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Jan. 28, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:25:44

S04E81 - ENJOY YOUR FANTASIES

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	That is a Japanese band, so I obviously know nothing about it, and Ryan obviously knows everything about it.
	Ryan, who is that?
	Sure.
	It's like I don't know how to say it, but it's like punk.
	It's like a punk band?
	Like a punk rock.
	And I listened to that whole song earlier.
	It doesn't seem to have verse, chorus, verse structure.
	It just seems like a bunch of music.
	Yeah, they don't feel like a linear.
	Like a lip.
	Sorry.
	Like a linear.
	Are you nervous?
	Don't be nervous, dude.
	They don't feel like a linear structure.
	A what structure?
	Like a liminal order.
	Liminal order.
	Oh, like Jack Murphy's thing?
	Yeah, like a Jack Lurley.
	Oh, who?
	Jack Lurley?
	So they abbreviate name, so like how print, you know, for Americans.
	So it's like MCZ is a cold.
	Like themselves.
	And they do theme music for like Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball, Pokemon.
	So like they're pretty well known.
	Okay.
	It's an all-female group.
	You can hear.
	I saw a lot of dudes, but the music is girls.
	What?
	When the video, there's a lot of dudes, but it's just a video.
	Who knows?
	Oh, yeah, no, that's just the people.
	Just the people?
	Just people.
	So that's pretty much it.
	That's enough.
	We've got a fun show today.
	You know, I was thinking about this show and what makes it unique.
	And I think what makes it unique is I speak, we speak, you speak on this show the way we talk in bars.
	So when you see, there's a lot of cripples in this episode.
	When you see a cripple, you don't go, haha, you're a loser.
	But you also don't go, hey, there's a person just like me that just has a chair with wheels.
	You think sexual thoughts like, do they fuck?
	Does their dick work?
	Stuff like that.
	Or when you see lesbians and then one of them had her tits cut off, you don't go, oh, that's a heterosexual couple.
	You go, oh, there's a lesbian.
	That's sad.
	They're cutting their tits off.
	What the fuck's going on with that?
	I think most of us are Walt Kowalski in Gran Torino.
	And Walt Kowalski seems racist.
	He seems like a bigot.
	He seems like a jerk.
	But at the end of the day, he'll die for you, including his Hmong neighbors.
	Spoiler alert.
	So we're going to get to that.
	But before we do, I have a new, I have a few new things to talk about.
	Jackass Forever is out, and the chick in it is a 10.
	She's perfect.
	She's outside of my wife, obviously, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
	I'm madly in love with her.
	Rachel Wolfson is her name.
	Go to that thing.
	There she is.
	What a looker, huh?
	Jewie, definitely Jewie.
	Oh, is Wolfson a Jew name?
	I'm just looking.
	You know, I get kind of turned off when I hear that.
	Not because I care for a Jew, but I think she probably wouldn't marry me because her parents would have a heart attack.
	That's not lightweight.
	What are you guys talking about?
	Oh, that's...
	We're going to break his ribs.
	We're in this together, pop.
	What's the worst that can happen?
	You said it wasn't going to feel like anything.
	I just need you to like sit with my grandpa just because I'm going to smoke.
	You ain't a bunch of NASA scientists right now.
	Can you get a cold dude?
	Will you make him an actual coffee, Stephanie?
	Maybe another one.
	It's gotta be over, dude.
	I think we're all the way finished for screw.
	Stick a fork in it!
	Ooh!
	I hope they have this in 4D.
	What's going on?
	What just happened there?
	What do you mean?
	Nah, that would be cool.
	Because then you would get like the explosion effects.
	You get, there's like lots of effects out there.
	But the thing that really draws people to the 4DX experience is the sense, like the tactical sense, right?
	Touch, smell, air, water.
	Like wires.
	Wires?
	No, water.
	Water.
	But in the future.
	What's going on with your eyeball?
	What do you mean?
	Nothing.
	Okay.
	So in the future, they're actually going to involve an aromatic element to this, where you're going to be able to smell the sulfur of the explosions.
	You're going to be able to smell the grass, like in a green grass field.
	So that's what I'm looking forward to.
	Television.
	Very sweet.
	That was an SCTV sketch.
	Can you just Google image here so we can make sure that we're simping out for a good cause?
	Because Google images...
	I always said dating apps, you should have a picture of yourself at your best.
	So this is me at my best, unfortunately.
	And then you, like, when you just woke up and you're hungover and you have no makeup on, and it's like the ugliest picture imaginable of you looking down like, eh.
	And we see the range.
	Wouldn't that make sense?
	I'd happily do that if I was, but I'm a dude.
	I guess women don't want to show their worst.
	Do your worst.
	Now entering the simp zone.
	Zone.
	Zone, zone, zone.
	Fantastic.
	10.
	Uh-oh.
	What's wrong with that?
	I'm just curious, like, what do you think is wrong with that?
	I don't know.
	Ooh.
	That neck is looking a little old.
	I mean, that face, that's like a smoker.
	Love it.
	There's some age there, but, you know, is that bad?
	I don't know.
	Uh-oh.
	She's funny.
	Somebody's groping on your gal.
	That's fine.
	I'm married, so.
	Oh, right, right, right.
	You're allowed to fuck her.
	Hey, world.
	Go for it.
	You can officially fuck Rachel.
	Okay, that's enough talking about her.
	So I'm watching this show the other night, and I think it's on Hulu.
	No, it's on HBO, and it's somebody.
	Somewhere.
	Somewhere.
	Dude, there's a new kind of cinema that it's quirky, indie, boring, shitty pacing that is in like indie films and stuff and NYU film school films.
	Add a layer of homosexuality to that.
	Ooh, okay.
	And now it's mundane and quirky and self-indulgent and gay.
	So now it's gay in every sense of the word.
	And I'm watching this and I'm like, not only does this suck shit, I can't look away and I feel like it's begging to be parodied.
	It's so fucking corny.
	And the reviews are in.
	And because all the critics are like LGBTQ, they're just fawning over it.
	She's some fat comedian.
	I'm not even sure she's gay.
	But she's like this lovable gal who's moved back home and she's seeing all her old friends.
	And this is faggot friend of hers.
	Go back, go back, go back.
	There's lots of crying and stuff.
	Look at this.
	That's her best friend.
	You know what he looks like?
	Remember in Raiders of the Lost Ark where they opened up the ark and the guy's face was melting?
	That's the guy.
	That's the guy.
	Yeah.
	Post-face melt.
	Oh, this is great.
	It's like it was translated from another language.
	Well, look for me.
	Am I in there?
	I gotta be in there.
	Samantha's.
	You are in here.
	Oh, what's it say?
	What's it say?
	He kind of looks like a black guy dressed in white guy makeup.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like the white like me.
	Oh, this is a piece of shit.
	It is.
	It's a piece of shit.
	Are they reviewing the show in real time?
	Breaking the fourth wall?
	I mean, it takes like an hour to...
	I highly recommend you check this out, though, because it's like a different culture.
	It's like you're watching Turkish cinema.
	The pacing is so self-indulgent and dull.
	Dull, dull, dull.
	The new gay movement is like, I'm actually fascinating, and I'm going through all this crazy shit.
	Here.
	Whoa, she just told two young people to shut up.
	It's a coming-of-age story.
	Anyway, it doesn't lend itself to this sort of show.
	But if you got some free time and you're with some friends, and if you're stoned, I highly recommend you check out this show this weekend.
	It is worth a hate watch.
	It's fucking so bad.
	It's also funny if you're drunk, too.
	Speaking of homos, very homosexual episode.
	That tranny dude with the football shoulders, shoulders all men want.
	A woman has them.
	And he is kicking ass and taking names as far as competitive swimming goes.
	But he's also, well, as the news says, still attracted to women.
	Yeah, we used to call that a straight male.
	We're uncomfortable in our own locker room.
	Leah Thomas, UPenn teammate, tells how the trans swimmer doesn't always cover up her genitals, her male genitals.
	Okay, that's enough.
	Her male genitals.
	What are you doing?
	I'm not done.
	When changing and their concerns go ignored by their coach.
	In other words, he has a fucking boner.
	Boner, he's got a bone.
	Hello, cello.
	It's a boner.
	Are you surprised?
	The only person who predicted this would happen was a gentleman named Gavin McInnes, a banned, canceled, horrible Nazi on censored.tv who's literally Hitler.
	You put a healthy young American male in a room of gorgeous, fit young women.
	I'm going to predict an erection?
	Yep.
	That's what happened, Gav.
	How did you know?
	Magic.
	I used my crystal ball.
	And this coach, I actually feel sorry for the coach because the coach refuses to do anything about it.
	I would do plenty about it.
