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Dec. 30, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
53:21
GOML LIVE #128 - NEW YEAR'S EVE EVE BEARS
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Time Text
I'm from New York.
It's Jeff My Long with Devin McGinnis.
That was Bear Force One, a group of homosexuals from the Netherlands who are doing covers there.
They're all bears.
We know what bears are, right?
Those are gays who are hairy and big and burly.
I feel like if I was a gay, that would be my jam.
This sounds very gay.
It is, Tony.
I'd like to welcome Maddie Odell back to the forefront.
Hello, everybody.
This will not be a normal episode.
We're not taking calls.
This is a holiday up.
It's not live.
Tomorrow, though, we will do New Year's Eve, and it will be live.
And we're going to ring in the new year with you.
We'll do some highlights over the years, and we'll totally get hammered, and then we'll do the countdown together.
10, 9, 8.
Right, Ryan?
Correct.
You can make graphics for that.
We've got a whole week.
Right?
Yes.
Why are you so reluctant?
You demand a week off?
Plug plug in?
Sounds good.
What kind of guys would you be into if you were gay, Maddie?
I don't know.
If I were gay and I really liked women the way I like women now, I want to have like some trans dude that looked like Ariana Grande or something.
You got to take a guy in a guy's form.
Yeah, you got to take what you guys.
And then you got to use those same parameters, make it a chick.
Like, I like pulcritudinous, busty, not necessarily busty, but big-ass women.
Yeah.
I'm an ass.
I'm a fan of the ass.
I don't like them too young.
So I like women.
Yeah.
Therefore, I would probably like men, like burly, tough, hairy bears.
I think I would be into bears.
I wouldn't like a David Beckham because I don't like that in chicks.
Yeah.
I'd want to.
Yeah, I tend to like girls that are.
No, that's too hot.
I wouldn't like hot guys.
Yeah, I like girls on the thicker side myself.
Right.
And I'm not into like supermodel like cheerleader types.
No.
So I wouldn't be into those kind of guys.
I'd want like a Tony Soprano Artie Lang.
That's a tough one, eh?
You put those two together.
So like a Maddie type.
Yeah, I'd want to fuck Maddie.
That's uncomfortable.
Hey, two thumbs up.
I think this would be probably my type.
You'd be into nerds, Ryan?
Yeah, fat nerds who are old.
Fat old nerds.
For nerds.
I don't even know what your type is, Ryan.
Every girlfriend I've seen you with has been nothing like the other one.
Huh.
You know, he was single when I met him.
Yeah, he's like with a black chick for a while.
He's with a lesbian for a while.
Not a lesbian.
I think he's so lazy that he just goes with whatever girl hits on him.
So he's like, yeah, I could see my way around that.
I'm in.
That's natural.
I've declined a lot of broads via DM that are perfectly good looking, but it's just not.
You can't be in a relationship at the time.
Have we seen you yet?
Let's see your new.
CU.
CUs, people.
Hein's too good for you.
Blurry as usual.
Ruining his job as usual.
Now you're crisp.
Oh, so you have to move for the camera to know what's what?
Yeah.
The camera should just be able to, like, you just permanently tell it, fuck the mic.
I hate the mic.
Yeah.
Well, you can set it and then take the autofocus off.
I set it for where it's right at his.
I do a manual area.
I'm going to set this all the time.
And look at this.
I set it.
And you watch.
Look, this is me fine-tuning it.
Perfect, right?
Yep.
It doesn't stay that way.
Okay, go to me now and know you.
Know you.
No you.
And then I move around.
Okay, now come back to you.
Perfectly focused.
It's off auto, but I promise.
Right, because now it won't automatically try to refocus.
That's usually how it is, but watch.
When you come back to me a little later, I'll be a little tiny fuzzy, yeah.
These cameras have gotten too good.
They think they're smarter than you.
I think that's exactly what it is.
Remember that we showed that fight a million years ago?
The guy who bottled that other guy in Britain?
It was a fight that happened with a dog because a dog bit another dog and there was this drunk who kept doing sucker punches and he had a beer in his hand.
At one point, the camera goes near the sun and everything turns to black.
Like, leave me alone, robots.
I got this.
AI is becoming too much.
Yeah.
It's too much indecence.
Wow, you found that fast.
I'll fucking bottle you.
It's pretty easy to find dog, bite, fight, bottle.
This is the only video of its dog bites, fight, hit with bottle.
I've been obsessed with British hooligans recently.
EastEnders.
Look at that fucking idiot.
I'll bottle you.
And then he goes after the other guy?
Well, let me defend him.
He senses that the mob is under the misconception that he heard a dog.
So he knows that when one comes in, they're all going to come in.
So the sucker punch guy had already left, and that was the main confronting guy.
So he thought, I better just bottle this guy and keep back the mob and show that I'm not fucking around rather than be the perfect sheriff who gets the exact bad guy.
Like when I was at Deploraball and that Antifa dude crossed our line, I had to punch him to show the mob of 500 people throwing batteries, piss, and shit at us that we're not going to give you an in.
Because just like with hyenas, once the first hyena gets the first bite into the lion's neck, now you're covered in fucking hyenas.
That's what I did to the Antifa kid in NYU.
I punched the kid in front of me who hadn't really done anything to me yet because I got sucker punched in the back.
And I was like, that guy will be engaged in a matter of seconds.
Exact same story.
You must be punched.
Look at this.
This is my personal footage.
How are you so good at your job for once in your life?
Now you're jumping a DC and you have it all ready?
That's the mob I was talking about.
You think I'm exaggerating.
