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March 19, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:11:41

GOML S4E229 - AMERICAN LEPRECHAUNS

Back from the St. Patrick's Day parade, we discuss bad marching bands, the lack of rapes, and Dylan Mulvaney's total inability to act female. Then, it's a deep dive on the ten most hateful people in America and how awesome they actually are. Finally, we try not to cry when a cancer-free dad takes his son to a Canucks game.

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	BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McKinnock!
	BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG The soldier rose, but on his clothes he said "Pare out my dear" On the drums they'll loudly be here, and the voice they'll swing and play The word for that, "Holly me dear, with you I'll gladly stay" And the drums are going around and the tongue of the voice they loudly play "Fair the world, holly me dear, I must be gone away"
	If anyone comes to court here, you can treat them to a glass If anyone comes to court here, Boy, they're the gift that keeps on giving, aren't they?
	And I played this joke That you got your nail sentry pops Right up and the soldiers go And the drums are going And the rest of the time And I'm by still out of his way Farewell, holy me dear, I must be on a way I must be on me way Boy, they're the gift that keeps on giving, aren't they?
	The pogies, the pokesers, That's Gentleman Soldier.
	We don't know who wrote that.
	It's so old.
	It goes back to the early 1900s.
	The Pogues covered it.
	You'd think that all the Pogue songs are old Irish classics, but Shane wrote a fuckton of them.
	That's a great song about a woman who is porked by a soldier in a sentry box.
	That's the sort of box that you... I think it's like where the beefeaters... No, no.
	Where the guys stand to guard the barracks.
	And she shagged him.
	She got pregnant.
	And he's not going to marry her because though two wives are allowed in the army, one is too many for me.
	So that poor kid is a bastard son.
	What do you think of that, Ryan?
	Sad, but relatable.
	You know, you would have had trouble relating today.
	I was at the St.
	Patrick's Day parade.
	I can't relate to that.
	Well, the problem is it's like the Puerto Rican Day parade, but we have no rapes at our parades.
	I think, I would argue that all of the St.
	Patrick's Day festivities are worse than, they call it the green tornado in certain, they're like, you got the green tornado tonight?
	Oh, so having some barf on the street is worse than rape?
	The cop, ask cops about it.
	It may be in Boston.
	I heard, I heard recently that they're like, please do not put me on fucking detail tonight.
	It's terrible.
	What's with this dent?
	Yeah.
	And I love Italians, but if I had to pick between Irish and Italians, it's Irish all the way.
	I don't know why.
	I think I've worked for more Irish people, and they've been sweeter to me.
	You're working for one right now.
	Oh yeah, that's right.
	I consider you Scottish, though.
	Well, my dad, our name was McGinnis, because my dad's family is Irish.
	So I'm half Scottish, half Irish, born in England.
	I think you sort of identify, though, with your formative years.
	I feel a strong kinship with Canada.
	And with America, I've been here, I think, most of my life now.
	But I'm still not quite American.
	Like my son is waiting to see if he's on junior varsity, or varsity would be ideal, or freshman would suck.
	And I'm like, what is varsity?
	And she's like, what?
	And I go, it's a baseball team.
	It's a high school baseball team.
	Yes.
	And he's young though, right?
	He's not even in high school.
	Right, but he's very good, so he could be called up.
	Oh, I see.
	I'm like, oh, okay.
	Well, I'm just learning that now, too.
	But is it freshmen in it?
	She goes, no, most high school teams are juniors and seniors.
	And I'm like, so junior is not the first year of high school?
	No, that's freshmen, then sophomore.
	Oh, you didn't know that?
	I didn't know that.
	Oh, wow.
	Freshmen, we don't have that in Canada.
	What are they called, first yearsmen?
	You're in grade 10, eh?
	Grade 10.
	Grade 9.
	Actually, I can't even remember high school.
	Yeah, I think it starts in grade 9.
	Grade 9, grade 10, grade 11, grade 12, grade 13.
	13?
	Yep.
	Oh, wow.
	Yeah, we just have 9 and 12.
	I skipped them, though.
	I did summer school.
	It was called the Fast Tracker program.
	Got out of there.
	The lucky boys.
	So I don't know what I am, but I know I'm at least, I know there's Irish in there, I can feel it every time I have a fork and drink fork.
	I have a terrible memory, but I remember working at Rambler's Rest on 208 in Monroe, and I went in there and Brita, they're all from Ireland, Irish, and it was St.
	Paddy's Day, so I had to wear a green shirt, and she's like, you look good in green.
	And I was like, Thanks.
	Did she try to rape you?
	No, she was like old but just sweet.
	And then later on the guy, the real tough guy, Oliver, who didn't listen to music, he had a Porsche, he had a Rolex, he was a badass.
	Always wore a suit.
	I didn't know it was cool not to listen to music.
	That's how like business guy he is.
	He's like, he has no time for any bullshit.
	No bullshit.
	Can it be on in the background?
	Like what about when you're driving?
	What are you listening to?
	He said nothing.
	Self-help tapes?
	What's on in the car?
	People being murdered on cassette?
	Yeah.
	Him, he's just a guy that doesn't listen to music so he's a very intense guy and after a really tough day he was like, he did good today, good lad.
	And I was like, I'm a good lad.
	Nice.
	That feels good.
	If you want some more compliments from an Irishman, I gotta say, I felt kind of gay towards you recently.
	I make fun of you for saying you can play guitar better than Hendrix, but that video I saw of you jamming out, I was like, this guy's fucking insanely good and I can see why women find him attractive.
	Dude, thank you.
	Like you were shredding.
	Actually, we have the video here.
	1-1.
	I was pulling up one of my own.
	It's the first video.
	Okay.
	Look at the way he just sort of becomes the guitar.
	He gets so into it.
	It's like he gnarls himself up and becomes the instrument.
	All right, cool.
	Let's see what clip you picked, because I got a couple I could show you afterwards.
	Well, this, I think, is the best one.
	Oh.
	What song is this you're playing?
	It's good, man.
	Oh, nice!
	And back to shredding!
	Why do you, uh, do... Is that, like, your guitar chair?
	Oh, kind of surf rock.
	Anyway, that was pretty cool.
	Uh, let's show some of the clips from today, because I have a new fear.
	My new fear is that high school bands are starting to suck.
	Here's what I learned from St.
	Patrick's Day Parade.
	White culture is awesome.
	There's no rapes.
	There's rumors of barf.
	I didn't see any barf.
	Just proud people being very well organized and decent.
	You think of the chaos that is like the Trinidad and Tobago, the Caribbean Day Parade.
	It's just rape and violence and death and chaos.
	And then you think of the Puerto Rican Day Parade.
	More rape, more chaos.
	And then the fucking St.
	Patrick's Day parade, just single file.
	Other groups want to be in it?
	Well, you gotta wait.
	And then they come in, and it's all very well organized, perfect, regimented.
	But I will say, I don't know who's in charge of that shit, but guys, maybe slow down on the invites.
	Like at one point there was some bank, UCE Bank, and they just get little sashes and they get to be in it.
	I was telling my family, I'm like, don't wave to them.
	You only wave to people who have costumes on, uniforms, bagpipes, like are part of a parade.
	You don't just get to fucking show up in a sweater.
	Hi, I live in Breezy Point.
	That's nice, fuck you.
	By the way, I don't know if I ever told you guys the truth about Breezy Point.
	Remember I did a week of shows from Breezy?
	I was in my house.
	I didn't get into breezy point they you need it's a cop town and it's all there's white people Trump people it's and it's in Queens it's at the bottom of the Brooklyn really it's on the beach it is a beach and I got in there because all the cops love me but the board rejected my application after I had given all my money 14 grand to rent a house for a month and they said we can't afford the risk of You know, blowing up our spot.
	So fuck you.
	You're done.
	So to punish them, I bought a bunch of breezy gear and I pretended I was there to ruin their reputation.
	So I hate breezy point, even though it's one of the best places in the world.
	So I was giving them the finger.
	But anyway, a lot of people just regular Joes.
	And then I was listening to some of the bands and I'm like, I never said this before, but you suck.
	You're not good.
	The drums weren't synced.
	And then it was, when it was time for the horns, whether it was like fucking Star Spangled Banner or whatever, some, you know, band song, Louis Louis, it could have been, I couldn't hear the horns and they were off sync.
	And I started thinking, and this is just a theory folks, I started thinking, is it possible that high school bands are starting to suck because we don't have discipline?
	Like, remember that movie about the drummer?
	And it was the guy from the Allstate ads?
	And his fingers were bleeding and he had to keep playing and it was like all this discipline.
	I mean, it takes a lot of discipline to be really good at sports, being in a band, being a chef.
	You need to abuse those people in those groups.
	But you're not allowed to do it anymore.
	And now they suck.
	Maybe.
	There was a lot and I've I heard like my wife sent me a video of one of our kids his school band he's only 10 at the time but they were doing something simple like jingle bells and I'm listening to going not good like you shouldn't have you shouldn't have showed the parents this you should be embarrassed look Proud Boys oh yeah they had their own battalion Lots of people from Westchester.
	I recognize Terry, our buddy.
	I used to call him Matty as a retard.
	Just kidding, Terry.
	He was carrying some big IRA flag.
	But there was Pelham representing, Mount Vernon representing, Bronx, Yonkers.
	You know my grandmother would get so mad at these.
	Because she hates when Irish wear kilts.
	That's not their culture!
	There is Irish... A kilt is for a Scotch.
	When you see these Irish walking around, they're like the pigs of Doggerty.
	Fuck, she hated the Irish.
	That's why she was so mad my mom married my dad.
	Irish scum.
	Show the videos.
	I already showed that one.
	So there's a lot of stoppage because they over invited everyone.
	So you got all these guys waiting for that's the Fifth Avenue is the linear part, right?
	But then to get into Fifth Avenue, you don't want to start at the bottom.
	You start on like 42nd Street, 43rd, 44th, 45th, 46th and you merge.
	But in order to merge, we need to open up a gap.
	So there's all these people waiting on the east-west streets for access to the main parade on 5th Avenue, which it starts at 11 a.m.
	on 42nd, ends up in Harlem, but it was just constantly stop and go.
	So even if you show up late, which I did, I think we were there at like one, three hours after it started, there's still more in parade than you need.
	Like after we watched the parade for like an hour, I'm like, all right, I think we got it.
	Bunch of bagpipes.
	Show the videos!
	What are you doing, dude?
	Those were the cool Scotsmen.
	That's how real Scotsmen dressed.
	I think the Irish wear green kilts.
	It's sort of like, can we try to be your thing?
	Okay, I guess.
	Well, the kilts were adopted by the British Army.
	And I think probably spread to Ireland, too.
	Wow, thanks for your history lesson, guy-making-shit-up-as-he-goes.
	No, do you know what type it was?
	That's the Black Watch tartan.
	That's why it's so controversial.
	Because people say it's like a bastardized tartan that's not really Scottish.
	Right.
	But then some people say, no, no, no, it's legit.
	No, it's not.
	Look at these guys rocking out.
	See, this is the old day, and it was funny seeing Gen X and Boomers doing their bands, because they were so much better.
	Now, obviously, they've been playing their instruments longer.
	But look at these guys!
	I'm not clapping for you.
	Why?
	You're just guys!
	Like at least be all wearing the same thing or something.
	What are you in a parade for?
	Cause you have a cable knit sweater?
	My wife was like, I love your sweater!
	That was my outfit.
	Like that guy's fucking, is that a considered a mustache?
	He's really pushing the boundaries of what a mustache is.
	There was some great facial hair at this thing.
	And again, zero rapes.
	Wait, do I know that guy?
	That looks like Tim Sullivan.
	Not even kidding.
	Does that say, what county in New York?
	I don't know, I can't really read it.
	Is that fuckin' a guy I know?
	Is that Orange County, New York?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's fuckin' Tim Sullivan.
	That's my buddy's dad.
	He passed away.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	He passed away?
	His son passed away.
	Oh, okay.
	Tragically, and he's a fuckin' awesome guy.
	Is that the guy you have a tattoo of?
	No, no, no, that's my friend Larry.
	My friend Tim passed away because he had heart problems for all these years and beat him for years and years and years.
	Oh, I remember that guy.
	You were talking about that guy.
	That's crazy.
	I was worried you were saying he died, because I took this picture about four hours ago.
	And you have, like, literally a lone picture of just him.
	Well, it was his stash.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Wow, I gotta tell him.
	He would love that.
	I think he'd be a fan of yours.
	See, that's how you wear Scottish gear.
	God bless America.
	See, now I'm clapping for this.
	You got a song together, you're all synchronized, the drums are on point, your outfits look great.
	Yeah, the AOH that he works for is like a bunch of punk shows and rock shows and a bunch of other shows.
	Okay.
	They rock and roll.
	This is a, that's Terry in the, in the far, far left.
	Big Celtics fan.
	He looks just like Matty.
	Oh wow.
	He doesn't drink anymore, but when he drank, he was a problem.
	Um, but that's a big like IRA founder.
	What's his name now?
	Matty texted me.
	Uh, He looks like a slightly melted Matty.
	Sean McDearmata.
	I kept yelling his name.
	He didn't look around for about a minute.
	Oh yeah, this was annoying too.
	Speaking of wokeism ruining everything, that's the Boy Scouts.
	Look at the far left there.
	That's a big ugly chick.
	What a schlumpy group of nobodies.
	Well, it was all spazzes.
	It was all like autistic dudes.
	That's all that's left since the women ruined the Boy Scouts.
	That dude in the red there with the RCMP hat, he's like, you could tell he was a real deal scout, probably an Eagle Scout in the 70s.
	And he's probably been, you know, helping boys become men for decades.
	And now look at that pathetic turnout.
	And that dude with the flag, I don't know, I waved to him and he's like, hello!
	He seemed a little... What do they call that show, Dating on the Spectrum on Netflix?
	He seemed a little special.
	So, way to go, ladies!
	You ruined the Boy Scouts, thank you for that.
	Alright, I guess we're getting the idea, right?
	Is that all the vids?
	The boys are having downs.
	That guy knew the people we were with.
	I'm gonna bring back spats.
	Nice spats.
	Is that the MacDonald Tartan?
	Don't get your joke.
	I think it literally is the MacDonald Tartan.
	Oh, okay.
	Alright, should we end this?
	Are we showing everyone what's going on?
	Fuck you, bitches.
	These are probably the same bitches that cancelled my application.
	Oh, yeah, they look angry.
	Yeah.
	Look at that one on the left.
	Meanwhile, he's looking for you.
