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Oct. 5, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
42:55
GOML LIVE #67 | PROUD BOYS FATIGUE

After 24 hours of insisting not racist people are not racist, we abandon the subject and make fun of Hulk Hogan - but not in that order.

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Time Text
I'm from New York!
It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis!
Fight for the rights of every man I am a real American Fly from New York It's Get Off My Ron With Gavin McGinnis When it comes crashing down Then it hurts inside
Once again, I give Vice President Ryan Biden the reins And he shits the bed That was the Ryan's mailbag of intro songs.
He said before the show, I didn't have a song planned.
And he goes, Hey, man, I was listening to that Hulk Hogan song and it's actually really fucking good.
And I thought, you know what?
I've been called a white supremacist for the past 24 hours.
Let's give minorities a chance.
Maybe they do deserve our voice.
Maybe they do deserve just one kick at the bucket.
And he played the shittiest song ever.
The intro was cool and it worked well with the intro stuff.
And then it went into cheesy shitbag 80s cornball shit.
Why are you so corny, dude?
I don't know.
You listen to, like, Christian rock, but it's not Christian rock.
Yeah.
At least Christian rock has Jesus in it, so there's some redeeming quality.
But you listen to, like, GONNA ROCK OUT!
OH YEAH BABY!
ROCK AND ROLL FRIDAY NIGHT!
And you sit there noodling on your gay guitar that fat chicks buy you.
YEAH!
Where do you get this shitty taste in music from?
Your single mom?
She wasn't even that around.
She was almost as bad as your shitty dad.
She was around.
He was around rockin' and rollin' and all sorts of stuff.
You pieced that when you were 14.
No.
Yeah.
She moved, dude.
Yeah, but I could've moved with her, but I was like, hell no, I got my niggas over here.
Yeah, my mom didn't move when I was 14.
I could've moved with her, but I didn't.
She had a job in a town that she had to move to.
Oh, she had a job.
Yeah.
I thought she abandoned you, but she had a job and you could've gone.
She moved to her apartment.
I mean, I visit her a lot, but her apartment's all small and I...
I'm going to hang out with my mom.
Yeah, you didn't visit her a lot.
Yes, I did.
How often?
Pretty often.
I got to know the neighbors.
How often?
Do you know how weeks work?
Not every other weekend, but at least once a month.
Then I would stay there overnight.
Whoa, once a month?
Dude, that's how much you visit your parents when you're married with kids and they live nearby.
Yeah, but then I was also in a band during that, during some of that time.
So this is how Ryan talks.
It's just constant shitty, terrible excuse after shitty, terrible excuse.
I mean, she doesn't want to ban him, but she's up my ass.
She's always trying to message and call me.
And now that she doesn't have to fucking deal with anything cause you're independent.
Um, so what, is there a video for that terrible song?
What's it from?
Uh, it's Hulk Hogan's entrance music.
Well, the first eight seconds of it are not bad.
It's badass, man.
It's like really patriotic.
No, you suck so much shit.
I was actually happy that you weren't recommending Gloria Estefan.
That's cool.
I like this.
Now it sounds like the intro to a 80s kids show.
Like Arthur.
Wait, the bridge is really good.
The pre-chorus?
Here it comes.
Ah, you know how many people love this song?
You're hurting them.
Yeah, everyone who likes this song is sad.
I don't hate you, I want to hold you and maybe feed you some beans or something.
You're like Gary.
If you like this song, you're Gary's mailbag.
Oh, man.
Ouch.
Now you're mesmerized.
I'm so limp-wristed and weak.
Cocaine made way too many people try rock and roll in the 80s, and they did not deserve to be there.
One of my closest friends, the guy who teaches my kids boxing, is a hulkamaniac, huge wrestler, with Star Wars tattoos.
Flip-flops and shorts, too.
I've seen him wear shorts.
Flip-flops, yep.
Slides.
Yep.
Another good friend of mine.
Everyone at the gym, I'd love to make fun of these dupes who go to the fucking lottery and get those dumb scratch-offs.
Scratch-offs fill the boxing gym.
They're the banana peels of boxing.
Constantly.
You just distracted me by looking at articles about me.
I understand.
