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March 28, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:28:18
S4E100 - BEST SMACKTOR
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From New York, it's Get'em Monday One with Gibbon McGibbon.
I was gonna play Smack My Bitch Up, but it takes too long, that song.
It takes forever for them to get into the Smack My Bitch Up part.
Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
Very exciting show for you.
That was Miss MC Bassman, Heavy and Dark.
I was blaring that in the house on Sunday, and my son said, can you turn that off?
You know, when you're young and your dad tells you to turn your music off, you go, wow, when I'm older, I'll be telling my son to turn his music off.
My kids, my daughter listens to music, but my sons don't.
They tell me to turn it down.
Turn off that.
What is that music?
I said, it's drum and bass, dad.
The Mets game is on.
But he's not watching the Mets because it's not real games now.
It's Port St. Lucie.
It's training.
Mike!
So Gen X is the first generation where it's the dad being told by the kids to turn the music down.
Before that, since the 50s, since rock and roll, it's been the dad telling his son to turn the music down.
We're also the first generation to start dying younger than our parents or grandparents died.
Lifespan's been getting exponentially higher since the beginning of time, and we're the first to go down.
Jesus Christ.
And that is because of obesity.
And no one discusses that because it's bad for business.
Fans don't like to hear that they're fat.
Well, you're fat and you're dying.
Don't be fat.
Don't be poor and don't be fat.
You don't know what it's like.
I'm struggling.
No, you're not.
There is a dearth of people willing to show up for work these days.
Go out there, get a trade, do construction, get rich.
The only people I know who are genuinely poor are divorced dads who have to give 50% of their money to their wife.
But when you're married, you've got to give, I give 100% of my money to my wife.
So that's not poor either.
It's like my paycheck gets cut in half every time I get a paycheck.
Yeah.
So does mine.
My paycheck gets cut in more than half.
So the big story, of course, today is Will Smith slapping Chris Rock.
Was it real?
Now, there's some degrees of reality, too.
Some are saying he knew something was going to go down, but I sent you a better one than this.
He didn't know it was going to be a full-on slap.
So what do we think?
Here at Get Off My Lawn.
The things that make me think it was at least partly real is the way Chris Rock reacted afterwards.
He seemed really uncomfortable.
I.e., no adrenaline control.
Wow.
Wow.
Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.
Wow, dude.
It was a G.I. Jane jump.
I'm going to, okay?
Oh, okay.
That was a greatest night in the history of television.
We included Japanese translations there for all you zipper heads.
I couldn't understand what he said before that.
He got hit so hard he did a Biden-ism.
This is the greatest night of Grammys.
No, not the Grammys.
What is it now?
Oscar the Grouch?
He's got the fight face that you do.
See?
That's what makes me think it's real.
I've discussed this a million times.
Every time you see a fist fight on the street, the guy wants to poo-poo it.
So he goes, he thinks he's going like this.
What the fuck was that?
Wow.
Okay.
I guess someone's real mad.
Bonk, bon, bonk.
He's punching me like a maniac.
That's what he wants to be, but his adrenaline is pounding too much for him to smile normally, so he smiles like this.
Oh my God, that was insane.
Did you see him?
And he always says the same thing.
Sucker punch.
Did you see him sucker punch me?
Holy shit, it was such a fucking sucker punch.
Going to, okay?
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it was real.
It's possible.
I will allow for the possibility that Will Smith was supposed to get up and do something, but, and he took it too far.
Maybe.
And they say Chris Rock was bracing for it.
If you go back, he could have been like, yes, can I help you?
What do you got?
Because he expected something like, you need to shut the fuck up.
And he's sort of doing like a uh-huh.
Or a playful, like, oh, you're going to playfully slap me.
You're like, I deserve it.
Shitty comes in with this.
Yeah, he's like, oh, we're in Hollywood, so you're going to pretend to slap me for your wife's honor.
Here he goes.
And then he asks you.
Okay, so your take is he didn't, this wasn't planned, but Chris Rock assumed it would be a small slap, not a big slap.
Right.
See how he's leaning forward?
He's like, go ahead, give it to me.
I'm ready.
I deserve it.
But bop.
And he's like, okay, fuck.
That's a terrible theory, right?
That's exactly what happened.
That's a terrible theory.
Comments below.
Detective shitty once again strikes.
See, That's all real.
Everybody could have rolled with it.
They were laughing after that, and they were like, oh, shit, this is fun.
And then when he said it again, they were like, okay, black man angry.
Oscar's so black.
This is what happens.
That's all real.
And Jada Pickett's myth is a kind of...
G.I. Jane, no joke about that.
Here's what's really happening with the Oscars, though, is Ricky Gervais ruined awards shows in general by peeling back the curtain and making fun of them.
My favorite joke, of course, from that is when he introduces Bruce Willis as Ashton Kutcher's dad.
He was fantastic.
And they need to reassert themselves.
I'm not saying this is planned, but I'm saying that Will Smith is like, we're the laughingstock.
I'm sick of it.
I'm going to fucking do something.
And that's why I bet he's got...
He got, according to Daily Mail, he got nothing but accolades.
Oh, I forgot to number these today.
He got nothing but accolades that night from the rest of them.
But let's go back and watch the whole thing with the G.I. Jane joke.
Because Will Smith laughs, and Jada Kuntit Smith goes, Now, I don't know if she's bald from chemo or something real.
I don't think so.
We don't want to make fun of Pew with Cancer, but she was dressed retarded in a giant Patagonia jacket that became a dress.
Denzel Macbeth loved it!
I love the part where I said, King Lear don't got nothing on me.
Stop.
Did they say that in King Lear?
No.
That was from the other training day.
Oh.
I gotta see it.
It's really good.
You know who's got the hardest job tonight?
Javier Dardem and his wife are both nominated.
Now, if she loses, he can't win.
Dude, these jokes are so sweet.
Ah, couples.
Your wife, right?
I love you.
G.I. Jane, too, can't wait to see it.
Yeah, look, stop, stop.
Go back.
That's not chemo.
The stubble's there.
It's shaved.
Here he is enjoying the G.I. Jane joke.
A totally benign.
Look at that mulatto in the back trying to cling on to any piece of blackness she ever has.
I was just thinking about that on the way here.
If white privilege is such a big thing, why did Jerry change his name to Geraldo?
Why did Henry Tario change his name to Enrique?
Because it's cooler to be ethnic.
And that's why that white chick is holding on to her Octoroon dreads like she's on the edge of a cliff.
Look, I'm sitting in the black section.
I'm so black.
No, you're not.
You're a white girl on vacation trying to get her groove back.
Anyway, sorry, tangent time.
Jada, I love you.
G.I. Jane 2, can't wait to see it.
All right?
Stop, stop.
When you get to her stubble.
Look at that.
Dark stubble.
That's her.
Yeah.
What do you mean, oh, that's her?
I swear, I was like the black chick next to her.
I was like, wow, she really transformed into a different black chick.
You thought the woman next to Will was Jada Pinkett Smith?
Yeah.
They're not together, right?
Or they have an open marriage?
Because somebody made the joke that, like, if every rapper that she slept with rushed the stage when Chris Rock made that joke.
You're only now familiar with the fact that Jada Pinkett Smith fucks anything that moves?
No, but I'm familiar with that, but I didn't think they were together together.
Please stop commenting, Brian.
You don't know anything but how to play Steve Inge Maumstein and how to play video games.
Yes, Jada Pinkett Smith has been caught fucking around.
They've been struggling to get through it.
One guy, a record producer or a rapper, made it public, said that he had been fucking her.
But somehow they've survived.
She's the bitch who said, if you recall, who I called a monkey actress.
And that appeared on Tucker.
Some Indian dude was like, you've had the leader of the Prow Boys who called Jada Pinkett Smith a monkey and said that Muslims are too inbred to be in America.
Both kind of true.
I mean, I don't like the way you twisted my words, but I made a joke based on what my kid said when he was a little kid.
Check it out.
Look under Jada Pinkett Smith there.
My head is pounding a fucking party way too hard at Gav's Tav last night.
