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Feb. 25, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:59:45

GOML LIVE #137 - UNDERESTIMATING RYAN

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Time	Text
	Hello, this is Millie Collins.
	This is Dr. David Dumping live from New York.
	It's Get Off My One with Devin McGinnis.
	I need some of your no potion.
	Give me the chance all night.
	That was clearly Beanie Man.
	Was that Beanie Man?
	Yeah, that was clearly Beanie Man with a slut that he's fucking who agreed to, or he agreed to do a song with her, I guess.
	Because she's retarded and talentless, and he's one of the most famous dance hall dudes in history.
	Who am I?
	The keys to my bema.
	But this dumb bitch, I don't know.
	She got him to do a song.
	What a mess.
	That was sent him by a baby monster.
	Speaking of baby monsters, we have Maddie Odell in the house.
	What's going on, everybody?
	Good to see you.
	Welcome back, Maddie Odell.
	We will be debuting Maddie's new show, Maddie's Shitty Kitchen.
	There we go.
	Which is smaller than this desk by far.
	Oh, yeah.
	And he'll be preparing this meal.
	Right?
	Yep.
	That exact one.
	Now, what is this exactly, Maddie?
	That's a ribeye.
	That's an inch and a quarter ribeye with asparagus, you know, sautéed and grilled.
	It's got a little salt, pepper, and a knife and everything there.
	That was done in a little bit of pan with olive oil, butter, and lemon juice, a little salt and pepper.
	The steak is a ribeye from a local butcher.
	Great choice.
	That's my favorite steak.
	It was a ribeye.
	Are you mad?
	Am I mad?
	This is fucking disgusting.
	This is a shit sandwich.
	No, it's obviously delicious.
	It was fucking terrible.
	It was really good.
	That's fucking terrible.
	I wouldn't give it to my dog.
	Might poison him.
	Viewers are very sensitive about chewing on the mic, but I understand, Ryan, you were disturbed by how delicious it was.
	Yeah.
	When I took a bite, I was so disturbed and it went, he sent me a text that said it was the best meal he's had in months.
	A long while.
	For months.
	Definitely this whole year.
	Oh, yeah.
	I put a little TLC in it because I like to eat good food.
	Me like to eat good food with the mash.
	There's butter there, too, if you want it.
	The fucking potatoes?
	There's butter for the potatoes.
	Oh.
	Yeah, when you were offering me butter on it and stuff, I was like, this is per I couldn't imagine it getting any better.
	So no?
	Oh, yeah.
	And then you put butter on it as better.
	But you can't picture it getting any better.
	I thought my wife was the best cook in the world.
	I'm now.
	This is making me lust you.
	All right.
	Glad you like it.
	Probably not the goal.
	Don't judge Maddie.
	Don't put your thoughts into Maddie's head.
	You don't know what he was going for.
	Well, I want to reveal the goal.
	So if I say it's not the goal, anything.
	Who does the cooking at your house, Ryan?
	Mostly me, but sometimes my wife also cooks.
	That's Malden finishing salt.
	Oh, yeah.
	Salt flakes.
	The Malden.
	Oh, yeah.
	So, Ryan, do you think Maddie's a better cook than you?
	Because you seem freaked out by this.
	Yeah, he's got the touch, dude.
	What can you say?
	No, I was asking him about some tips and stuff like that, and I learned a lot while doing that.
	I am also an owner of a cast iron skillet.
	And so he was teaching me how to season it.
	I come home, and I don't remember mentioning the seasoning of the pan, because his looks like it's brand new.
	It's shiny and immaculate.
	It gets used a lot.
	Yeah, so you season it in the oven.
	I season it quite often.
	Yeah.
	I go to the gym, I come home, and I hadn't mentioned the seasoning thing to my wife, and she's already starting to season the pan.
	I was like, maybe I did mention it, and I didn't.
	I definitely did.
	You did.
	You probably did.
	I see asparagus.
	Asparagoose.
	You know, your wife has a new baby.
	She feels vulnerable.
	Anytime you say anything good, she's scared you're going to leave her.
	What?
	So if you say, like, hey, I saw NASCAR.
	It looked cool.
	You'd come home and she'd be wearing like a full body suit.
	Fire retardant racing suit with a helmet.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Going, I love NASCAR too.
	Don't go.
	It's such a genetic thing.
	Interesting.
	Dude, this is amazing.
	Where did you get these steaks from?
	Local butcher.
	And what's it called?
	With that?
	That's a ribeye.
	My favorite steak.
	Arguably the best steak.
	A lot of people like porterhouses because they get like three cuts of meat, but...
	It's got the perfect amount of fat, too.
	Yeah.
	It comes with more fat on it.
	Like, if you see the pictures I sent you when I cooked the when they were raw, there's a lot more, but then it looked really marblized.
	Yeah, you trimmed it.
	Well, you trimmed the heavy, like the fat cap and everything like that.
	You're not going to sit there and chew on the fat.
	But the fat's the Flavor.
	Yeah.
	And there was a very tiny bit of a bone in one side of it, which is also flavor.
	You want all that.
	So, starting tomorrow, new hit show, Maddie's Shitty Kitchen.
	The first show is this meal you're seeing right now: steak, potatoes, and asparagus.
	The next show, I believe, the plan is prison food.
	Yeah.
	Well, you couldn't get more American than steak and potatoes.
	Yeah, it's fucking amazing.
	It's excellently well done.
	If you look at the potatoes, they're fucking perfect.
	The steak, perfectly well done.
	It's Gordon Ramsey.
	Yeah.
	I don't know about that, dude.
	It was one of the greatest.
	Gordon Ramsey has this thing where he's always like this.
	That's not cooked.
	It's raw.
	You're a fucking idiot.
	So we're outside a restaurant in upstate New York where no one has made over a dime in four weeks.
	So we're doing good guy, Gordon.
	This is an excellent restaurant.
	Lots of promise.
	It's owned by a mother and a son.
	They've done great numbers, but we're going to check out their menu to see if it holds up to Chef Ramsey's.
	Fuck you.
	No, have you watched, you clearly haven't watched the show.
	I've watched the fights.
	That's why I can only do Angry Ramsey.
	Yeah, you've only seen the sizzle reels.
	He goes to those restaurants in upstate New York, but he's a cocksucker to them if they suck.
	Yeah.
	It's not like he hugs everyone.
	He only hugs them when they do a good job.
	That hurts, though.
	He starts out nice, and then he starts losing respect for them in real time.
	Well, it's the same as all his shows.
	He's a Scotsman, ultimately.
	And he gives you the time of day.
	He says, I'm open-minded, but when you fuck up, he says it, which is becoming a rare trait.
	So you know how this goes.
	The first half hour of the show is in front of Paywall.
	It's all free.
	It's meant to represent the brand, but it doesn't really because it's not how we do things here.
	It's more of just sort of winging it.
	We'll talk about the opening song in a second.
	And then we take calls.
	We take super chats.
	We donate the super chats to Max and John, our friends in prison.
	And we read letters.
	Oh, shit, I forgot my computer in the other room.
	And stuff like that.
	We also, because this part is free, we thank our sponsors, tacticalwalls.com.
	Veteran-owned, go to tacticalwalls.com for the best product in Americas.
	The ad copy guy is so hurt by me constantly making fun of his copywriting that now it's just four sentences, which include say whatever you want.
	And whatever is spelled wrong, by the way.
	Ryan, you're showing Premiere.
	It's what space everyone.
	Whatever is one word.
	Add copy guy.
	And you don't have to type out www.
	unless, of course, it's 1999 and you're a baby boomer.
	Young people your age, you can just say tacticalwalls.com, promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.
	They are doing, he's included Christmas giveaways for some reason.
	So even after you've been humiliated for your terrible copywriting, you have a typo and you mention Christmas, you fucking retard.
	Yep, so incredible stuff there.
	Ways to mount your guns.
	If you live in a non-gun state like we do, you can put up your baseball equipment.
	You can trick out your Jeep.
	Go and check out TacticalWalls.com because to explain every single option they have goes on and on forever.
	It is amazing the variety of shit they have.
	And Tactical Tim is a close friend of the brand.
	It's strange that almost all of our sponsors are veterans.
	Isn't that weird?
	Yeah.
	Well, they're patriots.
	I guess they're the only ones that don't care when Antifa calls you 900 times and terrorizes everyone you talk to.
	So we got to get into Ukraine today, but let's go back a step to the opening song.
	So that was a, I'm going to assume a slut?
	Groupie.
	A groupie, some probably like rich British woman.
	She made, I'm going to say a million and a half from her divorce.
	And she's in Jamaica getting fucked.
	She's fucking beanie man.
	And she goes, I want to be a performer too.
	Look at her.
	She's up in age, too.
	Yeah.
	She's no spring chicken.
	Yeah, he can't be surge woman, never find me.
	She can't be wrong, right?
	She's a nobody who wants a music career.
	She's Rebecca Blacked.
	There's no way.
	Oh, I know.
	Maybe she didn't even fuck Beanie Man.
	Maybe her husband paid for this, and then she did a song with Beanie Man.
	She's actually never fucked him.
	To make a wish.
	Possible.
	Maybe she's terminal.
	She looks like my mom.
	I've never been less horny in my life.
	Yeah, this is about as sexy as an actual hospital song.
	It reminded me of Beanie Man in 1998 when he did a song with, I think it was.
	Wait, go to 1-2?
	Oh, yeah.
	So this is Beanie Man at his best.
	For some reason, punk rockers were allowed to listen to reggae and dance-all when I was a teenager, so I'm very well-versed in it against my will.
	This is Beanie Man's hit.
	This is a guy we just saw without a hideous spinster forcing him to perform.
	That was 98.
	I think this song is why I have a BMW.
	I love Jamaican Nouveau Riche where they have cinder blocks.
	And I said, Sim Simma, who's got the keys bump beamer?
	You were like, I think Peggy was a beatie man guy.
	Same with my Land Rover.
	It's Jamaicans.
	I love that they have a Bemmer and a Land Rover next to a house made of cinder blocks and corrugated tin.
	And I was going to say, you got the Beamer and the Land Rover and a Land Lord.
	Yeah.
	But the song, the opening song reminded me of Tippa Iri.
	Few people remember him.
	He was like a British dude, but he sounded like a Jamaican guy that no one had ever heard of.
	And when you found his records, you thought you dug them up from some old weird Jamaican.
	Like even the cover there does not look like you found some weird rural Jamaican guy.
	He's from fucking Brixton.
	Maybe this is what that white woman was going for.
	Possibly.
	She didn't hit it, though.
	Yeah, no.
	I think she missed the mark.
	She just definitely wants a shot of penis cylinder.
	I like in this song, she talks about how she's big and he goes, me, tip Irian, me, kind of small or something.
	And she goes, me, Mrs. Irian, me, big and me, Brad.
	The big and proud thing lived on way back when.
	Well, Ryan, you talk like my youth was in the 1920s.
	I picture black and white when you tell your story.
	This is like 1989.
	Year of my birth.
	Really?
	Yep.
	Check out this beautiful jam, Raga Muffin Girl.
	A beautiful ode to his lovely wife.
	She's a ragamuffin with the chicken stuffing.
	Whoa.
	You're going to fall in love with this.
	Raga Muffin.
	Raga Muffin.
	Ragamu Wuffin.
	I think you just said step up, Mr. Honeybites, and tell him Waguan.
	Come on, bye.
	McGuan Wan.
	You're known as Mr. Honeybites?
	Trying to think, who's better, this guy or the guy with the one-string guitar?
	No, dude.
	What are you talking about?
	How dare you?
	The guy with the one-string guitar is an incompetent retard.
	Tipa Iri is a god.
	Oh, yeah?
	Tipa Iri.
	He did a song with the Black Eyed Peas recently, 1-6.
