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Feb. 18, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:20:59

S4E90 - THE CLAMPDOWN

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	I don't wanna fucking be anymore.
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.
	That was a fun band.
	Is a fun band.
	Remo Drive.
	Some Midwestern kids from, I don't know, Milwaukee or some shit.
	Mess.
	No.
	One of those awesome Midwestern towns where everyone drinks beer and cheese and it's fun to hang out with.
	Canadians, really.
	Midwesterners are indistinguishable from Canadians.
	And Chicago is Toronto.
	Let's cut the shit.
	I was going to play this band, High-Viz.
	It was neck and neck, and I don't want to wait till Monday.
	I'm not going to be here Monday.
	We're going to show an old Gavin McInnes show, maybe the first one ever.
	But High-Viz are this pro-working class band, post-proto-punk hardcore, really good too.
	The first band was sort of like that baseball band that we were into for a while.
	And this band is more weird.
	Their thing is like, they're proud to be working class.
	Which sounds so weird to us here in the West, in North America, because we don't have class.
	But as we're learning in this revolution, we have just as much class problems as Britain does.
	I mean, look at Canada.
	But I don't want to be serious in political today.
	It's a Friday.
	Let's have some fun.
	I had bag day today, where you wear a body bag thing, and guys punch you.
	So I hit someone for three rounds, and then he hit me for three rounds.
	My old scam was to wear two at once.
	And the coach said, no, you fucking pussy.
	He goes, I want to get on your show.
	I want to put me on your radio show.
	He thinks I do a radio show.
	I want to fucking tell everyone what a pussy you are.
	I'm going to, he's like, I'm going to end your whole thing.
	Because he thinks you guys think that I'm a tough guy.
	Like I'm dishonest, but I'm not.
	And then I took some pre-workout.
	So I'm actually, the thing about pre-workout is you work beyond your skill set.
	So I was hammering this dude more than I'm physically capable of.
	Sick.
	So after six rounds, I was like beyond dead.
	So I was supposed to do a double end bag and I just went to the couch and lay down.
	He's like, where the fuck is Gavin?
	And I was on the couch and it was that level of exhaustion where you're concerned about dying and you're holding your heart and you're staring at the defibrillator on the wall going, I hope people know how to use that because I want to be around for my children.
	And then I noticed, like the coach is a bully, and that's kind of what we sign up for.
	But I noticed, that's what I looked like after.
	I noticed they.
	Did they fill your fucking boxing gloves with bees?
	I'm clearly allergic to exhaustion.
	Did they put nettle on the outside of his boxing glove?
	I look like someone who's allergic to cashews, just rubbed cashews all over themselves.
	And I noticed there was no more ribbing of the G, which means you've reached a level of fag where people feel sorry for you.
	It's like being a Mets fan.
	Boston fans and Yankees fans will argue, and then you come in and you're like, yeah, well, that's like the Mets too.
	And people go, yeah.
	They don't, you're not part of the discussion as a Mets fan.
	People just go, yeah, actually, they do.
	It's the same with boxing.
	Like, if you're a shitty boxer and you hit a guy and you know you suck when he goes, good, good, nice one.
	That means he's better than you.
	And Yankees fans and Red Sox fans are the same with the Mets.
	Like, yeah, yeah, okay.
	You guys had a great year.
	Yeah, look at you go with your Jacob deGrom in the Hall of Fame.
	All right, buddy.
	Thank you.
	I'm my number one.
	But I got the vibe at the end when I was sitting on the couch for like two rounds going, that it was like embarrassing for the entire gym.
	And the analogy I would use is, you know, like that black dude who's on the slingshot?
	And instead of him going, whoa, this is crazy, you guys.
	He's just going, eh, mama, mama, and then faints.
	And I would, and then wakes up and goes, mama, mama.
	And I'd imagine when he goes click, click, click, click, click back down, like she's dumping him.
	You're done.
	I was the black dude going, mama, mama.
	Is that him?
	He's one of them.
	A lot of them pass out on the try.
	A lot of black dudes faint.
	It might be genetic.
	Maybe.
	Sickle cell anemia and fainting on the slingshot.
	The fast twitch muscle reverberates and...
	Wow.
	Yeah, this is me.
	That's me in the ring.
	That's one of the best ones I've ever seen.
	Why is he putting his hand over his mouth?
	I assume you're dumped after that, right?
	Can the relationship continue?
	Get up, get up, get up.
	Okay, get up.
	Get up, get up, get out.
	Stop talking.
	Go!
	Go!
	Complete takeover.
	Baby knocks over the chair.
	Sorry to interrupt me.
	Whoa.
	But there is some breaking news.
	The police are cracking down on the Ottawans, the protesters.
	Holy shit.
	Shit's getting hectic over there.
	They canceled parliament.
	Justin Trudeau said everyone out.
	The police actually kicked out the politicians.
	So you talk about storming the capital.
	Imagine the police came into the capital and kicked out all the lawmakers and said, No government today.
	That's a police state.
	So there's dozens of trucks honking.
	They're separating people from their families.
	The leftist take is that they brought kids here.
	By the way, it's bad when you separate Mexicans from their kids at the border.
	That's the most unthinkable thing.
	But according to the left, this is heroic.
	And there's weird shit going on.
	Like, they have Australian accents.
	I don't think there's enough Ottawa police willing to do this.
	So they're just grabbing any Tom Dick and Harry.
	Hey, I'll give you citizenship if you stand here in a fluorescent fucking ski jacket.
	Turn it up.
	I'm going to ask you to step back, and I'll want you to record it from here.
	Give me that problem.
	So this is it.
	This is the crackdown.
	Justin Trudeau.
	Some people said it was military disguised as regular cops.
	That's interesting.
	I've actually seen actual military.
	There are military there, that's right.
	But yeah, the head honcho that was kind of directing people before had an Australian accent.
	That's the most aggressive one.
	That's bizarre.
	And all the other cops, you can tell, if you're a regular cop, you just stand still and you don't really say anything to anybody.
	That's kind of, I think, their order.
	It's so weird seeing the media support this.
	It just shows what absolute fucking cucks they are.
	I sent you this guy, Ryan Ling, not to be confused with Ryan Long, our buddy.
	And his take is all like...
	Yeah, the police, people are freaking out about the police separating people from their kids.
	Look, police have done this many, many times.
	Not a big deal, guys.
	They shouldn't have brought their fucking kids here.
	Oh, Justin Ling, not to be confused with close.
	Your shit's all retarded.
	You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.
	Okay.
	Get it?
	What's that beeping?
	Somebody backing up?
	Hey, FBI, I think some of your bugs are running out of batteries.
	I got a weird thing in the mail the other day.
	It was like, I have information on Joe Biden.
	Oh.
	And it wasn't to my address, but it landed in my mailbox.
	What?
	And I thought, is this the feds trying to trick me into opening someone else's mail so they can charge me with a felony?
	Have you ever gotten a call from the state police that says, hey, we're looking for a donation and anyone will do?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Yeah, that's normal.
	Especially if you donate to them in the past.
	They have smart robots.
	So I said, I'm sorry, is this a real guy or a robot?
	And he says, this is a real human being, but I am communicating through a computer.
	So it was automated, but it has responses to trick you with these normal questions.
	Okay, go back to the shit, Faggot.
	Okay.
	The shit.
	Ryan Ling.
	Justin Ling.
	Oh, shoot.
	Oh, it looks like there's a...
	Someone.
	Oh, there's...
	Last night they arrested...
	I forget her name, but she was one of the organizers.
	And she was arrested peacefully.
	The guys with her were like, you have to take us too.
	And they're like, no, we don't want you.
	You know who's a good guy to follow?
	Is Keenan Baxt?
	He's like the new me at Rebel News.
	This is not going to be an easy thing.
	These are not go-karts.
	There's dozens of trucks.
	They go for blocks and blocks.
	What the fuck are you going to do?
	This isn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be.
	I thought that we were going to see the Gestapo here.
	Well, they do it in bursts.
	So they'll like inch up.
	And so it kind of is like a slow burn.
	But they're arresting people.
	What's the three mean?
	They're arresting people.
	So if the police kick the politicians out of the parliament, that's a police state, right?
