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Sept. 10, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:25:18

GOML LIVE #64 - NO MASK

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	I was set up, I was set up, dancing you're not supposed to get set up.
	I was set up, I was set up, dancing you're not supposed to get set up.
	Live from New York, it's you.
	Get off my lawn with Kevin McGuinness.
	I was set up, I was set up, dancing you're not supposed to get set up.
	How much do they hate Nancy Paluska?
	It's the big crazy Nancy.
	She's like the big historian, highly overrated person.
	Look at your sister.
	They just turned off the camera because they don't want me singing.
	And the salon.
	What can't Trump do?
	Now he raps.
	I can't rap.
	Let me try.
	Rap, rap, rappity rap.
	Wait, you got it.
	You want a beep?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	It's not going to go well, folks.
	It's freestyling.
	Okay.
	Here we go.
	Yo, what's up?
	Let's get real.
	This is to the dawn.
	We're sitting around the studio watching get off my lawn.
	No, we ain't watching it.
	We're doing it.
	This is the shit.
	We're live, motherfucker.
	I should have done the background hype things where they go.
	And they go, I want to start doing that Cardi B thing.
	Yeah.
	How does she do it?
	We have a lot of stuff before we start the show.
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	Pull up that dude who does a better Trump than you.
	We got a podium now.
	Oh, that's the podium.
	Welcome.
	Misunderstanding.
	Trump was unable to be here for the inauguration.
	I'm going to reel him in.
	I'm going to...
	What's the word?
	Sorry, I'm already fucking up this inauguration.
	This is off the cuff.
	I did a bump in the hallway just before I got here.
	Thought I'd be watching it, not doing it, but I'm doing it.
	I'm a little jittery.
	I want to say, we're finally going to start on that fucking wall.
	Sorry, my friend Don is.
	Sorry this took so long.
	The wall's coming.
	War on drugs is over.
	That was stupid.
	Border's getting shut down.
	Guess what else?
	Welfare.
	Now relax, ghetto.
	We're not going to just strip it tomorrow.
	We're going to slowly institute a program of volunteerism.
	You get your welfare if you volunteer.
	Plenty of jobs picking up garbage by the highway.
	But you got to do something.
	No more sitting on your ass for free.
	And here's an idea for the black community in BLM.
	How about more fathers?
	No more incentivizing single mothers.
	We're done shattering the black family.
	Lots of dads.
	Bringing the black family back.
	Beautiful dads.
	Tons of dads.
	Beautiful black dads.
	Wonderful families.
	Well, Sleepy Joe is a total disgrace.
	And frankly, the only reason why he came out of his basement was because it was flooded.
	And even then, he couldn't make his way out of his basement.
	He's got the nose like evil bulbs.
	And he gave a speech the other day, and it was horrible.
	Nobody showed up.
	He had about six people.
	Five were like his doctors.
	If one was his wife, that was his wife.
	Crazy.
	And he's a doctor.
	He's a good look, right?
	I mean, it's sad.
	He's got about as much energy as a windmill.
	That's perfect.
	It hurts my feelings to watch that.
	If I worked in the CIA, that guy would be in the White House.
	Yeah.
	And we just say, look, don't get sick.
	Don't drink yourself till you're shit faced, but you can drink whatever you want.
	Free food.
	Here's some books and magazines.
	On the one in a million chance the president is kidnapped or there's some sort of problem with his throat, we're going to need you to do a press conference and tell America that everyone is fine.
	See, I'm a big, I'm not into fair.
	I like like Kissingerian politics.
	I want despots to disappear in the middle of the night.
	Like when Mugabe was around, I always said, and I pissed off Penny Rimbaud from Crass with this.
	I'm like, let's go get him in the middle of the night.
	What are we waiting for?
	Don't tell the American public.
	But fucking...
	Why do we have despots?
	Like, why did we have EDM in and all this?
	We fight all these big, stupid wars to get rid of the entire snake.
	Just chop its head off.
	Get rid of it.
	And Penny goes, so why would you want to kill Mugabe?
	I said, no, I'm not going to bother killing him.
	I got a family and stuff.
	But I feel like it'd be really fucking easy to kill him.
	You just, here's what you do.
	You go to Zimbabwe and you're doing a feature film on Mugabe.
	He's a megalomaniac, right?
	And they see a white, rich American's coming across.
	They see your history.
	They'd see my history, right?
	Oh, you worked in media for a long time.
	And then, very simple.
	You leave him a laptop as a gift.
	Top of state-of-the-art MacBook Pro.
	Get back on the plane.
	Detonate.
	Boom.
	It is a disaster.
	Or the guy was like four feet tall.
	Just you say, like, he killed millions of people.
	Well, not millions, thousands of people.
	That's brothers, mothers, sisters.
	If he killed my mother, I just go in there: hey, Mr. Mugabe, I'd like to work for you as a security.
	I remember one of the best lines I ever read in my life was this African journalist who said that Mugabe ate the poo-poo.
	No, this African journalist who was saying he wears 14-karat gold eyeglass frames, though it's not clear if he's wearing the glasses or the glasses are wearing him.
	Look at those things.
	Wow, those are loud.
	Thick gold glasses and a fucking Hitler mustache.
	He's my favorite dictator of all time.
	Sorry, Hitler.
	You didn't make the cuts.
	His dinner, when he turned 90, it was like 400-year-old turtles, dolphins, sharks, lions, all to eat.
	And then he started fucking his secretary and he willed Zimbabwe to her as a parting gift.
	Wow.
	That didn't go great with the gang.
	His kids are all over Instagram with Rolex.
	The country's in complete disarray.
	And his kids are all not billionaires, multi-millionaires.
	There he is, boring the hair of the woman behind him.
	It's like Chavez's daughter.
	She's worth $3.5 billion.
	Meanwhile, the citizens of Venezuela are eating their cats.
	Was that a picture of him as a young man?
	Looks like the gray.
	He's a totally different head.
	Yeah.
	He's got the gray come in there.
	Forgot some person.
	Maybe that's the Zimbabwean Bob Debono.
	Has he always had a Hitler mustache?
	I think he may.
	I'm not exaggerating.
	He may be the only person in the world with a Hitler mustache.
	Name another person.
	I remember Chris Narakko did it as a joke once for Christmas.
	You know what I've realized with this show, by the way?
	Oh, check out these hot shirts.
	I've realized that when we pack a lot of news in here, we got the reads and then we got the calls and we got the this and the free.
	This is the free part.
	This is a podcast.
	It just, I don't like to bite off more than I can chew.
	So we're going to keep it light this episode.
	Tomorrow I want to go through persecution of the proud boys, all the lies about them, all of this BLM rioting and stuff.
	But we'll touch on some of it.
	But I also want to showcase...
	Wait, what did that say?
	I want to showcase our shirts.
	Man with Hitler mustache charged in weapons case.
	Does that give it like a multiplier?
	But he's joking.
	That guy isn't.
	Oh, that guy looks serious.
	Maybe he doesn't know about Hitler, to be fair.
	Hootler?
	We've also started this week doing Book of the Day.
	Today's book is Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich.
	Fantastic book.
	She did another book after this that sucked rotten eggs called Bait and Switch.
	She also did this book, Global Woman.
	This is a really good book, too.
	All you feminists out there can see what you and I have in common.
	Global Woman is about how we, these third world countries have outsourced love, nannies, maids, and sex workers in the new economy.
	And the whole concept of your Filipina nanny means she's not there for her kids.
	And what she ends up doing is falling in love with your kids.
	And her kids miss her terribly.
	Something like 90% of the kids in these third world countries say, I would never be a nanny.
	No way.
	I would never do that to my kids.
	You're having an affair.
	You're cheating on your kids.
	It's out of sight, out of mind.
	And you change and hug the diapers of this two-year-old and you're with him till he's four and you're hugging him and kissing him to bed at night.
	He's your kid.
	You fall in love with that kid.
	Then they get fired.
	That's like taking their kids away.
	It's a bizarre, sick thing.
	And the fact that we do it across borders, the fact that we import love is fucking sick and wrong.
	There, that's my thing.
	I want to be a woman.
	That's my unpopular opinion of the day.
	I have another unpopular opinion about this shooting in Brooklyn at the Jouver Festival.
	So fucking infuriating.
	I'm going to talk about that more tomorrow.
	But these two kids were shot.
	That's how bad gang warfare is.
	They're shot.
	Go back to that picture of the shooting and the woman crying.
	Here, go to my parlor.
	I just noticed two things about this.
	We'll get into the rest later.
	But how about some culpability from these black mothers?
	What the fuck are your kids doing out at three in the morning?
	Imagine our kids, a white guy's kids got shot.
	Okay, so look at these two pictures.
	I thought these were two different moms.
	No, her weave fell off.
	Oh.
	Oh.
	And it's because it's different printing, it's a different shade of pink.
	That's the same shirt.
	She's got these cheetah pants.
	She was out there meeting hot guys at the party.
	It's where a lot of gangbangers come to settle their score.
	It's also a fun party, and you get to meet guys.
	So they're all done up, ready to party.
	And her six-year-old brother's there, too.
	So same thing.
	You've got your weave on.
	You're crying your eyes out in your picture.
	You're hamming it up for the cameras.
	But check this out.
	That fucking kid has a cast.
	Oh, yeah.
	So you're such a...
	Look, I'm not saying every six-year-old's mom with a cast is a shitty mom, but it's not a great sign.
	Especially because kids have pretty pliable bones when they're young.
	So breaking a kid's arm that severely where he needs a cast from above his elbow all the way down, that's not a great sign.
	I know I say I like to see kids in casts, but a little older than that and not the same ones that got shot through the fucking femur.
	It's 10 o'clock.
	Do you know where your kids are?
	Anyway, this book.
	So I coined the term immersionism a long time ago, and it did not take off as a term.
	I'm still pretty happy with it.
	And it relates to, Ryan, what are you doing?
	What are you doing?
	I'm just, there's a little schmutz on the table.
	Okay, could you maybe worry about the schmutt water?
	You're worried about water from your condensation of your cup.
	Is that what you're doing?
	Yep.
	So he has a large glass of water.
	There's condensation on that.
	The studio's warm.
	The water's cold.
	Some condensation dripped down his cup onto the table.
	He's got Kleenex there, and he's washing the condensation off the table while he should be doing the show.
	Figured it'd be quick.
	Anyway, what Barbara Ehrenreich did is she said, We hear about working class this, working class that.
	Can you survive on a working class salary?
	I'm going to try it.
	And she worked in diners.
	She was a waitress.
	She was a maid.
	And she goes, no, you can't.
	Morgan Spurlock did the same thing when he did his 60 Days show.
	And he would be someone for 60 days.
	He was a Muslim.
	He was a blue-collar dude with no money.
	He was just working.
	And he did well.
	He stayed at a motel.
	And the only reason he lost his money is because his stupid bitch girlfriend had a yeast infection.
	No, a UTI, sorry.
	And she had to go and she didn't have health insurance.
	So it was like $1,400 and that drained their bank account.
	Bitch, have some cranberry sauce.
	Okay, drink some cranberry juice.
	She would have been fine.
	You don't need to spend that money.
	Every girl gets a UTI, especially women that are with me because my dick is like a fucking anaconda.
	So that was stupid.
	But in this book, she forgets like this normal survival instincts.
	So she doesn't stay at a friend's house for a while while she generates money.
	She tries to get enough money for an apartment, but she can't get the deposit because she's broke.
	So she stays at a motel and that ends up eating up all her money.
	That's not how people operate.
	You crash on a couch.
	This is more like for an immigrant who just got here and is totally alone.
	And even then, they'd have the Polish or the Mexican community.
	The other problem with this book is she totally ignores legal aliens.
	Never touches the subject whatsoever.
	And you're like, if you're talking about working in America starting from zero, you kind of have to include illegals.
	So there's some major flaws with it, but it's fascinating to hear someone actually do this.
	This is why I brought up the book Rats the other day because he actually went there and spent months with rats.
	I don't mean snitches.
	I mean actual disgusting rodents.
	So kudos to Barbara for actually trying it and not just pontificating.
	The biggest problem with the media today is everyone is just pontificating and guessing what it's probably like out there based on someone else's fucking tweet.
	And you don't learn about life watching someone else's tweet.
	This is another one of my favorites.
	Hate has no home here.
	I thought you'll notice these are really prevalent in all white neighborhoods.
	And I thought it would be great to just get the same font and everything and make it blacks have no home here.
	Oh my God.
	Just like glue it to the sign.
	Oh, yeah.
	So it would take them a few days.
	That's basically murder.
	I got into an argument with a woman in my neighborhood.
	And I was like, I can't believe you people talk about diversity here.
	It's the whitest neighborhood I've ever been to.
	Like not just lived in.
	And she goes, oh, really?
	How about my, there's plenty of diversity here, religious diversity.
	How about my two nieces who are trans?
	Touche.
	What?
	Touche.
	By the way, folks in white neighborhoods, if you really want to show how open-minded you are and how much you love other groups, go to the black neighborhood near you.
	There's always one within three miles.
	Volunteer.
	Be a math tutor.
	Work with them.
	They'd love to have you.
	Go to the school.
	Help with after-school programs.
	Oh, no?
	Oh, you don't have time?
	Oh, okay.
	Just the sign then.
	Just the sign.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	I got you.
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	jacbd.com promo code gavin 20 off all orders speaking of getting your news from twitter i learned today did you you probably didn't know this and i didn't learn this from being out in the field i learned this from hearing what other people say but did you know that that's an inside joke that only i know no no no you told me you know it yeah my son used to before he was consumed with baseball he used to have these sayings and
	later he is released on parole and gets a reduced sentence because of the extra masks and nobody remembers what happened to this policeman who killed the black person Did you even know that?
	No.
	You have to get international to get the real news.
	You have to not go out there and actually talk to people and experience stuff, but go listen to other fucking bullshit dird world media.
	How amazing is that?
	Lebanese TV is claiming that because of the mask shortage, which I didn't know about, the white people who are in control are killing blacks.
	That's like, wait a minute.
	Masks are, you need a lot.
	So you'd have to slaughter like millions of blacks, half the black population.
	And you'd have these bodies everywhere, like big farmers fields of just black bodies.
	And you don't just wear one mask.
	You need a couple.
	Right.
	So each person, each white person would be responsible for like 30 black deaths.
	Oh my God.
