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May 24, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:45:26

S03E111 - MIAMI HAS AN IQ PROBLEM

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	From New York That was the Linda Lindas and racist sexist boy who rebuild what you destroy.
	There is a spat of anti-Asian violence going on because there's a spat of violence going on because you dummies said defund the police and you let the radical left take over the country and turned it into a fucking disgusting Portland shithole.
	That's why Asians are being attacked because everyone's being attacked and they tend to be easy prey.
	They tend not to call the cops.
	They tend to carry cash.
	But the people doing it are black.
	And this is what's going on this week, I'm noticing, is where hate crimes are up, Jews are getting attacked, Asians are getting attacked, and the entire country, or I should say half the country, is going, please be MAGA, please be MAGA, please be, oh, they're black.
	Fuck.
	And what I think a lot of Asians are doing is just going, no, they're not.
	That's what we did with the trans thing.
	It was all black people killing trans.
	And they went, no, it's not.
	It's Trump.
	Trump's rhetoric encouraged people to kill trans.
	Really?
	That's not what happened at all.
	But check out the beginning of this.
	No, what are you doing?
	Oh, yeah, that was the guy who beat the shit out of a Jew in New York.
	No charges.
	Muslim managers charged over the hate crime of assault of a Jewish victim given a hero's celebration.
	See, he said he would do it again.
	His parents must be so proud.
	But look at this chick.
	Okay, agreed.
	Early in the pandemic, a boy in my class came up to me and said that his dad told him to stay away from Chinese people.
	After I told him that I was Chinese, he backed away from me.
	Familiar and I wrote a song about her experience, and now I'm going to play it for you.
	Asians getting attacked, getting stabbed, getting the shit kicked out of them.
	And this group has decided to focus on some dumb kid who...
	That sounds like a Chinese name, some dumb kid.
	Literally, yeah, that's her name.
	Yeah.
	And make it about that.
	Because, so he's a racist, sexist boy.
	I mean, I know this isn't a very important band.
	It's not like they're topping the charts and defining the narrative, but they are a subject of the narrative.
	They result from it.
	And their takeaway is that the problem with hate in America is little white boys because they're racist and they're sexist boys.
	No, it's black men, I'm afraid.
	Generally, that's who's responsible, disproportionately responsible for the crime, Serge.
	And you didn't know this until you said defund the police because you thought the police were mean.
	Now, Ryan's still going through that massive list of 32 people, black people killed by cops.
	It's 32, right?
	There's a lot.
	Where'd you get 32 from?
	I thought you said that.
	It could be.
	It could be.
	So you're almost done.
	What percentage, how many did you read and go, oh shit, that's fucked up?
	Yeah, there's two.
	And only one of them, the cop didn't get like forever and ever in jail.
	A long sentence, you can just say.
	Right.
	And why are you not showing yourself?
	My color profile is all messed up.
	What?
	Are you getting your colors right?
	Now it's good.
	Oh.
	I didn't know the Hulk was such a pussy.
	And it's disappointing that Asians are not getting this.
	I think it's maybe it's a lack of bravery, a lack of balls.
	Because the safest thing to do is to attack Christians.
	And when I say whites, too, I'm not talking about liberal whites.
	There's a specific type of white person that is the enemy of the left, and that is the Covington Catholic school kid, young white male boys.
	And what I've noticed a lot of young white male boys do to try to absolve themselves or kill the stereotype I'm turning into Sarah Silverman is just be cucks and rail against hate and proud boys and me.
	Like on the plane, I just got back from Miami a few hours ago.
	On the plane this morning, we're all de-planing and this white guy goes to the row behind him, to a black guy, hey, is this your bag?
	Let me get this down.
	He doesn't know him.
	Why did out of all there's like 15 people in your immediate vicinity, you singled out the black guy and offered to get his bag down.
	And it made me sick because of the cuck thing, but it also, it was embarrassing for the black dude.
	Like, is he retarded?
	You're helping him?
	Is he handicapped?
	It's the bigotry of low expectations where you treat them as pets.
	So you're like, hey, sweet little abandoned doggy.
	Do you want me to get your bag for you, you injured bird?
	And he didn't, he wasn't like, yeah, that's cool.
	Thanks, man.
	He was just, he was kind of, I would say embarrassed.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	He was kind of looking at the ground like, no, that's not mine.
	Yeah.
	Because it was an embarrassing thing to do.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	I guess, does that bother you?
	Yeah.
	Out of all the people, if it's an old lady, I get it.
	Old black lady, sure.
	But the guy looked like he was a fucking star athlete.
	He looked like a 20-year-old athlete was there with his girlfriend and this white dude.
	And that's the kind of white dude who wants to fuck with me, eggs my house, and has Cuomo stickers on his car.
	He believes the hate.
	It's like this black cop I met where I go, oh dude, we should get a beer soon.
	I'm a big cop guy.
	And he goes, I don't like cops and I don't like Beer.
	No, I don't drink beer and I don't like cops.
	And he's a cop.
	And he's a cop.
	He's a black cop.
	And what happened was he's been brainwashed by the fucking bullshit.
	Damn!
	So, this brings me to my story.
	So I'm in Florida.
	I'm in friendly territory.
	I was there for a wedding.
	There was also a car show in Jupiter that was fucking amazing.
	The cars, those Mopars, I got to get a Mopar, right?
	I mean, you just get to an age where you need one.
	I could get an old Merc or an old BMW or an old Jaguar, too.
	But Jesus, look at these works of art made by men.
	The men that you hate so much.
	Because Jupiter's got tons of money, and it's a fun place just to spend it.
	Although, Florida, you have an IQ problem.
	I don't mean to disparage any of our Florida sub subscribers, but wow.
	You're not oblivion to it.
	You're oblivious to it.
	And Miami is worse.
	That's going to be the name of this show.
	Miami has an IQ problem.
	But anyway, I'll get to all that.
	So I'm good in Florida, obviously, right?
	But I'm not good at a hotel because hotels are full of tourists.
	And Jupiter, for some reason, is very New York-y.
	So there's lots of, you know, Oberlin College?
	There's lots of Oberlin kids there from New York.
	That's in New York, isn't it?
	Super lefty college.
	Where is it?
	Where are we here?
	Come on, Ryan.
	This is not how you look it up.
	Look on a map.
	Doesn't it say on the...
	Go back.
	I would think it would say that right there on the map.
	No, look on the right.
	Overland College, Ohio.
	Oh, Ohio.
	That's interesting.
	Liberal Arts.
	This book is Sheriff Landon T. Smith.
	That's the book of the day.
	I'm off at a tangent, but don't worry.
	I'll get back to it.
	An Ohio cop in the 70s who has amazing stories.
	Not the best writer in the world.
	Just like my book, Blue Chameleon.
	Remember the cop we had on the show who caught the guy that shot him 50 years later, which was last year?
	It's not a well-written book, but that's how much I love the truth.
	I like badly written books that are all over the place because I know someone's telling me the truth.
	They're not a professional.
	This is why I advise we would never hire anyone with a journalism degree.
	I want authenticity.
	That's all I care about is the truth.
	The rest, I can fill in the blanks.
	It's nice to read good writing once in a while, but I'd rather read true stories from this guy who was a cop back when you're allowed to tune people up, especially in Ohio.
	And the other guy, blue chameleon guy, that's Colorado.
	And the book is called, My Paw Said to Tell You We Had Taters for Supper.
	It's an inside joke you'll see when you read the book.
	All right, so to get back to the story.
	So I'm at the hotel, and we've got time to kill.
	The wedding's not till 5.
	I go check out the car show, and then my kids are in the pool.
	So I go, let's go play in the pool.
	Jump in.
	It's so fucking hot.
	And they were like, everyone was thrilled that it was so cool for this time of year.
	It was like 85 degrees.
	You can feel the sun burning you.
	And they go, oh, you came.
	You're lucky when you came.
	We're usually melting this time of year.
	I'm like, it's not even June.
	Anyway, I'm in the pool.
	And there's a bunch of dudes there also for a wedding.
	They're like in their 20s.
	And one of them is like, Gavin!
	And he's drunk and on shrooms.
	I think all the boys were taking shrooms.
	And they were out to be young again.
	They were there for a wedding, and then they decided to stay in Florida for four days.
	Who has four days just flushed down the toilet after a wedding?
	Like, what are you doing all day?
	So anyway, I say, hold on a sec.
	I go change into my bathing suit, which is this big.
	It's hilarious.
	I wear it as a joke, but now it's my bathing suit.
	But anyway, so the guy comes over and he goes, I'm a subscriber to get off my lawn.
	He's there.
	His wife takes a picture.
	His face looks like an invisible person is sitting on his nose.
	But his wife was a nine.
	And I'm like, how did you get this?
	And he's like, I don't know, dude.
	I am batting out of my league or whatever you say.
	Every day, I hope she doesn't.
	Then we did a long joke about how whenever she has an appointment at the optician, he like comes up with a reason why she can't go.
	So it's distracting her.
	She's like, I need new contacts.
	He's like, yeah, yeah, get them later.
	So we pal around with him for a bit.
	I'm talking.
	And then my wife comes by and she goes, is that guy bothering you?
	Because she was going to beat him up.
	And I go, no, no, he's a fan.
	And I hate that word.
	And she goes, oh, because that guy over there.
	And they're all wearing the same hat, this like Panama beach hat.
	That guy over there said, there's the fucking asshole who started the Proud Boys.
	And then I start noticing when I look around, there's all these people like, alrighty, here we go.
	Now I'm with my buddy Gaston, who's a fucking animal, beast of a man.
	And then I think I should be good because I'm with this guy who's their friend.
	So if we fight, I have me and my buddy taking on all these whisperers and then our publicist with the flat nose going, hey, he's probably watching this too is the funny part.
	He can say, calm down, he's cool, whatever.
	But everyone's a pussy, right?
	So no one wants to fight.
	They just want to like, and I've noticed a new thing with lefties who hate me is staring.
	And as I keep repeating, if you're not an MS-13 and you don't have facial tattoos, staring means nothing.
	Go ahead.
	Take it all in.
	If you want to fight, we can fight.
	If you want to debate, we can debate.
	Otherwise, go fuck yourself.
	I don't give a shit what you think.
	It's like in Turkey, a massive part of their culture is the evil eye, thwarting the evil eye.
	What's the evil eye?
	Oh, someone staring at you or maybe saying bad things about you behind your back.
	What?
	That's your religion?
	That's a major part of your culture is worrying about people gossiping about you?
	When I talk shit about people half the time, I don't even mean it.
	Yeah, that's it.