	That same summer, someone vandalized one of the pews, one of the beach resorts with swastikas and talked with the Jew owners.
	There is a Jewish country club down there.
	Everything's affordable, of course.
	And Cuomo was so mad about it because he thought it was Proud Boys.
	He probably heard that I was trying to apply there.
	And he was like, yes, let's get the Proud Boys doing their swastika shit.
	Of course it turned out to be a black chick.
	Who was pissed?
	Go back.
	We went to St.
	Patrick's Cathedral where our own Eddie, the cop, the guy who was wearing the bud hat here on one of the cops and robbers shows, He guards St.
	Patrick's Cathedral.
	He's working in the basement, so I couldn't see him when we were there.
	Look how fucking beautiful it is.
	Here's something racist.
	Have you noticed the whiter the religion, the nicer the church?
	We know St.
	Patrick, of course, is the guy who went to Ireland and stopped all the pagans from being mud-eating pigs and taught them real civilization.
	I think he even got rid of some snakes, too, while he was there.
	Okay, we're gonna make Jesus's birthday your Sun God day, and you can keep Halloween.
	You can worship a tree at Christmas too, that's fine.
	But otherwise, you gotta be Christian now.
	Okay.
	Thanks for getting us out of the Dark Ages.
	I think it was the year 400 or so that St.
	Patrick invaded Ireland and successfully converted them.
	It didn't work so well in North America with the Indians.
	That took a few more hundred years to do.
	Oh, looking up some stats on arrests here for the various parades.
	You know what's crazy about Eddie though?
	The guy with the butt hat?
	I showed him to John last night, John the cop who comes in.
	He goes, I know Eddie, I used to jump off his shoulders into the pool.
	And I go, Eddie, one of the cops we have here, another Bronx cop, used to jump off your shoulders.
	And he's like, yep, true story.
	Damn.
	Isn't that weird?
	Um, so.
	In Rochester, there were 20 arrests at the Puerto Rican Day Festival.
	That was... And Rochester, New York is like 10 minutes from Canada.
	That's how rural we are.
	So now let's go to New York City, but this is in 2007.
	208 people arrested at the Puerto Rican Day Parade after reports that Latin gang, Latin kings planned to join the parade.
	Several arrests had simply been swept up with the crowd, denied having any gang associates.
	So they were kind of just grabbing them just in case they were Oh yeah, remember we had that political, that municipal politician under de Blasio who brought on a Puerto Rican terrorist who had killed people.
	He just got out of jail.
	He was a Puerto Rican separatist.
	He just got out of jail and he was in a parade with the cops.
	Hi!
	I've killed people hi that's not cool no it's not so look there's a bunch of out of the 200 or whatever arrested there's a bunch of gang members so yeah that's that's a lot but I there were 308 at the st.
	Patrick's Day parade this is last year so 2008 208 Last year, 381 people arrested for DWI, 754 tickets.
	Yeah, Ryan, what other scoops do you have?
	Is water wet?
	I'm just saying.
	Is the sky blue?
	The claim that it's a less rowdy parade, I think, is inaccurate.
	Who said?
	Wait, I thought you were just showing me Puerto Rican Day parade things.
	No.
	The second one was St.
	Paddy's.
	Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
	So what was that again?
	Uh, the St.
	Paddy's beats out Puerto Rican Day Parade by arrests and tickets.
	Last year.
	If you look for last year Puerto Rican Day Parade, there's none, there's no arrests.
	I had to go back to 2007, where there was a possible gang Latin Kings thing, so they just arrested people thinking that they could have- Well, maybe that's because they basically shut it down, because it was so fucking dangerous, and now it's a mere shadow of what it once was.
	And the St.
	Patrick's Day Parade is monstrous.
	So by the sheer number of people involved, yeah, you're gonna get more arrests, but per capita, the Puerto Rican Day Parade is a fucking nightmare.
	Almost as bad as the Caribbean Day Parade.
	And again, talk to cops.
	By the way, my kid wanted to go to the MLB store over by Radio City Music Hall, but we had to cross Fifth Avenue.
	Fuck, we can't cross Fifth Avenue, it's a parade.
	And I thought, I'll just ask this cop.
	I go, hey, can I, is it ever possible to cross?
	And he goes, Oh, yeah, only because I recognize you.
	Come on.
	Police escort.
	Cool.
	Across the fucking parade.
	My wife took a picture of that, too.
	Just so you know, I'm not lying.
	Uh, we're all nervous at the McInnes household because, um...
	Have you seen a drop?
	Because the baseball got that cop pick.
	I feel like there is a drop in the pride in being Irish generationally.
	Whereas blacks and Puerto Ricans, the pride couldn't be stronger in modern day.
	But the generational pride has kind of withered through younger folks.
	All right, let's not talk about this anymore.
	It's getting boring.
	The Chicago Cubs have a mascot who has a beautiful cock.
	And I appreciate this.
	A lot of our more conservative viewers are probably like, oh, fuck that.
	That's gross.
	I don't want to see, I don't want kids exposed to genitalia.
	Genitalia is a perfectly natural part of a human being.
	And if you have a problem with that, you have a problem with the human body.
	If you have a problem with the human body, you have a problem with what God created.
	So I have no problem with nudity and I'd like to see it on mascots.
	Mascots the Chicago Cubs they introduced their new mascot their first ever mascot Clark the bear Described as a young friendly cub who can't wait to interact with the kids also worth noting.
	Oh my pants I think that is a gag photo if we can switch to the next one.
	He also fun now This is before I worked for you.
	Oh Who did that?
	Whoever did that is fired and awesome at the same time.
	I'm not gonna stand here and let you badmouth the cock of the Cubs.
	It's a nice cock, too.
	Who knew baby bears have such gorgeous dicks?
	I think he shaves, because there's a little stubble.
	Yeah, he shaves.
	Jump Medic is a great company specializing in first aid kits and first aid supplies.
	They have a few different products, but I'd like to focus on the Jump Medic Pro.
	Now, here, there's an emergency going on.
	Someone's been hurt, right?
	I gotta get to all of my stuff in here quickly.
	Look at this, we got the flashlight on the outside, we got the letter on the outside.
	So all you do in your emergency situation is grab it, pull it open, and boom.
	Chillo, you've got a stuff.
	Chillo, you've got a stuff.
	Look how easy that is to access every single thing in the bag.
	The Jump Medic Pro contains two world-class first aid bags.
	The larger flat lay, this is what we got here, the larger one.
	First aid bag comes stocked with nine pounds of first aid equipment.
	It's got bandages, sutures, medications, a flashlight, medical tape, blood pressure cuff.
	A glucose meter, shears, and much more.
	You really have to go to their website to see the list of everything this kit comes with.
	It also comes with a smaller bag, which is just as durable, with the same flat lay design.
	You should have the smaller bag in your car.
	You should have this in your house.
	And if you're going hunting, you should definitely have both available.
	If you're going to a riot, you're gonna need it too.
	The smaller bag is perfect to fill up with supplies to take when you're out hunting, biking, roller skating, doing taxidermy, doing parkour, rollerblading, wakeboarding, hitchhiking, attending a model train convention, or anything else to put you at risk while you're on the go.
	People send me emails, can JumpMedic do this or that?
	Don't send me emails about these products.
	Yes, JumpMedic can probably include whatever you want.
	Actually, we got an interesting email about JumpMedic where someone was like, hey man, has it got Narcan and does it have the thing that you use to puncture the throat to breathe out of that?
	And I talked to them and they go, It doesn't include anything that you need a license for.
	Like that whole puncturing the throat thing, that is super advanced stuff that you need training for.
	This is more of an amateur's kit that has your basics.
	But they don't want to be liable by including something that you need a specific license to be able to use.
	They also have the Jump Medic Elite.
	I'll mention that in the letters page too.
	Remind me of that.
	Okay?
	Because I know I'm not getting the specifics right.
	JumpMedic is getting a shout-out during the letters page.
	JumpMedic can... blah blah blah.
	They also have the JumpMedic Elite, which contains so much stuff that I can't really get into it.
	It's great for police officers, paramedics, and emergency workers.
	All of the JumpMedic Pro... See, I'm reading this where it crops the sentence in half.
	If you want to support this great company but aren't in the market for a full-on first aid kit, check out their refill packages.
	Everyone needs bandages and medications, so get it from Jump Medic.
	If you don't have a first aid kit, or even if you do, this is a great product, possibly the most comprehensive first aid kit at this price that is currently on the market.
	Go to jumpmedic.com, enter promo code RyanSucks, or you'll have to pretend you didn't see that video of him shredding when you put in the promo code.
	Or, I think Gavin works also.
	I think Ryan sucks is fine.
	Gavin's also good.
	Make sure that Ryan sucks is one word for 10% off.
	If that promo code offends you Gavin, well no.
	Don't use the promo code Gavin.
	It's not true.
	I heard it gives you more percents off.
	It's not as true.
	So that's fun.
	We'll keep that over there.
	What else is in the important news besides Bear's dicks?
	Bears, dicks!
	Oh, I saw this post.
	Someone is really proud of being spit-roasted.
	She's got a polyamorous relationship, 1-3.
	POV, you told your boyfriends about each other and now you're all getting married.
	Let's just keep smiling through this shit.
	Wouldn't it be funny too if I was wrong and this is a beautiful, loving relationship that lasts forever?
	And I'm 90 and they're 70 and they're like, remember when Gavin said it wouldn't last?
	Notice the Bible has an upside down cross.
	Oh, yeah.
	How, how perfect.
	We don't, okay.
	So it's an upside down cross.
	So Christianity is disgusting and stupid.
	Your idea of marriage sucks.
	Right.
	Okay.
	So maybe.
	Great.
	Tear me a new ass.
	Let's, uh, let's check back in with you in not 20 years, not 10 years, one year.
	Can we keep tabs on this beautiful, loving, polyamorous relationship for one year?
	How many times have you heard of someone in this scenario?
	I have kind of a weirder background, alternative background, so I've probably come across this more than you, and I've come across it about three or four times.
	It is always, without exception, an absolute catastrophe, including, I knew a dude who had two girlfriends.
	They all lived together.
	And he would come home, they'd be 60-nining and scissoring and whatever you want.
	They all went insane.
	It's not normal for a reason.
	We've tried this shit before.
	Is that a dick on his shoulder, or is he just happy to see me?
	I don't know, but his leather jacket's made of, like, garbage bags.
	What the fuck?
	So is his philosophy.
	I like how they use Christian, you know, a Christian sacrament of marriage to shit on it.
	Yeah, yeah, good point.
	It's like, why don't you make something?
	Ha ha, we don't need your Christianity.
	Well, we like the marriage part, the gowns and everything, but the other stuff, go fuck yourself, loser nerds.
	You guys are such nerds getting married.
	Anyway, we're getting married.
	Here's a good question.
	Do cultures all over the world do the wedding ring?
	Like Japan, do they do that?
	Oh, you gotta see, modern Japanese weddings are the same as ours.
	All of Asia has basically taken over our weddings.
	With the bridal gown.
	There's twists and turns, but the bridal gown, the tuxedo.
	That's interesting.
	We nailed it.
	Just like we did with Christianity.
	When we met those pagan savages in Ireland, we said, no, we're not doing sun gods anymore.
	Even these guys cutting cake.
	Whatever this is.
	Zambian?
	That's called a mistake.
	Again, we'll check in in a year.
	Okay, I've been meaning to get this.
	I got a great green screen because I had this epiphany this week that the more villainous someone is portrayed, the more awesome they are.
	And I know the worst people in America, Jared Taylor, Anthony Cumia, Alex Jones, Nick Fuentes.
	I know satanic monsters.
	And the more you've heard they're evil, the more fun they are to hang out with.
	So I'm gonna break that down in a very deep dive away, but before we get to that, I wanna talk about Dylan Mulvaney.
	And I saw this, speaking of evil people who are brimming with hate, I saw this tweet from Anthony Cumia, where he goes, this guy's just a fag, that's all.
	It's very simple.
	This is not a woman.
	If this is a woman, why is she acting like a gay man?
	And like, try to think of all the women you've ever met, your sister's friends, your mom, all of these chicks, and imagine a woman acting like this.
	You'd think she's a mental patient.
	If a fag acted like this, you'd be like, oh yeah, this is a gay dude who's excited about something.
	But a woman?
	Never.
	It's day 364 of being a girl and we've just arrived at the Rainbow Room for my big rehearsal for the show tomorrow.
	Let's go!
	I'm here in my dressing room, and here's some of my merch.
	And right when the show starts at 8 o'clock, I will come out in my opening gown.
	Show me a woman!
	Like, Ryan, imagine this was your wife.
	You'd be like, are you on crack?
	I think I would think speed or crack.
	Yeah, what's the matter?
	Honey, are you okay?
	Or like, hey, hey, babe, breathe.
	Breathe.
	Calm down.
	I'm fine.
	No, no, no.
	I don't know what the hell.
	Crackers!
	Who wants crackers?
	Someone drugged you.
	No, I'm fine.
	Here is what's going on.
	Come over here.
	You've got to see this, Ryan.
	It's amazing!
	Like, someone drugged you.
	A baby monster tweeted me a really good point.
	They were like, this is the guy that did Book of Mormon.
	Oh yeah, well I'm gonna get to that.
	Not specifically the Book of Mormon, but I have footage of him as a normal gay lord.
	And again, we don't hate gays, we just think they're silly.
	They're like leprechauns.
	Well hello, how you doing?
	Yeah, they're just American leprechauns.
	Is that the title of the show?
	It certainly is.
	You can see it from a mile away, frankly.
	Somebody said that this could be, this would be great if it was, I doubt it, Matt and Trey's prank on the world.
	Sure, he's gay, right?
	He's actually gay, but all of this stuff skyrocketing to fame is like a prank that they're playing on the world.
	So he works for Matt and Trey?
	Did they pay him?
	He was in Book of Mormon.
	Oh!
	If this is Matt and Trey playing a prank on Earth, I'm gonna blow Trey, because he's the gay one, for so long I'm gonna need my stomach pumped.
	So long that Matt'll feel bad and like tag himself in.
	Okay, let's make a pact.
	If this is a prank that Matt and Trey put together, we are both getting a tattoo that says M.T.
	That's fun.
	It won't be like on our necks.
	It'll be like this big, small.
	But somewhere on my body, I'll be getting a tattoo I designed that combines a T and an M. I like it.
	I forgot who pointed that out.
	If this is you two guys, I hereby stand and salute you for a fantastic You've had Joe, he's talked to Joe Biden!
	Yeah, yeah, he's done everything.
	He had, we're about to show this.
