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March 7, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
38:20
GOML LIVE #138 - INTRODUCING SYL (Part 1)

The gang sits down to discuss sex, love, and marriage.

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Time Text
You gotta be honest, 24/7, you got Robin Steele, you're Robin Steele, you do things for it that you never otherwise did.
I've never been a thief, I've never been a liar.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
I really do care for the people a lot.
I actually have a lot of feelings for them, but really good to me.
It's starting to catch on, I know something's wrong because $2,000 in a week is a lot of money.
So I know something's wrong, and last night they told me that if all their money's gone, they can't give me nothing.
Hello America and the rest of the Western world.
I'm sure there's a few holdouts in the Eastern world.
Japan?
Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.
Welcome back, Matty Odell.
The co-host with the most.
What's going on, everybody?
Good to see you.
The star of Maddie's Shitty Kitchen, which is a raging hit.
Thank you.
Glad it went well.
And of course, Ryan Katsu Rivera, a.k.a.
The Putts.
That's right.
As you know, the way this show goes is we are live and free for the first half hour.
Then we go behind a paywall.
The reason we're free is because sponsors pay for the first half hour.
Sponsors like Tactical Walls, veteran-owned Tactical Walls.
Go to TacticalWalls.com for the best products in America.
Use the promo code GAVIN for 20% off all orders.
TacticalWalls.com.
You know, it's funny, reading this copy, it used to be like a paragraph and a half of like, we rock and he's a veteran and you know, don't fucking, fuck you with my heels on, all this fun stuff that he would use inside jokes.
And I kept ridiculing the copywriter until I broke him.
Gavin 15 also works as a promo code.
And now it just says in brackets, say whatever you want.
Yeah.
And I can't even help but make fun of that.
Dude, whatever is one word.
So you wrote, say whatever you want.
That's so I'm even making fun of you quitting your job as a copywriter.
You're fucking that up.
Promo code Gavin15, Gavin, Modwall, look at this shit.
Show off your guns, enjoy yourself.
We are currently at 100%.
Veteran-owned sponsors on Get Off My Lawn.
Not one of our sponsors is not veteran-owned.
You know why?
Because when you support a slightly controversial show like this, you get attacked by the mob.
And when veterans get attacked, they act the way we all used to act in the 80s, which is what?
Oh, you got a problem with them?
And fuck off.
As opposed to now where they go, I'm sorry, we'll take care of it.
It won't happen again.
So most cool people live in areas that are not in the South Bronx where you can have a gun.
And we don't live there.
So on our tactical walls, we have bric-a-brac.
Some mugs.
We've got E.T.
That's a statue my wife gave me with the fingers crossed.
And it says, please be a fart.
And I was just saying earlier, since COVID fried my guts, my farts don't smell like shit anymore.
So I fart with reckless abandon.
I was at the gym earlier, brought the kids to boxing, and I'm surrounded by Mexican gentlemen.
Jalapeno was there.
And I'm just farting.
Now, normally, you would let a fart like that go and people go, what the fuck, dude, what's the matter with you?
But because it smells like a burnt match, people just go, oh, I guess there was, like, fireworks here yesterday.
It's kind of a gift.
Yeah, I'm jealous I'm not full cobalt.
You're not full cobalt?
No.
My wife says my shit still, like, smells like shit, but also cobalt.
Or weird.
Dude, I was mentioning on Anthony's show, people call me a pussy for this.
Tell me if this is a pussy, okay?
It's the drop-down bar, whatever you call that, 105 pounds, 20, then 20, you're sitting on a chair and you're pulling it to your chest, then 20, and then 95 bar, 20 shrugs, and then 20 of these.
All of that three times.
How much weight are the these?
Is it a bar or dumbbells?
95.
Whoa.
Well, 95 is a bar.
No, the bar is a bar.
The bar and the weights is 95.
Gotcha.
The pulldown, and I can't even lift my arms up, the pulldown is, that was 105.
Oh, the lat pulldown, where you're sitting down, you pull the bar down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lat pulldown.
Yeah, it does the V. It's kind of gay to know all the names, Ryan.