	I mean, what happened with Castro?
	This is Castro too, his son.
	They kicked out the politicians.
	You got Keenan Baxed?
	Do you know who he is?
	I'm going to look him up right now, but I want to show that arrest from last night.
	If you haven't seen it yet, it's pretty interesting.
	I mean, there's been a lot happening.
	Now I feel bad for kicking Gavin out.
	He could have covered this.
	I guess, but I kind of like the way that you do it.
	You like me better than him?
	I'm pro-Gavin.
	Oh, what a diplomatic answer.
	All right, this is boring.
	We'll check in on that throughout the course of the show.
	Here's much more interesting news back to reality.
	Time travel exists, folks.
	Breaking.
	Much bigger than...
	Get rid of the flag.
	No disrespect to my brethren, but I don't want to confuse people.
	So, remember the fly with Jeff Goldblum?
	Yeah.
	He gets in, it's called a telepod.
	And this scientist invented a way to teleport from A to B. And he goes to, he could do objects and like animals and stuff.
	And he goes, I'm going to show you can do it to a human.
	Of course, being a real scientist, he tested on himself first.
	And he got in the telepod and he teleported.
	And everything went great, but there was a fly in the telepod.
	And he turned into a fly.
	This actually happened with Howard Stern's staff.
	If you check 1.5, Howard Stern tested a telepod, and the rest of his staff thought it was a joke, and they all piled in with him and closed the door, and his entire staff merged into Howard Stern's body.
	And it created...
	No, fuck, 1-5.
	You just ruined the bit!
	I said 1-5!
	You fucking numbskull!
	Oops.
	Well, 1-5.
	Death of a bit.
	Death of a bit.
	I'll cut it out.
	There's Howard Stern and his staff, His accountant, women who work there.
	It seems like very little of Howard Stern remains.
	I think it was just his face plate and some of his hair.
	Look at the neck.
	You know what it is?
	Howard Stern isn't overweight, but someone's neck is.
	And they got in there.
	Did Artie Lang visit during this day?
	Artie Lang was coming by to get his last paycheck.
	Oh, shit.
	He'd forgotten to pick it up five years ago.
	But similarly, there was a time traveler who went back to prehistoric times.
	Cave, not cave, yeah, caveman times.
	So post-dinosaur, but still woolly mammoths are around.
	And as he was coming back to report, he's kind of a nerd.
	He brought some ferns and stuff.
	A fucking caveman jumped into the machine with him.
	So when he landed, he just kicked the guy out.
	Now this cave person's roaming around San Francisco.
	That's not how hands go.
	This is before we figured out to put our hands on either side of us.
	It is tough.
	When we first started, we put our left arms through our legs.
	Are you sure that's not Chris Katan in Mr. Peepers?
	Is that not Mr. Peepers?
	Look at him.
	Ugh, I hate Chris Katan.
	Look at that.
	Caveman.
	He somehow got clothes.
	What is that, a blazer and shorts?
	I think it's a sweatshirt and shorts.
	This is where we're at, folks.
	Blue Run Cities.
	And if we're honest with ourselves, crime, COVID is not the problem.
	The problem in America, outside of gross self-indulgence and obesity, which are the same thing, but the real problem is mental illness.
	Our prisons are full of the mentally i.
	We shut down the looney bins.
	I don't know why we did that.
	They need to go back up.
	We need mental institutions.
	Also in the news, remember I was talking last week with this woman who was swept away under ice?
	It's the most horrific thing in the world.
	I'll just remind you, one six.
	I've seen a few things that make me think of hell.
	I won't say one of them.
	It was a bit a documentary.
	Oh, here we go.
	You're watching hell.
	It was a documentary about this guy who killed his daughters, and they got into very specific details.
	Don't ever watch any documentary about a man who killed his daughters.
	It's something I would pay $1,000 to have removed from my head.
	It's the most hellish thing I've ever heard.
	And then this is number two.
	I don't know why I'm showing it to you.
	It's somehow...
	Look, she's...
	Oh, she does the sign of the cross.
	And she just dives in.
	So he goes to get her.
	And it's just blackness.
	Oh my god, her children are there.
	Why did I show you this?
	I'm evil.
	Okay, that's enough of that.
	The most horrific thing imaginable.
	Talk about people being separated from their children.
	And it's literally in a horror movie.
	In The Omen 17, which, by the way, I think it's the scariest.
	The two scariest movies I know of are The Omen.
	Whoa.
	I don't remember that scene.
	That's not The Omen, is it?
	This is a compilation someone made to a Metallica song.
	Yeah, this is The Omen, too.
	I consider this and the one with Nicole Kibman where she doesn't know she's dead.
	The fuck is that one called again?
	The Others.
	The Others.
	All three Omens and The Others are the scariest movies I know of.
	I showed the Omen to my eldest kids and they go, you're a fag.
	I know they didn't say that, but they go, how is this scary?
	I go, this isn't scary?
	Look, they're trying to save him under the ice.
	This is us trying to save Canada.
	They can't go too close.
	Anyway, in the first case, you're watching it and you're like, get a rope.
	Where's a rope?
	And I saw this video the other day and I thought, oh, great.
	A third person.
	We have the kid from the Omen.
	We've got the Russian lady who made the sign of the cross.
	And now this guy's going to croak.
	Weird choice of music.
	But pretty ironically suitable.
	Ooh, that's some chilliness.
	You probably can't think straight.
	There you are.
	You're there, buddy.
	You're there.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	You're there.
	You're there.
	No, you're there.
	No, no, no, no, you're there.
	Meanwhile, he's freezing his ass off.
	Come on, come on, come on.
	You're there.
	He's wave.
	You can't understand him waving?
	You fucking idiot.
	Well, I don't know if idiot is the term.
	Well.
	Look.
	The rope.
	Have a plan B, folks.
	This is all metaphorical.
	Okay, speaking of cold, let's check in on Canada and see if they've got a plan B. How's the rope coming?
	Let's see.
	Just always have that up in a window somehow.
	It's the only sound I can make while trying to do that.
	Live in Ottawa.
	10,000 viewers.
	10,000 viewers?
	Viewers.
	Oh.
	This is what a Canadian riot looks like.
	It's very polite.
	Fuck Trudeau science.
	That's really their crime.
	Let's jump into Canada, shall we?
	I've got some Canada stuff.
	So the cops are moving in.
	Justin Castro in 2012.
	Oh, yeah.
	So go to 2-4.
	This is a good one.
	Jewish woman in the House of House of Parliament?
	Talking to the Speaker of the House.
	By the way, I love Canadian politics.
	It's the same as Britain.
	We have both sides fighting, but talking to the Speaker of the House.
	Wouldn't it be fun to be the Speaker of the House?
	Okay, let's hear your side.
	What do you got to say for yourself?
	The guy who does it, he's some fucking hoser from Thunder Bay, which is like West Virginia, total hick, dead mining town with mosquitoes the size of hawks.
	And he's not that well educated, like moderate, you know, local, the equivalent of a state college.
	He's a professor.
	He very speaks French and English fluently, which is really all you need in Canada to be considered worthy of a great cushy government job.
	But that's his job.
	He just sits there and people talk to him.
	I had to restart my mail.
	Which link?
	He occasionally stands up and will tell everyone to calm down.
	2-4.
	2-4.
	Your mail crashed?
	Yeah.
	I got the spinning wheel.
	Hmm.
	Wonder why.
	So keep in mind this woman...
	Is that 2-4?
	Okay.
	Try.
	There we go.
	Wait, that wasn't 2-4?
	Are you fucking up basic numbers again?
	Yeah.
	So that is 2-4.
	Yes.
	So you click 2-3?
	I believe so.
	Yes.
	Try to get up.
	Are you on brain medication?
	Yes.
	Well, stop it.
	It's making you even dumber.
	Hopeful vision for public life isn't a naive dream.
	It could be a powerful force for change.
	If Canadians are to trust their government, their government needs to trust Canadians.
	Those are the words of the Prime Minister in 2015.
	These people, very often misogynistic, racist, women haters, science deniers, the fringe.
	Same Prime Minister six years later as he fans the flames of an unjustified national emergency.
	Mr. Speaker, when did the Prime Minister lose his way?
