After an alarmingly brief free portion, we deep dive into the Danny Masterson rape charge because it seems fishy. Then, it's Joe Biden falling, Trump winning, and a swarm of illegals destroying New York City.
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes. | |
| Can I go away? | |
| You have to be at least one pound to get a day free. | |
| Put it on the line and I feel fine, baby you're my super time. | |
| You have been looking for love, I know, you know. | |
| That was Burnsden, Super Time. | |
| Really cool video where there's a serious car accident and they jump in and start dancing with the victims who don't want them to. | |
| Kind of like that crazy horror movie with the two guys dressed in the tennis gear. | |
| I think it was Swedish. | |
| Funny Games. | |
| Funny Games. | |
| Oh, me no likey. | |
| That's like that dude who did the Sacrifice movie, you know, the one with the disturbing shit. | |
| He's American, though. | |
| You know the one? | |
| Midsommar? | |
| Oh, yes, yes, yes. | |
| He's in our racism intro, right? | |
| Where the son's raping the father. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Yeah, European whites, their movies are too scary. | |
| I don't like that. | |
| At least American horror has an element of humor. | |
| But European horror, it's too advanced for my liking. | |
| Look at them enjoy the blood. | |
| They're weird, those Europeans. | |
| They've been around for too long. | |
| I like new countries, like Canada and America. | |
| And we have great leaders, too. | |
| Like Joe Biden, who didn't fall, he careened into the ground. | |
| We'll be covering that with my pet Biden. | |
| So that song really sticks in your head, the chorus does, and it got me thinking about repetition and the way things get stuck in your head. | |
| How much of music do we like, genuinely like, and how much is it just repetition that we recognize it, you know? | |
| Like the Beatles. | |
| You've heard the Beatles 80 million times, or Bob Marley. | |
| Or Led Zeppelin, so you'll like them. | |
| I remember when I was young, a teenager, maybe 14, there was this punk band, GBH. | |
| And they're not a very likable band. | |
| But I liked their look, and I wanted to dress like them. | |
| So I just force-fed City Baby Attacked by Rats into my brain. | |
| Listened to it a hundred times and then I liked it. | |
| You ever have the opposite? | |
| Where you like a song and you have to stop yourself from, like, exhausting the song? | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| Jerry Cinnamon. | |
| Bonnie. | |
| Oh yeah, dude, well I don't think you did a great job of not playing that out. | |
| Yeah, maybe I overdid it. | |
| It was during the skiing trip. | |
| Every night was, do you know, on the ski lift, do you know the money? | |
| Yeah, I ruined him. | |
| You did, yeah. | |
| I did. | |
| It's like, I remember I was really into eggnog and I chugged like a three liter thing of it and now. | |
| What were you, five years old? | |
| I can't even look at eggnog. | |
| Yeah, and remember the payola in the 80s I think it was? | |
| Pay to play. | |
| So these record labels were caught paying record labels to play the song again and again and again and it made it a hit. | |
| I'm not saying there's no such thing as good music, but I was going to do a green screen on underrated albums. | |
| Like Cut the Crap by The Clash, Mondo Bongo by Boomtown Rats, and Word of Mouth by The Kinks. | |
| And they have great hits on. | |
| The Mondo Bongo has that, Another Piece of Red Left My Atlas Today, and Up All Night Doon Doon Doon Doon, and then Cut the Crap has This is England on it, and Word of Mouth has that Living on a Thin Line that they use on The Sopranos. | |
| So they're three great albums, you should pull them up. | |
| But I was thinking, the reason I like them so well, obviously I listened to the shit out of The Clash because I was punk. | |
| No one likes that album, and I think it's great. | |
| What are you doing? | |
| I just looked up word of mouth album just to be fast. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And then look what happens. | |
| But I realized like Mondo Bongo. | |
| I got that record. | |
| We had an air guitar, the air band championship. | |
| And I can't remember why I bought that record, but you can tell it's very 80s. | |
| And so Mondo Bongo was one of like three records I had when I was 12. | |
| It was ACDC Back in Black. | |
| And I think it was the Knack. | |
| And maybe the Beatles, hey Jude. | |
| So when you only have four or five albums you listen to them repeatedly. | |
| I have this album memorized and I think it's great but it might suck. | |
| So do you understand what I'm saying here? | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| A lot of what you like might just be familiarity. | |
| Your perspective gets warped too because you think kind of like the ACDC thing where you think that you're not sure what's a deep cut of what's a hit. | |