There's 500 people there waiting to kill us and there was a kill list.
It's funny how the left complains and talks about proud boys and violence and stuff.
Here are a bunch of guys in suits taking ladies to a ball in D.C. where women who are MAGA in D.C. have no hope of finding a mate.
So when there's an event like that, all their eggs are in that basket.
All their chips are down.
Is that you lunging over Ryan?
No, I was the one holding the camera there, but...
No.
Play that clip again.
Who's like jumping?
It looks like you.
Let me see here.
Right there.
Yes, that is me.
Oh, it's Kevin.
Yeah, yeah.
That's me punching a guy, and you know what I felt on my fist is all teeth.
Because he was so surprised that I punched him, that he was like this when the fist was in the air.
Because he said, you want to go?
And I go, yes, I'd love to go.
And I hit his teeth.
And then the mob went, okay.
Because even though there's 500 of them, they're not courageous enough to attack.
Look at this.
Perfect example of courageous.
Nazi scum!
What was that chant?
Nazi scum.
It was Nazi scum, actually, yes.
Nazi scum.
Like those chants are going to make anyone go, that sucks.
Yeah.
This chant's pretty good.
I'm Nazi scum.
Looks like Neil Orange.
The shoe on head guy there.
Oh, that guy.
I like him.
His face is racist.
They were talking about Trump there.
Was that Kazi, the little black guy that you saw on the show?
No.
Kazi Kozo.
Yeah, that was a ball.
They put out a kill list on who to attack, who's going.
Antifa had all that information.
No thanks to the FBI.
They didn't do shit, but Project Veritas discovered that Antifa were preparing to gas the building.
Well, see, I can't understand why they weren't arrested for conspiracy to commit terrorist acts.
Because once you put a list together and you gather and you actually go there, those are your three overt acts.
Three overt acts.
One, a kill list.
Cassandra Fairbanks, me, all listed our faces, what we're going to be doing, when we're going to be there, how to get us.
Dissemination of that.
Dissemination of that.
That's one.
And then going.
Going.
Number two, they planned a gas attack on the Deplorable.
It was like some gas that makes you projectile vomit.
What is it?
Butric acid or something like that?
Jesus.
And then three, they planned to derail trains that were on their way to D.C. They were going to derail the fucking trains.
Call me old-fashioned.
That's probably a big deal.
Yeah.
That probably could kill hundreds of old ladies and babies and no charges.
Although, happy New Year's Eve, info.
I think the tides are changing.
I just saw this.
Now, this is a pre-taped episode, I'm afraid, folks.
But I just saw this today.
Fugging.
This Antifa dude just got like seven years.
Seven and a half years.
Good.
And when you read what he had done, this is no small beans.
Oh, yeah, remember that guy?
Oh, that guy's famous.
That was the guy who said burn their shit to the ground.
And they said, okay, you're not arrested, no problem, because they are the paramilitary wing of the DNC.
They said, just don't do any more terrorism and you're good.
Don't go to any rallies.
Don't get involved in anything.
And he was at the next fucking thing.
Oh, and that's the guy.
His name's Luke something.
Luke Kuhn.
Luke Kuhn.
He did all this fan fiction about fucking boys.
There is a very strong sort of a spine throughout Antifa of child molestation.
Why do they want to make, why do they hate the family?
Why do they hate normal America?
Because if they can make America abnormal, then fucking kids is normal.
They're probably all Nambla members.
And they don't get punished.
But check out this.
Jared D. Ferrari.
That's a fucking cool name, dude.
Way to throw your life away with a cool name like of Ferrari.
Yeah.
Was he sired by Enzo Ferrari?
Did he fucking Enzo Ferrari?
Fuck you.
7.5 years.
I'll take it.
He looks like a DJ.
I sent you another picture of all kinds of Antifa pictures.
He was like an Antifa.
What was he convicted of?
Dude, that's the kind of bittersweet part of it all.
In order for him to get 7.5 years, so just three and a half years more than Max and John who fought Antifa for 17 seconds, he shot at people, did armed robberies, tried to blow up a building,
was released on probation multiple times, went back for more.
Go to the first article.
It's a pretty big laundry list to get up to an actual arrest and prosecution.
What it was, stops us up, smashing windows, multiple buildings, including a church, charged with right and first-degree mischief.
Okay, so now you're done.
Stop doing stuff.
Take a timeout.
Nope.
While on release, he, no, go back up.
While on release, he robbed a 7-Eleven at gunpoint, jumped over the counter and pointed the gun in the clerk's face, right?
And then he burnt down a building.
So he's staying in a squat.
That's how they find him.
Multiple weapons charges, all kinds of shit.
So you got to do a lot if you're in Antifa to actually get prosecuted.
Being good at it.
But he literally, he looks like a filter.
You know?
One of those Snapchat filters.
Are you saying he's gorgeous?
No.
No, one of the ones that obscure your face and make you look dumb.
Okay, I don't know what you're talking about, but that's him arrested.
That's kind of what your soul is, Ryan.
What do you mean?
Does that filter show your soul?
No.
That's your IQ.
Dang it.
Why wouldn't you do a Santa Claus?
Christmas is...
Christmas just happened.
It's me, cool Santa Claus.
But who's so dumb that they...
You didn't have the teeth to begin with.
Who's so dumb that they get a white beard like four days after Christmas and they're like, I guess I'm a redneck?
I don't get it.
What's a white beard?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Is that you, gorgeous?
You decide.
Wow, that hurt my ribs.
If you want to.
Hey, that's my cousin.
So listen, like.
My dad's mom married a Mexican, and that's exactly what he looks like.
