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Nov. 22, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:33:50
S04E57 - DID YOU SEE KYLE?
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Time Text
Mini Man, which death fuck on me Blood in my dog and I can't see I'm John Live from New York Get Off My Lawn with a Kevin Fucking with me My back on the wall,
now you gon' see Better watch how you talk when you talk about me Cause I come and take your life away, many, many, many, many, many, many Wish you never fucking me, no, I don't find no more Don't look to the sky no more Have mercy on me niggas put money on my head,
go on get the reef by motherfucker, I ain't dead I'm the diamond in the dirt, that ain't been found I'm the underground king, and I ain't been crowned When I rhyme, something special happen every time I'm the greatest, something like I lead in this crime I walk the block with the bundles,
I've been knocking the humble Swing the ops when I rumble, show your ass with my gundle Gotta temper nigga, go head, lose your head Turn your back on me, get clapped and lose your legs I walk around, gun on my waist Chip on my shoulder, tall buster Clip in your face, post to this bitch ain't no Many men Many,
many, many, many men I had the safety on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hello, welcome to Kyle Rittenhouse Appreciation Day.
We're happy to have you.
And we're very excited to discuss this fantastic day.
We're all very happy.
Ryan, are you happy?
Oh, your arm too.
We're both strapped.
I like to wear this thing when I'm carrying it around so if I'm doing any sort of medicine and I'm helping someone, I don't have to worry about someone stealing it.
Does that sound logical to you?
Yes, it does.
And if I was...
Are you just trying to shoot people though?
Because having a fire extinguisher and putting out fires doesn't really...
You can maximize shooting if you don't do that.
Just letting you know.
Okay, well, I grew up in this community, and I work here.
My dad lives here.
It's part of my neighborhood.
And it's been burned to the ground many times for no good reason.
So I just felt like I should go there and see if people need help and try to protect it.
Because the police aren't.
There's no police.
There's no National Guard.
In fact, the riots are encouraged by almost half the country, the DNC.
They talk about room to riot back in Baltimore days.
Or they call it the summer of love.
In fact, they demanded there was riots.
Nancy Pelosi said, I don't know why there aren't more people in the streets.
Tim Kaine said, we need to take it to the streets.
His son is in Antifa.
Maxime Waters said, go harass conservatives.
So when the government advocates the destruction of the country, people take up arms.
Isn't that how we started this whole thing in the first place?
Kamala on Fallon on Colbert said she hopes that it continues.
Remember that?
Fucking dummy.
That's the only time that her ridiculous laugh is justified.
That opening song, of course, was Many Men, an oldie but a goodie from 50 Cent.
And I was inspired to play it because obviously the song is about someone who doesn't want to kill.
But when you're out there trying to blow me away, you're going to die.
And Maj Ture put it up.
He changed the N-word to devil, which I think is more accurate.
And play that video.
Now you gon' see.
Better watch how you talk when you talk about me.
JoJo.
He took away JoJo's life.
Speaking of the system, look at this crazy homeless man ranting about a bunch of dumb bullshit.
Oh, these homeless people, they really are useless, aren't they?
Why?
It's this easy.
It's called divided parking.
That's why there's two parties and only two.
And they're controlled by the same people at the very top.
They belong to the Council of Corporations, the Builder Brigade, the Alpha Trilateral Commission.
And you people don't even know what the hell that is.
These are the people that control you.
Here's how we work.
The people that are demonstrating are not aware of the victim.
If you're not aware of it, then it works.
If you know about it, then it don't work no more.
If you have socialism without capitalism, it becomes communism.
If you have capitalism without socialism, it becomes fascism.
And it's just that easy.
Make you Republican.
Pretty good, huh?
Amazing.
Not bad, Looney.
The only problem is he has marbles in his ass, as Patrice O'Neill would say.
Marbles in his ass.
They discredit themselves by looking that way, or Alex Jones, when he talks about aliens or something, that's putting marbles in your ass.
You're saying the truth, but also you're like a little, people see you as a little wacky.
Okay, thank you for that.
That's why the government lets people survive like that.
That was great.
My only problem with it, he goes, if we don't know we're divided.
I know I'm divided and I like it.
You ever talk to a guy who got divorced and he's really happy?
And we're going through the divorce and I'm happy to get rid of this stupid bitch that's called half the country.
Good.
Bye-bye.
I'm so partisan now that I'm going to start embracing hypocrisy.
So I'll find out something bad about your side.
And then when you point out something bad about my side, I'm going to deny it.
I'm playing Dirty Pool now.
No more Mr. Nice Guy.
No more Mr. Fair guy.
When they pull out fake ballots and a big hockey bag in the middle of the night, I go, where's my hockey bag?
Why aren't we intimidating jurors?
Why don't we photograph jurors and make them scared of the backlash?
I am done.
Here we go.
I'm done.
I don't know.
Does that really how I feel?
That it's absolutely irrevocable?
I mean, I tried.
Back before Trump, I had liberal friends.
And I would spend hours.
I'd buy them books.
I'd send them articles.
Sometimes after a year and a half, I'd sway someone over to like immigration reform by saying it only makes the whites rich in both countries, the white Mexicans and the white CEOs.
That was a thing.
But then they just go back.
They want to hate us.
So fuck you.
Very awkward situation.
So when we finished the show on Friday, we just found out that Kyle Rittenhouse was free.
So that's going to be a strong theme of today's show.
But shortly after that, as you all know, a BLM activist, career criminal, attacked with his car a bunch of innocent people.
Did you get the footage of that?
Disturbing.
It's going to be hard to watch, but here we go.
He almost ran over a kid in the second angle.
Got so close.
I mean, he did injure children.
I think 16 out of the 30 were children.
It's racial.
It's racial.
It's revenge for Rittenhouse.
He hates white people.
And this is obviously his responsibility.
I'm not absolving him of any culpability, but the media narrative, pushing this whole whites get justice and blacks don't help spawn.
That bullshit helped spawn this lunatic.
See, that's the problem with bullshit.
When you keep pushing it, eventually you're going to find a retard.
It's like to catch a predator.
You know, you put some 13-year-old on the internet saying, I'm horny, and eventually you're going to find a fucking disgusting retard who falls for it.
Oh, no.
Look, he just hates their whiteness.
This is like 50 miles from Kenosha, I think.
It's the last thing you expect when you're in a parade.
How many died?
Let's see.
Yeah, he's a...
And the media, of course, they were like this when they saw it and they thought, please be MAGA, please be MAGA, please be MAGA.
And then they see it's a black guy, and he's BLM, and they go, let's just drop it.
And it's dropped.
It's Monday now.
You're not really hearing about this story.
It's already off the books because he doesn't fit the narrative and they don't want to show that.
And he was BLM.
This isn't just a regular dude.
Just like the shooting in Dallas where they killed cops, that was BLM.
Just like our favorite guys here that we are determined never to forget.
Oh, shit.
Who?
With the two cops?
Yeah.
Rafael Ramos.
Raphael Ramos.
And Win Jan Liu.
Win Jan Liu.
Good work, Ryan.
You have a better brain than me.
Trigger discipline.
There you go.
I'm so bad with guns that I always make sure they're aimed somewhere where it wouldn't be a huge deal if it went off.
Right.
Yeah, so like if you swipe it to the left to bring it forward, you would, yep.
Perfect.
Literally perfect.
So he's a child, he's a sex offender as well.
Oh, great.
Isn't this true?
Let's see it now.
So the first report was 30 people injured.
So they said multiple fatalities.
They don't give a number, but I'm guessing 10 then if the overall count was 30 and they're saying 20 people injured.
Let's see their faces.
Registered sex offender.
When this first happened, like over the weekend, I found it really hard to find Daryl Brooks' face.
Today it's not so bad.
He's a rapper, so he puts himself out there.
Did you see his rap?
No.
Is it good?
What if it was awesome?
What if it was awesome and MAGA?
Right?
Collab with Tom McDonald?
Yeah, he actually drove through this crowd because he knew they were mostly liberals, and he was mad that it took so long for Rittenhouse to be acquitted.
So let's dive into Rittenhouse, shall we?
Now, of course, this is ancient news now, but some woman was like, I am a monument.
And she had a meltdown just for fame.
She just wanted to be noticed.
And this is a thing with African Americans, I've noticed, where fame is impressive in and of itself.
Like, I remember when, remember I told you that story, I was with a state trooper and his brother, and there was this black dude who mows lawns at Trump Links, the Trump golf course.
And he was like, how come you have so much notoriety?
How come you have, he wasn't using these terms, so much influence.
And he resented my fame.
He didn't care why.
And he was like, you crack his.