And then I go, alright, maybe it's a boxing thing.
Then I go to my dive bar in the city.
Relax.
Every fucking person at this dive bar has that stupid piece of paper that's like...
This big?
Do you know these?
Yeah.
Pink.
And they're filling it out, filling it out, and they're putting it in the thing.
I'm not talking about someone with Down syndrome.
I'm talking about the guy you're talking to who knows taxes and he's like, could I get another one of those?
Yeah.
And then they'll sit and watch the board, which is just a bingo grid of numbers with like a 54 exploding and then shrinking and an 11 and he'll go, ah, now I get 54 11 now that I don't have a card.
I'm just like, it's a scam, dude.
Star Wars is a kid's movie.
Wrestling's fake.
Can't I make fun of anything without insulting the people around me?
So you go, well, maybe you hang around too many blue collars.
I can't hang out with pussies.
They're so boring.
They're so weak.
People who don't fight.
At my gym, if you haven't been sparring for a week, people look at you weird, like you fucked a kid.
Like you have to kind of lurk around and hide.
And if you ever were assigned sparring and you gave it up, well, now you gotta go.
And then you hang out with middle class people and they haven't been in a fight in their life.
Not that fighting is everything, but it does solve everything.
I've been talking to journalists all day, by the way.
And the reason we did two episodes, because I didn't want to overwhelm you with Proud Boys shit tonight, especially because we have to do reading.
In fact, I've missed our first read.
So we did two today, none tomorrow.
But, like, I'm talking to these guys, and not only have they never been in a fight, they haven't lived.
Like, I talked to this guy from Reuters.
I should look up his name.
And we're talking, and he's, they're always trying to be diplomatic, right?
We're just trying to get both sides.
And I go, dude, I ask Alexa in the morning what's up, and she tells me Reuters first, and AP, and it's all fucking Trump, Trump, Trump.
And I go, you guys are so obsessed with these Nazis, these 18 guys.
Meanwhile, and you're saying, they could get violent.
They could burn shit down on election night because Trump said they're his army.
You're like, what about the burning down going on right there?
There's flames going on.
Look at them.
They're in someone's house.
And New York Times, Reuters, they're all like, well, no, I mean, that's not that bad.
And I go, I go, what are these groups?
And they go, these groups are dangerous.
They're calling for the death of millions of people.
I go, they're like albino skateboarders.
They go, no, they're not.
They're calling for the death of millions of people.
I go, okay.
They're like Satanists.
Imagine being as obsessed with Satanists.
They worship the devil.
They want to kill children.
Yes, that's true.
That's true.
And I'll bet you there are.
That's true.
I'll bet you there are 300, like, real deal bonafide Satanists in America who paint shit on the ground and they kill a fucking goat and they sit there going, Okay.
Do they hurt you?
Simbrati, misbrati.
Okay.
Do they hurt you?
So bonafide actual Nazis that we hear about every day, and it's a front page of every newspaper in the country.
Proud Boys are them.
They're not them.
But them aren't a thing.
They're Satanists.
You're scared of Satanists, you fucking pussy.
Can you imagine being scared of Satanists?
Can you imagine being scared of Richard Spencer?
I'm not saying he's not a... He's probably a good fighter.
The guy, when I knew him, he would do incredible workouts.
I knew him when he was normal.
He used to be a very normal guy.
Just a normal conservative dude.
He was editor of Tacky Mag when I was at Vice.
He's a Donald Trump supporter!
Now we're all Nazis.
He's actually not a Donald Trump supporter.
He's a Biden supporter, correct?
Yeah.
Nazis don't like Trump.
Okay, sorry.
Book of the day today, Steve Martin, incredible writer.
He wrote this article that was in the New Yorker or something about his dad on his deathbed and how his dad has always bullied him and made fun of him and was embarrassed of him because he was such a goof.
And on his deathbed, his dad revealed, I always wanted to be in showbiz and I was jealous of you and I was worried you're going to embarrass me and so I would not look at your stuff.
And then I slowly realized that, um, I was just jealous and you made me realize that I chickened out because you were so brave and you were such a goofball and I was scared of being laughed at and there you were trying to get laughed at.
So I fucked up.