That sounds like an ABC show.
My dad married a Mexican.
ABC.
All right.
So today's episode isn't real.
It's just a placeholder, so you don't get out of the habit of watching this show.
I want to dive right into the mailbag.
So Ryan, why don't you introduce the mail bag?
Oh, that's a sure thing for me.
My wife doesn't like it when I wear red.
She goes, it accentuates your worst features.
You look like a disgusting tomato.
I feel like I'm gorgeous in red.
Maybe my next wife will appreciate red.
I think the women won this one.
Why don't you think I look gorgeous in?
Let's turn our eyes together.
Okay, let's start off the mailbag with an incredibly insulting letter about Maddie O'Dell.
Someone hates this.
Fucking guts.
Nice.
I love it.
Damn.
Tell Maddie to shut up.
I love my haters.
Tell Maddie to shut the fuck up and stop answering every fucking question that is asked and stop his fucking singing with the songs in some stupid fucking voice.
What?
Dude, I loved that.
No, no, no, wait.
What songs does when you're talking about this?
We were singing.
I was probably singing along a little out loud and Mike was picking it up.
Dude, one of the funniest ones is like...
They were Fagazi songs.
Yeah, and then there was this one part where we said something like all my friends, and then you were like, all my friends are heathens taking slow.
Me and Caroline were laughing our fucking asses off.
We kept rewinding it.
No, wait, when we're all jamming out to waiting rooms, Maddie has to sit there and be like, yeah, what the fuck?
That's a weird.
That's a weird.
I know.
We're doing a 24-hour telethon.
We're just drinking and I'm trying to stay awake.
We get a lot of criticisms.
Like, I can play Devil's Advocate and understand their point, but stop his fucking singing with the songs.
Like, we play that many songs on the air.
Yeah, right, right.
I've had enough of him singing with the songs.
And some stupid fucking voice makes me fucking go insane.
And fuck your grammar and punctuation lessons.
I work for my money.
I guess that's me that he's attacking.
Yeah, yeah.
He's letting you know he's a blue collar man.
Hold on.
I don't care if you're blue collar.
Say you're a welder.
There's no period at the end of this sentence.
Tell Maddie to shut the fuck up and stop answering every fucking question that's asked and stop his fucking singing with the songs and some stupid fucking voice.
That was all fine.
You just need a period there and then it makes me fucking go insane and fuck your grammar and punctuation lessons.
Period.
I work for my money.
Period.
You're not that bad, dude.
You just need more periods.
I'm a longtime subscriber that has followed you across every platform and will continue.
I'm like the plumber who hooked up your hot water heater, but that has actually killed people.
Ooh.
Okay.
Holy shit.
You know, I didn't think this was an important email.
I thought it was silly, but we have a murderer who's mad at Maddie.
Dude, locking up.
Can you see me shaking in my boots?
What?
I said, can't you see me shaking in my boots?
Stop Maddie shaking his boots.
I'm scared of being near him now because I don't want a stray bullet to ricochet and hit me.
I'm going to see if I could find the heathens drop.
Dude, good luck.
Although this is one of the few times you've been on the ball, so who knows?
It was right when I was holding my baby.
Maddie.
Yes.
This is from a woman, I believe.
Jamie.
I'm really liking the Scottish words and says Maddie has been doing he's the man, period, and Ryan slaps.
Like, I know I'm known as a grammar Nazi, but that is Coco the Gorilla sentence writing.
I'm really liking the Scottish words and says Maddie has been doing he's the man.
I think a lot of people watch the show and they're shit faced.
No, this is 2.21 p.m.
What's the excuse there?
She at work.
She got a type of fire-up quick letter.
Speaking of Scottish words, Maddie and I are both Scots.
We would go there in the summers all the time as young men.
So you pick up stuff.
You pick up comics, Core, Wizard and Chips, Beano, Dennis the Menace, the real Dennis the Menace.
Do you remember there's Dennis Sementis, there was his dog Nasher, and then they were trying to, I don't know, expand the brand and they had Rasher.
Nasher had a kid, I think.
He had a puppy that was Rasher and had one fang.
Do you remember that?
Rasher's bacon, right?
Yeah.
That's Dennis Simenis and his dog Nasher.
But Nasher had a kid, and that kid was Rasher.
Rasher.
Nasher's with a G, by the way, Ryan.
Yeah.
So Joe Tonelli likes to try to pretend that he went to high school in Scotland, which is a big deal.
And if you went, those are your formative years.
Kamala Harris went to a Jewish, English-white neighborhood called Westmount.
She went to Westmount High.
So that seems to have formed her personality.
I think a large part of who you are is your formative years.
That's why the word form is in it.
And Joe told us he went to school in Glasgow, Scotland.
So Maddie goes, okay, what are some sayings they have?
Hodjerwicht.
See you people.
Hanging's too good for you.
Ni Dinger.
You must know some of them.
He was able to summon zero.
Zero.
Zero.
I don't even think he knew Achai the New.
Joe, what do they call cars in Scotland?
Because they don't call them cars.
They call them motors.
And a truck is not a truck, it's a lorry.
And the trunk is a boot.
All right, here's a good one.
Oh, you need to go get a plaster.
Yeah, yeah.
What's that, Joe?
I like that Chinese food is called chinky.
Yeah, the chinky.
And it's so accepted that Asian Scots will be like, ma, and I grew up, you know, in a chinky.
Oh, you want to get the chinkies tonight?
It's not remotely offensive.
You find it chinky.
They still sell golly wogs.
We were moving a bunch of boxes in the basement.