| Because you're like, I've listened to all the songs so I know them all. | |
| So when somebody puts on an obscure song, you're like, that's not obscure. | |
| That's the top three. | |
| Everyone knows Let Me Put My Love Into You. | |
| I'm actually arguing your point now. | |
| I'm saying that, you know, you think it's a deep cut because you're not sure how the whole world thinks of it, but you know every song. | |
| So when I first heard that Bernsden opening song, I was like, looping in your mind and I feel fine. | |
| I was humming it on my motorcycle. | |
| And I'm thinking, did he trick me into liking Bernsden? | |
| How much of music is quality music and how much is just trickery? | |
| Welcome to the live episode of Get Off My Lawn. | |
| No, the free episode of Get Off My Lawn, but only the first little part is free. | |
| Then we cut you off. | |
| So that little nugget about repetition and forcing yourself to like certain bands is free. | |
| You can take that thought to the bank. | |
| And you know what you could do? | |
| Check out Mondo Bongo. | |
| Check out Word of Mouth and check out Cut the Crap and tell me if they suck. | |
| Now you know my taste in music. | |
| You follow the show. | |
| You can listen to my eight hour long mix, Road Trip. | |
| So if you like that but you hate those three albums, then I'm wrong and they're not good. | |
| It's just the repetition that made me like them. | |
| Be interesting to know if I like them or not. | |
| Ever hear a song and you know the song and you're like, but you don't know the context because you can't remember who it is. | |
| And you're like, okay, so now I can honestly, without any context, know if I like this band. | |
| And you're like, yes, I remember this song. | |
| It's a fucking jam. | |
| This band rocks. | |
| Oh my fucking God, it's Culture Club. | |
| I just admitted I like Boy George. | |
| And then you learn that about yourself. | |
| I don't know if I've had that specific moment. | |
| I've had that moment. | |
| I'm not on Purple Works Nutrition today. | |
| I did not work out. | |
| I got a lot of yard work to do this evening, so I'm not going to take it. | |
| Oh, maybe I'll take it for that. | |
| Take it right now and just see what kind of a weird show you come up with. | |
| No, I have noticed a difference in the show sometimes when I'm on Purple Works. | |
| Oh yeah? | |
| Especially if I have a coffee on top of it. | |
| Yeah, I can tell you're not on it right now. | |
| It's a free show, fuck them. | |
| There are two things that have entered my life lately that I absolutely love. | |
| Number one is obviously the M&M Blast. | |
| Those are my favorite. | |
| I got an M&M blast. | |
| These are my favorite. | |
| These are my favorite. | |
| A close second is Purple Works Nutrition's Pink Lemonade Pre-Workout. | |
| Is this the pink lemonade one? | |
| Well, la-dee-da. | |
| Developed by a baby monster paramedic, Purpleworks is a fantastic pre-workout that I've been using for several months now. | |
| There are no artificial dyes or flavors, and they use only the highest quality ingredients. | |
| Carnicine, beta-alanine, caffeine, green tea extract, and an array of vitamins to help charge you up, help your immune system, and aid in muscle recovery after your workout. | |
| That's true. | |
| It doesn't say that. | |
| absolutely any athletic activity. | |
| Unlike some of their competitors, who lie with facility, Purple Works won't leave terrible smells and stains in your cup or shaker. | |
| Before you say, Hey, Gavin, isn't that one of them, they're gay companies? | |
| I say, no, it is not. | |
| Purple Works is purple year-round, 24-7, 365. | |
| Purple is not a gay color. | |
| Purple is a royal color, which symbolizes knowledge, wisdom, and regality. | |
| It doesn't say that. | |
| You're a liar. | |
| Purple Works has a new line of products, fine Italian heterosexual coffees. | |
| We got all of that here. | |
| And then we got this, Italiano style. | |
| Look at that, even instant. | |
| You know what that coffee says before you put cream or sugar into it? | |
| What? | |
| I am a woman, I am black! | |
| Not the woman part. | |
| I love that his career is over. | |
| Um... | |
| So they have four options available including a high-quality instant coffee, two types of ground coffee, and a big-ass 2.2 pound bag of organic whole bean coffee. | |
| I'm actually thinking of putting some of this coffee into my M&M Blast. | |
| That would be delicious and energizing. | |
| I could easily see that becoming my favorite. | |
| Go to purpleworksnutrition.com and enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off. | |
| Don't forget to buy a shaker. | |
| They're shipping to the USA and Canada. | |
| They've been getting great business and great reviews from all you baby monsters. | |
| I got, I talked to a baby monster actually about his Purpleworks routine and he said he doesn't get the, the, the prickles in his hand. | |