	When did it happen?
	Conservative Party members can stand with people who wave swastikas.
	They can stand with people who wave to be able to get swastikas.
	By the way, if that really was a real dude who had a swastika, way to go, clown.
	You gave them a hook to hang their coat on.
	I'd say the odds are 99% it's just a fake dude.
	But say there is a 1% chance it's a real guy.
	Way to go.
	Like that proud boy who wore the 6 million wasn't enough shirt because he thought it was funny.
	Fed, nice work.
	I don't think he was a Fed, actually.
	I think he's just a fucking idiot who gave millions of people something to hang their coat on.
	Same with the dummies who went to Charlottesville.
	Same with James Fields, the guy who hit Heather Heyer.
	Like, way to go.
	Now we have to hear about that for the rest of our lives.
	That's why I was so worried someone's going to shoot Barack Obama.
	Not because I give a fuck about Barack Obama, but because I didn't want to hear about, we had one black president, you killed him.
	Don't give these people the fodder.
	The guy making that speech earlier, too, he said that, too.
	He's like, the guy fucking with the Nazi flag, that wouldn't fucking fly out here.
	We fucking told him to get lost, and he did.
	He's like, you know, we're good people.
	Yeah, but even like, remember Joey Salads?
	He went to a Trump rally with the swastika armband.
	And his point was, watch how I get treated.
	And the way he was treated was, get the fuck out of here, asshole.
	People still use that picture of him with the swastika as proof that Trump supporters are Nazis.
	I mean, on the one hand, you go, Gavin, we can't play by their game.
	You can't win.
	But on the other hand, I go, just don't give them an inch.
	Trudeau tyranny is trending.
	Oh, wow.
	Fuck.
	Well, that's the problem with Justin.
	He was always so pro-protest.
	Wouldn't it be awesome if I was the Prime Minister of Canada?
	And I went, all right, all right, let's meet.
	All right, all right, all right.
	And we meet, and I say, okay, we're going to lift the mandates.
	And then I do a speech.
	I even wrote it out here where I go, the people have spoken.
	You know, sometimes democracy is inconvenient, especially for those of us with power.
	But in a free society, you have to concede to the will of the people.
	And that's what we're doing here today.
	The mandates are officially lifted.
	Congratulations.
	Thank you.
	I'll be enjoying the next 72 terms as prime minister.
	I'll be dying of old age in the House of Parliament.
	But no, it's about saving face, as Rebel News points out.
	By the way, happy birthday, Ezra Levant.
	50 years young.
	I'm older than Ezra Levant.
	It's all about saving face.
	That's all they care about.
	And it's sad because this would be such a great moment to show that you're above petty things like how you're seen.
	But that's how these people get there.
	Chris Cuomo, Andrew Cuomo, all about ego.
	Well, obviously, Justin Trudeau was the previous prime minister's son.
	That's how he got there.
	But most of these politicians are there.
	It's Hollywood for ugly people.
	And they have no intention of giving anything, any flack.
	But the problem is he said so much dumb shit in the past.
	Like now you can go to 2-3.
	Our boy Ron Coleman points out that just like that weird lesbian, Justin Trudeau used to love this kind of shit.
	Quoting Justin Trudeau 10 years ago, when a government starts trying to cancel dissent or avoid dissent is when it's rapidly losing its moral authority to govern.
	Harper in 2005.
	So this is Justin.
	I thought it was a little articulate for Justin.
	This is Justin quoting previous Prime Minister Stephen Harper and saying, you fucking hypocrite.
	You are not supporting the people's will.
	And then it comes, then all of a sudden he's in Harper's shoes and he's like, get the Australian police over here.
	Get them arresting.
	I sent you a picture where we can try to find Trudeau.
	Trudeau.
	Let's see if we can do it.
	Stop.
	Game alert.
	We're having a game.
	We're playing a game now.
	Gotcha.
	They're calling him Trudeau.
	Trude Dope, I think, is a good one.
	Or Justin Castro?
	Okay.
	Do you think you can find him?
	I See people dancing on a truck?
	I do.
	I found him.
	Okay, what's his hat?
	It is an ethnic hat.
	It's purple.
	It's called a turban.
	It has a little purple feather.
	Yep.
	I didn't want to give it away.
	Guys, have you found him yet?
	Why is there blood?
	Oh, it's the police beating people.
	Yikes.
	He's a good artist, huh?
	Yeah.
	I found Waldo, if that matters a fuck.
	Where's Waldo?
	Oh, there he is.
	Oh, they're spelling it Trudeau because Waldo.
	There he is in the bottom left in blackface, dressed as a Sikh, I guess, in a turban.
	It's called a turban, Ryan.
	And of course, that is based on a real photograph.
	Yeah, this is international news.
	Look at 2-1.
	They're talking about us in Glasgow.
	Everyone keeps sending me this Scottish guy, and he is a genius, and I love my people, but I hate that he reads.
	I'm done with people reading me something they wrote.
	I can read too.
	I'd rather watch him here on an interview where he's not reading.
	Extraordinary.
	It's so ironic in a way that his own father was the last person in Canada to do anything remotely similar in an earlier iteration of the Emergency Powers, the War Measures Act.
	And he invoked it in the face of the October crisis, so-called, in 1970, when a group of independence-seeking terrorists trying to set up a socialist independent state in Quebec had kidnapped politicians.
	Now, is he fee Glasgow or just Reference?
	Actually, I'm not sure.
	It's from Scotland.
	As that drama unfolded, Trudeau Sr. invoked these War Measures Act.
	And the irony that his son is doing something similar in the face of peaceful protesters who are putting up bouncy castles and offering saunas and free food to families who have gathered to ask for freedom just seems,
	well, I think we live in a topsy-turvy world at the moment.
	And I think Justin Trudeau, you mentioned Justin Ardern in New Zealand, obviously Emmanuel Macron in France.
	I think this is, it's not about health now.
	It's about saving face.
	Yes, yes.
	I think there are a lot of people.
	Another thing, too, he's talking about the Quebec Separatists back in 1970 where the War Measures Act came into being.
	And they weren't just being rude.
	They didn't have bouncy castles in 1970.
	They were murdering people.
	They were kidnapping politicians.
	They blew up a building.
	They killed an English security guard.
	Philip Villeneuve, the head of the FLQ, said that his only regret was he didn't kill more English people.
	He only got one.
	So there was an argument for the War Measures Act back then.
	That was back in 1970.
	The Black Panthers are big.
	AIM.
	It was the hot thing to do.
	Weather Underground was blowing up buildings.
	The boomers had decided to blow shit up.
	And now they're in power, or their sons are, and they're enforcing that same kind of revolutionary behavior on modest, kind, reasonable citizens.
	Story that's not getting any attention in Canada that Justin Trudeau doesn't seem to have a problem with is the pipeline attacks.
	In BC, they're daring to try to get oil, gas from the ground, fuel, our own self-sufficient fuel.
	And that's not, we'd prefer to get our fuel from jihadists.
	So they are destroying all the equipment of the, what do you call them, miners?
	The fuel guys.
	Oil guys under attack.
	But look at some of these pictures, man.
	It looks like they hired a transformer to come and destroy the place.
	Optimus Prime is a green environmental activist.
	Look at this shit.
	Keep going, keep going, keep going.
	There's not a bunch more pics.
	Maybe there's a slideshow in that link.
	Yeah, maybe go to that one.
	It's intense, dude.
	I don't even know how they did some of this stuff.
	Like, the entire front of the trucks.
	Yeah, look at that in download image.
	Well, download image.
	The top left image there.
	How did you do that?
	Wait, whoa.
	What?
	Is that dynamite?
	Like, no, there's no...
	The pieces are all still there.
	They must have hijacked one of the cranes or tractors, then picked up the other ones and dropped them on their faces.
	So zero mention of that in the media.
	It's already gone.
	Which brings us to racism.
	Let's do the fucking racism thing.
	Well, don't worry.
	We'll come back to Canada and see if there's just more just dudes standing there.
	I'm a black female.
	What other different...
	What else could I have done to piss you off?
	Black woman?
	This is really inconvenient.
	Quintez Brown.
	Gone.
