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Jan. 22, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:18:31
GOML LIVE #179 - A MILLION A MONTH (part 1)

It appears to be Sylvia's last show as a slew of cops show up and turn the whole thing into pigs VS. perps.

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Time Text
The Indians send signals from the rocks above the parks The Cowboys take position in the bushes and the grass.
The score is with the captain, she is tight against the tree.
She doesn't mind the language, it's the beating she don't need.
She lets loose all the horses when the corporal is asleep.
And he waits to find the fire's dead and arrows in his hat.
And David Crockett rides around and says it's cool for cats, it's cool for cats.
Cool for cats.
The Sweeney's doing 90 'cause they've got the world to go.
They get a gang of villains in a shed.
Welcome to another episode of Jew, I'm Alive.
That was Squeeze, Cool 4 Cats.
Wonderful band.
Blew up in the 70s.
Everyone thought they were going to be the new Beatles.
Heir to the Lennon and McCartney throne, they said.
And then... Nothing happened.
They faded away.
They were not the heir to any throne.
They pulled some muscles from a shell.
Was that them too?
They're pulling muscles from a shell.
Squeeze?
Oh, they had two hits.
Yeah.
Are you sure, Ryan?
Yeah.
Black coffee in bed?
That one I think you're making up.
Mattie looks a little blurry.
He looks pretty sharp.
He looks 1% blurry to me.
You know, his arm is more in focus than his face.
That's right.
We have a new guest tonight, John, boxing cop, gym.
That's what he is in my phone.
So we have John the cop from the Bronx.
We'll get to see him soon.
Have faith, folks.
It's coming up.
And then we, of course, have Sylvia.
Sylvia doesn't seem thrilled about her chair.
Can we zoom in on the three of them?
Sure.
I like the shot there.
Yeah, that's better.
That's better.
Welcome, John.
John, you were a cop in the Bronx for how long?
20 years.
20 years.
Yeah, I guess everyone was a cop for 20 years, right?
Started in the Bronx, got promoted to detective with Dinah Manhattan, and I came back to the Bronx.
Why?
There was a transfer, so I took it.
Closer to home.
They say that about American Indians.
They're the only group that returns to the res.
Blacks get rich.
They leave the hood forever.
Indians come back.
You came back to the Bronx.
It was my stomping ground.
It was good days back then.
But it was a violent hellhole.
It was a war zone.
It was?
It was a war zone.
But I was there 86 to 2003.
Rudy, you know, Giuliani was there.
So things were a lot different than it was today.
But a lot of your career was Dinkins.
Dinkins was there, but there was definitely, when Dinkins was there, there was a lot of lawlessness.
They had the riots in Brooklyn and stuff.
And you liked it.
It was a lot of good times there.
We did have the support of everybody but the mayor.
Wow.
We were talking about housing cops, because Tim, you were a housing cop for a while.
Yes.
And I heard Keith the cop, the Anthony Comey guy, he goes, God, I miss being a housing cop.
He goes, it was like hunting people.
Well, housing cops, any time a job would come over, you're like, where's housing?
They're never available.
Never available.
It's because there wasn't a lot of us.
We were elite.
I thought you were busy.
We're very busy.
Can you scoot up in some projects, screw in some Jungle Bunny?
Can you scooch closer to John, Tim?
Yeah, let's try not to.
No homo.
Not in a gay way, obviously.
And then, of course, we have our co-host, Matty O'Dell.
What's going on, everybody?
Good to see you.
Good to be back.
Convicted felon, cop, hater.
No, not a cop, hater.
I have lots of law enforcement in my family, believe it or not.
A man considering jumping to the other end of the room and just stabbing.
No.
Just stabbing.
I'm too old.
Too old to stab.
That's a t-shirt.
Huh?
That's a t-shirt.
Too old to stab.
Too old to stab.
It's funny, though, how cops and felons have so much in common.
And when I look at my texts from cops and felons, I see the exact same shit.
Almost indistinguishable.
Literally indistinguishable.
We kept saying we gotta do a game show where you have to guess if it's a cop or a felon.
Yeah, we gotta do that.
Because they love Trump, they hate the trans shit, and they also, my experience has been a lot of felons hate this sort of like getting released on bail with nothing when you, you know, you've stabbed someone.
Like, it's weird, but I think a lot of criminals like the law when it's fair.
Yeah, I always said, if you catch me, bingo, you got me.
But if you do something crooked, or you plant something, or you, you know, fabricate something, and it's like now you just, you know, I know what you do for a living, you know what I do for a living, and if we, you know... We're on the same page.
Yeah.
Like I said, if you got me, you got me.
The front page of the Post said we're not even trying.
And talked about how many people are released on bail.
I get mad when I see that because I just think of all my friends, Proud Boys who were in prison, and then I think of fucking Jan Sixers who were in jail.
And if everyone was getting released, I might be more open to it, but it seems like certain demographics get released and certain political affiliations don't get released.
Selective prosecution?
Anyway, you know how this show goes.
We take calls.
We're raising money for Max and John in prison.
We're raising money for Joe Biggs who's facing 25 years for meandering on January 6th.
We're free for As long as, uh, about an hour.
I usually forget and it goes two hours, but it should be a short amount of time.
And, uh, then we go behind the paywall.
We'll be taking calls.
Oh, shitballs!
I didn't really forget my computer, it's in the car.
So, I'll be getting my computer, we'll be reading, uh, letters.
We've gone through them all, so it's only the cream of the crop.
But before we get to any of that, Beard Vet.
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Even with his ridiculous hair in his eyes, he brewed these damn Grunt Cups with aplomb.
That's how easy and convenient these BeardVet grunt cups are to brew.
You're wearing a BeardVet hat right now, right Matty?
Yeah.
No, I'm not.
Oh.
Yeah, I am.
Wait, what happened there with Brian?
I thought you were talking about me.
You thought you were wearing a BeardVet hat?
I thought that you thought that I was wearing a BeardVet hat.
No, you're wearing a green screen on your head.
Matty, have you tried BeardVet spice rubs?
Not yet.
So let's incorporate those into Matty's shitty little kitchen.
I definitely will.
You could get money for that sponsorship because you asked me and, like a man, thought that would be a good idea.
Right on the other hand, started doing some celebrity mailbag livestream super chat where he's getting money.
Well, yes.
I saw some other people taking advantage of that and I think that that's cool.
And that's how the world works these days.
You watch somebody stream.
And then here's the thing, too.
We have a chat on like any live show like right now.
Let's go check it out.
You'll see a chat.
But the problem is they're talking to Jungle Asian.
They're posting their telegram chats.
So it's not something you could really interact with lest you just sit there and kind of read what's going on.
So in order to prioritize In other words, we have 62 people in there just kind of talking to each other, but in order to kind of have a pipeline for them to talk to me so I can interact with them and read their stuff, that helps that, that prioritizes that.
But you're asking for money at work.
It's like, do you have a Patreon?
Should you have a Patreon?
Should I?
I could do whatever I want.
Yeah, I could have a Patreon if I want.
Sure.
No, you can't.
I can't have a Patreon?
Well, I do.
Well, luckily you don't use it.
But this is bringing us to the Steven Crowder controversy, where they They made it very clear to him that he can't have a Patreon and he can't have other fundraisers because they're employed by him, but we'll get to that in a second.
But yeah, no you can't be begging for money on the show.
I'm not begging.
You don't have to send it.
Don't send it.
Oh, that's our guy, yeah.
a bit about their beard oils.
If you have a beard, have you ever noticed the skin gets dry and irritated?
Maybe you even have beard dandruff.
Our ad guy Sean has a beard that goes down to his ankles.
What?
And it's, oh, that's our guy, yeah.
It is pretty long.
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That's the end of that.
I like that new little logo they got there.
Posted up behind you.
The J6ers.
J6ers.