This is the Media Matters Minute.
I'm Eric.
This is the Media Matters Minute.
I mean, Nebish Jew.
Fifth edition of the Gavin McInnes Show, host and frequent Fox News guest Gavin McInnes uses a racial slur to describe actress Jada Pinkett Smith.
Listen here.
My son, for example, I was thinking about the other day.
He says all this awesome shit, and my wife gets to enjoy him more than I do.
Like he said, he was watching some documentary about Chippaqua.
Chipajin.
Chapaquin.
Those monkeys that are the most like us.
They're the most human acting apes.
Chapaquin, I can't remember.
Anyway, my son's watching it, and he's eating popcorn, and he thinks he recognizes one of them from another movie.
And he goes, oh, I like this.
He kind of has a bit of a lift.
And he goes, oh, I like this monkey actress.
Which is what I said when Jada Pinkett Smith did her video about the Oscars.
This is not the first time McInnis has made incendiary remarks, but despite this, Fox News continues to allow him to appear on their network and spew his hateful rhetoric.
For more on this and other stories, please visit Media Matters.
What a nerd.
Spew his hateful rhetoric.
Is that what that was?
Or was it a joke based on how kids talk?
But remember, I was making fun of her because she started the Oscar Sol White thing where she spoke at that magic hour where the sun is pouring into the living room about how racist America is because she wasn't nominated.
Ugh, what a cunt.
You can just tell she's a bitch.
Like Janelle Monet.
You look at her and you go, I bet you're a cunt.
And she sat there, like sitting on her leg, The way people do when they want to be annoying.
And she said, Here's what I do know.
I hate that expression.
Here's what I do know.
Ugh.
And she talked about how racist the Oscars are.
And then, of course, that same episode, we looked it up.
And about 14% of the Oscars go to black people.
You know, exactly in accordance to how they are represented in the population.
Muslims are 1% of the population.
They probably get about 1% of the Oscars.
If anything, the Oscars is woke.
Which is why you have a career, Jada.
Do you have that?
Her doing a little speech?
Type it away there.
You're hacking into the mainframe?
I was trying to get ahead and type that get that SNL bit going because that link was dead.
Okay.
Well, let's focus on the matter at hand here, which is getting Jay to Pinkett Smith.
I might not have even referenced the SNL sketch.
Ryan is, of course, referring to something in my notes by John Mulaney playing a monkey judge, which is incredibly hilarious.
Okay.
Nope.
Sorry, folks.
Lull in the show.
At any rate, another reason I know that the hit was real is the way Chris Rock acted after.
He had to deliver jokes, and to deliver jokes well, you need to be 100% chill.
And he obviously was not chill.
His blood was coursing through his veins like a fucking torrent.
So anyway, give up on Jada Pinkett Smith's speech for now and go back to the entire thing, that thing, yeah.
Stubble on her head.
That's not cancer.
That was a nice one.
Okay.
Stop.
Also, look how happy he is, too.
He's laughing.
He's having a great time.
He looks like a racist caricature of a black man.
And it was a nice one.
By the way, G.I. Jane is a badass.
She's a really cool person.
It's not like some racist portrayal of anything.
It's got zero to do with race.
And she was very attractive.
It was Demi Moore at like her peak.
She was probably 30 years old in that movie.
She looked amazing and bald on purpose.
So it was a very politically correct joke.
One of many ass-kissing jokes.
So I don't know if this is...
I looked up Jada Pinkett Smith.
Jada Pinkett Smith's response to Chris Rock's diss at the Oscars.
This is from 2017.
2016.
Oh, that's why he said keep your my wife's name out your fucking mouth.
So this has been building up.
Let's see what she says.
Jada Pinkett Smith reacts to Chris Rock calling her out at the Oscars.
Oh, it's a thing.
Pinkett Smith for boycotting the show during his opening monologue.
The actress responded to the comedian's joke, seemingly taking it all in stride.
Hey, look, it comes with the territory, but we gotta keep it moving.
We got a lot of stuff we gotta handle.
A lot of stuff going on in our world right now.
Oh, God.
E.T. caught up with actress Angela Bassett lasted.
He did it.
So he just made fun of her.
So what did he say?
Good question.
He probably made fun of her for the Oscar So White thing.
I'm drinking bud like medicine because my hangover is so bad.
Yeah, I would need you to find Jada Pinkett Smith on the couch doing her stupid talk.
And I need you to find we have to finish watching that clip.
And we need Crip Daddy on the line.
A lot of shit going down.
Lot of shit.
A lot of racial shit this year.
Oh, so yeah.
That was a nice one.
Okay.
I'm out of here.
Oh, Richard.
Wow.
Will Smith just smack the shit out of me.
See, that's real.
He wasn't leaning into it.
Wow, dude.
It was a G.I. Jane joke.
I'm going to, okay?
He's the prince of Wakanda now.
Yeah.
And Chris Rock has lost all his bedstead credit.
Okay, turn it up.
Look how awkward he is now.
So we are here to give a documentary out.
To give an Oscar out for best documentary.
Now, the beauty of documentaries, because they make you, when you watch one, you feel.
You know another thing, by the way, about celebrities?
They don't have human contact.
So getting hit in the face hasn't happened to him probably since 1982.
And he has no file in his brain for these feelings.
And he doesn't practice combat sports or anything.
So getting hit is like he wants to go backstage now and rant and tweet and have someone canceled and fired.
And, you know, they're monarchs, these people are aristocracy.
And when reality hits them in the face, they have no idea what to do.
Oh, there we go.
Look at her.
Today is Martin Luther King's birthday.
And I can't help but ask the question, is it time that people of color recognize how much power, influence that we have amassed?
Influence, remember that?
We no longer need to ask to be invited anywhere.
Just pause here.
Do you get what she's saying?
First of all, she's citing Martin Luther King while she bitches about not winning enough awards.
Like, did you play the claw game and waste 40 bucks trying to pick up an old Rubik's Cube keychain?
What the fuck is she talking about?
I need more awards.
So, solution, black people boycott the Oscars.
I think she thinks blacks.
Well, she clearly.
What was that?
This was an article about how they're boycotting the Oscars.
Spike Lee.
She clearly thinks that blacks are more than 14% of the population.
That's why she's mortified that they only win about 10% of the awards.
She thinks they're like 50% of the population because she listens to black radio and fucking watches BET and all her people around her are black.
And the next thing you know, she just assumes that we is Kangs diminishes power.
This was written by a white person, by the way.
Let's not forget it.
Spikely's joining the boycott.
What boycott?
Did it even happen?
Oh, both.
You know what?
I would love to ask both of these people if I could get them in a room.
What's eight times seven?
How do you spell bequeathed?
It'd be great if the they were like, let's just give up, now that the boycott's happening, let's give the awards to black people, but they're not here to accept this award, so we're going to have to give it to somebody else.
Sorry.
We're giving it to Harvey Weinstein and David Duke.
So go back to her stupid talk, or was that it?
Done?
Oh, no.
It's like.
I don't think that boycott ever happened.
She threatened a boycott.
Spikely joined her, and then next thing you know, she's at the fucking Oscars.
Hi.
So let's see the 2017 joke.
Okay, I think I got it.
Well, it's right there in the corner.
That must be it.
That's a 10-minute monologue, but I think...
Hey!
Well, I'm here at the Academy Awards, otherwise known as the White People's Choice Awards.
You realize if they nominated host, I wouldn't even get this job.
So y'all be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now.
But ain't the crazy thing.
This is the wildest, craziest Oscars to ever host because we got all this controversy.
No, wait a couple years.
No black nominees, you know?
And people are like, Chris, you should boycott.
Chris, you should quit.
You should quit.
You know, how come it's only unemployed people to tell you to quit something, huh?
White people are scared to clap.
But I realized they're going to have the Oscars anyway.
They're not going to cancel the Oscars with the money.
Apparently it's at 226?
Well, this is all part of the rage.
Kev right there.
Kevin make movies fast.
Every month, porno stars don't make movies that fast.
Slightly edgy.
The thing is, why are we protesting?