	Drew Barrymore praying to him like he's Jesus Christ.
	I think she washed his feet with her hair.
	But anyway, let's see this ridiculous crackhead show us what he's doing, what is happening here.
	So keep that gag in mind.
	Okay.
	It's hard not to see it.
	Please, please God.
	My big entrance.
	Looking over the balcony to all of the people in the cameras.
	And then during the opening number, I just set the staircase.
	Is this legal?
	I wonder, like Biden is throwing people in jail for farting on a Wednesday.
	Like that, that Ricky Vaughn is looking at jail time for a rude tweet.
	So I wouldn't be surprised if he comes out going, yeah, I'm just fucking around.
	I'm just a homo.
	The headline in the New York Post front page, I'm just a fag.
	Oh shit that might be a better title.
	I'm just a sweet transvestite.
	I'm just a fag.
	And we're all waiting in anticipation for him to give up the bit.
	Dude I could see him getting charged for like fraudulent entry to the White House or something.
	I can see this happening like every movie where like there's an undercover person trying to get a scoop on the main guy.
	They feel bad and actually fall in love and they're actually, and he turns around.
	Are you falling in love with Dylan Mulvaney?
	No.
	He falls in love with everybody, like Drew Barrymore.
	He's like, I can't keep this up anymore.
	She's so nice.
	I feel bad.
	Oh, I could see, yeah, I could see him having a meeting with Matt and Trey and going, I have some bad news.
	Yeah.
	I'm in.
	What do you mean you're in?
	No, like I'm never out.
	What are you talking about?
	We're going to announce it like we agreed on September 3rd.
	It's like, no we're not.
	And he has dirt on all of them.
	I'm going to deny it.
	I'm going to deny it and also tell people that we fuck Trey.
	What do you do?
	We spent so much money on this gag.
	I love it here.
	I want to live here.
	You're not a woman, Dylan.
	This is a prank you're in.
	Not anymore.
	And he belches.
	Yeah, he does.
	Here it is.
	Joe Exotic, infamous troll parody.
	He actually got the handle Joe Exotic.
	Good for you.
	Can't convince me this isn't a Matt So and Trey Parker aren't involved in this.
	It's like when they put out that YouTube series where they superimpose Trump's face on the guy.
	They'll admit it, eventually.
	They're gonna spill the beans?
	Don't tell Owen Benjamin.
	Dude, he was a total tranny.
	This is a prank!
	We've had him up at Bearteria.
	We call him Fag Bear.
	Anyway, go back.
	Let's finish this dumb garbage.
	Girls, don't act like this!
	- An amazing rainbow room.
	It's like a ballroom that we've turned into a fair room.
	- Girls don't act like this. - And we come down here, and here is where all the different Trevor Projects and trans humans-- - You know, I know that, I'm realizing that as I look at him as a girl, women are not that confident.
	Because they're not as strong and they're always vulnerable physically, they have the demeanor that's more like, okay, well, this is the room that it's going to be in and I hope it goes well.
	I hope I don't screw up.
	These are the chairs.
	Should I be doing it?
	I don't know.
	Okay.
	So this is the room it's going to be in and I'm really excited.
	They're not like, okay, guys, you're going to love this.
	This is the room.
	They don't have that kind of hubris.
	It's very appealing, too, to see women who have a little bit of humility.
	You don't want a woman kicking down the front door and going, let's party, motherfuckers!
	Good thing we still haven't.
	Haven't seen a woman doing that.
	A bit of it is reminiscent of a 78 year old woman.
	Like maybe Bea Arthur in Golden Girls if she was having the best day of her life.
	But women haven't acted like that for about 70 years?
	A fake dressing room?
	Come here, come here.
	I'm coming, I'm coming.
	I can only go so fast, Dylan!
	How over the top this is, is almost like a way of saving face.
	Like if I had to, you know, everybody I loved was held ransom.
	They were like, be gay.
	I'd be like, okay.
	And I'd be so over the top that I'd be like, clearly that was an act.
	Yeah, look at, hey, look at when we do those chick episodes.
	Right.
	I think they're pretty good.
	Yeah.
	Like as far as not being over the top.
	I mean, we obviously look ridiculous.
	That's the joke.
	It's funny when men dress up as women.
	But we're not like this.
	No.
	Is he so-called Dylan Mulvaney?
	Yeah.
	Well, isn't that weird?
	I think it's yeah.
	Dylan's dad, according to you and your dumb philosophy.
	Dylon.
	Should be Betty.
	I'm so excited.
	We've got our tech rehearsal tonight.
	Tickets are still available.
	Link in my bio for those live stream tickets.
	And I love you.
	I can't wait.
	Bye!
	Bye, gay guy!
	Here's another video of him being a drag queen.
	This is how drag queens act.
	The drag queen's name could be like starry pimple eyes or, you know, like it's it's an it's almost an insulting blackface portrayal of a female.
	That's Monty Python.
	I've got lipstick and lashes applying You definitely are doing well for confidence.
	Talent, not so much, but the confidence thing, you've nailed.
	Remind me of the scariest race.
	In a way, it's very, just like I was saying with Bea Arthur, it's very, like, 50s gay. - He's like a classical gayest.
	Look at the silly fake dyke in the background.
	Lesbian until graduation.
	I've got lugs.
	I've got lugs.
	There's like a chick looks like a slug.
	There's like a chick to male that's like you know in the crowd there and I couldn't imagine like I could imagine her meeting him and being like wow so nice to be and then she hugs him after this and he smells like a dude and it like breaks the whole image.
	She's like oh fuck that's a guy.
	You know what I just realized?
	Lesbians are better at guys than than gays are at women.
	Sure, there's the comical, like, yay, I love tits, but that's usually a heterosexual girl on Halloween with, like, fake stubble and a cigar, and she's being a guy.
	I was that for Halloween once.
	I think it was my best costume.
	I dressed up as a woman, dressed up as a man for Halloween.
	But, um, they're pretty, they're just more subtle about it.
	They're like, hey, what's up?
	Yeah, I got my girl here.
	Like, that's not exactly how we act, but you're in the right zone.
	This isn't in the right zone.
	They're all, they all, they're all E-rock for some reason.
	Yeah.
	They're all a pretty nice guy who has like six sisters and never got into sports.
	Well, yeah, he got in, like he played a little basketball, but it did not stick.
	He plays the keyboard in a band, but then he quit for no reason.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He can fix some shit.
	Fixed my toaster.
	All right.
	That's enough of that.
	But not enough.
	We're still going to talk about him.
	Here's who he really is.
	One six.
	This is who you just saw in a dress.
	And this is a man in his element, which is faggotry.
	And everything is not like, believe it or not, when I look at this, I'm like, everything is in its place.
	I know you guys, a lot of you don't think you're born gay.
	I do.
	Gays are gays.
	I don't give a shit.
	I don't care about them.
	But I don't think that they just need some like electric shock therapy and they'll be eating pussies all day long.
	No, this is a homosexual.
	Forever.
	Let it go.
	I know in Saudi Arabia they'd like him to turn into a woman and we've turned into Saudi Arabia now.
	We deny homosexuality and lesbianetry and we go just become a man or a woman and then we can say everyone's straight.
	That's basically what we're doing here.
	We're like radical Muslims.
	But this is Dylan being Dylan.
	I just had a bad vision of the future where Trey and Matt reached out to like, we're so glad you guys get it.
	We're going to announce it tomorrow.
	We're having a big event.
	Can you guys make it?
	I know it's short notice, but you were like the first to catch on to this besides that Joe Exotic guy.
	And then Dylan's like, that was so funny.
	And then the next day the Deep State finds out that it's about to be a whole expose and they can't let it happen.
	And we're all killed?
	And they arrest us and then we're watching this in the trial and we look over to Dylan and Matt and Trey and they're like this.
	There's nothing we can do at this point.
	You know, I don't want to criticize this, uh, emergency kit.
	I'm not seeing a lot of back scratchers.
	Hmm.
	And one thing about being, oh, you can use this thing.
	There you go.
	One thing about being 50 is you need a, I have like a back scratcher in every room now.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Hey, young people, you're not going to be able to read without glasses.
	You're going to have to powder your nuts.
	Really?
	That's nuts.
	Yeah.
	For what?
	You know what's funny?
	There's a meme, a video, a funny video, where this guy is saying goodbye to his 20-year-old self, and the guy's dancing down the hallway, and there's some, like, Da Young, only the good Da Young, or something like that, and the 28-year-old me is rocking, going down the hallway, like, bye!
	And then it's 30-year-old me, saying bye.
	And he closes the door, and he looks over, and it's 40-year-old me, and 40-year-old me is going, I'm putting talcum powder on my nuts!
	And 30-year-old me is like, what?
	Why?
	It's true, that's what young people say when they find out, but you get Swamp Bag.
	Is that it?
	If you don't powder your nuts.
	If you find this, I will be impressed.
	It sounds like it, the Forever Young.
	Yeah, this is another, this isn't the one I was talking about, but I guess a bunch of people have tried it.
	That's it?
	Oh.
	That's fucking stunk.
	Yeah, the one I'm talking about ends with Dow competitor.
	That's, you can't do a joke without a punchline.
	That rocked.
	That's a setup.
	Opposite of rocked.
	Hey, I did a great setup TikTok.
	I'm not much of a punchline guy.
	Okay.
	I guess someone else will do the punchline for you.
	I saw a roast battle with Nick Mullen and Jesse, Jamie Kilstein.
	Oh yeah, that was a rough one.
	It was a Jared Taylor debate, man.
	Holy shit.
	It was a slaughtering and a murdering.
	There was ashes on the stage.
	I heard Nick talk about that afterwards.
	He was like, I feel bad because he's like a nice guy and that was like really rough.
	It was like Mike Tyson fighting me.
	It was not pleasant to watch.
	Jamie gets killed, Steen.
	Oh my god.
	It was very bad.
	It wasn't even funny.
	No, it wasn't.
	You're right.
	It felt bad.
	It was Jamie mostly going, alright, that was pretty good.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Wow, okay, wow.
	That physically hurt.
	Okay.
	And then when the audience is going...
	No wonder you lost at this meritocracy thing called comedy.
	It was bad, yeah.
	He tried to get on this show.
	That's not how it works.
	He's working with Tim Pool now and it's just, I don't know.
	Oh, now you don't want to be a social justice warrior because you got hoisted on your own retard?
	You ever see him on Paul Provenza's Green Room where they're like, Jamie, do that thing.
	They're like, do that, do that, that rant thing.
	And he's like, OK, here I go.
	And he does it.
	And it just it's exhausting.
	I will never forgive the white man blues.
	Sorry, I know I'm a Christian, but some things don't deserve a second chance.
	There was no redemption.
	He was on that stupid cunt black woman's show, which was just bashing white people, and of course it didn't last.
	And then he gets with a guitar, he's singing the white man blues, and he's like, maybe I tell a woman to make me a sandwich, because I don't know how to make my own.
	You gotta find that now.
	I will hear this in the meantime.
	What's her name?
	And it's not poetry.
	No, it's stand-up now.
	Do that one joke.
	Do that one joke about gay rights.
	It's not a joke, by the way.
	Do you want to stand?
	Ron, would you like me to stand or sit?
	You can sit right where you are so you can't get away if it sucks.
	Sure.
	To every heterosexual, mentally abusive, closet racist, fast food feeding, let your kid run around a mall like a psychopath parent, why do you have like nine fucking kids, yet you say that gay folk can't adopt because it might screw the child up, and I know America thinks that every time a gay couple adopts a child, it forces otherwise straight and homophobic pastor Ted Haggard to hire a gay male prostitute and engage in a week-long meth-induced fuck spree.
	I know!
	He didn't want to do it, you guys, but then a gay couple adopted and it forced him to take an injection of another male prostitute cock.
	I know, I get it.
	But I say just because your man is bitten to some girl bits doesn't mean you have to have kids.
	Do you know how many straight parents shouldn't have children?
	Go to a movie theater or an IHOP on a Sunday.
	It's like when the quiet's changing.
	It's like everything we hate personified in one dumb Cuck rant.
	When the basement-dwelling teenager at Thanksgiving starts talking and you're like, you kidding me?
	I love when they get hoisted on their own retard, like Eric Warheim and the all-gas-no-brakes guy.
	They put all their eggs in that basket, but they don't realize that their own stupid system of believe-all-woman leaves them all one little shove away from going off the cliff.
	So I'd like, like, Andrew Cuomo to get fucked for his corruption in Albany and when he said he's going to make Buffalo, New York the new New York and poured billions of dollars into it, which he took for himself.
	That's something he should go down for.
	But he looked at a chick's tits too long.
	OK, whatever works, whatever takes out Cuomo.
	I'll have.
	Is this it?
	No.
	No, it was on like an MSNBC show.
	And he's singing with a guitar or no?
	Yeah, he's got a guitar.
	It's like a beautiful fancy set, like a Fox News set.
	It's in the newsroom.
	And she's just like, look, I made one of these monkeys dance.
	I got one of these dumb white people to talk about how much white people suck.
	I'm so thrilled.
	And he's just like, he's a Sambo.
	It's a white Sambo act.
	Oh, did he get junior varsity?
	I'll keep looking for it.
	Uh-oh.
	Here's the picture of the cop escorting me.
	It's not quite as exciting as getting on Junior Varsity before you're even in fucking high school.
	Um... All right, before we get... This is a long ep today.
	Before we get to the green screen, let's talk about Purple Works.
	Wait, I still want to do some more Mulvaney, right?
	Yeah, that's the cop.
	It's weird, I go, we do a show now called Cops and Robbers, and he goes, oh, really?
	You're such a fan that you recognize me walking down the street, and you don't know about censored.tv?
	Stay up, man.
	Come on.
	Come on, man.
	Yeah, we got this thing still.
	Oh yeah, let's finish it.
	You get to spin the wheel, but guess what?
	You get a second chance in this game first.
	No way!
	Oh my god!
	Oh my god, I'm still in it!
	Drew Carey.
	It's like Santa's derelict brother.
	$5.99.
	Which one do you want to keep?
	You're watching someone be themselves here.
	This is normal in quotation marks.
	Yes!
	You got it!
	Dylan's the winner!
	Dylan's the winner!
	$199.
	It's pretty fancy.
	It is...
	Yes!
	You got it!
	Dylan's the winner!
	Dylan's the winner!
	Dylan, nice job, man.
	Look at that.
	Does anyone think that guy might be a woman?
	It It's like dictionary gay stuff.
	That's another good name for the show.
	No woman's ever done anything like that. - Like they don't have the confidence to be so goofy.
	Thank God.