He basically was doing the thing from Guns, Germs, and Steel, the Jared Diamond book and documentary, where they go, why does the white man have so much cargo?
He wanted me to have less cargo.
I'm like, dude, I've been in media since 1992, and you've been mowing lawns your whole life.
How did you expect this Would pan out.
It's sort of like that black dude when I was at the diner in Atlantic City and he was like, Mr. Black Power, he assumed I was a racist and kind of respected it in a weird way.
Like, I'm black power, he white power.
That's normal.
So he never said congratulations, but he did, because I've seen you a lot in the news.
You get around.
A lot in the news.
Impressive.
He never used adjectives.
Congratulations.
He kept using adjectives that could go either way, you know?
And then on the weekend, I went boxing and there was this black dude we went with.
I shook his hand.
I forgot him.
And he goes, dude, every time we meet, you introduce yourself.
And then everyone goes, did you really introduce yourself to Brian again?
Or whatever his name was?
I already forgot his name, Dion, we'll say.
And they're like, dude, what's the matter with you?
As a joke, I go, I'm sorry, I'm racist.
It's hard to remember black people.
And the white guys laughed.
He didn't laugh.
I think, like, to them, white supremacy is such a common concept that there's no denying it now.
Now it's like prison.
There's like the Mexicans over here, the Muslims here, the white Aryan nations guys there, and they have a mutual respect.
It's idiotic.
Oh, is that him?
Oh, I remember seeing Math Boy.
Uh-oh, please don't be good.
Please don't be good.
Milwaukee.
I just got a load worth about a half a ticket.
30 in the blicker when I'm out here chasing chicken.
Was observing to the game when I used to play the benches.
Now I spiked the bitch and got him looking at me different.
I can't get forgetting.
They all with a stitching in.
So he was a pimp.
And he's a registered sex offender because he was pimping out a 15-year-old.
But his contention is she told him he was 18.
She was 18.
So he shouldn't be listed as a sex offender.
All he is is a pimp.
So he keeps female sex slaves and uses them, keeps them addicted to drugs, and then takes the money they get from sex.
And there's no stigma there either.
So white supremacists and pimps are like, whatever.
I'm jealous.
In fact, it's a compliment to be pimping, right?
You have little kid costumes that are pimp costumes with like a Zoot suit, they're a little outdated, and a big fedora and a gold chain.
And hi, mom, I'm a pimp.
That's slavery.
It's sex trafficking.
Anyway, the common sentiment from the left, and I think I'm inclined to agree, that a black man wouldn't have gotten off if he was Kyle Rittenhouse.
Oh, yeah, that's the thing we were talking about earlier.
The monument.
Yeah.
I'm a monument.
I'm a man.
She wants to be on the cover of time.
She doesn't care about Rittenhouse.
She didn't watch the trial.
And then she does this fake.
She just wants to get in the history books.
What a faulty.
My dad did this when he saw my first tattoo.
It's fake.
What's this obsession with people getting up?
Have you noticed this?
Like, when someone gets knocked out, they keep trying to lift the guy up.
If someone is having trouble getting up, don't pick them up.
Why do they got to get up?
Fuck 12, it says on an adult's trench goat.
12 meaning the police.
And Jason Foster.
What a boring seizure.
Yeah, that sucked.
As far as fake seizures go, that one reeked.
What's 1-6 now?
This is people.
Tracy.
E. Coder?
Tracy E. Coder?
Who's this?
Tweet?
Circle?
Oh, Blackness Everdeen.
We had to beg for the life of Julius Jones yesterday.
Meanwhile, Kyle Rittenhouse will walk free today.
This is not a flaw in the system.
This is the design.
Yeah, that seemed to be the common thing.
I am not surprised, but I am hurt.
I am not...
I'm done, but I'm not giving up.
They sound kind of happy.
You know what I mean?
I told me and my cousin text about deals at White Castle and stuff, and I said, hey, I'm going to celebrate Kyle Rittenhouse's acquittal today or his not guilty verdict.
And he was like, I knew that was going to happen.
I was like, what do you mean?
He's like, well, it's an all-white jury.
There was only one black.
Was this your black friend who Lou LARPs is a Mad Max guy?
No, no, no.
He might be based, actually.
He doesn't like BLM.
But my cousin was like, yeah, it was an all-white jury.
I was like, so the logic here is the jury loves white people, but this white guy killed two white people.
So they still don't want to send him to jail.
And what about any white person that's ever been in jail ever?
But I think if you look at cases, you'd be hard pressed to find blacks who got away with self-defense.
You think so?
Yeah, look at the prisons today.
They're full of black people.
I'm sure many of them claim self-defense.
Like, I'm pretty open-minded when it comes to racism.
I don't support BLM and any of that.
But if you're to take a white guy and a black guy, Rittenhouse and another guy, same trial, same details, you know that the black guy is more likely to go to jail.
It's not like there's dozens of cases.
What about this guy who shot the kids in the school?
He literally didn't go to jail.
Yes, that's one case, and that's why everyone knows about it because it was so weird.
And a lot of people were pissed off about this, that he went home the next day and he had a party and a GoFundMe.
And the GoFundMe got taken down, by the way.
Joy Reed was not pissed about that, by the way.
No, she liked it.
She was very happy.
They showed a picture of her face reacting to the Rittenhouse trial, and it was like this.
And then a face of her with Simpkins, and it was like this.
Dude, one of the worst parts of this job is having to stay on top of media and having to look at faces like Joy Reed's.
She's the ugliest woman that has ever been on television.
She's an ugly man.
What about this?
Both these boys charged with murder, both claim self-defense, both found not guilty today, same day.
Okay.
Two cases.
Big deal.
Let's go back to the somewhat justified anger that is Amber Ruffin.
Again, this is not a black person.
This is a white black.
She cut her chops in the Netherlands doing improv.
Her parents paid for her to go take improv in college.
She took improv as a course.
What?
And she couldn't make it in the States, so she went to Germany where they worship anyone who's remotely ethnic.
And there she met her man, and he pays all her bills.
And she just, some people are successful just by being there.
And she just attended enough look-at-me festivals until people said, all right, I'll look at you, even though you are devoid of talent.
What's she got to say?
You guys, because I have my own show, I have a responsibility to say things that people need to know that aren't being said.
Agreed.
It's a cool opportunity that I don't take lightly.
There are very big, obvious truths that no one wants to say on TV, but I will.
You know what I can tell?
What?
Like you, she doesn't read.
I read some things.
Oh, yeah.
What'd you last read?
Again.
Good example.
I forgot, but I did read.
Okay.
Because can't you see the way she reads that no one wants to say on TV?
She does that Biden thing where the sentences are cut off halfway and they don't have the proper cadence.
And if you have that affliction and you're not a reader, don't read.
Like just speak from the heart and you can have ums and pauses there.
It'll be a lot more sincere.
I don't think she even wrote this.
So she's reading a script a white person wrote.
And she thinks it's her voice because she assigned it.
She said, I want to say something about that.
Can you give me a hand?
Of course, that means write 100% of what I have to say.
A few minutes before we started taping the show, Kyle Rittenhouse, the man accused of shooting three people during a Black Lives Matter protest, was declared not guilty on all charges.
It's a protest.
Wouldn't he be called a teen if the races were reversed?
There's still a teen at the end of his age.
Yeah.
I can't believe I have to say this, but.
It's not okay for to grab a rifle, travel across state lines, and shoot three people and then walk free.
It's not okay for the judicial system to be blatantly and obviously stacked against people of color.
See?
It's not okay for there to be an entirely different set of rules for white people.
But I don't care about Cow Rittenhouse.
I don't care about that racist judge.
And I don't care about his motherfucking jury must be.
White people have been getting away with murder since time began.
If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.
Who?
Me?
You matter.
Neo-fascist?
Every time one of these verdicts come out, it's easy to feel like you don't, but I'm here to tell you that you do.
You matter.
White male conservatives?
You matter so much that the second you start to get a sense that you do, a man will grab a gun he shouldn't have in the first place and travel all the way to another state just to find it.
State lines.
You got to get state lines in there.
What about the kid that had the gun that he shot?
What about that guy?
Yeah.
Didn't he have no business?
He literally had no business being there.
He was a felon.
He's not allowed to have a handgun.
And he went to a rally with a handgun.
Ooh, that's a hate crime right there, bro.
The fuck.
Let's close our eyes and try to tolerate Joy Reed's face for the moment.
Wait, this too.
Released on bail after the one teacher.
That was the...
Wait, what was that?
That was a black dude who got away with self-defense?
Absolutely.
Let me see the headline.
Okay, well, there's suspected Texas high school gummen released on bail.
