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Jan. 27, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:21:15

GOML LIVE #180 - ZIGGY'S ASSHOLE

Bon Jovi's cowboy song is GAY / We investigate a suspiciously written ad read / The cops interrogate Matty / Black girls vs Police / "Yawner" teen criminals / Cool Trump / Project Veritas' biggest scoop yet / "James O'keefe" joins the show / Were we wrong about Nicole Arbour? / An ex-trans baby monster calls in / We meet "Jane" O'keefe

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	- Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McKinnon.
	It's all the same Only the name will change Every day It seems we're wasting away Another place
	Where the faces are so cold I drive all night Just to get back home I'm a cowboy On a steel horse I ride What a gay fucking song - That is.
	Remember the other day when we were talking about how Back in Black has gay lyrics?
	Like, I'm a power pack!
	Yep.
	Of course, ACDC rock.
	No one's denying that.
	But the lyrics to Back in Black are kind of gay, out of context.
	This song, I was in the car the other day and I'm like, what?
	I never really listened to it before as an adult.
	You're a cowboy?
	Imagine he was hanging out with ranchers, yellowstone dudes, and they're all talking about how much cattle they wrangle, and he's like, I'm kind of a cowboy too, but I ride a steel horse.
	They go, what?
	Shut the fuck up, fag.
	With his big hair.
	You know those guys each carry like a suitcase of Of hair products everywhere they go.
	Well, they don't carry it.
	Well, Chris Naracco from Jackass, he interviewed one of the dudes at the early Jackass days and the guy had like a case that had a little tripod stand and it's got the spray and the stuff that he does.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Lots of product.
	Welcome to GOML Live.
	We're here with cops and criminals.
	We, of course, have our co-host, Matty O'Dell.
	What's up, everybody?
	Good to see you.
	We're both wearing shirts that say we don't break for queefs, meaning if we are fornicating Horsing around, and there's any kind of pussy fart, it does not even register.
	Non-existent.
	Just plow through.
	Just keep driving.
	We don't even pause and go, whoopsie.
	There's no comment, there's no talking, there's no eyebrow movement whatsoever.
	As if it never happened.
	Also, in the Patriot box, we have the cops.
	We have John, the cop.
	NYPD, South Bronx.
	We have Dickman, the state trooper.
	There's also NYPD housing, bomb squad, canine unit.
	I spent all day putting that flag behind you.
	I think it looks pretty good.
	Yeah, it's nice.
	But we can still see your fucking glasses in the reflection.
	Those are special sound effects.
	But I'm sorry, I just got to dwell for a second here.
	Can you pull up the lyrics to Wanted, Dead or Alive?
	I don't know how long I could let you shit on our great pastime of rock and roll, but sure.
	Oh, I'm shitting on rock and roll?
	Yes.
	I know you Puerto Ricans think anyone with a guitar rocks.
	He does rock though.
	But the video is just as great because he's like singing on stage, he's like with his fist out and then it's like black and white clips of him With some guy holding his limo door open, going on the private jet, on the tour bus, banging the window like he's in jail.
	It's like, are you fucking kidding me?
	And wanted means, not anyone wants to kill him, wanted means people want me.
	Like fucking Sally Fields or whatever going, you like me, you really like me.
	Oh, it's terrible.
	Dude, you're cringe.
	Blow it up here, only the name will change.
	You're in a fucking very popular pop rock band and you do a lot of touring.
	You're not a fucking cowboy, dude.
	You ride private planes.
	You hit it big.
	You won the jackpot.
	You're basically a Hollywood actor.
	He's got a loaded six string on his back.
	It's not for days.
	The people I meet always go their separate ways.
	You can always tell the day by the bus.
	You just get wasted on private planes and go and play shows and basically karaoke your own songs and you're a cowboy?
	And you don't ride the horse, you sit in it.
	And people bring you champagne.
	Maybe he's a brokeback mountain cowboy.
	I do have to admit this is bad.
	Comparing your guitar to a gun, a loaded six-string on my back.
	A loaded six-string!
	Because there's a six-shooter.
	Why don't you go up to like some fucking street thug in the South Bronx and be like, you know, we're kind of the same.
	You shoot bullets, I shoot notes.
	You kill your ops, I rock my obs.
	Wait, I need more.
	I play for keeps?
	What do you mean?
	Because you might not make it back!
	You might die on stage from what, old age?
	Well, the way the aviation is, the private plane might crash.
	I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all!
	What a dork.
	This is the cringiest poem I've ever read in my life.
	And if you read it out of context, and it wasn't a hit song, you'd go, this guy is a deluded megalomaniac.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Anyway, it's an embarrassing song.
	But um... This is a cowboy song.
	Okay.
	I don't know, I'm getting so old that everything is embarrassing.
	Yeah.
	Like dancing looks absurd to me.
	Rap is silly, and that badass song, when that first came out, I was like, yeah, Kid Rock is a cowboy, baby!
	Now I'm just like, fucking grow up, dude.
	He's friends with Proud Boys, how dare you?
	There's a good man here.
	Music in general is embarrassing.
	We were talking about this the other day, metal, where they have studded wristbands, what?
	Well I was like Judas Priest.
	You want to kill people?
	Deal fentanyl.
	That's satanic.
	You want to be a demon?
	Or work for Pfizer.
	You want to be a demon?
	OD people.
	That's fucking dark.
	Fucking growing your hair long and going yeah on stage.
	Except balls to the wall.
	So as you know the way this show goes is it's free.
	We got a couple sponsors.
	We shoot the shit.
	We take super chats.
	We take calls.
	We read letters.
	And we talk to our three co-hosts.
	And I don't know what Ryan is.
	Detective Shitty.
	A fourth co-host.
	A cowboy.
	He's a cowboy.
	I'm a cowboy!
	On the vidcast I do!
	And I want it!
	I got bought it!
	By baby monsters like you!
	I'll ride the volume!
	If you see stuff I'll edit you!
	I got a gun in my face!
	It's a fucking Japanese microphone!
	I could die at any moment!
	If the mic like shot me somehow!
	I'm a cowboy!
	You're a famous movie star, dude.
	Is Brad Pitt a cowboy on his fucking steel horse?
	I got a printy!
	Printy!
	I'm wanted.
	What up, printy?
	People want me.
	I'm actually impressed Ryan doesn't have his hair in his fucking face today.
	Oh, thank you for reminding me.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Should've kept my mouth shut.
	It was really in rare form in the latest Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen.
	It was covering my chin, basically.
	Yeah, it was, uh, it was pathetic.
	That's annoying.
	Along with the delicious juices of the meal, of course.
	I'm like a cowboy with juices dribbling down my chin.
	That sounded very gay.
	It ain't come.
	BeardFat would like to thank the Get Off My Lawn viewers for the orders streaming in over the last several weeks.
	They almost can't keep up.
	Remember to enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off and there's always free shipping on orders over $40.
	The New Year's sale is still going on but it's changed slightly because of the amount of orders coming in.
	The sale is now two boxes of grunt cups No, those are the, like, Keurig-style coffee pods that they make.
	They fit in any Keurig.
	For $29.99, the change is that now the Zero Dark 30 12-ounce bags of coffee, whole beans or ground, are now $9.99.
	They're practically giving them away.
	This is the... I got a letter in the mailbag from a young man named Ziggy from Florida, and he was telling me about how much he enjoys BeardVet coffee.
	How would you feel about being called Ziggy?
	What's the Ziggy a nickname of?
	ZigWolt?
	Ziggy Marley.
	Bob Marley's son.
	So it's your name, it's not a nickname?
	Maybe he named him after, you know, a pack of Ziggy's where you roll a blunt at.
	Oh yeah, he definitely was named.
	Ziggy.
	Hi, this is my son Joint.
	He was the joint roller of the crew.
	Probably stoned when he named him.
	This is my son Budweiser.
	Here's the letter we got.
	Hey G-Dog, Matty, and that other guy, thanks for recommending Beard Vic Coffee.
	A couple weeks ago, you said, I know you're buying coffee, so buy from someone that supports people like us.
	Well, I really like that point.
	That night, I bought the two and a half pound bag that they have on special.
	It's easily better than what I was getting before from other coffee companies.
	BeardVet is swagged out, and on God, it's cheaper.
	Especially with the promo code GAVIN.
	It's really good quality coffee.
	It doesn't give me the caffeine jitters that I sometimes get when I drink too much coffee from other whack communist coffee brands.
	This letter's sounding a little too good.
	Who's that from?
	Sir Ziggy?
	We-r-la-dee-da.
	Are we committing fraud here?
	And it's a huge plus that it's American-made and veteran-owned.
	Bet.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	I also bought some beard oil because I was curious, beard curious you might say, and it actually does the job really well.
	I usually get dry skin under my beard and it's a lot better now that I've been using the BeardVet beard oil.
	BeardVet is busting, no cap, for real.
	Okay, I think our ad guy wrote that letter to himself.
	He's so move, we don't know what he's planning.
	We love BeardVet, don't get me wrong, and we love our new ad guy, he's competent, but I think I caught you.
	This is now new.
	We're done with that letter.
	I wanted to share that with you, not only to highlight how much people are enjoying BeardVet products, but also because I would please request that you don't ever say swagged out on God, bus, and no cap.
	But Sean, did you write a fake letter to us and then criticize the letter for having weird slang in it?
	That's, wow, that's meta.
	Wow.
	You guys working bits in the reads.
	And now he's really crapping on this anonymous dude who wrote the letter saying, What are you doing?
	Your great-grandparents went off to fight in World War II at age 17.
	They lied about their age, and here you are saying, on God, no cap, for real, for real.
	I'm glad he likes the coffee, but what the hell is that?
	Anyway, so he's writing a script.
	First, he writes a fake letter.
	And then he writes a script for me to criticize the fake letter.
	This sounds like weed thoughts.
	Yeah, yeah.
	This is the kind of thing you do when you're stoned.
	You go, oh, I have a great idea, man.
	Everything has one more layer than it should.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I'm going to write a fake letter that hits all, because we've got to hit the points.
	Does he have a son named Ziggy?
	What?
	Does he have a son named Ziggy?
	No, actually, when I met him, he was with a broad who was like seven years older and was infertile and didn't want kids.
	And I said, what are you doing, dude?
	Dump her.
	You know what I heard?
	A lot of men are actually the problem with infertility and it gets attributed very commonly to women because it is common but there's a chance it could be the guy.
	Well in my marriage it was the woman because she wouldn't open her legs.
	Oh that does, yes.
	Enter promo code Gavin for 15% off beardvet.com.
	Weird read Sean, weird read.
	Yeah, keep it less meta.
	And it's like paranoia, they're going to think it was an inside job, so let me shit on the guy I just made.
	Then they'll think it's real.
	No, you're right.
	You're right, Detective Shitty.
	Thank you.
	It was definitely something where he goes, I hit the points, but I make it a letter, and then I have Gavin make fun of my letter that I wrote that I faked.
	Yeah.
	And they're not going to call it out.
	It's an ad.
	I'm looking for the Ryan was right bumper, but it's played so seldom.
	Oh, I got it.
	Okay, here we go.
	Is there such a thing?
	It exists.
	I don't know why.
	No, it's not coming, but now Gavin is wrong and Ryan is right.
	I wasn't wrong. - By the way, we have a new segment on the show called Cop Talk.
	And Ryan, if you check the... If you check... Whoa, simmer down.
	If you check the mailbag, you can just put in Cop Talk and you'll hear everyone who sent in the various songs.
	I'll do so choose.
	What?
	That's not a phrase?
	Uh, no.
	It's not a phrase.
	Here's one of the songs.
	Freeze, mother bitches!
	Talk, talk, talk about cops today.
	Talk, talk, talk about cops tonight.
	Talk, talk, talk about cops today.
	Talk, talk, talk about cops tonight.
	You want bitches, mother bitch?
	I was talking about cops.
	That's awesome.
	That's a six I'd say out of ten.
	What?
	I felt an eight energy from there, but maybe you've been privy to some better ones.
	Let's see.
	Here's another one.
	More up Ryan's alley.
	Sounds like, uh... Van Halen-ish.
	Oh, that was fun.
	Short and sweet.
	Here's one.
	Not in sync.
	We're still in person here, once you are fired.
	Stop fired.
	Shut up, I wouldn't know.
	I'm 25, stop fired.
	Cop, talk, talk about cops today.
	Cop, talk, talk about cops today.
	Not in shanks.
	Always talking about cops.
	That reeked.
	Cameo crawler states that, uh, for going Apple at her.
	I think the middle one might be the winner.
	Is that all we got?
	Yeah.
	OK.
	I'd go for the first one.
	Yeah, I like that first one.
	Speaking of cops.
	OK, maybe you're right.
	The LAPD chief has decided that the Blue Lives Matter flag is offensive.
	And you should not have it on your person, you should not be displaying it.
	Oh, what do you think of that, pigs?
	Are all cops bastards?
	Is that true?
	Not all of them.
	That's, you know, you're in California, the Blue Lives Matter.
	They have that at every locker and every precinct.
	Well, don't forget that in New York there was that woman who her dad was killed on duty and she sold those sweatshirts that were part of the K-9 unit and they had a Blue Lives Matter flag on the arm and the kid was sent home from school.
	Remember that?
	Yep.
	Fucking ridiculous.
	So we could be just as bad.
	There was just a recent case here with a sergeant who lost, during the riots, she had a Blue Lives Matter, what do you call it, sticker, oh no, she had a Trump, what do you call it, sticker.
	Oh yeah.
	And she lost, she got like a 30 day vacation hit and she wound up suing.
	Because if she would have had a Black Lives Matter or his, you know, Gay Lives Matter, nobody would have said nothing, but because it said something about Trump, you know, right away, boom, they suspend her, 30 days.
	The liberals, the libs went crazy when they seen that.
	Wait, I'm not familiar with Gay Lives Matter.
	Is that a thing?
	Oh, your rainbow.
	Or the rainbow flag, yeah.
	Yeah, but they never say Gay Lives Matter.
	You just made that up.
	Gay Lives Matter, I love that.
	They all matter!
	Gay lives don't matter, according to fucking Mother Nature.
	You fucked for 37 hours in a row, you invented a disease.
	First it was AIDS, then it was monkey pox.
	I think Nature's saying, slow it down, clown.
	I'm a cowboy.
	I got lesions on my face.
	I'm shooting lows!
	All over the place.
	Had a circuit party for three days.
	I got blisters on my lips.
	I'm wanted.
	I've been sucking too much cock.
	I'm wanted.
	Passed out or not.
	I've done some poppins.
	I got jizz on my face.
	I'm prolapsed.
	Prolapsed!
	And all my holes are filled.
	I'm pink sock to pink sock.
	I'm a cowboy on the huge dick side ride!
	I've seen a million faces!
	And I've fucked them all!
	There you go, Bon Jovi.
	So yeah, show that briefly, 1-2.
	Fuckin' 1-2.
	Fuckin' on the ones and the twos, fuck.
	On a 2-4 there.
	He bans public displays of thin blue line.
	My buddy owns a restaurant and a woman... What's a thin blue line?
	I've never seen... I think it means the American flag with the blue stripe.
	Or maybe just the black flag with the blue line.