	What about old people that need it the most?
	Like, how are they going to kill them?
	There are like 100 black deaths.
	But how do they kill them?
	The society.
	No, no, no.
	I just meant like per number.
	As far as the killing goes, his contention is that the white government has the police go out and kill them.
	Oh, okay, thanks.
	They summon them using a chant.
	We should make up stuff about Lebanon.
	F it.
	Yeah, I got some news about Lebanon.
	It sucks.
	It used to be a wonderful Christian country.
	Then the Muslims came along.
	It was 50-50 for a while.
	And the Muslims do what Muslims do.
	And they kicked out all the Christians who moved to Canada mostly.
	They seem to take over Ottawa.
	They're awesome.
	Christian Lebanese.
	And now it's just like Pakistan.
	I think it would be an improvement.
	This is one of my favorite shirts that we have.
	Invade Greenland.
	It's apolitical.
	It seems patriotic.
	And it's my new favorite kind of joke.
	True jokes.
	I do think we should invade.
	Whatever happened to invading?
	Like, we go to wars.
	We're in Iraq.
	We're in Afghanistan.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's not really an invasion.
	We're just sort of around there with this bullshit hearts and minds crap.
	What are you doing?
	Just putting on my shirt.
	My other shirt.
	I feel like I'm a toad.
	Wow, you're really good at putting on shirts.
	And thanks for advertising our clothes and making them look comfortable and cool to wear.
	Oh, I see.
	Why do you think I'm doing this?
	I'm promoting our shirtwear.
	What, you're too lazy to take your shirt off?
	Yeah, it's just...
	Just take the headphones off.
	Oh, my God.
	You have to take those.
	How are you going to ever get them back on?
	You can see my back knee, which is gross.
	Don't film your back knee if you're embarrassed of it.
	By the way, best way to get rid of back knee, you sunburn it off.
	I heard that.
	Yeah.
	Actually, it's been getting very good.
	Same with acne.
	Just get a sunburn.
	Crisp yourself.
	Burn that marshmallow.
	Hey, I was...
	Oh, I didn't explain the opening song.
	That's by What the Fuck, brah.
	And we discovered him from a subscriber to the show, sent it into the letters page, and he does these amazing fucking songs.
	I got to watch it with the swing.
	He makes these amazing Goldarn songs using, you know, the political zeitgeist.
	So that's fun.
	Check that out.
	I couldn't find any information about him.
	I think he's from LA.
	Not sure, though.
	He's obviously a talented artist.
	And if you're an artist, you can't really promote Trump and put your face on it without being completely blacklisted.
	Here's a trip.
	So I'm watching TV with my youngest last night.
	And we're watching this reality show about the Bronx Zoo and occasionally the Central Park Zoo.
	It's called the Zoo.
	This is 1-1.
	Check it out.
	And I'm watching it going, I was never really into zoos.
	I mean, I don't give a fuck about animals.
	I see them as mutants.
	They're genetic accidents that were supposed to be human.
	And I don't really care if they live or die.
	I'm not cruel.
	I don't want to hurt a dog.
	I'm not like these fucking Middle Eastern kids who will just chop a dog's ears off with shearing scissors and then laugh as it goes, but I just don't, I don't know.
	I don't like seeing them in cages.
	They don't see them in their natural habitat.
	It just seems wrong.
	But, you know, in the Bronx Zoo, for example, a lot of these are drug dealers that buy some crazy exotic animal and they realize they can't handle it.
	So they leave it at the front gate.
	So it's really conservation.
	But I was watching this show the other day and all of a sudden I went, you know what?
	I like zoos.
	I think they're important.
	You know why?
	Because they're mental institutions for the mentally ill.
	Welcome to New York.
	Now, I'm not sure they'll show up in this thing.
	This trailer seems a little too heavy on the animals, the amylos.
	Sorry, my allergies are going nuts.
	I look like a cokehead.
	I look like Artie Lang at a job interview.
	Did I ever tell you about Tony Curters?
	But I'm looking at these women who work there, and the women are divided into the following categories.
	About 15 to 20% are pretty women with incredible maternal instincts, and no one's put a ring on it, so they don't know what to do, where to funnel this, sort of like Howard Stern's wife.
	And what they do is they just look after these animals, and it's all about the babies.
	And we're having our first penguin baby, and we're watching the egg.
	And you know that they come in early every day and they work extra hours, and they just love that shit.
	And that's great.
	Second category, as far as women go, the other 80%, 85% is...
	Oh, shit, you got to sign into your provider.
	You might be able to watch full episodes, though.
	Well, YouTube has a million trailers, penis face.
	Okay.
	Are lesbians, ugly lesbians.
	And some lesbians are like, I'm a fucking bitch, and I'm just going to do it.
	And they move to the gay village, and they've got tons of girlfriends, and they just love it.
	And they're fine with it.
	Yeah, I don't like kids, and I got four cats, and I'm a fucking dyke, and I want to slit Trump's throat.
	And I just ate out a 20-year-old last night.
	You're doing it.
	You got it.
	You're under control.
	A lot of them just go, like, they're Christian or whatever.
	And they just go, what's happened to me?
	Whoa.
	Look at our state as a border.
	We work as a team.
	Well, I know, I know, I know.
	I know, I know, I know.
	He's like, I don't want to hold still.
	All those hairs, you see them coming out now?
	Oh, look at that.
	All that is supposed to be sitting outside right there.
	There are some dogs that have this their entire life that become gays.
	I never thought of that.
	Gay men, too.
	They're not that into their sexuality, and so they just say, I want to love, and I don't want to love a dude and gives my mother nightmares.
	So they just love these animals.
	And it's much healthier than killing yourself.
	Has she got makeup on her neck tattoo?
	Or is she getting her neck tattoo removed?
	But the truth of the matter is, it's irresponsible breeding.
	Because I don't have a break.
	Yeah, and they have all these rules about breeding, and it's this is irresponsible, and it should be a rescue.
	Like, that's all just misdirected maternal instincts.
	There's a lesbian right there, clearly.
	So that's good, right?
	We've got these people who are having mental issues with their bizarre sexuality, and they have a place to funnel it all.
	And then, what the fuck's he crying about now?
	A schnauzer?
	It's a dog.
	Yes, it loves you.
	We took a wolf, and we spent thousands of years breeding it into thing, something that only cares about you and eating.
	That's all.
	Thanks, men.
	Thanks, men.
	It's a fucking robot.
	Dogs are robots.
	They're genetic mutants.
	That's why wolves eat them.
	Because they go, uh-oh, I better call the herd.
	We've got some sort of bizarre inbred freak who's growing hair into his eyeball.
	But there's a fourth category, whatever we're at right now, where I support zoos.
	Autistic men.
	These men, they can't correspond with human beings.
	They can't look other men in the eyes.
	They don't know what to do with their lives.
	They commit suicide.
	They're lonely.
	They're not going to have a relationship with women.
	It's Animal Planet the Zoo is the show.
	Yeah, I got it.
	Yeah, you got it.
	I'm trying to see.
	Like, I was watching this dude dealing with geckos last night, and he knows everything there is to know about geckos.
	And his clothes are kind of washed weird, and the collar is kind of down the way that an autistic person would wear his polo.
	And I'm just realizing, thank God, we have geckos for this guy, so he can feel like he's doing something.
	And they spend hours helping it breed and doing all this dumb shit.
	Jose doesn't count.
	He's not in any category.
	He's just cheap labor.
	People here in the Bronx are all invested in all these animals here and getting them here.
	Yeah, I don't think he has mental problems.
	He's probably making 300 grand a year.
	He's a hustler.
	But animals are garbage, right?
	Don't hurt them, but they don't mean anything.
	They're just really plants that walk around and have eyeballs.
	And I thank God, literally, that we have this venue where these poor autistic boys and men can sit there.
	Maybe look up Gecko, Gecko Lizard, pregnant.
	And you go, thank God, these lonely women, these young spinsters, these lost lesbians, these twisted gays, and these lonely autistic men who can't function have a place.
	He doesn't.
	Is he autistic?
	They're usually not that big.
	Eye contact.
	Wow.
	Do you think he likes Lord of the Rings?
	He's just a fat nerd who never gets laid.
	But he needs love too.
	I'm going to love my lizards.
	He had like one girl that he loved in high school, and she thought they were just friends.
	And then she started asking him for advice about guys.
	Oh, no.
	And he went, uh-oh, I'm in the friend zone.
	I always have been.
	So he'd just lie in bed at night and masturbate thinking about her crying.
	30% chance he's one of the guys.
	She's a smoke.
	She's like a 12.
	Oh, she's, of course.
	That's why she just assumed that we were just friends.
	No, but a 12, like, in love with him.
	You ever see those?
	What?
	Yeah, there's like 12% of fat guys have like a bombshell girlfriend.
	Yeah, they're called billionaires.
	This is why he's so good at holding the lizard because he spent his entire adolescence jerking the chicken.
	His hand just wraps around those things perfectly.
	Look, that's a beat-off professional.
	Just to?
	Sad that he's doing it near a girl.
	I wish you could find this gecko guy, though.
	I thought that was there.
	No, no, no.
	He's not clearly autistic.
	So, by all accounts, this is all good news.
	So I want zoos because they're like, the animals there are slaves to the mentally ill.
	It's still a prison for animals, but I don't give a fuck about animals.
	So, by the way, this is a cute shirt that just, if you don't want to overstate it, that's a good one.
	Sorry, this is such a nipple-heavy show there, folks.
	This also is a fantastic shirt.
	Clown World.
	I like these.
	I don't like shirts to be overtly political, like, Trump rocks, Trump, Trump 2020, MAGA, MAGA, four more years, bitches.
	This is just like, can you believe this shit?
	All right.
	We packed a lot of silly ephemera into this episode.
	It's almost like dumpster diving.
	We got books and songs and news blips and t-shirts.
	But there is a few important things I want to talk to, like Quebec City having re-education camps, a bit of Antifa porn, and this Dijon Kazelle case that's causing riots in LA.
	They never ask what the guy did or what his past was.
	Oh, he deserved to die just because he raped a kid.
	Well, yes, but I know where you're going.
	And the quest, the answer is the odds are he was fucking with the cops and not just simply walking down the street minding his own business.
	But you don't get that because you don't pay.
	So goodbye, freebies, freeloaders.
	And all you people who pay, stick around.
	We're going to do another Half hour of chit-chatting, then we're going to take calls and do doodles.
	Oh, we should mention the doodles.
	The auction four, action five is up.
	And I'm really excited about this particular auction because, uh, wait, that's the old one.
	We got to update it.
	Got to update it.
	So it'll be updated on the site, ASAP.
	But it has about a 10 or so of John Kinsman's drawings he did in prison.
	He's up there by the border at Bear Hill Correctional Facility.
	And I don't care where you stand on the political spectrum, where you are in this clown world.
	I think one piece of your art collection has to include, I can send it to you, Ryan.
	Has to include prison art.
	Like even if you hate the Proud Boys, you have something on your wall and they go, what's that?
	And you go, oh shit, that's like this Proud Boy who got thrown in prison for fighting Antifa.
	And he did this in prison.
	What, really?
	And it's Proud Boys Crossing the Delaware?
	Like, you can hate the Proud Boys.
	I think you should.
	But it's still, I think, a really interesting piece to have.
	So some of it is pretty crude, and some of it seems specifically made for the club, the Proud Boys.
	But I think you should go on there and buy it because it's a fascinating little moment in time.
	Okay, I emailed it to you.
	But how do people look this up?
	Doodles for Justice 5.
	So maybe go to Charity Auctions today and go Doodles for Justice 5.
	Right?
	Yeah, in the top thing right there, auctions slash Doodles for Justice 5.
	I tried to search it, but it will be on the bar, on the search bar.
	So on the left side of the screen, you'll see it in the tip.
	You go to censor.tv and look for it there, or go to Charity Auctions Today and put in the search Doodles for Justice 5, and that should come up.
	And look at these pictures.
	Go down.
	There's that one.
	But look at that one.
	Prison Art PB Delaware.
	Can you zoom that up?
	He's only got pencil crayons in there.
	Although he did make an acetate stencil.
	I don't know how he did that.
	Now, that's just like, I feel like a historian should have that.
	You know what?
	This should be in a time capsule.
	And then people go, what was this about?
	Oh, this was 2020 when there was a huge conflict between patriotic right-wingers and fucking non-par lefties.
	All right, that's enough.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	We'll see you next week, Freeloaders.
	So you're not supposed to get set up.
	As it turns out, it wasn't set up.
	So I take responsibility for falling for a setup.
	I don't wear a mask when I'm washing my hair.
	Do you wear a mask when you're washing your hair?
	I've been there many, many times.
	I always have a mask.
	Since we passed the bill, I always have a mask.
	I don't wear a mask when I wash my hair.
	Do you wear a mask when you wash your hair?
	Motherfucker, yeah.
	So much for the cursing.
	There's never cursing.
	I shouldn't have done that.
	I'm sorry.
	Still trying to find that gecko kid.
	It is hard to not curse.
	Well, it's when you have kids, you can't curse.
	Yeah.
	And then they get to be like 13 and you start going, can I relax it a bit?
	And you start going, fucking these assholes.
	And you see them sort of go, and you realize, oh, this is the first time, this is the first time you've heard me swear.
	Yeah.
	I told you about this, right?
	Can you see that little thing on my glasses?
	Have I shown the folks at home how awesome it is?
	I don't know if you've done the actual demo.
	Let's do it, shall we?
	We could hear it.
	Where'd I put my glasses?
	Oh, no, I can't find them.
	Nice.
	Can you change the ringtone on there?
	Yes.
	Nice.
	I don't know why you would bother doing such a thing.
	That doesn't really sound like a you type of tone.
	Oh, maybe I should have kind of a cool one that's like, hey, I'm over here, fuckface.
	Like highway to hell or something.
	Or let's do this.
	Oh no, my keys, I know they're somewhere here.
	First of all, it tells you on your app where in the city they are.
	So then say you get to the address, like the studio or the fag zone, and then you go, oh, it can find my phone.
	But no, I don't want to find my phone.
	I want to find my keys.
	That's loud.
	I got him.
	I could find my phone with it.
	Can you find your phone with it?
	Yes.
	Yes, I can.
	Okay.
	Do you know why I can do that?
	Why?
	I'll tell you why.
	Because I'm a toad.
	Not bad.