Yeah, that's the same guy, right?
Oh, I'm sorry, it was this one.
St. Paul man who shot at MPD in self-defense, acquitted of all charges by jury.
What's his name?
He's St. Paul man Jalil Stallings.
Okay, three.
Three acquitted.
You found three guys.
Two counts of attempted second-degree murder.
However many millions of people there are in America.
Look at all those charges.
Correct.
Let me see.
Including two counts of attempted second-degree murder, two counts of first-degree assault, two counts of second-degree assault, second-degree riot, and interintentional discharge of a firearm that endangered safety.
Oh, wow.
So you have three freak occurrences.
That's correct.
Let's do Joy Reid now.
Let's do her.
Imagine having to fuck her.
How much would you have to be paid to fuck Joy Reid?
I would like fucking off the top of my head, what's a good figure?
Let's see.
$700,000 and a trillion, $300,000, billion dollars.
So you would say no to $699 trillion, kajillion dollars.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Not a dime less.
He's the guy paying for all this, too.
You were a hedge fund billionaire, and now you have 80 bucks?
What happened?
I paid Gavin McInnes a hundred trillion, billion, zillion to fuck Oprah, and then his sidekick, Ryan, I ended up paying him to fuck Joy Reed.
And then I ended up paying Maddie Odell to fuck, what's her name from SNL, who was in Ghostbusters?
Leslie Jones.
Leslie Jones.
Leslie Jones.
They broke me.
But I have these great pornos if you want to watch them.
I'm a philanthropist.
I was not at all surprised.
We've talked about this.
I mean, this is what we expected to happen.
Because I think we have to keep in mind when we're watching the criminal justice system at work.
Imagine that's a security guard named Clarence.
Is he getting any pussy at all?
Like you just, if he'd be your buddy, he's a good guy.
Sometimes you bring him a coffee when you're going to Work, but in the back of your head, you're like, poor bastard.
No one's fucking him.
He must just get prostitutes.
Like a fat chick.
But then she wakes up after being drunk and sleeping with him.
She was like, that really wasn't worth it.
She looks like a bad drawing.
Like the proportions are wrong.
Like that nose.
It's bigger than Mr. Potato Head's.
She looks like Tyler the Creator.
She looks like a broken Mr. Potato Head.
Like, you know, that mean guy in Toy Story, Sid?
Of course you do.
Of course I do.
She looks like one of Sid's toys.
Sid's creations, yeah.
It's Sid's chocolate potato head.
And it looks like that because he burned it.
Chocolate potato head.
He melted it with a butane torch.
Not dissimilar.
No, he's relatively handsome.
He's a good-looking guy.
That's because you've seen him enough.
No, no.
He would get laid.
I'm sure he did get laid when he was an intern at Supreme.
Why do I know that?
He was an intern at Supreme?
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, that's how he cut his chops.
I'm seeing it.
Okay, go ahead.
Terrible.
Once again, Detective Shitty unannails it.
Unannails.
It was designed to do exactly what it did today.
Gun laws helped to enhance the design to allow this verdict to happen today.
This country was built on the idea that white men had a particular kind of freedom and a particular kind of citizenship.
That only him.
He's like, yep, it gives.
This is why we pay you the big bucks.
This is when Tucker, if she was on Tucker, Tucker would be going.
From the slave catchers on, the right to inflict violence in the name of protecting property.
That's like the foundational creation of the United States.
So it would have been shocking.
The real, I'm glad you mentioned the Derek Chauvin verdict.
That was the surprising verdict.
This would have been unsurprising.
But what I do think we have to think about is not only the families of the two men who died and the family of the growth crisis.
They are, you know, they should be in our minds right now because they suffered.
And there have been a lot of white people who have, you know, defended black lives and paid for it with their lives.
That goes all throughout our history.
She's from like Ohio.
Her parents are aristocrats who came here from Africa.
Probably, you know, barons, some sort of related to some sort of monarch, warlord, whatever.
And she was too stupid to do anything at Yale but film.
Just like the previous chick, she took improv, and this bitch watched movies and called them racist, I assume.
Not talking through a movie, she deserves an action.
We're going to do that on Thursday.
Maddie and I are going to watch a biker movie, that one where they go, we want to be free to ride our machines without being hassled by the man.
We want to get loaded.
That movie.
I think it's called like Wild 666 or something, Wild Wings.
Anyway.
You don't think that she has a point that...
What's this?
Do you remember this in 2018?
In Volksbury, Pennsylvania, black man acquitted of all charges in the shooting death of white man.
Okay.
That stemmed from ugly racism.
So it was self-defense.
So four cases is all you can come up with out of millions.
San Francisco, what do you call it?
San Francisco politicians, bureaucrats, basically.
They're all bureaucrats to me, but bureaucrats in San Francisco are not happy.
Let's check this out.
What do they got to say about Kyle?
I saw one tweet where this guy goes, are conservatives the only one who watched the trial?
Yeah.
Take race out of it, if that's even humanly possible in America today.
And it's a cut and dry depiction of self-defense.
And you know what I saw?
I saw some dude, I think it was Grindface, actually.
Grindface, who goes, the jumping kick man was trying to save lives.
So if he had been more effective and maybe knocked Kyle out, it would have saved lives.
That's kind of true.
But the people that were there, the lives he would have saved were murderers.
They wanted to kill Kyle Rittenhouse.
You know how many times they would have kicked him in the head after he was lying there unconscious?
Which is, I think, my least favorite thing in the world is seeing someone kicked in the head when they're passed out.
It's like necrophilia.
It's a dead body, basically.
When I'm God, mark my words.
When I'm God, I'm going to outlaw that.
That and burpees.
Do you do burpees?
No.
No, I do not.
I want to make burpees illegal.
Former players, but I...
We are all black people.
And so I wanted to make sure that we tend to overact and over-remote and get real dramatic with things.
And I bet you she's not black.
I bet you just like every other black woman on TV, she grew up in Idaho with her white mom and her black dad was around for a week.
And if he stayed around, then he was a professor or some fucking loaded hedge fund dude and didn't really like black people.
There's one black guy at the table and he's pissed.
He's looking at them like...
Here's a real light.
Like this black guy can get away with wearing a black blazer.
It would look like I'm just wearing a bib if I was wearing that.
I have to wear fucking blue, patterned, Steve Harvey colored shit.
Otherwise, it looks like I'm naked with a necktie.
Space for anything that we want to say here before we talk about basketball.
Well, I just, I think the scariest part about this, like, you know, so many people talk about not being surprised.
And if you live in America, if you know the history of America, you're not surprised.
I think the scariest part about this is- Again, with the slave catchers.
Do you know how much of a bitch you look like when you're constantly griping?
Imagine a Scottish person constantly bitching about the, I don't know what it was, 600 years we were at war with the English and just not dropping it.
You'd think the guy was mentally ill.
It's embarrassing.
You look like a pussy.
I mean, even someone complaining about, I don't know, getting beat up as a kid.
If you're 40 years old and you're like, I got picked on in grade school.
Okay.
Move On.
Move on.
By saying that he is not guilty, they are saying that everything he did was lawful.
Correct.
Correct.
Yes.
Next segment.
Yes.
The only shooting you should be talking about is a three-pointer, sir.
And that's the part that worries me.
Like, they were trying to not paint him.
He was a kid that took a gun across state lines and went and did what he did.
And they are saying that that is lawful.
So to me, that just makes it, you know, even that more concerning that these acts are being proven that, like, hey, if this is what you want to do and you want to go into a crowd and you want to do this, then, you know, a judge and a jury can find you not guilty.
And I think that just makes the tension in these situations even worse.
Park.
I mean, I'm just with all the other players.
I'm not surprised.
I mean, you know, we have been going through.
It's just mind-boggling to me.
And it's very disturbing that, you know, it's not just a gun, right?
We're talking about an AK, something that is very big.
AK.
You know, you have to be Uzi.
Tense or whatever the case may be.
And I just.
That's like if we were talking about basketball and we're like, so the soccer ball he threw into the goal hoop.
What?
To be honest, that's how off it is.
Like if we were to call a goal.
Please just stop.
Please stop.
I really don't want to say the wrong thing because I don't want to lose my job, so I'm going to leave it at that.
So you're such a pussy that you can't talk about, like in his world, right?
I don't know if he's one of these people that believes that it was black people who got shot, but he believes that it was people fighting for black rights.
So he believes that we are in a society that is so unjust that white guys can just cross state lines and just shoot black or black sympathizers, black ally, and then the courts high-five them.
So he thinks that's a world we live in, which is retarded.
But you don't have the balls to speak out because you like your job?