	Probably both.
	How does he have the authority to do that?
	It's the American one with the blue and then the firemen have it with the red.
	But I don't think he has the authority to just ban that.
	Well, he could ban it in his command.
	Oh.
	Yeah, but he can't do anything outside of job.
	Fuck off.
	No, I think, where did he ban it from?
	He banned it from the command.
	Well, let's read the intro paragraph.
	Here we go.
	I think the flag was up in the command somewhere.
	At public events and station lobbies.
	The mandate is from Saturday.
	If you walked to a detector squad, they'd have it stickered on the wall and stuff like that.
	And you can't have that now?
	Well, I'm telling you, my buddy owns a restaurant.
	On his Jeep, he has that flag.
	It's the black American flag with the blue line.
	This woman comes in the restaurant, she goes, there's a racist sticker on one of the cars in your parking lot.
	So they all go, oh shit, what, the Klan is here?
	That's not good.
	Bad for business.
	So they run up, they run outside, and they go, what's the problem?
	And she goes, that.
	And he goes, that's a cop thing.
	That guy, his dad's a cop, his brother's cops.
	What the fuck?
	They see it as an anti-black lives matter thing.
	It means black lives don't matter.
	Yeah, like I'm pro-kneeing.
	Like remember they banned the fucking puppy from Paw Patrol?
	Yeah.
	Was she black, the woman making the complaint?
	No, she was a rich, white, liberal, probably Jewish.
	Didn't anybody tell her she was a fucking asshole?
	Well, they're owners of the restaurant, right?
	So they said, they said, the guy with the cop father was the one defending his own sticker.
	The cop father.
	He explained, he was like, look, my dad's a cop, my brother's a cop, it just means it's a cop sticker.
	And she goes, in this day, this is a couple years ago, like real peak George Floyd, she goes, in this day and age, that sticker trivializes black lives.
	Because she's so acclimated and versed in black lives.
	She's so tolerant.
	It triggers me.
	They have names for them, people, they're called Karens.
	Yes.
	Yeah, when was the last time you were remotely near a black life?
	Well, her maid probably comes, or the child caretaker.
	Yeah, I honestly believe that's where a lot of their benevolence comes from.
	From their Zimbabwean housemaid.
	And they're like, you're so special.
	I see it all the time, honey, you have?
	They're up and down pushing their strollers with all the kids in them.
	Yeah.
	When I first moved to New York.
	I love doing that.
	I'm in Manhattan.
	I always say, what a beautiful baby you have.
	A lot of rich Africans adopting white kids.
	He has your eyes.
	I have a friend I used to work with that he had a white wife, but all his side chicks were black.
	And he told me that he grew up pretty wealthy on Long Island.
	White guy, obviously.
	Yup, yup, talented guy.
	He had black nannies and he got all his love from black nannies his whole life.
	And he had an affinity for black women because of that.
	There you go.
	You know, I heard Filipina nannies, when they're changing the diaper, they put the penis in their mouth.
	I'm not joking.
	I've heard this, yeah.
	When the baby's wriggling like that, they do that, and the baby just goes... It calms... Well, that would calm me down for sure.
	If I was a baby and they did that, I'd be like...
	Oh yeah.
	Change that diaper you fucking whore.
	I'd be shit in my pants every minute.
	But you just have poopoo diaper.
	I don't know.
	Maybe it's all those laxatives I stole.
	Why are you eating chili so much lately?
	Why do you keep breaking into medicine cabinets and taking X-Lax?
	Why are you nounching on bean cans?
	That's actually disturbing.
	Yeah, isn't it rape?
	Yeah, that's child molestation.
	A lot of bad things.
	But maybe a boy who had a Filipina nanny would identify with that.
	Next thing you know, he's fucking...
	In 20 years, when I go into a nursing home, I'm going to request a Filipino aid when they're changing my diapers.
	Put that in my advance directive, please.
	She's not used to 8 inches.
	I'm going to put that in my will.
	Speaking of, I've got a lot of cop stuff obviously because we got cops and criminals on the show.
	Let's go back to the nanny.
	She's a cowboy with a kid's penis in her mouth.
	I got a gun in my mouth.
	It's a one-inch uncircumcised dick of a rich kid.
	Who's like three months old.
	He'll shit himself.
	He shits his pants!
	Only the diapers changed!
	When I hear this... I know it's blue job time for the babies!
	Dinner bell.
	No good.
	Ooh, it reeks in here.
	What's this?
	Shoots a dude and he doesn't care?
	Oh yeah, I love the whole, just tiz them.
	Or like, shoot them in the toe.
	You don't have to go for chest cavity.
	Everyone thinks that you shoot someone anywhere.
	They're pinky or whatever.
	You shoot off their hat like in the Wild Wild West and they're gonna, they'll calm down.
	No, there's dudes where you shoot them in the chest many times and they're still coming at you with a knife.
	So I think this is a state trooper.
	Did you send me this, Tim?
	Yeah, yep.
	Is that upstate?
	I don't know where it's from.
	Somebody sent it to me.
	Okay, calm down.
	But uh...
	So he's got a knife.
	I can see something in his right hand.
	He wants to die.
	Okay, party's over.
	Nope.
	Okay, party's over.
	Nope.
	Okay, party's over.
	Nope.
	Okay, party's over.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	What are we at?
	Six now?
	Seven?
	I think he did get a leg shot.
	It looks like the cop fell.
	Yeah, he was limping.
	Did the cop get the ball?
	I think the cop tripped.
	Okay, kill him!
	Have you ever been shot at?
	Matty, you got shot at, right?
	Yeah, I've been shot.
	Oh, you've been shot?
	Yeah.
	I have a hole in the back of my leg.
	Was that from that party in Brooklyn with the glass?
	No, that was the first shootout I was ever in.
	On Myrtle Avenue in Fort Greene Projects.
	What happened there again?
	They tried to rob me.
	What were you doing in the projects?
	No, I was at a house party.
	Who do you know in the hood?
	Well, my buddy lived there on Prospect Street.
	A real-time interrogation.
	So I went to the bodega at like 4 o'clock.
	I was tripping on ecstasy.
	I was rolling my ass off.
	Me and my buddy, I said, hey, take a walk with me because I don't want to walk by myself.
	Up on Myrtle Avenue.
	Why was he taking a walk?
	To go buy beer or cigarettes or something?
	No, we only got water.
	Bottles of water.
	Oh, okay.
	And on the way back, I was like, oh, let me get a cigarette.
	I don't smoke.
	Let me get a dollar.
	I ain't got no money for ya.
	And then, uh, I said, just, I tapped my buddy.
	I said, just get around the corner, and the building's right there.
	We'll just get in the lobby, but the door was closed, so... He was with somebody, and I pulled my gun out, and I had him, he came, and he's standing in the door, jamming the door, and but... Wait a minute, he's jamming the door, but the door's locked.
	He was, he had his back in the, his back like, this is the door frame.
	Like this.
	He had a knife in his hand.
	So I got him from here to that light.
	And I'm like, go ahead.
	You know, I'm going to blast you.
	So I don't see his buddy.
	He comes in, he puts a fucking gun right over the guy's shoulder.
	Shoots the fucking lobby glass out of the door.
	I said, fucking run up the stairs.
	We ran up to the first lady.
	So now I can see their feet and everything.
	Now I'm in an elevated position.
	You got the drop on him.
	Yeah.
	So, they took off and ran.
	It was a fire department literally right across the street.
	No cops ever came.
	So he pegged you once.
	He got you in the leg.
	No, no, no.
	I didn't get shot that day.
	I got shot years later.
	Well, let's hear about the leg shot.
	So what was it?
	What happened?
	Oh, there was a big bailing somewhere and I think it was a ricochet because it didn't go like all the way through.
	I just have like some soft tissue damage.
	Okay.
	No details?
	The guy in Brooklyn, it must have been a Puerto Rican with a knife.
	But he brought a knife to a gun battle.
	Yeah, his buddy had a gun.
	Yeah, they upgraded.
	He's like, alright, this is your problem now.
	Yep.
	But why aren't you giving us more details about the calf shot?
	No one's gonna get incriminated.
	Well, I didn't even know, it was weird because I didn't even know I was shot at the time.
	And everyone, I was like, is everyone alright?
	And we're talking.
	And then I'm like, why the fuck is my foot wet?
	Because the blood was just running down my leg into my shoe.
	And then, when I realized, I was like, oh, now.
	Matty, who shot the gun?
	So we're not getting any more details about the melee.
	It was just some hullabaloo.
	I was walking down the street one day and... You're a cowboy.
	Soft tissue on my calf.
	I shot myself right in the ass.
	The gun in my pants, it's like a six string, but the gun.
	Yeah.
	And when I shoot people, it's like shooting people.
	It's shooting people.
	I don't have to use a metaphor.
	I have a gun.
	It was a 1911A, 7 plus 1.
	What kind of gun did you carry?
	Me?
	I've carried all different kinds of guns.
	What was your favorite?
	My favorite?
	One of my favorites was a single double action Sig 226.
	Okay.
	What did you go to jail for?
	Oh, which one?
	I had a long gun and a pistol.
	The one with the pistol where you gave it to a prospect who was actually a cop.
	Yeah, undercover agent.
	Not a good idea.
	Don't give your gun when you're a convicted felon.
	Did you sell it to him or did you give it to him?
	No, no, no.
	I knew I was going to get pulled over leaving.
	I was in a place called Fast Eddie's in Virginia.
	And the goon squad was out there in the parking lot, so there was like five black SUVs.
	So I was in the club at the time.
	And I said, you know we're going to get pulled over as soon as we pull out of this parking lot.
	So I said, listen, because in Virginia, all the guys, as long as you're over 21 and out of felony, everyone carries guns.
	So I said, hey, are you going to the party in Maryland tomorrow?
	The guy goes, yep.
	I said, all right, we'll take a walk.
	So we walk back into the bar, and I unload the gun.
	I give it to him.
	I go, you know, see me tomorrow and give it back to me.
	He's like, all right, Aaron, no problem.
	Well, when you hit the penal law in New York, with... I don't know if it's with guns, but with drugs, if you're smoking a joint and I pass it to you, that's sale.
	Yeah.
	You don't have to exchange money, you just gotta give it to them.
	Or if I give it to you, yeah.
	So that's just probably the same with guns, too.
	I was charged with... Well, you were on parole, right?
	No, I was just convicted felon at the time.
	Oh.
	I was charged in the federal system with 922 G1, which is felon in possession of a firearm.
	What was the firearm?
	It was a .22.
	Oh.
	How'd you get caught with a .22?
	They're so small.
	He handed it to a cop.
	Oh, you gave it to a cop.
	That was the felony charge?
	Yeah, yeah.
	It was a Derringer.
	It was an undercover Hells Angel.
	It was a brief break and I had four shots.
	It was a nice little pistol.
	It was from Italy.
	And then they tried to charge me with foreign commerce and interstate commerce because the gun was manufactured in Italy, it was imported in Georgia in like 1962, and for like 40 years no one knew where it was until I had it in Virginia.
	So now you're international gun smuggling?
	Oh, for fuck's sakes.
	Fucking pigs!
	I swear to God!
	- Foreign commerce and interstate commerce.
	- Oh, for fuck's sakes. - And then fell into possession, and then on the back end they put a 924E, which is armed career criminal.
	If it applied, they wouldn't have to re-indict me.
	- Fucking pigs.
	I swear to God.
	- Fun times.
	- Fry 'em up like bacon, that's what I say.
	- Fun times.
	- Ryan, why do Maddie and I look like we're in a Scorsese film, and John and Dickman look like they're on a motorcyclist GoPro?
	I wanted to make it seem like an intense interrogation.
	Obviously, Tim's the good cop.
	But dude, I asked you seven days ago to make sure the podcast lighting looks good.
	No, I changed it just now.
	I'm not one to argue, but these seats, you know, we're going to have to upgrade them.
	No, those are Eames seats.
	Those are ergonomic.
	Oh, I see what you did.
	OK.
	Did they make these for men?
	With big asses?
	Yeah, it made Matty all intense looking so it looks like a cop show because he was being interrogated.
	So where'd you get the gun?
	I was like, we got a live interrogation boys.
	That's the thing about cops too.
	They've been talking to liars for two decades.
	So they know instantly when you're full of shit.
	But if I was, I used one of my favorite guns to carry if I was at like a large event where it was public and there was known to be ops there.
	I would carry a Smith & Wesson Featherlite Hammerless because you can shoot it from inside your pocket.
	Damn.
	What does it look like?
	- It looks like a revolver with no hammer.
	- Oh.
	- The featherlight is aluminum, right?
	- Yeah.
	- It's alloy?
	- Yeah. - The NYPD went to that, like, we had hammers on ours.
	They went to that, like, 1990.
	Now they're at the Glocks now.
	But when you were hanging out doing that, doing your gangster shit, did you carry the gun or did you, well, like most of the punks, they give it to their girlfriend?
	- No, no, no.
	No, I'm just saying a lot of people... No, I would carry down my person.
	I'm not calling him a punk.
	No, no, no.
	Most times, because I would get pulled over a lot, because, you know, you got a big giant pull me over sign on your back.
	So, I would already have connections to where I was going, so I wouldn't have to travel from my home to, say, North Carolina.
	When I get to North Carolina, I know who to ask for a piece.
	Okay.
	So, in transit I wouldn't have to worry about getting pulled over and getting jacked up.
	And getting tossed, alright.
	Yep.
	This is like a police interrogation where the guy isn't shutting up.
	You get the details.
	Well, I'm not a criminal anymore.
	Yeah.
	I love watching these interrogations because they always start out going, I don't know what you're talking about.
	And then you watch it for an hour and the guy's just like, Can I call my mom?
	And then it ends with, uh, is there the death penalty in this state?
	No, then it ends when they're putting their jacket over their head like this, and they're sleeping on the floor.
	Oh, yeah, they turtle up.
	Yeah, they turtle up on the ground.
	It's like, wake the fuck up.
	Yeah, you know, it's not going anywhere.
	No.
	You have to come out from that little cocoon you made.
	It's like you're so cold.
	I've been wanting to watch this with you guys for a while.
	Go to 1-7.
	So this guy has a backpack stolen.
	He traces it with an apple tag to this house.
	Well, two houses really.
	This driveway.
	And he calls the police.
	The police go, alright, you did all our work for us.
	They go there.
	Everything's going pretty well.
	Even the backpack thieves are like, oh well, okay, I guess we're fucked.
	And the sister is driving by.
	The sister in every sense of the word.
	And she sees them going through the garbage outside where they find tons of wallets and purses.
	And she starts going, you can't check my brother's garbage!
	It's against the law!
	No, no it's not.
	No, it's garbage.
	Believe it or not, once you put that out on the street, it becomes city property.
	You can't go through it.
	Yeah, but in this video, I don't think it's on the street.
	I've seen this video.
	That was a bold move.
	Hi, I don't want to bother you.
	I've seen this video.
	Apple AirTag, leading him to the reported residence.
	He also said the backpack contains several important papers including military documents and banking information.
	He told police he knocked on the door asking the resident about the backpack.
	That was a bold move.
	Hi, I don't want to bother you.