	But I guess the coach is like, I don't want my whole career and my children's career ruined.
	Like you'll be known as the anti-trans guy forever.
	No, I'm just kidding.
	I don't feel any sympathy for him.
	Get the dude out of the change room.
	War on children.
	Protect these girls.
	Also in the news, this has been going around.
	That fucking moron, Hassan Piker, went to Poland with all the money these people give him to give his terrible opinions.
	And as he looked around, he couldn't help but notice that everyone there is Polish.
	Poland really is as white as Stefan Molly Meme said it was.
	And then he adds, if you click on the picture, he adds, this is a bad thing.
	Okay.
	Can you give us your two cents on Zimbabwe and Tokyo and Seoul, Korea and Israel, please?
	Are they bad?
	No, it's only bad when white people, normal white people, dominate.
	Like, it's so funny that Poland and Hungary has stood up to globalism and all of these liberal cunts in America are attacking Hungary and Poland, like Tucker's Soros piece, and now the country itself.
	And all these people did was say, we'd like to Keep Hungary Hungarian and Poland Polish.
	There hasn't been an attack on Poland like this since the Blitzkrieg of Germany in World War II.
	They got trans filters on Snapchat.
	That's great.
	That's nice.
	That's not trans, that's drag.
	Oh, yeah, true, true.
	Isn't it all just drag?
	It's all drag.
	It's all LARPing.
	It's all a drag.
	What a drag it is, pretending to be a chick.
	My favorite drag phenomenon, of course, is female drag queens, which is just Tammy Faye Baker.
	Women wearing too much makeup.
	This women dressed in woman sauce.
	Let's check in on the cancel movement.
	Maybe that should be a new...
	Yeah, that should be a new card.
	Can you make us a card, folks at home?
	What a drag it is getting canceled.
	That's your music.
	I already have one in mind.
	Can it just be a big stamp that's like canceled, that goes over the screen, transparent?
	Yeah, punk.
	But with that song.
	Like advice for my do's and don'ts.
	I had a do's and don'ts.
	Well, this guy doesn't want to be canceled.
	This is Jamie Oliver.
	Got to say, man, my past few trips to Britain, they were really good food.
	They were really good food.
	No, the food was great.
	It was farm to table.
	Like Jamie Oliver changed the culture of America, probably saved millions of lives.
	He should be in a t-shirt.
	Even at the fucking airport, I'm having chicken from like down the street.
	The food was way better than America.
	And the joke used to always be how shit the food is in Scotland and England.
	But it was all great.
	I was eating gourmet Scottish food, which I didn't know was a phenomenon when I was at in Glasgow.
	I think it was called like the Haggis something.
	But it was like gourmet, haggis, gourmet, everything.
	Wait, was it called Filthy McNasty's or something?
	I don't can't remember.
	But so he's so worried about appropriating culture and doing the wrong thing that he has hired a cultural sensitivity person.
	Go back to that thing.
	Jamie Oliver now employs a team of cultural appropriation specialists.
	Professional chefs are too scared to cook.
	Can you stop scooching me around in the corner here?
	The knob drifted.
	The knob drifted.
	That's what I said when I got my wife breakfast.
	Go to the next one.
	He revealed the employees team after acknowledging some of his popular recipes of the past are no longer acceptable.
	Guys, just say no.
	Stop.
	You shouldn't be making egg rolls.
	Those are Chinese.
	Yeah, fuck you.
	Just say fuck you.
	I think it was that the dumplings came with a Coke with peepee in it.
	So they had to stop that.
	Like, everyone appropriates.
	That's what culture is.
	But in modern America, white males are the only ones who may, white straight males, are the only ones who may not appropriate.
	That's ridiculous.
	That's not what culture is.
	And by the way, there is no monoculture.
	There is no original thing.
	Egg rolls probably came from Arabia and the Mediterranean and all kinds of other facets.
	You look at the history of like noodles and it's fucking crazy how many people were involved in creating that thing.
	It's predominantly Chinese now, but all culture is a confluence of other cultures.
	The West took the best of everything and created the best culture in the world.
	But it's not like even Indians, like give the land back to the Indians.
	When we were in New Smyrna Beach there, they were talking about the Indians and how horrible it is what we did.
	And then they describe, I go, what Indians were taking over?
	Well, originally it was the Cherokee, and then it was the Simine, and then they were pushed out by the fucking Apaches.
	And you're like, oh, okay.
	So we were just yet another tribe, and we managed to make it stick.
	But this land, you can't give it back to the Indians because tons of different Indians had it.
	That's what history is.
	So he's a pussy.
	Claims the culture to be defensive and say, for the love of God, really?
	But then his thoughts turn to, well, we don't want to offend anyone.
	Yeah, you're a pussy.
	You just, we have to start saying no.
	In the old days, if you bombarded General Motors with letters and said, one of your employees is a dick, and he said, nigger, the boss would just throw the letters in the garbage.
	They go, okay, that's unfortunate.
	They use his rude words.
	Anyway, I got cars to make.
	Now they go, really?
	I'm not even going to verify it.
	And then when you find out the thing the person did, their sin, you go, uh, meh.
	For example, real housewife of Salt Lake City, this attractive little chinkie, I guess she's, what are Vietnamese?
	Gooks?
	Yeah.
	Hot gook.
	She's fired over resurfaced media posts.
	Now, you see something like that and you go, okay, what would the post be that would justify a firing?
	Like, I want blacks to go back to Africa and I'm working with a white nationalist cruise line in order to kidnap Negroes, put them on these, we're going to call them BIPOCs from now on.
	I hate BIPOC so much that I'm working with a white nationalist cruise line and they're going to kidnap BIPOCs in the middle of the night and put them on board.
	But that's kidnapping.
	That's illegal.
	So then you'd be firing someone for committing a crime.
	I hate all BIPOCs.
	Okay.
	That's bad for business, I guess.
	You know what I mean?
	Like you're waiting to see.
	I actually have my fingers crossed when I see these and I go, please be a bona fide real thing that's indefensible.
	And it never is.
	That's one of the most disappointing things.
	We can't participate in outrage.
	You've not been outraged genuinely in a while.
	Well, they had that Asian New York Times reporter who kept talking about killing white men and how I want old white men to die.
	Zero outrage there.
	That's racist.
	That's probably worth a firing.
	But let's see what she said.
	You look up her things, and they're always so benign.
	Wait, wait.
	It's always hard to find the thing, too, because the news sources are petrified of saying the thing because now they've said it.
	But this Fox News usually has the actual quote.
	I'm sick of people saying cops need more training.
	You had 18 years to teach your kids it's wrong to loot, steal, set buildings ablaze, block traffic, laser people's eyes, which the Antifa does, right?
	Overturn cars, destroy buildings, and attack citizens.
	Who failed who?
	Now, I've heard black leaders say this a million times back in the good old days of culpability.
	So, wait, go back to that.
	What the fuck is the issue here?
	She's not even saying a race.
	She could be talking exclusively about Antifa.
	The lasering people's eyes, blacks don't do that.
	That's Antifa.
	So she's talking about BLM, Antifa, all of the assholes who were destroying this country for the past two years during a pandemic.
	Like, how benign is that?
	If your priest said that at church, you'd be like, amen.
	Yeah.
	No one would be shocked.
	Okay, let's see the next horrible thing.
	Hundreds of blacks shot and many killed, including children, by other blacks every week.
	Correct.
	Over a thousand officers violently injured, some permanently by rioters.
	Boring fact.
	Anarchists riding in major cities every night, which has caused billions of dollars of destruction to private and public property.
	And you still think police officers are the problem?
	You are an idiot.
	This is the controversy, folks.
	These two quotes are considered firing offenses in Clown World.
	What the fuck?
	God forbid you should defend the police.
	Even Paw Patrol had to go off the air.
	Paw Patrol, no thank you.
	It glorifies police violence, don't you think?
	So dumb.
	This world is so dumb.
	Are you...
	What are you, like, 14?
	15?
	I lost count.
	You kind of look like Johnny Depp if he was a manshi-she.
	Yeah, right.
	Like, shitty nephew at Thanksgiving?
	Dude, try to get along with me.
	That's my kids.
	All my teenagers.
	Everything is gay and boring.
	Yeah.
	Everything.
	I swear to God, I could buy my teenagers a trip to space, and they'd be like, okay, wow.
	No gravity.
	I mean, you get this in a swimming pool.
	Actually, that's too much.
	I just go, hey, guys, are we having fun out here in space?
	Just maybe this.
	Take your picture.
	I don't know why I'm not allowed to be on my phone in outer space.
	Oh, my dad's taking me ziplining through the Zimbabwean jungle with tigers nipping at your ankles, but you're technically safe.