What kind of pussy loser piece of shit are you?
You're living in, like, let's say it's, I don't know, 1800s America in your mind.
We've got the Klan running shit, and you're not going to say anything bad about the Klan because you don't want to lose your job?
What?
What a weak person.
Fuck, that make me mad.
Yo, they're just killing black people for sport around here, but I'm not even about to object.
I'm making $350K a year just talking about basketball.
So they can kill them niggas.
What the fuck?
As long as I'm good.
As long as I'm straight.
I got my money right.
Remember that kid that there was no video proof that he was being violent or aggressive, but the mother of his girlfriend killed him.
So she killed her daughter's boyfriend.
And there was some footage of it, but none of it included him being aggressive or violent.
And just trying to go to sleep.
So five.
Acquitted.
Stabbing him big.
Five blacks got self-defense.
The ACLU is not happy about what happened with Rittenhouse.
That's true.
They've got some shit to say.
The American Civil Liberties...
What's the U?
Union?
Union?
What a gay LARPing concept.
So you're pretending you're a union?
And what are you going to do?
Go on strike?
We want all the civilians to go on strike.
Oh, wait, that's not the ACLU.
ACLU is 2-3.
And we never did the San Francisco politicians.
Utterly incoherent statement.
I love Michael Tracy.
He's a great follow.
Click on that.
It's conveniently highlighted for...
He was not held responsible for his actions.
Like the ACLU treats themselves, they're lawyers, they treat themselves like this sort of bastion of justice and fairness.
That's their whole reason for existing, is to be fair and give fair takes.
He was not held responsible.
So a trial where he's facing 20 years per charge almost, they range from 12 and a half to 20 years, so a life sentence, is not being held responsible.
The events in Kenosha stem from the deep roots of white supremacy in our society's institutions.
That's also just an accepted fact to them on the right.
I mean, sorry, on the left.
What is one white guy being supreme over two other white guys, three other white guys?
Like, they imply the post office is racist.
It's just deeply intrinsic in everything we do.
Our food is racist.
Our oil, our gas.
It's all steeped in racism.
It's dripping.
It's everywhere.
It's like we got slimed in Ghostbusters.
I saw that movie, by the way, yesterday.
How was it?
Pretty good.
Amazing.
Right?
Yeah, I heard it was great.
There's one, you have to accept there's always a woke moment.
And the woke moment in this movie is they get to this new town where Spangler went to stop the world being destroyed by ghosts.
And they arrive at some roller skate burger joint.
And he's like, mom, I hate it here.
Why do we move?
Oh my God.
And he sees the most beautiful woman in the world.
And then the camera pans over and it's a black six.
That's the thing now.
Like Prince Harry has to date a black girl and Spider-Man has to be in love with what's her name?
Zendaya.
And you're like, I know there's hot black women, don't get me wrong.
But that's not it.
And I just knew she had to be, it was going to be black.
Oh my God, what is she doing in this perfect town?
He's a racist.
But besides that, it was actually very unwoke.
Teachers get shat on regularly.
At one point, the girl in it calls it a day camp for bureaucrats to indoctrinate children.
That's what school is.
And you're like, thank you.
And then Paul Rudd plays a teacher who all he does is show The kids horror movies.
He shows them Cujo, he shows them Chucky, and then he works on his own projects in the back room.
Perfect.
And it's all about revelations.
It's saying, it quotes revelations where the Bible says that the demons will rise up, and that's exactly what happens.
So it's pro-Bible in that sense.
And Dan Ackwright has a tattoo that says Revelations.
Boy, they're really giving a lot away in this trailer here.
I guess I can tell you that the demons got out.
Those beans are spilled.
And then the big dogs chase him.
There is one tiny flaw in the film.
It's not a political thing.
It's a hole in the plot.
Where the kids get arrested for using their taser doohickey and destroying a part of the town.
But they were chasing a ghost.
And no one saw the ghost?
It was in the day.
He's massive.
He looks like a giant, you know those things that last forever?
Water bears?
Oh, tardigrades, yeah.
Yeah, those tiny, tiny, tiny, like the size of a molecule kind of guys.
This guy?
Yeah, that guy, Muncher.
No one saw him.
What?
But yeah, great fucking movie.
Not too woke.
No spoilers, but just make a face is slimer in it.
Just make a face?
Yeah, just make a face reactant.
Like this would be a yes.
You know what you talk like?
Someone, my friend was in a car accident, my friend Ryan Rivera.
And he had to learn to walk again and talk.
And now I got you a job co-hosting a show, but you're clearly not recovered.
And everyone goes, hey, man, it's really cool that you gave Ryan a show.
It's not on.
It's not on the internet.
It just goes into the existing.
It's not even recording.
And everyone just thinks I'm a great guy because it's sort of like when you see someone with Down syndrome fight an MMA fighter and he's like, ow, oh.
And then everyone's like, yeah.
And the handicapped guy's like, I did it.
I knocked him out.
Yes.
That's you.
So it's make-a-wish, the TV show.
Correct.
Hurtful.
Let's go back to San Francisco, though.
We never showed that.
Oh, wait.
Sorry, let's finish this.
The events at Kenosha stem from the deep roots of what, yeah, I got that.
Rittenhouse's trial highlights an urgent need for reform for both police and the criminal legal system.
The system is broken and desperately needs to be fixed.
I mean, I'm inclined to agree.
Ryan can only name five times when blacks got away with self-defense.
Kyle Rittenhouse was a juvenile who traveled across state lines on the vigilante mission.
Well, that's just false.
Can't we sue the ACLU?
That's fucking bullshit.
Violence in defense of white supremacy.
So Kyle Rittenhouse went there because whites are better than everyone else.
What?
That's just fucking retarded.
Well, you know what we should do?
There's a part of New York by the Delaware River where it's PA, NJ, and NY.
They all sort of meet in that one thing.
Near Madam Morrison, Port Jervis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, Port Jervis might be a little too far south.
But anyway, that area.
We should go there with signs that say, stop crossing state lines.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that's all people do in that area every day.
And I know gun owners there that are constantly shitting their pants because they're like, PA is good.
NJ ain't.
So if I take a wrong turn and I end up in New Jersey, I could go away for five years.
Like our buddy at the boxing match on Saturday couldn't take his gun.
What's my count at?
Because here's another one.
In a perfect world, he would have been charged in juvenile court.
Oklahoma acquitted a murder trial over shooting when he was 18.
What's his name?
Jesus Lima.
Jesus Lima.
Okay, so maybe he's Hispanic?
He was attacked by four other people.
Okay, I'll give you that.
That's only six, though.
I don't think they were armed.
Go back to San Francisco getting mad about the case.
No justice until Black Lives Matter.
Okay.
Watch this.
I just made it so.
Black Lives Matter.
There you go.
Another dark and shameful day.
Truly horrific.
These are politicians that work for the city of San Francisco.
Truly horrific, not only for the surviving loved ones of Rittenhouse victims, but also for the countless Americans, young and old, who hear loud and clear that there are two justices in America, two worlds still vastly divided by racism and hate.
What a fuck.
Do they believe this?
That's what I want to know.
I want to inject heroin into their veins and have them go, oh man, it's the same trial for everyone.
He gets votes.
He gets votes.
The decision to find Kyle Rittenhouse not guilty on all charges is a stunning failure to bring justice on behalf of those he murdered.
What?
Verdicts like this threaten our ability to maintain a civil society and mitigate rampant gun violence.
I mean, are you stupid or are you a liar?
I don't know.
Why does he have Chinese in his name?
The fuck is that?
Is this the new thing?
Your pronouns and now your Chinese name?
This verdict demonstrates that our work to make our legal system equal, fair, and just is more urgent than ever, at least to use an Oxford comma.
Prosecutors have a critical role to play in criminal justice reform and securing equal justice under the law.
We will continue our fight for justice.
Embarrassing.
Embarrassing.
None of these people could have possibly watched the trial.
There's no fucking way they saw the same thing I saw.
Remember this one?
Andrew Harris?
He was a security guard, and he felt threatened because he was threatened.
Him and his mother were threatened verbally.
And he shot him and shot one of the legs and shot one in the stomach and killed that guy.
But he said he didn't mean to kill him.
Okay, so fine.
Seven cases.
Got off.
He was a felon, too.
He had a gun.
Whatever.
That's only seven.
Mark Ruffalo, we were just talking about him on Compound Censored.
I think he might be the dumbest person in Hollywood, which is saying a lot.
That's like being the stupidest kid in the special class.
But what has he got to say?
2-4?
Mark wants to live in a country where jurors are devalued and child rapists are heroes.
We come together to mourn the lives lost to the same racist system that devalues black lives and devalued the lives of Anthony and Jojo.
