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Jan. 1, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:10:34

GOML LIVE #129 - HAPPY NEW YEAR

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	Oh, Jesus.
	We're already two calamities in and we've barely started the show.
	Oh, three calamities in.
	There's silica gel on the ground.
	What is happening with the monitors?
	Maybe you unpluggy and plug in again.
	Are people seeing?
	I don't care really if I can see myself.
	But I want...
	Oh, there we go.
	Welcome.
	Happy New Year, guys.
	Yeah.
	Happy New Year.
	Let's party.
	Are you ready to party?
	To be totally honest, we're getting older and we came up with this idea when we were drunk.
	And then tonight, Ryan was home watching Harry Potter and I was watching David Blaine's 2020 special with my son.
	Just kidding.
	We're fucking jazzed to rocket with you guys.
	That was Lil Nas X and his gay porn called Industry Baby, where he gyrates around in a jail cell with his bitches.
	Let's watch a little bit more of that because I think it's a fun.
	Oh, he's in it too?
	I thought that dude has some cred, yo.
	Oh, it's a making of kind of vibe.
	You know, this reminds me of what that new Rochelle dude that Maddie grew up with, Lord Jamal, was talking about with rap.
	And he's like, yo, you win rap's house when you make these songs.
	And don't fag out, Mack O'More.
	Now we have black dudes fagging out.
	All right, Rocky Start, Rocky Start.
	I can't really see without my glasses.
	Gay has no place in hip-hop.
	You know what I like about that?
	That he's right.
	I just like that it's unusual.
	I was saying this to an insider at Fox the other day because I saw that dude, that really boring professor that's always on Tucker's show, the bald guy, and he was talking about how California is a plantation.
	And I was like, before we even get into whether that's true or not, I just like that concept.
	As a commentator, ideally you're an artist and you're giving someone a new perspective.
	You know, an artist takes a toilet and then they put it on a pedestal.
	I don't know, they paint it gold or some shit and they put a human head in it and you go, oh yeah, a toilet.
	Yeah, I never really thought of a toilet.
	It's a terrible example, but a commentator should take something and present a new angle you never thought of before, whether you agree or not.
	Your job is to expand your brain.
	Like, Ann Coulter sent me this article years ago by Peter Brimelo about smoking, and it was in defense of smoking.
	And he goes, quite simply, if you're getting on a plane and your pilot's a smoker, would you rather he had just had a cigarette or not had a cigarette?
	And I was like, finally, something slightly outside the box.
	Like Holocaust denial, fucking race and IQ.
	I don't, I'm not scared of ideas.
	Present them to me.
	I'll refute them, obviously.
	If someone's defending pedophiles and saying, you know, they're just minor attracted people.
	They haven't actually fucked a kid yet.
	Good.
	Tell me more of your retarded ideas.
	Let me indulge.
	Even flat earthers, all that shit.
	Even this new thing where Biden said, and we'll get to this later, we got a lot of best of 2021 here.
	He said, this is the greatest economic success out of any president, past 50 presidents.
	And you're like, okay, let me parse that out.
	Because it's obviously, it has to be based in some reality.
	And I think the some reality is, you know, the economy's been going like this, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, up, up, up, up, up.
	And then we had this pandemic plunge.
	And then maybe like in the past, you know, couple, four months or something, there was a spike as we recovered or some businesses opened.
	So they zero in on that spike and they go, look, it went up 700% in three days.
	That's better than Nixon.
	And you go, yeah, you're not.
	That's not, that's not.
	You're cheating.
	But I like hearing.
	$700 billion and a trillion $300 million billion dollars.
	That never ends.
	The clip's still going.
	I have to cut it off.
	It actually goes on for $700,000 billion seconds.
	But yeah, this guy, what's his name again?
	Harold Manson, I want to say?
	You know the guy, the professor?
	Well, you don't know anything.
	I used to think he was a fucking snooze fest.
	But Victor Davis Hansen, California is a Confederate society, he said, with a sick fixation on race.
	Breitbart did a video.
	I can send this to you now, Ryan.
	And I'm like, let's get to whether I agree with that or not later.
	But thank you for presenting something new.
	You know, all this political discourse in this day and age is so fucking derivative.
	And then someone goes, think of California.
	The middle class is gone.
	It's Mexican workers toiling all day, and then these aristocrats reaping the benefits.
	That's a plantation.
	Yeah, it kind of is.
	Great point, Victor.
	Maybe I don't hate you anymore.
	Maddie O'Dell might show up.
	He's been sick since Christmas Day.
	Damn.
	That sounds like a pogue song, doesn't it?
	He's been sick since Christmas Day.
	We played ping pong in the basement.
	He was fucking knackered after.
	He could barely stand again.
	He said he's woozy.
	I love you, Maddie.
	Then I said, you better head home.
	I'm doing a Zoom call with my parents and my in-laws.
	He crawled into his van.
	I helped him down the stairs.
	He almost slipped and fell.
	If he did, it would have been my fault.
	If he shows up here tonight, he has not left his bed since December 25th.
	Jeez.
	Pretty bad.
	And I'm like, maybe I gave you COVID.
	And then I'm like, I've tested negative, but I think I had COVID.
	I think I had Ivermectrid.
	No, no, Omnicron.
	And I think these tests are bullshit.
	Why was it at the beginning they had to go into your brain and now you just like touch your nostril?
	Isn't that a weird thing?
	They just changed?
	I don't trust these results.
	Anyway, go back to this genius.
	The old Confederacy, they were obsessed with race.
	And it was one drople.
	Everybody was trying to figure out when a baby was born what the precise percentage is.
	And then they were a ranked society.
	And where I go, when I get my email in the morning, it's all about one thing, race.
	Race, race, race, race, race.
	I turn on the television, white privilege, white privilege.
	And then we have the same, can Elizabeth Warren pass as a minority?
	Can Ward Churchill pass?
	Can Rachel Dozo?
	It's like African Americans in the South pine to pass as white people.
	And it's just a sick fixation on our superficial appearance.
	It's very Confederate society, California.
	It's medieval feudal.
	There is no middle class.
	Medieval feudal.
	Thank you for that new take.
	While we're doing this, we should also watch Pete.
	Dude, I don't know what the fuck it is with my brain.
	I keep want to say Pete Best and Pete Libertine.
	I cannot.
	Pete Davidson.
	Pete Davidson.
	Pete Davidson.
	I'm cursed with his fucking name.
	Pete Davidson and Miley Cyrus, very easy name to remember.
	They've got a...
	Can you tune that in?
	Do you have the power?
	Sure, let's see.
	While you dig that up, of course, I'll show you today's post.
	End of an error.
	This is actually brilliant because New Yorkers, a lot of Long Islanders will pronounce error era.
	So End of an Era works perfectly.
	The headlines at the New York Post are abnormally good.
	They're disturbing.
	I'll never forget when they called Monica Lewinsky a Portley pepper pot.
	That's when I was like, I'm down for life.
	I'm in.
	They've got a big montage of all their de Blasio front pages.
	D-Train arrives, meaning douche, who's the boss.
	Wake up, Bill, to serve and reject when the cops wouldn't look at him.
	St. Putz.
	DeWaz.
	Deutschbag.
	Mayor feeds his ego in Germany.
	Where's my parade?
	De Blasio grapes.
	He's not getting credit.
	De Blasio runs for president.
	It's just a picture of people laughing their heads off.
	Everyone hates Bill.
	Anyway, I know a lot of you don't care about New York City, but it is a microcosm of the American problem.
	What's that now?
	That's it?
	So I, can I see some more of those dance moves?
	Let's dance it out.
	Yeah.
	Let's dance it out.
	Let's dance it out.
	Let's suck.
	Are you in old folks home?
	I did that once for Fox News.
	It is finding a white person in a haystack.
	It's all Chinese.
	You can't pee and you can't drink.
	So I don't know why you want to fucking be there.
	Oh, Ryan, do you have a big like 10, 9?
	No, I figured we would watch the live one, right?
	Because then we could see people react and stuff.
	Otherwise, but we have to do that.
	We gotta.
	We got it.
	We got it.
	We gotta.
	We got it.
	We gotta.
	So I want to do a green screen of the biggest lies of 2021.
	Could we just dive into that now?
	We could, we should.
	That seems crazy.
	You know what?
	Why not?
	Can I wear these and these?
	Sort of.
	Okay, I'm gonna walk over to the green screen section, play more of that gay porn that little Nas X put together.
	Gotcha.
	And let's do it.
	You can kind of see why blacks are so homophobic when you see that little Nas X video because you're like, wow, when blacks are out of the closet, it's pretty intense doing a fucking prison video about butt fucking.
	Anyway, that's not a lie.
	Biggest lies of 2021.
	Ryan, start with that fairy tales meme that I sent you that's been going around.
	That kind of sums up the culture of 2021.
	And it's tricky doing this because 2020 and 2019, Juicy Smole, Russia hoax.
	There's so many massive lies that have been going on.
	I would say since 2015, that it's hard to isolate just this last year.
	And there's also lies that sort of have kept going.
	Like Juicy started, I think it was 2019.
	It's still going now.
	So yeah, pull up the meme.
	It's right below the biggest lies of 2021.
	Got it.
	Got it?
	Okay.
	Okay, loading, loading.
	Got it coming.
	Fairy Tales 2021.
	Insurrectionist.
	And that was the Buffalo Man.
	Who our buddy, the lawyer, says...
	Ryan, you got the wrong little square in the corner.
	That should be me.
	Ian says he's a fucking genius, this guy.
	He says he's super smart.
	Ian Price, right?
	Who's the lawyer we had?
	What do you look like?
	John Pierce.
	John Pierce, yeah.
	He's like, this guy's fucking smart.
	Famous painter, shitty artist.
	He blows.
	He literally blows.
	He blows using a Coke straw.
	He blows watercolors onto a canvas.
	500 grand.
	I'm sure Damien Hearst and Banksy would be thrilled with those kind of numbers.
	No problem, buddy.
	You're in there.
	You're in the top 1% of painters.
	White supremacist?
	Fucking ridiculous.
	And Dad, if you're watching here, can you please stop saying white supremac?
	I don't know if you're doing it ironically, but it's getting on my nerves.
	Hate crime victim, of course, we all remember when Elliot Page was a woman and she started crying on Colbert and talking about how horrible it is that he got beat up, you stupid cunt.
	Keep going.
	SUV that drove itself, Wokeshaw.
	We're going to talk about that later, too.
	What's amazing about Wokeshaw, I was talking to a buddy and he goes, they were saying to him, hey, how's that Jan 6 going?
	It looks like you guys are all going to fucking jail.
	You know how you still have friends that are liberal, that are like high school friends?
	And they go, so my buddy's response was, oh, how's Waukesha going, Waukesha going for you?
	Murdering all those old grannies.
	And he goes, dude, that was a police chase that ended in Waukesha.
	And the guy made a bad left and ended up in a parade.
	Total and utter fucking lie.
	We'll get to that.
	Gun that shot itself.
	I mean, I don't really give a shit.
	Does anyone really give a shit about the Alec Baldwin thing?
	He's a douche, and I like when douches are in trouble, but it's sort of like the Jack Murphy thing, which we'll get to in a second.
	I don't really care.
	Humanitarian, of course.
	Ridiculous.
	Nothing to see here, Keelane Maxwell.
	I got a little side note to talk about with Keylane.
	And this might lose us subs.
	It might make you guys mad at me.
	By the way, Maddie rolled in while we were talking.
	I got to be honest, I don't really give a shit about the Jeffrey Epstein shit.
	I mean, if they were 12, 13, 14, if they were underage, then yeah.
	And I've heard rumors of underage, but every time I see someone, they're 17.
	That's the age of consent in America.
	And we live in a, I'm not into fucking teenagers, but we live in a culture where it's like the Beatles' best song, she was just 17, or the straight cat, sexy and 17.
	We had Jimmy Page and David Bowie fucking a 14-year-old groupie.