	But this is what gays do.
	It's...
	Maybe I've lived in cities too long, but I find them kind of endearing as this.
	He's just a silly faggot.
	Like, I wouldn't say he can't come to my party.
	Oh shit, yeah.
	Drew Carey said, nice job, man.
	Well, yeah, that's because he's a man.
	Dude, look at this!
	I don't know any woman that behaves like that.
	Yeah, there's no rowing a canoe.
	This is like Mike Myers stuff.
	Oh, behave.
	I think 1-7 is just that again.
	Let's just make sure.
	More dancing?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Same thing.
	You got the Barrymore though, right?
	Yeah, that's one eight.
	This has kind of been done to death, but did you see Drew Barrymore got on her knees and like prayed to him?
	No, go back.
	Just click on that and then zoom out.
	Please turn off the TV.
	I also saw with that same couple pictures, they were like, Drew Barrymore finally reunited with E.T.
	after all these years.
	She starts giving him Skittles.
	No, it was peanut butter M&M's.
	Yeah, they wanted to be, I think M&M's, but they got outbid.
	Yep, and there was like almost a dying candy at the time and it helped reinvigorate my take on this was if you've seen the clip Look how low they both get like she gets down on a knee and then he feels bad So he goes down to her level and then she sits more down.
	I've only seen pictures.
	Let's hear the dialogue I want you to know you're not a dude Or believing you're a woman.
	Get lower.
	Oh, they do.
	Oh, they do?
	Oh, yeah!
	It's like Japanese with the bowing.
	It doesn't stop.
	Myself me too.
	Oh And Lower they do well they do.
	Oh, yeah, it's like Japanese with the bowing It doesn't stop like when you're trying to like kill by a bear You've been doing a little longer than I have Yeah, that's one way of putting it.
	You've been doing it for zero seconds.
	I've been doing it for whatever she is, 48 years.
	Tell me if this wasn't a Key and Peele sketch.
	They both keep getting lower and lower and lower.
	Wait, are you reading your tweets on the show and how funny they are?
	You should see what this guy, me, said about this.
	I'm surmising it.
	Surmising?
	You mean summarizing?
	I won't show it.
	So imagine this is a Key and Peele sketch, how they would take that super duper far until Dylan Mulvaney's in hell.
	Well that's what's gonna happen.
	And he's like, where are you Drew?
	And Drew's like, oh I'm not evil, I'm just ditzy and dumb.
	Good news, Dylan, if you're watching.
	If you are part of a prank with Matt and Trey, you're not going to hell.
	You're going to heaven.
	And I can't wait to party with you there.
	Okay, last thing before this this gigantic green screen.
	That annoying chick from the other day.
	Remember the Hispanic affirmative action hire who got out to the podium where that judge, the appellate court judge, was trying to do a normal talk that may have been slightly conservative?
	And she ruined it by talking about herself.
	I'm like, yo, you gotta understand about our community.
	It means so much to me, and I wanna let you talk, but it hurts me so much to hear that.
	And you're like, this leftist bitch just ruined everything.
	Why does she have a role?
	Guess who's in shit since that, we showed that.
	The Chick.
	What, wait, what?
	Hundreds of students lined the halls yesterday to, Protest the law school's Dean Jenny Martinez, and she's a dean in the sense that she's a dean of fucking inclusion and awareness for apologizing to Kyle Durnham.
	The judge shouted down last week.
	Wow.
	They subjected her to an intimidating walk of shame.
	So they all wore black.
	This is fucking we are still a very religious country, but we've abandoned Christianity Just like Chris Hayes and we're starting a new religion.
	That's just as puritanical this all could be genetics, right?
	We're still the same Puritans that that hit the Mayflower it hit Plymouth Rock but now our religion is I don't know the radical Marxist leftism and So they go to her class, they vandalize her class with all this shit, this like, sinner.
	Shame!
	And as she walks out like, I'm sorry I didn't eviscerate that judge.
	I just, I just insulted him for like 20 minutes as opposed to stabbing him.
	And then she has to walk out with her head down like, I'm so sorry.
	The protesters dressed in black and wearing face masks that read, counter speech is free speech.
	Yeah, that's totally true.
	Have your own seminar where you debunk all of the horrible things the judge said.
	No one has a problem with that.
	Stared silently at Martinez as she exited the room, according to five students who witnessed the episode.
	By the way, they did this with my talk at Penn State, where they had anti-me things, where they were gay and they ran around, did drag queen shit.
	That should have been enough.
	And I'm totally, obviously everyone's fine with that, but they still are still threatening Penn State for not, for just even allowing me to enter the campus.
	That was a sin.
	So they pretend that all they want is the right to do counter speech?
	No, no, no, no.
	They want to do their speech only and destroy the opposing view.
	And I bet his talk was pretty benign.
	The student protesters who formed a human corridor from Martina's classroom to the building's exit comprised nearly a third of the law school.
	And the majority of Martina's class, approximately 50 students of the 60 enrolled, participated in the protests themselves.
	I've got the right story, right?
	Yeah.
	Like that was the woman who got up on the podium and that judge was Kyle, what's his name?
	Yep.
	Yeah, that was the thing.
	She spent about six real minutes like doing nothing, but just catering to them so that way not gonna say something fair This is Kelsey by the way.
	Oh, they're Melissa Perry That was her name grew up totally white black father abandoned her raised by a white woman She grew up in like Ohio related to Matt Perry actually To fulfill a dream, we just needed a bit of a preview.
	Jamie is taking his comedy songs and rants and making a full studio album.
	A dream of his since he was 16 years old.
	No coming back in my book, Jamie.
	This is about the real struggle.
	Is Tessa Claire Hirsch.
	Her amazing vocals are part of it.
	Jamie and Tessa, take it away.
	Uncle Tom.
	This is about the real struggle.
	Tessa Claire Hirsch.
	Peculiar name.
	I don't know what sis is.
	Is someone pulling my spine out of my body through my asshole?
	I feel like somebody's putting a spine in my asshole.
	A spine fish.
	You guys are scared of ghosts.
	You're scared of these fake Klansmen that you think are lurking around every corner.
	You're scared of David Blaine magic.
	I'll tell you what, Jamie.
	There is coming back from this as a laborer, a day laborer in maybe like Wales or...
	Just be a bricklayer and live out the rest of your life and no one wants to hurt you.
	But any of us ever speaking to you in person?
	Oh, that's the line I was talking about.
	Go back.
	Sorry, I'm interrupting all his great blues riffs.
	Sandwich!
	But to be honest, it's cuz.
	No, more.
	You gotta go back more.
	I don't know how to make.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	Said something I don't like.
	Always fighting on the internet.
	I tell her to make me a sandwich, but to be honest, it's cuz.
	I don't know how to make a sandwich.
	No, he Do you know how to build bridges, airplanes, cell phones, technology?
	Wait, what?
	Do you know how to build airplanes, cell phones, technology, bridges, roads?
	If there's one thing men know, it's how to make a fucking sandwich.
	I love when I go to a New York deli and there's all those women making me a big old sandwich.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, the Godfather was pioneered by a female.
	Holy fuck, a woman does make her sandwiches at that bodega down the street, and they fucking suck.
	She can never retain what ingredients you wanted them.
	Yeah.
	Amazing.
	Oh, you mean the one here?
	Yeah.
	Oh, dude.
	I stand there.
	I don't look at my phone.
	But you have to.
	Cheddar cheese.
	If you leave, she'll be like, what am I supposed to do?
	Jalapenos.
	No, no, not American cheese.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Toasted?
	Yeah.
	Tostito?
	No, don't put tostitos on there.
	And then she looks over at the fucking Cuban guy and she's like, what's cheese in Spanish again?
	I've done that with mayonnaise.
	And she's like, mayonnaise?
	And he's like, mayonesa.
	She's like, oh, mayonnaise.
	Yeah.
	It's a cognate.
	Men don't know how to make sandwiches.
	Nice allegation, buddy.
	And again, I've always said this.
	I don't mind being insulted.
	I don't mind being mocked.
	Just make it true.
	Right.
	All right.
	Let's talk about, speaking of true, Purple Works Nutrition pre-workout.
	This is the pink lemonade flavor.
	Strength, energy, focus.
	It is unlike any pre-workout I've ever taken before.
	I am an old man.
	I'm very sensitive to caffeine.
	I don't have any coffees after like noon or I'm up all night.
	So I personally do not do an entire scoop in the mornings.
	My workouts usually 9.30, so I'll take it at nine and I got to say, man, I get prickles.
	I've told you this before, right?
	I get prickles on my hands and my feet.
	And if I don't, if I, for whatever reason, take the pre-workout, but don't work out, those prickles last way too long.
	They go into the rest of the day.
	Don't take this if you're not going to work out.
	So I take it.
	And then as I'm working out, I feel the prickles like becoming employed.
	And helping, and I get this second wind in my workout where all of a sudden I'm just like, ish, ish, ish, ish.
	And you know what really helps too, because Ryan, the owner of the gym, we're always competing because we're the same age, and he always has to beat me.
	What really helps is our trainer occasionally lies to him and says, Gavin did all that entire workout three times.
	He's like, how the fuck did he fit it in 30 minutes?
	I didn't.
	I did it twice.
	But anyway, that's neither here nor there.
	My trainer Hector drives him insane by saying that I did twice or whatever I did.
	So he's there like, trying to do things I never did.
	Just like before you do, like, I remember as a kid when we were in bands, I'd be so nervous before the show.
	And I'd have, like, I think, I don't know if I can do the show, guys.
	I'd be bent over by the side of the stage with, like, stomach going... Going, I think I'm gonna have explosive diarrhea.
	I don't think I can do the show.
	Then I would get on stage and boom.
	All of that fear would turn into adrenaline and just fucking rock out.
	It was awesome.
	Not remotely uncomfortable on stage, but scared before.
	And I've noticed that with the pre-workout.
	Your hands are prickly.
	You feel a little unusual and then it's employed.
	And then when you're done the workout, the prickles are gone and it's not like you're sketched out after.
	You used the purple works while you were working out.
	And every, all the little minions that are in your bloodstream did their job.
	Now they're done.
	And now you have that.
	You know what I love?
	I don't like leg days where your legs are sore the next day, but I love when your arms are sore the next day.
	Oh yeah.
	Isn't that a great feeling?
	You're like, I did it.
	And it's weird, too.
	I don't like sore back from working out.
	The only thing I like after working out is pecs and arms.
	Because you're like, I did it.
	I like a sore back.
	Like the muscles in the back.
	Really?
	Oh yeah.
	I don't want to get a ripped back.
	You look like a turtle.
	I want to have giant arms.
	And by the way, this, compared to what I grew up with, is Schwarzenegger levels.
	I used to have pencils for... Schwarzenegger.
	So yeah, Purple Works Nutrition.
	I'm still on my second container.
	I've got three of these at home.
	And I highly recommend it.
	I highly recommend it.
	Do not take this if you're not going to work out.
	I'm going to start my working out again.
	And I told my coach this too.
	Unfortunately, Ryan, I will not be taking up my caring again.
	I already called it, so... Well, you had to interrupt me.
	Feel it!
	Feel it!
	Come on, come on.
	So yeah, go to purpleworksnutrition.com, promo code Gavin for 15% off.
	Don't forget to buy one of their shakers.
	It's this little sort of drink box thing, drink box, drinking flask, doohickey, thermos, whatever.
	What do you call those?
	A fucking shaker.
	And it's got a mesh in it, so when you shake it up.
	I just use a tablespoon, I use about a third of a tablespoon in the mornings, and I stir it.
	What is this?
	Is this from their site?
	No.
	It's a good vibration for them.
	I wouldn't do that, Ryan.
	This is my back.
	See?
	A nice ripped back.
	This is my care.
	See?
	Oh yeah, well you can kiss my ass.
	Alright, let's get to the green screen.
	Okay, we can absolutely do that.
	Would you like to do that now?
	Yeah, I'd love to do that.
	Okay, here we go.
	Okay.
	Come on, everybody.
	All righty.
	Let's get down to the faces of hate.
	Uh-oh.
	I am just a face of hate.
	I am nothing else.
	Guess we... We can't go fucking green, can we?
	Hang on a minute.
	There, can you see me now? can you see me now?
	Mostly.
	I just got a little bit popped out here in the corner of my crest.
	What is this shirt?
	Munster Lannister.
	Connachie Ulster.
	Some fuckin' Irish shirt there for St.
	Paddy's Day.
	Alright, the Faces of Hate have been thinking about this all week.
	The more evil someone is, the more of a monster they are, the better of a person they are.
	Now, I know some people that are disliked by the left, like Greg Gutfeld and Hannity, and I've hung out with those dudes.
	They're pretty good.
	They're not amazing, though.
	When I hang out with actual monster, evil, satanic beasts from hell that give leftist nightmares, those people are extraordinary.
	So we're going to go through the 10 biggest monsters of the left.
	Cue next card.
	Ten monsters who are actually pretty cool.
	Now let me show you a graph I put together of this.
	So we have guys who are like kind of monstery like Greg and Hannity and they're pretty cool.
	But I'm going to be only staying up here in like the top worst horrible hate mongers in all of America and I'm going to tell you what they're actually like.
	And it's amazing too because just like the fuck around and find out chart the more you're told they're horrible The more awesome they are.
	Every single person on this list is extraordinary.
	Like some of the best people I've ever known.
	I know it sounds gay, but outside of like a romantic thing, I'm in love with them.
	And they're worth it.
	So let's start at the top with my pal Anthony Cumia.
	So now you do the Anthony Cumia background for the rest of this.
	So show the card, Ryan, when I say the name.
	There we go.
	So now that's in the books.
	And then this is the way he's depicted, right?
	Racist tirade.
	So Anthony, it must be eight years ago now, he was jumped by a black tranny as he was taking photographs around Times Square.
	The tranny instantly just started punching him in the face.
	And without saying any racial epithets, Anthony said, what is it with the black community and this immediate jump to violence?
	And it's just a fact.
	I mean, if you look at jackass pranks, or you know those pranks where you're like a bush, and then you come out at the guy?
	You get punched in the face.
	Maybe it's a hood thing, I don't know.
	But you'll notice that Jesse Jackson and shit rap in the 90s was talking about this problem, this knee-jerk reaction to violence.
	So it's a well-documented thing, and it's a problem with the black community.
	He merely pointed it out.
	And that was the end of him.
	He's cancelled now.
	He's a tenacious bugger.
	So he was able to make his own pirate ship.
	And that, by the way, begot Joe Rogan and a lot of these podcasts you see today.