	Really?
	Uh-huh.
	Which is weird because they didn't take advantage of his dance hall skills.
	They just treated him like a reggae star.
	I was watching this video before the show, and it looks like, you know those cooking shows like Gordon Ramsey, where they say, here's a vending machine, make a delicious gourmet snack with Cheetos and Oreos,
	like whatever you get in the vending machine.
	They have to make a high-end meal.
	Doesn't this look like they were locked in Target overnight and they had to make a hit song with the equipment you can find in Target and the clothes?
	That's him.
	That's Tip Irie.
	Yeah, he's older than us.
	He's like 60.
	Wow.
	How Target is this?
	I think they did a Target commercial, didn't it?
	Well, if I was a CEO of Target, I'd go, these guys are making Target commercials.
	Let's get a Target logo on them.
	They're dancers.
	This is dancer rock.
	Go Fergie.
	What happened?
	They really did.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, my God.
	They did a Target commercial.
	And it's exactly the same, but actually better.
	Is this a song they already had, or they did this for Target?
	No, this is their song.
	Oh, yeah.
	They released it.
	Oh, they're releasing their app.
	They're doing an app for their CD, and it's at Target for $9.98.
	Only at Target.
	Here's another one.
	Another Black IP Target promotion?
	Another one.
	Wow, they love Target, dude.
	What's the difference between the Black Eyed Peas and Target?
	You could enter one and buy stuff in the other.
	It's the same thing.
	They should just merge.
	I've always said that about the Canadian-American border.
	Let's just erase it and merge.
	Let's cut the shit.
	We're the same.
	Black-eyed peas are Target.
	Stop.
	They'll do all the music for all your commercials.
	They are brand ambassadors.
	So then I'm reminded of dance bands, like bands made by dancers, which of course brings you to the Pussycat dolls, who had zero musical talent, but they were sexy and dancers.
	And they hired Snoop, just like that opening woman hired Beanie Man.
	And the other guys hired Tippa Ire.
	They're just a little bit hotter than the nurse.
	If you held a gun to my head, I don't think I could get this song stuck in that same head.
	I don't know this song.
	But it has like 63 million views.
	Holy shit.
	That main chick is the only one you remember.
	Like, if you saw any of the other ones in an airport or something, you wouldn't.
	You wouldn't be like, that's the chick from that thing.
	Just unknown.
	It's like a K-pop band.
	It's like the bassist of the Who, John Entwistle.
	You could sit next to him at a bar and have no idea you're sitting with John Entwistle.
	She's got kind of an ethnic vibe, like a Pilipina.
	She's something.
	Anyway, that song sucks.
	But then I'm reminded of her brother, Jonathan Anton, who had an incredible show in 2004 called Blowout.
	And he's a hairstylist who's very aggressive.
	This is her brother.
	Get him in.
	Stop.
	Stop.
	Remember how I told you the way to fuck your wife is to watch her stupid shows and comment on them?
	It's the best way to seduce a girlfriend or a wife is to pretend you care about real housewives or whatever.
	But inevitably, you get Stockholm syndrome and you start caring about the show.
	I started getting into this show Blowout in 2004 that was on Bravo.
	And it's about this weird, not gay hairstylist who's probably has the Aiku of like, I would say, a bear or a frog.
	And he's got a very bad temper.
	And he was always coming up with ideas.
	Because the guy's making tons of money because you're a hairstylist in LA, which is, it's like being in sanitation in New York.
	Like, you can't not make money.
	But in one episode, his water dies, his water's out at his house.
	So he uses bottled water to wash his hair.
	And he goes, oh my God, my hair is insane today.
	So he becomes convinced that it's because of the bottled water.
	So he comes up with these filters to put on your shower head that can make your water like bottled water, which is just made up filters.
	It's just another bunch of filters.
	It means nothing.
	Carbon is in there and all this crap.
	It means nothing.
	But women are so eager to be attractive that they spend thousands of dollars on this.
	So it's a success.
	So that guy, I remember this episode.
	That guy was going to design the packaging, but he was taking too long and he was pissing off Pussycat Doll's brother.
	And he'd had enough of this shit.
	So this is him arguing with Pee Wee Herman about it.
	Get and get the f ⁇ out of my song.
	I'm going to leave the bottles there.
	You look at it.
	I'll go.
	Fake.
	Get him out of the motherfucker.
	Just doesn't matter.
	You discuss it with him.
	Look at that LA look.
	Whoa.
	You know, when you called me, you said what we were doing.
	Shut the fuck up and leave.
	Dude, I was going to work with you and I was going to be enslaved.
	Am I...
	In 2004, were TVs square?
	Yeah.
	Even all of those black-eyed Ped songs.
	Wow.
	I'm old.
	Yeah, aspect ratio.
	TVs were square in 2004.
	Yep.
	That's very recent.
	Should we.
	Okay, we're done discussing those things.
	Start the show?
	Let's start the show.
	Why was that so green that one show?
	It was the keying.
	I had to adjust the keying.
	Why'd you have to adjust it that one particular episode?
	I used it for different things, and usually I don't have the green screen on it.
	And also, I've been creating new sessions, so I have to redo the green screen parameters every time I do that.
	Ryan and I are going to AFPAC tomorrow to study the white nationalists and learn about their disgusting behavior and expose them for who they are, which is number one threat to American safety today, domestic terrorism,
	mostly white supremacists, which is Trump supporters, blue-collar Americans, anti-mandators, anti-vaxxers, QAnon, Canadian truckers.
	Am I missing anything here?
	Parents that go to school board meetings.
	Parents that care about CRT.
	Parents that, I know this sounds like anti-max, but parents that don't want their kids to wear masks.
	Those eight groups are the threat to America.
	They are going to destroy our country.
	And Biden is doing his best to stop them, but, and Trudeau is chipping in.
	Klaus Schwab is doing a great job.
	But eventually, you know, you got to take up arms yourself.
	So we're going to AFPAC to kill everyone there.
	Right.
	First, I'm going to ask them, I mean, there's a lot of controversy over how does, like, I know the followers of Nick Fuentes, they Zeke Heil with like the 45-degree angle one.
	But since he's the leader, does he just do that like Hitler Heil?
	Heil?
	Like that little lazy?
	Like Dr. Evil?
	Yeah, Heil.
	I want to get to the bottom of that.
	We got to stop them.
	And we got to find these black white nationalists because they must hate themselves.
	Bryson Gray, John Miller.
	And those are just the people that are special guests.
	There's also the black attendees.
	Remember last year we noticed a bunch of black attendees?
	Got to find them too.
	I got to say, every time I fart, I get mad.
	Why is that?
	Because it smells like cobalt.
	And I'm like, I fly to fucking Nashville to do that interview, right?
	I'm taking off my shoes.
	I'm taking off all my shit.
	Some Muslim is giving me shit about my belt.
	I'm taking off my belt, going back outside.
	So that's Muslims fucking up my day to day.
	Then I fart, and there's no shit smell.
	It's cobalt because either my nose is broken or my ass is broken.
	Something's wrong with my body because of COVID.
	So that's China.
	That's the communists.
	So China is affecting my day to day.
	Muslims affected my day to day.
	Radical leftists affect my day to day.
	They put signs on my neighbor's lawn.
	They terrorize my children and stuff.
	So all these groups are fucking up me personally.
	And it's the same for most Americans.
	You talk to the average Joe and you're like, how was your day today?
	Well, COVID fucked me over.
	I got doxxed at work.
	The mandate's fucking me over.
	So we have these enemies that affect us on a day-to-day basis.
	On a Thursday, whatever we are today, 2, 24, 22.
	Yep.
	These people are fucking up our day today.
	Yet, what does the news consume with?
	Nick Fuentes.
	Yeah, he's fucking up my life.
	Some skinny dude with long fingers who has controversial opinions about nationalism is wrecking the world.
	Let's make it unable for him to fly.
	Muslims can fly, even though 100% of air terrorism is Muslim.
	But we don't want to stereotype a group, but Nick Fuentes can't fly.
	He's still on a no-fly list?
	Yeah, dude.
	So we have to save Bryson Gray, save John Miller, save, like in his lyrics.
	He's got SOS in here.
	Spotify to Ban My Songs.
	So S. I never thought.
	I thought of that.
	Bryson Gray is.
	He's been held captive.
	Yep.
	Because dumbass fucking leftist journalists interview black people who go to white nationalist conferences.
	If they really cared about getting to the truth, they would investigate that.
	But you know why they don't?
	Because they know what the truth is.
	And the truth is that their crusade is completely full of shit.
	Anyway, before we start taking calls, we should discuss Ukraine and get rid of the freeloaders.
	No, no, no.
	I want to get some Ukraine into the free show.
	But I thought, who better to ask about Ukraine than our number one source of information for all things foreign policy, ladies and gentlemen, Ryan Ketsu Review.
	Rygai, what should we do?
	Sanctions.
	What do you think?
	Well, interesting.
	I mean, the sanctions, they've affected the inflation.
	They've turned the Russian dollar into kaputk.
	Wait, we've already done the sanctions?
	We've already imposed sanctions on Russia?
	Well, I think the imminence of the sanctions already has affected the dollar.
	Oh, simply through the sanctions.
	Yes.
	So now, if we take them off of this, I think it's called SWISH, SWIFT, the Swift pay, then that could have bad consequences.
	I think that might already have been, Putin might have already expected that would happen.
	But yeah, that could be seen as a, because he made it pretty vague, anybody who tries to interfere with his Ukraine operation, that will be like an act of war, essentially, and we'll have to pay for it in ways that we've never seen before.
	Okay, so you're...
	Ryan's solution, not sending our boys over there, but banking sanctions.
	Well, sending our boys over there.
	I don't know if that's personally.
	I don't think it's a good idea.
	Okay.
	But it's the sanctions.
	The sanctions is the way to go.
	Yeah, I mean, it'll stop this.
	If we kick the Russians out of the World Bank, get the fuck out.
	You're not part of the global economy anymore.
	That could have repercussions.
	Now he has nothing to lose.
	Now, if he acquires some of the resources from Ukraine, he's not going to be able to liquefy the world.
	What about the part where Germany, some childless communist cunt named Angela Merkel, killed all of their ability to make their own energy?
	She's against nuclear energy, of course, unlike France.
	She doesn't buy from us.
	So she was left with wind and solar, which means you don't have any power.
	So she got it all from Russia.
	So when we talk about global sanctions, Merkel goes, no.
	Yeah, we're hurting.
	There's a lot of people who are going to be able to do it.
	Because if you fuck with Russia, you fuck with Germany because we're totally 50% of Germany's energy comes from Russia.
	So any kind of major sanctions that hurt Russia hurt her.
	It hurts us too.
	We get 100,000 barrels around a day from Russia.
	So they would stop exporting it because they would stop being able to, if they're off the Swift pay and stuff, then they would not be able to get their money the profits from those transactions.
	So they would stop, and then we'd be hurting for the oil, maybe open up the Keystone pipeline.
	But SACI said that it wasn't open.
	So there's nothing flowing through it.
	So that really wouldn't help.
	But we could start fracking again and start things.
	But for a long time, it looks like we're going to be hurting in the old oil price aruse.
	Now, they have imposed the sanctions.
	They've canceled five banks, I think, or they stopped five banks from letting the oligarchs in Russia, the people around Putin, like some of the rich elites, from accessing anything from their accounts.
	So it's hurting people in his country.
	And he's a very idealistic guy, right?
	Ideological guy.
	So his people, if they're upset, and they are, they've arrested, I think, 1,700 protests.
	So if he's seeing that much resistance against this land grab, then that might be the thing to make him change course.
	But he feels a right to Ukraine.
	I mean, he feels that NATO, Ukraine being a part of NATO, that's an existential threat.
	Similar to how the Bay of Pigs, you know, Cuba having missiles was an existential threat to us.
