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April 28, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
58:19
GOML LIVE #191 - RIGHT WING GOSSIP

Tall people are never homeless, Biden's still useless, lesbians are living off the grid, it's nature - not nurture, Seth Rogan sucks, and it's time to put a ring on it.

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Time Text
That was Plague Vendor.
Black Sap Scriptures is a song in LA Punky Band.
They really throw the word punk around these days.
I like them a lot.
They sound like 60s punk, pre-punk punk.
I don't really call them punk, though.
More like Iggy Pop, raw power, Stooges kind of vibes.
But they're on epitaph.
That shit's still going.
Welcome to the free live show.
Today's episode is brought to you by Sonoran.
Sonoran.
Almost like when you make noise when you're asleep.
I had to take a night course to learn how to pronounce it.
I kept saying Sonoran.
But it's an engraving company.
Look at this cool things they did.
They made me this.
Don't let me do shots or Coke.
It's a flask.
Problem is, if you're drinking from a flask, you're doing shots.
What is a flask?
But a big pile of shots.
Little shot glass there.
And then we have, look at these cool, I don't know if you can, yeah, you can see they engrave this stone and make coasters.
I decided today, if you don't have custom coasters in your man cave, then you don't have a man cave.
And I would like to expand on that.
We're a little off topic here.
If you're not at least tangentially related to Glasgow, you're not Scottish.
You're from like a rural area outside of Edinburgh or you're near the coast.
I keep meeting these nice Scottish guys on my dating apps.
And I'm like, so I get into Scottish mode.
I'm like, yeah, fucking smashing beer around and killing people.
And they're all like, hey, calm down a bit there, pal.
And I go, oh, you're not a violent asshole?
Well, then you're not Scottish.
And then third, Coaster Scotland.
And I'm sick of people with one kid calling themselves a dad.
I mean, technically, dictionary-wise, you're a dad, but you're not like that YouTuber, Dad Saves the World.
I'm such a dad.
Me and my son.
You have one kid, dude.
People have five kids, and they don't call themselves world's best dad.
Oh, I'm such a, this, us dads think that, nah, nah, sorry.
They do hats.
Maddie was wearing one on the show last night.
They do Zippos, engrave your Zippo with a sensor.tv.
I want to take all this stuff home, but we need it for the show.
Maybe I'll make a commercial at home.
Anyway, Sonoran Defense Technologies is a laser engraving company and firearms dealer based in Arizona.
They have a focus on the online community.
While they specialize in Glock polymer laser stippling, custom Glock builds, and other firearm engraving, they can also laser engrave many different products.
Sonoran Defense has several easy-to-order laser stippling packages, but can also accommodate one-off custom designs upon request.
They can do engraving on all sorts of metals and polymers.
The Glock laser stipling services offer a huge improvement on the factory feel and texture of the pistol frame and is actively used by many law enforcement officers, competition shooters, and concealed carry holders alike.
Check out their Instagram, Soner and Defense.
So you can see how to spell sauna in there.
Sonerin Defense at Soner and Defense to see more examples of their work.
You can send in your Glock and get the stipling done, and they will send it right back to you.
For more information on that service, you want to check out the frequently asked questions section on their website or get in touch with them.
It's an easy process to get your Glock custom engraved, so check it out.
Soner and Defense also offers laser-marked AR-15 magazines with many designs to choose from, as well as custom designs that are not listed on the website for their social media followers, such as the Honkler, the Taytay, and even some get off my lawn theme designs.
That's right, guys.
I have my own magazine.
They also do custom requests to put your own personalized images, text, or logos on mags for you.
Other examples of laser-engraved products include hats with custom patches, slate or drink coasters, vinyl, decals, Zippo lighters, flasks, water bottles, dog tags, ammo boxes, and more.
Anything metallic in polymer should work.
Great gift options for holidays, weddings, bachelor parties, birthdays, and any other occasion.
If you have a small business, a band, a restaurant, or anything when you're looking for merch, this is the place to go for any custom engravings on metals or polymers.
Again, they have an in-depth, frequently asked question page on their website.
For any questions you might have about their products and services, Sonerindefense.com is their website.
Enter promo code JokerFace for 10% off everything except for firearms.
And if you want put you have like a male baby, you want to put on your gun holder without bullets, then you can always be like, My son's on the cover of a magazine.
Just something fun, like little joke, you know.
I'm glad you showed up, Japanese guy.
I wanted to talk about Asians briefly for a second.
Is it possible that languages come from the physicality of the mouth?
Like if you have like a tongue tie, you sound weird, like clip-lip, sound weird.
I don't know.
You listen to Hebrew and Middle Eastern languages.
There's a lot of sound outside of it.
They have to sand in the throat.
Because I have a, and this might be a racist theory.
I feel like if I was blind, I'd be able to tell an Asian American who was born here.
Yeah, absolutely.
And when, and some, look, okay, let's jump ahead here to where is it now?
Asian.
Asians are Chinese.
1-9.
Don't you think a blind person could tell these are Asians?
And they have no accent, though, right?
Yeah, yes, dummy.
And a guy.
Recently, I've been feeling this: I don't like it when guys are like so showy.
Oh, flashy.
Flashy.
Yeah, flashy.
Oh, the average.
The average Joe.
Yeah, that's basically what I'm saying.
I can see that.
Like, coming to LA, especially, because I feel like in LA, a lot of people try to be showy, especially the title that you do.
You know what I mean?
It's like so much hype.
Like, what kind of shoes are you wearing?
What car are you driving?
But when I go to your home, your home is like so messy.
Like, it's so cool.
Am I crazy right there?
When I hear that, I feel like I can speak perfect Mandarin and I'm understanding people that are speaking Mandarin.
