All Episodes
Jan. 27, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
02:21:29
GOML LIVE #180 - COPS AND ROBBER "ZIGGY'S ASSHOLE"
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McKinnon.
It's all the same.
you Only the name change when the weather feels away when the face is not so cold.
I'm driving now to get bed boy, I'm a gay boy on a steel.
Was that right?
*music*
What a gay fucking song that is.
Remember the other day we were talking about how Back in Black has gay lyrics?
Like, I'm a power pack.
Yeah.
Of course, ACDC rock.
No one's denying that.
But the lyrics that Back in Black are kind of gay out of context.
This song, I was in the car the other day, and I'm like, what?
I never really listened to it before as an adult.
You're a cowboy?
Imagine he was hanging out with ranchers, Yellowstone dudes, and they're all talking about how much cattle they wrangle.
And he's like, I'm kind of a cowboy too.
But I ride a steel horse.
They go, what?
Shut the fuck up, fag.
With this big hair.
You know, those guys each carry like a suitcase of hair products everywhere they go.
Well, they don't carry it.
Well, Chris Naracco from Jackass, he interviewed one of the dudes at the early Jackass days, and the guy had like a case that had a little tripod stand.
And it's got the spray and the stuff that he does.
Oh, Jesus.
For every time.
Welcome to GOML Live.
We're here with cops and criminals.
We, of course, have our co-host, Maddie Odell.
What's up, everybody?
Good to see you.
We're both wearing shirts that say we don't break for queefs, meaning if we are fornicating, horsing around, and there's any kind of pussy fart, it does not even register.
Non-existent.
Just plowing.
Keep driving.
We don't even pause and go, whoopsie.
There's no comment.
There's no talking.
There's no eyebrow movement whatsoever.
As if it never happened.
Also in the Patriot box, we have the cops.
We have John the cop, NYPD, South Bronx.
We have Dick Mann, the state trooper.
There's also NYPD Housing, Bomb Squad, C-9 unit.
I spent all day putting that flag behind you.
I think it looks pretty good.
Yeah, it's nice.
But we can still see your fucking glasses in the reflection.
There's a special sound effect, you know.
But I'm sorry, I just got to dwell for a second here.
Can you pull up the lyrics to Wanna Dead or Alive?
I don't know how long I could let you shit on our great pastime of rock and roll, but sure.
Oh, I'm shitting on rock and roll?
Yes.
But the video makes a rock and roll.
I know you Puerto Ricans think anyone with a guitar rocks.
He does rock, though.
Oh, God.
But the video is just as great because he's like singing on stage.
He's like with his fist out.
And then it's like black and white clips of him with some guy holding his limo door open, going on the private jet, on the tour bus, banging the window like he's in jail.
It's like, are you fucking kidding me?
And wanted means not anyone wants to kill him.
Wanted means people want me.
Like fucking Sally Fields or whatever going, you like me.
You really like me.
Oh, it's terrible.
Dude, you're cringe.
Blow it up here.
Only the name will change.
You're in a fucking very popular pop rock band and you do a lot of touring.
You're not a fucking cowboy, dude.
You ride private planes.
You hit it big.
You won the jackpot.
You're basically a Hollywood actor.
He's got a loaded six string on his back.
It's not for days.
The people I meet always go their separate ways.
You can always tell the day by the bus.
You just get wasted on private planes and go and play shows and basically karaoke your own songs and you're a cowboy?
And you don't ride the horse.
You sit in it.
People bring you champagne.
Maybe he's a brokeback mountain cowboy.
I do have to admit this is bad.
Comparing your guitar to a gun, a loaded six-string on my ball.
A loaded six-string.
Because there's a six-string.
Why don't you go up to some fucking street thug in the South Bronx and be like, you know, we're kind of the same.
You shoot bullets, I shoot notes.
You kill your ops.
I rock my ops.
Wait, I need more.
I play for keeps?
What do you mean?
Because you might not make it back.
You might die on stage from what?
Old age?
Well, the way aviation is, the private plane might crash.
I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all.
What a dork.
This is the cringiest poem I've ever read in my life.
And if you read it out of context and it wasn't a hit song, you'd go, this guy is a deluded megalomaniac.
Aren't you embarrassed?
Anyway, it's an embarrassing song.
This is a cowboy song.
Okay.
Kid rocking up and down.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm getting so old that everything is embarrassing.
Like dancing looks absurd to me.
Rap is silly.
And like that badass song, like when that first came out, I was like, yeah, Kid Rock is a cowboy, baby.
Now I'm just like, fucking grow up, dude.
He's friends with Prowboys.
How dare you?
He's a good man here.
Music in general is embarrassing.
We were talking about this the other day, metal, where they like have studded wristbands.
What?
Well, that was like Judas Priest.
You want to kill people?
Deal fentanyl.
That's satanic.
You want to be a demon?
Or work for Pfizer?
You want to be a demon?
OD people.
That's fucking dark.
Fucking growing your hair long and going on stage.
Balls to the back.
Exactly.
Balls to the wall.
So as you know, the way this show goes is it's free.
We got a couple sponsors.
We shoot the shit.
We take super chats.
We take calls.
We read letters.
And we talk to our three co-hosts.
And I don't know what Ryan is.
Detective Shitty.
A cowboy.
He's a cowboy.
I'm a cowboy.
On the VidCast I do.
And I'm wanted.
By baby monsters like you.
I ride the volume.
If you see stuff, I'll end up.
I got a gun in my face.
It's a fucking Japanese microphone.
I could die at any moment if the mic like shot me somehow.
I'm a cowboy.
You're a famous movie star, dude.
Is Brad Pitt a cowboy on his fucking steel horse?
I gotta print it.
Print it.
I'm wanted.
What up, Printy?
People want me.
I'm actually impressed Ryan doesn't have his hair in his fucking face today.
Oh, thank you for reminding me.
Oh, Jesus.
Should have kept my mouth shut.
It was really in rare form in the latest Maddie's shitty little kitchen.
It was covering my chin, basically.
Yeah, it was pathetic.
It's annoying.
Along with the delicious juices of the meal, of course.
Yeah.
I'm like a cowboy.
I'll fucking chew.
The juices dribbling down my chin.
That sounded very gay.
It ain't come.
It ain't come.
BeardFab would like to thank the Get Off My Lawn viewers for the orders streaming in over the last several weeks.
They almost can't keep up.
Remember to enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off, and there's always free shipping on orders over $40.
The New Year's sale is still going on, but it's changed slightly because of the amount of orders coming in.
The sale is now two boxes of grunt cups.
Now, those are the like Kerig-style coffee pods that they make.
They fit in any Kurig.
For $29.99.
The change is that now the zero dark 30, 12 ounce bags of coffee, whole beans or ground, are now $9.99.
They're practically giving them away.
I got a letter in the mailbag from a young man named Ziggy from Florida, and he was telling me about how much he enjoys beard vet coffee.
How would you feel about being called Ziggy?
What's the Ziggy nickname of?
Ziggy?
Ziggy Marley.
Or Marley's son.
So it's your name?
It's not a Nick Marley?
Maybe he named them after a pack of Ziggy's where you roll a blunt ass.
Oh, yeah, he definitely was.
You know, a Ziggy.
Hi, this is my son, Joint.
He was the joint roller of the crew.
He was probably stoned when he named them.
This is my son, Budweiser.
Here's the letter we got.
Hey, G-Dog Maddie and that other guy, thanks for recommending Beard Vet Coffee.
A couple weeks ago, you said, I know you're buying coffee, so buy it from someone that supports people like us.
Well, I really liked that point.
That night, I bought the two and a half pound bag that they have on special.
It's easily better than what I was getting before from other coffee companies.
Beard Vet is swagged out, and on God, it's cheaper, especially with the promo code Gavin.
It's really good quality coffee.
It doesn't give me the caffeine jitters that I sometimes get when I drink too much coffee from other whack communist coffee brands.
This letter is sounding a little too good.
Who's that from you, Sir Ziggy?
La, D, Da.
Are we committing fraud here?
And it's a huge plus that it's American-made and veteran-owned.
Bet.
Nothing wrong with that.
I love bots of beard oil because I was curious, beard curious, you might say.
And it actually does the job really well.
I usually get dry skin under my beard, and it's a lot better now that I've been using the beard vet beard oil.
Beard Vet is bussing, no cap, for real.
Okay, I think our ad guy wrote that letter to himself and sent it in.
We love Beard Vet, don't get me wrong, and we love our new ad guy.
He's competent, but I think I caught you.
I wanted to, this is now new.
We're done with that letter.
I wanted to share that with you, not only to highlight how much people are enjoying Beard Vet products, but also because I would please request that you don't ever say swagged out on Godbus and no cat.
But Sean, did you write a fake letter to us and then criticize the letter for having weird slang in it?
That's, wow, that's meta.
Wow.
This guy's working bits in the reeds.
And now he's really crapping on this anonymous dude who wrote the letter saying, what are you doing?
Your great-grandparents went off to fight in World War II at age 17.
They lied about their age, and here you are saying, no, on God, no cap, for real, for real.
I'm glad he likes the coffee, but what the hell is that?
Anyway, so he's writing a script.
First, he writes a fake letter.
And then he writes a script for me to criticize the fake letter.
This sounds like weed thoughts.
Yeah, yeah.
This guy's very weed.
You go, oh, I have a great idea, man.
Everything has one more layer than it should.
Yeah, yeah.
Is this a theory?
I'm going to write a fake letter that hits all...
I'm going to write a fake letter.
What?
Does he have a son named Ziggy?
No, actually, when I met him, he was with a broad who was like seven years older and was infertile and didn't want kids.
And I said, what are you doing, dude?
Dump her.
You know what I heard?
A lot of men are actually the problem with infertility.
And it gets attributed very commonly to women because it is common.
But there's a chance it could be the guy.
Well, in my marriage, it was the woman because she wouldn't open her legs.
Oh, that does, yes.
Yes.
Enter PromoCoGam for 15% off, beardvet.com.
Weird read, Sean.
Weird read.
Yeah, keep it less meta.
And it's like paranoid.
It's like they're going to think it was an inside job.
So let me shit on the guy I just made.
No, you're right.
You're right, Detective Shitty.
Thank you.
It was definitely something where he goes, I hit the points, but I make it a letter, and then I have Gavin make fun of my letter that I wrote that I faked.
Yeah.
And they're not going to call it out.
It's an ad.
I'm looking for the Ryan Was Right bumper, but it's played so seldom.
Oh, I got it.
Okay.
Here we go.
Is there such a thing?
It exists.
I don't know why.
No, it's not coming, but tonight Devin is wrong and Ryan is right.
I wasn't wrong.
By the way, we have a new segment on the show called Cop Talk.
And Ryan, if you check the...
If you check...
If you check the mailbag, you can just put in Cop Talk and you'll hear everyone who sent in the various songs.
I'll do so choose.
What?
That's not a phrase?
No.
That's not a phrase.
Here's one of the songs.
Fees, Mother Vites!
Cop Talk, Talk About Cops Today!
Comptalk, talk about cops tonight!
Company!
Talk about cops today!
Cop Talk!
Talk about Cops Tonight!
You want Vegas, Mother Bitch!
Oh, who's talking about cops?
That's awesome.
That's a six, I'd say, out of 10.
What?
I felt an eight energy from there, but maybe you've been privy to some better ones.
Let's see.
Here's another one.
Talk, talk, talk about Topps today.
Talk, talk, talk about.
More up, Brian Valley.
Sounds like that.
Oh, that was fun.
Short and sweet.
Here's one.
Cop, dog, dog, battle cops today.
Cop, dog, dog, battle cops today.
Not shakes.
Always talking about cops.
That reeked.
I think the middle one might be the winner.
Is that all we got?
Yeah.
I'd go for the first one.
Yeah, I like that first one.
Speaking of cops, okay, maybe you're right.
The LAPD Chief has decided that the Blue Lives Matter flag is offensive.
And you should not have it on your person.
You should not be displaying it.
What do you think of that, pigs?
Are all cops bastards?
Is that true?
Not all of them.
What is that?
You're in California, that Blue Lives Matter.
They have that at every locker and every precinct.
Well, don't forget that in New York, there was that woman who her dad was killed on duty, and she sold those sweatshirts that were part of the canine unit, and they had a Blue Lives Matter flag on the arm, and the kid was sent home from school.
Remember that?
Yeah.
Fucking heard that.
So it can be just as bad.
There was just a recent case here with a sergeant who lost during the riot.
She had a Blue Lives Matter.
What do you call it?
Sticker or Pat.
Oh, no.
She had a Trump, what do you call it?
Sticker.
Yeah.
And she lost, she got like a 30-day vacation hit, and she wound up suing because if she would have had a Black Lives Matter or is, you know, Gay Lives Matter, nobody would have said nothing.
But because it said something about Trump, you know, right away, boom, they suspend her 30 days.
The Libs went crazy when they seen that.
Wait, I'm not familiar with Gay Lives Matter.
Is that a thing?
Oh, you're rainbow.
Or the rainbow flag, yeah.
Yeah, but they never say gay lives matter.
You just made that up.
Gay lives matter.
I love that.
They all matter.
Gay lives don't matter, according to fucking Mother Nature.
You fucked for 37 hours in a row.
You invented a disease.
First, it was AIDS, then it was monkeypox.
I think nature's saying, slow it down, clown.
I'm a cowboy.
I got lesions on my face.
I'm shooting lows.
All over the place.
Got a circuit party for three days.
I got blisters on my lips.
I've been sucking too much pop.
I'm on it.
Passed out or not.
I've done some poppins.
I got jizz on my face.
I'm prolapsed.
Prolapsed.
And all my holes are filled.
I'm pink socked, pink sock.
I'm a cowboy.
Everybody's a cowboy.
Huge dicks are right.
I've seen a million faces.
And I've fucked them all.
There you go, Bond Jovi.
So yeah, show that briefly.
One, two.
Fucking one, two.
Fucking.
On the ones and the twos.
Fuck.
On a two-four there.
He bans public displays of thin blue line.
My buddy owns a restaurant and a woman.
What's the thin blue line?
I never seen.
It's the American.
I think it means the American flag with the blue.
Okay.
All right.
I ain't seen that.
Or maybe just the black flag with the blue line.
Probably both.
How does he have the authority to do that?