	That's all in all their jewelry, in all their cars, they carry it around everywhere.
	The evil eye stopper, the Maloikia.
	It's not a Scottish trait, believe me.
	What people say about me behind my back is none of my fucking business.
	And I couldn't care less how many love me, how many hate me.
	We have a lot of subscribers.
	That pays my bills.
	That's all I need.
	The free market has said you're okay in my books, buddy.
	Anyway, so I'm talking with that guy, and he's kind of kissing my ass.
	He's so high and drunk that he thinks it's a sign from God that we met.
	And then he's like, I was doing shrooms with these kids, these Oberlin kids over there.
	And then I bump into you.
	I mean, it's serendipity, man.
	It's divine intervention.
	And I go, eh.
	This is a very long story, by the way.
	And I thought, where the fuck is this going?
	And then it ends up with me.
	That's a funny ending to a story that was a real snooze fest.
	I hope I'm not boring you.
	And then as we're talking, this big guy, oh, a big guy.
	Are we in an 80s movie where you stand up really slow?
	What are you going to do about it, bitch?
	What'd you say?
	And then the Kevin Hart guy is like, what are nothing?
	I didn't know you were a big guy.
	I have a heart condition.
	Yeah.
	Big isn't a thing anymore, just so you know.
	If someone can fight, they get you on the chin.
	If you're in jail, in prison, big guys are scared shitless.
	They eat alone in their cell because they're so sick of fighting all the time because people kick the shit out of them.
	The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
	So big isn't a thing.
	Can you fight is a thing?
	Anyway, this big guy's got some tattoos.
	Ooh.
	Like on his leg and stuff, which is what pussies do because they want to be able to wear pants.
	And so he stands there and I'm talking to Gaston and I can see, and the other guy, the fan, and I can see the big guy at the corner of my eye doing this thing.
	Like again with the staring.
	So I just ignore him.
	My whole thing is like, if you have beef, you can say it to my face.
	And we can argue about the beef.
	Or if you want to say fuck off, that's fine, but I'll just say fuck you.
	We're both wasting our time yelling expletives at each other, but I'm happy to do that.
	But as far as like staring or just standing there, like, what does he tell his friends?
	Oh, I showed him.
	Oh, what'd you do?
	You beat him up?
	No, I stood near him while he was talking.
	And there was no evidence, by the way, that I noticed him because I didn't even look up.
	I was like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	So, remember that guy we had who was bragging on his YouTube channel about staring at a guy in a MAGA hat for the entire flight?
	Oh, yeah, yes.
	I do remember that.
	I just stared at him.
	Badass.
	I looked with my eyeballs.
	That happened to me after I publicly was liking Trump.
	My friend Dan, my former friend, I was at the bar, and he's like, good to see you.
	And he's just standing in front of me.
	And I'm like, you too, man.
	And I was drunk.
	And then in retrospect, I heard that he didn't like me and he was pissed about my Trump shit.
	And that was him trying to intimidate me, just standing there.
	What's up?
	Good to see you.
	And I was like, you too.
	It just didn't get.
	Are you familiar with shoving?
	Right.
	When we don't even know that you are attacking us, it's not a very fruitful attack.
	It's like the COVID thing where you don't even know you have it.
	Can't be that deadly of a disease.
	Anyway, so the original guy, my wife heard, said that fucking asshole started the Proud Boys.
	He doesn't have the courage to come over any of this at any point, right?
	And so I'm ignoring him.
	I see him and some girls.
	Some girl was like this, staring like this.
	For like 40 seconds.
	So I just stare back at her going, and then she goes and looks away.
	She couldn't even do her stupid stare.
	All right.
	So we're going to walk out.
	I see those losers.
	One of them, by the way, are you ready for this?
	He has a dashiki on.
	And it's funny because I had just said I'm going to start wearing a dashiki as a joke.
	Oh, yeah.
	Because it's funny to be a white guy in a dashiki.
	But to be in a white guy in a dashiki and not kidding?
	What?
	What are you doing?
	This is an allegiance to Africa.
	The whole continent?
	The Congo?
	What are you saying?
	I am saying that I recognize the people of Africa.
	How are you so unself-aware that you don't know that you look like an absolute...
	I'll tell you what.
	Black people wearing a dashiki is gay.
	If you're African, yes.
	But if you're born in Pittsburgh and you're running around with a dashiki, I mean, you might as well have a bone necklace.
	You look fucking retarded.
	Anyway, so, and they've all got their sun hats on, remember?
	I don't want to get my ears sunburned.
	I'm a tough guy.
	You are a dashiki.
	So I'm walking, and when I was with the guys, right, drinking beer, there's no, but now I'm walking with my two boys.
	And they always strike, especially my littlest boy.
	That's when everyone gets a real smart mouth is when I'm holding an eight-year-old's hand across the road.
	That's when I get the Z Kiles and the Heil Hitlers and all that shit.
	Because they know I won't attack them.
	If I'm walking my dog with my youngest boy, oh, we can finally get him.
	Anyway, so of course they wait till I'm with my kids.
	And I think I know why.
	And as I'm leaving the pool, the biggest guy, who's probably like 6'2, goes, and this is him kicking ass and taking names.
	He goes, hey man, Black Lives Matter, am I right?
	And gives me a fist pound.
	And I go, oh, yeah.
	And I pound him back and I go, like crazy.
	And then he, and then that's all he has to say, right?
	So I walk away.
	I don't take his fucking bait, passive-aggressive, pussy thing to say.
	And then as I'm leaving, I hear him go, get the fuck out of here.
	Like, I'm five feet away now.
	So I turn around and come back.
	I go, what's going on?
	What's the problem here?
	What's the problem, you fucking pussy?
	You like saying passive-aggressive shit.
	He goes, I'm not being passive-aggressive.
	I go, Yeah, you are.
	You're not saying what's on your mind.
	You fucking loser, you pussy.
	Do something, you asshole.
	You fuck.
	And none of these were hurting his feelings.
	And then I go, you fucking weirdo.
	That hurt him.
	That one struck.
	I was just throwing shit at the wall to see what would stick.
	Right.
	I mean, you are an asshole, and you are, because I was with my kids, and you are a pussy because I was with my kids.
	But weirdo, you're fairly weird to not have the courage to say, fuck the Proud Boys or something.
	And he goes, weirdo?
	I go, yeah, you're a fucking pussy, weirdo.
	And then he takes his sunglasses off to say, like, I'll look you in the eyes.
	Back to the staring.
	People think their eyes are fists these days.
	What is this?
	Do you think you're in the X-Men and lasers are shooting out of those things that are like cutting tables in half like lightsabers?
	They're just eyeballs.
	In fact, next to your testicles, I believe they're the weakest part of your body.
	You ever see the three stooches?
	That's what they all say in like early self-defense classes.
	They go, go for the soft tissue, the eyes, the nuts.
	So then I go, like, I say that kind of thing a bunch.
	And I, you know, you want to do something, do something.
	You won't do anything.
	You're a pussy, pussy, pussy.
	Fuck you.
	I don't play your passive aggressive games.
	You know, this Black Lives Matter shit.
	You can't say what's on your mind.
	You know, same kind of thing.
	It was very short.
	And then I walk away again.
	And then as the door's closing behind me, I hear him go, it's got to sound like a very proud boy.
	What?
	What fucker said that?
	Am I supposed to come back again and repeat all the pussy shit?
	That guy was shaking.
	His knees were shaking.
	His hands were shaking.
	What a fucking loser.
	Anyway, I don't know how I keep getting more famous.
	I've been in hiding for fucking two years.
	You need to give your credit card's secret password in order to hear me talk.
	That's how verbotin I am.
	You have to give your home address, put in your credit card and your code on the back.
	And then once you say that, like that's crazier than a speakeasy or something where there's a password.
	Oh, and you also need a password.
	It's deep web shit.
	And they're like, this fucking guy is a dick.
	Anyway, so that was annoying.
	Wow.
	And then the wedding was cool.
	Beautiful.
	I think there's a picture in there of it.
	It was all my old bosses who fired me from CR-TV.
	No, it was the people at Blaze who fought to keep me there.
	Yeah, that's it.
	And it was a night.
	They had a piano.
	And you know who was the half-Asian Bill was there playing the violin.
	I think he was playing Fools Rush In or something.
	It was much bigger than that.
	That's the world's tiniest violin.
	Oh, I see.
	And I pointed out to Bill, the memes have kind of ruined the violin.
	Because when I walked into the, when I showed up there and he was playing the violin, it sounds like someone being sarcastic.
	Like, oh, poor you.
	I couldn't hear the song because what was louder was the stereotype of it making fun of you for being heard about nothing.
	But dude, I got to say, Asian Bill, half Asian Bill, is a quality dude.
	Very funny dude.
	And a real, I would describe him as a statesman.
	Like he comes into the room and he just sort of commands the room.
	He's a midget like you, but he's just got this sort of like presidential presence.
	Yeah.
	Where he's just like, yes, we're not doing that.
	We're not doing that.
	Come on.
	Let's go outside.
	Why are we here?
	It's hot in here.
	Let's go outside.
	That kind of thing.
	And then everyone goes, yeah, maybe we should go outside.
	That kind of guy.
	But not even like vaguely amped up.
	Like, that's just him.
	No, no.
	I'm handling this and we're doing this.
	And then witty, too.
	And we fucked, I guess.
	And gorgeous.
	You were about to say gorgeous?
	Yeah, witty and gorgeous.
	Melt in your mouth, gorgeous.
	And can drink like a fish.
	So my problem with weddings, though, is I'm very sensitive.
	It's like a funeral.
	Like, show some fucking respect.
	And the two things that pissed me off were maybe, I hope she doesn't get mad at me for speaking.
	It was a beautiful wedding.
	Low-key, outside.
	The reception was in a barn with just the right amount of tables, like eight tables, not too crazy.
	Kids dancing on the dance floor to a live band.
	She even stopped the ceremony and had It Had to Be You had some woman, friend of hers sing like that jazzy song, It Had to Be You, with a piano.
	Like a little break in the middle of the procession, which I thought was cool.
	It could have been a big mistake.
	If she fucked it up or if she wasn't a good singer, you'd be like, what the fuck?
	You interrupted your wedding for some shit song, but it was a beautiful song and she did a great job and the piano was perfect.
	Anyway, here's my two beef.
	One, the officiator was the guy's dad, and he comes out and he says, Joe, blah, blah, blah, you're getting married.
	You're my eldest boy, and we butted heads, and I'm so glad you finally found love.
	Perfect.
	Love it.
	Now go to the bride.
	It's really, let's cut the shit.
	It's the bride's day.