	But he was the first guy to say, yeah, you can't cancel me.
	I'm just going to do it out of my basement.
	Then he built a studio in the city.
	Anyway.
	So that's how he's portrayed as the worst guy alive.
	This dude is nice to a fault.
	He overhires, overpays people.
	He's always buying shots.
	Back before he sold his house to build a house in South Carolina.
	Huge parties at his house, black dudes, white dudes, retards, people with like speech impediments, waist weights, all just filling his house, jumping in his pool, staying sometimes for days.
	Like this guy is the most benevolent person I've ever met.
	He's seething with hate, as all Archie Bunker types are, but it's hatred of everyone equally.
	And it's a pattern I've noticed with this whole group is when they love you they love you and when they hate you they hate you.
	All of these people on this list are Braveheart types so they're going to fight England if England tries to destroy us but as far as they're the people around them love them to death.
	So I hope I'm conveying this correctly but this guy is uniquely benevolent.
	Funny when people come up to him at bars they're joking riffing Incredibly high quality dude.
	Unbelievably generous.
	I bumped into him at a casino once.
	We were both there for different reasons.
	I was there for a Proud Boys thing and he was there because of a show.
	And he just, he's playing blackjack.
	He goes, oh Gavin, what's going on man?
	He just slides me over like 500 bucks in chips.
	Have a seat.
	And we just start playing blackjack.
	Just the kind of guy he is.
	And that's why he has such loyalty from guys like Rogan and Louis CK who give him front row seats to their shows and to MMA fights because people respect that he's an OG.
	Anyway, not remotely racist, not remotely what the media portrays him to be.
	Let's go to number two.
	Number two is Ann Coulter.
	I've never felt this way about a woman without it being sexual.
	It's a weird feeling to have, especially as someone who is, according to the left, and according to me, kind of sexist.
	Like, I'm an Archie Bunker sexist.
	But a typical view is this, I hate Ann Coulter.
	I mean, people want to murder this woman.
	Is my head getting cropped?
	No, no.
	Like, she's not safe.
	She needs bodyguards when she goes out.
	She likes Halloween because she can wear a mask and walk among the people without fear of getting jumped.
	People want to cause harm to her, which is amazing because she's one of the kindest, most benevolent people.
	Like, I've seen her talk to girls who are lonely and they're like, What am I going to do about a man?" And it's like, look, it's very simple.
	Just don't be fat.
	Grow your hair long.
	Try to look nice a few times a week and you'll do okay.
	She's genuinely concerned about people.
	Now, like a lot of these heroes, they themselves didn't get married and have kids, which is really unfortunate.
	I'm not sure why that is.
	Why they didn't get married and have kids, but they want everyone else to get married and have kids and be happy.
	That's the other thing.
	Like, with all the vitriol that you hear from Anne and Ant, they both just want everyone to be happy.
	They want America to be better.
	They want everyone to be fulfilled.
	The left doesn't feel like that.
	What I get from the left, especially the sort of trannies, is like, me, me, me.
	I was treated this way.
	I felt that way.
	You don't really hear Anne talk about herself.
	She talks about America.
	She talks about jobs.
	But she's very concerned about other people.
	And that's why she's on this show, talking about, like, I don't want to hear about racism from some Spanish conquistador speaking a European language.
	I know you're Mexican.
	You're a rich Mexican.
	You can't come here and talk about how horrible it is.
	She's also pretty politically correct.
	There's been times where I've said the N-word in a jokey way around her, and she gets pissed off at me.
	And she shuts it down immediately.
	So not only is she incredibly kind and benevolent and concerned about other people's feelings, but she's also very careful about other people's feelings.
	And she's always organizing stuff.
	I had a dinner party with her in Colorado with Peter Thiel, and she was like, OK, you and you, and she's pointing to me and some other loudmouth, you guys go at the end.
	of the table because you can project your voices and the shy people are going to go next to Peter.
	You're going to go here.
	You're going to go here.
	Organizing the whole table such that it was maximum fun.
	And it worked.
	The shy people got to talk as much as me.
	And it all panned out.
	That's the genius of her.
	When she invites people over for dinner, it'll be like some dude who owns a hockey team, fucking Amy Horowitz, some dude who wrote for SNL, like this amazing variety of people.
	And everyone's interesting.
	That's the thing about Ann.
	When you go out with her, the night is interesting and fun.
	And people always say to me, they go, you know Ann Coulter, that shit she says, that's like, how much of that is just for shock value and how much does she really believe?
	And I always say this, I go, what sentence are you talking about?
	What quote from what book are you talking about?
	Her books are all fantastic.
	Shit, I forgot Michelle Malkin on this list.
	Actually, I love Michelle to death, but these people that I'm showing this list, I've partied with.
	They're gregarious.
	Michelle has her husband and her kids, and she's got her own thing going on.
	So, maybe I don't regret her putting her on this list, because she's not exactly Braveheart in the sense that she doesn't walk into a room and bombastically announce herself.
	All of the people on this list do.
	Except maybe Brimelow.
	Malkin's fucking awesome, don't get me wrong.
	I gotta think about why she's not on this list.
	Sorry to interrupt myself with conjecture.
	Alright, number three!
	Who do we got?
	Tommy Robinson.
	How is he portrayed in the media?
	That's the first link.
	Far right, swooping on towns to exploit tension.
	So, Pakistani Muslims, who have only seen white people in porn back home, come there, they see young girls, and they go, yeah, I've seen these on the disgusting porn I used to watch.
	I'm going to groom them and attack them.
	Look, when they see him in Luton, it's a big deal.
	And yeah, he was the leader of the EDL.
	Yeah, there was some Nazis in the EDL.
	That's why he left the EDL.
	Look, some little kid is like, that's racist.
	Look at him.
	Pussy.
	They want to throw down.
	This is his hometown.
	By the way, this is 20 minutes from my hometown.
	My mom used to get groceries in Luton from Hitchen.
	But yeah, he's not safe there because he dares to question the locals who fucking groom kids.
	And we've seen the data on this.
	It's incredible.
	Hundreds of young girls raped by Muslims.
	And not just Luton.
	Oh, there we go.
	It's off.
	Um, but up in Birmingham, Liverpool, almost every non-major city or every city outside of London has a serious problem with Pakistanis grooming.
	So, Tommy brings this up.
	What do they do?
	They persecute him and manage to come up with some retarded charge.
	Contempt of court.
	No one's been jailed for contempt of court in Britain, I believe, ever.
	I've heard of one other case.
	It was a $3,000 fine.
	The guy refused to pay it.
	He's a contempt of court kind of guy.
	He says, fuck you.
	It doesn't get paid.
	No problem.
	Tommy's done two separate prison sentences for the same charge.
	He went in, did the charge, by the way, inside they tried to get Muslims to kill him.
	The CO set it up such that he was, his door was unlocked.
	Some Somali comes in, whips boiling water at him.
	Tommy deeks it out, beats the shit out of the guy.
	Then they sent him to another prison.
	After he gets out, they go, no, you're going back in for the same charge again.
	I don't know how they twist it, because it's double jeopardy, but they did it.
	And then in that charge, the Muslims go, we're gonna poison your food, because they all work in the... Believe it or not, they're over-represented in the pedophile field in Britain.
	They're also over-represented in the prisons.
	Well, there's the ADL burning a Nazi flag.
	The EDL, I should say.
	Because they fought hard to avoid... to make sure that they weren't seen as Nazis.
	But eventually, you know, you can only fight so long.
	At any rate, um...
	They said in the second prison the Muslims go, we're gonna poison your food.
	So all he can eat is like the tuna you get at commissary and a bag of chips.
	So he's emaciated.
	He looked like a different person.
	He kind of looked like Jesus.
	Did I include a picture of him when he got out with that beard?
	Unrecognizable.
	He lost like 26 pounds.
	I go to him.
	Yeah, there he is getting out.
	I go, are you gonna be skinny from now on?
	He goes, mate, I could look at McDonald's and put on 10 stone.
	Okay, so that's the bad side that you've heard of him, right?
	And this is a great speech he did.
	He's done great documentaries, too, proving his allegations.
	Are you exploiting his allegations against the Muslims?
	I mean, are you exploiting tensions when you say these people are grooming?
	Okay, yeah.
	I want to exploit tensions.
	You should be tense.
	There's kids getting raped.
	Let's get tense, please.
	Remember the time some Muslim grabbed his daughter's ass?
	And he was accused of assaulting the guy just for saying, you're gonna sit there, mate, and wait for the police.
	And they go, this Tommy Robinson just attacked me because I'm Muslim.
	Well, he did fucking try to molest his daughter, so.
	You're lucky you're alive, asshole.
	Anyway.
	That being said, I've hung out with Tommy, I arrive at the airport, someone picks me up, then I finally meet Tommy.
	They're joking around, his son has a car seat at the time, like, oh Tommy you're gonna need the car seat in the front, joking about how short he is.
	We party for like three days, pubs, laughs.
	He's got like basically a fatwa on him at the time.
	His mates, his soccer hooligan crew, which I went to a football match with them, the goalie comes out at the end of the game and gives Tommy's son his goalkeeping gloves.
	He's a god amongst men and these guys are the, not just fun, laughing their heads off at all time, pints, we're going from this place to that place, but funny.
	And the perfect example I keep citing is, I'm kind of flirty with waitresses and stuff, especially if I'm drunk, and I was like, hey, how you doing?
	You look great or something like that.
	And she's not interested, obviously, because I look like this.
	And they go, she leaves, and they go, they all start laughing, and one of them goes, Gavin's always been faithful to his wife, but it's not for want of trying.
	And then everyone bursts out laughing at what a faggot I am.
	Quality.
	Dude, you ever heard the Avatar blues, where after the Avatar movie's over, they feel weird for a few days because they miss it so much?
	That's how I felt when I flew back from hanging with Tommy's stalker, Yabos.
	In Luton, coming back to New York.
	I was like, what have I done with my life?
	I should be with them.
	Quality men.
	And they're not picking fights, just like Proud Boys.
	They're out there fighting on behalf of children.
	Alright, next.
	Can you do the next guy when I say next and not show the old guy?
	Jared Taylor.
	Oh my god.
	He's a white supremacist.
	I've talked to Jared quite a bit about race.
	Look at this.
	They're not white nationalists, they're white supremacists.
	This is some clown.
	He's a dropout loser who was in the army for like a year before he got kicked out.
	He was at, what's the fucking big Hunts Point?
	What's it called?
	No, that's where the prostitutes are.
	West Point?
	No, the military school.
	West Point?
	West Point.
	He was, you know, cheating, lying, stealing, total catastrophe, but now all he writes about is military school.
	He writes these dumb, like, girly novels, pulp fiction about military school.
	He's a joke, but he's also super politically correct.
	And he's attacking Jared Taylor here, just like he attacks everyone.
	This is just a random example of the way most of the people on this list are seen by the radical left.
	They're so busy, they're so worried about bigotry from white males that they totally ignore any kind of bigotry from anyone else.
	They're allowed to.
	It's about power, you see.
	I know Jared very well.
	I've known him for 20 years.
	We disagree on a lot of things.
	He's been to my house, he's seen my Indian family, my Indian wife, and he couldn't give less of a shit.
	His thing is, he goes, if diversity is so crucial to everyone, and if it's so organically wonderful, then we shouldn't have to pay for it.
	You know, you don't have to promote sex.
	You don't have to promote marijuana.
	You don't have to promote lots of good things.
	Fitness.
	You don't need to make people jog.
	They just jog because it makes them feel good.
	If diversity was such a strength, why do we have to spend trillions of dollars across the world forcing it down people's throats?
	His contention is you should be able to have a whites-only restaurant.
	You should be able to have a blacks-only restaurant.
	You should be able to segregate.
	It should be legal to segregate.
	You should be able to avoid diversity if it's not for you.
	He doesn't want all blacks to go back to Africa.
	He's not like that's a Richard Spencer thing.
	So Jared Taylor basically has the same views as most Japanese men.
	And that's because he's Japanese.
	He was born there.
	It's his first language.
	I think he talks like that in that transatlantic accent because those were the films he saw in Sugamuko.
	And that's why he learned, that's how he learned to speak English outside of his parents.
	And that's why he says white.
	Because I believe that's how they spoke back then.
	Anyway, what you're seeing when you see this person is just a Japanese man in white face.
	And if you're shocked by his beliefs, that means you don't know a lot of other races like Japanese people and you don't know how they feel about race.
	If you have a problem with him, by all means, debate him.
	Ari the Rugged Man did a particularly bad job and he's every time you see him debate someone even guys that I really appreciate like Wilford Riley he just it's embarrassing it's a cat playing with a mouse before he eats it and I drank whiskey with this guy I've been to conventions with them and and we did a TV pilot with David Cross together and the guy is just an incredibly calm funny well-educated man that just wants what's best for his country
	High quality, dude.
	And, again, a lot of these people I disagree with.
	I'm not as radical.
	I'm obviously a race mixer, which Jared's not bananas about, but how does he treat me as a race mixer?
	He's like, alright, well, that's not for me.
	I prefer if whites would marry whites, but he's still over for whiskeys.
	So, this is the real problem, too, with this national divorce.
	I don't agree with everyone on this list, especially Nick Fuentes, who's coming up.
	Who gives a shit?
	Anthony Cumia plays video games for six hours in a row.
	I fucking hate that adults play video games.
	So?
	This is the thing, why do you have to agree with all your friends?
	That's fucking gay.
	It's gay to need to agree with 100% of what your friends believe.
	It's also not a very colorful lifestyle.
	That's very, worse than gay, it's grey.
	That's communism.
	And that's what the left is pushing these days.
	Everyone in Mumford & Sons has to feel the same way about Jordan Peterson or they're out of the band.
	Oh good, so now when I go see a band, I know the keyboardist, the bassist, and the drummer all feel the same way about Trump.
	There's one thing I need.
	It's philosophical collusion amongst all of my homogeneous band members.
	To be fair, this is the type of game that Anthony Comea plays.
	He's launching rockets into space with like real physics.
	Our trajectory is at any given moment during the burn.
	Yes, he also plays Call of Duty.
	Right now, we're going to fly around the planet.
	Uh, next?
	Should be Nick.
	Okay, fine, we can do Peter Brimelow.
	Peter Brimelow, huge family man.
	His wife died of breast cancer after their first two kids.
	If you're a single parent, Or a widower.
	Or a widow.
	I think it's your ethical job to get remarried as fast as possible so the kids have a mum.
	As the British people say.
	And he did.
	He got himself a new mum.
	And had a bunch more kids.
	So the age gap with his kids is like 15 years or something.