That's the big question.
Why this Oscars?
Why this Oscars?
You know?
It's the 88th Academy Awards.
You know what's interesting about watching this?
That's 2017.
There's a totally different vibe.
And the vibe is, I'm sick of living in this racist country, and it's time we stood up for ourselves.
And then there was two years of rioting and bullshit and affirmative action and trans kindergarten teachers.
And you wouldn't get that kind of attitude now.
Like, this is pre-temper tantrum.
Then there was a two-year temper tantrum.
Now, when you say that kind of shit, people go, nah.
It's like this meme I saw where it was like 2014, that's racist.
No, it isn't.
And then 2018, that's racist.
How dare you?
And then, oh, I don't care.
And then it was like 2025, that's racist.
And then it was, I'm glad you noticed.
That's where we're headed now.
It's over.
It's amazing that that was only in 2017.
That was like pre-racism in many ways.
You know what I mean?
Like back in 2017, George Floyd, everything, what was it?
The F place.
The riots, the first riots.
Ferguson.
Ferguson.
Pre-Ferguson, everyone was like, okay, yeah, we got to fix this.
It was like 1969 all over again, right after Martin Luther King was assassinated.
Then there was two years of bad behavior, and now it's like, fuck you.
No.
So that was back when everyone was, all the woke liberals were like winning.
Man, apparently Will Smith was like really ashamed afterwards.
Well, he's a hero.
Who's in after him?
Oh, poor guy.
He's singing to himself.
This guy did that.
I told you about that guy who does that at the gym, right?
Yes.
He puts on his own trap music.
The audacity.
One more thing about the Oscars.
You notice how John Travolta reacted when they did the gay thing?
Everybody's like, yeah, this is funny.
Everybody straight is like laughing.
They're like, haha, it was cool.
John Travolta's like, gays are fine, I guess.
I don't know.
What's a gay?
What is a gay?
Well, you know what's weird?
When it started, I was making funny quips about their pants and stuff on the red carpet.
And I thought, why the fuck aren't we live streaming this?
God's been speaking to me recently, by the way.
I'll look up a word and it'll come on the radio at the same time, like death.
One time I had like three different death things on Friday when I saw you, right after I saw you.
I took my motorcycle out of storage, was bringing it home, and something said, don't go on the highway.
And then I said, I'm getting on the fucking highway.
Fuck you.
I almost got into an accident.
I saw death three times and then I got on the highway despite what the voices were.
And I was Getting into the slow lane to exit, and some guy had been whipping by on the slow lane at like 100 miles an hour.
And God told me you should live stream these Oscars, and then a few minutes later, kaboom.
Speaking of God and death, rest in peace, Foo Fighters.
Did a lot of drugs.
Speaking of Taylor Hawkins and slaps, you know that Prince Harry once slapped Taylor Hawkins.
No.
He said, I'm really tired.
How you doing?
You all right?
I don't know, man.
I'm so fucking tired.
We slept two hours on the plane.
We just did a show in America.
And he goes, slaps him across the face.
You wake now?
And he went, oh, fuck you.
So you got slapped by the prince, is that right?
I went to the hospital, and the first guy I read who visited.
I don't like the Foo Fighters.
They're the only band allowed to be a rock band and be popular.
So you just kind of have to take it.
I mean, they're good live.
And, you know, he's not a hack at guitar.
If you try to learn his songs, you're like, what the fuck?
I don't know.
He's playing complex shit and singing.
He's a good musician.
But definitely not my favorite brand of music.
Thanks for that.
He's the only rock band that are allowed to exist.
So they're important.
I guess, sure.
You got Crip Daddy on the line?
Oh, I think we can get some Crip.
Let's get Crippy with it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeah, I saw Trevor Noah partying with Will Smith.
Like, everyone thinks he's awesome because not so much that he slapped Chris Rock, but that celebrities used to be gods, then they became the laughingstock by their own fault.
They were hoisted on their own retard through Twitter and social media and Jada Pickett Smith doing idiotic videos like that.
Here's what I do know.
We are powerful and we are real.
All that shit demystified them.
So what Will Smith did last night was say, all right, I guess we're never going to be Kangs again as celebrities, but we're not going to be targets.
We're not going to be mocked.
Watch this.
Whack.
And I think Hollywood was like, I'll take it.
We're never going to be Humphrey Bogart and Betty Davis again, but I'll take don't fuck with us.
Apparently.
Beats the laughingstock.
Chris Karak is not taking this new bill very seriously, H.R. 2116, creating a respectful and open world for natural hair act of 2022 to prohibit discrimination based on individuals' texture or hairstyle.
And with that said, now that that's in place, I'm going to let my natural fly.
And if you say anything about it, you're breaking the laws.
Your hair is boring.
You talk about it way too much.
You play with it like a faggot because you have low testosterone.
And the fact that you put a hat on at work is profoundly embarrassing.
We have Crypt Daddy online.
And not just to you, but your entire generation wearing hats at work.
Like the guy Fleckis' co-host there always has his stupid Carhartt hat on.
Or, of course, Tim Poole.
Do you guys know how embarrassing you look?
You might as well have mittens on.
You're wearing a winter hat indoors.
You wear it all summer.
You know why?
Because your hair looks cooler when it's like kind of hot hoodie because it's been like straightened and it's kind of flow.
That's gay and self-centered.
You have a myopic obsession with yourself.
I'm embarrassed.
If you could turn your mic on, Crip, Daddy, isn't it for your generation?
My mic?
Yes.
My mic is on shit for brains.
Okay.
Hi, Crip.
Hey, hello.
How are you today?
Good.
I was just being a faggot and playing with my hair.
Yeah, you're allowed to style your hair when you wake up.
That's what people have been doing since probably the 1400s.
But it's these fucking hats.
Yeah.
It's kind of anti-Semitic, too, because Jews with curly hair will wear their hat to try to straighten their hair like they're not proud of their curls.
Oh, is that why they do it?
Yeah.
I thought that was just where they put the little device that controls the weather in.
They put their tinfoil under it.
They hide their yarmulcas under their wool hat.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Did you see the infamous slap last night?
Oh, buddy.
I've been up all night making jokes about it.
Give us your top 10.
Oh, man.
My favorite one is despite black actors only making up 6% of the Oscar winners, they make up all of the assaults.
Oh, you got to say 100% of the assaults.
100%.
Sorry.
I'm still trying to get my racist boots on.
I'll help you with any racist tips you need.
Now, the jury is out as far as how real it was.
I think it was real, but people say that he leaned into it.
He didn't expect it to be that big of a slap, but a slap was definitely pre-written.
What do you think?
I think that we are giving Hollywood a bit too much credit for doing something cool and interesting instead of this just being two petty black people being petty.
Yeah, good point.
They've never done anything remotely fun at all.
I mean, they, well, was Ricky Gervais, he wasn't the Oscars, was he?
I feel like I made the joke that he was, but I don't think he might have been.
Or it might have been the Emmys or some shit.
Yeah, I think it was a little more hip.
But the Oscars has been stultifyingly dull.
You can list on one hand anything that was remotely unusual, and it was always the actors.
Like there was Marlon Brando had that chick, that Indian woman, come up and accept the Oscar because we're too mean to Indians or some bullshit.
And then there was Gone with the Wind, where they said no Negroes, but Clark Gable or whoever said, no, no, I want my fellow Negro to come on the, at least be able to sit with us.
Ooh.
Both of those were 100 years ago.
Yeah, Golden Globes was Ricky Gervais.
So, yeah, you're right.
All the jokes were fucking dull, and there's no way they would do something as exciting as keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth.
Yeah, no.
I don't think that Will Smith is capable of Being anything other than completely unhinged at this point.
I heard he was a fag.
That didn't make sense.
That adds up.
That would explain Jada Pinkett Smith getting all that ancillary cock.
He probably wants her in Tupac Punk all the time.
Say you were Chris Rock, and Will Smith came and slapped you.
What's your next line?
I'm doubling down and saying that you couldn't make me fall out of my chair, but your wife's hair fell out of her head.