	This is not about the groom.
	It's not about anyone there.
	It's her big day.
	She's committing to this person forever.
	I mean, he is too, but you know what I mean?
	He doesn't really care.
	He'd do it at City Hall.
	So let's make it all about her.
	Then the guy starts going through his sons who were there.
	And Chris, my second oldest boy, you know, your strength this past year has been unprecedented.
	We've learned so much from you.
	And then my youngest boy.
	I'm changing all their names.
	Gregory, what an inspiration.
	I've learned so much more from you than I could ever teach, blah, blah, blah.
	And you're like, what?
	And I don't care.
	That's exactly what I was thinking.
	Like, I'm never even going to talk to this person.
	Not at the reception.
	I don't give a fuck.
	No one does.
	And then he shows up at the reception and everyone's there.
	Hey, blah, blah, blah.
	One's got suits on and stuff.
	And he shows up and he goes, well, I'm the la, I'm changing the names again.
	I'm the only O'Reilly who's not married.
	That's nice.
	Got anything else to tell us about yourself on her day?
	Her day.
	The story, I gave a good speech at it.
	I talked about how she cares so much.
	Like, I met her through media booking, Stossel, and stuff.
	I was a guest.
	And she would text you shit like after the show.
	All the other, there's a lot of chicks that ran Hannity's show, and they were just clearly just punching in the clock, and they couldn't wait to go home.
	She cared.
	And she would, you know, text me after.
	Like, you know that story with the hacking?
	They hacked the pipeline and they had to pay a $6 million ransom.
	But it turns out now it was $90 million and private companies paid it?
	What's going on now?
	So everyone thought it was $6 million.
	And then she would do the kind of thing she would do is text me after the show and go, that bribe was actually $90 million, $90 million ransom.
	So I talked about that and how this person generally cared.
	And I just thought, let's not waste all this care.
	She's a tsunami of care.
	And you want to bottle that and direct it somewhere other than media.
	This is all just punditry.
	Media is silly.
	It's not real.
	Not like a loving marriage.
	I don't want to say kids because she's getting older.
	And I go, and our friend here managed to bottle up all this care.
	Let me give an example of how much she cared.
	I was doing my show.
	I've told you this story before.
	And now I want to talk about the time I did Coke on a hot mic.
	But there's little kids there, and the other family is very Christian.
	In fact, I think the officiator was a priest.
	And I go, so I didn't like that I didn't get along with the guest during the show.
	So we're going pee together, coincidentally, after the show.
	And I pull out some, I didn't say cocaine.
	I said, I looked at him, I go, hey, do you want to do a little Toots Magoots?
	And he goes, sure, why not?
	So he goes, and then I take mine and go, and I come back to her office saying, we're going to go get a beer.
	And she goes, she's crying.
	And she goes, I don't want to get this show canceled.
	And I go, babe, I'm going to, I'm avoiding using her name.
	I'm going to get fired sooner or later.
	It's just, it's going to happen.
	The only question is when?
	What are you worrying about?
	And she goes, it's a good show, but your fucking mic was on, you imbecile.
	And everyone heard it, the control room in DC, the people in Dallas, like the owners.
	Everyone heard me snorting cocaine.
	And I got to fit in that joke and use it as an example of how much she cares.
	And then I said the groom managed to bottle that care and direct it where it belongs in a loving relationship.
	So that went well.
	And then the other pet peeve at the fucking wedding, there's always one of them at every wedding.
	I think my dad was one actually at mine.
	He shows up in a footlocker polo, which isn't even a nice polo.
	He looked like a fucking ref.
	He had a footlocker polo, which is like a cheap polyester white polo with like two buttons.
	It looks like he was refing like a kid's basketball game.
	And then he had athletic pants on, like the kind with an elastic waistband, kind of like rayon rugby pants kind of a thing.
	Like the kind of pants you wear if you're under home arrest.
	And then he had flip-flops on.
	This guy was probably 70 years old.
	Flip-flops.
	His gross 70-year-old man feet.
	You know how at that age, like a toenail will fall off and they won't even care?
	They're Jeff Goldblum in the fly, for fuck's sakes.
	And then on top of that, his hair was at that point where when you get really old and it just becomes straw and it grows like a puppet.
	He had puppet hair and he hadn't cut it.
	You can't get a fucking haircut?
	Like it's disrespectful to the bride.
	That was too much of indecence.
	So he's sitting in front of me the whole time with his liver spots on his stupid bald head.
	What a pig.
	Anyway, so then we're driving around.
	We're in Jupiter, which is very nice.
	Very New York.
	I think Florida is dumb.
	Sorry, guys.
	And Jupiter has all the dumbest New Yorkers who go down there.
	They try to speak English and stuff and do okay.
	And then we went up to Miami to see the Mets play the Marlins, which was weird.
	Sweet.
	I'd say a third of the audience were Mets fans.
	Cheering.
	And I was walking around with my boys going, you know, if this was Glasgow and we were showing up to a Celtics game like this in Rangers gear, we would be murdered.
	We'd be dead by now.
	We'd been stabbed.
	There'd be people screaming, throwing shit at us.
	Instead, I'm just like sitting next to someone in a Marlin shirt and cheering when they suck.
	They creamed us.
	It was 5-0.
	It's cool being, have you ever seen a baseball game in a stadium before?
	It's weird.
	It's cold.
	And what happens when the ball, if the ball hits a rafter and bounces back?
	I guess it's a foul?
	I don't know.
	No balls came close, and they had no home runs.
	A vertical foul?
	But Miami is like all the dumbness of Florida times 10.
	Like the IQ is of an already low IQ state.
	Everyone there is an imbecile.
	It's like the movie Idiocracy.
	Like when we were driving back to the airport, the guy got lost twice with GPS.
	And every Uber we got, oh, there's an Uber I got.
	He didn't have shoes on.
	Look at his feet.
	Thank you for that.
	At least he's got a hot ass foot.
	And nine pairs of glasses.
	Like he's a moron.
	Why do you have nine pairs of glasses?
	Because you're special.
	And they kept getting lost even with the, like they can't follow GPS.
	And very loud people too.
	Like the Mets game was deafening.
	And there's a DJ in between plays.
	Hey, Miami.
	Woo!
	Shut up.
	Fucking everywhere you go.
	We go out for dinner on this outdoor patio.
	It's called the Rusty Pelican.
	And there's just black people on jet skis with music blasting, boats coming by, like shaking the table.
	People smoking cigars next to me.
	Women, I assume they're lesbians, smoking cigars all over our table.
	Can you stop?
	It was just obnoxious.
	And They're so dumb that they're racist without even knowing that that's bad.
	So I'm in the cab and I'm doing.
	My brother, my eldest boy said this was racist of me, but I do it to Scottish people too in every accent.
	But we get in and the guy's like, oh, you come to Miami.
	Yes, it's Zoja Ruru.
	This place was a boca town, very expensive, very expensive.
	And I'm going, it's bad.
	Oh, it's so crazy.
	It's crazy.
	I hate when you do that.
	Well, it's only bad if someone points it out.
	Right.
	The tree falls in the woods and no one's there to hear it.
	So sometimes my wife will go, he's sorry.
	He doesn't.
	And I'm like, honey, you just made it real.
	You just heard him.
	It was off the books before.
	So he had no clue I was being him.
	And he's like, yeah, this place, a lot of people coming down here, a lot of people.
	And he's a lot of money going around Miami right now.
	Like, it doesn't look like it.
	It looks like fucking Beirut.
	Rebar poking out.
	And also, speaking of idiocracy, there's all these construction projects.
	You can tell someone gave up.
	Like a bridge opened like this right by Little Havana that's rotting.
	And it's like a 700-ton bridge.
	It looks like an ocean liner would go through there.
	But it looks like they just ran out of money and gave up.
	Roads closed, rebar, garbage, fucking ducks with AIDS just sitting on the road fighting with a cat.
	Quack.
	Ducklings everywhere.
	Shit, vomit, beans because they're feeding the ducks.
	Just like a mess.
	A total idiocracy.
	Piles of garbage everywhere.
	Anyway, he goes, yeah, boys, kind of big problem with black people.
	A lot of black people coming here.
	They believe.
	Don't go to Salt Beach.
	Lot of crime.
	They wrecking shit and stealing.
	And I go, a lot of drugs.
	They're doing drugs, selling drug.
	And he's like, yeah, yeah.
	And prostitution, prostitution.
	Like, my family's in the car.
	What the fuck?
	Like, you're saying the problem with Miami is black people are here to a family.
	Like little kids.
	Like, everyone's going to go, oh, that's too bad.
	We all obviously hate black people as you do.
	Like, could you be more tone deaf?
	Hey, when you're driving your taxi around, maybe don't be racist.
	I'm not saying that there isn't a problem with crime in Miami and might be that demographic, but like as Bill Burr says, maybe get to know me better before you put on the clan hood.
	Yeah.
	Remember this?
	When you mimicked the Chinese guy?
	A little bit, but he's still good guy.
	I'm so uncomfortable right now in real life.
	Trying to take the attention.
	It's like a lady.
	That guy knew after.
	No, he didn't.
	Because he stopped talking, though.
	Yeah, because we were talking.
	Oh, yes.
	Chinese people don't want to bother you.
	Yeah, so anyway, I'm sorry to keep insulting Floridians.
	Florida's awesome, by the way.
	And it wasn't as mask-free as I thought it would be.
	It's no Texas 1-2.
	Texas is open and ready to rock.
	But there's a train that I wanted to take that goes from Jupiter to Miami.
	I just did Ubers the whole time, including a $211 Uber from Jupiter to Miami, which was still cheaper than renting a car.
	But yeah, Texas is good to go.
	The train was shut down from Jupiter to Miami because of COVID.
	And you still saw a lot of people with masks.
	Kind of disappointing.
	In fact, I'd argue the burbs outside of New York City, Westchester, and Long Island have less masks than Florida.
	At my local pub by my house, no one wears a mask, not even the bartenders, nobody.
	Did I cover everything?
	Is that enough insulting an entire state?
	I mean, they can't even get off the plane.
	Like, they get their shit and they start walking up.
	And I'm like, no, no, it goes by rows.
	I cannot tell you how many times I've had to explain to numbskulls that row one goes out first, then row two.
	Wouldn't it be strange if row 38 tried to get out before row 14?
	That would be what's called impossible.
	So I think a normal, I shouldn't even have to say this.
	No one told me this.
	It's like my parents were the dishwasher.
	Like, I kind of want this.
	I go, I didn't get to take a night course in dishwasher.
	It's intuitive.
	On, off, wash clothes.
	And so this guy's coming with his luggage.