	And there's also fireworks at the end.
	We get to shoot guns.
	Interesting look into your subconscious and what they think is the funnest thing imagination.
	And rock music.
	Tigers nipping at your toes.
	Tigers nipping at your toes, you faggot.
	And last cancellation we'll discuss before we do a deep div is our friend.
	What's her name, Angela or something?
	Alina.
	Fired after racist post-surface.
	Wow.
	Resurface.
	God, she's a very attractive lady despite having many mouses, arms, and legs.
	What's the opposite of a butterface?
	A waterface.
	So her first post is, okay, this is very funny and weird and it can happen only in Russia.
	But I got invited on Russian Facebook to Nigger Party.
	LOL.
	The whole name sounds like Nigger Party Night.
	Become invisible in the night.
	This is all in Russian, too.
	So it's a different culture far away.
	Russia has no blacks at all.
	And they use a very rude word to talk about a culture that is light years away from us.
	Like it's like us having a Zulu party and saying, come as a Zulu, bring your spears.
	Actually, that's a bad analogy because that would be racist too.
	The problem is America is so, you know, not in a bubble.
	So we're pretty familiar with every culture.
	But it would be like a caveman party or something.
	Like a culture that is far light years away from you.
	So yeah, they used a bad word for a themed party and she described it.
	I'm sorry, everyone, for writing these words, but this is one of the funniest things I've seen.
	And I am so going.
	Okay.
	The excitement's so innocent.
	You went to a racially themed party and the invite included a racial epithet.
	Firing offense.
	Fireable offense.
	And that was 2014.
	I mean, I'm impressed that she can speak English.
	And then the next one, she says that she's attracted to Hugh Grant.
	Can you move over a bit?
	This is my man crush.
	I had such a hard time choosing which picture.
	The post.
	He's amazing everywhere.
	Yeah, Hugh Grant's your man crush.
	Duh.
	Any human should be.
	She got a hunk on the show.
	Hugh Grant is old too, and his brother is not good.
	And his wife is Asian, so the kids would be kind of Asian.
	That's the crime.
	The rest is in Russian.
	Whoa.
	So if she was to marry him, the kids would be kind of Asian.
	My kids are kind of Asian.
	I'm offended.
	That's so weird.
	That's like nothing.
	That's what gets you toasted now.
	Is there more here?
	Muslims?
	I saw something.
	Where did I just see Muslims?
	You saw Muslims?
	Where?
	I think so.
	As a New Yorker who was here for 9-11, I got very scared when someone said.
	There's another post where she appears to be mocking Muslim people.
	Okay, what is it?
	I bet you it's not.
	I bet she had like a burqa on, and she's, oh, I remember what it was.
	I saw this one.
	She was wearing like a traditional burqa kind of stuff.
	I think she was in Morocco.
	And she says, hello, I just got Married.
	I'm wife number 35.
	You know, maybe the guy is like so sick of her, and he realized he made a huge mistake, so he just dug through her stuff to get her canceled.
	Yeah.
	He did dump her, too.
	He was probably like, I don't want to fuck that thing again.
	I have to get so wasted.
	And then he went, oh my God, you're racist?
	It's because of that.
	I didn't mind the weird legs.
	Speaking of weird legs, I want to get into this new thing.
	Style for you.
	Is that what it's called?
	Style for you.
	Yep.
	Style for you.
	Okay, let's do a green screen on this new channel that wants to open your mind when it comes to sex.
	So Style Like You is a YouTube channel that gets a bunch of money from globalist perverts to help normalize depravity.
	And you watch these videos on this channel and you see really the trouble with America.
	And it is they've rejected Christianity, they've rejected tradition, and now they're floundering, desperate to try to put some order in their lives.
	They say things like, you know, you don't need Botox, you don't need makeup to be happy.
	And you're like, yeah, I know.
	I hear that in church all the time.
	But you don't go to church.
	So we've got polyamorous freaks and lesbians.
	And they're all making up their own rules as they go, changing genders, changing rules, being polyamorous.
	And all you see is lost pathetic souls.
	It actually might secretly be a Christian right-wing channel that's trying to show these people how fucked they are.
	Anyway, let's just go through some of their videos so you can see what I'm talking about here.
	Okay, so this is the polyamorous thrupple, always a black dude running these things.
	He's horny and he wants to get laid.
	And through trial and error, eventually he finds usually a mentally ill Jew and a fat chick.
	That's a pattern I've noticed.
	She'll take whatever she can get.
	And I've known people who have tried this.
	Never works.
	It never works.
	They always spend, well, they used to just say, this is awesome.
	I don't know what's going on.
	And the girls would sort of roll their eyes and be like, whatever, I'm a freak.
	But now there's a whole made-up academia behind it.
	So they're like, yeah, what's happening now is actually called polyamority and blah.
	Like they just, it's astrology, basically.
	It's a made-up fucking bullshit.
	But I'm watching this video, just going, can we check in with you?
	Remember 7-Up?
	They check in every seven years with these kids from school.
	Can we do 7-month up?
	We check on you every seven months and watch your crazy relationship deteriorate.
	Remember, there was that guy who looked like a rat and there was, she had, it was one woman and like four or five guys.
	Then she got pregnant from one of them and then another guy killed the baby.
	That's usually how it goes when you reject God.
	You end up in hell.
	So these people are on their way to hell.
	Let's check in with them.
	Life was like, does a ham like me?
	How does a ham feel?
	What's a ham doing?
	And if I didn't have that, I was like, nothing.
	Polyamory is like the perfect antidote to codependency.
	Some of the stereotypes is that how could there be enough to go around?
	Enough time, enough attention, enough love.
	I have the greatest love in my life right now than I've ever had before.
	And it has never felt this good.
	You know, we're told this is too good to be true, but it's not.
	It actually is our truth.
	Who looks at that and goes, it's too good to be true?
	This is the mother and daughter couple behind this site, by the way.
	Look how fucking crazy they are.
	Imagine them talking about Trump.
	I promise you, this mother-daughter couple do not allow the word Trump in their home.
	You can't even say, I hate Trump.
	You have to say, I hate Orange Man.
	Or as Spike Lee calls him, Agent Orange.
	Look at her fucking hat.
	What is that?
	Cross colors?
	She and De La Sol.
	What was that other band with the arrested development?
	She looks like she's in arrested development.
	Anyway, keep going.
	And by the way, when we see that sad fat chick, that horny divorced black guy, and that deranged, lonely brunette, we don't go, too good to be true.
	That's just too perfect.
	Especially the girl's fathers.
	They're definitely not saying that.
	They're going, where did I go wrong?
	I guess I went to the pub one too many times.
	I guess I shouldn't have gone to that classic car convention when she had her piano recital.
	No one thinks it's too good, dummies.
	Don't you know any people?
	When we look at that, we go, oh, that sucks.
	That's not going to last.
	And why is it going to suck?
	Because there's not enough love to go around?
	No.
	People have lots of kids.
	Wait, what's happening?
	Have my parents not met?
	Am I disappearing, Ryan?
	Is this thing breaking?
	What's going on?
	Okay.
	I was worried someone had gone back in time and told my dad, Marty McFly, not to meet my wife.
	I mean, my mom.
	Whoops, Freudian slip.
	Yeah, when we see that, we go, it's not going to last because the couples are going to get jealous because love is a one-on-one thing.
	And when you want to be with someone and they're like, actually, I'm going with this person, they go, well, that sucks.
	I thought we had a deal.
	That's just the way it is.
	It's been that way for thousands of years for obvious genetic biological reasons.
	It's not natural to be monogamous.
	Really?
	Why does everyone do it then?
	Because they're brainwashed.
	Okay.
	What about like random cultures in Singapore?
	Are they brainwashed by the state, dude, to post monogamy?
	Whoever is imposing monogamy, brainwashing people to be monogamous, is doing an excellent job.
	Wow.
	They're kicking Soros' ass with their global plan to brainwash the world.
	Next.
	Louie, the mother and daughter creators of Style Like You.
	Shut up.
	Just skip through this.
	They're plugging their sexual awareness sponsors.
	I've been doing this for 11 years next month.
	Basically, kind of like grown up together, raised kids together.
	And Roy and I have been together a couple of years.
	And the three of us have been together since last summer.
	We're three sweeties.
	Can you turn it up, Brian?
	Maybe the speaker.
	It's literally a friendship and a relationship.
	I got freaked out there when I heard 11 years.
	I went over to the bottom.
	And she continues to grow.
	I'm wrong.
	Deepen.
	But no.
	He's been banging her probably when he was married.
	It's been weird and complex, but in, for me, all good ways since the three of us actually have come to know each other.
	So can you talk about assumptions that people make about you based on your relationship?