	I mean, you guys have been okay with fucking teens for a long time, and I haven't heard a peep about it.
	And we have this grooming going on with Pakistani Muslims in England where they're fucking 10-year-olds, 11-year-olds, 12-year-olds.
	And we have these teachers grooming young children talking about LGBT and Q and what's, are you polysexual?
	Like, I know, like, I don't want you fucking 17-year-olds, obviously, on a rich man's island, but part of me sort of goes like, where was the dad?
	The 17-year-old said, I'm going away for the weekend to a rich man's island?
	I don't know.
	It rubs me the wrong way.
	I'd rather you focused on pedophilia more than like teen sluts.
	Anyway, not a great take.
	I'm not proud of it, but I'm just telling you how I feel.
	I said it to my wife today, and she got super mad about blaming the victim.
	I don't know, man.
	What is this 17-year-old girl doing going to an island?
	When my girl's 17, she's not going to any rich guy's island.
	All right, let's start with number 10 biggest lies of 2021, and that is Biden's economy.
	We just talked about that a second ago.
	He has had the strongest first-year economic track record.
	Now, we just covered this.
	I already started butting the hand that feeds me, getting high on my own supply.
	But the only way that could possibly be true is if they're talking about a month after reopening businesses and all of a sudden, like a million businesses had customers.
	So that does seem like a misleading zhoop.
	That's what you got to do with these lies, too.
	Don't just go like the earth isn't flat.
	Find out why they think the earth is flat and then refute that particular claim.
	That's how you win arguments when they go like, bin Laden bombed the World Trade Center because he hated our foreign policy.
	And you go, yeah, I've heard that before.
	He hated all our policies.
	He hated America.
	He hated infidels.
	He hated anyone who wasn't Muslim.
	It's not about one particular move in Afghanistan or Israel.
	He's hated us since birth.
	Number nine: Hunter's laptop is fake.
	This was such a weird one.
	I didn't quite understand this.
	What's fake?
	It's not his laptop.
	Are the pictures photoshopped?
	And why all of a sudden are journalists so worried about where'd you get that?
	That seems to be a big thing now.
	They're always like, oh, you stole that.
	Or like with Biden's daughter's diary, James O'Keefe shouldn't have it.
	How'd he get that?
	It's wrong that he has that.
	Did that come up in Watergate?
	Was that a big thing with Deep Throat where you were worried about how they found that information?
	No one brought that up with Watergate.
	They went, really?
	Nixon's spying on everyone?
	I'm more interested in the details of Hunter's laptop, which we all know, but we never really got to the bottom of.
	Like that weird shit with Barack Obama's daughter.
	Remember that?
	It looked like her credit card was being used to cut lines.
	And then we've got like Biden's daughter's diary.
	Like, dad took a shower with me that was probably inappropriate.
	What?
	What do you mean?
	I want to hear more.
	Is our president a fucking pedophile?
	Is our president's son someone who fucks young girls?
	Like, yeah, Jeffrey Epstein levels.
	Why is there no attention on Hunter Biden allegedly fucking Barack Obama's girls and his nieces?
	But we're all worried about Ghillain Maxwell.
	To be, by the way, full disclosure, I went to Jeffrey Epstein Island many times and I fucked a bunch of 17-year-olds.
	I feel like that's going to come out soon.
	I should probably just get it out of the way now.
	But I'm obviously concerned about that coming out.
	It's going to be embarrassing.
	When it says Kevin McGinnis in the flight logs, that's me.
	Number eight, of course, the Russia hoax.
	This is kind of a tricky one because it's been going on for so long.
	Hey, where'd I go?
	But it was this year that we saw the man that Hillary worked with charged for...
	And again, we remember the whole Russia hoax, right?
	They make up a fake steel dossier that says some dumb shit about Trump wanting prostitutes to take a piss on a bed that Barack Obama had been on or was going to be on.
	What?
	And then they use that to justify spying on the entire Trump campaign.
	Wow.
	So this guy was finally charged for that idiotic concept.
	I'm holding the mic like Louis C.K., by the way.
	Dude, his special is so fucking good.
	There's one woke moment, and I'm at the point now where I have to just accept that there's one woke moment.
	It's like being in India and knowing you're going to get diarrhea with every meal.
	Like with James Bond, there was the woke moment where the black chick drives around in the scooter, and then they get in that glider, and he goes, have you ever driven one of these before?
	And she goes, no, never.
	And then she drives.
	Like, why is she fucking driving?
	She has 007.
	So that was annoying, but it was only like two minutes in the whole thing.
	So I'll take it.
	With Louis C.K., there's one moment where he goes, I like that there's tons of genders, and I think that's cool, and you can be whatever you want to be.
	Fuck you.
	That's retarded, but I'll take it.
	I don't mind.
	Just a second.
	My goal now is to minimize the wokeness to less than two minutes per hour and a half.
	So yeah, Russia hoax, hugest lie of 2021 and 2020 and 2019.
	Like a lot of these go back.
	Juicy Smoolet has been on this list for five years, or sorry, three years.
	Number seven, build back better is free.
	I mean, when they said this shit, it's like, you're not even fucking trying.
	You're going to spend trillions of dollars and it won't cost the taxpayer a penny.
	What?
	I did the math today.
	Most people agree that it would be $5 trillion, right?
	Bill Beppe Hedrak, including more than $2 trillion in spending tax cuts.
	No, the total bill is $5 trillion.
	That's $15,000 per American.
	And when we say per American, we mean babies.
	We mean hood rats.
	We mean old ladies in fucking funeral homes, in old folks' homes.
	So not everyone has $15,000 to toss around.
	So it's actually a lot more for you and me.
	Number six, the Waukesha police chase.
	We just discussed that.
	Have we got the actual guy, the police chief who's black, saying, no, that wasn't me?
	Yeah, maybe you should just cut me out when you show these, Ryan, so we get to see the actual text.
	Not for too long.
	I don't want to be erased.
	I'm not trans.
	But have you got the clip there?
	Number six?
	It's not like there was sort of a police chase.
	No, no, no.
	Wait, that's the old clip, dude.
	How did you get that?
	I erased that.
	What the fuck?
	That's in the version that I have.
	That's so fucking weird.
	What the fuck?
	Wait.
	No, did you get...
	Did you take it from the notes I just sent you before we started the show?
	Oh, no, I have it in the separate green screen.
	So get it from the notes I sent you just before we started the show.
	There's been updates, my friend.
	There's been updates.
	By the way, Miley Cyrus is rocking out right now with some lesbian in a 70s vest.
	Yeah.
	Someone's missing that.
	No, she's too skinny.
	Sorry.
	That looks so fun.
	I'm so jealous.
	Don't you wish you could be there right now waving your arms in the air?
	There we go.
	Provide an update.
	At 4.39 p.m. on Sunday, November 21st, 2021, a lone subject intentionally drove his maroon SUV through barricades into a crowd of people that was celebrating the Wakershark Christmas Parade, which resulted in killing five individuals and injuring 48 additional individuals.
	I just received information that two of the 48 are children and they're in critical condition.
	We have information that the suspect prior to the incident was involved in a domestic disturbance, which was just minutes prior, and the suspect left that scene just prior to our arrival to that domestic disturbance.
	When the suspect was driving through into the crowd, one officer did discharge his firearm and fire shots at the suspect to stop the threat, but due to the amount of people had to stop.
	Can you hold on for a sec?
	So what the media did was they said, well, he had been in a domestic disturbance before this, and then there was that.
	Ergo, I'm going to assume there was a police chase, and that was on NPR, CNN.
	Everyone just assumed there was a police chase.
	And that's a big part of why this was just erased from the media books.
	Why was it erased?
	Is everyone petrified of a race war?
	Are they petrified that this terrible behavior from black Americans is going to be, one of them is going to be a tipping point that makes all the fucking rednecks grab their guns?
	I'm not joking.
	I think that might be the impetus.
	They're just like, I'm going to sweep this under the rug for the greater good.
	Well, fuck the greater good.
	I want to know what happened.
	And what happened was he was not being chased.
	And your job as a journalist is to tell us what happened, not just go, I don't know, maybe there was a police chase?
	Keep going.
	Oh, finally got it in the front of the stop and fire no did not fire any other additional shots The officer is on administrative leave as part of the department protocol no one was injured as a result of the officer firing his discharge in his fire weapon firearm the subject was taken into custody a short distance from the scene and we are confident he acted alone there's no evidence that this is a terrorist incident due to the wind yesterday wait
	have biden saying look man i got this under control trump is killing you all if you elect me i will come up with a plan that will end covid in america and then just this month he went i don't i don't I don't have a,
	I don't know, fuck this.
	I don't know what's going on.
	I give up.
	He gave up.
	He said, I don't have a plan.
	And what's amazing about this new Joe Rogan is this doctor who helped develop the vaccine.
	He was just kicked off Twitter.
	He goes, we had plans.
	We had all kinds of processes involving ivermectrin, hydroxychloroquine, all kinds of therapeutic treatments that would help you cure your ales.
	And Big Pharma said, no, we want the vaccine.
	So let them get sick.
	And then, Ryan, you're playing it on the wrong fucking screen.
	No, I'm saying it up.
	Oh, let them get sick and then give them the vaccine.
	So this guy, what's his name?
	Robert Malone?
	Peter McCullough.
	No, no, that was the previous guy.
	This is a new guy.
	This is just released today.
	Peter Malone.
	No, what's his name?
	Robert Malone, yeah.
	So Robert Malone goes, I think at least half a million deaths were the direct result of Big Pharma and their best, their PR firm, the media, and of course the DNC saying, yeah, fuck treating these people early.
	Let's wait till they get really sick and then give them this awesome vaccine we can all get rich on.
	I mean, we're getting to Stalinist levels of fucking murder here.
	Well, he was more like 40 million, but we're creeping along.
	We're getting there, folks.
	We're getting there.
	It's like in Quebec tonight, you can't party actually anymore, right?
	What time is it?
	It's 11 o'clock.
	No more partying.
	You could party till 10 in Montreal, in Quebec City, in all of Quebec, in Royan-Niranda.
	But at 10.01, no more drinks are served.
	You got to be out of there by 11.
	And it reminds me of this Chilean faggot I knew named Maurizio who said he grew up under Pinochet, and they had a similar 10 to 5 curfew.
	So you'd be at a party, actually, I think it was later.
	It may have been like midnight.
	But you're at a party, and you have to sort of look around at the party and be like, is this worth staying till 5 a.m.?
	Because if I don't leave now, I can't leave till 5.
	And if it was really fun, you'd go, yeah, let's do it.
	Let's stay.
	Let's stay.
	And I thought, that's such a funny, weird life under a dictator thing.
	Life under Pinochet, the man who threw communists out of helicopters.
	And God bless his cotton socks for that, by the way.
	And then here we are in North America, in the West, and you have to look around at a party in your house at 10 and be like, is this worth staying till 5?
	Because you cannot be out at midnight.
	You may not be on the streets.
	You will get arrested.
	How's Rachel Maddow coming along?
	Still not loaded.
	Still not loading.
	Can you try somewhere else?
	What's going on with Pete and Miley?
	Is this fine?
	I don't think it'll work.
	It's acting like a cunt.
	I don't know.
	I tried to make it work, but it's being a cunt.
	By the way, Louie, your banana joke on the new special is exquisite.
	Oh, thank you.
	I appreciate it.
	I'm Louie CK.
	Yeah, that's clear.
	Let's hear Miley and Pete being funny, though.
	I don't even know how to smoke this thing.
	What do you suck it?
	No clue.
	I've never done any drugs.
	But didn't she used to do Molly all the time?
	It was Tums.
	Oh, shoot.
	I forgot we're supposed to go on Instagram live.
	What up, party?
	This is like the 70s all over there.
	Paul Lynn come out soon.
	Man, I'm not even from Staten Island.
	I lie about that.
	Really?
	Yeah, this isn't even my real voice.
	This is my real voice.
	Hello, I'm Pete Davidson.
	My ideal night consists of a quiet gathering, white-wide little chases and some scrabble.