It's the American one with the blue and then the firemen have it with the red.
Yes.
But I don't think he has the authority to just ban that.
Well, you could ban it on the uniforms in his command.
Oh.
Yeah, but he can't do anything outside of job.
Fuck off.
No, I think, where did he ban it from?
He banned it from the command.
Well, let's read the whole paragraph.
There we go.
I think the flag was up in the command somewhere.
He's at public events and station lobbies.
Demanding.
Like if you went to a detective squad, they'd have it stickeled on the wall and stuff like that.
And you can't have that now?
Well, I'm telling you, my buddy owns a restaurant.
On his Jeep, he has that flag.
It's the black American flag with the blue line.
This woman comes in the restaurant, she goes, There's a racist sticker on one of the cars in your parking lot.
So they all go, Oh shit, what the clan is here?
That's not good, bad for business.
So they run up, they run outside, and they go, What's the problem?
She goes, That.
And he goes, That's a cop thing.
That guy, his dad's a cop, his brother's cops.
What the fuck?
They see it as an anti-Black Lives Matter thing.
They think it means black lives don't matter.
Yeah.
Like, I'm pro-Kneeing.
Like, remember they banned the fucking puppy from Paw Patrol?
Yeah.
Was she black, the woman making the complaint?
No, she was a rich, white, liberal, probably Jewish.
Did anybody tell her she was a fucking asshole?
Well, their owners of the restaurant, right?
So they said the guy, the guy with the cop father was the one defending his own sticker.
The cop father.
He explained.
He was like, look, my dad's a cop, my brother's a cop.
It just means it's a cop sticker.
And she goes, in this day, this is a couple years ago, like real peak George Floyd.
She goes, in this day and age, that sticker trivializes black lives.
Because she's so acclimated and versed in black lives.
It triggers me.
They have names for them, people are called Karens.
Yes.
Yeah, when was the last time you were remotely near a black life?
Well, her maid probably comes, or the child.
Yeah.
I honestly believe that's where a lot of their benevolence comes from, from their Zimbabwean housemaid.
And they're like, you're so special.
I see it all the time, on Yav.
They're up and down pushing the strollers with all the kids in them.
Yeah.
When I first moved to New York.
I love Donatim.
I'm in Manhattan.
I always say, what a beautiful baby you have.
A lot of rich Africans adopting white kids.
He has your eyes.
I have a friend I used to work with that he had a white wife, but all his side checks were black.
And he told me that he grew up pretty wealthy on Long Island.
A white guy, obviously.
Yep.
Yep, Italian guy.
He had black nannies.
And he got all his love from black nannies his whole life.
And he had an affinity for black women because.
There you go.
You know, I heard Filipina nannies, when they're changing the diaper, they put the penis in their mouth.
I'm not joking.
I've heard this, yeah.
When the baby's wriggling like that, they do that, and the baby just goes...
Well, that would calm me down for sure.
If I was a baby and they did that, I'd be like, oh, yeah.
Change that diaper, you fucking witch.
You'd be shitting my pants every minute.
But you just have poo-poo diaper.
I don't know.
Maybe it's all those laxatives.
Why are you eating chili so much lately?
Oh, Jesus.
Why do you keep breaking into medicine cabinets?
I'm taking X-Lax.
Why are you nounching on bean paper?
That's actually disturbing.
Yeah, isn't it rape?
Yeah, that's child molestation.
There's a lot of bad things.
But maybe a boy who had a Filipina nanny would identify with that.
Next thing you know, he's fucking gone.
Oh, in 20 years, when I go into a nursing home, I'm going to request a Filipino aide when they change your mind diaper.
My advanced director, please.
She's not used to eight inches.
Speaking of, I've got a lot of cop stuff, obviously, because we've got cops and criminals on the show.
Let's go back to the nanny.
She's a cowboy with a kid's penis in her mouth.
I got a gun in my mouth.
It's a one-inch uncircumcised dick of a rich kid.
Rich kid.
Who's like three months?
New York.
He shit himself.
His shit's fast.
Only the dipees changed.
When I hear this, I know it's blue job time for the babies.
Dinner bell.
Oh.
Dinner bell.
No good.
Ooh, it reeks in here.
Wow, yeah.
What's this?
Shoots a dude and he doesn't care.
Oh, yeah.
I love the whole, just tiz them.
Or like, shoot them in the toe.
You don't have to go for chest cavity.
Everyone thinks that you shoot someone anywhere.
They're pinky or whatever.
You shoot off their hat, like in the wild, wild west, and they're going to, they'll calm down.
No, there's dudes where you shoot them in the chest many times and they're still coming at you with a knife.
So I think this is a state trooper.
Did you send me this, Tim?
Yeah.
Yep.
Is that upstate?
I don't know where it's from.
Somebody sent it to me.
Okay, calm down.
You can see something in his right hand.
He wants to die.
Okay, party's over.
Nope.
Okay, party's over.
Nope.
Okay, party's over.
No, okay, party's over.
Nope, nope.
What are we at?
Six now?
Seven?
I think he did get a leg shot.
He gave him blimping.
Did a cop hit the ball.
I think a cop tripped it.
Okay, kill him!
LAUGHTER Have you ever been shot at, Matty?
You got shot at, right?
I've been shot.
Oh, you've been shot.
Yeah.
I have a hole in the back of my leg.
Was that from that party in Brooklyn with the glass?
No, that was the first screwdriver I was ever in.
On Myrtle Avenue in Fort Greene Projects.
What happened there again?
They're trying to rob me.
So you were going to one in Europe.
No, I was at a house party.
Who do you know?
Well, my buddy lived there on Prospect Street.
A real-time interrogation.
So I went to the Bodega at like 4 o'clock.
I was tripping on an ecstasy.
I was rolling my ass off.
And I went to the, me and my buddy, I said, hey, take a walk with me because I don't want to walk by myself up on Myrtle Avenue.
Why was he taking a walk?
Did you go buy beer or cigarettes or something?
No, we went and got water.
Bottles of big bottles of water.
Oh, okay.
And on the way back, I was like, oh, let me get a cigarette.
I don't smoke.
Let me get a dollar.
I ain't got no money for you.
And then I said, just tapped my buddy.
I said, just get around the corner.
And the building's right there.
We'll just get in the lobby, but the door was closed.
So he was with somebody, and I pulled my gun out.
And I had him.
He came in.
He's standing in the door, jamming the door.
Wait a minute.
He's jamming the door, but the door's locked.
He's got his back in his back, like the door frame.
He was up against the door frame like this.
He had a knife in his hand.
So I got him from here to that light.
And I'm like, go ahead.
You know, I'm going to blast you.
So I don't see his buddy.
He comes in.
He puts a fucking gun right over the guy's shoulder and shoots the fucking lobby glass out of the door.
I said, fucking, run up the stairs.
We ran up to the first landing.
So now I can see their feet and everything.
Now I'm in an elevated position.
I got high level.
You got the drop on them.
Yeah.
So they took off and ran.
It was a fire department literally right across the street.
No cops ever came.
Nobody came.
So he pegged you once.
He got you in the leg.
No, no, no.
I didn't get shot that day.
I got shot years later.
Well, let's hear about the leg shot.
Oh, I got a little hole.
So what was it?
What happened?
Oh, there was a big melee leg somewhere, and I think it was a ricochet because it didn't go all the way through.
I just have some soft tissue damage.
Okay.
No details?
The guy in Brooklyn, it must have been a Puerto Rican with a knife, but he brought a knife to a gun battle.
Yeah, his buddy had a gun.
Yeah, they upgraded.
He's like, this is your problem now.
Yep.
But why aren't you giving us more details about the calf shot?
No one's going to get incriminated.
Well, I didn't even know I was.
It was weird because I didn't even know I was shot at the time.
And everyone, I was like, is everyone all right?
And we're talking.
And then I'm like, why the fuck is my foot wet?
Because the blood was just running down my leg into my shoe.
And then when I realized I was like, oh, now.
Maddie, who shot the gun?
So we're not getting any more details about the melee.
It was just some hullabaloo.
I was walking down the street one day.
You're a cowboy.
So I piss you on my calf.
I shot myself.
Driving in the ass.
The gun in my pants.
It's like a six string with a gun.
Yeah.
And when I shoot people, it's like shooting people.
It's shooting people.
I don't have to use a metaphor.
I have a cowboy.
It was a 1911 87 plus one.
What kind of gun did you carry?
Me?
I've carried all different kinds of guns.
What was your favorite?
My favorite?
One of my favorites was a single double-axis 6-226.
Okay.
What did you go to jail for?
Oh, which one?
I had long gun and one with the pistol where you gave it to a prospect who was actually a cop.
Yeah, undercover agent.
Not a good idea.
Don't give your gun when you're convicted.
Did you sell it to him?
No, no, no.
I knew I was going to get pulled over leaving the place.
I was in a place called Fast Eddies in Virginia.
And the Goon Squad was out there in a parking lot.
So there was like five black SUVs.
So I was in the club at the time I was in there.
And I said, yo, you know we're going to get pulled over as soon as we pull out of this parking lot.
So I said, listen, because in Virginia, all the guys, as long as you're over 21 and not a film, everyone carries guns.
So I said, hey, are you going to the party in Maryland tomorrow?
The guy goes, yep.
I said, all right, we'll take a walk.
So we walk back into the bar, and I unload the gun, I give it to him, I go, you know, see me tomorrow and give it back to me.
He's like, all right, Aaron, no problem.
Well, when you hit the penal law in New York, I don't know if it's with guns, but with drugs, if you're smoking a joint and I pass it to you, that's sale.
You don't have to exchange money.
You just got to give it to me.
So that's just probably the same with guns, too.
I was charging with you on parole, right?
No, I was just convicted felon at the time.
I was charged in the federal system with 922G1, which is a felon in possession of a firearm.
What was the firearm?
It was a 22.
Oh.
How did you get caught with a 22?
That's so small.
Damn.
He gave it to a cop.
Oh, you gave it to a cop.
That was the felon you charge for?
Yeah, yeah.
It was a Deranger.
It was an undercover in Helsinki.
It was a breech break, and it had four shots.
It was a nice little pistol.
It was from Italy.
And then they tried to charge me with foreign commerce and interstate commerce because the gun was manufactured in Italy.
It was imported in Georgia in like 1962.
And for like 40 years, no one knew where it was until I had it in Virginia.
So now you're international gun smuggling?
They charge me with affecting foreign commerce and interstate commerce.
Oh, for fuck's sakes.
And then fell into possession.
And then on the back end, they put a 924E, which is armed career criminal.
If it applied, they wouldn't have to re-indict me.
Fucking pigs.
I swear to God.
Fry them up like bacon.
That's what I say.
Fun times.
Ryan, why do Maddie and I look like we're in a Scorsese film?
And I tried to make John and Dick Man look like they're on a motorcyclist GoPro.
I wanted to make it seem like an intense interrogation.
Obviously, Tim's the good cop.
But, dude, I asked you seven days ago to make sure the podcast lighting looks good.
No, I changed it just now.
I don't want to argue, but these seats, you know, we're going to have to upgrade them.
No, those are Ames seats.
Those are ergonomic.
Oh, I see what you did.
Okay.
Did I make these for men?
With big asses.
Yeah, it made Maddie all intense looking, so it looks like a cop show because he was being interrogated.
So where'd you get the gun?
I was like, we got a lot of interrogation, boys.
That's the thing about cops, too.
They've been talking to liars for two decades.
So they know instantly when you're full of shit.
But if I was, I've had, I used one of my favorite guns to carry, if I was at a large event where it was public and there was known to be ops there, I would carry a Smith and Wesson Featherlight hammerless because you could shoot it from inside your pocket.
Damn.
What does it look like?
It looks like a revolver with no hammer.
Oh, it's a hammered case.
Featherlight is a woman, Amrit.
Satellite.
The NYPD went to that in like 90s.
We had hammers on ours.
They went to that in like 1990s.
Now they're at the Glocks now.
Featherlight.
But when you were hanging out doing that, doing your gangster shit, did you carry the gun or did you, well like most of the punks, they give it to their girlfriend?
No, no, no.
Are you calling him a punk?
No, I'm just saying a lot of people.
No, I would carry it on my person.
I'm not calling him worry about it.
No, no, no.
Most times because I would get pulled over a lot because, you know, you got a big giant pull-me-over sign on your back.
So I would already have connections to where I was going.
So I wouldn't have to travel from my home to, say, North Carolina.
When I get to North Carolina, I know who to ask for a piece.
Okay.
So in transit, I wouldn't have to worry about getting pulled over and getting jacked up and getting to us, all right.
Yep.
This is like a police interrogation where the guy isn't shutting up.
You get the details.
Well, I'm not a criminal anymore.
Yeah.
I love watching mom interrogations because they always start out going, I don't know what you're talking about.
And then you watch it for an hour and the guy's just like, can I call my mom?
And then it ends with, is there the death penalty in this state?
No, and then it ends when they're putting their jacket over their head like this and they're sleeping on the floor.
Oh, yeah.
They turtle up.
Yeah, they turtle up on the ground.
It's like, wake the fuck up.
Yeah, it's not going anywhere.
No.
You have to come out from that little cocoon you made.
It's like you're so cold.
I've been wanting to watch this with you guys for a while.
Go to 1.7.
So this guy has a backpack stolen.
He traces it with an apple tag to this house.
Well, two houses, really.
This driveway.
And he calls the police.
The police go, all right, you did all our work for us.
They go there.
Everything's going pretty well.
Even the backpack thieves are like, oh, well, okay, I guess we're fucked.
And the sister is driving by.
A sister in every sense of the word.
And she sees them going through the garbage outside where they find tons of wallets and purses.
And she starts going, you can't check my brother's garbage.
It's against the law.
No, it's not.
No, it's garbage.
Believe it or not, once you put that out on the streets because they did that, it becomes city property.
Yeah, it was raised.
You can't go through it.
Yeah, but in this video, I don't think it's on the street.
I've seen it leading him to the reported residence.
He also said the backpack contained several important papers, including military documents and banking information.
He told police he knocked on the door, asking the resident about the backpack.
That was a claim.
Hi, I don't want to bother you.
Did you rob me?
Yes, sir.
I'm calling the police.
That's such a white guy thing.
Military documents?
I wouldn't bother with it.