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah, I would say something like, nice work, Will.
Way to bring the black race back 50 years.
We finally get up here, despite what your cunt wife says.
We're finally up here and being represented, and then you bring it back to world star hip-hop.
Way to go, moron, you ghetto.
Yeah.
I just think it would have been better if he doubled down and just went twice as hard the way any comedian should have.
Right.
Well, he's so famous and so coddled and so pampered that he was totally floored by the slap.
And the remaining jokes he did were so fucking awkward.
Yeah.
You can't act like it didn't happen.
You need to lean into it for the entirety of while you're up there now.
That's your job.
Yeah.
Look at Sid Vicious in their last show in Texas where he gets smashed in the face.
He's got blood pouring down his face and he just finishes the set.
Rock it out.
That's what you do.
You got to commit to the bit.
Yeah, I would, you know, at that point, just fucking get World Star in next year.
They sponsor.
They host.
We can turn it around.
Make the Oscars black.
Really black.
I got to say, your whole pretending to be crippled thing is really effective.
You have the voice down.
You sound exactly like that.
I am beyond angry, guy.
Yep.
And the way you make your wrists go like that and never falter.
Beyond angry.
I've never seen you straighten your hand or do anything.
You have committed to this character.
Oh, yeah.
No, I'm making Daniel Day-Lewis look like a fucking bitch.
All right.
Well, thanks for coming on the show, dude.
Let's check in tomorrow.
Absolutely.
All right.
Do your bath on Wednesday so we have plenty of crip time.
Bye.
Okay.
I do wanted to get to this.
I do wanted to get to.
Did you just get slapped by Will Smith?
Are we...
Should I...
I wanted to talk about racism, but I have to...
Whoa.
That is how you act, too, when you get punched.
Sometimes in sparring, I get punched in the face so hard that I put my arms down and go, whoa.
Like, it is a reboot.
And that's why cops do it.
People are so outraged when they see an arrest and they see a cop going like that.
They assume that that's not what you're supposed to do.
Yes, you're supposed to do that.
It unplugs the computer and plugs it back in again.
It's a wake-up call.
Anyway, I want to get into racism, but before we do, and it would be great if I just jumped right into racism because that's kind of the theme we've been talking about so far.
But I can't let this wait till tomorrow.
This is the fucking craziest story I've heard in forever.
And I've been obsessed with it all weekend.
So I think it was Saturday morning I learned Ben Dominic.
He's the Dominic, Dominic.
I knew him way before he met Megan McCain and became fat.
He used to be a slender hunk.
And then I guess he moved down south where they love their chicken, their fried, deep fried foods.
And him and Megan just fucking barbecued themselves into obesity.
But he's still a great guy.
He's just very chubby.
And so he runs the Federalist.
Fantastic website.
A little too highbrow for my taste.
I like garbage culture.
I'm punk and tacky.
But it's a fantastic website.
Oh my God.
He was gorgeous.
I remember him saying to me, like, I did want to get you on the Federalist doing the podcast and stuff, but, you know, you're so controversial.
It's such a headache.
And I have to figure out a way to get you in.
I was like, Ben, you've assumed that I'm dying to be part of the Federalist.
Like, that's not a thing.
Pre-Megan, post-Megan.
Look, he grew a beard to try to hide this spherical nature of his head.
It's pretty obvious, dude.
It's what a beanie is to balding, a beard is to fatting.
I remember I was on Kennedy with Megan McCain once, and one of the girls had stilettos.
And Megan said something like, oh, girl, those are bedroom shoes.
You show those to a man, and he's yours forever.
And she was wearing stilettos, too.
And it popped in my head that I would love to fuck her.
She's probably a fantastic lay.
But I was married, and now she is too.
Megan and McCain and I will never fuck.
Isn't that amazing?
Oh, she was Slender One too.
God, their chef is too good for his own britches.
He's too good for their britches.
They had to get all new britches.
Anyway, sorry, what a dumb tangent.
So anyway, this is fucking crazy.
Vox workers go on strike.
Why did they go on strike?
I want to do a green screen of this later.
There's this sort of assumption that all of this left-wing journalism is really good.
And we really give a shit about bathrooms and fucking trans this and why that dude deserved to win in the female swimming.
All their dumb, woke shit, they think has merit.
I don't understand why.
You've been taught it since kindergarten, so you think you're a real journalist.
No.
If you work at Wapo and Daily Beast and HuffPo, you're working at a cat block.
You're working at Gawker.
You're a joke.
So they go on strike.
They don't Understand that their whole job is a charity.
This goes for vice too.
Post-Gav vice.
It's just charity.
But then they go, Well, I need more money.
I'm only getting paid $20 an article.
You deserve less.
I deserve $20 to read your article.
You should be paying people to read your shit, which used to happen back in the free market days in the early 90s.
If you sucked, you'd have a fanzine and you'd give it out for free.
In other words, you were paying people to read your garbage.
Like Voice of Montreal.
But no, we made a profit with ads.
But these people go on strike because they think that they have value.
Anyway, I'm dragging this out way too long.
I'll let Ben explain it.
Play the thingamajink.
I tweeted out, FYI at Federalist, first one of you tries to unionize, I swear I'll send you back to the salt mine.
Federalist employees were amused.
They joked about selling branded salt shakers and writing sympathetic vignettes about union rebels from the Federalist salt mines.
Then things took an unfunny turn.
The National Labor Relations Board informed me a random person on Twitter, someone who's never been a Federalist media employee, filed a formal complaint about my tweet, claiming my Twitter joke constituted an unfair labor practice.
Yes, that's right.
A stranger to my organization claimed to be an aggrieved person under the National Labor Relations Act because he, unlike the Federalists' actual employees, did not find my joke amusing.
He alleged I had violated Section 8A1 of the NLRA, which says it is an unfair labor practice for an employer to interfere with, restrain, or coerce employees in the exercise of their rights to organize or join units.
Okay, so you get the idea.
So it's off to court now.
On the taxpayer's dollar, of course.
And this is what I said to Ron Coleman.
I go, why do judges exist if we're all autobots?
Automatrons?
We're all robots.
What the fuck?
Any adult male, and probably a lot of 12-year-olds, would see that and go, yeah, no, he wasn't serious.
Anyway, this doesn't.
Get this off my desk.
I don't want this.
It's not real.
But they go, okay, that's fucked up.
Yeah, we'll start pressing charges.
Do we even have salt mines in America?
Where do we get our salt from?
We should just get it from the ocean.
It's right there.
I can almost see the ocean out my window.
Although, what are we, what's it called when you're sort of saltwater, but sort of not?
I think the Hudson is like flacker or whatever it's called.
Why am I asking Ryan that?
I guess I assumed he'd look it up.
But there is zero, literally zero percent chance someone at the Federalist is concerned that they will end up in the salt mines.
What?
And this started in June of 2019.
It's 2022.
Three years this has been going through the courts?
How much fucking money has been wasted on this mediocre joke?
It's not even an adventurous joke.
You know what an adventurous joke would be?
It would be a formal letter sent to all the employees explaining what salt mine they'd be going to to make it look totally believable.
So some of them believed it.
Like if you could actually convince a third of your employees that you were considering sending them to a salt mine, well, first of all, you can't do that.
You just quit.
You can't make me go anywhere.
Like the joke can't be taken literally.
It's impossible.
Hey, Ryan, go to the salt mines.
No, thank you.
Yes, you have to.
How?
I'm making you go to the salt mine in Okanagua.
Here I go.
How do I get you there?
Like, is there a bus outside?
We'll just jump out at the next stop sign.
Holy Vey.
It looks kind of cool.
It does look cool.
I'd like to work in a salt mine.
Yeah.
And, you know, coal mines, you're all dirty and you get black lung.
I bet it's kind of good for you to work in a salt mine.
Yeah.
It's all white.
Get some electrolytes, you just lick the walls.
Yeah, it looks great.
A goat or a ram would love to work in mine.
I'd do some hard labor again.
Look at that.
I don't want to end up like Chris Rock, where getting punched completely fucks my brain up and I can't speak after.
