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Sept. 30, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:29:56
S04E170 - GABE AGENDA
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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
I'm the trouble starter, pumpkin instigator.
I'm the fear addictive, danger illustrator.
I'm the fire starter, twisted fire starter.
Recognize him?
You're the fire starter, twisted fire starter.
Gene Simmons.
I'm the fire starter, twisted fire starter.
Are there any other lyrics?
I'm the bitch you hated, filthy infatuated.
I'm the pain you tasted, feeling intoxicated.
He's got a pimp cop, he's a pimp.
I'm a fire starter, twisted fire starter.
We'll be right back.
That was Gene Simmons doing Firestarter by Prodigy.
It's just your dad doing shit karaoke, as one commenter said.
He's also so awesome and such a cool guy that he has, what, like about a hundred hot chicks at his house.
So what do you do?
You fuck one or two.
Say you have a threesome.
That's what, 20 minutes max, right?
And now you got a bunch of chicks you got to hang out with.
I don't want to go to that party.
We talked about this before with some other hip-hop video that was like 95% chicks.
I mean, after you fuck them, you're just at a sorority house.
Yeah, and you have to make sure like none of them drink more than like four wine coolers.
And then puke and then fall and hit their head open, split their head open on the pool.
Oh, look at that house.
Did you see those railings?
So I'm looking at this terrible, super embarrassing video, and I'm like, wait a minute, that house reminds me of another incredibly embarrassing video, which is Tommy Lee's Good Things.
Starring probably the most beautiful one I've ever seen in my life.
That's at the same house.
It must be the house where you shoot retarded videos for millionaire losers.
Put down the magazine and get off the old.
It's a place I want to show you and it won't take long.
Okay, stop.
Look how insanely hot that chick is.
She's dressed like a retard, of course.
That's a 10.
That's my favorite kind of face.
The other ones aren't exactly dogs either.
Look at the cheesy way they're dressed.
Look at this floppy Fournon blondes hat.
Ugh.
Everything's so cheap too.
It's like hot topic flip-flops.
Hey, you guys want to come to my awesome house that Gene Simmons did Firestarter at?
If someone's that rich, why would they rent their house out to cheese balls?
Got myself worked up.
This is his second solo album.
We made fun of this relentlessly when it came up.
Whoa, I even like black chicks.
Oh, I forgot why I left one in the trunk.
Sometimes I cry.
That's my favorite part.
That's my favorite part lyric-wise, song-wise.
He's always got red toenails.
But my favorite part video-wise is when he's suddenly in the ocean and he sees...
And he sees a shark.
Oh, there's one other dude there.
And he goes, what the fuck?
And looks at us.
It's coming up.
Sometimes I cry.
Does he write these songs?
Why is he coming out of the ocean like that?
Imagine being at that video shoot when he screamed at the camera.
Why the hell can't I sleep?
Okay, this is it.
Take me away, wait.
Oh, there's a shark right next to you, dude.
Isn't that a problem?
Aren't you scared?
Look at me.
Look at me.
Oh.
What?
That was so cheesy, it feels like all the blood has left my body.
I feel weak.
He just saw himself swimming with sharks and then looked at me and said, what?
What?
Anyway, good times.
Is that goo-goo douche?
Sometimes a crap.
Sometimes I crap.
What's up, dicker?
Arrgh!
So that black tape thing is still going.
Old, ugly guys like myself simping on those black tape chicks.
And someone sent in a girl that's even hotter than the one we said was a tent.
Now, again, I don't want to open up a Pandora's box of fighting on one-to-tens, especially because Ant isn't here to defend himself.
But Anthony's allegation would be: because I found more of a tent than the woman called a tent, that other one's now a 9.9.
Now, would you open up the both tens?
Would you open Pandora's box if her name was Pandora?
Yes, I would eat Pandora's box.
I would stick my whole fucking head in Pandora's box.
Look at those crazy, fat, floppy tits that are going in different directions.
This is a 10.
And it's a 10 because if you were God, you wouldn't improve a thing.
Would you push your tits closer together?
Nope.
No, I like them cockeyed like that, flopping around.
Is the video there of her walking and you get to see them flop and plop?
Unfortunately, we do have footage of the flop and plop.
You know what the German word for Brazier is?
What's that?
Dascha stop him from flopping?
I did know that, actually, yes.
It's very long.
We just say bros.
I studied German.
Oh, my word.
There's no audio.
Is that okay?
No, it's not okay.
Then turn it off.
Look at those things.
And then you go, well, the ass is going to suck.
Nope.
It's perfect also.
This is a perfect specimen.
Wow.
What the hell is that?
If you had an affair with her and your wife found out, she'd probably go, I get it.
Just don't do it again.
Speaking of chicks and all the things they love, sometimes I'll get lost on Twitter and I'll end up in a fag zone or a chick zone.
Same zone, really.
And both these groups watch a lot of reality TV.
I don't watch any, so I don't know about this shit.
But wow, when you check in on reality TV, you realize they watch some utter garbage.
Like, look at this mental patient do a PSA for seat belts like she's on acid.
Listen to this black woman explain.
I don't know what show this is.
Bravo Insider, first look.
Is the show called Bravo Insider?
No.
That must be a look at Bravo shows.
I don't know what show this is.
One of the members in our church, like when their daughter, like had a crash.
Today, like last night.
And she was ejected from the sunroof and fell down into a neighborhood.
Stop.
Already it's gold.
She had a crash.
Fall down into the.
It's like she died and then they're keeping her alive with electrodes.
She had a crash and she fell.
What do you mean she fell down into a neighborhood?
What blade runner universe is this?
The car went upside down.
She somehow ripped through the sunroof, which I'm not sure is even possible.
Like even if you're rolling a car, I see the impact to push you out the windshield, but there's not really rolling scrunches the sunroof when you're upside down.
So I think you're wrong, my dear.
Even if you're making this up, you got to say they're on the highway on an overpass and she shot through the windshield on an impact.
Someone's going the wrong way.
And she shot over the other car, went over the overpass, and ended up in this sort of strip mall.
Maybe, but she went through the sunroof and landed in a neighborhood?
No, she didn't.
Why didn't you?
Like last night.
And she was ejected from the sunroof and fell down into a neighborhood.
30 feet drop off the freeway.
Is she still alive?
No.
No.
I'm excited to be here.
Where are your seatbelt?
What is that show?
Scroll down in the comments and see if we can know what show that is.
Because I want to know what it is.
What was Wendy Williams reporting on death?
I don't know.
She probably laughed.
Whitney.
What is...
Oh, so it's a real housewife somewhere.
Maybe like Beverly Hills or some shit?
Can I keep going?
No, you gotta hit the more replies.
Whitney and Heather?
Let me see.
Okay, now look up Whitney and Heather Housewives.
Bravo.
That should get you there.
What the fuck is that show?
I mean, I get the appeal.
There was a while I was trying to get into my wife's pants, and the best way to do that is to watch the show.
So I watch Real Housewives of New York, Roni, Rahoney, I guess.
And remember, with acronyms, they have to be pronounceable.
CIA is not SIA.
FBI is not Fibi.
They're not acronyms.
Salt Lake City.
Interesting.
Now YouTube, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, maybe because they can't drink, they're all on weird pills.
So she was like way too high on Adderall.
And she realized, shit, I'm on TV.
Is it obvious?
I even forgot this story.
One of them has an eye patch.
Maybe that's her phone.
We need Whitney or whoever that was that we just saw.
Yeah, let's see.
That looks like her.
That's her, yeah.
That was it in that one?
Oh, this is a little bit of everybody here.
I like the little sayings they come out with the beginning.
My name's Gavin and I'm known as a Nazi, but that's a big lie.
I make millions.
Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do for money.
I'm like the Wizard of Oz.
Lisa and I met the first Sundance that I lived in Utah.
I know she has my back.
I know she wants what's best for me.
I know there's no speaking of chick culture.
This is her.
Apparently, she's got a bunch of weird moments, too.