Yeah, it's taking the 76ers.
It's the Patriot.
That's a great logo.
1776.
Yeah, Nick Quested.
We had him on the show.
That was the guy that I liked who followed Proud Boys around for months, maybe a year before January 6th.
And then we were talking I've had beers with the guy and everything.
And then we were talking after, I think this was on the phone, and after January 6th, and he goes, yeah, well, I mean, no, that's it.
I saw him say that there was a lot of racists there.
So I called him.
I go, what did you just say on the news?
Racist?
And he goes, well, I mean, there was a lot of, uh, there's a lot of white guys there, you know, very angry white men.
Yes.
Uh, from the South.
So like, why do we allow British people in this country besides me?
It's not acceptable.
They're fucking retarded.
Large assumption.
A group of disproportionately Southern men are mad and white.
Racism ever been to a fucking NASCAR ever been to a monster truck rally you fucking shithead So we got to talk about this Steven Crowder We talked about this yesterday before we knew all the deals of his term, but he was he was pissed off about a term sheet That he held up a bunch of times He called it a contract and he was furious
But this shitty deal he got from a mystery network.
Now he left Blaze.
So we knew the mystery network was Daily Wire.
What else is going to be who has that kind of money?
It's not going to be Newsmax or what's it called?
News Nation.
And it did sound terrible.
It was like, if you don't show up this month, you're busy.
You lose a million dollars.
If you get banned from social media, you lose hundreds of thousands of dollars.
And we go, fuck them.
Fuck Daily Wire.
Those guys are dicks.
That's Ben Shapiro, right?
Yep.
Oh, I was wrong, by the way.
Yesterday I said Dan Bongino is part of Daily Wire.
In my car, New York Talk Radio does Ben Shapiro, Michael Knowles, Dan Bongino.
It's part of the same package.
I assume that means he's part of Daily Wire, but he's not.
He replaced Rush Limbaugh.
I'm not a big fan of his show.
The fucking commercials are relentless.
But then after we were finished shooting around 9 p.m.
last night, the head of Daily Wire made a video and he explained how much he was offering.
Let's do some ballpark guesses.
Sylvia, how much do you think Steven Crowder was offered to do a show per month?
We can zoom in on them like crazy, right?
How much?
I don't know, half a mil?
A month?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm surprised how close that was.
John, Steven Crowder, successful conservative pundit.
A month?
Yep.
Can you lean forward a little bit?
Talking to the mic a little more?
Sorry.
250,000.
Okay.
And AIME?
Say 200,000.
200,000.
I was in that more of that ballpark with you guys.
I thought his deal would be like three million a year.
It's fucking $15 million a year.
Holy shit.
That's huge.
So now the fines... When I win something, I got it.
I was the closest.
No, wait a minute.
Sylvia was the closest.
I said $250,000.
She said $500,000.
He was getting what?
- She said 500,000. - She said 500,000. - What are you, damn.
- He was getting what, 1.5 million a month?
- That's what he wanted.
He wanted about $1,000,000 a month.
$65,000 an episode.
So when you hear about these fines, you're like, they're not so bad.
It's not so bad.
Dude, what are you thinking?
Someone offers you a million dollars a month, the answer's yes.
I swear to God, if Media Matters said, Gavin, we're offering you a million dollars a month, but you gotta shit on Trump and fucking Proud Boys and cops and the riot, I'd try it.
I'd be like, so today that bastard Trump was up to his old tricks.
I can't do it, I can't do it.
I might make it a month though.
But yeah, this this dude, I don't know, like, I don't think he's ever independently built a business.
He's incredibly successful.
Okay, he's the Elvis of the right.
I'm not denying that.
He's from Canada.
Yep.
Montreal, my alma mater.
I love the guy.
He doesn't like me, but I love the guy.
But um, We, when Anthony and I were just discussing this yesterday, we had no idea he was rejecting that kind of fucking money.
And then we find out that Blaze had offered him like, I don't know, $30 million or something?
No, Blaze didn't offer him that.
He demanded $30 million from Blaze over four years, I guess.
And then, I might be getting these numbers wrong.
And then he got offered $50 million over four years.
So $13 million a year from Daily Wire.
What are you thinking?
What are you thinking?
Your other idea better be pretty good.
A million dollars a month!
Quarter of a million dollars a week.
Like with an athlete, I read the Kansas City Chiefs have a cap at 13 million a year for their athletes.
When you hear 13 million a year, you go, okay, top athlete in the world.
You're in professional sports, you're in the MLB, you're in the NHL, you're in the fucking NFL.
Not good enough?
So that million dollars a month, that's what they were starting at?
That was the starting point?
And then all the other stipulations he'd get less?
Yes, and so his thing is, what's with the framing on that shot?
It got worse again.
Yeah, there we go.
Yeah, the stipulation is, If you, say you lose your Twitter, he's already lost his YouTube, but if you lose your Twitter, you get less money.
But their argument was, and you can find this video where the dude explains it, it's way too long, it's an hour.
The God King of Daily Wire.
Their deal is, if you get kicked off of social media, we can't advertise your show, we lose money.
So don't fuck up.
We need billboards to advertise your show.
If you put a swastika on a naked lady on a billboard and you get kicked off billboard rights, well now we can't push the show.
So what do you think the worst case scenario for him?
Tons and tons of money.
Absolutely.
The fines were like $25,000.
They were nothing.
So you get kicked off Twitter and I guarantee you he could have, this was just an offer, so he could have said I won't say the n-word on, there it is in the top left, I won't say the n-word, I won't say the Holocaust didn't happen, but if like I question the vaccine and I get shut down I shouldn't be penalized for that.
And I'm sure God King here would say okay fine, The fuck is he wearing, by the way?
A key.
He's got a broken, a bent key around his neck.
Some weird book no one likes.
And then a karate shirt.
This, I watched the whole thing.
You don't need to watch the whole thing.
Drop the needle anywhere in this thing and you get the point pretty quick.
Crowder came out with a new video as of like an hour ago.
Ooh!
And it sounds like he watched your video.
You and Anthony talking about it.
Oh no!
He said he tried to provide an alternative source.
Just as you and Anthony said.
He'd be like, listen, I know the contract says this and that, but if you go in there with an alternate source for them to make money, they're going to listen to it.
And so he was like, yeah, I did that.
And maybe he did.
Who knows?
But this is brand new.
15 minutes long.
Daily Wire, you should probably know I'm available for a million dollars a month.
How much is a private jet?
A private plane to buy?
A couple million dollars.
Okay, that's two months.
No, I think it's more than that.
Oh, absolutely.
Well, the Trump plane was $100 million, but like a cool little puddle jumper with like 15 seats?
A little Dr. Killer?
I don't want a jet, I don't have that many friends.
I want like something with 15 seats.
Definitely not getting a G750.
No.
It's up to $7 million at least.
And that's used, probably, right?
No problem.
That's seven months?
Nice.
Done.
Good way to look at it.
Then you got to maintain it.
Hop in boys.
We're going to Puerto Vallarta for free.
Oh, now I'm already thinking of the entourage, the hangers on.
I'll be your friend then.
It's not you.
It's like your friend's friend.
What's he saying now?
He basically said it's not about the money for him.
He said he's doing it for all the people that come in and want to make something of themselves, and he doesn't want to pull the ladder in as he's getting on the boat or something, right?
So, he's like, it's about these kids that don't know how to read contracts.
It's not a contract, it's an offer.
Hire a lawyer.
And it's enforcing YouTube's rights, basically.
Like, YouTube's sensibilities.
Well, hey, Gav, he can do what you do, and he probably knows how much money he can make on his own, and he's just, he's comparing that to what they're offering him, right?
Well, I think we both charge $10 a month.
Yeah, he has a crowd request.
So how many subs do you need to make a million?
100,000?
I don't know, could he get that?
Don't do math in public, as Matty O'Dell always says.
