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Oct. 14, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:07:23

GOML LIVE #169 - HERB TARLEK IS CART NARC

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Time	Text
	Tonight, it's gonna be a big one.
	Gabby's got his best show on, so we head down to Mae's for free drinks.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis!
	Mainly because Mave's girlfriend's dumped in.
	Mickey's been diagnosed with irritable sweat syndrome, so we just need a bit of a release, yeah.
	You know?
	Let's start off some spoons, let's have it.
	Chicken, chicken, it's over, all fine and I. I threw me up with some parts of longer and I'll be alright.
	I'm gonna come on up, angels alive.
	I'll lock me up with wine and said burger, everything's alright.
	Yeah, we'll be alright.
	music
	Things start getting a little bit juicy.
	The Gaga bomb starts to Get Off My Lawn.
	This is Get Off My Lawn Live Thursday nights.
	We got Matty O'Dell in the house.
	Wait, your mic's on.
	This mic's not on?
	The plugged in?
	Yeah.
	We should probably test that before we go live.
	Straight for Glasgow, Matty O'Dell.
	Hey, that you?
	It wasn't a plugged in.
	So you're back for the hospital, by the way, there, big man.
	Aye.
	And you had a steel umbrella put up your crotch through your juggler vein into your heart after burning holes through various ventricles.
	And the new, you got a wee steel mesh like a colander.
	Aye, son.
	In a wee corner.
	Do we all have that same corner?
	Yeah.
	But yours was problematic.
	The left atrial appendage.
	So why don't they like your left atrial appendage?
	Because my heart sometimes doesn't function properly like a normal heart.
	So blood will stay there.
	It'll get stuck in there.
	And then it'll start to coagulate and form blood clots.
	And is that why Rastafarians are so offended by your heart?
	Because it's got the blood clot.
	I got the clot, you know.
	I got Matty's heart closing in on me with all them blood clot.
	Quit your crying.
	This episode is brought to you by betdsi.com.
	The NFL is back, and BetDSI is where I bet and make extra money right now.
	By the way, I'm getting all this shit about my Mets bet.
	People are like, ah, well, the Mets fucked you over.
	Why?
	Because we didn't win the World Series.
	I didn't fuck Eva Mendez, but I fucked a lot of chicks, and I'm pretty happy with it.
	I won $809.
	I was wrong when I said 268.
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	Get a $50 wait a minute.
	Bubba and Hank's gift card?
	Dude.
	I'm getting mad.
	This is what I'm seeing.
	I'm getting mad.
	I'm calling him.
	What?
	They don't exist.
	And they went like 10 months without paying me.
	That doesn't mean you can't still get a gift card.
	What's his name again?
	What is it?
	It starts with a V. Yeah, but he might be on my phone.
	Yeah, here we go.
	Wait, do you want to?
	Okay.
	Bubba and Hanks?
	Like this guy.
	Hey, Mr. McKinnis, how you doing, buddy?
	You're on the air.
	Hey, man, what's going on with this Bet DSI?
	They get a Bubba and Hanks gift card.
	I've got the Reads, Live Reads, 10-13-2022.
	Bet DSI live read ends with, use promo code GAM100 and get a $50 Bubba and Hanks card.
	Let me open up the document.
	We're looking at it.
	That's not the case.
	Yeah, dude, this is a pattern with you.
	Like, Gavin loves gold.
	You got that URL wrong.
	We had that twice.
	Remember that?
	Gavin likes gold?
	Yeah, turn off the show.
	Turn off the show.
	I get to hear my drops.
	Okay.
	Okay, what's going on?
	Bubba and Hanks?
	Didn't they bilk us out of like five grand?
	Actually, yeah.
	He died in January and then Hank totally fucked us.
	But I. Hold on one sec, dude.
	Oh, offense, but it sounds like some fucking commie fingers typed that.
	These are billionaires, right here.
	Hold on one sec, dude.
	I got so many documents open.
	I'm not trying to fuck with you.
	Well, maybe he's gay.
	You ever thought about it?
	I got so many documents open.
	How hard is it to see the last?
	The subject was sent at 6.54 p.m. today.
	Live reads.
	The subject is live reads 10.13, 2022.
	How could that be hard to find?
	I have it open.
	All on one moment.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	Everything wrong with that.
	See what I'm saying?
	Okay, let me go to items.
	See what I'm dealing with with this guy, by the way?
	He's on mute.
	I'm on mute.
	Fucking quiz!
	Like, it's.
	This is.
	Women want to Be in the workforce, all you have to do is say who generated the message.
	This is the workforce, ladies.
	It did not flub at all.
	This is what you want to be on.
	There was no fucking flub.
	I don't know how to reply.
	You're not doing a motherfucking call.
	I've ever met in my entire life, and you're not someone I want to piss off.
	How did you type it?
	It's quiet.
	Yeah, no, it's quiet.
	That's the thing.
	They're not even a company, dude.
	Like, they're going.
	Who wrote this?
	Who wrote this read?
	I write all the reads.
	Okay.
	Come on, man.
	How did you write get a $50 Bubba and Hank's gift card?
	I will bet you.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	Shut up, Janet.
	I didn't write that.
	It's a document that I sent via Microsoft Outlook.
	There's nobody haven't done any Bubba and Hanks since Bubs died in January, dude.
	So did you write this episode is brought to you by betdsi.com?
	Yes, absolutely.
	So you wrote the whole paragraph, but somehow Microsoft Outlook added get a $50 Bubba and Hanks gift card.
	Well, it's not like Microsoft is magic or anything like that, but no, I absolutely did not copy and paste that, nor have I looked at a Bubba.
	Fuck, dude, I haven't looked at a Bubba and Hanks anything in the last You know what?
	I think you work for like Antifa or something, and you were sent to give me an aneurysm.
	Well, thank you.
	I appreciate it, but no, I am certainly not.
	Dude, what's your defense here?
	That you wrote all of it, but a sentence jumped in magically?
	Dude, I did not fucking write that.
	Okay, what is in your sent messages?
	Is it the Bet DSI live read?
	It's DSI, GoldCo, and I'm not telling one.
	Let's focus on this Bet DSI.
	Rock and roll, Vider.
	What?
	I'm preparing myself to film this.
	Rock and roll.
	Who Jako?
	He's so moved.
	So this episode is brought to you by betdsi.com.
	The NFL is back.
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Betdsi.com, promo code Gavin100, right?
	First two listeners to email confirmation that they signed up and deposited at betdsi.com with promo code gavin100.
	Get a, and then did you write something else?
	Oh, Joy.
	I can read the live read to you.
	I'm more than happy to.
	Can I read the last sentence of the live read of Bet DSI?
	I just read it.
	I was in front of my computer.
	I saw that.
	Can I posit a theory?
	I'll get the Detective Shitty bumper ready and everything, but I think this is an old sponsor of ours.
	Ours, they just came back.
	So you probably copy and pasted the last time they popped up because everything stays the same.
	The promo code is the same.
	And what happened?
	Accidentally, did you copy it?
	Possibly.
	I sent you two emails with the live reads, man.
	Like, I'm not trying to fuck with you, Gavin.
	Shut up, shut up, shut up.
	So you copy and pasted from an old version is what happened.
	No, no, no, no.
	I copied and pasted the live read.
	I didn't say anything about fucking Bubba and Hanks to it.
	Dude, you copy and pasted the live read from a time when we were working with Bubba and Hanks.
	Yeah, it's a mistake.
	It's fine.
	All right.
	Well, I'm fucking retarded.
	Yeah, that's clear.
	But now I want you to understand why you're retarded.
	So, do you understand what happened at least?
	Yes, I certainly do.
	Shot fired suspects down.
	But I have no idea how Bubba and Hanks wound up in there.
	Because you copy and pasted from an old live read with Bet Dia Sai when we were working with Bubba and Hanks.
	How do you not get that?
	Everybody knows you never go full return.
	I proofread everything.
	So you proofread it, and what happened?
	Hold on, I'm coming.
	I didn't mean, nor did I put anything about Bob and Hanks in there.
	I don't know how you feed yourself and go to the bathroom.
	Do you have a woman roll you over and wash your body so you don't get bed sores?
	Do you know who Terry Shivo is?
	That is your ideal mate.
	Well, it is a very unfortunate situation.
	There's certain people where they're going to stay dumb forever because they just didn't want to own it.
	They don't, like, information doesn't go in.
	He's a great job.
	Ryan is guilty of this too.
	I'll be like, dude, you forgot the thing.
	And he's like, no, I didn't.
	It's really like, well, it's there on your desk.
	Well, I don't know.
	I don't know how that happened.
	You forgot it.
	No, I brought it, actually.
	Oh, so it jumped out of your car and got back to your desk?
	I don't know.
	Think about what you'd think about.
	I don't know, man.
	I didn't type up and hanks.
	Yeah, we know you didn't type it.
	You cut and pasted it.
	Well, I proofread it.
	So it wasn't there?
	It wasn't there when you proofread it?
	Maybe Outlook does a thing to it.
	He's got a brain, and this brain is not uncommon, where you can just go, I don't know, I'm out of here.
	Bye.
	What do you want me to do?
	Is this live footage of his brain?
	I'm in his brain.
	Live footage of his brain.
	Bye-bye.
	Bye, everybody.
	It's like this.
	I ordered this Italian food once when we lived in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and it didn't come.
	And I called the guy and I was like, dude, we've been sitting here for an hour.
	What's going on?
	And he goes, hold on, let me check.
	This is the owner of the restaurant.
	And then he goes, yep, your order's not here.
	And I go, wait a minute.
	So it never came up?
	And he goes, dude, it's not here.
	And I go, okay, so are you saying that I never ordered my food?
	And he's like, well.
	And I go, so I'm lying.
	I just called you up and I was like, hey, I ordered some food an hour ago.
	Yeah, that was supposed to be.
	Are you calling me a liar?
	And he goes, look, buddy, either you're a liar or I'm a liar.
	And I know I'm not a liar.
	It doesn't say that.
	You're a liar.
	So I hang up and I'm just like, what?
	And then I go, wait a minute.
	I know all the specials.
	So I call him back and I'm like, the specials tonight are Fettuccine Alfredo.
	And you have some beef Noki.
	and I named all the specials and I go, how do I know the specials if I hadn't called earlier?
	And then he pauses and he goes, oh, okay.
	And then he sends a bottle of wine and our fucking order three hours later.
	And I'm sorry.
	To sit there and go, look, I don't know what to tell you, dude.
	I didn't write Bubbin Hanks.
	So I don't know what you get as far as gift cards go, but I promise you, it has nothing to do with a dead steak company that fucked us over for five grand.
	Okay?
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	You notice in the Christopher Columbus Day thing, I think it was last year when the Antifa showed up to take down the statue, or at least, I don't know, throw shit on it.
	All the Italians were there from Philly, South Philly, and they were all like, they kept saying that to the Antifa guys.
	They're like, aren't you embarrassed?
	Really?
	I don't know if they got it from Maniscalco or it was just the local vernacular.
	It's a good question because the guy was on a bicycle.
	Oh, that reminds me of my talk.
	Yeah, Pesobic was tweeting it out.
	So the panic about me going to Penn State, the real panic is I deperson.
	Yeah, that's the guy.
	Nice timing, Ryan.
	Thanks.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Oh, shit.
	I'm giving you my business card, sir, if there's a problem.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Are you embarrassed?
	You're embarrassed.
	You're an embarrassment.
	You're an embarrassment.
	So what do you think about how Christopher Columbus is?
	What do you think about how Christopher Columbus cards are?
	They were fucking savages back then.
	This guy just hit me in the card.
	They weren't savages.
	Sir, can I have my bike back?
	Sir, let me have my bike back.
	What kind of world are we in where you go up to some old fucking Italians with your bicycle and they have bats and you're like, sir, I can give him my business card?
	How do we end up here?
	Yeah, there's a compute.
	Like, if a fucking gang of bikers are wrong and they're worshiping, I don't know, Hitler, there we go.
	Hello?
	The idea of like, yes, how do you feel about the fact that Hitler murdered six million Jews?
	Is that funny to you?
	No.
	Don't fucking know.
	You're not going to win that battle.
	What do you think they're going to do?
	Go, touche.
	Yeah.
	Well, you got a point.
	You know what?
	Take it down.
	Take down that statue.
	That guy in the bicycle with a business guard just nailed us.
	It's people who have been.
	Turn around and walk away.
	People who have not been punched.
	It's fucking pathetic.
	Speaking of people.
	Find something better else to do with their fucking time.
	Worry about a guy that came around and punched in the face would be the best thing for your life.
	Yeah.
	Most guys have never been punched in the face, but.
	Speaking of punch in the face, I'm doing this talk at Penn State.
	Everyone's freaking out.
	The lefties are freaking out.
	They're not freaking out about the other comedy tour.
	I don't quite know why.
	I think it's because Penn State is a university, and the fact that I'm talking there is legitimizing my existence, and that's their biggest nightmare.
	I think mostly because they'd like to be invited to Penn State.
	And then the staff is freaking out because they know my speech is going to be about how incompetent they are and how you see them as professors because they have a briefcase and they're smart.
	But I'm their age, and I remember these guys from high school.
	And they were the guys that were picked on.
	And this is all revenge.
	You're living in a revenge cult where they get to be the boss.
	And these people are morons.