	Just like the pipeline, gone from the media, Quintez Brown has vanished.
	He's an anti-gun activist.
	He was on Joy Reed.
	And he decided to murder a Jew.
	A white Jew fucking scumbag.
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	Can you imagine if a mega dude is a well-known Louisville activist in jail tonight, accused of what police say is the targeted shooting of mayoral candidate Craig Greenberg?
	Hello, everybody.
	Thanks for joining us.
	I'm Doug Prophet.
	Just imagine tonight, Ravensworth has announced that they've arrested this man, 21-year-old Quintez Brown, for the shooting at Greenberg's Butchertown market office this morning.
	A police report just released moments ago says Brown was caught less than a half mile away from the Butchertown market.
	The report says from police that he had a look at the Immeter Magazine.
	Can you imagine if there was a Jewish liberal who was shot by a guy in a MAGA hat?
	I mean, he would get, like James Fields, when he killed Heather Heyer, he's obviously a bad man, and you shouldn't be murdering people in your car.
	He got 420 years plus life.
	Does that sound like justice to you?
	Or does that sound like an ethno-masochist state that hates itself and is so petrified of racism?
	We are anti-racist radicals here in America is what we are.
	We're not just not racist.
	We are anti-racist to the point of radical.
	And we have no problem with black people shooting anyone.
	They can kill each other to the tune of 20 a day.
	They can shoot a white liberal, I mean, sorry, a white conservative, and it's gone.
	The story doesn't exist anymore.
	And this is why I treat this show as entertainment, obviously, and we talk about what's going on, and we're the only place where you can be honest and talk to each other the way we talk in bars.
	But I also see this show as a time capsule.
	And I want my kids and other people to be able to come back.
	What's this bitch saying?
	Kim Potter sentenced to two years for killing Duante Wright.
	And the judge is giving her all the sympathy in the world.
	It really sounded like she was about to give her probation, but this is barely more than that.
	And now Duke Quintez Brown.
	Who was Duante Wright again?
	Duante Wright wasn't sitting there.
	He was reading a book in a park.
	He was coming at her.
	He was doing something bad.
	Oh, that was the woman who accidentally used her gun instead of a taser.
	Oh, yes, she thought she had her taser on.
	She lost her motor skills.
	By the way, this is an example of affirmative action, so Joy Reed should be staying away from it.
	But yeah.
	He was a criminal, lifetime thug, which is basically like picking a fight with cops on a daily basis.
	You're flipping a coin when you're picking a fight on a regular basis.
	And she lost your motor control, and she pulled out the wrong thing.
	That's not racism, you stupid bitch.
	Wait, 24 months?
	Oh, cool.
	That's not so bad.
	Well, it's manslaughter.
	It's dictionary definition manslaughter.
	I really believe there wasn't any fishiness with this.
	Like, people are saying, like, oh, you know, she knowingly did that.
	No, you'd have to be an absolute fucking moron like Joy Reed to think that that woman was like, I'm going to take out some Negroes tonight.
	Yeah.
	I'll just say Taser Taser as I shoot him.
	But let's spend a little more time on Quintez Brown because no one else is going to here in the time capsule.
	You can look back at February of 2022 and see the story that went nowhere.
	It was totally forgotten.
	But let's juxtapose him talking to Joyanne Reid about guns.
	3-0.
	Oh, wait.
	Yeah, there he is leaving the.
	He got bailed.
	BLM posted his bail.
	Let's hear him talk to Joanne Reid.
	Wait, go back, go back.
	The way they did the beginning of this is beautiful.
	They juxtaposed Quintez Brown on Quintez Brown in the two separate videos.
	Murder is Quintez Sports Brown.
	Fuck.
	You're not good.
	You're a bad man.
	You try it.
	And there's this thing where you have to press the pause and you have to press for the volume.
	Attempted murder is Quintess Sports Brown.
	It's interesting because David Hogg, one of the students from Parkland, made the point what humans need.
	We need common sense gun reform.
	Get rid of assault rifles.
	Come on.
	Kind of like she said with Yammer's F rating.
	If politicians still have an A rating by election day, like it's interesting because Dog, one of the students from Parkland, made the police.
	That's their heroes.
	You know, last week we did that everything is going to be all white.
	And Anthony and I were so mad about it that we stopped talking about it because we filled up all the time.
	I said we'll do the second half the next week, but we didn't.
	And I still did all this fucking research.
	So let's finish the trailer for everything's all white.
	So we're going to a green screen now.
	Oh, hell yeah.
	Okay, I don't think I sent it to you.
	You can dig it up, though.
	The trailer for everything's all white.
	Again, it's Sasha Jenkins, a guy I've known for 20 years.
	When we moved to New York, he was doing Ego Trip, a rap magazine.
	It was really cool and great design.
	I copied a lot of their design, actually.
	But he was always saying, yeah, you white boys from Canada come in here.
	We do all the work and then you get all the money.
	So people don't like black people in New York?
	They don't like rap?
	Is that what you're saying, you fucking dummy?
	They put up barely any issues.
	I think they did like four, they were around for four years.
	We would have been around already for 10 years and still going strong.
	So the reason Vice made more money than Ego Trip is because it had maybe 100 times the issues.
	Not because of racism, you fucking boob.
	Anyway, I think he's a talentless hack who has just been a grifter.
	And he does this whole thing where America's racist.
	And I'm having this realization this week where I realize that's the new shucking and jiving.
	The new minstrel show is blacks calling whites racist.
	You know why?
	Because whites love it.
	I don't know why.
	They used to like it when you wore white gloves and said, mommy, how I love you, how I love you.
	Now they like it when you go, everything sucks because of white people.
	And then we all clap and laugh like fucking Taneshi Coates when he goes, I don't think I know.
	As he's saying that, a giant stadium of white people are clapping hysterically at their own privilege.
	It's depraved.
	It's masochistic.
	It's cock Central.
	Anyway, so we've already gone through the first half of this, right?
	Let's press play.
	Can we make it to here?
	Happened like multiple times.
	Okay, stop.
	So I think that's where we left off.
	And the Indian was saying, we've already had the end of the world.
	And that's a valid point.
	We know we warred with you for 400 years.
	Eventually we won.
	You fucking killed our babies, raped us, you scalped us.
	You murdered us en masse.
	We murdered you en masse.
	That's what happens in wars.
	And eventually, by the grace of God, possibly, we won.
	And America's better off for it.
	You know, I've talked to Indians who don't like me and they go, I wish you people never came.
	And I'm like, what's your turn of events?
	Like, if no white man had ever come to America, can tourists come?
	Do you have passports?
	Is there money?
	What does it look like?
	Are the skyscrapers made of pine?
	Or is it still this pastoral universe of just beauty?
	Because you guys were massacring the living shit out of each other before we got here.
	Monster tribes like the Apaches who would not just murder you, but murder you after you were dead so you'd be fucked up in the afterlife.
	Mass graves.
	We discovered tons of mass graves from Indians massacring Indians.
	Anyway, but it's a valid contention that the Indians lost their culture, their world ended.
	Yes.
	Do I feel bad for that?
	I mean, the Nazis could say that.
	You know, the world ended for us Nazis in 1945.
	The Scots could say the world ended for us Scots when we finally lost all hopes of independence after about a thousand years of attacks.
	Everyone who didn't win had their end of the world.
	There could only be one winner in these scenarios.
	Sorry.
	Nazism was a form of tribal warfare, I guess, if you were to frame it that way too.
	The poor Nazis, they lost their, they had the end of the world in 1945.
	Symbols and monuments.
	These are not men.
	What was that?
	MAGA boy with American shorts dancing.
	Is that like...
	Wait, that was weird, dude.
	Correct.
	I think it's like.
	I think it was like white people are corny and ugly and the lighting is gross and they're just dorks.
	Emasculate.
	So you know what Sasha does?
	He's my age and he's bored of all this shit.
	So he just fucks around.
	Like this video is full of his friends.
	His wife's friends.
	This is all about dinner parties for him.
	Like Styles P. Styles P had one hit a million years ago, but he was bros with Sasha back in the ego trip days.
	So he's in here like he's an authority.
	Bring that sap through that.
	Sure.
	What about TC BY yogurt or something?