	Did you rob me?
	Yes sir.
	Because I'm calling the police.
	What's going on?
	So, my bag got stuck.
	That's such a white guy thing.
	Military documents?
	I wouldn't bother with it.
	I don't want to waste your time, sir.
	So you can skip ahead.
	Let's get to the sister.
	I already told you the backstory.
	Yeah, there she is.
	There she is!
	Yeah, but if they went onto the private property... One thing I learned in Austin, Texas, great way to pick up chicks, when a hot girl walks in the bar and you're with your friends, you go, there she is!
	Really?
	They love it.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Dang.
	Those did well.
	What's going on?
	I just want to know what's going on Wouldn't it be funny if the cops were like, uh we should get out of here?
	We didn't know we're sorry ma'am.
	I don't know the legality of that because they went on to the property.
	Well, well it's in a garbage can next to the house, but it's still on private property.
	I think what they could do is they could actually secure the house so no one could go out, go to the district attorney's office and get a warrant.
	Yeah, that's what they do.
	Or, what they should do is somebody's screaming in there.
	Yeah, then you have probable cause.
	Well, you could preserve evidence, right?
	Is that the point you were going to make?
	If you feel that something's getting destroyed in the house.
	I would hear screams or something, and then, you know, boom, the door.
	I would hear screams.
	Oh, I thought you meant... Oh, I see.
	No, no, no, you're right.
	Yeah, I thought you meant if you heard maybe a frickin' guy's flushing the toilet.
	If it was a car, it would be different, because a car is a movable object.
	You cannot go to a district attorney's office and get a warrant for the car.
	You know, you might be able to go inside it.
	You know, you'd have to go to a hearing, like a MAP hearing or...
	See what the judge says.
	But what they do is they say they smell pot.
	In the garbage can?
	No, in the house.
	From the street.
	The door's open, he's talking to the guy, and then they go, we smell marijuana, we want to go in.
	Well, that's a first.
	He's being creative.
	I'm sure he smelled pot.
	I didn't smell pot until you walked up to me.
	Dude, I smell pot on the 95 when I'm going into the city.
	In my car.
	And I'm not smoking pot.
	And you're doing 75 miles an hour and you're like, wow, someone's really blazing up on the highway.
	Yes.
	And all the windows are shut and it's going into, I don't know, my grill?
	It's going into the air conditioner.
	Oh yeah.
	I don't have the air conditioner on in January.
	It's like that everywhere in Manhattan right now.
	Well, water.
	Water.
	Oh, dude.
	Williamsburg Brooklyn is like walking through Bob Marley's asshole.
	I'm walking on an asshole.
	It's intense.
	What does Bob Molly's asshole smell like?
	Lots of weed.
	He doesn't eat.
	He lives off the weed while he's dead.
	He smokes the ganja.
	Ziggy's.
	He lives off the weed particles.
	Gotta go through Ziggy's asshole.
	Ziggy's asshole.
	That's a good name for a band.
	That's a good name for the show.
	Ziggy's asshole.
	Okay, I'm writing that down.
	But get back to this creature.
	I come here often and I drove by and see you guys searching my brother's garbage can so I am just wondering what's going on.
	Okay, well, if you don't live here, you don't need to know right now.
	Actually, I do.
	Mario.
	What's going on?
	Mario?
	Time for it.
	We have enough game runner.
	Yahoo!
	The female was later identified as 22-year-old Chertisha Camacho.
	Who are these people?
	They're the ones who called us.
	Okay, so they don't live here.
	I'm just trying to figure out what's going on.
	He had a bag stolen.
	He had a bag stolen from his car last night.
	It had an air tag in it.
	Air tag places it somewhere between these two houses.
	- Yeah, go ahead, thank you.
	- So he had a bag stolen from his car last night.
	Had an Airtag in it.
	Airtag places it somewhere between these two houses.
	- So-- - You know who lives in the other houses? - We're talking with them right now.
	We're gonna go next door, but the air tag shows... Look at that poor white guy, just sitting in the fucking passenger seat.
	I mean, he got no case there, because anyone could have thrown it in the fucking garbage can.
	Can't blame the people inside the house.
	Yeah, but you can continue your investigation.
	Well, what about the fact that the garbage can is full of wallets and purses?
	I mean, that's sure that's going on the... Well, to get to probable cause, you're going to reasonable suspicion.
	You see the purses in there, you smell the reefer.
	That's gonna justify a warrant.
	Right but they actually find the backpack in the bathroom.
	But say they didn't.
	But you know something the cops doing the right thing even if the case got thrown out you know the guy got his backpack back.
	Yeah but as to Matty's point he could just say I don't know my I guess my garbage is a dumping ground for thieves.
	I know you're lying, but in a court of law.
	This goes to court?
	Yeah.
	But you gotta be a reasonable, prudent man to think like that.
	And most people say, you know, that's bullshit.
	So you think a jury would say that's bullshit?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, there's the law and then there's a jury going... And then you have all these cases, right?
	So you go back, you get all the IDs of all the people, you find out all the police reports that they made and they all ended up in his garbage can.
	All these stolen bags and wallets.
	Yeah, it's just such a great spot to fucking dump.
	But what's great now is you could take those wallets out and put through DNA.
	Find out if he went through that with his dirty little fingers.
	Oh yeah.
	Hey, there's no need to get into ad hominem attacks here.
	You could have the beautiful, wonderful little mulatto fingers.
	Manicured.
	He's very hygienic.
	Not dirty.
	Yeah.
	His clean little finger.
	Does everyone like Matty's new microphone?
	I think we need a Filipino.
	Yeah, I like the setup.
	Do we need a Filipino woman to go over there to you?
	I'll put a wig on.
	You heard that, huh?
	You want me to suck you off while I change your Depends?
	Sucks getting old, oh my god.
	I think I just shit myself.
	Yeah, you like that mic, Matty?
	Yeah, I love it.
	Pretty cool.
	Pretty cool.
	A real radio star.
	Alright, let's get back to her, because I really, I really enjoy these videos, and I think of, when I watch this, I think of it from two perspectives.
	I think of Maddie giving, like, state trooper shit who harass them all the time, and then I think of cops having to deal with these fucking assholes and going, shut the fuck up, bitch.
	Like, she just needs to be tuned up.
	How funny would it be if we had body cameras when Maddie used to get stopped and we could forward requests?
	Oh my god, that footage.
	With our buddy?
	With your buddy?
	But he used to fuckin' impound my bike.
	I think he impounded my bike three times in one month one time.
	I was like, come on dude, really?
	So, I guess my point is that I betcha Matty would get the sort of limit to how much of a dick you can be.
	He'd be like, really?
	Are you fuckin' serious?
	You're fuckin' pulling me over again?
	You know what he said the last time he did?
	He goes, don't worry.
	I'm not gonna have him bring it to the impound.
	I'll have him bring it to the State Trooper's Barracks.
	So when you get out, you can just take it and go?
	Are you fucking kidding me?
	Did he still make you pay for the tow?
	Of course!
	I thought he was doing you a favor.
	And I wasn't even...
	I didn't have anything to do with what was going on.
	What was going on?
	They said me and my buddy were leapfrogging.
	Because he pulled up behind me, so I pulled over and he drove right past me and kept going.
	So I'm sitting on the side of 87 North, by like Slopesburg, like Spring Valley, and I'm like, well how long am I supposed to, it's fucking like 9.30 at night, so how long am I supposed to fucking sit here?
	Like he didn't like get on his mic and say like, pull over.
	So I go on, so I go up about three quarters of a mile, maybe a mile, and he's got my buddy pulled over.
	So we used to, if one of us got pulled over, we'd just go to the next exit, pull off, and wait.
	If he didn't show up within an hour, you know he got locked up.
	So, as I'm getting off the exit, cops are like driving up the exit and run the wrong way.
	You know, they jump out and one guy, he had his dog, I think by his collar, by his pinky.
	He's like, the dog's gonna bite you in the face.
	He's like, turn your bike off.
	I go, I'm not fucking moving.
	You got your fucking dog like here.
	I'm like, why would I move?
	So he goes, oh we know you were doing, you would leap.
	I go, I said, put it this way, if I didn't want you to stop me, you weren't catching me on my motorcycle.
	I go, I'm sitting at the red light on the exit.
	Where am I going?
	I go, I'm waiting to see what's happening with him.
	So they arrest him.
	Impound his bike.
	They don't find nothing on me.
	So now I gotta go back over the Tapsee Bridge to Tarrytown.
	That's where they had the... It used to be right over the bridge in Tarrytown.
	So, the guy's going to me.
	An older trooper.
	Right here with a mustache.
	And he's going, listen, Matt, he goes, if you got anything on you, he's like, now's the time.
	He goes, because if we get to the state trooper barracks, I can't do it.
	I go, listen, I appreciate the offer.
	That's bullshit.
	I said that all the time.
	You never know.
	I go, but I don't have anything on me.
	And you weren't under arrest.
	Oh, I sat there for eight hours, handcuffed to the wall, strip searched, everything.
	He didn't charge you with anything?
	No.
	He charged my buddy.
	Oh, all right.
	What was that charge?
	He charged his own vehicle.
	What was that charge?
	Him?
	Yeah.
	Oh, I think he found him with a paraphernalia or something like that.
	So when that guy said that was your last chance, did he want you to like throw coke out the window?
	He wanted me to like confess if I had anything.
	I'm like, dude, I appreciate it, but I wasn't born yesterday.
	I hate to disappoint.
	I don't have anything.
	So have you ever deked out the cops just by going, fuck this me?
	Yeah.
	So you can do that.
	Well, physically.
	Have I ever done it?
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	Cause Suge at the gym, John, he goes, he goes, I just got my insurance or registration for my motorcycle.
	And I'm like, what?
	We're like 55.
	Haven't you been pulled over?
	And he goes, Oh no.
	Ryan, why is that in lower case?
	Oh, this isn't the right one then.
	Jesus Christ, you're the king of mistakes.
	He probably never stops.
	He goes, I would just flip up my license plate on the back and just MEEEEEEEEEE disappear.
	Now, as a taxpayer, is it that simple to elude you guys?
	Yes.
	On a motorcycle?
	Yeah.
	I never chase.
	Well, you can't outrun a radio, but... It's also timing, like, you know, you're on a bike, if somebody pulls out in front of you and tags you, like, if I was chasing the guy on a bike and another car pulled out and hit you, I'd probably just make a U-turn.
	Yeah, I don't suggest it.
	I never chase motorcycles.
	Why not?
	It's dangerous.
	It's dangerous.
	I don't want the guy on the bike to get hurt.
	It's just, it ain't worth it.
	But it's worth chasing a car.
	I have attempted to pull over motorcycles, and when they stop, I'm so grateful that they stopped, I never write them a ticket.
	Because I'm like, everybody else just takes off.
	But most guys that are riding bikes, they're pretty cool.
	Most of them are, you know, hard-working people.
	Sport bikes take off.
	Cruisers don't.
	Rice Rockets.
	No, the Rice Rockets.
	That's it.
	The ones you see down is like a hundred of them driving down fucking Fifth Avenue doing popping wheelies.
	Oh, those guys on the quads?
	Yeah.
	Oh boy.
	The guys who beat up that Asian dude?
	Remember that on the West Side Highway?
	Yeah.
	That guy, Steinglass, who punished the cop who was with them, he was an off-duty Puerto Rican dude who was with the bikers.
	Yeah.
	And he got him fired because, I don't know, he didn't... Well, it's pretty much like a gang... I don't know what they charged, but it was gang assault, I would assume.
	Yeah, he wasn't part of the... You remember the story, right?
	There's an Asian dude, he got freaked out, he hit one of the bikers, they got really pissed off, and they're, when I say bikers, they're like black dudes on quads and dirt bikes, and then he tries to get off the next exit, they surround him, they rip him out of the car, and they start beating him with the helmet.
	Yeah, it was a guy named Rachel.
	Well, the Asian guy was driving DWO, that's why.
	What's DWO?
	Driving While Oriental.
	They don't have the Oriental vision.
	Actually, there's three.
	It's driving while oriental, driving while old, or driving while orthodox.
	If you're driving while orthodox, you gotta be in a van.
	Mini van, yep.
	That has no, bald tires.
	Bald tires, yeah.
	Always bald tires.
	Because I guess God is gonna like... Your haze and beard flying around.
	You know, that cop that did that, like, he was supposed to ID himself.
	He should have did the right thing.
	The guy's getting tuned up there.
	Yeah.
	I don't really have sympathy for that officer.
	Really?
	Wrong place at the wrong time.
	Wasn't the wrong place.
	He could have went over there and just got between him and say, listen, leave this guy alone.
	I was thinking maybe, was he scared too?
	Because they might have beat the fuck out of him too?
	He was a member of the club.
	Those guys that were tuning the guy up was probably friends of his.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's the problem.
	No, they all had the same outfit on.
	It wasn't like a real motorcycle club, but it was like a little fucking group.
	Yeah.
	Of Rikens.
	Okay, can we get back to this grumpy black chick?
	You can jump ahead if you guys are bored.
	No, you don't.
	Now, without my brother's permission, you don't.
	That's illegal enough.
	I can't even search my neighbor's garbage can.
	So I know you can't search my brother's garbage can.
	Don't do nothing like that without his permission.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	That's right.
	Thank you.
	Due to the air tag ping location and marijuana odor coming from the house, officers found it reasonable to make entry and make sure there were no other residents.
	All right, who else is home right now, Mario? - Just you. - How do you smell it?
	I got my door closed.
	Oh shit, the screen is ripped, that's how you can smell it.
	This guy is like, go ahead, arrest me, I don't give a fuck.
	Mistake one was opening the door!
	Knocked onto the door!
	Fuck him.
	Check out that picture I texted you, Ryan, from today's New York Post.
	It has this black dude, who I believe shot a cop, yawning.
	I don't smell weed.
	My brother don't smoke weed.
	Did y'all check the neighbor's house if y'all smell weed?
	No, sir.
	Y'all don't have the right to do that.
	There is no scent of weed in this house.
	Do y'all wanna come and smell?
	Do y'all wanna come and smell?
	We're recording right now.
	Does someone else wanna come and smell?
	I'll smell.
	My brother don't smoke weed, so I don't smell like weed.
	They gotta invent a sniffer for the police that they can sniff.
	Yeah.
	Rotate that.
	The guy on the... So this is the new Save the Children law in New York, where if they're under 18, we don't prosecute.
	And you're like, OK, I guess we shouldn't throw shoplifters in jail.
	But then you read their crimes, like zoom in on the dude with the money, this aspiring rapper, up and coming rapper Cameron Williams, 17, was shipped to a Brooklyn juvenile facility and not Rikers Island after allegedly shooting a city cop.
	He was later released on bail.
	Wow.
	He had a 2020 gun rap on his record for which he got off with probation because of his juvenile status.
	And then go look at the yawner.
	We should just call all of them yawners.
	Yeah, that's our new... He didn't get no sleep last night.
	Yo, you said yawner with a hard R. I don't mind yawna.
	Kevin Bogg, a 16 year old who slugged a city cop.
	That's what people used to do if they were like homeless and they wanted to get three hots and a cot.