Fucking Jojo.
That is one of the craziest parts of this whole epoch that they have named him Jojo.
And why is it two capital J's?
What is this cute name?
I like how Anthony responded to that with John John.
Next, Jojo.
John John.
TT.
It's even stupider than that, though.
Mark Ruffalo has capital J's.
So it's even dumber than that joke.
Jojo.
You know who Mark Ruffalo is?
Look him up.
Remember with Olivia Wilde and Michael Moore and they're singing Let's Give Peace a Chance or something?
His brain, if you want to know, like he's a very handsome chap.
He's got these cute little puppy dog eyes.
Gorgeous little man.
So you think, look at this.
Olivia Wilde!
We're decent people!
We're decent people!
We're a multicultural country!
We all come from someplace else!
We all come from someplace else!
We are all colors!
He waits for it.
We are all colors!
He's thinking, thinking, thinking.
I got nothing.
We are all colors!
We are America!
We are!
We are America!
The green America!
Yeah, we're America, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, come down here.
It's pretty cool.
Are you taking notes?
Just film it.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Michael Moore has a candle, and the way you have a candle that doesn't get blown out is you put it in a cup.
Unless, of course, it's an IKEA electric candle where you can just turn it on, and you don't need the cup.
He's got a cup protecting the electric candle from the wind.
He's got a maraca.
Yeah.
We hate Nazis.
We hate the KKK?
What are you talking about?
Loki shouldn't have betrayed Thor.
What, KKK?
New Yorkers have had enough of the KKK.
So they took to the streets to say, we don't like you anymore, KKK.
To which the KKK said, who's Mark Ruffalo?
You gotta remind them.
Say her name.
Have her hair.
Help her.
It's head of higher, Mark.
If you're gonna say her name, learn how to pronounce it.
Use your fame for good.
This is embarrassing.
I feel so juvenile.
There are good people.
We're good people out here.
We're Americans.
We hate Nazis.
I mean, I'm sorry to keep bringing up handicapped, but if someone was special, that's what they'd say.
I'm special.
I'm number one.
I don't like bad guys.
I'm a good guy.
I don't like Nazis.
I don't like the KKK.
You go, okay.
I'm sure.
Good stuff.
See if you can look up Halfwits.
Martin Short.
He does this character that's very slow, hence being on the show Half Wits.
And it's Mark Ruffalo.
If you want to see what he looks like on the inside, you need only to look at this character.
Okay, jump forward.
Lawyer in.
There he is, Lawrence.
I'm having some degree of difficulty getting through high school.
I see.
Well, good to have you through it.
I'm sure you will, Lawrence.
Because I have certain goals in life I feel compelled to complete.
Very, very good.
One of which is becoming a circuit court judge.
Good.
Good to have ambition.
And the second is perhaps playing professional hockey.
Good to have you here, Lawrence, and good luck to you tonight.
Righto, Alex then.
Now it's time to play halfwits.
Righto, Alex then.
You know his secret to that character?
He blacked out the bottoms of his teeth to make his teeth shorter.
Brilliant.
So Tucker Carlson was smart enough.
Fox Nation is something I highly recommend you subscribe to.
I got it.
And I watched the January 6th stuff.
They did a really good job.
But then just when you're getting bored of subscribing, he comes out with this.
He's been following Kyle around for months.
So they have a 30 for 30 ready, and they couldn't put it out until they had the verdict.
So now, like today, we have all of this footage building up to the trial.
I mean, it's like better than a fictional movie.
It's better than Ghostbusters.
You know another good thing about that movie?
It gets rocking right out of the gate.
Like within, at the very beginning, you see demons coming out of the mountain.
We see ghosts within the first 10 minutes.
Unlike Lake Placid, where we walked out because it was an hour in and we still hadn't seen the monster alligator.
We went over to the counter and we go, where the fuck's the monster?
2-6.
Okay.
I'm not impressed, by the way, with you, Ryan.
I was looking up the actual thing here.
What?
It was the right to self-defense on trial.
It wasn't Kyle Brittenhouse on trial in Wisconsin.
It was the right to self-defense on trial.
And if I was convicted, no one would be able, no one would ever be privileged to defend their life against attackers.
It wasn't Kyle Bridenhaus.
That's the best grammar there.
2-7, he says he supports BLM.
I'll give him this.
Because in the narrative, he's the face of white supremacy.
So you might as well just say, I support BLM.
In this instance, I get the motive.
I wouldn't do it, but I get it.
This case has nothing to do with race.
It never had anything to do with race.
It had to do with the right to self-defense.
I'm not a racist person.
I support the BLM movement.
I support peacefully demonstrating.
And I believe there needs to be change.
I believe there's a lot of prosecutorial misconduct, not just in my case, but in other cases.
And it's just amazing to see how much a prosecutor can take advantage of somebody.
So that's it for Rittenhouse.
So, you know, I started out that segment saying that I think there's some truth in the fact that a black person wouldn't have gotten away with that because blacks rarely get away with self-defense.
And Ryan disagrees with me.
Yeah, like this Philly woman here.
Killed a boyfriend, somebody who threatened to put her in the grave.
Okay, fine.
That's eight.
The Toya Ramsior.
Give me one more.
I bet you can't find one more.
What about Andre Roy?
Claim self-defense got off.
All right, fine.
He was in a gallery stabbing people.
Okay, fine.
You have nine.
Killed a 60-year-old.
Fine.
I defy you that you won't even make it to 10.
Try to find one more black person that got away with self-defense.
If Kenneth Ray Smith counts, then we have 10.
The 20-minute deliberation.
10.
First-degree murder, first-degree manslaughter ruling.
He's acquitted.
Okay, that's nothing.
Try to go past 10.
I don't think you could.
I literally could because they almost always end up in jail.
My only problem with going to 11, these go to 11, is pronouncing this man's name, which is like a weird name, Nehemarcus Kanushkaminigan.
Neiman Marcus?
That's the guy that the store is named after him?
Nehemiah Martin.
Remember him?
Okay.
What's that, 11?
Big deal.
Try to name one more.
Simone's Biles' brother, acquitted of murder charges.
Oh, the gymnast.
Yes.
Okay, that's only 12, though.
Remember the baby?
The rapper?
He was connected to a deadly shooting, and his charges were dropped.
Okay, 12.
Big deal.
It's not that many.
Did you say 13?
I don't think you could make it to 13.
Okay, what about the fatal Q-train push?
You pushed the guy into the fucking tracks.
Found not guilty of murder or manslaughter.
Okay, fine.
12.
So there's 12 cases.
I don't think there's any more than that.
It doesn't happen.
There was an attempted murder shooting at the Walmart.
He said he was acting in self-defense.
He fired 16 shots.
It was pretty insane.
What are we at?
What's that?
13?
I'm not sure.
Unlucky 13.
Big deal.
It almost never happens, and it's really hard to find instances of blacks getting away with self-defense.
Well, this guy, this stand your ground case.
He held a gun to a dude.
Fucking...
Okay, for shot.
You won't find any more.
That's it.
What about this guy?
Shooting at the triangle, Martin.
All right, so we have 15 cases, but for the most part, it's very difficult to find blacks who get away with self-defense.
It's primarily a white thing.
This guy was black, too.
Oh, wait.
He's not black, but he's not white.
He looks like you.
Let's move on.
That's your cousin.
I won't speak on that.
So I'm not going...
That's only 15.
I doubt you could make it to 20.
I don't think I can.
I don't think you can.
Best of luck to you.
Oh, defendant Dayton double shooting found not guilty on self-defense.
What's his name?
Let's see.
Michael Jenkins Mikhail Jenkins.
Mikhail?
What's the matter with Michael?
A lot.
I can't remember what we're at now.
16?
It's irrelevant.
I mean, the point's disproven.
No, it's not.
It's very rare.
I don't think you'll be able to find that many.
A man acquitted of killing Utah neighbor because he acted in self-defense.
I don't know how they found that out.
Okay.
18, I guess.
What do you mean, you guess?
I need that.
What about this woman?
She's black as hell.
She was acquitted.
Stabbed a dude in self-defense, quote unquote.
I feel like that's 18.
Maybe.
It's still very rare, though.
I don't think that's rare.
I mean, like, they're 14% of the...
Anyway, this Brooklyn man shot a Cuomo 8 in 2015, and it turns out he was acquitted.
Cuomo 8 was probably a racist.
It's probably good that he died.
That doesn't mean he's a good person.
He's probably in the KKK.
For the record, I hate the KKK.
Oh, me too.
Actually, I double hate them.
I don't want them in New York City anymore.
