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May 13, 2023 - Hodgetwins
08:58
THIS IS CRAZY!! The Border Has Never Been More Vulnerable
# texas national guard satire razor wire adicot wright alligators american citizenship anaconda movie border crossings border security citizenship requirements dangerous animals electric eels immigration policy military service national guard deployment physical wall

Hodgetwins satirize border security by mocking vague origin lists ranging from Guadalajara to Jupiter, advocating for the Texas National Guard and suggesting lethal deterrents like sharks, eels, and whales instead of walls. They propose a conditional path where survivors of these hazards must serve four years in the military before gaining citizenship, ultimately highlighting the absurdity of current debates through hyperbolic, dangerous alternatives. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Time Text
Invasion Coming to Our Border 00:07:48
Yeah, got a new show for y'all.
Got a damn good show.
All right, so a bunch of um see back in back in the old days when I was uh had to educate on this, I would tell y'all there's a bunch of Mexicans coming.
But ain't a bunch of Mexicans coming.
It's a bunch of Mexicans, some Guadalajarans.
Well, that's not even Guadalajarans.
What the hell are we talking about?
Why don't you let everybody know what you're talking about?
The invasion is coming to our damn border.
All these.
Yeah.
You just talking about Mexicans, Guadalajaran.
Yeah, but see, these ain't just Mexicans.
These are Nicaraguans.
Nigga, what?
Nicaraguans.
You got Hondurans coming.
You got Venezuelans.
You got Venezuelans.
You got Chinese.
You got Africans.
You got Moroccans.
You got Dukrainians coming.
You got Mesopotamians coming.
Mesopotamians.
Yeah, you got Plutonians coming.
Don't forget about Jupiter.
You got Jupiter's coming too.
Everybody's coming in this country, right?
You got people coming from the moon coming?
You got people from the Red Sea coming?
From the Black Sea, Red Sea, the Caspian Sea, the Pacific Ocean.
They coming from everywhere.
Right?
And they're sending the National Guard, the Texas National Guard, to the border.
Yo, that's good.
Pull that video up.
Put an army out there.
Protect our borders.
Forward! Forward! Forward!
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
Don't look too enthusiastic.
Drink them on the bus.
Like, don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, right, left.
Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, right, left.
Don't lie, don't laugh, don't lift, fright, live.
Don't lie, don't lift, go left, fright, live.
Go left, go left, go left, right, left, left, left, left, right, left.
Hey, all right, lay.
Let me cut this shit off.
They're like, Leo, Lev, come in.
Look, there they are.
The Mexicans get them.
Attack.
No, don't attack.
Just prevent them.
That's what they need to do, man.
Well, it's all Biden's fault, man.
They're not protecting our borders, man.
They need to.
You need to not let people, everybody think they can come.
Now they got these.
Go and put up the next video.
They got them at the board.
They put some razor wire.
That'll work some razor wire.
Got some razor wire going.
Put some razor wire around there and throw a couple gators in that water.
That's all you need.
See, you know what?
That would have saved a lot of money.
Just put up the razor wire.
Put some gators in there.
Put some gators in the water.
Put a couple crocs in there.
Put some gators, some crocs.
Put a couple pythons in there.
Put some eels in that bitch.
Put a couple stingrays.
Put some damn ancanas in there.
Oh, them Mexicans, they gonna stop coming.
They'll stop going in that water, man.
They see a croc come out there, man.
Oh, look.
Hey, Seuss, look.
Hey, Crocker.
These people like, we done walked 10,000 miles and we got to go back.
Yep, y'all need to turn around, go back where y'all came from.
Yeah, Trump, man, that wallman.
No, you don't need that wall, man.
You should have thrown some barbed wire.
That's way cheap in that wall.
And going to the zoo, hey, let me ball a couple of them crocodiles.
Give me a couple stingrays.
Give me two whales.
Give me a shark.
A great white.
Thank you.
You remember Adicot Wright?
That was the one black dude's light team.
He was scared the whole time.
Just screaming, acting like a little girl.
What was that?
It was one of the Anaconda movies.
Oh, yeah.
You know, that snake came up and bit that son bitch in the face.
Start wrapping his ass up.
Start rapping that bitch up.
Hey, man, what are you doing?
Hell, you could put some damn jellyfish in there.
The illegals been what's the jellyfish.
The damn jellyfish be like, what?
Run, he says, run is coming for you.
And did they sit down on the land watching them swallow Jesus?
Yeah, it'll make you go back.
You wouldn't even need you wouldn't even need those troops out there.
No, you wouldn't even need that damn razor wire out there.
No, you gotta get, nah, man, it's entrapment at that point.
You gotta put up the razor wire.
You just want them to get in the water at that point.
Now you gotta put up signs.
Attention.
Illegals.
We put some crocs in there.
We got some crocs and stingrays.
We got a great white in that bitch, too.
Got a couple hammerheads in there.
They ain't gonna kill you, but they're gonna gnaw your ass up.
Have my heads.
Put a couple hammerheads in there.
Yeah, they won't eat you at that.
He'll beat you in the hell.
Yeah, man.
I think he put some eels in there, man.
Shocked the shit out of you.
Put about 15,000 votes in there.
Have the.
Stop shaking here.
Stop shocking.
Stop.
Stop shaking.
Stop moving.
I'll stop taking.
Oh, man.
Now, you know what?
This is a land of immigrants.
All right.
This is a land of immigrants.
America was built on the blood, sweating, and tears of immigrants.
But you got to come here the right way.
But you got to come here the right way.
Yeah.
When you swimming through a rubber and you going through somebody's backyard.
Yeah, you going through barbed wire?
Yeah, you ain't doing it the right way.
You know, you don't supposed to be doing that.
Yeah.
The common sister, yeah, I don't supposed to be here.
They got barbed wire on here.
Yeah, they got shark man.
I think that'd be more cost-effective.
Oh, that had to be millions of dollars.
Yeah.
How much a gator gonna cost you?
Man.
Hey, reproduce yourself.
All you gotta do is you get a female gator and a male gator.
Put them in there.
They're gonna make some babies.
Yeah, they're gonna fight for territory, too.
You think these crocodiles, slow man, these crocodiles, they can run as fast as you say.
Boat, you put a couple crocs in there, they have all these baby gators.
Yeah.
Throw some anacona, some pythons.
They make a lot of snakes, man.
And then it'll force you to go through the front door.
Yeah.
You're supposed to go.
Ain't nobody trying to have a boar constructor wrapped around him, squeezing their eyes out.
Ain't nobody trying to get shocked by an eel.
Ain't nobody trying to wrestle a damn great white shark.
But people are trying to climb a wall.
Nobody Has Time for Gators 00:01:09
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Everybody got the time and energy climb wall.
Ain't nobody got the time or energy to fight a great white.
Hey, if you put a whale in that bitch.
Hey, Killer.
Hey, if you make it through all that over to bald wire, you can come in our country, but you got to join the military.
Hey, hey, wait a minute.
Hey, I tell you what, we put a couple whales in there, some sharks, some alligators, some eels.
If you make it through, if you make it alive, I give you papers.
Because you earned it.
But now, but there's a caveat.
You got to join the military and serve this country four years.
Nah, even if they make it through that, I'll give you some papers so you can join the military.
After you finish four years of honorable service, then you're an American.
You're a real American.
Damn good show.
Yup.
Damn good show.
Damn good show.
That's a damn good show, man.
It's a damn.
Hey, hey, if you ain't got much time, I do got short videos up here.
They ain't that long.
They're only about a minute long.
They're short.
If you got more time, I got longer videos down here.
Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe to the YouTube channel.
Damn.
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