	But they all get along great.
	Persecuted because he's anti-immigration.
	Well, here he is.
	So he's eventually like, just leave me alone.
	I could find an SPLC link for all these people, by the way.
	He goes, I'm not going to bother.
	I don't want to be around you.
	You don't want to be around me.
	Fine.
	I'll just get a castle in the middle of nowhere.
	Oh yeah?
	It's a hate castle.
	Like the guy is literally alone like Frankenstein sequestered in a castle with his family and the SPLC is all like, what's that castle doing there?
	It's a hate castle.
	Ooh, the locals are furious.
	The locals couldn't give two shits.
	They found one or two lesbian bookstore owners who were upset that there's a guy behind the fence who's possibly racist.
	Yeah, he says diversity is a weakness, and there's a lot of evidence to say exactly that, that diversity doesn't do well.
	Especially when you look at a lack of assimilation.
	You can have a bunch of different races, but they should agree that America is founded on Christianity and Christians are awesome.
	You know if you if you move to Japan you should probably respect Japanese culture and take your shoes off when you go inside.
	That you can be a different race in Japan but you should follow the customs because that's what Japan is.
	That's what a country is.
	A series of customs and culture and behavior and understandings.
	Mutual understandings.
	Not homogeneity but unity.
	Anyway, so Peter is a fantastic author.
	You gotta read his book, The Worm and the Apple, about the teachers' unions and how they've destroyed education.
	Another great book he wrote is Alien Nation.
	There's two Alien Nations.
	One's a sci-fi horror book.
	I don't like when words end with a consonant and start with the same consonant, like duct tape.
	Alien nation should be nation of aliens by the way Peter so disappointed with him there But anyway Peter Brimelow obsessed with his kids great family man had a big Christmas party at that hate castle That was awesome always willing to debate.
	He's cancelled now Despite writing two bestsellers and being an incredible writer on the economy, a great economist, great financial Wall Street Journal guy, he'll never be able to write a book again, because he has sinned, and he is called for strong borders.
	Which, by the way, in the days of Obama and Bill Clinton, was a perfectly reasonable belief.
	It still is, as far as I'm concerned, but it's verboten today.
	So, persona non grata, evil vampire lives in a castle, hung out with a million times, awesome dude, great dinner parties, great conversation.
	Although if I did have to criticize him, the guy needs a fucking hearing aid.
	Like this, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what was that again?
	Sorry, sorry.
	Dude, just get a fucking, I'll pay for it.
	I don't want to say things twice.
	That's the worst thing you could say about PB.
	Oh, interesting.
	Same initials.
	Next, Nick Fuentes.
	This guy may have inspired this entire list.
	Him and Kumia inspired this entire list.
	When I think of Nick, I think of a cartoon character giggling.
	The guy is constantly, he's like that chick.
	No, he's kind of like this guy.
	The Billy Crystal character in Monsters, Inc.
	Mike Wazowski.
	I'm sorry, Ryan?
	Mike Wazowski.
	Of course, Ryan knows all their names perfectly.
	This is Ryan's literature, by the way.
	Some are interested in Dickens and that similar, you know, the canon of the romantics.
	This is Ryan's canon.
	I remember because my childhood, unlike yours, wasn't a million kajillion years ago.
	So I do remember that very well, yeah.
	I remember my childhood very well.
	It included Dennis the Menace of Beano Comics, and Nasher, and Desperate Dan, and Danny's Tranny was a transistor radio.
	And playing Jackson Hopscotch.
	A multi-gender person.
	I remember Minnie the Minx, Billy Whiz.
	Cracking open a fire hydrant to play in the street.
	Iron Brew.
	I remember Cadbury Flakes.
	I remember Terry's Orange.
	Anyway.
	Naughty in big ears.
	But Nick Fuentes, SPLC, he's so evil he can't fly.
	He's so evil he can't travel.
	He can't stay at Airbnb.
	He can't have a place to stay in, sort of like Jesus in the manger.
	He can't be on an airplane.
	He's not allowed to travel.
	That's verboten.
	Because of his beliefs what a pussy culture we live in when shit stains like this son of a preacher by the way so he's just he's just traded in God for the the dogma of the left that's his religion he's still a preacher and you're not allowed to tolerate this person because You don't support his views.
	Now, when it comes to the Holocaust, he's a revisionist, they like to call themselves, they say it wasn't six million, it was less, they weren't gassed, they were starved to death, it was horrible, but we need to get over it.
	I disagree with that, I think it was six million Jews, but who gives a shit?
	If I met someone who didn't think that Mao killed 80 million, I'd go, you know you're wrong about the Great Leap Forward, right?
	Or if they didn't think that Stalin was responsible for 40 million deaths, I'd go, dude, Stalin was, actually, I have talked to Nick about Stalin, he likes Stalin.
	He goes, you really whipped Russia into shape.
	I go, dude, he murdered 40 million people.
	He's literally tens of times worse than Hitler.
	He's like, well, Hitler was, you know, we need to stop talking about how evil Hitler was.
	OK, I disagree with you on that, sir.
	Mao, Hitler, Stalin, bad.
	Who cares?
	Guess what?
	I've got some great news for you people watching.
	If you disagree with me, you are allowed to travel.
	If you disagree with me, you are allowed to sleep in a place.
	I permit that.
	If you really want to see who Nick is, check out the Just Pearly things that just went on.
	He's just sitting there talking and explaining his views.
	If you got a problem with it, go fuck yourself.
	Big deal!
	Why are we so scared of ideas?
	I'm getting sidetracked here.
	The reason I bring him up is because I was just thinking, like, whenever I talk to him we're laughing about something.
	Laughing about, I don't know, rap or I was laughing about him having a drink thrown in his face.
	Or he got ketchup thrown at him.
	I was like, dude, I saw you throw the drink back.
	You need adrenaline control.
	By the time it left your cup, it was missed.
	Because your heart was pounding so fast, you're like...
	If you're going to throw a soda at someone, you've got to sort of hi-yah.
	You want it to maintain its shape as it shoots across the Chick-fil-A onto your enemies.
	I think we got brunch or breakfast before that, and they gave us a fancy little bottle of ketchup that we brought.
	And when we met him, we were like, there you go, buddy.
	Because he got ketchup for him.
	Oh yeah, because he got ketchup for him.
	The night before.
	It was a very funny joke.
	Yeah, always laughing, always having fun.
	Like, the guy is constantly smiling.
	And you're like, this is your devil?
	Like, when I look at the left's devils, I see murderers, I see pedophiles, I see people involved in disgusting levels of corruption involving millions, sometimes billions of dollars.
	Look at the retarded President of the United States.
	We're just learning today about his corruption and him His deals all across the world, using his powers as Vice President, this is back in Obama days, to broker deals around the world involving millions and millions of dollars.
	We're also hearing about what his daughter, saying that she took inappropriate showers with him.
	We see him sniffing kids, wrapping his hands around kids.
	Those are our bad guys!
	Your bad guys are like, he has bad views about something that happened in World War II.
	Okay.
	Like, isn't it amazing that pedophiles on the left are like, well, you did write a pretty convincing dissertation about being attracted to maps, minor attracted people.
	Actually, you know what?
	We're going to give you tenure.
	We're gonna give you tenure.
	They can have Drag Queen Story Hour, then we find out the guy doing the Drag Queen Story Hour molested kids.
	All right, well, that's just one example.
	All those gays who adopted, what do they do?
	Oh, they use the kid they adopted for pornography.
	Well, I mean, you have Catholic priests.
	It was a problem in the 80s and they were gay priests, but you seem to have your priorities all wrong.
	The villains we see on your side are satanic.
	The villains on our side are funny dudes you disagree with.
	And the point of this whole green screen is to say they're not just funny dudes.
	They're some of the funnest people I've ever partied with.
	Like I've toured with bands and hung out with comedians.
	They're not as funny and as interesting as the people on this list.
	That's the crux of this video I'm trying to make.
	Comedians are actually kind of depressing in real life.
	Next.
	Alex Jones.
	You know what Alex Jones wants to do?
	He wants to punch you.
	All right, how about this?
	You get five punches right here, and then I get one.
	I'm like, okay, I box.
	And I've had a little brother.
	So not only do I get the concept of you've got to use your whole hip and everything to get a punch, I also know the charley horse rules of if you want to leave a bruise, you kind of got to point your knuckles down.
	Like if you want to get a good charley horse, you got to kind of go bonk like that.
	It's not about power, the charley horse.
	So I'm trying to combine the two, and I'm punching him.
	Dude, it's like punching wood.
	It fucked up my wrist punching him, those whatever five punches he gave me.
	Then he punched me.
	I thought the SWAT team was using a battery gram to get inside my body.
	It was like, kaboom!
	And I moved about four feet.
	Let's go get some steak.
	We're getting steaks in Austin.
	People are coming up to him.
	My mom loves you.
	You're a huge inspiration.
	This is in Austin, by the way.
	Berkeley of Texas.
	And he's, isn't that fucking delicious?
	Can you believe how good that is?
	And a typical thing with Alex Jones, Very few people that can do those kind of punches where being punched in the arm feels like you're punched in the nuts.
	See, I'm trying to get my knuckle down in it.
	It's not a normal boxing punch.
	But anyway, it's like you think he grew up with a bunch of brothers, you know?
	crying No, he's faking it.
	Anyway.
	It's like a dad fakes his kid hanging out.
	Oh, that's a good one, bucko.
	It's not a very, like, this is a glamorous punch, but that doesn't leave a black bruise the way getting at an angle does.
	Anyway.
	One time I had a conversation with Alex Jones, an honest conversation, about how much would you have to be paid to eat out Hillary Clinton.
	And we talked about it for, like, half an hour.
	Like, okay, well you gotta understand, you remember on that show, Silicon Valley, where they talk about dicks?
	Like how many dicks you could jerk off in an hour?
	And they start getting into the physics of it, and they make a whole chart about how you could have one dick here and one dick here, and that would be two dicks, and they work out, like, You could jerk off.
	They spend like a day on it.
	That's the kind of thing Alex Jones wants to do, outside of politics.
	And it's like, we both came with a number of like a million dollars, but then we realized the problem is the next time you go to go down on your wife, you have that Hillary thing in your head.
	So now you've ruined pussy eating, possibly for your life.
	So now the question becomes, how much would you have to be paid to destroy pussy eating forever?
	The media portrays this psychotic evil man who says nothing but bullshit.
	Meanwhile, out of the 10 million things he's said since public access in the 90s, he's been wrong like once.
	Sandy Hook.
	Okay.
	CNN is... What about the New York Times and the weapons of mass destruction that we sent?
	How many people to die?
	5,000 teenagers to die in Iraq based on the New York Times' myth.
	No, no problem.
	Don't worry about that.
	That's a good myth.
	That's fine.
	CNN is wrong on a daily basis with nothing burger after nothing burger.
	Look at the Donald Trump fucking Steele dossier.
	We had Obama spying on the Trump administration.
	The left has lies piled to the ceiling.
	Alex Jones makes one mistake and says, I don't know, I don't think Sandy Hook was real because His fans go and harass the parents of Sandy Hook.
	He's got to pay what?
	30 million dollars?
	That would be insane.
	No, billions.
	I think it's up to over a trillion now.
	Totally unpayable bills.
	And he just keeps firing away.
	So the Alex Jones that the media has portrayed is the opposite of the regular guy you meet.
	A lot of these guys on this list too like Kumia, Nick, Alex Jones, they remind me of dudes in bands like who have been on a tour bus for a long time and they know how to like riff with dudes and let's do shots and like let's see how long you can hold your breath.
	You know what I mean?
	Like fun dude shit.
	And the reason they've chosen this vocation is they genuinely care about other people.
	The left cares about themselves as individuals.
	Hi, I'm Dylan Mulvaney.
	I've been a girl for 365 days.
	Me, me, me, me, me.
	Alex Jones, Peter Brimelow.
	We need borders.
	We need to preserve this.
	We need to preserve that.
	We need to make sure there's a future for America.
	You're talking about hundreds of millions of people versus one.
	And are you seeing a pattern here?
	These guys are anti-establishment.
	They are anti-DNC.
	They're anti-corruption.
	Therefore, they must go.
	Next.
	Number eight, Roger Stone.
	Much more mellow than all of these other dudes.
	Doesn't want to do shots with you, but a great guy to have dinner with.
	It's funny, I had dinner with him and Tucker Carlson once, who I think is next on the list, yeah.
	And we were like, yeah, corruption, these people, oh my god, they're the death of mankind, you know.
	And then I would say, they're disgusting perverts, too, these sodomites.
	And Roger and Tucker, we'd all be on the same page, and then whenever I said perverts or something, Roger would be like, Well, I don't know.
	Chaka Sangu, you know?
	Each to his own taste.
	I was like, oh yeah, you're kind of a sexaholic.
	Not a sexaholic, but he has his fun with the ladies.
	And I obviously have no problem with that.
	So he's a fun and interesting dude.
	He wants to show you how to make spaghetti.
	Oh yeah, the left wants him to rot in jail and then in hell.
	Why?
	Because Roger Stone told Trump he should run for office.
	That's his crime.
	What is his actual crime on the books?
	Did you get an email from Julian Assange?
	I don't think so.
	Yeah, you did.
	You just lied.
	And that means you're disrupting an investigation.
	That means you need to go to jail for 10 years, and because you're 70, you'll die in there, motherfucker.
	Don't lie about emails!
	That's his crime.
	John Brennan does the exact same thing.
	He gets a contributorship at CNN.
	Because he's on the side of the establishment.
	And I think John Brennan's a fucking Muslim, but that's for another day.
	Talk to Roger Stone about JFK.
	The guy is the most interesting person I've ever spoken to, and he's got what Jared Taylor calls a sticky brain.
	So, I've read a million books and knew a million things.
	It all fell out the back.
	My brain is like a truck with the flap down, and as we go over bumps, information falls out the back.
	His fucking mind is a steel trap.
	And he remembers everything.
	So when you talk to him about the politics of the 60s, 70s, 80s, talk to him about Reagan or Nixon or JFK, he remembers like the Secretary of State then, every single detail.
	Fascinating dude!
	And again, the thing I find in common with all these is like, you want a drink?
	How are you doing?
	You all right?
	Like buying shots.
	Try this.
	You got to try this.
	This is delicious.
	Look at that.
	Telling you tips.
	Hey, the steakhouses are always full.
	Keene's is always full on a Friday, but go for lunch.
	Get the cheeseburger.
	The cheeseburger at a steakhouse?
	It's another world.
	It'll blow your mind.