I fucked up our relationship.
I'm sorry.
Dude, I was bawling.
I don't think, there's probably like three articles in my life I've read where I cried.
And then as far as laughing out loud, Confederacy of Dunces did it.
This book, I think might be the only time I laughed out loud.
When he is organizing a protest at the factory he works at, where he's worked for maybe two days, and he's made signs for all the other workers, and the workers, before they grab the signs, they can tell that he made them with his own sheets and there's jizz stains on them.
And I was on the train laughing aloud to this.
I don't think it's happened before or since.
But, um, I just, sometimes I love books that are not by writers, because they come at it with such a fresh stance.
Another example of this was Ralph Steadman's artist, Hunter, I mean, Hunter Thompson's artist, Ralph Steadman, where he writes about his times with Hunter Thompson.
I loved this book.
He's a Welshman, I think.
What does he say here?
Writers have a compulsion to tell all eventually, particularly journalistic ones, whose only real reason for being a journalist anyway is to blast out the secrets they are entrusted with off the record and surprise the world or their editors.
I wrote in the book, guilty as charged.
But I sent that book to Max in prison and he goes, wow, stick to drawing, Ralph.
That guy sucks.
What?
You know, this is the problem with art.
You assume that everyone else is gonna love it, and you play some bullshit Hulk Hogan 80s rock, and you get berated by your boss for not being a fag or anything, just being a low-quality human being.
Fag-adjacent.
Like a cricket.
If a man was a cricket, he'd be Ryan.
Like I don't.
Say that I say I'm a cricket.
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That is our first read, 12 minutes late.
You know what's funny about the news?
Shit happens, right?
I won't say 9-11, but shit happens like the Trump thing.
During a pile of monkeys screaming, monkeys being Chris Wallace and Joe Biden, and a bunch of smoke going off, they started screaming, white supremacist, white supremacist, disavow at Trump, and started flashing lights in his face.
And he said, what?
Who?
What?
And then he said, stand down, stand by, what?
And that became a mantra for Proud Boys and the right and it also became a mantra for the left to say he's planning a civil war if he loses, I think.
It was this sort of subtext.
Now, I saw all my friends laughing and I honestly, I'm very vain.
So when presidential candidates are talking about my club that I started, My ego gets involved and I could not sleep last night.
I was chugging, see how much whiskey we chugged last night?
Right?
Yeah, it felt bad in the morning.
I couldn't sleep even after all that whiskey that we chugged.
Yeah.
And we were chugging every time Biden laughed and all kinds of things.
And we chugged tons of whiskey.
When we, after we kept drinking the whiskey, I felt drunk basically.
Yeah.
Why don't you look in the camera.
Sure.
And talk about the whiskey that we chugged.
Well, it was, um... It didn't taste very good.
So you don't like whiskey?
I like whiskey.
Oh.
No, but this particular... Maker's Mark is sweet.
The batches are consistent.
They come in vats probably bigger than this studio.
And so it's all the same... You're not gonna have a bad batch.
It's all the same recipe?
Yes.
Well, it was very strong.
I had a very strong reaction to it.
We're lying.
I did something last night that I'm not proud of.
Oh no.
I said something that is not indicative of how I feel and it's not how this network feels and I apologize.
I feel like I've let down our viewers and I want to know if I've hurt you then I deeply regret that.
Censored.tv does not advocate dishonesty and lying and I lied.
Did you get called out?
No, but you're allowed to lie as long as you say you're lying.
Yeah, I kind of like that.
So this is, my sin is wiped.
Here's what happened.
I knew we were going to do a drinking game and I know I suck at drinking lots of whiskey.
I mean, I don't mind it at my home.
I fall asleep in my Eames chair and piss myself.
Who does that hurt?
My wallet and my iPhone.
I'm on my fourth iPhone.
Um, but at the studio, you guys are paying money.
I, we're watching a debate.
I don't want to just be going like, these guys are shitheads, man.
Fuck it.
But we're talking about chugging for everything.
So I obviously have plenty of empty whiskey bottles in my home.
I went to the recycling.
I took one out and I poured my daughter, beautiful girl, wonderful angel.
She's like, I would like to try hot apple cider.