	Wait, sorry.
	Assumptions.
	I bet they're all accurate.
	I got nervous when he said 11 years because I thought, oh shit, maybe it has been working out.
	And I don't know.
	I was going to bet them $10,000 they won't be around in, I don't know, a year and a half.
	But they've been together since last summer.
	Okay, so it's been a few months.
	Congratulations.
	Now, one thing I forgot to tell you about this is that every video they slowly disrobe.
	I'll be disrobing as we go through this green screen so you can watch my nipples, which I still have, by the way.
	I didn't have my milk duds removed.
	And it's funny because they're all about accepting different types of beauty and we're all different.
	And, you know, fat, lonely chicks who shit themselves are hot too.
	And then you look at their top videos and how they're sorted.
	And the top 10 are all Supermodel talks about how she doesn't like airbrushing.
	That's the number one video they have.
	It has 35,000 views.
	And it's obviously young men scrolling forward to the part where they take all their clothes off because they want to see a supermodel in her underwear.
	And she looks fantastic, by the way.
	So they're going out to reinvent beauty and show you that it's not what you think it is.
	And their most popular video in the free market of ideas is a hot blonde in her underwear.
	Yeah, that's their winner.
	That's 35,000.
	See, even an incredibly pretty girl who's slightly chubby can be beautiful.
	Yeah, I know.
	I have a boner right now.
	You're not blowing my dick's mind by telling me that that is attractive.
	Look at her.
	She's gorgeous.
	Gorgeous, as my dad would say.
	Look, she's crying.
	She's crying because she says, I learned to love myself.
	I learned that I can be pretty.
	What?
	Are you one pound overweight?
	What a revolutionary concept.
	Turn it up.
	I was going to show this one last.
	And I never even, that aspiration of being a Superman or that aspiration of being on the front cover of Vogue, it actually all went out the window, to be honest.
	Like, I want this.
	I want education in schools.
	I want to be able to give a voice to all those young people.
	So you were brave enough to realize that you're not on the cover of Vogue and the women on the cover of Vogue are part of, what, the 0.000000001% hottest of the population?
	Okay, wow.
	That's amazing.
	Realize that, yeah, they don't need to attain to that perfection.
	I want to just change the way they feel about themselves and the way they see the world and give them the opportunity to come full circle where I am.
	How brave.
	How many times have you seen that too?
	It reminds me of the hideous bitch who started Me Too, Tarana Brawley or whatever her name is.
	No, that's the one who likes Tarana Burke.
	And she's like, we're sick of being sex objects.
	And you can see the other woman next to her going, uh.
	Conversely, there must be hideous fat women watching that first girl who's saying, I realized one day I don't want to be on the cover of Vogue.
	I can love me as I am, an eight.
	And there must be all these ones like her going, uh, that's not really brave.
	Brave is loving this.
	If you look like this and you see yourself as beautiful, I'm impressed.
	That's an accomplishment.
	That previous chick, sorry, not good enough.
	Let's go back to the polyamorous ones.
	Talk about assumptions that people make about you based on your relationship.
	I feel like people, like especially cis straight men, feel like I'm like getting away with something.
	I don't have any allegiance to that kind of like masculine getting women.
	I'm not trying to get anything.
	I'm with these people.
	I just have like unlimited respect for the people that I love and I'm in a relationship with.
	At no point does it feel like I'm doing anything inappropriate.
	But that perception is in the air.
	And I think it has a lot to do with how people are in any kind of relationship.
	You know, people tend to be exploitative of the people that they're with and they tend to be in a relationship to be like, what can I get out of this relationship?
	All rhetoric, as Christopher Hicks said, all of those words you just said make no sense in any particular order.
	He's speaking broad.
	I don't mean in broad terms, although he's doing that, but he's speaking woman.
	This is just gobbledygook as he extends a threesome over several months.
	That's all you're doing.
	And when you have a threesome, yeah, some chicks enjoy it, but it's not real.
	You're having a sexcapade.
	Scroll forward.
	I mean, this goes, all of these are fucking long.
	By the way that I had been treated.
	And so all the empirical evidence was telling me that there's just no way that this man loves me and because it's impossible.
	However, I love you if you bring another chick into the bedroom.
	You got to pay your taxes, fat ass.
	She pays woman tax.
	Okay, scroll ahead.
	This is getting tedious.
	I mean, you know what?
	And it just kept going from there and it's been exponential.
	Was the flirting and the in-person like attraction also instant?
	Yeah, for me.
	Yeah.
	Both of them texted me like 15 minutes after they met and they were both like, okay, we're best friends now.
	Like, okay.
	It's like, okay.
	Oh, God, the IQ in the room.
	I think if you combine them all, they're one normal person's IQ.
	They need three people to figure out like what garbage day is, the recycling, how to fill the coffee machine.
	That's why they're together to survive.
	Keep going, though.
	Let's see them in their underwear.
	With Roya, where we don't have to talk.
	He's touching the brunette more than the fatty.
	Have you noticed that?
	This is the problem with polyamority.
	The fat one sort of goes, what is my knee?
	Chopped liver?
	Hello?
	And just like hold each other and like be look at that.
	look at that body language.
	I'll rub the back of my thumb on you, but I'll touch your inner thigh.
	I think we know which one he's going to pick when they break up.
	I'm just absolutely blown away.
	Like that these people exist and they get to be in my life.
	There's just the fullness of the beauty of both of them and all of us.
	And it's very overwhelming.
	There's the fullness of the beauty of all of us.
	And it's overwhelming.
	Meaning, I got to stop this sentence.
	I don't know.
	Oh, there we go.
	That's a good touch.
	Okay, scroll forward.
	I want to see them all.
	I want to see what they got.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Love looks like.
	He was muscular.
	Now he's totally out of shape from too many blowjobs.
	And she's hideous.
	She's dying.
	Maybe that's what he's going for.
	He's hoping she'll get COVID and then he gets the brunette.
	Okay, so that's boring.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	I don't want to hear your bullshit rhetoric.
	They can fall for it.
	I'm not fucking you, so I don't have to listen to this bullshit.
	What's the next one?
	Polly Amorous.
	You mean a very long threesome?
	Oh, this one's great.
	So this was a lesbian.
	I think she was a lesbian, not by birth.
	I think she got abused probably by a family member like Oprah.
	And this is just a dyke.
	Now, this dyke cut her tits off.
	And as we discussed, was it yesterday?
	That's way more horrific than we thought.
	We thought it was just removing some fat.
	But you remove major equipment.
	So you've massacred yourself.
	And now they're lesbians in a normal relationship.
	In other words, boring.
	We've had lesbians for a long fucking time, and we're not blown away.
	Even before there was a word, even before it was like in the national relationship.
	In the national conversation, it was like, yeah, she's got a friend.
	I remember when I was a little kid in Scotland, they'd be like, oh, yeah, she's no, she's single, if you know, I mean, yeah, she's got a friend.
	She lives with her friend.
	And you go, oh, okay.
	They should come with a word for that because I keep hearing about these things.
	No one gives a shit.
	A. B, you're not interesting.
	So this is their angle.
	When the virgin club kid, okay, it's just a girl who hasn't a lesbian who hasn't started it yet.
	It's not really a virgin.
	And then this is a dude who likes to fuck chicks.
	So, and he's a Mormon.
	What?
	What?
	Fuck boy, Mormon.
	Gray and Grayson's TikTok.
	That's not your mother.
	It's a man, baby.
	It's so boring.
	And they try to make it so crazy.
	Anyway, let's watch some of this.
	Tell me, how do you know you're gay if you haven't fucked someone?
	It's like people kind of equate getting fucked to being attractive.
	If you're not attractive, you're not getting fucked.
	If you don't want to get fucked, it's probably because you don't think you're attractive.
	I think everyone has their own path and their own way to live.
	And I think there's also a society that's not.
	I think your oil spat on you when you were changing your carburetor there.
	Doing things you're not fully comfortable.
	I'm not into astrology.
	I am astronomy.
	You don't have to have sex to be cool, to be relevant, to be queer, to be anything.
	This episode of What's Underneath Couples is made of the music.
	Oh, God.
	No, it's your raison debt.
	It's what you fucking live for.
	It's like sometimes you see like a white girl with a black boyfriend.
	Not so much in New York, a lot in Britain, but up in Canada, not in Toronto, but in the Midwest too.
	And she'll be walking, like holding hands with him, and then she'll look at you like...
	I suppose this is driving you nuts.
	No.
	And you're like, oh, you're fucking...
	That's funny that that was a black woman.
	You're fucking someone you're in love with.
	What a brave revolutionary you are.
	You're blowing your boyfriend and he's eating you out.
	Wow.