I don't want to waste your time, sir.
So you can skip ahead.
Let's get to the sister.
I already told you the backstory.
Yeah, there she is.
There she is.
Yeah, but if you wait just for the private property.
One thing I learned in Austin, Texas, great way to pick up chicks.
When a hot girl walks in the bar and you're with your friends, you go, there she is.
Really?
They love it.
Really?
Yeah.
Dang.
Those did well.
What's going on?
I just want to know what's going on because I drove by and I sneaked down straight to my brother's trash can, so I'm just wondering what's going on.
Well, someone's got to let me know what's going on.
Wouldn't it be funny if the cops were like, we should get out of here.
We didn't know we're sorry, ma'am.
I don't know the legality of that because they went on to the property.
Well, it's in a garbage can next to the house.
But it's still on private property.
I think what they could do is they could actually secure the house so no one could go out, go to the district attorney's office, and get it.
Get a warrant, yeah.
Yeah, that's what they should do.
Or if somebody's screaming in there, then you have probable cause.
Well, you could preserve evidence, right?
Is that the point you were going to make?
Yeah, well, if you feel that something's getting destroyed in the house.
Yeah, I see.
Well, I would hear screams or something, and then, you know, boom the door.
You would hear screams.
Oh, I thought you meant.
All right, I see.
No, no, no, you're right.
Yeah, I thought you meant if you heard maybe the freaking guy splashing the toilet.
If it was a car, it would be different because a car is a movable object.
You cannot go to a district attorney's office and get a warrant for the car.
You know, you might be able to go inside it.
You know, you'd have to go to a hearing, like a map hearing or see what they do.
But what they do is they say they smell pot.
In the garbage can?
No, in the house.
From the doors, the door is open.
He's talking to the guy, and then they go, we smell marijuana.
We want to go in.
Well, that's the first time you got the door.
I'm sure he smelled pot.
Yeah.
It's a strong odor.
I didn't smell pot until you walked up to me, bro.
Dude, I smell pot on the 95 when I'm going into the city in my car.
And I'm not smoking pot.
And you're doing 75 miles an hour and you're like, wow, someone's really blazing up on the highway.
Yes.
And all the windows are shut and it's going into, I don't know, my grill?
It's going into the air conditioner.
Oh, yeah.
I don't have the air conditioner on.
It's like that everywhere in Manhattan right now.
Well, water.
Dude, it goes through.
Williamsburg, Brooklyn is like walking through Bob Marley's asshole.
I'm walking on an asshole.
It's intense.
What does Bob Marley's asshole smell like?
Lots of weed.
He doesn't eat.
He lives off the wheat.
Well, he's dead.
He smokes the ganja.
He lives off the wheat.
He's got to go through Ziggy's asshole.
Ziggy's asshole.
That's a good name for a band.
That's a good name for the show.
Ziggy's asshole.
Okay, I'm writing that down.
But get back to this creature.
Come here often, and I drove by and you guys searching my brothers' garbage cans while I ended up wondering what's going on.
You don't live here, you don't make it up right now.
Actually, I do.
Mario.
Mario, you have enough gear runner.
Female was later identified as 22-year-old Jertisha Camacho.
Pardon me?
The ones who called us.
Okay, so they don't live here.
I'm just trying to figure out what's going on.
He had a bag stolen.
I actually been asked all the time.
I pulled up here, but yeah, go ahead.
Thank you.
So he had a bag stolen from his car last night.
It had an air tag in it.
Air tag places somewhere between these two houses.
No, who lives in other houses?
We're talking with Thumbling.
We're going to go next door.
But the AirTag shows.
Look at that poor white guy just sitting in the fucking passenger seat.
I mean, he got no case there because anyone could have thrown it in a fucking garbage can.
You can't blame the people inside the house.
Yeah, but you can continue your investigation.
But what about the fact that the garbage can is full of wallets and purses?
I mean, I'm not sure that's going on the...
You just see the purses in there.
That's going to be a reefer.
That's going to justify a warrant.
Right.
But they actually find the backpack in the bathroom.
But say they didn't.
But you know something?
The cop's doing the right thing.
Even if the case got thrown out, you know, the guy got his backpack back.
Yeah.
But to Maddie's point, he could just say, I don't know, I guess my garbage is a dumping ground for thieves.
I know you're lying, but in a court of law.
This goes to court.
Yeah.
Yeah, but you've got to be a reasonable, prudent man to think like that.
And most people say, you know, that's bullshit.
So you think a jury would say that's bullshit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's the law, and then there's a jury going.
And then you have all these cases, right?
So you go back, you get all the IDs of all the people, you find out all the police reports that they made, and they all ended up in his garbage can.
All these stolen bags and wallets.
Yeah, it's just such a great spot to fucking dump.
But what's great now is you could take those wallets out, though, and put through DNA.
Find out if he went through that with his dirty little fingers.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, there's no need to get into ad hominem attacks here.
You could have the beautiful, wonderful little mulatto fingers.
Manicured.
He's very hygienic.
He's not dirty.
Yeah, his clean little fingers.
Does everyone like Maddie's new microphone?
I think we need a Filipino woman.
Do we need a Filipino woman to go over there to I'll put a wig on?
You heard that.
You want me to suck you off while I change your depends?
Sucks getting old.
Oh, my God.
I think I just shit myself.
Yeah, you like that mic, Maddie?
Yeah, I love it.
Pretty cool.
Pretty cool.
Real radio star.
All right, let's get back to her because I really enjoy these videos.
And when I watch this, I think of it from two perspectives.
I think of Maddie giving state troopers shit who harass them all the time.
And then I think of cops having to deal with these fucking assholes and going, shut the fuck up, bitch.
Like, she just needs to be tuned up.
How funny would it be if we had body cameras when Maddie used to get stopped and we could formal requests?
With our buddy?
With your buddy?
Yeah.
But he used to fucking impound my bike.
I think he impounded my bike three times in one month one time.
I was like, come on, dude, really?
So I guess my point is that I bet you Maddie would get the sort of the limit to how much of a dick you can be.
He'd be like, really?
You're fucking pulling me over?
You know what he said the last time he did?
He goes, don't worry.
I'm not going to have him bring it to the impound.
I'm going to bring it to the state trooper's barracks.
So when you get out, you can just go.
I said, are you fucking kidding me?
Did he still make you pay for the tow?
Of course.
I thought he was doing you a favor.
And I wasn't even...
They said me and my buddy were leapfrogging because he pulled up behind me.
So I pulled over.
He drove right past me, kept going.
So I'm sitting on the side of 87 North by like Slotsburg, like Spring Valley.
I'm like, how long am I supposed to?
It's fucking like 9.30 at night.
How long am I supposed to fucking sit here?
Like, he didn't, like, get on his mic and say, like, pull over.
So I go on.
So I go up about three quarters of a mile, maybe a mile.
And he's got my buddy pulled over.
So we used to, if one of us got pulled over, we just go to the next exit, pull off, and wait.
If he didn't show up with like in an hour, you know, he got locked up.
So as I'm getting off the exit, cops are like driving up the exit and run the wrong way.
You know, they jump out.
One guy had his dog, but I think by his collar, by his pinky.
He's like, dog's going to bite you in the face.
He's like, turn your bike off.
I go, I'm not fucking moving.
You got your fucking dog like here.
I'm like, why would I move?
So he goes, oh, we know you were doing you a leapfrog.
I go.
I said, put it this way.
If I didn't want you to stop, me?
You weren't catching me on my motorcycle.
I go, I'm sitting at the red light on the exit.
Where am I going?
I go, I'm waiting to see what's happening with him.
So they arrest him, impound his bike.
They don't find nothing.
So now I got to go back over to Tap Z Bridge to Terrytown.
That's when they had used to be right over the bridge in Terrytown.
So the guy's going to me, an older trooper, right here with a mustache.
And he's going, listen, Matt, he goes, if you got anything on you, he's like, now's the time.
He goes, because if we get to the State Trooper Barracks, I can't do it.
I go, listen, I appreciate the awful.
I think they said that all the time.
I go, but I don't have anything on me.
And you weren't under arrest.
I sat there for eight hours, handcuffed to the wall.
Strip searched, everything.
Did he charge you with anything?
No.
He charged my buddy.
What was that?
He charged his own vehicle.
What was that charge?
Him?
Yeah.
They think you found him with paraphernalia or something like that.
So when that guy said, now's your last chance, did he want you to throw Coke out the window?
He wanted me to confess if I had anything.
I'm like, dude, I appreciate it.
But I wasn't born yesterday.
I hate to disappoint.
I don't have anything.
So, have you ever dekeed out the cops just by going, fuck this, me?
Yeah.
So, you can do that.
Well, physically.
Have I ever done it?
Yeah.
Yes.
Because Sug at the gym, John, he goes, I just got my insurance or registration for my motorcycle.
And I'm like, what?
We're like 55.
Haven't you been pulled over?
And he goes, oh, no.
Ryan, why is that in lowercase?
Oh, this isn't the right one then.
Jesus Christ.
You probably never thought.
I'm speaking of mistakes.
He goes, I would just flip up my license plate on the back and just me disappear.
Now, as a taxpayer, is it that simple to elude you guys?
Yes.
On a motorcycle?
Yeah.
I never tried to do it.
Well, you can't outrun the radio.
It's also timing.
You're on a bike.
If somebody pulls out in front of you and tags you, if I was chasing the guy in a bike and another car pulled out and hit you, I don't suggest it.
Make a U-turn.
Yeah, I don't suggest it.
I never chase motorcycles.
When they take off, it's dangerous.
It's dangerous.
I don't want the guy on the bike to get hurt.
It's just, it ain't worth it.
But it's worth chasing a car.
I have attempted to pull over motorcycles, and when they stop, I'm so grateful that they stopped.
I never ride them a ticket.
Because I'm like, everybody else just takes off.
But most guys that are riding bikes, they're pretty cool.
Most of them are hard-working people.
Sport bikes take off.
Cruisers don't.
Rice Rockets.
No, the Rice Rockets.
That's it.
The ones you see down, there's like 100 of them driving down fucking Fifth Avenue, doing popping wheelies.
Oh, those guys on the quads?
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
The guys who built that.
Oh, that's that dude.
Remember that on the West Side Highway?
Yeah.
That guy, Steinglass, who punished the cop who was with them, he was an off-duty Puerto Rican dude who was with the bikers.
Yeah.
And he got him fired because, I don't know, he didn't respond to it.
Well, it's pretty much like the gang arrow they charge, but it was gangasol, I would assume.
Yeah, he wasn't part of the.
You remember the story, right?
There's an Asian dude.
He got freaked out.
He hit one of the bikers.
They got really pissed off.
And when I say bikers, they're like black dudes on quads and dirt bikes.
And then he tries to get off the next exit.
They surround him.
They rip him out of the car.
And they start beating him with the helmet.
Yeah, it was a guy who's like, this guy was driving DWO.
That's why.
What's DWO?
Driving while Oriental.
They don't have this parental vision.
Yeah, it's actually, there's three.
It's driving while Oriental, driving while old, or driving while Orthodox.
Damn.
If you're driving while Orthodox, you got to be in a van.
Minivan, yep.
That has no bald tires.
Bald tires, yeah.
Pulling up the whole bald tires.
Because at least God is going to.
Yep, Hayes and beard flying around.
You know, that cop that did that, like, he was supposed to ID himself.
He should have did the right thing.
The guy's getting tuned up there.
Yeah.
I don't really have sympathy for that officer.
Really?
Wrong place, the wrong time.
Was the wrong place.
He could have went over there and just got between him and say, listen, leave this guy alone.
I was thinking maybe was he scared too?
Because they made a beat the fuck out of him, too?
But he was a member of the club.
Those guys that were tuning the guy up was probably frenzies.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the problem.
No, they all had the same outfit on.
It wasn't like a real motorcycle club, but it was like a little fucking group of Recons.
Okay, can we get back to this grumpy black chick?
Don't do no like that.
You can jump ahead straight up.
You guys just really don't know.
No, you don't.
Now without my brother's permission, you don't.
That's illegal.
Then the I can't even search my neighbor's garbage can.
So I know you can't search my brother's garbage can.
Don't do nothing like that without his permission.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That's right.
Big shit, girl.
You got to keep the tag ping location and marijuana odor coming from the house.
Officers found it reasonable to make entry and make sure there were no other residents.
All right, who else is home right now, Mario?
How'd you smell it?
I got my door closed.
I'm going to be securing the residence.
Oh, shit.
The screen is good.
That's how you can smell it.
This guy is like, go ahead, arrest me.
I don't give a fuck.
Mistake one was opening the door.
Yumped on through the door.
Fuck him.
Check out that picture I texted you, Ryan, from today's New York Post.
It has this black dude who, I believe, shot a cop yawning.
I don't smell weed.
My brother don't smoke weed.
Do y'all touch the neighbor's house?
Did y'all smell weed?
No, sir.
Y'all don't have the right to do that.
There's no scent of weed in this house.
Do y'all want to come and smell?
Do y'all want to come and smell?
Does someone else want to come and smell?
My brother don't smoke weed, so it don't smell like greed.
Yeah, rotate that.
The guy on the so this is the new save the children law in New York where if they're under 18, we don't prosecute.
And you're like, okay, I guess we shouldn't throw shoplifters in jail.
But then you read their crimes.
Like zoom in on the dude with the money, this aspiring rapper.
Up and coming rapper, Cameron Williams, 17, was shipped to a Brooklyn juvenile facility and not Rikers Island after allegedly shooting a city cop.
He was later released on bail.
Wow.
He had a 2020 gun rap on his record for which he got off with probation because of his juvenile status.
And then go look at the yawner.
We should just call all of them yawners.
Yeah, that's our new.
He didn't get no sleep last night.
Yo, you said yawner with the hard R. I don't mind Yana.
Kevin Bogg, a 16-year-old who slugged a city cop.
That's what people used to do if they were like homeless and they wanted to get three hots and a cot.
They'd punch a cop and go, I'll go to jail for a couple months and at least I can eat and sleep.
For the winter, yeah.
Because I hate being waiting for that cop.
Was released without bail because the law classified him as a juvenile, Even though he had also walked three days earlier.
How old is he?
16.
After allegedly jumping a 49-year-old at a Manhattan strap hanger in Midtown.
What does it matter what religion a vinihill is?