	And so I've got to send my boy out because I'm in the middle seat.
	And I'm like, hold on there.
	Stand there.
	And then the other guy's standing there and then I have to look at him, do my stare.
	This is me doing a stare.
	And then I have to go, can you?
	And he just has this look of like a dead goat.
	Like, I'm like, you gotta, we gotta get out here.
	And he doesn't say anything.
	He's just like, eh.
	And he doesn't go back.
	Like, if you could see in his brain and see his thoughts, you just see like a tumbleweed.
	Nothing, not negative, not positive, not, I don't understand.
	That's all too much.
	It was just a vacuous wasteland was in his head.
	So then I just make sure that this, because I would fucking rather die than let him butt in front of my family, my children, my wife.
	Fuck you.
	It's my youngest son's new trick.
	Giving people the finger without giving them the finger.
	You go.
	Oh, that's pretty cool.
	I'm snapping.
	So yeah, I feel bad now, shitting on Florida so much.
	But.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	What will it take?
	Fury over Freed Cop Dragger's new rampage.
	Oh, the guy who dragged the cop.
	Yep.
	I saw an article actually here where it was like, cops should have stayed around.
	And they went to this woman's house, and then she had been freaking out about her boyfriend.
	They just took a report.
	They couldn't do anything.
	And then he came back later and stabbed her to death.
	And they're like, the cops should have stayed there.
	So now we have to be, you defund the police, get rid of them, but now we want them back and we want them to violate the law, the protocol.
	And if some chick's complaining with no evidence, you have to stay there in her house and guard her.
	Teens being taught in New York schools, porn, porn literacy, they're being taught such subjects as the orgasm gap and women and gays and the most searched-for smut terms, including anal and gang pain.
	That's in the paper.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	She was teaching her students that.
	Her name is, what's her name?
	Justine Ang Fonte.
	There's the Palestinian who's totally happy.
	Anyway, you don't tune into a show to watch someone look at the newspaper.
	Oh, Chrissy Teigen is canceled, which is fun.
	It's fun when their side gets canceled, isn't it?
	And then there's AOC who claims that she has to see a therapist now because she's so traumatized by the Capitol invasion because she thought she was going to die.
	She's been to war.
	She's taking my joke with the war movie vet and she's making it real.
	She says it's like she's been in a war and she has PTSD.
	Alexandria, you weren't there.
	That's a pretty big deal.
	That's a pretty big detail to leave out.
	You were not at the Capitol building when it was, quote-unquote, invaded.
	Her basic training was fire drills in high school.
	Yeah, this was a funny story, a sign of hypocrisy.
	You see the guy with the sword?
	That's, what was his name?
	Dessalin?
	He was a soldier during the Revolution.
	The slaves took over Haiti, and they murdered all the white people, chopped off babies' heads, raped women, then stabbed them to death, then cut off...
	They did a lot of beheadings.
	In fact, in this picture, he's beheaded, right?
	Drank their blood.
	We've talked about this, where they would take the skulls of white people and drink their blood.
	And they just named a street after him in New York.
	Now, you can't have Christopher Columbus there, but you can have this fucking slaughtering Haitian emperor.
	So yeah.
	Brooklyn principal urged teachers to denounce Israel.
	A lot going on.
	Maybe I should start doing a Friday show.
	The news piles up to the point where I can't even take a bite out of it.
	We got to get to this new studio sooner than later, dude.
	I'm cooking right now.
	It is very hot.
	Tell me if you can hear the AC on the mic.
	Very, very low.
	Like, if I press...
	What if I put my mic on this side?
	That should be even less.
	I think it's more there.
	Maybe because how close it is now?
	As opposed to the direction.
	Okay.
	Yeah, you know what?
	It's just getting a bassy sound.
	We're just going to try this for a sec.
	Please humor me, alright?
	It'll be a better show if I'm not cooking.
	Yeah, it's not really registering.
	People are always complaining about the audio on this show.
	We haven't...
	I mean, in a while, I think it's been pretty quiet.
	It's pretty quiet for him.
	It's quiet.
	Yeah, it's quite quiet.
	It's quiet.
	It's quiet.
	I haven't started the show yet.
	Did I tell you all my things?
	Oh, yeah.
	On the plane, I saw a cool movie called...
	Oh, shit, what's it called?
	The Vault.
	I'm noticing there's this trend where movies, action movies especially, have become European.
	If you're American outside the bathroom, what are you when you're inside?
	European.
	And I think it's because a lot of these countries will double your money.
	So if you make a $5 million movie in Belgium, they'll pay you $5 million.
	So now you have a $10 million movie.
	And you obviously have to use Belgian actors and Belgian locations.
	So these guys got a bunch of money.
	The production companies at the beginning is like 32 production companies.
	These guys got a bunch of money.
	And you can tell they had to have a German in it, a Brit, shoot it in Britain and in Spain, and have Spanish actors.
	So they bombard you with Euro culture and all these people with accents.
	If you can get past that, which is no small feat, then you're watching a cool movie about these guys robbing a vault in Spain, which I think really exists and is based on water.
	But yeah, it's worth checking out.
	I don't know why I just said that.
	You should watch it.
	You always got to rent action movies on a plane because you don't want there to be a kissing scene.
	I've not seen like one coming attraction for this, but it's just as big as any other release right now.
	Well, that's...
	Movies have gone weird on us.
	Yeah.
	They're either straight to Netflix or like that's, you know, nobody was.
	Bob Odenkirk was kind of lucky because that would have normally been like an indie film no one heard about.
	But because there's so few movies being put out, it's like the most talked about movie in the country.
	Too bad he fucking lied and said he was home invaded several times.
	Bullshit, Bob.
	And it wasn't by Russians.
	And yeah, home invasions are not really a Russian thing.
	They're not really a white thing.
	Let's just make all movies like this.
	Have you seen these?
	Dad Revenge movies.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	This is awesome, right?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Okay, let's start the show.
	Ready?
	And the show is officially beginning one hour in.
	I'm Not going to do any three-hour shows anymore.
	That's just stupid, right?
	That's good for a sit-down.
	Remember that shitty dad from last week?
	Some people were mad that I blamed him almost as much as the black criminal.
	No.
	The black criminal who murdered that little kid is the top of the bad guy list.
	Let's just, let's save us some court time and just shoot him in the head.
	Throw him in a hole.
	But the dad, way, way down the culpability line, is also a piece of shit because he left his kids at the ex-girlfriend's because he wanted to skip a court appearance for felony drug charges.
	Like, dude, you got to have a different fucking lifestyle when you have kids, you loser.
	And you couldn't leave them with the mom, the biological mom.
	And I'm telling you, predators can smell vulnerability.
	I once knew a chick who had a crazy theory.
	And she was a liberal.
	This is back before Trump when liberals could say controversial things.
	She said, and that AC is getting way too loud.
	She said that gay priests can smell gay kids.
	Whoa.
	Not literally smell, but like, I should have said sense.
	Oh, yeah.
	That a kid is growing up to be gay, and those are the ones they prey on because they might like it a little bit.
	That's a horrible thing to say.
	That's her theory.
	Okay?
	It's not mine.
	But it's also possible that predators can sort of suss out when a child is being neglected.
	And they think that'll be a better target.
	So this guy had been stalking the home for weeks, planning to murder a child, that little boy.
	And she looks kind of good there, like a pretty girl who's uglifying herself.
	You know what I mean?
	Like a Jewish art photographer.
	But no, that's her done up, trying to look nice.
	She looks like a skell, and that's their disgusting bedroom.
	Look at that shit.
	What's on the walls?
	Is that shit?
	And what kind of loser doesn't have blinds?
	Like, blankets on the wall on the...
	That's something that out of the fag zone.
	No, I've got blinds.
	No, you have that one piece of cloth that's like a space scene?
	Oh yeah, that I do have, yes.
	Yeah.
	I have one of those.
	It's for losers like Ryan who live in hoarder pig sties.
	But you have kids and you don't have blinds?
	And what's that rug?
	What's that white sheet just stuck to the wall there?
	What is that about?
	You know what I think it might be?
	I think the blinds fell.
	And that's them upside down.
	And they never did anything.
	You know what that smells like?
	Speaking of smells, is meth.
	I think we got some meth heads here.
	Like, the curtains are upside down.
	Oh, someone's got a nice house, piece of property there.
	But keep going down.
	I think they show other pictures of the house.
	There's this disgusting bed that's not really a bed with a pillow.
	It looks like it's from a couch.
	There's fucking carpeting.
	I mean, sorry, curtains hanging upside down.
	What else do we got?
	Also, why'd you let the Daily Mail into your home to take pictures?
	So this guy is now talking about it.
	Saying, get this.
	It's been hard for him.
	Try getting murdered.
	That's much worse.
	This is like when they go, oh, wait, she's talking?
	Let me see what she's saying.
	But that's exactly the way that they want people.
	Was that his thing there was later?
	That sucks.
	Wines are 20 bucks.
	Oh, he was happy.
	He was a happy baby.
	He was eager to learn.
	He was very eager to learn.
	He wanted to know how to read so bad.
	He always said, what does that say?
	And what's that say?
	And then what's that say?
	Oh, man.
	Was he a happy child?
	He was a very happy child.
	Very, very, very happy child.
	I don't know.
	Like I said, you heard a lot of them.
	Look at her eyes.
	She's on meth.
	You love bugs.
	I don't like bugs.
	Cash would chase me with bugs.
	And he thought it was funny.
	And the sores, that's another meth thing.
	Was he a disgusting human being?
	Let's just kill them too.
	Electric chair for everyone.
	He's the leader.
	He was the one that showed Carter how to do everything.
	Okay, I don't want to see her anymore.
	She's making me sick.
	But the dad, who's also on that page, you can see him.
	He says, you have no idea how hard it has been for all of us to hold it together while everyone picks your family apart.
	What family?
	You don't have a family?
	You absconded.
	What are you doing, Ryan?
	Show the pictures of him.
	It's not in the video.
	There's actual pictures there.
	My name is Trevor Gernin.
	I'm the father of Cash Gernin and Carter Gernin.
	Why are you even talking to the media?
	All of you have questions, and I would like to take a moment to address the public.
	First, let me say that I do not wish this nightmare on any parent.
	You have no idea how hard it has been for all of us or how hard it is to hold it together while everyone picks your family apart.
	Family turning on it.
	It's not even your girlfriend.
	All attention and time should be reserved for cash.
	I want to thank you all for being so compassionate and motivated.
	I almost shouldn't have shown that.
	Don't get divorced.
	Now, I have heard a couple excuses.
	I don't like the, she's crazy.