Okay, Mary Cosby's.
I love God, but I will read you like a scripture.
When you call my name, it's like a little.
Wait, this talk's about lesbians eating each other's pussies.
Yeah.
It's taking your lesbian girlfriend to heaven by eating her pussy so it's a place of rescue.
Wait so.
And it's the place where love should always be.
are these fucking eyelashes everywhere now?
I don't want to have a lot of people around me.
Oh, shit!
What is that?
Can we just start over?
Oh, that wasn't so great.
Oh, wait, it's still going.
I can't go skiing without a beautiful outfit.
What the fucking hell?
Excuse me, has happened here.
I love fashion for an escape.
It's a mental escape.
Escape?
So I have a revision.
Yeah, you sell that.
It used to be a cape, but you can use whatever you want with the fabrics.
You can just repurpose it.
That's just cloth.
It's like a department store.
No way.
My office upstairs is completely full of clothes.
The storage room and Robert Sr. have two closets in his bedroom.
Both of them are full of my clothes.
Like every single Chanel?
He's buying it for me.
I ever have to buy myself anything.
Uh-huh.
Mary is weird.
Oh, my God.
My dad passed away in April.
I'm sorry.
Mine did too.
I'm so.
Yeah.
You prefer white guys?
I mean, you're married to a black guy.
Well, he's white.
You guys are drinking?
So she's just non-stop saying the creepy.
Hey, don't give up.
I'm having a great time.
5,600 people died, and it made the best grapes of all time.
I love that he died.
Let's take that back.
You guys are drinking Dom Perignon.
5,600 people died, and they made the best wine of all time.
You guys are drinking.
Oh, there you are.
2003.
In 2003, it was a heat wave.
5,600 people died.
And it made the best grapes of all time.
Oh, I love that.
What a take.
Wow.
Jen and I used to be good.
Until I said it smelled like hospital.
She came into the restaurant and she like hugged me and laid all on me and I was like We find out she has to get both legs amputated.
I don't know what you want me to do about your aunt.
Her legs are gone.
Why are you getting your legs cut off at six feet?
That means your diet's bad.
You know, it's just like she didn't eat right.
Like, drink water.
Like, okay.
Did you say, why are you getting your legs gone?
Imagine she was the surgeon involved.
We're just going through your file here.
I think we're going to have to get your legs gone.
I'm sorry.
What do you mean?
They going to get lost?
Yeah, your legs going to get lost.
They're going to get gone.
Your legs going to get.
We're living in idiocracy.
I have a collection.
I was going to do a green screen until I realized we've already covered this.
I have about 100 pictures of people putting the dollar sign on the wrong side.
Can you just show it briefly, Ryan, even though we've already covered it?
Sure, sure.
Because I keep, I added two this morning.
One from our own website.
Now, I don't know if they're trying to antagonize me because they know it hurts me deeply.
When you, like, insult me or you talk about things that you think are sacred to me and you're like, this guy sucks or whatever, and you try to find these weak points, and I'm just like, fuck off, dude, I don't care.
But if you really want to hurt me, do this.
We already covered him.
I think we covered her.
That was ancient Chinese.
If it says 21, it's probably ancient Chinese.
Yeah, we covered that.
Covered that, yeah.
Yeah, we covered that guy.
And then there's this idiot who's super smart that Chance the Rapper wants to meet now because he's so smart.
You can pause that and read it if you're bored.
And then what's next?
$58.00.
Wow.
Keep going.
This one, you zoomed in too much.
$30 a day.
And as I keep saying, the thing that hurts me the most besides the fact that the English language is dying is that you don't read.
So that doesn't look weird to you.
And if dollar sign on the other side of the number doesn't look weird to you, it means you spend more time reading garbage Twitter than you do anything else.
That hurts me because that's the end of society.
And then this one, what is it?
So even like metalheads, what do you, Anyway.
Oh, this black woman had $200 worth of curl products.
That one's from like a few days ago.
I'm running up another one here where Timmy Poole did it.
Oh, Tim did it?
Tim Poole did it.
When you said Tim Poole did it, I thought you meant Tim Pool talked about this terrible phenomenon.
Guys, they're putting it on the wrong side.
And it turns out I'm doing it too.
Even Chinks are getting it wrong?
Sorry, Tim's a gook.
That's unfair.
That's right.
Oh, this guy, this is from this morning.
This guy's a mental patient who wrote a book about how evil General Flynn is.
General Flynn is suing him.
So he had a fucking panic attack and ended up in the hospital.
But look at this.
$250 million and then dollar sign.
Dude, you just put dollar sign $250 and then an M, and we're good.
This one is somebody wrote in and they said maybe the reason why you don't like it is because Pepsis do that even in official documents.
Yeah, I don't mind Pepsis doing that.
It's fine in France.
That's what they do in France.
So the Quebecois are adopting the French France stuff.
French people get a pass, whether they're in Quebec or France.
This one, they say it's an exception because it's in $2006.
Yep, that's fair.
That's a totally different apple-orange kind of deal.
It's not $2006.
That's from, I don't know, yesterday?
I literally will pay.
Yeah, that's from yesterday, $10 a month for this show.
That's our own people.
Is that to fuck with me?
Oh, my fucking God.
You're all retarded.
That's an old one.
All right, so let's get back to her for a second.
Oh, the retard?
Yeah.
Okay.
Friday's a silly day.
Yeah.
They'll get over it.
Just digest it.
You're going to go with Mary who fits your grandfather?
What?
I heard that.
There's something about me you find fascinating because I'm always in your mouth.
He's in my goddamn motherfucking house.
Mary is crazy.
Wait, is that true?
Yeah, why don't we identify the elephant in the room?
Did you fuck her grandfather?
We're halfway through the video.
The rest of the video should be based on that allegation.
Right.
Also, Mary Cosby being cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Those women are old.
They're like 50.
They're my age.
So the grandfather.
Wait a minute.
The dad's going to be 70.
The grandfather's going to be 90.
Well, we don't know when this happened.
Well, I hope it happened a long-ass time ago because if you're 90, what?
Her true feelings on marrying her step-grandfather.
You lut.
What the fuck?
Wow, this woman is...
Didn't Denzel Washington do that?
Huh?
Someone else did that.
Oh, um.
Are you thinking of Morgan Freeman?
Yeah, Morgan Freeman.
That's it.
Sorry, Denzel.
Hi.
The fact of the matter remains that they are afraid of Jen, and all of them.
So, except me.
Whitney, shut the f up.
That's not necessary.
It's not necessary.
It's not necessary!
You can turn down right now, you're all being.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
No.
I got Stockholm Syndrome, now this is my new show.
I warned these women.
I did.
I warned these women about Jen.
So if you choose not to listen, then whatever happens to you, deserve it.
How do you understand crazy?
Everyone in Salt Lake City knows the story about Mary and her step-grandfather.
We were kind of a, I would say, arranged marriage.
Kind of in my grandma's will for us to marry.
She wanted you to marry her husband.
Are there receipts?
No.
There's no receipts.
My mom felt like she was the one that should have been marrying Robert Sr. and the wedding night was everything was weird.
Did you guys sleep together the first night?
No.
She told Robert as well?
No.
She did not?
No.
She said, if anything ever happens to me, Bobby, I want you to marry one of my girls because they'll look out for you.
How did he find out that that was yours?
You can look out for your grandparents without.
Yeah, I'm happy to look out for any young person that's in my immediate or family or friends.
I'll look after my grandparents.
We prayed about it for two years and we felt like it was God's will.
Gippley.
We're blessed this day because of it.
I think going to church is a great opportunity for him to be in your community.
That looks like that country stars rock alter ego.
Oh, Chris Gaines.
I'm good, friend.
Let God be your friends.
How feels good?
Mary, what was your opinion on Jed not trusting Andrew?
You fell asleep?
No, I think right on the back.
She's gold.
She fell asleep at the Bravo.
There we go.
Can you get this home?
Can you get this?
Jim?
Wendy?