	And that scares them because I'm threatening their trade.
	But one of the big takeaways is when Gavin did a talk at the Metropolitan Club, there was violence.
	Well, yeah, there was violence because Antifa kept jumping people.
	And they go, two men went to jail.
	Yeah, because we live in a clown world.
	The guys who went to jail beat up dudes who jumped them.
	And they go, they attacked protesters.
	Yeah, I guess.
	If protesters jump you and then you win the fight, are you attacking protesters?
	I don't know.
	Someone, I attacked this person.
	I shot him.
	What were they doing?
	Oh, it was a home invasion.
	They came into my house, so I blew them away with a shotgun.
	Oh, okay.
	No one says you attacked a home invader.
	And that's what these people were.
	They were talk invaders.
	So yeah, there was violence.
	It was towards us.
	We had a mob attack us at NYU.
	They pepper sprayed me.
	They jumped.
	About fucking, I'm going to say 50 people jumped the 10 guys I was with.
	The 10 guys won.
	Ryan went to jail.
	Yep, I won separately.
	10 Antifa went to jail.
	Two Proud Boys went to jail.
	The rest just weren't charged, got away with it.
	And it was 10 against 50.
	Is that violence?
	Is that me bringing my violent thugs to attack protesters?
	The protesters aren't sitting there going, hey, we disagree.
	They're like fucking Nazi, throwing bottles of piss.
	Minor detail you left out.
	And John and Max got fucking four years for a 17-second fight for winning a 17-second fight that they did not start.
	Is that relevant?
	What's that?
	Say that again?
	Is it a comedy show or a speaking engagement?
	It's both.
	Both.
	It'll be comical.
	Yeah, listen to the on the radio.
	Oh, yeah, we got that on the site there.
	Your radio spot.
	It's cool hearing you on the radio.
	That's fucking cool.
	Does that get broadcast on stations in Jim?
	I think they're syndicated in a few stations, but I think they're all Pennsylvania.
	I don't know.
	That's awesome.
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	I'm against melatonin for kids, by the way.
	I don't like these Aussie sleep things for kids.
	It's not healthy.
	But for adults, it's fucking awesome.
	Oh, the Ollie vitamins, the chew?
	Yeah, I don't like those Ollies.
	That's not cool.
	And there have been studies that they're bad for kids.
	But, you know, we're adults.
	We get stressed out.
	We have to deal with people who promote dead state companies that owe us five grand.
	I advertise dead people.
	What?
	I advertise dead people.
	It's a six cents.
	No, God bless them.
	But bad business.
	No, not God bless, you moron.
	Well, yes, you're such a woman sometimes.
	Life and death.
	I mean, you got to God bless that.
	Oh, you're God blessing the dead guy?
	Yes.
	Oh, okay.
	I thought you were God blessing the moron who fucked up this first reason.
	No, no, God not bless that guy.
	But yeah, we're stressed out.
	We're adults.
	We got a lot on our plate.
	Our buddy Maddie just had a steel umbrella stuck in his fucking heart.
	We worry about our friends.
	You wake up at four with the horrors, with the terrors.
	The horrors.
	And when you take these, it's just fucking going to the movies all night long.
	Or a Delta 8 THC Halo Gummy, now available in cotton candy flavor, to experience a euphoric high and premium relaxation.
	They also offer sample packs of all of their gummies.
	That's a good idea to start with.
	See which one you like best.
	They're good, too.
	Yeah, I know.
	I was just about to say, they should make them less good.
	Oh, you've tried them.
	Oh, yeah.
	I have them right here.
	I have the rackouts on my nightstand.
	Oh, really?
	Oh, yeah.
	Interesting.
	You can't just eat one.
	So, like, you'll be easy to overdose.
	I did the mistake of taking two of the Delta 8s the first time.
	Woo!
	Not a good.
	No bueno.
	When I got up to take a piss in the middle of the night, I was holding on to the wall.
	I woke up in the morning, I was still like, all right.
	Don't take two at once.
	No.
	Nibble.
	You know what I do with these things?
	I don't ever take a full gummy.
	I bite, I micro-dose.
	I take a little tiny bite.
	Then if it's not working, I might take another bite, but that would be like two hours later.
	You'll meet guys that you know in high school, it was shrooms or acid or something, and they're like, didn't work on me.
	Didn't work.
	And you're like, it's got to process through your liver when you eat it.
	Yeah.
	And then you see the guy like an hour later, and he's like, dude, we're going to die.
	And you're like, what's going on?
	Did you have more?
	He goes, yeah, I had three.
	What?
	I told you to wait.
	It wasn't working on me.
	Well, it sure is now.
	You fixed your problem.
	Bye-bye.
	Home to mommy.
	Home to mommy.
	She probably likes me.
	A different galaxy, frankly, or in a different way.
	I always said, if people are bad tripping, sorry, you've got to go.
	Yeah, but you don't have to go home, but you've got to go upstairs to my sister's bedroom or something.
	You can go sit there.
	You've got to wait out your bummer, fucking bad trips.
	You've got to ride that wave.
	Bad trips are contagious.
	Get the hell out of here, brown people.
	Brown acid people.
	Yeah, exactly.
	But the secret to a bad trip, by the way, I haven't done drugs in many years, but the secret to a bad trip is to go, I'm not dying.
	This is not stage four cancer.
	This is just a very, very heavy, shitty trip, and it will not last forever.
	People clean out the sewers.
	People are in war zones.
	Six hours, I just got to sit here.
	Imagine you're waiting for a bus, and there's no other way to get home, and the next bus is in six hours.
	You got to sit at the bus station and have a shitty time.
	You'll make it.
	You'll make it.
	Somebody on Rogan said you have to be, it's like you're a warrior.
	You have to battle through it.
	And I was like, that really helped.
	Yeah.
	I don't know if you can save a bad trip.
	I don't know.
	I think I've saved one.
	I haven't tripped in a long time.
	No.
	I don't know if I did anything to save it or if it just kind of went away.
	I remember the biggest problem with bad trips was you read about that dude who did acid once, and then he was on acid for the rest of his life, and you're like, I'm one of those.
	He thought he was a glass of orange juice or something.
	You heard that one?
	Yeah.
	Well, I knew a dude who was a banana for a year and a half.
	Not a banana for a year and a half, but he was a lot of shit for a year and a half.
	But then I found out later he did like a sheet.
	He was a lot of shit for a year and a half.
	He did like this many tabs.
	Yeah, 100 hits in a bladder.
	So, yeah.
	He was on the bus.
	He said, I interviewed him for Vice back when we were newsprint.
	And he would like wake up and his face was melting.
	He had, his mom would like bring him soup.
	He would eat like once a day, a few spoonfuls.
	He'd lost like 80 pounds.
	Wow.
	He would sleep on a bare mattress with no sheets or anything.
	And he'd get on the bus and like everything was an episode of Gumball, the cartoon.
	Jesus.
	Like the bus was made of fucking balsa wood.
	People were bleeding to death on the bus.
	One of the guys was a fellow banana.
	And then he got better.
	It's quiet.
	Yeah, no, it's nice.
	Then there was another dude.
	I ever told this story?
	It's a long one, but I met my friend Rupert Bottenberg, I think was his name.
	He's a cartoonist in Montreal.
	And we go there, and everyone's really uncomfortable.
	And I'm fucking a bull in a china shop my entire life.
	And I walk up, I'm like, what's up?
	No, what's up, faggots?
	And there's this one guy, like, he's super tall.
	He's like 6'2 ⁇ .
	And he's grown out.
	Take a quarter right here and just grow that.
	Ew.
	Then he had it braided with beads on it.
	So he's got this weird like rat tail from the very top of his head grown out to here with beads on.
	And I'm like, dude, what the fuck is with your hair?
	I mean, rat tails are one thing, but you've got a beaded rat tail at the top of your head?
	Do you think he was a monk or something?
	What are you thinking?
	And he goes, oh yeah, check this out.
	And then he starts going.
	And then it becomes like a propeller on the top of his head.
	That's the point of it, I guess.
	And I go, dude, you seem like one of these fucking weirdos that took acid once, and then you were permanently on acid.
	And then everyone looks at me and going, what the fuck?
	And I go, this is a bad vibe here.
	Everyone's so uncomfortable.
	I go piss.
	Aren't you all always, the apartments all have stairs in them?
	I go, it's very long and skinny and tall, right?
	I go piss, and there's a woman on the stairs who I guess is my age now.
	She's probably, no, actually younger.
	She's maybe like 40.
	He was 20.
	And I realized, holy fuck, he is that guy.
	Actually, it was explained to me later.
	The mom brought him there to hang out with his friends to see if it might sort of trigger some normalcy and get him to stop being a banana for a while.
	Wow.
	And so she's, I think she heard what I said in the living room and she's mortified.
	She's just like, but I'm talking to you.
	Anyway, not a great way to advertise shell shock CBD.
	None of that will happen with this.
	We're going on a very, very far tangent with a drug called LSD, where this guy probably did the equivalent of what we've done in our.
	Yeah, might get the munchies.
	Oh, Jordan Peterson is here.
	Yeah, that's about it.
	Maybe, you know, in the middle of your night, you'll be like watching cartoons or playing video games.
	You're like, oh, boy, I'm hungry.
	So maybe that'll happen.
	But that's about it.
	Yeah, if you're scared of getting too high, don't take the ones with THC.
	When you try their products and love them, be sure to sign up for a subscription to receive 10% off your order every month and to ensure you're never without your favorite products.
	Don't miss out on their limited Halloween edition booberry-flavored CBD bomb drops.
	Shell Shock products are 100% grown, harvested, and manufactured right here in America.
	All products are also third-party tested to ensure optimal quality is always achieved and transparency is always given.
	Go to Shell Shock CBD, spelled like that, cbd.com slash Gavin and use codes Gavin or G-O-M-L for 20% off your first order.
	Follow them on Instagram at Shell Shock Wellness or go to Bubbaandhanks.com for a free sample pack of Shell Shock.
	See, how did that happen?
	Because they were never together.
	Surprised me in the least.
	Wait.
	So this guy who does our ad sales, I was like, just fire him, dude.
	He's got to go.
	Fucking Gavin loves gold like three times in a row.
	But let me just see.
	Because the guy that I know who hired him was like, don't worry, man.
	He's back on track.
	Well, he's a friend of mine.
	I mean, I've known him for years.
	Through us.
	No, a little bit before that from Compound.
	Hey, man.
	Yeah, I'm doing the show, but I'm just hanging out, talking to people.
	Oh, shit.
	That was weird.
	Did you just get forwarded to a voicemail during your call?
	Uh.
	Did he pay you the 5K?
	Because last time I asked him about the money he owed, he was like, yeah, yeah, he's mailing us a check.
	It's going to be here in like two weeks.
	But is he walking?
	Yeah, it's been.
	Oh, hi.
	It'll be here in a fortnight, son.
	Oh, my God.
	Wait a minute.
	The next one is Gold Coat.
	That's Gavin Loves Gold, right?
	Let's see.
	No, no.
	Pull up Gavin Loves Gold.
	I proofread them.
	He's got that Chicago accent, which Howard Stern has been doing of late.
	What did you type in to get that?
	Gavin Loves Gold.
	He's got Gavin Likes Gold.
	Wait, I think that's the one that originally worked.
	I think they bought both.
	No, go look up Gavin Likes Gold.
	It's one of the baby monsters who made a fake.
	That's the one, right?
	Yeah.
	Oh, boy.
	I got to fucking...
	This is amazing.
	Amazing.
	Fucking EJ.
	Okay.
	This is the third week in a row.
	Dude, have you seen the Goldco copy?
	Yes, I sent you two emails.
	Yes.
	What do you mean you sent me two emails?
	I email you every Thursday.
	Okay.
	So, go look at the Goldco copy.
	Alright.
	Hold on a moment, please.
	I got time.
	If I catch any of you fuckers along.
	Hey, there's Ryan.
	Turn off the show.
	Okay.
	He's feeding back.
	No problem.
	I also don't want him to hear me talking shit about him.
	What is the issue now?
	Please.
	Please go to the Goldco.
	Why are you talking like an air traffic controller?
	Because that's going to be a bumpy advertisement.
	I'm trying to be very polite.
	I'm celebrating five years of being open as a business today.
	Yeah, just.
	All right, so what do you want me to look at?
	In the Goldco?
	Yeah.
	Look at the URL.
	Congratulations.
	We bought both URLs.
	Oh, you did?
	Yeah, we made sure that just in case someone made an error, if it's likes or love.
	Oh, that's smart.
	That's smart.
	Yeah, no.
	You're no dummy.
	So go to gavinlikesgold.com.
	Okay.
	I love them.
	Please.
	Copy.
	Fuck.
	I got the bears on in the background, so if you hear some fox and shit, that's my concern.
	That's my top concern is swears in the background.
	Not the most Nazi cartoon in the world.
	I was going to say that does look a little Hitler propaganda-y.
	Yeah.
	Why did you do that?
	I took them like 12 images of you.
	I did not create this image.
	That I can also back up.
	Buddy, they didn't make that website.
	This is someone fucking with us who bought the URL.
	That is an anti-Semitic trope to make us look bad.
	And I got to admit, it's pretty funny as a diss, but it is an effective fuck you to me.
	Yeah, but I'd never tell you to fuck you.
	That's not my MO, buddy.