	Because why were you with her in the first place?
	And why'd you knock up a crazy bitch?
	You knew you weren't going to last.
	But one excuse I've heard is, she's a crazy, stupid, horrible cunt bitch that I had kids with because I was on drugs that whole time.
	But then even that's kind of bad because, like, why are you, like, if you're going to be a drug addict and a drunk, then don't make humans.
	Just like keep to yourself.
	Sleep in the bathtub and wet yourself.
	But I saw this interesting story that our female viewers were like in the New York Post 1-4 where these people, they got divorced for some stupid reason.
	Divorce has got no stigma here.
	No one says like you wasted her best years or anything.
	So people will just do it when they're going through a rough time.
	As I've said a million times on the show, you can have a rough year.
	People go to Afghanistan and fight, don't see their family for a year.
	People move to a shithole like China because of work and have to smell those fucking eggs, those boiling eggs and tea everywhere they go.
	And look at dog shit.
	There's dog shit everywhere.
	Shit everywhere in China.
	It's filthy.
	Everything.
	I used to ride my bike.
	This is Taiwan, which is much cleaner than China, mainland China.
	I'd ride my bike to a client to teach English.
	I'd get there, wash my face on a white towel.
	I'd dry off.
	There'd be a hand, a hand, and my exact face on the fucking towel.
	That's how filthy it is there, just riding your bike from A to B. But anyway, people go there and they have a shitty year and then they come back and they made some money and they made progress with their company.
	So this article, the Brooklyn couple were married for about seven years, but divorced amicably in 2012 after attending to sick parents and dealing with life obstacles became too much.
	What?
	Like sleep in separate beds for a little while.
	You're just too stressed out by your mom dying.
	I know a guy back in Williamsburg whose mom died and he was so distraught, he got divorced.
	Like he couldn't stop crying and his life fell apart and so his marriage fell apart.
	What?
	I do not get that.
	Then about two years ago, Don ran into his former wife's nephew on the street.
	After hearing she never remarried, he made major overtures to win her back.
	And eventually she broke down and now they're dating and fucking and they know each other's bodies and they know what each other likes and she makes good Italian food.
	Unquote.
	Got a little carried away.
	Oh, she's Eastern European.
	Mashkovich.
	Gary Don.
	Do you want my classic Mashkovich potatoes?
	Dad said I had taters for supper.
	I already told you that, told you that.
	I'm bored of racism.
	Let's check out Israel for a sec.
	I'll come back to racism later.
	Anti-Semitism from the Arab community is so deep that you can tell, sorry, this is 4-7.
	You can tell that they learned this from kindergarten.
	I am not perilous.
	To the believers to be the Jews, may he annihilate this filthy people who have neither religion nor conscience.
	I condemn whoever believes in normalizing relations with them, whoever supports sitting down with them, and whoever believes that they are human beings.
	They are not human beings.
	They are not people.
	They have no religion, no conscience, and no moral values.
	Our hatred of the Jews is based upon our faith.
	Perfect.
	The Quran tells us to hate them, not to love them.
	If the Jews left Palestine to us, would we start loving them?
	Of course not.
	We will never love them.
	Absolutely not.
	Your belief regarding the Jews should be first, that they are infidels, and second, that they are enemies.
	They are enemies, not because they occupied Palestine.
	They would have been enemies even if they did not occupy a thing.
	We would treat the Jews as our enemies, even if they returned Palestine to us.
	Because they are infidels.
	In other words, we're not looking for any kind of negotiation.
	Which I say, good, done.
	Wall, shh.
	You fuck with me, I shoot you.
	Done.
	Why do they keep trying to appease them?
	And you know how many people were kicked out of Palestine when Israel was formed?
	About 1,500.
	And the Arab community was so mad at the Jews that they kicked out about the same amount from their various Arab countries.
	And now you have Muslims living in Israel, which I don't like.
	Never happened in the States.
	Because Jews aren't even allowed to go over the border and go into Gaza.
	Avi Yemeni has a great little mini video up 5-0 about his family who lived in Gaza.
	And I remember this in 2005, the Jews said, okay, we're going to appease you.
	We want peace so badly.
	So they bulldozed, I don't know what it was, 20 different residences that were in Gaza that were seen as settlements.
	And these people lost everything, lost their homes.
	It was eminent domain, right?
	So they got what they say is market value, but it's below market value.
	And then they threw them in to the equivalent of the Bronx and said, start your farm again up here, fucker.
	And what did that do?
	Did the Palestinians say, thank you for this.
	We respect your gesture of peace.
	We will refund this same peace back to you.
	No, they saw it as weakness.
	So it actually ramped up the violence because the hyena saw someone in the pack with a limp and they went, ooh, this is a good time to strike.
	And they didn't take Avi Yamini, who was one of the families.
	They didn't take their farm and make it a great farm.
	They turned it into Hamas' headquarters to launch more rockets.
	Moral of the story, don't capitulate.
	I think that's them being bombed now from Gaza.
	They're in Israel and they're getting bombed probably from their own location.
	You hear the explosions?
	There's a bomb.
	I'm just getting sick and tired of people telling me how they love my work, but that I need to educate myself on the Israel.
	Oh, yeah.
	Everyone's an Israel expert who's never been there.
	There's two types of people who talk about Israel.
	People who've been there and people who haven't.
	Don't talk to me if you haven't been there.
	And even anti-Semites, you should go there and see how many of your theories are true.
	And my mom, grandma, uncles, aunties, cousins, siblings, nephews and nieces, pretty much most of my family still live there.
	So today, I'm going to do something a little different.
	I'm going to share with you just one of my family's stories, their reality that I believe sums up everything that's happening right now.
	This is my uncle Yossi Yemeni.
	He used to have the cherry tomatoes in Kushkadif.
	That's what he used to export out of Kushkadif throughout the entire Israel and the Middle East.
	In 2005, my uncle Yossi, my mother's brother, his wife and five kids were forcibly evicted from their home in Gaza by the Israeli government, ironically, in a land for peace deal with the Palestinians.
	What's up?
	Should we have told the listeners, people who are listening?
	Oh shit, I keep forgetting that people might be listening to this audio.
	Anyway, that'll be in the show notes on the site on the blog.
	I put the show notes up there every day.
	And you can watch that whole thing.
	And it's just like, it's just a great example of how the narrative and the truth are so far apart.
	This idea that Israel is just bullying these innocent villagers.
	I saw a great Dennis Prager video.
	I should put that on the notes, where he goes through John Oliver's rant about Israel.
	And he's like, Palestinians don't have an iron dome, but Israelis do.
	And then this IDF officer says, yes, they do have an iron dome.
	It's called peace.
	Don't launch rockets, and we won't launch rockets on you.
	It might be in there.
	Is that it?
	Dennis Prager.
	This is the fireside chat with Otto.
	How well known is Otto?
	You ask?
	Probably not asking, but I'll ask.
	Anyway, first of all, is he up?
	What's the story here?
	I love Dennis Prager.
	I didn't know he was Jewish.
	I got a book called In Defense of Israel, and then I saw it was written by Prager.
	He encourages Christianity a lot, too.
	Well, they all do.
	Look at Ezra.
	Right.
	True.
	Like Muslims say, smite ye above their necks.
	We're all infidels.
	We all have to convert or die.
	And then Jews, for the most part, especially Orthodox, recognize that we're basically on the same page.
	Yeah, Christians, too.
	The Jesus thing.
	One side says Jesus is magic.
	The other side says he was just a guy.
	Now, he only did miracles for, I don't know, three months.
	So we're really just differing on three months.
	And that's not bad.
	And in Israel and the occupied Palestinian territories, Palestinians are essentially being governed by a form of apartheid.
	Apartheid?
	What does it mean, a form of apartheid?
	Do Arab Israelis not have the same rights as Jewish Israelis?
	If he's saying that, he's lying.
	That's a big charge.
	Muslim Israelis have all the same rights.
	You know what I noticed?
	They do.
	They complain about the quality of the roads.
	I mentioned that before, right?
	The road, the picture.
	Anyway, that's a great video.
	I should get that in the notes.
	Can you email that to me?
	Yep.
	Did you see Shapiro's tweet about the population of Jews in the various countries and stuff?
	No?
	That was pretty eye-opening, too.
	I'll see if I could find it.
	Look at Geraldo here losing his shit with Dan Bongino, who's kicking ass and taking names.
	He's got Trump coming on as a guest.
	Damn.
	He's taking over Rush Limbaugh's spot.
	No one knows what race he is, though.
	It looks like, you know what he looks like when lefties say in the future, there will be no different races.
	We'll all be one race.
	He's the Pangea of the races.
	Filipino, black, Italian, white, Chinese man.
	Like Fred Armison.
	You missed it.
	Here's about a minute of my appearance last night with a role.
	You know what?
	Wait, before I get to that, before I get to that, this is important.
	I don't want to go out of order here because it is critical.
	We do this the right way.
	Remember the theme of the show today.
	Liberals live in an alternate reality that's not real, has real world effects.
	When they do stupid stuff, there's an article Bongino.com written by resident fact checker Matt Palumbo.
	I want you to check it out, please.
	It'll be in my newsletter today.
	It's very informative.
	Survey finds conservative media viewers are more informed than liberals on important topics.
	Folks, read the article.
	I'm not going to do the whole thing.
	It's up at my website, bongino.com.
	It's an amazing piece.
	People who watch Fox News and conservative media know a whole lot more than liberals who watch MSNBC on coronavirus, police shootings, Israel, the national debt, tax rates, health care, and gun violence.
	We just know more.
	There are facts.
	How many people are killed with AR-15 rifles every year?
	Liberals don't know.
	Conservatives do.
	I bet it's like 20% of Americans that don't have health care.
	Liberals don't know.
	Conservatives do.
	Okay, go ahead, J. Geraldo.
	Liberals don't know why the United States although again, I have to correct his misinformation about what's actually going on in Israel because then liberals will believe it and they'll want to start a war with Israel.
	Check this out.
	There are dozens of Talistan.
	And whose fault is that?
	Whose fault is the protection provided to Israel by the United States without your demand for a ceasefire?
	I demand.
	Cease fire.
	I demand that Israel win the war.
	Israel needs to win the war against terrorism.
	Cease fire?
	They're getting shot at.
	What are they supposed to do?
	You shoot at us, we shoot at you.
	Pretty simple.
	Otherwise, what do we do?
	We just sit there with the Iron Dome getting murdered every day?
	Rockets that they're people killing.
	All these children.
	Death.
	Peraldo, you do this every time.
	This is such garbage, and I'm really getting sick of it.