I tell you why.
I'm not even going to get Detective Shitty Bumper because I'm correct.
Okay.
Now, like Chat GPT, something, like when they replicate a voice, the one part that's big fail time is if you can talk and it turns your voice into another voice.
But the real key to make sure sound like the person you're trying to impersonate is the cadence and the flow of how you talk.
Cadence, big time deal.
If you don't have good cadence, it's all it sounds like nobody.
And so when they grow up with their parents, even though they have no accent, they have the same cadence.
Oh, that's not a bad theory, yeah.
Because like the way when the first one who asked the question, when she comes back with it's flashy, I could just hear someone being like, and then someone else going, you know?
Yes.
I don't know how, but it's true.
Here, look at this.
Do you sound Asian something?
Like, for instance, like Steve, what the fuck's that?
Wait, wait, go back to that.
Are they saying what I'm saying?
You ever talk to someone so much you start adapting them and then using it just now?
This isn't to say that Asian American English can't exist, even though the category of Asian American is very broad, it exists for a reason.
I want to get a blind guy in here and ask him, did you ever detect an Asian who was born here and it's their mother tongue?
They don't even speak Mandarin or Japanese or anything.
And you were just like, I have a feeling that this woman's Asian.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, maybe it is like hereditarily.
Like you have physical traits.
Like you said, the mouth shape.
But this one, they use a breathier voice.
That could be something.
Okay, go back to the clip.
Because this could also be hindsight is 2020, and then you come up with a theory backwards.
This site is speaking myself.
2020, because it's slant.
Me, like, I don't care what you're wearing.
Like, can are you smart?
Like, for me, like, I need someone who's like very communicative.
Yeah, but like, extremely.
Oh, like, maybe like that.
I'm going to smile.
Like that laugh?
Like a talker laugh?
Oh.
Oh, shing, it's responder.
Responder.
And the laughing responder.
You ever see Steve Byrne talk?
No?
Who's Steve Byrne?
He's like comedian something, you know.
You never heard Steve Byrne something?
No, I never heard him a something.
Comedian Steve Byrne.
You're going to see something.
Look, here, Steve Byrne something.
Okay, something.
Okay, here, talk.
Okay, now he's definitely 100% born here.
Probably doesn't speak any Asian language.
He appears to be half Japanese, half Chinese.
don't know, but he definitely, let's hear him talk.
I think Korean, not so yeah.
Last light.
It's like a talk show where it's pedic.
Yeah, because I think these days, like, you'll see.
Like, there's comics like Anthony Jeslnik, right?
He's a traditional setup, set up punch.
So you're saying he sounds so white.
I know what you're going to say.
He sounds so white.
Yeah, he doesn't sound.
A blind guy wouldn't know he's Asian.
You listen to him and you compare it.
It's almost like a more toned-down version of who's Star Trek, gay guy.
Oh my.
George Takai.
Yeah, he has like almost that super subtle.
All right, I'm bored this subject.
Go to 2-0.
I thought this was interesting.
What have I always said?
I've always said everything comes down to 95.5.
Your life is 95% nature, 5% nurture.
95% of people should not go to get a further education.
I said to my son today, he came home in the morning.
I go, what do you do?
I actually had a machete out because there was no cars in the driveway and someone was in my home.
So I almost chopped my son's head off.
And I was nude.
And I go, what are you doing home?
He goes, oh, I go to a three-hour break.
All teenagers talk like surfers.
I go to a three-hour break, so I just come home and see doing baseball stuff, playing video games.
And I just think, you're fucking school.
We moved out to the suburbs for the schools.
And they can't manage schedules where there isn't a three-hour hole.
That's ridiculous, pathetic.
We've been doing school for a little while now.
You may have figured out the patterns and how to get a full schedule hammered out for every fucking student.
I just said to him, you know what?
I hate your school.
I hate teachers.
I hate education.
I'm a radical.
Like, I get shit for racism accusations, which are totally unfounded.
But if you want to criticize my views on education, that's a good field to get into because I am a radical.
I think there should be no school till they're 10.
They're not learning anything.
They should do like they do in Norway with Forrest kindergarten.
And as far as further education, 5%.
I said to my son, be an engineer or a plumber, nothing in between.
Don't take linguistics or mass comm or other bullshit or my dumb degree, English literature.
What the fuck was that?
Read books and we'll tell you what they mean.
Okay, that sounds like a great education.
His class is like in the English, they did Romeo and Juliet.
Oh, good.
Shakespeare.
You're learning the classics?
Yeah, they're doing a play, though.
They're doing two plays.
One is Romeo and Romeo, and the other is Juliet and Juliet.
Okay, that's what Shakespeare was all about, too.
Gay rights.
Anyway, this guy confirms my suspicions.
Dr. Barkley explains, kids are, no, go back.
Kids are born with 400 traits.
I've heard people say, experts say, that even if you're atheist or religious is inherent at birth.
If you're a curious person who is cynical, that's inherent at birth.
That links to religion.
Your love of God, your need for faith, that is inherent.
I don't know why God made so many atheists.
They're annoying.
Because you wouldn't have the reward of somebody finding faith if faith was just default.
He gave us Ricky Gervais.
I like dogs.
Ricky Gervais loves dogs more than humans.
Fish are better than people.
This has no sound.
I love Ricky Gervais.
They took the sound away.
I guess we could just read.
What?
Yeah.
That has no sound.
No.
And it says, even when you try to click it, the video has no sound.
So I found the thing.
I just, the seven minutes.
Oh.
Well, they go back to the thing, Majig.
We'll read it out for the people who are only listening to the audio.
Neuro, okay, go ahead.