	They'd punch a cop and go, I'll go to jail for a couple months and at least I can eat and sleep.
	For the winter, yeah.
	Because I hate being homeless.
	I'm yawning, yawning.
	I'm waiting for that car.
	Was released without bail because the law class wanted him as a juvenile, even though he had also walked three days earlier.
	How old is he, 16?
	After allegedly jumping a 49-year-old at a Manhattan strap hanger in Midtown.
	Why does it matter what religion a venial is?
	Why do they have to point that out?
	Well, 16 is legal age in the eyes of the law.
	He's a juvenile?
	He's not a juvenile.
	Who cares what kind of denial he is?
	Look at that.
	This is boring.
	Cheetos, go here.
	Please set a case beyond the controversial law.
	Demonstrate the Big Apple's recent uptick.
	13-year-old... How old is that guy?
	30?
	Yeah.
	Well, he's 13 as far as years on earth.
	He had a beard?
	Oh, that's a mask.
	Mask.
	He was ex... So, 13-year-old Peter Gangbanger was executed in the back of an Uber after getting released without bail in the midst of a Bronx gang war, and despite three prior gang busts, gun busts.
	Why was he not in some kind of limited security thing?
	Yeah, so he did an execution of their ops, and these kids in the South Bronx, I don't know what it's like in your day, John, but they're just shooting each other for fun.
	I don't even think they're in fucking gangs.
	It's just like, this is my housing project, that's your housing project.
	Trust me, it was a lot lawless.
	It's gotten better now.
	It was very lawless back in the 80s.
	So it's it was during the crack epidemic where they were like, you know shooting everybody was shooting each other But at least they had a point at least they were going to reason they have this territory war It was I want to sell this area crack.
	I want this crack money.
	My red top goes here.
	Not your green top.
	Yeah Yeah, that's better than today where it's there's zero reason for it.
	I I think nowadays if you diss somebody on Instagram or Facebook, they're gonna come after you.
	Yes!
	Yeah, that's what it is.
	You dissed me on Facebook Live, so I'm gonna fucking kill you.
	I'm worried about this guy over here, you know.
	You did diss him.
	You dissed me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.
	Listen, I'm a reformed man.
	Alright.
	We need a metal detector here.
	We gotta toss him before he can get in here.
	I only carry a small edged weapon these days.
	He carries a wood gun now.
	It doesn't really penetrate the skin, but it stings.
	It shoots pepper balls.
	It's perfectly legal.
	It's for hunting pigeons.
	Yeah, these kids are a bunch of losers.
	What are you, Cool Trump?
	You got it, sister.
	Cool Trump.
	I came here on my motorcycle.
	You wouldn't even believe it.
	Maddie probably knows.
	I drive here.
	I got my girl on the back.
	She's holding me by the waist very tightly.
	And not because she's scared.
	Because she likes me.
	Okay?
	Which is more than I can say.
	Excuse me.
	It's more than I could say for you nerds.
	Why are you smoking an invisible cigarette?
	No, that's... This is me doing cunnilingus when I'm like motioning.
	Gets the woman hot.
	You blow on it?
	They do.
	That before or after you're grabbed by the pussy?
	Oh!
	Hickory dickory dock.
	Alright, now I feel like I'm torturing everyone with this clip, but let's just get to where she freaks out.
	I know we're used to, we have our short attention spans.
	I love watching these for like an hour.
	Can we play from the beginning again?
	All of these are like an hour and 20 minutes.
	She's already obstructing, I would just remove her from the...
	Mario, you were named after a video game!
	Is he trying to videotape him?
	He's playing Angry Birds.
	You were named after a video game! - The reason they're in there is because you told him to go in the bathroom.
	- I swear to God, I'm not gonna talk to you.
	- Was he trying to videotape him?
	- After a brief search of the home, an officer-- - He's playing Angry Birds.
	- Yo, what y'all doing right now, really?
	- Stop resisting!
	- Stop! - Stop! - Stop! - Stop!
	Stop!
	Backpack's in the bathroom.
	You're an idiot.
	Stop smoking pot.
	Get a life.
	You stole a backpack.
	How much money did you get out of that backpack, by the way?
	$10,000?
	You probably got fucking four bucks.
	I wouldn't even steal anything with ten grand in it.
	You know, the cops should have said, listen, we're looking for the backpack.
	Give us the backpack and we'll get the hell out of here.
	They might have said yes.
	Where are they?
	Oh, I think this is where all of these are.
	They seem to all be in La Crosse, Wisconsin.
	Oh, Midwestern.
	I feel like there's not a lot of La Crosse going on there in that town.
	No, we like field hockey.
	So anyway, you watch enough of these and you start recognizing people.
	And I think this is her again in 1-8.
	Again, just the escalation to freaking the fuck out is instantaneous.
	You know how long it takes me to get mad?
	I say it to my kids too.
	I go, guys, I'm getting mad slowly and once I get mad, I can't get unmad.
	So stop pushing these buttons because we're 23 minutes away from me losing my temper.
	And same with street fights or anything.
	I need to get a few blows to the head before I can get mad enough to really jump into it.
	Did you say blows to the head and instant aneus?
	Because let me tell you, I get blows to my head all the time and my girlfriend gives me instant aneus.
	I put it in her ass whenever I want.
	Wow.
	Trump got real cool since he stopped being president.
	Where's your chest hair at?
	Oh, no, it's blonde, so... Excuse me.
	I'm asking the questions here, copper.
	Okay?
	That's a cool trunk.
	Yeah, I like it.
	Must be lifted.
	I always suspected he was that cool.
	Yeah.
	He can't be very cool with the president.
	Whoa.
	Let's go to that clip, Jamie.
	Well, no, you don't have to scroll very much with this.
	That does look like the same chick ready to rock.
	What was the final outcome of this?
	The final outcome!
	Hi, excuse me?
	Hey, stop the car!
	Stop!
	What?!
	What are you doing here?
	Turn the car off.
	Why does it matter?
	Turn the car off now.
	That's existential.
	I'm gonna start saying that to cops when I get pulled over.
	Why does it matter?
	Why are we here?
	Listen fortune cookie, open the fucking door.
	Turn the car off.
	Turn the car off now.
	Look at a tent in that window.
	Don't ever forget that.
	Yo, you just spilled my Wawa 7 up.
	Oh, you know that spray.
	Come on. - No, let me tell you something.
	No, I guess it's a different woman, right?
	Palm trees there.
	Palm trees.
	Forgive me for seeing all the similarities.
	As soon as the universal circus started exiting this clown car.
	I'm just wondering if her wig falls off.
	It does.
	That's not her natural hair.
	laughs Turn around.
	She's from Sri Lanka.
	starts Stop touching me!
	You're not under a wrap.
	starts You came in this box style!
	Don't you ever put that ***** for me* I'll spit on you!
	Stop!
	Dude, all these guys get out- Don't spit on them, that's assault.
	Doesn't that kind of make you nervous all these guys getting out of the car like you don't know if they're they have a weapon and they're getting ready to do something.
	Yes, I'd be shitting my pants.
	Like that guy right there like you don't see his hands.
	I'm also getting kind of meth vibes from this because someone is very easily ramped up or maybe... It's like it's early in the morning.
	Yeah, or very very late at night.
	Or maybe just blatant attitude?
	I don't care!
	You came in this box style!
	Don't you ever put some f*** for me, I'll spit on you!
	Stop telling me!
	Under arrest.
	Stop!
	You're pulling my hair!
	What the f*** are you doing?!
	Sit down!
	I almost mumbled!
	The other fear is if you don't take her down and handcuff her, you're gonna be made fun of at the station for the rest of your life.
	Yeah.
	Why, she can kill you just as fast as anyone else.
	Yep.
	Oh, there goes the hair.
	Oh, shit.
	Why you step on my hair?
	Why you disrespect my hair, though?
	It's so funny that she gets that back in a Ziploc bag when she gets released.
	And here's your clothes and your hair.
	Well then, get on the ground.
	I can't breathe.
	What are these outbursts?
	Like fucking Little Richards getting arrested.
	On my soul.
	Did she say on my soul?
	I can't breathe.
	Turn your hand behind your back.
	What are these outbursts?
	Woo!
	It's like fucking Little Richard's getting arrested.
	On my soul.
	Did she say on my soul?
	She did.
	Is he cuffing her to the pants?
	Yeah.
	I don't know what he's doing.
	Keeping that one hand while he reaches and grabs the other one.
	Well, he's got solid cuffs, so all you gotta do is hold it, because you can just snap the wrist if you had to.
	Oh, you know what she said?
	She probably said, on mice hole.
	She's on a mouse hole that a mouse will burrow.
	Thanks, Ryan.
	And it's uncomfortable.
	And gross.
	Rabies.
	I've never seen the pants buckle before.
	No, I haven't either, but... What's your other hand doing?
	Back!
	He's like, put your hands behind your... I'm trying something new.
	It's called the pants bucket.
	I'm inventing a new way of handcuffing.
	You're about to be famous.
	If you try to get out, your pants will come off.
	Are you guys allowed to wear... carry the solid cuffs?
	Oh, uh, no.
	The hinge cuffs?
	Yeah.
	We weren't supposed to.
	You're supposed to use the ones that are issued by... We used to carry the Smith & Wesson cuffs.
	Yeah, the M100s.
	With the chain.
	Yeah, but, you know, you're supposed to speed cuff him where you have it set up already so when you hit the wrist, it pops on the other side.
	I always used to break guys' balls if they fucking didn't put the fucking key on the top.
	Oh, to lock the cuff?
	Yeah.
	If you're nice, they'll do that.
	101?
	Don't know how to put the keyhole on top?
	Or double lock it?
	Double lock it.
	And they'd be like, shut up, Matty!
	Fuck!
	No, at that point I would just be gentle and be like, yo, could you put me in two cuffs?
	- 'Cause I'm so fat. - - - Stop putting a f***ing hammer! - Bad hammer! - Stop! - Stop! - This woman needs to be in a mental institution.
	They all do.
	Yeah, at that point you're just making it... Her and the previous woman.
	Where's the camera at?
	In the guy's head or something?
	It looks like it's maybe on his epaulette or something on his shirt.
	By his badge?
	Oh no, it's on his shoulder.
	It seems like a trend with these black women.
	I'm just gonna freak out and I'm gonna just deflect from the whole reason you're here.
	We're not going to discuss why you were called here, what's going on.
	I'm gonna just freak out and we're gonna make it about me, I guess.
	And maybe that's a good tactic.
	You're going to be confused.
	I don't care how good you are at your job.
	If you're screaming at someone, wrestling them, you're going to be distracted and you're just going to be like, I've got to get you in the back of the cruiser and I'll deal with this.
	Is it me or did he never call for backup?
	What was she initially stopped for?
	We weren't told.
	He was called to that residence.
	And she was leaving the residence.
	He was walking in the street.
	He was like, stop.
	It might have been a domestic.
	Yeah, he must have already stopped and was walking over the house.
	And then she starts leaving.
	He's like, no, no, no one's leaving.
	It's going to get to the point now with the police.
	It's like, all right, they're leaving.
	Goodbye.
	What happened?
	Oh, this girl just stabbed me.
	Oh, I wish.
	Next time I come here, I'll stop her.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	I almost slept in that car.
	Call us back if you need us.
	I didn't see her.
	The windows were too tinted.
	Yeah.
	Let us know if she comes around again.
	But with the palm trees, that might be Florida.
	Again, be there in an hour.
	Super dark tent.
	Don't come around here no more.
	He never called for backup or anything.
	No, he'd be made fun of for the rest of his life.
	No, but you don't understand.
	There's other people in the car.
	And don't think she couldn't pull out a gun and shoot him just as fast as anybody.
	The places he'll get you killed.
	I've seen this one before.
	I think somebody else shows up.
	See, that's the thing that when you go down south with the state police, you're by yourself.
	There was always two people in the NYPD.
	It must suck if you're on the highway and you're pulling over a car with three gangsters like this guy over here.
	We double up from midnight to 5am.
	What's that?
	State police double up from midnight to 5am.
	Midnight, what if it's 1130 at night?
	It's dark, you're up in the doorway.
	I had a dog.
	And you got three hood rats, you're like holy shit.
	Did you have the button so the door would open and the dog could come out?
	Yeah.
	That's awesome.
	Oh cool, you got a button on your person.
	Somewhere on his person.
	Yeah, on your belt.
	And then you just push that, the door opens and the dog comes out and kills everyone.
	Well the fur missile gets launched.
	It kills everyone.
	Trust me, I wouldn't want to be bit by a dog like that.
	There's a video of a trooper upstate.
	He's dealing with a chick.
	She's in the backseat, I think, and he tells her, I'm gonna release my dog.
	He's trying to take her out of the car.
	She won't.
	He pops it and just steps out of the way and the dog enters the car and bites the living shit out of it.
	Fuck!
	Well, what do they do?
	When they bite, they just hold on or they just... They're supposed to hold on.
	They're supposed to bite and hold.
	That typewriter shit is not supposed to happen.
	What's the typewriter shit?
	You know, the dog keeps adjusting his bite and he's up and down the arm.
	Pitbulls are totally different, right?
	They get a piece and then they want to rip it off.
	Well, shaking their head, that's totally normal.
	The dog's having a bad bite day.
	But if they're releasing the bite, the dog should bite and hold.
	It should get a nice deep bite and hold.
	And are you, you still hang out with that same dog?
	You guys are still friends?
	He lives in my house.
	He's your roommate?
	Yep.
	Okay.
	Is it, did you, there's a K-9 training unit in like New Windsor, right?
	Yeah.
	Are you familiar with that?
	City of Newburgh owns that property.
	- Is that MTA? - No, that's the city of Newburgh's property.
	MTA's in, they have a facility in Stormville.
	They have a great canine facility. - If MTA and NYPD all had German Shepherds, crime would plummet in New York City.
	- NYPD's got to, they have a canine here.
	You know what's crazy?
	You want to know what's crazy?
	Blacks are so scared of dogs, and I'm sorry.
	You would never see that at a riot.
	Dogs like that.
	No, no more.
	That was the 50s and 60s.
	This is in the 70s, like those, they had the cops, like Highway 1, they still have them, the leather jackets.
	Like, they were sharp looking.
	With the boots?
	And then the NYPD had it in the 70s, but what happened was, they started, someone was complaining they looked like Nazi stormtroopers when they come in with those leather jackets.
	So then they got, and then we had these plastic bullshit ones, you know?
	That's why it works.
	Is it like that in, uh, state police with your dog?
	Say if you got injured, and you retired for injury, the dog would retire too, right?
	So they just spent $35,000... Nah, they don't spend that much.
	But yeah, I mean, if the dog was super, super young, under a year or two years old, they might keep the dog.
	But anything over that, I'd say two is probably the limit.
	I'm glad we brought up the looks, because I meant to show this one five.
	I never realized this until someone tweeted it out, how bad the NYPD is looking these days.
	They're always on their fucking phone.
	They got a pile of junk around their waist.
	Their hat's always off.
	And they're always...
	Not paying attention.
	And then these state troopers show up to monitor the situation.
	New York State Police look much harder targets than NYPD.
	Clean-shaven, in shape, no phones in hand, professional.