	So he kind of has a point.
	I'm not sure why I lie on this whole thing.
	I'm learning a lot of this today, but I'm very interested in what's going on over there.
	Well, we started the spit to make fun of how stupid you are.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But I think what happened was we attacked the Puerto Rican half, and the Japanese half retaliated.
	I'll take over.
	Like Pearl Harbor.
	Right.
	And I think you're right.
	I think the solution is that we open up our fuel lines.
	We open up our ability to generate fuel.
	And then not everyone is so beholden to Putin.
	Frack.
	Fucking open up Keystone.
	Make our own fuel.
	Taiwan is the real thing that's going on.
	The XL.
	The one you shut down first day in office.
	What?
	The XL pipeline.
	The Excel pipeline.
	Yeah.
	It's retarded.
	Ultimately, I don't like America looking weak, but I don't care about Taiwan or Ukraine.
	You can have them.
	Sorry, you live next to MS-13.
	Your house is going to get fucked with.
	It's not my job to protect you.
	I apologize.
	Bye-bye.
	I don't give a shit.
	You can show all the pictures of dying old ladies on Daily Mail, UK, Yuan.
	You can show me pictures of children crying out in pain.
	I don't give a fuck.
	Sorry, die, bitches.
	I happen to.
	I think, even though they're just white people, I think the fact that just civilians are being hurt is probably a pretty big deal, but we can't be the world police for, you know.
	I don't care about anything outside the Western world.
	And even then, I start with America and do concentric circles outwards.
	The whole argument was that Ukraine was kind of leaning towards Western values, and that's what got Putin to be like, what the F?
	Because he has like puppet regimes in there and stuff.
	He probably wants to create another puppet regime.
	But, you know, Zelensky is not innocent in this whole thing.
	He's been, all the shady shit and the corruption happens over there with Burisma, and then there was some other bullshit over there.
	So there is corruption, and I think they're like really backed by Israel.
	Okay, boring, let's take some calls.
	All right.
	Do we say bye to everybody?
	Bye.
	No, let's take maybe a couple calls and then we'll say bye to everybody.
	Let's open up the super chat.
	You do the thanks for calling intro, and I'll go get my McCutter.
	That's what my kids called it when they were young.
	On the air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You got one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It's great hearing from you.
	Bye-bye.
	All right, next call.
	Bye-bye.
	So true.
	I mean, we do say bye, don't we?
	I guess I gotta turn on this road mic.
	We say goodbye in plenty of ways.
	We say.
	Goodbye.
	Bye-bye.
	Is Trump going to run in 2024?
	I hope so.
	Bye-bye.
	Bye, everybody.
	Bye.
	Thank you.
	Just for the comedy, I missed the laugh.
	You know what I miss?
	I just posted this on my story today.
	Look at this.
	Look at this.
	Biden.
	That's me ripped.
	Look at this.
	How beautiful.
	He's got a long time.
	Long time.
	He's got Mariana Romero.
	Amazing, right?
	Amazing.
	Maybe.
	It's amazing.
	Look how nice and simple that was, though.
	Just the good old days.
	Remember Fauci's throat?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Trump had a beautiful thing.
	Trump fucking barreled it in.
	Dude.
	I saw some meme where they, I think Donald Trump Jr. put it out where he goes, I miss the way he said China.
	China.
	China.
	Okay, so you need to turn your mic on.
	You got your mic on there, Gav?
	My mic's on.
	All right, we have a call about marriage.
	A good topic here.
	Hey, Gavin, Uhuru.
	Uhuru.
	Hey, so I've been dating this girl for a while.
	Things are getting kind of serious.
	I bought a ring, getting ready to propose to her.
	Just want to know what you think the best way or the most classy way is to propose to a woman.
	How long have you been dating?
	Over a year.
	All right.
	How old are you?
	I'm 25.
	She's 29.
	Dump her ass.
	She's old as shit.
	Just starting anew.
	Well, why do you say it like that?
	She's disgusting.
	I would ghost her, go away on vacation, don't answer her calls.
	No, my advice with proposing is try to bring in a thing that you guys have in common.
	Like my wife was obsessed with Paris.
	So we went to the Eiffel Tower.
	I hired a little street urchin to hand her a crumpled-up plastic bag, a paper bag.
	She opens it up.
	The ring is in there.
	Will you marry me?
	Oh, my God.
	Fucking wet as a pack of slits.
	And homeboy got it that night.
	There you go.
	But like, I don't know, like, say you guys have a place you like to visit.
	You hide the ring in one of the rocks or something, and then you pull it out.
	And will you marry me?
	I told one dude, I said, you're going to Ireland.
	Her grandparents are there.
	Go to her grandparents' grave, cemetery.
	And then when you're there, say, isn't it weird how your grandparents met and then they made your mom and then your mom met a guy and then she made you.
	And here we are, you know, perpetuating this thing.
	And we're alive because of these people, chance meanings, making these commitments.
	And then he pulled out the ring and he got down on one knee and he said, will you marry me now?
	And she said, no.
	She said, I'm too young.
	And then they continued their trip, but they slept in different beds.
	Very awkward.
	And she cried herself to sleep every night.
	She did or he did?
	He did.
	I go, why didn't you just leave?
	And he's like, we spent a bunch of money on the trip.
	I don't know.
	So I'm not an expert, but you can feel it out.
	You've got to ask her dad for permission and make sure he can keep his mouth shut.
	But I would choose something that's special to you because you're going to be talking about this for the rest of your lives.
	So try to make it something cool.
	You know, Albert Hammond Jr. proposed to a girl when he was shit-faced and it fell out of his hand and into a dog bowl and he took him about five minutes to find it.
	DJ Tiga, friend of mine, finally got the courage when he was drunk in the middle of the night.
	He has threadbare underwear on and he pulled it out of a FedEx package and gave it to her.
	So you can blow this, but I don't know.
	Be creative.
	Do something that involves your relationship.
	And then fuck her.
	Cool, man.
	Bye.
	All right, like motherfuckers.
	Guys, get laid.
	The best thing about proposing, you get pussy that night.
	Yeah.
	You would hope so.
	I never trust these no videos.
	Did she say no or yes?
	Couldn't tell.
	These are supposed to be good ones.
	Well, these will make your heart burst.
	That one was kind of like, okay.
	These are just regular proposals.
	Fall.
	Fall.
	Yeah, I was going to say, imagine she falls over the fucking strength.
	Don't marry her.
	She's fat.
	What are you doing?
	Her legs show promise.
	She doesn't deserve to be loved.
	That's right.
	She's blindfolded.
	Oh, she's going to push it out of her ass?
	I think so, yeah.
	It'll shoot out of her ass onto a finger.
	Who's going to pull her ring out of her ass?
	I don't know if other people should be there.
	Yeah, no, no, no.
	It's a very personal, private thing.
	Yeah.
	Even filming it is suspect.
	And she may feel pressured.
	Yeah, trivializes, doesn't it?
	We have another one about...
	Let's do one more call and then we'll read one letter and then we'll fucking tell these fuckers.
	Phone tag?
	Hey, Mark, you on the line, dog?
	With your noisy-ass submarine phone?
	Go ahead, Mark.
	Yo, dog.
	What's up, dude?
	Yo, so earlier today, I was happier than a pig and shit when I saw your episode of Tinfoil Hat with Sam Tripoli.
	Yeah, he's a great guy.
	Yeah, it was, yeah, I really liked it.
	Yeah, I got really excited when you started talking really conspiracy theory-ish towards the end there.
	Getting really excited.
	You sound horny.
	You are horny.
	Are you beating off right now, sir?
	No, but anyway, yeah, I wanted to real quick talk about Ukraine because I saw that right before, like about an hour ago, they started to announce the gas prices are going to go up.
	You know, it's like, it's so convenient.
	What the fuck does that have to do with Ukraine being invaded and stuff?
	It's just, it's ridiculous.
	Yeah, because the gas prices have been great for the past year.
	They've been rock bottom.
	It's not like I turn white as a ghost while I watch those numbers go.
	They just keep going even higher.
	It's just like, you know, it's so convenient that they just, oh, hey, let's Ukraine's being invaded.
	Yeah, let's.
	It has to do with the oil supply.
	Let's crank that up a little bit.
	It's all bullshit.
	Yeah, and I don't understand why all these people are like, yeah, I get it.
	They don't want to have war, but all these people on Facebook are putting these Ukrainian flags over their profiles and stuff.
	It's like, dude, you don't give a fuck.
	I don't give a fuck.
	Kill them all.
	Kill them all.
	Let God sort them out.
	Here it's censored.
	We support Russia, like Josh LaCash.
	I don't care about Russia either.
	How about it's like Henry Kissinger said about the Iran-Iraq war.
	Can't they both lose?
	Bye.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	All right, let's take a letter.
	This is from Bill, and he says, Gavin, why didn't you laugh?
	When you were showing that heinous old Englishwoman's garbage reggae reggae rap song.
	It's not a reggae rap song.
	Ryan dropped a zinger, and neither Gavin nor Maddie laughed.
	Good grammar.
	He said, she's Rebecca Blacked.
	Yes.
	Come on, dudes.
	That made me fart.
	It was so funny.
	Thank you.
	I confess I missed that joke.
	I thought he said Rebecca Black.
	I thought he just said Rebecca Black or else.
	Yeah, I didn't hear that.
	I thought that thought in my head myself.
	I didn't hear the ED.
	You promised you had an ED there, Ryan?
	I did.
	I had ED.
	I couldn't get the joke up.
	Whoa, that was also good in the response.
	Okay.
	Not underestimate this.
	This is the underestimating Ryan episode.
	It's the Redemption Arc Ep that we've all been waiting for.
	Okay, last one before we go behind the paywall.
	Dear Mr. McInnes, the thought has been lurking in my mind for weeks.
	You're the only person who's ever described prison to me.
	I've never been and hopefully never will, but you're the only person I've found who ever talks about prison life.
	Well, I know 0.001 about it, but Maddie Odell here knows quite a bit about it.
	Spent some time there?
	Well, you did four hours.
	I did do four hours.
	That was jail, though.
	That was jail.
	I mentioned this the other night.
	Max lost all his early time because he got in a fight, but he can't tell us about it because he can't discuss it on JPEG or on the phone or anything.
	So who knows what the fuck happened?
	But he claims angels were following him.
	What do you think?
	Speaking of prison, what do you think about this, like, work at the cafeteria for a year and a half to get six months off early?
	Well, everyone has to work in jail, in prison.
	Everyone has to have a job.
	You have to have a job?
	Yeah.
	I mean, there are no-show jobs in prison, too.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Well, in the federal system, you would be like, get a job, like what they call PM Compound.
	And they would just go down and check in with their boss and then just go about whatever they were going to do.
	But they got paid 98 cents a month.
	But, you know.
	98 cents a month?
	Yeah, the guys that were doing that.
	I want a raise.
	I want a dollar a month.
	You can't even make a collect call with that.
	But, you know, AM compound like that, you would have some guys walk around the recycle and they clean up.
	They got the little broom and the dust pan on a stick.
	We used to call it a Cadillac in prison.
	Maybe jail is different because there's a mobster at my gym who went to jail for a no-show job in real life.
	And then the CO was saying, you should get a job here.
	Make the time go faster.
	And then he said, hey, I didn't fucking work out there.
	Why would I work in here?
	Yeah, I mean, jail sucks because, I mean, I guess it would give you a little bit more movement.
	Like, usually in jail, you just stay in your block because you're an unsentenced inmate.
	Well, I would say the reason that I humanize prisoners is because we all assume That it's the cops and the robbers, you know, juvenile view of the world where bad guys are in prison and good guys are not in prison.
	But that's not the case, especially in an America where everything is illegal.
	You've probably done three felonies this week and not even known it.