Never do math in public.
But, well, 25,000 is 250,000.
Yep.
So you need $100,000.
But then you need sponsors, too.
No you don't.
Not if everybody's paying for it.
Well, if you get the sponsors, that's where the money's at.
That's the other thing.
They said you need to do all these ad reads and he's like, no.
That's gay.
Okay.
He's a big 2A guy.
So I'm stunned.
But show me this new video.
Okay.
The one he just put up.
Only thing... Reach out to the... Oh, there's two playing here.
was their word, and not even for me, but for other people coming up facing these kinds of contacts.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I'm sorry to disparage old Stevie, but this is like Celine Dion saying, I gotta do this for all the other singers out there.
Like, you won the fucking lottery, dude.
We're not looking for tips.
There's not young YouTubers or conservative pundits going, I need Steven to fucking Break the mold and pave the way.
Cash in your check, dude.
A million dollars a month.
Enjoy yourself.
What?
Let's say it's a kid who comes in with 500,000 YouTube subscribers or something like that.
100,000.
Let's say it's some other kid.
You're paying six figures to come in and do it.
There's not the penalty of the demonetization or if they're removed from iTunes.
Recording conversations and playing them kind of rubs me the wrong way too, but I mean...
Yeah, it doesn't rub me the wrong way when Project Veritas finds some black dude who's bragging that he snuck CRTV into our schools and is brainwashing our kids.
That's good.
But this, who's going to hire you now?
Apparently, he said that he didn't want to do this, but they got personal people at the Daily Wire.
I watched the whole hour video of this guy and it's pedantic.
It's a tedious trope.
A tedious trip through the contract.
Like he goes through every single fucking page.
And you're like, no, I can tell it's a good deal.
Look, here's the advice I would like to give all young people.
There's things when you like your oasis and you know you have something amazing and you're young and you're like, you're not going to fuck me over.
If that's the case, do it yourself and go get rich, okay?
The other 99% is someone spots a talent in you, say yes, sign the contract, sign it all the way.
If you're so talented then they can take all your shit and then you go make new shit because you're so incredibly talented.
When you get an offer like that, say yes!
I remember I had a fucking taco truck and we were making about 80 grand a year and that's a fine line between gross and net.
We got offered 80 grand for the taco truck and my buddy Curtis was like, no, I don't want to sell.
I can make 80 grand in one year.
And I'm like, yeah, but this is an offer and running a taco truck sucks.
So fucking take it.
And then if we're such great restauranteurs, then we'll start a new thing and make money with it.
But every time I watch Shark Tank, I'm just like, say yes.
Say yes.
Say yes.
And then I was like, what about 5% for another 100 grand?
Shut the fuck up.
Say yes.
Get the ball moving.
Seal the deal.
Seal the fucking deal, boys.
So the deal's not sealed.
And you know what?
If I'm wrong, God bless Steven Crowder's cotton socks.
If he does a thing, a subscription thing, he sets up his own infrastructure, and he makes more than a million dollars a month, by all means, congratulations.
I said Crowder fucked up.
Oh yeah, McInnes?
I'm fucking making two million a month.
Then I'm an idiot, and I'm sorry, and you rock.
I want to be wrong on this.
I would love to be wrong.
I'd love for him to fucking drive by in a gold car and give me the finger.
That would be cool.
But I'm not seeing it.
Jesus H. Toledo.
Here's something else.
I was also very measured.
I was painstakingly clear.
This is a man being offered a million dollars a month talking about how measured he is.
What?
...off the table because it wasn't going to be a right fit.
That happens in business all the time.
Thank you.
But that we weren't talking about me.
We were talking about the futures of other people who could potentially be in that position, that very disconcerting position.
Yeah, we've all been there.
We've all been offered a $50 million deal for four years, and we don't know how to deal with it.
Finally, someone who's got the deal we've all received, a million dollars a month, And he's handling it.
It's communication.
I remember when I was offered a million dollars a month for four years and I was like I wish someone had paved the way and broken down the barriers.
So I wouldn't feel so confused and taken advantage of.
That's the worst part about being offered a million dollars a month.
You're like I'm sick of being taken advantage of.
It's a fuck ton of money, folks.
I don't know if you know how money works.
Dude, $10,000 a month is insane.
That's a fucking great salary.
That's really good.
The average salary in America is 50 grand.
Throw some zeros on it on the end of that and you're doing real well.
No need to be a pioneer.
Take the money and run.
I don't think they would have made a profit on that offer.
Throwing some zeros at the end of it.
He did one better.
He turned them all into zeros.
Well, they had all the ad reads he had to do, so they were getting paid from the advertisers.
Dude, imagine you worked for Crowder right now.
You'd be going... You said no?
You said no?
You could have been paying me just like in jets.
I'd make four jets a week.
I feel like if you said, if you dropped an N-bomb on Daily Wire once, they'd fucking bury you alive and piss on you.
Why, is he known for that?
Wait, so you're taking Crowder's side?
No, I'm just saying it would, it sounds like a hellish, it would have to be a lot of money to work over there.
They're so established, you know, they're safe.
They're too safe.
You know that.
No, no, no.
They're just like Blaze.
Blaze is like... Exactly.
They're just too safe.
You had to bleep out shit when you worked with them.
Yeah, but their thing was like keep your shit behind the paywall.
So wait a minute.
Ryan's take is Crowder did the right thing.
No, it's not binary.
It's just saying imagine working for Daily Wire though.
It would kind of blow.
I listen to Daily Wire all the time.
Not for us potty mouths.
If I was like a sweet girl with like conservative values, I'd be like daily wire it is.
Go there and you know.
So we could never be a daily wire because we wouldn't be able to not swear.
I wonder what James Ellis is getting.
We're foul-mouthed boys.
Yeah, I bet the other employees are like, uh, you're from what?
How much?
I thought I was killing it at 180 grand a year.
My name is God King.
And I'm not getting paid that much.
Yeah, she was recently signed there.
Yeah, yeah.
It's 65 grand an episode.
So say you work there and you're really proud of yourself because you make 200 grand.
And you should be proud of yourself if you make 200 grand.
That's a ton of money.
But then you go, wait a minute, that's three Crowder episodes.
That's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
He just did my annual salary.
I'd be upset.
I'm upset.
I'm sorry, do people subscribe to Daily Wire?
Yeah.
And you get all that?
And how much is the subscription?
And how many do they have?
I think it's the same as us.
I think it's $10 a month.
I'm not sure.
How much money do they bring in if they're offering that?
A ton.
A ton, and I suspect they might have... You can get that on Facebook, but there's always two ads with that.
They'll give you a three-minute, what do you call it, segment or something, and then you'll get two ads with it.
Right.
So they wanted all that revenue to make their money back, and that pissed him off.
Well, he was like, what if I get banned on Facebook?
Okay, well, don't get banned on Facebook.
I mean, it's hard to... He's kind of square, too.
Hold on a sec.
Nice.
And that's why you'll never be on Daily Wire.
It's a lot, Tim.
I had to actually cinch that at the end because it was getting into the danger zone.
Was there a little water with it?
I could feel like people trying to escape.
I could feel like they were letting some convicts out of the prison and some other guys were like, oh, we're getting out and they were running towards the gate.
And I was like, no, not you.
Daily Wire is... Only air is getting out.
Daily Wire is $16 a month for the lowest level.
What a bunch of... They are the official conservative force in the world.
That's the one that's... Those are conservatives that are allowed to exist.
Are they bigger than Blaze?
I, I, yes.
I'm not even going to look at that.
Yes.
Wow.
I would say- We get all our information from Ryan Rivera.
What do you think?
He doesn't need facts.
Ben Shapiro?
He's just got no idea.
If you go on YouTube and you have a fresh account with no algorithms, and you search like one conservative thing, you will not see as much Blaze stuff as you see.