	Look at these dudes.
	They're not required to carry all the bullshit.
	Like, we had to carry You know, at one point we had to carry these stupid masks.
	Gas masks?
	Gas masks.
	Gas masks?
	On your person?
	After 9-11?
	You had to have a pen holder, you had to have speed loaders, then you had to have the mace, then you had to have cuffs.
	A whistle?
	Did you need a whistle?
	A whistle, yeah!
	Flashlight.
	A flashlight.
	And then, you know, the lieutenant would line us up at roll call and, you know, they'd say, all right, let's show everybody your flashlight.
	And then we'd be passed it down like nobody would have a flashlight.
	And then I asked this cop, I said, why don't you carry a flashlight, you know, during the day to us?
	He said, listen, anywhere you're going, it's daylight out.
	I'm not going to be going to run into a fucking dark tower, you know, dark tunnel.
	Yeah.
	You know, he's too old for that bullshit.
	We have gas masks, but they're always in the car.
	Yeah, that's what you need.
	Then you get these buff cops.
	They'd show up with a little suitcase.
	They'd have all their shit in there.
	They'd have all types of toys.
	John Rambos.
	Something like that.
	Taco Berries.
	Alright, let's get behind the paywall shortly.
	Let's read a few super chats and start taking calls.
	Uh-oh.
	See, that's the end of that.
	I bet they stopped the German Shepherd shit because it seemed too Civil Rights era.
	Yeah, I thought it was not doing as good.
	Hell, I thought it was just la-di-da and around.
	The riots in Newark and the German Shepherds there were terrifying.
	How are we doing for Super Chats?
	We are doing pretty good.
	the crowds back and during the marches in Selma I guess it's it's terrible looking but you know they are in Florida they still got over there when it chase the suspect a burglary suspect they're great you let the dog out let him do his job how we doing for super chats we are doing a pretty good we haven't read any today let's see Let's go from the bottom here.
	Okay.
	That was last week.
	What are your thoughts on dating a girl with flip-flops on the relationship?
	Was that from last week?
	I'm not sure.
	I don't think so.
	What are your thoughts on dating a girl with flip-flops on the relationship?
	Who flip-flops on?
	Oh, who flip-flops on the relationship.
	I've dated this girl, we'll reconnect every year or so, and she always ends it really confused.
	I think we talked about this.
	We did, yeah.
	It was last week.
	It's called a whore.
	I know you certainly disagree with his actions, but Ted Kaczynski, oh great, has written books from prison, technological slavery, and the anti-tech revolution.
	And they are excellent and receiving good reviews.
	One of the points he makes is that conservatives don't have any viable solutions to the threats that modern technology itself has for human freedom.
	On this point, I'd like your take on this quote from Technological Slavery.
	If you think that big government interferes in your life too much now, just wait till the government starts Regulating, don't highlight it, regulating the genetic constitution of your children.
	Such regulation will inevitably follow the introduction of genetic engineering of human beings because the consequences of unregulated genetic engineering would be disastrous.
	We're already seeing that.
	I mean, the government is pro-abortion, they're also pro-refugee status, pro-open borders, so we're getting these Indians who come in here, they don't want girls, so they commit gendercide and abort all their girls.
	We're already getting this.
	Um, so yeah, Ted Kaczynski's a fucking genius.
	I'm sorry.
	I've been in a lot of arguments where I want to quote him, but I just will say a famous man once said, because if you go, look dude, it's like the Unabomber said, violence solves problems.
	You can't do that.
	So don't directly quote him.
	Sometimes violence is necessary.
	If you have a problem with Ted Kaczynski, show me the quote where he was wrong and explain why it was wrong.
	I love my Nick Fuentes.
	Have you noticed he looks like Joseph Mengeles?
	I have not noticed that.
	I'm not big, I'm not up on my Nazis.
	Yeah, Dr. Mengele.
	You could show me a picture, I would know who the hell he is.
	Yeah.
	I picture a guy with like round glasses, maybe the face melting guy from Indiana Jones.
	Let's see if he looks like Fuentes.
	No.
	What are you, retarded?
	Not even close.
	Did you mean to say acts like?
	I'm just kidding.
	Did you mean his brain?
	Let me act something.
	His brain looks like Mengele.
	No, but there was a guy that had like almost bald with the little circle glasses.
	He was another big one, but I don't remember what he was or who he was.
	Wait, you were close there, right?
	Was that Heinrich Himmler?
	Yes, that was it.
	No, go up a bit.
	The glasses guy, right there.
	Who's that?
	Those are probably actors.
	Yeah.
	What the fuck?
	So that's a stupid comment.
	Heinrich Himmler.
	Let me see.
	Heinrich Himmler.
	That's the first Heinrich.
	Yeah, that's the guy with the glasses.
	Yeah, that's no Nick.
	No, no, no.
	That was just we were just thinking about the Indiana Jones man.
	So here we go.
	There's another hundred one.
	I was disappointed to hear Michael was gay.
	Here's $100 for conversion therapy.
	I hope he gets through with it for himself or at least for his daughter.
	Love you guys.
	I think he's back in the show on Monday.
	I have to do some stuff and run some errands, so I'll be in and out.
	So he'll be behind the board on Monday.
	Oh yes, Michael.
	I didn't know who the fuck they were talking about.
	Yeah, I was kind of... African-American Michael, right?
	Great guy!
	I mean, we love Michael.
	Okay, let's open up the phone lines.
	Start taking Cazals.
	Yeah, we're an hour 22 in and it's still been free.
	So that's a nice treat.
	So that's good.
	It's a nice treat for everyone.
	You know what I realized with the letters recently?
	I could put in a search word like Canadian or Nazi or Miley Cyrus and do like 50 letters from that subject.
	That's how many thousands of emails we have.
	It's like chat GPT.
	Oh, I should turn this on, I guess.
	Wait, no, it's this one, Gav.
	So this one isn't mine?
	No.
	Okay.
	That's when he's gay.
	What about, uh, John and Dickman?
	Can they?
	They were, I believe if Maddie just puts it in an area that's close to both of them, like a midpoint, like if you put it at the end of the bar closer to them and aim it towards them, these are so wide open you will be able to hear them.
	Ooh, let my dogs out.
	We got an email from our ad guy.
	Mm-hmm.
	And he would like us to know that we caught him.
	But he says I don't smoke weed.
	You're right.
	Here's a question for you, dick man.
	Did the cop who busted the serial killer know that the dead girl in the serial killer's truck, the prostitute, was the girlfriend of the lead singer of the band Reagan Youth?
	Are you talking about Joel Rifkin?
	Yes.
	I think they're mixing up two, uh... Oh!
	He's not talking about Neal's, uh, Kathleen.
	When Joel Rifkin said, there's a dead prostitute.
	No, I don't think he knew.
	No.
	Yeah.
	No.
	She's kind of famous in the alt scene, but who cares?
	Who gives a crap?
	I wrote down some, some mailbags that were particularly important.
	We, we would be, I would be remiss if we did not cover the incredible Project Veritas discovery.
	That's got 11 million views.
	Which, no one is getting the real story here.
	The real story here is affirmative action.
	You had to get your ESG up, your, what is it, environmental social governance up as a major corporation.
	So you hire this gay black consultant and put him at the top of research.
	And now if anyone gives you shit for being too white, you go, oh really?
	What about this gay fag?
	Who happens to be black?
	Or this black who happens to be a fag.
	And now the fact that he's totally fucking incompetent doesn't matter.
	So I don't know how many clips you have, Ryan.
	Just look up Veritas in the email or online.
	Then there's the new thing where he confronts him.
	There's him talking in the restaurant, which can be kind of hard to follow.
	And then there's him getting confronted at a restaurant later on.
	There we go.
	Start with that one.
	This one has 500,000 on Twitter.
	It's got 11 million.
	Is it 11 million?
	Well, that is not what we say to the public.
	No.
	Don't tell anyone this is going on.
	We're exploring, like, you know how the virus keeps mutating?
	Yeah.
	Well, one of the things we're exploring is, like, why don't we just mutate it ourselves so we can preemptively develop new vaccines, right?
	So we have to do that.
	If we're going to do that, though, there's a risk of, like, as you could imagine, no one wants to be having a pharma company mutating fucking viruses.
	Okay, so anyway, he says we're considering mutating the virus ourselves.
	And then he talks about using monkeys to do it and stuff, which sounds like gain of function.
	- Which I suspect is the wave of the virus target. - Okay, so anyway, he says, we're considering mutating the virus ourselves.
	And then he talks about using monkeys to do it and stuff, which sounds like gain of function.
	I'm using this virus as a potential bio weapon, which got us into this mess in the first place.
	We don't want China doing this.
	We don't want America doing this.
	I don't want anyone playing with deadly viruses.
	So this homo is on a date with a Project Veritas dude who's pretending to be gay, I guess.
	Yoo-hoo!
	And he confesses all this.
	So then James confronts him at a restaurant.
	And what they do is, I think they say they want another date.
	Oh yeah, look at this.
	Sounds like he ain't a function to me.
	Well, they call it a different name.
	Genetic engineering function.
	You're using directed evolution.
	Manipulating a virus as a potential bioweapon.
	Yeah, the term they use was directed evolution.
	Tomato, tomato.
	But they're doing it so that they can preemptively have a vaccine for it.
	Sounds good.
	Thanks.
	Yeah, why don't you just make bioweapons all day and then create vaccines for them.
	But promise me you're going to lock them up tight and they won't get out like they got out in Wuhan.
	So the funnest part of this is James confronts him at a restaurant and he goes, I was, it's a joke.
	I'm a liar.
	I'm lying.
	I was trying to impress my date.
	I was just trying to get cock, dummies.
	Lied suddenly.
	I'm just looking for eight inches.
	You see, I'm a cowboy.
	Jordan, is this real life?
	I'm literally a liar.
	I was trying to impress a person on a date.
	I'm a liar.
	This is absurd.
	Please don't touch me.
	Don't tell anybody.
	We gotta go back to the beginning.
	I like that, is this real life?
	Yeah.
	Is this the real life?
	Hey there.
	Is this seat taken?
	You work for Pfizer.
	My question to you is why does Pfizer want to hide from the public the fact that they're mutating the COVID viruses?
	Is this real life?
	I'm literally a liar.
	I was trying to impress a person on a date.
	I'm a liar.
	This is absurd.
	Please don't touch me.
	Well this is not, by the way, don't tell anybody.
	Why are you doing this?
	This is so like, he was just working at a company to literally tell the public.
	What is he holding, a microphone?
	Please read the box.
	It's the nearest box of my life.
	Here we go.
	Very unseasely.
	Can you please unlock your door?
	No, no, don't let them leave.
	Please unlock the door.
	Give me.
	Why is going hard here?
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Please unlock.
	Sorry.
	Please unlock the door.
	Please unlock the door.
	This is someone who's never been told no.
	What is he holding?
	The microphone?
	No, he's trying to-- He took their iPad or laptop and he's breaking it.
	Nice push.
	Please unlock the door.
	So he says, get the fuck out of here.
	And then he calls the cops and they go, okay, fine, we'll leave.
	- I'm trying to get, unlock the door, unlock the door. - The cameraman fights back.
	So he says, get the fuck out of here.
	And then he calls the cops and they go, okay, fine, we'll leave.
	And he goes, no, you're not going anywhere.
	Is this real life?
	And then the cops show up and they go, we would have arrested him, but he's gone.
	That's exactly right, Gavin.
	Oh my god, James O'Keefe.
	Yes.
	You did a great job.
	This must be probably the biggest scoop of your career.
	That's correct.
	I think the part of this story that a lot of people are looking over is the fact that the dinner, the food was cold.
	We looked into this.
	We sent a Project Veritas food guy out there, and like Matty might know, food should be hot!
	But was it?
	No, it was lukewarm.
	No, I don't think that's the takeaway at all.
	That's the takeaway?
	No, the takeaway is that the biggest corporation in the world who made possibly trillions from the vaccine is looking into more mutations so they can make more vaccines and make more money.
	And in danger is all.
	That's true.
	But what's worse?
	Gain of function or cold calamari?
	Gain of function.
	And the real takeaway here is when they gave us the takeaway, they didn't put it in a bag.
	Just a styrofoam box.
	Okay, I think you're, James, I think you're blowing your biggest scoop of your life with this bullshit tangent.
	Speaking of scoops, the dessert.
	Ice cream.
	That was pretty good.
	Our Project Veritas ice cream experts tested it out for themselves.
	Unfortunately, they had a cavity and it hurt their molar.
	Wow.
	Uh, is there any more juice with this?
	Speaking of juice... Please do.
	Please do call the police.
	I'm sorry, this is insane you guys.
	Is this real life?
	This is again...
	Like black gays with high IQs are the most coveted human beings in America.
	So they probably get, I mean, this guy's a fucking boob and he's working at Pfizer as a head of research.
	So he's never been told no, he's never had any problems with his life.
	He's always been the bell of the ball.
	He's special.
	And here he is, his horny hubris fucked up his life and he's getting his first no, his first punch in the face.
	Pfizer's had everything like on all their platforms all the commenting everything was just been shut off whoo-hoo Damage control.
	Oh, yeah emotional damage And also the Yelp account has been shut down for comments as well Then there was a picture of the the laptop of the thing is an RIP What?
	All right.
	I guess you don't even say you're talking about mutating the covid virus.
	What?
	Can I pay the bill at least?
	Not even close.
	What is your name?
	Because you fucked up.
	You really did.
	I'm about to sue you.
	This is absurd.
	You had someone mock me as if they're going on a date to record me?
	You don't even know my position at this.
	I'm going to guess bottom.
	I'm going to guess fired.
	Yeah.
	That's a person on a date by lying.
	This is the same thing the black girl did in the other video.
	Exactly.
	I'm gonna flip the script and tell you you're doing something wrong.
	He put a little bass in his voice and was like, no you fucked up!
	We all know, no you fucked up!
	He's a cowboy.
	He's getting fucked up right now.
	This is not how he wanted.
	I'm a bottom.
	I'm not even a scientist by background.
	I'm not even a scientist by background?
	What do you do a 23andMe to figure that out?
	See that's where I got the affirmative action from.
	I'm not even a scientist.
	I work at a consulting firm and we're just working there.
	Please do call the cops.
	Call somebody.
	Because if these allegations are true, heads need to roll.
	Are you showing us the frozen mudslide?
	Yeah.
	Did he order a white Russian?
	What is a frozen mudslide?
	Is that like a dessert with chocolate and fucking... Well, Gavin, I'll tell you.
	A mudslide's a drink.
	You gotta be a bottom to know that.
	What is it, like a chocolatey... I don't know anything about it, actually, now that he said that.
	What is it, uh, Matty?
	I don't know exactly what's in it, but a mudslide is a cocktail.
	What's in a mudslide cocktail?
	Vodka, Kahlua, and Irish cream.
	Bailey's Irish creme.
	That sounds fun!
	Except it wasn't fun.
	It's like a black Russian.
	Which is bad.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I feel like, James, you should more focus on Pfizer using monkeys to destroy the world and less on mudslides and the temperature of your meal.
	I'll take it.
	I'll take that note.
	Okay, great.
	Please do!