	So if the state is out to get you, you could end up in there.
	Mercedes-Carrera did not molest her daughter.
	She is in jail right now because she was pro-mega.
	She's sexy and popular and charming, and that was bad for the Dems.
	So coincidentally, they found a horrible crime to ruin her life.
	Max and John got into a 17-second fight, and they threw her away.
	They threw the book at them, four years in prison, because it was good for the Dems.
	Maddie Odell, they were told to crack down on gangs.
	They couldn't get into MS-13.
	So they went after white gangs like the Hells Angels.
	They spent how much on you?
	$2 million.
	$2 million?
	You need a scalp at that point.
	I need a scalp.
	Okay, well, Maddie had a gun at one point in a state that isn't gun-friendly.
	And he gave it, where's the gun?
	I don't have it.
	Okay, just throw him in fucking jail.
	We got to get moving here.
	Good stuff.
	Good stuff.
	Okay, super chat before we leave.
	Someone sends in, it's pretty simple.
	It's America First Bitch.
	Now, this is why I'm a grammar Nazi.
	Because you look like a fucking imbecile, Bruce, when you say it's America First Bitch.
	You're hurting the movement.
	We're not asking you to use the semicolons and fucking Oxford commas every time you walk out your front door, but it's America First Bitch.
	Sounds like I'm an America First Bitch.
	Like I'm a loser slut who follows around America First like a whore.
	America First, by the way, as we learned in the Louis Thoreau documentary, has made this mistake themselves on their stickers.
	The proper phraseology is America First, comma, bitch.
	Okay?
	It's America First, comma, bitch, or else you're an America first bitch.
	The commas exist for a reason.
	English is the easiest language there is to use, conduct, have the language at your disposal.
	Okay?
	Put a fucking comma after America First, you fucking idiot.
	And on that note, let's go behind the paywall and we will continue to enjoy our contributors and criticize them when they're wrong.
	Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for enjoying this free episode of Get Off My Lawn.
	Tomorrow we'll be at AFPAC, but investigating the evils of racism.
	But on the show, we'll have Maddie's debut of Maddie's Shitty Kitchen.
	We will have a TGMS episode number two.
	And we'll have the Sam Tripoli episode that they were just talking about, as well as, of course, the lovely Wayne Dupree and a myriad of other free, I mean, sorry, post-paywall content.
	Not a very good ending.
	But until next time, Cheapskates, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Was that a tribute to his dick as hard as a metal syringe?
	That's not very sexual imagery.
	No.
	When I think of a syringe going into a vagina, I'm worried about everyone's well-being.
	The person, you know, administering.
	I got fucked so hard by that syringe needle.
	Oh, yeah.
	Give me that needle in my pussy.
	Literally, needle dick is a pejorative.
	It's an insult.
	I got to say, Maddie, these potatoes are cooked so perfectly.
	Dude, I said something.
	Yes.
	Every texture was on point.
	Also learned about the asparagus.
	Don't fucking put it in wet.
	Let that shit char up first.
	Let the skin blister a little bit.
	Put a blister.
	Don't what?
	Put it away.
	Put it in the pan, put it in an extremely hot pan and roll it around until the skin starts to blister, then add a little bit of oil.
	I was boiling it first like a fucking jerk.
	And then also I would put the oil in first.
	Nobody.
	I just thought maybe I was like, I could cook asparagus.
	And I fucking can't.
	I suck.
	Why don't you look it up on the internet?
	Good call.
	Jennifer Tennis on the line.
	Good call, Gav.
	Nailed it again.
	Hey, guys.
	Hi.
	Hey, what's up?
	How are you?
	How are you doing?
	So I'm going to tell you something that will send a chill down your spine.
	Ooh.
	So the other day.
	Can I warn you in advance?
	Please don't make this about children in duress or it's going to ruin the show.
	No, no, no.
	Okay.
	So there's this series on YouTube that I like to watch where they'll show someone like breaking down a scene in a movie or TV show like a professional.
	So like maybe if there's a doctor, it'll be like a doctor and he's watching something on, you know, a surgery and he's like, this is how this is what happened.
	That's crap.
	Yeah.
	Well, so the other day I was watching one and it was this man.
	He was in forensic something.
	I don't know.
	And he was probably like 65, so he's been doing it for a long time.
	And the scene that they were showing, I guess I won't say the movie so I don't ruin it for anyone.
	But at the end, you guys.
	No, ruin it up.
	Come on.
	This is a ruin festival.
	Always.
	Okay.
	So, seven, you know, at the end when Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in the box?
	When she what?
	When Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in the box?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So he was breaking that down, and he said that in all of his career, he's only really seen mutilation like that twice, I think you said.
	And then he said, until COVID, and he said, ever since COVID, I see it all the time.
	What?
	Yeah.
	And this was not a political show, you know.
	It's just, it was like, it wasn't BuzzFeed, but it was something, you know, it wasn't political.
	He was just telling, you know, his story.
	So he's a forensics dude, and since COVID, he's seeing like an arm in a bag and a head in a bag.
	The implication being that mental illness is out of control with all of these lockdowns and homicidal maniacs are getting crazier than ever before.
	Yep.
	Wow.
	I know.
	That's juicy.
	Okay.
	Thanks for calling.
	Thank you.
	Juicy stuff, huh?
	Yeah.
	See, and there's no data and statistics on that.
	They're all like, there's 700 old people in the hospital.
	Yeah, but what about the long-term damage of children wearing masks for three years when they don't have to?
	And what's this doing to the loonies who were considering murder, but then decided not to because they have a job and they have medication and they're socially interacting?
	That's the thing.
	Humans are naturally social people.
	Absolutely.
	So us sane guys can take it on the chin and not socialize as much, although we never stopped going to our local.
	But the lunatics who don't socialize, they're now pushed over the edge.
	Everyone near, just like that game that has the coins near the edge, everyone near the edge with COVID has been pushed over the edge.
	We're fine.
	Our coins are way back here.
	But those nuts, those fucking loonies.
	And that is probably a huge part of all this anti-Asian attacks in New York City.
	It's not because Trump said it's from China, which it is, by the way.
	It's because lunatic assholes are up.
	Yeah, they're out there.
	Tend to prey on the rice cakes.
	Like Ryan.
	Hello.
	Yeah, people are getting dismembered more frequently.
	They may not put that in the news.
	They'll just say it was reported as a death.
	Yeah, there's a murder.
	And isn't it funny how that's how we find out from some guy who's comparing Gwyneth Paltrow's decapitated head?
	He's like a forensic pathologist.
	He's like, I've only come across this twice.
	This is why I keep screaming, everyone is interesting.
	Talk to everyone.
	When you're in your Uber, how's business?
	And you talk to a real estate agent, how's business?
	Always say, how's business to people.
	At the very least, at the florist, you find out that they're selling less or more flowers than before.
	That's the most rudimentary information you get from how's business.
	But if you can spice it up and you talk to someone in NR, you may find out about a lot of beheadings.
	Now you know shit, and it's not going through the media's filter.
	I was fucking talking to journalists today about Prowboys, and it's just like, it's like working in a sewage plant.
	Like I'm just sitting there with my rubber gloves up to here and a pitchfork, just going through the horrible N-word quote they heard, or me saying choke a bitch, choke a tranny, and explaining the context for that and why I said that.
	Because they don't watch the show.
	They watch the sizzle reel clips they get from Vic Berger and they go, why did you say that?
	That's fucked up.
	No wonder Max and John are in jail.
	You told them to kill people.
	That's their mentality.
	And you have to sift through that and clean it out.
	I really feel like someone with the fire hose, just like washing cow shit off a large iron pallet.
	I understand the lack of care for countries such as Ukraine, but isn't compassion for more primitive cultures a defining element of Western culture?
	We got plenty of primitive cultures here, by the way.
	Although conceptually I agree with isolationism, I feel my Western Christian values opposing that ideal.
	What do you guys think?
	I think that I'm happy to go out and help the world when we're done here.
	Even when you see people in Africa like spreading Christianity, I go, is everyone in America a Christian?
	Are they all doing great for religion and spirituality?
	Like some guy, oh, fucking our office manager here at the studio goes, oh shit, I didn't know you were the vice guy.
	Hey, I saw this vice episode where they were giving sight to these people in Africa that had separated cataracts or whatever.
	And it was so incredible to see them do this operation.
	It's not that expensive.
	It's like $100.
	And they could see again.
	You got to see these African poor people see.
	I didn't tell them that I had nothing to do with that.
	I was long gone.
	But I'm hearing the story going, I didn't say this because you want your office manager, your building to like you.
	But I was like, can everyone in America see okay?
	Before you get on the plane, were you at 100% of the hood and the trailer park and the Virginia fucking ex-miners, unemployed yokels?
	Can all the hillbillies see?
	Because if the hillbillies can't see, then there's no need to go to the airport.
	So yeah.
	There's 8 billion people in the world.
	I don't have room for that much caring.
	What should we do now?
	Let's see.
	Okay.
	I found a funny side.
	Clownpill.news.
	Okay.
	Random three-banger for you gents.
	Rye Guy, favorite guitar.
	Gav, favorite watch.
	Maddie, favorite handgun.
	Only own, want to own.
	Thanks for the first time watching live, and it's dope.
	Well, my favorite watch is obviously this.
	Sub-Mariner.
	Sub-Mariner Rolex.
	Although, my favorite artist, Wes Lang, did a limited edition Grim Reaper Rolex that's $80,000.
	And I don't even think they're available to man.
	I would have to have $1 billion in the bank before I would blow $80,000 on a cool Rolex.
	But Wes Lang is my favorite guy.
	Very talented chap.
	And I would want that.
	You can pull it up anytime.
	Where is it?
	Is it Wes Lang?
	Yeah, WES, Space Lang.
	I typed in Les Wang.
	Which typed in Les Wang?
	Which is what I would like.
	Les Wang.
	Okay, so he's got his own cool, like, black Rolex.
	It's pretty metal.
	Wouldn't that be fucking badass to have?
	But yeah.
	I'm very vain and self-indulgent, but 80 grand?
	Little rich, little rich.
	I know him.
	I contacted him.
	I was like, can you maybe cut me a deal?
	And he was like, yeah, I could probably get it for like 70.
	That's pretty much fucking more like $500.
	Could you just give me one?
	Can I just have one?
	I'll pay you $10 a month for the rest of my life, which is still not a lot of dope.
	What's your favorite guitar, Rye Guy?
	Ooh.
	Ooh.
	Telecaster, for right now, it's my favorite guitar currently.
	What is that?
	Isn't that just the brand?
	No, no.
	Fender makes a telecaster.
	Okay.
	And Maddie, favorite handgun?
	My favorite EDC was a Glock 23, subcompact, 40 cal.
	13 plus 1.
	Why is it your favorite?
	It's compact, and 40 cal has a knockdown power.
	What does that mean?
	It's a big hole.
	Oh.
	Oh, knockdown, meaning you can knock the person down.
	It hits harder than a 9mm, but it's not as big as a .45.
	What's 13 plus 1 mean?
	How many rounds?
	Well, I bought it before there was a magazine ban.
	Now you can only have 10.
	But when I was buying handguns, you were able to get 17.
	Weren't we talking about this last night?
	They banned 7 was the max.
	10.
	I thought it was 7, but there's no such thing as 7.
	There's 5 and there's 10.
	So when they say 7 is the max, that means you can't have a 10, so you end up with a 5.
	But then companies make it...
	There's no such thing as a 7.
	Well, 45 comes with 7.
	Wasn't that what you were saying, or was it the other dude?
	It wasn't me.
	I remember they did something like that where it's like Anthony was complaining about an Opian Anthony.
	He was like, 45 comes in.
	I think it's a 7.
	Oh, maybe it was Anthony.
	And I eight.