What we've learned in the last 20 years, research in neuroimaging, behavior genetics, developmental psychology, neuropsychology can be boiled down to this phrase.
Your child is born with more than 400 psychological traits that will emerge as they mature, and they have nothing to do with you.
So the idea that you're going to engineer personalities and IQ and academic skills and all these other things just are not true.
Your child is not a blank slate on which you get to write, which is kind of a relief as a parent.
I've always said, like, to guys who are scared of being a dad, being a dad is just sticking around.
Being there if they want to play.
They want to hang out with you a lot.
You're a fucking rock star when they're toddlers.
They want to fight you all the time and stuff and play.
And then they get bored of you just like all other toys.
They get bored of you around when adolescence begins.
And then your job is just a security guard.
You just have to be there.
They need anything or to answer questions or deal with the occasional crisis, which they probably don't want your help on.
So yeah, if your kid's going to be successful, he's going to be successful.
And Barack Obama's entire ethos, his legacy, his presidency was based on the assumption that it's all nurture.
And we just got to get these guys an education.
And we just got to get them.
We got to mix up the schools.
And we have to expose these people to this.
And then you got to see it to be it, right?
So much of the left's existence is based on this assumption that if they just see the black astronaut, then we'll have more black astronauts.
Nah.
Now, as a libertarian free market dude, I want everyone to have the same opportunity, but that's the way it is now.
There's no systemic racism.
There's systemic racism against Asians getting into college.
But for the most part, if you hustle, you're in.
And if that means hockey is all white and basketball is all black, I don't give a shit.
You know, the merge of these two topics was summarized perfectly by a Josh LaCash tweet where he was highlighting that TikTok Zoomers.
Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.
Here it is.
It's what's his face?
Schaefer.
Elijah Schaefer.
We got a lot of gossip coming up about the right wing, including Elijah.
I hope no one's mad at me after it's done.
I like Elijah, but the stories are out there.
Gen Z developed a new accent on TikTok.
This is like a cool guy who moved to LA, but wasn't born there.
That's what you said.
Or they just yell and act super surprised.
Oh my gosh, guys, you're not going to believe it.
Clickbait accent.
So today we're playing another prank on the Apple store by setting all of their alarms to go off in the middle of the night and then get the workers' reactions the very next morning.
So after lots of distractions and sneakiness, we did what we did.
After a lot of distractions.
Set for 1208.
We're coming back at midnight.
You see all the phones.
You see all the phones?
They don't want to use their nose because that's cringe.
It's cringe to breathe out of your nose.
Okay, dude.
Surfs up, Jeff Spokoli.
Noses are for boogers, and that's it.
It's spelling farts.
That's what they said.
That's not my words.
They are doing their darndest, though, to avoid meritocracy and destroy it, actually.
And that's what trans is.
Trans is destroying the world that God created.
And it's a clown world thing to do.
Go to 1.7.
This guy, trans marathoner, Glenn Eek, his name's Glenn.
Glenn Frank offers to give back medal after beating 14K in female category.
This guy ran as a dude like last week.
And now he has a stuffed bra and some rainbow leggings.
And he's winning women's marathons.
His hair isn't even long.
I hate when their hair is short.
It's like, so you just drew lipstick?
Good power.
So having done them in different places, how does this compare?
London is the best.
This is the easiest.
This is the easiest woman's run I ever conquered.
I'm letting them run past me.
I'm going to catch up.
Yeah, the race isn't over.
He stopped to do four interviews during the marathon and still won.
He's having a baby.
He's not going to be a grandma.
Oh, he almost said grandfather.
Did you see that?
So I'm going to be a grand granny.
Look at his ridiculous face.
I'm at the point now where I think these guys are on our side and they're ridiculing the trans movement.
Because if that's ridiculous.
If this guy is ridiculing things, he's doing a great job.
If this is a clown, he deserves a gig.
Barnum and Bailey.
Look at this picture, 1-8.
I can't tell if it's Photoshopped, but it's a perfect representation of this clown world we're in.
Look at these little midget men that are women and these giant women that are men.
It looks something out of Lord of the Rings, isn't it?
It literally is the hobbits.
It's their hobbits.
I just finally watched that series.
And yeah, that's exactly what I thought the first time.
You're not a dude.
You're not.
And you're not a chick.
If there's anything that solidifies the difference between men and women, it's the ridiculous costumes that they put on.
The way these freaks look when they reverse their roles is just comical.
Are you sure this is...
I can't tell if this is real, dude.
Because I don't see any Photoshop artifacts in his little hand is there where it should be.
What the fuck?
Their heads are different sizes.
This looks like I took a bunch of dudes and dressed them up as women and then took a bunch of chicks and dressed them up as guys and gave them testosterone and estrogen, switched it around.
And then I said to everyone, see, it doesn't work.
Okay, can we stop this now?
Again, this is like it's on our side.
It's literally the same thing.
It's the same picture.
Gandalf the dude.
And then my brother sent me this awesome Instagram channel that account.
What do you call it?
Page?
Account?
Yeah, account.
That is these lesbians who think they're dudes and they're living off the grid.
And nothing says living off the grid, like vlogging your progress on Instagram.
What?
How did you upload this?
With acorns and cherry bombs?
So they are totally incompetent at using tools, believe it or not.
And anyway, just check this out.
They're building a chicken coop with stuff they found in the garbage.
868 off-grid.
The sun is setting.
But Shanae's got one more thing to do.
Screw two pieces of wood together.
Nice flat surface.
Okay, so this screw is going to go here.
Keep going.
I guess it'll go through, and then that'll hold that.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'll do.
Let me set that up.
She loves her power drill.
Look, they have t-shirts off the grid.
Okay, so first I'll start it here.
And, oh, there's some nails already in it.