	This is my real voice.
	Hello, I'm Miley Cyrus.
	I'm a gamer.
	Give me some Minecraft and a headset, and I'm happy as a clam.
	This is the past.
	We're normies.
	Oh, dang.
	We gotta go live again.
	Oh, Jesus.
	It's almost New Year's, baby, and we're so warny and drunk.
	And you know we're hitting the club after this.
	And we're gonna be.
	But jokes should be based on reality.
	These guys are drug addicts.
	He is from Staten Island.
	Shut up.
	Okay.
	Number four.
	Climate change is our greatest threat.
	We talked about this the other day.
	We were looking at the temperatures of the summers and we went, yeah, it has been slightly warm recently.
	Not really, though.
	And it's been up and down all over the place.
	The planet's 4.5 billion years old.
	Climate change is not a threat.
	And I'm sick of these old, and I'm sorry, they're predominantly Jewish.
	These geriatrics saying, we're not going to have a planet for the kids.
	Oh my God, there's going to be nothing for our great-grandchildren.
	I still don't know what the fuck that means.
	Does that mean deserts from coast to coast?
	Is there a planet here at all?
	Does it just blow up one day?
	It gets so hot.
	So fuck off with your climate change.
	Anyone who believes that is retarded and anyone who watches the way they've been treating COVID shows you that they'll take anything, racism, COVID, climate change, anything to scare you into tyranny.
	Number three, of course, my favorite one, we cover it almost to a fault on the show, white supremacy is the greatest threat to America.
	My favorite study, of course, well, first of all, let's show the article just to assure you that people are saying this retarded shit, implying that there's just like thousands of deaths.
	Even when I look at their bullshit data, like the ADL, it's like there was 34 deaths this year from white supremacy.
	And you look it up, and it's like some fucking drunk redneck killed someone that was fucking his girlfriend, and he happened to be have a Confederate flag in his lawn.
	Even that is 34 a year.
	Blacks are killing each other to the tune of 20 a day.
	20 a day is nothing compared to the opioid epidemic, compared to obesity.
	So big pharma and fucking fast food is killing way more, exponentially more people, but we focus on white supremacy.
	And it's not 34 a year.
	It's three.
	There are three people dying a year from white supremacy.
	Look at these attacks.
	So the dark, the blue is attacks, and then the dark numbers are actual deaths.
	Look at these numbers.
	Seven, one, nine, five.
	That's fucking spider bites, assholes, and snake bites.
	If you were scared of white supremacists, you were scared of spiders.
	They are the same threat.
	Actually, spiders and snakes are about twice white supremacy.
	White supremacy is about three, hence us choosing it as number three.
	Number two, of course, COVID deaths are Trump's fault.
	And we kind of covered this earlier.
	But Biden said, I have a plan here.
	I'm going to solve all your problems if you elect me.
	All of these deaths are because Trump doesn't have a plan.
	I have a plan.
	And then later, he's got no plan.
	So we did already cover that.
	Wait, this is number two, Ryan.
	How do you make so many mistakes every day?
	I was checking up on Madow.
	And what's happening with it?
	It's spinning buttons.
	It's a little looping.
	Trying to see what they were saying in there.
	Maybe I could search it.
	What if you look up in Google Madow vaccine, I don't know, blunder?
	And then, and I don't want to distract this with Maddow, so let's do that in a second.
	Let's focus here.
	We're at the number one biggest lie in America in 2021.
	It started at the beginning of 2021, a mere six days in, and that was that the meandering was an insurrection.
	What the fuck are you talking about?
	About 200 angry, disgruntled patriots who were pissed off about the election, which there's plenty to be pissed off about.
	They're mad at the media.
	They feel that they were robbed and they vandalized a building.
	They broke some windows.
	Feds were heavily involved in this meandering, in this vandalism.
	We know Antifa was involved.
	John Sullivan appeared on CNN and bragged about how he dressed up as a MAGA guy and smashed windows and got people attacked.
	They told us that five cops died that day.
	Five people were killed.
	No, two people were killed.
	It was our people.
	Ashley Babbitt was shot in the neck.
	Another woman right here, actually, you see her, was hit with a baton and eventually trampled to death.
	We were the victims of our own meandering.
	An insurrection in the world's most powerful country with no weapons and no plan is clearly not an insurrection.
	Oh, no, I'm not saying you were going to take over the government.
	I'm saying you were trying to fuck up that day's work.
	Okay.
	The radical left, first of all, that's not true that we were doing that.
	But secondly, the radical left have been fucking up that day's activities for two years now with no prosecution, nothing, not even probation.
	So go fuck yourselves.
	I'm sorry that we misbehaved.
	It won't happen again.
	You've thrown us all in the fucking shoe for a year.
	No trial, nothing for vandalism.
	And the idea that it's an insurrection is not just the biggest lie of 2021, but it is the biggest lie of modern American culture.
	Go fuck yourself.
	Oh, shit.
	So, against all odds, Maddie Odell is here, ladies and gentlemen.
	He's probably not focused, Ryan, if you were aiming that camera at the green screen.
	But I can't believe you're here, Maddie.
	Yeah.
	Is that good?
	I don't know.
	I didn't come initially because I thought other people were going to be.
	I thought Emily and other people and other people were going to be here.
	So I didn't want to come in and fact.
	So you don't want to be here?
	No.
	But I've been sick for six days now.
	Have you left your bed for six days?
	No.
	Well, yeah, I mean, I went to the living room and the bathroom.
	Stuff like that.
	Oh, we could hear you, right?
	Yeah.
	Hello?
	Put the light on him.
	He's super dark.
	God, you're so dumb.
	Yeah, um.
	It was a fucked up week, but, you know.
	Like, what were your symptoms?
	No, no, that's not working, dude.
	That's weird.
	Get it more to his face.
	When I left your house on Christmas, I was all my...
	It was funny when I went home and checked all my monitors and metrics.
	Remember when I got up and was dizzy?
	Yeah.
	For between like 1 o'clock and 2 o'clock during those times, everything was through the roof.
	1 a.m.?
	No, no, in the afternoon.
	But you were at my house at 1.
	12 o'clock.
	I got there.
	12 to 3.
	Oh, so you were checking your...
	When I got home, I was looking through.
	But I thought you got home later in the afternoon.
	Yeah, like 3.30.
	Okay, so you were checking your stats.
	When I got home, because I was like, why am I. Oh, I see.
	You can.
	I'm sorry.
	So you look back and you see my work.
	And I looked and I printed up some of the things.
	I was like, everything just went through the roof.
	Like all my stress level, everything just went up.
	And then I just went home and I crashed out and I slept for like 14 hours from that to Sunday.
	And I got up, felt like shit.
	I was supposed to go do something on Monday at work.
	Called in and said, I'm not coming to dome.
	I'm done.
	Shot.
	But my buddy, he had tested positive too.
	He's like, oh, I'm positive too.
	So, huh?
	Yeah, but my symptoms start off sore throat, achy body, stuffy nose, cough, congestion, and just real bad fatigue.
	So for like the first three days, I didn't leave bed really at all.
	Not to eat, sleep, just get up, use the bathroom, and that was it.
	So that's, it sounds like you had Omnicron and you.
	You had a shitty immune system, so you took it as bad as a COVID.
	Yeah.
	I would say, and I was kind of laughing about it because I said, it was just about this time last year, because January 2nd, I was in the hospital with COVID last year.
	It's almost a year to the day.
	I got a year and a half for you.
	Do you want a hat and a blower?
	So, uh, yeah.
	You know, it sucks.
	I mean, I'm still nasally and congested and stuff.
	But I think they cut the incubation time or time down to five days or some shit.
	So.
	So how did you feel tonight before you took any medication?
	I've been taking NyQuil for the last four or five days, every four hours.
	And I was doing my nebulizer breathing treatments.
	What chiefly?
	My nebulizer.
	Oh, right.
	Why don't you take some fucking horse paste?
	Because I don't have a thing for ivermectin.
	Well, get it.
	I didn't go to the doctors.
	Why not?
	Because they don't treat.
	They don't do anything.
	Yeah, they're going to want to stick you with a bunch of bullshit.
	Well, that's what that Robert Malone dude was saying.
	He was like, they don't.
	There's no treatment.
	So let me know when you're at your, when your cancer's metastasized.
	You've seen me last year when I went to the hospital.
	It was the worst fucking 10 days of my life.
	Locked in a fucking COVID ward.
	I had no roommate and like nobody could come in.
	I spent like $500 on fucking Grubhub ordering food and having to beg the nurses to go downstairs and get it because the drivers can't come up to the room.
	It's fucking terrible.
	And they're not.
	And they didn't treat you for you.
	Did they give you any drugs?
	No, they, well, I, because I have asthma also.
	I was asking for my nebulizer and they're like, no, no, we can't give you nebulizers because it spreads the COVID around.
	I'm like, I don't give a fuck.
	I'm in a room by myself.
	Fuck am I going to spread it to?
	Yeah, what did they mean it spreads it around?
	They didn't want to give me that.
	They gave me, I made them, they tried to give me, because when I was there, you know, I was a little, had a little anxiety and I was a little upset and trying to think am I going to, you know, all my underlying medical conditions.
	And so I was getting a little irate with some of the doctors.
	But I did have a little baby monster moment there, two nights.
	I think I told you about it.
	Because they didn't want to give me anything.
	I was like, listen, give me something to fucking sleep.
	Give me, I don't care what it is.
	So the guy gives me Ambien.
	So I slept for like an hour and that was it.
	And I was like, the next day I said, yeah, I said, I don't give a fuck if you give me a shot of do something, anything.
	Knock me the fuck out.
	And they're like, oh, we can't give you that because we've got to worry about your respiration and your heart and blah, blah, blah.
	I'm like, I'll sign off any papers you want.
	I want to fucking sleep.
	So they gave me a shot of, I don't know what the fuck it was, some kind of fucking painkiller to knock me the fuck out to get some fucking rest.
	Jeez.
	Wow.
	What an absolute fucking mess.
	Yeah.
	It's crazy.
	But I don't want to relive that this year.
	So I've decided not to go.
	And how many people have died from that?
	Oh, here we go.
	Louis C.K. Oh, no.
	I was going to say that I had COVID too.
	And this is how I hold my microphone.
	What happened was I had diarrhea.
	And it was coming out of my gun.
	And it was shit and piss and gun.
	Okay, that's pretty rude.
	This is a family show.
	We have kids watching.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I didn't know.
	Yeah.
	Well.
	It's good to go, Louie.
	Jesus.
	Don't do that ever again.
	Fucking Louie stinks.
	At the end of his special, he's playing the song, How Does It Feel by Bob Dylan, which must have cost $9 billion.
	And right as he's leaving the stage, right as the credits are coming up, he just goes, How does it feel?
	He mouths those words.
	And I was like, that's fucking brilliant.
	Because he was a pariah.
	He was locked inside his house for years.
	He couldn't go outside.
	He needed a mask to leave the house.
	And we all went, haha, you jerked off with someone's consent.
	Fuck you.
	And then he was like, you just experienced my life for two years.
	How does it feel?
	You like that?
	Sucks, right?
	I get it.
	What was his big thing?
	What did he do that was so terrible?
	Like, canceled him and all that shit?
	He beat off in front of women with their consent.
	Do you mind if I jerk off?
	Not even like neutral masturbation.
	No, they would just, they would stand there by the door going, okay?
	And he would just beat off.
	They could have said no.
	They could have left.
	It's not my cup of tea, but I don't have a problem with it.
	They don't care.
	I don't care what if it's consensual and you're adults.
	I couldn't.
	I don't care if you eat feces.
	What?
	Why does anyone give a shit?
	And they go, well, they didn't really mean yes.
	What happened was he was famous and he was using his power.
	And you're like, he wasn't famous back then.
	And I don't care how powerful you are.
	If Tom Ford, the most powerful fag in the world, said to me, Can I beat off and stare at you?
	I'd be like, Nope, I wouldn't be mad.