	Like, we're effortless.
	I enjoy working with you and Tony and Ryan.
	Does he not understand that at all?
	How do you not understand what's going on here?
	Someone else owns Gavin likes gold.
	Like, just think of, first of all, forget like the cartoon.
	Think of that as a swastika, okay?
	That's what it is.
	So someone has made a swastika site with one of our sponsors because we were stupid, you were stupid, and put Gavin likes gold instead of Gavin loves gold.
	So they thought, this is an opportunity for comedy.
	I'm going to buy Gavin likes gold and make it racist.
	Not because of the guy's racist, because he's funny.
	But it's bad.
	The gentleman that owns the country is a really nice guy, man.
	Like, he would not...
	I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
	We got Gavin likes gold and Gavin loves gold.
	So I'll fix the graphic for you.
	That's not a problem.
	He has no comprehension of that.
	So the graphic is just like an unfortunate mistake.
	You don't think it's like on purpose?
	Gavin, we've done too much work together.
	We ever sacrifice.
	And it just, come on, man.
	I've had the privilege of growing up in a traditional...
	I'd never do that to you.
	Now I'm convinced that you're a genius.
	Oh, thank you.
	Come on, nah, dog.
	Now I'm going from a frown to a smile, so I don't mind being insulted ever.
	No, you're pretty good.
	You're pretty good.
	Touche.
	You're fired.
	By the way, you're fired.
	But if this was a prank, you did a fucking pretty good job.
	Anyway, goodbye.
	How did he try to turn around and play the victim there?
	It's got to be a prank.
	This is next level prank.
	Because we have received tens of thousands of dollars from him.
	So I'm at like 50-50.
	The guy is either so retarded, I can't believe he knows how to wipe his own ass.
	Or he is like next level Kaufman, outdid me a hundred times, and he got a job at a place and became so shitty that he like, but the weird thing is, like, shell shock, everything's fine.
	So that's part of it, I guess.
	Like, you let real shit go.
	Yeah, that's the setup.
	The setup's never funny.
	But then you, like, throw Bubba and Hanks in there, just little things.
	Like, a great prank is I heard, I can't remember who this was, some celebrity.
	It might have even been, and I'm sad to admit this, but George Clooney, I heard he, like, he was on a movie set, and he would take his co-star's shoes, Matt Damon or something, and he would, he would buy the same shoes, but like half a size smaller every day.
	So Matt Damon was going nuts because he's like, what the fuck is with my feet?
	They keep growing.
	That's the level of joke this is, if it's a joke.
	Where you get the Bubbin Hanks gift card, and then you say, no, no, no, we bought Gavin likes gold.
	It's cool.
	It's not a joke.
	Dude, it's an anti-Semitic trope dressed as me.
	Look, if you don't like the graphic, I can change the graphic.
	Yeah, I don't like the graphic.
	Nobody likes the graphic, but Nazis.
	Gavin dislikesgraphic.com.
	Okay, you don't want a swastika now, I know.
	But he keeps sending the wrong one.
	What?
	It's Gavin loves gold.
	Right.
	And he keeps sending you on the read, Gavin likes gold.
	Yes.
	Homeboy is going to be easy.
	But he thinks that's fine because Gavin loves gold, which is this, and Gavin likes gold, are both owned by us.
	Yes.
	And I don't know why he would do that.
	He'd send them images, plenty of images.
	But don't do anything.
	But don't, that's another.
	Okay, there's two, we'll call him dude.
	There's two dudes here.
	There's the guy who's pranking us, who deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.
	That's so fucking sad.
	And I'm very impressed with you, by the way.
	I'd like to hire you again.
	You're now unfired.
	Stop pranking me, though.
	That's one of the criteria at your new job is all pranks have to be away from here.
	With respect to the company.
	So that's one dude.
	We'll call him Dude A. Dude B is the stupidest person I've ever worked with in my life.
	Now, dude B was told by my baby monster, don't worry, man, I have Gavin likes gold.
	And by the way, that guy's funny too, if it is dude B. So he goes, he's like, okay, okay, look, the bears are on, but look, Gavin loves gold.
	So the site, can you just redirect it there?
	And then I bet this dude goes, sure, just send me some graphics.
	And he's like, oh, okay.
	I guess that's for the splash page.
	So he sends the guy pictures of me.
	And then the guy is like, fuck you.
	I'm not doing those.
	And then he makes the fucking Nazi trope.
	But it still doesn't excuse it.
	Change it on the fucking paper from Gavin likes gold where it's supposed to be.
	Yes.
	Like, that's the point.
	No, no.
	That's the point.
	Sort of.
	Yes, that's a good point.
	But if, in all good faith, our guys own Gavin likes gold, then it doesn't matter.
	You don't have to fix the typo.
	Because Gavin likes gold is going to have a fun graphic of me going, sorry, wrong one.
	And then direct you to Gavin Loves Gold.
	So, yeah.
	You know, I googled this dude because the first time I met him, he was so annoying.
	I thought, this guy's a genius and he's a prankster.
	And I looked up his company and they had one client who was some real estate woman who, like, it fucking, what's the one with the hot air balloon?
	Is that Flow or Progressive?
	No.
	Oops.
	No, real estate shit for brands.
	Something Max.
	Yeah, whatever it was, right?
	It wasn't that.
	It's just something like that.
	And she's like, I had a great time working with these guys.
	They're really good.
	Century.
	Whatever.
	And that's different.
	That's not the hot air balloons.
	And I thought, okay, you have one client, huh?
	I would rather have, say this guy is dude B and he's just incompetent.
	I would rather just from my own wallet promote, I don't know, brands I like, like Budweiser and Makersmark, and receive no money than have to deal with this motherfucker's bullshit ever again.
	They are retarded, he's fired in some ways.
	They're genius, he's 100% fired.
	No, this is why are you such a pussy?
	Because there's so much fun here.
	Yeah, it's so much fun.
	Hey, man.
	Did you get oh, wait, you're on the air?
	Let me get you off the air.
	Did you get the check for $5,000?
	$10?
	Okay.
	He is fired.
	He's either the greatest prankster in the world, and that's kudos to him, but we finally caught on five months in, or he's the most incompetent Cro-Magnon man ever born.
	Either way, we don't want him around.
	So I'm happy to pay out of my fucking salary the money we lose for not having sponsors, but I'm not working with this fucking clown ever again.
	I don't want to know his life.
	I don't, if he gets, if fucking a drone strikes his house, I don't want to hear about it.
	I don't fucking care.
	Agreed?
	All right.
	Bye.
	I can tell.
	Mother Nature's hella pissed.
	He's like, agreed, man.
	Agreed.
	I got to start.
	I can't tell you how many times my wife and I have been like, we got to start smoking pot.
	New Year's resolution.
	Get back.
	I asked her brother, I was once, because he's a fucking raging pothead.
	I was like, how much pot do you smoke, bro?
	And he's like, I try to smoke once a day.
	And I'm like, it's not working out.
	I have my days where I fuck up and I don't smoke weed.
	But I try to get in once a day.
	Once a day.
	I want to get back to it.
	I don't know.
	Weed?
	Yeah.
	I want to get back into weed.
	I thought about that too.
	Fall is the perfect season.
	Yeah.
	Fall is the perfect season for that.
	Yeah, the giggles.
	It's great for your marriage.
	The constant giggling.
	I could totally picture that.
	We just sit there, we watch a movie, and now it's like exciting again.
	Yeah.
	Like laughing your fucking face off with your wife.
	That's the best marriage therapy anyone can have.
	So we've kind of done this gold co-read.
	This may be the last of our sponsors forever.
	But my fellow Americans, if you have an IRA 401k or savings account, things are getting scary out there.
	The Biden administration has already printed more.
	Of course you're fired for allowing for an anti-Semitic trope to be one of your sponsor's websites.
	Like, duh.
	If you're not fired for that, what the fuck are you, if you're not fired for this, what the fuck are you fired for?
	This is worse than sleeping in.
	This is like as bad as it gets.
	Like, who said, yep, that's good.
	Let's put this.
	What you're doing?
	He didn't check.
	He didn't check.
	And he sent it as a read.
	And then the read is fucking Shylock Jew of our clients.
	Like, dude, you couldn't be a better saboteur.
	And by the way, if you're an ad sales dude and people assume that you're a brilliant saboteur, you probably suck.
	You're probably really bad at your job.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	But anyway, thank you, Goldcoat, for sponsoring the site.
	I'm sorry that you've had to suffer through this incompetence.
	I mean, this ad's free, by the way.
	I'm not charging you for this one.
	But the Biden administration has already printed more money in the past two years than the previous 100 years combined.
	National debt just hit a record $30 trillion, and inflation is the highest we've seen since 1982.
	It's only a matter of time before the House of Cards comes crashing down.
	If you have retirement savings, your money could be at serious risk.
	Talk to my friends at Goldco to see how you can protect your retirement with gold and silver before it's too late.
	Go to gavinlovesgold.com, and they will give you up to $10,000 in free silver when you open an account.
	That's GavinLovesGold.
	I think you'll know if you got the right page.
	You might know the difference.
	If there's swastikas on the site, probably not for you or 99.9% of the population.
	If there's a nice graphic with silver and that stuff and in God We Trust, yeah, you're probably at the right fucking place.
	If there's one guy around that I could laugh at their incompetence, that makes me so happy to think of it.
	You're Steve Bannon compared to him.
	That's why I want him to stay so bad.
	Not only do I like the guy, it's entertaining.
	Sorry.
	You never know what you're going to get.
	Sorry.
	Worst case scenario, things go smoothly.
	Dude, if that guy is like a Kartnark genius, then I want to meet him.
	Let's make a list of all the things he said.
	The bears are on the background.
	He's got the show playing.
	We could hear the echoing of the last drop we just did.
	Yeah, dude.
	And then the bears on.
	That guy's a fucking.
	I'm trying to keep my temper down because it is our five-year anniversary today.
	You're right.
	This is a scary Perry Kartnerick fucking dude.
	Now, in my defense, I was not in charge of sponsorships.
	I gave that to someone else at the company.
	I was like, look, I'll do reads.
	You find it.
	I'm not a sales guy.
	I suck at that.
	He's like, don't worry, I got it.
	So the guy who I just called, dude, you're in trouble too, because you allowed for this unbelievable incompetence.
	Wait, how long has that fucking Shylock graphic been up?
	A couple weeks.
	Couple weeks.
	Before I was in the hospital, it was up.
	And it never changed on the read.
	It was always Gavin likes gold.
	So we're directed to that.
	Well, yeah, but we caught that, and we would say Gavin loves gold.
	Right.
	And then I would get mad when I saw Gavin likes gold was still in the piece of paper.
	How you remember is, I love gold from gold member.
	But even that became a little tricky.
	You shouldn't have to remember.
	It should just be the right URL.
	This is the problem with being a prankster.
	Like, I love dishing it out.
	Not a big fan of taking it.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	I'm a hypocrite.
	I want to hit shit with my golf club.
	I don't want my shit hit with a golf club.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	With tears in your eyes.
	It was a joke.
	I was here.
	It's a joke.
	Dude, I just watched when Sal, no, Vito, fell in love with that dude with Johnny Cakes.
	I showed it to Anthony and he's like, this is the gayest thing that has ever been on TV, including rent.
	No, you haven't seen Dahmer.
	Dahmer is pretty gay.
	No, but have you seen the Johnny Cakes episode?
	Of course.
	Vito falls in love with this fucking guy who works at a diner with a handlebar mustache.
	And then he sees a fire and the dude shows up on a Harley to fight the fire in his fire gear.
	And then he puts on the fire hat.
	He saves like a kid.
	And Vito's just sitting there with the boner.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, boy.
	It's so over the top, gay.
	It's so over the top, gay, I couldn't even tell if it was Vito's fantasy or if this was really happening.
	Because you don't see a lot of firemen show up on fucking Harley's.
	I love you, Johnny Cakes.
	Now we're going to get sucked in, but let's try not to.
	It's good.
	First time here, try the Johnny Cakes.
	Next time I'm at a diner and someone says, first time here, try the Johnny Cakes.
	I'm going to say, fuck you, faggot.
	Let me guess.
	Your Harley's outside.
	You're looking at my cock, you fucking homo.
	No, we sell Johnny cakes.
	So he's a fireman and works as a short-order cook in a diner?
	Yeah, firemen make pretty good money.
	And we know you're not paying for a divorce because you're gay.
	Yeah, look at him pouring those eggs onto us.
	Like, even a straight guy wouldn't get that horny for any sort of shape of checkpoint.
	Oh, I'd have a boner right now.
	He looks like Terry Richardson.
	I had a boner for him.
	Terry.
	I just told a Terry joke to my kid this morning.
	Well, maybe he's gay.
	You ever thought of that?
	If you're American when you're outside of the bathroom, what are you when you're inside of the bathroom?
	European.
	That's right.
	European.
	Wait, go back to the Harley scene.
	Did we pass it?
	Yeah, you did.
	The clapping was him rescuing the baby.
	There he is.
	He shows up with his gear on.
	Nice.
	Isn't it funny the difference that we are with women and gays?
	Like, we want women in lingerie alone at home.
	Like, they just go to the bath or something.
	and they're just lying there being zombies.
	And men and girls, I mean gays and girls are like, He needs props.
	Yeah, he has to do all this shit.