	Thanks for restarting the civil rights movement.
	We're so impressed.
	We don't care.
	All right.
	So let's fast forward and look at this normal lesbian couple who they would probably want to kill me if they heard me say normal.
	Look, she's got a key for an earring.
	I'm not normal.
	Look at those tits.
	You just like walk out and you go, shit.
	Damn.
	And I'm like, what is happening?
	What has happened to you?
	They're like, you just look that hot.
	Like, you are the king of just like unprovoked compliments.
	What's your favorite part of the other person's body?
	Arms.
	Oh, my gosh.
	She loves my arms.
	My arms were probably my least liked characteristic.
	It's aligned with femininity.
	People in church would always talk about the women with like the chicken wings.
	That's the language people used.
	They are strong.
	They're also sexy.
	They hold me really tight.
	They have more tattoos on them.
	They get stronger.
	They bring it even stronger on tea.
	When I take more testosterone, in other words, when I'm less like naturally me, my arms will be bigger.
	You know who else's arms get bigger on tea?
	Every human being on earth.
	What I think is most sexy about you.
	Now I am a tits and an ass-man.
	Stop.
	By the way, speaking of the chicken wings, one of my dad's favorite jokes is, what's the difference between the Holocaust and that bit of fat on a woman's inner arm?
	You can make jokes about the Holocaust.
	Nick Fuentes can't.
	He's a Holocaust denier because he made a joke.
	Keep going.
	And it's going to be cheesy.
	Oh, yeah, that was the other thing, too.
	I'm a tits and ass man.
	Lady, if you're going to appropriate our culture, and that's what this is, by the way, they get mad when white people have dreads.
	I get mad when I see these.
	Oh, she does have nipples.
	Thank God.
	You're appropriating male culture.
	And just like a German guy who's got big dreads and a Rastahat and doesn't understand that he's supposed to be homophobic, talk about batty boys and hate menstruation and say bumba clat, because bumba clat is a blood clot.
	Menstruation is the worst thing in Rastafarian culture.
	So if you're going to adopt Rastafarian culture, you've got to be a homophobe and a periodophobe.
	But they don't know that.
	Similarly, you can't be a tits and an ass man.
	You got to choose.
	Now, we could have debates.
	Maddie and I are ass men.
	I don't even know what you are, Ryan.
	Are you a tits or an ass-man?
	Assman.
	Assman.
	And us ass men, like, there, that should be a whole documentary.
	Tits men versus assmen.
	I've had arguments for hours.
	My buddy Jim is a titman.
	He calls me a fag for not liking tits enough.
	I go, I love tits.
	They're just not important.
	They're not the deal breaker.
	It's the ass that I care about because you're a fag.
	Yeah, men have asses.
	You like to smell shit.
	And I get all those criticisms.
	You don't like the butt chick.
	I think it's an interesting debate, but there's no such thing as a tits and ass man.
	What?
	That's a man.
	Useless.
	You're useless at this.
	The IQs that we're dealing with here are just alarming.
	Then she appropriates black culture because she's like, this is going to be corny, but.
	And this is going to be cheesy, but your face.
	I love your face.
	This is going to be cheesy.
	This is going to be.
	Allow me to cheese it up real quick.
	You're not black.
	You're not male.
	You're not a fuckboy.
	You're a boring Mormon lesbian.
	And this is going to be cheesy, but your face.
	I love your face.
	I think it's the most beautiful face in the world.
	And like, I love you with makeup.
	I support it.
	It's creative.
	It's beautiful.
	But like when you don't have a face on.
	Yes.
	Lesbian.
	Horny lesbian who's very lazy.
	Look how lazy she is.
	Fat people are lazy.
	She's never had a home before.
	This is my home.
	This is my safety.
	Great.
	Enjoy yourselves.
	You're not weird.
	Sorry.
	Okay.
	Is there any more other ones?
	Yes.
	Oh, this chick.
	So she is redefining what sexuality is and beauty and what women are supposed to be.
	No.
	No, you're not.
	You're a horny old lady that likes to fuck young men.
	Meaning handsome virile men.
	Yeah.
	That's what all women want.
	Go ahead.
	And game.
	I'm not a relationship person.
	I cannot wait to dialogue.
	I cannot wait to dialogue.
	I'm not afraid of being casually and recreationally for sex.
	I want to help redefine what society thinks an older woman should look like, be like, dress like, act like, work like, date like, and fuck like.
	And fuck shit.
	You know what people think when they walk by her?
	Oh, there's an old slut.
	In one ear, out the other.
	We're familiar with you.
	You're called cougars.
	Not MILFs.
	Cougars.
	Ab you?
	I am actually somebody who really loves dressing up.
	I think one of the most appalling beliefs going around culturally is that older women should cease to dress in certain ways or should dress in certain ways.
	I don't give a damn whether anybody thinks I shouldn't be wearing a skirt this short.
	I shouldn't be.
	We've had enough of this.
	I guess we'll go look at her nude at the end, which is all everyone ever does in these.
	They scroll to the end.
	Yeah, so you're selling sex, which is pretty easy to do.
	I would argue, yes, around 1969, a year before I was born, there was people who go, oh, Lord, what is she wearing?
	She shouldn't be wearing such a short skirt at her age.
	And that, you know, the person saying that was an old lady.
	The woman who said that was like 65 in 1969.
	So they all died before I was an adult.
	For the past half century, my entire life, no one's given a fuck if old ladies wear short skirts.
	You're talking about the 60s, you silly slut.
	Think of anything else I'd rather be doing.
	I said make love not porn is an accident.
	As the saying goes, the path appeared.
	I just feel enormously lucky.
	I love how she starts it with, I'm going to die alone.
	Like, imagine you met someone.
	Hi, hello.
	I'd like you to know that I'm not scared of dying alone.
	She's like, Jen Kirkman.
	I like being single.
	I'm glad I got divorced.
	It's awesome.
	In case you're wondering, I know you're wondering.
	I'm not wondering.
	Wondering would imply I give a flying fuck about you.
	No one cares.
	You're not breaking new ground.
	And this entire channel is a myth.
	All right, next.
	Is there any more?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Yes, sir.
	Oh, this one.
	Okay, you're not going to like this.
	Black lesbian meets another lesbian who's taken so much tea, it has a beard.
	It has a cunt, though, and they finger each other, and they 69.
	And then, of course, as with all lesbians, they stop, right?
	You know this, LBD, lesbian bed death.
	So gays will fuck till their asshole falls off, quite literally.
	But lesbians, they stop fucking at like 32.
	So these two will not be fucking for long.
	But when they started dating, the black girl finds out she's pregnant.
	And they go, oh, as anyone would do, it's time to break up.
	I don't know.
	I'm not raising some stranger's kid.
	And she goes, it's different than adopting, by the way.
	She goes, no, it's because I was, she doesn't say raped.
	It's because I was sexually assaulted.
	Now, here's a horrible thing.
	I have no evidence.
	I might go to hell for this.
	I ain't buying it.
	I think you fucked around with the guy.
	He came in you.
	You weren't bananas about the guy.
	So when you say sexually assaulted, you're using the 2022 definition of sexual assault, which is I voluntarily, consensually had intercourse, then decided later that it wasn't my cup of tea.
	That's what's going on here.
	Pregnant, honor period.
	I don't want an operator.
	My girlfriend, who's not pregnant on her period, just had a baby.
	She did it in the bathtub.
	It's boring.
	What do you mean?
	I don't know.
	I just met it.
	I don't know.
	And pregnancies are like 00.0001% for a trans guy.
	In honor of Pride Month, this episode.
	What?
	She didn't know that she was pregnant?
	We just thought she had a beer belly.
	Holy shit, maybe I'm pregnant.
	They didn't want to get to know me.
	I was like, oh, okay.
	Like, you want to get to know me?
	Okay, can you take off maybe both of your hats?
	Can you tell me?
	How much do you got for this?
	I'm going to say $100 each.
	I think the obvious one is that we're straight.
	There is a privilege to that because there's the outside world, but then there's also like the fact that you can't.
	We suffer from white privilege.
	Do you get it?
	I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the straight privilege.
	They feel terrible.
	That is so fucking warped.
	He puts on that beard.
	She puts on that beard and then says we're a straight couple and it's not fair that they treat gays because we're straight.
	They treat gays bad.
	Homophobia is not a problem with us.
	We're a straight couple.
	What about racism?
	She's black.
	Is that a thing?
	Well, identify as black too.
	So we're just a black couple.
	Okay.
	That's a hate crime right there, bro.
	Enjoy your fantasies.
	That's the name of this episode, by the way.
	Enjoy your fantasies.
	Because I don't have a problem with these people.
	Like, I'm sitting here because it's funny.