Glenn Beck has been doing this shit since he was 17.
That doesn't, um, equate for- let me see.
Daily?
Wire?
I think Blaze might be bigger.
Anyway.
Okay, let's start taking some calls.
Michael knows.
We've got to get behind the paywall soon.
I have to run outside, and by the way, if you're waiting outside the studio and finally figured out where in the South Bronx we are, and you want to kill me, this would be a perfect time to do an assassination.
I've got to run out and get my computer, or as my daughter said when she was four, my McPewdie, so we can read some letters.
I think we're done with this topic of...
Million dollars a month.
That might be a good name for this episode.
Million dollars a month.
And then we'll take calls and then we'll put up the super chats.
The net worth of Blaze is, it says here, $239,000.
The net worth of Blaze is $239,000.
A year.
Wait, or... Wait, wait, that's what this says.
How old is this?
of Blaze is $239,000.
$239,000,000.
A year.
Oh, wait.
Or?
Wait, wait.
That's what this says.
How old is this?
$230,000,000.
$239,000,000.
Yeah.
Blaze net worth is $239,000.
Is that real?
This is what they make.
Oh, OK.
It says Daily Wire is a hundred million dollar a year business, though.
OK, but but how much does Blaze make?
The Blaze.
It's definitely in the several.
Four hundred and forty nine thousand couldn't come close to paying anyone's salary.
Alright, anyway.
Why don't you do the thanks for calling, put up the number, and I don't know, cut to yourself or Tim Dickman and John and Sylvia while I go and get my briefcase.
You are on the air.
I'm here to have a conversation.
This is a fucking loser.
You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why.
Hey, why does everyone get two things?
You have one thing.
Thank you for calling.
It was great hearing from you.
Bye bye.
All right, next call.
Home to mommy.
Hey, what's going on there, Pete?
Reminder, catch Maddie's Kitchen next Wednesday.
Wait till people see what you cooked up.
Skirt steak and chimichurri sauce.
That's true.
It's good.
It turned out rather well, I must say.
It's fantastic.
It's quick.
It's fantabulous.
And it's delicious.
It was very good.
Skirt steak and what?
Chimichurri.
There's a couple of alterations to MSLK.
Oh yeah!
So, that's a teaser.
Let them wonder.
What's MSLK?
Matty Sheetalow Kitchen.
Oh, right.
Can we see the cops in Sylvia again?
The lighting is harsh.
It looks terrible.
There's three gorgeous people.
Send makeup over here again.
Wardrobe.
Makeup on Sylvia please.
Sylvia don't need makeup.
Did you ever shoot anyone John?
No.
Did you ever get in a shootout?
Ah yes, that's been known to happen, yes.
Well I didn't fire my gun though.
You were in a shootout and you didn't fire your gun?
I actually went to, it's a long story, I went to, I got a call, it's a long story.
You got time?
Worked with a female in the Bronx, Creston Avenue, right where she lived.
This was Trish DeDish, she was a great cop.
And it was an EDP, 7.30 in the morning.
I was like, holy shit.
Emotionally disturbed person.
Emotionally disturbed person.
It's fucking freezing out.
It snowed the night before.
We didn't even have breakfast yet.
We're driving out to the place.
There's another, what do you call it?
The cop, another female cop walking.
I said, let's pick her up.
And we drove over there.
And we walk up into the building.
It's like a fucking five-story walk up.
And all of a sudden, this fucking raving lunatic comes running out with a t-shirt on.
And it's freezing out, and I said, Trish, that's the fucking guy.
Yeah, yeah.
We got a call that he's trying to stab the mother and everything.
And we're going to the door, and I yell to the other female cop, I say, listen, stop that fucking guy.
And she went to grab him, and the fucking guy laid her right out.
Fucking knocked her out, broke her fucking nose right then and there.
We went down, we started fighting, and you know, the more you hit him, the more crazier he got.
And eventually, We're running around in the street.
And I started macing him.
And as I'm macing him, he's fucking swallowing it.
He's chewing it.
I'm like, this fucking guy's nuts.
And we start fighting again.
And I told you earlier, the garbage crowd that day.
And this is the Bronx.
This is right by Crescent, Florida.
There's garbage everywhere.
Right by St.
James Park?
No, no.
Creston is the other side.
Okay.
But it's near St.
James.
It's walking distance.
Yeah.
So when you push the garbage up, all the garbage cans and everything was on that.
And there was a joint compound bucket.
And he picked it up over his head.
And that's when I pulled my gun out.
I said, don't you fucking throw that at me.
And what does he do?
Throws it at you.
He throws it at me.
Fucking hits me.
And he fucking charged me.
He was smart though.
He hit and charged me.
And started pulling at my gun.
And my partner Trish fucking Shot him.
Dead?
Nope.
Not dead.
Fuck, I got a hold of my gun.
He's shot.
He's still running around.
Finally we're getting into fights.
And we're still fighting and he runs up the block and all his shirt's turning red.
I said, listen dude, you're fucking shot.
And then he looked down, he seen that, and then he fucking dropped.
And he died.
Was he on PCP?
He did die.
He did die.
But you know what's funny?
IED came out.
The shooting team came out.
And you always hear nothing but bad things about internal affairs.
And they actually went up to the roof.
And found homeless people.
There's elevator shafts in certain roofs.
And they heard the commotion.
And you know, it's early in the morning.
They got nothing to do.
They come down there watching.
And they actually verified everything that we did.
Oh cool, there were your little body cams.
It was the same day that five Hasidic Jews were coming across the Brooklyn Bridge and they shot at those Hasidic Jews, an Arab, I don't know if you remember that.
94, 95, I forget the date, and they wound up shooting up these Jewish people coming across the Brooklyn Bridge by the FDR.
And that dominated the newspapers the next couple of days.
So we only got a small article in it, because the media has a lot to do with it.
But we wound up going to, they took my jacket, they verified, like there was chemicals on my jacket, chemicals on his jacket, went down to the district.
I had to jump through all the hoops that, although I didn't do the shooting, my partner at that time, she was covered under the 48 hour rule, where you do not have to say anything to the district attorney or the captains or anything.
But of course, I had to tell the story.
So I remember going to this small office in the 46th precinct.
All these bosses are there.
All the white shirts.
Everybody's there.
They look like all the chiefs and everything.
And there's no room to get in there, and to make a long story short, I'm the guy in the center and they start shooting questions at me.
But it went down to the grand jury.
So wait, were you interrogated more because you're a man?
No, no, no.
I was interrogated more because my partner, because back then if you were involved in a fatal shooting, you did not have to speak.
to the district attorney or anybody, there was like a 48-hour rule.
- Oh. - So they could get with the PBA lawyers.
I did have a PBA representative, but it was a justified shooting.
- Wait a minute, were you under that rule?
Or because you didn't do the shooting, you had to?
Because I didn't do the shooting.
You had to speak?
I had to speak.
Oh.
Or they would have suspended me.
Okay.
I thought that rule was good for all cops.
No, no.
Just because you're involved in a shooting, once you peg a round, and you hit somebody, you're covered underneath that.
But I wound up, we went to the grand jury, we were fully exonerated, so that was, it was a rough time.
But, you know, I never shot anybody, but that girl Trish, you never know.
If that guy could've got my gun, I could've been not here today.
How do you feel about female cops?
It's hit and miss.
It's like guys.
It's like guys.
There's some cops out there, the female warriors.
The hit and miss ratio is a little different though.
Six foot tall, tough cop, male cops.
I'll be honest with you, I worked with a lot of female cops and a lot of them were great, rugged cops.
They were smart.
What percentage?
Small percentage.
Until it gets physical.
They can't fight men.
I think that's your point.
No.
Well that's a big fucking deal!
You're right.
Cops are fighters!
I'd like to say the same thing.
I know so many great female cops that I don't want to say anything bad about.