Isn't that a thing?
Yeah, it's a thing.
I want to do that.
I want to have like, I've done my schoolwork.
I'm done with, my dad takes my screens away.
I have that time at the end of the night and I just want to have some hot apple cider, pontificate.
And I was like, fuck that bitch.
So I took the apple cider and I poured it into the whiskey bottle, the empty whiskey bottle.
And then I was looking at it and I'm like, that's fucking yellow.
So what do you do?
I actually had two whiskey bottles, because I thought we were both going to chug them.
And I thought, A, we won't be wasted, and B, it'll be funny.
Because what's his name from Van Halen used to do that?
Oh, the bassist.
The bassist.
He would drink Jack Daniels of apple juice.
What are you doing?
I'm asking Siri.
Ask computer shit for brains.
Computer, who is the bassist of Van Halen?
Steve Buscemi.
Van Halen's bassists are Eddie Van Halen, Wolfgang Van Halen, and Michael Anthony.
Michael Anthony.
It was Michael Anthony.
So, um, I think his son is playing with them now.
But anyway.
Yeah, Wolfgang.
That's a guitar I have.
I just bought that guitar.
It's a cool name.
Wolfgang.
It's pretty dope.
I remember when I was about seven, six or seven, with Mike Reed and Lee Gratton and Darren Alberti at Bell's Corners Public School.
They go, let's start a gang.
This wasn't a joke.
Actually, it was Proud Boys.
Let's start a gang and we will fight crime at Bell's Corners Public School.
So say we see a girl getting, we didn't know the word raped, but like attacked, we'll go and save them.
And I was like, this is my idea.
Okay, we're in.
Enough playing with Smurfs.
That's gay.
Let's start saving the world.
And Mike Reed and I were both sort of the leaders, and we go, what should the name be?
And I go, Wolfgang.
But it's two words.
Wolfgang.
Oh, that could have been our thing.
We howl.
Yeah, you didn't howl?
Dude, it gets worse.
They go, nah.
And Mike Reed goes, what about the Falcons?
Falcons?
What, do they eat carcasses at the side of the road?
That's pathetic.
What does a Falcon do?
Chase mice like a loser?
Yeah.
No.
And everyone goes, that's a better name.
Hey, Darren Alberti, Lee Gratton, Mike Reed, Even Craig Fraser, who was in the gang for like an afternoon, but you're still guilty.
Fuck you.
For killing Wolfgang and choosing the Falcons.
Whack.
What is a falcon?
I'm not even nuts about the bald eagle.
It looks kinda cool, I'll admit.
But doesn't it eat carcasses?
Isn't it a scavenger?
A hawk, we could argue.
Hey, it's the fastest creature alive.
Alright.
Sure.
But don't you eat your own kind?
You're a cannibal.
But a falcon, what are you looking up?
Falcon doesn't even make a sound.
We got the falcon punch.
Yeah, don't look at falcons.
Falcon sound effect?
Wouldn't you be looking up falcon call?
That sounds terrible.
What does a falcon eat?
Oh, stop, stop.
Computer, what does a falcon eat?
It's going to be lame.
Here's what I found on reference.com.
One of the most common falcon species, the peregrine falcon, eats mainly other birds such as ducks, gulls, pigeons, cranes, ptarmigans, swifts, and many types of songbirds.
Thanks for stabbing me in the back, fellow bird.
Computer stop.
Eat prey such as mice.
You know what a wolf eats?
You.
You when you turn around, motherfucker.
That's cool.
Wolfgang.
Now, when we started the Proud Boys, you can't call yourselves wolf.
People would say, why are you calling yourselves boys?
That's not cool.
Oh, what should we call ourselves then?
The Lightning Tigers?
Are you seven?
The coolest names for gangs, clubs, whatever, don't get caught in the syntax, are Mr. X, the Crybabies, the Mama's Boys.
Who should you be more scared of if you heard they wanted to kill you?
The Lightning Tigers, the Crybabies, or the Mama's Boys?
Of those last two gangs, you need to change your identity and move.
The Lightning Tigers?
Say, okay, I'll meet you.
Can I just say one request?
Can I fight you one at a time?