	I might even be flattered.
	I'd be like, sorry, dude, that's not my cup of tea.
	But, well, I could make censored.tv very popular.
	Well, there must be another thing we could do, commercials, maybe a podcast.
	But I'm not having sex with you.
	Sorry, I'm not a prostitute.
	The end.
	The fucking end, you pussies.
	I know a guy who sued Captain Klein for that and won.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, yeah, he was a male model.
	And he wanted to sleep with him.
	He was like, I'm not gay.
	I'm sorry.
	And he got all fucking twisted and sued him.
	He didn't get that much money, though.
	See, I'm not for that.
	Like, you could say whatever you want to me.
	Like, I could go outside and this guy could be like, hey, if you take a shit on me, I'll give you a million dollars.
	Yeah.
	I'd be like, sorry.
	I guess Calvin Klein or whatever fucked with his future endeavors.
	Or that he already was designed to a campaign or whatever with him, whatever.
	But he ended up suing him and he won.
	Yeah, like people go, no, no, it got to the point where her whole career would be over if she didn't fuck him.
	And I'm like, okay, get a new career.
	I can't tell you how many MAGA people I know who have been canceled.
	35 Proud Boys at least that I have on file.
	Like, I don't know how many else there are.
	Probably at least twice that.
	They lost, not just like they can't work at Arby's anymore.
	They can't do tattoos anymore.
	Those guys just got new shit.
	That's why I love being uncancelable.
	This is genius.
	Anytime somebody gets sued, they just make a suede product and then you can't type in sued.
	It just comes with suede.
	Oh, great idea.
	Dang.
	Oh, wait.
	We have an enter in stone here.
	Jack Murphy.
	Oh, yes.
	People keep asking us.
	So I'm not going to not talk about this.
	That would be gay.
	Jack Murphy, we had him on the show.
	We sat right here, talked a lot.
	I knew he had a very sexual past.
	He's got like a bunch of kids with different women.
	I'm not a fan of that, but he seemed to be getting it together.
	I sort of loosely brought it up and he shut it down during our interview.
	So whatever.
	I guess Sidney Watson, who does slightly offensive with Elijah Schaefer, she had done like a pube more research than me, but not a lot.
	I bet she mentioned that she was interviewing Jack Murphy and someone said, ask him about this.
	And he'd written an article many, many years ago about how he is into cuck stuff, like watching someone fuck his wife or his girlfriend, whatever.
	I guess that's in the article.
	That's not my cup of tea, obviously.
	But I don't fucking care if that's what you do.
	I've known cucks.
	Fat Mike of Fat Records, he likes to get zipped up into a fucking rubber bag and have his wife roll around and kick him around.
	Okay.
	Dave MDC, the singer of MDC, he likes, he's in a band called The Submissives.
	Like the cover of their album is them tied up and getting beaten by a woman and stood on and all that stuff.
	I've actually sort of tried it a couple times.
	Like I remember as a young man, this girl like tied my wrists with a rope and she put like an ice cube all over my body.
	And I was just like, I undid the ropes really quickly and like the ice cube, my teeth were chattering and I was like, if I was into that, I'd be into it, but I'm not.
	So whatever.
	But you know, Roger Stone, for example, I don't know what he's into, but I've noticed every time I talk about perverts, he goes, well, chacu sangou, as they say in French, each to his own taste.
	So I don't know what other people get up to sexually, I don't give a fuck.
	But anyway, Sidney said in their interview, she goes, Sao, what, with her weird, like Australian-American accent, she goes, Sao, what is with this kakorku?
	And I genuinely think she's a naive and nice girl.
	I know her.
	And she was not going for a gotcha moment, which if something's public, you're kind of allowed a gotcha moment.
	And you're also allowed to do it if you phrase it like that.
	Like she didn't dig up something from high school that no one knew about that a private investigator dug up.
	The article is out there.
	So he goes, fuck you for mentioning that.
	Fuck you.
	Heartfelt.
	That's a little rich.
	And then a bunch of porn came out that he's in.
	And I guess he was on this site called Chadsterbait, which is the weirdest shit ever.
	I watched a ton of it.
	I've watched his wife, which was his girlfriend back then, lick his butthole.
	Tongue fuck his ass as he beats off.
	Tosses Sally.
	I've seen it.
	But what you do is, I guess you're like a cam girl, but you're a couple.
	And you fuck each other.
	And I guess people on the chat, I don't know if they're showing you sex too, but I think they just say like, well, you lick his butthole.
	Here's 10 bucks.
	Yeah.
	Because I think during the thing, he was like, $69 for a $69.
	So you're watching someone you know fuck.
	Which, I mean, I've had threesomes.
	It doesn't really bother me to see other people fuck.
	But I couldn't help but think about their kids.
	Like, if there was a video of my wife tongue fucking my ass, I'd be like, really hope the kids don't stumble upon this.
	Oh, man.
	But besides that, I don't really give a shit about any of this.
	Yeah, me neither.
	It was so weird because it's like the most salacious thing I've like ever heard.
	But I also don't care.
	And I didn't watch it just out of his privacy.
	I didn't watch it out of the privacy of the man.
	You know, I'm not like that.
	I thought of not doing that, but then I thought, I want to watch this.
	Yeah.
	Like, if I knew Maddie was in a gay porn, I wouldn't be like, no, thank you.
	I'd be like, ooh, and then I'd sort of be like, hey, fella.
	I wouldn't go like not watching it.
	But it would also be weird that like they, it wasn't a hidden camera.
	Right, right, right, right.
	And here's the other weird thing about, I've never seen this kind of porn before, but as they're sucking and fucking, they're not looking at each other.
	Oh, really?
	Their eyes are over here on the screen, so they're like looking and they're beating off and they're blowing, and they're always like, Yeah, and I don't know what's on the screen.
	I guess it's like, oh, yeah, suck that dick.
	The comments or something?
	Yeah, so you're just looking at comments.
	I don't, I don't get it.
	But obviously, you knew if you were doing a sexual video and people were paying for it, that it's going to be out there.
	Yeah.
	So anyway, that went viral, and there's like 50 of these videos.
	And Jack was like, I'm going to fucking sue you.
	This is revenge porn.
	And you're like, no, no, revenge porn is private images between two people that get out.
	This was like, it's sort of like, you know, every time I would take pictures of people or film people on the street, they'd go, I don't give you permission.
	And I'd go, you're in a public place.
	You knew some people would see you.
	Well, now more people are going to see you.
	There's no expectation of privacy in public.
	Yeah.
	And this happened in, it was actually a president-setting case in Montreal where this couple was having an affair.
	And it was a guy holding his mistress's hand.
	And they were like this.
	And it said, springing into spring or something in the Montreal Gazette.
	And that was his mistress.
	His wife saw it.
	They sued.
	And the judge said, look, you're holding your mistress's hand.
	You're jumping through the weeds in the park.
	You knew 100 people were going to see you.
	Well, now 100,000 people saw you.
	So your problem is going to happen.
	I'm going to have a chance to take a picture.
	Yeah.
	Sorry.
	It was a staged event.
	Got to be quick on your feet.
	Yeah.
	If you're fucking hiding in your living room and someone jumps in and takes a picture of you, I get it.
	What is this weird little patch?
	It's very distracting.
	It's ruining 2022.
	Yeah, we're getting a lot of comments about that.
	Really?
	No.
	That's funny, though.
	That would be amazing.
	So we're meant to bring that up.
	Right.
	And there's all this porn of Jack Murphy.
	And now, because he's threatening to sue people and he's saying, you know, find out dirt on these, on Elijah's getting attacked, Sydney's getting attacked.
	It's a huge fucking thing.
	And Jack, if you're watching, dude, when something like that comes up, don't say fuck you.
	You go, I've had a crazy past and it's been a crazy journey to get here.
	And I look back at the shit I did back then and I go, yeah.
	That's all you got to do.
	It's like, not a big deal.
	Now, now with Louis C.K., he said that, and they said, fuck you, you're still canceled.
	So, but I know what doesn't help, and that's attacking the people who innocently brought it up, not trying to frame you.
	You know what'd been great?
	What?
	He could have broke the internet when she was like, what about that cock article?
	And he was like, and then from that moment, he just had a Mexican accent.
	He addressed it.
	He made videos.
	He's like, listen, people, that was a long time ago.
	I don't stand by it.
	And now it's about masculinity, right?
	It's about the families together.
	And show, what I did was gross, nasty.
	I don't like it.
	And then just never talk about that he's turned Mexican.
	Ryan's advice.
	Yeah.
	So you can take anyone's advice.
	You got mine.
	I said, like, just say I made some mistakes, whatever, I got here.
	Or you can take Ryan's advice and pretend that you're Mexican.
	For the rest of it, yeah.
	Never break character.
	Whatever you want.
	That's the important part.
	Never break character.
	Whatever you want.
	But I just, I wouldn't be aggressive if there's.
	Plus, you get the Streisand effect.
	And I'm sitting there like hiding from my kids watching Jack get his butthole licked as he jerks off.
	Right.
	Well, whatever.
	Say kumsa, whatever they say.
	Oh, look.
	Amazing.
	What we have here is moments, the best moments, 20 seconds of the best moments of GOML.
	Okay, look at that.
	We got an ascot on.
	I haven't worn that in a while.
	And this is actually from Free Speech Days.
	Oh, okay.
	Not allowed to say that anymore.
	Let's hit it.
	Okay, here we go.
	Great moment from 2021.
	This doesn't look like 2021.
	In fact, women should watch these movies that men are in and go, that's my little guys running around stopping bank robbers.
	I love it.
	I love you guys.
	But no, we keep talking about women as men, and I'm sorry, ladies, but you make shitty men.
	It's just like Clark Kent.
	He's not a good journalist.
	That was 20 seconds of one of the best moments of, well, that was 2020.
	But some of them.
	That was great.
	That was almost as good as your Mexican advice.
	So you're bookending that, right?
	You're not going to show us another one.
	Right.
	Plenty more.
	Speaking of best of 2021, I don't really got a lot.
	Like, I tried to do the best TV shows, best movies, and I looked up the New York Post, had a bunch today, and I was like, nah, those are gay.
	Those suck.
	So don't get your hopes up, folks.
	And Ryan and Maddie, if you have any others, I'm happy to.
	Sure, sure.
	Best new co-host on GO Mail Live.
	Yeah.
	Maddie.
	Maddie O'Dell.
	Man crawls out of bed after six days.
	I had to wear a hat because I was laying in the couch.
	What were your bowel movements like?
	Few and far between.
	Just like a little raisin every fucking day.
	Yeah, because I was 30 hours.
	I was kind of just the first three days, literally, I just slept.
	Water, slept, medicine.
	And then my cousin went and my sister got me food and everything.
	You know what it was?
	Yayo went and got the booster shot and then came home and he was sick for like four days before Christmas.
	And I think I got it from him.
	No way.
	Yeah.
	Because I see you got to go get that fucking stupid booster shot.
	And he was knocked out for like four days, coughing and hacking all over the apartment.
	And I was like, oh.
	Then I started it.
	That booster doesn't sound like good news, man.
	No.
	I think God has handled this.
	I think God went, you know what?
	You guys are getting on my nerves.
	I'm just going to give you Omnicron.
	It's a mini vax.
	It's a mini COVID.
	You're all going to get it.
	And I don't want to hear any more of this.
	The thing is, everyone that I've spoken to, literally everyone that I know, is sick.
	Sick.
	I've had a little diarrhea, but that went away.
	I was having diarrhea for a while, and it didn't smell like poo.
	It smelled like coins or metallic, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Hmm.
	Interesting.
	Mine smelt weird, but not like coins.
	So maybe there's something there.
	There's probably smelled like kimchi, I'd imagine.
	I did make a kimchi stew, but it didn't smell like kimchi.
	It smelted weird.
	I'm not even going to tell you.
	Like, I liked What We Do in the Shadows.
	I liked The White Lotus.
	I thought Nobody was a good movie.