Can you get this?
Wendy?
Well, that was a very touching grace.
Did you see that?
She tried to eat the fake snow.
She was eating the fake snow in the studio.
Oh, my God.
Is she crazy or just the lowest IQ you've ever seen in an adult?
All right.
Last thing on chick culture.
This Midwestern chick was bitching about candles.
Now, I want you to understand when someone who is really into candles says they're looking for two cents, they don't mean money.
They mean smells.
She's a smell collector.
It's like a fire starter.
I'm the smell collector.
Psychosmatic, gotta insane.
So this woman has memorized the Midwesterners diatribe with a plom.
It's perfect.
Hello, everybody.
This is going to be extremely explicit.
So if you don't like swearing or angry people from Wisconsin, then turn your mother effing camera off now.
She just said it's going to be explicit and then didn't say motherfucking.
I'm so mad right now.
You guys literally have no idea.
I was shaking.
Like, for the past hour, I have been shaking to the point where I couldn't even make a video because I was so mad.
So let me backtrack.
If you guys have been watching my videos, you all know that I have been searching high and low ever since they had the candle sale or 20 candles at Bath and Body Works.
I have been searching for two cents.
I have been searching for the winter candy apple.
And the iced gingerbread.
Iced gingerbread.
This is the last day of the season.
Both very chilly smells.
Yeah.
I have been calling my store.
It's weird because gingerbread is cozy, but this is iced.
Yeah.
Okay.
Appleton, Wisconsin.
I want everybody to know this happened in Appleton.
Appleton's now.
She's been calling my store.
She just ruined that.
Every day for the past week wanting these two cents.
I want winter candy, apple, iced gingerbread.
They were supposed to come out.
They were launching in the stores October 29th, so they were supposed to be out.
I've been calling Green Bay, Appleton, Fond du Lac, and the Outlet.
No, gosh.
All four stores don't have.
So wait a minute.
You get the idea with that one.
But here's a better version where some ladies, I love women.
This is the thing about women.
And I get a lot of shit for pronouncing women weird.
I'm not changing the way I pronounce women.
I've lived all over the world.
I've been born in England, raised in Canada.
There's going to be some weird words.
I'm not going to try to align myself with the local accents, especially living in the Bronx.
If I was truer to my environment, I'd talk like Cardi B, which is the lowest IQ accent in the world.
But when women are women and they're not trying to be men, like when they're fucking female cops with their, I saw a picture of a MIPD female cop, black woman.
Her gun looked upside down, and then you look closer and you realize, no, her whole belt is upside down.
So when women try to be men, they make shitty men.
When women just enjoy their womanness, it's pretty awesome and very likable.
And here they are making fun of each other.
And I go up to the register with my two candles.
And my mom did her transaction first.
And I'm like, hi.
I'm like, I was the person who called.
Can you please, you know, get my candles?
Because I'm just going to exchange them.
And the woman looked at me really funny.
And she's like, she was really a bitch to me.
The woman, the first woman who helped me out, she had blonde hair.
I don't know her name.
But she was kind of rude to me.
And she's like, I really don't know anything about that.
And I'm like, oh, no, that's no problem.
I'm like, I'm sure the manager knows.
Not a big deal.
And she's like, okay, well, I'm going to help the person in back of you first.
And she's like, just wait a minute.
So then she leaves and goes to get the manager, comes back and says they're not in the store.
And I'm like, oh, no, no, no.
I just, I just talked to somebody like a half an hour ago and they said that they were going to get them right away and come back.
She's like, we didn't leave yet.
And I'm like, you didn't leave yet?
I'm like, I called about a half an hour ago.
I'm like, they should be here.
And she said, we've just been really busy.
I look around.
There's barely anybody in the freaking store.
Is that Elijah Schaefer?
There's barely anybody in the store because Peckers are playing today and everybody is at home watching TV where iPods.
It's Elijah Schaefer.
Did you know I met Elijah Schaefer when I was in Dallas?
Do you know he's a fucking giant?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He looks like a little short, fat guy.
He's ripped.
You know you met him before, right?
Yeah, I guess so.
But I guess I forgot.
He's like 6'4 with a huge chest, giant arms.
Yeah.
With a little egg on the top of his gigantic body.
But he looks like a short, little fat slub.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's true.
So I said, okay.
She said, let me talk to my manager.
So she goes back, talks to the manager, comes back out, okay?
Well, the girl is leaving right now to get your candles.
So, yeah, the girl's leaving right now.
And I'm like, okay, I'm like, well, I'm not going anywhere else in the mall.
I am here just for the sole purpose of getting these candles.
So I'm going to wait right here.
She's like, okay, well, I'll just help the next customer in back of you.
And I'm like, okay.
So I'm waiting.
Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting.
About 15 minutes later, Miss Jen, manager Jen, comes out and says, I am so, so sorry.
I honestly thought that we had your candles at our off-site store, but we only have the small four ounces in.
Oh, shit.
That's it.
That kind of reminds me of this thing.
Have you seen this?
*BOOM*
Wait, I need to know if she got her candles.
I'm sure she'd be okay with the four ouncers.
Right.
You like them in small doses until they can get more of the winter apple candy and the iced gingerbread man.
Right?
Go back to the original one.
See if it's longer.
I saw my mom get it.
No, the original one, the one for the first time.
In the stores October 29th, so they were supposed to be out.
I've been calling Green Bay, Appleton, Fond du Lac, and the Outlet.
No, gosh.
All four stores don't have Bellini.
That's not what makes me mad.
She kicked me off a little bit, but I thought, eh, they'll eventually come in.
No big whoop.
So I have to calm down because this gets really bad here.
So.
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
We'll never know.
I guess this is the Orig.
The Orig.
What's her name?
Peach Bellini?
Yeah, that might be a screen name.
How many views does it have?
3 million, actually.
3 million.
Did you get your candles?
Hello, everybody.
I might boycott Bath and Body Washer.
Bed, Bath, and Body Works.
I love the Beyond.
You can see the rebels.
Bed, Bath, and Body Works.
Send me on.
Just to let you guys know, traffic-wise and things, it was a really busy day because the Packers were playing.
This is the only good thing that happened.
I think the Packers won.
I don't know.
I've been busy taking care of bitches all fucking day.
Is this the same one?
A live person, and you can explain to them what happened.
The whole truth.
This is her.
The whole truth.
AZ4Angelo.
Oh, that is her.
Wow, it shows you how different a woman can be from her avatar.
Whoa.
So we don't know if she got those candles.
Yeah.
We may never know.
Well, go back to that video you were just at.
Yeah, maybe there's a description.
P.S. I did get my candles.
Oh, there.
That's all we need to know.
So help me, baby Jesus.
Update.
They sent me both candles for the bad service.
They did not fire Jen, as far as I know.
So we know what I think.
I think Jen and the other girl there were fucking with her.
I bet she comes in every day and they're like, here's that fucking crazy fat blonde bitch again.
And they said, let's just torture her.
Yeah.
So yeah, we're going to go.
We have an off-site location.
We're going to go get them.
And then you just like look at your phone for a while and take care of some errands.
What a piece of crap.
I'm pro-her.
But this reminds me of this, for some reason, the speech thing.
It's really bad weather we're having.
Yeah, it's terrible.
Yeah, it's awful.
What the fuck is going on?
Who are you?
What do you want?
Nothing.
Just saying hi.
What the fuck is wrong with your mouth?
Get out of here!
Nothing.
You know how to get to Hollywood Boulevard from here?
What?
Yo, where do you believe?
What do you mean?
Yeah, foreign people, that would absolutely work on.
Here's a question for you, Ryan.
Okay.
I love questions.
Is this level of crying acceptable?
Okay.
As a crier, I'll be sure to tell you my thoughts.
It's your wedding day.
Okay.
So when I'm all too divined, I can't find the words.
Just like a reunion wedding where you've never seen the person before?
Who does he look like?
Like he's crying because he's never going to get to be with his buddies anymore.
I mean, they're really hamming it up, you know?