Look how much daylight they've lost so far.
Yeah, it's been like an hour.
Let me get that nail out.
See, I got the nail out.
You got that?
Yeah, I got the nail out.
And then she decides to clip that other nail.
It's not in the way.
But okay, yeah, let's clip that.
And this is my fancy wrist thing.
That's her favorite thing.
Okay, and get that set up.
And now.
And then her lesbian lover is like, good job.
We don't see what happens with it, though.
Was that one for that was fucking no.
Why didn't you start with 1-4?
Because it was at the top of the thing.
I didn't see it.
It was a year ago.
Okay, so that, but actually playing it out of order works because what you just saw her working on was the bass frame.
What?
Go to Home Depot and get a piece of plywood if you're going to build a chicken coop.
Get two.
69 off-grid?
Shanae's determined to build this chicken coop.
Coop.
Coop.
I like kookies.
I want to have a kookie coop where I keep my kookies.
You're eating my kookies, you fucking asshole.
At the scrapyard.
If there's one thing you need when you're building a chicken coop, it's old pipes.
Look at all of these fucking tools.
Oh, yeah.
But her new tools, it's a good use.
I bet that, keep it rolling.
I can talk over it.
Bet that other one that's not talking is one of the most boring people you've ever experienced.
Look, look at her looking away.
I don't want to get any sawdust in my eyes.
Ah, you got your trusty magnet.
There we go.
Sawna.
What the fuck?
What is look?
She's holding onto the screw as she screws it in.
What are you building?
Where do the chickens go?
What?
What is the top part?
What are you doing with that piping?
We're sawing it.
Yeah, that's about right.
Yeah.
Got that all measured up.
And there we go.
And I fished around this.
We never see that completed.
You never see anything completed.
You never will.
Oh, this is funny.
They're making biochar.
Go to 1.6.
So, you know, things grow better in a forest after a forest fire.
If you have ashes from the fire, you throw them in your garden and things grow better.
The earth loves carbon.
But if you don't have any, you can make a fire.
Okay, I guess.
Sure.
But look how they start the fire with a propane tank.
23 off-grid.
We're making biochar.
What are those cinder blocks doing there?
Is that to stop the wind?
That is their fireplace, by the way.
It's like a dozen cinder blocks just sitting there in a little sort of a hill.
Paul Baziel would be ashamed of this.
Yeah, yeah.
So, how do you start a fire?
Do you crumple up some newspaper and then light it with a lighter and get some twigs, some kindling?
No.
You get a World War II propane weapon.
Oh my.
What are you doing?
Women are not men.
I'm sorry, guys.
Yeah, break it up as one does.
Light my weird propane rod.
Fire's going.
I could probably pull it out now.
Yeah.
Turn off the probe.
It's called a fire, ladies.
It's in a giant fire pit.
They dug a hole and then they laid out a dozen cinder blocks.
And now they're burning, they're burning wood so they'll have ash for their garden.
Ideally, you want to put the fire out when it's charcoal still.
That's not letting it to this ash point.
No, they're both fine, honey.
Most of our branches are so small.
That's kind of hard to avoid.
Wow.
When men and women separate, things don't go well.
How long until they inhale poison ivy fumes?
I don't know.
Somebody's got to save them.
Speaking of women, I saw the worst tweet I've ever seen.
This is the worst husband fail.
This is 1-3.
Check out, this is the wrestler that, the MMA guy that fought Jake Paul or Logan Paul, one of those dudes.
I think it was a fixed fight.
He looked way too happy after, but he may have pugilistic dementia because he had the gall to write, I've seen some guys post on social media lately about how they're winning because their wife is attractive.
Well, I don't disagree.
I think finding a wife who's a great mother is 500% more important.
Thanks, babe mammy, for being such a great mom to our kids.
Who cares about being attractive?
You're number one with me.
Beauty's overrated.
Hey, my wife's no movie star, but she's a great mom.
Thanks, honey.
She's not even ugly, too.
Like, you'd expect her to have third-degree burns with that kind of a quote.
Dude, what are you doing?
That looks like an ad for not getting involved in combat sports.
You will get so punch drunk that you will tweet out that attractive isn't important next to a picture of your wife.
You look more in my league now that I'm bashed up, dude.
Thanks, honey.
I know.
This is nothing to shake a stick at, but where do you see the inside?
It's actually beautiful.
And what's inside is actually the opposite of that piece of shit you're seeing standing next to me.
My hideous wife.
God.
Love my hideous wife.
Then after just every post, just fucking AI bots.
Like, what is the point?
What is this?
What is this?
Oh, that's disturbing.
Demonic bullshit.
All righty, look at that.
Why?
Wait, look at the feet.
Weird.
Yeah, it's AI.
Why are you showing this, Ryan?
Why is it posted here?
I don't know.
It's just like, you can't escape from it on Twitter.
It's called a joke.
People are joking around, my friend.
Here's an interesting...
This will separate the baby monsters that watch the show.
We're going to split into, I am with the black people in this video, but I bet a lot of you are with the chick.
Go ahead with 2-1 and tell me, which side are you on, boy?
Which side are you on?
So you're with the blacks.
I'm with the blacks.
So she was putting her seat back and this black woman was pushing it back up again, which I have done.
Recently, I chickened out.
My dad does a thing where he sits in his seat and he puts his knees up and then he pretends to be asleep so they can't get their thing back.
I even saw a thing online you can buy.
It's a little steel clip that goes on the back and it stops them from going back.
The rule is you can put your seat back on an overnight flight if they have their seat back or if there's a kid or a midget behind you.
But on a day flight, a three-hour trip, just like, ah, in coach.
Now, I've fought almost to the death with Anthony Kumia and separately, Greg Gutfeld about this.