	Our sexual desires are just like, don't do shit.
	Don't read a book.
	It's either a sexual fantasy or a Joe Tonelli story.
	Literally the same life.
	Oh, my God.
	Maybe he got this from this.
	He's like, you guys should try.
	We know if Joe ever says, like, you guys ever tried Johnny Cakes?
	Oh, Jesus.
	This is Vito's inner monologue.
	I'll eat your ass.
	Oh, he's sitting there tapping his hand.
	I looked up today, by the way, I looked up a bunch of shit where corporations had to pay a billion dollars because that was Alex Jones' fine for probably $960 billion or something.
	Probably being incorrect about Sandy Hook.
	Probably calling bullshit on something that was probably not bullshit.
	What should the fine for that be?
	The fine for that should be $0.
	You're setting a hell of a precedent here.
	How many times have we all been wrong about shit?
	It's now a billion-dollar fine for being wrong?
	What?
	Joe Biden must be fucking fined eight training.
	I met the chick from the Game of Thrones who was a Targaryen.
	Targaryen.
	The chick, the blonde who ran the dragons.
	I saw her in that movie Han Solo, and I was like, that's the most beautiful woman that's ever been created.
	Did you see her in?
	I think it's called Han.
	It's Solo, I think it's called, right?
	Solo.
	Maybe it's Solo.
	What the fuck's your name?
	Super Gorgeous Pants?
	I believe that's the first time I've been talking about it.
	After that thing, if you go to bubbaandhanks.com.
	Promo code Gary.
	Nielsie Gold.
	Promo code Shylock.
	Gavin likes Shylock.
	You'll see who I'm talking about.
	No, look up.
	It's probably in the trailer for a solo.
	I'm looking it up here.
	Amelia Clark.
	Amelia Clark.
	So find the solo thing.
	She's as hot as that.
	I didn't mean to shut you out.
	Kimbra?
	Kimbra.
	She's as hot as Kimbra in that movie.
	What the fuck?
	I was like, okay, well, I'm killing my wife and I'm stalking her.
	I'm going to pretend that I still own vice and I want to do a cover story.
	I googled it.
	It says that you were long gone.
	Yeah, that's a ruse.
	It's a fucking joke.
	It's a joke.
	My mouse died, so this is as good as a mouse died.
	Yeah.
	It's not even clicking anymore.
	What the fuck?
	Because it's out of batteries?
	No, it would have told me low battery.
	I'm just clicking around helplessly.
	All right.
	Well, this does not make for great television.
	Well, there she is.
	I can't remember the last time I watched Tucker and heard a guy going, Tucker, my mouse broke.
	The Martina Markota light is now on the screen.
	Click on an all-Amelia Clark scenes on solo.
	Get another mouse.
	Go get my mouse from my office.
	This is my other computer.
	Okay, so find all Amelia Clark scenes.
	Alright, I wish I was that guy in the vest.
	Can't really see what's going on.
	What are we going solo?
	Yeah.
	Can't really see anything.
	Play dark movie, literally.
	Can't see it.
	maybe that's why I thought she was so hot in this.
	I couldn't fucking see her.
	It's worth at least 800 credits, maybe more.
	There we go.
	That's a perfect 10, right?
	No.
	I gotta see the body.
	You what?
	I gotta see her body.
	I think it's pretty reasonable.
	You can tell she's not a fan.
	Oh, yeah, definitely.
	What do you think about this?
	There can be eights that you feel a four-level attraction to.
	Oh, yeah.
	Lady Gaga.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Lady Gaga, Katy Perry.
	Both eights.
	My dick is not interested.
	I feel a three for her.
	Really?
	Yes.
	Well, that's because you've seen the thing we're about to show, which we've discussed many times.
	But I'm using it as an example.
	So I said, she's a 10.
	She's perfect.
	Kill your wife and kids on Christmas Day just for the courtesy of kissing one of her butt cheeks.
	Nice.
	Then she did a song.
	With those shoes.
	With those shoes.
	She's got a million dollars now because of that?
	That's with her pants.
	I know.
	She looks dumpy there.
	She's got no bra on.
	She looks like a friend's little sister.
	I hate how the Coldplay guy said it's racist if you do a Jamaican accent, but you can have the tonation.
	Why is it racist to do a Jamaican accent?
	What?
	Why is it racist to do a Jamaican?
	It's not my rules.
	Just the thing.
	She reminds me of my friend John's little sister who would come around when we're all high and just be weird.
	Like that doesn't give anyone any context.
	That puts her in the four zone for me.
	She looks like a fucking 40, a hot 48-year-old.
	Yeah, what's happening there?
	They're very scary and...
	Blech.
	Call me the nearest, I get it.
	Call me the nearest.
	Can I just watch Kitty Porn instead?
	That would be an upgrade.
	So anyway, I was wrong about that woman's sex appeal.
	I have to pay $0.
	That's the way it should be.
	Alex, $964 million.
	And I saw, I was looking at things today.
	Count Dankula was coming up with the different things people had to pay that fine for.
	It's always a corporation that's massive.
	A multi-billion dollar corporation.
	And it's always for like a gas spill that killed 15,000 people or a pharmaceutical company lying about the drug and getting people hooked on OxyContin or whatever.
	What's this?
	What are you showing, Ryan?
	This is the...
	This is her.
	Look at the little hand.
	Looks like a dark crystal puppet.
	That's not the same girl.
	No, but this is the same energy.
	This is Jewish rap.
	Stop that.
	It's LA Jew rap.
	This is GavinLikesGold.com.
	If you go to Gavin LikesGold right now, dude, I'll never know, by the way, I will never know if that guy was just a genius prankster.
	We have to have a vote to see if he comes back.
	Was he Cartnark?
	I saw a good Cartnark the other day.
	Uh-oh.
	He was on Rollerblades, and you could tell by the video that he was on blades.
	And some black dude was going to murder him.
	He's like, oh, this guy's getting real violent.
	This lazy bones.
	In the video, I don't know if you can pull this up, but he has a new magnet that he sticks on cards.
	By the way, folks at home, if you don't know what I'm talking about, Cartnark is a gentleman who volunteers to go to various stores and antagonize people who don't put their card away.
	Yeah, this is the one.
	And if they don't put their card away, he puts a magnet on their card that calls them lazy bones.
	But he has a new one for people who advocate for this behavior, and he calls them lazy bone allies.
	There's no reason to do this.
	He doesn't make a penny.
	He risks his life on a daily basis.
	Turn it up.
	Turn it up.
	Take it off my car, sir.
	You know why I did it?
	Sir.
	Sir?
	Take it off my car.
	You know what they call those magnets?
	Magnet cardas.
	I just made that up.
	Please, you left your cart block in the handicaps button.
	I'm made a cart.
	It's fine.
	They got people who do that.
	Yeah, where are they?
	They're here right now?
	You know them?
	You're coming right out, sir.
	Oh, I don't say.
	Because that's funny.
	I don't see them.
	See, you know where the cars go, right?
	That car returned right behind you.
	I got a crushed bone in my foot, too, okay?
	Does it look like I'm in very clear?
	I got a forced car in my foot, too, okay?
	This isn't insane, sir.
	It's life and death for the carts.
	Sir, I like your chains, by the way.
	Now, if you had a chime, you can see it.
	I like your chains, by the way.
	Yeah, did he make his voice more grating?
	He sounds like that dude, that hacker guy who pretends to be an old lady and catches Indian hackers and exposes them.
	Oh, yeah, with that.
	You know that guy?
	He's got some filter on his computer that's like, I'm just trying to help out.
	That guy rules too.
	Everybody, get out of your car and litter.
	You couldn't have taken the car where it belongs, sir.
	That guy just got out of jail.
	As I am, I worked by you.
	12 years for murder.
	I can't let people treat me like shit.
	Just go on, man.
	Hey, man, you need to get these guys out your parking lot, man.
	With this, you need to get these guys off the parking lot, man.
	I got one more for you.
	You need to get these guys off your parking lot, man.
	You need to get these guys off the parking lot.
	Oh, he's trying to talk to the security.
	You hear me?
	You need to get him out your parking lot, man.
	Over here putting shit on people's cars.
	You need to talk to these fellas.
	He's leaving his carts in the handicap.
	What's my problem going to?
	I'm going to snap the shit out of you.
	But I'm an old man.
	I don't give a fuck.
	Oh, I get it.
	He's not on rollerblades.
	He's on a walker.
	And he's disguised himself as an old man.
	Wow.
	Yeah, that's why you see A cardigan when he puts his hand out.
	Wow.
	That's great.
	See, this is who our ad sales guy is.
	It might be the same dude.
	I've never seen Cardigan has been running our podcast sponsor.
	No.
	He's been told to turn around and tried to beat him up and fell chasing him.
	I'm older than you.
	Don't be putting that shit in my car.
	You're literally so much.
	You know what?
	I'm going to give you one of the big ones this time.
	I don't think you would.
	I got my walker in the way.
	You better take your ass off.
	No.
	Will you take your car back there?
	You better go.
	You were sure I walked in good for that broken bone.
	Hey.
	You better take your ass somewhere, man.
	Look, I got.
	Hey.
	You better take your ass somewhere.
	It's not a joke.
	It's not a joke, man.
	It's about what you think.
	Made in America.
	I got two words.
	Made in America.
	I got hairy legs and a broken foot.
	Come on, man.
	Look.
	There's one word that sums up America.
	Look.
	You know the thing.
	We got it.
	Look, man.
	Come on, man.
	Look.
	There's two.
	I did everything I said I was going to run on when I run on.
	Please just take me out of here.
	I want to play golf.
	I don't know why I fucking ran for president.
	Wouldn't that be awesome at a press conference?
	I don't know why the fuck I ran for president.
	Sure, you should do it.
	I'm really sorry.
	Right now.
	I don't like this.
	I have not understood one thing any of you have said.
	I didn't know one thing I signed.
	The speeches are just gobbledygook.
	They might as well be Chinese.
	I can barely get through them.
	I love golf.
	I love my place in Delaware.
	I really enjoy the show Matlock.
	I like modern shows too.
	I love this comedian, Jim Carey.
	Have you seen Cable Guy?
	Hilarious.
	Cable Guy.
	So without further to-do, I would like to say I am officially resigning as president.
	I haven't told anyone this, by the way.
	They think I'm doing a talk about climate change.
	But yeah, I knew they would try to talk me out of it and shoot more fucking Adderall at my ass.
	I don't like that drug, by the way.
	I'm a fucking chatty Kathy for an hour, and then I'm in bed for three days.
	So I'm done.
	I'm never doing this.
	I'm going to die soon, obviously.
	So I'm obviously never doing this again.
	But I feel like I let a lot of people down.
	And I know I ruined my legacy.
	I was kind of known as a ballsy, tough guy who threw everyone in jail.
	I liked that legacy.
	Kamala had it too.
	We don't tolerate drugs and we'll throw blacks in jail.
	I don't want a racial jungle.
	I was kind of racist.
	And that was kind of cool.
	But this asshole, if you don't vote for me, you ain't black.
	I'm floundering.
	So anyway, I'm out.
	I hate Trump, by the way.
	I hope he doesn't come back in, but it's not my fight to fight.
	DeSantis seems okay.
	That Tulsi Gabrichik's okay.
	I guess who do we have?
	I don't really care.
	That's the whole thing.
	I don't fucking care anymore.
	And if you want me to be brutally honest, I never cared.
	I liked being vice president.
	That seemed cool because it got Jill horny.
	But yeah, even vice president, Obama made fun of me all the time.
	He treated me like a second-class citizen.
	He's a fucking snob.
	I didn't like that guy.
	I'm not racist.
	I'm not going to call him an N, but I'm more likely to call him like a snob.
	He's like a snobby academic.
	So my job has been a joke, I would say, for the past 20 years.
	First 30 years I liked.
	And I wish I had retired then.
	Anyway, I don't know why the fuck I'm president.
	And I've probably already talked too long.
	And you'll notice I'm wearing a Let's Go Brandon shirt.
	That's kind of the point.
	Anyway, that's why he was stuttering that whole time.
	Because he was faking it.
	Now he's no stutters in this speech.
	Sorry, guys.
	We've had a lot of different presidents over the years.
	We've made a lot of mistakes.
	I don't know if he should have gone into World War II, to be honest.
	Vietnam, obvious huge accident.
	Cuban Missile Crisis.
	We've had some flubs.
	And I'm a human flub.
	Hopefully I can vindicate my legacy by being honest right now.
	And this is the last time you're going to see me.
	I'm going home.
	The Clintons might kill me.
	I don't give a fuck.
	My son's dead.
	My other son's a complete, useless, drug addict, fuckhead that ruined my legacy again, made it even worse.
	So yeah.
	Anyway, sorry.
	Alright, peace.
	Sings
	I'd be like, fair game, Joe.
	Fair game.
	Well played.
	Well played, mate.
	Well played.
	Not bad, geez.
	Bring the country to the brink of World War III and nuclear war and bow out.
	Yeah, people are like, whoa, whoa, what about Ukraine?
	That's getting heavy.
	Sorry.
	It is.
	It's a tumultuous time in the world.
	We've passed a trillion, $75 million, billion.
	I thought he was Jacob Zuma.
	Right.
	And the energy problem, we're going to deal with the whole notion of global warming.