	And as a drunk who's constantly losing his shit, you're just like, I already did the joke before about how I needed to change my life when I lost the 50th thing and then I did by buying this shit.
	But as a drunk, you're walking around and, you know, as a loser, you're always thinking, oh, fuck, great.
	I'm going to probably lose these.
	I'm going to lose my wallet.
	I'm going to lose my keys.
	That's going to be a pain in the ass.
	But once you know you have the security, it's like having a gun.
	It's like having a concealed carry.
	So now I walk around.
	I'm like, I ain't losing shit, bitch.
	I might take these off.
	Kind of cocky about it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Mm-hmm.
	Does it have a thing when you go too far away from it, it tells you.
	It says, hey.
	Yeah, I took that off.
	No, no, that's...
	Oh, man.
	Because sometimes it'll do it when they're on my head.
	I know, but it's like, that's not too far, guys.
	See if you could customize the distance because that's the best feature.
	Because let's say if you leave it in the Uber and that shit's just going, like, you'll know then.
	Like, that's a real good emergency little feature.
	All right, let's get through some news items.
	Tomorrow, I want to go through a bunch of...
	It seems that these people are finally getting arrested.
	So I want to go through a bunch of women saying, fuck you, bitch.
	What the fuck are you going to do, loser?
	And then getting fucking trashed.
	Look at 1.3.
	And I'm going to send you another one I just thought of.
	Because it's been 100 days of Fuck you, bitch.
	So they've got that attitude.
	Yeah.
	They got that PMA.
	Whose streets?
	Our streets.
	Whose jail cells?
	Keep calling cops bitches.
	Hey, bitch.
	Fuck you.
	Move your fucking hands.
	Do not hit me.
	Unbelievable.
	She's shorter than you, if that's even possible without being a legal dwarf.
	Of course it is.
	No, that's not true.
	Go ahead.
	She's fat and frumpy.
	I mean, there's probably like, as far as adult males go, there's probably about 130 in the world she can beat up that aren't in wheelchairs.
	And she's like, don't fucking push me, bitch.
	To a guy who, sorry, but cops fight for a living.
	Cops are in a fight a day, no matter what.
	So even the shittiest fighter cop, the fattest pig, he's really good.
	Fuck you.
	Move your fucking hand.
	Don't touch me.
	Do not hit me.
	Shut the fuck up.
	You're really fucking pushing it, you piece of shit.
	Wow.
	She spat on them.
	It's not smart.
	Yo, yo, down the streets.
	Go on the sidewalk.
	Watch that little cops.
	You know, you talk to cops about them getting hurt and them getting put in headlocks and them getting punched and stuff.
	And they go, for the most part, the judges just say, well, that's the job.
	You know, you've got to get rough.
	But they go, spitting, spitting is different.
	People, everyone gets mad.
	Every judge gets mad at spitting.
	It's the one time we're allowed to bring someone in.
	So listen to the woman filming.
	Time to go.
	Time to go.
	There's a black woman in the street right now, and you guys, that's not okay.
	There's a black woman in the street right now, and that is not okay.
	They're arresting her for spitting on you.
	Tatiana, fuck.
	Remember when you were like 14?
	What if someone said I dare you spit on a cop?
	You'd go, what?
	No.
	Do you hate me?
	Why would you tell me?
	How could that possibly turn out in anything but jail?
	Fuck, pussy.
	All right, pussy.
	Tatiana, you're arresting me!
	Don't fucking touch!
	We're woofing my mouth and everything!
	Don't!
	No, I'm in both!
	Don't touch her!
	Fuck, you're violating me!
	That's a David Cross sketch from Mr. Show.
	Y'all are brutalizing me.
	No.
	Okay.
	This has all the drama.
	This fight.
	This has all the drama of remember Casino where Joe Pesci's brother's getting buried alive in front of...
	Yeah, yeah.
	Beaten alive.
	Like you said, let's do this.
	Get a female police officer now.
	I am demanding you get a female police officer to help her.
	These are SNL characters.
	It's like Romy and Michelle's riot.
	I don't know that one.
	You don't know Romy and Michelle?
	No, I'm assuming those officers.
	Really?
	Look it up.
	Lick it up, I said.
	Ew.
	Lick it up.
	You know the song Lick It Up, bitches?
	That one I know.
	Do you know the album Animalize when they took their makeup off?
	And they had songs like this.
	Burn, bitch, burn.
	Not that.
	I want to put my log in your fireplace.
	Ooh, yeah.
	It sucks.
	I was so lucky getting mono.
	That was like the best diet ever.
	Meet Romy and Michelle.
	Remember that time I barked some really bad Mexican food?
	So gross.
	I hate growing up in public.
	Me too.
	They walk the walk.
	This underwear is 12.
	They talk the talk.
	Romi, did you lose weight?
	All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corn.
	God, I wish I had your discipline.
	But at their high school reunion, I've never heard of it.
	It's pretty good.
	That's Garofilo.
	It's pretty funny.
	There's Garofilo.
	Don't fucking touch her.
	You haven't.
	It's like, if that was stand-up comedy, it would be hack.
	You're making fun of fucking drunk chicks.
	That's not.
	Come on, dude.
	Try some wit.
	So check out what I just emailed you.
	It's the exact same thing.
	But dudes.
	Maybe the riots are good, just like zoos for the mentally ill.
	It's a good place for the mentally ill to let off steam.
	Give them one of the Baltimore mayor says.
	Give them space to riot.
	This one is a nice simple one.
	If you're not into like super graphic stuff, this is just your shirt.
	This is a show I watch.
	I love white tees too, so.
	I love whiteys.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Okay, you fucking pussies.
	Pussies.
	Go home, pussies.
	You're so fucking scared of us.
	Stop, stop, stop.
	Okay, so the antifatwats in New York are pretty annoying.
	They're rich kids, overeducated.
	They talk about Marx and anarcho-socialist communes and that kind of stuff.
	The antifa cunts in LA are even worse because they're totally uneducated, spoiled brats who speak any bonics, do art, and have absolutely nothing to offer the world.
	They are all great arguments for abortion.
	Planned Parenthood should have them on their posters.
	The mascots.
	But you got to hear the beginning, the way this guy explains it to the pigs.
	So you have to go back a little bit.
	Y'all are going to back the fuck up.
	We're going back.
	All right, so hey, here's the situation.
	Y'all gonna back the fuck up.
	We gonna back the fuck up.
	See?
	Pause.
	Did you hear that?
	Okay, y'all, here's the situation.
	Y'all gonna back the fuck up, and then we all gonna back the fuck up.
	You missed the best part.
	See?
	Cool?
	Show it again.
	We may just watch this for the next half hour.
	That's cringy.
	Alright, so hey, here's the situation.
	Y'all's gonna back the fuck up.
	We gonna back the fuck up.
	We gonna back the fuck up.
	See?
	No?
	Y'all's gonna back the fuck up.
	We gonna back the fuck up.
	See?
	See?
	No?
	Shut the fuck up.
	Stupid bitches.
	You think he told people about that?
	Like, so in this one time, I told them.
	No, I think you're close, but I think what's going on here is he said to himself, I'm a leader, and I could be the next sort of Malcolm X of this particular movement.
	And I'll be on posters and I'll be on the news, just like Miss Juneteenth was trying to do, or the guy with the van with graffiti on the side and the little blonde tips.
	So this guy's decided, I'm just going to show them through meritocracy that I'm meant to be the leader.
	And I'm just going to take control of the situation, tell the cops this is how it's going to go.
	And I'm going to give them an out.
	And then if they don't take it, I'm going to say, shut the fuck up, bitches.
	Because you'll see in a second that he thinks he's different from the group and the captain wants to go down with his ship.
	Spoiler alert.
	Whoa, shit.
	Look.
	He's still standing there.
	Did he sure fly there?
	He took like 100 paintballs.
	He actually thought...
	So first he does, y'all gonna back fuck up.
	Then we gonna back fuck up, bitch.
	You see?
	And then after they started shooting, everyone ran.
	But he sits there going, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow it down.
	You know what might have happened?
	Maybe some of them take pills.
	Like Xanax.
	You know how pills are big with the kids?
	Oxy and all that?
	Sure.
	Maybe they take pills because they're nervous to straighten their nerves.
	And then it, oh my God, dude.
	Epiphany of the century.
	Not bad.
	We're watching kids on opioids.
	We're watching kids on Xanax.
	That's why they have this confidence.
	Like, what, bitch?
	You know the band Gorilla Biscuits?
	They, their name Gorilla Biscuits, don't look them up.
	Comes from these, they would do qualudes or something, and it made you feel so tough, you'd get in the, you were like a gorilla.
	So the biscuits were the pills, and you'd be like a gorilla, and you could fight anyone.
	So they talked about, they called them gorilla biscuits, so they made you tough and you could fight guys.
	Damn.
	There was another New York band that had a song running around.
	Robin Banks all whacked out on Scooby Snacks.
	Scooby Snacks was another name for them.
	And they just, they were these lewds that would just make you like, hey, man, what the fuck you looking at?
	You're a bitch, you know that?
	Fucking.
	I'm the world heavyweight.
	Not to me, motherfucker.
	You're a loser.
	Is there some karmic chi love thing happening to baby at work?
	Fun-loving criminals.
	Same demographic.
	But one's rap and one's hardcore.
	And yeah, we're watching kids running around rioting on Scooby snacks.
	That's why that guy was getting blasted just like the jackass dudes who got blasted on Kwailudes or whatever they were on Xanax.
	They got shot with riot pellets for a jackass movie.
	That's why he's sitting there going, whoa, whoa, dude.
	Because it doesn't hurt that much.
	They're pre-painkilled.
	Yeah, it still hurts, but it's more like wasp bites than what it really is.
	Which is more like being stabbed.
	Again, fuck these assholes for making me enjoy seeing blacks and blacks, seeing cops mess with free speech.
	They're ruining it for us.
	Yeah, I'm not supposed to enjoy that.
	No.
	I'm the free speech guy.
	I want people to be able to protest.
	And I don't like smiling when young people are blasted with little pellets.
	But you guys have been such dicks, such gorilla biscuits, that I'm sorry.
	I smile when I see you getting fucked with.
	We're being demoralized.
	This is who we're talking about.
	Oink, oink, you monsters.
	And maybe, you know what?
	Maybe she was drunk.
	That's why she was crying.
	This girl, of course, was crying.
	It's another t-shirt of ours, obviously.
	She was crying because the subway said they were going to up the number of officers.
	And that would lead to more turnstile jumpers getting busted.
	And that would lead to more blacks in jail.
	Don't jump the turnstiles.
	Should be fine.
	COVID hit right after this.
	And there she is.
	And we ended up with nobody on the subways.
	And guess what?
	The subways were covered literally in shit.
	Rape was rampant.
	It was a disgusting shithole.
	So she got her wish.
	The oink oinks didn't show up.
	And we saw what her utopia is like.
	And it stinks.
	This is a crazy black fight I saw, by the way.
	1-4.
	This goes back to that woman I showed you crying at the Jouverte, which is a Haitian, whatever, West Indian parade party where girls go to meet guys to get laid.
	And guys go to shoot someone from a rival gang.
	And this dumb bitch bought her kid.
	And I'm the only person.
	I promise you, I'm the only person that's going to say, why was a kid there at 4 a.m.?
	Now here we are at the Shake Shack in New York City, not far from the studio, actually.
	And not only is this bitch picking fights when she has her kid with her, but the guy at the Shake Shack is happy to oblige.
	Oh my God, bro.
	Oh, yo, chill.
	Daniel, bro, chill.
	Oh, my God, bro.
	Dude, chill.
	Daniel.
	Wait, go back.
	Did you see that Wakanda jump?
	Look at this.
	This, this, coming up.
	Over in slow motion.
	That was like DC Comics.
	I thought the Black Panther dude died.
	He reads way too many comic books.
	Look at that.
	Woo!
	Jumping off a ledge.
	Got some major air there, bro.
	Yeah, I mean, he is African in that he's fighting a hippo.
	What do I do right now?
	Those are...
	Look at her.
	Oh, my God.
	He's like one.
	Maybe she ordered a whamburger and cries.
	Look at that.
	Mommy, Can we go home?
	Yet again, it's very late, isn't it?
	My cave instincts are telling me this is a bad situation.
	That was crazy.
	You're foul as fuck for videotaping that shit.
	What?
	Oh, yeah.
	That's foul?
	Of course I've been.
	Let me see your phone.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Also, that's a white, a mulatto who grew up with her white mom, and she's the most adamant about black rights.
	She's like, you foul as fuck for filming that.
	You can tell by your accent that she went to nice schools.
	But I'm fucking with it.
	That was cool.
	You're foul as fuck for videotaping that shit.
	Wow, yeah.
	You're foul as fuck for videotaping that shit.
	I'm going to tell everyone at Brown.
	So, yeah, we haven't touched on this yet, but there's big riots in LA because of a math tutor who is learning the clarinet named Dijon Kizel.
	Dijon?
	Dijon is...
	This is 160.
	Dijon is a place in France that makes mustard and the mustard is named after it.
	It has no other meaning.
	So they named their kid mustard.
	It's a fancy mustard, but mustard is not a very fancy thing.
	This is like when my kid was young and we were living in Brooklyn and one of her friends was named Alizay.
	And I'm like, that's not even that expensive of a drink.
	No, it's not.
	It's like a fancy, shitty drink.
	Like Stella Artois is a fancy beer, but beer is shitty.
	So Dijon.
	It is the finest of mustards, don't get me wrong.
	Is this it?
	But it's still mustard.
	Yeah.
	So this kid, this annoying white kid, is walking down the highway.
	They block the highway because if there's one thing that's responsible for racism and police brutality, it's cars and people going to work.
	That's who we have to wake up.
	This is how the system gets to work.
	It's not a great way to raise support for your cause.
	Huh?
	What y'all protesting for?
	You don't think on camera?
	Huh?
	Hey, this guy asked, what are you protesting for?
	We're protesting for Dijon Kissy, who was shot by LA Sheriff's Department on Monday.
	He didn't have a gun?
	Maybe he had a gun.
	He had no gun when he was shot.
	He dropped his possessions.
	He's laying on the ground.
	He was running from the cops.
	I said, I'm 30 years old.
	I'm a black man.
	I don't put myself in positions to be shot by the police.
	Because I don't carry guns.