I mean, putts.
I don't know all the names.
Yeah, the lats.
I got a good spread nowadays, but...
Yeah, let me see your spread.
What?
What do you mean?
Well, it's hard to describe how to do it, but basically you would go like... It's known as your wings.
Your wings.
See these?
Oh, these?
It's weird to do, but you could easily raise your arms and not engage them, but to let the curtain go out, you have to kind of roll your arms forward, yeah.
Okay, you want to play hardball?
Yeah.
I'll show you my wings.
They're fucking basically bat wings.
No, no, no.
I'm Alex Jones.
I've turned into Alex Jones.
Go like this.
You have to relax your... You have to relax your arms.
You're not, like, tensing your arms.
Damn relaxed.
You're just rolling.
Now, you put your arms down.
And now, out to the side.
Like, yeah.
And now, try to push these things forward.
Like, kind of rock your... Like, point this part of your elbow forward.
That was your shoulder.
Okay.
Kinda.
Okay, so do that until you could feel these, like, this meat.
Until you feel this meat coming forward.
Okay, this is tedious.
This is tedious.
Stuff.
It's really not easy to do unless they're, like, totally big.
You know, I feel like it's a waste to be standing here and being this sexy without a chick, a groupie by my side.
Oh.
Let's get some fucking bitches in here.
Let's get some groupies.
Do you have any girls you could call on?
I do.
Shall we get some chicks up in this bitch?
Hell yeah!
All right, let's do it.
All right.
Yeah, the loud spread is hard.
All right.
I don't want to... You don't want that?
I don't want to knock that over.
It's garbage.
It doesn't really exist.
Okay, I'm good.
And you can lean on these TVs.
This is Silk.
You may recognize her as the doctor from Futurama.
The mad woman of the South Bronx, Mother Rucker.
She's a loco.
Born and raised in the South Bronx.
We're big fans.
Married seven times.
Seven is a lucky number.
A lot of people, a lot of BIPOCs.
Oh yeah, hell yeah.
You had a lot of black indigenous people of color.
You had five black husbands?
Yes.
One Jew boy, and one Spicarama.
Spicarama, that's my favorite show.
And what would you call your... Are you Jewish, Italian, what are you?
I'm a nut job.
Okay.
I'm a Jew girl, and one quarter Russian, and pure Americana.
But you're wearing a Christian cross.
Well, I converted.
Jesus helped me out, so I said, OK, you're my man, Jesus.
Nice.
How did Jesus help you out?
Well, how?
Yeah.
He smiled on me.
You had lung cancer for a while.
He smiled on me and said, I'll show you the right way to be.
I said, OK, you're my man.
I'll follow you.
OK, so you're Christian.
He was king of the Jews.
- Was I a Jew?
Oh, Jesus came to earth as a Jew.
- Okay.
- He was king of the Jews.
- What's your religious denomination, Matty?
- I was born and raised Roman Catholic.
- But you didn't get your ashes.
- No, I did not make it to church yesterday.
So you're going to hell in a handbasket.
He hasn't gone to church in 27 years.
I don't think Ash Wednesday is a priority.
No, it's not a priority.
I heard you burnt down St.
Peter's.
Could have happened.
Was that 15 years ago?
Can we still talk about that?
If I walked in, the walls fell down.
The Vatican, the Pope is hiding when he hears your name.
He locks himself in the bedroom and says, uh oh, here comes the crazy American.
This is the thing about dudes in bars.
You'll have a bar buddy for 10 years and then you'll go, do you have kids?
Or like, what's your job?
Are you gay?
Like how long before we knew Dee, I won't say his name in case he's watching, but like I didn't know he was gay until two years of knowing him.
After he wrapped his tongue down your throat you knew he was gay.
I didn't know he was gay until he came from me fucking him.
That's like wow, what kind of fag is enjoying himself like this?
Meantime his Indian Cochise will murder him tonight.
Look out, South Bronx.
We'll hear them wail and rock.
Here comes Stinkerbell, the virgin, the only virgin in the USA, the only girl who's a friggin' virgin.