Why do they have to point that out?
What?
Well, 16 is legal age in the eyes of a man.
Yeah, he's a juvenile.
He's not a juvenile.
Who cares what kind of vinyl he is?
Look at that.
This is boring.
Cheetos go here.
I mean, they could be a little bit of a case.
Please set up the case beyond the controversial law to demonstrate the Big Apple's recent uptick.
13-year-old Ref.
How old is that guy?
30?
Yeah.
Well, he's 13.
As far as years on Earth.
Has he got a beard?
Oh, that's a mask.
He was ex.
Yeah.
So 13-year-old PewDiePie gangbanger was executed in the back of an Uber after getting released without bail in the midst of a Bronx gang war.
And despite three prior gun bus.
Why was he not in some kind of limited security thing?
Yeah, so he did an execution of their ops.
And these kids in the South Bronx, I don't know what it's like in your day, John, but they're just shooting each other for fun.
There's no, I don't even think they're in fucking gangs.
It's just like, this is my housing project.
That's your housing project.
Trust me, it was a lot lawless.
It's gotten better now.
It was very lawless back in the 80s.
It was during the crack epidemic where they were like, you know, shooting.
Everybody was shooting each other.
But at least they had a point.
At least they were going.
They had a reason.
They had this territory.
It was, I want to sell this area crack.
I want this crack money.
My red top goes here, not your green top.
Crack.
Yeah, that's better than today where there's zero reason for it.
I think nowadays, if you diss somebody on Instagram or Facebook, they're going to come after you.
Yes.
Yeah, that's what it is.
You diss me on Facebook Live, so I'm going to fucking kill you.
I'm worried about this guy over here, you know.
You did diss him.
You dissed me in a dream.
You better wake up and apologize.
Because I'm a reformed man.
All right.
We need a metal detector here.
We got to toss him before he gets in here.
I only carry a small edge weapon these days.
He carries a wood gun now.
It doesn't really penetrate the skin, but it stings.
It's your pepper balls.
It's perfectly legal.
It's for hunting pigeons.
Yeah, these kids are a bunch of losers.
What are you, Cool Trump?
You got it, sister.
Cool Trump.
I came here on my motorcycle.
You wouldn't even believe it.
Maddie probably knows.
I drive here.
I got my girl on the back.
She's holding me by the waist very tightly.
And not because she's scared, because she likes me, okay?
Which is more than I could say.
Excuse me.
It's more than I could say for you nerds.
Ooh.
Why are you smoking an invisible cigarette?
No, that's...
Oh.
Ooh.
Gets the woman hot.
You blow on it?
They do.
Is that before or after you grab my pussy?
Ooh.
Oh.
Oh.
Hickory dickory duck.
All right.
Now, I feel like I'm torturing everyone with this clip, but let's just get to where she freaks out.
I know we're used, we have our short attention spans.
I love watching these for like an hour.
All of these from the beginning again?
All of these are like an hour and 20 minutes.
She's already obstructing.
I would just remove him from this.
Mario!
They don't have the rights!
Can you put her in?
Mario!
Mario!
Because you see, they tried to take him to jail because they moved in.
Mario, you were named after a video game!
Is he trying to videotape him?
After a brief search of the home, an officer does.
He's playing Angry Birds.
Y'all, what y'all doing right now?
Really?
Stop resisting!
The fuck they said all your house would hurt yours!
Stop!
Stop!
Backpack's in the bathroom.
Backpacks in the bathroom.
You're an idiot.
Stop smoking pot.
Get a life.
You stole a backpack.
How much money did you get out of that backpack, by the way?
$10,000?
You probably got fucking four bucks.
I wouldn't even steal anything with $10,000 in it.
You know, the cops should have said, listen, we're looking for the backpack.
Give us the backpack and we'll get the hell out of here.
What?
They might have said yes.
Where are they?
Oh, I think this is where all of these are.
They seem to all be in lacrosse, Wisconsin.
Oh.
Midwesterns.
I feel like there's not a lot of lacrosse going on there in that town.
No, we work for you, hockey.
So anyway, you watch enough of these and you start recognizing people.
And I think this is her again in 1-8.
I think that's the one.
Again, just the escalation to freaking the fuck out is instantaneous.
You know how long it takes me to get mad?
I say to my kids, too, I go, guys, I'm getting mad slowly.
And once I get mad, I can't get unmad.
So stop pushing these buttons because we're 23 minutes away from me losing my temper.
Same with street fights or anything.
I need to get a few blows to the head before I can get mad enough to really jump into it.
Did you say blows to the head and instantaneous?
Because let me tell you, I get blows to my head all the time.
And my girlfriend gives me instantaneous.
I put it in her ass whenever I want.
Wow.
Trump got real cool since he stopped being president.
Where's your chest hair round?
Yeah, no, it's blonde.
Excuse me.
I'm asking the questions here, Copper.
Okay.
That's a cool Trump.
Yeah, I like him.
He must be lifted.
I always suspected he was that cool.
Yeah.
He can't be very cool with the president.
Whoa.
Let's go to that clip, Jamie.
Well, no, you don't have to scroll very much.
That does look like the same chip.
He's ready to rock.
What was the final outcome of this?
The final outcome.
Yeah, he went to get locked up.
Hi, excuse me.
Hey, stop the fucking car.
Stop.
What?
What are you doing here?
Why does it matter?
Turn the car off.
Why does it matter?
Turn the car off now.
That's existential.
I'm going to start saying that to cops when I get pulled over.
Why does it matter?
Why are we here?
Yeah.
Turn the car off.
Listen, Fortune Cookie, open the fucking door.
Turn the car off.
Turn the car now.
Look at the tip on that window.
Don't ever forget now.
Yo, you just spilled my wahwah7 up.
Oh, you know that sprite.
Come on.
Let me explain to you what we're doing.
I don't give up.
I'm responding to an alarm call.
Put your flown.
No, I guess it's a different woman, right?
Palm trees there.
Palm trees.
Forgive me for seeing all the similarities.
As soon as the Universal Soul Circus started exiting this clown.
I'm just wondering if her wig falls off.
It does.
That's not her natural hair.
Turn around.
She's from Sri Lanka.
Turn around.
Stop.
I don't care.
You came in this bus style.
Don't you ever put that shit on me.
I'll spit on you.
Isn't that fault?
Didn't that kind of make you nervous?
All these guys getting out of the car?
Like, you don't know if they have a weapon and they're getting ready to do something?
I'd be shitting my pants.
Like, that guy right there, like, you don't see his hands.
Well, I'm also getting kind of meth vibes from this because someone is very easily ramped up.
It looks like it's early in the morning.
Yeah, or very, very late at night.
Or maybe just blatant attitude?
I don't care!
You came in this box!
I don't ever put that for me!
I'll spit on you!
Stop!
No rest.
Stop.
Stop.
Look at my hair!
What the hell with you?
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, almost a moment.
The other fear is if you don't take her down and handcuff her, you're going to be made fun of at the station for the rest of your life.
Why?
She can kill you just as fast as anyone else.
Yep.
Oh, there goes the hair.
Oh, shit.
Why do you step on my hair?
Get down.
Why do you disrespect my hair, though?
Get down.
It's so funny that she gets that back in a Ziploc bag when she gets released.
And here's your clothes and your hair.
Stop putting me in the ground.
Well, then get on the ground.
Put your hands behind your back.
I can't breathe.
What are these outprises?
Woo!
Like fucking little Richard's getting on my soul.
Did she say on my soul?
She did.
What's going to happen?
Oh, she's cuffing it to the pants?
Yeah.
I don't know what she, what he's doing.
I think I missed her.
Well, he's got solid cuffs, so all you got to do is hold it because you could just snap the wrist if you had to.
Oh, you know what she said?
She probably said on mice hole.
She's on a mouse hole that like a mouse will burrow.
Thanks, Ryan.
And it's uncomfortable and gross.
Rabies.
I've never seen the pants buckle before.
No, I haven't either, but put your other hand.
He's like, put your hands about your hand.
I'm trying something new.
It's called the pants.
I'm inventing a new way of handcuffing.
You're about to be famous.
If you try to get out, your pants will come off.
Were you guys allowed to carry the solid cuffs?
Oh, no.
The hinge cuffs?
Yeah.
We weren't supposed to.
You're supposed to use the ones that are issued by...
We used to carry the Smith & Wesson cuffs.
Yeah, the M100s.
With the chain.
Yeah, but you're supposed to speed cuff them where...
you have it set up already so when you hit the wrist, it pops on the other side.
I always used to break guys' balls if they fucking didn't put the fucking key on the top.
Oh, the lock, the cuff?
Yeah.
If you're nice, they'll do that.
Don't know to put the keyhole on top?
Or double lock it on?
Double lock.
Double lock it.
And they'd be like, shut up, Maddie.
Fuck.
No, at that point, I would just be gentle and be like, yo, could you put me in two cuffs?
Because I feel fat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're not fucking crazy, baby.
You're not fucking crazy, bro.
God fucking ever!
That game is sick!
Stop!
Like, this woman needs to be in a mental institution.
They all do.
Yeah, at that point, you're just making it.
Her and the previous camera, and the guy's head is something.
It looks like it's maybe on his epaulette or something on his shirt.
By his badge?
Oh, no, no, it's not a sound.
It's like a trend with these black women.
I'm just going to freak out and I'm going to just deflect from the whole reason you're here.
We're not going to discuss why you were called here, what's going on.
I'm going to just freak out and we're going to make it about me, I guess.
Freak out.
And maybe that's a good tactic.
Like, you're not going to be confused.
I don't care how good you are at your job.
If you're screaming at someone, wrestling them, you're going to be distracted and you're just going to be like, I got to get you in the back of the cruiser and I'll deal with this.
Is it me or did he never call for backup?
What was she initially stopped for?
We weren't told.
He was called to that resident.
She got out of driveway.
And she was leaving the resident.
It's weird.
He was walking in the street.
He's like, stop.
It might have been a domestic.
Yeah, he must have already stopped and was walking over the house and then she starts leaving.
He's like, no, no, no one's leaving.
It's going to get to the point now with the police.
It's like, all right, they're leaving.
Goodbye.
What happened?
Oh, this girl just stabbed me.
Next time I come here, I'll stop her.
Yeah, yes.
Oh, she slept in that car?
Call us back if you need us.
I didn't see her.
The windows were too tinted.
Let us know if she comes around again.
But with the palm trees, that might be Florida.
Again, be there in an hour.
Super dark tint.
Don't come around here no more.
He never pulled for backup or anything.
No, he'd be made fun of for the rest of his life.
No, but you don't understand.
There's other people in the car.
And don't think she couldn't pull out a gun and shoot him just as fast as anybody.
Complaces he'll get you killed.
I'd seen this one before.
I think somebody else shows up.
You see, that's the thing that when you go down south or with the state police, you're by yourself.
There was always two people in the NYPD.
It must suck if you're on the highway and you're pulling over a car with three gangsters like this guy over here.
We double up from midnight to 5 a.m.
What's that?
State Police double up from midnight to 5 a.m.
It's dark.
You're up there and it's 10 o'clock.
I had a dog.
And you got three hood rats.
You're like, holy shit.
Did you have the button so the door would open and the dog could come out?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Oh, cool.
You had a button on your person.
Somewhere on his person.
Yeah, on your belt.
And then you just push that, the door opens, and the dog comes out and kills everyone.
Well, the firm missile gets launched.
Kills everyone.
Trust me, I wouldn't want to be bit by a dog like that.
You're going to wait.
I think it was.
There's a video of a trooper upstate.
He's dealing with a chick.
She's in the back seat, I think, and he tells her, I'm going to release my dog.
He's trying to take her out of the car, and she won't.
He pops it and just steps out of the way, and the dog enters the car and bites the living shit out of her.
Fuck.
Well, what do they do?
When they bite, they just hold on or they just pop up.
They're supposed to hold on.
They're supposed to bite and hold.
That typewriter shit is not supposed to happen.
What's the typewriter shit?
You know, the dog keeps bouncing his bite and he's up and down the arm.
Pit bulls are totally different, right?
If they get a piece and then they want to rip it off.
prop, well shaking their head is The dog's having a bad thing.
But if they're releasing the bite, the dog should bite and hold.
It should get a nice deep bite and hold.
And you still hang out with that same dog.
You guys are still friends?
He lives in my house.
Lives in.
So he's your roommate.
Yep.
Okay.
Did you?
There's a canine training unit in New Windsor, right?
Yeah, family with that?
City Newberg owns that property.
Is that MTA?
No, it's City of Newberg's property.
MTA's, and they have a facility in Stormville.
They have a great canine facility.
If MTA and NYPD all had German shepherds, crime would plummet.
NYPD.
They have a canine unit.
You know what's crazy?
Dogs everywhere.
No, no, it's crazy.
Blacks are so scared of dogs.
You would never see that at a riot.
Dogs like that.
No, no more.
50s and 60s.
This is in the 70s.
They had the cops, like the Highway 1, they still have them, the leather jackets.
They were sharp looking with the bullshit.
And then the NYPD had it in the 70s.
But what happened was they started, someone was complaining, they looked like Nazi stormtroopers when they come in with those leather jackets.
So then they got, and then we had these plastic bullshit ones, you know?
That's why it works.
Is it like that in the state police with your dog?
Say if you got injured and you retired for injury, the dog would retire too, right?
So they just spent $35,000 training.
They don't spend that much.
But yeah, I mean, if the dog was super, super young, under a year or two years old, they might keep the dog.
But anything over that, I'd say two is probably the longest.
I'm glad we brought up the looks because I meant to show this 1-5.
I never realized this until someone tweeted it out, how bad the NYPD is looking these days.
They're always on their fucking phone.
They got a pile of junk around their waist.
Their hats are always off.
And they're always not paying attention.
And then these state troopers show up to monitor a situation.
New York State Police look much sharper, harder targets than NYPD.
Clean shaven, in shape, no phones in hand, professional.
Look at these dudes.
They're not required to carry all the bullshit.
Like, we had to carry, you know, at one point we had to carry these stupid masks.
Gas masks?
Gas masks.
It was ridiculous.
Gas masks on your person?
After you had a mask.
You had a pen holder.
You had speed loaders.
Then you have to have the mace.
Then you had to have cuffs.
A whistle.