My wife goes, you have a racist toy in a box there.
I'm like, no, it's a golly wog.
They're available at every store.
Look up Golly Wog Scotland.
Today, if you go to like a candy store, there'll be a golly wog for sale.
And they're so, you know, they're so not used to blacks that it's not a thing.
It's not like fucking blacks.
Holy shit.
They think they're cute.
That's fucked up.
I've had golly wogs my whole life.
Blackface.
Yeah, that's the kind of thing your grand gets you for your birthday.
I thought we abolished owning golly wogs a long time ago in this country.
I own that exact toy.
I'll bring it in.
Please don't.
My golly wog.
We don't need any more attention like that.
Yeah, he couldn't remember any.
What do you got there?
A bunch of golly wog.
I'm a golly wag.
The American version.
Wait, we have an entrance down here in the gollywog.
Methinks I found it.
The chinky.
What's that?
Who's that little bald guy?
Where's the audio?
Oh, that was what I was singing?
Yeah.
Wait, what?
The flavored fudge?
Alright.
We'll figure out.
Oh, you started off on a good foot.
Yeah, we're losing.
No, no, we've felt down the stairs already.
The secret to keeping the show going is to not dwell.
This is the problem with men over 50.
We're telling a great story.
So we get there, and it was in that Dutch town.
It's in the Netherlands.
Dude, just leapfrog over the name of the fucking town.
Yeah.
We got to keep it going.
And they're like, oot, oot.
Oh, God.
And then they stop and they stare down at the bar, and you're like, we're all still here.
We got to get, my dad is the worst of this.
We got to get going, dude.
We got to keep it rocking.
Let it go.
And then they don't.
They stare.
Then they get out their phone because it's on their phone somewhere.
And then they get distracted by the pictures on their phone.
And then they show you some salmon their grandson caught.
And you're like, dude, he just ruined the whole thing.
I think I talked to that exact guy that you're talking about, the salmon guy?
Yes.
Yes, we did.
At the bar by the train station?
Yep.
What's his name, Jeff?
I don't know, but I know everything about him.
I know what his niece looks like.
I know that they had a kid.
I know the fish that he caught.
It is kind of interesting.
But I didn't know that some of those salmons, those big fish are worth $10,000.
He sold a marlin to the fish.
But what they frame and put, like the hotel will buy it, you put on the wall.
It's not the salmon.
It's not the swordfish.
It's a duplicate that was made with a mold.
So you could just take it.
As a criminal, I'm like, that's a perfect area for fraud.
Let's just start making fake fucking swordfish.
You get me the real one.
I make a mold.
I sell 10.
To 100 grand.
100, yeah.
10 grand and they sell it to a hotel, right?
Yeah.
Lobby.
It doesn't have to be Miami, Florida.
You go on the road.
Dream sequence.
It's like sitting there with airbrushes.
It's just plaster.
Yeah, it's plaster.
Guys, come on.
Albanians, you guys are great at scams.
Me, it's tedious.
Yeah.
He's working her little feet.
He could stand soon.
I don't know about that.
What is that?
Look, I appreciate you brought my goddaughter here, but I got to do work.
I don't need...
What an angel.
You think that's cute?
There's work to be done, my boy.
Do you think that's cute?
She stands on stuff now.
Do you think like her little button nose and her blue eyes and her weird orange hair and her chubby cheeks are cute?
Oh my god.
Not even cute.
She's standing.
That's not even remotely cute.
She's standing.
And that's just pretty.
I'm a big kid now.
Oh, wait, you just did another song.
I'm a big kid now.
That makes people mad?
It shouldn't.
Oh, we were talking about kids.
I'm a big kid now.
Because he's holding her up and pretending she's standing up.
She's her cute with her little funny toes.
All right, that's enough of that.
Oh, right here.
I didn't catch the heathens part, but it's funny.
It's in there.
Ryan on Becker, 1998.
Hey, Maddie, we're not invited to this for some reason.
Check out this creepy clip from Becker with Theodore Danson predicting Ryan.
Okay, I'm interested.
You've got my attention.
Ryan likes anything that involves Ryan.
Correct.
Thanks.
Just put on my cap.
No problem.
Hey, those are kids.
Do they look like my kids?
Hey, what do I know?
My father's Puerto Rican.
Oh, whoa!
Oh!
Dang!
Oh!
Him below the belt.
Dang.
They went and did it on him.
This is from a guy named Dirty Curdy.
He doesn't want us to say his name in case he gets canceled.
Feel free to throw this in the Suggestion box, but and obviously when someone says feel free to do that, they mean we don't take your suggestion box seriously.
I mean, we don't have a suggestion box.
But what about Maddie's own show called Stories from the Slammer?
That's pretty cool.
Where he tells stories and gives insight from his criminal days.
What do you think, Maddie?
Suggestion box and burn it?
The round filing cabinet?
Who knows?
I'm into it.
What do you think, Matthew?
You think you got enough?
I play around with the idea.
Okay.
We're definitely not burning that idea.
Could be a limited series.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, John Kinsman is working on an autobiographical comic book.
When I say autobiographical, maybe you have to be familiar with graphic novels.
It means like Chester Brown, Seth, Matt, what's his name?
See, I'm doing the old guy thing again.
Where it's not like, well, I was born in 1942.
It's just like true stories of your day.
Sometimes it's mundane.
It's my favorite kind of comic book.
But he's going to do one about prison life.
Now, I think that's one of the greatest ideas ever, especially if it's substantial.
What if it's like 100 pages of just him going to canteen, getting his food, a fight breaking out, him just sitting there bored?