Where's their headquarters?
Is it by Grand Central?
I think it's overlooking Central Park.
They own a penthouse suite where they have big Klan rallies all over Central Park.
They'll go galloping around Central Park with their hoods on.
It's terrible.
Those New Yorkers have had enough of it.
It's that white building with the pointy top.
Yeah, they have their own Skyrise.
Big, huge KKK logo on the front.
Fuck you.
They call this kid a teen.
There was this kid.
He was acquitted from Akron.
Akrantine, clear.
How come you don't know their names?
I call him Akronteen, but his name is Naquan Waray.
He's 17.
Hey, that's the same age that Rittenhouse was.
He's not a teen.
He's a man.
Remember?
Was that the one that was the same day?
No, no, that's last year.
Yeah.
You've got to go back a whole year to find them now.
Now you're really desperate.
You didn't have a choice.
It was a do or die.
Okay, name one more.
I don't think you can.
Name one more black person getting away with self-defense.
I defy you.
I could not name him, but there's Marcus Weldon.
So I do want to name him, in fact.
Marcus Weldon.
Yep.
Where was that now?
The pacing is going kind of slow here.
Well, those are all the ones that I had links for, but there's Tobias Davis, there's Rodney West, there's Tyshawn Plowden, and Gabriel Chavez.
We know that's not a white name, don't we, frankly?
Is that it?
Yep.
There's only four that don't have links?
I found links for a bunch of them that didn't have links.
Okay.
So you, but you listed a bunch of names there, and you had four.
Are you going to ruin this fucking bit, and am I going to blow a hole in your motherfucking head?
Am I going to have to break the fourth wall with a bullet?
I went through all of my links that I had, and then went through all of the names, and only three of them I didn't have links for, where that just says also, and it's just names.
So I went and did the extra work and found the name.
I found the links.
There's 20 names with links.
We just ruined the bit.
There's 20 names with links, and then there's a list of another 15 names.
There's a couple of doubles.
What you're supposed to do at the end.
This one has doubles.
What about the list of names right in your face?
They don't have links because we don't have the time to show every single link.
So I gave you 20 links, and then I gave you a whole bunch of names.
You gave me 20.
And you listed four names.
You gave me four.
Yes, go down.
Yeah, yeah, I got all those.
I found links for those.
Those ones at the bottom.
Yeah, I found links for all those.
I don't want links for those.
Well, I did.
Because you gave me doubles of this one, The Simpkins.
You gave me, instead of the, look at this.
Dolores White and Trey Adams, same link.
Oops.
Big fucking deal.
You're supposed to end with a big pile of names.
So that's four.
Like, I spell it out for you.
Couldn't be simpler this bit.
It's got all those links.
Fuck the repeats.
Don't worry about it.
And then it ends with bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
You list like 15.
Instead, you list four.
Does that sound like it has a lot of impact to go one, two, three, four at the end to make your point?
Does that really get out of the park?
Since there were duplicates, we didn't make it to 20.
I linked some of these and then I read the rest of them.
Four.
It should end with one, two, three, four, five.
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
That's called having an impact.
Deduct four.
So I gave you this thing and you ruined it.
You didn't tell me just read the names out.
It's pretty clear.
I say, I don't think you can name anymore.
I remember the last one.
Okay.
So I remember that last name.
Because you fudged up and you doubled.
There's four links gone.
We didn't make it to 20.
That doesn't matter.
Oh, it does.
Because then we can't get to 20.
It doesn't matter to 20.
It's just an amount.
It could be 16.
That's fine.
20 blacks getting away with the same.
Link, link, link, link, link, link, link.
20 blacks getting away with self-defense.
20 blacks getting away with self-defense?
Yeah, that's not the title of this.
That's the title of your email, so you know what email I mean.
We didn't make a card.
You're counting them?
Yeah.
And you're telling me what the count's at?
Yes.
And you missed four links, so to get to 20, I linked four.
You don't need to get to 20.
Why do you need to get to 20?
How about this?
Answer this.
Why do you need to get to 20?
Because it says 20 black figures with me.
What says that?
The email.
No one's saying the email.
But you're counting.
The email is meant to be invisible.
That means you're counting it.
You're counting it.
It doesn't matter what number I get to.
16 is fine.
Because if you list.
Why does it have to be 20?
Because if you list 20 and I don't make it to 20, that's not enough.
You put double links in here.
I can tell by the time in the show when the bid is getting old.
I can tell when it's time to wrap it up.
What I gave you was a bunch of tools.
You changed the tools.
I added to the tools.
Don't add to the tools.
I fucking added to the tools.
Don't add to the tools.
It doesn't need to get to me.
I looked them up.
I looked them up.
I looked up these guys.
Terrible bids.
I looked up these guys.
Don't look shit up.
You're doing a fucking show.
Beyond.
Yeah.
No, less.
Not above and beyond.
Less.
More.
No.
Don't do more.
Don't do more.
You know, in a perfect world, I would just be able to say, hey, man, when we do the show, dig up a bunch of blacks that got away with self-defense, and then you could handle it.
But I thought, no, he can't handle that.
No, I'm just doing the work.
You would have no.
No, you would have no graphical.
You would have nothing.
Anytime you went to a link or a video, I'd have to stop doing that and doing that.
It is too much.
You couldn't do that.
The best producer couldn't do that.
Somebody finding research and going through a flow of links and videos.
No, that's not how that goes.
All right, whatever.
I'll give you that.
Thank you.
Still wrecked a bit.
I'm sorry.
I didn't think I wrecked the bit.
You did wreck the bit.
You're incapable of admitting when you do something wrong.
I did something different that you didn't redirect to.
You know what's funny about you?
You'll never know if you were right or wrong because you always argue with me and your wife.
I think you're wrong.
I think you had a specific idea in mind that you didn't voice to me.
You didn't communicate to me.
You didn't say, at the end, just read these names off real quick.
I would have done that.
Everyone just saw the email.
It couldn't be more obvious that at the end, you're going to be expected to read off the names because there's no fucking link.
And so reading the names off fast is what I did.
I listed about six of them.
And if you take four away from that list, it adds up to the amount of links that I had to supply.
I'd rather you repeated them, say like, here's another thing.
That's that Dolores chick again.
And so we still have the list at the end.
Four is no way to end the bit.
Anyway, now you're making it worse by dragging this out.
You fucked up.
The end.
Let's go to the mailbag.
I recently watched the Tony Bourdain documentary, Roadrunner.
I just finished reading Kitchen Confidential, so I thought it was appropriate to top it off with the documentary.
Why are you telling us this, sir?
In a letter.
Do you think I give a fuck what you read?
I saw a movie recently, I thought I should watch the movie because I just read a book.
That's nice, stranger.
Thanks for the heads up.
I've avoiding it since its release because I thought it might soil my memory of they guy.
Sir, you're a fucking loser.
I'm not reading the rest of your retarded letter, you fucking boring cunt.
Here's how you write a letter to a show that's going to be read out loud.
You go right to the chase.
Hey, did you see the new Anthony Bourdain dog?
He fucked a pig in it.
Gotcha.
Should I get the fuck out of Germany?
Yes.
You know what they call a beautiful woman in Germany?
A tourist.
I'm 29 and currently living in Germany doing a painting and decorating apprenticeship.
What the fuck is that?
What the fuck is that?
Are you painting homes like someone who paints a house?
Or are you doing like art?
And if you're doing art, what's decorating?
What the fuck is a painting and decorating apprenticeship?
Thanks for telling me to sort my life out and get a trade.
Interior design?
Is that what you're taking?
I would finish it in August.
China virus restrictions are becoming ever more coercive and nasty here with threats of fines if you don't get vaccinated.
I'm not vaccinated.
I don't particularly want to.
And right now I have to test every day, blah, blah, blah.
Which means I have to do extra time to make up.
I have to get a test to take the bus or train or anything.
It's as if we're being punished.
Yeah.
You can see why fascism took off in Germany.
I'm originally from England and I'm now stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Do I stay here, take Z vaccine and eat Z bugs?
Or do I quit the apprenticeship, prepare like a Jew in 1933 to get the fuck out of here and back to my family before it's too late?
It shows me helping me through some difficult times.
So big thank you.
No, you got to finish what you started, dude.
I don't know what the fuck a decorating apprenticeship is, but if it's over in August, you can't stick it out.
The rules suck, yes.
The rules suck here.
We've got a bunch of stupid rules, too.
This is from Ian about Lead Hills.
Ooh, that's one of my favorite memories is going to Lead Hills as a kid.
All right, my man, I know you're a WeJFA garbles.
So how the fuck do you know about We Lead House?