Because I'm worried about some of you like kicking me in the back of the head when I'm dealing with the one guy.
But if that's a deal breaker, I'm still in.
Lightning Tigers.
Antifa are the Lightning Tigers.
When somebody's named little something, they're usually not very little.
That's scary.
Like little Kevin over here.
Tiny Tetsuse.
I bet he's not tiny.
Oh yeah, exactly.
My nickname was Tiny Dick after someone saw it at a party.
Isn't it cool that a reader wrote in and said, yeah, dude, I saw a movie with Matthew McConaughey and he was saying that.
Weird.
So he took a script from a movie he's in.
Hello, I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger and I'll be back.
Actually, he did do that all the time.
Yes, he did.
But he was kidding.
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You should do the same.
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Big tech companies censor what you're reading, searching, and they're watching everything you click.
I was going to go off on a tangent about porn and plotting to kill your wife, but I was specifically instructed to read this verbatim.
And that would have obviously been humorous.
Now I have to explain jokes.
And my pet peeve my whole life has always been the term, just kidding.
Yeah, that was supposed to be a joke, right?
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Call to action.
I'm not supposed to read that part.
Now say this, Gavin.
Dot, dot, dot.
Oh, also, please don't read, now say this, Gavin.
Wait, you're doing that, aren't you?
Jesus H fucking Christ.
How explicit do I have to make things?
When the text is in red, you don't read it.
When it's in black, you read it.
Wait, are you still reading this?
Oh my God, I quit.
Fuck you.
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In real time, I believe.
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A lot of people in America pronounce it data.
In Canada and Britain we pronounce it data and it was initially used by aristocrats to mean goodbye.
But over time the people you were talking to noticed patterns and he leaves at 10 p.m.
and that was seen as data information.
He always does Irish goodbyes, he doesn't pay his bill, and you would learn about a person by how he did his d'etat.
Over time, the goodbye became knowing people's patterns, knowing their lifestyles, and that became data.
And then, most recently, it became a guy who's oddly sort of peach vagina colored from a Star Trek show where he would just cover his entire body in foundation and be a smart annoying guy who had trouble understanding both humor and love.
It's Mark Zuckerberg.
Mark Zuckerberg.
Has anyone ever diddled their bean to Mark Zuckerberg?
I would say no.
I mean, we live in a world of seven billion.
Women love money.
They love power.
He's got plenty of both.
They do like that.
Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.
One of the oldest symbols is a boner, dude.
All right, so in today's double episode, we have plenty of Proud Boys, but of course it keeps piling in.
And I'm just going to briefly touch on it because we've really done it to death today.
But I thought this was interesting.
So I talked to the New York Times at noon today.
This is out now.
So they really just barfed this out.
And that's maybe why they have three people doing it.
So it's a Muslim who is into cybersecurity.
And Muslims are only 1% of the population, but they're like 60% of the nation's discourse.
So she gets a lot of work.
And basically her take is these guys are Islamophobic.
And she just puts that paragraph in and like, thanks Muslim.
Now we're diverse.
Bye.
And then there's Alan Froyer in the middle who's been pretty decent to us over the years.
Mike Baker, holy shit, that's the guy that Trump retweeted.
Oh yeah.
With the little kid picture who's the dad.
And then... Go back.
And then Neil McFarquhar.
Isn't Farquhar a Shrek villain?
So he's an experienced journalist, I can't really make fun of him.
The guy's grizzled leather face has been doing this forever.
Alan Froyer, I think his heart's in the right place but he lets a lot of bullshit go by because he's not exactly an alpha male.
But at least he's trying to do a good job.
Mike Baker's a useless piece of shit and Shira Frankel is a fraud.
So I'm reading this article and, oh I meant to say this earlier, sorry.
When an event happens like what happened with Trump last night, I wake up and I have a view of it, and then you start getting more and more information, and you start coming up with a different concept, and then you really have it ironed out by 9.30.
At which point, all the articles are done.
And here's the other thing I'm learning about these journos.
When I was at Vice, I would wake up at around 11.
Nothing happens before 11.
And I didn't have kids, which is ideal if you're a journalist.
And then I would, you know, do my work, blah, blah, blah.