I like the way the other guy's laughing.
The other guy looks like Rain Wilson.
The other guy's a very drama club kid.
Who does he look like?
Huh.
Is it like those two guys, Burt Kreischer and the other guy?
Yeah, with Burt Kreischer, he looks like.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I see that.
Okay, so here's the deal.
The other guy is unacceptable.
That weird crying-laugh drama club thing he's doing.
That's fucking annoying.
And you don't have to turn someone around like that.
That's gay.
But on your wedding day?
No, fuck it.
No.
You know what?
Unless she didn't have legs, like her legs were gone.
And then she got new legs.
Yeah.
Or maybe she'd never, she was in a coma when he proposed, and she hadn't, she hadn't come out of the coma in 17 years.
Or this is the first time he's ever seen.
He's been blind, and then they did a surgery right there, and then he turned.
Oh, yeah, that's fine.
Or if she was like, she had Kermit the Frog legs, and then he turns around and she's like, hi, how are you?
Yes.
That made it.
Then good.
Then fine.
Now you can't, the groom cannot cry under any circumstances.
Sorry.
You know what I did at my wedding to avoid crying?
I got into like the hardcore mode.
When I say hardcore, I mean the music.
So I was like at a show.
Like I was in uniform choice or something.
I was straight edge.
So I was just standing like at the side of the mosh pit.
Like there was like a bunch of people.
And here's another random clip, Fleckas.
I was at a school.
And look at the weird passive-aggressive inability to do confrontation that we have with the kids today.
Just bleeding out tropes like a sheep with no hide nor hair of what logic is or what an argument is.
Absolutely pathetic.
Politics is fashion with most people, but especially young people, especially college students.
So they don't want Ben Shapiro doing a talk there because he's homophobic and racist.
No one's going to like you, especially not here.
Like maybe there's like a different crowd.
Maybe you should go talk to white supremacists.
I don't know what your thing is.
Do you have a white supremacist?
No, I don't know what it is.
I have a good guess.
What'd you guess?
I don't know.
I think that was probably my first one.
Those assumptions.
European assumptions?
That's not a problem.
A metaphor?
No, no.
It's a metaphor.
Calling me a white supremacist is a metaphor.
Yeah.
Tell me what he's done out of those things.
Texas.
Anti-gay.
Is that fucking like anti-Nick Fuentes?
Bizarro Fuentes?
They just keep repeating this chant.
It's a cult.
Here she comes and spray the lights in my face.
No one's going to like you.
Maybe white supremacist.
I don't know.
Maybe like, I don't know if you're like a white supremacist.
Wow.
And then finally, before we start the show, fucking Iran is lit, man.
It's really exciting what's going on there.
Love to see it.
Here's my theory with Iran.
When was the revolution?
79?
communists the socialists were taking over the regime right and they this is Oh, my, stop, stop.
Maybe get past that part.
That's a bunch of Iranian porn that they just threw in.
CrazyShit.com is not very reliable as an adult news source.
But while they were fighting, whatever you call it, the czar, the regime, the monarchy, they said, hey, priests, can you guys just hold our spot there in the government until we're ready to start building a new society?
And then the priests, of course, were the Muslim clerics.
That's the one they say is a PSYOP neocon American, which I'm fine with.
And then when they were done, the revolution, they turned to the government and said, okay, move, we got to go build our constitution now.
And the Muslim, religious, hyper-Orthodox clerics go, yeah, no, we're not leaving.
In fact, we're turning this whole place into the Quran.
And that's why Iran went back in time and all of a sudden women had hijabs and all this shit.
they're really going for it.
*Sexy music*
No, you're not going to take it.
Finally, a good riot you can get behind.
You don't have to be ugly.
It's because you're anti-Islam.
Fucking people wiping out on scooters, lighting shit on fire, pissing off the authoritarians, the regime, Ayatollah Khomeini.
Is he still around?
Whatever Ayatollah they got now.
I don't want to rule or conquer anything.
We all want to help one another.
Human beings are.
Want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery.
So, look, there's a scene here in Iran where the authorities are storming a house and they're looking down from their apartment.
It's exactly the same like a scene from Schindler's List.
Oh, wow.
Or the piano or whatever movie that is.
Oh, shit.
It's the exact same.
That's crazy.
Scene by scene.
they didn't do this part.
We think too much and feel too little.
We think too much and feel too little.
I don't know.
Damn.
All right.
Let's start the show with.
We're not going to do the monster truck.
We're just going to jump right into my pet Biden.
Oh, yeah.
Hit it.
Biden.
On him I can depend my pet.
Biden.
A monster of the president.
He's big and loose.
Sleepy.
But a friendly monster too.
My pet.
Biden.
Wait, what?
That doesn't rhyme.
Sorry, folks.
And then here she comes.
Oops.
My wife made this beef stew last night, and I had it for lunch today.
So it's really salty, so I'm very thirsty, but it was the best fucking beef stew I've ever had in my life.
Choice meat cuts, a can of Guinness inside, and then she made homemade biscuits that you dip into the greasy sauce.
Woo!
Dang.
Every morning.
Potatoes.
And the potatoes are sitting in there boiling around.
So they suck up all the juiciness.
Was it salty because she did this prank on you?
Oh, you saw this?
It's like the bare minimum amount of sauce to cover the salt.
It's alright.
Yeah, you just can't.
What did he say?
It's all right.
You want to see a good one?
Check out 2-8.
Fucking 2-8.
You can see how pussy-whipped some black households are.
Yeah.
Oh, here's the recipe.
But it's chili.
You let me know if you like this, okay?
Guys.
You like that?
It's just a little bit different.
I think I just added maybe like three or four different types of things.
One time?
Add some more.
Yeah, I do.
It's like I don't want my son to get hurt.
Some more meat and sauce?
There's lots of meat in there.
And sauce.
Did you know in Texas they only have meat in their chili?
There's no beans?
Yes.
Apparently, that's the only type of chili.
That's real chili.
If you put it in the back of the corner.
But go back.
They're missing the best part.
He nudges his son.
Don't fucking.
You like it?
Chirp you up a little bit.
Oh, this is going to be one of my favorites then.
Pretty good.
Goes to reach for the popcorn.
He's like, I don't want popcorn.
That's salty as fuck.
Look at his hand.
Can I have a watermelon?
That wasn't racial.
No.
So, Jackie Wilinski, we talked about this yesterday.
Jackie Lewinsky was a rep in Indiana, Republican congresswoman, right?
Yes, she was the ranking member of the House Ethics Committee.
And not 17 years ago, but like a month ago, she got into a brutal, a month and a half ago, August 3rd, she got into a brutal car accident, like head-on collision.
Everyone in the car is dead.
Biden sends a statement, oh my God, I'm so sorry to hear about this.
You ran our prayers.
We'll name something after you, even though you're dead.
I guess I'm sending this to your family.
Sends a nice message.
And then two days ago, I guess it was, he said, Jackie, are you here?
No?
Officials like Representative Governor, Senator Braun, Senator Booker, Representative.
Jackie, are you here?
Where's Jackie?
I think she was going to be here to help make this a reality.
Can you explain where the mistake was made?
Was the president confused?
Was something written in the teleprompter that he didn't recognize?
Can you just help?
I mean, you're jumping to a lot of conclusions.
No, but you're not.
No, I hear you, Stephen.
I'm answering the question that you're jumping to a lot of conclusions.
I just answered the question.
If that had been the case, I would have stated that, right?
I would clearly have stated that.
Okay, so what's the angle?
What you just said.
What I had said is that she was on top of mind and that she's going to see her family.
Top of the mind to you.
Top of the mind.
I've never heard that expression, top of mind.
What is it from the 10s?
Are we still watching that Mary compilation?
Top of mind?
Were her legs gone?
To honor her.
To honor her work.
Not eating right.
Was Biden not drinking enough water?
I wish I could find the damn meme.
It's Biden in front of a Ouija board.
He's like, Jackie, are you here?