Do you know they're all mad shaggers there, wife swapping at the We Pub, which is called the Hopeton, once a month?
I'll work pouring concrete way three Lead Hills?
Oh, way three Lead Hills Boys 20 years ago.
Man was pumping Wee Gene the Dumpy Barmaid.
Look up Gavin McInnes Gran's birthday.
I was just thinking about this because my mother-in-law is Indian and she said there's no such thing as white culture.
And I thought, if anyone could go to the Hopedon in Lead Hills, they'd be overwhelmed with white culture.
Lead Hills was a mining town.
Its hills had lead.
My gay uncle, God rest his soul, was obsessed with mines and rocks and miners and the suffering they went through.
You talk about bitching about slavery.
You may want to check in on the Industrial Revolution and the lives of the miners.
They'd have these big thick cable-knit sweaters and they'd get home.
They'd be drenched like you were swimming.
And they would put the sweaters on these steel things in front of the fireplace to dry overnight.
And then they get up at like five in the morning and put them on.
They were still wet.
Imagine you wake up, it's dark outside, it's raining, and you go over, you're fucking freezing because the coal fire went out over the course of the night.
And then you put on a wet sweater.
What's worse than a wet sweater?
Maybe wet boots.
There it is.
So go farther.
You'll have to jump a bit.
Because I filmed myself going there.
Skip all that shit.
I think it's towards the end.
But that's Lead Hills.
So there's no lead anymore.
There's no mine.
So it's a dead town.
Everyone's on welfare.
The pub is fucking great.
But it's a very poor town.
It's weird because you'd think, like, wait, stop.
Stop, stop.
You'd think that they just leave the town.
There's no jobs at all.
Nope.
They've got the pub.
They've got the post office.
They've got one school, I think.
They've got the shittiest golf course you've ever played on in your life.
But this is the Hopedon.
The Hopedon I love because there's a club in the front, club, meaning like a nice pub where you have a little cucumber sandwich and maybe a gin and tonic and a wine.
And it's very clean and brightly lit with windows everywhere.
And then at the back of that, there's the pub.
And the women go to the club and the men go to the pub.
Although the lines are blurred now.
But occasionally someone will come back and sneak a pint of the pub and he's at the club with his wife.
So he'll have a cardigan on and a little Fred Perry done up all the way.
And then everyone ribs him and breaks his balls for being a pussy and having a GNT with his wife.
And then he sneaks back into the club.
But this is the Hopedon.
No children under the age of 15.
15 year olds are welcome.
That's the entire bar.
That's my dead uncle.
Strachan.
See that old guy on the left?
God, look at the shit quality of that film.
It was a Sony handy cam.
An iPhone is way better.
Just busting out the bagpipes in the pub.
Accordions, flutes.
Everyone stops talking.
I was staring at that guy because he was so phenomenally ugly.
And he caught me stiffing.
This is the Scottish national anthem, Flower Scotland.
But yeah, those old dudes in the corner, they're there every day.
One time a woman went up to go to the bathroom.
She left her purse on the table.
They went in her purse and invaded her makeup.
When she came out, they had like lipstick on, eyeshadow, rouge.
This guy's an entire line off.
And then you see our buddy try to get him back on track.
There we go, he's back on track.
And sent him homeward to think again.
That was fun.
Hey, homies, I just got the updated app, and it is constantly buffering on mobile data, whereas the previous version did not.
Okay, well, that was CC'd to the support.
What we did was, I told you this already, we have a beta that we're sending out.
His name's Ryan.
And that elite group will get to test the bugs, and then once they come back, and obviously there's bugs, we'll update the app.
I'm sorry this is taking so long.
For the record, the tech guy is Indian as a Native American, not the good tech guy.
Remember that?
He was up here working on stuff, and the security guy comes in, and I go, trust me, dude, Puerto Rican, Japanese, and Indians, you want to work with white people.
These guys are terrible.
And he goes, I'm actually Native American.
What percentage?
Well, I wish it was more, but 4%.
What?
I don't even know how you get to 4.
It's 50.
It's 25.
It's 12.5.
It's 6.25.
4?
Yes.
He did get to 4 at some point.
But Mr. Rosenbaum was about 5-4.
And he said the N-word.
Was that Kyle?
I couldn't see you because you were behind the camera.
Yeah.
It was.
Yeah, he does have a sort of like, moo, to every sentence.
And then he'll like squint and then like shake his head no.
He was an idiot.
Yeah.
Just a nice guy.
Excellent Kyle tribute.
One minute, 40 seconds.
Well, this is the perfect show for it.
This is a good show for that show.
It is.
Did you see Kyle, by the way, the other day?
Me?
Yeah.
I don't believe I did.
Well, you were watching the trial.
How could you watch a trial and not see Kyle?
He was on the television every second of the trial.
If you watched a trial, then you saw Kyle.
So don't sit here and deny that you see Kyle.
Oh, what you're saying is seeing me, not Sieg Heiling.
Yeah.
I now get it.
Okay, let's check this out.
Looks like Kevin Smith.
I want to see the best picture.
I don't get that one.
Spicy mukbang.
Isn't it weird how many sex offenders there are?
Like the jumping kickman was a sex offender.
The guy who drove through the parade was a sex offender.
That guy beat women, including his mother and grandmother.
More common than you think.
Wow.
That was a lot of fun.
Oh, speaking of court, my friend, I have to take you to Impression Court.
Okay.
In the case of me doing a bad Joe Exotic Impression that sounds like Michael Caine, I'd like to refer you to evidence piece number one of how weird Joe Exotic Talks.
If you like pizza, pasta, or a chicken alfreo, I can promise you, Zitters is the place you want to stop.
They spelt pizzeria wrong, by the way.
My wife said, no, that's how you spell it.
I was like, let's look at pizzeria.
She's like, all right, they spelt it wrong too.
Wait a minute.
Dude, are you for the prosecution or the defense?
I'm defending that I sound just like Joe Exotic.
Just lot.
That's lot is East London.
I don't hear Michael Kane when he's talking.
That's how he talks.
It's right in front of the Greater Windowed Exotic Animal Park, you know?
Exotic Animal Park?
Don't have to enter the zoo.
Heff?
To sit down and have some of the world's famous pizza?
Pizza?
A cold beer, something else to drink, and sit down in an atmosphere next to tigers that you have never experienced.
Next to tigers that you've never experienced.
Anywhere in the world.
Say the word L-I-K-E.
Loch.
See, you were saying Loik.
You heard me right.
You can sit down on the patio right next to Real Life Tigers.
Tiger's best homemade pizza that I make from scratch.
And that's a Joe Exotic Promise.
So I'd like to say that my Joe Exotic is actually the best.
And if you look at some of the other scrubs doing impressions, they're not so good.
So today I'd like to list that I am the best Joe Exotic impression ever.
This one is terrible.
Two, once the coronavirus ends.
I'll take...
Here we go.
Ew.
But I feel like if I was going to do something, I mean, it doesn't matter.
You just engage.
As long as you keep the camera rolling.
That's what's important.
What are they laughing at?
I don't know these simple things.
I would like to bring to the stand Ryan Rivera.
Hello?
Ryan Rivera, did you not say, and I quote, yes, I do sound like Michael Caine.
End of quote.
Okay, I did.
Yeah, I rest my case.
No, no, no.
I do confer to the...
Confer?
You mean concur?
No, yeah.
Do you conifer?
I do deciduous.
Okay, that.
My deciduous is that you're wrong.
There was one point where I did sound like Michael Caine.
The rest of it was just fine.
Okay.
Ridiculous court case.
I think we're declaring a mistrial.
I think it would be unfair if I didn't mark your evidence here.
It's out right now.
New season?
You're in jail.
Yeah, that's a new season.
There's footage of me talking to people outside of the jail.
He talks like that.
Now you're Scottish?
And there's fucking Carol Beskins.
She's running around, and there's a team of targets.
Why do you keep drifting into Michael Cain?
I like his movies.
It does sound like Michael Caine.
It does sound like Michael Caine.
Anyway, what a waste of time to make that decision, Court, when you're the guy who said it.
Hey, G and dipshit sprinkles.
No, hey, G and dipshit.
Comma.
Sprinkles?
Question mark?
We will never know until the G-Dog says Uhuru.
And we want to see if this person is hilarious.
Did you skip way down?
No?
Okay.
Right below, excellent, Kyle Tribute.
Oh, have you guys seen Onward?
Oh, no, that could be fun.
Oh, or you know what might be fun, actually?
Is if we just got fucked up and played hide and seek.
Yeah.
Maybe not tonight.
Hide and seek drinking game.
I don't think...
Yeah, I don't know.
Not tonight.