There's that?
Also, you're not taking down a regular Joe.
This is not sparring at the ring.
- Well, I mean, in his story, she shot a guy, but there's not a lot of adrenaline control sometimes.
They kind of panic. - There's that?
Also, you're not taking down a regular Joe.
This is not sparring at the ring, which, by the way, John and I did yesterday, and he broke my neck. - Well, you always go with that overhand left.
That's all I got.
But you know something?
You keep nailing me with that.
And, you know, Coach Barnes is always saying, keep your hand up, keep your hand up.
But it gets heavy after a while.
The secret to fighting is to fight guys with heavy arms.
He's doing the Ali Foreman fight, but with your arm.
Their arms are too heavy to hold up.
Just tire his arm out.
So you're fighting a dude who is like, I don't want to go to jail.
And I'm on PCP.
And I just killed someone.
My adrenaline is coursing through my veins.
I'm Superman.
The family was with us.
He had gone and tried to kill his sister and his mother.
They were in the bathroom holding the door and he was stabbing through the bathroom door.
Oh my God.
And they were like calling 9-1-1 at that time.
But of course, about a month later when the lawsuits came, they were like, "Oh, my poor son, my loving brother!" You didn't have to do that.
But when they initially were interviewed, from what I understood, they basically stood up for us for what we'd done.
Well, he was definitely nuts.
I'm glad you brought up what you The family saying you should have done that because Biden was recently talking about police brutality and how Dangerous cops are and he said We have to retrain cops as to why should you always you shoot for that with deadly force?
The fact is, if you need to use your weapon, you don't have to do that!
That's verbatim.
Now, I'll read it in a normal voice so you can hear how insane it is.
We have to retrain cops as to why... What?
As to why?
That's not how English works.
We have to retrain cops as to why...
And then he goes, like, why should you always shoot for that with deadly force?
Shoot for that.
Like, he drifts into Shakespeare sometimes.
Fact is, if you need to use your weapon, you don't have to do that.
So, I'll translate for you, because not everyone speaks Biden.
He means shoot him in the kneecap.
Shoot off his earlobe.
Don't shoot from the chest.
Well, you're trained to shoot Santa Mass.
Yeah.
Well, he's saying don't do that anymore.
That's done.
It's hard enough to hit center mass.
And now he wants us to wing him?
But you know now at least everybody has a taser so you could tase in it but that doesn't all exist.
Especially in the winter time when everybody in the hood is wearing fucking three four jackets.
It doesn't work!
And even the whole like shooting in the leg you're not hitting his femoral artery like he's gonna get up he's gonna fuck you up.
Absolutely.
People are not... I would be debilitated if he shot me in the calf, but I'm a fag.
You shoot at some fucking six-foot-eight maniac who's on drugs in the calf, he doesn't even feel it.
What about you, Matty?
Have you ever been chased or arrested by a female cop?
I don't think so.
They're all males.
Uniform.
Not FBI.
No, um... Uniform cop, like, it was always, uh, I've had female state troopers and stuff stop me and female officers in, like, when I lived in, like... Of course I came across them.
But if you're thinking of running or even fighting a cop, and you see it's a woman who looks like Sylvia, you're gonna be like, I'm gonna go for this.
Or even just run.
Yeah, I mean...
If they already know who you are, there's no point in it.
See, nowadays it's great to be a cop because you don't have to do anything.
Yeah.
Years ago, when I was in narcotics, we had quotas.
If they were going to give us overtime, hey, you better put some bodies in that van.
You know, we used to lock up people for smoking reefer.
Was that TMZ?
That's a misdemeanor.
I was in, yeah, Bronx Narcotics.
You're smoking a joint.
Hey, hopefully you'll pass it to somebody else.
We're taking both of yours.
And we got a number, it was four hours of body.
At one time it was five hours.
Five hours overtime of body.
That's the truth.
So if you get five bodies, times four, you got 20 hours of overtime to whack up amongst your troops.
Nice.
With the paperwork, bring them down to Central Booking in that time.
Now the cops don't have to do anything.
With all the riots going on, they're getting plenty of overtime.
You took them down to Central Booking, or was Bronx House still open?
Bronx Central Booking, 161st.
Used to bring them down there.
Used to be by the motel over there.
By the Grand Concourse?
No, it was by the Grand Concourse.
161st and Grand Concourse.
That hotel you're thinking about, that's the 4-4 precinct over there by the Kingsville.
Oh, right off the Deagon?
Yeah.
Oh, okay, okay.
That's now, that's now actually that place that you're talking off the Deagon.
That used to be Bronx Task Force.
Okay.
Now they call it the CR, not CRT.
You're talking about the Yankee Stadium Hotel?
They're a response unit now.
The old Bronx Task Force.
When it's right, that's where they come at it.
Oh, okay.
It's more dangerous now to be a cop.
My granddaughter went to college to be one.
Anyway, I called up because I was going to try to scrape together money if she became a cop for body armor.
Well, when I called up, the police told me every cop in New York wears body armor that they provided.
So, if that's the case, I think it's worse to be police nowadays.
There's no respect for them, okay?
No fear of them.
And the criminals are more dangerous.
Did you guys have to wear body armor?
Yeah, we had a vest.
There's a lot of old-timers when I got on, I'm sure when you got on, they wouldn't wear a vest.
They were just uncomfortable with it.
But what you're saying, Sylvia, I understand what you're saying, but now when you think about it, if there's five guys hanging out by a bodega, we used to roll up there and we used to toss them.
Hey, what are you doing here?
We toss them.
See if they got anything on them.
Stop questioning frisks.
Now, if you see five guys or ten guys hanging out in front of a bodega, you just keep going.
And you wait till somebody fires a shot, then you come back and say, oh, you guys.
It was you.
Have you ever been arrested, Sylvia?
No.
You got up to some naughty stuff over the years.
You never got caught?
No.
Okay.
She's pretty slick.
This is a crime intervention.
Cuff her.
Well, yeah, it's sort of like this is your life, but it's cops who are here to arrest you.
You did this crime in 1975.
All right, let's put up the number to call in.
Feel free to call in with questions for Matty O'Dell, John the Cop, Dick Man, and Sylvia.
The number's 718-400-6959 if you're just listening.
Grab me a bud.
And Gav, if you could turn on your mic, that would be great.
Frankly, it would be great, right?
Thanks.
And we got our first caller, 206.
And I'll take a shot too.
Alright, let's do some shots.
Matty's cousin got some fancy maker's mark.
Might as well get him a bud too.
Fancy maker's mark that is like 100 proof, so we've been sipping off of that, which is why our grammar is not amazing.
Go ahead, caller.
Okay.
One second.
Check, check.
Yes, 206.
Hey, man.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello, hello?
Hello, hello, can you hear me?
Matty, if there's a gatorade, There should be Gatorade in the cases under the- not in the fridge, but on the bar.
Can you hear me, buddy?
Buddy?
Our system is- never works.
Hello?
Gavin.
Hello, can you hear me?
Hey, I can hear you.
Uhuru.
Uhuru.
Hey.
Dad, I got a question for you as well as the rest of the gang.
It's a hypothetical.
So, pegging, right?
Thanks, man.
So say you're in a loving marriage, right?
Long marriage.
And your wife tells you that she's gonna leave you unless you let her peg you.
Would you do it?
I'd do it absolutely.
I might get into it.
I don't know.
Now here's a problem.
What if...
Her taste is that pegging is the majority of the intercourse.
That's when you're like, uh, I was willing to give it a whirl on New Year's Eve, but now you want, you want to fuck me up the ass every Wednesday?
Hold on, I'm coming.
I don't know, I would definitely try it.
But yeah, if you tried it and you don't like it, then it's bad news if she wants it to be a regular thing.
And if you tried it and you did like it, you're a fag.
Sorry.
So you would let pegging save your marriage?