They're on this bitch's side, and they put their seat back.
Well, they both fly first class, but back in their coach days, they would lean it back whenever they wanted because it's part of their ticket.
It's part of their room.
No.
I'm sure it's legal, but it is a phobe.
It's like budding in line.
It's just rude.
It's not done.
You're a shitty person if you put your seat back.
The real thing is here, you got to tell your wife not to act like that to people.
Which one?
The guy.
The white guy's got to tell his wife to just not.
You can start confrontations like that.
You know what I mean?
I disagree.
If my wife wants to yell about something she feels strongly about, what am I going to do?
Watch it.
I'm going to pull a crowd.
She's yelling at a grown man.
Watch it.
What's the guy going to do?
Of a certain ilk of person.
No, not a person.
I'm not going to punch her out on a plane.
Are you kidding me?
What do you think Spirit Airlines is founded on?
Yeah, good point.
The violence of air battle.
Good point.
It's just scary because I was doing some policing at the bar the other night.
Good.
The Sullivan's has a real problem with junkies.
That whole area on 34th Street by Penn Station is covered in junkies.
And when the owner is there, he has to constantly tell these pill poppers, whatever the kids are doing these days, the heroin addicts, that they can't use the bathroom.
So I saw the waiter, the bartender, he was trying to say, hey, are you getting a drink?
You getting a drink?
But he had to tend to other people.
So I was like, I'm going to handle the bathroom patrolling.
So I was a bathroom cop.
It was fun.
I wish I was a cop.
So I go in there.
There's a white dude, and he has too many coats.
That's a homeless thing, having four coats.
So I go, hey, buddy, you getting a drink?
He goes, yes, I'm getting a guinea.
Uh-oh, he's got a European accent.
Maybe Europeans do wear a lot of coats.
Maybe that's the thing in Spain.
So then he's taken a while, pissing.
And I think, what are you shooting up in there and doing a bump?
So then I open the door again.
I go, how we doing?
He's like, I'm fine.
The tiny little bathroom that fits like half of a person.
It has two urinals in it and nothing else.
And if two guys are in there, you're touching shoulders.
Yes.
So I'm in his dick when I open the door.
And then he goes to the bar and has a Guinness that he pays for and tips for.
I was wrong.
And then this other guy comes in and he's acting sketchy and he's dressed weird.
He has like a Where's Waldo red and white scarf, a little hat.
He's very tall.
He's like 6'4.
He has nice shoes, which threw me off.
And it should have thrown me off because I was wrong again.
Tall people are never homeless, too.
Yeah, they're never homeless.
That's a good point.
Tall people are never homeless.
They shrivel the longer they're outside.
Why is that?
They shrivel the longer they're outside.
No, repeating it doesn't help.
Tall people are never homeless.
So I say to him, you getting a drink?
And he goes, yeah, he's really nervous.
I go, and I think, oh, you're nervous because you're a fucking junkie and I just caught you.
I'm the new bathroom cop.
And I'm the cart narc.
I'm the urinal narc.
And he goes, yeah, I'm getting a Guinness.
I go, all right.
So he goes in the bathroom.
And then he too seems to be taking quite a long pee.
So I open up the door.
You good?
And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I see that he's walking.
He's going to go out the door.
So I run up and I catch him.
I go, hey, I'm like Larry David.
I go, hey, you said you're getting a Guinness.
He goes, I am.
And he sits down at the very, very end of the bar.
And he goes, look, I'm really nervous.
I'm a huge fan.
I'm a baby monster.
And then he shows me the censored app on his phone.
That's why he was there.
But he chickened out of saying hi.
He's like, this is the weirdest meeting I've ever had.
And then I'm like, oh, do you want a selfie?
And he goes, you hate selfies.
I don't want to do that.
What's I can do since being in your penis?
So my first day as a cop is not going well.
That's 0 for 2.
And then this black couple is sitting and the African black guy looks very black.
So I don't think he's from America.
Maybe they're British.
So they have a drink.
I think it was Guinness Night.
They have a drink.
They pay their tab, right?
And then they're still sitting there.
So I go over and I go, hey guys, my dad owns the bar.
And are you done?
Because people are coming in.
They're seeing the table is occupied and they're leaving.
And it's a busy night.
So, you know, bye-bye.
Tables are money.
And they're like, yeah, we're leaving.
We're leaving.
They go, okay.
Let's wrap it up.
Let's start.
Get ready to get ready to go.
So they left.
I know if this is written about on one of these dumb, lefty blogs like the Daily Beast, they'll be like, Proud Boy's founder tells African Americans to leave his bar.
That's nothing.
What about the time that you forced the Hasidic Jew to change his shoes?
Oh, yeah.
And then his dad came along, and the dad was on your side.
He's like, I told him the same thing.
What was he wearing?
Flip-flops?
Flip-flops with a suit.
Yeah, I went up to him.
I go, we'd been drinking on the plane.
And I was like, nah, you can't wear flip-flops with a suit.
This is right after the yay thing, too.
So it's a hilarious time.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I just come back from interviewing Yay at the airport.
And he's like, I have my shoes.
I have shoes in my bag, but they're very uncomfortable.
And I was like, well, they got to go on.
And then you're standing there for a while.
He says, you want me to put them on?
You're like, yeah.
The other Hasidim showed up because they probably thought it was a Nazi bullying Jews.
And then they go, what's happening here?
What are you doing?
And I go, I'm just telling him, he's got to get shoes on.
Guys, come on.
You got a great suit on.
Got the Fedora the, the Payas, the Gechen, the Schlutkas he knows about the schlutkas and and, and then they were on my side.
They're like yes, what?
What are you doing, harsh?
You're causing troubles with your fashion.