I feel like Onward dropped right when COVID hit.
So just like hiding under the couch, like all the lights turned off, like, oh, nobody find me!
Nobody find me!
Are you still talking about the hide and seek thing?
Oh no, we would be drunk for it.
We'd be like, fucked up.
No, I fully understand.
I just don't think it's like...
It's not the vibe tonight.
Me and my ex used to play this all the time.
She hated it.
Just do it.
It's like an indoor manhood on movies.
All the time.
We don't want to play it.
Guys, it's a joke.
What's it a joke?
What's the joke?
I just want to drink alcohol and play it hide and seek in the house.
Where's the joke in there?
That's what I really want to do.
It's a joke.
Couple shots.
No!
We're watching the movie!
Don't find me!
I don't think you know what a joke is.
I do know what a joke is.
No, I know what a joke is.
Hide.
What?
What?
Hide.
Oh my god.
Holy fuck.
Find a spot.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Okay, I'm about spot.
Good.
Ten.
Nine.
Stay with me.
Yeah, I think that's pretty sprinkly.
Yeah, that guy's got the sprinkles.
Hello, it's Michael Cain.
No, it's not.
By the way, there's a Ryan Rivera character in the new Ghostbusters.
What do you mean by that?
It's you.
An ethnically ambiguous, funny gentleman with a heart of gold.
Yeah, a retarded emergency.
A brain of music.
Heart of gold, brain of tungsten.
Here's a very important letter.
I went to a fight this weekend, by the way.
Guy from our gym in Jersey, an hour and a half away.
And once again, I fell asleep.
This was at the match.
We had front row seats because we know the guy.
His dad got us maybe two rows back.
And I get so excited for these things.
I grabbed a bottle of fireball for the trip.
We've got beers, nose beers, all kinds of fun stuff.
Fuggin asleep on my chair.
I caught the fight, but not all of it.
Our guy won, right?
Yes.
Our guy won.
And then we came back here and watched the Porter Crawford fight.
And it was painfully obvious that Crawford was just a cat playing with a mouse before he ate it.
He was smiling.
And I heard Porter retired after this fight because he got retarded.
He got retarded.
He got knocked.
He got retarded.
Yeah.
That's my joke.
When he would fall down, Porter, he would get so mad, he'd bang on the mat like a baby and then get up again.
But yeah, you could, and I think Crawford was talking.
He was like, yeah, man, he's from Indiana or something.
He's like a total hick.
He's like, we probably got to wrap this up at some point, man.
I got to go.
Anyway, that was fun.
Hey, Fags, if Rogan put his pinky in his mouth, wouldn't he be Dr. Evil?
Yeah, you got to watch it with a coat that doesn't fit snug when you sit down on a couch because it can ride up and it makes you look bad.
Sup, real ass niggas.
New intro song and start the clip at 42.
Use this as a bioweapon for the Middle East.
And this is City Girls Act Up, Twerk with NAS, Arizona.
Yay!
What have we done to our girls?
They're cheering on her butt cheeks.
This is too much indecency.
Isn't it weird how these all these woke feminists, their favorite music is about fucking bitches and slapping them around and I don't take shit from no hoes.
Like they're so triggered, yet their music is way more offensive than punk rock.
Which makes me think they don't really mean it.
Like if they're jamming out to dudes talking about fucking hoes, then they like it.
So what they're really saying when they yell at you is slap me around.
I'm a stupid bitch.
Imagine the cheering stop when she went up and they were just like, ah, cool.
Get off the stage.
Hey, Gavin, my Canadian brother, I love the idea of hoser news.
I did that at Rebel.
If you can do us Canadians a big favor and make the Canadian classic hoser movie Fubar part of it or even a special movie.
Yeah, we might do that.
I mean, I've covered Fubar quite extensively.
Put them in vice, partied with them a bunch.
You know what's funny about those two guys?
They're drama club kids.
They're like improv guys.
They're not hosers.
I didn't like the sequel to this.
I couldn't fucking babysit my fucking giant knuckle.
You know, just fucking sit there and watch it and hope it doesn't fucking roll.
You can die.
Do you understand?
You can die.
I like where he gets chemo for his ball cancer and it makes him go bald, except his mustache.
His mustache stays out.
What's up there?
Oh, nothing.
Okay.
Gay straight clubs in public schools.
To the editor of Seattle Post, reading, writing, or homosexuality.
Suppressing to know that school districts think learning about homosexuality is a priority.
Brackets, students forge a gay straight bond.
Kevin Jennings, director of the Gay Lesbian Strait Education Network, created the Gay Straight Alliance clubs and has run a nationwide campaign to get them into every school.
Yeah, you know what?
This is, dude, you just showed her phone number.
Are you the smartest guy in the world?
It's blurred.
Yeah, homophobia is not a thing in school.
Little kids are not getting bullied for being gay.
It's cool to be gay, as we learned in the sequel to 21 Jump Street, where they go undercover as narcs, and the coolest guy in school is gay and drives a Prius because the old ways of school are not cool anymore.
It's not cool to have a muscle car and call people a fag.
It's cool to be a fag.
So there's no reason there for you to be indoctrinating kids.
So what does that leave?
You want to fuck them.
That's what I'm getting from this.
All of this like drag queen story hour and let's make kids okay with gays.
Gay is a type of sex that you have where you put it in the butt and in the mouth.
Why do kids need to get involved in that?
We want them to know it's okay to have kink.
No, it's not.
It's not okay for them to have anything remotely sexual in their life.
Oh, this is, Linda's got a bunch here.
So I read that out of sequence.
Here's the first one.
Why do people send me like five emails in a row?
Homopocrisy.
School boards have provided cover to homosexuals for years in a way.
And then its editor of controversial book, One Teenager and 10, defends pedophilia on KIRO radio.
So that's the first one.
And then the second one, she goes, I found this book in several kindergarten classrooms in Seattle, public schools.
The Seattle School Jury has placed this book, Making Love Visible, into elementary school libraries.
Kevin Jennings and G-L-S-E-N pushed to have it placed in public schools.
You see?
No, you're on the wrong one there, dude.
This is 1156 now.
I found this book in several kindergarten classrooms.
Yes.
And then the next one up, I'm going from the bottom up, is what Yebi Started with.
And then here's a quote from the homosexual advocacy Bible.
I first became sexually active with my playmates.
We were human beings who had no social inhibition.
We were willing to explore our sexuality to its fullest extent.
Yeah.
See what I mean?
Why are you so into people exploring their sexuality when they're kids?
I managed to avoid contracting venereal disease through all my toddler and preteen years.
From early childhood, my sex life continued fervently for years without disruption.
I managed to avoid venereal disease throughout my toddler years.
All right, I'm going to puke.
I had a bad feeling about that from day one.
Let's jump to the final video.
I forgot what this is.
You can't touch me?
Is this an empty hammer thing?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So this is funny.
So they're in Portland.
They're mad about the Rittenhouse verdict.
They're screaming at the cops, our house.
The police station is their house, which means you work for us.
This is our property.
You're my employee.
And I want to decide how it goes.
And guess what would happen if that was literally true?
Fascism, the first thing they do is come to our houses and arrest us and re-educate us.
You want to see fascism?
Give Antifa the keys to the city and see how your city fares.
It's our house.
Look at the guy leaning up there.
Maybe he took a Xanax to calm down and he overdid it.
Fuck you, coward!
Fuck you, coward?
Oh shit!
Oh shit!
What's going on, Deke?
You can't touch me.
I'm in a wheelchair.
I'm a medic.
Now I can push you over, actually.
The reaction is always the same, too.
It's this shocking indignance.
What the hell?
You just pushed me off my chair.
Yeah.
You picked a fight with the police.
Who picks a fight and then is mortified when it doesn't go their way?
That's really what would happen if any of these people got the power they so crave.
They would be mortified by reality.
That's really what we're up against here.
People who have been punched in the face before and people who have never been punched in the face.
And people who have never been punched in the face are annoying.
I don't like them.
They're lippy and arrogant and they want to dominate people.
We've always said politics is people who want to be left alone and people who won't leave them the fuck alone.
And we're really having some trouble with the latter group here.
They're getting on my nerves.
And I think I'm going to have to go take care of them.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
Many, many, many, many men.
If it wasn't for rain, Joe wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain.
Death gotta be easy, cause life is hard.
Niggas physically in the most bitch.
For my niggas on the block, put some treatment to guard.
Put the niggas on lock, doing life behind bars.
I don't see who comes with me, cause I see things but these factors will give my black ass a hundred years.
I'm like Paul being good, fellas.
You can call me the dog.
Like Malcolm, my nigga.
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