	You play this emotional game with the audience and use your position of responsibility to put out misinformation and public things.
	You have the nothing to address the momentum.
	You didn't come on the show to attack me.
	You came on the show to talk about the issue.
	Because again, you're in your position of authority.
	They take a view.
	That are absolutely outrageous.
	Around those.
	Furthest thing from a punk.
	Because you can't go on the air.
	I'm out of control.
	Calm it down.
	Yeah, you really calm him down.
	Maybe trying to make experience in the Middle East.
	Have you ever even been there?
	I want to make my points, John.
	Again, you see what happens?
	He goes to the emotional argument right away.
	I know what he means by punk.
	He means he's, you know, 40 years in the business and Dan's new to this.
	So he's a punk in that he's a little kid.
	He's not polished like Geraldo.
	But go farther ahead.
	He says, like, he keeps talking about these Palestinian kids.
	Yes, Hamas puts children in harm's way.
	They bomb Israel from the hospital.
	They bomb Israel from residential apartment buildings.
	It's a miracle that more innocent civilians don't die.
	That was all the Geraldo in that club.
	Oh, okay.
	What's 4-9?
	Everyone is so fucking uninformed on this subject.
	Oh, this one's pretty good.
	Yeah.
	I'm pretty...
	Have you noticed, by the way, how mainstream I am?
	Like, Charlie Kirk, Dan Bongino, The Driver is Racist in Miami.
	Like, this show is a pretty moderate show.
	Meanwhile, I got fucking frat boys trying to attack me when I'm with my kids because I'm the master of hate.
	The fucking asshole who started the Brat Boys.
	I bet they're squeaky clean, too.
	They have no opinions that are.
	All of their allegations, like you foster hate.
	Let's hear them talk about Israel.
	Let's hear them talk about MAGA, Trump supporters.
	Then you hear nothing but hate.
	Which land are you talking about specifically?
	Well, Gaza they've given up.
	Gaza's all PA now.
	They've given up Gaza?
	Yes, the IDF does not give up.
	How many Jews live in Gaza?
	How many Jews live in Gaza?
	Zero.
	Zero.
	Every Jewish, every Jewish Israeli was forced out of Gaza.
	Just stop.
	I understand if you don't give a shit about Israel.
	That I totally get.
	If you just say, I don't like foreign policy and just, that's, I care about my neighborhood.
	Gotcha.
	But if this is your thing, and you're lining up to argue with Charlie Kirk, and you don't know that there's no more Jews in Gaza.
	Five.
	Zero Jews live in Gaza.
	Zero.
	By the way, 17 people die from AR-15s every year out of 331 million.
	Not a big deal.
	Yes, because Jews tend to have children, so you have to build more houses to accommodate them.
	No doubt.
	So let's talk, let's just fax audience.
	Now it become a hot tub for terrorists in Hamas.
	Hundreds of millions a year from the West go to Hamas.
	Yet zero hospitals and zero new schools have been built in the last five years.
	Yet over 30 terror tunnels have been found in the last two years.
	They are controlled by Hamas.
	If anyone defends Hamas, I'm sorry.
	That's just an indecent conversation I can't have for you.
	Oh, okay.
	You have a right to that opinion, but let me finish what I'm saying.
	What did I just say?
	That's incorrect, though, because I think the fact that there's no new hospitals and no new schools being built and it's Hamas, hundreds of millions of dollars are being given to them by the UN and by the U.S. Hamas.
	Do you guys denounce Hamas?
	Do you denounce Hamas?
	What?
	You don't.
	Wait, what do you think of Hamas?
	Wait, what do you think of Hamas?
	Do you know that it's not affording space?
	No, no, it's an open space.
	No, you don't, actually.
	It's a first time.
	See, that's another thing they're totally unaware of.
	When you're in public, there's a reasonable expectation of being photographed and videotaped.
	You knew that 100 people were going to see you that day.
	Now it's 100,000.
	It's just more than you expected.
	So no, there is no law against being recorded in public.
	Sorry.
	This is all college.
	Like you're going at least $100,000 in debt to go to a place where you come out stupider than when you went in.
	I mean, I could teach, like, that shit about being videotaped, all the stuff Charlie Kirk said.
	She learned more in this one minute than she would learn in an entire college career.
	So I'm sorry, you forfeited your right to privacy being in an open space on a public ground in a public university.
	I can't touch Jews.
	Let's go to Jews.
	But you do know in Hamas's charter, it does say to kill Jews, right?
	Like in Hamas's actual governing documents, are you okay with that?
	They're 12 years old, they're being tried in.
	Well, Hamas does use children as human shields.
	Well, we are.
	We are.
	We are.
	But if a 12-year-old is part of Hamas, I have to look at the specifics of that.
	They should be interviewed.
	I mean, of course.
	I've never said that a country is out faults.
	I have said they are the most moral country In the Middle East, and I'm fascinated by the amount of hatred that is thrown at them.
	I'm fascinated by the amount of hatred that is thrown at them.
	Well, it's a white hatred of 8 million Jews, and they see them as the ultimate whites, and we live in an anti-white society.
	Let's jump over to Antifa, because they're very anti-Israeli.
	Is Charlie Kirk still going on in the background?
	Yes.
	I'll never forget seeing an article in Haretz.
	Now, you want to talk about liberals and anti-Semitism?
	Check out Israel.
	Their liberals are so fucking radical left, it's insane.
	And it gets to the point where they're pro-Palestine and pro-Antifa.
	So I saw an article in Horetz.
	Herets, I think it's Hebrew for the land or something, but they said to criticize Antifa is anti-Semitic.
	I guess because a lot of Antifa are Jewish.
	I don't know what the fuck their rationale was.
	But I look at the article, and it was written by a guy in Antifa who writes for Heretz.
	And I just thought...
	What the fuck?
	Hey, Jews, you know how Antifa feels about Palestine and Israel?
	They want you all to die, including you, Horetz, including this building.
	Antifa wants it to blow up.
	They want Israel to cease to be.
	That is the position of everyone in Antifa.
	The communists, the anarchists.
	It's the one thing they all agree on.
	Fuck Israel.
	And there you are saying people who criticize that.
	You might as well say criticizing Palestinians is anti-Semitic.
	I mean, they are Semitic people.
	But that story we just saw that was going on in the background was there was an anti-Israel rally and the cops showed up and Antifa jumped in front of the car and thought they could stop it.
	It's a cop car, by the way.
	Turn it up.
	Gary Lade, you moron.
	What do you think you're going to do?
	Look, he's really getting his back into it.
	I'm stronger than the car.
	Let's run him over, please.
	Oh.
	Holy shit.
	Look, and then they're running to chase him.
	What the fuck, right?
	Yeah.
	I'm chasing a cop car.
	Now that cop's got balls because he's taking on...
	What do we got?
	Two or three guys taking on a mob of 20, 30.
	Look, there's a chick there.
	She's getting involved.
	A guy in a scooter.
	Like, it's all a silly game to them.
	It's a day out.
	Wait, what was that?
	Antifa means solidarity with Israel?
	No.
	No.
	They certainly are not.
	That's Berlin.
	Yeah, maybe in Berlin, where anything remotely Nazi gets you jail time.
	So that's pathetic.
	We'll abandon Israel for now.
	I don't mean literally.
	I mean as a subject.
	Oh, I found his tweets right around the corner here about the population of Jews in that area.
	In Israel.
	Yeah, in Israel.
	You know, I keep, I sent it to myself from my phone to my email, and my email is so fucking slow.
	It's crazy.
	Well, sometimes.
	Number of Jews in Egypt, 10.
	10.
	Jordan, 0.
	Saudi Arabia, 0.
	Lebanon, 100.
	Out of 7 million.
	Syria, 0.
	Iraq, 4.
	Jesus.
	Iraq.
	What are you guys doing there?
	No, the Christians in northern Iraq getting slaughtered churches blown up.
	They just shoot up the churches.
	Iran, 8,000.
	Number of Arabs in Israel, 1.9 million.
	Holy shit, I didn't really...
	That's a quarter.
	With full civil rights.
	But sure, Israel is the apartheid state.
	See, I'm done arguing with it.
	It's like when I had that dinner with, what are they called?
	Conservative Review, National Review.
	And those are the guys who want the New York Times to like them.
	And so there was a New York Times journalist there, some Jewish chick, who just had her fucking nose in the air the whole time.
	And they were all trying to appease her so badly.
	They knew she was going to write about this, and they wanted a good review in the New York Times so badly.
	We want mainstream acceptance.
	Why?
	The New York Times hates you, National Review.
	They see you as exactly the same as Nick Fuentes.
	And to sit and try to differentiate is a waste of time.
	Fuck them.
	We're done.
	It's an American divorce.
	Anyway, they were talking about Islam.
	I'd had a few drinks.
	And they were talking about ISIS.
	Yeah, that was it.
	And they go, I think what their strategy now is they want to go more south and stay away from Libya and other parts of North Africa and get maybe subsidized.
	I forget what the process was, but they had this whole large World War II Churchillian plan that they had imbued ISIS with.
	And this is their strategy going forth with territory in the Middle East.
	Meanwhile, it's a roving band of retarded pirates who are just killing everything that crosses their path, including stray dogs.
	And I said, can we stop enforcing or imposing some sort of grand plan on a bunch of inbred savages?
	They're inbred.
	They're fucking war mongrels.
	And all eyes went to her.
	Oh, great.
	There we go.
	That guy just blew it for us.
	Give it up.
	Baby, give it up.
	Give it up.
	Baby, give it up.
	Give up making liberals like you.
	They couldn't carry a tune to save their lives.
	We did pretty good.
	They don't want the truth.
	Like, look at those Asians at the beginning of the show.
	It's very easy to see who's beating up old Asian ladies, but no.
	We want to focus on a stupid white kid who's probably 10?
	12?
	Pretty good.
	Banned.
	Speaking of retards, Camu Bell is back at it again.
	Back at it again with the white van.
	Damn Camus!
	You know that meme?
	No.
	Damn Daniel?
	Oh, you damn Daniel.
	Damn, Daniel!
	Back at it again with the white bands.
	Yeah.
	Since Camubell has hosted another documentary praising violent Antifa.
	He says, if you're against them, then you're on the side of Hitler.
	What a, he's just, I'm sorry to use the word dumb because a lot of my friends are dumb and I'm kind of worried I'm dumb.
	But sometimes it's just the answer you're looking for.
	Like that guy in the plane today and Camu Bell, I'd like to see them both do a fifth grade math test.
	Long division.
	He's just a boob.
	And he's noticed that you get money when you pretend that you're a revolutionary and we're living in a fucking clan rally of a country.