Jackie.
Very good.
He was thinking about her as he was naming out and calling out the congressional champions on this issue, on this really critical issue that's going to help Milton.
Okay, so that is a good excuse if he was sitting there and he went, oh, Jackie, Jackie.
Sorry.
Where was I?
Then it's a good excuse.
She's top of mind.
You were remembering her.
He didn't say that.
He said, Jackie, are you here?
I thought you were going to be here.
Is exactly what he said.
What a pathetic excuse.
Terrible.
Terrible.
Tabble.
Terrible.
And that is what the president was focused on.
So then they keep grilling her.
And they say, John Lennon is top of mind for me.
I don't go asking for him.
Go to 2-0.
Confusing.
I mean, I think many people can speak to sometimes when you have someone top of mind.
I don't find that confusing.
I mean, I think many people can speak to sometimes when you have someone top of mind.
They're a top of mind.
Exactly that.
And it is also, if you put it into the context, it's not like it happened outside of context, right?
It happened at an event where we were congressional champions in particular of this issue, this important issue when it comes to food insecurity, something that this administration has led on from the beginning of this administration, not just across the country, but also globally.
You heard him talk about food insecurity last week at the UN and the investments that we have put forward as the United States of America and helping deal with that.
Look, he was at an event you all saw, you all watched, which is why you're asking the question, right, where he was calling out, again, congressional leaders, a bipartisan leadership that we have seen on this particular issue.
Wait, stop.
If you want to talk about sayings, calling out is bad.
Are you calling me out for being a hypocrite?
You don't call out someone in a good way.
So if you don't know the most basic of colloquialisms, how do you know top of mind?
It must be Shakespearean.
No, go back.
Again, he's going to see her family in just two days, and she was on top of mind.
I mean, I don't, that is, I mean, that is not an unusual scenario there.
I have John Lennon top of mind just about every day, but I'm not looking around for him anyway.
When you sign a bill for John Lennon as president, then we can have this conversation.
Okay, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Wouldn't that be funny if that reporter became president and he signed some sort of John Bill, John Lennon bill, the Imagine Bill?
And it was all about world peace, and then he tracked her down and he goes, okay, I signed the bill.
Let's talk.
Top of mind.
Of course, what's not top of mind for Joe is exiting the stage in an expedient and efficient manner.
I don't know where I'm going.
And again, I was wrong.
Joe was not 15 when I met, and he wasn't 30.
She's only seven years younger than him.
Come here.
We're going this way.
What?
What way?
Come on.
Come here.
Come here, boy.
Here you go.
And then other minor detail.
It's looking a hell of a lot like we blew up the Nord Stream, the Nord Stream Pipeline.
No being French for North.
The North Stream pipeline.
There's two of them.
And they are used to get natural gas to Germany from Russia.
Russia had already been cinching the supply as a power move.
And then America went, actually, we're going to blow it up, which releases more methane into the clouds than any cow could ever dream of, even though Biden spent billions of dollars stopping cow farts.
So he's obviously not concerned about methane when it comes to weapons of war, weapons of war.
And it's looking like our government committed eco-terrorism.
And now there's a new pipeline going from, I believe it's called the Baltic pipeline, going from Poland to Germany.
So Putin no longer has that bargaining chip.
But we know we did it because Biden said we were going to do it.
I promise you, we will be able to do that.
Here's a weird, but check out this whole part.
So she asks him a question in English.
Then she wants to show off that she's multilingual.
So she asks a German chancellor a German question.
And then Biden goes, let's start with the first one.
Like you could answer the second one.
It was in German, and it wasn't for you.
And they were both probably maybe the same question.
Yeah, yeah.
One was a translation.
Of course.
If Germany, let me answer the first question first.
Go back.
U.S. as well.
Well, now I'll take a couple questions each.
Reuters, Andrea.
Is that Italian?
A couple of questions each.
A couple of questions each.
Very difficult.
A couple of questions each.
You got the first question.
And thank you, Chancellor Schultz.
Mr. President, I have wanted to ask you about this Nord Stream project that you've long opposed.
You didn't mention it just now by name, nor did Chancellor Schultz.
Did you receive assurances from Chancellor Schultz today that Germany will, in fact, pull the plug on this project if Russia invades Ukraine?
And did you discuss what the definition of invasion could be?
And then, Chancellor Schulz, Venice Fragenstaff, Chancellor Schultz, I just wanted to know whether the sanctions you are envisaging and the EU is working on and the US as well are already finished, finalized, or is there still work ongoing?
Mark on Gauing.
So his question is about the pipeline, Germans is about sanctions.
Joe speaks perfect German, so he can pick and choose, even though the question was not for him, as you say.
To not support the SWIFT measures?
Let me answer this first question first.
If Germany, if Russia invades, you sure you don't want to handle the German one?
Thanks, German.
Schlaventi Gutwenheimen Zie Zuss, Joe?
The border of Ukraine again, then there will be no longer a Nord Stream 2.
We will bring an end to it.
You know you're in public, right, Joe?
How will you do that exactly since the project and control of the project is within Germany's control?
We will, I promise you, we'll be able to do it.
He's such a num nuts that he can't notice.
Even if it means highly classified secret government war ops.
It's the same with Hungary or sorry, Ukraine.
When he was vice president, he said, stop this investigation of my son.
I don't want to get caught.
And they said, no.
And he says, I want the chief investigator fired, or I'm not going to give you any aid.
You'll lose $3 billion from America.
And they said, you can't do that.
And he said, watch me.
Everything he says should take place in a bar after he's president.
Yeah, yeah.
And be like, totally.
Don't mention this.
This is like, there's a big, fancy thing at his estate, and the women are down outside having cocktails, and the kids are playing polo.
And then the men are having cigars in his lounge, his little weird man cave where you push a bookshelf and behind it.
You got to leave your phone.
Leave your phone.
Nobody's got phones, right?
Yeah, that's a given.
There's a little bucket, a little champagne bucket for phones on that.
Dave Chappelle bucket for phones.
And that's when you can sort of say that.
Even that's pretty bad.
But then to finish my previous thing, remember that?
He's sitting on stage in front of people and he goes, my plane lands in six hours.
By the time I land, that guy better be fired.
Guess what?
We land, he's gone.
Bragging about what Trump was getting impeached for, by the way, quid pro quo, holding back aid before the, yeah, there he is, holding back aid, making aid contingent on certain political moves.
You see, Russia blew up their wait, go back.
You see, Russia blew up their own pipeline, but not the Norway-EU pipeline that's right next to it and just opened today.
65D under CHS.
Yeah, what a coincidence.
They already have a new line.
Under CHS.
And then, of course, Sweden registered these explosions.
It's pretty darn clear that we know for a fact there was an explosion that blew up the pipeline.
We also know that Biden was bragging about how he would take out the pipeline.
We also know that it hurts Russia drastically.
This is his act of war.
This is him being a tough guy.
An undersea explosion.
What an absolute joke of a president we have.
Feminism.
You are the rate of change.
I love you.
Change the world.
We are the storm.
The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
You said I was too pretty to fight.
Oh, this was heartbreaking.
And I can't imagine what it must be like to have a trans kid.
I feel like with trans boys, you already know your son's gay.
He's like Showtuned since he was eight.
So by trans, he just has long hair and calls himself a her.
You know he's not going to cut his dick off.
That's a fraction of these nuts.
And even if he does eventually want to do it, it's going to be way down the line.
So you can sort of keep kicking it down the road.
But with a girl, you're worried about the pills she's going to take, making herself infertile.
I guess you're worried with the boy, too, because he's going to have that kid dick forever and he's going to become suicidal.
So it's bad in both cases.
The other thing you've got to worry about too is if you're going through a divorce and you start objecting, the courts will use that against you.
And now you can't see your kids because you don't want your daughter to cut her fucking tits off.
So if the state can't genitally mutilate your child, then you can never see your child.
I mean, this is draconian.
What planet, what era are we living in?
This is like fucking ancient Rome or something.