Did we ever finish that?
Finish the end of the clip when he keeps talking about documentary.
Documentary in the danger, that's MC Bass, man.
Good song.
Okay, that guy's fucking old, man.
He must be like 55.
I know I'm 51, but I'm not.
So this, we now have solved it.
This goes back to 2017.
Okay.
That was a greatest night in the history of television.
That wasn't a night.
That was an event in a night.
I mean, you could say this is the greatest night of...
Yeah, but you can't see it.
That is kind of a cool quip, though.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So we are here to give a documentary out, to give an Oscar out for best documentary.
Now, the beauty of documentaries, because they make you, when you watch one, you feel smart.
Like you watch them, like, you know, like you read a book or something.
See, doesn't he sound like...
Wait a minute, stop, stop.
He sounds like someone has been handed a Chris Rock script and try to be funny like Chris Rock.
And he's like, okay, I'll try, but it's not really my style.
Whoa.
He's outside of himself.
He's not Chris Rock.
Chris Rock Smith slapped the Chris Rock out of him.
He just got rocked, sir.
Best smacked or watched him like, you know, like you read a book or something.
But all you really did was get high and watch Netflix.
That's not how you deliver jokes.
And it's not how you deliver jokes, Chris.
More importantly, yeah.
Somebody hand him a Snickers.
That's a great Snicker commercial.
Not you when you're done with it.
You know what you do?
You hand him a Snickers, and then you play the beginning of the video before Will Smith.
That was it.
Actually, let's do that.
Let's hand him a Snickers.
I really want to expand our free shit section.
Like, I was talking to some people about the site, and they're like, you should bring back debates.
No.
That's way too much work to get Cornell West and Candace Owens in a room, costs a fucking fortune, takes forever.
I'm not doing that.
If someone else wants to do it, go nuts.
Go, if you're watching, go set up a debate.
I'm not doing that anymore.
But I do like the idea of tons of free shit.
This will soon be populated with all the things we've ever put for free.
So it's all in one place.
You could share it with people.
And you can share that with your friends.
Although you can't share the URL on DMs.
Yeah.
Now we're going to have to email or text it to someone.
An alternate URL.
Or if you space out after the period.
You put the period, you put space, then .tv or whatever.
It's being done.
You put dot in square brackets or whatever.
Yeah.
Okay, so let's just see the end of this so we can.
Oh, that was it?
Oh, that's it?
The Oscars thing?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Fuck.
I mean, we could see if we could find this in the middle.
All you did was get stone and watch Netflix.
I'm doing it better than him.
I can't do it as bad as him.
You know, you feel smart.
You watch a documentary.
You feel smart like you read a book or something.
And all you really did was smoke a joint and watch Netflix.
Chris Rock would be like, people watch a documentary, they feel smart.
You ain't smart.
You just smoked a joint and watched Netflix.
He breaks down Oscar's 2022 speech after hitting Chris Rock.
Oh, see, that's another reason I know it's true.
Because in his speech, it's all about him.
And he says, King Richard, this is the king of Wakanda speaking.
King Richard protected his family.
And he was all about protecting his family.
Not just his kids, but his wife, in case someone said something really unfortunate about his wife.
Oh.
It didn't go that far, but that's what he was getting at.
So he was covering his ass in his speech.
And guess what?
It worked.
And that's how weak we all are.
Some perp.
Wouldn't that be funny if fucking Chris Rock charged him with assault?
Yeah.
You charged him with the salt mine?
Assalt mine is just about.
You got to be able to take abuse.
You got to be able to have people talk crazy about you.
He means talk shit.
In this business, you got to be able to have people disrespecting you.
And you got to smile.
You got to pretend like that's okay.
I want to apologize to the Academy.
I want to apologize to all my fellow nominees.
I'm ghetto.
But I'm black, bitch.
This is a beautiful moment.
Wouldn't it be awesome if he said, I have a confession to make.
I'm not ashamed of what I did.
I am a proud boy.
That'd be a good thing.
I got my first degree a few days ago.
I'm getting my tattoo this week.
It's a wonderful organization, gravely misunderstood, but we have a motto.
And the proud boys, fuck around and find out.
Chris Rock fucked around and he found out.
I was giving him his second degree.
He actually, I don't know if you saw this, but while it was hitting him, he rapidly named five breakfast cereals.
And so after the first punch, we were done.
I had a big argument with a proud boy on the weekend about honey nut Cheerios.
Are Cheerios and Honey Nut Cheerios two different things?
I would say yes.
What would you say?
That was my case.
And he was like, it's like New York, New York.
Yeah.
It's within Cheerios.
It's a type of Cheerios.
It's like Catholicism, Protestantism.
They're both Christianity.
Okay, but Protestantism and Catholicism are very different.
Yeah, I don't know.
Oh, fuck.
I have the craziest Proud Boy story to tell.
Remember this dude, Brandon Vaughan?
Sounds a little familiar.
So he was in Ottawa, Canada.
He was at some like, I don't know, anti-jihad, anti-Sharia thing.
And the Jewish Defense League, when Proud Boy started out, the JDL kept showing up to our things and doing security because they're like, you're standing up to radical Islam.
Radical Islam wants to kill us.
So they got along.
They were kind of members, really.
And so they go, hey, man, we're going to this pro-Israel thing in D.C. Do you want to come down?
We'll pay for everything.
He goes, sure, I'll fucking come down.
So Brandon is a hoser, which is our rednecks, Canadian rednecks.
And hoser is like a good scrap because of hockey.
So he goes down there.
This lunatic Palestinian professor attacks the group.
And he's grabbing Israeli flags and breaking the fucking staffs, whatever.
And he's pushing people.
And so the JDLs are, they start fighting back.
This professor jumps Brandon.
Brandon gives him a quick tune-up, like pop-pop, shove, sends him down.
That's it.
This is 2017.
And the professor then goes on a rampage.
Palestinian attacked by Israelis.
That doesn't work, though, because Israelis are Jews are 3% of the population, so it's not fashionable to criticize Jews.
But once they found out that he was a proud boy, and he wasn't when he went down, I don't think.
I think he joined when he got back.
Now we can sink our teeth into that.
Proud boys, they're evil.
So that's his name, Brandon Vaughn.
The Jews just threw him under the bus, totally ignored him.
They paid For his plane ticket.
They're the reason he's there.
And they pretended they didn't know him.
And he gets charged with a hate crime.
So I set him up with a lawyer, and we work.
And it's very strange the way the courts are acting.
They're losing the case.
They're forgetting about it.
This was fucking five years ago.
So the lawyer we get says, look, dude, I think it's coming down to just don't come back to the States.
To which Brandon's like, fine, I can't believe this is happening.
He hung out there after the shove and was talking to cops and stuff.
He didn't get arrested there.
And here's a weird thing.
He gets back to Ottawa and there's an article in like the Ottawa Citizen or an Ottawa paper that says, not so proud now.
And the journalist at the Ottawa Citizen knew about this case and the hate crime charges before Brandon did, before Brandon's lawyer did, before Brandon had a lawyer.
And that's the way it kept going.
The media kept knowing about this case before we did, before Brandon did.
His parents got to know my parents because they're both in Ottawa.
His parents came over for dinner and stuff and were lamenting it.
Oh, there's a picture, a totally unrelated picture of him getting handcuffed during a hijab hoax protest.
Yeah.
Completely separate.
Yeah.
But, you know, you don't read that quickly.
You just see the headline, you see the guy.
So anyway, years go by.
Five years goes by.
And he goes, I guess this is over?
The fuck was that?
And I said to his lawyer, I go, whatever happened with all that?
And he goes, I don't know.
The last time I spoke to him, we just prayed.
And I go, okay, that doesn't sound very effective legal technique, but okay.
And about a week ago, no, sorry, about two months ago, the RCMP kicks down his door, grabs him, throws him into a van, drives him to the airport, flies him to DC to face trial for his hate crime.
What?
Then he gets in front of a judge.
The judge says, okay, they set a date, but you have to wait in jail while you're, because you're too dangerous of a flight risk because you're an evil terrorist.