Yes, a certain number of times.
If my wife was really, really into pegging, I would let her peg me once a year.
New Year's Eve.
He's so moved.
We don't know what he's planning.
Alright, well thanks for calling.
Alright, thanks for calling.
Yes.
Here's a letter we got.
Hey guys, can we please get a Joe Tonelli update?
It's been too long since we've heard about his untruthful exploits.
Also, please, please bring Linda back to the live show.
Linda's never coming back.
I don't know why.
I begged her on my hands and knees.
So, Joe Tonelli is a compulsive liar who was at our local that we go to after the show.
What are you guys, on your fucking phones?
Caught you.
I thought police obeyed the laws.
You guys are in big trouble.
Who's on that phone?
Joe Tinelli is an absolute imbecile, compulsive liar.
He used to be at our local, he was a bartender there.
He got a $100 tip on Memorial Day for saying he's a Marine.
He's not a Marine.
He said he went to high school in Scotland.
Matty goes, Matty and, both our parents are from Scotland.
His mother grew up like an hour, four miles from my mother.
And Matty goes, Hey, um, so you grew up in Scotland.
What are some, you know, they've got a very thick culture there.
A lot of vernacular.
What are some of the terms you heard growing up in Glasgow in high school?
He's like, well, I don't know.
Or is it Sky The New?
Or is it Sky The Breakout?
Or is your jumper dear?
Yeah.
She's watching Jumper Son.
Is it related to that Congressman Soto's?
Santos?
Yeah.
So then my favorite part of Joe Tonelli is he goes, actually I got some good news.
I've been talking to a therapist who's going to help me with my compulsive lying.
And was it you who said bull?
Me and Jose.
Yeah.
You and Jose are like, wait a minute.
You're here at 11 a.m.
And don't leave until 11 a.m.
You don't leave until 11 p.m.
Does this therapist do night shifts?
You're fucking lying about a therapist to help you with your compulsive lying.
You fucking liar.
It's terrible.
So the last I heard of him, he got a new job and he started saying he was a Marine again.
And I think the owner of the bar was a Marine.
Fired him.
Was that Dunn's?
No, that was um...
Something Italian, like steakhouse or something.
There he is.
So the owner was like, I'm going to say this.
Like, you know how Marines are about being Marines.
So the owner was like, I'm going to say this once, but don't fucking say you're a Marine ever again.
Or you're toast.
He's like, I got it.
Like what?
Seriously?
Seriously?
Okay.
I got it.
And then a day later, yeah, I was in the shit in Afghanistan.
You know, that's us Marines.
So he was sent away.
But then he, not inherited, he got money from a car accident.
And he got money, he's on disability from his neck.
So he got a like four year back pay for that.
Oh yeah, didn't he get 80 grand?
Yeah, but then he got like another 36 or like 40 grand from disability.
What is he, Steven Crowder?
So now he moved out of that little closet he lived in, that old lady's.
He lived in a woman's house, yeah.
In like the attic.
So he moved out of there.
He's got a new girlfriend.
From what I hear, he sits in the bar up there in White Plains and spends between two to three hundred dollars a day.
Moved into a new apartment.
He's probably got about fifty cents left.
This is what's gonna happen with reparations, by the way.
It's not gonna be a lot of college funds.
And I heard he's been lending out money.
Remember when he answered an email about six million dollars that has to be sent from South Africa?
Oh, I got a good update.
Oh, good.
Everybody in the town I live in and where he went to high school, someone put this on YouTube.
Oh, this?
Yeah.
And they're playing it in all the bars.
Really?
Seriously?
Yeah.
From like Kelly's in Rye and all that to everywhere.
I was in the station the other day and everyone was like, what's going on?
What'd you guys do with Joe Tonelli?
I was like, oh god.
They were like, we've seen some videos of him.
We showcased him.
Really?
Yeah.
Really.
I think he blocked my number.
I tried to call him.
Me and Jose were going to go find him today.
What a meathead.
Just to break his balls.
What a meathead.
I might go do that tomorrow.
That's gold.
Remember when he pretended he worked at FedEx and he went on eBay and bought a bunch of FedEx clothes?
FedEx stuff, yeah.
And then we go, take a picture of you at work, we might believe you.
So he takes a picture of himself at like a FedEx place, but he's in front of the counter.
He actually went to the lengths of buying like a FedEx shirt.
And they're not cheap.
They're like 40 bucks.
Because I went to the FedEx where he said he was working in Elmsford.
I was like, is the guy Joe Tinelli working there?
They're like, who?
There's like no new hire here.
Yeah, we criticize him, of course, but hanging out at the bar, it was like 50% of our conversations.
Joe Tinelli's latest lies, how implausible they are, why they don't make sense, why Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't have a dojo, there's no way he could have invited you there.
Well, he was in Maricopa County Jail.
Why you didn't beat up eight dudes in county jail, eight black dudes.
But the best was when he was a trauma flight nurse.
Yes.
Landing helicopters on the highway.
You're not lying.
He was telling these guys this story.
Like he was in combat.
The helicopter swooped down and he jumped out of the helicopter and as he's running back to the helicopter with this kid that's been in this devastating car accident.
I go, Joe.
That's not how it works.
Yeah, he's watching too much man.
So then he goes to the best part.
It's not even the best part yet.
As he's running up to the chopper, he's handing off the child, a drunk driver hits him and the helicopter!
It's like an episode of Chips.
Oh God.
It's like, oh Joe, first of all, when they call in Life Flight and they're on the highway, they shut everything down.
I'm like, there's an ambulance on scene that's treating the patient already who says, we need Life Flight.
They roll up there with the gurney and then, I'm like, you're not running around.
You don't just land helicopters on a highway.
Sometimes the compliance will be false.
Yeah.
It doesn't work that way, Joe.
They are retarded.
One time, I swear to God.
He landed a helicopter on the highway, but were cars zipping by?
No, we hit a Pursuit.
I swear to God.
The whole time you guys are saying this, I'm thinking about this.
Pursuit starts in Middletown, goes south on 17th, hit the Woodbury Tolls, south on the New York State's Roadway.
So, I don't know how, maybe 10 miles south of the New York State's Roadway.
So it's gotta be like by the Palisades.
Not quite that far.
Orangetown.
Sloatsburg.
Exit 15.
Right.
We finally get the guy stopped.
Aviation was put up because of the pursuit.
Jim Torhan was the pilot.
He literally, because traffic was already stopped, because we stopped him right in the middle of the highway, we pulled the guy out of the car and I look and Jim's standing there with all his flight gear on his helmet and he's tuning the guy up with us.
But for him to land on that highway with that helicopter, there's no cars allowed.
No, no.
Everybody was stopped.
Traffic was completely stopped.
I love that terminology, tune up.
I actually grew up with him.
We went to St.
Phillips in the Bronx.
I worked with Bernie Crowley.
He was called the mechanic.
In the 4'6 precinct.
And he went at the molding commission.
They called him mechanic because he used to tune people up.
Great guy growing up.
You were at Fort Apache, the Bronx, weren't you?
Fort Apache is in the South Bronx.
I was in the 4'6.
The 4-6 was a lot busier in the 80s and the 90s because everything in the South Bronx burned down.
The 4-6 was considered South Bronx though.
That falls under PSA 7.
How far did it go down in the concourse?
About 183rd?
It started at Fordham Road and went down to 175 in the concourse.
From River to Webster and then the 4-4 precinct.
The Yankee Stadium precinct took over then.
All right, we should get behind the paywall soon.
Let's talk about Nita Fashions before we do.
Nita Fashions, I think they've left London now.
Nita Fashions is for cheap, rich guys, where you go there and get a custom suit for basically nothing.
Shirts, everything you need.
They are, what are we, 4th February?
Oh yeah, so they're in London right now at the Intercontinental London Park Lane from the 31st, oh sorry, not right now.