	Everybody can get behind.
	So take down statues with offensive backgrounds.
	I like Shraddh, but I'm glad he finally did this.
	You ever seen one VH1?
	It's always just white.
	I just smoked weed cotton mouse.
	Bubbles in the bottom.
	Gross.
	Finally did it.
	That's good.
	All statues have to represent nothing but noble greatness with zero impact.
	Even when there is someone genuinely noble and almost Christ-like, like fucking Roosevelt, standing with the Indians.
	Nope.
	That has to be taken down.
	So all your statues have to represent modern politics and modern ideas of justice.
	They have to be perfect.
	But history was imperfect.
	And the argument I always get for this is they go, should there be statues of Hitler in Germany?
	And I go, yeah, sure, why not?
	There's statues of Mao all over China.
	Statues don't mean this person is perfect, you should worship them.
	They're a marker in history.
	They're a standing history book.
	And history has ugliness in it, which includes racism.
	Taking down those statues, all it does is burn a book.
	You're just taking information away.
	You're not erasing it.
	I don't know where we got this idea that statues mean I worship you and you're perfect.
	That's the way a little kid thinks, Sherrod.
	The truth has to be told about history.
	Stop.
	The truth has to be told about history.
	All our kids get in school is America was stolen from the Indians and all of our wealth was built on slavery.
	That's not true, but that's all we get.
	And then their argument is, stop hiding slavery.
	Stop hiding the massacre of the Indians.
	Have you been in a classroom recently?
	They won't fucking shut up about it.
	It's non-stop.
	And critical race theory is not finally uncovering slavery.
	It's blowing the doors off of that and making it even more intense and lying and saying that we were nothing but murderers and everything we have is stolen and all our wealth is a lie and we've always been racist and our entire country is built on this oppressor and oppressed Marxist dialectic.
	It's fucking mental patient shit.
	So what they're really doing is taking this stuff that's already wildly liberal and turning it into radical leftism.
	That's not telling the truth.
	That's taking a lie and exaggerating it further.
	For the record, when we got here, the Indians have been warning forever.
	We were just another tribe.
	We eventually won.
	And as far as slavery goes, yes, very bad.
	Very bad.
	But we didn't start it.
	We finished it.
	620,000 men died ending slavery.
	You're welcome.
	I'll take a thank you note.
	We have to make sure that these stories are told from our perspective.
	There's always hope.
	I like how the Proud Boys are ozone shit for being violent monsters.
	And they have black militants that are armed, and that's cool.
	Wait, is that the woman who I think it is?
	Is that Fabiana Rodriguez, who dresses up black and pretends she's Latin ex?
	Go ahead.
	This is a wild place, y'all.
	It's a wild place.
	Stop.
	Almost everyone in this trailer was abandoned by their black dad.
	Amanda Seal is abandoned by her black dad.
	She grew up white, but she does this Fake black accent.
	She does really white comedy too, like talks about emails and how don't do a reply all.
	They have Jameel Hill in this.
	Are we done, the trailer?
	Almost.
	They left out a lot of the people that I wanted to talk about.
	Jameel Hill from ESPN.
	She's the one who said Trump is a white supremacist.
	And if the Dallas Cowboys kneel, you should boycott the Dallas Cowboys.
	Now, I don't have a problem with saying that, but you're a sports commentator, so of course you're going to lose your job.
	Margaret Cho, of course, was a stupid Korean who said, they couldn't handle an Asian on TV because I don't look like them.
	Yeah.
	Koreans are less than half of 1% of the population.
	Asians back then were about 4% of the population.
	Sorry, your sitcom wasn't selling very well.
	My sitcom about being Scottish was not a big hit in Tokyo.
	And then we add Ibraham X, who is Henry Rogers, who is an anti-capitalist socialist, who makes $20,000 a talk.
	His real name is Henry Rogers.
	His dad was not absent.
	One pattern I noticed with these people is when their dad wasn't absent, their whole life is dedicated to bitching about racism.
	Actually, in every case, their job is dedicated to bitching about racism.
	That's what this whole trailer is.
	And in almost every case, they had been abused, abandoned, or hurt by black men.
	Like Tamika Mallory, who's part of the Al Sharpton Nan National Alliance, whatever it's called.
	What is it called again?
	National Action Network.
	Her fucking baby daddy was murdered by a black thug.
	And her number one problem is racism.
	I hate white people.
	Same with fucking Robin Quivers on Howard Stern.
	She's all about racism and how she grew up betrayed by whites.
	Her dad fucking raped her.
	No white people ever raped you.
	And then there's Nell Irwin Painter.
	Remember her?
	We talked about her.
	She was the one who said that those Indian kids, Dot, Not Feather, urinating on black girls from a hill, they were pissing on them in high school and calling them the N-word.
	She says they were enacting whiteness.
	And she's since stopped being a professor at some reputable school like fucking Harvard or some shit to pursue painting, possibly because her last name is Painter.
	I just want to show you one of her paintings, Ryan.
	I included it in the email.
	She's incredibly talented.
	Here's a self-portrait that Painter did.
	This is the kind of brain that thinks that Indian kids picking on black kids is white racism.
	And I'm going to keep talking until this picture appears.
	It could be a little while here.
	Must have been sent separately.
	It was in the email.
	Under green screen, I see no such thing, but I will keep looking.
	Oh, well, I was pretty sure it should be right next to Tamika Mallory.
	Maybe I deleted it by accident?
	We'll show that when I sit back down again.
	And then the last chick you had is Fabiana Rodriguez, a rich girl from Peru who came here and went, oh, what's the thing here?
	Racism, bitching about racism?
	Okay, well, I'm Latinx and I'm gay, and I'm going to do a bunch of black power pictures, which I guess I didn't send you either.
	A black fist.
	You see, yeah.
	You better hope I'm the one wrong here.
	The boss is allowed to be wrong.
	It's true.
	Okay, let's finish the trailer.
	So unfortunately, most of the people I want to attack aren't even in this trailer.
	What a shit show this was.
	Frederick be up there just like, what is they gonna do?
	That's a fake voice.
	That's not how she talks.
	What is they gonna do?
	Oh, what is they gonna do?
	I got it.
	I thought I was looking for a.
	Wait, what were you looking for?
	Like a link.
	So you didn't see the giant picture in your face?
	No, there were two small things if you scroll to the bottom, and then you have to click on them.
	Okay, so that's, well, you should be familiar with the way your male works now.
	That's the Latinx rich girl from Peru.
	That's all she draws.
	It's like these crude, stupid black power cartoons, even though she's as white as the day is long.
	And previously, that was what Nell Irwin Painter put together, her self-portrait.
	Go back, one?
	Look at that.
	It looks like a piece of shit.
	It's fucking garbage.
	This is how she does it.
	Could you be less talented, please?
	What is that?
	Is this a marker?
	Like, if you, hey, have a hobby.
	You're old.
	But don't ever show anyone that if that's how you draw yourself.
	If I drew that of you, I would lose my job.
	Anyway, unturned stone there.
	We had to finish that.
	Let's stop talking about racism.
	I'm bored of it.
	Anything that's bad for me.
	You're killing me.
	You're killing me.
	Fun stuff.
	Oh, we didn't talk about Forbidden America.
	The Louis Thoreau thing.
	I promised we'd cover that.
	We have to now.
	Let's take a brief look at it.
	Now, what I sent you, I don't think it's playable.
	BBC Player only works in the UK.
	Sorry.
	It's a rights issue, Mike.
	But maybe you can find it on YouTube.
	So Baked Alaska and Nick Fuentes said yes to Louis Thoreau.
	I talked to their people, and I just went, I'd been contacted by Chelsea Handler and Louis Thoreau around the same time.
	And Proud Boys were the villains.
	This was pre-Jan 6.
	And I thought, no, I don't trust you.
	And I've noticed that the media's take on Louis' documentary, which some say was fair, is white nationalist exposed by Louis Thoreau.
	They deny it and try to hide behind humor.
	So you make some jokes, you don't censor them, and the allegation is you're using it as a Trojan horse to hide your racism.
	So you can't win with these people, which is why I said no to Louis's people.
	Because he is those people.