	We passed $368 billion worth of help, which, as the same bankers talk about, is going to bring $1,700 billion off the sidelines and investment.
	You know what's scary?
	I understand.
	I ran on.
	I said we're going to deal with anything.
	We've passed $360 billion put aside for various projects.
	And as Wall Street agrees, that's going to take $750 billion, almost a trillion, off the sidelines and back into the economy.
	That I don't like.
	When I start speaking, Joe, you're fucking losing.
	Who are you?
	I'm like E.T. He's Elliot.
	We just touch fingers, and I understand him.
	Trillion $700, billion dollars, billion dollars.
	I understood that one, too.
	I'm embarrassed to admit.
	Okay, wow.
	Lots of blabbing.
	We had to deal with Cartnark firing Kartnark as our ad sales guy.
	I sent him tons of pictures.
	Yeah, that, that I don't know why he chose that one.
	The Bears in the background, that's a fucking giveaway.
	And he says, dude, they're great guys.
	I know that guy.
	He likes you.
	Why would he do that?
	But then he tried to spin.
	He was like, you know, doing good work.
	I would never do that to you.
	Yeah.
	He's like, why are you mad at me?
	Why are you yelling at me?
	Well, the easy part of this is whether he's a prankster or incompetent, that fucking today's blunders are obviously grounds for firing.
	That's easy.
	So we're good there.
	But now I got to sort of sit.
	You know when you fucking come to these conclusions?
	6 a.m., the sun is coming up.
	You're lying in bed and you go, dude, he fucking blah, blah, blah.
	Like when Tony, Soprano, was sitting at the diner and he goes, wait a minute, when he was dressed as Santa, Saul was wearing a wire.
	That's why he showed up already dressed as Santa so he could have the wire on already.
	And that's why he freaked the fuck out when someone touched his costume because they'd feel the wire.
	And he goes, hey, the fuck off the costume.
	Don't touch it.
	That's why he was being such a dick.
	And that's why he went straight to talking about business when he sat down with me.
	And that's why he threw the bottle of booze at the jukebox.
	I always name drop David Cross, but he told me once that he was at a party and he was like dancing ska to a song.
	And these two people come up to him and they're like, hey, man, what's that dance you're doing?
	And he's like, oh, I'm skanking.
	And they go, how do you, that's a cool dance?
	How do you do that dance?
	He's like, oh, it's really just sort of jogging on the spot.
	And then you sort of have.
	And you go with the music and you sort of dance, you sort of jog on the spot.
	And it's like a ska thing.
	It's from Britain.
	It's from the ska moving the specials, you know, like English beat and all that.
	And they go, oh, cool.
	That's amazing.
	And he said, he goes to bed that night.
	And then he wakes up at like six in the morning and goes, oh, they were making fun of me.
	Oh.
	He was just caught up in the moment dancing, feeling good.
	Yeah.
	Plus, when you're wasted and you're all trustworthy.
	But like, I feel like I'm going to wake up at six in the morning and think of him going, yeah, the bears are on in the back.
	He's probably not even from Chicago.
	Sorry if you hear curse words.
	Sorry if you hear curse words.
	Like, come on.
	Dude, yeah.
	Yeah, that's fucking.
	Sorry if you hear any cursing.
	Dude, if this is a prank, that comedian, I hope you have a good career, dude.
	Like, I hope your Kartnark levels in your career because you're a fucking genius.
	You're like, what's his name on Stern?
	Stinky Shoes?
	Stinky Shoes?
	Sour Shoes.
	Sour Shoes.
	You're Sour Shoes level of talent.
	And I hope you're paying the bills.
	But Sour Shoes is so talented that he's also nuts.
	So I think he lives in his parents' basement and just like does perfect imitations all day.
	So pretending to have this job is holding you back.
	It's a wasted long con that you just.
	No, it's great on your resume.
	And whatever your next job is, you deserve it.
	It should be good.
	And this is, if you're a liberal, by the way, this is a good thing to put on your resume.
	I fucked over Captain Meas.
	I was his head of sales.
	Yes.
	And I made one of his clients a Nazi site.
	Jesus Christ.
	Congratulations, dude.
	Good diss.
	All right.
	So you know how this goes?
	We go behind the paywall shortly.
	We usually go way.
	We used to do a half hour before the paywall, but this is fucking nuts.
	Now we're an hour and 15 minutes.
	We take calls.
	We have a super chat.
	The super chat is raising money for Max and John.
	We're up to almost 20 grand.
	We have not read one yet.
	We've not read one.
	They're easy to get through, though.
	We 100% guarantee we will read the $100 ones, but we will make the other ones appear.
	And how you do that?
	You're asking me.
	Well, I'll tell you.
	You go to the site censored.tv on a browser, and you click the live banner, watch live.
	And you'll notice under the player of this very show, there's a little button here, a blue button.
	You click donate to read a message on air.
	And then it will pop up in this fashion.
	Okay, so what's that, $10 or zero bucks?
	My eyes aren't great.
	If we go from the bottom up, because those are liable to disappear.
	Like if a new one comes in, the bottommost one will disappear.
	Okay, so what's the oldest one from today?
	CUG, $50.
	Okay, Gavin, could you please...
	This is the smallest type ever.
	You should see my phone.
	I've seen your phone.
	Millennials laugh.
	Gavin, could you please expand on your ideas regarding Trump as being the first punk rock president?
	I've been saying this since the beginning, and yet friends, Brian Eady, cannot seem to understand this.
	An outsider with as much fuck you money as Trump, dude, we've got to make this type bigger.
	This is like, I'm at the optometrist right now.
	Gets set at the table, does not come along too often, I believe.
	Yeah, that's spelled right.
	You don't have to, oh, there you go.
	You don't have to blow the guy, but you should definitely respect his efforts.
	My apologies for any grammatical or punctual errors.
	I'm just a lowly Tennessee carpenter with a big dick.
	Sir, I don't think you have many errors there.
	Could doesn't need to be capitalized, but I think we're doing well there.
	Yeah, Trump is an outsider.
	He is an asshole.
	He doesn't follow any of the rules.
	He's totally unpredictable.
	He has zero respect for the establishment.
	I mean, how many punk rock boxes do you have to check off?
	He's rich.
	That's probably not very punk per se.
	But Johnny Rotten's rich.
	I don't know.
	Did he get his money from stealing?
	He declared bankruptcy 50 times.
	Shut the fuck up.
	You go do real estate in New York and get back to me.
	And the way he made his money, too, going through the Bronx, getting rent from people and projects when they're not paying their rent.
	That's pretty fucking badass.
	He's very like oi, like Sham69, the business, that kind of vibe.
	But how people don't understand that, I don't understand.
	Like, if he said, I mean, I could understand not liking Bolsonaro.
	I fucking love Bolsonaro, but I guess I understand how he's an acquired taste.
	Trump isn't an acquired taste.
	He's caught in candy.
	Like, how do you not like sugar?
	Bolsonaro is spicy beef.
	That's weird.
	I get it.
	But anyway, that's all I can do to expand on that.
	Gavin, what's your opinion on the Polynesians?
	They're the furthest thing from white people, yet starting in 1,000 B.C., they travel the entire Pacific Ocean, colonizing Hawaii, New Zealand, Easter Island, using advanced...
	In what?
	A hollowed-out canoe?
	Using advanced scientific knowledge and ships, navigation, and logistics.
	They even reached the Americas.
	There we go.
	Centuries before Columbus or the Vikings.
	Jason MoMA.
	Just Jason MoMA.
	Momoa.
	Momoa.
	Are they the true master race, and are you ashamed to be Scottish in comparison?
	Yes, you guys win.
	Polynesians, you fucking rock.
	So anyway, we leave the cheaper ones up there.
	You can read them on your own time.
	We also take calls on Thursdays, get in touch with the people.
	They tell us what we're doing wrong.
	They're usually wrong.
	And we also answer letters.
	What's hit us?
	Thanks for calling, Bump.
	Okay.
	Hidden.
	You are on the air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You know, I'm here to learn, share.
	Understand why.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It's great hearing from you.
	Bye-bye.
	All right, next call.
	We are on the air.
	Okay, first letter.
	This is confusing here.
	Gavin and Ryan, you dumb.
	And then he uses a racial epithet for African Americans, which I don't advocate for.
	The guy who made the Gavin likes gold site is the same dude who did the FOP Medals fake page.
	He went to one of your shows.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I met him in Orlando.
	That's not what we're talking about, dude.
	That's funny.
	We like that guy.
	He's very funny.
	Yeah.
	If you go to FOPFOPmetals.com, not P-H-A-U-M.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That doesn't mean that our guy is not Andy Kaufman.
	Just because someone else is fucking with us.
	The question here is, is this guy the greatest fucking fuck with us of all?
	used your art in his scheme.
	Yeah, that's...
	God, the arrogance of young people drives me insane.
	Dude, you fucking idiot.
	The guy who made the fake sites did another fake site.
	Yeah, I know.
	But this genius who fucked with us for five months now, I don't even know if Bubba and Hanks exist.
	No, I did get meat from them.
	Fuck, was it fake meat?
	I ate it.
	I ate it.
	Seemed pretty good.
	Was it real?
	Wasn't that awesome?
	He left his number, so I figured we could.
	I figure we can call him.
	Fats Flavor.
	He left his number.
	Who?
	The guy who just wrote that.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	Yeah.
	How's it going?
	It's good.
	Is this Ryan?
	This is Ryan, yeah.
	So the guy who made that, so you made GavinlikesGold.com.
	The guy who sent you a bunch of other pictures, I don't know why.
	We think he might be like a genius prankster sent in to drive me insane.
	Well, I don't know.
	I think it's fucking hilarious, man.
	So you think it's a different guy than that fat metal fella?
	No, no, no.
	Wait, who are you?
	I'm the guy who fucking gave you Joe Diggs' original address and shit, dude.
	Ryan, who is this?
	He's the guy who wrote the letter.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah, I don't know why we're calling you.
	You left your number.
	I just figured.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	Thanks for calling.
	I'm also huge for us, David.
	What do you say?
	I don't know.
	I'm also a huge boy.
	And then it faded.
	We missed Lorraine and Jimmy.
	They spelled my mother's name right.
	That's unique.
	Unique.
	Why are they not on the show?
	Good point.
	Let's call mom and dad.
	Calls are.
	Diggs's lawyer, Max and John's lawyer.
	Calls are stacking up.
	Call the number at the bottom of the screen.
	718-400-6959.
	You're on the line.
	Mom.
	718-400-6959.
	So you know how to call, you know how to super chat, you know how to email.
	Mailbag at sensor.tv.
	These are the ways.
	Three ringy dinghies.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hey.
	Hello.
	Hi, Mom.
	Hi, Kelly.
	How's it going?
	Good.
	How are you?
	Good, good.
	We're kind of just out for the canyon.
	You know, we're old.
	We're old.
	Yeah, I feel bad calling.
	And I feel even worse for why I'm calling.
	I was kind of checking in to see if you guys had died yet.
	Oh, I know.
	I'm sorry, honey.
	I'm working on it.
	I'm working on it.
	Yeah, no rush.
	No rush.
	I feel terrible for even asking.
	I feel like the worst guy ever.
	I'm sorry.
	How are things going with you?
	Pretty good.
	Pretty good.
	I got the kids alone this week.
	The wife is away.
	That's not that bad.
	The secret to being a good stay-at-home dad is you just don't drink, you don't go to the bar and you don't go to the gym.
	And it gives you like an extra three hours a day.
	So you're around.
	Oh, amazing.
	Yeah, I should tell Dad that because he's usually quite not out by 11 in the morning.
	What do you mean, knocked out by 11 in the morning?
	He passes out drunk at 11 a.m.
	No, he just never wakes up.
	He sleeps all day.
	He's at that age, you know?
	Yeah.
	But we're not sure if he's got a pulse or not.
	We just kind of leave him there and then, you know, some people think that we sleep so wooden and anyway, Kyle and Nicole are back in the air.
	Oh, you gotta tell her she's on the air.
	Legally, she might sue you.
	Oh, that'll be cool.
	Okay.
	I don't know what I should do here.
	This didn't work out.
	could be saying secrets now Mom, mom, mom, I actually got to focus on more important things right now.
	I'm sorry.
	Did you originally get attracted to dad because he reminded you of Steve McQueen?
	Well, he's pretty far from that.
	Well, now.
	Now he looks like a turtle with AIDS.
	But back in 1960.
	I mean, he was like a beautiful flower that you bought at its prime, and then from that point on, the petals all fall off.
	He just wilted away.
	Skinny old stem, you know.
	When did the petals fall off?
	Oh, probably after the second year we were married.
	Did you like, though, that he had a broken nose and he was a hard man in Glasgow and he's a bad boy?
	Yeah, I guess there was an element of that.
	It was sort of dangerous to know and dangerous to love.
	If you know what I mean.
	Why was he dangerous to know and dangerous to love?
	Did he have a bad rep in the gorbels?
	Yes, he did, in his mind.
	But then he let, when he got involved in any fights, he would let shove a little Alan in, his older brother who was smaller.
	And if he got beaten up, he would say, oh, I recognize that guy's technique.
	I can beat him up.
	So then he would leap in.
	And meanwhile, poor Realan is lying on his back on the floor with a bloody nose.
	I wouldn't say, I think he didn't play by what they call it, the rules?