So, yeah, I think this fear is the most prevalent, though, is the girl deciding to cut her tits off.
But listen to this letter from a parent.
It's happening, Gabe.
Your surgery is scheduled for Monday, October 10th.
That's right around the corner, by the way.
And what do we got here?
Zoom in.
Maybe you'll have to use the money you were planning to use for your top surgery consult to help your cats.
So she's asking money for her cats.
Honestly, if you're going to continue to destroy the beautiful woman that God made you to be and that you are, I don't know how we can continue to keep giving you money to destroy your life.
I understand that you are very mentally ill and have multiple diagnoses.
This woman's grammar is brutal.
Diagnoses is the proper word.
But I know in the depths of my soul, more than I have ever been sure about anything in my whole life, that you are not a boy.
You've been caught in a web of lies.
Other people have told you about yourself and that you have believed evil and negative influences in your life.
As your parents, we are living a nightmare.
And it is all we can do to survive and keep breathing to get through the next minute.
I can't talk to you on the phone because of the way your voice sounds now.
And look, she uses this as an example of transphobia and religious trauma.
Look her up.
The Gabe.
Wait does it say?
The Gabe Agenda?
Yeah.
And do we want the last picture here?
Sure.
What's the last picture?
Yeah.
The end result.
What have you done, Gabe?
Well, no, there's no end result.
She still has her tits in that picture.
It's not October 10th yet.
Dummy.
So she's already transformed into a grotesque thing.
Well, she's already taken testosterone that's giving her sort of manly legs.
Oh my God.
Hey, hey.
That's disturbing.
And showing off her cunt.
But I want to see the Gabe agenda.
You sure that's the exact spelling?
Looking it up right now.
Here we go.
I think this is her.
I think that's just a thing that people are doing.
No, no, that's got periods in it, shithead.
The gay.
Go back to the thing you just made me read from.
I think there's another letter in there.
Blow it up now.
The gay adagenda?
Adagenda.
Yeah, anyway.
The gay adagenda.
That could be the name of today's show.
A couple of these.
So I guess that's uh Instagram?
Oh my god, she's gorgeous.
What a fucking crime.
It looks like her.
Can you zoom out, please?
You're enjoying all the fun yourself?
Gabe Adagenda, he and artist.
Top surgery schedule.
What's the date today?
Today's the 30th.
Is there only 10 days?
Look at her.
Wait, wait, click on that picture right there in the middle.
98 weeks, I guess, ago.
Wow.
That's a long time ago.
Well, actually, no, not really.
No.
So that's like two years ago, she was this.
And now she can't wait to cut her tits off.
I mean, we kidnap young kids when they are in a cult, right?
You've heard of those vans that pull up and grab you.
It happened to my friend Jay Johnson of Mr. Show.
Back before he was a comedian, he joined a cult.
And his friends got together.
They paid for this service where this van comes by and steals you.
It's probably illegal.
And it took them like a month and they deprogrammed him.
I don't know who you are, but literally fuck off.
Yeah, like comments on social media don't mean anything.
I don't advocate for anything illegal, but I swear if it was my kid, I think I would just steal her.
I wouldn't write notes that say, please don't cut your tits off.
This is much worse than a cult.
Cults used to just drain your bank account.
Now they drain your tit account.
It's not really boring to see somebody transform into a monster.
Yeah, no, we're not.
I'm so bored that I care about a young girl maiming herself.
Yeah.
Boring.
Boring.
Must be a slow news day when somebody's destroying themselves publicly from a beautiful creation of God.
And we care about you, young lady, but we also care about young ladies in general.
We don't want to see them die.
I can't believe that we are the sexists when we're sitting here saying to women, it's okay, just be a lesbian.
Don't maim yourself.
Look at that.
Wow.
The sound of that picture is like, and then the sound of this picture is like, oh my God.
Who's to blame?
Isn't there an angle for a lawsuit?
Because I don't trust the normal justice system anymore.
Civil suits seem to be the only thing that matters anymore.
Exploiting a mentally ill person.
Yeah, I entrusted my child to you, and she came back maimed.
This is a fall from grace like none other.
What are you bored?
You care about me murdering myself?
And, by the way, entering a demographic venue where suicide is 18 times higher than the general population.
So you're joining a suicide cult that maims you.
Yeah, you definitely, we always knew you were a boy.
Yeah, that's what you're saying.
By the way, you're grandgettes.
Here's a moment of sanity in a world gone mad from like a female Andrew Tate.
I love girls that are being 20 right now in absolute whores in the club, whatever not.
In 10 years, they're going to be 30 trying to settle down and realize that all the good guys are taken.
They're going to complain that they were ran through their whole life, but while they were partying for the past 10 years, all the good girls got cuffed by the good guys.
And so now, when they look at all the men that are options, they're going to be competing with the now 20-year-old good girls and be stuck.
Why?
Because all the good guys are gone.
You missed your chance being a fucking whore, bitch.
All the girls that are being 20 right now in absolute whores.
Alright, let's jump into some racism.
Yes.
And let's let racism jump into us.
I'm a black female.
What other difference?
Black woman?
This is really inconvenient.
Keep it going.
We'll see you next time.
Yeah, never cut that one short.
The end part gets you pumped.
Yeah, that's true.
Please tell me that this is not a child and it's just a very, very short woman, some sort of a dwarf, please?
Can you tell me that?
Maybe Spina bifida or something?
She's telling me that's Lila Hart and not just...
Did I see a tattoo?
Maybe?
No, the feet looked at.
Yes, yes, yes.
The feet look weird.
Feet look weird.
That's good.
Trimpy leg.
And then I think I saw a tattoo on the arm.
Oh, thank God.
Phew.
Good police work, Detective Shitty.
Whew.
Finally cracked a case.
Here's an interesting.
Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
You're about to hear some white supremacy from a black woman.
I don't see myself dating a white guy.
That's against his race.
But it's more about my bloodline keeping it pure and black.
Maybe if I want to.
Here you go.
Did you see that?
One more time.
I'm going to bring it somewhere.
Imagine if a white guy said word for word what you just said.
Imagine a white guy just had this question asked.
Why don't you date a black woman?
And a white guy goes to the white.
It's a kind of keeping the bloodline and keeping a white.
I want my blood mine to be white.
And that's why I wouldn't date a black woman.
I care about my blood mind.
I'm proud to be white.
She's saying the same thing.
And I was like, yep, good point.
Oh yeah, I get it White people do not have freedom of speech I don't see myself dating a white That's true everything is true there, but are you noticing one little tiny element that's not being discussed No one else is fucking her oh yeah It's like what I did in high school was the super hot blonde cheerleaders didn't weren't remotely interested in me So I developed a distaste for
and went for the more ethnically ambiguous girls that would actually fuck me.
And I altered my own taste.
I think a lot of people do that.
They're just like, they can't have champagne and hors d'oeuvres, so they go, I like orange Fanta and Doritos.
I prefer it.
And I'm sure after a while, you get used to it and you do prefer it.
You ever had a blonde cheerleader type chick?
Yeah.
They're cool.
Here's a black lady who is also keeping the bloodline pure and maintaining the culture by beating the shit out of a car.
Look at the temper going on here.
This is racial.
Wait, you gotta hear the very beginning because she connects with the car.
She's gonna have a box with her.
That was a good punch.
Damn.
She warmed it up first and really...
I wonder what he did.
What the fuck is up, bitch?
What the fuck is up?
And then she gets back in the car.
Somehow I think she...
She just hit my car.
Come on!
Bitch, I'm gonna break your shit, ho!
What did I do?
I'm gonna break your motherfucking face!
What did I do?
I'm gonna break your motherfucking face!
What did I do?
Why are you so mad?
I'm gonna break your motherfucking face!
Why are you so mad?
Oh!
Why?
Why are you so mad?
Oh!
Why are you threatening me?
I'm just trying to get to work.
I'm just trying to get to work.
He's lucky the light went green.
What do you do in that situation?
Beat her up?