Did you need a whistle?
The whistle, yeah.
Flashlight.
A flashlight.
And then, you know, the lieutenant would line us up at roll call, and you know, they'd say, all right, let's show everybody your flashlight.
And then we'd be passing it down.
Like, nobody would have a flashlight.
And then I asked this cop, I said, why don't you carry a flashlight during the day to us?
He said, listen, anywhere you're going, it's daylight out.
I'm not going to run into a fucking dark tower, you know, a dark tunnel.
You know, he's too old for that bullshit.
We have gas masks, but they're always in the car.
Yeah, that's what you need.
Then you get these buff cops.
They'd show up with a little suitcase.
They'd have all their shit in it.
They'd have all types of toys.
John Rambo's.
Something like that.
Tackleberries.
All right, let's get behind the paywall shortly.
Let's read a few super chats and start taking calls.
Uh-oh.
Me, that's the end of that.
I bet they stopped the German shepherdship because it seemed too civil rights era.
Yeah.
Yeah, I thought it's been hot doing this, but it was just flatty dyeing around.
The riots in Newark and the German shepherds there were terrifying.
They had German Shepherds to keep the crowds back.
And during the marches in Selma, it's terrible looking.
You let the dog out.
Let him do his job.
How are we doing for Super Chats?
We are doing pretty good.
We haven't read any today.
Let's see.
Let's go from the bottom here.
Okay.
That was last week.
What are your thoughts on dating girl flip-flops the relationship?
Dated a girl.
Was that from last week?
I'm not sure.
I think so.
What are your thoughts on dating girl with flip-flops on the relationship?
Who flip-flops on?
Oh, who flip-flops on the relationship?
I've dated this girl.
We'll reconnect every year, so, and she always ends it really confused.
I think we talked about this.
Yeah, it was last week.
It's called a whore.
I know you certainly disagree with his actions, but Ted Kaczynski, oh, great, has written books from prison, technological slavery, and the anti-tech revolution, and they are excellent and receiving good reviews.
One of the points he makes is that conservatives don't have any viable solutions to the threats that modern technology itself has for human freedom.
On this point, I'd like your take on this quote from technological slavery.
If you think that big government interferes in your life too much now, just wait till the government starts regulating, don't highlight it, regulating the genetic constitution of your children.
Such regulation will inevitably follow the introduction of genetic engineering of human beings because the consequences of unregulated genetic engineering would be disastrous.
We're already seeing that.
I mean, the government is pro-abortion.
They're also pro-refugee status, pro-open borders.
So we're getting these Indians who come in here.
They don't want girls.
So they commit gendercide and abort all their girls.
We're already getting this.
So yeah, Ted Kaczynski is a fucking genius.
I'm sorry.
I've been in a lot of arguments where I want to quote him, but I just will say a famous man once said, because if you go, look, dude, it's like the Unibomber said.
Violence solves problems.
You can't do that.
So don't directly quote.
Violence is necessary.
If you have a problem with Ted Kaczynski, show me the quote where he was wrong and explain why it was wrong.
I love my Nick Fuentes.
Have you noticed he looks like Joseph Menglis?
I have not noticed that.
I'm not up on my Nazis.
Yeah, Dr. Mengele, I don't even, I would know who the hell he is.
Yeah.
I picture a guy with like round glasses, maybe the face melting guy from Indiana Jones.
Let's see if he looks like Fuentes.
No?
What are he?
Retarded?
Not even close.
Did you mean to say axe-like?
I'm just kidding.
Did you mean his brain?
Let me axe something.
His brain looks like Mengler.
No, but there was a guy that had like almost bald with the little circle glasses.
He was another big one, but I don't remember what he was.
Wait, you were close there, right?
Was that Heinrich Himmler?
Yes, that was him.
No, go up a bit.
The glasses guy right there.
Who's that?
Those are probably actors.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
So that's a stupid comment, but okay.
Heinrich Himmler.
Let me see.
Heinrich Himmler.
That's the first Heinrich.
Yeah, that's the guy with the glasses.
That was the guy with the glasses.
Yeah, that's no Nick.
Michael.
No.
No, no, no.
We were just thinking about the Indiana Jones man.
So here we go.
There's another 100 one.
I was disappointed to hear Michael was gay.
Here's $100 for conversion therapy.
I hope he gets through with it for himself or at least for his daughter.
Love you guys.
I think he's back in the show Monday.
I have to do some stuff and run some aerosol be in and out.
So he'll be behind the board a month.
Oh, yes, Michael.
I didn't know who the fuck they were talking about.
Yeah, I was kind of.
African-American Michael, right?
Great guy.
I mean, we love Michael.
Okay, let's open up the phone lines.
Start taking Kizals.
Yeah, we're an hour 22 in, and it's still been free.
So that's good.
It's a nice treat for everybody.
You know what I realized with the letters recently?
I could put in a search word like Canadian or Nazi or Miley Cyrus and do like 50 letters from that subject.
That's how many thousands of emails we have.
It's like chat GPT.
Oh, I should turn this on because it's not.
Wait, no, it's this one, Gav.
So this one isn't mine?
No.
Okay.
That one is gay.
What about John and Dickman?
Can they?
They were, I believe if Maddie just puts it in an area that's close to both of them, like a midpoint, like if you put it at the end of the bar closer to them and aim it towards them, these are so wide open you will be able to hear them.
Ooh, let my dogs out.
We got an email from our ad guy and he would like us to know that we caught him.
But he says I don't smoke weed.
Here's a question for you, Dick Man.
Did the cop who busted the serial killer know that the dead girl in the serial killer's truck, the prostitute, was the girlfriend of the lead singer of the band Reagan Youth?
Are you talking about Joel Rifkin?
Yes.
I think they're mixing up to.
Oh!
He's not talking about Niels, Kathleen.
When Joel Rifkin said there's a dead prostitute.
No, I don't think he knew.
No.
Yeah.
No.
She's kind of famous in the alt scene.
But who cares?
Who gives a crap?
I wrote down some mailbags that were particularly important.
I would be remiss if we did not cover the incredible Project Berry Task discovery.
That's got 11 million views.
No one is getting the real story here.
The real story here is affirmative action.
You had to get your ESG up, your, what is it, environmental social governance up as a major corporation.
So you hire this gay black consultant and put him at the top of research.
And now if anyone gives you shit for being too white, you go, oh, really?
What about this gay fag?
Who happens to be black?
Or this black who happens to be a fag.
And now the fact that he's totally fucking incompetent doesn't matter.
So I don't know how many clips you have.
Ryan.
Do you look up Veritas in the email?
Then there's the new thing where he's confronted.
So there's him talking in the restaurant, which can be kind of hard to follow.
And then there's him getting confronted at a restaurant later on.
There we go.
Start with that one.
This one has 500,000.
On Twitter, it's got 11 million.
Pfizer Ultimate.
Is it 11 million?
About mutating COVID?
Well, that is not what we say to the public.
No.
Don't tell anyone this public.
We got to publish it.
We're exploring, like, no.
You know how the virus keeps mutating?
Yeah.
One of the things we're exploring is, why don't we just mutate it ourselves so we can work on two vaccines, right?
So we have to do that.
If we're going to do that, though, there's a risk.
As you could imagine, no one wants to be having a pharmacy mutating virus.
You have to be very controlled to make sure that there's a virus that you mutate doesn't create something like, you know, stones everywhere.
Something crazy.
It's the wave of the virus target.
Okay, so anyway, he says we're considering mutating the virus ourselves.
And then he talks about using monkeys to do it and stuff, which sounds like gain of function.
I'm using this virus as a potential bioweapon, which got us into this mess in the first place.
We don't want China doing this.
We don't want America doing this.
I don't want anyone playing with deadly viruses.
So this homo is on a date with a Project Veritas dude who's pretending to be gay, I guess.
Yoo-hoo!
And he confesses all this.
So then James confronts him at a restaurant.
And what they do is I think they say they want another date.
Oh, yeah, look at this.
Sounds like gain of function to me.
Well, they call it a different name.
Genetic function.
You're using manipulating a virus as a potential bioweapon.
Yeah, the term they used was directed evolution.
Tomato, tomato.
But they're doing it so that they can preemptively have a vaccine for it.
Sounds like to make money.
Thanks.
Yeah, why don't you just make bioweapons all day and then create vaccines for them?
But promise me you're going to lock them up tight and they won't get out like they got out in Wuhan.
So the funnest part of this is James confronts him at a restaurant and he goes, I was, it's a joke.
I'm a liar.
I'm lying.
I was trying to impress you.
I was trying to get cocked, dummies.
Lied suddenly.
I was just looking for eight inches.
You see, I'm a cowboy.
Okay, Jordan.
Is this real life?
I'm literally a liar.
I was trying to impress a person on a date.
What's wrong with lying?
This is absurd.
Don't touch me.
Well, this is not by the way.
What are you doing?
Don't tell anybody.
We gotta go back to the beginning.
I like that.
Is this real life?
Yeah.
Is this the real life?
Hey there.
Is this you take him?
You work for Pfizer.
My question to you is: why does Pfizer want to hide from the public the fact that they're mutating the COVID viruses?
Is this real life?
I'm literally a liar.
I was trying to impress a person on a date.
What you're a liar.
Don't touch me.
Well, this is not.
By the way, don't tell anybody.
There's someone who's just working in a company to literally help the public.
You f*** off.
You really did.
Please read the post as soon as possible.
Here we go.
Can you please unlock your door?
No, no, don't let them leave.
Please unlock the door.
Give me, why is my door here?
I'll show you.
Stop!
Please unlock the door.
Please unlock the door.
This is someone who's never been told no.
What is he holding?
The microphone?
No, he's trying to steal.
He took their iPad or laptop and spreaking it.
Nice push.
Please unlock the door.
People like that.
Unlock the door.
We're trying to get the door.
Unlock the door.
Unlock the door.
The cameraman fights back.
So he says, get the fuck out of here.
And then he calls the cops and they go, okay, fine, we'll leave.
And he goes, no, you're not going anywhere.
Is this real life?
And then the cops show up and they go, we would have arrested him, but he's gone.
That's exactly right, Gavin.
Oh my god, James O'Keeffe.
Yes.
You did a great job.
This must be probably the biggest scoop of your career.
That's correct.
I think the part of this story that a lot of people are looking over is the fact that the dinner, the food was cold.
We looked into this.
We sent a Project Veritas food guy out there, and like Maddie might know, food should be hot.
But was it?
No, it was lukewarm.
No, I don't think that's the takeaway at all.
That's the takeaway.
No, the takeaway is that the biggest corporation in the world who made possibly trillions from the vaccine is looking into more mutations so they can make more vaccines and make more money.
And in danger as all.
That's true.
But what's worse?
Gain of function or cold calamari?
Gain of function.
And the real takeaway here is when they gave us the takeaway, they didn't put it in the bag, just a styrofoam box.
James, I think you're blowing the biggest scoop of your life with this bullshit dancing.
Speaking of scoop, the dessert, ice cream, that was pretty good.
Our Project Veritas Ice Cream Experts tested it out for themselves.
Unfortunately, they had a cavity and it hurt their molar.
Wow.
Is there any more juice with this?
So what?
Speaking of juice.
Please do.
Please do call the police.
I'm sorry.
This is insane, you guys.
Is this for life?
This is, again, like black gays with high IQs are the most coveted human beings in America.
So they probably get, I mean, this guy's a fucking boob, and he's working at Pfizer as a head of research.
So he's never been told no.
He's never had any problems with his life.
He's always been the bell of the ball.
He's special.
And here he is, his horny hubris fucked up his life.
And he's getting his first no, his first punch in the face.
Pfizer's had everything like on all their platforms, all the commenting, everything has just been shut off.
Damage control.
Oh, yeah.
Emotional, damage.
And also the Yelp account has been shut down for comments as well.
Then there was a picture of the laptop of the thing.
It said R.I.P. Please do.
I think he's going to leave a paper talking about mutating the COVID virus.
What?
Can I tell you that?
Did he pay a bill at least?
Not even close.
What is your name?
Because you fucked up.
You really did.
I'm about to sue you.
This is absurd.
Do you have someone mock at me as if they're going on a date to record me?
You don't even know my position at this.
I'm going to guess bottom.
I'm going to guess fired.
Yeah.
That's a person on a date.
What I'm lying.
I was a little bit.
This is the same thing the black girls did with the other people.
Exactly.
And then he asked me to.
I'm going to flip the script and tell you you're doing something.
Oh, yeah.
Then he put a little bass in his voice.
He was like, no, you fucked up.
Yeah.
I ain't getting work, Val.
No, you fucked up.
Yeah.
He's a cowboy.
He's getting fucked up.
Which is not how he wanted.
I'm a bottom.
I'm not even a scientist by background.
I am on top.
I'm not even a scientist by background.
What do you do?
A 23andMe figure that out?
A consulting firm that does business.
See, that's where I got the affirmative action from.
I'm not even a scientist.
I work at a consulting firm, and we're just working there.
So call the cops here now.
Please do call the cops.
Call somebody.
Because if these allegations are true, are you showing us the frozen mudslide?
Yes.
Did he order a white Russian?
It is a frozen mudslide.
Is that like a dessert with chocolate and fucking...
Well, mudslide's a drink.
You got to be a bottom to know that.
What is it, like a chocolatey?
I don't know anything.
I don't know anything about it, actually, now that he said that.
What is it, Batty?
I don't know exactly what's in it, but a mudslide is a cocktail.
What's in a mudslide cocktail?
Vodka, Kahlua, and Irish cream.
Ooh.
Bailey's Irish creme.
That sounds fun.
Except it wasn't fun.
It's like a black rush.
Which is bad.
Yeah.
Okay.
I feel like, James, you should more focus on Pfizer using monkeys to destroy the world and less on mudslides and the temperature of your meal.
I'll take that note.
Okay, great.
Please do.
Why would you call the cops if you have nothing to hide?
So he's obviously having one of the most outrageous reactions I've ever seen in the history of Project Veritas.
He's threatening to call the police.
People tell me I have a Where is Ferris Bueller Now energy?
Bueller.
Do you get that?
No.
The dancing, the fun, but also getting down to brass tacks, messing with the establishment.
All right.
Okay.
He grabbed the microphone.
He's telling the staff.
Yeah.