Like a page of just him like...
That's quality.
And then the clock just on the clock.
As far as comics go, I mean, who wouldn't want that?
Forget Proud Boys, forget Antifa, forget politics.
Just an autobiographical comic about a guy in prison.
People coming to visit him.
Maybe his, like sometimes you were saying once, sometimes you don't want people to visit you.
Yeah.
You got to go shower and stuff.
You weren't ready.
If you know, like if you speak to your people and you know they're coming and you so you could be up and ready and waiting for when you get the call when they call your housing unit.
Like there's times you'd be out in the middle of a baseball game in the yard and they're calling you for a visit.
Now you're drenched in sweat in shorts and a t-shirt.
Now you got to run back to your unit and they have to open up the compound for you because there's, well, the ones I would hire security, you have controlled movement.
You only get to move 10 minutes every hour.
So then they got to open up the compound to let you run and go there.
It's just a whole...
And then you get there and it's your aunt.
Yeah, and you're like, oh.
Hi, what's your name?
You drove six hours to come see me.
Sandra, is it?
Is it Sandra?
Yes.
Yes, I'm your feet or sister.
Are you my brother or Sweeney?
Just leave.
Just go somewhere else.
Did somebody say that she's pregnant?
Mikey.
Well, remember we updated her and she's a weird bald lesbian with like tribal tattoos on her head.
Now?
Yeah.
I think I've seen someone say, Mikey's pregnant.
I think I've seen on one of the online groups.
Shit.
Oh, man.
That'd be terrible.
My kid's doomed.
Ooh, sexy.
Hottie.
It's actually me, you're gay.
Is that Ryana?
You tricked me into being gay, Ryan.
I did.
Sorry.
My name is Sunyee.
You know why I tricked you?
This thing rules.
Did you just get that now?
I just found out that I could, like, yeah, basically.
Feel free to.
Okay, we already did that.
Hello, Gavin Ryan and the total wussy Maddie, if he's there.
What do I eat?
That's two attacks.
Look up the Aston Lagonda sedan.
It fits the description of the car that Gavin was trying to remember.
There's also a modern version called the Lagonda Taraffe.
So I guess this is from the Austin Martin people?
Aston Martin, yeah.
Aston?
Whoa, no.
Gross?
That's not even in the.
What am I, Batman?
I would be so embarrassed.
If someone bought me that, I would immediately look into reselling.
Wait, unless he's talking about the type of car that you hate that you were talking about.
Well, he said the older ones.
Square-bodied.
Oh, okay.
Let me look it up because you're terrible at your job.
Okay, now we're.
Yeah, that's kind of like that public enemy song.
Sucks to the side.
I know you hate my 98.
It's 98 Oldsmobile.
That's not really where I'm going.
Yeah, that looks like an old car that was trying to be futuristic at the moment.
Yeah, it reminds me of the Chevrolet celebrity my cheap parents bought when I was a kid.
Sorry.
My cheap parents.
Look at the photo of Maddie in the gang newsletter.
He looks absolutely terrifying in this photo.
Towards the end of the NYC Gangland newsletter.
What is the NYC Gangland newsletter?
Oh, no, it's the New York State Intelligence Center.
Because I'm on a domestic terrorist list.
Are we cool with showing this?
Yeah, you can show.
I don't give a fuck.
So you are...
We're both domestic terrorists, I guess.
So it's in the bottom, right?
Well, this, right, if you go underneath, it's the note down.
There I am.
But scroll down, scroll down.
Like, if you look at it, that VGTOF is a violent gang terrorist organization file.
That's why I can't travel with a pen, you know.
I didn't know.
I thought we were joking about you being a gang member.
No.
You've actually been to prison.
It's actually real.
But if you grow, I mean, like, that's not...
When I get released from correctional institutions, there's a group, it's called, they have different sections of the company.
Once here, it's called Magellan, the Mid-Atlantic, Great Lakes, Organized Crime Law Enforcement Network, or some shit like that.
And so wherever communities I'm going to, they disseminate it and put it out and let me know I'm back on the street and stuff.
And they map my movements.
I'm very uncomfortable right now.
Odell has an extensive criminal history encompassing a 20-year span dating back to November 25th, 1988, where you would have been 17.
Yeah.
He has a total of 19 arrests, including three felony charges, one warranting a violent felony classification.
Odell's violent history includes numerous arrests, resulting in a myriad of criminal charges being lodged against him, including criminal possession of a firearm, assault, second with intent to cause physical injury to an officer, attempted assault, intent to cause injury with a weapon,
menacing second weapon, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, violent behavior, reckless endangerment, a lot of violence.
Yeah, that's what I'm known for.
That's kind of your fourteen.
Yeah.
I don't have too many like armed robberies or breaking an energy right now.
any cop that knew me, if they said Maddie went over there and stole something, they'd be like, no fucking way.
Wrong guy.
You catch him fighting in a bar?
Oh, yeah.
That's what I've always said about colonization.
It's a little off topic, but like, why colonize?
Everyone says this is a dumb thing to say, but just buy the stuff you want.
Like, you're Britain.
You're the most successful country in the world.
This is pre-America.
So instead of conquering India and Africa and dealing with all that shit, just like buy their spices.
How much were these spices?
Yeah.
It's insane.
Here's a mirror and some beads.
What did he say?
The picture?
He said something about my picture in that?
He looks terrifying in this photo.
I thought he looked pretty good.
I had brown hair and a brown gold teeth.
You mean young when you say terrifyingly young?
Terrifyingly handsome?
So this is an oldie.
Twist on the rating for Ruma.