	Fights you over for lunch.
	They're always like, get over here.
	Come on.
	What are you doing for lunch?
	Come on over here.
	You know what I mean?
	And I've heard Trump was that way too.
	I've never met him, but I heard he's very like, So what's going on, does your daughter still have that skin thing on her nose?
	Did you get that checked out?
	It can't be cancer, she's too young.
	Then he remembers like two weeks later, so you did check it out?
	Yeah, that's kind of a concern.
	So is she, now she's thinking about what, Bard?
	Ooh, pretty lefty school.
	Does she have the grades?
	Like, the Secret Service used to have to rush him.
	Go, sir, don't worry about my daughter, she's fine.
	No, my son, yes, he's varsity, junior varsity.
	Yeah, he wanted varsity.
	Sir, we gotta go, we gotta go.
	He's like, okay.
	I bet he could have got varsity.
	All of these people care about you and the left hates that because they're about individualism.
	Me, me, me, me, me.
	I don't want to disparage individualism.
	Fuck the team.
	That's gay.
	So for all the villainous, is that a word?
	Uh, for all the evil that surrounds Roger Stone, when you talk to the left, he's one of the sweetest, kindest, and most interesting people I've ever met.
	Top tier.
	If he was a fucking mechanic, I'd go, you gotta meet this fucking guy, Roger Stone, who works on my car.
	The guy's fucking fascinating.
	Let's do a dinner thing together.
	You gotta hear this guy talk.
	Next is Tucker Carlson, I assume.
	Yeah, I remember having dinner.
	I told you already about him and Roger.
	We had dinner at this steakhouse in DC and Roger had just been attacked by some dude who was really benevolent when he met him, but he was lying.
	And then he, this is Roger Stone I'm talking about, then the guy had a few drinks and he finally got his Irish up and then said like, you're a fucking Nazi on the way out.
	But we had he had proud boys volunteering to look after so I walk in the restaurant There's like four proud boys at the table.
	I mean at the bar.
	Hey guys.
	What the fuck are you doing here?
	We're here for Roger, okay?
	Protecting the guy from getting his ass kicked by lunatics who jumped him They jumped his wife beat the living shit out of his wife when he was walking the dog You don't hear about any of this in the media because all you know is they're villains you don't know about them getting constantly attacked Wanting to murder.
	Ann Coulter was almost jumped at a restaurant.
	The only reason they chickened out, Antifa turned around because Proud Boys were there to make sure she's okay.
	The depiction, the media, the perception versus a reality with these people is shocking.
	It's propaganda.
	It's Soviet levels propaganda.
	All lies.
	So Tucker Carlson is a Nazi because he discusses replacement theory, which is a white supremacist talking point.
	The second part of that is true.
	It is a white supremacist talking point.
	So is the importance of having food in case the shit hits the fan.
	So is the importance of Christianity.
	All dogs are mammals, all cats are mammals, all dogs are not cats.
	Nazis use this symbol because it means liberals are nuts about racism and it's fun to fuck with them.
	You know who else uses this?
	Everyone who thinks liberals are nuts about racism and they likes to fuck with them.
	It means this.
	It means fuck liberals.
	But they go, no this is a white supremacist thing.
	Hitler used toilet paper.
	I use toilet paper.
	That doesn't mean that we have the same views.
	So the replacement theory is offensive if you believe that Jews are purposely replacing whites because they hate whites and they want to destroy America.
	Whites are being replaced!
	The DNC is very open about that.
	So, I know, um, minutiae, I know counterintuitive thinking, I know nuance is verboten on the left, but there's some nuance here.
	The far-right Nazis think it's a Jewish conspiracy.
	The normal not-lefts, like me and Tucker and everyone else on this list, notice that it's happening.
	But we don't blame the Jews.
	I personally blame the DNC, because they've noticed that open borders mean more votes.
	If Hispanics, if Mexicans started voting right, the border would be made of gold, it would be 60 feet high, and it would go completely across the southern United States.
	There'd be zero chance of Mexicans getting in if they didn't vote right.
	And the fact that Mexicans are displacing American natives, when I say natives I don't mean Indians obviously, I mean the native population, they don't give a shit.
	There's no grand plan there.
	So replacement theory is not a theory.
	It's a fact.
	It's happening.
	The motive behind it is the only thing we disagree on.
	And Tucker doesn't agree with the Nazis' idea of what the motive is.
	He agrees with the normal idea of what the motive is.
	And this is the guy, of course, from the Anti-Defamation League, a company that was formed to defend a Jewish rapist murderer.
	They decided to take the anti-Semitic angle after he was lynched.
	He was lynched because he was going to be let free.
	Anyway, fuck the ADL.
	Fuck Jonathan Greenblatt.
	And this guy, Dinner with him a bunch of times.
	Fucking hilarious dude.
	Doesn't necessarily want to talk about politics.
	Let's talk about chicks.
	Let's talk about sex.
	Let's talk about about our wives.
	Let's talk about our kids.
	Boarding school.
	He gave me a great tip once.
	He goes, you know, the thing about boarding school is teenagers naturally have this sort of aversion, right, to their parents.
	There's this conflict there that's that's genetic.
	It's natural.
	But when they're at boarding school, the teenager has this adverse relationship with the school and the teachers.
	It's natural, right?
	And he's like, this teacher's trying to tell me what to do.
	We want to ride our machines without being hassled by the man.
	And then the parent is like, yeah, I'm spending 60 grand a year for you to go to this school.
	They better be teaching you well.
	So now there's sort of a unity there.
	He also, I go, dude, you didn't tell me sending your daughter off to school.
	Holy shit.
	It's like a steamroller being run over.
	And he was like, yeah.
	He goes, even today I could just mention and start crying.
	So, you know, this guy wants to help you and your family.
	He's also funny, and I think the thing about Tucker is, and I get this from dudes in bands, I think because he went to boarding school as a kid, those guys, I noticed this with the band The Strokes, too.
	Actually, The Strokes have both things that make you funny, being at an all-boys school and going on tour with bands.
	Fred Armisen is funny because he went on tour with a lot of bands.
	But the thing about being with all dudes at a boys school when you're 13 is you become good at riffing.
	Breaking each other's balls, talking about absolutely anything.
	Like talk to Tucker Carlson about lawns.
	The guy's read every book there is about grass maintenance.
	If his lawn at his house in Florida, there is not one yellow blade.
	He's meticulous, totally obsessed with having a great lawn and maintaining a great lawn.
	The guy, the guy up at his place in Maine, he fucking eats what he shoots.
	Like if he's alone up there, because I think his kids are all away at school now, they're all grown.
	He's just like hunting and stripping.
	Like when I say stripping, I mean working at a strip club showing off his cock.
	No, stripping the skin off the meat.
	So very similar to Roger Stone.
	He's like a funnier, more rambunctious Roger Stone.
	Villain, racist.
	Not one of these people on this list is remotely racist, and some of them are more politically correct than you.
	And number 10, this guy is seen as an absolute nightmare.
	He started a hate group.
	Just having him on your show will violate your terms of service.
	You'll be permanently suspended if you give him a platform, I believe.
	Is the verbiage, uh, I'm a violent white supremacist hosting a comedy tour?
	Like even that, even that headline, this, what is his name, Justin Horowitz?
	Doesn't that sound weird to you?
	That a violent white supremacist is also doing a comedy tour?
	Like, who's a violent- there was that Nazi skinhead band in Britain, Combat 18.
	Not band.
	Crew.
	Gang.
	Do you really see them having a comedy tour?
	As they go about- so that's the perception, of course.
	That's why I'm banned and there's riots at Penn State when I dare to talk.
	I'm actually a sweetie.
	I'm actually one of the nicest, funniest, kindest people you'll ever meet.
	I leave alarmingly large tips.
	I've never been MeToo'd.
	I've never attacked anyone.
	I'm not malicious.
	I'm one of the nicest guys I know.
	When I was young, I was the only guy in town.
	And I think the takeaway from all this is the left doesn't like anyone on this list because they're charming.
	They don't support leftist values, they support Trump, not Ann anymore, but they support traditionalism, conservatism, they're patriots, they're anti-establishment, they're anti-vax, they're anti-Big Pharma, they're pro-unity, they're pro-independence, they're pro-freedom, and the fear from the establishment is You might fall in love with us.
	That's why we're banned.
	You don't have to tell them.
	Oh, shoot.
	I forgot the link for this, but there's a new show out on, I don't know, not HBO, NBC, where some lunatic said Sandy Hook didn't happen and got everyone killed and he's evil.
	Did I?
	I didn't include that link, did I?
	I don't see it, but I'm looking.
	Uh-oh.
	Low battery.
	Your Mac will sleep soon unless plugged into a power cord.
	Bitch.
	It's a show about Alex Jones?
	Yeah, just look up Sandy Hook Base TV Show with female Alex Jones.
	My computer might die soon.
	I'm really down to almost nothing.
	You do have the phone.
	Yeah, yeah, no, I also have a fucking power cord, but did you find it yet?
	No, I typed in exactly that.
	Sandy, S-A-N-D-Y-S, hook, based, TV, show.
	Right, and then female Alex Jones.
	Yep.
	Nothing?
	Nope.
	Okay, I guess I'll forward it to you then, if that's easier.
	I don't understand why you would have different emails from me.
	I'm just a gay homosexual.
	S-A-N-D-Y-S.
	No apostrophe.
	Okay.
	I'll just do female Alex.
	Female Alex Jones.
	That's good.
	Female Alex Jones.
	So what were you typing in that was wrong before?
	The exact thing that you said before.
	That's not true, Ryan.
	You're never wrong.
	Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
	My son was killed.
	Shootings like these, they're preventable.
	Let's just see some proof.
	Are we in the mailbag?
	We're not suckers!
	She has thousands of followers.
	They're never gonna stop.
	Ever!
	None of this is real.
	How do we know we're real?
	We're gonna get you.
	No more lies!
	Accused all new next Tuesday at 9 on Fox.
	That looks like shit.
	My kids stole my power cord.
	Damn.
	They took it out of my briefcase.
	I've been robbed.
	That's a power... Robbed?
	Blame-a-bye!
	That's a great thing my dad taught me, by the way.
	He was always, when we would compete, he was always, like, competitive.
	He wanted to win, but he wanted me to win, too.
	You know what I mean?
	Right.
	And when we were playing pool, it was never like, ha-ha, you missed it, bitch.
	Sometimes there was.
	Like, if I was way too soft, he'd go, Loreen, you got a girl!
	You got your wish!
	Because I didn't hit it hard enough to go in.
	But if it was a good shot and it just missed by a pube, he'd always go, robbed blind, my boy.
	Robbed blind.
	Sorry, I had to go check for a power cord.
	Did you watch the whole thing?
	Oh yeah.
	So Alex Jones is the chick.
	Yeah.
	I guess they don't have her having a big, big show, but thousands of followers and she just does it with a ring light in her room.
	That's probably a better budget thing to do.
	Okay, you're right.
	Alex Jones, Sandy Hook was bad.
	What should his fine be?
	Should it be a trillion?
	What should it be?
	Zero is what it should be.
	That's the way it works.
	You say, I was wrong.
	Oh, before we, let's get to the mailbag, but before we do, let's give a little shout out to Anita Fashions.
	I sent you their schedule.
	He's on JV, boys!
	No way, cool!
	That was stressful.
	And to that, we should say, congratulations.
	Wait, the few emoji doesn't look happy.
	It looks like you're crying.
	Um, yeah, Nita Fashions is going to be in your hood soon.
	And you know what I saw today at the f***ing Shiznit?
	Um, a green corduroy suit.
	I thought I'm getting that and I've also decided recently I'm gonna get Malcolm McLaren suit in the great rock and roll swindle and see if they can even make me that little flap and Then I can easily make a cash from chaos t-shirt right lap me up doggy Have you got that well?
	I've got this oh You already made that all fancy.
	Oh, I sure did Okay, so let me read it out here, because they WhatsAppped me.
	So they're in New York.
	So again, go to, you can call them on his mobile, but you can go to Nita Fashion's, their website or their Instagram page.
	You can DM them and make an appointment, as you see here.
	They're in New York, March 28th till April 2nd at the Towers at New York Lotte Palace Hotel.
	Can I get a suit?
	Sure.
	Yeah!
	Uh, they're in Boston right after that, the next day, April 3rd to 5th.
	And I'm telling you what hotel they're at, but I don't really have to.
	Cause you're going to, obviously when you make your appointment, they're going to tell you what hotel to be at.
	Um, Washington DC then right after April 6, 7, 8.
	And then they go down to Houston, Texas.
	April 10, 11, 12.
	Dallas, Texas.
	April 17th to 19th.
	Chicago.
	Oh, I'm going to get my cousin to go there.
	April 20 to 23.
	Oh, you know what?
	Let me write that down on my to-do list.
	They got here.
	If you go to AnitaFashions.com, the tour schedule, you type in schedule.
	Bam.
	Bam.
	Look at that.
	LA.
	April 27th to 29th San Francisco April 30th to May 1st and then the party's over and remember you should be at our insanely funny comedy show on April 1st which is next week right yes and it's not a April Fool's prank No.
	Some people ask me about that.
	We would not do that.
	That's fucking lame.
	No, I wouldn't do something like that.
	What about your fake arrest?
	I was worried.
	Yeah, I'd have you worried.
	That's free.
	I'm not going to steal your fucking money.
	I'm not going to steal your money.
	I promise.
	I hereby commit, I'll never have a fundraiser where it doesn't go to the thing.
	I swear on my life.
	And we want to make you laugh.
	And we have a trailer for the... Oh yeah, let's show the commercial.
	I can't believe I forgot to show it yesterday, by the way.
	My bad, too.
	I was feeling a little sick and stupid.
	We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.
	Who taught you to hate the color of your skin to such extent that you bleach to get like the white man?
	and there was a fat kid, I think his name was Piggy, in the Bass Street Kids. - After years of bigotry, transphobia, and ableism, the boys are getting the band back together for the "And the boys are getting the band back together for the "And Racism" Get your tickets now at tinyorl.com slash censored live.
	Well done.
	Good stuff.
	I have no notes.
	Nice.
	I really did bare bones on that, but I think sometimes that's what it takes.
	Yeah.
	It's all about la livre rouge, the red book.
	You take the book first and you put the red in.
	Don't just take the red and try to make a book out of it.
	Start with what people need and when they need it.
	I need this by today.
	Okay.
	It's going to be shitty.
	Good.
	It doesn't have to be the fucking Godfather.
	All right, we're going real long here on today's ep on St.
	Patrick's Day.