	One in the tube.
	Oops.
	Okay.
	Evening fags.
	Well, that hurts.
	Unnecessary.
	You know what?
	Let's take a timeout.
	Yep.
	It's hard for Maddie and Ryan and I to get out here.
	We do our best to entertain you.
	We want to have fun.
	Maddie cooked a delicious meal as well as coming out here, answering your questions, trying to contribute to the conversation.
	It's not easy.
	And when we come up here, we hope that it's not for naught.
	And you care about us and you enjoy our company.
	When we go to the letters page, when we reach in the mailbag and we see the word fags, it cuts us to the quick.
	Right to the quick.
	It stabs us to the bone.
	Bone stab.
	It makes us...
	Look, Maddie's pulling a knife.
	He's so mad.
	He might inflict pain on himself.
	He's probably going to cut himself.
	I've heard Maddie cuts himself.
	He's a cutter.
	So if you want Maddie to keep cutting himself, if you want me to keep having nightmares, and if you want Ryan, who's now become bulimic since starting this show, that's why he's so slender, then keep calling us fags.
	You try.
	You try coming out here.
	You try reading these letters.
	You try fucking reading these super chats, doing this show, researching dancehall and TIPA IRI.
	You try burying your fucking soul every day, every night.
	Ripping your heart out.
	Pouring your feelings onto this desk.
	Only to be called quote-unquote fags.
	A fucking awesome guy.
	See, I'm humble folks.
	We hate fags.
	Fags is the meanest thing you can say to us.
	You might as well call us...
	Anyway, evening fags.
	I heard Maddie name drop Local147 last week.
	My dad and grandfather are both Jim McCaffrey.
	I'm the third.
	My son's the fourth.
	We were sandhogs.
	Yeah.
	70s to 90s.
	I was the black sheep.
	Skipped the union.
	Joined the Navy.
	Killed Hadjis.
	What a pussy, man.
	You fucking didn't, you didn't become a sandhog so you go and indulge yourself playing video games in the Middle East.
	I'm wondering if Maddie knew them or had any great stories about them or time spent in the tunnel.
	Pissing in guys' boots was one of my dad's specialties.
	Proud of your fucking boy.
	I worked in 147 towards the later part of my run in the construction unions.
	I started off at 731 in 95, and then I switched my book to 147 at the start of the East Side Axis when they connected the Long Island Railroad to Grand Central.
	So I only worked in the tunnels for about a year.
	So, no, is the short answer.
	You don't know Jim McCaffrey.
	I worked at overnight shift.
	Here's a weird question for you, Maddie, from Edward.
	What were you like as a young man?
	A young man?
	Like, as an adult?
	I don't know what the fuck.
	What a weird question.
	It's important to check the time of the question sometimes.
	This came at 10.04 p.m.
	This guy probably sent this in a blackout.
	And he would read it in the morning.
	You're going, what the fuck?
	I don't know.
	Why don't you say, wait till we see the manatees tomorrow?
	Let's say when you were 19, 20.
	I assume you were a bad boy.
	I used to travel a lot back then from, I'd say, 17 to like 21, 22.
	I was always out in the bars having a good time.
	I used to smoke weed back then.
	I smoked a lot of weed.
	Did a lot of acid.
	I was just enjoying my life, really.
	I didn't really have a full-time job until I got married and, you know, after 95.
	That's when I started taking things seriously.
	But I was always, you know, I had a few brushes with the law.
	My criminal history goes back to 88.
	Started around 16.
	But, you know, fights, stupid shit like that.
	But, you know, I was an all-around guy, you know.
	Had my fair share of fist to cuffs and bad nights drinking and experimenting with drugs and lots of girls.
	I think you, if anyone's curious, just check out the Cockney Reject song Bad Man.
	And you'll know what Maddie was like when he was young.
	Can you tell the story about your women's studies class in college?
	It's my favorite, Robbie Dylan.
	Robbie Dylan used to edit Vice Magazine back in the day.
	He was a bit of a Maddie O'Dell character.
	He was a criminal, ex-bank robber, but a smart guy.
	And I have about three major women's studies classes.
	Like the guy, Damon Alburn from Fucked Up, I took women's studies in college, not because I gave a fuck about feminism, but because it was the only remotely controversial and interesting course to take.
	So you can get in arguments and fights in those classes.
	There was one where I think the one he's talking about is we were talking about pornography and she said, who actually likes this?
	And who wants to watch this or something?
	And I said, I certainly don't.
	And I think the woman said, like, not some faggot like that that's in a woman's studies class, but I mean what actual guys?
	And I think my professor said, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	And then she got in big trouble for saying the word faggot.
	And he said, she goes, no, I didn't mean gay.
	And he goes, what did you mean teacup?
	I'm sorry, Robbie, I'm obliterating the story.
	I don't really remember that particular one that well.
	I can't remember if I was the faggot in that story.
	But the other woman's studies thing I remember is we were talking about Zora Neale Hurston.
	It's funny how you remember stories that are more important to you and you forget the ones that aren't.
	But from the punk band Chumbawamba, I learned that Zora Neale Hurston went through a red light.
	And when she was pulled over by the police, she's a black author, a very talented lady, she said, oh, I'm sorry, officer.
	I saw the white people going through the green, so I thought the red light was for me.
	And he goes, oh, stupid Negro.
	I understand.
	Okay, you're free to go.
	So I told that story to my woman's studies professor because we were studying Zora Neale Hurston.
	And then she got up in front of the class the next day and told the story like it was her story that she discovered.
	And I'm sitting there in like row three going, and she just plowed through it, stole the fucking story from me.
	Now, at this age of 51, I'm just like, yeah, what a lying-thieving bitch.
	Of course she is.
	She's teaching feminism.
	But back then, I was mortified.
	I thought we were all friends.
	I feel terrible.
	Maybe we can call Robbie.
	Maybe he's watching.
	Do you got somebody on the line in the meantime?
	Or do you want to call him now?
	I want to call him now.
	Thinky.
	Thinky.
	Then there was the other story where Robbie and I were both in a women's studies class, and we were talking about overpopulation.
	And I said, everyone's talking about the environment and climate change and the ozone, but it just comes down to population.
	The more people you have, the more environmental destruction you have.
	So why aren't you talking about more breeding?
	And then the feminist said, you're only bringing that up because whites are having less babies and brown people are having more babies and you want less brown people.
	I had never even thought of that.
	Hey, Ryan, did you get that?
	Yeah, Matty, should I show the whole thing?
	Yeah, you could show it.
	All right.
	There we go.
	Matthew 47.
	Okay, we believe you.
	Don't worry.
	It was back in 2012.
	The good old days.
	Hey, man.
	Hey, how's it going?
	Good.
	Is that the story?
	Is it the faggot story?
	No, it's the story where you're in the women's studies class and the girls were talking about, you know, if we're assertive and we're women and we stand up for ourselves, then guys won't like us.
	And you were sitting in the class and the teacher said, well, what about guys like Gavin?
	And the girls said, no, I mean real guys.
	Oh, shit.
	Your accent is so weird.
	Really?
	Yeah, I guess it's been a long time since we've spoken in person.
	It's like Native American.
	It's like Indian.
	It's watching like good fellas.
	And then it's Canadian, and then it's French.
	It's like five guys at once.
	Yeah, it's a pretty unique accent.
	It's only me and my brother that have that accent.
	And like people, people hear us.
	People hear me in a bar and think, oh, hey, what's my brother doing there?
	anyways, hey, I'm really enjoying the show.
	I think it's great.
	I love everything you're doing, and we look forward to speaking again soon.
	Okay, see you, man.
	That guy's got some good stories.
	You ready for this call?
	It's a VIP.
	You and Michael Malice ever kissed and make up.
	You know what?
	All of this, like, getting interested in people's various relationships and, like, are you going to talk to this guy?
	And is Sam high?
	Like, it's fucking game.
	Why do you care if...
	I hung out with Michael Malice like five times in my life.
	Why do you give a fuck if we're friends?
	He doesn't think about me.
	I don't think about him.
	It's not a thing.
	This is so queer.
	It's like being a little kid and going, I wish Billy Idol and Cindy Lauper would get married because they're both so cool.
	Stop playing with these figurines in your living room and wishing that this person would like, that person would like this person.
	It's fucking embarrassing.
	If you're interested in relationships, get into one.
	Marry someone.
	If you've got some beef with a friend and you wish you didn't, then I don't know, make sure that it's worthy of getting over and try to get over it.
	But like, I wish The Rock was friends with Vince Neal.
	It's fucking queer, man.
	Fuck off.
	What a retarded thing to be concerned about.
	Me and Michael Malice, what?
	You know, it's crazy because I actually kind of agree with you, Gavin, for once.
	Good.
	Like, for a while, I thought that all of your takes were, like, not so good, but this one's actually pretty good.
	You want to be friends again?
	No.
	Oh.
	I think you're a closeted homosexual.
	You're not an open person.
	I'm like, my cards are always on the table.
	You're always holding your cards at your chest.
	You're not a fun dude.
	Okay.
	But who cares?
	Like, I'll never think about you again until this question comes up.
	Neither will I. I'm sure you're not tossing and turning every night in Austin, Texas, wondering what the future for Mike and Gav is.
	Not even close, Kevin.
	Okay, good.
	Yep, not even close.
	And you know what else is weird about this show or this business we're in?
	I'll say something about someone fucking totally random.
	Like, not Joe Tonelli, but someone with some sort of internet presence.
	And I know it goes straight to them.
	Like when we did that thing with our handicap fan, Crip Daddy.
	Handicapped friend.
	And we were jokingly talking about who's hotter.
	Isabella DeLuca or Isabelle O'Reilly.
	This, by the way, is on a fucking one-way ticket to them.
	This talking here.
	You're speaking directly to them.
	So it was me, who's an old, ugly man, and a crippled kid who's got weird wrists talking about these tens and who's hotter.
	That's a funny concept.
	I've done it many times.
	I did my old show.
	I had a burn victim where we talked about who's a hotter chick and we broke down like girls with cankles and stuff.
	It's a parody of the way men see women.
	I met her at James O'Keefe's book launch last week and I go, did you see the thing I did with Crip Daddy?
	And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Everyone sent it to me 100 times.
	Like, who are these little people?
	Like, they were talking about you.
	I don't care.
	I knew she'd see it, but like, who sits there and clips it and goes, hey, you should know.
	Or I get it all the time.
	It's like, hey, Chris DeLeah mentioned you on his show and it wasn't negative.
	And you're like, well, I guess I'll check it out because he's a famous guy and this might be relevant to the show.
	So I watch the clip and he's like, I'm turning into right Chris because he's mad about mandates.
	And then he goes, I'm turning like, I'm like that guy, Gavin McInnes or whatever.
	And then they move on.
	Like, they don't even dwell on that.
	Why'd you send that to me?
	Why would I give a fuck that some random comedian mentioned my name for one second?
	Is that going in my Gavin Museum?
	Grow the fuck up.
	Are you and this guy ever going to be friends again?
	Why?
	Do you play with us as cardboard cutouts and make us go to Hawaii together?
	Work on your own life.
	Don't worry about a person, a zealous celebrity said something else about another fucking zealous celebrity.
	Jesus Christ.
	It's embarrassing.
	Look at yourself in the mirror and then go, ugh.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	We have a caller.
	One of the journals today, he's like, a lot of the things you say condone violence.
	Like, for example, you've been quoted as saying fighting solves everything.
	I go, it's a very common working class saying.
	It's at every hockey rink and at every boxing gym.
	And you should be embarrassed that it's something you've never heard of before.
	Because it shows that you're a fucking pussy.
	I feel like I'm a doad.
	Caller from Canada, you're on the line.
	Caller from Canada.
	Are you going to be friends with Anthony Cumius' girlfriend soon?
	Yes?