	Movies to watch with the kids.
	I like No Time to Die besides those two woke things.
	Venom was good to watch with the kids.
	Corella's good to watch with your daughter.
	Luca's good to watch with your son.
	Brought up Squid Game.
	Does that make sense?
	Squid Games was good.
	Do you need me to tell you this?
	I think you were around.
	Hanging out with Tactical Tim?
	Tactical Tim was a lot to handle.
	That man loves to chat.
	Great guy.
	Wait, what was I going to say about that?
	No Time to Die.
	No Time to Die.
	Venom, Cruella.
	You liked Venom?
	Yeah, it was good.
	I mean, for a kid, like, I don't want to watch it on my own.
	Right.
	You do.
	I did see it, yes.
	But I don't watch children's shows.
	Why didn't you love it?
	It just seemed kind of gay, too.
	Like, a dude's in you.
	Oh, yeah, that is good.
	At all times.
	Right.
	And it's a black dude.
	It's a black alien dude.
	That sounds like hell on earth.
	You don't have your own thoughts?
	I would just kill myself.
	Nobody, although it's clear Bob Odenkirk was lying.
	Oh, whatever.
	I forgot.
	Here's something I've been wanting to talk about.
	And we're getting close to 2021.
	Holy crap.
	Yeah, 20 minutes here.
	But this woke ubiquity, like, it's in fucking everything.
	And I just want to escape it.
	So in the past week, I've said to my wife, I just want to get away from race and fucking woke and everything.
	So I get like a bird magazine just about birds.
	I wish I could, birds to me are like guitars.
	Like I wish I could play, but I just, I can't remember all their fucking names.
	I wish I could be a bird guy.
	So I'm reading about these birds.
	And then there's an article in there about a river in Mexico.
	Okay.
	I guess a lot of birds like to go there when it gets cold.
	And there's this professor, Silver was his name.
	And then this quote was in there.
	Silver likens the river's survival of the Trump years to a patient living through a heart attack.
	The river runs in the U.S. and down to Sonora in Mexico.
	What?
	So Trump almost ruined this river by, I don't know, being a racist?
	And I'm trying to read about fucking birds.
	And then I got that book I told you about for Christmas, my one present.
	By the way, if my family's watching, a little scant on the Prezis this year.
	A fucking book?
	Ryan got me more.
	But it's Ralph Stebman is one of my favorite artists, and he did this book about critters, and it's all about endangered critters, whatever.
	So they, I just, I like looking at his drawings.
	I don't really care what he's drawing.
	But like you're reading it, and there's this thing about the Bonobo monkeys, right?
	These are the ones that...
	Bonobos.
	Bonobos.
	They're the ones that are the most like us.
	They're so sexually active.
	Yeah, they're monogamous, too, I think.
	They settle down, I believe.
	They talk all the time, though.
	So I'm reading about them, and they go, the bonobos are a matriarchy.
	They're run by the women.
	Maybe we could learn a thing or two from them.
	And I'm like, oh, for fuck's sake.
	It's a monkey book.
	Stop.
	And so I'm like, all right, I've had enough.
	I told you about Louis C.K. I told you about James Bond.
	The equalizer, of course, is the funniest example of that, where Queen Latifah is not just going to beat up the agent that was assigned to monitor her, but she's going to take apart the entire CIA because they fucked with her car.
	If you go near my car again, I'm shutting the whole operation down.
	You're shutting down the CIA.
	Queen Latifah, you're my age and you're a fat black woman.
	Go ahead, fight me right now.
	I'll be reading a magazine while you wail away on me.
	She's beating up like seven Russian fucking mobsters who are armed with guns.
	Like she deks out the bullets.
	It's fucking annoying.
	But I finally get this book, I Am Not a Gangster by Bobby Cummins.
	And I had seen him on YouTube.
	He talks about being an East London gangster in the 50s and 60s and 70s.
	Good.
	Not 50s and 60s was a kid.
	So 70s and 80s.
	I'm like, okay, I think we can escape woke shit here.
	This guy's a murderer.
	He was around in the 60s and 70s.
	He was like a Tony Soprano of East London.
	There he is.
	That's him today.
	All right?
	So I'm reading his book called I Am Not a Gangster, which, by the way, sort of like Jason Riley's book, Please Stop Helping Us, where he has a black hunk on the cover.
	That's not him.
	Bobby Cummins' cover is a gorgeous babe.
	Don't do that.
	If you're doing an autobiographical book about your life in crime, use your fucking face, dude.
	What are you doing?
	Find it all over.
	Maybe he identifies as a sexy hot woman.
	No.
	Sexy hot dude.
	He's like, there's a male model on the cover.
	That's what he looks like.
	So that's what he looks like there in the black and white.
	But the cover of the book, it's called I Am Not a Gangster, is like this attractive man.
	Anyway, I'm reading the book, and I'm like, finally, I'm dumb with woke.
	I can get a break.
	And he talks about this.
	Yeah, there he is.
	Look at the hunk.
	That's not him.
	But he talks about the way it was back then.
	And this is the same way in the 70s when I was a kid, is your crew was not all rock stars.
	Like, you had a retard, you had a blind guy, you had someone's four-year-old brother.
	It was not the fucking, the Avengers.
	And there was this kid, Bill, they called Silly Billy, because he was slow.
	And he was, they were all like eight, and he was 14, but he hung out with them.
	And he carried around a stuffed animal, a doll, and it was a golly wog doll.
	And I had one, I have one.
	In Glasgow, you always had a golly wog doll.
	And it wasn't just the dolls, they were on chocolates, they were on tea.
	It was a popular depiction of a Negro, and no one really thought about it.
	So anyway, I'm reading about this, and everything's fine.
	And then he's talking about his golly wog doll.
	I'm ready to move on.
	He goes, there it is.
	And he goes, you know, we didn't make nothing of that gollywog doll.
	We didn't worry about it.
	But, you know, today you can't have a golly wog doll.
	And race wasn't a thing back then with us.
	We were just, we were all, we was all broke.
	And there was this black geezer down the road and he hung out with us.
	He messed about with our gang.
	And no one saw him as a black geezer.
	We just saw him as a bloke.
	Now, he's not being woke.
	He's saying, I don't like woke shit.
	It's still in my fucking book.
	It's still in my grill.
	Like, I can't hide anymore.
	Birds.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	Fucking monkeys.
	I hate this fucking comedy.
	The equalizer.
	I am done.
	007.
	007.
	Gangsters from the 60s.
	I'm not even into his gangster life yet.
	I'm at the beginning of the book.
	He's fucking 10.
	To eat that boo-poo!
	All right.
	How are you doing, Gavin?
	Gavin?
	Wow, we're really zipping through this.
	I wanted to, we did the biggest lives.
	I want to just take a brief look.
	And guys, please feel free to intercept.
	But biggest stories of 2021.
	We got to cover them, right?
	Sure.
	Obviously, January 6th was big.
	Ryan Katsu Rivera quitting was huge.
	That's true.
	Kyle Rittenhouse declared innocent.
	Is he here?
	Do we have Kyle?
	I am.
	Hey, Kyle, congratulations.
	Throwing Prowboys under the bus was not your greatest moment, but whatever.
	I agree.
	Not the best move.
	Here I am.
	Okay.
	We're ready for you.
	I have to.
	Okay.
	Let me just turn my hat.
	My hat was not in the most iconic place, but now it is.
	And what did the guys say to you about that?
	There was a threat there about seeing you later on, what they were going to do?
	Right.
	Well, when I was coming back from car source number eight, Mr. Rosenbaum, he came up to me and he said, you fuckers are shitty, and I'm going to kill the shit out of you.
	I'm going to kill the shit out of you?
	I'm going to.
	Yeah.
	And that's when I had to draw my weapon, and I have it here.
	That's a balloon.
	No.
	Yep.
	Warm, warm, warm, warm, warm.
	Yep.
	Oops.
	Oh, you went Asian for a second.
	Yeah, I was that scared where I kind of just was bearing the brunt of it.
	And so here's...
	Sorry.
	Bring him back.
	Sorry.
	And that's when he came to me with the flaming dumpster, and then I just dumped the pumps into him until the good Lord split him.
	And that's that.
	Thank you.
	Yeah, I don't feel like going through.
	Thank you, Carl.
	I don't feel like going through this.
	It feels redundant.
	Like, Norm McDonald died.
	You know, he died.
	Why am I telling you this?
	Yes, he did.
	Biden said, oh, this was a big one, though.
	I don't want people to forget.
	Biden said, this isn't going to be like Saigon.
	We're going to get people out.
	They're going to be good.
	Don't worry about it.
	And then it was exactly, exactly like Saigon.
	Pull up that pic?
	Kyle?
	Yeah.
	This is to me, I think Waukesha is very underreported, but this, too, is one of the biggest events of 2021.
	It perfectly summarizes the lies that we are subjected to by this fucking incompetent Mr. Magoo of a president.
	He said specifically this is not going to be like that.
	So he promised us the picture on the left was not going to be duplicated.
	And it was exactly duplicated.
	Exactly.
	It's not even a good picture on the left.
	They have one with the same CH.
	The other one on the right side is the CH-47.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	There was that double.
	Yeah.
	Double rotor.
	I was going to say, it's not the same because these helicopters have two blades.
	They go to 11.
	Well, Saigon had plenty of two bladers.
	What are they called?
	That's a CH-47, a ship.
	CH-47s.
	Troop transport.
	Those are the taxi cabs that deliver the good guy, bad guys.
	Oh, of course, huge story that I would never want to sweep under the rug is, what's his name, the Polish guy, Paul Potlowski, getting arrested on the fucking highway.
	What's his name?
	Arthur Polowski.
	Arthur Polowski.
	Canadian pastor who screamed at Nazi cops.
	This guy's sin was continuing to have church services.
	By the way, plenty of demonstrations against, you know, trans violence, violence against trans people, Black Lives Matter.
	That was all fine.
	If you went to church, you were fucked.
	Arthur recognized that hypocrisy over in Calgary, and he refused to adhere to it, and he continued his church services, fucking arrested.
	Did you see that thing I sent you the other day about Trudeau's bodyguards beating up the David Menzies, yeah?
	That was just on Tucker.
	It's similar, But it's not the exact same story, but rebel media, you know, they've been generating income for a long time now.
	They're ready to buy a building.
	They have to buy a building.
	They could get evicted at any moment.
	So they want to get a mortgage.
	The bank says yes.
	The main guys, the guys that are at the branch, yeah, sounds good.
	You're making X amount of money.
	Mortgage is this much.
	Sounds like a good investment.
	It's three floors.
	The bottom two floors are rented out.
	We're good.
	And then they get a call from the top brass and they say, no.
	No, don't give him the mortgage.
	Now, the reason they're beating up David Menzes there is because Justin Trudeau hates rebel news because they always insult him.
	And Canada is not unlike fucking Pinochet days where you can beat up the media for insulting you.
	That's how shallow Justin Trudeau is.
	He's obsessed with the way he's portrayed in the media, which is why he spent something like $800 million supporting small media companies, which is really just fucking bribing journalists.
	And Royal Bank, who does these mortgages, they have a revolving door with the Liberal Party.
	So if you meet a CEO at Royal Bank, he probably worked under Justin Trudeau or the previous Liberal Party member.
	So it's fucking, it's Sicily.
	It's Palermo over there.
	And when David showed up, they kicked his ass.
	They smashed his face against a wood fence.
	Yeah.
	Roughed him up a little bit.
	Yeah.
	Give some bloody knuckles.
	And when Ezra tried to get a mortgage, they shut him down.
	And you know what's...
	Ezra couldn't have been better on that clip on Tucker, by the way.
	I don't think that's very funny.
	I'm on your side, Ezra.
	You were laughing at that.
	And I, personally, I was laughing at the absurdity of your reporters getting attacked.
	It's a clown world thing.
	I'm taking the clown pill.
	I'm not saying it was good or ha ha ha.
	David got his ass kicked.
	I misunderstood, but it really is sick and twisted what's happening out there.