	So he did another documentary praising Antifa.
	Bell previously met with the Tacoma, Washington firebombing Antifa member, Willem Van Spronsen, before he was killed.
	Now, let's just go back.
	William Van Spronsen is pitched by the left as a man who wanted to mess with some ICE vehicles, break their wheels or something, so they couldn't pick up illegals and send them back and put children in cages.
	That's the narrative.
	This is the reality.
	He was going there to commit a mass shooting.
	He chose a time when they'd be getting out of their shift.
	That particular place doesn't have guns.
	It's not actual ICE agents.
	So he would have been shooting all of these people who were unarmed.
	And he didn't just have a lot of rounds to shoot a lot of people.
	He had a bunch of propane tanks to do major explosions.
	He was going to commit a mass killing of unknown proportions.
	I'm going to say 50 people.
	He could have killed 50 people, but law enforcement acted fast and took him out.
	Thank God.
	That's not a hero.
	That's a Dylan Roof.
	Willem Van Spronsen.
	He knew he was going to die, too.
	That's not someone who's going to slash a few tires.
	So Camubell was pro-him.
	It literally blew up in his face.
	And just like I said, the reason I say give up on trying to convert these people is, or convert, inform these people, is when all this happens, they're unflappable.
	So you defend a guy who was going to do a mass killing.
	You don't go, oof.
	Time to recalibrate.
	I might be wrong about this.
	Nope.
	Let's do it again.
	So what's the link?
	Let's see the clip.
	Is it a clip?
	Yeah.
	Turn it up.
	Maybe when people are complaining about the sound, they're complaining about the clips.
	Maybe, yeah, this is not a good sound.
	Let's see if it buffers.
	Portland seems like a special snowflake off in the Pacific Northwest.
	Also, it is clear that the problems that Portland, Oregon is experiencing are fundamental to the problems that America is experiencing.
	We are telling them what's best for us, and they respond to the blackness.
	We did this episode of Portland in the first season, and it's great to be able to come back in the sixth season and see how it is changing.
	We're seeing every single black person in Portland, by the way.
	All 13 of them.
	Where you're only getting your idea of Portland from the mainstream news, then you're not really getting a fully developed idea of Portland.
	Even people in Portland are somehow under the impression that the protests are in a bigger area than they're actually in.
	And people who live outside of Portland think the whole city is protesting.
	My father was convinced that Antifa is burning down the city.
	My mother called me last week and asked if protesters were trying to burn down my house.
	I'm like, hold on a second, let me look out the window.
	Nope, they're not out there.
	It's not 100% of Portland that's on fire.
	Right.
	Not every single house has been fucked up and vandalized.
	Just one area.
	Well, a couple of areas and a couple of deaths and a couple of fires.
	And the mainstream media, they're blowing it up.
	No, the opposite is happening, you boob.
	They say it's mostly peaceful.
	There's probably no police shooting black people outside when you look out there, too.
	It's been on the fucking news every single day for over a year.
	Every day.
	Not outside his window.
	What were the riots we had in New York with David Dinkins, the Crown Heights riots, after that Jewish guy, asidic Jew, I think, killed a black kid with his car by accident?
	And there was riots for three days in just in Crown Heights.
	That was known globally as the New York riots.
	That went down in history as the massive, insane New York riots.
	Yes, Williamsburg and Greenpoint and everything else were safe.
	What kind of moronic argument is this that not all of Portland is on fire?
	You know what Dinkins did for those riots?
	Nothing.
	He just did and hoped they stopped.
	Some discourse.
	He was better than de Blasio in that he was just inept and he didn't do anything and the city felt the shit around him.
	De Blasio's a saboteur.
	And de Blasio was David Dinkins' intern when he was young.
	Go back to Camus telling us that Portland's just fine.
	Blue Democratic city and even though Portland is this bright blue Democratic city and quote-unquote progressive, if you're in a room with some white progressives and some black progressives and some indigenous progressives, there are different opinions about how we get to liberation.
	It's wonderful to have white allies, but if those white allies are speaking for black people who have not asked them to do so, then that's problematic.
	Oregon is founded as a place where they stole the land from the Native Americans and then gave white people land for free.
	For free.
	So white people were encouraged to move to Portland, and then they wrote into the founding of the state that black people weren't allowed to be here.
	And when was this perchance?
	Was that last year?
	Or was that a long fucking time ago?
	Was that 100 years ago?
	You know how much of a pussy you look like when you bitch about things from 100 years ago?
	Do you want to know what life was like during the Industrial Revolution for the Irish?
	For the children in coal mines?
	Do you hear me whining about that shit?
	No, because I'm not a pussy retard like you.
	Basically, like a microcosm of how the country was founded.
	I shouldn't be like going out there with pepper spray and a baton and a taser just to keep myself safe.
	In ridiculous lashes.
	Be like going out there with pepper spray and a baton and a taser just to keep myself safe for preaching.my life matters.
	I shouldn't have to do that.
	So Portland's particularly racist because they stole the land from the Indians.
	How does that compare to other places in America?
	I thought this was funny.
	Some Antifa guy suing for being arrested.
	He was trying to kill people with a knife and he got tuned up.
	So he sued.
	I think he won.
	Back in 2017 at a violent Antifa protest in Evergreen College against Brett Weinstein, a pretty moderate dude, one of the Antifa armed with a knife was tackled and handed to police.
	Joseph Robinson sued those who tackled him for $5 million.
	The case was dismissed in federal court last week.
	Oh, so he didn't win, thank God.
	But the arrogance of suing, suing.
	Oh, that's fantastic.
	Isn't Brett like an actual liberal, like straight-up classical liberal too?
	Yeah, he is.
	I think he was the guy that said it's weird to have, that all white people have to leave the campus on a particular time or something, and he got fired for that.
	Yeah, in that clubhouse call where they were like, you're white, your name's Weinstein.
	You see, Weinstein, a lot of this left-wing anti-Semitism is really just anti-white racism.
	Did we ever check what Amy Susskin is?
	And it's ethnomasochism because the people doing it are white and Jewish.
	Is Amy Susskind like pro-Israel, pro-Palestine?
	I don't know.
	Let's not talk about her.
	This is another interesting clip about real estate ad.
	Andy knows Twitter is just an endless source of fun.
	This is an Antifa house you can stay in.
	Creatures Co-op, an Antifa housing collector in Northeast Portland run by Joe Fish, has put up an advertisement for an impromptu room made from recycled doors.
	Rent is $300 a month, and the renter has to be okay with the property also being used as a place for prostitution services.
	That's nice.
	It's a queer collective where these, they're all fucking meth heads, too.
	They're meth heads who suck dicks for money so they can buy more meth, and they think they're being revolutionaries.
	Look at the room you get.
	Keep going?
	There it is.
	What do you think?
	And that's the most flattering.
	Yeah, that's the hot shot.
	It's like they hired a real estate photographer to show off.
	It's like...
	Turn to what are they hiding?
	What sort of horrors?
	Oh, God.
	So you just come home and someone's like jerking off an old man on your bed?
	Yeah, they jizz everywhere?
	They blow somebody for money to get meth, and then they give somebody meth to get blown.
	And then the whole cycle.
	Must be okay with lying on some stranger's jizz.
	Oh, I'm totally okay with that.
	All right, let's get to the mailbag.
	That's enough Antifa for one day.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Oh, this is this dork Will Carliss, who's obsessed with the Proud Boys, because he's obsessed.
	He's the national correspondent at USA Today for extremism and emerging issues.
	So I assume he's covered a lot of these Palestinian groups who proudly beat up Jews.
	I assume he's talking about the Antifa violence against Jews, about the black violence towards black Asian violence.
	I assume he'll be covering that.
	My name is Will Carlos.
	I'm a national correspondent with USA Today.
	I'm writing a story about the Wisconsin chapter of the Proud Boys.
	I was contacted by several current and former members of the group after Enrique Tarreo launched a harassment campaign against me on Telegram.
	You poor thing.
	These men described being attracted to the Proud Boys because of the initial tenets of the group that you founded.
	They agreed with those tenets and wanted to be part of an organization they saw as noble and important.
	All the men I have spoken with describe the Wisconsin Proud Boys chapter as a den of sadistic bullying and cruelty towards prospective members and actual Proud Boys alike.
	They say that the only way to rise up the ranks of the Proud Boys is to display fealty to white supremacy and espouse anti-Semitism.
	They point out that the Wisconsin Proud Boys is overwhelmingly, if not exclusively, white.
	In short, they say it's white supremacist.
	Who are these guys that you've spoken to?
	And what evidence do you have that they're Proud Boys?
	If you would like to comment from my story, you can reach me here on my cell phone, which is my signature.
	I'm curious as to your thoughts about the direction this group is taking.
	What a dork, what a dick, what a loser, what a fag.
	What a bitch, what a dick, what a loser, what a fag.
	Pipeline number five, the musical.
	Funny dude, social political commentary.
	Check him out.
	16,000 views, May 24th.
	Let's jump in like a third of the way in.
	And then on over to Sarnia, Ontario.
	And now they're in a hip-hop scenario.
	A little bit of poppin' lives helps you bring dead fuel for the a little drop to work won't go too far.
	If you haven't gotten gasoline for your car, jump way ahead now.
	Oh, the whole thing is fun.
	Did a good job.
	Yeah.
	It's a full-length fucking barry.
	It's not a half-ass at all.
	And then he's got a talkies.
	In the best province in the world.
	A man from Tough Miles.
	Cultural Technician.
	Quick Tick McDick.
	After processing calves.
	And cows.
	And semen.
	Okay, I brought all my own stuff.
	I got my own tag, my own vaccine gun, my own pillow gun here.
	And what works best on the ranch is if we vaccinate while we semen testibles.
	You concentrate on one more than the other.
	Okay, I'm just here to give you your COVID-19 vaccine today.
	Okay, we're not going to need any of those things.
	I have my own needle and syringe.
	Well, that's embarrassing.
	That's funny.
	It didn't even hurt.
	Next.
	Oh, Avey, we got a long one here.
	Hey, Gavin, I work for a fairly large company that provides online training.
	Been here a little over three years and have watched two things happen.
	One, critical race theory and wokeism being inserted into American companies and being provided as required training at those jobs.
	Two, construction companies selling out for foreign labor.
	Oh, then two, construction companies selling out.
	The woke training is happening and it's being presented in large companies.
	Here's a list of some amazing titles.
	Anti-racism, colorblindness doesn't work.
	In other words, fuck Martin Luther King.
	We knew that was coming.
	The respectful workplace, diversity, inclusion, and equity.