	And the definition these days of racism is if you don't hate white people and think that they've done horrible things to the world, then you're a white nationalist.
	And if you don't put black people on a pedestal, then you're an anti-black racist.
	In other words, if you don't hate whites just because of their race and love blacks just because of their race, you're a racist.
	Orwell predicted this.
	Topsy-turvy town.
	Fucking losers.
	It's just a given that AFPAC is a white nationalist conference.
	So if that's the case, then you should buy tickets for it as a journalist and interview Bryson Gray, Candace Owens, Michelle Malkin, John Miller, and other black, white nationalists.
	Shouldn't that be the front page of fucking Rolling Stone?
	Didn't Nick say don't ever do these because when you do it, it looks like you're agreeing with what they say?
	Like, what is this headline?
	A sinister warning about the far right.
	Yeah, Nick Fuentes is going to kill everyone.
	He's really sinister.
	Torea has made an essential film that shows how worried we should be about the internet fringes infecting the mainstream.
	We've got the mainstream journalists right now as we speak justifying a police state.
	And we're worried about what might happen if people listen to Nick Fuentez.
	Maybe.
	So let's ignore the destruction of America right before us on the off chance that baked Alaska might lead to someone getting hurt somewhere.
	Maybe another Heather higher.
	That would bring the death toll to two.
	Fuck the 20 black people that are going to get killed today.
	Can you find a trailer or something?
	Maybe a trailer here.
	Well, I assume that's what you were looking for.
	We're trying to find a way to view it and trick it into the...
	Ryan, it's an hour and a half documentary.
	We're not going to watch it on the show.
	So we really just need sort of a teaser, which I've seen many of.
	So these are probably British players on British.
	You were just on the evening standard.
	So I personally wouldn't go to a site we've already been on, and I would maybe try YouTube and look up trailer.
	No?
	Am I crazy?
	Anyway, that's enough racism for one day.
	We'll just briefly look at that.
	I got a baby monster saying, you should have spoken to them.
	He's really fair.
	I don't agree.
	I don't agree.
	It's up to them what they put in.
	And especially with me, with the Gavin McInnes show, they've got thousands of hours to take my worst joke.
	Look what they did to Joe Rogan.
	He said a racist joke.
	He said, I went to see Planet of the Apes and I ended up in Planet of the Apes.
	That's a racist thing to say.
	So fucking what?
	It's a joke.
	If we had the same standards for black people when they said, I went to see Attack of the Albinos, I ended up in Attack of the Albinos.
	Everyone would laugh.
	Look at fucking Quintez Jones there.
	He shot a dude, Quintez Brown.
	He shot a dude.
	It's gone.
	Erased from history.
	So that's all I care about is the fucking double standard.
	And that was big with Roger Ailes, by the way, at Fox.
	He always said, just reverse the races and see if it's outrageous.
	And it always is.
	Okay, what's this?
	Enjoy racist humor and misogyny.
	I think that's awesome.
	I think we need more racist jokes, to be honest.
	Isn't there some part of you that thinks that's not really where I want to be?
	Brand new.
	Louis Faroux Forbidden America.
	Thiru coming soon to BBC2 and iPlayer.
	So he's just shooting the shit.
	They had Brittany Venti on.
	It's a supposed to be hip piece.
	It's extremely inept.
	Fentis comes off looking great, intelligent, articulate, and self-confident.
	Big Delaska looks pretty good too, buffoonish and insincere, but also self-confident non-message.
	Before watching this, I knew Beardson Beardly only by his reputation, which is terrible, but I can't really criticize how he handles Thoreau.
	He patiently endures Thoreau until it becomes obvious he's just a jerk, then throws him out.
	Humiliated Thoreau gets revenge by playing a clip of the big loser, however, is Louis Thoreau himself.
	This time, it's no more Mr. Nice Guy.
	Thoreau hectors and badgers as interviewees.
	The mask of respect is discarded.
	See, that's what I hate about Louis Thoreau.
	The mask of respect, the playing dumb.
	Oh, hello.
	Well, don't you think that's...
	And it works when he's in like a maximum security prison and he's talking to a serial killer or he's with some radical Klansman who's like hanged black people.
	It works when he's talking to freaks like the fucking Fred Phelps, the gays are all going to die, God hates fags guy.
	It works then, because you are smarter than them.
	But you're not smarter than everyone in America, you arrogant British prick.
	The arrogant liberal jerk is fully on display.
	It isn't pretty, nor is it formidable.
	Fuentes and company easily parry Thoreau's challenges, making him look inept, but Thoreau is not the only one being humiliated.
	With his dorky persona, wretched posture, slovenly clothes, and middlebrow smugness, Louis Thoreau is the embodiment of the international bugman.
	His humiliation is their humiliation.
	He really let down the team.
	I don't know who that's written by, the left or the right, but I like it.
	So you don't have a trailer or something?
	I mean, I should have dug one up.
	Countercurrence Review.
	I don't know what Countercurrence is, but they sound based.
	No Twailer.
	Okay, well, we're wasting time here.
	Don't miss.
	Maybe I can.
	I'm feeling bad about download.
	Oh.
	Download it, man.
	I'm trying to go to the dog web.
	Oh, no.
	I thought there'd be YouTube trailers.
	There's only two adverts.
	Theroux.
	Louis Theroux.
	What did he throw?
	Okay, let's get to the mailbag, shall we?
	We shall.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes together.
	Let me touch it.
	It's our equivalent of commercial breaks.
	You need Ryan, shut up.
	If this thing is out of batteries, I'm suing the FBI for draining my batteries with their stupid plug.
	Oh, I sent you that thing that I got in the mail.
	We're very low.
	Okay, now I gotta go get a power outlet.
	Pull up that thing.
	Okay, I'm pulling it up, and it is pulled.
	And here we have a thing.
	Read it.
	Okay, let's rotate this sucker.
	It says, I've enclosed evidence that implicates Joe Biden in the crimes of Hunter Biden.
	A recent U.S. Senate report cites our work for helping uncover this explosive scandal.
	I've enclosed excerpts for you to read.
	With your help, we'll finish the job, blow up the scandal powder keg Joe Biden's sitting on.
	Please act today.
	Nancy is, Mr. Noy, I urgently need your support to expose President Biden and his son, Hunter Biden's corruption, immediately.
	I've paid the postage on the enclosed document safety mailer so that it will get back to me in 96 hours.
	Very specific.
	The Southeastern Legal Foundation.
	It's like, are you trying to trick me into opening this?
	Because I'm not falling for it.
	I'm a soccer food you.
	Okay, let's get started, shall we?
	Oh, I believe we shall.
	How do we feel about that green screen?
	I'm feeling a little insecure.
	Well, I mean, it did need a conclusion of sorts.
	None of the people I was bitching about are in the, but that's when you look up the cast, it's those people.
	And they're all frauds.
	Maybe as an anti-racist, I don't like these shows because I don't like blacks doing a minstrel performance.
	And bitching about racism in 2022, the only people that are interested in it are rich whites.
	So you're shucking and driving for rich whites.
	And I don't like that.
	Not dignified.
	Hey, let's tune back in on the Canadians.
	All right.
	Metro.
	Real slow today.
	Real slow.
	Slow day.
	Taking a while.
	Taking a long while.
	Dude, come on.
	No, go to the live feed.
	The same live feed that we've been watching all day.
	Not every single Twitter report.
	Might have concluded it was one of those.
	Okay, well, let's click on one of those then.
	But is that not live anymore?
	5,000 views.
	No, that's not live, I don't think.
	Well, that's standing around.
	When I interrupted myself this morning, I wanted to see some cops cracking skulls.
	Oh, it's possible when they wrap it up.
	It's not available for replay?
	It was right on this feed.
	They must have wrapped it up.
	Let me see if I could find a replay.
	Well, just go to Twitter in general.
	And I'm sure if you check the newest moments, then you can see what's going on.
	I shouldn't have to tell you all this stuff, though.
	So you go to Twitter, you go to Explore.
	I'll do it.
	I'll just do it.
	It seems to have left the trending page.
	Trudeau Tyranny still has a hashtag.
	And when you click on that, it's all just news.
	So I think they're just going to stand there until everyone...
	I don't know.