	I don't gangbang.
	I don't do drugs.
	I don't do things like that to put myself in a position.
	We were protesting, but we're not speaking against the actions that are getting us killed.
	And we need to be protesting against ill actions, against wrongdoings.
	We need to humble ourselves and come correct and live in a society in peace in order for peace to be given unto us.
	He dropped the gun, and that's why he got shot.
	His actions caused the repercussions.
	Personally, I think like just having a gun like in California, like it can be a misdemeanor, it can be a felony, but it's not necessary.
	I don't think he deserves death.
	That's all.
	It's illegal.
	But still, he didn't deserve death.
	I think he should be responsible for his own choices, but I don't know if he deserved this or not because I wasn't there and I didn't really see what happens.
	But I do want to tell everybody to do what's right, to live in society and don't do things that are illegal.
	Because I think we can stop doing this show now.
	Yeah, that's just about it.
	We're done.
	It's like my dad when he's drunk and he'll play Blue by You by Linda Ronstadt.
	And he'll go, we're done.
	We're finished.
	Music is complete.
	Why?
	Why would anyone?
	Why would anyone write another song?
	Perfection has been achieved.
	And the mission boats with their sails afloat on blue by you.
	Since I live my baby.
	He'll say like when it really starts and he likes it, he'll sound like he's going to kick your ass.
	Like, oh, fuck.
	Like he left the oven on?
	Fucking perfect.
	Listen to that, you cocksucker.
	I'll fucking kill you, so I will.
	Saving dimes.
	Saving dimes.
	Nickels and dimes.
	That's why he loves it so much, because it says saving nickels, saving dimes.
	See, that's a good message.
	Penny pension.
	She's good with money, by the way.
	Then he starts getting like sensual, like he's on heroin.
	And he starts rubbing his clothes and stuff and like making love to himself.
	That's a good look.
	Takes his shoes off and stuff.
	I'm blew by you.
	Oh, for fuck's sakes, man.
	Listen to that.
	Sails afloat.
	If I could only...
	Like, you want to hear him massacring this song?
	Sunrise!
	I know, I have the entire song memorized because I heard it a hundred times as a kid.
	100 times.
	A thousand times.
	See that song, Gavin.
	Why continue?
	And then the shit hit the fan when he saw why to continue when Annie Lennox came out.
	What's the song with?
	Here comes the rain again.
	Here comes the rain again.
	Fucking falling on my head like a memory.
	Ugh, you see that?
	Nah that.
	I thought Linda Ronstadt was a peak.
	Fucking Annie Lennox.
	Oh my god.
	This is a mind-blowing gym.
	Oh, you and my dad should get together.
	The song sucks.
	It's me.
	No.
	The blue by you is boring.
	It's for old ladies.
	I like old ladies.
	Oh, that weird plucky sound.
	What?
	That's that?
	A violin, by the way.
	Yeah.
	Fucking absolute head.
	Is it raining, really?
	Here comes the rain again.
	Here comes the rain.
	Ugh.
	Let's sit down.
	It's filmed in fucking Strathclyde, by the way.
	Ugh.
	Oh, she's charged.
	Oh, okay.
	How about the other lady that we listened to?
	She's from a place called America.
	Okay.
	Oh, that's right.
	Yes.
	And then he goes, right, we'll keep that set.
	And then it was probably 1993 whenever this song was big and we went to his cottage, which is, you can't walk there.
	You have to take a boat or in the winter you walk over the frozen lake.
	In those interim periods, it's up to you, dude.
	You're probably going to die.
	And it's just a cabin with no heat.
	It does have heat.
	It has no water, has an outhouse, and a well.
	Actually, it's the neighbor's well.
	That's how fucking cheap he is.
	I could build his cabin in if I had three guys helping me six days.
	It's not a joke.
	So we're up there and I bring a ghetto blaster that takes batteries because I don't want to use up his one outlet.
	And when I say him, I mean him and my mom.
	And I go, you know how you said music was over after Annie Lights?
	I knew this one was going to fucking roast his ass.
	And I just pressed play on the CD player and it was Oasis, Champagne Supernova.
	He likes that.
	And when he goes, where were you?
	And then he was just like, oh, for fuck's sake.
	And then he's just sitting there with like his sweatpants on, no shoes or socks, no shirt, his weird, like skinny, muscular body and tight chest.
	And he's just like standing on the deck looking out at the lake and just screaming at the top of his lungs, where were you when we were getting out?
	And now I can't hear this song without hearing it fucking drunk Leswegian.
	He also had a comb over that would like come uncombed.
	So it would just be like this thing like that.
	And he's like, where were you when we were getting out?
	How many special people change?
	How many lives are living strange?
	Where were you while we were?
	Love it, my boy.
	That is fucking classic.
	Wait, was he just being serious about playing a kid's toy?
	That's a mellotron.
	Where were you when we were getting high?
	From melodica, excuse me.
	Alright, that's enough of that.
	It's turning into Ryan's mailbag here.
	People like music.
	So, go back to that black guy who just sort of ended the entire network.
	Like, we should just go censor.tv and you just come to this.
	And you know what I love about this?
	Diatribe?
	This is my Linda Ronstadt, my Annie Lennox, and my champagne supernova, this guy.
	You know what I love about him is he lured the fucking stupid kid in with his dumb athletic glasses.
	He lured him in by said, what's your protest about?
	Pretending he has no idea.
	And then he goes, oh, well, did he have a gun?
	Oh, he did.
	Oh.
	And was he running from the, oh, so he's doing something illegal.
	You don't say.
	You know, he probably would have been okay if he wasn't doing anything illegal, don't you think?
	And that corners your enemy into an awkward situation where they go, well, you don't deserve to die for that.
	Asshole shit for brains.
	No one on earth is saying you have to die because you have an illegal weapon.
	And the sentence is the electric chair.
	Sorry, sir.
	That's what we decided as a society.
	We have laws on the books for illegal guns.
	We have laws on the books for all this.
	Yeah, but you shot him instead of taking him to court.
	No, that's not why they shot him.
	They didn't shoot him because they went, that's illegal gun boy.
	They shot him because they don't want to die.
	And we as a society don't want them to die.
	So when you're chasing a perp, you're going, why the fuck is he running?
	This was a normal traffic stop.
	He had a fake driver's license plate.
	This is very, it's not, there's like a $50 fine.
	Worst case scenario.
	I wasn't even going to give him the fine.
	So this is scary.
	He's running.
	Something big is going on.
	Either he has a warrant for something bigger or he has a gun.
	Please don't have a gun.
	Please don't have a gun.
	I just, I got a two-week old at home.
	I really don't want to die.
	Then he starts fumbling.
	Then he falls.
	Then he drops his jacket.
	A gun comes out.
	That's my worst.
	That's the thing I was the most scared of.
	Fuck.
	And then he's fumbling on.
	His hands near the gun.
	Oh, for fuck's sake.
	That's how it went down.
	This idea that you fucking gorilla biscuits, kids, are so fucking high and you're going on Netflix benders and you're watching TV when some dirty hairy type, the modern equivalent is like, I don't like you, punk.
	That's what you get for having an illegal gun.
	That's not even remotely how any of this shit works.
	These guys are fucking...
	Like you see videos.
	There's this video I saw of the guy with a knife.
	Did we show this on the show?
	Wait a minute.
	Go back to that black guy in case he has a little more to say.
	He's got a little more.
	Okay.
	To live in society and don't do things that are illegal.
	Because when you're doing things that are illegal, you're putting yourself in a situation where things can come to you, either jail or death.
	That's what usually happens when you do things that are illegal.
	Okay, jail or death.
	Thank you very much.
	Have a great week.
	Welcome.
	Yeah, speed zoom.
	There's two types of blacks left in America.
	The fuck it.
	I'm going to die anyway.
	I'm going to go out in a blaze of glory stealing shit and being an asshole.
	And no, I'm going to never stop fighting.
	And I'm going to keep trying to make my name, keep trying to make a name for myself, keep trying to make money, keep trying to get employed, keep working on my family.
	I'm not going to do illegal shit.
	I trust the system to a certain extent.
	I'm obviously going to be there if something, you know, ridiculous happens, but I'm ready and willing to do this project we call America.
	Let's roll up our sleeves.
	Okay, see if you can dig up this video.
	A cop shoots a guy like 20 times.
	He has a knife.
	He's outside.
	He grabs another cop.
	Did we cover this on the show?
	This is why they shoot to kill or something.
	I remember that.
	Yeah, that's.
	I kept seeing it.
	Why are we watching this in our leisure?
	Why wouldn't you just click videos?
	Dude, if you look at it in the internet, you're just going to get articles.
	The whole internet.
	They're outside.
	Man with a knife shot multiple times.
	Yep.
	Grabs another cop.
	I know exactly the one.
	He gets shot a bunch, falls down, and then gets back up.
	Yes.
	And the reason I want to pull this up is because as he's shooting, the guy isn't like, well, well, well, fucking Negro thinks he can come at me with a naff.
	Well, you got another thing coming because I'm in a movie and I'm watching it on Quelludes.
	I did a quarter of a Xanax bar.
	That's it.
	You found it.
	No, they're going, oh, fuck, stop, stop, get back, come back, come back.
	No, don't do it.
	Don't do it.
	Stand back.
	Stop, stop, stop.
	Fuck.
	Like when they shot Amadou Diallo, the cops were crying after.
	They were bawling their eyes out when they saw he didn't have a gun.
	You made me kill a person.
	I've never seen that reporting in anywhere but Bill McGowan's book, Coloring the News.
	Just tase him.
	Can't you just shoot him in the knee?
	That's what they always say.
	They always say that.
	Just tase him or just like shoot him with a pepper spray ball.
	These are fucking bullets.
	Okay?
	Bullets where if you went like this, you would die.
	Listen to him.
	Turn it on.
	Wait, wait, pause.
	Yeah, this is way into it.
	Is this where it starts?
	Okay, here's where it starts.
	Okay.
	Oh, they're cutting out all the...
	They're cutting out a lot.
	But did you hear that?
	No, no, no, no, no.
	Yeah.
	And then he shoots him like four times.
	He gets down, then he gets up again.
	He shot him four times in the chest.
	And I had a cop explain this to me.
	He said, if you're not getting it here, he shows where the heart is.
	Here or here.
	Oh, this is the whole thing?
	Knife down.
	If you're not getting it here or here, you've got another four minutes in you before you bleed out.
	Like, lungs, they can take a few holes.
	Kidney, uh-oh.
	Liver, oh, well, I'm not cleaning my blood as well as I used to.
	We can help you out, man.
	We can help you.
	We can help you out.
	Look at these assholes hunting criminals for sport.
	No, no, no, no.
	No!
	Oh, damn.
	That's terrible.
	No!
	No!
	Please don't, sir!
	Please don't!
	No!
	Well, it's definitely crime is what's going on here.
	Put the knife down!
	So fucked up.
	Put the knife down, sir, please!
	Please, sir!
	Please, please.
	We can help you!
	We can help you!
	Put the knife down!
	Why don't they give these guys any warnings before they shoot them?
	Don't do this!
	They just shoot them for last season.
	Put the knife down!
	This is where the video usually starts.
	Online.
	Yeah, I hadn't seen it go this long either.
	Put the knife down.
	I'm kind of you can see his beard.
	I guess it's on his shoulder.
	It's a beard cam.
	Can cops have beards?
	I think so.
	It depends.
	Every precinct, I think, is different.
	I think state troopers cannot.
	Or they could only have a mustache or something.
	I'm not a fan of state troopers, to be frank.
	Ooh, ouch.
	By the way, you know that black dude who was trying to pick a fight with us the other night?
	And he probably deals Coke.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	It wasn't.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It was the whole bar, basically.
	The guy who said, he yells at Ryan, he goes, it's a regular bar we go near the studio.
	And he goes, he got kicked out for choking out the bartender.
	And he said, I'm going to come back in my burner and kill you all.
	Wow, this guy's got really big balls.
	And we were with an undercover cop, not undercover.
	He was a cop not wearing his cop stuff.
	And he goes, I got a burner in my car too, if you want to play that game.
	He just mumbled that later.
	That was Willie.
	Did I tell you about Danny McAloon?
	No.
	Who Danny McAloon?
	Willie McAloon was the cop who was with us the first night that black dude was going nuts, right?
	I'm boxing the other day, and this old Puerto Rican guy comes up to me, or not, he comes near me and he goes, check this out.
	We got fucking Danny McAloon back from the grave hitting the bags.
	And I ran to the phone.
	I'm like, dude, someone just called me your dad.
	Oh, wow.
	Look him up.
	And I said, I talked to the guy for a long time because I'm good friends with Willie.
	And he told me about his dad, but I never knew much about him.
	And he goes, he goes, so you knew Danny McAloon?
	That's him now.
	He's dead now.
	But there's pictures of him in his boxing days.
	Oh, yeah, the one next to it.
	Blow that up.
	This one?
	Yeah.
	That's me.
	A little bit.
	I guess because boxers really have mustaches.
	And he goes, oh, my God, we used to.
	I go, so you fought him?
	He goes, yeah, it was my spawn partner.
	And I go, what was that like?
	He goes, oh, we used to fucking kick the shit out of each other.
	He was one of the greats.
	And I go, why wasn't he like he was successful, but you never really saw much about him, you know, in the news and stuff.
	And he goes, because he was a fucking drunk.
	He drank too much.
	He ruined his career with that fucking shit.
	And I'm like, tell me about it.
	I avoid beer at all times.
	Gug, glug, glug, glug, glug.
	Old Macaloon.
	Even when God sends me a warning by making me lose shit, I just spend money to make sure I can find it.
	Anyway, sorry.
	Stupid tangent.
	No, man, no.
	Hey, less lethal.
	Quick the knife out, please.
	No, no.
	Please, he's begging him.
	I think They stopped this one too, but he gets full of bullets.
	About five, right?
	Yeah, I remember being five.
	Look, he's bleeding all over the place.
	And you can tell he's got a yellow shirt on, and you can see even in the blur that the bottom half of the shirt's just red.
	Yeah.
	Tase him!
	Why do they shoot guys?
	Tase him, just tase them.
	So he's trying to kill a cop.
	Oh, no.
	Fighting with the cop.
	His cam comes up.
	Meanwhile, this cop is worried, not about his life, just about his life, but the other guy's life and his pension.
	Everything's on the line here.