| He doesn't get the tingles. | |
| Hmm, do you do pre-workout? | |
| I wonder what that is. | |
| Yeah, you know what since I've been boxing I don't really take pre-workout anymore But I got a new gym that I've been going to and I've taken it twice half scoops You've been going to the gym on top of your normal. | |
| Yeah boxing gym Yeah, cuz I just saw I was losing some shoulder mass and I was like fuck that but there's I worked really hard for that mass, you know, so I didn't want to But there's weights at your stupid gym. | |
| They close so early. | |
| That's the thing. | |
| They close early. | |
| What time? | |
| 8. | |
| That's when I put my baby to sleep. | |
| That's exactly when I have to go to the gym. | |
| You know what? | |
| Do we have any purple workouts? | |
| You have a purple workouts tub. | |
| There's one here for the show. | |
| Is there not one to give? | |
| Maybe I can put some in a Ziploc. | |
| I think we have two of these. | |
| That'd be sweet. | |
| All right, cool. | |
| So I will try this. | |
| I'll even record myself doing the workout. | |
| I swear, right when you're at your breaking point... We had to do this one the other day. | |
| It was this, a squat, and then you stand up on the box. | |
| Oh, fudge. | |
| Stand back down. | |
| And what are you holding there? | |
| Like a... Two 25s. | |
| Oh, yeah, okay. | |
| Damn. | |
| It sucked! | |
| But it gives you a second wind. | |
| Alright, let's get into the show. | |
| As you know, we start the show with anecdotes about our lives. | |
| We were here a few hours ago, so not a lot has developed since I last saw you. | |
| But one thing is for sure, we have the most intellectual mice in the world in our studio. | |
| All of the traps, which I tested a hundred times, they're this sensitive. | |
| I can show you how sensitive they are. | |
| I could swivel this camera. | |
| Oh, you're bringing it over. | |
| Here we go. | |
| You're on cam. | |
| What the what? | |
| Here we go. | |
| I got, you're on cam. | |
| What the, what the, what the what? - Actually that one still has peanut butter in it. | |
| - Huh. | |
| - The one in the center of the floor, he didn't go near and the cops were trying to move it They go, he's never going to go there. | |
| They go along the edge of the walls. | |
| I go, I know, but I have a camera on that. | |
| So on the off chance he goes near it. | |
| So this has been licked clean. | |
| It's still set and he licked it clean. | |
| So I was just to show you, you're, you're probably like, Oh, you didn't make it hair trigger enough. | |
| It's pretty easy. | |
| So, someone sent me another trap. | |
| We're done. | |
| We're resorting to poison. | |
| It's the only thing you can do. | |
| Sorry, mice. | |
| We're gonna have to smell stinky dead mice in the walls for a while, but... I don't care. | |
| You won. | |
| You won, mice. | |
| You won us zero. | |
| Yep. | |
| You won us zero. | |
| You. | |
| Won. | |
| Us. | |
| Zero. | |
| Okay. | |
| Speaking of retarded young people, this guy is writing Mitch Hedberg jokes and then performing them for us. | |
| This is my idea that I've never done. | |
| Ideas are a dime a dozen. | |
| I want to be the first man on Mars. | |
| Not because I want to be an astronaut, but because I want to be the best on the planet at everything. | |
| I have to sing the ABCs to know what letter comes next in the alphabet. | |
| Thank God numbers are not like that. | |
| Hey Mitch, what comes after one million? | |
| Uh, we're gonna be here a while. | |
| I think the guy who invented cheesy bread just screwed up making pizza. | |
| He forgot one of the two ingredients that goes on the dough and said, fuck it, cheesy bread. | |
| Part seven of jokes that I wrote. | |
| Pretty good stuff. | |
| I'm so happy to see that. | |
| Um, also in the news, some guy put a grass snake in his mouth. | |
| Now, snakes, believe it or not, don't like to be picked up. | |
| So they piss and shit all over themselves when you grab them, and then you smell your hand after and it reeks. | |
| So don't put them in your mouth. | |
| But, I've been screaming this for a long time. | |
| Do not do any animal dares. | |
| Ever. | |
| I always bring up the guy who ate a slug as a dare. | |
| Dares are often really bad. | |
| Did you hear about this guy who jumped off a cruise liner as a dare and then they couldn't find him when they turned around? | |
| Yeah. | |
| I saw a tweet about that from Elijah that kind of put things into perspective. | |
| He's like, this is what happens when you throw anything overboard. | |
| And it kind of recontextualizes how horrific it was. | |
| Did you see this? | |
| You heard about this, Funk? | |
| Have you seen this? | |
| I'm sure it's here somewhere. | |
| He sure posts a lot. | |
| He does. | |
| Oh, I'll find it. | |
| Oh, here we go. | |
| This is what likely happened to the 18 year old who jumped off the cruise ship. | |