	Demystifying their fake bullshit.
	But demystifying their belief system.
	I don't have a problem with it.
	I wish them all nothing but the best.
	I mean, you're just mostly, it's all just mentally ill people trying to cope.
	This is what happens when you get rid of all the loony bins.
	Especially has bigger feet than her husband.
	The man that I am to her.
	However, she also understands that I'm coming from a place of dual experience.
	Thank you.
	Coming from a place.
	Shut up.
	She's pretty hot.
	When do you think the other one is the most beautiful?
	Is the most annoying.
	All the time?
	When obviously...
	They become male and they just...
	They're so female.
	Like, when is my wife the hottest?
	When she's in lingerie and high-heel shoes and horny.
	When she's the least hot, when she's mad at me and grumpy first thing in the morning, when she's drunk.
	Like, men have answers.
	They don't go 24 hours a day.
	Women say that.
	Because women aren't shallow and they're not as aesthetic as we are.
	We're like, I like it when her tits bounce up and down.
	No woman would ever say that about your bag.
	I love it when he's fucking me and his balls are bouncing all over the place.
	She can't even see our balls.
	I can't see your balls.
	All right, we're all bored of this right now.
	This better be the last one, right?
	Being in this journey to why it's a good place to be.
	That's pretty good top surgery.
	I can't believe I'm in a situation where I'm looking at top surgery and going, that's pretty good.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	In the hospital, we had gotten some news that she's going to be a special needs shop.
	And that is.
	Oh, yeah, it's special needs.
	I forgot.
	Because not only are we parents, but we're parents of a kid who's going to require four physical therapy appointments a week.
	You know, we're doing a lot.
	Everything that we've had in our lives to this moment is just like meant to be in this form that okay, that's enough.
	Let's just stop.
	But you see the one with the beard, that one?
	Imagine her father.
	And you're at the pub and you go, so Darren, what's going on with your daughter?
	Is she still in San Francisco?
	Yeah.
	So what's going on?
	She found a man yet?
	And she's getting older, right?
	She's going to have a baby soon.
	She's got a baby.
	That's great.
	I hope she's married.
	You don't have a baby out of wedlock.
	I don't want to talk about it.
	Oh, shit.
	Sorry.
	Is something wrong with the baby?
	Well, yeah, that's the tip of the iceberg.
	What do you mean, the tip of the iceberg?
	What's going on?
	She became a man, grew a beard, started dating a random black chick who had just been raped, and then the black chick had a retarded baby that they're both now raising.
	Okay.
	No, seriously.
	Wow, is your daughter?
	That's not a joke.
	Here, watch this video.
	It's the easiest way to say that again?
	It's the easiest way to explain everything.
	Oh, wait, those were those underwear videos?
	Isn't that style like you?
	I did that.
	I identify as a black lesbian.
	Yeah, that poor dad.
	Is there a GoFundMe for that person's dad?
	Because I want to empty my bank account for it.
	All right, let's get back to work.
	I'm out of here.
	Bye.
	So I want to show you where I heard about this.
	By the way, that should be those videos where they just sit there, talk for one second, and snap their clothes are off, end of the video.
	Have a 40-minute fucking...
	Hi, we are going to say some bullshit about a polyamorous, but it's me and my underwear.
	What do you think?
	You're going to have to skip forward.
	I think you're fat and you're pretty.
	Next.
	The one with the 35,000 views, she's pretty.
	You're not.
	The one that got duped to fucking having a three-year threesome, you're fat and ugly.
	I thought no one would want me except a horny black dude who wants to have threesomes.
	Yeah, that's what happened.
	But check out this New York Post article.
	Trolls say my disabled husband can't satisfy me, but they're wrong.
	Trolls say my troll can't satisfy me, but they're...
	Now, I can't...
	He has the same thing as our buddy Crip Daddy.
	And one of the things they do, like their muscles are lame, right?
	They can't move much.
	So if, you know, when you wear a cast and you take the cast off and you have your arms all skinny, that's why they're all skinny.
	They're not getting exercise.
	But I don't get the wrists.
	Our guy looks way better than this guy.
	And every time I ask Crip about it, he's like, I go, why are the wrists like that?
	He goes, Because I'm gay.
	And I'm like, Well, why are this guy's wrists way worse than yours?
	He's like, He's more gay than me.
	He's really gay.
	And then I was like, Okay, I get it.
	You don't want to talk about it.
	I'll go find, I'll go ask my friend Google.
	I looked it up, I couldn't find an explanation.
	And I remember when I was a kid, a lot of boomers had thalidomide because what in the early 60s, I guess, 50s, everyone took thalidomide, pregnant women, and they made these lobster people.
	And we had a friend who had the lobster arms like this, and his wrists looked exactly like these guys, but his body was fine, and it was because of thalidomide.
	But like, I don't get how not being able to move a lot makes your wrist bend so bad.
	Oh, no.
	It's the same with cerebral palsy.
	They have the same thing.
	Don't Google thalidomide babies.
	Very depressing.
	You never heard of thalidomide before?
	I've heard of it.
	I've never seen it.
	I've heard plenty of jokes about it.
	But the truth is not very funny.
	Let's...
	So in that newspaper article in the New York Post today, we have, scroll down, we've got their style for you.
	Whoa.
	Why in your partnership?
	Why is it a good place to be?
	Is she wet?
	The best part.
	Oh my God, his feet are so weird.
	I saw some dampness.
	The best part about our partnership is the comfort of the body.
	Let me see where you saw the dampness.
	Stop.
	Is that damp or shadow?
	That's shadow.
	Okay.
	Brain wants it.
	I mean, it could be wetness.
	I mean, maybe the reason she's attracted him is she's been getting so much attention.
	I don't think these two are ever not videotaping themselves.
	Is it a good place to be?
	The best part about our partnership is he eats pussy like you would not believe.
	I cannot overstate how little space I need from Shane.
	Like, that's just so weird to me.
	I know that our life is and will continue to be hilarious and fun and full of adventure.
	It better be hilarious or you're out of a job.
	This is the first time in my life like I'm not a burden because he is wholly there for me and doesn't feel burdened by me.
	So yeah.
	Is it beautiful?
	She does not awesome.
	I need to start again.
	You better be charming.
	That must go back to cave days, right?
	If you're shaped like that and you're not charming, it's like you're going to get brained with a rock.
	Be cute.
	Be endearing.
	Be charming.
	Or you're toast.
	But go back to the beginning.
	They have a lot of clothes on.
	They really, it's like you're playing strip poker.
	No, he had a hat on.
	Go back to the beginning, beginning.
	Often people will assume that.
	Oh, you know what?
	No, they show like the highlight for the pretty cute watch.
	Yeah, there we go.
	And I saw a documentary that one of my favorite actors made about Shane.
	I think it linked to his blog.
	I had a popular blog at the time.
	Oh, pop blog.
	And I felt like we had a lot in common.
	And I reached out to him through email, which is a weird thing for me to do.
	It's so out of character.
	Out of character for Hannah.
	Yeah.
	Who's a very shy preserved?
	Yeah, she seems really shy.
	I've never seen a stranger before.
	I've never seen her on camera before.
	Like, just go to the top picture while that continues to play.
	Look how shy she is.
	Poor girl.
	She hates attention.
	Yeah, what would coming out of her shell look like walking around with a butt plug?
	What's her job?
	I mean, what's his job?
	How do they make their money, do you think?
	IT?
	Interabled relationship.
	Of course they have to name it something annoying.
	Yeah, it needs a name.
	Instead of just a relationship.
	All right, let's cut back.
	Have we already seen the underwear?
	All right.
	Yeah, we saw the underwear.
	We have a million questions.
	You look like Charlie Kirk.
	The Democrat Party right now, I don't know if this is a good impression, but you know what I'm going for.
	Charlie Kirk.
	Right.
	Obviously, when we see that, we go, I don't think you can get it up.
	You're paralyzed from the waist down.
	That's not true, by the way.
	But that's where your brain goes.
	So when most of us see this, and just like I was saying at the beginning of the show, we talk on the show like we talk in bars.
	And I think about 100% of us see these interableist couples and think of pussy eating, right?
	Me?
	Yeah.
	Right.
	So I don't have that disease.
	What is it called?
	A spinal something?
	But Crip Daddy does.
	So let's ask Crip Daddy these embarrassing questions about dating and fucking and sucking when you're severely handicapped.
	Crip Daddy, are you there, sir?
	Oh, yeah, I'm here.
	How you doing?
	We're here and we're ready to fuck.
	You know, the way you sort of, you're kink there with your face, it looks like you're smirking at me like you think I'm dumb.
	I would never think that a day in my life, Gavin.
	Okay, well, stop doing it.