It's like, but they're on this controversy since Watergate, and he's telling some waitresses.
I am not a crook.
Can the staff now be held for kidnapping?
Because they're locking the door and holding them against their will?
Yeah, that's a bad truth to pass.
Unlawful imprisonment.
Open the fucking door, lady.
Don't get involved in this.
It's way over your head.
No, no, no.
Don't let it.
It's taking over like Biden's head.
Yeah, they're taking over all heads.
They were taking the side, though.
Like, one of the waitresses, like, escorted him to the back to make the phone call or whatever.
And then he's, you know, like call the police.
And then they're like, yeah, well, the gay black guy's always right.
That's how he got his job.
The customer's always right, especially the gay black guy.
The question is, why is he calling the police?
Guys, can you just respect my father to use all these?
He's there with them now.
He's one of them.
They've taken him in.
He's just respect my father's restaurant.
What?
Neither Bell, can I get a check for the Bell's?
No, do not give him a check.
No, don't let them leave.
Because I won't be costing you.
the waitress just wants him.
Hey, who's going to pay this goddamn check?
And he's so spoiled that he thinks, after the biggest fuck up on earth, that he's going to come out on the street.
Yeah, he's going to order what's going to happen.
So they're all going to jail.
No, dude.
You're the bad guy.
What is the intention of calling the police?
They have like no one's injured right now.
We have stuff with me to sit out.
Can I talk to you, please, about this video?
Okay, so they have one, two, three.
I'll tell you right now, if they locked me in that restaurant, one of them fucking chairs would have gone through the fucking door.
Mm-hmm.
Or a window.
You're not fucking holding me against my fucking will.
Like a dick.
He would.
The guy.
Yeah, he would.
What did you say?
Sure.
Where is it?
Where did you bring race into this?
Please read the comments.
We have you on tape talking about mutating the COVID virus.
No one mutates a COVID virus.
May I show you the video?
These are insane people.
I haven't seen them on this.
Do we have to leave?
Yes, we're not going to be able to do it.
Okay.
No, you cannot just leave.
Do you want me to leave?
Can I ask you about this video?
Is it true what you said?
What is this?
No.
I lived on a birthday with a guy, and like normal men, you lie to impress a game.
Mutating viruses.
I gotta say, that's actually kind of a good angle.
Would they meet up on Tender or something?
I don't know.
It's called Grinder.
Grinder.
Okay.
Yeah.
You should know.
Well, it's how I met you.
This is the worst catfishing ever, right?
And in this guy's mind, I was catfished.
And by the way, catfish was not on the menu.
That is.
At the pizzeria.
That's true.
A lot of food puns in this story.
Wow.
Okay, can we switch over to thank you for calling?
And then I keep meaning to go behind the paywall an hour and a half ago.
By the way, you mentioned.
Are we going behind the paywall?
Eventually.
You really want to?
No, I just, if we do, I want to make one announcement before we do.
Oh, there's a big left list.
No, I just want to tell officer.
Have you got a paper bag with a gun in it?
No.
No, I just want to tell somebody to stop freeloading and get a subscription.
Okay, let's do it.
Officer Brian Dow of Riley County, Kansas Police Department, stop freeloading and get a subscription.
Freeloading?
$10 a month.
You just got called out, motherfucker.
Yeah.
He's a cowboy.
Oh, goodness.
And if you don't, if you don't start paying for a subscription, which is a mere $10 a month, it's a beer and a half, depending on where you buy beer.
We will send that crazy black chick over to your house to question all your garbage searches, to freak out about her fucking hair, and to say, on my soul, I will spit on you.
Yep.
And she might be a forcer.
She might be wearing pajama pants.
You won't be able to cuff her.
How much could a cop in Kansas be making?
With Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz?
What are they making then?
30 grand a year, 40 grand?
Which can't be Kansas?
Yeah, he's in that county, I think.
It's a county police department.
So there's two Kansas cities right next to each other.
The world's stupidest idea.
I've never ever.
So is it Nikiri?
He lives in Manhattan, Kansas.
His name is.
His social security number is.
So it's whatever he's around there.
He's got enough money.
Yeah.
$10 a month.
Well, cops are cheap.
I'm not going to knock the state troopers, but cops, you know, they could squeeze a nickel and make a buffalo fart.
They were born with short hands and deep pockets.
By the way, you mentioned Nixon.
This was a great piece by Tucker.
You could look it up on your own.
But it's titled Biden is Done.
But it goes into the fact that he was the most popular president ever.
He got 13 million votes more than the person that replaced him.
And they just forced him out, without any crimes or anything like that.
There was some conspiracy there.
No, and the brilliant journalist who discovered Watergate was hired by the FBI.
He was an ex-naval dude.
He was handed this story.
And what was the big deal?
I'm very Lenardian about Watergate.
The whole thing is.
It doesn't bother me.
Gerald Ford was the only person who became president.
It was never elected to any office.
What about LBJ?
No, he was elected.
Vice president.
Gerald Ford, like the legislative branch of the government, Senate and Congress, nominated him.
It wasn't like a public election.
So he was implanted by the DNC with no vote.
Gerald Ford.
Yeah, who was the vice president, though?
Like Spirio Agnes.
Spirio Agni.
That was a great movie, LBJ.
You ever see that movie?
We're going to lose this Vietnam War.
All these, well, what do you say, Chingx or whatever, in Vietnam?
Gooks.
They're sitting in the rice field waiting for our soldiers, and our soldiers are in the foxhold smoking cigarettes.
He's famous for saying, you get me in the presidency, you get me the presidency, and I'll give you your war.
Yeah.
Yeah, and Nixon was trying to point out that the CIA had a lot to do with, were involved and had to do with John's death.
He kept saying that.
And that was a big deal.
Part of the Warren Commission.
Wait, you called JFK John?
Could that be more confusing?
That's what I'm saying.
Well, they call Jack or John.
Okay, just say JFK for now.
By the way, I'm a little annoyed at all of you for not laughing when I said I'm very Leonardian when it comes to Watergate.
I don't even know what the word means.
Linardian?
Could you spell it?
Leonard Skinner.
Leonard Skinner.
Oh.
Watergate doesn't bother me.
Does your conscience bother you?
That's a deep cut.
Maybe I should say Skinnerdian.
Or I'm very Leonard Skinnerdian when it comes to Watergate.
Well, it's a reference to Kill Young.
Wait, what's the name of the song?
Because maybe that'll be Sweet Home Alabama.
I'm Sweet Home Alabamian.
I'm very Sweet Home Alabamian when it comes to Watergate.
Yeah, you're right.
It's closer, yeah, yeah.
It's a little more zoned in.
So we're going to go buy on the paywall or take a call.
No, no, we're going to do the mailbag, and we haven't taken a call.
The whole point of this free show is to show people what the show is like, which is retarded because this show is not like anything.
Every show I have a suit on, and I go through the news in a very Tucker Carlson, Howard Stern kind of way.
And then this show, we just fucking goof with the guys.
It's true.
So, I don't know.
This business model.
Free balling.
Maybe once a month we give away a Friday show or something?
I don't know.
I thought about it.
I don't know.
I don't know.
This shouldn't be the free show.
You are on the air.
Oh, man.
This is a fucking loser.
Hey, Ryan, alert.
I'm a ball.
Hey, why does everyone get two things?
What about those guys?
Thank you for calling.
Bit screen there.
All right, next call.
Why was that a split screen?
I have this thing.
It's an overlay.
So, like, it's meant for the chat.
So you fucked up, I guess is a short answer.
Yes.
Let's take a couple calls.
We'll make the last half hour.
By the way, to your cop buddy in Kansas, this is an hour and a half a week.
The show is an hour and a half a day.
Every day.
So he's really denying himself a lot of gold.
And then we have our new segment.
We have our new segment, Cop Talk.
That's right.
Bernard is on the large.
Hello, Bernard.
What's going on, Andy?
Can you believe the transphobia here, folks?
Can you believe the transphobia here, folks?
What's that from?
It's this drop right here.
Can you believe the transphobia here, folks?
Oh, yeah.
Didn't he go on Tucker just as that?
Yeah, fuck her.
That's my buddy David Menzies.
Menzies rules.
Hey, a question for Gabby.
Okay.
How come your impression of Scary Perry is identical to your impression of Maddie?
Because Scary Perry is identical to Maddie Odell as far as voice box goes.
Yo, God.
Maddie, what do you think?
Hey, I got a squeaky, high-pitched voice, and I'm animated.
I mean, Perry's an octave higher, I guess, and Maddie has a New York accent, but I think they're pretty similar.
I live in a shitty little apartment.
We live in a shitty little apartment.
We actually have a clothes peg around one of his ball sacks to go a little higher.
What pitch do you need?
I adjust it accordingly.
Brian, you're the imitation guy.
There we go.
Tell me the difference between Perry and Maddie.
There we go.
By the way, thanks for calling.
Let me see.
Maddie, say a couple things.
Yo, Cuz.
Yo, Cuz.
No, it's just tough.
It's just tough.
Like, I don't have the foundation to start.
Like the starting point is kind of important.
Do you have like a voice that...
I don't know what it is.
Yeah, just...
It's not.
It's Perry Caravello.
Yeah, which one are you going to do?
I think Gavin's is more like Super Groverish.
I think Gavin's more a Super Groverish.
You know what I was thinking?
We need a better ending for your show.
What about this?
So be cool, stay warm, and if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Hey, get out of the kitchen.
That's kind of nice.
Here we go.
That's the new one.
I'm a fan of the show because it has to do with food, you see.
And I really like Maddie's send-off.
It's keep watching, keep commenting.
I've actually fed some of the PV people.
I know.
That's why we gave you these hats.
We're making chef hats, by the way.
Nice.
Thank you, James.
You're welcome.
Two fingers peace.
And I'm out.
I wanted to.
There's a couple of emails I really wanted to get to.
But, oh, shit.
Emails.
This dude sent us a Mitch Hedberg joke that fucking chat GPT wrote.
Is it good?
I bet it is.
Yes, it is good.
Sprinkles?
A computer listened to 100 hours of Mitch Hedges.
There's not that much Mitch Hedberg out there.
There's not 100 hours.
I've listened to everything you say.
It's like Lenny Bruce and Bill Hicks.
You're done in a day.
There's probably 12 hours of Lenny Bruce, Mitch Hedberg, and Bill Hicks out there.
They died.
So they told ChatGPT to write a Mitch Hedberg joke, and he wrote, I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Wait, that is a joke.
Oh, it is?
Yeah, that is his joke, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait, so now, wait a minute.
This changes everything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ChatGPT just steals jokes?
Good point.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Yeah, that's a Mitch Hedberg.
Are you positive?
Yes.
I don't believe it.
Detective shitties on the job.
You're wrong on a regular basis.
Not when it comes to Hedberg, bro.
Yo, bro.
It might be, it might, I'll give you this.
It might be against protesting, but I don't know how to show it.
No, you're right.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Wait a minute.
So now ChatGBD just goes, write a sonnet by Shakespeare, and they just Google Shakespeare and cut and paste a paragraph?
Wait, here we go.
I found it.
I found it.
You're right.
I'm going to play that bumper again.
Man, I'm against.
Wait, I'm not wrong, though.
I don't know.
Just because you're right.
Yeah.
Wow, write twice in one show?
Oh, shit.
That's right.
I'm right.
Show it.
Come on.
What the fuck is this?
They autoplay, but then they have the volume up?
I'm just picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
I'm against picketing.
I want to start on how to show it.
I want to start doing like a lost headbird thing.
That'd be cool.
Like a fake stand-up as his?
Like, honorably, you know, like not respectfully.
Shut up.
I got a lot of letters about Nicole Arbor when I said that she's right and she's awesome and Candace Owens is wrong.
Yeah, she blows.
And a lot of people are like, no, dude, you're wrong.
That guy's no bueno.
Nicole's nuts.
And that guy's a baby monster.
What the fuck is his name?
Ryan, what's his name?
The guy that she claimed was a stalker.
Hey, guys, I don't want to take up too much of your time.
I followed the Nicole Arbor story a bit.
Ryan Upchurch, which is the second gentleman shown in the video, met her at a bar.
She acted like someone roofied her drink.
He drove her to the ER where she puked all over his car, and they found no traces of any substances in her system.
I've seen this with girls, by the way, when they get nervous, they fucking overdrink like crazy, and then they think they've been roofied or something because they have never done like five shots in a row, and then they puke.
She also held his wallet hostage in her Airbnb and took him to court many times where he was exonerated.
Ooh.
Careful with them one-night stands, fellas.
We opened up a show.
By the way, I got a ton of letters like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been getting a bunch of those.
From women, too.
What does he say?
She's giving women a bad name.
Ryan Upchurch does a lot of comedy, blah, blah, blah.
He makes tons of music.
He's rich.
He doesn't need her.
I believe if you listen to his side, you get along with him and like him a lot.
What does he say?
He bought a force green Lamborghini, blah, blah, blah.
He's rich.
I don't know why that.
I guess you're not.
You tend not to be a stalker when you're rich.
I can't speak for the other guys, and you mentioned she had all this paperwork showing all this, but after he won his court case against her, the first time he also had paperwork showing how crazy she is.
So was she suing him in civil court?
Or criminal?
I think she sued him in civil court.
Yeah, because he couldn't be tried criminally again if he was exonerated.
Double jeopardy.
Anyway, have an open mind about that, folks.
There's a lot of fucking crazy shit going on.
So what was he just like a one-night stand that he had?
Or didn't have?
Well, their side of the story is she's just a nut who court, like, she courted Ryan Upchurch, I guess.
I don't fucking know.
They both sounded.
I'm so stupid.
Remember, I was in the special class in eighth grade.
So I hear her side.
I'm like, that's fucked up.
You're being stalked by psychos.
And then I hear the psycho side and I'm like, that's fucked up.
That bitch is insane.
I don't know.
Even the Steven Crowder thing, I'm like, he's a retard.
He said no to 50 million.
And then Lauren Chen goes, he could make $80,000 an episode in ads alone.
They had offered him $65,000.
That's fucked up.
They should fuck off.
Real wishy-washy over there.
Well, I mean, it's like the Holocaust.
You really got to care and do your research.
Yeah, exactly.
You can't just half-heartedly assign a belief to something so new.
Just kidding, Jews.
Calm down.