Hey, shitheads, love the marathon.
Maybe lay off the nose beers.
Here's an idea that I've been kicking around.
It's hard to explain, and it's going to be even harder for your wasted ass to understand.
Oh, I guess he assumed we'd be reading this live on the marathon last week.
Maybe Ryan and Maddie can help me explain once I throw it out at y'all.
So we know that women can jump points based on how they present themselves.
But I assert that any woman that is a 6.5 or up has at least one time in their life been a 10.
Maybe when she was a baby.
Think of it this way.
Maybe it's at a party or a group of friends gathering.
Maybe it's because she's not into a particular game, band, activity, whatever they're doing.
She becomes hot alpha, and it gives her an attractiveness that she doesn't normally possess.
Maybe it's because of who else is around for the evening or maybe for that particular time of year or month.
Maybe it's because she's with other women that are hotter than her and bring her up because she's with them.
Or on the other hand, she's better looking than everyone else, so it bumps up her rating than she really is.
I'm reading it in the terrible grammar he has.
Whatever the case may be, any woman that is a 6.5 or higher is a 10 at one point in their life.
It may only be for an hour or an evening.
It may only happen once, but she will be a 10, even though she isn't really a 10.
Obviously, an 8.5 is going to have this happen more than a 7.
I think that's true to you, the person perceiving her.
So there's a moment where some average chick, there's just something about her, could be her pants, and you just, your brain goes crazy and makes her a 10.
And she's the one.
Which is why I've never had a problem with airbrushing in magazines, because what you're doing is you're showing the woman the way a guy madly in love with her would perceive her.
Right.
It's not reality.
Yeah.
Sometimes you'll be madly in love with a woman.
You introduce her to your friends and you're like, pretty crazy, right?
And they're like, are you okay?
Because you have different tastes than her, than them.
With no beard?
That looks like my cousin again.
His son.
Hey guys, I had a checkout last night at some point.
Sleep.
We're getting all the going through the old marathon emails.
But waking up and seeing you still going, well, in the worlds of Just Lee Peterson, amazing.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Great stuff.
Manny's the man.
Glad the fag zone is back in action.
But that's a boring email I regret reading.
I wish G-Dog could be my godfather.
He rules, take his offer up on your kid's godfather.
You know what's funny about being a godfather?
You only get the kid if both the parents die in a plane crash and the parents are dead.
A lot of people have to die for you to get the baby.
So you end up wanting the people to die.
Yeah.
Well, didn't you buy a vacation for Carolina, Ryan?
Oh.
Yeah, it's five layovers on single-engine planes.
I think you guys should get more into Sansa flights.
Those little planes are reliable and fun, especially in storms.
Dude, those only go to Sansa flights.
Especially for the environment.
Those little one-prop planes during thunderstorms are a super fun ride.
Don't take the baby, though.
Babies get scared.
So leave the baby with a reliable pal.
Maybe your mom.
Can't think of any.
Okay, maybe.
Would you leave the baby with your mom?
Does she know how to take care of babies?
I don't know.
She could watch a couple of YouTube videos.
Yeah, I don't leave my kids with my parents.
One time I did that, and they watched, my mother watched like a horror movie.
And my daughter was maybe five.
And I go, what happened with that movie?
She goes, it was really scary.
And I go, did you see the scene where the monster eats the baby's face or whatever?
And she goes, no, Nana just put a blanket over my head for those scenes.
Huh.
Okay.
And then another time my mother goes, I'm not watching a fucking cartoon.
And I go, you're supposed to.
You're not supposed to enjoy watching the cartoons with your grandchildren.
You just watch them and you go, oh, that was fun.
Oh, look, they're jumping over a thing.
You enjoy the time spent.
Yeah, it's not like it has to be your favorite movie.
How about you, Lorraine?
Yeah.
Just think when you were pulling that guitar out of her spine.
You know, you had so many different incarnations of your mother's death the other day in the 24-hour marathon.
No.
Yeah.
That's ringing a bell.
She had a guitar in her spine?
There was a couple of different stories of how she met her demise and you saved her each time.
Hmm.
Don't remember.
Maddie, what would it take to have you on daily?
I don't know.
A lot of BJs, a lot of money.
Watch Still Game Best Moments on YouTube.
Show Maddie what he's missing.
You still haven't watched Still Game, have you?
No.
You know, I try to squeeze TV in my day.
But your TV's on 24 hours a day, but it's always on local weather.
You know why that does?
Because when I get up in the morning or whenever I go to my house, I'll put it on, and my cable box automatically goes to News 12.
That's what's always on in your house.
And I just never get the chance to pick the remote up and change it.
If you want to know what the weather's going to be today, check out Maddie O'Dell's house.
Yeah.
24-hour stream.
Okay, let's click on the still game best moments.
Great intro.
Looks at the 70s.
No, that's the 70s.
He's a ginger.
That seems like the 70s too.
I once tried to work out the...
This isn't per decade.
So that's the early 80s, I'd say.
Now we're getting into the 90s.
Oh, that's where we are now.
I think the show is from the 90s.
Women.
Bloody women.
Oh, they love their...
That was my grandfather's job being a bookie for the horses.
Winka!
Turn it up.
I can't hear anything.
Hello, Mr. Ingram.
Oh, my knee!
Where's my stick?
Where did I put it?
You didn't come in here, was Dick.
Oh, yes, I did.
Where is my stick?
Who's missing a leg?
Here it is.
He's my stagger prick.
He is my stagger prick.
Steve.
Hello, Michael.
Yes, it's Jacko.
Yes, yes, your father's pal, huh?