	So he would use Alan as sort of like fodder to test out what the opponent's techniques were.
	Exactly, to test their mettle.
	Plus they were tired after beating up Alan.
	Queensbury rules.
	That's not right.
	Yeah, Glasgow's not known for its Queensbury rules.
	No.
	You get the heat.
	If you pen down, you just get the heat.
	All right, Mom.
	Well, thanks for making the show better.
	Is Dad passed out?
	What's he doing?
	He's here.
	I'm over here.
	Oh, how you doing, Dad?
	I'm doing great.
	We're on this business of Steve McQueen.
	I used to, Irene used to put a pillowcase over my head, then paint a picture of Steve McQueen on it.
	And she's a great artist, so it probably looked believable.
	Yeah.
	But inevitably, the pillow is going to shift a bit, and it's going to look like Steve McQueen broke his neck or something.
	Oh, that's exactly what happens.
	Do you remember that time?
	We won't say her name, but there was a family friend over at our house in Ottawa, and she was complaining about her lack of intercourse.
	And she said in her hoser accent, she's like, I can't, I don't get why you two are still fucking together, still fucking for fuck's sakes.
	And she goes, I'm not getting fucked.
	My dildo's running out of batteries.
	And then, Dad, you said, well, the secret is I put a paper bag over my head.
	And Lorraine just pretends I'm whoever comes to mind.
	And she was like, I'm fucking serious, Jim.
	This isn't a joke.
	Remember the time you were having diarrhea at a party, which you guys had every night, even though I had school the next day.
	You're listening to fucking dire straits and smoking shitty weed with your skin-tight jeans and brown nylons on.
	The Sultans of Swing blaring as I begged you all to go to sleep.
	And you had chronic diarrhea, as you're wont to do.
	And Diane, oops, I just said her name.
	Daron came into the bathroom and sat on the bathtub as you were shitting.
	And she was like, Jim, you got to wake up because you got a great thing here with Lorraine.
	And you're not treating her with the fucking respect she deserves, eh?
	And you're like, for fuck's sakes, I'm taking a shit woman.
	You remember that?
	Oh, yeah.
	She was never discreet.
	Didn't she leave one of our parties, one of our pool parties, in a bikini and somehow hitchhike home, which was like half an hour away?
	Yes.
	Actually crackled.
	The reason she wasn't getting late is she had a gray crew cut.
	She looked like she was in the military.
	Grow your hair long, lady.
	Jesus, she was her shoulders, she looked like a linebacker.
	Jesus.
	Well, maybe she was a transgender male.
	Maybe.
	She was a pioneer.
	Oh, she'll be older age now.
	Yeah, like Stefan Nee.
	Did you see that Toronto guy?
	He's like seven feet tall.
	He Dumped his wife and his six kids to become a six-year-old girl.
	Oh, God.
	What about the guy with the boobs?
	Yeah, I like the theory that he's tricking everyone, and he was getting in shit for being like too, you know, right-wing.
	So he said, All right, let's play this game.
	And he wore those ridiculous tits to fuck with him and they can't fire him.
	I'm 50% sure that this is a brilliant prank.
	I heard that yesterday.
	Yeah.
	That it was.
	Yes.
	Yeah, I love it.
	Problem is, we looked up those tits online.
	It's like a latex almost vest.
	It's almost 500 bucks.
	It must be so hot.
	Oh, the sweat that must be pouring out of it.
	God, the rashes you must have.
	Your armpits are growing mold.
	It must be.
	What a commitment to the bit, though.
	Very impressive.
	You probably cut some holes in it.
	All right, guys.
	So I got to go, but I assume the will is in order.
	God forbid anything should happen to you.
	I assume that the finances will be pretty easy to...
	So it's a 60-40 split?
	So you're, I mean, hanging by a thread.
	You're not out of the will, but you're, as Tlorine said, you're hanging by a thread.
	Are we talking 65-35, 90-10?
	What have we?
	95-5?
	I don't want to go into the details of it, but let me tell you, you'd better start treating us right.
	I'm not sure what's worse, having to treat you right for the money or just not getting the money.
	Well, all you have to do is sign up, but you wipe my ass.
	Keep your fucking money.
	Goodbye.
	Thank you.
	Fuck that.
	Well, thanks for calling.
	So we've got 17 calls on the MF flight.
	All right, so let's take one call and then we'll go goodbye.
	All right.
	518, you're on the line.
	518, what's going on?
	Welcome to Censored WXPR FM in Cincinnati.
	518.
	518, wake up.
	Trying to see if it's my fault.
	Yep, we can hear you.
	What's up, dog?
	All right, man.
	So I can tell, Gavin, how artistic you are, how good you are at putting together a show, okay?
	So I want to say that up front.
	But the big complaint I have is every episode you talk about transgender people and how fucking disgusting their surgeries are, them getting deformed and it's nasty.
	And I can't handle it anymore.
	It's fucking disgusting.
	It makes you want to gag every time you start talking about it.
	Okay, so no more talk of the sex change and the cheese blint stick.
	Oh, oh.
	What about what Maddie went through with the weird camera soldering iron that went up his femoral artery into his heart?
	Yeah, less of that.
	Less of that.
	More, you know, talking shit about the hood and all that kind of stuff.
	But all these trans people that are that disgusting, oh, you got to tone it down a bit.
	Okay, but what about talking about Drag Queen Story Hour and they just had another one and there was kids there.
	Do I have to drop that?
	No, I think it needs to be talked about, of course.
	I think it absolutely needs to be talked about.
	It's important.
	But for the level of detail and yeah, we already covered it.
	Okay, no more fucking gross sex change talk.
	You can go back and watch it again.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Good tip.
	Good tip.
	Love you.
	Love you.
	Good tip.
	Speaking of tip, don't they cut the tip of the penis off and they turn that into the clean?
	Yeah, we have actually a photo of that.
	The head of the cock lying in a cold little tub.
	I love the shit they put in the thing.
	Like when they're doing a boob job, they cut the nipples off and they put them on these bowls of ice.
	They just sit there, these little pepperonis.
	You know, when my daughter was born, her nipples were unbelievably small and the same color as her skin.
	And my mother-in-law came to visit.
	I like her.
	She doesn't like me.
	And I was like, let's call her Julie.
	And I was like, Julie, where are my daughter's nipples?
	And she's like, what?
	And I go, you took my daughter's nipple?
	That seems weird.
	Were you going to sell them in the black market?
	And she's like, I never touched that.
	Did she not find that funny at all?
	And she's funny.
	Indians are funny.
	Ho-chunks are funny.
	So I didn't get why she didn't get it.
	And it turns out she did steal the nipples.
	So before she left from her first visit, and she was a great, great mother-in-law, great, great grandma, tended to the kid a lot.
	I took two pepperonis from the fridge.
	I put them in a sandwich bag and I put them in her luggage.
	Oh, okay.
	Like in one of the zip things on the carry-on.
	How does she not like you?
	And she's like, okay, well, we're gone.
	I was like, okay.
	I hope you don't take this the wrong way.
	But do you mind if I looked in your bag for one second?
	And she's like, what?
	And I go, I kind of have a hunch that something's in there that belongs to us.
	And she's like, how?
	Are you out of your mind?
	I was like, okay, well, I'll look like a real dummy then if there's nothing there.
	And she's like, and then she didn't even say yes or no.
	She was just sort of flabbergasted.
	And then I unzipped the first little pocket and I pulled out the sandwich bag and I pulled out the two pepperonis and I was like, oh my God.
	What the fuck are these?
	And she was like, I don't know.
	And I go, these are Sophie's nipples.
	You've had these the whole time?
	And she's like, I didn't put those there.
	Just like our buddy with fucking.
	I'm still not.
	I didn't put that sentence there.
	It just showed up.
	Yeah, I'm looking.
	Look, I got the bears on in the background.
	There's going to be some fucks and shits.
	That one is hard to recognize.
	As if he doesn't know that.
	Microsoft did it.
	Yeah.
	As if I'm going to be like, hey, why are there some fucks and shits?
	Yeah.
	All right, let's take another call and then we'll go behind the paywall.
	Nate, 587, make it good.
	What's going on, Nate?
	What's going on, eh?
	Back in the A, dude.
	All right, Derek.
	So I wanted, I agree with Gavin on like 90% of things, right?
	There's always that 10% that I disagree with.
	I thought it'd be interesting to have a conversation about one of those things.
	Okay, Hoser.
	Okay, uh, abortion.
	Right?
	I'm personally against abortion, but I'm not against women doing it.
	However, Capital Gain states to course correct this kind of fucking buck culture that we have now.
	It would be best if, in parallel, men could abort at the same rate as women.
	For instance, first trimester, you could choose to abort the baby, or the man could choose to financially abort the baby.
	And I think it would self-correct the market.
	Capitalist solution.
	So men don't have to pay for the baby if you didn't get an abortion.
	Well, he has the same option, right?
	So if she goes, well, no, I'm going to baby trap this guy.
	And the guy goes, fuck you.
	It was a one-night stand.
	You told me you're on birth control.
	You know, he can go, no, I'm done.
	I'm out.
	It's all you.
	And on the same note.
	Yeah, but dude, you're not talking about actual cases that you've experienced.
	You're talking about a concept.
	You're being an academic here.
	You know that in real life, if you talk to people who do this, first of all, there's billions and zillions of cases we've all heard of with our friends where she goes, you know what?
	Don't worry about it.
	I'm going to keep the baby.
	It's not your problem.
	So the financial thing is not a big deal.
	And when it is a big deal, and she's like, you're going to pay for this, motherfucker.
	He never pays for it.
	I can't tell you how many even middle class, upper middle class divorced couples I know where he doesn't pay the child support.
	He's like fucking six months behind.
	Oh, he's going to get arrested, whatever.
	It's not really.
	Women are not keeping their babies to fuck over dudes.
	They get money from the government.
	The dudes don't pay.
	If you're such a miscreant, if you're such a lowlife that you want to use your dude and make him pay, then he tends to not pay.
	I don't know.
	He skips down.
	He gets in shit.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	That's fucking Canadians being pontificators.
	We see that a lot.
	Anyway, we're going behind the paywall now.
	We only have 20 minutes left.
	We usually leave you like an hour and a half ago.
	But goodbye to the freeloaders.
	I understand you're cheap.
	It's $10 a month to go to censored.tv.
	Unlimited content.
	More content than you should watch.
	If you watch every single one of our shows, you have a problem.
	When we started this network, it was only like me doing four hours, five hours a week, five one-hour shows.
	Now it's like three or four hours, five hours of content a day.
	So if you watch all of this, you've got to get a life.
	It is what's going on in the world with a funny take, super positive vibes.
	We cry when we look at little kids.
	It's pro-family.
	It's pro-fun.
	And I think you would be remiss not to at least try it for a month.
	But if you're not, then you're getting cut off right now.
	Come see our shows.
	We've got a show in Chicago coming up on the 20th.
	I'm going to be at Penn State, much to the left's histrionic chagrin on the 24th, just doing normal.
	They're going to film it.
	I might put it up here, the Penn State one.
	And you're just going to see a normal guy saying normal shit like this while people are outside screaming Nazi.
	And for all you subscribers, I'll see you fucking tomorrow.
	Fuck.
	No, subscribers will see you right away.
	Well, yeah, okay.
	So subscribers will see you in 12 seconds.
	But I'll also see you tomorrow.
	And for all you other people, I'll see you next week.
	And until then, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	But Mickey gets around it and gets in one anyway.
	We're all a bit skint at the moment, so to keep things lively, I'll stick to the next round of it.
	Get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Violent podcast over a speaker on campus here.
	Fuck you, Norman.
	He is a Canadian, writer, actor, comedian.
	He's the co-founder of Viking.
	Oh, fuck another vagina, you gross pig.
	Serious active movie plug on the movie of the speaker.
	You got big fucking pigs.
	I watched that and I said, this chick's too retarded the fuck.
	You shouldn't do it.
	They take anything you say and then fucking twist it around.
	This is the part of Seth that's gonna get real mean before I leave.
	Wow.
	R.I.G.
	40!
	I stay naughty!
	I stay naughty!
	I stay R.I.G.
	No more filthy.
	You king.
	They think we want to tell those kind of jokes.
	The only two things in the diary tomorrow are focused on the match of the day.
	Mickey then's put something in my dream and I know it because suddenly the music's fucking a big opportunity possible You've now tuned into the GOML lo-fi stream where all you zoomers can study candles.
	I hate scents.
	I hate perfume Incense.
	Yeah, we're ready to announce the venue in Chicago.
	Are we?
	Oh that shit.
	I thought we were just doing a shout out to me motherfucker.
	Nah, nah.
	I just thought maybe we would give a general location.
	Oh, we're changing the vibe.
	Okay.
	This is a really popular YouTube thing.
	It's more popular than AMR.
	It's lo-fi streams.
	So it's just chill music.
	And a lot of generation sucks.
	A lot of Zoomers stream with this in the background and it makes things less cringe.
	Less cringe?
	That's subjective.
	Yeah.
	This is mostly the music, the type of music I use for Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen too, if you notice.
	Oh yeah, I get comments on it.
	What do they say?
	Do they like it or no?
	What do they say?
	They hate it.
	They hate me.
	They think I'm gay.
	They say, Who puts the music in there?
	I go.
	No.
	It doesn't slap?