They put him in a disgusting shithole of a jail.
D.C. is some of the worst jails in the world.
And he gets like a brutal, I think, staph infection in there.
He almost dies.
Anyway, he's there.
He's sick.
He's in the hospital.
He misses his first court date because he's in the hospital, dying of a staph infection from this disgusting jail.
And the whole time he's in there, he can't get a hold of anyone.
The few times he can talk to his lawyer, his lawyer says, yeah, I talked to everyone involved.
They said you're looking at 15 to 25 years.
So he goes, okay, I'm just going to kill myself.
Fuck it.
So he plans to off himself.
And he's thinking of ways to do it.
And then he shows up in court.
He goes through the process yesterday.
And they go, or was it yesterday?
Maybe it was this morning?
It was either Friday or this morning.
It was very recently.
Past few days.
They go, yeah, I don't know.
We saw the video.
He started it.
Misdemeanor, I guess.
Wow.
Don't worry about it.
You're free to go.
And I was thinking, were they trying to get him to kill himself?
Or were they trying to get him to spill the beans?
No one interrogated him.
So the idea that he was just there so he would flip on like me or someone doesn't make sense because he never had the opportunity.
In fact, that hasn't happened to my knowledge since John Kinsman was taken out of his cell over at Bear Hill Correctional Facility, put in a room, and the CEO said, after January 6th, they go, what's the next plan?
What's the next attack?
And he goes, what are you offering?
He's just having fun with them.
Can you get me out of here?
He says.
They go, no?
What are you crazy?
We can get you McDonald's.
I've told you the story before.
He goes, McDonald's is half an hour from here.
It's going to be freezing cold when it gets back.
You offer me $10 of free frozen garbage to what?
Tell you that the next attack is January 12th?
So they're not sending their best.
So maybe the original plan was to get him to flip, but they didn't get around to interrogating him.
That's actually probably the most reasonable theory so far.
Anyway, as of 11 a.m. this morning, I had Proud Boys go down there, pick him up at the jail cell, set him up.
I don't know.
I haven't spoken to him yet.
Why don't we text right now?
I don't know if he has a passport.
They just threw him on a plane.
I got Dusty Bogan on my phone rocking out.
It kind of seems like a lot of the January 6th things are kind of going towards that way, too.
I mean, there were some harsh sentences like a shaman guide, but none of them, to my knowledge, have been over a year, correct?
Shaman got four years, five years.
Oh, wow.
But with good behavior, what is that, two?
He's looking at two?
No.
The best you can get is 80% of your sentence and maybe six months off if you take a bunch of classes and stuff.
His lawyer, here's the update.
His lawyer called me, and we have no idea when he'll be released, but it'll be today.
This is from today.
Some of the guys are meeting up in blank to stand by.
I spoke with his father.
He's very appreciative.
My willingness to help.
I'll update you as soon as I get info.
How fucking insane is that?
It is.
The guy who grabbed the podium got 75 days.
Okay.
You would think he was super high profile.
That, you know, why did he get less than shaman?
What did the shaman do?
He was the most visible.
It's all about optics.
Right.
I mean, there was this guy from a tattoo shop, and I was actually looking into it.
I was like, right-wing tattoo shops.
Because I'm looking for tattoos, and then it's all like, you know, like lefties, like Satan and LGBT.
Like, I want to go to a fucking right-wing.
So I was like, all right, I couldn't find right-wing.
So I was like, white supremacist tattoo shop.
I'm looking for basically Antifa to have listed them as a bad tattoo shop so I can go to them.
And this guy from Newburgh, which is kind of where I grew up, he was, I think, an oath keeper.
And he's been in jail since after that.
But he got his whole.
You're blurry.
I'm not.
Yeah, your background is crystal clear.
He got arrested, and he wound up not pleading guilty.
And that's going good for him.
Him and a couple other guys just basically got nothing.
But the guy who pled guilty, he accepted conspiracy charges and shit.
So it's like he fell for the scare.
So by pleading guilty, he got a shit.
Sean and Max pled not guilty and they got four years.
So who knows?
David Kyriakos was on trial with them and he said, fuck you.
I'm brown.
You're going to try to make this all about racism.
And the jury's going to see my brown skin and go, fuck you.
So I'm saying, fuck you.
And they went, well, you're in big trouble now.
And he goes, I don't think I am.
I think you're bluffing.
And they went, we're not bluffing.
Okay, we're bluffing.
You're free to go.
So, yeah, I was told that it's good to not take a plea with Jan 6 because they have to prove whatever it is, insurrection, conspiracy charges.
They have to prove that.
And it's really difficult to prove, especially if you didn't.
But the problem with Joe Biggs and Enrique Tario is they're very, anything Nordine is they're very visual.
They're well known.
So the jury's going to make an example out of them.
You know what's one weird thing about that?
So when they wrote up this article, this guy Tattoo Shop got Antifa attacked it.
They were like, proud boys go home.
And the article didn't show a picture of this.
It says Antifa did this in spray paint.
They said there was an Antifa sticker on the window, and they didn't mention the broken window at all.
It was journalists to be punished.
It's a terrible article.
Like call that person and say, why the fuck didn't you mention the spray paint?
Look at this shit.
I mean, I've done it a few times.
Who is Isabel Keene?
Is that the cunt?
Yeah.
Okay, so they mentioned it.
There was this one article.
They didn't mention that or the Gladys.
I'm sitting here saying, we have to contact these journalists, and you're like, that's her.
And then I see with my own eyes that she mentions the graffiti and the.
That wasn't the one.
Right, so don't say, yeah, that's her.
There's a couple of articles about it.
They didn't mention the guy's name at all in the article.
They're just like, here's the tattoo shop affiliated with Oath Keepers or blah, blah, blah.
And then out of nowhere, they're like, the shop and Minuta, blah, blah, blah, claims and we're like, who the fuck's Minuta?
And then you read further and then they say Robert Minuta.
So they mention his name as if you know it.
So it's bad editing.
It was probably listed there earlier.
They cut it out and they didn't see the other places.
It's bad art.
Incompetent editor.
Speaking of incompetence, let's switch gears for a second here.
I've been noticing that geniuses aren't that smart.
Totally new topic here.
Lose the Proud Boys.
I'll keep you posted on Brandon.
I'm watching Thomas Sowell, and I think intellectualism is dead.
This could be a green screen.
But I'm watching Thomas Sowell, and I have this book, Black Rednecks, White Liberals.
And I'm reading it going, the fucking...
So his contention is that the reason you have ghetto culture, like we saw with Will Smith and Chris Rock, is my fault.
Scottish people were the first culture that the freed slaves saw in the South.
And Scots swear a lot.
They're drunk all the time.
They fornicate.
They pick fights.
So that became black culture.
So again, we're blaming the white man for our problems.
And how do you explain black behavior in Ghana and Brazil and Finland?
So I started watching these videos that he did.
And everyone just accepts that Thomas Sowell is the greatest intellect of our time.
He's a black William F. Buckley, right?
It's just a given.
And I've accepted it as a given.
But I'm reading this book going, this guy seems inept.
And he also talks about a lot of books that I don't think he's read.
And this is, I found this on YouTube where he says, first of all, his contention is that this Celts, the Irish and the Scots, Catholics, are responsible for Southern culture and that's responsible for black bad behavior.
Kind of a tenuous list of dominoes there, right?
But he calls that the Celtic theory.
Okay, I don't think it's a theory, dude, besides you.
I'm sure that Scots influence Southern culture, but to pin it on blacks and say that's why blacks behave badly is kind of risky.
Anyway, check out this little clip here.
It's perhaps the most thorough historical study of the values and behavioral patterns of white southerners.
Many other scholarly studies have turned up very similar patterns, even when they differed in some ways as to the causes.
Professor David Hackett Fisher's Albion Seed, for example, challenges the Celtic connection thesis put forth by Professor McWiney.
Stop.
He hasn't read Albion Seed.
I got this book because it was on Nick and Milo's America First Reading List.
It's very dense.
It's hard to get through.