Hey, I'm fine, yes.
You know, I was talking on the Christmas episode about bad being good.
Maybe Scotland taught me to appreciate misery.
Like, it's Drik there every fucking day.
When the sun comes out, it's a freak occurrence.
It's like a solar eclipse.
Everyone runs outside, starts freaking out.
It's like Russia.
80 degrees is a heat wave.
Yes.
People die.
That's an acquired taste.
I don't expect everyone to enjoy still game.
Where did you find a bucktooth dyke with a clit that big?
Video drop.
I know Grumpy McPiss the Bed doesn't like Joey Diaz's accent, but this is one of the greatest lines ever.
Okay.
Clicking, converting.
Okay, that's a weird looking.
On my email, it comes out as a dead video link, Ryan.
I maybe shouldn't have even have clicked on it.
Well, maybe it's a virus of some sort.
I could open it up with a...
I don't care anymore.
I hate Coco Diaz.
I hate the name Coco.
It loaded.
That's what we called Joe Tonelli, calling him a fucking retarded gorilla.
What is Viewfinder?
Oh, he's very young in that clip.
I've never seen him that young.
I don't know what you're saying.
Where'd you find a bucktooth dike with a clip that big?
Gavin, all music is gay and cringe, and you are a fag for liking music so much.
Music is for 16-year-old girls.
Ryan, all fashion is gay and cringe.
Fashion is for 16-year-old girls.
Maddie, you were the one I respected until you revealed you see ghosts.
Mental illness is a high form of faggotry.
Nice.
A lot of abuse today.
It's alright.
I got thick skin.
Speaking of music, this is the part.
Okay, so dream sequence.
I don't remember this.
You just started singing blurry.
After I say I'm blurry, you started to see it.
I remember staring at that little Buddha for like an hour.
We are blurry.
My favorite.
Yeah, good.
Keep it blurry.
No one wants to see that little perfect.
You heard it?
Yeah, I heard it.
That's the beef?
It's up to you.
That you mumbled the lyrics to a song and it played.
No, when I was looking at it, I saw it and me and Caroline found it funny, but I don't think that's what.
That's like the dude who's obsessed with eating on the mic.
Yeah, well, no, a lot of people don't like that.
It doesn't bother me, but I hear that a lot.
What, eating?
Yeah, eating on mic, people go fucking nuts.
That was a big fight on Opie and Anthony.
Yeah.
Anthony was eating grapes.
Yeah, he's like, see if you can dig that up.
I'm eating grapes.
Because he used to eat his yogurt or something.
You could tell that they were falling apart that early in the game.
Grapefight.
Dear Gavin, Maddie, and Emperor of the Fag Zone.
I couldn't believe that Maddie, as a Scott, has not seen Still Game, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, that's enough, Still Game.
I'll get to it.
I promise.
Simmer down.
A lot of people.
You want to eat grapes and we'll do this after the break?
What is it?
A lot of people have had a bunch of yogurt.
Also known as the saw.
Right?
No, that's not.
Wait, is that a saw?
No, a saw is a light machine gun.
Fuck.
I don't do that 49.
I know.
I just.
I don't know.
Squad automatic weapon.
I realize that it's annoying, so I just do it on the side.
All right, in 12 years, you could yell at me.
Whatever.
Come on, I'm fucking around.
You're in a bad fucking mood.
I told you I am.
I know, but don't let it affect the fucking show.
You're in a bad fucking mood.
Has it the last two days?
Yes, it has.
No, it hasn't.
You've been in a cranky fucking mood.
I understand we've been fired from fucking CBS and shit, but let me tell you something.
I'm not the only one that notices.
You're in a cranky fucking mood.
Everyone's noticed.
Do you want me to start talking about what people notice about you?
Leave it alone.
Yeah, tell me.
Leave it alone.
Tell me what people notice about me.
Leave it alone.
I'm not leaving anything alone.
Leave it alone.
Leave it alone.
Be honest.
What happened?
You had a lot of moments over the last few years.
Leave it alone.
Seriously.
How did I have moments over the years?
Leave it alone.
Just leave it alone.
Why leave it alone?
I don't like it.
I don't like leave it alone.
I like fighting.
Leave it alone.
If you don't address it or recognize it, people just sit there and resent me.
And whatever you do with...
And it's good content.
Like, that thing made it to YouTube, and it's still...
How many times has that been viewed?
Yeah.
I've seen it.
768,000.
Where'd you find an outfit buck teeth and a huge clay?
That was the quickest callback.
That's probably the shortest amount of time one can call something back, technically.
That was great.
Does that get better?
I can't remember it really.
Oh, yeah.
Go for the funny show.
I didn't go for a joke today.
That's all.
You're fucking making faces at me.
Leave it alone.
I don't need faces.
Leave it alone.
Seriously.
I'm not going to leave it alone.
You didn't leave it alone.
You know what you can tell in this clip that Anthony grew up with a brother and OP didn't?
Like, people with brothers, they get conflict.
Men without brothers, they just, they go, why are we doing conflict?
Let's stop.
Right.
He wanted to say that what he was doing was annoying him, but now he's countering it.
And now he's like, leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
They can dish it out, but they can't take it.
You'll notice that with play fighting, too, when you're younger, like when you're in your teens, you play fight with a guy who has brothers and he tries to get you in a thing and then he's laughing, whatever.
But when you play fight with someone or even sometimes even pick on someone who never had a brother, they don't know what to do.
Like they get really mad or freaked out or you get a friend in a headlock when you're like 16 who didn't have a brother and he's like, get the fuck off of me, man.