	What's up, my name is Kyle?
	Oh, my brother?
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Hey, buddy, how you doing?
	Good.
	I've got a great story from Ottawa, from the protest.
	Oh, let's hear it.
	So, we're hanging out.
	You know, we're at the front lines.
	Everybody's partying.
	And I'm wearing my cowboy hat.
	And a guy comes up to me and he's like, did you do that on purpose?
	And I'm like, what do you mean?
	Like, I just woke up with a fucking cowboy hat.
	Can I send the picture you're talking about to Ryan to show?
	Yeah, yeah, of course.
	And he goes, no, no, no, no.
	I mean, did you do it on purpose to wear it backwards?
	And I'm like, oh.
	Well, no, I mean, I didn't mean to put it on backwards.
	But, yeah, I mean, thanks for the tip, man.
	He goes, yeah, yeah, I'm from Georgia.
	I'm in the American military, and I'm up here training Canadian soldiers and just checking out the protests.
	So right away, like, you know, all my friends were all over this guy.
	Like, you know, as soon as you hear someone's a vet, you just, you become gay for them right away.
	And we're like, that's so fucking awesome, man.
	What are you doing here?
	And he's like, yeah, you know, I'm training Canadian soldiers.
	You know, you guys fucking suck.
	I'm from Georgia.
	I'm in Delta Force.
	Holy shit, Delta Force?
	That's so fucking cool.
	And like, we can't get enough of this guy.
	So we're hanging out with him.
	And I'm like, what are you doing, man?
	Like, where are you staying?
	Do you need a place to stay?
	He's like, you know, I'm just roughing it.
	I've got a tent that I'm sleeping in.
	And I'm like, oh, okay.
	You can stay at my place.
	You need a place to stay.
	Obviously, you're a vet.
	Thank you for your service.
	Yeah, you can stay at the place that I bought off dad for 10% over market value.
	Yeah, to make a profit.
	Are you in the market for a home in Ottawa that's priced?
	And so, you know, we're just, we're hanging out with this guy.
	But the longer we hang out with them, the more like the story is not checking out.
	Like, wait a minute, you're 25, you're in Delta Force, and I don't think Delta Force guys go around telling everyone they're in Delta Force.
	Yeah, they don't really say Delta Force.
	It's known as either CAG, C-A-G, which stands for Combat Application Group, or people in the know just refer to it as the unit.
	And do you say you're in the unit or do you keep it to yourself?
	No, they're pretty tight-knit.
	Hi, I'm James Spond.
	I'm in MI5.
	My number is 007.
	MI6.
	It's actually MI6, so I know stuff too.
	Okay.
	Yeah, so now I'm doing like, I think now there's like a stolen valor situation, but I don't know shit about the military or Delta Force or anything.
	So I'm just kind of Googling when he's not looking, like, where did Delta Force train?
	And then going, hey, so Fort Worth, that's where you train, right?
	Hoping he would say yes.
	And I catch him in a lie.
	And whatever he gets, the answer right.
	And I'm like, shit, I got to find a new fucking trivia piece to catch him on.
	And yeah, and then I get his phone number.
	It's an Ottawa number.
	You got set up pretty quick there, buddy.
	Yeah, this went on the whole night.
	He slept over at my house.
	And the entire night, I'm just trying to catch him in a lie about being in Delta Force.
	He's definitely just some dumb kid.
	But in the end, I had way more fun hanging out with a liar than I probably would have hanging out with a Delta Force guy.
	Like Joe Donelli.
	But wait a minute.
	You meet someone, they seem sketchy, they're unreliable, and your first instinct is, you should come to my home where I'm sleeping and vulnerable, and you can knife me.
	He probably killed a Delta Force guy in his sleep and took his identity.
	You know, my friends are also getting a weird read on him.
	And so when I go home, I immediately hide a couple firearms that I had out in the open, and I put them away.
	And my buddy John, who still hasn't clued into him being a fucking liar, as soon as we walk in the house, John goes, Kyle, where'd you put all the firearms?
	We've got to check this out, man.
	See, this is because of our age gap being 14 years.
	I'm half brother, half dad.
	So I went from loving this story to now I'm just like, Kyle, why are you leaving yourself vulnerable?
	You could have been murdered by a fucking wayward slum dog millionaire.
	My wayward slum.
	Carry on my wayward million dollars.
	He's just an idiot kid.
	And in fact, he keeps texting me because he left his jacket at my house, which is not really Delta Force kind of things you do.
	Just leave your coat around.
	If we called him, would Maddie be able to suss out his false valor?
	I'm not an actor.
	Yeah, why don't you give us his number?
	Send Ryan his number.
	Kyle, send Ryan his number.
	I'll send Ryan his number right now.
	Okay.
	And also, I get accused of wearing my cowboy hat backwards, and it's exactly like yours, but it has a label in the back.
	Yeah.
	So I put the label here.
	Is that not what you do?
	Yeah, I mean, I don't, is it backwards in that picture?
	Maybe.
	It looks fine to me, but does your hat have a label?
	Yes, it does.
	So you put that at the back?
	I would imagine it's a little thinner, the brim in the front.
	Right.
	And it's a little wider in the back.
	That pinch is a bit more.
	Mine's got a little stitched in square, and I put that at the fucking back.
	And then Southerners, or a Southerner, said it's on backwards.
	Fuck you.
	All right, KY, thanks for calling.
	Was this the guy?
	No.
	Hello, boys.
	Constant headache.
	Joyce Manor.
	Okay.
	I don't get that.
	I don't know who Joyce Manner is.
	I thought that was a withna joke.
	Last time we had a million super chats we didn't get to.
	Yeah, we're trying to pilot.
	Are they piling up and we're not going to get to them?
	Because then I won't read from the.
	Yeah, I think we should retire the mailbag during the...
	Unless something comes in that's prescient.
	Okay.
	Hey, Gavin, you know the backstory regarding these indigenous grave sites.
	What's the reality that what was found?
	If anything, love you.
	Marie, they were all a lie.
	It was all a myth.
	They saw these sites and they saw these destroyed graves and they thought, holy shit, there's tons of children who were murdered here.
	Indians don't really care about graves.
	They're into the afterlife.
	If you lose your toe, you've got to save your toe and Be buried with it, and then your soul goes up there, and now your body's up there.
	You don't need your body down here.
	So they don't really have like, you know, gravestones the way we do.
	So there was a bunch of fucking broken crosses, whatever, broken sticks.
	And everyone just assumed it was a mass grave site.
	Trudeau ran with it and said, yes, it's true.
	Tons of mass child graves all over Canada.
	So Antifa and the radical left began burning down churches.
	Zero media coverage.
	Ezra Levant's the only one who went near it.
	We got burning churches all over Alberta, Saskatchewan, Calgary, Regina, Winnipeg, all over the sort of Canadian Midwest.
	They're burning churches to the fucking ground based on a rumor.
	And then they get these seismic x-rays that can go down 100 feet and see exactly what's there.
	Guess what they come up with?
	Fuck all.
	Some old lady grave over here, some old man over there, no child graves, all a myth, all forgotten.
	And it was used to help shut down that Polish dude.
	I was going to say Roman Polanski, whatever his name is.
	Arthur Pavlo or something.
	Arthur Polowski.
	Polowski.
	Who keeps getting arrested?
	Part of the justification was, of course, our horrible past and the Christian church murdering First Nations children, as they're called up there.
	All a lie, all a myth.
	Everyone fell for it.
	And as is always the case with this shit, it's gone from the news cycle by the time the truth comes out.
	And that's what the left loves.
	They start a rumor.
	They start a thing.
	Everyone believes it.
	You go do your diligent research.
	Someone gets a seismic x-ray machine.
	We see they're lying and they're like, oh, that bitch?
	It's like Vince Neal.
	It's like Motley Crew.
	You're some groupie sucking off Motley Crew and you get pregnant and you go, hey, I have a baby with you, Vince Neal.
	And he's like, bitch, I'm already in Colorado.
	I don't even know who you are anymore.
	And we're left here pregnant with Vince Neal's baby going, well, you burned down all my churches.
	Why'd you come in to me?
	And he's like, sorry, see ya.
	Wouldn't want to be you.
	Gotta go.
	We got an urgent caller, apparently.
	Bullshit.
	This is Justin.
	Justin's worried I'm not friends with Opie.
	649, you're on the line.
	Waiting for an hour.
	You might just.
	Oh, hey, man.
	Yeah, I just had to call and kind of touch base with you.
	My name's Justin.
	I'm from Ottawa.
	And, like, you've been talking a lot about bags and stuff tonight.
	And I got to tell you, it's just been giving me a hard time.
	Like, I mean, I'm gay.
	I found your show from some stuff at work.
	Some people were telling me about it.
	You know, I checked it out and I just watch it.
	And I just picture all three of you guys pegging me like you wouldn't believe.
	And it's just, it's really hard out here, especially in Ottawa.
	Some shit's going on at work.
	You know, my mom, you know, she banged this Cuban fella.
	Fella.
	So I don't really know my dad.
	And like, I just want, I just want to tell you, man, like, take it easy on us.
	It's rough.
	Yeah.
	Dude, you are a fag.
	So that sucks.
	But imagine not being a fag, a fag and being called a fag.
	That's what we're going through.
	That's like being white and being called a.
	Thanks for calling.
	Good attempt at comedy.
	That was great.
	It's important to try.
	You got to get out there.
	So we're going to try to call this gentleman.
	Okay, let's do it.
	Make outbound call.
	What was the Navy SEAL?
	What's he called?
	Alessandro, Delta Force.
	I don't know what to call.
	You can quiz him.
	I don't know any of that.
	I don't know much about him other than that.
	They're secret.
	I know what I'll do.
	I'll say I'm from Delta Force.
	I don't know if anyone's going to pick up, so let's chill.
	Be cool.
	Okay, be cool.
	Everyone, be cool.
	It's not giving me a dial sound.
	Okay, why don't you send me the text me the number?
	Okay.
	Supposedly it's calling.
	My Jaguar has arrived.
	Okay.
	We can leave a message.
	Oops.
	Text me the number.
	Oh, you did?
	I did.
	Okay.
	This is a little bit of our buddy Donovan.
	I'm spending a lot of money on my international plan.
	Stop, Brian.
	Hello?
	Hello, who's this?
	This is Sergeant Pierce Nigler.
	I understand that you've been telling people that you're a member of Delta Force.
	Don't know.
	Wait, number one, how the hell did you get this?
	Number and number two, I'm from Canada.
	I don't know how you're going to think that.
	I'm in the wrong country for that.
	Isn't Delta American?
	No, you've been claiming that you're from Georgia and you're in Delta Force, and that endangers our safety as military officers.
	Well, I'm not Delta Force.
	I ain't from the state, so I mean, clearly you see the area code on the number.
	You're right.
	Well, that's what's confusing us.
	Why did you pretend you're from Georgia and why are you pretending you're with Delta Force?
	All I'm saying is I don't know how you got that information.
	You know how we got that information.
	You know that we're in an emergency situation and you are putting people in jeopardy.
	Canada's emergency situation.
	Yes, and you're in Canada.
	Stop pretending you're in Delta Force and stop pretending you're from Georgia.
	Never said any of that stuff.
	You sure did, Buster Brown.
	You sure fucking did.
	The only way to fight false valor is more stolen valor.
	That's funny.
	I'm Canadian.
	I was lying, fuck.
	Then you're like, okay, so why are you lying to a random dude?
	Are you trying to fuck him because you're gay?
	I got close.
	I stayed at his house.
	So now my brother is like, some homo is lying to me.
	Want to come to my bed?
	But didn't he, it sounded like he had a Canadian accent there.
	Yeah.
	Your brother didn't pick up on that?
	I got to say, as a Canadian, like, we're told we have accents.