	No, nothing you do slaps.
	You know what I thought?
	It needed balance.
	The food slaps so hard, we need some unslappable music to kind of chill things out.
	Chill music that's not fucking gay.
	But it's not license-free.
	You know what?
	I'll find some better stuff.
	It's just we don't want stuff with lyrics, so now we're like, what?
	Jazz?
	You know, what?
	Where do we get jazz?
	We don't want jazz.
	This is like a nice...
	Why can't I find it?
	Right now, Maddie's pulling out a brick of Truly's butter, 250 days on past.
	Brewer House near Lombard.
	Cracking some eggs.
	Put them in the pan there.
	They're sizzling up.
	Do you know the venue, Ryan?
	I don't.
	Brewer House or something?
	I don't know it.
	I know that on our Twitter.
	Oh my god, this music is fucking so annoying.
	Your taste in music is...
	Lombard Venue.
	So on our Twitter, we have the vague location announcement.
	What changed?
	Brower House.
	Brower House.
	The ticket sales are so bad that we're like, all right, let's just fucking follow the ticket sales up.
	Wait a minute.
	I might be wrong.
	A lot of good vibes.
	Maddie, did you see the good vibes on this post?
	I knew you were putting it up, but I didn't get a chance to see it today.
	I was running around.
	People are like, you know.
	Well, not physically running around, but.
	Yeah, it is Brower House.
	B-R-A-U-E-R.
	Schemin.
	Temmi Chicken Masala.
	All right, let's take some calls.
	We've only got 50 minutes left, folks.
	Lots of great stuff here from peeps.
	All right.
	We got calls.
	Let's see.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	Hey, Gab, did you hear what happened at the end of today's tax episode between Kevin Brennan and Stupid Gino?
	They had to cut the feed early.
	Now, I did hear on Tuesday's show, Kevin Brennan saying, I'm going to fuck him up.
	He's giving up my number.
	He's an asshole.
	He already fucked up Pat Dixon.
	And apparently they had to shut this thing down.
	There was a fight in the studio.
	That I didn't.
	I saw it.
	Okay, Wolves hold it up.
	Yeah, I'm going there now.
	Hmm.
	That's interesting.
	The last I heard, I actually heard it on my jog today.
	I was listening to Anthony.
	And no, they have not posted the episode.
	The last one is Compound Censor.
	Shit.
	I saw some screenshots.
	Let's see some screenshots.
	All right.
	Juicy.
	Juicy, guys.
	Juicy.
	Juicy.
	He's a wee benefit, son.
	Oh, I. We got in lots of trouble there.
	Let's call Gino.
	This has been a very call-heavy episode.
	We got the...
	Turn off that fucking music, you elevator.
	That's the most hurtful thing I've ever heard.
	Good.
	I want to hurt you.
	Now it feels naked.
	Yeah, because you ruined everything.
	A fucking Tony Chicken Masala.
	What is that from?
	What is that?
	Fucking chicken.
	I have no idea where Chicken Masala comes from.
	Oh, the song.
	Okay.
	Yeah, the opening song.
	We just played it.
	Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system.
	Gino Giscanti.
	We're hanging out!
	Fuck this, fuck this.
	No, no, no.
	Come on, Kevin.
	Well, why don't we have Pat Dixon?
	No, no, go back.
	Go back.
	That's what I think.
	Is that the whole thing?
	That's the whole thing.
	What?
	Did he call him Kevin?
	Come on, Kevin.
	Kevin.
	Go back.
	That was it.
	Well, I want to see it again.
	Maybe Anthony can respond.
	Fuck this, fuck this.
	No, no, no.
	Come on, Kevin.
	Fuck this, fuck this.
	No, no, no.
	Come on, Kevin.
	See if there's more clips.
	I'm looking.
	Here, look, here's a clip of Levy holding back Brennan and Bobby holding back Brennan.
	We can get Pat Dixon on the line.
	What's Pat going to do?
	Talk he was there.
	Well, you can...
	Make stuff up?
	Go over the...
	Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging.
	What causes a man to attack a Gino?
	That's all conjecture and surmise.
	That's true.
	Or we can just watch Geno.
	So what is...
	Because the fucking studio.
	On Tuesday, he was saying, I'm going to fuck him up.
	Seems to be the only thing he understands.
	I wouldn't fuck up anyone for giving away my phone number.
	It's rude.
	I don't like it, but it's not really punch.
	Punching is like insulted your family stuff.
	I don't really care.
	Am I a pussy, Maddie?
	No.
	Yeah.
	I wouldn't care about like, because if somebody really wants your information, they're going to get it.
	Yeah.
	I was listening to this for a while.
	It's a stream that these guys did because they threw a comedy show.
	Bob Levy threw a comedy show.
	Tino bombed.
	He blamed the venue.
	You can get rid of that bottom third anytime now.
	Okay.
	Face.
	Yeah, that's what I was going to say, because they probably talked a lot of shit about you on the way back, but good.
	Good.
	I don't have to see them anymore.
	I don't give a fuck.
	You think I give a fuck if they come back?
	Oh, yeah.
	When are you bringing back the guys that struggled?
	When are you bringing them back?
	You know?
	Hey, let's put them in a fucking potato sack and see if they can get out of it on stage this next time.
	Are you fucking kidding me?
	This was a great stream.
	To see Bob Levy so pissed.
	Very cool.
	I used to see him open up one of Louis C.K. shows where the crowd's just like, huh?
	Dude, Kevin is very funny.
	I used to, I don't know.
	I just said, Gino, please call me.
	It's serious.
	It's about you.
	I know it'll get done.
	Where are you?
	How are we doing with chats?
	Oh, we got some chaz.
	Okay.
	Five, I don't care about.
	Kanye's talking to Project.
	I heard that.
	Cool.
	Pretty neat.
	Copy Guy is an Owen Benjamin fan.
	Who's Copy Guy?
	I don't know.
	Oh, that's a good guess.
	But I've been having problems with Copy Guy since day one.
	Like, since we started this network.
	So I don't think he's an Owen Benjamin guy.
	I think if he's a prankster, he's just been like a funny dude who hates me for a long time.
	How do you pick up chicks in public?
	I fucked a few in high school, but dated the same girl for seven years.
	I've completely lost my mojo.
	Anytime I think about accosting a woman in public, I feel like a pervert.
	Yeah, well, you can't just go up to him on the street, right?
	I've known dudes who did that.
	They're just like, hey, what's up?
	I'm Tony.
	What's your number?
	You got to be pretty darn handsome to pull that off.
	I just constantly talking into fat chick on the side.
	I mean, I can't just.
	Gino Beskant.
	Beskanty.
	Gino Beskent.
	This best can be good.
	That didn't work.
	Hey, man.
	What's up, buddy?
	You're on the airport.
	I'm worried about what's going on.
	Talk to me.
	I'm just worried that you're going to get fired.
	I'm worried Anthony's really mad.
	I don't know what you want me to do or what I should have done.
	Apologize.
	Maybe you could call Kevin and apologize.
	He threatened to kill me because I was in the studio.
	I have the show afterwards.
	I know, but it's just so much drama.
	I just wish there was a way to resolve it.
	Look, you know me well, and I agree.
	Like, we're just, I said to him, I went, I wanted to hug him.
	I wanted to apologize, but he just wasn't hearing it, you know?
	Yeah.
	I had a long talk with Anthony yesterday after he left, you know?
	And like, it's just all this shit that goes on offline with Kevin attacking me in personal texts.
	And then I say shit on there.
	I'm like, all right, well, fine then.
	Then it's done.
	But like, I'm talking.
	I'm just telling you what I know.
	I just feel like you're such a great guy and Kevin's such a great guy.
	I wish you guys could work it out, you know?
	I mean, we were fine two weeks ago.
	Yeah.
	And you guys have such a great report.
	Yeah.
	And I was trying, I don't know what you can do when he gets like that.
	But again, I'm like, I don't know what I could have done.
	I've never seen it.
	See, no, I'm just kidding.
	I couldn't care less if you both shoot each other in the head.
	I was killing, I killed this story all the time.
	I go up and like, dude, I'm really sorry I'm shitting on Pattex.
	And you're like, I care if you kill Pat Ticks.
	Fuck you.
	I'm like, I don't know.
	You're like, we have a great report.
	I love it.
	I'm like, yeah, we got a great report.
	Oh, it was so hard to say that without having a spit take.
	I want my dollar 65 back, fuck him.
	I won $809 on my Mets bet.
	$809.
	Suck that.
	Suck it.
	Shut it.
	I know.
	I was wrong.
	I was wrong when I said $2.68.
	You were wrong.
	What?
	I said, thank God you were wrong.
	That made no sense.
	But it doesn't surprise me with gambling.
	And everyone's shitting on the Mets going, haha, you loser.
	Oh, I didn't win the World Series.
	I'm pretty darn happy with what?
	How many games did we win?
	100 games?
	Yeah, you were the smart man.
	You're like, I didn't bet on them in the postseason.
	I bet on them in the regular season.
	And I made money.
	Yeah.
	So what did happen?
	So Kevin Brennan's mad.
	You gave out his phone number.
	He showed up to kick your ass.
	No, this is it in a nutshell.
	Okay.
	Like last week, and they call last week a fan calls in, right?
	And he says, hey, is Kevin Brennan's number still whatever?
	And I don't know anyone's number, but it was, right?
	And I go, yeah.
	And I don't care about numbers being given out because from my days back in Philly radio, when you had a landline and fucking it mattered if someone had your number, people would give mine out and I got used to it, right?
	So I didn't care.
	And then fucking that weekend, I get a text from Kevin Brennan saying, wow, you really love my number on that episode.
	You really are a fucking nigger.
	And I take offense to that because everyone's like, Gina screams nigger.
	I say, well, I don't.
	I don't.
	But now in a text, I'm being called.
	And I said, I said, thanks for the screen grab fucking with him.
	And he got all mad like I was going to post it.
	And then I said, you gave out Calta's number on Kunya's show a week earlier.
	And then you went on Kunya's show after it happened with us.
	And, you know, everything's a fucking theater with Brennan.
	And he goes, yeah, Gino, they gave out my number on his show, but who gives a fuck?
	No one watches it.
	And I said that to him.
	Like, so you give out Calter's number.
	You give me a pussy.
	You call me a pussy after you shit on me.
	I'm like, fine.
	I'm like, whatever.
	And then I apologize three different times.
	I'm like, look.
	Yeah, the part I don't get is.
	All right, so we got this.
	Is this number still 646?
	Gavin, I know he was talking about a place to move in the south that is anti-woke, blah, blah, blah.
	Wait, this is $10?
	My shitty eyes show me $0, by the way.
	That's a long $10.
	Super chat.
	And go back to it.
	And for someone who has traveled around the last 10 years in the film industry, I got to say, the perfect area, for is Mammoth County.
	New Jersey?
	New Jersey.
	Really?
	Near the shore.
	I don't like shore.
	I'm so sick of it.
	I love Jersey.
	I hate beaches.
	You got to be by the beach.
	Fuck a beach.
	I hate beaches.
	Which is basically like, what, you like just sitting on a towel and baking like a potato?
	I like being close to the water.
	It's a good escape option.
	It's just, I like the water.
	I don't like being landlocked.
	Yeah.
	That's what idiots like you and me say when we're from Montreal and New York.
	Do you know directly behind your building is water?
	Yes, I love it.
	I love it.
	Sorry.
	Let's see your hair again, moron.
	Oh, geez.
	I love it.
	Look at his hair.
	Cat dog.
	It's like a chia pet.
	It's like a dog.
	When you see a dog with bangs and hair in its eyes, you just go, you stupid creature.
	You don't even mind that you can't see it, you fucking loser.
	My dog.
	My dog, I think they just cut it recently, but for like two weeks, Leroy had his hair right in his eyes.
	And I was just like, how does that not bother you, fucking idiot?
	And then my wife would come with scissors at him, and he'd go like, because he thinks, I don't know, she's going to stab his eyes.
	And I'm like, good.
	Stab your fucking Ryan hair.
	Leroy's.
	Get this dumb background out of my face.
	You don't like the lo-fi?
	No.
	All right.
	Anyway, that guy's showing his shit.
	Any other things there?
	I'm just warning everybody.
	That lo-fi thing, it's been suggested from a certain place that has interest in the show.
	It's a suggestion passed down from somebody.
	I cannot look at you with that fucking hair.
	You have mesh.
	Like when a woman is at a funeral name, she has mesh over her eyes.
	What?
	Okay, so what are you saying in your dumb cryptic way that no one cares about?
	It was suggested by important people that might have some influence on the show that we do a little more Zoomer type content.
	What?
	Shareholders?
	Yeah.
	And also animals.
	More animal stuff does really well.
	We'll talk about it later, but I thought I'd sneak it in before.
	I think he's got to finish.
	My Air Force wife is pilot.
	Uh-oh.
	She's going to die.
	Wants me to bang her.
	She's a thousand miles away.
	Should I do it?
	My Air Force wife is pilot.
	Wants me to bang her.
	This pilot wants me to bang her.
	Oh, by the way, I got something you might want to see.
	Let's take a call.
	We've got very limited time.
	Like Rayleota.
	Hey, are you okay?
	Is he sick or something?
	Hey, here he is.
	I'm not doing a show with Geno's here.
	I'm leaving so you can do this.