And then I'd go out at night, and I found a guy at Max Fish in probably 2002 who bought a dirty bomb.
That's a nuclear bomb.
I met him at 3 a.m.
You fucking pussies at ABC, CBS News, NBC, Reuters, AP, New York Times, the ones I've been talking to for the past 24 hours.
If I don't get you before dinner, you're like, yes, let's talk tomorrow.
Dude, you're not a photographer.
You're a journalist.
If the night owl wants to talk at 11, say excuse me to your husband and kids and pick up the fucking phone, you losers.
And I said as much.
I wonder if they got back to me.
Because I know, like everyone is very cool and open-minded, and I know I'm talking to the enemy.
I know they're gonna frame this, find the 10 things I hate about the Jews thing, pretend they've seen it, and you know, what they do is they have these caveats where they put in, they put in like, he is suing the SPLC and he denies white nationalism, so then they can do it.
But yeah, one of them got back to me.
Texted you on your phone text me still having issues on my street.
Oh, okay.
That's good.
So Santina Lucci at ABC News is Doing her job as late as 9 p.m That's pretty good but like This guy Shannon Joel Joel Shannon You know, I hate when their email address comes in his last name comma first name.
I I said to him, if you want to get serious about journalism, you need to be available 24 seven.
Cause he said, thanks, Gavin.
When you have time to talk tomorrow, this is at 8, 11 PM.
Would you have time to talk tomorrow?
I'm watching, uh, the boys on Amazon right now.
I've passed along your info to some people here in case anyone needs to get in touch tonight.
You fucking useless pussy.
You're a fireman.
If you're a journalist, stories don't work on your schedule.
They work on their own schedule.
Anyway, I said if I was just feeling jaded after talking to these shitheads all day, and I only did six.
Enrique did probably 25.
And the funny thing about it is, as you talk to all these people and they ask these pressing questions, and you're playing chess too, because it's not just Ryan saying, where'd you get that drink?
It's someone who's pretending to be on your side, but is trying to fuck you.
So you have to constantly think about how what you're saying can be interpreted.
For example, I was talking to Alan Foyer, the New York Times guy, and I said, I could tell he was leaning towards the peaceful protest side.
You also have to read your opponent like you're in the FBI.
And he was like, yeah, well, you know, a lot of these buildings and I go, oh, the insurance pays for it.
I go, I know where you're going with this.
You're one of these peaceful protest fuckers.
Look, dude, I said, if you looked at World War II and you mapped the entire area it covered and the 24 hours a day of each area, you'd find a very peaceful time.
Leon in France on Friday 1942, September 23rd.
Nothing happened that entire day.
In fact, most of France saw no bombings.
So yes, World War II would come across as predominantly peaceful.
But it wasn't.
And he goes, oh, come on, there was no Dresden, which is also a trick.
Instead of saying the Holocaust, you say when Germans were killed in Dresden.
It's another little shuffle, right?
And then I realized, oh, wait a minute, he's going to compare these riots to World War II.
So then I have to say, dude, dude, and this is a guy who's kind of on my side.
He's at least fair.
I go, dude, dude, dude, don't go saying that I'm saying that the Portland riots are the same as World War II.
My analogy was hyperbolic.
I was saying, don't talk about mostly peaceful.
You could take the worst thing in history and it would still come across as peaceful.
That was my point.
So anyway, it's exhausting playing these games.
But the funny thing is, after they keep talking to you, you start sort of reexamining it and you start kind of figuring it out better than them.
And by the time like 24 hours of discussing it has gone by, like imagine you discussed Not abortion, but like the big bang for 24 hours.
By the end your fucking opinions on it are going to be honed.
At that point the news cycle is done and they just want to, sorry you're a Nazi, fuck off, I'm done.
So here's what I originally thought.
Donald Trump knows the Proud Boys, think we rock, He said, Biden said, disavow all white supremacists.
He said, I do.
He said, then Biden said, what about proud boys?
And he goes, no, I'm not disavowing them.
Stand by guys.
If shit goes down, we're going to rock.
And I thought, thanks dude.
Now, after a hundred hours of interviews, I don't think that's what happened.
I'm sorry.
He's probably heard of the Proud Boys today.