	When I first moved to America in the 90s, people would go, a boot.
	And I'm like, I didn't say a boot.
	I said about.
	Well, they say A?
	But even there, like, when I'm talking to Robbie, he sounded like fucking Big Joe Muffra.
	Yeah.
	He's like, hey, remember when you were at the feminism show, and then you were out, did, do.
	When Jim Jeffries did his American accent, it sounds like he just cut the shit and sounded normal for a second.
	So it was like he wasn't doing any accent.
	It was like, oh, finally.
	Sounds like a dude.
	So maybe if you don't have a raging Canadian accent, you sound like a fucking American.
	Just a fucking guy.
	Fucking guy.
	See, I'm getting my fucking accent back.
	Just talking about it.
	Fuck.
	Tony's on the line.
	What's up, Tony?
	Fuck.
	Hey, Gavin, do you know the backstory regarding those?
	Wait, we already talked about that.
	What's up, buddy?
	I've got a theory.
	Conspiracy theory.
	Okay, you also have a shitty phone.
	I believe that as divorce rises and church attendance plummets, children are deprived of the stimulating conversation.
	Are you talking on the Fisher-Price satellite that E.T. made in the movie E.T.?
	Thanks for calling.
	We can't hear you.
	Hey, guys, what advice do you have for baby monsters who are also high school teachers?
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.
	Like, just fucking tell them the truth.
	I don't have a problem with critical race theory per se.
	I don't have a problem with the ridiculous, retarded theory that America was built on slavery and racism and all that.
	You should tell kids that, and then you should tell kids the opposite of that, which is the truth, which is we fought the Indians, rival adversaries, then we won, and we had slaves for a minute.
	We didn't start slavery.
	We ended it.
	All of that stuff.
	You know what I've noticed, by the way?
	I've noticed that when I talk to people who were assholes in school, like that nerd I was having beers with today, he wrote an article in class at some Catholic university about how women cannot be priests.
	He was being taught in class that women can be priests.
	He did this thorough investigation on why that's impossible, and he brought in the catechisms and all that.
	I'm a terrible Catholic.
	I don't know the details.
	And he verified it with some Catholic expert, and he submitted it.
	And she goes, I got to say, man, most of the stuff I get handed in is half-assed ass kissing.
	And that article, that essay you wrote made me very angry.
	And that's because it was effective.
	And you get an A. You spanked me.
	And then I got this letter from a baby monster this morning, a fan of the show, who goes, you know, you keep calling the left crazy ex-girlfriends.
	I don't think that's true anymore.
	They're pit bulls.
	They're pit bulls from a rescue pound who are damaged and vicious.
	And if you don't smack them around, then they don't respect you and they bite your face off.
	But if you do smack them around and establish yourself as the alpha and you're tough and mean and disciplinary, they like it.
	They like the parameters.
	They like the discipline.
	Just like that teacher liked having her ass handed to on her silver platter, I think a lot of these liberals that are acting out right now, and I'm talking about Biden, Pelosi, AOC, right down to the libs of TikTok, blue-haired retards, they don't like this power.
	They don't want it.
	They want our discipline.
	They want to be slapped around.
	Definitely metaphorically, possibly literally.
	So we are at fault for giving them the talking stick and saying, well, what do you want to do today?
	No, it's like a girl on a date.
	She doesn't want democracy.
	She wants you to pick her up at 8, take her to this restaurant, take her to that thing, then do the jogger upside down, and then fuck her brains out.
	Hey, Ryga, have you heard of the Finnish neoclassical death metal band Children of Bottom?
	Front man Alexi definitely had the guitar sprinkles, died at 41.
	Yeah, I definitely heard of them before.
	Oh, Enrique Dario.
	Yeah, what's up, Gavin?
	How you doing?
	How's it going?
	Did a fly get in the teleporter with you when you were transporting your molecules to New York?
	No, these are my glasses.
	I wear these all the time.
	You know that.
	Okay.
	It's hard to pin my...
	Like, sometimes I sound Latino.
	Sometimes I don't.
	I pronounce my hard R's like this, like, yo, Gavin, that's pretty crazy.
	We have to go to the supermarket.
	But otherwise, it's a bad impression overall.
	Okay.
	Yep.
	Next super chat.
	We've got 20 minutes left.
	So those are going to trump the calls and the letters.
	Frankly.
	Hey, GNM, the attitude of my Air Force unit about all this is we don't want a war with Russia, but man, we'd love to fight an actually worthy enemy that don't wear pajamas and eat with their ass.
	I joint to blow up tanks, not cavemen.
	Wow, that's a good one.
	Damn.
	It's hard to laugh at me.
	You want to say that at like a funeral service for one of the servicemen, like, though we lost a hero today, it's worth noting that he died doing what he loves, fighting an actual adversary and not some fucking goat fucker in pajamas.
	Am I right?
	Hey, Gabder meet or work with MF Doom.
	I don't know.
	He's a rap guy.
	No, I never met him or worked with him.
	Sorry, Connor.
	Why don't you develop an interest in some white artists?
	Should I fight for a girl who I really liked?
	She just ended it.
	It was long distance, an age difference.
	22, her, me.
	30, me.
	More details in Mailbag.
	If you see it, Wisconsin, gay.
	Let's forget the gay part, right?
	Unless it's a lesbian?
	Is it a lesbian?
	Gay relationships don't matter.
	They're a dime a dozen.
	They're like flies.
	They have a shelf life of a day.
	But yeah, that's not enough details to make a...
	Ask Maddie what the steak is seasoned with.
	Salt.
	Just salt.
	And pepper.
	Right.
	And pepper.
	Was that steak seasoned with salt?
	How long did you cook it for?
	I think it took about 12 to 13 minutes.
	And what do you get the stove up to?
	Well, I cooked it on medium high heat and a cast iron skillet.
	Did you put a cover on top?
	We don't want to spoil everything for the show.
	Butter bathe.
	This recipe is going to be available on Maddie's hit new show, Maddie's Shitty Kitchen, tomorrow.
	It's only about 15 minutes, the show.
	Well, down to?
	I don't know if that's the final cut, but that was my estimate.
	Ryan, why are you so worried?
	What are you going to spoil it?
	No one's going to watch it?
	Yes.
	Can't give away the cows.
	Censored.tv works.
	Milk for free.
	Can't wait to see you guys at AFPAC.
	Gavin was my original red pill on this show, and it's helped me a lot for almost five years now, okay?
	Gavin, you mentioned the flat earth.
	There's a few times you've ever had David Weiss on.
	Yes, I had him on my old show, the Gavin McInnes show.
	Reasonable guy, smart guy, crazy person who thinks the earth is flat.
	He actually thinks it's shaped like a contact lens, and there's dozens of them all over this gigantic tundra.
	It's convexed.
	And I'm like, no, everything's flat.
	It's a flat tundra, but there's these contact lenses that one is Earth, one's another thing, one's another thing.
	And we're not allowed to visit the other one.
	Like we're on an ice planet, and that's like a melted piece of sky.
	And he couldn't come up with why.
	Like, what's the motive?
	I think there's an easy why.
	And I think I know the easy why.
	Okay, what's the why?
	It would be to have the people that know, they have their own little areas, and then we just have...
	Oh, this is everything for us.
	Okay, but say you're the elite.
	Why don't you have a Jeffrey Epstein Island?
	Like, there's plenty of places on Earth you can have.
	Well, I think these are upper, like, lizard-like.
	Why would elites need a whole planet?
	A whole contact lens?
	I don't know.
	Did you say lizard?
	Potentially.
	Who knows?
	So lizard people live underground, Ryan.
	Oh, that's true.
	In the Midwest.
	I don't know if I believe in the lizard.
	Get it straight.
	And of course, that little segment will be rocket shipped over to David Weiss.
	It'll be clipped and sent to him.
	Would you guys rather receive the most incredible, unbelievable blowjob while blindfolded, mystery blower, or receive a meh, BJ, from a true 10?
	It's so easy.
	Obviously a man.
	I don't want to get sucked off by a fag dirk.
	Next brain teaser.
	Gavin, Lent starts this Wednesday.
	Does it?
	It really creeps up on you.
	I'm going to start chugging whiskey now.
	I will get my ashes and I'll just do what I always do.
	For Lent, I'll quit whiskey.
	Attend Latin Mass?
	Yes, I will attend Latin Mass.
	Love it.
	Hey, Gav, I heard that the, not the Pope, but the church in general is trying to shut down Latin Mass.
	Right when it was becoming popular with young people for some bizarre reason.
	The Catholic Church is a fucking mess right now, as is the entire Western world.
	Hey, Gav, was there a crossover between punks and metalheads?
	Yes, it was called D-Punk, and it was started by the band Discharge.
	Lots of other bands followed suit after Discharge, Farookers, maybe GBH in a way.
	The list goes on, but eventually the problem with punk is you get good at your instruments, and going isn't satisfying.
	Were punks listening to Priest and Maiden and shit?
	No.
	When I was a kid, discharge was the closest you could get to metal, but metalheads would fight us and often win.
	So Maiden and Priest and shit was bangers.
	But you know what was weird?
	Later on in the late 80s, nerds started getting involved in the heavy metal scene.
	So there'd be like retarded metalheads who smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, and then guys hanging out with them who had long hair, and then giant glasses with Coke bottle lenses who had straight A's in math.
	Maybe they liked the intricacy of the solos.
	Anyway, next.
	Your fans request a walk-off or just show us your tits.
	Proud of your boy.
	I don't know what that means.
	You want me to leave the show now?
	Oh, like a walk-off?
	Like a fucking bond, like a cat walk-off?
	There's no such thing as a cat walk-off.
	Is this enough to buy the show notes?
	Also, Mr. Ryan, is it too much trouble for you to tell me how you do the live green screen?
	Is it an overlay or something?
	No.
	We have a green screen here in the studio, and then I stand in front of it, and that's how we do the green screen.
	And you can key it out, you see.
	So like if I were to make this.
	How do you do the green screen?
	With a green screen.
	I could green screen this jammy right here for the most part.
	I don't want to tweak it too much, but I, you know, we would just.
	Yeah, if you send Ryan your address for $100, I'll send you the show notes.
	That's true.
	I did that last week.
	That's true.
	Good evening, fellas.
	Okay, next.
	For someone who rightly laments the mental obesity of the left, it's painfully obvious you've done zero research on the alleged quote-unquote book banning of mouse.
	They didn't fucking ban it.
	It was just taken off the eighth grade curriculum list.
	Please stop perpetuating this blatant lie.
	No, that's banning.
	Like, no one thinks when you ban a book, it's not for sale anywhere in town, but it has been banned from a reading list.
	That is banned.
	Any kind of banning is banning.
	And it was a right-wing school.
	They thought that there was profanity in it.
	I think he says damn it a few times.
	And there was nudity in it, which is superfluous and silly.
	It's not sexual.
	It was naked fucking POWs.
	So it's ridiculous that the right removed it from an eighth-grade curriculum list.
	It should be on that list.
	It's a great way to learn about World War II and the Holocaust.
	So fuck you.
	We have 206 on the line.
	206, can you hear us?
	You might have to say hi if they can't hear me.
	Go ahead, 206.
	Hi.
	Hey, 206.
	Oh, man.
	All right, you blew it, 206.
	You shouldn't have gone poo.
	That's a lesson for the show tonight, guys.
	Don't go poo.
	Hey, I just want to say that you're an American hero.
	I'm 20 years old, listening to your podcast since 2019.
	I love when young people think that three years is a long time.
	Dude, you and I go way back.
	I've been following you since CRTV.
	Oh, when I was 50?
	That was like not even two years ago, or like maybe three.
	My question is, do you think Bob Odenkirk was a conservative at any time in his life before he went woke?
	No.
	Bob Odenkirk's always been a lefty.