	Why would you call the cops if you have nothing to hide?
	So he's obviously having one of the most outrageous reactions I've ever seen in the history of Project Veritas.
	He's threatening to call the police.
	People tell me I have a where is Ferris Bueller now energy.
	Bueller?
	Do you get that?
	No.
	The dancing, the fun, but also getting down to brass tacks, messing with the establishment.
	Okay, he grabbed the microphone.
	He's telling the staff.
	It's like the biggest controversy since Watergate and he's telling some waitresses.
	I am not a crook!
	Can the staff now be held for kidnapping because they're locking the door and holding them against their will?
	Yeah, that's a bad move.
	Oh, truth to power.
	Unlawful imprisonment?
	Open the fucking door, lady.
	Don't get involved in this.
	It's way over your head.
	This is over, like, Biden's head.
	This is over all heads.
	They were taking a side, though.
	Like, one of the waitresses, like, escorted him to the back to make the phone call or whatever, and then he's, you know, like, called the police, and then they're, like, doing it.
	Yeah, well, the gay black guy's always right.
	That's how he got his job.
	The customer's always right, especially the gay black guy.
	The question is, why is he calling the police?
	Guys, can you just respect my father's lifestyle?
	He's there with them now.
	He's one of them.
	They've taken him in.
	Can you just respect my father's restaurant?
	- What?
	- Can I get a check for their belt?
	- No, do not give them your check.
	No, don't let them leave.
	Because I want the boss to know.
	- Don't let them leave. - The waitress just wants her, hey, who's gonna pay this goddamn check?
	He's so spoiled that he thinks, after the biggest fuck-up on earth, that he's going to come out on top and they're gonna be fucked.
	So they're all going to jail.
	No, dude.
	You're the bad guy.
	What is the intention of calling the police?
	Can I talk to you please about this video?
	I'll tell you right now.
	If they locked me in that restaurant, one of them fucking chairs would've went through the fucking door.
	Or window.
	You're not fucking holding me against my fucking will.
	Like a dick.
	He would.
	The guy.
	Yeah, he would.
	What did you say?
	Sure.
	Where is it?
	How did you bring race into this?
	We have you on tape talking about mutating the COVID virus.
	May I show you the video?
	These are insane people.
	I haven't seen all this.
	Do we have to leave?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	I gotta say, that's actually kind of a good angle.
	Where'd they meet up?
	On Tinder or something?
	Well, it's called Grindr, John.
	- Can I ask you about this video?
	- You can tell them about how I was lying to impress a date.
	- Here, just, just, was it true what you said?
	- What is this?
	No.
	I lived on a birthday with a guy, and like normal men, you lie to impress a date.
	- Mutating viruses?
	- Like normal men.
	- That's actually, I gotta say, that's actually kind of a good angle.
	- Would they meet up on Tinder or something? - I don't know.
	- Well, it's called Grindr, John.
	- Grindr, okay.
	- Yeah.
	- You should know.
	Well, it's how I met you.
	This is the worst catfishing ever, right?
	And in this guy's mind, I was catfished.
	And by the way, catfish was not on the menu that evening.
	At the pizzeria.
	That's true.
	A lot of food pods in this story.
	Okay, can we switch over to thank you for calling and then... I keep meaning to go behind the paywall an hour and a half ago.
	By the way, you mentioned... Are we going behind the paywall?
	Eventually?
	You really want to?
	No, I just, if we do, I want to make one announcement before we do.
	Oh, are you going to blow your head off?
	No, I just want to tell officer... Have you got a paper bag with a gun in it?
	No.
	No, I just want to tell somebody to stop freeloading and get a subscription.
	Okay, let's do it.
	Officer Brian Dow of Riley County, Kansas Police Department.
	Stop freeloading and get a subscription.
	Freeloader!
	Ten bucks a month.
	You just got called out, motherfucker.
	Yeah.
	He's a cowboy.
	And if you don't start paying for a subscription, which is a mere $10 a month, it's a beer and a half, depending on where you buy beer, we will send that crazy black chick over to your house to question all your garbage searches, to freak out about her fucking hair, and to say, on my soul, I will spit on you.
	She might be wearing pajama pants, you won't be able to cuff her.
	How much could a cop in Kansas be making?
	With Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, what are they making?
	30 grand a year?
	40 grand?
	Maybe double that.
	He's, yeah, he's in that county, I think.
	He's a county, it's a county police department.
	So there's two Kansas cities right next to each other, the world's stupidest idea.
	Across the river.
	So is it Missouri?
	He lives in Manhattan, Kansas.
	His name is, his social security number is, so it's whatever is around there.
	His wife's name is.
	He's got enough money.
	Yeah.
	10 bucks a month.
	Well, cops are cheap.
	I'm not gonna knock the state troopers, but cops, you know, they could squeeze a nickel and make a buffalo for it.
	They were born with short hands and deep pockets.
	By the way, you mentioned Nixon.
	This was a great piece by Tucker.
	You could look it up on your own, but it's titled Biden is Done.
	But he goes into the fact that, like, he was the most popular president ever.
	He got 13 million votes, more than the person that replaced him.
	And without, they just forced him out without any crimes or anything like that.
	There was some conspiracy.
	No.
	And the brilliant journalist who discovered Watergate was hired by the FBI.
	He was an ex-naval dude.
	Right.
	He was handed this story.
	And what was the big deal?
	I'm very Linardian about Watergate.
	It doesn't bother me.
	Gerald Ford was the only The person who became president was never elected to any office.
	What about LBJ?
	No, he was John Kennedy's vice president.
	Gerald Ford, like the legislative branch of the government, Senate and Congress, nominated him.
	It wasn't like a public election.
	So he was implanted by the DNC with no vote.
	Gerald Ford.
	That was a great movie, LBJ.
	You ever see that movie?
	We're gonna lose this Vietnam War.
	All these, well, what do you say?
	Chinks or whatever.
	In Vietnam.
	Gooks.
	Gooks.
	They're sitting in the rice field waiting for our soldiers and our soldiers are in the foxholes smoking cigarettes.
	He's famous for saying, you get me in the presidency, you get me the presidency and I'll give you your war.
	Yeah and Nixon was trying to point out that the CIA had a lot to do with, were involved and had to do with John's death.
	He kept saying that and they think that was a big part of the Warren Commission.
	Wait, you called JFK John?
	Yeah.
	Could that be more confusing?
	That's what he did.
	They call him Jack or John.
	Okay, just say JFK from now on.
	Jack Kennedy.
	By the way, I'm a little annoyed at all of you for not laughing when I said I'm very Leonardian when it comes to Watergate.
	I don't even know what the word means.
	Leonardian?
	Could you spell that please?
	Leonard Skinner.
	Leonard Skinner.
	Watergate doesn't bother me, does your conscience bother you?
	That's a deep cut.
	Maybe I should say Skinnerdian.
	Or I'm very Leonard Skinnerdian when it comes to Watergate.
	Well, it's a reference to Neil Young.
	Wait, what's the name of the song?
	Sweet Home Alabama?
	I'm very Sweet Home Alabamian when it comes to Watergate.
	Yeah, you're right, that's better.
	It's a little more zoned in.
	So, we're going to go behind the paywall?
	No, no, we're gonna do the mailbag and we haven't taken a call.
	The whole point of this free show is to show people what the show is like, which is retarded because this show is not like any other show.
	Every show I have a suit on and I go through the news in a very Tucker Carlson, Howard Stern kind of way, but in this show we just fucking goof with the guys.
	It's true.
	So, I don't know, this business model.
	Free ballin'.
	Maybe once a month we give away a Friday show or something?
	I don't know.
	I thought about it.
	I don't know.
	This shouldn't be the free show.
	- You are on the air.
	- Oh man, conversation.
	- This is a fucking loser.
	- Hey Ryan, can you hear me?
	- Yeah.
	- On the call.
	- Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You got one thing.
	- What about those guys?
	- Thank you for calling.
	- Yeah, they're gonna be good.
	- It's great to hear from you.
	- Good screen there.
	- All right, next call.
	Why was that a split screen?
	Um, I have this thing.
	It's an overlay.
	So, um, like it's meant for the chats.
	Oh, okay.
	So you fucked up, I guess is the short answer.
	Yes.
	Um, let's take a couple calls.
	We'll make the last half hour.
	By the way, to your cop buddy in Kansas, this is an hour and a half a week.
	The show is an hour and a half a day.
	Every day.
	So he's really denying himself a lot of gold.
	And then we have our new segment.
	He's going to subscribe.
	We have our new segment, Cop Talk.
	That's right.
	Bernard is on the lawn.
	Hello, Bernard.
	What's going on, Andy?
	Can you believe the transphobia here, folks?
	Can you believe the transphobia here, folks?
	What's that from?
	It's Jim Carrey.
	This drop right here.
	Can you believe the transphobia here, folks?
	Hey, question for Gabby.
	- Did you go and talk her dressed as that?
	- Yeah.
	- Or was it, yeah.
	- That's my buddy, David Menzies.
	- Menzies rules.
	- Hey, a question for Gabby.
	- Okay.
	- How, how come your, your impression of a scary Perry is identical to your impression of Maddie? - Because scary Perry is identical to Maddie O'Dell as far as voice box goes.
	- Oh, yo, guys.
	Matty, what do you think?
	Hey, I got a squeaky high-pitched voice and I'm animated.
	I mean, Perry's an octave higher, I guess, and Matty has a New York accent, but I think they're pretty similar.
	I live in a shitty little apartment.
	You live in a shitty little apartment.
	We actually have a clothes peg around one of his ball sacks to get him to go a little higher.
	What pitch do you need?
	I adjusted accordingly.
	Brian, you're the imitation guy.
	There we go.
	Tell me the difference between Perry and Matty.
	There we go.
	By the way, thanks for calling.
	Let me see.
	Matty, say a couple things.
	Yo, cuz!
	Yo, cuz!
	No, it's just tough.
	It's just tough.
	Like, I don't have the foundation to start.
	Like, the starting point is kind of important.
	Do you have, like, a voice that... Like, we have two different starting points.
	I don't know what it is.
	Yeah, just, Matt Perry is like, what the fuck?
	It's not, it's Perry Caravello!
	Yeah, which one are you doing?
	I think Gavin's is more like Super Grover-ish.
	Gavin's more of a Super Grover-ish.
	You know what I was thinking?
	We need a better ending for your show.
	What about this?
	So be cool, stay warm, and if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
	Hey, that's kind of nice.
	There we go.
	That's the new one.
	I'm a fan of the show because it has to do with food, you see.
	And I really like Matty's send-off.
	It's keep watching, keep commenting, keep subscribing.
	I've actually fed some of the PV people.
	I know, that's why we gave you these hats.
	We're making chef hats, by the way.
	Nice.
	Thank you, James.
	You're welcome.
	Two fingers, peace.
	And I'm out.
	I wanted to, uh... There's a couple of emails I really wanted to get to.
	But, uh... Oh, shit.
	Emails.
	This dude sent us a Mitch Hedberg joke that fucking chat GPT wrote.
	No.
	Is it good?
	I bet it is.
	Yes, it is good.
	Sprinkles?
	A computer listened to a hundred hours of Mitch.
	There's not that much Mitch Hedberg out there.
	There's not a hundred hours.
	I've listened to everything he's got.
	It's like Lenny Bruce and Bill Hicks.
	You're done in a day.
	There's probably twelve hours of Lenny Bruce, Mitch Hedberg and Bill Hicks out there.
	They died.
	So, they told ChatGPT to write a Mitch Hedberg joke and he wrote, I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
	Wait, that is a joke.
	Oh, it is?
	Yeah, that is his joke, yeah.
	Oh, fuck.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Wait, so now, wait a minute, this changes everything.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	ChatGPT just steals jokes?
	Good point.
	I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
	Yeah, that's Mitch Hedberg.
	Are you positive?
	Yes.
	Well, I don't believe you.
	Detective Shitty's on the job.
	You're wrong on a regular basis.
	Not when it comes to Hedberg, bro.
	Yo, bro.
	It might be, it might, I'll give you this.
	It might be against protesting, but I don't know how to show it.
	No, you're right.
	I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
	Wait a minute.
	So now ChatGBD just goes, write a sonnet by Shakespeare and they just Google Shakespeare and cut and paste a paragraph?
	Wait, here we go.
	I found it.
	I found it.
	You're right.
	I'm going to play that bumper again.
	Wait, I'm not wrong though.
	I don't know.
	Just cause you're right.
	Yeah.
	Wow, right twice in one show?
	Oh shit.
	That's right.
	I'm right.
	Show it.
	Come on.
	What the fuck is this?
	They autoplay, but then they have the volume up.
	I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
	I want to start doing like a lost head bird thing.
	That'd be cool.
	Like a fake standup is his like honorably, you know, like not respectfully shut up.
	I got a lot of letters about Nicole Arbor when I said that she's right and she's awesome and Candace Owens is wrong.
	Yeah, she blows.
	And a lot of people are like, no dude, you're wrong.
	She's no bueno.
	Nicole's nuts.
	And that guy's a baby monster that, what the fuck's his name?
	Ryan Upchurch, which is the second gentleman shown in the video, met her at a bar.
	I don't want to take up too much of your time.
	I followed the Nicole Arbor story a bit.
	Ryan Upchurch, which is the second gentleman shown in the video, met her at a bar.
	She acted like someone roofied her drink.
	He drove her to the ER where she puked all over his car and they found no traces of any substances in her system.
	I've seen this with girls by the way when they get nervous they fucking over drink like crazy and then they think they've been roofied or something because they have never done like five shots in a row and then they puke.
	She also held his wallet hostage in her Airbnb and took him to court many times where he was exonerated.
	Ooh.
	Careful with them one-night stands, fellas.
	We opened up a show.
	By the way, I got a ton of letters like this.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I've been getting a bunch of those.
	From women, too.
	What does he say here?
	She's giving women a bad name.
	Ryan Upchurch does a lot of comedy, blah, blah, blah.
	He makes tons of music.
	He's rich.
	He doesn't need her.
	I believe if you listen to his side, you'd get along with him and like him a lot.
	What does he say?
	He bought a four screen Lamborghini, blah, blah, blah.
	He's rich.
	I don't know why that you can't.
	I guess you're not.
	You tend not to be a stalker when you're rich.
	I can't speak for the other guys.
	And you mentioned she had all this paperwork showing all this.
	But after she after he won his court case against her the first time, he also had paperwork showing how crazy she is.
	So she sued him in civil court or criminal.
	I think she sued him in civil court.
	Yeah, because he couldn't be tried criminally again.
	If he was exonerated.
	Total jeopardy.
	Anyway, have an open mind about that, folks.
	There's a lot of fucking crazy shit going on.
	So what was he, just like a one night stand that he had?
	Or didn't have?
	Well, their side of the story is she's just a nut who, uh, who court, like she courted Ryan Upchurch, I guess.
	I don't fucking know.
	They both sound... I'm so stupid.
	Remember, I was in the special class in eighth grade.
	So I hear her side and I'm like, that's fucked up.
	You're being stalked by psychos.
	And then I hear the psycho side and I'm like, that's fucked up.
	That bitch is insane.
	I don't know.
	Even the Steven Crowder thing.