	David Menzies, one of the greatest reporters that we have for Rebel, he went out there.
	Probably your oldest as far as with you the longest.
	And look what's great about him, he catches your eye.
	He doesn't look like an average guy.
	And when he goes out there, you can pick him out of a crowd.
	And that's why Trudeau went out and they attacked him.
	Because he looks cool.
	That's a bad theory, but okay.
	Well, he's my guy, so I can make up these things.
	Okay.
	Blacks began randomly attacking Asians for no reason.
	Derek Chauvin was found guilty for being near a black guy.
	Oh, here's one that no one remembers.
	Ahmed Al-Aliwi Alisa.
	Does that name ring any bells?
	No.
	I forgot this too, I will concede.
	But he got spooked by all this talk of how racist America is.
	So he went and shot up a grocery store in Denver, a Muslim leftist.
	That's right.
	Remember this?
	Whoa.
	Barely.
	Erased.
	See, that's the funny thing, too, about this shit is they erase it from our own brains.
	Like, I guarantee you, when we do the year in summary of 2022, we won't be talking about Waukesha.
	We will have forgotten it.
	Because these people are effective at erasing our own memories.
	This guy was brainwashed by liberal media.
	He was a radical Muslim, and he shot up a grocery store.
	I forget how many people he killed.
	Does it say it at the top?
	I mean, that's what the problem is.
	Killing 10 fucking people.
	That's the problem with too much information.
	I mean, everything is 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days.
	Yes, but also look at the way they gauge it.
	Insurrection, how many hundreds of hours have we heard about that shit?
	Right.
	Or even COVID.
	Drop those stories.
	Let's hear.
	You want to talk about mass murder?
	You want to talk about danger?
	How about radical Islamists brainwashed by liberals?
	That just got 10 people killed.
	And the Waukesha guy, too, he was brainwashed by liberals.
	He thought white people, both of those guys thought that white people were out to get them.
	White people were going to ruin America.
	White people were killing people.
	And they wanted to fight back.
	In a bizarre way, it's noble.
	They're martyrs, I guess.
	Yeah, they had been brainwashed by these assholes and they go, I want to do something.
	I want to make a change.
	They're out there on the front line.
	Yeah.
	All right, we got to check in with Pete Best.
	And we also are getting close to the moment.
	Eight minutes.
	Right.
	Is it eight?
	I got five on my watch.
	11.52.
	Seven minutes too.
	Should we do one more clip?
	Okay, let's do a greatest hits clip.
	I'm going to get a drink.
	That's a great suit you got on.
	Seems like the pussy lasts a lot more than the pussy lips guy.
	What's he got there?
	Oh, I thought he was drinking beer.
	That's San Pellegrino.
	This movie's like Deadpool before Deadpool, man.
	I know, right?
	Breaking the fourth wall.
	There's finally a comment.
	That's a highlight to me.
	Did you rese...
	I asked you to spend this week researching highlights.
	I think you didn't do that.
	Well, that one.
	I didn't.
	It's a really shitty highlight.
	You're just randomly dropping the needle, not even on the past year, but just into the archives.
	Yeah.
	I'm sorry.
	All right.
	My New Year's resolution is to own up to when I make mistakes.
	You know what my New Year's resolution is for you?
	Yeah.
	More work.
	Say goodbye to the fucking five-hour shifts, my friend.
	Time for the Industrial Revolution.
	I get nervous about driving drunk on New Year's Eve, but then I get a little liquid courage, and everything is okay.
	The more you drink, the more safer it feels.
	The braver you get.
	Be brave.
	The less worried you get about drunk driving.
	Never stop drinking.
	Let's check in on Pete and Miley.
	What are they up to?
	Probably some cool, famous guy doing a song.
	I bet it's fucking woke.
	Black guy.
	I've never watched that show, but I bet it's stultifyingly woke.
	The old new dog rail.
	Okay, just cars.
	Fine.
	Look at that.
	Nothing woke about that.
	It's just cars.
	I mean, the car shapes are kind of overly protective, so that's kind of woke, but it's a new year, new day.
	Okay, a white family?
	What the fuck?
	Oh, no.
	I don't mind if there's a black guy in a thing about America.
	They're part of America.
	This is okay so far.
	Of course, the nurse is fucking black.
	Doesn't it really feel like we're in one of those post-apocalyptic movies where on every channel it's like, get the shit?
	Fuck, black woman driving.
	He's in trouble.
	I need a black woman to come save me as they're wont to do, especially in Alaska.
	No problem, I'm here.
	Ah, thanks, black woman.
	Unreal.
	Are these commercials?
	Of course she's driving to.
	Are commercials made by the KKK?
	Like, it's such an obvious parody of reality.
	And I know there's not a lot of guys hanging off the cliff, but if you were hanging off a cliff, what are the odds a black woman is going to come up and snatch up in the last second?
	Boy, Kia really spent a fucking Pete Davidson has never said anything funny ever.
	He's like the whoopie Goldberg of comedy.
	You guys having a good time?
	All right, well, it's fun looking back on 2021, but I think we can all agree it was a weird year, right?
	So you know what we could do is recap another year.
	Like 2009.
	I think that's what we were doing.
	2009 was so dope.
	We didn't have anything to worry about at all.
	In 2009, the real Captain Phillips happened, and Sully landed in the Hudson.
	It was a great year for guys who'd later be played by Tom Hanks, but a bad year for pirates and geese.
	And we didn't even know how good we had it.
	You know, we were too busy complaining about the black-eyed peas and al-Qaeda in that order.
	Obama was president, and Chet Hanks was still Chester.
	Right?
	And that crazy movie, The Orphan, came out.
	Did you see Joe Rogan talking about Michelle Obama and how awesome she is and how she did great president?
	He kept saying articulate, too.
	No one ever describes whites as articulate.
	Yeah.
	And he said both about Michelle and Barack, they were so articulate.
	When have I ever said, like, people don't describe Christopher Hitchens as articulate.
	They say eloquent, maybe, but that word is specifically reserved for well-behaved Negroes.
	All right, be funny.
	Wait, we got two minutes.
	Nobody.
	There's no time for us.
	Do you like to get dressed up, sir?
	Yeah, there is.
	I'm having a great time.
	Thank you.
	What are you saying?
	Excuse me.
	Two minutes.
	You're here.
	I'm scared.
	Don't be scared.
	Do I get a hat, a blower?
	What's your name?
	Yeah, get a hat.
	Chips.
	Everybody say hello, chips.
	Okay, we're going to dress chips up very quickly.
	What's a real 90s Polish slut?
	Okay.
	And here's a little tiara.
	This was broke.
	Yeah.
	I got blowers here.
	Sorry, I was hugging the blowers.
	Let me get one.
	This was broke.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	We got a little tiara for you.
	And man.
	We had this problem with ours.
	Who was your favorite family member?
	24K Goldman.
	24K Goldman is a family member?
	Oh, there was two in mine.
	I wish they told us in these things before they send us out to the wolves.
	That's a great way to spread COVID.
	You know, hey, everybody, by the way, I would always just like to get serious for a moment.
	Shit, there's like I had about eight.
	Make sure there isn't two in here.
	Please raise your glass.
	I don't know.
	Forbidden, everybody.
	Don't tell you rubbish.
	Yes.
	We've got one minute.
	Oh, I made it to a minute.
	Okay.
	This is it, guys.
	What's the song you want to bring us into the new year?
	How about that little Nas X song?
	Okay.
	No, let's do a good song.
	Let's do Louie Louie.
	Louie Louie?
	Yeah.
	The one that's the Kingsman of the Kingsman.
	Okay.
	No, not the theme track.
	Oh, we're really getting down to the wire here, boys.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	I taught Pete how to count today.
	Yes.
	That's not fair.
	He's a really quick learner.
	I'm a quick learner.
	So we got 25 seconds until we jump into 2022.
	Are you guys excited?
	Yeah.
	Should we start from 17 like Frau and Austin Powers?
	Let's fuck it up.
	It's 10 seconds away.
	Are you guys ready?
	Let's all get into the shot.
	Oh, what a Matty sick.
	What?
	If we all get into the shot, but Matty's sick.
	But if you just stay off a little bit, we'll socially distance at the main desk.
	No, come over here, Maddie.
	You can think of it, though.
	From Ryan and Maddie and me to you, the Adventure.tv subscribers.
	May you have a wonderful 2022.
	We're going to get through this together.
	We are living in a clown world, and the only way to get through it is to laugh.
	Let's have some fun laughing at these fucking retards.
	You like you more than a friend?
	Cheers.
	I mean, she is talented.
	Like, that song is a catchy song.
	And then you have fucking Pete.
	This is gay.
	Walking around going, this is so stupid.
	Hey, yeah, whatever.
	He has the demeanor of a 13-year-old boy.
	Where everything is so fucking stupid.
	What are you looking at?
	Yeah, there's no cold beers.
	Not bud.
	Oh, no.
	Top shelf.
	Did you know that you're not fair?
	That was a thing when my kid was like six.
	He used to say that all the time.
	He'd walk in the room and go, did you know that you're not fair?
	Did you know that Louie Louie was investigated by the government for being an offensive song?
	And they went through the lyrics and decided they are unintelligible at any speed and you're free to go.
	Are you kidding me?
	Was that the Einstein dude?
	Who did that?
	Who the hell said that?
	I think you're dead, dude.
	Yeah, I'm dead.
	You brought me back for this?
	What the hell is this?
	I gotta say, no offense, but you're kind of known as like Norm McDonald levels of superhero genius of comedy.
	Yeah.
	Super Dave Osborne was like an okay SNL sketch.
	What the hell?
	I'm not sure like you're a legend for that.
	Are you.
	It was a funny bit on a Canadian sketch show.
	Do you know what you just said?
	Where you'd shoot out of a cannon and then you'd land and you'd like be crumpled up.
	Like, you know, oh no, Mr. Bill kind of thing.
	Are you kidding me?
	I thought it was funny, but like legend?
	Do you know what you just said?
	Yeah.
	I'm not impressed.
	Oh, I can't be a part of this.
	I'm Super Dave.
	Am I missing something?
	Did you have like some movie or some stand-up or something?
	I'll tell you.
	I'm Super Dave from that one episode of Norm McDonald's show where they read the jokes and I'm outraged.
	Yeah.
	I mean, you were on...
	I grew up in Canada.
	I saw you.
	You were on the Bazaar, it was called, with John Biner.
	And you were Super Dave Osborne.
	It was a very amusing little funny bit.
	Actually, ironically, about as amusing as that.
	So, like, kind of cool.
	Are you kidding me?
	A guy doing a special effect.
	It was about that level.
	Did you ever watch Candy Light on television?
	What?
	Did you ever watch a candy light?
	Oh, yeah.
	I went to school with those kids.
	That was an Ottawa show.
	They invented sliming.
	Yeah, yeah.
	What did you have to say, what?
	And you would get slimed or something?
	Yeah, yeah.
	They got paid like lunch for that.
	The last one set was on that.
	Some golden chains would make a nice retirement gift for a very, very good slave.
	Are you serious?
	Well, this is written.
	That's my whole impression.
	This was written years ago.
	Did you just write that?
	I didn't write it.
	Did you just say that?
	No, I read it.
	Yes.
	You read that?
	There was an old dude.
	You know, when I look back now at Norm McDonald, he does seem a little turgid.
	Oh, yeah, that's when his pain medication was making him gain weight in the face.
	Kind of like Johnny Rotten.
	Oh, my, yes.
	Like, you see John Lydon now, and you're like, I know we all get fatter with age and stuff, but you look like a balloon.
	Does he have, is he taking cancer meds?
	He doesn't have cancer, right?
	I don't think so.
	It's some sort of like lipidol or something.
	No, that's that's that's pre-balloon.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, he really looks like a fucking balloon.
	Post-balloon, we gotta find.
	Well, it's uh edema, swelling, flu retention.
	Oh, my grandmother's calling.
	Oh, I gotta wish her.
	It's mama!