	I don't know why.
	I know it's an ancient Chinese secret, but regarding that debate with the gamer dude, who won is really a matter of what your goal was.
	If you wanted to give your listeners a laugh, then you accomplished your goal.
	But if you want to influence that handful on his side, whom I consider your opinion, nothing.
	Where's my tax-deductible receipt?
	Boring.
	I don't like these.
	I like raising money for people, but sup fags, I have a comment about the drug war.
	I've been a patrol officer.
	Okay, I like this.
	For just over five years, and I've seen many violent assaults, including murders perpetuated by meth users and many forms of theft by opioid users.
	The violent assaults weren't perpetuated by someone who just happened to be a me.
	To be a me?
	No, the setup Ryan has here means people get cropped.
	Violent assaults by meth users, I don't think would be changed by legalizing drugs, but it wouldn't go up or down.
	As far as the theft by opioid users, it would be changed because they wouldn't be stealing for their opioids.
	I mean, it's not like legalizing drugs means there's no more crime.
	I'm not saying it'll be a utopia, but what I'm saying is things won't get worse.
	And we'll lose these gangs.
	Who's there on the line?
	I hear you.
	We hear you.
	Either you're 206 or 350.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hey there, buddy.
	Hello?
	Speak!
	Are you trying to make me...
	Hello?
	I don't know what 206 is.
	Who cares?
	You hear me saying hello?
	You're saying hello.
	Let's discuss things.
	Okay.
	How early is too early for me to ask my girlfriend to marry me and then after that get married and have kids?
	How long have you guys been dating?
	Well, we've worked together for over a year, dated for like two months.
	And how old are you?
	I'm 24.
	She just turned 20.
	Yeah, let's slow your roll a little bit here, bro.
	Why don't you guys keep things going, decide to move in together, and if after living together for six months to a year, there's been no drop-down, drag-out fight, then put a ring on it.
	And the second you put a ring on it, knock up a bitch.
	Fucking jizzen her.
	There's no waiting once the ring is on.
	Why bother?
	I don't get those people who are like, we want to try out being married for a while.
	What?
	You tried out just dating.
	It's called just dating.
	But yeah, you seem to be rushing a little bit, my friend.
	In a perfect world, of course, you'd propose to her right now, but we're not living in a perfect world.
	And your girlfriend's being bombarded with a lot of brainwashing.
	We just talked about that guy who got a no when he proposed to his girlfriend.
	So I would say go against Christianity and live together out of wedlock.
	Live in sin for six months to a year.
	And then if you both still feel like it, then fucking get a ring on her.
	Yeah, slow your own.
	I had heard what you had said about, you know, not wasting the best years of a girl's life.
	So I take that to heart, and I just don't want to drag her on for any more than I possibly have to without marrying her.
	I can't tell if this is a trick or something.
	28 is 27 is...
	It's not science or math.
	Is this a prank?
	You got to feel it out, sir.
	She's 20.
	She's got plenty.
	She could make you 16 kids.
	Yeah, let's wait until it's like eight.
	Yeah.
	28 is 15.
	The plan is six kids, so we got to get seven.
	Yeah, you're okay.
	You're good.
	Just wait a little bit.
	She might have venereal warts.
	She might have a dick.
	You're getting the fade.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	We got another one.
	I started that whole thing to stop these guys who date a woman for eight years from like 25 to 32 and then dump her.
	And then there's a guy who's like, hey, man, I'm horny.
	Should I marry this chick I fucked?
	Look at this asshole with his motherfucking dollar signs.
	Jeremy, you need to go fuck yourself.
	I'm not reading one word of your stupid note because you don't know how to write the English language.
	You can stay in the middle of the day.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	I get it.
	He's trying to make me mad.
	Okay.
	Congratulations.
	You did make me mad.
	He wants to fuck you while wearing Ryan's heels.
	Interesting.
	You got me.
	You got me.
	Congratulations.
	That oldest video in the world and the worst mistake in the history of the English language.
	Dear Miss McKinnis, I want to apologize for misspelling your name last week.
	Also, I recommend you convert to Protestantism.
	No, thank you.
	Next, let's power through these.
	What's up, faggots?
	You guys are the fucking best.
	How about states taking the land in their states and making them sanctuary areas?
	That's gay.
	Also, where the hell are the billionaires in America finding the good fight?
	Great point.
	Although there are plenty donating to guys like Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson and me.
	No, not quite me.
	We need mainstream media outlets at the very least.
	Keep it up, guys.
	We need you.
	Jersey Patriot.
	I mean, yo, from Charlotte, North Carolina, I went to Philadelphia for the first time to visit a friend and see Tool.
	Blew my mind how impoverished and sketchy most of the outskirts of the city were.
	Made me feel naive to how truly fucked America's huge inner cities are.
	I've been to LA, Atlanta, New York City, but Phil.
	Philadelphia.
	Maddie.
	Yeah, Philadelphia is a fucking.
	Toole concert?
	That hits close to home.
	Yeah, I could have went yesterday.
	But we had stuff to do.
	We had business to advance.
	He's a man of his word, and he passed up.
	And I told him, I was like, we could have done another day.
	And then I was like, no, don't let him know we could have done another day.
	Because now it's in vain.
	So I was like, I wouldn't have won anyway.
	I had a commitment.
	Man of your word.
	Just let you know, some behind the scenes.
	Maddie Odell.
	Well, for the record, Maddie, I would have forgiven you if you can on it.
	I mean, it's a first episode.
	It's not like, like, this is a live show.
	You can't miss the live show.
	But the first episode of a new series.
	Yeah, but I've seen Tool a few times.
	I've seen A Perfect Circle a few times.
	Well, if it's any consolation, Tools suck.
	You know, I make to differ.
	Dude, what was my opinion?
	What was with the bar today with the fucking music?
	I'm trying to talk to my intrepid nerd friend who already talks like a mouse.
	And they're playing the chili peps and fucking Metallica and so loud.
	You played that after I left.
	It's an old man bar.
	What's with the music?
	I don't know.
	And I'm taking a piss with that guy you were sitting next to, who's got kind of a beard.
	He kind of looks like you and me had a baby.
	So a hot ass baby.
	He's sitting next to me.
	Yeah, at the end of the bar.
	And I'm like, who's playing this fucking music?
	He's like, it might be me.
	Oh, that's probably Billy.
	And I'm like, dude, I'm trying to talk to my friend.
	I can't hear shit with your chili peppers.
	And he's like, well, it's sort of like commercials.
	Like, they come on louder than you think.
	And it's up.
	Yeah, see, the thing in that place, the jukebox, if nobody puts money in it, it plays random songs.
	Stop!
	Until you put money in, then it'll cut the song off that's playing and play your selections.
	So it could have been anybody, like nobody playing the music.
	That's got to be.
	And they do play pretty crappy songs when you're not putting money in it.
	Do you think the Truckers Convoy headed to Washington, D.C. is a trap, sort of like the meandering?
	I know people are leaving D.C. Something is fishy about the American Convoy.
	I hear it's really badly organized.
	The times seem to keep changing.
	Something fishy's going on.
	I don't think it's a trap like J6 was, but.
	Like, what are they going to do?
	Just park?
	I mean, if that's what they're going to do.
	Well, they say they're going to block off the roadways to even get into DC.
	The beltway or whatever it's going to do?
	The beltway, yeah.
	The loop or whatever.
	And then they go.
	So the truckers say, okay, we'll block the beltway.
	Maybe we can just put these up and not read them.
	What's up, Faggots?
	Love you, Faggots.
	See, now that you said that in the beginning of the show about how it's so hard to come up here and work, every one of these is addressing us.
	Which hurts even more because we've already addressed it.
	I'll give reading letters a try, you fags.
	Robert Mick Robertson.
	Remember in the movie Gummo when they screw a process?
	You got to make a moment.
	You feel sick to your stomach?
	That was 97.
	He ran 22 in the Victoria's Secret.
	Probably thinks that scene is hot.
	You go, girl.
	Great point.
	I'm on Smoco, so leave me alone.
	Smoco.
	Aimbot Targets is a ballistic steel processing company.
	We focus our attention on providing top-quality shooting targets produced from AR-600 Armor and AR-500 Steel.
	We offer a variety of targets that were designed to make shooting easy and safe.
	Aimbot's products are produced under a V. I think we got a loophole advertisement for $100.
	That's fine.
	Yeah.
	I'll read an ad for $100.
	Steel targets?
	Great.
	$100 is a lot in commissary.
	Hey, fags, I was just dumped recently.
	Can I get a pep talk?
	I want to fuck you.
	Brent, you need to fuck some fives.
	Yeah.
	Get back out there.
	Stop playing the field.
	Five fives.
	Five fives.
	Five fives.
	That's what you got to do.
	You have to fuck her out of your system.
	The last thing you need to do is stay home and watch TV in your PJs and cry like a little bitch.
	Hey, Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie, have you guys listened to InfoWars lately?
	It's on banned video.
	Yes, please watch it to expose the globalists.
	Gavin, I hope you become more and more of a Catholic.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Ryan is hilarious.
	Maddie makes a good conversation.
	A good lawn.
	A good lawn.
	You could do that.
	Did you see this whole thing going around where in October, Alex Jones goes, I've been having nightmares.
	I feel like there's going to be a major war in February.
	Really?
	Yes.
	I've got a really bad feeling that the globalists are going to take over and they're going to get their wish in February.
	Someone tweeted out, they go, he must be getting sick of being right all the time.
	He's got a pretty good average.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	You know, if you're thinking about, you know, war coming to you, maybe check out Aimbot's targets and you could, you know, sometimes I think that shoot them down and fucking that Alex has sources that are way better than anyone's sources.
	Remember, he's been doing this for half a century almost.
	Deep state guys.
	So, like, we have, you know, a state trooper and a cop and some military dude, but he has like dudes.
	And maybe he has dudes who make these decisions and say, like, we got to go to war in February.
	And someone else goes, really?
	Do we got to do that?
	Yeah, we got to do it.
	And he's like, fuck that.
	And then he calls Alex and goes, these assholes are going to war in February.
	Yo, Maddie, what cut of meat do you recommend for the best steak?
	You said this already.
	My favorite is a ribeye.
	Yes.
	Have you ever been drugged at a bar?
	I've had someone slip something in my drink once or twice, and it's a very strange thing to experience as a man.
	I've drugged myself at a bar.
	I drugged my nose.
	But yeah, why would a dude drug a dude, I guess, to rape him up the butt?
	Gavin, Wisconsin gay back, not gay.
	Just thought it was a funny name.
	Okay.
	Difference in age, distance and age difference.
	Fight it or no?
	Yeah, dude.
	Distance and...
	We don't know the details.
	Sorry.
	That's not the kind of thing you can solve.
	Fuck.
	That's an annoying question.
	Should I go for...
	Like, we don't even know what anyone looks like or anything.
	Pursue it, man.
	Find your...
	Pursue your love interest, dude.
	You can get her.
	You got this.
	Anyway.
	Not Ryan at all.
	No, this is not me.
	No.
	Gavin, I'm really, I mean, Ryan is a really good employee, and I'm not all retired.
	I think Ryan needs a raise.
	Oops, I broke something.
	Not Ryan at all.
	Okay, that's enough of that.
	We could go on forever with those people.
	Thank you for tuning in, folks.
	We're gone tomorrow, but we'll fill up the show with plenty of shit to look at.
	And in the interim, get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.
	Emergency, Mr. Doctor Mon.
	Yaffi Bring come your medication.
	And you give me some of your love potion.
	Give me the chance on it.
	Emergency, Mr. Doctor Mon.
	Yaffi Bring come your medication.
	And you give me some of your love potion.
	Give me the champion.
	My reaction won't do the boy in my reflection.
	To me, I'm your channel with my name.
	Baby, I'm answering.

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