	So he has to film shit and get his camera back on.
	The other one goes...
	So in the other one I saw, he gets up, he grabs.
	Oh, that's the guy.
	I've seen it from the other perspective.
	Right.
	This dude grabs the cop we just saw.
	He has him and he has his knife.
	Also, even if he had dropped the knife, the guy's going to reach down for your gun.
	It's right there.
	And you pull out the cop's gun, or you grab the cop's gun, and you shoot him in the head.
	No, that's the same guy.
	Or is it?
	No, there it is.
	Yeah, there it is.
	So then he gets that.
	That's the cop we just saw.
	And you don't know what's going on.
	He's still got the knife, right?
	He could be cutting his throat right there.
	So, oh, shit, they cut it.
	So the cop, that cop you just, that scene you just saw at the end, he gets a good shot and he shoots the guy in the head.
	And then the other cop is just lying exhausted and you're watching it going, did you just kill your fucking partner?
	I know.
	Because that, I think, happened in New York recently with that Orthodox Jew, the kosher deli.
	What the fuck is this?
	A junkie?
	This is a man saves six people in two hours OD resuscitation.
	Pretty heavy.
	I just clicked it out of interest.
	You know, all of this is just normal American behavior, but the way the media is spinning racist America and horrible America and we're not making America great again.
	It's never been great and it's at all-time worst.
	This is all just eradicated by the media.
	We're living in the Soviet Union, and the media is showing as a horrible, shitty America that is not happening.
	Let's finish this mustard, mustard gazelle.
	What, Dijon?
	This is my son, Heinz, the top ketchup in the country right now.
	This is Gray, Poupon.
	He went to, he's going to start his own university called Poupon You.
	Go to 1.7.
	He was trying to find his way.
	Wait, you have a sub, don't you?
	Yeah, no, I just have to.
	No, this is Los Angeles Times.
	I don't have that.
	I'm going to take the shields down.
	Yeah, he was just trying to find his way.
	The other one they use for that is aspiring rapper.
	I was just going through a brief criminal phase.
	I'm doing research for my career.
	For my rap career.
	I want to actually eventually get into law enforcement, and I was learning the other side.
	Right.
	Find his way.
	Aren't we all trying to find our way?
	LA Times?
	Okay, so that brings us to, yeah, that's enough of that.
	Okay, I think we can stop chatting now and start taking kiz-alls.
	Although, my problem with the call episodes is we don't see our funny final video.
	Let's look at our final videos now.
	Oh, good idea.
	So my buddy Huey just, or as they pronounce it in Scotland, Shug, just sent me this masterpiece.
	Is it?
	Yeah.
	No.
	Tanquilo, thank you.
	That was pretty good.
	Is that real, you think?
	Who knows?
	Part of me think it's 50-50 for me.
	Yeah.
	It's a little bit perfect.
	Perfecto.
	Y was tropo perfecto.
	I just, whenever I want to speak Spanish, I just speak French and then add an O at the end.
	This was, I want to know where this is.
	Can someone help me?
	Because the beach is abandoned, but it's not a lake if it's got waves like that.
	It's like New York, kind of.
	Yeah.
	Oh, never mind.
	What about friction?
	Is that a boogie board?
	The sand is going to rip the skin off your knees.
	That's the best thing I've ever seen.
	That's so awesome.
	Like, I would go there.
	If we had a week off, I would just make that my week.
	I'd get up early and do like 37 runs, work on my technique, start like waxing my boogie board.
	What's this called?
	It's like the best new sport in the world.
	All right, let's start taking some calls, yo.
	Tranquilo, tranquilo.
	Tranquilo, man, tranquilo.
	By the way, if that was true, and even if it wasn't, don't make your ex a mixed tape or the equivalent today, I guess, would be a playlist.
	She and her new boyfriend listen to that and laugh at you.
	It's over.
	It's over.
	It's over.
	It's over.
	Stop trying To get her back, and if you really want her back, shut your mouth and she'll be impressed.
	You don't care, and you might see her at a party, she might go back with you.
	You're never ever getting a girl back by going, I made you a mix.
	It's got a lot of sad songs on it, including Never Talking to You Again by Hoosker Doo.
	Okay, sorry.
	I've got to punch in a little code here.
	It's got blue by you on it.
	That's my father's favorite song.
	So last week, last week was an abomination.
	I got a lot of hate mail, not just from subs, but from the people we work with and friends of mine, people that I convinced to subscribe to the show that were enjoying it until that day.
	So a lot of shit.
	Rye guy.
	But the good news is that this happened a week ago.
	And about 20 minutes before we went on, Ryan tested it to see if he had, to try to fix it.
	Oh, yeah, you're talking about the calls.
	Well, not only that, but another thing happened.
	Somebody, you, you pose a bet.
	You say, hey, I said this Indian phrase, if you put your arm in oil and dip it in sunflower seeds or sesame seeds?
	I said sesame seeds.
	I bet a guy 50 bucks that I said sesame seeds.
	He claims I said sunflower seeds.
	Okay, well, we're about to find out.
	Oh, really?
	With the bad gateway?
	42 minutes in.
	I never lose bets.
	I'm always right.
	I said sunflower seeds.
	Same area that's been terrorizing them for centuries.
	42 minutes.
	For a change.
	If you speak to a Sikh and he's not bitching about Muslims, he's full of shit.
	There's a Sikh saying, actually, it's one of the least catchy sayings I've ever heard.
	Maybe it sounds nicer in Punjabi, but it is.
	Take your arm, dip it into oil all the way down, then cover it with sunflower seeds.
	That is the many times, that's how many times a Muslim lies in one day.
	I think you could be a little more succinct with your colloquialisms there.
	You sure could be a little more succinct with your colloquialisms.
	Or the colloquialisms of others, maybe.
	Sesame, sunflower.
	Same number of syllables.
	No, there's no way to do that.
	No, I'm saying the succinct joke doesn't work.
	So I owe that guy 50 bucks.
	He's on the line.
	His name is Victor, and that's an appropriate name because he is the victor of this bet.
	Vicki, are you on the line there?
	Bubbola?
	Victor, you there?
	Bobushkin?
	20, 30.
	Do you have change for 100?
	I don't know if he does.
	All right, we're going to have him call back, but.
	Well, good thing your phones don't work.
	Sorry, dude.
	I was going to double it, but Ryan does not work.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	It's my bad.
	Doesn't work.
	So I can't pay you.
	Oh, well.
	Could have been a sweet little 50.
	I would have paid for your drinks on a Friday night.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	What were you doing wrong?
	Shit for brains?
	I had to put in a little code and you mentioned I would have put in the code.
	Yeah, this should be it.
	Let me listen to it.
	Welcome, host.
	Okay, we're in.
	Manager caller.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Let's write down the strikes.
	Okay.
	Victor.
	Hello.
	Hello, Vicki.
	How's it going, guys?
	Good.
	I owe you 50 bucks.
	I said sunflower seeds, and it's not.
	It's sesame seeds.
	Yeah.
	I'm not a chief steak like that, so I don't really need the 50 bucks, Mr. McKinnis.
	No, a bet's a bet.
	That's a bet.
	Man's word is a man's word.
	May I barter with you?
	Can I trade you for something else so you don't have to give me your hard-earned cash?
	What's your weird accent?
	You were Iranian?
	No, I'm not.
	I'm just kind of nervous.
	Oh, that's Iranian.
	Okay, what do you want?
	All right.
	How about your sweet shirt with you and Ryan?
	Like in the watercolors.
	But like, you know, sign it and maybe do a doodle.
	Is that fair?
	Is that cool?
	Yeah, that's a good deal for me.
	Those are what, like 30 bucks.
	I save, although shipping, it's probably about the same.
	But okay, that's the deal.
	Nice.
	Thanks, dude.
	You're right.
	I'm wrong.
	Awesome.
	Thanks for calling.
	All right.
	I'll contact you after this.
	I wanted to ask you.
	Oh, you know, when you listen to Howard Stern and he says, oh, okay, thanks.
	And it's a good little wrap-up like that.
	Then they always say, just one more thing, one more thing, especially king of all blacks.
	And the one more thing always sucks.
	So it's like, one more thing, one more thing.
	If Ryan grew tits and he needed a bra, would you pay for the bra or would you burn him with a lighter?
	You're like, I don't know.
	We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
	Fuck it.
	All right.
	See you later there, Robin.
	Are we giving away anything?
	Okay.
	We have James.
	Hey, Gavin and Mayor of the Rad Zone.
	How y'all doing?
	Thank you.
	Good.
	How are you?
	Oh, not bad.
	Hey, Gavin, I had a quick question for you.
	Sorry, there's a little reverb here.
	I'm hearing myself.
	Oh, you're hearing an echo.
	What do you know?
	Ryan fixed that.
	He was working on it at 8.40 p.m. tonight after having seven days to work on it.
	Why is your shit always fucked up, Brian?
	Well, we did the test.
	I'm going to close the other tabs because before I had to close my mail, because it's a bandwidth issue as well as a RAM issue.
	And then also closing these.
	I like how he tells you what he's doing to try to figure out what's going on.
	I got a problem.
	Just to let you know, there's things going on.
	Okay.
	Is there still an echo, sir?
	Let me talk.
	Hello.
	No, there's not.
	And by the way, sorry to interrupt you, but we've had people calling in and emailing and saying, oh, I know what it is.
	You're hearing yourself through the speaker and it's looping around.
	Our speaker's in another part of the studio.
	It's very far away.
	I can barely hear it.
	And whenever I do a Skype interview with people, I do it without headphones.
	I just use that speaker.
	And there's never an echo.
	So it's not the fucking speaker.
	Please, experts, stop calling in and telling us what the shit is.
	Okay, go ahead, caller.
	Anyway, question.
	Devin, I really think that you seem like an awesome father.
	Really love your old episodes where you talk about fatherhood.
	I go through the old episodes and re-listen sometimes.
	How many kids you got?
	I have two.
	I'm 37.
	I started late.
	I have a three-year-old and a six-month-old.
	My wife is 33.
	Oh, dude, you've got at least two more.
	That's what she's saying.
	One to two more.
	And I'm sitting there telling her, baby, I'm getting old here.
	No.
	You're good.
	You know, I was talking to our tech guy today because my son built a computer.
	He's 12.
	And, of course, there's a million problems with it.
	It's not like you put it all together and just turn it on.
	So it's like rebuilding a car.
	And we've been troubleshooting for weeks now.
	We finally got it going tonight, thanks to our tech guy.
	And as he's showing us stuff, I'm showing him all the error messages.
	And he's like a tech genius.
	So he's like, oh, you got to move this here and download that.
	And while we're waiting for shit to download, I just want to flash it over to my two boys who are playing their Nintendo Switch, whatever.
	Well, one's playing, one's watching.
	And he goes, ah, shit.
	I wish my kids are young again.
	I just dropped my daughter off the first day of high school.
	And, you know, people think that they don't want too many kids or, you know, it's overwhelming.
	But believe me, when they get so old that they're, you know, independent adults, you just pine for the days that you had little kids.
	So make as many little kids as you possibly can because they don't stay little kids for long.
	That's what my wife says.
	And I guess I scare myself with the mask because being 37 years old, I think to myself, if my youngest one gets married, even at, say, 23, that I'm going to be 60 years old, you know, at a wedding.
	You could be dead.
	Who cares?
	You made him.
	And think of all those wonderful 20 years you have.
	I think you're right, sir.
	And I really do appreciate your advice.
	And I think I'm going to have to tell this to my wife.
	And she'll be, you know, ultimately it's her decision.
	I mean, she can.
	No, dude, rape her.
	Rape her.
	Just go like, oh, shit.
	Wait, did I, I guess I came.
	And then when she goes, oh, my God, I'm pregnant again.
	You go, oh, well, we'll figure it out.
	Exactly.
	Like, if you're 40 and you're talking about adopting and you got a bunch of kids, I can see the argument of like, maybe we shouldn't take this on.
	But when they're your own kids, yeah, just churn them out, dude.
	You're young.
	And I promise you you will regret not having more kids.
	I promise you.
	You know what?
	Get this.
	I'm making a deal here.
	And you know I'm good for my word.
	I paid that previous caller 50 bucks.
	If you have more kids and you regret it and you feel swamped and you can't afford them, I will take them and I will raise them as my own.
	Here's how much I love my kids.
	And, you know, pretty much every Wednesday I try to call in.
	And typically we have kind of a system going here.
	Wife's with the older son getting him to sleep.
	And younger son's usually on my shoulder.
	And I'm trying to get him not to scream as I'm speaking to you guys.
	So my wife brings that up and she tells me exactly what you're basically saying there is that we will never regret having another one, but we may regret not having another one.
	So no one's lying on their deathbed going, I wish I had less kids and I wish I worked more.
	It's not a thing.
	That's wonderful advice, sir.
	All right, buddy.
	Have a good one.
	We got...
	He's a nice man.
	Yes, of course.
	Daniel.
	Oh, your English accent makes me fucking puke.
	Daniel.
	Oh, hello, penis breathes.
	Hello.
	Today, I will say, I think what Ryan did to close down, whatever he closed down, fixed the echo because it's not just an echo.
	It repeats back to you everything that you say two seconds later.
	Yeah, that's what an echo is, Richard.
	What do you think an echo is?
	But what I'm saying, whatever he closed down, fixed it because I was covering it.
	Let's get back to your definition of an echo.
	An echo is you say something and then you hear that same thing back to you immediately after.
	Well, I guess it's the degree of the echo.
	Yeah.
	It's like, remember that episode?
	We did the stutter thing.
	Yeah, you're thinking of like a reverb or something like that.
	It's not a reverb.
	It's an echo.
	Fine.
	Fine.
	You're right.
	So now that you're educated, what's your question?
	What do you got?
	Oh, okay.
	So, you know, I've got a lot of lefty liberal friends.
	I'm an artist and musician.
	What city?
	Atlanta.
	Okay, Hotlanta.
	Yeah, it's Hotlanta, baby.
	It's crazy.
	Like, I've basically socially distanced myself from most of the people that I used to be friends with because they suck now.
	But I still got a couple of good friends that we can actually have fun and joke around with.
	So that's good.
	But you know how they like to say that black people are targeted for weed and they're just throwing black people in jail because of the color of their skin and whatnot.
	Yep.
	And I got to thinking, living in Atlanta, this is the home of the black people.