	I want to get back to drinking.
	Not that I've ever stopped, but let's check out the mailbag.
	Oh wait, one more thing.
	I did want to mention this before, but I thought it was like too early to bring it up.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	I think that would really be good, in addition to the show, at least.
	Racism allegations!
	Why are so obsessed with deflecting racism allegations?
	I'd like to ask you, why are so terrible at writing a sentence?
	It's no different than deflecting transphobia allegations.
	As you say, transphobia is perfectly natural.
	Racism is also natural.
	It's perfectly natural to prefer your in-group.
	Look at neighborhoods.
	Yes, everyone does it.
	Everyone self-segregates.
	I'm adding my own notes here.
	There's no external force causing this.
	Diversity is a myth.
	We all prefer our group.
	Blah blah blah blah blah.
	The way you extensively try your best to convince people that you're not racist is a relentless boomer cringe.
	And it shows that you don't get it.
	When you defend yourself against it, you're doing a little dance for the retards who don't understand nature and who reject nature in favor of worldview of kindness and rainbows.
	Fucking let it go.
	It's embarrassing.
	Okay?
	Good points in there.
	Hi Gavin and company, I wanna share a few more reasons for your subscribers to buy a suit.
	Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	I gotta, before we read that.
	Jump the medic.
	What?
	No, no, we're gonna get to that.
	Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
	Calm down, calm down.
	What the fudge?
	What did this, there was a funny email that someone sent us with this black woman.
	Oh, I know.
	I looked up racism.
	I should have looked racist.
	Um, fudge.
	Don't worry.
	It's going to, it's going to be worth it.
	Yeah, here we go.
	Look up Gavin, Gavin, liberal voice, IRL.
	We'll do more on this later, but you got to see the beginning of this video.
	Cause it's, it's, it goes well with that last letter.
	Wait, stop.
	It's really hard.
	He doesn't give you any leeway because he's a handsome guy and handsome people are stupid just like bimbos are stupid.
	He's a himbo.
	But she was just saying it's not okay to be white.
	It's just a matter of color and color shouldn't come in the way of anything.
	That seems pretty fair.
	It is very fair.
	How about your shirt?
	A lot of people that we would speak to today would call what you're saying racist.
	Yeah, I am racist.
	What's going on everyone?
	There we go.
	What are you eating?
	Oh, that's like some Mexican shit.
	Like it's like a chorito?
	Calico and Esparito, I think.
	That looks like garbage.
	Okay, so I want to share a few more reasons for your subscribers to buy a suit from Nita Fashions.
	Wear a suit when traveling.
	I agree with that.
	Flight attendants really love it.
	It's like you're showing them respect.
	They know that they're not gonna have to haul you out of the fuselage.
	Whatever.
	Yeah.
	I was once upgraded to first class when the only remaining seat on an overbooked flight was either going to a loudmouth rude customer or to me wearing a suit.
	Another time I was 50 deep on the waiting list for standby yet in my suit somehow managed to get a boarding pass.
	Dealing with public or private disputes slash negotiations it's always best to have a suit on.
	He also adds, I find that it always helps and never hurts to be well-dressed when dealing with public slash private disputes negotiations.
	You just said the same thing twice.
	So even dumb people can benefit from having a suit.
	What the fuck?
	Here's another brand new point.
	I wear a suit whenever I have to resolve a dispute, return a product or buy a... I gotta email this guy.
	A suit dispute.
	You just said the same thing three times.
	What?
	I'm gonna say, do suits also make you repeat things three times?
	A different suit for each one.
	What a moron.
	The last car I bought was six years old and at that time I was still dealing with the consequences of a bankruptcy from 2007.
	But while I'd been approved by my bank, somehow, once everything was added up, it didn't quite meet the income requirements.
	I went to the dealer.
	So even losers benefit from suits is what I'm getting from this.
	While I can't prove that the suit closed the deal, it certainly didn't hurt.
	In fact, I remember the finance manager commenting on it.
	I recommend wearing it in all government-issued photos IDs.
	I think it smooths the way to have your passport photo.
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Okay, so this guy's got some points.
	He's special needs, but he's right.
	PS if you get arrested they usually publish the photo from your driver's license.
	All the more reason to look smart.
	Sounds like this guy's British.
	What was the thing I was supposed to do on the letters page?
	Jump medic?
	Oh yeah.
	Jump medic.
	Here's a little update.
	The exclusion of LGBTQ plus groups from Staten Island St.
	Patrick's Day Parade leads to dwindling business and low turnout.
	That sucks.
	Low turnout?
	I wish!
	It was a mob scene.
	You know who was in the St.
	Patrick's Day Parade today?
	Everyone.
	Well they said the Staten Island one.
	Okay.
	That's probably because it's the Staten Island one.
	Yeah.
	This is from today.
	He's kind of messed up how like you can be like oh have a nice old fun time and you put the O there and then that would be looked as racist if it was a different race.
	Okay so this guy goes does the kit come with a laryngoscope?
	I guess that's the thing you stick through your neck.
	Not sure why you would include a stethoscope unless you can also intubate with that kit.
	And then he says I saw there's people asking about Narcan and laryngoscope.
	Our Jump Medic Elite does have Narcan, but it's sold to people who have a medical license.
	They need to check a box saying they have a license.
	And laryngoscope is a pretty invasive tool.
	That's to be used when an endotracheal tube down someone's trachea, which requires, no, that's to be used with I see.
	An endotracheal tube down someone's trachea, which requires extensive training in regulated narcotics and drugs to paralyze someone.
	Ah, I see.
	So it's not that simple.
	It's not that funny.
	Why pretend that you don't worry?
	You think it's funny?
	Sex and violence.
	Well, there's no point in putting an endotracheal tube on that dude.
	He's been beheaded.
	Medical people are so stupid sometimes.
	And be shouldered.
	This may be a...
	But Scary Perry is going to be coming to the East Coast and performing with Anthony on May 13th in Pottstown, PA.
	Perry's also going to appear on Anthony's show, as well as Chrissy Meyer's show.
	See the artwork below for proof.
	If you feel like you need to get in on this, would you be interested in reprising William Randolph Hearst?
	Perry is already on edge about leaving his piece of shit apartment to travel.
	You could really make him go insane.
	I think it's time that William Randolph Hearst and Perry got in the ring.
	What do you say, folks at home?
	I heard- A prairious applause?
	He was interested.
	Dude, who made this fucking flyer?
	Who made a flyer that involved and forgot the date?
	I feel bad because it might be just like a compound guy.
	What kind of fucking idiot forgets the date on a flyer that involved?
	Doors open at 5 p.m.
	On what day do they open?
	What a loser.
	Nay, in part.
	Kidney transplants are racist?
	Long time mailer, first time viewer.
	I am 35, awaiting a kidney transplant.
	I've been on the donor list and dialysis for just shy of 18 months.
	I was told last year I had to receive at least one COVID shot even to be on the national list.
	I'm now being bumped because I'm not black?
	We are living in South Africa, folks.
	I attached a letter that was sent to all transplant patients on our online portals for the hospital.
	And it says, you received this letter because you are registered on the waiting list, blah, blah, blah, to a patient waiting time for kidney cancer registered as black or African American.
	What about like African Americans who just came from Kenya because they are part of the ruling elite there?
	And they drive a Ferrari and have a collection of Rolexes.
	Why did they get a kidney sooner?
	All kidney transplant programs to look at their waiting list to see if any registered black or african-american candidates could receive waiting time.
	What is the difference between blacks and african-americans?
	I've never seen that before.
	Black or african-american.
	I thought african-american or are they saying like that's the same word?
	I don't know because Jamaicans are they african-american?
	I don't know they're not they're neither of any of that shit.
	Yeah.
	Black, African-American, African-American, or Caribbean.
	Cannons could receive waiting time because, well, anyway, you get the idea.
	By the way, based on the flyer, you ever see this?
	Pretty bad, right?
	Yep, sucks.
	Now, what about this one?
	Major improvement.
	Cluttered, but okay.
	That was one of my first photoshops.
	Who likes Art Deco?
	I love Art Deco, personally.
	Okay, well, it's well known in the graphic design community as the worst moment in our entire history.
	Just so you know.
	What?
	I disagree.
	I mean... No, it's not.
	It's just a fact, Ryan.
	But what about skyscrapers?
	Yeah, it's embarrassing.
	What?!
	They look like trains because the elites back then in the 20s were all riding trains.
	So you want everything to look like a train.
	It's hideous and the fonts are especially bad.
	All right, let's get to the final vid.
	I can't wait to throw these papers, boys.
	That's a great thing about Fridays with all the sponsors.
	We have a stack of papers, and when I throw them, it's fuckin' rainin' notes!
	Hallelujah, it's a rainin' notes!
	Thy groats!
	Thy groats.
	My son asked me today, he goes, how much would you have to pay to snort cocaine?
	My 10 year old.
	What?
	He's heard of drugs.
	When our dog got hit by a car, broke his leg, he was on drugs.
	And he was like, Leroy's on cocaine.
	How much would I have to be paid?
	How much have I paid?
	It's probably a small fortune.
	So some baby monster sent this in and said it made him cry and he thinks it's gonna make us cry like we're a bunch of bitches.
	I'm basically Chinese when it comes to these kind of things.
	I have no soul, no emotions.
	I am so disappointed in you Americans for being so sentimental.
	It's embarrassing, man.
	Why'd you gotta be so sentimental?
	Grow a ball.
	You're so Chinese, you're Latina.
	Here in China, we don't care.
	It's got a fucking pulse thing for your finger.
	Damn.
	Look at that.
	Uh, what's it called?
	That's a, yeah, a pulso.
	Fingertip oximeter.
	Well, you can meet her all the time.
	Look at this.
	This is a great follow on Twitter.
	The Cultural Tutor.
	You won't regret it.
	Hideous.
	Disgusting.
	Unreal.
	And then he'll tell you why.
	Yeah, I love that.
	I love the Cultural Tutor.
	Is he defending Art Deco?
	Yeah.
	Because it's it's probably like, you know, a little an outsider opinion, which is always interesting and welcome.
	This guy's always on point, but that's hideous.
	How?
	That's why I the thing I like least about Charles Rennie Macintosh is it has this sort of throwback to fucking or throwback throw forward, I guess, in his case, to Art Deco.
	And it's yucky.
	It wasn't a total rejection.
	It makes me think of Atlas Shrugged and Ayn Rand kind of fake worlds.
	Yeah.
	Or like a dystopian future or something?
	Yeah, it's depressing.
	A total rejection of the past as much as an update, he says.
	It wasn't a total rejection.
	There's riches to it.
	That's fucking gorge, man.
	That's cool.
	It kind of has a Scientology vibe.
	That's true.
	Now I don't like it.
	Alright, can we stop talking about your terrible taste in art?
	I just don't want to cry, is all.
	Which I won't!
	If you cry from this, you're Dylan Mulvaney levels fag.
	Sir, sorry to bother you.
	I'm trying to buy this Canucks shirt for my kid.
	Do you have a dollar?
	Vancouver Hockey team, Vancouver Canucks.
	Do you have a dollar short for this shirt for my kid?
	It's his birthday today.
	Oh!
	Wait, do we?
	What's your name?
	David.
	I'm Zach, nice to meet you, man.
	Hey, how's it going?
	What's your name, bro?
	Uh, Jace.
	I'm Zach.
	Nice to meet you.
	You like hockey?
	Yeah.
	Who's your favorite team?
	Uh, Canucks.
	There you go.
	Are you sure?
	Yeah, that's all I got, so.
	I don't want to take five bucks, I only need the Canucks.
	No, it's for your kid.
	You sure?
	Yeah, of course.
	It's your son?
	Yeah.
	I'm actually gonna give this back.
	No, no.
	Take it.
	Sure?
	It was a kindness test.
	Oh.
	This is actually for him.
	Oh, no, no.
	Eat.
	I actually got this for you.
	Thank you very much.
	No problem.
	And I actually got a surprise for you.
	The first person who is going to help me out of $1,000.
	What?
	Cash.
	No.
	It's $1,000.
	Actually?
	I'm 100% positive, bro.
	Can I give you a hug by any chance?
	Yeah, of course.
	Love you, man.
	Thank you so much.
	Can you use it?
	He just had his chemo.
	I had no idea, man.
	Love you.
	Are you a big Canucks fan?
	Yeah.
	You're going to the Canucks game?
	Yeah.
	Right now.
	We're going to meet all the players.
	What are you talking about?
	We're going to the Canucks game?
	I don't even know what that means.
	We're going to the Canucks game right now.
	That's awesome.
	Let's go.
	Who's going to win tonight, Jake?
	I got it!
	We're going in to meet the players.
	Not many people get stole off of the community.
	Like, this is like the best day of my life.
	Was he just vaping?
	No.
	That was nice.
	Pretty good.
	I'm moist.
	I've seen this a few times now already.
	So I'm about as moist as my wife's pussy, I guess, on our wedding night, which is about as moist as it got.
	Pretty good.
	Pretty good, guys.
	I'm not fully sopping wet, though.
	All right, thanks for tuning in.
	We got a fun weekend ahead.
	I thought that was a great way to remind everyone how lucky we are to be here.
	And although we portray a lot of negative things here, you can get a little down, life is still 100% better than it was 100 years ago.
	And what were you going to say?
	You don't cry tears in Canada.
	It's so cold you have crysicles.
	People are gonna interrupt you and say dumb shit throughout the weekend, and you gotta be prepared for that to happen, but you also gotta just sort of stop and smell the roses, folks, and appreciate how lucky we are to be alive in this amazing time.
	The newspaper has to make it look bad.
	If it bleeds, it leads.
	But it's not bleeding outside.
	Like Bill Hicks says, you watch CNN for 24 hours, and you're like, famine, war, death, disease!
	And then you walk outside, the birds are chirping, and you realize, this is a beautiful life.
	I'm going to enjoy it.
	Pretend this weekend that you were 80, you're on your deathbed, and you wish you could have gone back in time to 2023 and just had one weekend.
	Now I'm about to tear up again.
	If you could just have one weekend with your family and you did it, you traveled back in time to the 17th of March in 2023 and you got to live it all over again.
	Congratulations.
	Welcome back to Friday, March 17th, 2023.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave and never stop fighting.
	If anyone comes to court here, you can take them to a verse.
	If anyone comes to court here, you can say you're a country lass.
	You don't have to tell them that you ever played this joke.
	That you got your half-century books racked up in a soldier's coat.
	And the drums are going a-rackin' and a-tackin' and the boys still out to play.
	Fare thee well, Polly we dare, I must be going away.

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