What the fuck?
It's lose-lose.
You either get your ass beat by a girl, or you have your life ruined.
Not good.
And then finally, I thought this was fun.
This liberal racist says, like, the British Parliament is black, but they're not really black.
That's what I have been screaming.
So here I am, merging with the lefties.
We both agree that people like Cory Booker, Thomas Morello, no, no, what's his name?
Tom Morello from Rage Against the Machine, Barack Obama, Key and Peele, they're all white.
They're superficially black.
Their skin is black.
Their culture is white.
And what did she say?
That's a really flattering picture of her, by the way.
Zoom in.
MP Rupka Huck says she apologized to Chancellor Kwasi Kwarting for describing a superficially black speaking at a Labour Party conference fringe event.
Ms. Huck also said, if you hear him on the Today program, you wouldn't know he's black.
So they gotta be like, what up, uh, in it, hello, what a thing, fucking, oh, oh, mad girls.
I can't do the young London black accent.
It's like Jamaican and stuff.
Um, but keep going.
I want to get to the word superficially.
Yeah, there we go.
During a Q&A session, she said, he's superficially a black man.
He's got more in common, but again, he's got more in common, eh.
He went to Eaton.
He went to a very expensive prep school, all the way through top schools in the country.
What did I say on my show?
I listed all the private schools this black cabinet went to.
But then we got word from a British baby monster.
A BBM.
Who said, dude, you should like that these blacks are white because her cabinet rocks.
Maybe I'm, I'm not that informed when it comes to the new UK parliament.
So let's check, check in with this BBM, British baby monster.
This is from Archie and, uh, here it is.
Gavin is wrong about PM Liz Truss.
Liz Truss.
I heard Gavin mention that Liz Truss is a caretaker PM and her government and her leftist diversity hires is an understandable assumption to make, but she's more base than you think.
She's the first PM in years to be selected.
Can you move it over a bit?
Like shrink it and move it over?
Yes.
Uh, to be selected.
What's this now?
Um, selected by the membership but not the politicians who are the left of the membership.
She was appointed by government to everyone on the right of the party while helping minorities.
The conservative party filters out anyone too right wing for parliamentary selection unless they're non-white as they're desperate for diversity.
Oh, cool.
So they end up with right wing POCs.
So Ella Braverman is the new home secretary in charge of policing and immigration.
She's committed to sending all illegal immigrants to Rwanda in a deal with the Rwandan government and is prepared to leave the European Court of Human Rights who are blocking it.
Okay, can we stop giving me an erection live on the air?
Kind of gay.
We don't, one of the rules, I mean, we allow for naked ladies occasionally but we don't show porn on this site.
This sounds very gay.
This is not a porn site.
Well, I like him too but I don't know if I like him that much.
In her first week, she's also threatened all senior police officers that there will be consequences to woke virtue signaling.
Excuse me, sorry about that.
The new black chancellor has just announced huge tax cuts much to the outrage of the global elite all these non-white conservatives have been outspoken right-wingers since early on in their careers when no one knew of them which hopefully means they're not uh just grifters like Boris Johnson, who became left-wing when in power, partly due to his fucking wife.
In short, Truss is a pretty inarticulate speaker, but she's appointed the most patriotic and base cabinet on issues of free markets, free speech, the family, immigration, race, and gender.
And we have an affirmative action to thank.
So that's a fucking crazy twist.
I come really, really hard.
So when you see visible minorities in probably all European, but definitely in British Parliament, you're actually looking at super right-wingers who couldn't be fired because they're minorities.
Damn!
So when you see a black in Parliament, you go, yes, one of us, one of us.
Not affirmative action in the negative sense.
This is positive affirmative action, which is awesome because the left is being hoisted on their own retard.
For Maddie, I can tell you're British genetically.
You look like every British dad.
Would be good to hear more about your British roots.
Okay, we can do that.
Come on, now, dog.
We can do that.
Come on, man.
All right, let's jump to the mailbag.
MB.
You knew it was coming.
Shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
I talked to someone the other day, and LinkedIn informed them that the FBI had been checking up on their LinkedIn page.
So that's fun.
And then there's the chick who was just talking about Proud Boys on her DMs, and she got banned from Instagram and Facebook.
She hasn't used Facebook in years.
There's weird shit going on.
Are you a god?
I heard you tell the Ernie Hudson story several times about him telling a black kid, you are a god.
I know you know the movie well enough and your kid used to make lots of slammers, but just in case.
So, sir, you're sending me this message.
I'm 52 years old.
My son was obsessed with Ghostbusters.
I obviously know it inside and out.
I had to sit with them 100 times and watch it.
And here you are telling me what's going on in the world.
This is what he was quoting.
Ghostbusters is his biggest movie, and this line in the movie was probably his most quotable line.
He doesn't say anything in this scene.
I think he tells Ray, like, when somebody asks if you're a God, you say yes, but he doesn't say, are you a God?
He took some liberties that Ernie Hudson.
When someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes.
Yeah.
This is basically his satisfaction.
But he didn't say that, you fucking idiot, who sat down and typed out a letter.
And I was there.
I know how he said it.
So he didn't even say it like that.
Someone asks you if you're a god, say yes.
He went, look at me.
And he said into the camera, you are a god.
You're a god.
Yeah, and if that's his satisfaction, why didn't he play satisfaction for your kid?
You know?
What?
If that is his satisfaction, let's say it is, why didn't he play satisfaction for your kid?
You play satisfaction.
Because I told him what to say for my kid, dummy.
You gave him clear direction on what to say to your kid, as he mentions here, as you had a goal in mind.
The guy who just wrote your coattails gave him no direction.
Yeah, but A, I already told you the tone, and B, that's not what he says in the movie.
So thank you for helping out and explaining to me what goes on around me, you fucking 32-year-old moron.
Love your podcast.
You have at least one Norwegian fan.
Have you guys ever considered putting all the opening songs into a playlist on Spotify?
Someone else can do that.
I'll mention it here if they do it.
One problem, though, with that is there's so many joke songs.
Like, remember we had that gay Euro gay dance band?
I wouldn't want that on a playlist.
Today's song, Gene Simmons, singing Firestarter, shouldn't be anywhere in the world.
It shouldn't exist.
It's a terrible, terrible song.
It's a terrible thing.
And it was filmed at a terrible home where all terrible things are filmed.
It's at a douchebag's house.
I think somebody has made...
I think there's a couple playlists that people have made.
Because there's some really good jams.
Here we go.
Yeah, this is it.
I saw the Bonnie on there.
Cannibal Cafe, Boys in the Better Land, Hero's Death, White Punks and Hope, Louie Louie, Ben DC, Mignana, Norgard, Make a Mark Fest, Bodies, Bisex Muscles.
There's not even a sense.
Sound like Nate Uber.
Ober.
He's still going.
He's making really cool AI art of you.
Yeah.
Great.
Hollowed, boom, boom, boom, boom.
I'm in that band.
I play that song all the time.
Don't even try to tell me that's not cool.
Yeah, those are all good jams.
I think, I don't know when the last time he added one is, but there's a ton.
Then there's another one on there.
Okay.
Get off my lawn playlist.
So yeah, sir, just look it up.
Here's someone doing that accent.
I was just trying to do.
The Black London accent.
And it's an interesting chemistry lesson.
This guy explains chemistry with the Black London, East London, New London accent.
So there, innit?
Rare thing, trust me.
So obviously, lithium's in group one like sodium, innit?
So it's an alkali metal, you get me?
It has a dark grey layer on the outside because obviously the lithiums react with the oxygen in the air to form lithium oxide, innit?
But the inside is bare, shiny, and nice than that.
Now, because it's on a group one thing, it's soft and squishy like sodium.
Not as soft, but you can still cut it in that.
You get me?
Shiny settings.
Come on, you know what's going on.
Alright, boom.
So we're going to slap it into some water and see what's going on in it.
Obviously, man, just pouring it up.
You don't know.
Alright, cool.