It was very funny uh, all right.
Well, speaking of right-wing gossip, we have a treat for you.
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Sometimes I'm sparring.
I take it.
I don't do a whole scoop.
Some guy, baby monster, bought this and he did two scoops and it severely evacuated his bowels.
There's lots of caffeine in this.
I do a half a tablespoon in a thing half an hour before my workout.
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I start getting the prickles in my hands.
If I don't work out, I'm kind of edgy for the rest of the day and the prickles don't go away.
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And I do, I have noticed some muscle retention after that.
The pump lasts longer.
And I was looking in the mirror masturbating the other day and just kidding.
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Yeah, it's pretty handy, dudes, when you don't feel like, and there's something about boxing, when you don't feel like going to the gym, you're going to be punched in the head.
So it's like, I don't want to go somewhere.
And then you get to that place and someone's fighting you.
So you really don't feel like going.
If you're just going to like sit on an exercise bike, you're like, it's not that bad.
But when I take this, I'm cheating.
And I fought John the cop the other day on Purple Works Nutrition.
He couldn't get me.
He couldn't find me.
Whoosh, whoosh.
He goes, you can bend your knees like that?
Oh, by the way, speaking of John the cop, we saw a mouse in here.
We bought the trap, got the bucket.
We put it right where we saw the mouse.
Nothing.
It's got water at the bottom, so they drown a peaceful death.
And then I thought, well, I'll put it in the main studio where the cameras are, so at least we can see him go up the stairs.
So John goes, I was an exterminator.
What do you got there?
And he goes, and I go, we haven't caught anything yet.
And he goes, yeah, because you don't got enough fucking peanut butter.
Trust me.
I used to be, I got my license.
I was an exterminator.
Trust me.
Where's the peanut butter?
So I give it to him.
He does this.
I go, John, this looks like PETA is mad at me.
And they broke into our studio and vandalized our mouse trap.
You put peanut butter on every stair, and then you're supposed to put it at the very tippy top here where the nose is on the ceiling.
So they walk out on that and then they fall in.
He's got about a year's supply of peanut butter for a whole family of mice before they even get to the top.
Yeah, but in a year, you're going to catch a lot of mice.
They might die of being overfed.
They might die obedience.
And I wanted to bring this home because my wife saw a mouse in the basement at home.
I can't put this in the car.
Like, what have you done, dude?
Add some jelly and put it between two pieces of bread.
Dude, a mouse couldn't get up those stairs.
He'd be stuck.
He'd have to eat his way up the stairs, at which point he's stuffed and he's probably made, probably got married and made like a bunch of kids.
And then he's got all that shitpile of peanut butter at the top.
They're just going to circle around it and worship it like that cube that Islamists pray to.
You're like, this is the coolest.
New York City cops, as the stroke said.
New York City cops.
All right.
I've been waiting to get to this.
I want to shit on Seth Rogan.
I want to talk about our retarded president.
But I also would be remiss if I didn't examine the incredibly daunting tsunami of gossip that is going on on the right now.
I worked all day on a chart.
I'm going to lay it out for you.
This is the hot topic here on the conservative right.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
There's a lot of gossip going down.
Big news.
I've never seen this much gossip on the right.
Big news.
The economy's shit.
So maybe people are getting fired and they're getting bitchy.
If that's the case, the economy is going to get a lot worse thanks to old Uncle Joe.
So we're going to see a lot more gossip.
But look at this chart I put together.
By the way, Photoshop, the new Photoshop is awesome and it knows what layer you're on when you go near the thing.
Anyway, Crowder seems to be the big one.
So let's just dive right into it.
Let's spill the tea.
I'm Scottish.
I love gossip.
In Scotland, when you say, how you doing?
And people go, nosy as ever.
So when you're gossiping, it means you're healthy.
These are the two hot spots, Crowder.
There's a little bit of action going on over here.
We'll get to that.
But yesterday we were talking about the Crowder divorce and the tape that came out of what I hope is the very worst he's ever been.
I mean, we've all had terrible moments with our wives.
So just for the sake of optimism, I'm hoping that they just showed him at his very, very worst because it was really, really bad.
But this seems to be where the most action is right now.
And there's a lot of action.
Front page, New York Post online.
So let's zoom in on Crowder for now.
You'll notice I did arrows like where the gossip is going.
Quarter Black Garrett left Steven Crowder a long time ago.
I didn't put any arrows there because he left amicably.
He never said anything bad about Crowder, but I think he just hated working for the guy.
And he was like, fuck this, I'm done.
Owen Benjamin is a completely different story.
And the reason I have the arrow going here is if you check out his social media, which I think I sent you, Ryan, he's just going mental.
Like, Milo is going mental on Allie.
Oh, boy.
And Eminem Black.
Oh, boy.
And Owen is going mental on Steven Crowder.
What's this now?
Oh, yeah.
So Owen's talking about how Owen doesn't like his gayness, Steven's alleged gayness.
So he's going back over his time with Crowder, going, He used to make me wear dresses and shit.
I always thought that was weird.
I like Owen Benjamin, by the way.
I don't speak to him anymore because he spilled the beans about my FBI prank.
But I regret calling him crazy.
I read his stuff.
I mean, he believes in flat earth and shit, but most of his message is pretty good.
Defending Islam?
Okay, that's a bit rich.
But if you're a commentator, you should be freaking people out.
I don't like this Dave Rubin milquetoast boringness.
Anyway, that's a tangent.
So Owen used to work for Crowder, well paid, wrote a lot of his stuff, and then he was just persona non-grata overnight.
And Owen fucking hates him now.
Hates his guts.
So he's go back to the chart for a second, Ryan.