	I can't make that promise.
	It's just who I am.
	Don't you think a lot of handicapped people are just like not trying hard enough?
	Like if you...
	Have you ever tried that?
	Not yet, but I'm not gay, so I just didn't give any a go.
	We were just reading about a lovely couple who have been accused of having a bad sex life because one of them, his legs are nunchucks, and he has to sit in a piece of foam.
	And you're reading it and you're like, I don't know if crippled people deserve love.
	No.
	No, they don't.
	They're an abomination to God's creation, man.
	And I don't see why they should be treated as equal.
	You know, in Hispanic countries in Central America, they take it as a sign that God is punishing them.
	God thinks there's something wrong with them.
	So they hide the child in the basement or they keep him out of sight because they're so ashamed.
	And I think they're right.
	Yeah, that's the way we should have been doing it from day one.
	We had it right with that.
	The Spartans had it right.
	They just threw you off a cliff.
	Yeah.
	You'd be fine.
	That would have been an honorable death.
	Now, last time you were on the show a long time ago, I made some quip about your sex life and you pointed out that you had a lady friend.
	Yeah.
	And you also, a lot of people, it's funny to see you on Twitter when people insult you and call you handicapped and say you're going to die.
	And you're like, yeah, that's pretty much what's going on.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I don't have too much to complain about.
	My dick is getting wet on a regular basis.
	I am pretty happy for the most part.
	And I'm not black.
	So what's wrong?
	Yeah.
	You should have a teacher that says, at least I'm not black.
	Could have been worse.
	So, like, you, that guy, and Ricky Berwick all seem like you have normal heads, and then there's twisting going on.
	Do you all have the same disease?
	Well, me and this guy do.
	I know that for a fact because people thought it was funny at one point to like compare me and him, which is weird because I fuck his wife on a daily basis.
	And she says my dick is way bigger.
	So what do you have?
	Spina bifida?
	I have a spinal muscular atrophy, type two.
	And he has the exact same thing.
	Yeah.
	Type two.
	So the bone, I know this is boring, especially for you, but just briefly, what is that?
	The bones, they atrify?
	Yeah, so basically your brain doesn't tell your body how to move because we just were born lazy.
	And because of that, your body shrivels up and becomes a potato.
	Huh.
	But everything works.
	Like, can you move your toes right now?
	Yeah, like, I can move properly for the most part, but just not fully.
	I see.
	So if I pricked your toe with a pin, you'd say, ow.
	Yeah, I'd call you a faggot.
	Yeah.
	And what about Ricky Berwick?
	He seems worse off.
	His back is like a crumpled up bulldog.
	Yeah, he's pretty much like the bulldog of humans.
	Like, they just shouldn't exist.
	And you don't know why they do, but you kind of find them cute in a weird, gross way.
	Well, I don't know why, but you guys are both funny.
	And that dude, Paul, whatever his name is, he reckons himself a funny man.
	And it's fucking embarrassing.
	Oh, God, he's so corny.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But, I mean, dude's getting papers, so I guess you got to respect it to a degree, but I don't.
	Well, his girlfriend's a fucking...
	His girlfriend's a seven, at least.
	Oh, yeah.
	She fucks like an eight, though.
	Isn't there something unusual about a woman being attracted to someone like you?
	You know, what's funny is I came across a study on like psychology.com, I think, that was saying that they did, I don't know how they did the research, but they found that women are more attracted to disabled men online than they would be,
	in retrospect, to like a normal able-bodied dude who's like, you know, kind of insecure and whatever.
	But they also found that men don't like disabled women.
	Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
	Women have that sort of Florence Nightingale tendency where they want to save everyone.
	I noticed when I watched like 600 Pound Life, the fat pig men always have a reasonable looking wife who's like rolling him out of bed and washing his sores.
	Yeah, my mom loves watching that show.
	It's fucking disgusting.
	Yeah, I saw this girl on the train once here in New York City, and she was short and thin.
	So she looked exactly like a 12-year-old, maybe even an 11-year-old.
	And she was working that.
	She had like pigtails on, a baseball shirt, little short shorts, and then tube socks.
	And she was with a big burly dude with a beard.
	And I was looking at them going, I want her to find love, right?
	I want her to be happy.
	But that guy that wants to fuck her, I'm kind of skeeved out by.
	No offense.
	I mean, you don't need to call me out like this.
	I know that I looked different back then, but I mean, she's like, good dick, dude.
	I can't help it.
	Good point.
	How exactly do you fuck?
	Does she sit on your penis?
	Yeah, my penis, my face.
	It's a good time.
	And are you in a chair or are you on the bed?
	I'll be wherever.
	Man.
	I've fooled around some places.
	So everything works.
	It just doesn't work as well as you would like.
	I mean, the penis, all a penis has to do is get erect.
	Yeah, that's all that needs to do.
	And how did you meet your girlfriend?
	Tinder.
	Hmm.
	Yeah.
	Tinder is a hard place to be for a dude in general, I feel, but like, it's even harder when you have to put out there, like, yeah, this, you know, I don't wonk, but like, I fuck.
	I can do that.
	So when a girl contacts you and she's like, hi, you're cute.
	I want to sit on your dick in your face while you lie there in a crumpled heap.
	I had to pull the funny card.
	You what?
	You have to do the funny shit.
	That's what I rely on.
	So I can't just, you know, fucking swoon people with good looks.
	I have to be funny.
	Right.
	You have to be funny.
	It's do or die.
	That's pretty much when people are like, oh, what made you want to be a comedian?
	They're like, what made you want to be funny?
	It was a survival.
	I wanted to fuck.
	I wanted to get pussy.
	I wanted to touch a tit.
	That's why you're almost like a guy on stage, you know, in World War II, and they're like, be funny, Jew, or we will kill you.
	Yeah, no, that was it.
	That was my life.
	So when a girl says, yes, I'd love to fuck you and all that stuff, aren't you sort of like, well, that's great.
	I'll take it, but you're kind of weird to want to fuck me.
	Yeah, no, I call them out every time.
	I'm like, you're fucking gross.
	You know that?
	Yeah.
	Like, you could have fucked any normal dude, and you chose me.
	What's wrong with you?
	It's like that TLC show where this girl had cancer and her pituitary gland got fucked up by the chemo.
	So she's a 22-year-old adult that looks exactly like an eight-year-old.
	She wants to find a guy, but then when she finds a guy, she's like, ew, you want to fuck me, you pervert?
	Yeah.
	No, that's weird.
	That's rightfully so to call him out.
	And like, you know, what's even weirder is I get those people that are like, do you date disabled people?
	Like, do you do that?
	And that's weird because gross.
	Fucking, I would never date a disabled person in my life.
	That's fucking disgusting.
	Yeah, We Man from Jackass, he feels the same way.
	He thinks midgets are gross and he's only attracted to normal women.
	The way it should be, the way God intended.
	You know what you should do?
	You should start a feud with that guy.
	You should call him...
	What's his name?
	Paul something?
	You should say he's a faker and he bends his wrists on purpose.
	Fuck him.
	And you should challenge him to a fight of a celebrity boxing match for charity.
	Yeah, I agree with that.
	That's a good idea.
	Yeah.
	You and Ricky versus him.
	I don't mean in the fight.
	I mean like online social media.
	Just start shit.
	It'll be funny.
	And then I'll show up and I'll try to broker the deal.
	I'll be like, guys, guys, guys, you have the same handicap.
	Stop this insanity.
	You should be friends.
	And I'll try to like arrange a sit-down.
	He'll probably take it seriously.
	So we don't have to coach him.
	But you'll both be like, I'm not talking that motherfucker.
	No, I agree.
	I think that's the fight of the century.
	Move over Mike Dyson and shit.
	Didn't they do this already, though?
	I think it's called Battle Bots.
	Battle Bots.
	Okay, so starting today, Paul, what's his name and Crip Daddy are in a feud?
	Yes, absolutely.
	Awesome.
	All right, man.
	Thanks for schooling us on the ways of the handicapped, and I hope you have a good weekend.
	Any day.
	I'm here.
	Hey, wait, last question.
	Do you drink booze?
	Oh, yeah.
	I have a problem.
	Yeah.
	Great.
	All right, man.
	Thanks a lot.
	Later, dude.
	Shane Burkaw, that's the guy's name.
	Not Paul.
	Shane Burkaw.
	You would think that they wouldn't have a grudge with each other?
	Like, you know, when you're in a PT cruiser and you see another P2 cruiser, you kind of like wave.
	And you have this brotherhood where it's like, we both got the same friendship.
	That's why I want them to get together and be friends.
	You want them to be friends?
	I want to end the feud with Shane and Crip.
	Oh, so with a fight.
	But I don't think it has to come to that.