Yes, it's definitely bad, and it sucks.
Calm down.
We're having some fun.
I also wanted to read this Gavin pretending to be black email.
Uh-oh.
No, it's funny.
Oh.
I think this experiment described here about this self-perceived.
Oh, yeah.
So a long time ago, I said, here's a fun experiment you can do on your own.
Pretend you're black.
You're not black.
Well, most of you are.
And walk around with a racist, like everyone's racist mentality, and you'll notice all this shit.
Like, for example, I went to this bar where I live, and I was in that black mode all day just for fun.
And I sat down, this South African guy saw me, and he scooched over a seat.
Now, I know as a white guy, and I saw the scene, that he was hitting on this girl there.
But I could have easily, in my black head, gone, I sat.
I don't know, it was going to be British.
Yo, I sat down in this fucking chair, this South African dude, he sees me and he moves over a chair.
And I had like 40 of those for that day.
And they obviously weren't true because I'm not black.
And this guy explains a similar experiment.
Actually, it's the exact same experiment.
An experiment with a group of women.
And they put scars on their faces.
And they told these women that they're going into a job interview.
They showed them the scars in the mirror.
The women saw themselves with these scars.
And as they led them out of the room, they said, we're just going to touch it up a little bit.
And as they touched it up, they removed the scarring completely.
So the women went into the job interview thinking that they are scarred, but actually being their normal selves.
And the result of the experiment is that those women then came back reporting massively increased level of discrimination.
Indeed, many of them came back with comments that the interviewer had made that they felt were referencing their facial disfigurement.
And this is why I think this ideology of victimhood is so dangerous.
Very good.
That's 90% of racism.
Oh, yeah.
It's black people just going, oh, I see what's going on here.
I have to get in line because I'm black.
No, everyone's getting in line.
Sorry, calm down.
But I'm skipping the line because I'm black.
Okay, last one.
Phil Anselmo kicked off German festival because of Cheroorism.
So this fucking douche got Pantera kicked off a German festival because they claim that Phil Anselmo is racist.
They're not in the festival.
They're just a random band called Iron Roses or some shit.
Look up Anselmo kicked off German Festival.
And it says, stoked.
It is so important to not just call out folks when they are going down a bad path, but to acknowledge when they make a decision to turn back and do the right thing.
Oh yeah, the few people sent me this.
Look at this douche.
Pantera has been taken off the bill, you guys.
We did it.
Yoohoo.
Thanks to everyone who raised their voices and thank you once more to Rock I'm Ring.
What?
Rock in the Ring.
What?
Oh, Rock AM Ring.
Rock A. I've seen that before, yeah.
Oh, he spelled it wrong in his thing.
But who's the whole band is racist?
They do both.
Rock Am Ring and then Rock I Am Park.
Rock M?
It's Philanselmo Racist.
Is that what this guy said?
Yes.
Really?
Well, their guitarist was involved in a shooting years back.
Dimeback.
Yes.
He was involved in a shooting shooting.
He was involved in a shooting, that's true.
That's how they played.
He was the victim of a shooting.
That's correct.
They won't mention that.
P.S. I will still be donating a portion of what I make to C-Punks and to Stlopristine because I made a promise to do so.
And what they're doing is so important.
Ah!
So happy.
I love you guys.
Have they added rappers in this shit yet?
Everything's tainted.
Yep.
What is Youngblood?
Youngblood is the English guy.
Okay.
That's good.
Nothing but thieves?
That sounds a little rappy.
You've got to see this guy's band, though.
They're called Iron Roses.
Do they pronounce the R?
Iron?
Yeah.
It's a Jewish band then.
Iron Roses.
What?
Are you making fun of my accent?
I would call it Iron Roses.
They probably are Jews.
Let's see.
Nathan Gray and the Iron Roses.
Oh, I hope I don't get kicked off this tour by Phil Anselmo.
Oh, I hope I don't get kicked off this tour by Phil Anselmo.
Like the guy I was just looking at?
Yeah.
like my age.
Ew!
What's the tattoo on his neck?
What was that guy?
Is that a chick with a dick?
No?
We don't know.
Who is that?
Wait a minute.
Were these guys on the bill?
Were these guys on the bill for that festival?
No.
Fuck these assholes.
But they got Pantera kicked off.
But they were complaining about it.
They got him kicked off.
That's bullshit.
Let's rock out to them.
Look at that guy.
That looks like Drew Carrey would age.
Look at that guy.
What is the tattoo on his neck?
It's an anchor.
It looks kind of like the Marines left.
I was going to say, is that an EGA?
Anchor.
On your neck?
Oh, wait.
There should be an anchor around his neck.
Maybe he likes a lot of semen.
He's a cowboy.
You knew you could have got to move.
Oh, I know.
Yeah, I know.
Ew.
Only M-Shadows is healing on fire.
Look at that hand thing.
Ew.
And the ties with the Hawaiian shirts?
If you're M-shadowed, you can get away with that.
The kooky guys at prom.
But you're 56.
Look how he swings the arm into.
He's like a ducky.
Look at the setup.
Here comes.
Ew.
Yoohoo.
That's so drag queen story happen.
That's his o-face.
He's getting plugged up the ass.
Up the ass.
Schwink.
Up the ass.
It's a joke.
He's getting plugged.
Okay, sorry.
Those are the letters I want to get to.
We have a caller on the line.
He's been on there for a while.
Okay, let's go.
206.
You're on the links.
Hello?
206.
Go ahead.
Hey, Gavin, Uguru.
Uhuru.
Hey, so I got a question for you.
I want to know what your thoughts are on urethral sounding, which is when a guy decides to shove a straw or a rod or some shit down his dick hole.
And I just want to know, like, where does a guy go wrong in his life?
That that's how he derives his fucking pleasure.
That that's what gets him off.
He probably got molested as a kid.
I dated a girl once who was molested as a kid, and the shit we had to do, like, I had to fucking humiliate her in public, hit her in the face with a loaf of bread at the grocery store and stuff.
She did not want a spoon.
She did not want kissing.
Or you could have had a male Filipino nanny.
Yeah, probably molested, dude.
But it's not like it's common.
Anyway, thanks for calling.
That's terrible.
Anybody ever take a VD test?
I took one of them in the Navy.
Oh, they fucking shove a thing on the bottom.
A wooden q-tip all the way down.
All the way up.
It's the worst.
Yeah.
It's the worst.
I had to take two shots, and they were frozen.
I had to put them underneath my arm.
I was sitting out there right outside the Corman's office on the USS John F. Kenny in the middle of the ocean, saying to myself, what the fuck did I get myself into?
Wait, two shots in your arm.
You ought to put ice cubes under your armpits to get your dick checked?
No, what it is, is they give you penicillin shots afterwards.
And it come frozen, so the Coleman puts it underneath your arm to defrost them.
An older dude, when I was a teenager, he said, dude, you don't have to do the fucking test.
He goes, you go to the doctor and you say, I'm a virgin, and a girl I fucked got chlamydia.
So I know it's me.
We were both virgins.
No, wait a minute.
She's a virgin.
She's a virgin.
I'm not a virgin.
I got chlamydia.
She knows it was me because she's never fucked anyone else.
So they go, oh, okay.
Well, then, and they just give you the antibiotics for chlamydia.
And I go, but aren't there side effects?
He goes, no, they're fine.
You're too immune to chlamydia.
Big fucking deal.
Well, when you're in the Navy, we were on an I.O. cruise going to Australia, and we stopped at a few other ports before that in the Mediterranean.
And I remember a guy in the Marine Corps detachment, this guy Mac Damara.
He got, you know, same thing with me.
He was next to me, and he told me about a week later it was like a fucking hair growing out of the tip of his cock.
And they take you off the ship and they ship you to Diego Garcia.
That's an island right out there.
And they obviously he stuck his thing in the wrong hole.
He got fucked up.
Well, that's not a hair.
It's probably some sort of like parasite worm or something.
I don't know what it was.
You're not going to start sprouting follicles out of the inside of your urethra.
It's got to be a potato or something that's growing there.
I didn't ask him, was he an anteater or a regular one?
You know, like with that foreskin, but I don't know.
Officer John, what kind of test did you say that was?
For gonorrhea.
But, oh, I thought you said a...
A blank, blank test.
It was two letters.
V D. V D. V D. Oh, you said V D. That's phenereal disease.
Oh, I thought you said the Z D test, which I've taken many times.
Oh, my God.
Did you fuck a lot of Southeast Asian whores when you were in the Navy?
No, I've been here.
No, not you.
Okay.
I never, I was on the East Coast.
I was in the Sixth Fleet, so we didn't go over to what do you call it, the Philippines or any of that area.
You were in Australia?
Well, what happened was we took an I.O. cruise.
We went through the Suez Canal, went to Australia, went to Perth, Australia.
Beautiful people, beautiful women, and had a great time.
That sounds like you fucked some brats.
A handful.
Six.
Yes.
As many as I can get my fucking hands on.
When you're 17, you're young, dumb, full of cum, and you're just having a good time.
Yeah.
And you said you were in the Navy.
Yes.
Oh, okay, so I don't have to show this.
What's that?
Great.
Cravy.
I like these jokes.
We have another caller if you'd like.
You should.
We got 714.
You're on the lore.
Go ahead, 714.
Hello.
What's happening?
Hey, Gavin.
Hey, man.
Hey.
Hey, can you hear me?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, man.
I want to tell you that I used to be a tranny.
Whoa.
I used to be a transgender until about a year ago.
Back in 2012, I changed my sex.
I took hormones.
I was a drug addict.
I was abused by a pervert when I was young.
And I was in college, and I went through the transition.
I never cut my cock off, thankfully.
So you're a dude, you're a gay dude who was molested, and you, what, you took estrogen, and did you grow tits?
No, I never grew tits because I was a crystal meth addict.
So that's why I believe, one of the reasons I believe in God is because if you want to see pictures of what I used to look like, have Ryan Google, I don't know, Google like New York Post Detransition Brian, B-R-I-A-N.
But anyway, I mean, I basically wore woman face for several years, and I realized it was insane pretty early on when I was in college.
But I heard you on Joe Rogan.
I heard you, Milo Yiannopoulos, and Jordan Peterson in like 2017, I think it was.
And you guys turned me into a conservative.
You red-killed me, so to speak.
I just wish, I wish that I heard your message in 2011, 2012.
I think it would have saved me from doing this.
But I did do it, but I've come to my senses.
I, you know, I live my life as a man.
I have a cock and ball still.
I have testosterone again.
That's what's up.
Are you a gay?
You know, yes, yes, but now that, you know, now with a little bit of testosterone, I sort of feel like I could quite possibly fuck up.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Were you a top or a bottom as a gay?
I was always a bottom, to be honest.
Okay.
I think that's great that you didn't do the surgery and everything, but I hope this doesn't discourage you, but the surgery has become so much better now.
It's so much more efficient.
And what they do is they just cut up the shaft.
That gets turned inside out.
And then they take your P hole and that's moved downwards.
The labia actually comes from the scrotal sac now, and it's, the testicles are, You can hide them in the bottom of your butt cheeks.
I don't think so, man.
I don't think that's what they do.
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I would still consider possibly trying it.
I mean, the surgery is getting so good now.
You think I should cut my cock off, Gavin?
I mean, no, sir.
It's worth a try.
Gavin, Gavin, had I cut my cock off, I would have blown my brains out.
I'll let Bud Dwyer break it.
Don't do that, brother.
Don't do that.
I know.
That's what I'm going for.
You're losing a cock.
You're gaining a bag.
Had I cut my cock off, Gavin, I wouldn't be speaking to you right now.
I'd be dead.
That's why I'm suggesting it.
Gavin, my cock and balls are my most prized possessions are my penis and testicles.
I'm not even exaggerating.
Oh, it's amazing that something so small can be so valuable to someone.
That's well, some of these, look, look, it's possible, honestly, like, had I not become red-pilled and realized that this whole thing was retarded, it's possible I could have, you know, gone down that road and cut my cock off.
I mean, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be funny.
But yeah, that's great that you didn't do that life-changing surgery.
It's fucking disgusting.
Who knows how many...
You are encouraging suicide.
You're sending people fucking.
Dude, they fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, when I transitioned, I was addicted to crystal meth and Xanax.
I literally thought the FBI was following me around.
I would use crystal meth and lock myself in my bedroom, and I'd watch gay porn all day long.
And I would just get into weirder and weirder pornography.
And I went to a therapist really just to tell someone about this weird sex fetish I had because I liked how women got fucked by men.
I envied it.
And I don't know.
And I don't know.
I guess I got off to a certain extent that fantasy.
And I went to this gender therapist.
She goes, you're really a girl trapped in a boy's body.
And you and I have the same brains.
And yeah, dude, they made lots and lots of money off of me.
Oh, shit.
So, yeah, I mean, it's a horror show.
And I regret it very much, but, you know.
We should get you on the show.
Let's have a sit-down.
You're on the show.
I would love that, dude.
I would love that.
I'm very open to that.
Yeah, let's have a long sit-down.
Hey, did you look up the New York Post article?
Yeah, we've been showing it on the show.
I don't know.
Would you tap that?
What's your account?
Would you hit that?
That's not drunk.
You definitely hit that.
I probably would have tapped it.
Yeah, well, he's a broken drink.
Yeah, but I talked like this, and my interest was like dirt bikes and firearms and surfing.
Nice.
Like, I'm still a dude.
Yeah, that's funny, too.
Like, when the trainees get misgendered, they're like, hey, I'll shit.
Like, remember Zoe Tour to Ben Shapiro?
She's like, I will send you home in a fucking ambulance.
Yeah.
It's ma'am.
It's ma'am, motherfucker.
I was never that radical, though.
Like, but I live in Los Angeles, though.
So, like, they make it like ridiculously easy.
Like, there's no safeguarding to it.
Like, if you go to one of these clinics, like, when I did it, you used to have to have a therapist letter, but now you don't.
You can just, like, walk into one of these places and they'll be like, oh, yeah, you're a woman.
Like, let's, here, here's some estrogen.
Here's a, yeah, let's, let's get your cock cut off, you know?
Well, I was just going to say, it reminds me of blacks, where they don't care about the black family, so they encourage welfare.
They don't care about black-on-black crime, so they pretend that no one should have a gun.