	I'm like, he's a retard.
	He said no to 50 million.
	And then Lauren Chen goes, he could make $80,000 an episode in ads alone.
	They offered him 65.
	That's fucked up.
	They should fuck off.
	Real wishy-washy over there.
	Well, I mean, it's like the Holocaust.
	You really got to care and do your research.
	You can't just half-heartedly assign a belief to something so nuanced.
	Just kidding, Jews.
	Calm down.
	Yes, it's definitely bad and it sucks.
	Calm down.
	We're having some fun.
	I also wanted to read this Gavin-pretending-to-be-black email.
	Oh, no, it's funny.
	Oh, I think this experiment described here about this self-perceived.
	Oh, yeah.
	So a long time ago, I said, here's a fun experiment you can do on your own.
	Pretend you're black.
	You're not black.
	Well, most of you aren't.
	And walk around with a racist, like, everyone's racist mentality, and you'll notice all this shit.
	Like, for example, I went to this bar where I live, and I was in that black mode all day just for fun, and I sat down, this South African guy saw me, and he scooched over a seat.
	Now, I know as a white guy, and I saw the scene, that he was hitting on this girl there.
	But I could have easily, in my black head, gone, yo, I sat down in this fucking chair, this South African dude, he sees me and he moves over a chair.
	And I had like 40 of those for that day.
	And they obviously weren't true, because I'm not black.
	And this guy explains a similar experiment.
	Actually, it's the exact same experiment.
	...an experiment with a group of women, and they put scars on their faces, and they told these women that they're going into a job interview.
	They showed them the scars in the mirror, the women saw themselves with these scars, and as they led them out of the room, they said, we're just gonna touch it up a little bit.
	And as they touched it up, they removed the scarring completely.
	So the women went into the job interview thinking that they are scarred, but actually being their normal selves.
	And the result of the experiment is that those women then came back reporting massively increased level of discrimination.
	Indeed, many of them came back with comments that the interviewer had made that they felt were referencing their facial disfigurement.
	And this is why I think this ideology of victimhood is so dangerous.
	That's 90% of racism.
	Oh, yeah.
	Is black people just going, oh, I see what's going on here.
	I have to get in line because I'm black!
	Uh, no, everyone's getting in line.
	Sorry, calm down.
	But I'm skipping the line because I'm black.
	Okay, last one.
	Phil Anselmo kicked off German festival because of terrorism.
	So this fucking douche got Pantera kicked off a German festival because they claim that Phil Anselmo is racist.
	They're not in the festival.
	They're just a random band called Iron Roses or some shit.
	Look up Anselmo kicked off German festival.
	And it says stoked.
	It is so important to, to not just call out folks when they are going down a bad path, but to acknowledge when they make a decision to turn back and do the right thing.
	Oh yeah.
	It's the few people sent me this.
	Look at this douche.
	Pantera has been taken off the bill, you guys!
	We did it!
	Yoo-hoo!
	Thanks to everyone who raised their voices and thank you once more to Rock I'm Ring.
	What?
	Rock I'm Ring.
	What?
	Oh, Rock A.M.
	Ring.
	I've seen that before, yeah.
	Oh, he spelled it wrong in his thing.
	But who's, the whole band is racist?
	No, I think they do both.
	Rock A.M.
	Ring and then Rock I.M.
	Park.
	It's Phil Anselmo racist?
	Is that what this guy's saying?
	Yes.
	Really?
	Well, their guitarist was involved in a shooting.
	Years back.
	Dimebag.
	Yes, he was involved in a shooting.
	He was involved in a shooting, that's true.
	He was the victim of a shooting.
	That's correct.
	They won't mention that.
	P.S.
	I will still be donating a portion of what I make to C-Punks and to Slow Pristine because I made a promise to do so and what they're doing is so important.
	So happy!
	I love you guys!
	Have they added rappers in this shit yet?
	Everything's tainted.
	What is Youngblood?
	Youngblood is the English guy.
	Okay, that's good.
	Nothing but thieves?
	That sounds a little rappy.
	You gotta see this guy's band though.
	They're called Iron Roses.
	Do they pronounce the R?
	Iron?
	Yeah.
	It's a Jewish band then.
	Iron Roses.
	What?
	Are you making fun of my accent?
	Are they?
	Oh, they're called Iron Roses.
	They probably are Jews.
	Let's see, Nathan Gray and the Iron Roses.
	Oh, I hope I don't get kicked off this tour by Phil Anselmo.
	Is that the guy I was just looking at?
	Yeah.
	He's like my age.
	Ew.
	What's the tattoo on his neck?
	What was that guy?
	Is that a chick with a dick or no?
	We don't know.
	Who is that?
	Wait a minute, were these guys on the bill?
	That's my dad's business manager.
	Are these guys on the bill for that festival?
	No!
	Fuck these assholes.
	But they got Pantera kicked off.
	But they were complaining about it and they got him kicked off.
	That's bullshit.
	Let's rock out to them.
	Look at that guy.
	That looks like Drew Carey with AIDS.
	Look at that guy.
	What is the tattoo on his neck?
	It's an anchor.
	It looks kind of like the Marines logo.
	I was going to say, is that an EGA?
	An anchor?
	On your neck?
	Oh wait.
	There should be an anchor around his neck.
	Maybe he likes a lot of semen.
	He's a cowboy.
	Ew. - Ooh!
	Only M. Shadows is allowed to do that.
	I'm feeling on fire.
	He's a fag.
	He's a fag.
	Look at that hand thing.
	Eww.
	And the ties with the Hawaiian shirts?
	If you're M. Shadows you can get away with that.
	That's like the kooky guys at prom.
	But you're 56.
	Look how he swings the arm into it.
	It's like a ducky.
	Look at the setup.
	Here it comes.
	That's so drag queen story.
	That's his O face.
	He's getting plugged up the ass.
	Up the ass.
	Swing up the ass.
	It's a joke.
	He's getting plugged.
	Okay, sorry.
	Those are the letters I want to get to.
	We have a caller on the line.
	He's been on there for a while.
	Okay, let's go.
	206, you're on the links.
	Hello?
	206, go ahead.
	Hey, Gavin Uhuru.
	Uhuru.
	Hey, so I got a question for you.
	I want to know what your thoughts are on urethral sounding, which is when a guy decides to shove a straw or a rod or some shit down his dick hole.
	Urethra.
	And I just want to know, like, where does a guy go wrong in his life that that's how he derives his fucking pleasure, that that's what gets him off?
	Probably got molested as a kid.
	I dated a girl once who was molested as a kid and the shit we had to do, like I had to fucking humiliate her in public, hit her in the face with a loaf of bread at the grocery store and stuff.
	She did not want a spoon.
	She did not want kissing.
	Or you could have had a male Filipino nanny.
	Yeah, probably molested, dude.
	But it's not like it's common.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	That's terrible.
	Anybody ever take a VD test?
	I took one of them in the Navy.
	They fucking shove a thing up your fucking... The wooden Q-tip all the way down.
	It's the worst.
	Yeah.
	It's the worst.
	I had to take two shots.
	They were frozen.
	I had to put them underneath my arm.
	I was sitting out there, right outside the...
	Corman's office on the USS John F. Kennedy in the middle of the ocean saying to myself, what the fuck did I get myself into?
	Wait, two shots in your- you had to put ice cubes under your armpits to get your dick checked?
	No, what it is, is they give you penicillin shots afterwards.
	Oh.
	- Oh. - And they come frozen, so the cormon puts it underneath your arm to defrost them. - An older dude, when I was a teenager, he said, "Dude, you don't have to do the fucking test." He goes, you go to the doctor and you say, I'm a virgin and a girl I fucked got chlamydia.
	So I know it's me.
	We were both virgins.
	No, wait a minute.
	She's a virgin.
	She's a virgin.
	I'm not a virgin.
	I got chlamydia.
	She knows it was me because she's never fucked anyone else.
	So they go, oh, OK, well then.
	And they just give you the antibiotics for chlamydia.
	And I go, but aren't there side effects?
	He goes, no, they're fine.
	You're too immune to chlamydia?
	Big fucking deal.
	Well, when you're in the Navy, we were on an I-O cruise going to Australia, and we stopped at a few other ports before that in the Mediterranean.
	And I remember, the guy in the Marine Corps detachment, this guy Mac DeMara, he got, you know, same thing with me, he was next to me, and he told me about a week later, it was like a fuckin' hair growing out of the tip of his cock.
	Whoa!
	And they take you off the ship, and they ship you to Diego Garcia.
	That's an island right out there and they obviously he stuck his thing in the wrong hole.
	Yeah well that's not a hair it's probably some sort of like parasite worm or something.
	I don't know what it was.
	You're not gonna start sprouting follicles out of the inside of your urethra.
	It's gotta be a potato or something that's growing there.
	I didn't ask him was he an anteater or a regular one you know like with that foreskin but I don't know.
	Officer John what kind of test did you say that was?
	For gonorrhea.
	But, oh, I thought you said a... The clap.
	A blank blank test.
	It was two letters.
	VD.
	VD?
	VD.
	Oh, you said VD.
	That's venereal disease.
	Oh, I thought you said ZD test, which I've taken many times.
	Oy vey.
	Oh my god.
	Did you fuck a lot of Southeast Asian whores when you were in the Navy?
	No, I didn't.
	No, not you, James.
	Okay.
	I never, I was on the East Coast.
	I was in the Sixth Fleet, so we didn't go over to, what do you call it, the Philippines or any of that area.
	But you were in Australia?
	Well, what happened was we took an IO cruise.
	We went through the Suez Canal, went to Australia, went to Perth, Australia.
	Beautiful people, beautiful women, and had a great time.
	That sounds like you fucked some broads.
	A handful.
	Six?
	Yes.
	It means I can get my fucking hands on.
	Listen, when you're 17, you're young, dumb, full of cum, and you're just having a good time.
	Yeah?
	And you said you were in the Navy?
	Yes.
	Oh, okay, so I don't have to show this.
	What's that?
	Gravy.
	I like these jokes.
	We have another caller, if you'd like.
	You should just stand up.
	We got 714.
	You're on the lower.
	Go ahead, 714.
	Hello?
	What's happening?
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey man.
	Hey.
	Hey, can you hear me?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	All right, man.
	I want to tell you that, um, I, I used to be a tranny.
	Whoa.
	I used to be a transgender until about a year ago.
	Back in like, uh, like 2012, I changed my, my sex.
	I took hormones.
	I was a drug addict.
	I was like abused by a pervert when I was young.
	And I was in college and I went through the transition.
	I never cut my cock off, thankfully.
	So you're a dude, you're a gay dude who was molested and you what, you took estrogen and did you grow tits?
	Yeah.
	No, I never grew tits because I was a crystal meth addict.
	So that's why I believe, one of the reasons I believe in God is because if you want to see pictures of what I used to look like, have Ryan Google, uh, Google like, Uh, New York Post detransitioned Brian.
	B-R-I-A-N.
	But anyway, um, I mean, I basically wore woman-face for several years, and I realized it was insane pretty early on when I was in college.
	But I heard you on Joe Rogan, I heard you, Milo Yiannopoulos, and Jordan Peterson in, like, 2017, I think it was.
	And, uh, you guys, uh, turned me into a conservative.
	You red-pilled me, so to speak.
	I just wish, I wish that I heard your message in 2011, 2012.
	I think it would have saved me from doing this.
	But I did do it, but I've come to my senses.
	I, you know, I live my life as a man.
	I never, I have a cock and balls still.
	Nice.
	I have testosterone again.
	That's what's up.
	Are you a gay?
	Yes, yes, but now that, you know, now with a little bit of testosterone, I sort of feel like... Well, when you were gay, were you a pitcher or a catcher?
	I could quite possibly, fuck, maybe, I don't know, possibly, I don't know.
	Were you a top or a bottom as a gay?
	I was always a bottom to be honest.
	I think that's great that you didn't do the surgery and everything but and I hope this doesn't discourage you but the surgery has become so much better now it's so much more efficient and what they do is they just cut up the the shaft that gets turned inside out And then they take your pee hole and that's moved downwards.
	The labia actually comes from the scrotal sac now and it's the testicles are you don't have to get rid of them you can hide them in the bottom of your butt cheeks.
	So I don't think so, man.
	I don't think that's how they do it.
	Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
	I would still consider possibly trying it.
	I mean, the surgery's getting so good now.
	You think I should cut my cock off, Gavin?
	I mean, no sir.
	It's worth a try.
	Gavin, Gavin, had I cut my cock off, I would have blown my brains out a la Bud Dwyer.
	Don't do that, brother.
	Don't do that.
	I know.
	That's what I'm going for here.
	You're not losing a cock.
	You're gaining a pussy.
	Hey, had I cut my cock off, Gavin, I wouldn't be speaking to you right now.
	I'd be dead.
	Yeah, that's why I'm suggesting it.
	My cock and balls are my most prized possession are my penis and testicles.
	I'm not even exaggerating.
	Oh, it's amazing that something so small can be so valuable to someone.
	Well, some of these... Look, it's possible, honestly.
	Had I not...
	I'm sorry I'm just trying to be funny but yeah that's great that you didn't do that that life-changing surgery it's fucking disgusting who knows how many that's the irony of all these people that say they're empowering trans you're encouraging suicide you're sending people Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Dude, when I transitioned, I was addicted to crystal meth and Xanax.
	I literally thought the FBI was following me around.
	I would use crystal meth and lock myself in my bedroom and I'd watch gay porn all day long.
	And I would just get into weirder and weirder pornography.
	And I went to a therapist, really, just to tell someone about this weird sex fetish I had because I liked how women got fucked by men.
	I envied it.
	And I don't know, I guess I got off to a certain extent to that fantasy, and I went to this gender therapist, and she goes, you're really a girl trapped in a boy's body, and you and I have the same brains, and yeah, dude, they made lots and lots of money off of me.
	Yeah, I mean, it's a horror show and I regret it very much, but you know.
	We should get you on the show.
	Let's have a sit-down.
	Alright.
	You're on the show.
	I would love that, dude.
	I would love that.
	I'm very open to that.
	Yeah, let's have a long sit-down.
	Hey, did you look up the New York Post article?
	Yeah, we've been showing it on the show.
	It's sort of like black people.
	Ryan follows me on Twitter.
	I don't know, would you tap that or what?
	What's your account?
	Would you hit that?
	You definitely hit that.
	I probably would have tapped it.
	Yeah, well, he's a bottom.
	Yeah, but I talked like this and my interest was like dirt bikes and firearms and surfing.
	Nice.
	I'm still a dude.
	Yeah, that's funny, too.
	Like when the trannies get Miss Miss Jenner, they're like, hey, I'll shit like member of Zoe Tour to Ben Shapiro.
	She's like, I will send you home in a fucking ambulance.
	Yeah, it's ma'am.
	Yeah, it's ma'am, motherfucker.
	I was never that radical though like but I live in Los Angeles though so like they make it like ridiculously easy like there's there's no safeguarding to it like if you go to one of these clinics like when I did it you used to have to have a therapist letter but now you don't you can just like walk into one of these places and they'll be like oh yeah you're a woman like let's here here's some estrogen here's a yeah let's let's get your cock cut off you know
	Well, I was just going to say, it reminds me of blacks where they don't care about the black family, so they encourage welfare.