And she's not Catholic either.
Syl, you can't see, but Syl is referring to her chihuahua, who is in the studio.
Pick her up, put her on the... Oh, she's in my room.
There she goes.
Get her set up here.
I have actually a nice little Oh, she'll like it.
She loves olives.
Well, it's more of a... for her to go to the bathroom on, isn't it?
You bit me last time.
She's playing hard to get.
Well, she's mad because I put a dress on her.
Oh, yeah.
Can you pick her up?
I can't go that low.
She won't bite you.
She bit me before.
No, she won't now.
She wants to be picked up.
She's good now.
I'm like once burnt, twice shy.
So yeah.
What are your religious beliefs, Matty O'Dell?
Like I said, I was born and raised Roman Catholic.
I don't know if I... Do you believe in God?
Yes.
Do you believe you will go to heaven when you die?
Maybe.
I'm hoping.
He's hoping.
Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
Yeah, I believe Jesus was the Son of God, you know, the Holy Trinity.
What about you?
Well, my father told me when I was a wee little girl, there's only one God.
Man calls Him by many names.
And His name's not Budweiser.
Well, your dad was wrong.
Because Jesus was the King of Kings, but Budweiser is the King of beers.
Bravo Bud!
Go Bud!
To get the Mets in the Knicks!
Go Bud!
Screw the Yankees!
So we were going to go through Biden's speech the other night.
A lot of people said we should have live streamed it.
I guess I should be open to that, but I just see like... That's good in a dementia home, a nursing home.
He's a lame duck.
He's Mr. Magoo.
What were the highlights?
He said you can surround Kiev with tanks, but you'll never win the heart of Iranians.
Yeah, the hearts and minds of the Iranians.
He said a wall can't keep out the vaccine.
I don't know.
Oh, he switched on.
He said let's fund the police now.
Yeah, but that wasn't a typo, Putz.
Plus, he's a racist.
Did you see Nancy Pelosi going like this?
Yeah, she's an asshole.
Her mouth is too big from sucking dick all the time.
Any Republican, she's sucked off, so they hate her guts.
She's got fantastic tits, though, for her age.
Yeah, sure.
Plastic surgery will do it all the time.
Yeah, fake tits.
Do you wear a bra?
I forgot it.
Tinkerbell wanted it.
We had a fight and I didn't have time to put on.
My tits fell.
When you get old, your ass fell.
Balls.
Your tits fall.
The only thing that don't fall is your belly button.
Gravity.
Gravity gets its revenge as you get older.
I'm still active.
Right.
Would you say you still have a sexual libido, Syl?
Oh yeah, I don't know why people think when you're older you have no sex urge.
I've been a passionate sex freak the day I was born.
You're a freak.
Would you call yourself an American hoe?
An American slut.
I'd say more an American call girl slut.
American call girl slut.
That's far more, yeah.
Have you ever done sex work?
Did I get paid for sex?
Yeah.
No, you could get paid for sex from the time of dawn civilization to now until 10,000 years later.
Sex... Look, God gave us three things.
Suck oxygen, have the desire to eat, and fuck your brains out for sexual urge.
Okay?
We all have it.
With some, it's more than others.
Some are buried, you gotta bring it about.
Now, the host of the show and the co-host No he's not.
Matt and I have fucked hundreds of women.
- He's a natural warrior. - No, he's not.
Matt and I have fucked hundreds of women.
Ryan's probably plowed like 20. - I'm not gonna say my number, that's not.
No, I don't know my number.
He goes along quietly seducing them, this Japanese Chinaman.
You know who the best lovers are supposed to be?
Japanese men.
Really?
Yeah.
It's like they have to work for it, you know, like... No, they don't have to work for it.
They send in a kamikaze!
Since we're not gifted... And everything explodes!
That's how they eat pussy, like kamikazes, they just go...
all the girls that japs eat out, they're like, this is a day that will live in infamy.
And then they commit harikari, but with their dick, and they impale you with it.
Their katana.
Yeah, yeah.
They whip themselves to death.
You all right?