It's this fucking thick, too.
It doesn't refute anything.
The first theory, by the way, the first book he said doesn't say that all of Southern culture is directly related to Scotch-Irish culture.
It says that you can see a lot of Scots-Irish influence in Southern culture.
It doesn't necessarily say that that's the origin of the South, and it doesn't necessarily say that's the origin of America.
Albion Seed is totally unrelated.
It doesn't mention the South at all or the Celts.
Albion Seed says there are three districts in England that seem, or three or four, that seem to have vastly influenced The entire Northeast.
Philadelphia, Boston, New York, all of this, obviously, not New York City, that's the Dutch, but 90% of the Northeast comes from these three small areas in England.
Nothing to do with the South, nothing to do with Scots.
But it sounds good if you haven't read either book.
And that's when I'm thinking, like, maybe Thomas Sowell's a moron?
This is the kind of thing I would do in college, by the way.
I would get a book, I'd read the back, I'd read like the first chapter, and then I'd put it in my essay and cite it as a footnote like I read it.
And this talk that he's doing here, I think it's someone reading from the book I'm talking about, Black, Red, Next, White Liberals.
I think that it's just made up.
I think Thomas Sowell might be full of shit.
Anyway, keep going with that.
But shows many of the same cultural patterns among the same people, both in Britain and in the American South.
No.
Popular writings of the 19th and 20th centuries have likewise described similar behaviors.
I'll be in seed.
It's all about the Northeast.
What are you talking about, Thomas?
You just crowbarred a fancy book into your argument.
And then that brings me to Michael Pollan.
I used to consider him one of the greatest intellectuals of our time.
His book, The Botany of Desire, is one of my favorite books.
It's a fascinating book where he says, we don't rule plants.
They rule us.
Like apples noticed that when they're sweeter, we plant them more.
So apples became sweeter.
So we'd plant more of them.
Apples tasted like fucking gross mush back in the turn of the century, back in the 1900s.
But when we started, we were planting them.
Johnny Appleseed wasn't planting them because they were yummy for apple pies.
He was planting them so we would use them to ferment to make alcohol.
That's what we used apples for.
No one ate them.
They were gross.
But then they started making sweeter ones and apples obliged.
Fascinating book, brilliant guy.
So I'm watching him on Joe Rogan.
And he says that we discovered caffeine in 1650 and that led to the Industrial Revolution.
I drank boiling water or hot beverages before.
So this gave this incredible public health boost to these places.
And then you have the drug that basically fosters a kind of more linear, rational, focused way of thinking.
And so there is a lot of evidence linking coffee and tea consumption with the Enlightenment in France and with the Age of Reason in England.
And people in the 1600s started writing about it.
So they're like, wow, people, you know, we have this new civil and sober drink that we, and it was so popular because it was new, that people drank less and they used more caffeine.
And that, I think, makes possible things like the Industrial Revolution because what?
The Industrial Revolution was 1800 to 1900.
He just said coffee was discovered in 1650.
The Industrial Revolution didn't really get its wings until 1850.
That's 200 years.
It took 200 years of drinking coffee to get going?
No, you fucking dunce.
Stick to apple trees, moron.
The Industrial Revolution happened because Bill Symington, my guy from Lead Hill, Scotland, figured out a way to put the steam engine on its side, and all of a sudden you could mass produce things.
Then we had factories.
Once you got factories, you got wealth.
You got world domination.
You have the Industrial Revolution.
Coffee?
200 years earlier?
Maybe it's because I'm getting old, but all my heroes are turning out to be full of shit.
Which brings us, of course, to Oxford.
I was talking to a friend about this.
He just discovered the Otis Simbos.
Oxford.
It was considered Cambridge, Oxford, these were the most intelligent academic institutions, not just in the world, but in history.
Oxford.
And doing a talk at Oxford, it just meant you're a god.
Like Michael Pollan and fucking Thomas Sowell wouldn't be invited to Oxford.
Now who do we have?
Terrence Howard, a man who thinks that one times one is not one.
Quite good models in there of how they connect together and how you have managed to put it into a 3D shape rather than just people looking at 2D.
Perhaps you wanted to explain a little bit about that.
Yeah, the idea of like one of the things I've been saying, the Euclidean mindset has kept us so locked away.
Like there's tons of paperwork of Da Vinci working on the flower of life and trying to unravel it.
But every single existence, every single example, you see him making straight lines and trying to make these straight lines bend in, and therefore he was never able to open it up.
Because all the universe is curved.
There's tons of paperwork of Da Vinci.
You must love listening to Terrence Howard.
You must feel like an intellectual around it.
You know who else did a talk at Oxford recently?
Curfew.
What's her name?
Anne Lynn McCord.
Remember her?
She's the one who said, if I was your mother, Putin, I would have held you close.
I would have loved you.
That's Anne McCord.
Anne Lynn.
What kind of name is Anne Lynn?
She has a capital L in the middle of her name.
If I was your mother, I would be a start towards the awareness of what a powerful being of light you could be if your mind was only free from the violence you've seen when you were just two or three.
I cannot believe I was born too late.
So, look, people at ET Canada are laughing at her.
You know you've hit rock bottom, Wayne.
But here she is at Oxford.
Coming up?
A slave.
That's Oxford.
That is the bastion of intellect for the Western world.
And there she is in her fucking thigh-high slut boots, in her Hunts Point prostitute gear.
Turn it up.
I'm so thankful to Ashton Kutcher and obviously Angelina Jalee.
She says 17 years ago she went to Cambodia and it changed her life.
Same thing for me just eight years ago.
It's a magical place.
If you ever get a chance to go, I hope you do.
Wow, she's got crazy girl lipstick on teeth.
She has no kids, but she goes and helps children all over the third world.
Thanks.
The girls loved me, and I didn't think I deserved to be loved.
I didn't think that anyone would love me.
I didn't think I was lovable.
I struggle with worth issues, feeling that I'm worthy.
And they said I was worthy.
They just loved me for who I am.
And I fought it.
I didn't know how to take it.
I didn't know how when you're abused, you just believe that anything good isn't an attack.
Slurpee.
Sorry, I didn't get that.
Would you like for me to hold while you get a pen and paper?
Christianthenum.
Sorry, I didn't get that.
Would you like one night while you get a pen and paper?
Let's go to the mailbag.
Sorry, I didn't get that.
Hello.
I'm calling with the information you're doing.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes together.
It's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Um, I forgot my computer.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I left it at Gav's Tav.
I went into my local bar yesterday.
Guess who was there?
Who that?
Nobody.
What?
The owner and the bartender were rolling marijuana cigarettes in the basement.
There was not one person in the bar.
So I walked behind the bar and I grabbed myself a Budweiser and I sat down and I thought, this is just Gav's Tav.
But I can't control the TV like I can at Gavstav.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
You know what's great about GavsTav?
I get to hang out with my wife.
She doesn't like going to bars because she has to get all dressed up and then drive home and blah, blah, blah.
I go, it's just the basement.
Here, here's a cigarette.
Here's a glass of Cabernet.
And then after one, she goes up to bed.
It's pretty lit.
Call Jay Johnson and get wasted.
Of course, I'm suffering today.
Plus, I drink whiskey on Sundays now.
That's right.
And I wet the bed.
Whoops.
Okay, how's this for an idea, Ryan?
I'm going to go to my computer, and you film me going over to my computer.
Okay.
The only problem is people will realize that the ghetto blaster is sitting on a stepladder.
We're peeling back the fourth wall.
That's fine.
Here.
Take this.
Your phone?
I thought you were going to use that camera.
And then put it in front of you.
Well, we could have two shots to go.
Can you hear me now?
You can.
Yeah, if you don't know, man.
Look at this.
And then over here, we have.
Sid.
Isn't that fun?
This was...
Susby's wanted a 30 grand for that.
So I just printed it out at Kinko's for $100.
That's what cheap, rich punks do.
All right.
Mm-mm.
Look, there's my computer screen.
Sick.
Waitoya Yamaguchi taking out the trash.
Whoops.
Okay.