Fuck.
Fuck who's that?
It's called a headlock and I'm about to give you a noogie.
Yeah.
Calm down or you're what you're this close to a Charlie horse.
Opi actually, he did grow up with a brothel.
He did?
Yeah.
He owns a restaurant.
It's called like KJ Fetterland or something like that.
Or like, no, F.H. Riley.
Are they similar in age?
Because he doesn't act like it.
That's hurting my theory.
Are you Ryan Catsu Rivera's dad?
No, that's crazy.
Just another age.
Ryan, if I come up with a theory and it's wrong, bring it up to me after the show.
Okay.
Okay?
Let's drop it.
Let's drop it.
I don't want to drop it.
Just drop it.
No, I want to drop it.
Don't go there.
People say shit about you.
You get theories wrong too, you know.
Go ahead, sir.
People talk about it.
Say theories.
People know the theory.
People, go to the chats.
Just drop.
Trust me, you want to drop it.
You get theories wrong all the time.
I'm not dropping anything.
No, you should drop it because you're going to regret it.
The only thing I'm dropping is my headphones.
My headphones?
Yeah.
There are going to be two things dropping.
My headphone and you on the ground.
You just ruined that whole super fun bit.
My bad.
Asians on the riff.
This is from another Maddie.
Gavin is as Catholic as Milu is straight.
Straight is spelled wrong, by the way.
You're a fake Catholic.
Ask Maddie.
No CCD, no bullshit, no altar serving.
You don't get to sneak in.
Don't talk about the Knights like you altar served for bishops.
You have hurt me today.
Ouchies.
Shouldn't you not judge another's connection with the Lord?
Great show.
Maddie's the shit.
Blah, blah, blah.
That's not interesting.
Have you seen how 2020 divided by 666 is Biden's campaign phone number?
30330?
Yes, of course I have.
Everyone's done that math.
Tell Rye Baby to goog that shit, homeboy.
Yeah, Google 2020 divided by 666.
I'll do that.
Computer.
Computer.
What is 2020 divided by 666?
2020 divided by 666 is approximately 3.033.
Whoa.
What's that called again?
Numerology?
Gematria.
Gematria.
Yeah.
It's part of astrology.
Numerology.
You guys should have someone run and get some nitrous.
Oh, this is back.
We're now all the way back to the things.
Hey, Maddie, bust down 123 burpees for the wood pile.
Oof.
What does that mean?
He wants you to do 123 burpees?
Yeah.
I would rather eat a piece of shit and I'm not exaggerating.
I fucking...
15 burpees.
Even doing like sets at 10, I wouldn't want to do that.
It's brutal.
Okay, we're winding up here.
By the way, tomorrow is New Year's Eve.
We'll all be here for hundreds of hours.
When should we start?
You have to be there for midnight.
You don't want to do a four-hour show.
Maybe we should go like 11 till 1.
Nah.
It kind of similar.
Let's do it at 12.30.
What?
10.30 to 12.30.
That seemed about right.
Yeah, let's do that.
So tomorrow night, 10.30 to 12.30, New Year's Eve special.
We'll be taking calls, having fun.
So this will be our last email.
My boyfriend Don Fry would beat the shit out of your boyfriend.
Wait a minute.
This guy's talking about bears and boyfriends, and this is a pre-taped show.
Hey, what's up, MCP Pants and Helmet Head?
I just wanted to show you my breathtakingly gorgeous boyfriend Don Fry when he was in his prime, beating the living shit out of everybody in the world.
In real life, I might add a not in fake movies like your utter, like your butt-ugly boyfriend, Jason Statham.
You know what?
When you insult my boyfriend Jason Statham, I just feel bad for you because I go, you're a dead man.
Like, I'm just, I'm going to sit back here and watch him fucking roundhouse kick your head off.
He's got no lips.
Then he does a barfing emoji for Jason Statham.
Don Fry's amazingly beautiful physique makes Jason Statham look like he's dying of leukemia.
Don's getting a bit older now, but when he was in his prime, he was arguably the most beautiful man and most dangerous man at the same time.
I challenge you to find a man who is more handsome and dangerous.
He looks like Don Sheligon steroids.
He does.
He does.
I like the sound of that.
Handsome and dangerous.
That should be like our motto.
Yeah, yeah.
Our subhead.
Handsome and dangerous.
The baby monsters, handsome and dangerous.
I like you more than a bald eagle with sunglasses and high heels on.
Wes, you can say my name.
You didn't show the picture he included.
We should see his idea of a hunk.
This is the most recent email, Ryan.
It came in at 2.05.
Okay.
I just gave away when we record these.
Okay.
We started with a bear and a hunk, and we should end with a bear and a hunk.
There you go.
B and an H. There he is, breathtakingly gorgeous.
Now, look at the guy in the crowd behind him.
It's almost his body double.
Yeah.
There he is.
He looks identical.
There's two.
I'm jealous of this guy.
But why is he in the background?
His head is bigger than the guy in the front.
What the fuck?
What happened to your head, dude?
You buy hats on the internet?
Your hat's custom made.
He's ego guy, too.
He's head guy too.
I have a theory.
He wears stretchy hats.
My theory, that's his body double.
And he's like, no, you can go to the front road with a fight.
It's fine.
There's no internet.
So, you know, nobody's going to see you.
And so that's a mask over a guy's head.
That's why it's bigger.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
Wish we could turn back time to the good old days.
When the mama sang us to sleep, but now we're stressed out.
Wish we could turn back time to the good old days.
When the mama sang us too sweet, but now we're stressed out.
We're stressed out.
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