I don't think she feels safe up here.
It's alright, baby.
Sit on this.
Sit on the mats.
Did you know there's a baseball strike going on?
Yeah, I just found out yesterday.
I found out yesterday, too.
And people go, you're not a sports fan if you don't know this.
Did everyone know this?
Syl didn't know this.
Oh, I knew it.
Last time I checked, none of those teams were putting money in my bank account.
But the last big baseball strike was the Montreal Expos asking for so much money that they just said, fuck you, and they left.
And that was the end of baseball in Montreal forever.
The end of the stadium, the end of culture, the end of childhoods.
Over.
Yeah.
What are these fuckers?
Don't they make ten million dollars a year?
Yeah, they do.
Well, some make more than that.
Yeah.
And they're all retards, too.
It's not like they need a yacht.
Their tastes are like fancy steak.
They're not exactly bright.
Cocaine, occasionally.
And pussy.
Pussy.
That's not that expensive.
No.
A million dollars a year, you can do all the coke and pussy and vacations you could possibly handle.
But you don't get Hillary Clinton's seal of approval.
I don't think... What's next?
So the opening day's been delayed?
What the fuck?
I think Hillary Clinton is an undercover dyke.
Yeah, it's called a walkout.
I don't understand all of it.
We should do a sports show where we all just try to guess what the fuck is going on.
I agree with you, Sil, that...
Hillary's a dyke.
I think she was fucking Uma Abedin, that hot pachyderm.
She probably was.
What's the matter with your eyes?
Are you sad because you wanted to fuck Hillary and Uma got her?
No, she's not my type.
Now Bill Clinton's got a loose stick and a loose mouth.
He's fucked so many Southern Belles that his head is chiming.
on that note we should uh we do the live chat here where we raise money for max hair and john kinsman who uh got in a 17 second fight with antifa and are spending four years in prison for an I have an update on that, actually.
So, Max and Jon are in separate prisons, but In both prisons, everyone is getting fucked over with the six months they all worked on to have taken off their sentence.
Matty's more of an expert than me, but my understanding is you go to prison, if you work in the cafeteria, you work here and there, they take six months off your sentence.
If you do a year and a half, Yeah.
$0.06 an hour.
In Florida you make $0.03.
like i don't know six cents an hour or some yeah yeah they make the states a little different um i think he what they call is an ipa i can't remember what it in florida you make three cents i can't remember off the top of my head but you know it's more than the allotted good time but they got charged with violent crime so they got to 85 which is like 80 54 days a year
good time but like we used to in the feds we would get six months halfway house which you could get lose and all that shit but it's called ipa in the state yeah Yes that was it.
Max said we all lost our IPA.
So word on the street is not from Max Hayer COs don't punish him from this but I talked to other people at Governor.
Gouverneur.
And they just said, yeah, we're canceling all IPAs for the entire prison.
We don't care if you've been scrubbing the floors, teaching English, teaching Spanish.
Fuck you.
So he's sitting around and someone's eating an apple and they're chewing it and then spitting the skin on the ground.
And he's like, can you stop doing that?
That's disgusting.
And the guy's just like.
Now, there's a red button that the CEO pushes to say inmates are fighting and our friend may or may not have said to the CEO, are you going to push the red button?
Because I'm about to fucking lose it.
And the CEO goes, Nope.
So whack-a-mole!
He picks up the apple eater, slams him on his back, knocks the wind out of him, tunes him up a little bit, and he's handcuffed and denied all his privileges, but who gives a fuck?
He's in there for another year.
Four years, folks.
He's still got another year.
And we had all this big party planned for him.
And as Matty pointed out, there's no party.
You got to get right to your location after you're released.
So it's like a race to beat the clock from the moment you're released to when you check in at night, especially when you're in the Canadian border area.
Yeah, they take that into consideration, but before you get released, you have to tell them if you're going to take public transport, like if they're going to give you a bus ticket to the train station and then take the train to give you more time.
At least give them a fucking party.
I hear you.
When we were in Cuba, me and my dad were shitfaced.