If you zoom in on these names, I've put a little pink dot next to every name that is rumored to be gay, not necessarily gay.
There's a lot of pink dots on this chart.
If you zoom out, there's pink dots.
Ali Alexander and Milo, they're reformed gays, but that's still rumored to be gay.
There's Jesse Lee Peterson accused of grooming grown men, which I don't give a shit about.
There's Crowder.
There's not gay Jared, who actually isn't gay.
Nick Fuentes has been accused of homosexuality.
And Elijah Schaefer has been accused of homosexuality.
Now, I hate that shit.
I hate that the right gives itself this Achilles heel where the whole person falls apart if they're discovered to be a homo.
I've been living in the city since 1988.
I've been surrounded by homos.
I don't care if you're gay.
The right has to get over this.
Like, if that guy's gay, well, then everything he says is shit.
Like, if Nick ends up marrying John Doyle, I still like everything they said.
They still had a lot of valid shit to say.
So stop making, stop having this like eject button next to someone's name.
Jesse Lee Peterson allegedly groomed 40 old men.
No, I don't know if he did or not, but if those allegations are true, I don't care.
I care if you fuck with fucking kids, obviously.
That's pedophilia, which is what Milo's accusing Ali Alexander of.
But anyway, let's get back to this one.
So thank you.
We try to move.
What are you doing?
You're trying to put that next to me?
That's why I'm so quick to say it's not a big deal if you're gay.
Some great guys are in the closet.
Wow, is it hot in here?
And as the guy you'd most likely be fucking, I also detest that theory.
What?
You've been accused of gayness?
No, no, no.
I mean, if you're likely to be fucking somebody, it would be me.
Oh, yeah.
So you'd be gay too.
All right, let's zoom in here back here.
So the gossip here is quarter black Garrett hated working there, but he hasn't said any bad shit, and he's on his own.
Dave Lando, on the other hand, did that video we talked about where he spoke to Michael Malice for like an hour.
Oh boy!
Oh, but all the shit that Steven Crowder would make him do if he was five minutes late, he was sent home.
There was a light that came on that told him to shut up.
So that was juicy there, and that's why he quit.
Not gay Jared had a similar story than Dave, but he never made it public.
So he just sat there and complained.
I heard a rumor that Not Gay Jared went to work at the Blaze.
Every Blaze person gets a little Blaze logo.
Went to work for the Blaze during their comedy stuff, and Crowder said, no.
And if you do hire him, I won't do my show anymore.
So, you know, that was a big part of their income.
So they went, oh, okay.
That's the rumor I heard.
And then we have the obvious one here with Jeremy Boring, where he offered him $50 million.
And Crowder said it was slavery.
Great theory last night from our trooper, Dick Man, who said maybe he said no because he's going through a divorce and he didn't want income.
So he'd rather have minimum wage until the divorce is finalized so she doesn't get half of that.
That's one of the best theories I ever heard.
So he's doing social media now and stuff.
He's doing great.
Candace Owens has beef with Crowder.
She's allegedly the one who spilt the beans about his divorce and made it public.
So he's pissed off about that.
What did you show?
I sent you a bunch of notes.
What did you just show, Ryan?
Was that Not Gay Jared?
To Hillary Crowder, to Hillary Crowder, who was like a sister to me.
I love you and I am here for you.
That's the most he, I think he has a bunch of NDAs that he had to sign.
Then there was, remember this weird feud where Candace said Nicole Arbor walked off her set?
I sent the links for those where Nicole Arbor explains everything.
This feud is fucking confusing.
At least with guy gossip, you get the whole truth.
Okay, go ahead.
Oh, I had to actually calm myself down before doing this live because one of the things that I hate beyond anything else is censorship.
I think it's just dishonest when people edit things and try to tell you what happened versus didn't happen.
And when I signed on to work for the Daily Wire, obviously Jeremy Boring is a CEO.
He knows exactly who I am, what I am, and that I'm very honest with my fans about, you know, my process of growth and things that aren't even.
And I have never seen that.
The other video I sent you from Nicole.
So the story, Candace's story is Nicole lies and says she's stalked and it's these great guys.
And then I brought it up and she stormed off my show.
Nicole's version of events, and you can zoom out so people can see the name of this thing.
She said, no, that's not what happened.
These guys are psychotic stalkers.
And Candace put it on the air.
So then Jeremy told me to pretend I stormed out.
And that was the way they wouldn't include the shit about my stalkers.
I don't know which person is lying.
That's the beauty of gossip.
You just accrue details.
I think Nicole's done.
I haven't seen her do anything since this feud.
See, feuds are tense and people get stressed out.
And I've noticed with chicks, they tend to just sort of peace out.
I've been through 8 billion of these.
And it's just like, it's two weeks of chaos, and then it vanishes.
So, Ryan, I haven't been asking you for links.
I've just been talking about this.
Have I missed anything with like pictures of any of the crowder stuff?
Some more Benjamin tweets.
Oh, yeah, a lot of Benjamin tweets.
Like, when I show you an arrow and a big head here, I mean, and you can pause that and read it on your own.
I mean, there is like an onslaught.
Like, if you go to Owen Benjamin's, when he gets in a crowder mood, there'll be like 50 of just like, he's, what does he say?
What's that last one?
The divorce one.
Crowder is clearly getting divorced with two small children to own the left.
Don't worry, Patriots.
He will have a dress and high heels on, ASAP, to really stick it to the Democrats.
And he will have a brand new Jesus merch to virtue signal that you're the good guys.
I mean, you could knock Crowder's rampant hawking of goods.
The guy makes some serious income.
All right.
So we don't have to go through every Owen Benjamin tweet.
Just suffice to say that this is going.
And then Candace is attacking Crowder, bringing up the divorce.