	I've been here for 14 years.
	And I have a little bit that I kind of will sneak in and say, do you really think that they're targeting blacks because of the color of their skin?
	Like, have you ever smoked weed with black people?
	White people are scared to hit a one-hitter on a road trip with the windows rolled down.
	Black people are smoking blunts on the way to the grocery store, hot boxes, you know?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And everybody, it's funny because they all laugh at it because we all have black friends, whatever we all smoke, and we have a friend like that, you know?
	And it's just a little joke.
	And it's like my little sprinkling of a red pill of reality, you know?
	And it's kind of funny.
	Just maybe a week or so ago, one of my buddies who's in a hip-hop group posted this picture.
	And it's them smoking weed at this festival they were performing at.
	And there's like cops on the railing, like looking at them.
	And the caption is, we smoke where we want.
	I sent it to the mailbag labeled black targeted by weed.
	But I texted it to my friend.
	I was like, this just is furthering my theory here.
	Just like you, Gavin, I have a lot of theories that I like to go by.
	And it's just funny to see them, you know, happen in real life.
	Yeah, there's two other things, though, with this.
	One, the data they always use is they say blacks smoke much less and do much less drugs than whites, yet they get arrested for it more.
	And that data is true.
	That's what the study shows.
	But then they redid the data with human hair, and they realized the blacks being interviewed were lying.
	And blacks actually do more drugs than whites.
	They just lied about it more.
	Secondly, I talked to a cop about this once, and he said, I don't know what it is, but when whites do drugs, they like smoke weed in their car in the parking lot, and then they close the door and run away, or they do Coke in the bathroom, and then they put it back in their pocket.
	But blacks just not only seem to be more open about their drug use, but they seem to get in more trouble when they're high.
	Like black, white people, the worst thing a white guy does when he's on Coke is talk your ear off, try to start a company with you.
	Yeah.
	Dude, we should do it Monday.
	We should do it.
	And, you know, okay, I've had black friends my whole life, you know, not like my best friends or whatever, but I hung out with black people in high school.
	And, you know, it's like, it's racist now to recognize reality.
	Like to notice reality.
	My black friends in high school, I would go to their neighborhood and we would smoke blunts right out on the street.
	I had subwoofers in my Honda Cord.
	We'd pop the trunk and blast the music.
	And I'm like, oh, you guys sure this is okay?
	And they're like, hell yeah.
	And we're just like, you know, hanging out, bumping music and smoking blunts.
	And it was a lot of fun.
	And, you know, it's a shame what all of this racist culture, whatever, that has been, that everyone's on these days has done because it's like fucks up relationships with black people and white people.
	You know what my nickname was with my friends that I used to smoke blunts hanging around the car was?
	What?
	They called me nigga Dan.
	I was nigga dan.
	And it didn't matter, you know, and it just sucks how they try and force us to, you know, be on eggshells around each other.
	You know, like my black friends, like my real black friends, we joke around about black people always being late and shit.
	It's like, I'm not treating you differently because I see you as an equal, you know, and I'm going to bust your balls.
	Yeah, that's the way it was.
	It used to all be fun jokes.
	That's the way it is at boxing gyms.
	That's the way it is at skate parks.
	That's the way it is where there's anything hard to do that takes precedence over bullshit like whatever we're told by the Huffington Post to think.
	And the left has managed to create more dissension and more segregation and more animosity.
	That's what they do for a living.
	That's their job.
	And it's a sad state of fairs.
	Anyway, thanks for calling, dude.
	I like you more than a friend.
	Good point.
	You were definitely less racist in the 80s.
	We got Jennifer Tennis.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, Rygai.
	Hey.
	Hi.
	So I think what that earlier caller was trying to say is that there was an echo of an echo.
	No, he's not saying that, my dear.
	He thought that an echo was like, hi, hi.
	What?
	What?
	R-R-H-U.
	But it was...
	It was, hi, what are you doing?
	And then 1-1,000, 2-1,000.
	Hi, what are you doing?
	But the latter is an echo.
	The first one is another type of echo, but more of a reverb.
	Like a slapback type of delay reverb.
	Well, like from my phone, it was like, hello, hello, hello.
	How about now?
	It was, no, now it's fine.
	Oh, okay.
	Earlier.
	But it was like the echo was repeating itself.
	So you mean like a triple echo, but it wasn't doing that.
	We tested it before, and every time I've heard the echo, it's you say a whole sentence, you wait three seconds, hear a whole sentence.
	Anyway, what can I do you for?
	Okay.
	Well, before I start, Gavin, can I stroke your ego for a second?
	Yeah, that's my favorite thing.
	Yeah, I figured.
	So I homeschool my kids, and for my 11th grader, well, whenever I listen to this podcast and also Inshapira, but mostly this one, if there's a word that you say that I don't know what it means, I write it down,
	and then that's my daughter's vocabulary words for the week.
	Oh, that's a good game.
	You know, you should get Heather McDonald's The War on Cops because she is a very verbose woman, and I learn a new word every chapter.
	Hey, I used verbose the other day.
	You're not listening to me, though.
	And my favorite is.
	Are you going to get Heather McDonald's The War on Cops?
	Yeah.
	Okay, good.
	Sorry.
	Okay.
	My favorite is Pulcritudeness.
	Okay.
	But I have a little gift for you.
	What about Phantasmagorics?
	That's a good one.
	That's real?
	Pulcratudeness is still my favorite.
	Okay, so I have a gift for you guys.
	I made you a little video.
	I really hope you like it.
	I just sent it to Mailbag.
	And there's no time stamp to find this time.
	So Russian won't be able to mess this one up.
	How dare you.
	Oh, and I put my picture in there just because you said you'd like to the name of Space, but I'm not asking you to write me again.
	Just so we're clear, you guys already write me last before.
	And what score did you get?
	Anyway.
	Pardon?
	What score did you get?
	Oh, what score?
	Well, you cut Ryan off before he could get his because you said his ratings were stupid and everybody hates them.
	But you gave me, I think, a 7.5 or maybe 7.4.
	What did you think of that?
	Was that fair?
	I mean.
	Oh, yeah.
	That was good?
	I loved it.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	And we got the video here.
	I mean, I'm not.
	Okay.
	Pretty woman.
	Okay.
	Thanks for calling.
	Let's check out your vid.
	Later.
	Okay.
	Okay, man.
	I identify as a toad.
	No.
	And so what I do is I get up in the morning and I start jumping.
	Wait, wait.
	Stop the presses.
	So there's the one he did on our show when I paid him a billion dollars to come by.
	Then there's the one we did the other time where we went, there's no way he's going to say toad, and he did it, right?
	That's separate to this.
	Correct.
	And now he's doing it again.
	So here's the million-dollar question.
	See, he texts me sometimes, but I can tell it's the same kind of text I get from Roger Stone, which is just, I have a movie coming out in September.
	It's going to be very good.
	He does have an anti-Trump movie coming out.
	Should I anti-Trump movie?
	I mean, sorry, pro-Trump movie.
	Yeah, that would suck.
	I feel like I'm a traitor.
	I feel like I used to be a megatoad, and now I'm a Haydn-Biden toad.
	No, he just texted me the other day.
	But all of my texts from Dinesh and why isn't that showing up?
	Oh, this new stupid phone.
	Am I closer a little bit?
	All these new...
	Oh, here we go.
	Toad.
	All these celebrities that email me now, or a lot of them, like Stone and Dinesh, I can tell they just go, okay, I'm going to take a day and I'm going to text every journalist I know or promoter and I'll promote the show.
	Because I'll always respond and be like, oh, that looks funny.
	Hey, did you fart on a Friday?
	And they're like, no response whatsoever.
	So he's got a trailer out called Trump Card.
	Yeah, that's it.
	You've seen this advertised.
	That's his new thing.
	Anyway, the million-dollar question is, does he know about the doad?
	That we've made it what it was?
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I think it's one of his bits.
	Like, just like Jordan Peterson's got the lobster.
	He's got the...
	Lobsters.
	Doads.
	You got to come up with like an animal one.
	That'd be cool.
	Yeah.
	What's yours?
	It's like we're living in a clown world, but it's full of bears.
	That's Owen Benjamin.
	Bears!
	Lobsters!
	Dods?
	I kind of like the red eff'd as an animal, but that doesn't sound cool.
	Yeah, it's tough.
	And here on, it's going to take some work.
	Yeah, well, we.
	We're like, you know, we don't call ourselves conservatives or Republicans.
	We're more like badgers.
	And we're in there ferreting around, fighting, just trying to survive.
	And people go, oh, you're violent.
	You go, no, I'm not violent.
	I'm just trying to get something to eat.
	I'm Cagey.
	You've cornered me.
	I turned to Chris Rock.
	A badger is like, I'm just trying to get something to eat.
	I just want a bit of food.
	How come every badger.
	How come every badger has a platform?
	A little bit of food.
	How come I pop my head out of a hole?
	How come I pop my head?
	He sings like he's like in a jazz trio and they're just killing it.
	And the guy's like, he's like, ha, we're kidding it.
	Yeah.
	That's like a post-nailing a scat segment sound.
	I identify as a toad.
	Wow.
	So what I do is I get up in the morning and I start jumping around like a toad.
	I'm getting a little bit of a drink.
	This reminds me of the dude who's Pat Buchanan's top researcher.
	What the fuck is his name?
	Asian guy?
	Oh, shit.
	Remember him?
	We had him on TGMS once.
	And he's like, yeah, well, he's Korean.
	And he's like, yeah, well, my problem was that I was drinking a lot of liquid back then.
	And I was like, dude, you need to call it alcohol from now on.
	Oh.
	No.
	No.
	It's going to be tough.
	What's his name?
	He was on GOML, right?
	It's got a Jewish name.
	Anyway, it doesn't matter.
	Let's do the next call.
	We're not going to finish the toad?
	Oh, well, we kind of got it, right?
	No, there's like 30 more seconds.
	Okay.
	That there are all these haters out there who don't respect my identity as a toad.
	Disney won't cast me in toad races in their movies.
	Toad races?
	I don't get...
	I'm denied rights under the movie.
	What's a toad race?
	I don't know.
	No one races toads.
	My car won't get picked up by a toad truck.
	I'm not invited to any of the story queen toad hours, the drag queen story kids, toads, toad stools.
	Constitution.
	All these People look down on me and make jokes when I come jumping by.
	You're not actually a toad.
	You are a member of Homo sapiens.
	This purpose of your life that you have ascribed to yourself.
	Wait, that stop, stop, stop.
	That might be a great drop to have.
	You are a member of Homo.
	Oh, gotcha.
	And just cut out sapiens.
	You are a member of Homo.
	We are children of fag.
	We are one part retarded, but in some ways genius.
	This purpose of your life that you have ascribed to yourself is based on some deep psychological disorders.
	That's a good drop to it.
	You have very poor self-perception of who you are as a human being.
	I identify as a toad.
	Nice.
	Oh, God.
	That was great, Jennifer.
	Thank you, Jennifer.
	He chose the one word he can't say right.
	Doad.
	Doad.
	It's sort of like our liver puddling friend with his Ds, where he goes, oi, Gav, what are you going to do about?
	And I'm like, Jesus, your Ds hurt me.
	You need to walk around with a pop filter.
	Your Ds have hurt me today.
	I don't know what you're talking about.
	All right, we're going to go to the Coles.
	Wyatt.
	Wyatt, you calling us?
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	Hey, dog.
	What's up, dude?
	Not much.
	Not much.
	Sorry about the door.
	It's okay.
	Everybody's got doors.
	So my question here is, you know, it's not really a question.
	I just have been noticing everything is black now.
	It's like we live in a predominantly black country.
	Yeah.
	Every single article I read, every movie I see, it's not a bad thing.
	I'm not saying it's terrible, but, you know, it's getting a little ridiculous, to be honest.
	Well, I'm kind of out of all this.
	Hey, watch this.
	Hold on a sec.
	Hey, computer, what percentage of the population are redheads?
	According to an Alexa Answers contributor, less than 2% of the world's population have red hair.
	That's approximately 130 million people.
	That's including China and shit.
	Computer, what percentage of Americans have red hair?
	According to an Alexa Answers contributor, red hair occurs in approximately 1 to 2% of the world's population.
	Fuck off, you cunt.
	Dumbass computer ass bitch.
	Sorry, sir.
	Computer stop.
	Okay.
	So it's like living in Ireland and everything on the news is about redheads.
	And I've noticed this with you're driving into the city every day and that every billboard is like Montefiore or whatever, the hospital.
	And it's always a surgeon who's black, a black woman.
	And then every book or every article about a new Disney project is like a black girl who's a pirate or a black girl who's an astronaut.
	And you're like, no one has a problem with a black girl being an astronaut, obviously.
	But it's fucking relentless.
	Don't you think?
	Yeah, it's getting a little overwhelming, I feel like.
	I mean, I don't know.
	I mean, when are they going to ease up on it, you know?
	Well, it becomes insulting.
	The implication is that you have a problem with that and it's blowing your mind because you would never imagine a black female astronaut and it's saying, hey, think outside the box.
	And you're like, yeah, yeah, okay, I'm outside the box.
	But when you keep saying it to me every single day, you're saying that I'm incapable of imagining a young black girl, you know, doing something cool.
	And that's insulting.
	Well, I mean, exactly.
	It's like when you bring up like, oh, well, I have a black man to explain everything for you, or explain everything to us.
	So that means he's right about race because he's black.
	Right.
	Well, it's kind of like the hate has go home here thing where what they're really saying is hate has a home in your house.
	Oh, exactly.
	When's it going to stop?
	I don't think it's ever going to stop.
	I think it's going to turn into California nationwide, and then eventually we'll just kind of go tribalist, and then, you know, we'll kind of go our separate ways.
	Well, in South Africa, they didn't go any separate ways.
	They're in a civil war.
	Well, I think if we create a civil war, I think like another country like, I don't know if China or something else will kind of come in and maybe do something because we'll be fractured, basically.
	Half of our country won't want to defend themselves.
	Well, it's funny.
	I think if I was Chinese and I was trying to destroy this country, I would say, why don't we just stop?
	Like, the coronavirus was pretty good, but look what they're doing to themselves.
	Let's just take a step back and let them completely fuck themselves because they're retarded.
	All right, thanks for calling, dude.
	It is getting crazy, though.
	Driving me nutsu.
	All right.
	We've got Torrance.