He was drinking vodka out of a Milwaukee-like king can.
And there was a Chinese guy there and totally racist entertainment.
I'm not talking long ago, by the way.
This is like 10 years ago.
And the guy's up there and they go, so where are you from?
And he goes, oh, I'm from Toronto.
And they go, I don't think so.
All the Cubans are laughing like the staff and everyone in the audience is going, oh, because they're from Toronto with him.
And then they do this banana eating contest where they blindfold you and you have to eat bananas, but they blindfold everyone.
Then they take everyone blindfolds off.
So this Asian guy is fanatically eating bananas alone.
And then they're done and they go, oh, you win.
And he's like, oh, he doesn't realize that he's been alone eating bananas with a blindfold when everyone's unblindfolded, which is probably funny in primitive cultures.
But me and my dad were just like, oh, for fuck's sakes, give him a bottle of vodka.
Give him a prize.
And I feel the same way about prisoners.
You did your time.
Yeah.
Have a party when you get out for fuck's sake.
But now he's got supervised release.
Now a lot of people knock the South Bronx.
You get the greatest people.
Even Paul Newman made a movie in the South Bronx.
What was that?
The Go-Getters.
Port Apache.
Fort Apache, isn't that the worst police station?
That's just up the street from us.
Isn't that the worst police station on earth?
Yeah, but the people that live around there are the greatest human beings.
They'll share their chicken with you, their milk, their women.
They're great!
Now, when we walk around the South Bronx, we're petrified.
At least, I'm speaking for myself here.
Me and Putz.
Murderers everywhere.
There's murderers all over the world.
When you were a young girl in the South Bronx, skipping along, playing stickball.
That's so hard to remember.
But was it dangerous back then?
In the, what, 60s?
No more than it is now.
Come on!
You're saying the South Bronx is just as dangerous now as it was in the 60s?
Hell yeah.
As long as you don't act scared of them, they ain't gonna fuck with you.
You act scared of them, they're gonna hurt you.
Have you ever been mugged or assaulted?
Oh yeah.
You could have an aneurysm on a toilet!
You never know.
Oh, have you ever been attacked or assaulted in the South Bronx?
No.
Really?
Wow.
As long as you act like you're not scared in your mind, your P's and Q's, I ain't gonna fuck with you.
I wonder if it's because then they assume you live there, so they don't want to shit where they eat.
They don't know whether you live there or not.
I was a little girl.
I think they could tell that you're from the South Bronx.
With a bow and pigtails.
No, they don't know.
I don't look... Well, people thought I was Irish.
I was just a crazy nutjob.
They didn't know if I was Irish or not.
So what if I kissed a blondie's throat every three steps?
They didn't know.
OK, so we're going to go behind the paywall soon, but I like to show the cheapskates who don't subscribe the culture of the show.
So maybe we should take some calls and let's change things with the super chat.
OK, because last time I felt I felt it was abusive.
Was abusive.
I felt hampered.
I didn't feel free.
Right.
When I had to read and read and read every $5 thing.
So the cheap ones we'll put up on the screen by all means.
But I'm only going to read the $100 ones for Max and John.
Sounds good.
OK.
All right.
So we're going to start the show.
Let's start the show.
Oops.
Uh oh.
What happened here?
Careful, Syl, you're about to get attacked by an eagle and Donald Trump.
Oh, I know what happened.
That was exciting.
I know what happened here.
We've got some sort of technical glitch.
Boop.
OK, what happened?
What the fuck are you doing?
She's right.
Here we go.
Oh, watch out, Sylvia.
And then an eagle takes him away.
Are you a Trump?
Hell no.
No.
I always knew his personality, him as a man.
As a president, the only good thing he did was get a lot of jobs for Americans.
So that part was good.
But Biden's a fuckin' wimp.
He's a reaper?
Yeah, he's a reaper too, but he's also a retard.
I think he's afraid of the reaper.
You can't understand a word he says.
He has dementia and Alzheimer's.
What did you expect?
Yeah.
Agreed.
Caramel Harris, who hates his guts, is the real president.
That cunt.
Agreed.