	You're on the show!
	I am?
	Yes.
	What show is that?
	The show I work on.
	What do you mean?
	I'm in the show I work on.
	What the heck is going on?
	We're live.
	We're live on censored.tv.
	My job.
	And Happy New Year.
	Happy New Year, Mariah.
	So Happy New Year, mommy.
	Happy New Year.
	Happy New Year, Nana.
	Well, I'm over here.
	I'm in the phone.
	Yeah.
	I'll see you guys soon.
	I'll see you guys soon.
	I'll come visit soon.
	Okay, I'll let you go now, okay?
	Just with the news.
	Mina, Mina.
	A very blessed new year.
	Okay, I love you, Mama.
	I love you guys.
	Wait, can you say one thing?
	Should have got a minivan.
	Can you say should have got a minivan?
	You should have gotten a minivan.
	Okay, thank you.
	That's just the thing that we have.
	She goes.
	All right, I love you guys.
	Give everybody a hug for me in a kiss.
	God bless you.
	God bless you.
	It's actually pronounced Shuga Biba.
	Yeah, she doesn't know that.
	She lost the flavors of the old world.
	You know, watching that terrible New Year's Eve special reminded me of that worst New Year's Eve special of all time, which was the redhead dude who did the mask after Jim Carrey.
	Jamie Kennedy's mother.
	Jamie Kennedy's New Year's Eve thing where he got fucking ratioed for the show.
	And then he was like, you know what, actually?
	You just got me more fans.
	And next year's going to be even bigger, which we're at next year now, and it didn't happen.
	I kind of really like...
	Next year, sorry.
	I kind of really like Jamie Kennedy these days.
	He's actually not woke.
	He's like, rides the line of saying things that are too bass.
	He's like a Rob Schneider nigga.
	A little less.
	But he was always so bad in everything he did.
	This sucked.
	I mean, the Jamie Kennedy experiment was okay, but the Son of the Mask killed him for a lot of people.
	But I've come to like that.
	No, it's sort of like Jack Murphy and his overreaction to Sidney's question.
	Jamie Kennedy got bad reviews for the mask, and he did a whole documentary about talking to the people that didn't like it.
	Drop it, dude.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, Heckler.
	There was a fight that broke up.
	Broke out.
	Thanks for spending here with us.
	Tell everybody what is going to happen in 2013 with you.
	Oh, I'm so excited 2013's here.
	The jalapeno turkey with me.
	Oh, that's exactly as aired.
	Yeah, where's the fight?
	I think it's over.
	It's good.
	Jalapeno Turkey.
	We want to thank everyone who came out.
	DTK, Macy Gray, Bill Dunzen Argon, Minnie, Shannon Elizabeth, Bridget, Mark Orton.
	Oh, there's the fight?
	It's getting crazy here.
	We also want to thank Carls Jr.
	Sounds like I know that midget.
	Yeah, he's 2024.
	Good night.
	They used to rap together and stuff like that.
	It's ending with a fight.
	It's ending with a fight.
	You know what it is?
	I just made up this theory right now.
	LA people aren't used to being drunk.
	So when they get a buzz, they start freaking the fuck out.
	Stu Stone.
	That's his name, yeah.
	Yeah, California people, man, it's weird.
	They're freaking.
	Because they have to drive.
	So where we will go to the bar every day and have like four or five drinks and then go home, they're like, oh, it's four or five drinks night.
	I'm going to fucking get shithammered and get in big trouble.
	And then everything closes early and then you go to like house parties and shit.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I wonder what's going on with house parties in Montreal right now.
	Maybe we should try one.
	Hey.
	Okay, I'm gonna call a guy in Montreal.
	Jar CMPs cracking down on everybody.
	This is embarrassing.
	That's okay.
	In the meantime, we have a clip.
	You have reached.
	The music.
	I don't like hitting the heavy bag to the beat.
	That's embarrassing.
	But even when you're lifting weights and it's like, I'm a motherfucking beast.
	Yes.
	That feels queer.
	It is.
	Or you know when you're just walking, like, and there's music and that's gay, like Benny Banassi or something, but you're just shopping?
	You have no control of the music and it's like and you're walking to the beat.
	So then you force yourself to not walk to the beat?
	No.
	But walking's gay too.
	That was a great example of you not getting what we're talking about.
	Walking is gay too.
	You're allowed to enjoy a song at the grocery store.
	No.
	It's when you're at the gym and you're going bam, bump, bump, bump.
	That's embarrassing.
	Okay, but that, as well as like if there's a gay song playing and you're walking to the beat, you feel gay.
	That's all I'm saying.
	Yeah, that's totally different.
	My face looks blurry and I go, my name is blurry.
	I care what you think.
	Just completely under the radar.
	Oh my God.
	Hey, did you see that little clip I sent to you on, I guess, Instagram or something with the American Eagle, the bald eagle?
	And by the way.
	With the arms.
	Pet peeve about my wife here, guys.
	I mean, you know how women could be.
	We laugh really hard at that Maddie thing.
	It's not how you wear a hat, by the way.
	We laugh so hard.
	At Yamaca cone.
	At Yama cone.
	I'm good for those.
	Gotta admit.
	Oh, yeah, I do have it.
	We laughed our balls off at the Maddie thing, and then I bring it up at the Christmas party, and she's like, it really wasn't that funny.
	And I was like.
	Divorce her.
	We literally looked at each other and we said, this is hilarious.
	This is so funny.
	And we rewound it.
	You should leave her.
	She takes back all the fun moments we have as if they were.
	You know what you should do?
	Divorce her, leave her, declare bankruptcy so she can't get child support and just move to Hawaii.
	Oh, if you claim bankruptcy, you don't.
	Yeah.
	No.
	It never goes away.
	Oh, really?
	Never.
	Shit.
	All right.
	Well, I guess.
	You can't declare bankruptcy and just go, I don't have any money for you?
	Do they just put you in jail?
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	I used to come home from prison and owe like $20 something thousand dollars.
	Holy shit.
	They used to spend my life since then.
	I'm like.
	How about some Misa?
	How the fuck was I supposed to pay?
	I was in fucking prison.
	How about some Maddie support Pete sakes?
	I'm just fucking glad.
	Sportsmanship.
	The bird, which is the bald eagle.
	That guy is funnier than me.
	Hey, I was at a bar the other day, believe it or not.
	I'm watching TV.
	Guess who's on the fucking screen?
	Ben Crump.
	Oh, no.
	So this is fucking nuts.
	There's some lunatic bludgeoning woman in a Walmart, TJ Max Maxwell's, I don't know, one of these stores.
	With a bike lock.
	Smashing him in the head, murdering them.
	So cops show up, and they're like, stop, stop.
	He's like, fuck you, I'll kill you all.
	They shoot him, which I guess was stupid in a store.
	A bullet ricochets off the ground, goes into the dressing room and kills some random chick who was visiting from like Chile.
	Right?
	Valentina Orlina Peralta.
	So Ben Crump's point is yet another case of racism from the cops.
	Because they were like, while we attack this guy, I do want to shoot a spic who's changing.
	So I'm going to ricochet it off the ground like blazing saddles and kill this fucking bitch.
	This 14-year-old tourist bitch.
	Go back to the video, though.
	Are they going with that?
	Because that...
	No, no, the first thing you showed.
	I thought that was just automatically playing, no?
	Yeah, no, I thought there was a video going...
	Racist cops fucking killed another girl through a wall.
	They're so good at their racism that can just like seek them out.
	Unbelievable.
	He's 100.
	I wonder if he knows that we have bald eagle tattoos just like he has a bald eagle lapel.
	I wonder if he'd be honored by that.
	Tell him about it.
	I saw the island boy said the bird which is the bald eagle.
	Oh boy, I gotta find those.
	There's a couple.
	Island boy, we got the bird that's a bald eagle.
	I don't like my bald eagle tattoo.
	What?
	I should have left the shine on.
	Oh, dude.
	My bald eagle just looks like a bald eagle.
	Oh, you're talking about the shine on his head.
	Yeah.
	I thought you were talking about Ben Crumb.
	Twinkle.
	And then I was like, I know, I'll add skin color on his bald head.
	I'm like, wait a minute, I am skin color.
	How do you add skin color to skin color?
	The bird which is about ego.
	Like a birdie, birdie, birdie.
	You be watching, watching, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Wow.
	That's what happens when your dad doesn't exist and your mom says, whatever you want to do, I don't care.
	Stay out all night.
	It's sort of almost like Lord of the Flies.
	Like, where are they from, though?
	I'm going to say Florida.
	I'm going to say they're Florida.
	I'm going to say they're Puerto Rican.
	The dad is not around.
	And the mother had them when she was 16 and she doesn't give a fuck.
	I mean, what made them fail just saying that island boy?
	They heard it in a song.
	And they were like, I'm a Jamaican kind of.
	And they just ran with it.
	And no one is there to correct them.
	And now they're picking fights all over the place.
	I saw some podcast.
	I think it was Jake Paul.
	Yeah, they walked off.
	And they're like, yo, what the fuck?
	You don't think we're island boys?
	Yeah, Maddie showed that to us.
	No, the guy said, you know, if worst comes to worst, he's like, you could take all your jewelry that you have now, sell it, and invest it, and you'll never be broke again.
	Ever.
	That's a good point.
	They were like, what?
	Fuck you.
	Yeah, they were like, broke.
	How dare you?
	Yeah, the Island Balls aren't going to go too far.
	Did you see the Proud Boys?
	From what I understand, they're just blowing money left and right.
	What'd you say, David Show?
	There's a Proud Boys one, too, where they did the...
	I'm looking for it right now.
	It was Island Boys, Proud Boys.
	I'm not sure.
	Oh, Proud and Boy.
	I got it.
	Stand by.
	This is really bothering me.
	Why don't you just see that little guy?
	Where did I see a thing?
	We're down in the last five minutes of the show, by the way.
	Oh, frick.
	Let's go through in the last five minutes of the new 20.
	It's 2022 now.
	So what you're going to do was...
	Isn't that weird?
	When I was a kid, the craziest thing you could say is 2000.
	Like a vacuum cleaner was called the XM2000.
	That's why I use the name the Gavin 2000 on a lot of shit.
	Because it was like, that's the future.
	Yeah.
	The vacuum 4X 2000.
	It's basically what vacuum cleaners are going to be like in the year 2000.
	And now, 2022?
	I feel like a vampire.
	I'm not supposed to be alive this long.
	2022, we're going to run out of numbers soon.
	50 years.
	You're 52 years coming up now.
	Proud of your boy.
	Make you proud of your boy.
	Hey, I'm a hangtown boy.
	Yeah, I'm proud of your boy.
	I'm going to make you proud of that boy.
	Hey, I'm a hangtown boy.
	Yeah, I'm a proud of your boy.
	Shout out to the hangtown, proud boy.
	We sold.
	They're always fighting for who gets to end it.
	This amazes me.
	It's fucking weird.
	They're retarded.
	They've invented like a new culture.
	You know what?
	It's based on...
	I mean, I don't know if it was intentional, but never going to give you up.
	Never going to let you down.
	Never going to.
	Rick Ashley.
	Yeah, Rick Ashley.
	Are you sure?
	It's not actually based on it, but that's probably why it's so catchy.
	It's almost a similar game.
	It's such a bizarre.
	They took a part of a reggae song and made it their entire identity.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Guys, down to the last four minutes.
	Maddie, what are your plans for 2022?
	2022.
	For your family, what are your goals?
	What do you hope happens?
	What do you hope happens to America?
	Well, I hope it comes to its senses.
	And we go through the midterms, and all the Republicans and conservatives and right-of-center people come to their senses and go out and vote and get the right people back in to local offices,
	state offices, and then we can worry about 2024 and then take the country back over and get out of this fucking bizarre land that we're in.
	It takes a lot to shock me, but the shit that's going on is insane.
	You know, people always say...
	I'm going to say years ago, we would be in this predicament, like with shutdowns and lockdowns and the tyrannical overreach of this administration.