| That story in the video really hitting different now that I have a son. | |
| It's so difficult for the parents, blah, blah, blah. | |
| Knowing that your kid was likely eaten by sharks in pitch black water. | |
| So as soon as you throw any chum in there. | |
| It's game. | |
| I used to think that sharks were rare. | |
| Well, the ocean's a big place. | |
| Yes, I know. | |
| So, it depends on where you are, clearly. | |
| Yeah. | |
| You're talking about the ocean like it's a swimming pool. | |
| Yeah, what's shark per capita? | |
| Or shark per zone? | |
| I wonder. | |
| But that guy who ate a slug totally paralyzed. | |
| You know, these things have been around for hundreds of millions of years. | |
| For a reason. | |
| In that book, Unbroken, the P.O.W. | |
| Luis Zamperini, he caught a seagull when he was stranded on that rubber dinghy for a month. | |
| And it was inedible. | |
| What? | |
| I don't know about this. | |
| What? | |
| Wait, that's in Florida waters, right? | |
| Yeah Look, can you not do any kind of awesome number? | |
| We're still learning something fun No, there's 1 billion sharks in the ocean. | |
| Is that fucking? | |
| Oh, yeah, that makes sense Anyway, stop talking He gets a seagull and he rips it apart. | |
| He drinks the blood, which is basically water, so that's drinkable. | |
| But he tried to eat the meat and he kept puking it out because it tastes so disgusting. | |
| And I'm thinking, yeah, that's what you want to do if you're a seagull. | |
| You want to taste bad. | |
| It's not good to taste good. | |
| So this is what happens when you put a snake in your mouth. | |
| No, they're made to not eat. | |
| That's why I stink. | |
| Oh yeah, there it is. | |
| He goes, they're made to not be eaten. | |
| What did he say? | |
| Did he say get away from me, dude? | |
| He goes, they're made to not be eaten. | |
| What did he say? | |
| They say get away from him, and then he goes, me, dude. | |
| It's like the kid says get away from, and then he finishes her sentence with me, dude. | |
| I'm with you. | |
| I agree. | |
| Oh, yeah, there it is. | |
| Put it down. | |
| Put it down. | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| Get away from me. | |
| Wow. | |
| Snakes of Instagram is a hashtag, apparently, and that falls under it. - Uh, Alright. | |
| What else do we have to say? | |
| So this is a, my wife would not be excited This is very unfortunate. | |
| I should probably do it behind a paywall. | |
| That annoying curly-haired dude from that 70s show is looking at 30 years in prison for being a serial rapist. | |
| And Leah Ramini, who I respect quite a bit, a sort of family friend that grew up with her, and she seems cool, and that documentary she did about Scientology is really good. | |
| Scientology is a cult. | |
| A cult is defined as anything that An organization that eschews non-members. | |
| So they call Christianity a cult, but Christians are fine if you're friends with Muslims and other people and atheists. | |
| Scientologists aren't allowed to be friends with that. | |
| And if you leave, you're totally ostracized. | |
| So fuck Scientology, obviously. | |
| Danny Masterson, I don't give a shit about him. | |
| He sounds like he was a complete asshole and a violent fucker in every sense of the word. | |
| But I don't know, man. | |
| I'm not seeing a ton of evidence here. | |
| And this, I know that there's a lot of money on the table. | |
| One of them has already received 400 grand from Danny and the church to shut up. | |
| The church, I believe, harassed them. | |
| Yes, I think that's true. | |
| And there's a lawsuit there waiting to happen. | |
| But I don't know, man. | |
| I hate saying, I hate not believing all women, but With these cases, I keep screaming the same thing every fucking time. | |
| If you were raped, go to the police that night. | |
| You know what I would do if I was raped? | |
| Well, first of all, I'd try to find the guy and kill him. | |
| But if there's no way of me exacting my own revenge, I would go to the police within seconds. | |
| Like, in one of these cases, She, he rapes her in, anally rapes her in 2002, and then in 2003 he rapes her again at his house. | |
| And you're like, wait, wait, you went to your anal rapist's house? | |
| Hey honey, where are you going? | |
| Oh, you know that dude who anally raped me last year? | |
| Yeah, he's having a party. | |
| What? | |
| I'm not staying long. | |
| Well, I'm not going to deny myself parties just because it's at my anal rapist's house. | |
| I just know to watch my anus around him. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I'm just gonna put a cork in my butthole. | |
| Yes. | |
| Like, doesn't that sound weird to you? | |
| To me, yes. | |
| And this whole, like, statute of limitations? | |
| And when you read it, like, when I read the whole story, right? | |
| I'm like you. | |
| I'm like the jury. | |
| I go, what a dick. | |
| This guy sounds like a fucking loser, you guys. | |