Isn't it funny how Kamala Harris sold herself as black when there's nothing remotely black about her?
She came to fruition.
Her formative years were in Montreal.
Fucking bitch.
They got a man off a death row who was innocent.
She tried to block it, the bitch.
She put so many people in jail over tiny bits of marijuana.
She had no fucking good.
If she becomes president, I'll shoot everyone in the ass.
No, not babies.
We allow them to live unharmed.
Am I pro-life?
including babies?
- No, not babies.
We allow them to live unharmed.
- Are you pro-life?
- Am I pro-life?
- Yeah.
- I'm pro-me, baby. - Have you ever had an abortion?
Eight.
Besides that?
It's like a plunger sucking your guts out.
So it's not so bad.
No, it sounds kind of bad to me.
You as a man wouldn't know what true agony as a woman is.
Except when you orgasm all over our bellies and tits.
As they call it in French, le petit mort.
The little death.
Yeah, I like that.
Let's just read letters as we wait for calls to come in.
Ryan, do you want to put the number on the screen?
Oh yeah.
Matty's shitty little kitchen was great.
The background music was a nice touch.
It was nice to see Matty doing his thing.
Can't wait for the next one.
Now Matty, your plan, we talked about making a prison little kitchen.
You want to experience jail cuisine.
Which is tricky because there's jail and there's prison, right?
And jail is less creative.
Jail is shitty cuisine.
Prison is hardcore.
Bad.
Prison is a little different because there's more access to There's microwaves, there's kettles.
And the commissaries are a lot bigger.
So, we're talking about food.
Oh, the food is hardcore.
No, no, no.
Making food.
Because these guys make food in their cells.
Oh, yeah.
So, when you make food in your cell in jail, it's basically ramen is your best bet.
And then in prison, you can get a microwave, you can make, like, empanadas.
Frozen pizza sticks.
Have you ever been to jail?
In Miami, yeah.
For what?
Prostitution.
Really?
That shocks me.
Dane County.
I never would have guessed that.
I did it for love.
What do you mean?
You were in love with your pimp?
My husband was in trouble, so I turned some tricks to help him out.
And how much money did you make?
I don't know.
Eight, nine hundred.
Oh, wow.
We got calls.
Oh, you want to turn that mic on again?
Oh, yes.
Yeah, and Maddie too.
Let me just read this letter.
Well done on the new output of content on the network lately.
Outstanding.
My boy still to watch the old G-Dog shows.
But Ryan and Matty made a decent show with Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen.
Matty brought his knowledge from the live shows into cooking and Ryan asked all the right questions and got shots.
I'm proud of your boy.
Okay.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
I gotta say, I'm pretty surprised at what a hit Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen was.
It was fun.
Delicious.
I learned.
Um, I made a similar meal inspired by your show.
Says someone else in Maddie's Little Kitchen.
I too am not a trained chef, but love to cook and eat good food.
I cook all the big meals in my house.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter.
I've become partial to deep fried my turkeys.
Excuse my gas.
It's just amazing, easy and delicious.
Have you ever tried doing that?
Anyway, I love the show, except Gavin.
Stop doing that annoying.
And then he uses the N word.
Mm hmm.
That's the worst word there is, right?
No.
What's the worst word?
Fuck you, motherfucker.
Well, uh, please.
Otherwise the show has been very enjoyable.
And then he's included a picture of his steaks.
And his potatoes.
And his scallions.
Oh, and he's got some asparagus there.
Have you got that one?
It's called Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen, Ryan.
No.
Okay.
It's from a guy named Jason.
Got it.
Gotta be careful not to dox him.
People send in letters anonymously, Syl, because they don't want to be identified with the show.
They don't want to get fired for watching.
They don't want to get fired watching the show.
They're cowardly.
They don't have a set of balls, no spunk or spirit to them.
They're cowardly.
What's going on with your eyes?
Are these lights bothering your eyes?
No, I have a thyroid condition that It burns.
No, life don't bother me at all.
We got sunglasses.
Yeah, I gotta buy some.