	The respectful workplace, again, turn microaggressions into micro inclusions.
	We also provide quite a bit of OSHA training, blah, blah, blah.
	I feel like we've been sold out by our government.
	Thanks for everything.
	I like Lotus.
	I thought she was going to suck, but now I totally watch all her stuff.
	Yeah, that's why with a lot of these, like The Spiel and Lotus, like I couldn't care less what the comments are because I have long-term plans with those shows, and I know that they are a slow burn.
	Yeah, maybe what's really going on here is big corporations are about to really gut our workforce and get us fired and replace us with foreigners.
	And so they want you to feel racist if you complain.
	So they replace all the workforce with Indians in tech and they import Chinese people to work in factories in the Rust Belt.
	And then you go, what the fuck's with all these Chinese people here?
	I mean, you're firing everyone and replacing them with cheap Chinese labor?
	It's called diversity and inclusion.
	You're making them feel unwelcome.
	Do you want to get canceled?
	And then they go, oh, no.
	And then they go home with their tail between their legs, unemployed.
	Maybe that's what's really going on here.
	And this one is eating the poop all over the place.
	Aren't you embarrassed to be the older, wiser man and not know that this vehicle is a camouflage prototype test model vehicle?
	Manufacturers do this to hide their new models from the competition, engineers and rivals, and from photographers beating the company to the punch.
	Oh.
	I am embarrassed.
	Hey, Gavin, Rye Guy, I work all day and then come home and have dinner with the wife and kids, hang around with them and kick my feet up and listen to my favorite show.
	Then I usually pass out midway through the show.
	My daughter being the south of Boston, smart as she is, you know, that's gay listening to another guy's voice before falling asleep, she said.
	I had no rebuttal because I thought to myself, holy shit, is this gay?
	Is she right?
	That means you're gay.
	Yeah, that's gay.
	But there's nothing wrong with being gay.
	I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
	That means you're gay.
	Let's get to the final video.
	I think this, let's do the pipes one, the first one there, how to fix pipes.
	Because this is fascinating for two levels.
	One, it's my anus after a night of drinking bourbon.
	And two, it's a really intelligent way to fix a pipe.
	So rather than having to dig up the whole foundation and replace a pipe, they put this hungover asshole through it.
	And it fixes it.
	It lines it.
	The things that men do, men create.
	So you just sort of tease it into the hole, right?
	And it's the lining, the blue line that looks like cloth.
	I guess it's some sort of like opaque fiberglass, whatever it is, plasticky stuff.
	Oh, yeah.
	That was me on the plane this morning.
	And then I assume the red stuff comes out.
	The red stuff is just used to move it out.
	But that blue stuff stays in the pipe.
	Isn't that cool?
	So you just lined the pipe.
	Or maybe the red stuff stays in there too.
	He seems to be pushing it in like a prolapsed anus.
	Oh, no, now it's getting sucked back out again.
	And they got a whole new pipe.
	Of course, if there's any T junctions, you can't do this.
	You ruined it.
	Dude, my shit cramps on the plane today.
	So we were late for the flight because, of course, the dude couldn't figure out the GPS and he missed the exit, right?
	Mr. Monkey Feet?
	No, that was...
	I had like 15 Uber drivers.
	I spent $300 on Ubers, including the 211 from Jupiter, Miami.
	That is cheaper than a...
	But it would have been $80 a day, three days, plus a $75 drop-off fee.
	So we rushed to the airport, and I, you know, drunks, we have our one little shit when we first wake up, and then we have the monster of just explosive diarrhea.
	It looks like Jaws' stomach.
	Like there's a license plate in there, a report card from kindergarten, an Asian kid, pen, a little, a weird sort of a fish writhing around, some eels, an old tire.
	It doesn't even smell like shit.
	It smells like barf, lettuce, even though we Haven't had lettuce in three weeks.
	So I'm on the plane, and I'm like, should I just run to the bathroom?
	And I was like, I can't.
	Because I'm a good person, not like all these other travelers.
	And I follow the rules as much as I can.
	So then I got this shit cramp coming.
	And it feels like I'm slowly being stabbed with a spear.
	Jesus Christ, Mr. Your Mayor?
	Yeah, that's what I was like.
	And I had to lift up my arms and go like, somehow, you know, the gym helped because I'm used to pain and suffering through something like lifting a weight.
	So I would go like this, and I knew, and then I had to make sounds like and sort of pump.
	And I was and I was worried I was going to lose it.
	You know, you get to my age and sometimes when you have to piss bad, like two drops will come out totally against your will.
	So I'm going.
	And it comes in waves, just like barfing.
	You know, when you have a barf session and you're done and you go, okay, I'm good now.
	I'm not talking about from booze.
	I'm talking about like food poisoning or something.
	And then about half an hour later, your body's like, I don't think we're good, dude.
	And then you go into denial.
	You're like, no, we're good.
	We're good.
	That was the last barf.
	It's going to be okay.
	And then 45 minutes in, your body goes, dude, I'm starting it up again.
	And you're like, what are you doing?
	Everything's fine.
	We barfed away all the bacteria.
	We're good.
	And then 10 minutes in, you're like in the car headed to the cliff and you're like, we're going to die.
	We're going to fucking die.
	Then you get to the toilet and then, you know, that's like two minutes before the first barf.
	Lena Dunham was asked, what's the worst, what's your least favorite thing?
	And she goes, the two minutes before you barf.
	When you're over the toilet and it's just like, it's impressive that your brain and your body can conjure up such intense suffering.
	You're just like, this is worse than being raped with a sword.
	And then you go, and then you have your Ralphs and your nose, blah, blah, blah.
	And then you're better.
	And it happens, you know, usually with food poisoning, it's usually like five times, five hours, maybe up to 10, 10 times, 10 hours.
	Anyway, so I'm going in those waves.
	And I know that that fucking seatbelt light does not come off for the longest time, taxiing on the runway.
	It's like an hour of a two-hour flight.
	So I'm doing the pumping, doing the pumping.
	And then the third wave was so bad, I was going to faint.
	I broke out in a sweat.
	I could feel like soggy armpits.
	My hands were all goose pimples.
	I was sweating from my forehead, just going, almost dying.
	Eventually I go, sorry.
	I get up, even though we're not at the top, make it into the bathroom.
	A woman by the bathroom was standing waiting for the bathroom with her back to the door.
	Guess what her back was to?
	An unoccupied toilet.
	Oh, come on.
	She was too dumb to figure out that you pull it and you got to pull hard.
	It says unoccupied.
	It says unoccupied is a green thing.
	There's a green thing.
	And she's like, well, that's taken.
	I'll wait for this one.
	Like, dude, it's crazy in Miami.
	It's crazy.
	People have two different shoes on because they got confused at the door.
	And then I went in there, had like a basically, but it was almost the shit.
	When I finally got in there, it was like barfing too.
	It was like blah, blah, blah.
	And then, ah, like an involuntary stomach crunch.
	And then like sort of leaning on the thing.
	I'm starting to think that I can't eat meat.
	I know that doesn't sound very good for our Bubba and Hank steak sponsors, but this Scottish body is only used to like a root and a bit of a goat.
	And I had a fucking enormous T-bone steak the night before.
	Come on, I'm fucking sweating my balls off.
	Oh, is this you saying wrap up the show and put on the AC so we can put on the AC?
	No, that's even the bathroom shitting.
	You're making me miss one of those shits when you get the stomach spasms, like you're going into labor almost or something.
	It was like...
	It's like, what is this?
	You know, like Scotty in Star Trek where he's like, it was like, I was reaching the end of my limit, like what I'm capable of.
	And I've fainted on planes before.
	Did I tell you when I was coming back from New Orleans?
	It was exactly the same feeling, that hot sweat.
	I didn't have to shit, but I was having that hot sweat with the soggy armpits.
	And I was like, I gotta get apple juice or something.
	This is not.
	And I go up to the stewardess, like, ooh, but still kind of human.
	Like, it wasn't as bad as what I just described.
	It just felt very sickly, weak.
	And I was sweating and hot and prickly.
	And my vision was starting to go pin.
	And I just remember her, she had little dreads, like little funky dreads.
	And those little tiny ones, you know what I'm talking about?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And I just remember going and seeing the sort of blue matting that the stewardesses get where they wheel their shit out.
	And I hit that.
	Oh.
	And then I woke up and a doctor was there and they had put a blanket over me and they gave me a little thing of apple juice.
	Dude, it was like Superman's come.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I just had one sip and was like, are there some Olympics I could participate in?
	Can I help you carry your luggage?
	Actually, do you want me to get out of the plane and just carry it on my back?
	Because I'm the strongest superhero on earth.
	But then, so I said, I'm fine, I'm fine.
	I couldn't be finer.
	And I went and sat back down.
	The whole plane, as I walked back, was like this, staring at me.
	Because I guess I said, we have a, is there a doctor in the house?
	I mean, people must have been thinking I was a terrorist or something.
	But after your apple juice, you could walk in there like, oh, shit, we're way over with the time.
	And so I look at the old lady next to me and she touches my arm because we've been talking because I was still kind of buzzed.
	And I said, I have diabetes.
	And she goes, oh, shook blood sugar.
	And I'm like, then we land and they go, can everyone please stay seated?
	We had a sick patient on the flight and we're going to wait for medical staff to arrive at the gate, which could be a while.
	And then he's going to be taken out first and then everyone else can leave.
	So everyone now is staring for totally different reasons.
	Like, you motherfucker.
	Are you kidding me?
	I like him too, but I don't know if I like him that much.
	And I'm 100% in perfect health.
	So I'm sitting there nervous, and then I think, I'm just going to leave.
	Yeah.
	Is that illegal?
	Tackle me.
	Right.
	So I grab my bag and I just start walking to the front, like, and then the steward's like, sir, sir.
	No, no, sir, sir.
	I just went.
	And I barreled through them.
	They're not strong enough to stop me.
	What are they going to do?
	And there's no air marshal.
	And I just sort of went through them like, sir, we can't, sir, sir.
	But also pretending you don't see anything.
	I just kept walking like through the over the ground transportation and out of the airport.
	I mean, thank God they're inefficient and couldn't call the fucking A-team in time.
	And then I guess after I was gone, the reason to wait is gone.
	So everyone else was like, I guess I can go now, right?
	This is you leaving the airport.
	You have to use a red circle to tell you what's going on.
	So yeah, fuck Will Carlos and all these pussies desperately trying to find white supremacy.
	It's so boring.
	It's so boring.
	Let's talk about real stuff, like how everyone in Miami has Down syndrome.
	Anyway, long show.
	I didn't mean it to go this long.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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