And then here's one I didn't know until recently.
Let's do Milo now.
Milo, you might as well just draw arrows everywhere.
Like, there's even an arrow going from Milo to Ethan Ralph.
Oh, boy.
He was calling him ugly the other day, saying he's glad he's going blind so you want to look like ugly dudes like that.
Big new.
I just found out that Milo accused Candace's husband of being gay.
What a weird accusation, huh?
How would you know that?
And why would you care?
Anyway, zoom in on Milo for a sec.
Milo and Crowder inspired this whole segment because they are just the fucking onslaught going on here.
The accusation is that Allie solicited dick pics from guys.
And Milo's contention is he used his authority as a Milo friend to get the dick pics.
So he's like, hey, man, send me dick pics and I'll hire you and you can work with me.
And then I'll get you in touch with Milo.
But I'm going to need to see some dick.
And that Milo, he said the kids were as young as 15.
That's not good, but I focus my attention on like pedophiles, you know, who deal with kid kids.
Gays and gay teens.
It's not high on my priority list.
Sort of like Jesse's allegations, right?
But his telegram, pull up some of the shit, Ryan.
He just goes on and on.
Like there was a while there where you didn't see anything.
Oh, here he is attacking Crowder.
Did I include that arrow?
I don't even know if I did.
Mrs. Crowder finally got sick of the trainy hookers, eh?
Even those donor daddy IVF babies didn't quell the rage.
Yikes.
Take it for everything, girl.
It doesn't have an arrow.
It doesn't have an arrow.
Just assume that every person here Milo has had a feud with.
Guaranteed.
There he is calling Ali Alexander Krampus.
You can pause those later if you want to read them all.
That's a continuation of that.
Yep, more stuff.
Oh, wait, Big Tech just, oh, she's coming after Nick Fuentes.
That's another one.
Big Tech just offered Nick a hand in fraternity in a fraternity worth 1,000 compliant minions.
Clueless, narcissistic, and arrogant, Nick slapped it away.
This is how men of good character end up leaving him and the movement.
He has decided to remain a child with a child's understanding of the adult world, a child's temp tantrum, and a child's impotence.
Lashing out.
There he is saying he'd rather be blind than have to look at Ethan Ralph.
I'm sure some of you are saying, I don't know who any of these people are.
Well, then you're not in the scene, dude.
Ye 24, this is the concept of formerly known as Kanye West running for president, appears to exist solely in Alexander Akbar's head for the purpose of attracting teens, assisted by Nick Fuentes, who dutifully insists everything is just fine and that Ye will appear any second now to confirm, just you wait.
Fuentes might be ashamed to admit he got rejected and ghosted by his idol, but his prideful and embarrassed insistence that Ye is still running for president shows only to provide Allie with more victims, quite the alliance.
So now Milo is so convinced that Allie is soliciting dick pics that anyone who doesn't hate Allie has to die.
Like once Milo gets his hooks in, remember one time I was having lunch with him in D.C. and some chick poured water on us.
I threw a beer in her face, by the way, and she started screaming.
Milo got the credit card receipt that was still sitting on the table, found her name, terrorized her entire family, destroyed her life, discovered that she was doing porn, like OnlyFans type of stuff, sent that to her grandfather.
And like, this guy, when he gets going, I think it's a gay thing.
Gays on Adderall.
They really.
I love Milo, by the way.
That's one thing I want to get to: I'm all about unity on the right.
The left has too much unity.
They take in pedophiles and say, oh, well, he was having, he was horny.
But we, we will turn on each other for the dumbest things.
And the left loves it because we have no cohesion.
So I know pretty much every person on this page.
I've hung out with them all.
Well, I haven't hung out with her or him.
But everyone else I've had beers with, great guys.
Solid people.
Awesome.
Fun.
Cool.
Oh, Jeremy Boring.
I don't know him.
Okay, so zoom back onto Milo.
And you could watch that episode where he goes in detail about her on censored.tv.
Yep.
Everyone gets a censored logo who was associated with censored or who had a show.
So Alex Jones blocked Milo because Milo kept giving Alex shit for not hating Allie enough.
So that's, they're done.
And then Jacob Wall, Jacob Wall said Milo owes him money, and he started nagging him about the money he owed him.
And then Milo went fucking ape shit on Jacob.
He told me to fire Jacob.
Oh, boy.
He's still going nuts on Laura Loomer, saying that she grooms her interns.
And I'm like, can we stop saying adults having sex is some sort of sexual evilness?
I don't care if Laura fucked an intern.
Like, he was 18, 20, 30.
I don't know how old he was.
But he still will post horrible pictures of her and, you know, insult her by drawing an association.
So Milo hates pretty much everyone on the right more than most liberals.
Now, if we scroll down to this, are there any assets, the Jesse Lee Peterson thing, I think?
Just so you know, I'm not making this shit up.
Also, yeah, we skipped a couple of these.
Yeah, yeah, I skipped that on purpose.
They can pause it if they care.
We got that he hates Nick.
Let's see.
And then if you go to the email rhyme with all the links, I think there's some stuff there.
Jesse Lee Peterson being accused of whatever.
Gay rumors, JLP.
Here we go.
He groomed a 40-year-old.
Allegations of Manosphere Pastor's gay past royal macho men.
Not me.
Anyway, this one is a really weird one here.
Oh, by the way, there's some I didn't include.
Zoom out again.
Here's a weird one.
Isabella Reilly's husband has been accused of sending dick pics to Elijah as a job application.
And they say that's how he became Elijah's producer.
He's not anymore.
I think he's fired from the Blaze.
But I didn't include that.
It's just a rumor, whatever.
And he's not known, so it's not a right-wing feud.
But this one is crazy.
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