Put in my passcode, which is of course the same as my PIN, which is 4382.
It pays just to have one number used for everything.
Your computer passwords.
You know what I mean?
Uh-uh.
Okay.
Is this the only shot you have, Ryan?
Yeah, this other shot ain't so great.
I mean...
Here, look.
I don't know if you could see it.
Finding it harder and harder to respect Russia as a formidable foe, given that it's taken them almost a month by all Western media takes.
By the way, I was talking to Mercedes Carrera last night on the phone from prison.
Her theory is that Muslims are too stupid to do 9-11, and it was definitely the Russians.
And then she cited some terrorist act that happened on 11-9.
Not a bad theory.
Videos of Russian B-Was getting kneecapped, their own soldiers running down their officers.
Is this the same country that the left wants us to believe hacked the election?
These Ruskies couldn't hack eastern Ukraine cities with Nazi LARPers guarding them.
What's your take?
I don't know.
You know, my take is: I thought the war was fake from the beginning.
That Zelensky and Putin decided they'll do a two-month thing where there'll be a bunch of dead bodies, and then the deal will be he'll get the ethnically Russian part of Ukraine and a commitment to never join NATO ever.
Hey, Gavin, after you brought up your broken promise of sucking on a piece of poo, by the way, I'm still working on that.
I just can't find a piece of poo.
It's not easy to come by, believe it or not.
I may have to use my own dog's shit.
It reminded me of another promise you said, and then he shows an episode of Get Off My Lawn from years ago where I said that I would kill myself.
I bet my life that Pete Buttigig won't win.
But I also, in that same episode, allegedly, are you pulling it up?
Yep.
I allegedly said, I will eat a $100 bill if Trump loses in 2020.
So that's on my to-do list now.
Suck off a piece of shit and eat a $100 bill.
That sucks.
Oh, good.
Here's the meme I was talking about earlier.
Get beyond the no.
It's a stage.
That's racist.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's racist.
No, it's not.
That's racist.
I don't care.
That's racist.
Thanks for noticing.
Would you pull that up?
It's up.
Would you rather permanently trade bodies with Perry Caravello or Joe Tonelli?
You keep your mind and your memories.
That's a pretty good one.
Joe's body sucks.
He's in the hospital right now with some infection, trachea infection, and he had one of his discs in his neck fixed, so his body's garbage.
I'd have to take Perry Caravello's fat piece of shit.
Hey, Gavi, you know how you always remind Ryan that a male using female avatars is gay?
Well, here's proof you're correct.
See the links.
And he's got a bunch of Daily Mail screen grabs from Jamie Lee Curtis's son, who would use a female avatar while gaming.
I think this is a major part of the trans movement.
He's just a gay.
He's just a weak gay.
Look at his stature.
Look at his posture here with Jamie holding his weird arms.
Does he have a disease?
I shouldn't be making fun of him if he's crippled.
And now he's abroad.
An ugly dude.
An ugly goth dude who thinks he's named Ruby.
Dear Queen Cobalt and Fag Supreme, if your takeaway from the Will Smith thing is anything other than this is Stage Hollywood bullshit, you must be retarded.
Well, then I'm retarded.
It's obvious that Chris was bracing for and even leaning into the slap.
And yet smooth-brained Ukraine fags across the nation are shitting a collective brick over this non-story.
If this thing had happened in a line of McDonald's, it would be less than a fart in the wind.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, it's a bigger deal now that it's at the Oscars.
As Shakespeare said, all the world's a stage.
So you're wrong, Jake.
Fucking boob.
Someone wants us to put up the bald eagle tattoo.
I put it up on my Getter account.
You can go there and see it.
I didn't get the shine on his head, and I deeply regret it.
Lauren Dowdy was right.
Someone's asked about my gold necklace.
I don't know.
You can tell how long it is by the way.
It lays on my neck, you fucking moron.
Hi, Gavin.
I grew up religious, so I didn't grow up interacting with girls.
So over the past two years, I've been interacting with strangers online.
I'm on the app, and I tend to talk to Colombian girls.
I have some weird fucking stories about falling in love with strangers on this app, but I'm repeatedly blown away at how much these girls love being abused.
They love being told to slap themselves across the face, use a brush or belt.
They will tie their necks with their socks and fuck their throat.
Not blowjobs, throat fucking.
I'm not ignoring the fact that this makes me a pervert or as the kids say, kinky for watching and participating, but I sometimes ask why they like it and I never get a straight answer.
However, a few girls that I have built a relationship with have admitted to me that they don't have boyfriends because they'd rather be told they are a whore and beat themselves up for strangers online rather than having a loving, committed man in their lives.
I was inspired to write this message because of the perverted professor who was doxing people.
That's, of course, anti-fash Gordon, Christian Exu.
And how they like being abused.
I'm pretty based and not Antifa, but I'm sharing this to add to the open discourse.
Yeah, I got in a lot of trouble for saying that, but a lot of women like abuse, but it's consensual abuse.
They like it rough.
Sex is a weird thing.
I haven't figured it out, and I've been on the earth for half a century.
This is why I don't want it anywhere near kids.
I got those pictures you sent me.
Those texts.
Of chicks saying fucked up things?
No, moron.
That's a totally different story.
Okay.
We'll cover that tomorrow.
Yeah, finally, someone says that Ben Crump is covering that kid who fell down at the fair.
Remember this guy?
He was at Six Flags and he fell out of the falling machine.
It falls down at like 75 miles an hour and he slipped out of it.
His thing wasn't on properly.
And my theory is, because they were too scared to tell him to put the thing on.
So, you know, it goes over your head and there's that ka-junk thing?
The bird which is the bald eagle.
He's making this racial?
It might be racial, but it's not the kind of racism he thinks.
I think the guy who was doing the ka-junks was scared of this kid.
He looks like fucking, hands up, don't shoot, Michael Brown.
He's a beast of a boy.
He's like 6'2, 250 pounds or something.
No, he's not 6'2, but he's a beast.
So maybe they were going kajunk, ka-junk, ka-junk, and they said, sir, this doesn't, and he's like, well, the fork, nothing.
And then they walked away.
Yeah.
Look at him.
So he slipped to his death.
And Ben Crump is making it racial.
So what is Ben Crump's angle that they purposely, and please stop saying purposefully.
Holy fuck, everyone's doing it these days.
Purposefully means you did it purposely, but you did it carefully and you watched every detail.
You meticulously did it on purpose.
So if you're putting a line of dominoes out, right, to knock down, you purposefully place each domino.
It means a hell of a lot more than I did it on purpose.
You just mean purposely.
In fact, abolish the word purposefully.
It's used correctly maybe once every 32 years.
So you can do without it.
So is Ben Crump saying they purposely murdered this child because he's black?
Everyone on the ride was black that day.
What a fucking retard.
He's just an ambulance chasing loser.
Who is an integral part of the show?
Just like Ben Ratner was an integral part of the Proud Boys.
All right, let's do the fucking final video.
This is pretty heavy shit, dudes.
Oh my god.
Guy's jumping from a plane.
The guy in front of him hits his head on the way out, knocks himself out.
Oh well, you're dead.
I gotta handle my own shit.
Nope.
Bros before deaths.
So this guy, fast and furious, Tom Cruise Mission Impossible, flies over to his unconscious friend and releases his parachute.
Check this shit out.
Next time your bro doesn't have your back, show him this video.
So I think that's...
Where is he now?
Oh, that's him in the top right?
Maybe it's him in the middle?
Which one is he?
Was he the one that was flipping around?
That must be scary as fuck.
Don't these things have an automatic release?
Look, he's out.
Passed out.
So he gets underneath them.
You better get underneath him.
They're plummeting to their deaths.
Releases his friend.
Releases himself.
How fucking nuts is that?
And your friend didn't want to leave or didn't want to fuck a fat chick at the bar so you could fuck the pretty girl.
Unacceptable.
You got to have your brothers back, boys.
We got brothers out there saving each other's lives.
And you won't take a fat, ugly chick home?
Fuck you.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy undogged.
Heavy undone.
Heavy undone.
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