Let's go, yeah, into the water.
Alright, so we can see little fizzing going in and that.
Some gas being released.
So that's hydrogen gas in it.
Now, the scientific term for fizzing is effervescence.
You get me?
So the lithium metal is reacting with the hydrogen and the oxygen in water to form a lithium hydroxide.
That's the alkaline thing.
You get me?
Come on, you know what's going on.
You get me?
There's another one.
This one's huge.
From November 2017, all the damn way down to, ooh, want to say August 2, 2018.
Nelson, Maddow.
Those are all good jams.
But like, there's shit in there, like, in my feelings, that was there for some sort of a joke.
It doesn't deserve to be on a playlist.
It should all be the cutting-edge shit.
That's right, isn't it?
13% of the population committing 50% of violent crimes is obsolete.
Now it is 24 times.
MIPD's 2021 report is out.
This is NYC only.
Blacks are 14 times more likely than whites to commit violent crime, but even more likely to commit the most serious offenses.
Yeah, because of systemic racism.
They're left with no way out.
Oh, here's a female cop I was talking about earlier.
Female cop fail.
The gun isn't upside down.
entire belt is upside down.
How could you have...
But on a good screen, you can see that there's no way you could draw that without shooting yourself.
It's pointing right up into your armpit.
There you go.
Yeah.
Like, what do you do?
You push down to get it out, and then you got to turn it around.
If you think female cops are bad, try black female cops.
People have sent me this a hundred times.
I guess I have to acknowledge it just to get it out of my fucking thing.
This is the find out scale.
Yeah, I have not watched this yet, but you know exactly where it's going.
It's like the hot chick crazy thing.
All right, today we're going to talk about how we can find out and how much we can find out and what it takes to get there.
So first we have to decide how much do we want to find out.
So let's say in this case, I want to find out at a level of seven.
Okay, so I find that level on my graph and I come horizontally to my gradient line.
Where it intersects with my gradient line, I'm going to come straight down to where it intersects with my fuck around line.
That there is going to tell me how much I have to fuck around to find out what I need to find out.
See, as you can see, the more you fuck around, the more you're going to find out.
And also, if you stay down here and you never fuck around, you'll never find out.
So I hope this lesson is helpful.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
Pretty mediocre joke.
Hey, Detective Shitty, can you look into this cold case?
Okay.
How cold?
Hey, everybody.
It is me, Corey, with the keys.
And with the Will Smith apology out, I'm going to show you guys how all of this is fake and just a distraction to keep you from worrying about what's really going on.
The same way Chris Rock was making fun of Jada.
Same way this is going now.
Will was laughing.
And then Jada had the stank face just like that.
Same direction, everything.
Now watch.
The same walk.
Same exact slapping motion to the T grabs his stuff as he walks down.
I mean, he reenacted that perfectly.
Elijah Lewis just slapped the heck out of me.
That's the same thing Chris Rock said about Will.
Wake up, guys.
Food shortages.
We're losing our freedoms.
This is how they're distracting you.
Same way with the Johnny Depp trial.
Pay attention.
Pay attention.
All right, Detective Shitty, you want to take a crack at that?
He's lying that that's an old movie.
Correct.
Yeah.
They just reshot it and they added an 80s filter.
Boring.
Okay, last one.
It's a fucking mystery.
G-Dog and Ride Eye.
Look at this fucking mystery.
Non-binary, the House of the Dragon actor, Emma Darcy, who uses they, them pronouns, says she really likes playing woman and she's really good at it for some reason.
Who knew that a woman would be good at playing a woman?
Wow.
It's almost like she is one.
She's been method her whole life.
Yeah, dude, I've only been not a woman for probably about three years.
So you have a lot more experience with the first one.
All right, let's get to the final vid.
I have three here.
One of them should have been in racism, but someone didn't remind me.
Oops.
This is going around.
This guy's acting like a fucking lunatic, attacking people.
He's shooting at cops.
This cop shows up like dirty hairy, pulls his gun out of his car, and just takes him out with one shot.
You're coming to watch Madison.
He puts his coffee down.
This guy's risking his fucking career and everything on a daily basis and his life.
Used to be cops just risked their lives.
Now they're risking their lives and their $4 million pensions.
For future everything.
But fuck it.
I got to take care of business.
Load it up.
Get the perch in the site.
And...
I don't know.
I don't know.
Shot fired suspects down.
Isn't that great?
That could be a drop.
Yeah, make that a drop.
Every time we shit on someone or totally nail them.
Yeah, make that a drop for when someone has a boring call and we hang up on them.
Or someone has a dumb suggestion, like, I got the Ghostbusters wrong.
Oh, fuck.
Actually, you should put it at the very end of this last video.
The one that you forgot to tell me about.
Okay.
Put it at the end of that.
But again, another reminder of how hard it is to be a cop.
It's hard to be a cop when everyone hates your guts.
It's hard to be a cop when you're hampered by constant surveillance and rules and that you can't bend.
Everyone else can bend the rules, but you can't.
So that's unfair.
And on top of all of this lunacy, we're living in a chaotic clown world where criminals are running, what is it, roughshod across this country, destroying it, burning it down, murdering with impunity, destroying people's property with impunity, stealing with impunity.
And then you're thrown in the mix with chains around your legs and you're told to fix it.
So here's a typical day for a fucking cop.
This might be the most chaotic video I've seen all year.
Get lost and spook him away like a jackal like a hyena.
On the ground!
On the ground!
Now he's been on the ground!
On the ground!
Hands behind your back!
Hands behind your back!
Get his hands behind his back now.
Meanwhile, there's a car accident five feet away.
As a guy's cleaning his window, by the way, what's that about?
Dig again, see what happens.
He's been talking to me, sir.
Hands behind the back of the inside.
Can you imagine having to work in this neighborhood with idiots constantly fighting each other?
You might as well work in a zoo.
Do you ever clock out?
Or is it just 24-7?
You know, I'm here all day.
hands behind your back Get your cuffs out.
I don't know if he's afraid to cuff him because that guy's there.
And he's like, that leaves me vulnerable.
But boom, he's off.
He's like, fuck that.
I'm not letting this asshole go.
He got up real quick.
Can we see that again?
Yeah, it was really good.
Boop.
That's why we do burpees.
Resistees.
After chugging that Gatorade, I'd be doing burpees as I ran away.
So he jumps over a bush.
First guy falls.
Pop catches him, cases him.
Wow.
All right, the last one now.
I want you to have the drop ready, our brand new drop.
This is a gentleman trying to sell solar.
Please stop sending me this.
I've received it 600 times.
But he fucks up.
Ninja is okay to say.
Neighbor is okay to say, especially when you mean to say the word neighbor.
But you've got to be careful with the word neighbor because it's close to some other bad words.
You could even say the word neighbor when you mean to say some other words.
Right.
And you'll be safe.
Careful.
Careful what you wish for.
Hello.
Just heard it.
Hey, how you doing?
Hey, sorry to bother you.
I'm Fernando.
I work with Peak Energy.
We're a few doors down.
We're in 1845.
Okay.
So we do solar around here.
We're just coming around talking to neighbors.
Sorry, dude.
Neighbors, I apologize now.
No, man, that wasn't even X-Ray 316.
Shot fired.
Suspects down.
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm sorry.
All right, guys.
Have a good weekend.
I just bought something.
It's going to arrive in a few weeks.
It's called the Light Phone, and you can switch it with your other phone.
It can only do calls and texts.
And I think it has a calculator.
Oh, I got that same thing.
It's called self-control.
Yeah, it was free, actually.
Yeah.
You're great at self-control.
Well, this is a man who just figured out what a normal sleep pattern is like this year.
Well, yeah.
But try to stay off your phone.
Enjoy yourself.
Think.
Be depressed.
Be bored.
These are all real feelings.
It's good to have real feelings.
Let's experience life.
Enjoy yourself.
It's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself while you're still in the pink.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
You turn around and...
You walk away.
You walk away.
Don't be a puny body, okay?
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