They're starting from the 31st of January to the 4th of February.
You go in there, you get all souped up, they measure your neck, your inseam.
It's a male version of a spa and then they have your blueprint.
It's like Prince.
I heard Prince had like a room where all these seamstresses were making outfits for him because they had his bust.
So he'd come down and put on a little purple pantsuit.
Was there a lot of seam in there?
So, you have your own Prince Room.
Once these guys make your measurements, they live in Hong Kong, they send you swatches, but when you go to these particular things, they show you the swatches, show you the shirts, and you get custom suits.
A suit could be as cheap as $800, a shirt could be as cheap as $50.
At the other end of the spectrum, you could do like a $2,000 suit, $100 shirt.
But here in America, if you have a custom suit made, you're looking at five grand.
It's just untenable.
And it's no fun.
But these suits are so comfortable, so perfect.
It's like you're wearing pajamas.
You go to the wedding, you're the only guy that's not uncomfortable.
You go to a funeral, and we all love funerals.
You're the only guy not suffering.
You go to a job interview, you're just better Off.
You're more you because you're more relaxed.
It literally feels like pajamas.
I'm not exaggerating and I hate the word literally.
So what you do is you contact these guys on their Instagram.
That seems to be the best way to contact them.
You DM them and ideally you can set up a meeting when they're in your town.
And when I say your town, they're in Glasgow, London, Toronto, New York, Singapore like they tour the world doing these measurements and showing swatches and then they go back to Hong Kong and make the suits.
You see me wearing suits on this show 90 percent of the time and all of my suits are Anita fashions.
Couple Ted Baker blazers but mostly Anita fashions.
So set up an appointment with them.
You can do it online too.
You can do a FaceTime thing or whatever is Zoom call and they'll measure you there.
Your wife sort of holds the tape measure around your neck.
Consider strangling you and then you get You get your blueprint there.
I love it.
I love it in person.
It's a lot more fun in person Oh, there there's me hanging out with these dudes So the reason I look so incredibly gorgeous on this show all the time is because of need of fashions Tell you see you were wearing Tuesday was pretty sharp that what the black suit you were in Tuesday the Jesse James one No, I started catching up.
It kind of looked like a preacher, like a priest kind of outfit.
No, no, no, the blue, that was actually blue.
It was dark blue?
Sometimes the colors don't convey here with very dark blue and black.
Oh yeah, that's pretty sharp.
That's Nita fashion.
You know what comes in handy too, especially with the colors, they have these cool swatch stickers.
And you can kind of like carry them around and put them on and you can like put it against your thing.
So like, what would the tie look like with this?
And you have this awesome, I kind of put it on my arm and I have like it just on my arm, like an awesome swatch sticker.
And I like to cover my room with them too.
Just a room full of swatch stickers.
And they're really convenient.
Yet again, you can match and kind of party with them.
And these different swatches.
You can even make a flag if you want.
And you could just be marching around proud of this print that you have.
You could work on them with some designs.
Yeah, it was a suit he was wearing on Tuesday.
Right.
And then you have this awesome flag that you're just marching around with with a huge swatch sticker on it.
And it's a lot of fun for the whole family too.
You can get kid suits, women's suits.
They make like pantsuits for women.
But yeah, these swatch stickers.
Very cool, very powerful, strong invention that they came up with there.
By the way, Matty.
Yes?
You survived.
Just a teaser now.
Okay, I just sent you a picture.
You had a health crisis.
Yesterday, yes.
In the upcoming... Matty should be able to picture it.
Well, whatever that last night I ate when we left the supermarket almost killed me.
Anaphylactic shock.
Yeah.
Thank God for Benadryl.
That was fucking crazy.
So we thought Matty was gonna die.
Did you just do a swastika joke during an ad read?
No, right after.
No, I think the company was still up.
Swatch sticker, I said.
Yeah.
Who's on first?
Okay, so we apologize, City of Fashions, for an inappropriate Nazi joke during a fucking ad read, but please go to them.
Alright, are the Super Chats up or have they been shut down?
I think they're back.
We'll check up on those.
I know my accountant was getting nervous that we're giving money to Jan Sixers, but we did the research.
When you get charity, if you spend it all on the guy, you're You're good.
Hey Policeman John, call white men whiskey mics.
What would you call?
What?
Cops call white men whiskey mics.
What would you call Ryan?
Oh, I see.
I've never heard of whiskey mic before.
White man?
- What do you have? - Phenetic Alphabet, I think they're saying.
- White man?
- Oh, whiskey man.
- Oh, okay. - It's not a New York thing, I guess.
That's a military phonetic alphabet.
Yeah.
It's not when a... Something with the cops, yes.
Is M Mike?
M is Mike, I guess, huh?
Yeah.
No, did you just ask if the word Mike starts with an M?
No, no, I asked if that was the phonetical alphabet.
Mary.
Mary is the acronym for the police department.
Right.
Oh, phew.
So we go Sector Mary.
Where you at?
Sector is a police car.
Because when you get a precinct, think of it as a pizzeria.
A slice of, you know, pizza pie.
You cut it into slices, and you'd have Sector Adam, Boy, Charlie, David.
And in certain areas where you've got a lot of area to cover, you might be Ida Jon.
And whatever 911 calls come in, we'll go, hey, sector 46 Charlie, you have a job here.
Are there cool names for different races?
No.
Promise?
Well, I will tell you, you know, this is my first time meeting him, and again, We had a case, I was telling you earlier, we went all the way upstate New York, and we're doing a narcotics case out of Washington Heights, they're selling, of course all the heroin's coming from Queens, it goes to Washington Heights, it goes all the way upstate, and we didn't know where we were driving around up there.
It was all the way up there, and we didn't have a clue, so they partnered us up with another state trooper, so I'm with this other state trooper, he says, all the Canadians live over here.
Yeah, yeah.
I know that too.
I was like, fucking Canadians!
We're fucking 200 miles from the border, what are you doing down here?
Then I didn't realize what Canadian stood for.
Oh yeah, yeah, classic.
Well in parts of Westchester it means Jew.
In Austin it means black, and here it means black.
It means like, the thing you're not supposed to say.
But if you're in an area where there's no blacks, then like wasps will call Jews Canadians.
It's the bad word.
And it hurts me as a Canadian because it means no one's talking about us.
So if someone talks about us, people go, well, it can't be Canadians because no one talks about them.
The Jersey State Troopers, they used to call all the New Yorkers going down to New Jersey Shore, the Bennys.
I pulled over a couple of Bennys, I gave them a ticket.
Why Bennys?
I didn't, that was their slang.
I don't understand that.
We used to call them Mondays sometimes.
What does Mondays mean?
Everybody hates him.
Isn't it true he used to call upstate cops cupcakes?
Cupcake!
They live in East Cupcake.
They live up in East Cupcake.
I heard that from Larry Barnes.
He says that all the time.
Coach Barnes.
Cupcake!
Well, some of the people that Larry Barnes calls cupcakes are actually really good people and have been misunderstood.
So far, it's been one for one.
No, I think the word has been bastardized.
I think if you'd look into a lot of people that he calls cupcakes, you'd realize that they're actually pretty tough.
Pretty tough guys.
You get all these people from East Cupcake, Long Island.
They're coming on the NYPD.
They've never been on a train before.
And now they're transit cops.
And they're like, what the fuck?
This thing's fast!
Let's get behind the paywall but let's do some live chats, super chats before we do.
Raising money for Max and John who fought Antifa.
We got one.
These aren't all of them here.
So we got to get all of them, right?
The bottom.
Here's the the most recent is in the bottom.
The one right after that is from last week.
So we are OK.
I don't care about five dollar ones.
We already showed it.
I'd be really curious to see how that offer compares to Matt Walsh's current contract.
Yeah, me too.
I bet Matt is still under contract.
They gave him when he moved to Nashville.