	Torrance, how are you doing?
	Hey, how's it going, guys?
	Hey, guy.
	Yeah, it's Carone.
	It's actually...
	Hey, how's it going?
	Oh, hi.
	I'm Kare.
	You what?
	I'm Kare.
	Can't hear your Kier.
	I'm Kare.
	I'm saying I don't care.
	Let's get started.
	What do you got to say?
	Oh, man.
	I'm just calling from New Zealand.
	I'm calling from Kare.
	I've got a clip on YouTube a while ago.
	I'm just calling you from Kier.
	Excellent.
	Your accent is way thicker on the phone.
	When I'm watching it on TV, I can't really hear it, but here I can't really understand you that well.
	But anyway, your political left in America is radicalizing our youth.
	What's that?
	Nothing.
	I'm radicalizing your youth.
	No, the political left in your country.
	What's the lift?
	There's a political left?
	Yeah.
	The left.
	Like the left wing.
	No, we got you.
	We got you.
	We're just teasing.
	Yeah, I think they really are.
	I think they're red pilling the globe at this point.
	Oh, yeah, for sure.
	In New Zealand, the youth here are just, we're probably 20% Māoris, which is brown people, and then the others are white and Indians and all that.
	We've got hardly any black people here, but the BLM protests are just running rapid here.
	You know, you've got discrimination against the Indigenous people here, but yet during the level 4 lockdown, the ones with the most restrictions on it, we couldn't even go to a funeral.
	They were allowing thousands of people to march down the main street of Auckland and protest for a cause that has no effect on our country whatsoever.
	It's ridiculous.
	You guys are the Maori place.
	There was no slavery.
	And as far as the Maoris go, they won.
	Exactly.
	What's funny with that is I actually go to a very liberal university, and I'm quite a Redpool dude.
	I probably associate myself with the right-wing conservative, so I get in a lot of fights there.
	But anyway, the Dutch actually came and invaded New Zealand and were trying to take over land, and the Maldives went to sign a treaty with the English people, and they couldn't sign that treaty fast enough to get the Dutch out of New Zealand.
	And then they signed that treaty, and then, you know, the English are like, well, in that treaty, you said you're going to give us land.
	And then the Maldives that actually were with the Dutch trying to take over the Maldives with the English, were like, no, you can't do that.
	That's where the land war started.
	And it's ridiculous.
	People don't actually know the history properly.
	And now they're trying to equate slavery in America with oppression here.
	And it's just, it's baffling.
	It's ridiculous.
	Well, correct me if I'm wrong.
	The story I got was the English came to New Zealand.
	And maybe it was the Dutch, maybe I got it wrong.
	The Europeans came to New Zealand and they went, oh, this is going to be an easy island to take over.
	There's no one fucking here.
	There's just a bunch of mounds of sand on the beach.
	And then they got closer and the mounds of sand exploded into human beings with women's field hockey sticks who then just went and started killing everyone.
	They said, oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.
	We're not colonizing this place.
	Can we do a deal?
	And they go, yeah, maybe.
	Give me some billion, million dollars, and you can live over there.
	Well, kind of.
	It kind of went like that.
	The first people to come to New Zealand were different.
	Like they were French, they were Dutch, they're Englishmen.
	They all came down here for whaling and sealing.
	So they were fishing up whales and seals and they're actually docking in a place called Russell, which is at the top of New Zealand.
	And that was the hellhole of the Pacific.
	There was no law and order there.
	And, you know, people were just killing, raping, pillaging, whatever around there.
	And also at that time, the Dutch were trying to influence their power into the region.
	And the English had already had some sort of pacts with the tribes in Russell.
	So they formed an alliance with the northern Māori tribes and tried to drive out the Dutch who were actually trying to colonize the country.
	And the Dutch were trying to colonize the country with other Māori tribes trying to move their way up.
	They keep pronouncing Māori Moldi.
	Māori, yeah.
	That's how they pronounce it in their dialect and their pronunciation.
	They pronounce Maori Moldi?
	Māori, yeah.
	So are you speaking in their language the same way people say Nicaragua and Costa Rica?
	Yeah, kind of.
	Wait, come on.
	Sorry.
	Yeah, the pronunciation is Māori.
	Okay, so they got the Moldis.
	But am I right when I say that the Moldis were not victims, they won.
	Yeah, they won.
	So they can't even talk about Aboriginal oppression here.
	Yeah.
	It gets confusing because there were some tribes that were against English invasion and there were the Māori tribes that were with the English to work with them to help.
	Because the Māori tribes weren't united.
	There were hundreds of tribes in New Zealand that weren't united.
	And some Māori tribes, along with the British, wanted to take over the other Māori tribes.
	Huh.
	All right.
	Well, I think we got it.
	And we're sorry for red pilling you.
	It gets kind of fusing.
	But it is amazing that all of these countries are jumping on board.
	And it shows that it's got nothing to do with black oppression or of George Floyd or anything.
	It's fashion.
	This whole thing is the same as the punk invasion of 1977, where you had punks in New Zealand and punks in Australia.
	And it wasn't about working class oppression.
	It was about fashion.
	It was a hot new trend.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, mate.
	Have fun pronouncing the word six.
	What's it called?
	What's it called?
	One hour.
	Marcus is on.
	Marcus Epstein.
	Marcus Epstein.
	Can you fix that?
	I've tried.
	I've gone to speech therapy a lot.
	Oh, you mention it?
	That's how you start out the interview.
	When people are half Asian, I'm always suspicious because their eyes look like this.
	But that's just...
	You're lacking epicanthic folds, right?
	I suppose that's why.
	Yeah.
	How do you tell when Chinese people are stoned?
	I guess you have to go by how they act, not how they look.
	Yeah.
	Maybe just kind of that way, we go out to West.
	How are you doing?
	I'm doing well.
	What are you doing in New York?
	You know what else I found I stumbled across?
	What?
	The first time we ever spoke to one another.
	I called in and I told you about a dream I had.
	This is also the first time I've ever cared about this meeting.
	Do you have to listen really well?
	Oh, I thought of a good one to do the other day.
	Remember when I was up near the fag zone?
	What was this three days ago?
	And I went into your shitty, disgusting apartment.
	And as I was walking out, you said, oh, okay, I got to go check my mail.
	And I just went, whatever.
	But I should have said, oh, I'm just going to check my care.
	Yeah.
	Oh, didn't get any.
	That would have been a good one.
	What a waste.
	Oftentimes, when you say the care thing, it sounds like you do care because you're like, My name is Care.
	Yeah, I know, but that's the beauty of it, it's so ingrained that you know when you hear the word care, you don't.
	It's like you care so little, you're not even trying to be correct about it.
	I'll never beat the one at Vice where the sales guy was leaving, and we totally treated the sales team like shit, the editorial board, and they hated that.
	And he was leaving with a client, and we, just for fun, it was this guy, I forget his name, Adam or something.
	He was a sales guy, and it's a shitty thing to do because he was paying my rent.
	And I go, hey, Adam!
	And he's like, oh, what the fuck?
	The editorial team's talking to us.
	And he goes, uh, hey, hey, who's that?
	And he goes, oh, this is a guy.
	He works for iHeartRadio.
	He works with all of the radios in the country.
	And then I go, oh, does that involve C-A-R-E-F-M?
	I might as well retire after that.
	Yeah, that should have been.
	Like, you're done.
	Why continue?
	Why, oh, fuck?
	Why do another care joke ever again?
	You've absolutely nailed it, Mama.
	You dancing to do they work with me.
	C-A-I-E-F-M.
	And that sails afloat on blue by you.
	You want to hear this call or Nay?
	Sure.
	One second, he's almost there.
	He's the shyest guy in New York.
	Shy.
	Shy, Rye guy.
	You have to listen really, really closely.
	Do you know this guy?
	I can tell he's super shy.
	Bye-bye.
	Hey, buddy.
	Come on out.
	You're talking to me.
	Yeah.
	Just say it real quiet.
	It's okay, Ry.
	Maybe he's speaking in sign language.
	Okay.
	Ryan, we can't see you, sweetie.
	We don't know what that.
	You know, black sign language is different than white sign language?
	No, but that's really interesting.
	Yeah.
	They do it like it.
	And neither of them are English.
	Did you just make that up?
	No.
	Ryan's out.
	Ryan, are you there?
	Yeah, that's there, sir.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	How are you, sir?
	Fantastic.
	Good morning.
	Yeah, and a peculiar thing happened this morning.
	I woke up from a dream with you getting kicked out of the Emmys or Grammys or some award show for wearing a mask.
	And this is as I'm unaware of exactly what happened at the stand.
	So almost like an alarm clock.
	My buddy wakes up, watch Gavin's show, and then you start talking about what happened at the stand.
	And it's quite the opposite of the dream, but peculiar.
	That is very peculiar.
	Thanks for calling, Ryan.
	That was amazing.
	A psychic.
	Wow.
	On Witch's Day, he called that.
	So I knew you were boring from the second I met you.
	No, but that is a peculiar thing.
	No, it's not.
	You don't get what happened?
	I didn't know that you got kicked out of the stand, and I had a dream right before waking up that you got kicked out of a place.
	For putting on a mask, what you did was actually take off an article of clothing.
	Maybe your penis is a mask, and you're hiding your true skin.
	I did a comedy set at the stand.
	The guy before me was Aaron Berg, and he talked about how disgusting foreskins are.
	And I said, it's kind of hard to come out here after seeing a foreskin lambasted like this.
	I mean, they're not that bad.
	And then I pulled my dick out of my pants.
	What was the initial reaction?
	They would gasp.
	There was some laughing, but the management was fucking furious and said you could never set foot here ever again.
	Ugh, lame-os.
	I do like the...
	The manager, or not the manager, but whatever, the main guy's quote was, he goes, you know, I've had your back a lot over the couple years I've known you, and we've been close, but now I have to turn my back on you.
	Oh my god.
	I have to turn my care on you.
	I'm done.
	Today's drawing.
	What do you think?
	Oh, nice.
	We're both wearing this shirt and then it says it in the background.
	I look sexy.
	You want me to focus it?
	Okay.
	I've had two beers and two glasses of whiskey.
	I don't have to pee.
	That'll be at the doodle auction shortly.
	But the one there now has got a lot of shit.
	I was a little disappointed in the last one.
	I didn't put up enough drawings.
	It comes in ways, these things.
	I'm disorganized.
	But with all those John Kinsman doodles, I'm pretty excited about the next WAV.
	Do you miss the Doodle Cam?
	Is that why?
	Like, you feel like...
	No.
	Okay.
	But we do.
	To make a good drawing takes about an hour, right?
	This is why I could never be a cartoonist.
	This is one panel.
	And it's not even, like, there's no background in it.
	So this is one panel out of nine.
	So that's nine hours a page.
	And unless you're getting paid fucking, you know, as a grown man, fucking $50,000 for a graphic novel, it's not minimum wage.
	Although that's my plan.
	When everything's over, I'm totally extinguished and I'm completely canceled and I can't stick my head out without it getting shot off.
	I'm going to do a graphic novel.
	I am never going to financially recover from this.
	We have James.
	There goes James.
	What's up, Haynes?
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, Ryan.
	How are you?
	Good.
	You sound like you might want to get a job in a zoo.
	So I was calling, are you familiar with what's going on out here in California about statues and of Juniper O'Sarah and what's going on with the missions out here in terms of the history behind them and they're trying to get them taken down?
	I think we touched on that, right?
	Well, we're obviously very familiar with the entire statue debate, but no, I don't know this.
	Jesus Christ.
	So they're trying to take down a saint here?
	Did you see the saint that was that what's her name?
	Alexandria Christikotez.
	AOC wanted to take down a saint from the Hawaiian saint who worked at a leper colony for like 50 years.
	What?
	In Molokai, yeah.
	Molokai, right, yeah.
	Yeah, it's, it's, uh, there's this huge, you know, wave of people trying to get these statues.
	You know, they're being vandalized and taken down.
	The town that I live in, we just had to Take down a statue in front of City Hall and change the city seal because they're, I don't know, offended by this.
	But this guy essentially founded a ton of towns across California.
	I mean, huge influence.
	What was his name?
	Who was he?
	Father Yannipero Serra.
	Oh, that's the guy they just showed.
	So they called him a saint because he helped build the state that you live in.
	Pretty much, yeah.
	That is really incredible.
	There's been, yeah, and there's been tons of vandalism on these missions, which are actually churches.
	And it's all part of this anti-Christian sentiment that's going on in California right now with the media trying to shame people for holding church services on the beach.
	There's a pastor that is having an injunction served against him like 20 minutes away from me.
	It's just sad.
	Well, that's what this is all about.
	It's not about Robert E. Lee was pro-slavery and slavery is bad.
	It's about I hate America.
	I hate Western culture.
	I hate this whole part of the world.
	The West is not the best.
	The West is the worst.
	And the funny thing, like, I get the argument with Christopher Columbus, though I don't agree with it.
	You're just dumb and you hear that he chopped off Aboriginals' hands and you go, well, he was mean.
	You just don't get that.
	That's what life was like back then.
	But whenever you look up at Saint, you know, like Saint Malachi, you don't see anything like that.
	There's no hand chopping.
	There's just giving, giving, giving.
	Like, Malachi ended up with leprosy at the end of his tenure there and died of it.
	But no, I just don't like him.
	I don't like saints.
	He looks like a slave owner.
	So I guarantee you that this saint, this guy, I've never heard of before, I guarantee you there's no skeletons in his closet.
	Yeah, the Catholic Church, I think they just made him an apostle in the midst of all this.
	And all this came up within like a week after the George Floyd thing.
	Like they start taking down Confederate statues and then it turns into like what you were saying just earlier where it's like a fashion trend.
	You know, now it's and some, you know, it's got to be anti-Christian.
	It's an anti-Christian thing that's going on.
	And you know, I was pretty early on the statue thing and I said it's a bad move.
	And the reason I said it's a bad move is because where does it end?
	And here we are.
	You started with your argument that I didn't agree with but I got, where you said, I don't want pro-slavery guys to be put on a pedestal.
	Okay, look, it's all part of our history, but I see what you're saying.
	And then you gave them that, and it's give them an inch, take a mile, and then they wanted to take down this statue, that statue, St. Malachi, St. Juniper.
	And now they're just destroying our history.
	Remember the good old days when the winners wrote history?