He said, I don't know who the Proud Boys are.
I think he meant kind of like what I might say if they said, hey, did you know that Proud Boys in Seattle are raping kids?
I go, what?
I didn't hear about that.
Look, I don't know what every single one of them is doing at all times.
You know, they started an offshoot called the Margarita Boys.
I didn't know shit about that.
Until it happened, and they had a whole mantra.
It's like almost a parody of the Proud Boys.
And they have these sayings that are like Proud Boys sayings, but are about margaritas.
And I've been to a couple margarita parties, margarita boys parties at WestFest.
They don't seem to like me very much.
So... No, just the one guy.
No, there was another fight the previous year where he was mad at me for stepping down.
There's only going to be one.
So I think Trump might have been saying, look, I'm not a Proud Boys expert.
I think that's kind of what he was saying today.
So here's what I now think happened.
I think that they said white supremacists, like imagine monkeys in smoke, white supremacists, white supremacists.
What?
What?
No, I don't like him.
I don't like them.
It's like a nightmare.
A Chris Wallace, Joe Biden nightmare.
Get away.
I don't like him.
I don't like him.
Okay.
Name them.
Name them.
Okay.
Okay.
I disavow.
Stand back.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Stand down.
Okay.
What about names?
What about Proud Boys?
Okay.
Is that the name?
Proud Boys?
Stand down.
Stand down.
Stand by.
Stand by.
He didn't mean to say that.
He meant to say stand down any group.
I don't know the groups.
David Duke.
Stand down.
Nazis.
KKK.
Stand down.
Proud Boys.
I don't know who they are.
Stand down.
I agree with you.
But Antifa is the problem.
That's what I think happened.
Now, the interpretation from Chelsea Handler types is, he said he has an army, he told them to stand by, and they're Nazis, and if Biden wins, they're gonna kill us all.
What?
Really?
Is that gonna be worse than four months of burning your city down?
Like, you're so scared of a mythical potential problem, that when there's a fire in your face, you're like, that's... Politically, I align with that fire in my face.
Although, how many cases did we discover where people said, fucking burn it down!
And then the next tweet was, they burned my neighborhood down.
There was the guy in the gated community who said that, black aristocrat, academic.
There was the newspaper editor who said that.
There was the woman with the Black Lives Matter signs in her window.
There was like, there was several.
And those are just the famous people.
You could have an aneurysm on a toilet!
You never know.
Not only do I love him, he makes me love correctional officers.
You wanna watch it one more time?
I boxed one today.
No, I didn't.
I boxed with one.
You could have an aneurysm on a toilet!
You never know!
We have footage of that, what you apologized for, by the way.
Despite the impeachment hoax, and you saw what happened today with Hillary Clinton, where it was a whole big con job, but despite going through all of these things, where I had to fight both flanks and behind me and above, there has never been an administration Skip to the drinking part.
Okay, here it is.
They were calling me for the first time in years.
They were calling, and they were saying, it's time maybe, and then what happened?
We got hit, but now we're building it back up again.
A rebuilding of the military, including Space Force and all of the other things.
Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop, pause.
Let me go get a bottle of Akers.
As you can see the difference?
Yeah.
A fixie.
It's pretty close, dude.
I mean, that's so much darker and clearer.
With all the differences in color and stuff.
Yeah.
I mean, nobody wrote in about it at all.
Yeah, I assumed they would.
Me too.
Nothing.
And then it was hard to not laugh.
Well, I can't believe we didn't finish that story.
So wait a minute, we have too many untied loose ends here.
So now I think that, yeah, he was just sort of saying that.
We took it as, holy shit he loves, I admit that last night I thought, holy shit he loves us, and he was saying they're not white supremacists, they rock.
Proud Boys in general, Enrique, Joe Biggs, they took it, I think they got that it could have just been a random typo, a miss, a spook, as Donald Trump Jr.
would say.
But they thought, like with this and Pepe and everything, let's have fun with it.
Let's pretend that we are ready.
It's a call to arms.
See, that's the problem with everyone I spoke to today and the left in general.
It hasn't occurred to them that there's a sense of humor to this.
There's an irony.
There's a sarcasm.