I was gonna wear them tonight, but I thought you'd think I was incognito.
Hey, Matty?
In that tactical wall that's above my bicycle, there's a dish of sunglasses.
Could you bring one of them over, please?
He didn't show us the finished product.
I know, that's weird.
Who shows ingredients?
That's like when you're a little kid and you're working on your first poem and you write out rhyming lines.
And then you show, hey mom, look at this.
I'm almost ready to start.
Maybe this is what he considers cooked?
It looks like he's using a heater, like an actual heater.
These are for children, but she's petite.
I have a little face.
Thank you.
Let's see if that works.
Thank you, it helped.
Really?
Oh great.
Thank you.
We'll leave those there.
Have we got a call or should I get another?
We do have calls.
Okay.
Let's talk to a caller and then we're going to leave.
Then we're going to go behind the paywall and you guys don't get any of this.
You don't get Tinkerbell.
You don't get Silk.
I heard a beep.
Can I talk yet?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sorry.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Hello.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry, caller.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no.
No, it's me.
I overstood.
I overspoke.
I wouldn't shut up.
It's me.
No, you could speak as much as you want.
I'll get to my point real quick here so I could leave you all alone.
It's kind of a fan favorite, I think, and I think Phil's insight might make it even better if you listen to just a selection of Ryan's musical output.
Oh, thank you.
Wait, what?
Do you have any suggestions?
So hold on a sec.
Hold on a sec.
This is shocking.
So we have a baby monster calling in who enjoys Ryan's music and wants to hear more.
Oh, I get it.
Ironic.
Oh, oh.
But I do want to hear more.
Oh, I get it.
Ironic.
Like Corey Feldman.
Like Creefield.
Well, it just seems to be a fan favorite, so I just want to have another one.
You hate him as much as I do.
No, it sounds like he enjoys... No, Ryan.
It's like going to see Charlie Sheen.
You want to hear about tiger blood.
Thank you for calling.
Yeah, let's hear your latest jams.
Okay.
Bring it on, Ryan!
Thank you.
Let's see.
I have... This was from today.
Oh!
I was doing... He makes terrible music.
I do not.
It's great.
This is Cher.
Cher!
All guys love Cher.
If there's one thing, you're at the local bar, and you're just like, hey dudes, let's put on some Cher on the jukebox.
And everyone's like, thank God.
Ryan Frampin.
- You're a great group.
There's no target to you.
It's so sad that you're leaving.
- Ryan Franck.
- Thank you.
- First time that we'll leave it.
One and a half a seven o'clock.
- - - - - No, you sit here. - All right.
Is that better?
Yeah, much better.
You feel that?
Yeah.
Alright, let me take your mic.
I knew your back was gonna hurt.
- I know what I'm not supposed to do.
- I knew you were bad. - I was going to wait for you.
- Well, I can't do that.
- Dang it.
- I wasn't going to come down this way.
- No, don't turn it back.
I need a sign.
- I can't take it from my big mouth.
- No, we have to find a better chair for you.
That's the solution.
I'll bring one from home.
Alright, so I'm gonna be sitting in Syl's spot, but... No, no, I have the mic.
That's your mic now.
I have your mic.
Are we good, Ryan, with switching?
Yeah, just aim the mic towards her a little more.
Uh, you can point it down there too, hon.
Yeah, you really gotta eat it.
Pretend it's a cock.
Well... Oh, well not... Love it, baby!
This is like ASMR.
Uh, so we're going to go behind the paywall now and take some calls and read some live chats and have some fun.
But, uh, for all you freeloaders there, you've got to sign up for Censored.tv.
Ten bucks a month.
All you can eat.
Every night.
You get Tinkerbell.
You get Sill.
You get Matty O'Dell.
You get Ryan Katzu-Rivera, a.k.a.
Putz, doing covers of Cher.
I mean, what else is there in the world?
Nothing!
And if you don't want to join us, well then, as our goodbye, we would like to say to you, get fu- Oh, okay.
Get fucked.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and be brave, and never stop fighting.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. and never stop fighting.
I don't know.
Do you believe in life after all?
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