	That's how they got...
	America had a revolution to get rid of the British.
	We Canadians just bored them to death and they eventually just left.
	Is that what they're trying to do?
	Just stand and hope everyone leaves?
	Okay, so no new news on that front.
	Let's get back to the mail.
	We have The Calico Wall.
	I'm a Living Sickness.
	Hey, I hadn't heard of this song until Henry Rollins played on KCRW a few weeks ago.
	Do you know it?
	Okay, let's check out a new tune that has been sent in.
	Okay, copying and pasting.
	Thanks for the links, folks.
	Appreciate you.
	Mine is a hyperlink you just click on.
	Huh.
	Jump in the middle.
	All right, whatever.
	Thanks.
	Maddie and Gavin, what is love?
	Oh, it's beautiful.
	Come on, Ryan.
	What the fuck's going on today?
	I don't remember doing it.
	Did we do that last night?
	Yeah, right after you got identical teeth surgery.
	Did you remember that part?
	Yeah.
	But then you drank because you were like, oh, it hurts.
	And then you...
	Wait, we did another song after that.
	You don't remember any of this?
	No.
	I must have been drunk.
	After Maddie did his.
	Listen to our harmony.
	It's perfect.
	Dude, when I'm drunk, I am an amazing singer.
	I don't remember anything, but I'm an incredible singer.
	He did his blurry things.
	And you were like, well, I want to sing too.
	And then so you did.
	And we have a bunch of leftover super chaz also.
	Like this one here.
	Gavin, you're my daddy.
	Daddy, Sam Hyde is my mom.
	I'm a child of divorce.
	Living without a dad makes you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Trying to be a dad makes her a shitty mom as well.
	So I got to choose my parents, and I've chosen you.
	Sam Hyde is my parents.
	Okay.
	Cool.
	Congratulations.
	Hey, guys, any advice?
	I sent you an email.
	I called a difficult situation.
	I'm also on hold.
	This is my last attempt.
	Uh-oh.
	He's had enough.
	Okay, well, we're in the mailbag, so this is pretty.
	So let's look it up.
	What's a difficult situation?
	Desperately need advice.
	And then it says, I'm in a very difficult situation.
	Jason, yeah, the same guy.
	Oh, man.
	It's not called a difficult situation.
	That's right.
	That's correct.
	It's called desperately need advice.
	It's true.
	I'm in a very difficult situation.
	I recently looked up my old friends after being out of touch with them for many years.
	One of the guys I looked up, I'll call him Floyd, immediately responded to my Facebook messages.
	I knew his ex-girlfriend is I was friends with her, blah, blah, blah.
	Again, big, long fucking preamble I don't give a shit about.
	I no longer speak to her, but he has a kid from his marriage authority.
	He's also raising three of his current girlfriends, autistic children, whose father recently passed away.
	I don't care.
	So he's raising four kids, okay?
	Anyway, I mentioned to him that his ex had a hot sister and lamented the fact I never got a chance to hook up with her.
	He instantly sent me a message that said, I molested her.
	And then a video clip showed up, a close-up of Han pulling a girl's panties to the side and fingering her.
	He then messaged me, she was asleep.
	Don't tell anyone.
	How old was she?
	This is his hot sister.
	So he molested his hot sister.
	I was shocked.
	This is not the first time this guy has put hands on a pastel friend.
	He's bisexual.
	This one's pretty easy, dude.
	Call the fucking cops.
	Send them that evidence.
	We have a rapist afoot.
	This isn't a secret like you stole a box of cherries.
	This is a secret like you raped a chick.
	So rat him out.
	Snitch on your friend.
	Jesus Christ.
	Like, why do you need me to tell you that?
	Anytime you hear about any kind of rape, you fucking rat the guy out.
	Obviously.
	Scotty Marr 10.
	Hey guys, we got that guy who are also high school teachers.
	Get fired.
	Tell the truth.
	Tell both sides.
	Sure, you can say critical race theory.
	You can also say the truth, which is that we eventually won this land in a very long, protracted war.
	And if that gets you in shit, that gets you in shit.
	Old Biker Tale from Addie, my father, along with a few friends, were on tour to the U.S. back in the 80s.
	My dad was a big fan of no helmet law in some states.
	I'm sure there were a lot more back in the 80s.
	Mount St. Helens erupted while they were on the road.
	Do you know of any old-timers that expect?
	Where did that go?
	Expect.
	Guys got to abide by the...
	You know what we're thinking of doing?
	This story sucked, by the way.
	How boring can you get?
	My dad liked not wearing a helmet.
	Okay.
	We're going to do a character count so that way you can't exceed and chop off your message.
	Also, people who donate more will have more character count.
	Would the 22-year-old chick in the eight-year-old's body be the one insurance where we would advocate presumably big fucking fake tits?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's a good solution.
	I'm a shittier Catholic than you are, and highly recommend you read The Flying In by G.K. Chesterton for Lent.
	It's about the UK becoming influenced by Islam under PM, similar to Trudeau, and written over 100 years ago.
	Okay?
	We'll get to that presently by and by.
	I'm only reading these because they paid money and it's going to charity.
	Please play the who, how many friends on YouTube and read those lyrics.
	This is blowing up on the chat.
	Very gay.
	Okay, we'll check that out some other time.
	Friends.
	Bless you.
	Gavin, you surround yourself with short people subconsciously so that you would feel less short.
	Also, if you're malnourished, your kids can still be tall.
	Good point.
	We've got a proud boy newborn.
	Congrats to Adam No Wanks and the birth of his son Adam today.
	Brown Chad.
	Happy birth.
	I know Brown Chad.
	He's a New Yorker.
	Oh, yeah, great guy.
	I'm a shittier Catholic than you are.
	Okay.
	Super fags.
	And hey, Maddie, have you heard any of Bone Benjamin calling these gay truckers gay?
	Just want to get your Jew adjacent thought on that.
	Cheers.
	No, I haven't heard that.
	Who has time to follow all of these different people?
	Like, Tucker's on every night.
	Then there's Own Benjamin.
	Then there's our own network, AIU.
	Just listen to censored.tv.
	There's a handsome boy tells me how I changed the past.
	He buys me a brandy, but it could be he's really just after my ass.
	Whoa.
	He likes the clothes I wear.
	He says he likes a man who's dressed in season, but no one ever stares.
	He's being so kind.
	What's the reason?
	How many friends have I really got?
	That's what I think.
	When someone's nice to me in a bar, I think, do you want to fuck me?
	Or do you just like me because I'm famous?
	Like, how many of these people that come up and ask for selfies would like to lick my balls?
	Is that what goes on in your head, Pete?
	Gay.
	Could it be he's really just after my ass?
	What a weird thing to think.
	I'm also a fan of classic style, but I have a dilemma.
	Are suspenders still cool?
	Feel better than belts, but I feel like when I wear them, I look like a 33-year-old Amish virgin.
	I think suspenders.
	Are you wearing suspenders today, Ryan?
	Today, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, you need good shoulders to pull them off.
	I look like Grover trying to create a shoulder where there isn't one.
	But yeah, I think suspenders will always be in vogue.
	Are we done with these yet?
	I'm pretty sure there's a deficiency in the poll results because no one can find easily where little monsters.
	Where's my dad at?
	Go back one.
	Nick Kerr.
	I thought you said there's five of these.
	We had read that one already.
	That was a repeat.
	Scottish-Irish Foods is what happens when you combine drunkenness and famine.
	Don't blame Lorraine.
	By the way, my mother's name is spelled wrong because my grandfather didn't give a shit about her.
	So her name is spelled L-O-R-A-I-N-E, the only one in the world.
	That's just the history of her heritage.
	You got a story about nodding out on heroin at a dinner with David Cross that ended with you vomiting all over the place.
	What's your best meth story?
	We did it once by accident.
	We came to New York from Montreal.
	We were trying to buy ecstasy.
	And, you know, when you're not from that town, you're not going to get a good dealer.
	And I was up for three days.
	I was possibly the funniest I've ever been.
	People were just dying.
	Sorry, no way in hell I'll be able to bang Buck Angel.
	Just give me the option to suck on trans boobs.
	Now, you can't change the ultimatum, dumbass.