They don't care about charter schools, even though it's great, especially in Harlem and in poor black areas, because they don't really care about these people.
And with the trans thing, they know the suicide rate is as bad as it was for Jews in Germany in 1943, but they push it anyway because it makes them feel good.
And the fact that you guys get thrown into the wood chipper for them to virtue signal is totally irrelevant to them.
Yeah, pretty much.
It's amazing.
Well, I think it's going to come to a head, though, to be honest.
Like, it's going to take another five years or so, but all these little kids that have done it, now they're going to regret, a lot of them are going to regret it.
And they're going to be out for blood.
And the lawsuits will put an end to a lot of this.
I have lawsuits out, so.
Good.
You know what I mean?
Good.
Gavin, I wish I had heard you, you, Jordan Peterson, and Milo in 2011.
Had I heard you in 2011, I never would have gone down the trends with that.
That sounds like you listened to enough Milo.
Maybe not Milo.
No, no, no.
It sounds like you made a difference here, Gavin.
All right, let's keep in touch.
I want to fly you up to New York and have a sit-down.
Thanks for watching.
He wants to go on a date with you.
By the way, I have to announce something.
Holy shit, James O'Keefe's a fag.
Excuse me, it's Jane O'Keeffe.
Jane O'Keeffe's a fag.
My fascination with food comes from my desire to cook it for a man.
I'm Jane O'Keefe, and I'm a trans.
You know the Retracto, the alpaca?
Yeah.
Well, now we have prolapso.
The long one.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Thanks for tuning in, folks.
We made the whole show free again.
Fucked up.
Didn't mean to do that.
It's a curse.
I'd like to thank the cops, John and Dick Man.
I'd like to thank the criminal, Matty O. And I'd like to thank the retard, Brian Katsu Rivera.
Until tomorrow, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
I want it, want it, the hell of a lie.
Want it, want it, the hell of a lie.
Want it, the hell of a lie.
I'm a cowboy, on the steel of the iron.
I want it, the hell of a lie.
But I walk these streets, a loaded six-string on my back.
I play for keys, cause I might not make it back.
I've been everywhere, I am standing tall.
Oh, I've seen a million faces.
And I'm from a coward, I'm still alive.
I'm wanted, wanted.
Yoo-hoo, Ruth.
Hear me, Guru.
Um, so I have a predicament.
Hello to everybody.
Um, so, um, I work with a who's also um a religion that begins with J and rhymes with you.
And yeah, and so I work with her and one other woman, and we work in like the HVAC employee kind of a thing.
And I'm like the youngest in the office by a decade.
And the kicker is this woman got me this job.
We used to work at an Irish pub together, and she got me this job.
I was recently promoted to a manager position before she was ever promoted.
And all she does is bitches and bitches and bitches.
Like everything.
Right.
And I'm like, everything is a problem for her.
Like, the issue is, like, I think about it in, you know, a big picture where it's like, you know, she, I'm like, okay, well, where would she fit in?
Would she fit as a stay-at-home mom?
No, she wouldn't.
Would she fit as one of the 5% of women who could be in the workforce?
No, she doesn't.
And my whole thing is like, I want to, you know, be, you know, nice and honest with her, but it's just like, she just doesn't, she's not cut out for the workforce.
She doesn't, you know, she just, all she does is complain.
And that's the main reason why women don't belong in the workforce is because she just constantly fucking complains about every single little thing.
And I just, I don't know, I don't know how to go about it.
It drives me fucking insane.
I bet she's a little bit of a daughter.
I bet she, if you find out where she hides her birth control, you should replace it with like M ⁇ Ms or something.
No, because I think that if she was a mom, she would have real issues to not like, you know, your scope of what's important, I saw it firsthand with my wife just like zoned in to like real issues, you know, and like there's just less time to think about, oh, it's too cold in here or whatever.
I don't know.
What fetching happens?
See, well, the issue is she's she's 31.
She's the closest to me in age.
I'm 21.
And the issue is, is that she's got this PCOS condition where she like the odds of her having kids, it's like some kind of reproductive issue.
And the odds of her having kids are like 1 to 2%.
Like she's not able to really have kids.
That's why she's a shit chest.
Yeah.
And so her whole outlook on life is completely changed.
And it's just so, like, every, she's a victim in every single situation.
Like, there's certain things I talk to other managers about.
And she's just like, why are you not telling me?
Why am I not included?
I'm like, because it doesn't involve you.
And I, like, I'm trying to be nice.
I've dealt with this for weeks.
Maybe.
And I'm like, I'm trying to be nice.
Like, try to frame her.
Like, steal some important documents from your boss and put them in her desk and be like, oh, my, I found these.
Well, I mean, there's so much, like, not to go into detail, but there's so much shit that's happened with this company because it's blue-collar.
And people, you know, other guys try to come in, you know, other administrations try to come in and they try to just money grab off of it and they're leeches and they're just, they're slimy guys.
And they just, I mean, they're slimy guys.
Let me tell you.
It's been longer than 15 minutes.
It's been a little bit longer than 15 minutes.
It's a little longer than 15 minutes.
I'm going to play that drop.
Right.
She's a little longer than 15 minutes, right?
I don't know.
I don't know what, I mean, like, genuinely, I don't know what to do with her because it's like, she got me the job and I'm making good money.
Like, I'm young.
I'm making good money.
I'm making a career for myself.
What if you tell her something?
What if you tell her something off-putting?
Like, just make something up that would make her not want to talk to you.
Nothing that she could have you lose your job.
It would just be like, oh, man.
You know, like when you get diarrhea for like a week?
No, but she would, but she would like that kind of shit.
What if you pretend you're like contagious something?
Well, no, no, because she's like, she's got the fluoride stare.
She's all boosted up.
She literally has myocarditis.
She's gone to the hospital four times like 2021.
Yeah, no, she's like, she's completely like, she's completely bought into this bullshit.
And it's just like she checks all the boxes for like somebody you do not want to work with.
But she got me the job.
So I'm just like, I don't, and I got promoted before she did.
I've been there since June of last year.
And it's just like, I don't, I, like, I'm trying to be polite.
I'm trying to not be a shitty human being.
But at the same time, it's like, don't come to me with all your problems.
Don't come to me being a victim in every single situation because you're not.
Maybe, maybe.
Maybe tell her that.
Maybe, you know, like a lot of there's this sort of like front-facing attitude that women have towards each other that kind of avoids getting to the root of the problems.
But maybe just be honest and just be like, take her out for drinks and be like, listen, I'm just, and disguise it as like you want to help her.
Be like, listen, I don't think it's good for your psyche to complain that I read an article and it's not good for you to complain.
I heard that it could undo vaccines, actually.
I read in the New York Times that like complaining is actually not good for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or just like, if she's into horoscopes, pretend you read her horoscope every day.
Be like, I get them from the, I remember as yours, it's that today, you know, complaining is going to be not good.
And she'll be like, oh, shit.
Right.
Just keep saying that.
And then she'll be like, this is weird.
Yeah, she didn't leave and buy into that shit.
Like, she's just so weird about shit, but I won't take up much of your time.
But I hope your wife and Daphne are doing well and you need to pop out another video soon.
I appreciate it.
Well, thank you, and good luck.
Thanks for calling.
No problem.
Thank you, Ryan.
All right, we got one more.
No, we got two more calls.
You guys have been waiting for, you've been waiting for like 35 minutes, 818.
Hey, what's up?
What's going on, man?
Is Maddie still?
He is.
Maddie's still there?
He is.
I want to ask Maddie a question.
Maddie.
He's coming.
Out of context, that was funny.
Bend over and douche the guys in.
Hey, what's up?
So, hey, you come across as this biker guy.
I would think you listen to rock music and stuff.
But you have so much knowledge about old school hip-hop.
Oh, I love old-school hip-hop.
Like in late 80s, early 90s?
Yeah, that's my jam.
Yeah, I was like, one day you were talking about brand newbie and you knew all their names.
Oh, yeah.
And then I grew up like two years ago.
Really?
Yeah, I grew up on the show.
That's where they're from.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yeah, the one that got me was you did a you made a third base reference.
You said, but my ball's itch.
And I was like, search Pete's nice.
I said, search Pete Nice.
Hell yeah.
Gambling's face nice.
All right, well, MC Search.
MC Search and Pete Nice.
That's third base.
Yeah.
Yeah.
MC Search.
Oh, yeah.
Remember that talk show he had?
Yo, he's a smart businessman.
I know he is.
He's a ridiculously smart businessman.
He's the nose of a very smart businessman.
Yeah.
But yeah, that's great, bro.
Yeah.
Like mid-80s to like early 90s, hip-hop, that's my gym.
That is my jam.
I work with those guys now, with all the old school guys.
Nice on, I do new music with them for TV and film.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, I just thought it was funny that you were like, you had such an in-depth underground hip-hop thing.
I don't know.
Yeah, that's my dream.
All right, you got it.
Take care.
All right.
See ya.
This one's about Kansas City traffic.
This is the last one.
Kansas City Traffic 913.
You're on the wee.
Is this neat?
It is.
Oh, cool.
Hey, hey, huge fan, guys.
I was just wondering if you guys ever were going to go to Kansas City.
If we're ever going to, oh, for like the tour?
The tour?
Yeah.
You know, down here, it's like Chicago.
Geez.
I mean, I'm a truck driver.
I list you guys all the time.
Huge fan.
Love your impressions, by the way, Ryan.
An honor to talk to you.
We're very much fans of the truckers, okay?
Frankly.
Wow.
Fantastic, guys.
Keeping the world turning.
And frankly, nobody even knows how hard you work.
You work very hard, and your butts are usually...
Otherwise, you're going to get lesions and bed sores.
Trench butt.
They call it trench butt.
But that's awesome.
Yeah, so fucking, I will put that in Josh Denny's ear because we are looking for, and it's red, Kansas City, right?
Kansas City, Kansas?
Either one, man.
I'm on the show today.
You guys were talking about it briefly, but yeah, it's confusing to me, too, because I'm on the Kansas side.
Kansas and the city, it's like kind of the same.
Oh, weird.
We're all kind of the same, you know, around here.
Well, I'll bring that up to Josh because we are looking for like a secondary tour market, like not the, you know, not the same ones that we did last time.
So maybe I'll put that in his ear and hopefully we can come out there and see you or be close enough that you can drive.
You're used to long drives.
Even if we're two states away, you'll make it out.
Wow.
Frankly, but we'll try to get close to you.
That's all we can do.
I mean, that's what we have to do.
All right.
Cool, man.
Good talking to you.
Good talking to you too, man.
Thanks for calling.
Thanks.
All right.
This is the very last one.
Asking Maddie about a motorcycle.
814, you're on the lore.
Hey, how's it going, guys?
What's up?
Not much.
Hey, I had a quick question for Maddie.
I'm looking to buy a new bike this spring, and I'm coming off of Honda, an 85 Honda Shadow, actually.
I'm really liking the Rebel 1100s, but I've also test-driven a couple Harleys.
So I'm just asking his opinion on sticking with the soft tail line.
I do a good bit of commuting to work.
It's about a 45-minute ride to and from every day.
And also my wife rides with me a lot.
So it's got to be a soft tail frame.
I don't think I need a touring, but I'm just looking for some ideas on what I can compare to the Honda Rebel 1100 and see what will be my options.
I mean, are you particularly stuck on going with Harley?
I'm not stuck on it.
The ones I've test-driven, I really like.
Which ones have you test-rode?
At the end of summer, I rode a 2008 custom.
Okay.
My buddy actually rebuilds Harley's, but he sticks to sportsers.
Yeah.
I mean, at least on the older brain, so not really.
You'd be a little small, especially if you're riding your wife.
Like, you would definitely want a big twin.
Right.
My favorite, which was what they call a diner superglide sport, which is kind of like was classified as like a touring bike, but it wasn't a tour.
It didn't have like bags.
I mean, you could get bags for it and stuff like that.
But the diners are great.
Yeah, diners are great.
There's all different types of diners.
Oh, yeah.
I was a fan.
I hadn't rode a street glide for a while, but you said you didn't want to stay away from baggers and touring bikes.
So that's probably not a problem.
I don't think I'm ready for that size of bike yet because I've only put like 6,000 on my bike so far.
So I'm still pretty new to it.
Okay.
And I would definitely go with, if you're not looking to buy brand new, I would buy anything over like an 06 or an 08 and above like Dyna.
Okay.
And it could definitely step because it's big enough to ride you and your wife, but it's not like a full-fledged touring bike.
And you use that street glide.
The street glide, I mean, the street glide, the fairing moves with the forks, and then you have the road glide where the fairing stays stationary.
Okay, gotcha.
The forks and everything move in between it, yeah.
That's called a short glide.
Now, do they still make that, or are you talking a used one in that regard, too?
No, I think they still make the street glide and the road glide.
Okay.
Yep.
All right, cool.
Cool.
I know I only get one thing.
I'll call back next time.
Go ahead.
I just wanted to ask, how do you go about doing test drives at motorcycle dealerships?
Because that seems to be a thing.
I've Googled some, and it looks like it doesn't really happen often unless they have like a test bike.
Do you have a motorcycle license?
I still am on a permit, so I hope to get it here as soon as they start doing them.
You have to get your motorcycle license before they'll let you take one for a test drive, really.
Okay, but that's pretty much the only hurdle you got to cross?
Yeah, most dealers, yeah, you have to have a full-fledged motorcycle license, not just a permit.
And then you go in and they'll have road test vehicles, like to test ride.
Gotcha.
And they make you put on this big, silly, like, high-viz vest.
And it's kind of crazy.
And usually they'll have someone most of the times they'll have someone like someone from the dealership ride with you.
Okay.
Like next to you or follow or trail you.
Yeah, but all right.
Yep.
You got it, my brother.
Be safe.
Go with.
Thanks, buddy.
Yep, you too.
Cool, baby.
Cool.
All right.
Thanks, everybody, for tuning in.
Oh, thank you very much.
And we'll play you out with a little song.
Just the first song I could come up with here.
Let me see.
Okay.
All right.
See you guys later.
And, you know, thanks for tuning in.
And I hope you enjoy.
Oh, yeah, you can take those.
Sure.
The rockouts, they work.
I heard they work.
There we go.
Okay, guys.
Totaloo.
Thanks for tuning in.
This is just a nightmare.
Export Selection