	That's the name of today's show.
	I'm not doing a show of Geno's here.
	He is.
	All right, I'm in, my buddy.
	Wow.
	Get the fuck out of here, you fucking cow.
	Holy shit, you want to dance?
	Whoa, what are you doing?
	Holy shit, you want to dance?
	What the fuck is that?
	No, just say, look, I said I said, break your other fucking jaw, you fucking bitch.
	You only got one.
	There's two sides to it.
	Who's filming?
	It's that.
	I think it's that camera they have that rotates your one single jaw.
	You're going to pay away your life to take a swing at me.
	Why do you take a swing at someone?
	What the fuck are you?
	You're a fucking nigger and a faggot.
	Oh, God.
	Now I've seen a few of those out on the sidewalk.
	Gino, I'm going.
	You didn't take damage.
	You think that worked?
	Oh, shit.
	We got Manix rolled.
	Well, we didn't really get Manix rolled.
	We got a lot of content out of that.
	Yeah, I suppose.
	So we have a guy calling it about Pitbulls.
	817, you're on the line.
	You've been waiting for 13 minutes.
	Hopefully, he's still there.
	David.
	One of the fag capitals of the world.
	Fag capital of the world.
	What's up, you bunch of cuties?
	Oh, cuties.
	What's happening?
	Let's start calling each other cuties.
	That's funny.
	I like that.
	That's a new thing.
	What's up, cutie?
	Yeah, from now on, I'm calling everyone I know cutie.
	Hey, did you guys see the story about the fucking pit bull attack in Tennessee last week?
	Yeah, that guy has the most punchable face in the world.
	He's got some hipster buffon, and they've got their two fucking pit bulls.
	Gorgeous.
	They ate the kids.
	She must have weighed like 100 pounds.
	Yeah, she had the two kids in the backyard that got just destroyed by her two pit bulls, and she couldn't stop them.
	What do you think, Maddie?
	You're a pit bull guy.
	How do you feel about that murdering?
	I knew.
	Well, I used to work at, like, hang out in this tattoo studio, and it was a girl who used to come in and get tattooed and stuff.
	And that had happened to her.
	She was sitting there in a chair getting tattooed, and she was telling the story of how she left the dog with her niece or somebody to watch it.
	She had to go to work, and the fucking dog tore the kid apart.
	Like, literally tore the kid apart.
	But, you know.
	Killed it dead.
	Killed it dead, yeah.
	Like, dismembered the kid.
	He was a little toddler.
	I mean, why would you leave a four-year-old alone with a pit bull?
	That's illegal.
	No, no, no.
	Well, I guess it was the family dog.
	Oh, I see.
	She had to go to work, and she left.
	Somebody in her family came to watch the kid, so she'd go to work.
	Oh, I see, right.
	And then while she was at work, whatever happened.
	I gotta go.
	I'm sorry, Maddie.
	All pit bulls need to die, including Coco.
	Well, you can't blame all pit bulls.
	Yeah, I can't.
	It's called a pattern.
	A disproportionate number of people.
	They just shouldn't be fucking family, though.
	It's like maybe a single man that can handle a fucking pit bull and keep it contained at all times can be a little bit more.
	Yeah, good point.
	Good point.
	Maddie's cousin walks his pit bull.
	He's alone.
	I mean, I had pit bulls my entire life.
	We had two and a half.
	Even though there was no toddlers around.
	Nieces.
	I've got pictures of getting licked.
	They're like in their little bassinet spot of Christmas trees and dogs all.
	Kill them all.
	Let God sort them out.
	Look at these memes.
	There's so many fucking hilarious memes.
	I went down the rabbit hole and like I'm with you, guys.
	They're fucking terrible.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	There's so many hilarious pit bull memes.
	I saw this one.
	It was like a pit bull.
	And it was like, they deny us our medicine.
	And no, they give us medicine.
	And they deny us what helps us.
	So we're left to starve.
	And it was like, they deny us our medicine and it's a baby crawling.
	And it's like, yeah.
	They deny us what helps us or something.
	It's a baby crawling that's like they fill us full of medicine and it's like drugs.
	I'm not doing them mean justice.
	I'll tell you what you get.
	You get what you fucking deserve.
	Shreds an infant.
	How about another mauling, Marae?
	Their fucking head is a jaw.
	Earplugs in, crackpipe smoke.
	I've got tons of pictures like that, like the newborn and the dog.
	What?
	I said, I've got tons of pictures that my kids, nieces, and nephews.
	Before pictures?
	No, the one touch five.
	Fatal, you can help by expanding it.
	Okay.
	literally any child level nine friendly pitbull level 11.
	Return.
	That's a.
	I don't get that one.
	It's like a white supremacy thing.
	Oh, I see.
	Return.
	I'm crying.
	Wow.
	All right.
	If you go to Gavin LikesGold, there's a fucking bunch of labs that says return.
	There's a whole yeah, gavinlikespitbulls.com.
	You must have done something.
	Poor dog was scared, confused, being protective.
	You could apply all these to ghetto blacks who murder people for no reason.
	My end would never bite.
	Let's take some calls.
	We got two minutes.
	All right.
	All righty.
	Two minutes?
	Oh, man.
	That one quick.
	Derek is on the line.
	Go ahead, Derek.
	Hey, Gap.
	I was just curious if you would give some more time to the Alex Jones story.
	It's crazy to me that he pretty much deals in sensationalism and like conspiracy theory.
	And obviously, like CNN, MSNBC, they're wrong all the fucking time and they hide behind the fact that, oh, they do opinion pieces.
	And I know you're more of a journalist, editor, you know, like have a good background in that.
	Just kind of curious how the fuck this is not just a politicized attack on Alex Jones.
	Obviously, they're just trying to take him out.
	I was curious if you had some more thoughts on that.
	Yeah, I mean, we talked about it a lot yesterday with Anthony, but it is clearly a way to subjugate the opposition to stifle Trump supporters.
	This is about Trump.
	If this was Keith Olbermann, if this was Rachel Maddow, she, I don't know, might be suspended for a week or some shit like that.
	This is a guy who has been right on almost everything he said.
	He allegedly got something wrong.
	And I don't understand the legal precedent for paying a billion dollars for getting something wrong.
	Even if he thought and said it wasn't true, it was the actors and all that.
	It's still not illegal.
	You can say whatever the fuck he wants.
	Like, what if I say Australia doesn't exist?
	It's fake.
	The earth is flat.
	It's a fake country.
	And the airlines, they just go in a circle and they drop you off at a fake Australian Walt Disneyland.
	And then people start killing Australians.
	That's horrific.
	But should I be...
	No one killed any Sandy Hook parents.
	Am I culpable?
	I mean, I was wrong.
	I thought Australia didn't exist.
	They went after him for slander or like what do you call it?
	Like when you sued the SPLC defamation.
	Defamation.
	Defamation.
	People didn't call them out by their names.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	That's not like you went up and said, okay, these parents or this couple of this.
	It seems like a very simple free speech thing.
	Yeah.
	I mean, just because you have the judgment against him.
	Like, I'm against him getting a fine, but just like with Max and John, like, if you are going to punish them, I don't know.
	Community service, four days in jail.
	What should his fine be that his negligence led to someone getting harassed?
	I don't know.
	A $1,000 fine?
	Fucking he can't go on the air for a week?
	A billion dollars?
	What?
	That's what a corporation has to pay if they create a chain of water parks and the water parks decapitate people.
	There was a kid, I forget the water park.
	Action Park.
	He lifted up his head.
	He got his head cut off.
	The parents got $25 million, which, by the way, is the same as, I think, that ugly chick from Fox News who sued Bill Riley.
	That's, I guess, the ballpark of these crazy cases.
	And that's a dead child, by the way.
	A billion dollars?
	Like, a billion dollars is like Philip Morris, class action suit, Pfizer smoking, and long cancer.
	It's Pfizer with OxyContin.
	It's not a guy with his own show who allegedly got something wrong.
	This is groundbreaking.
	It's going to set a bad precedent.
	But you're going to have to pay me for a theory.
	But even still, I mean, just because you get a judgment lean against him, most people, you don't have to pay.
	Fuck the judgment.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	Yeah, O.J. Simpson apparently never paid one red cent, as Anthony said.
	He said it's a civil suit.
	It's not criminal.
	By the way, speaking of our buddy Ant and his show, this is the clip.
	Two minutes, 17 seconds.
	Are we ready for extreme violence, blood, and murder?
	Juice.
	Jose.
	Four times in the thread.
	Did he apologize to you personally?
	No.
	All right.
	Would you like my number now?
	Huh?
	Garrett, do you have the thread?
	Would you like to know?
	Now you're telling Garrett what to do, but you can't tell him to take out my number, you fucking faggot.
	I didn't think it was a problem.
	Oh, Jesus.
	No, no, no.
	No fighting.
	Shut the door.
	Close all airtight doors.
	Close all airtight doors.
	No, no.
	Oh, my God.
	I just made it in time.
	Holy shit.
	Bravo to the producers, by the way, for keeping the angles where they ought to be.
	Oh, my God.
	This is so much better than hood fights where you can't see anything.
	Do you not want us to show the thread where I apologize for you?
	How about that?
	Fuck this.
	Fuck this.
	No, no, no.
	Come on, Kevin.
	Joy Gino.
	Gino's got all the answers.
	He always does.
	Oh, Kevin.
	Kevin.
	Oh, Kevin.
	No, no, no.
	It's so.
	Oh, my God.
	He's like a black woman in a Wawa.
	Kevin.
	You breaking the camera?
	That'd be a big deal, man.
	That thing is fucking expensive.
	Don't hit him.
	Don't punch him.
	Don't punch Gino.
	Don't punch him.
	You can't have assaults happen on this.
	On this.
	Oh, my God.
	The security camera.
	The security camera.
	13th of October.
	Both of October.
	I'm so glad E-Rock's here to take care of this.
	Oh, my God.
	Wait a minute.
	He's coming through the door.
	Trying to break the glass.
	I don't have a problem with me breaking this, do you?
	No, no.
	That's Gino's fucking logic.
	Breaking what?
	Breaking the camera.
	No, no, you can't break the camera.
	I don't have a problem with it.
	Do you?
	No, I would have a problem with it.
	Gino's logic.
	I don't have a problem giving out my number.
	Why shouldn't?
	Imagine Anthony just, you know what?
	And he just gets up and lays him out.
	I'd be like, oh, shit.
	I mean, I wouldn't want that to happen, of course.
	I feel like Ant's one of these guys who get him mad.
	You keep pushing and pushing and pushing.
	He's like, that's fine.
	We're joking.
	No.
	And then if you grab that camera and smash it, he'd be like, click.
	He's on testosterone.
	He's a pit bull now.
	Yeah, he's a pit bull.
	And Kevin's a toddler.
	But we already been through.
	No, no numbers.
	No, he's still.
	I still get a fucking door because he's a faggot.
	Look at him.
	He's a fucking dick.
	Everybody calls him.
	Oh, I don't have a problem because you don't have a problem.
	I'll fucking kill you, you fucking faggot.
	Oh, oh, oh, no, no.
	Oh, no.
	Those are like $800 mics.
	Yeah, I was going to say, that's an expensive mic.
	There he goes.
	Fucking faggot.
	You're a fucking faggot nigger, I assume?
	I assume so.
	Well, that's what he addressed him as when he first started, the argument.
	That's not his actual god-given name.
	Sure, those are not my pronouns?
	Yes, those are.
	Juicy gossip over at Compound.
	Nice, juicy.
	It really is a ship of fools over there.
	Great network.
	I love all the shows.
	They're great.
	But yeah.
	I love Chrissy Mayor.
	That was my previous alma mater.
	Okay.
	Does that count?
	Sure.
	Yeah.
	I just want to say that.
	Yeah, you can say it.
	I want an alma mater.
	There you go, folks.
	We got the gossip.
	I hope I'm not shit with Anthony for showing that.
	Oh, well.
	I wouldn't think so.
	No, because the tweet said we'll show it later.
	It's going to be on demand later.
	That's the show.
	We went five minutes over.
	I'm very punctual.
	Tomorrow we'll have an awesome show.
	$100.
	Oh, shit.
	Gavin is a dick, but this is for the boy.
	$100.
	Touching.
	We're $1,000 away, boys.
	From giving a bunch of money to Max and John when they get out.
	Why not give that to them now?
	I don't know.
	I trust everyone around them, but I would rather just give it to the actual human being.
	Yeah, that'll feel better.
	That's the best thing to do.
	This way you know it got to where it was supposed to go.
	Yeah.
	And if they fuck it up and they lose it, that's on them.
	It's on them.
	They can trick it up any way they want.
	So that's it.
	We'll see you tomorrow.
	Oh, yeah.
	20th and 24th.
	I'm gone for two days for the Chicago show, two days for the Penn State show.
	So we'll have banked episodes.
	It'll be fun.
	Don't worry.
	We won't rip you up.
	You'll get tons of good shit, but it might not be two hours.
	I like you more than a friend.
	I'll see you tomorrow.
	And until we meet again, get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	Things start getting a little bit more.
	Fucking good, you fucking rat, stomped, fucking bad.
	Dave said he's not having one, cause he's got work tomorrow.
	What if I were to say I want to be a toad?
	We're all a bit skinned at the moment, so to keep things lively, I want to be a woman.

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