He used to film his podcast for DW in his car.
And he exploded this year.
Yeah, he did a groundbreaking movie, What is a Woman?
So I bet his current contract is way behind.
I bet the most Matt Walsh's contract could possibly be is a million dollars a year.
So he must see fucking Crowder get offered 13 as a first offer, by the way.
That means that's your base.
But what does Crowder have as a base on YouTube?
He can't monetize YouTube.
No, but he's bringing a fan base.
A huge fan base.
For like 10 years, yeah, to be fair.
Yeah, massive fan base.
But all the eggs are in that basket.
Yeah.
Right, if they do pay to go over.
You're banking on that?
And I've heard that like the people who watch you for free, 7% of them are willing to pay.
Huh.
That's one of the numbers.
Fight me!
Ryan Gavin, you are too old and gay.
I'm 32 and had my first boxing match a couple months ago.
I see Ryan is starting to spar.
Since we are close in age and experience, he should fight me.
I'm 0-1, so Ryan shouldn't be too scared.
Don't be a pussy.
Accept my challenge.
I'll fly out to you.
I'll buy five one-year long subscriptions.
Blah blah blah.
If you win you will advertise for me for on five episodes what?
What does that mean?
We could discuss the... Product to be determined I can fight you between the months of April and June.
What's your weight?
That's all I want to know.
What if it's some fucking beast?
What if it's a little guy?
I need at least two months to get in shape.
You know what I saw recently?
I saw Andrew Tate fighting some male feminist who decided he wanted to kick his ass and I'm not saying Ryan is a professional fighter, but don't challenge professional fighters to fights.
How many times have we seen this happen?
Andrew Tate was a four-time world champ.
Yeah.
They're like, I was a street fighter.
I've been to jail.
I want to fight the owner of this gym.
The guy's like, OK.
Boop-a-doop-boop-bootily-boop-boop.
I got a good video of me and you sparring, actually.
The one that DocVid videotaped us.
Well, if I'm not losing, I'd love to show it.
And if I am losing, please delete it.
It's 50-50.
Oh, good.
When was that?
Was that when I was doing a lot of, like, the low Larry Barnsey-ing things?
A lot of times when coach tells us to get into the ring, Ryan will probably say, hey, don't hit me.
Just, you know, pretend.
Wait, what?
Oh, really?
No, I'm just... Oh, okay.
I was like, dude, what?
That'd be crazy.
I just sent you the Andrew Tate thing, though.
Oh, why?
The guy goes to some dude's gym and says, I want to fight Andrew Tate because he's sexist.
What?
Oh, Jesus.
What are you thinking?
How about you fight a woman and prove that they're equal?
Yeah, that would be better.
No, that's boring.
Is that what I sent you?
This is the last thing that you just sent me.
Oh shit, sorry.
I didn't mean to send you that.
He's okay.
Gays, raping kids, Biden totally uncomfortable.
Can we take one call while we do that?
Uh, yes.
Alright.
We have 615, you're on the live.
Go ahead 615.
Hey, what's going on y'all?
Hey man!
Hey, so uh...
As far as your tour for this year.
And racism.
I was wondering what cities you were considering.
I don't know offhand but red cities like Coeur d'Alene would be a good one.
Fucking Denver or near Denver.
Basically all of Florida.
Nashville.
Nashville?
Nashville would be good.
Nashville's kind of woke though.
Yeah.
From what I hear, at least.
Yeah, you're right.
It's getting woker, but there's a lot of venues, though.
Yeah, I was just there.
I got these incredible jeans there.
Nice.
They're the best pants I've ever had.
Do you live in Nashville?
I do.
Have you ever been to, uh... I gotta pull them down to see the name.
Oh, God!
Emojean and Willie?
Uh, no.
I've never heard of that.
Wait, wait, is it like, um, is it on Broadway and shit?
Mainstrip?
Was it on the main?
Well, they got a bunch of main strips.
Nashville, I took pictures from the plane.
It goes on for 100 years.
Yeah, but they got the one main drag with all the country bars.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's not on that main drag.
No, no, no.
You said it's quality?
Can't be more koala-ty than this.
Finally, a good joke from Ryan.
Jesus Christ, it's been an hour and 15 minutes.
I understand swastikas aren't the chillest thing to joke about, but swatch sticker?
That's very good.
Alright, thanks for calling.
Let's watch a male feminist challenge Andrew Tate to a fight to the death.
They're not even in a ring.
- Damn, the foot on that.
- What were you thinking?
- One overhand right.
- Look at those giant gloves too.
They're like 16 ounce gloves. - 50 seconds. - Good.
- Good, good, good, good.
- Good, good.
That's a duff.
Did you see the body?
My favorite part of that video is the body shots in the middle.
Yeah, you can't breathe, you can't fight.
Yeah.
Not that one.
It's in the middle.
- He's just playing with him and he likes to, 'cause he wants him to punch, he wants to duck. - He's an actual four-time world champ kickboxer.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, missed the uppercut. - But he's clearly having fun just, you know.
- A left hook.
- You know those drills. - In the way of his punches.
And then he's like, "All right, now I'm gonna knock him out." The drills where you miss the uppercut on purpose?
Do you think he missed the uppercut on purpose?
To get momentum for a left hook?
That uppercut would be so painful.
Yeah.
If he lands.
But he catches him here with his right.
John's worst fear is uppercuts.
Watch his right.
Right here.
The one he knocks him down with.
Oh, it's clear.
See, I like those.
I like those body shots.
They're not glamorous.
Well, that's a liver shot right there.
Yeah, yeah.
That's ending him.
And you can kind of see the guy go, I don't feel so good.
Yeah, you see that face?
He's probably going to piss blood.
What were you thinking?
Did you think Andrew Tate was fake and he's never been in a fight?
It was all an act?
The word for that is just a duff.
That's just a duff.
And then to collapse on a weight like a treadmill is funny.
Okay, I want to go behind the paywall now.
Are we all caught up on the super chats?
No, I think there was a hundred dollar one that we still... Okay, let's do it.
All right.
Oh no, that was the $100 one.
So we have a $50, $10, and $25.
Okay, so that guy who wants to fight you, I mean, we're open to that, right?
It's the same weight class.
I'd like to know your weight class, and that's about it.
Maddie, have you been bitten by a tick lately?
They cause the mammalian meat.
Yeah, that is true.
If you get certain types of Lyme, you can't eat red meat.
But no, I wasn't eating red meat at the time.
I ate red meat later on after that.
It was nuts.
It was nuts.
You were eating nuts.
It was some kind of Brazilian nut.
It was nuts.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
Do you have a nut allergy?
I didn't know until yesterday.
Apparently.
Your whole life you've been eating nuts and never had a problem.
I never had this one particular nut yesterday.
I've been swallowing nuts my whole life.
Is that something you could develop?
Have you eaten these nuts?
These nuts?
Deez Nuts are here when I close my eyes.
It changed my voice.
It was crazy.
It was weird, dude.
It felt like somebody was strangling me.
I'm gonna get you an EpiPen for the Deez Nuts.
I know.
Next chat thingamadoodle.
Why can't women grasp where North, West, East, and South is without a compass?
I guess they've never had to.
I heard that the other day.
Go down a bit.
Is that Steven Crowder?
What are your thoughts on dating a girl who flip-flops on the relationship?
I've dated this girl and we'll reconnect every year or so and she always ends it.
That's just a Friends With Benefits.
Because we have a lot in common.
Yeah, she's done.
Yeah.
It's done.
Keep Banger though.
Banger if you're bored.
That's a FWB.
Friends With Benefits.
Friends With Benefits.
Friendy with Benny.
Alright guys, we're going behind the paywall now.
We'll continue taking calls, reading letters, talking to the cops, the felons, and Sylvia.
But as far as you freeloaders go, you're done.
So you're kicked out of here.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
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