	They don't care about black on black crime, so they pretend that no one should have a gun.
	They don't care about charter schools, even though it's great, especially in Harlem and in poor black areas, because they don't really care about these people.
	And with the trans thing, they know the suicide rate is as bad as it was for Jews in Germany in 1943, but they push it anyway because it makes them feel good.
	And the fact that you guys get thrown into the wood chipper for them to virtue signal is totally irrelevant to them.
	Yeah, pretty much.
	Well, I think it's going to come to a head, though, to be honest.
	It's going to take another five years or so, but all these little kids that have done it, a lot of them are going to regret it.
	They're going to be out for blood, and the lawsuits will put an end to a lot of this.
	I have lawsuits out, so you know what I mean?
	Good.
	Cutting the tits off is fucking awesome.
	I wish I had heard you, Jordan Peterson, and Milo in 2011.
	Had I heard you in 2011, I never would have gone down the transition.
	Sounds like you listened to enough Milo.
	Maybe not Milo.
	Sounds like you made a difference here, Gavin.
	Alright, let's keep in touch.
	I want to fly you up to New York and have a sit down.
	He wants to go on a date with you.
	By the way...
	I have to announce something.
	Holy shit, James O'Keefe's a fag.
	I'm, excuse me, it's Jane O'Keefe.
	Jane O'Keefe's a fag.
	Hi, Jane.
	My fascination with food comes from my desire to cook it for a man.
	I'm Jane O'Keefe, and I'm a trans.
	You know the retracto?
	The alpaca?
	Yeah.
	Well now we have prolapso.
	Thanks for tuning in folks.
	We made the whole show free again.
	Fucked up.
	Didn't mean to do that.
	It's a curse.
	I'd like to thank the cops.
	John and Dickman.
	I'd like to thank the criminal, Matty O. And I'd like to thank the retard, Ryan Katsu Rivera.
	Until tomorrow, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	I want it, I want it, I love the land.
	I want it, I want it, I love the land.
	Oh, I'm right.
	Oh, I'm a cowboy. I'm a cowboy.
	Oh, I'm a steel horse, I ride.
	I want it, I want it, I love the land.
	But I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back.
	I blame the keys, cause I might not make it back.
	I've been everywhere, I'm standing tall.
	I've seen a million faces, and I've rocked them all.
	Cause I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse.
	I ride on one and one and one. - Yeah, real.
	Can you hear me?
	Yee-hoo-roo?
	Yee-hoo-roo.
	Um, so I have a predicament.
	Hello to everybody.
	Um, so, um, I work with a fit chest.
	He's also, um, a religion that begins with J and we're my and rhymes with you.
	And yeah.
	And so I'm, I work with her and one other woman.
	And if we work in like the HVAC and plumbing kind of a thing, and I'm like the youngest in the office by a decade.
	And the kicker is this, this woman got me this job.
	We used to work at an Irish pub together, and she got me this job.
	I was recently promoted to a manager position before she was ever promoted, and all she does is bitches and bitches and bitches.
	It's called conventioning.
	Right, and I'm like, everything is a problem for her.
	The issue is, like, I think about it in, you know, a big picture where it's like, you know, she, I'm like, okay, well, where, where would she fit in?
	Would she fit as a stay-at-home mom?
	No, she wouldn't.
	Would she fit as one of the 5% of women who could be in the workforce?
	No, she doesn't.
	And my whole thing is like, I want to, you know, be, you know, nice and honest with her, but it's just like, she just doesn't, she's not cut out for the workforce.
	She doesn't, you know, she just, all she does is complain, and that's the main reason why women don't belong in the workforce, is because she just constantly fucking complains about every single little thing.
	I don't know how to go about it.
	It drives me fucking insane.
	Every single day.
	I bet she, if you find out where she hides her birth control, you should replace it with like M&Ms or something.
	No, because I think that if she was a mom, she would have real issues to not like, you know, your scope of what's important.
	I could, I saw it firsthand with my wife, just like zoned in to like real issues, you know?
	And like, there's just less time to think about, oh, it's too cold in here or whatever.
	I don't know.
	Right.
	Well, the issue is, she's 31, she's the closest to me in age, I'm 21, and the issue is that she's got this PCOS condition where the odds of her having kids, it's like some kind of reproductive issue, and the odds of her having kids are like 1-2%.
	Like, she's not able to really have kids.
	That's why she's a shit chest?
	Yeah.
	And so like that, so her whole outlook on life is completely changed.
	And it's just so like, she's a victim in every single situation.
	Like there's certain things I talked to other managers about, and she's just like, why are you not telling me?
	Why am I not included?
	I'm like, because it doesn't involve you.
	And I, I like, I'm trying to be nice.
	I've dealt with this for weeks and I'm like, I'm trying to, like, try to frame her, like steal some important documents from your boss and put them in her port or like her desk and be like, Oh my, I found these.
	I mean, there's so much, like, not to go into detail, but there's so much shit that's happened with this company because it's blue-collar and people, you know, other guys try to come in, you know, other administrations try to come in and they try to just money grab off of it and they're leeches and they're just, they're slimy guys and they just, I mean, they're...
	They're slimy guys.
	Let me tell you.
	It's been longer than 15 minutes.
	It's been a little bit longer than 15 minutes.
	It's a little longer than 15 minutes.
	I'm going to play that drop.
	I'm just...
	Right. - These are a little longer than 15 minutes, right?
	I don't know.
	I don't know what, I mean, like genuinely, I don't know what to do with her because it's like, she got me the job and I'm making good money.
	Like I'm young, I'm making good money.
	I'm making a career for myself.
	What if you tell her something, what if you tell her something off putting, like just make something up that would make her not want to talk to you.
	Nothing that she could have you lose your job.
	Just be like, Oh man, you know, like when you get diarrhea for like a week, No, but she would like that kind of shit.
	What if you pretend you have contagious something?
	Well, no, because she's got the fluoride stare.
	She's all boosted up.
	She literally has myocarditis.
	She's gone to the hospital four times.
	Oh my.
	Yeah, no, she's completely bought into this bullshit.
	She checks all the boxes for somebody you do not want to work with.
	But she got me the job.
	So I'm just like, I don't, and I got promoted before she did.
	I've, I've been there since June of last year.
	And it's just like, I don't, I like, I'm, I'm trying to be polite.
	I'm trying to not be a shitty human being, but at the same time, it's like, don't come to me with all your problems.
	Don't come to me being a victim in every single situation.
	Cause you're not.
	Maybe, maybe, maybe tell her that maybe, uh, you know, I like a lot of, uh, There's this sort of like front facing attitude that women have towards each other that kind of avoids getting to the root of the problems.
	But maybe just be honest and just be like, take her out for drinks and be like, listen, I'm just, and disguise it as like you want to help her.
	Be like, listen, I don't think it's good for your psyche to complain that I read an article and it's not good for you to complain.
	I heard that it could undo vaccines actually.
	I read in the New York Times that, like, complaining is actually not good for you.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Or just, like, if she's into horoscopes, pretend you read her horoscope every day.
	Be like, I get them from, I remember as yours, it's that today, you know, complaining is gonna be not good.
	And she'll be like, oh shit.
	Right.
	And just keep saying that.
	And then she'll be like, this is weird.
	Yeah, she shouldn't even buy into that shit.
	Like, she's just so weird about shit.
	But I won't take up much of your time.
	But I hope your wife and Daphne are doing well.
	Thank you.
	I appreciate it.
	Well, thank you and good luck.
	Thanks for calling.
	No problem.
	Thank you, Ryan.
	All right, we got one more.
	No, we got two more calls.
	You guys have been waiting for, you've been waiting for like 35 minutes.
	818.
	Hey, what's up?
	What's going on, man?
	Is Matty still there?
	He is.
	Is Matty still there?
	He is.
	I want to ask Matty a question.
	Matty, he's coming.
	Out of context, that was funny.
	Bend over and douche the guy's ass.
	Hey, what's up?
	So, hey, I, you know, you come across as like this biker guy, you know, I would think you listen to like rock music and stuff, but you have so much knowledge about old school hip-hop.
	Oh, I love the 90s hip-hop.
	Like, in the late 80s, early 90s, yeah, that's my jam.
	Yeah, I was like, one day you were talking about Brand Newbie and you knew all their names.
	Oh yeah.
	I grew up like two blocks from them.
	Really?
	Yeah, I grew up around the show.
	That's where they're from.
	Oh, that's crazy.
	Yeah, the one that got me is you did a... You made a third base reference.
	You said, but my balls itch.
	And I was like... Search a piece nice?
	I said search a piece nice.
	Oh yeah, that's crazy.
	MC Search?
	MC Search and Pete Nice.
	That's third base.
	Yeah, he's the biggest wigger of all time.
	MC Search is so corny.
	Remember that talk show he had?
	Yo, he's a smart businessman.
	I know he is, yeah.
	He's a ridiculously smart businessman.
	He's got the nose of a very smart businessman.
	Yeah, that's great, bro.
	Yeah, like mid-80s.
	To like, early 90s?
	Hip-hop?
	That's my jam.
	That is my jam.
	I actually... I work with those guys now.
	With all the old school guys.
	Nice.
	I do music with them for TV and film.
	Oh, that's beautiful.
	Yeah, I just thought it was funny that you were like, you had such an in-depth underground hip-hop thing.
	Oh yeah.
	That's my jam.
	Alright, you got it.
	Take care.
	Alright, see ya.
	This is the last one.
	Kansas City traffic, 9-1-3.
	You're on the Wii!
	Is this me?
	It is.
	Oh, cool.
	Hey, hey.
	Huge fan, guys.
	I was just wondering if you guys were ever going to go to Kansas City?
	If we're ever going to?
	Oh, for like the tour?
	The tour?
	Yeah.
	A lot of restaurants down here.
	It's like Chicago.
	Geez.
	I'm a truck driver.
	I listen to you guys all the time.
	Huge fan.
	Love your impressions, by the way, Ryan.
	It's an honor to talk to you.
	We're very much fans of the truckers, okay?
	Frankly, fantastic guys keeping the world turning.
	And frankly, nobody even knows how hard you work.
	You work very hard and your butts are usually... What you have to do when you're driving for very long times is you have to kind of arch your back, get your butt off the seat and squeeze the cheeks to get some blood in there.
	Otherwise you're going to get lesions and bed sores.
	Trench butt.
	They call it trench butt.
	But no, that's awesome.
	Yeah, so if I can, I will put that in Josh Denny's ear because we are looking for, and it's red, Kansas City, right?
	Kansas City, Kansas?
	Either one, man.
	I'm going to show it today.
	You guys were talking about it briefly, but yeah, it's confusing to me too because I'm on the Kansas side.
	Kansas is kind of the same.
	Oh weird.
	We're all kind of the same, you know, around here.
	Well, I'll bring that up to Josh because we are looking for like a secondary tour market, like not the, you know, not the same ones that we did last time.
	So maybe I'll put that in his ear and hopefully we can come out there and see or be close enough that you can drive.
	You're used to long drives.
	You'll get, even if we're two states away, you'll make it out.
	Wow.
	Frankly, but we'll try to get close to you.
	That's all we could do.
	I mean, that's what we have to do.
	All right, cool, man.
	Good talking to you.
	Good talking to you too, man.
	Thanks for calling.
	Thanks.
	Thanks.
	All right.
	This is the very last one.
	Asking Matty about a motorcycle.
	814.
	You're on the lower.
	you Hey, how's it going, guys?
	What's up?
	Not much.
	I had a quick question for Matty.
	I'm looking to buy a new bike this spring, and I'm coming off of Honda.
	An 85 Honda Shadow, actually.
	I'm really liking the Rebel 1100s, but I've also test-driven a couple of Harleys, so I'm just asking his opinion on sticking with the soft-tail line.
	I do a good bit of commuting to work, about a 45-minute ride to and from every day, and also my wife rides with me a lot, so it's got to be a soft-tail frame.
	I don't think I need a Touring, but I'm just looking for some ideas on what I can compare to the Honda Rebel 1100 and see what will be, you know, my options.
	I mean, are you particularly stuck on going with Harley?
	I'm not stuck on it.
	The ones I've test driven, I really like.
	Which ones have you test rode?
	At the end of summer, I wrote a 2008 custom.
	Okay.
	My buddy actually builds, rebuilds Harleys, but he sticks to Sportzers.
	At least on the older frames, but not really.
	You'd be a little small, especially if you're riding your wife.
	Yeah.
	You would definitely want a big twin.
	Right.
	My favorite, which was what they call a Dyna Superglide Sport, which is kind of like It was classified as like a touring bike, but it didn't have like bags.
	I mean, you can get bags for it and stuff like that, but diners are great.
	Yeah, diners are great.
	There's all different types of diners.
	Oh, yeah.
	I was a fan.
	I hadn't rode a street glide for a while, but you said you didn't want to stay away from baggers and a touring bike.
	So that's probably got a bit.
	I don't think I'm ready for that size of bike yet because I've only put like 6,000 on my bike so far.
	So I'm still pretty new to it.
	Okay.
	I would definitely go with, if you're not looking to buy brand new, I would buy like anything over like an 06 or an 08 and above like Dyna.
	Okay, alright.
	And it could definitely step, because it's big enough to ride you and your wife, but it's not like a full-fledged touring bike, so.
	And you said street glide?
	The street glide, I mean, the street glide, the fairing moves with the forks, and then you have the road glide where the fairing stays stationary.
	Okay, gotcha.
	And the forks and everything move in between it, yeah.
	That's called a street glide.
	Now, do they still make that, or are you talking a used one in that regard, too?
	No, I think they still make the street glide and the road glide.
	Okay.
	Alright, cool.
	I know I only get one thing.
	I'll call back next week.
	No, no, no.
	Go ahead, go ahead.
	I just wanted to ask, how do you go about doing test drives at motorcycle dealerships?
	Because that seems to be a thing.
	I've Googled some and it looks like it doesn't really happen often, unless they have like a test bike.
	Do you have a motorcycle license?
	I still am on a permit, so I hope to get it here as soon as they start doing them.
	You have to get your motorcycle license before they'll let you take one for a test drive, really.
	Okay, but that's pretty much the only hurdle you gotta cross?
	Yeah, you have to have a full-fledged motorcycle license, not just a permit.
	And then you go in and they'll have road test vehicles to test ride.
	Gotcha.
	And they make you put on this big silly like high-vis vest and it's kind of crazy.
	And usually they'll have someone, most of the times they'll have someone like someone from the dealership ride with you.
	Okay.
	Like next to you or follow or trail you.
	Yeah, but yeah.
	Cool.
	All right.
	Yep.
	You got it, my brother.
	Be safe.
	Thanks, buddy.
	Yep, you too.
	Alright, thanks everybody for tuning in.
	Oh, thank you very much.
	And we'll play you out with a little song.
	Just the first song I could come up with here.
	Let me see.
	okay all right we'll see you guys later and um you know thanks for tuning in and hope you enjoy oh yeah you can take those sure the rock out so they work i heard they work that they were a little bit there we go okay guys toodaloo thanks for tuning in

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