	It would be cool to see Mud Wrestling.
	But I think I want to sit them down right here in the studio.
	I don't think there's any other option as far as arranging that.
	Take them out of their chairs, put them down.
	Both wearing track suits with Birkenstock.
	That sounds cool.
	Yeah, I want them to work it out.
	That's going to be my role in this feud is please stop fighting.
	But if you notice, there's a theme here where the handicapped people are trying to be BIPOC.
	In fact, the Russian girl we had on earlier, the shit at the fan with her N-word posts and all that, she said, I think it's funny how other people can complain about this, but I'm part of a minority too.
	I'm handicapped.
	You can't make fun of the handicapped.
	Or can you?
	So yeah, let's jump to the mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	I wanted to eat a sandwich today that was in the fridge, and I said, I'm going to grab this.
	And my wife goes, oh, that's for our daughter's lunch.
	And I go, all right.
	Two days later, the fucking sandwich is still there.
	And it gets worse.
	So I just texted them both.
	Because my daughter was at school, and my wife was at yoga or whatever she fucking does all day.
	And I just texted a picture, I go, I'm eating this.
	And then guess what happened?
	I lost it.
	I put it in the car.
	I parked.
	I just went back to the car.
	It's not in the car.
	It's gone.
	That seems weird.
	I haven't had lunch today.
	Sorry to bore you with that, but it's important I get it out of the way because I just saw a picture of it on my desktop.
	Now, is this a grouper sandwich?
	Because this sounds fishy.
	I love puns.
	Me too.
	Zimpa-ba-doo.
	Here's one from Will.
	Dear Gavin and not Asian fag.
	Wow, that's crazy.
	That's nice.
	I am watching the censored interview with Jack Murphy, and you just brought up his divorce.
	He seems like a good guy, and he clearly has a lot of good accomplishments, but the guy sounded like a total fag when he said, it was just time for me to go.
	And when he said, getting a divorce was one of the worst things that ever happened to me, but also one of the best things that ever happened to me.
	You can make a funny drop of him.
	Oh, okay, that's not the letter I thought it was.
	There was another letter where someone goes, is it possible that Jack Murphy, this shit hit the fan with his whole identity because he was on your show?
	Now, that sounds paranoid, but it's happened.
	I think Alex Jones was booted off Facebook after he had me on.
	I think Laura Loomer lost her Facebook and her Twitter after we did an interview together.
	It's possible.
	So, because the letter pointed out that Jack Murphy was, that porn footage and that cuck article were ancient news, and it was available to everyone forever.
	And he did make it worse by telling Sidney to go fuck herself or whatever.
	But they really came after him after he was on my show.
	I'm going to put it at 50-50 chance that it's my fault.
	He was destroyed.
	Here's a kind of a long one.
	Hey, Gavin, I've been dealing with a woman at my job.
	She's a manager over all male employees.
	I'm also a manager after recent promotions.
	Since I became a manager, I've had to work around her more often.
	She started being manipulative in different ways, forgetting to have me sign things so I have to keep coming into her office.
	And I've noticed that she treats employees differently based on how much they kiss her ass, which I'm not going to do.
	Yeah, that's the thing.
	Like, women and millennials, they like the workplace to be nice.
	And I'm not a nice guy to work with.
	Nor was my dad.
	My dad's your best friend at the pub, including with the people he works with.
	But at work, we got to get this shit done.
	So I don't want my ass kissed.
	I'm not going to kiss your ass.
	I don't want compliments.
	We're not friends.
	This isn't a family.
	We're like digging a trench.
	Let's go.
	And that's dying.
	And that's bad because that's how shit gets done.
	With jokes.
	By the way, I say joke because that's how my youngest boy would say it before he could figure out how ours go.
	If you don't follow around like her little pet, she'll put in a word to have you fired.
	I'm happily married with four kids.
	I have no desire to ruin that.
	I've been tiptoeing around the situation.
	I started to cut back the amount of time I'm alone with her once I noticed she seemed to be interested in me.
	I file papers when she's at lunch and come in before she gets there every day.
	Now she's been stalking my wife's social media accounts, liking pictures of me from six years ago, and then going back and unliking them over and over.
	Okay, sir, you need to document that.
	You need screen grabs of all of that so you have a legal case in case you get fired.
	My wife is nothing but nice to her, but she does not return the kindness.
	She does not interact with my wife's social media other than the liking and unliking at 3 a.m., but tries to use it as a conversation starter to try and get me to talk to her.
	You're being sexually harassed, my friend.
	She's 10 years older than me and is in a relationship herself.
	She doesn't have kids.
	I feel she's trying to drive a wedge into my marriage.
	I cannot report her to HR as she is the highest rank under the owner and he's smitten by her.
	How would you approach a situation?
	So, first I would document everything and have a whole file called Crazy Bitch.
	And I'd also be looking for another job.
	In the old days, you could go to a guy, say, this psycho is stalking me.
	And they go, all right, we'll look into it.
	Sorry to hear that.
	But with this fucking boss being spent with her, it could blow up in your face.
	So your days are numbered there, no matter how it goes.
	Even if you fucked her, she'd maybe talk about divorce and you didn't divorce.
	Like, there's no way you can save this.
	She's psycho.
	Even if you both got divorced and then you fucked her, she'd be like, this isn't what I thought it would be.
	I feel like you took advantage of me.
	Yeah, you sexually assaulted me when I blew you.
	Well, you pushed down.
	So I would start looking for another job and document everything like crazy.
	I'd also try to befriend the one who's smitten with her.
	Maybe you can grab a beer with him or something or talk to him, not about this, but about a project.
	And then when the shit hits the fan, you go, Eddie, you know me.
	This woman is nuts.
	Also, you could try to play Matchmaker.
	Try to get them together.
	He's got the question on her.
	She doesn't know, you know, and then you defer to him.
	You say, what about him?
	He's nice.
	He's lovely.
	He likes you.
	Thanks, Herschel.
	You're welcome.
	Hey, Gavin and Ryan, enjoying these pictures from January's worldwide rally for freedom in Toronto.
	No other baby monsters in sight, but lots of people wanted pictures with my sign, which is just a censored.tv t-shirt on a stick, which is a great idea, by the way.
	You get an XL t-shirt and you just wrap it around a placard, and now you have a really well-done sign.
	You can shove your vaccine mandates up your ass.
	Now have a look at this girl who is a fucking smoke show.
	And I'm impressed with her Gucci hat.
	You don't usually have Torontonians so stylish.
	Get fired.
	There it is.
	The sheep wearing a mask.
	Canada is fully redeemed as far as I'm concerned.
	Wow.
	They elected Justin Trudeau twice.
	I was very worried about them.
	But the way they're handling this COVID shit is an inspiration.
	Yeah.
	It's fucking great.
	It really is cool.
	I think they're handling it better than New Yorkers, Torontonians.
	This convoy.
	Actually, let's get to the final video.
	All right.
	Speaking of Canada kicking ass and taking names, how inspiring is this?
	Now, this is a video you can look up yourself.
	The beauty of it is look anywhere in the video.
	Drop the needle anywhere on the record.
	It's fucking amazing.
	Look at the people, the support here.
	And this is what we have to remember, not just about Canada, but about the West in general.
	When you hear these shrill lunatics, when you see the videos like we saw today of these polyamorous couples pretending they're normal, or you hear about everyone being racist and people getting canceled, and you think the world has lost its mind, we're under the tyranny of a shrill minority of lunatic leftists.
	This includes politicians, professors, pundits, the police's boss, academia in general, not just professors, the media.
	All of these people are all insane.
	They haven't experienced life.
	They don't talk to other people.
	They don't get out much.
	They just sit at their computers.
	They're tattletale journalists.
	They're publicists.
	They're not formally publicists, but they're doing the job of a publicist for the radical left.
	So they have the talking stick, but that doesn't mean they represent the rest of the country.
	We are the majority and we have to remember that.
	I know we're living in clown world, but if you actually go out there and talk to people, you'll be surprised how many sane Americans and Canadians and Brits and Australians there are out there.
	It's just that the ones with the talking stick are lying about where we are.
	This is who we are.
	Standing up to tyranny.
	This convoy is going, like if you drive across Canada, when you're in Ontario, it takes like two days to get past Ontario.
	And right now this convoy is covering all of Ontario.
	The front of it is in Ontario.
	The back of it is in Manitoba.
	Like it's miles upon miles long and it's getting nothing but support.
	This is amazing.
	We are fighting back.
	So have a good weekend.
	Feel inspired.
	Know that there is hope out there.
	Despite the lunatics running the asylum, the rest of us that aren't even in the asylum have had enough of this bullshit.
	We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore.
	So get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.

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