They have beat-ins where, like MS-13, they beat their whatever's, their, what do you call them in Hell's Angels when they're starting out?
Prospects.
They beat their prospects.
No, dude, we play the game safety slug, which I played in high school, where if you fart or burp and don't say safety and someone says slug, they get to beat the shit out of you till you can name five breakfast cereals.
That's the origin of that deep, dark, sinister tradition.
Write that down, Ryan, as a potential hot clip.
That was pretty cool.
Um, So now I believe it was a Trump typo.
Odds are pretty high, like 68, no sorry, 78%.
no, sorry, 78%.
Odds are 22% that he meant what I thought he meant.
I would say the Proud Boys joking about it are 88%, oops, having fun and joking around.
And they know it's not, hey guys, when you get this bad signal, it's time to kill everyone.
But the left has taken this hook, line, and sinker.
And I think the same way the Proud Boys joke about how, yeah, yeah, we're going to kill everyone on election day, I think the left is also Not so much joking, they don't joke anymore, but knowingly saying something that's not true because it helps their agenda.
And to finish the Maker's Mark story.
So I put the apple cider and it looked too yellow.
And then I got this dumb idea.
If I pour orange juice in it, it will get less yellow because yellow plus yellow equals brownish.
Brown.
Nope.
Always laughing again.
Back to the whiskey.
Every year I get the call, California's burning.
So then I thought, I got to brown this up.
So I actually had two bottles and I told my wife, I need to find, I can't find the fucking food coloring.
She showed it to me.
I thought green, that's dark.
So I put four drops in one bottle.
It just went bright green.
St.
Patty's day green.
So that's in the fridge now.
Oh really?
Yeah.
I'm saying to my daughter, look, I realize this isn't the greatest sell.
It's a whiskey bottle.
It's bright green.
That is basically with a little bit of orange juice.
Yeah.
It's basically the cider you want.
Hit that up.
It'll be delicious.
It doesn't look good.
And the bottle doesn't look good.
The bottle looks like alcohol.
I was like, if we get pulled over, this is going to be just great.
Yeah, we can be like, what's the problem officer?
Yeah, go, go, go, go, go.
And then, uh, so then I put maple syrup in it and shook it up.
That was the grossest part.
And I went, this is working.
So then I put more maple syrup in it.
So what we were eating last night was apple cider, orange juice, and tons of maple syrup.
And it was so gross, which is why I loved giving it to Ryan every time we had to drink.
Dude, I went to bed on... maybe that's why I couldn't sleep.
It wasn't Trump mentioning Browboy Sugar.
It was because I was like Santa Claus with fucking sugar.
Yeah, I felt like I'm not supposed to eat that much sugar or drink that much sugar.
I felt like unwell.
According to whom?
Just me.
I might be diabetic.
I don't know.
But I was like, I'm gonna like pass out.
You liked it.
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No, it's not a band on YouTube.
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And are we still putting up the audio podcast?
Yes.
You paused there like you forgot about.
Um, no, no, no.
There was a discrepancy with two episodes that we didn't do from studio.
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I would say 90% of our income, no 98% of our income is from subs and 2% is from ads.
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All right, we've got some funny stuff to talk about.
I think there's gonna be still a little bit more Proud Boy stuff.
Sorry, it's the number one trending topic in the world.
Forgive me if I dwell on it just a tiny bit longer.
And then we will start taking calls.
I pray that the calls don't ask us if we heard the part in the debates when Trump said, actually you're on number two.
If you're planning to wait on hold and tell us that, I'm going to get your number.
I have the thing where you can trace the number back and I'm going to come to your house and kill all of your family and your friends, but not you.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
Now that's how guys talk.
I'm just gonna break your legs.
So as you recover from your broken legs, you'll have to deal with, you know, the deaths of everyone around you.
And you'll be left saying, I want to be a woman.
Why do you have that?
That should just be toad.
Dinesh should be pure toad.
What if I were to say I want to be a toad?
I love it.
It's like Marcus Epstein saying, Licko, why are you continually using a word that is your least good word?
It's the best one.
It's like me and a Bonama bowl.
I feel like I'm a toad.
Drop it from your vocabulary.
There's crazy dead athletes who's a toad.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
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