	I'd be like, you're out of your mind.
	This is America.
	People say that you should stop thinking about the president and focus on municipal politics, but I think I do agree with that.
	But also, we're near the midterms.
	That in many ways is more important than the presidency.
	And if we can take control of everything but the presidency in the midterms, I think we have a lot of hope for the future and the next election.
	Right.
	I hope that there's no serious opposition from within the GOP of who's going to be running.
	You got two points.
	I've got candidates and everybody.
	100%.
	Full force.
	It's got to be Ron DeSantis.
	I don't even want Trump.
	I want Ron DeSantis and a nondescript VP that we never heard of.
	Yay-yo.
	It's got to be.
	Yeah.
	Ron DeSantis and Yayo.
	He's not an American citizen, can't run.
	He's Peruvian.
	But I do feel like the tide is turning.
	Like, I saw a cartoon in the New York Post, which I know is relatively right-wing, but whatever.
	And it was the New Year's Eve baby, the 2022 baby, pushing a wheelchair off a cliff.
	And the wheelchair was, it said on the back, radical left.
	And there was a donkey falling face first off the cliff.
	And I can't explain why this felt so profound, but I felt like here we have the moderate right and the center rights saying, yeah, fuck these people.
	You know, we're coming from an area where you had Don Lamont on CNN going, Antifa, anti-fascist.
	It's in the name.
	And that's the most mainstream leftist news source calling Antifa anti-fascist.
	I feel like that's finally fucking dead.
	And people are starting to go, not only do I not like the radical left at Antifa, but I don't trust the government with this COVID shit.
	And I want my country back.
	Not just in America, too.
	In Australia, in Britain.
	I really feel like, because we were always against this shit from day one, but I feel like the normal sort of moms and stuff who were like, go ahead, as long as it doesn't hurt me, they went, wait a minute, what's going on with CRT?
	CRT was a big mom wake-up call.
	And then post-CRT, they're getting politically aware and they're going, what else have you been doing?
	There it is.
	I don't know why.
	The New York Post is not that right wing.
	It's pretty centrist.
	It's slightly right of center.
	But seeing that in the New York Post made me think that the rest of us are on board with the rest of us.
	What about you, Ryan?
	We're out of time now.
	End of the show.
	Me, personally, I hope that we can all get to a place with the fuck unbelievable.
	Okay, this better be good.
	I like you more than a friend.
	Okay, then we'll look that up.
	What's up, Gavin and Prime Minister?
	7 of the Fang Zone.
	I found some important life facts that you need to know.
	Please leave.
	Please watch at least one whole video.
	They're pretty short.
	Instagram reels from the same guy.
	I bet I will fucking hate this.
	What?
	I didn't.
	Well, here's to 2022 not that happening anymore.
	How about in 2022 you do your job?
	I will do that.
	Or you could quit or get fired again.
	You could be good at it.
	No, but seriously, 2022, we're done on the show.
	We're down to the end.
	What's your goal?
	What do you want to do?
	How do you see it?
	What's going on with your daughter?
	Well, that's coming pretty naturally.
	Change more diapers.
	She'll only be one, I guess, at the end of the year.
	Yes.
	But I've just been enjoying just, you know, I leave my phone on the other side of the room.
	I take her to the rocking chair on the times that I put her to sleep, and I just look at her face.
	And so this is exciting.
	In the next couple months, she's actually going to have a sense of humor.
	That's down the road.
	Which in a couple of weeks, she's going to be able to laugh.
	So that's going to be huge.
	That's going to be a little bit more.
	She smiles, but it's when she's pooping and when she's falling asleep.
	But when she's falling asleep, it's a real smile.
	Yeah, her smiles are like, I can't tell if it's sincere or not.
	When she's falling asleep, she's definitely smiling.
	But yeah, so that I'm looking forward to.
	And then also, let's see, just getting baby.
	What about, do you feel, and I know that you're very sensitive, but the fact that she doesn't love you, does that hurt you or does that bother you?
	Does that keep you up at night?
	I expect, you know, at least for a partially Asian baby, that the feelings won't come until they're 36-ish.
	Right.
	If that.
	At least that's fine with the fact that she does not love you.
	I mean, I'm not familiar with the concept of love itself.
	Oh, you're like a Klingon.
	Like a robot.
	So what age are you going to start the footbinding?
	Oh, we've started.
	Okay.
	Yes.
	You just put her in shoes.
	I think the perfect woman has feet this big.
	Yes.
	The perfect woman has feet this big is correct.
	And they will fold under as they get.
	So your dad's feet are.
	Dude, every time I hear about Chinese footbinding, I think, that must have fucking killed.
	Yeah.
	Like a tattoo, pissing out gallstones, giving birth.
	I'm sure those hurt a lot.
	I've had one of them.
	But like, you grow underneath your own foot?
	What?
	If you wear shoes that are half a, not even the perfect shoes for you, and you go on a hike, your feet are shredded.
	You got blisters, all kinds of shit.
	What about shoes that are this big?
	What?
	Anyway.
	All right, folks, that's the end of the show.
	Thank you for tuning in.
	It was fun partying with you.
	I'm pretty drunk.
	Gotta drive a kid's bus home.
	Do you feel better, Maddie?
	Since partying?
	Yeah, I mean, good to be out of the house.
	I feel like you sound better.
	But it was great to see Maddie.
	Well, you know, still under the weather.
	Still, Cure All.
	We missed you.
	Thanks for Maddie to coming.
	Thanks to Maddie for coming by.
	Thanks to Ryan for banditing his family on their first New Year's Eve together.
	And thanks to you guys for joining us on the celebration of, I'm going to argue the craziest time in fucking history.
	Yeah.
	In my life.
	So get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	Oh, yeah.
	Tell them ain't late, let them know.
	You never really ruined money anyway.
	When I make a bit of time, I want to hear the day.
	Come across as a bitch.
	I'm in charge, bend over.
	I'm the only free.
	I'm gonna let Rook in.
	Money, so true.
	You are waiting to be a home.
	Is there any reason I could give you that would answer that satisfactorily?
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Look at that hole!
	Then being good at it, if you will.
	That ain't no woman.
	It's a man, man.
	That's not your mother.
	It's a man, baby.
	If that is a woman, it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick.
	Ba-boo!
	The bird witch is the bald eagle.
	The bird witch is the bald eagle.
	How the bird witch is the bald eagle.
	It sounds cool when you say the bird witch is the bald eagle.
	The bird witch is the bald eagle.
	Take the bird, which is the bald eagle.
	I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
	700 million and a trillion three hundred million billion dollars are in fact demented.
	Bullshit.
	Hello, you got a base.
	China is asshole.
	Donald Trump don't trust China.
	China is asshole.
	There's not gonna be a President Donald Trump.
	Come on, now.
	Come on, man.
	Hey.
	You're cool.
	I am disabled.
	I am gay.
	I am a woman.
	I am black.
	Hello?
	Not fucking good, you fucking rat, scumbag, fucking bat.
	Not fucking good.
	You're in the wrong fucking city, you fucking scumbag.
	What if I were to say, I want to be a toad?
	I want to be a woman.
	It is a disaster.
	Don't be disrespectful to people.
	Or not respect.
	Disrespectful, I think, is not actually a word.
	Everybody, boom, these explosions of bullshit.
	Mother Nature's hella pissed.
	Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
	Ooh, that's a hate crime right there, bro.
	Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	Homeboy's getting that like headache.
	We don't give a damn.
	Gay, is it?
	You want to talk about woke?
	I'm woke.
	Hot shit.
	Fucking quit!
	I felt worthless.
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	Could I have a firearm, please?
	The fag capitals of the world.
	Hello?
	Holy shit.
	How dare you?
	Now that's how guys talk to one another.
	I come really, really hard.
	No, and I don't care.
	I don't like the butt chick.
	Yes, we drank beer.
	I like beer.
	As a matter of fact, I liked beer.
	And I think I know why.
	That means you gay.
	I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
	They couldn't carry a tune to save their lives.
	The police, get what you fucking deserve!
	It's not a joke.
	Mikey!
	Mike!
	Mikey!
	With respect to Mr. McGinnis, because the law is different with respect to him.
	Well, maybe he's gay.
	Ever thought of that?
	My son's on the cover of a magazine.
	It doesn't say that.
	You're a liar.
	Right?
	I'm not persecuted.
	I'm just an ass.
	How are you doing, Gavin?
	Gavin?
	Who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?
	In the sense that...
	I swear to God, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to get my hands around your throat.
	I will eat your ass.
	I'll eat your ass.
	Come on, man.
	Mikey!
	Dude, fucking call Mikey.
	Just leave.
	Just go somewhere else.
	Shut the fuck up and leave.
	Come on, I'm fucking sweating my balls off.
	I saw a pants, but it sounds like that's some fucking commie, gobbledy gook.
	Did not flub at all.
	There was no fucking flub.
	It was not a flub.
	No, come on, let's do it.
	Fuck.
	Wow, there's nothing wrong with that.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	Oh, oh, oh, that's so disgusting.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	Oh, how could you say that?
	On your feet, soldier!
	Just doing the thing?
	Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
	And then they eat their poo-poo.
	You have hurt me today.
	Bunch of slap-jawed faggots around here.
	I mean, look at him.
	He's pimping.
	Wait, what are you gonna do?
	So.
	Shut up, Janet.
	Just gonna send it.
	See what I'm saying?
	You could have an aneurysm on a toilet.
	You never know.
	Or I threw a motherfucker face.
	I don't tear up for sad things.
	I tear up for happy things.
	I tear up for happy things.
	They are retarded, and in some ways, they're geniuses.
	It's quiet.
	Yeah, I know it's quiet for him.
	To eat that poo-poo!
	And this one is eating the poo-poo all over the place.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	You son of a bitch.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	I was here.
	It's a joke.
	What's that supposed to mean?
	Jesus Christ.
	Mr. You okay in there?
	Speak in.
	Now you know this is one of the oldest symbols.
	The symbols.
	Well, that means you're gay.
	That's true.
	The why of things.
	That was too much of indecence.
	A fucking woman, boss.
	But I'm talking to you here on a human level.
	This sounds very gay.
	Never happened in the States.
	Never.
	I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
	He's a fag.
	Well, I'll be dipped in shit.
	Has a crazy Dinache thinks he's a toad.
	I feel like I'm a toad.
	Ain't nobody got time for this.
	I am done.
	You're gone.
	I'm done.
	Good afternoon, guys.
	I am never going to financially recover from this.
	I said, we ain't that straight.
	They're throwing themselves into the road flatly.
	Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird.
	Where are they coming from?
	They're coming all over the place.
	They're coming, and they are coming at levels that you haven't even seen yet.
	I thought that was a great dishonor to her and to her family.
	Boom!
	These explosions of bullshit.
	Get him out of here.
	Get out.
	I'm going to come.
	I'll even kiss the men.
	Yeah, that was supposed to be a joke, right?
	Well, I like him too, but I don't know if I like him that much.
	She looks like a fucking third-grade hooker.
	Oh, so lucky that is a lucky bird.
	You gotta be proud of your boys.
	Sex is like not a big deal.
	Who the fuck?
	Shut up.
	Congratulations.
	Why are you gay?
	What the hell are you talking about?
	What the fucker said that?
	What?
	What?
	What's that?
	Say that again?
	Well, we're waiting.
	You know, we're living in a society.
	War.
	War.
	Fuck you.
	I hate you.
	I won't love it, but I'm kidding.
	Everything woke turns to shit, okay?
	Shut up.
	Shut your mouth.
	Wow.
	Wrong.
	You douche.
	You ugly.
	Turn around.
	You walk away.
	You turn around and walk away.
	If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.
	Jesus Christ.
	Those nigga fucking horse, they play that music so loud.
	And those are Puerto Ricans, Mrs. Guffey.
	Well, it is a very unfortunate situation.
	Don't be a cutie buck, okay?
	When I'm back up in the top, I want to be staying.
	Get your soul, don't let the break is all.

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