| And how dare Scientology harass him? | |
| I want everyone to pay. | |
| That's my normal emotions, that's everyone's normal emotions, but court is not about emotions. | |
| Where's the evidence? | |
| And the beauty of reporting a rape the second it happens is we can test your blood, we can look for rufi rohypnol in your blood, we can check out your anus for lesions, which I love doing just on my own time, it's a hobby of mine. | |
| When it's 13 years ago? | |
| I don't know, man. | |
| So go to the first one. | |
| And by the way, as a total side note, and we're already being sexist so we might as well, I'm fascinated by how women lose their looks. | |
| Like I've been this, I was like a, I was like a 6.5 when I was 30. | |
| Now I'm 53. | |
| I'm like a 6.2. | |
| when I was 30. | |
| Now I'm 53. | |
| I'm like a 6.2. | |
| We don't really change. | |
| I won't go down to five for another like 15 years. - Yes. | |
| At which point you don't even get a number because you're completely unfuckable. | |
| But Bijou Phillips used to be one of the hottest women in the world. | |
| She was like a Manhattan socialite. | |
| She's a sister of the chick from one day at a time. | |
| And now she's a very attractive old lady. | |
| Like she's just a reasonable mom. | |
| And then, you know, your kids are beautiful. | |
| So it's like your kids take your looks away from you. | |
| Or female daughters take their mother's looks. | |
| And I'm sure 10 years of your husband being seen as a serial rapist aren't helping. | |
| Why are you focusing on that picture? | |
| Go down. | |
| It's a picture of her. | |
| That's her. | |
| Now, you go, that's a nice mom. | |
| A nice old lady. | |
| She is old. | |
| She's 47, right? | |
| But then you go, that's Bijou Phillips. | |
| Look up Bijou Phillips. | |
| She's sort of still her old self there. | |
| That's like beginning the transition from gorgeous babe to... I know this is the most shallow, stupid thing. | |
| But there, look at that one in the middle where she's got the blue dress on. | |
| I think that's like 10 years ago. | |
| That's the same chick. | |
| Got an Emma Stone quality to it? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| The cute cheerleader thing doesn't age well either. | |
| Anyway, dumb thing. | |
| I hate when magazines do that, like, look how they've aged! | |
| They're unrecognizable! | |
| Yeah, they got old. | |
| So I'm not bringing you any new news. | |
| But, um... Yeah, they go... Unless, did he confess? | |
| Did he say, yeah, I used to put drugs in their drink? | |
| I don't think he did. | |
| So someone could just come up to you 13 years later, if you're connected, if you're rich and you're connected to an organization that's worth, I don't know, billions? | |
| Hundreds of millions? | |
| They could just say, uh, yeah, he drugged me and raped me. | |
| Alright, we're going to get into this and the evidence but I'm going to cut off the freeloaders because I promised I wasn't going to be generous anymore. | |
| So we'll end the free portion of today's show with our sponsor Johnny Apple CBD. | |
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| Support Johnny Apple. | |
| Support the show. | |
| Alright folks, I'm going to tell you how I really feel about Danny Masterson behind the paywall. | |
| Censored.tv is 10 bucks a month. | |
| When we started it was just me. | |
| And we slowly have accrued dozens more shows. | |
| We will be getting more shows. | |
| We've got a big announcement to make. | |
| We have acquired a big name in the right-wing comedy world. | |
| This is the comedy they don't want you to hear. | |
| There is more content here than you should watch. | |
| If you watched 100% of everything we did and gave it 100% of your attention, you're watching too much TV. | |
| You gotta get out more. | |
| That's how much there is. | |
| And it's a wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad. | |
| When you see that Target happily loses nine billion dollars to please BlackRock, and you don't understand the economics of that, and you think the world has lost it. | |
| When you hear about teachers explaining to their students why butt sex feels good, because it stimulates the prostate, and you think the world has no sane people left in it. | |
| Then you turn on this show and you go, oh, okay. | |
| Phew! | |
| There is a wee bit of sanity in this world gone mad. | |
| So try it. | |
| You won't regret it. | |
| Actually, you know what? | |
| If you put in the promo code one month, you can try it for free for a month. | |
| And I promise you, you won't regret it. | |
| And by the way, I never don't show up. | |
| There's new content by the G every single day. | |
| And if I'm going away to go interview someone, which I am doing, I'll tell you about that later. | |
| We bank episodes. | |
| So it's always here for you. | |
| Always reliable. | |
| Every holiday, every everything. | |
| 365 days a year. |