	You have to make love to Bailey J. You have to put your dink in his bum bum.
	You think you're going to suck the tits and we're going to let you go?
	What are you, a chick?
	I'd rather fuck neither of them.
	Gav, have you seen the adults whom?
	Yeah, Smiling Friends, it's really good.
	Oh, they have a scary Perry episode?
	You want me to look it up?
	Yeah.
	A Scary Perry episode.
	Scary Perry is the greatest thing in the world.
	And I think a problem people have with it is they're not used to seeing this level of greatness.
	So what they do is they go, this is fake.
	He's in on it.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	I understand you thinking that.
	It's too perfect.
	But I know the man very well.
	I've been to his home many times.
	I've urinated on his towels when I used his bathroom.
	I stole a bunch of shit from him.
	I still have it.
	He keeps everything.
	So you know those dumb credit card offers you get?
	He puts those, he files those away in his filing cabinet.
	So I have ton of those.
	I have all his business cards.
	He always has business cards, even though he does no business.
	I'm Simon Asalty, and I built this very restaurant with my own two hands.
	And together with my funny mascot friends, we work hard to give you the most quality.
	The Supreme, to give you that quality Salty's experience.
	Unfortunately, the United States FDA is the my food unquote hazard late to 15 deaths in the past four months alone?
	Although, I'm rolling out some new and improved menu items.
	Come on, Vatalia.
	You can try my new cucumber deluxe.
	The Super Green Ball.
	And my personal favorite...
	Salty sourdough bread bust!
	So come to Salty's and get you new and improved menu items today!
	Come on!
	Hmm, first things first, how many exits does this place have, Ketchup?
	We have been having arguments about the new healthy menu.
	I just knew it was going to cause problems for the restaurant.
	Hmm, sounds like you were quite angry at Salty then.
	We were spending all day draining the rotten salt.
	I like how when Perry Axio is like, I'm running out of time.
	I'm running out of time.
	Like, he has to do sign language for everything he's saying.
	He's Italian, talking with his hands.
	Yeah.
	I'm De Niro, baby.
	What?
	So salt and pepper did it?
	You know who turned me on to Smiling Friends is our own Crypt Daddy.
	Oh.
	I think they just...
	Now they're on HBO Max or something like that?
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	I hope Tim Heidecker and fucking Vic Berger don't get them canceled for hiding swastikas in the backdrop.
	All right, let's go to the final video.
	Aha.
	Did we catch up on all of those?
	No.
	How many are left?
	There are...
	You said there was five.
	I lied.
	There's more.
	This has been a bad day for you, my friend.
	How many are there?
	One, two, four.
	About 13.
	Counting this one.
	We don't have time.
	I'll have to do it another day.
	Let's get to the final video.
	Speaking of Perry, the Venn diagram of...
	Oops, shut up, Hillary.
	The Venn diagram of all things wonderful has coalesced once again.
	And we have Scary Perry and Kartnark becoming friends.
	How great is this?
	You know, one thing I love about Perry, too, is his body language.
	Did you notice in that Smiling Friends thing?
	He was kind of stumbling?
	Like, he can't just stand still.
	I think he's on fucking handfuls of medication.
	He's got that giant fanny pack just full of meds.
	He's a pillhead.
	He probably does Adderall and a Downer at the same time.
	We've watched this already?
	Yes.
	That's why people kept sending me, hey, just letting you know, Cartnark said this wasn't fake.
	Yeah.
	Well, so you're whispering to me that we've already watched this.
	Yes.
	On your bad day.
	Yes.
	This is a day where you've been fucking up relentlessly all day.
	Correct.
	So the odds are that you telling me we've already watched this is also a fuck-up.
	Maybe.
	That would be pretty typical of today's behavior.
	Oh, look at that.
	A half curving.
	Really worried?
	That's not where the cards go, sir.
	Well, you should, because they won't.
	Shut your mouth, punk.
	What does the sign say on the card return?
	Please return cards here.
	Yeah, and the cards right there.
	So it doesn't say please return cards there.
	You're going to have to put magnets.
	This is new.
	Okay, so you fucked up again.
	Yes.
	All right.
	Just making sure.
	A shame, sir.
	Now, sir.
	I will, as soon as you return to the car.
	Let's pause again.
	How would you think that I don't remember already covering Kartnark and Scary Perry?
	Especially when I said in the intro, I said, again, my favorite two things have coincided.
	Well, when you say, again, my favorite things have coincided, that could mean that this has happened in the past.
	Two things that you loved coincided previously.
	Well, no, I said Scary Perry and Kartnark together again.
	Okay.
	Pretty clear.
	So, just to get this.
	Just to be clear, Ryan's never wrong.
	So he's about to explain why him fucking up again wasn't his fault and it's my fault.
	No, no, no.
	Now I'm asking.
	Is this a separate occurrence or this is a separate occurrence?
	Oh.
	Would you like a magnet instead?
	Now, sir, they're going to.
	Get your fucking shit off my fucking car.
	As soon as you take your car.
	Get the fuck out of here, motherfucker.
	Why are you pretending?
	Get the fuck out of here.
	I'll beat your fucking ass.
	Sir, no, you won't look at yourself.
	Where's Harry Carabelle alive?
	Look, sir.
	My show.
	Did he say my show?
	Did he just say my show?
	Sir.
	No, he's like, shut up.
	Sir.
	Let me give you two because you're being such an angry bones.
	Angry bones.
	Perry is releasing his armbar, so he doesn't see those particular magnets.
	The flag is the winner.
	Double magnets and the flag.
	Watch out behind you, sir.
	What a jerk face.
	Please be careful.
	Don't be in.
	I can't hear you.
	Look, he's finally noticed the flag.
	Has he?
	He's in.
	There we go.
	And then when he gets out, he sees the magnets.
	How'd you just take your card back?
	Oh, this is falling off.
	Get the fuck off my fucking clock.
	As soon as you push your card back, sir.
	Fuck yourself!
	Now, sir, they pay employees.
	I'm giving you a line.
	I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!
	No, you aren't.
	How old are you, sir?
	I'll beat your fucking ass!
	Sir!
	Look.
	I'll beat your fucking ass!
	They pay employees, sir!
	So easy to make mad.
	Do you go to the bathroom?
	Do you lock your keys in your car?
	Do you go to the bathroom, and when you go to jerk off a guy in the bathroom, do you do it in the sink and toilet or do you wait for the employees to come?
	No, you do it in the sink and toilet because that's where it belongs.
	You can't get it off.
	What the fuck did you do to me?
	I just put a magnet on your car to display what lazy bones you are.
	Get the fuck out of here!
	A double toss.
	Here you get more.
	Get the fuck out of here!
	Sir, you get the F out of here.
	There's another one for you.
	Please be careful driving, sir.
	If he ever gets arrested, he's going to have all this footage of him being very polite, and it won't stand up in a court of law.
	All right, folks.
	TGIF.
	Tomorrow or Monday, we have TGMS as I'll be in Nashville with Gina Bontempo, Candace Owens' manager, and my old buddy Mike Lerner, who has been a baby monster since before we were called baby monsters.
	And then we'll be back Tuesday to do a normal show, next week's normal.
	Then we're off to AFPAC.
	But that's, yeah, Friday, I guess, will also be a repeat.
	A lot of repeats.
	Not repeat, but the old show coming back.
	Rerun of sorts.
	Have fun this weekend, guys.
	Enjoy yourselves.
	Yeah.
	Fucking party on, Wayne.
	And if you are going to get wasted, please get as drunk, get drunk as late as possible and eat meals.
	I know you always say, I'm going to drink water.
	You never drink water.
	So let's give up on that.
	But at least try to cram some pizza in your mouth at some point so your hangover is not crippling the next day.
	And also, like, if you're doing Coke or you're doing shots late at night, just pause and go, do I really want this shot?
	Do I really need this bump?
	Or is my buzz just fine the way it is?
	You don't have to put more colors on a painting that's finished.
	Once the painting's done, stop getting wasted.
	So get out there, talk to people.
	Remember, everyone is interesting.
	Be a little chatterbox.
	Ask some questions.
	Take your mask off.
	And if they demand that you're vaccinated, lie.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.

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