	Now the losers are writing history.
	Yeah, it's just sad because you can see it becoming a huge snowball effect, especially out here because so many things are named after conquistadors.
	So much of the Mexican history across here in California is based off of conquistadors.
	That's what Mexicans are.
	If you're not a midget, a little brown midget, and you're Mexican, you're a conquistador.
	And you fucking killed the little brown midgets.
	All right, man, thanks for calling.
	It's a disgusting scenario.
	At least we're red-pilling new Kiwis, though.
	This article here, they took the cross off the seal, the comments, I was just curious.
	And somebody commented this.
	I'm with you, Jay, and may I suggest that you replace the letter, but they put every asterisk instead of the T. I find crossing crucifixes to be offensive, microaggressive, and discomforting.
	So he asterisks all his T's.
	That's funny.
	That's a good angle.
	Wait, isn't the flag of England, isn't it a cross?
	The big ass cross.
	Yeah, yeah, wait.
	Yeah, that the red cross thing?
	England.
	This is England.
	Oh, there's two of them.
	One's the Union Jack shit for brains.
	But that red cross, that's the Christian cross.
	And then the Scottish flag is an X, but I think it's the crucifixion or something of Saint Andrew.
	So that is a cross of sorts, too.
	Because he was like this.
	You know?
	I'm pretty sure that's the origin of the Scottish flag.
	I think you're right.
	I mean, how many crosses are in flags?
	Hey, computer, how many countries use a Christian cross in their flag?
	She's not going to get that flag.
	I'm not sure.
	Yeah.
	Hey, computer, are you really worth the money?
	She's basically just like, what's the population of Chile?
	That's all she can do.
	Hey, computer?
	Hey, computer, will robots run the world one day?
	Here's something I found on the web.
	According to the computer song.org.
	Hey, computer, I have a web too.
	Hey, computer.
	You come across as a bitch.
	That's what I think.
	Alright, let's do one more.
	We're in overtime.
	Look at the shitty drawings you don't get.
	We have the 30 calls waiting.
	Lucky Sammy Dunes.
	Yo.
	Yo.
	Mountain?
	Yes.
	Yeah, I know where those dunes are.
	Oh, cool.
	Where?
	It's called McAllister Park.
	It's just across the pond on Long Island.
	You're kidding me.
	Look that shit up.
	Let's do it.
	I used to go there when I was a kid, dude.
	That's badass.
	Yeah.
	Send me a t-shirt for that income.
	No joke.
	How is it not packed?
	Was that like, was that, I don't know, Christmas morning at 5 a.m.?
	Told you it was New York.
	I don't know, dude.
	I don't know.
	When you would go there, was it ever empty like that?
	Looks empty right now.
	I don't know.
	We used to take the boat and kind of dock and then swim in.
	It was usually decently packed, but we were pretty little.
	But it's fucking sick there, man.
	You got to take your kids, man.
	Can you get there by not boat?
	Yeah, you can take the ferry into Port Jeff and then just walk there or take the taxi or whatever.
	Are you stone?
	Yeah, I'm stone and I'm drinking maple.
	Nice.
	So you're both sort of out of it and also at the same time delivering valuable information.
	Listen, if I could, I would bomb a sand dune.
	Bong a sand dune.
	Nice.
	Did you ever do what that guy did?
	Not quite.
	I was pretty young, but we definitely used to slide down on like cardboard and shit.
	I guess you can get your knees and you can do it in a way where none of your body's touching the sand.
	Yeah, you know what?
	You got to steal from the cafeteria one of those trays.
	Yeah, but those trays would just cover this.
	I got this, this, what are you, Ryan Ketsu Rivera?
	Hey.
	No, I'm six feet, but I was pretty young when I used to go there, you know, but your kids could do it for sure.
	It's an hour from here.
	All right, we're going to check it out.
	From Penn Station to there.
	Thanks for calling, dude.
	I love when that happens.
	But so that guy called in and he showed us that place.
	We now have it.
	We can check it out.
	And we were just there.
	I was just there.
	I was in, what's it called?
	Where was I?
	The Salts or something?
	The Springs.
	Springs, New York.
	Look up Springs, New York and that thing.
	Dukes?
	I bet I was like 20 minutes away, Max.
	Springs, New York.
	Oh, no, you were over the...
	Oh, I was way the fuck at the show.
	You can show people.
	The tippity tip.
	Yeah, I was a million miles away.
	You've been to Gardener's Island?
	I don't think so.
	That looks kind of tight.
	Did I tell you I went to visit my buddy Steamfitter from the Knights of Columbus?
	I mentioned that on the show, right?
	And he's in like Andy Warhol's house.
	Not literally, but it looks like that.
	And I'm like, what the fuck?
	This is steam fitting?
	And he goes, what are you talking about?
	I go, you're a steam fitter.
	Look at this fucking mansion.
	He's got that New York, grew up in house kitchen accent.
	It's all right.
	What are you talking about?
	And I go, how much do they pay steam fitters?
	He goes, steam fitters?
	I did that as a joke.
	That was a hobby.
	I'm in commercial real estate.
	That's where I made my money.
	I was like, oh, shit.
	Wow.
	I need some good money.
	Get what you fucking deserve.
	A really nice house if you work for it.
	All right.
	Let's take only one more call.
	Oh, okay.
	This is the encore, Alex.
	What's going on, guys?
	Hey, guy.
	Hey, man.
	Hey, guys.
	Yeah, just a PEI here.
	So I had to write this down.
	Isn't that funny?
	Okay, so how did you get rid of your stage fright?
	I get stage fright.
	Oh, okay.
	You should try a thing called Budweiser.
	That helps.
	This is stage fright doing what?
	Stand-up, being in a band?
	What?
	I'm just, well, even calling in, I got a little fucking nervous.
	All right, well, that's none of our concern.
	But where else do you get it?
	Or is that why you're calling?
	What do you want?
	It's public speaking.
	Yeah, it's public speaking.
	So, yeah, it's a little personal question.
	Okay, well, my advice to you would be the same reason.
	Like, my wife doesn't like to go to parties if she doesn't know people.
	And I go, honey, who cares?
	Fuck these people.
	Like, let's go in there.
	We get kicked out.
	Say it's boring.
	We go, this is boring.
	Like, you know, the song Punk Rock Girl by the Dead Milkman?
	They go in and they just start fucking with people.
	And we said, we asked if you have Mojo Nixon.
	And they said he don't work here.
	And we said, if you don't know Mojo Nixon, then your store could use some fixed.
	Just like, you don't care what these people think.
	They're not better than you.
	Imagine them naked in black socks if that helps.
	But also, bombing is fun.
	It's an experience.
	Get out there.
	Experience life.
	And if I don't like you, who gives a fuck?
	What's going to happen?
	You know?
	You got to remember that everyone sucks.
	Everyone is a loser.
	You're not better than them, but they're not better than you.
	We're all just fuck-ups bumbling around.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	That was good advice.
	You get kicked out of the party?
	Good.
	They'll never invite you back.
	That's not the kind of people you want to hang out with.
	Wait, go back to that video.
	It's a good example of how you should go through life.
	I think I know that person.
	Is that that one where you can see the older people killed himself, by the way?
	That's the one that you went to, in Philly or something?
	Yeah, in where is that?
	In Pittsburgh, some Pennsylvania place?
	What's the place?
	It's Philadelphia.
	We went to a shopping.
	This is it.
	This is what I'm talking about.
	No more record shoppers.
	We have a record.
	Hey, done.
	Wait, is that the only video?
	They cut it out?
	No, this is it.
	I remember this so much cooler in my mind.
	It should be video shot in a prison.
	No, see the punk pot girl.
	I hope that's not the one who killed himself.
	He's really talented.
	And she's a two.
	Alright, let's do one more call.
	Kate's B. That's probably not the name, but that's what I'm reading here.
	Hey, Kate.
	It's HB.
	Hey, guys.
	What's up, Kate?
	No, anyway, so I'm down here in Virginia.
	Just a quick couple of quick notes.
	First of all, all the young men need to get married and have babies.
	Yes.
	I only had two because some shit went down.
	But my dad came to America in 1954 with nothing.
	And he went to college.
	He got my mom to come over.
	And he became chief of the whole fucking U.S. Border Patrol.
	Right.
	And he retired.
	And his five kids had 24 grandchildren.
	Right.
	So we all live around here.
	He's got a great legacy.
	And he just told, but he's 90 now.
	And he's still all with it.
	He's a big MAGA guy.
	And he calls me every day.
	But he talks for like five seconds.
	It's hilarious.
	He goes, what are you doing?
	I go, I'm working.
	He goes, all right.
	Did you see that Trump thing?
	He goes, all right, goodbye.
	He hangs up.
	It's kind of funny.
	Yeah.
	I bet his showers.
	I bet his showers take about eight seconds.
	Yeah, right.
	So anyway, he's been telling us crazy fucking stories from his past that he just is remembering all of a sudden that we never heard before.
	Where's he from?
	So what we heard the other day was he's from Dublin.
	Both my parents were born in Dublin.
	Okay.
	And here's just a little anecdote, right?
	Check this out.
	My old man, his grandfather got, you know, conscripted in the British Army and was actually in South Africa and fought in the fucking Boer War with, what's his name?
	Winston Churchill.
	No shit.
	Wow.
	I have his fucking medals here on my desk in my office.
	Anyway, so he's telling the story and my sister happened to be there recording it.
	He goes, well, you know, when I was about nine, my mom and me were getting on the bus in Dublin and we were heading down to the shop and some fucking IRA guy gets on the goddamn bus, starts waving a gun around.
	My mom takes a swing at him and he fucking shoots her in the arm.
	Holy shit.
	It was fucking hilarious.
	That's incredible.
	Does he still have an action?
	So his, my mom, my mom had hers until she passed away about five years ago.
	But my dad, no, it's kind of gone.
	But if he gets around Irish people, it'll kind of come out a little bit.
	He's a hoot and a half, man.
	And just one little note that's cool.
	He's only one of 12 guys who have ever been chiefs of the U.S. Border Patrol.
	Whoever been what?
	Chief of the U.S. Border Patrol.
	Oh, that's amazing.
	Wow.
	You should get him that book, Hero of the Empire.
	No, I got it for him.
	He's already read it.
	Oh, great.
	Like, I don't like Churchill.
	I think he was a warmonger because of that war.
	I think he always felt like a pretty, not a pretty boy, but a little rich kid.
	And he always wanted to make his mark to a fault and got a lot of men killed.
	But it's still a great book.
	Yeah, it really is.
	So, anyway, well, thanks for having me on the show.
	It's always good to talk to you guys.
	And by the way, I know a friend of yours out in St. Louis by the name of JT.
	We used to work together.
	What's his name?
	I don't know if that rings a bell.
	JT?
	JT who?
	Well, I don't want to say his name.
	So I'm such a pariah that I can't have known someone.
	Yes.
	No, no, no, no.
	I just didn't want it going out.
	And that's all.
	But why would that be bad if I had known someone?
	JT Lemieux once knew Gavin McInnes.
	Fire him.
	No, his name's James Taylor.
	He lives out, and he used to be a punk guy.
	He used to play the guitar in a punk band.
	Then he quit and just doing other stuff.
	He's married now with a kid.
	It's not ringing a bell.
	And he said he knew you.
	I think I knew.
	Well.
	I might.
	No?
	No?
	All right.
	Thanks for calling anyway.
	Later.
	JT's a liar.
	Yeah.
	Okay, one more call, then we got to go.
	Okay.
	We've got three minutes and 50 seconds.
	Oh, shit.
	What a card space.
	Sean?
	Let it be known that I didn't fucking pussy out the card did.
	That's correct.
	What's up, Sean?
	Hello?
	Hey, dude.
	Oh, what's up, man?
	Yeah, so this is a call about the fag zone.
	So I'm curious, what kind of fag zone accoutrement does Ryan use in order to light up the mood when he invites guys over?
	Well, there's no fag zone.
	You should see the light collection he has.
	He's got this weird hexagonal thing that lights up.
	He's got a rock?
	Don't you have a rock that lights up?
	Himalayan sea salt.
	Himalayan sea salt rock.
	Cockrings?
	No, there's no cockrings.
	There's probably cockrings hidden somewhere, but he's never had money before.
	He's enrich.
	And he's got like a humidor.
	He's got a portable leather cigar carrier.
	And a permanent one.
	He's got a fucking clip for his Crocs that goes on his backpack.
	He put pictures on his wall that are just like what you do when you're 13, like just from a magazine and you pin it there with a tack.
	There you go.
	They're on the right.
	That's them on the right in the fag zone.
	That thing you see with the trees, it's not like it's well done or it's nice.
	It's a fucking cheap, chintzy, like print with wrinkles on it.
	And then he's got a picture next to him that that's actually a window curtain thing, but they're different times.
	So is it night or is it day or is it day or is it night?
	We don't know.
	Depends where you're looking.
	And then I got that dark IKEA print there that when I got to take the line.
	It's disgusting, dude.
	It's just as bad and as embarrassing.
	And it reeks and there's just piles of laundry.
	I can't believe anyone, any woman has ever been there.
	It's awesome.
	Which is why it's the fag zone.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	Let's do one more call, then we got to wrap it up.
	I don't think we have.
	Okay, we don't have time?
	Let's push it to the limit.
	One more.
	All right.
	Hello?
	Kyle, this better be quick, goddamn you.
	Boy, what are you doing?
	Damn my cabin.
	Damn it, Makabat.
	What are you doing?
	There's a black woman in the street.
	Okay.
	What?
	I don't know.
	Hey, Gavin, I want to tell you hop along Tibetan pop stars.
	And I want to know your best case scenario for America.
	Huh.
	We're just going to ignore the Tibetan pop stars thing.
	That's a band.
	Hop along Tibetan pop stars?
	Wow, we're really taking a lot of calls today.
	The best case for America is that we see what they want.
	We see what the far left wants, and it's not a different thing.
	Like if Amish were rioting, we'd go, all right, Amish, what do you want?
	And they go, get away from technology.
	Build your own homes with wood.
	Don't have so many machines everywhere.
	And we'd be like, wow, get more into carpentry.
	Don't drink.
	Don't do drugs.
	Oh, okay.
	You have a plan.
	I see.
	You want a different system.
	And they wouldn't win because they'd be wrong, but at least it would be an argument.
	And the left has no argument, as Stefan Molyneux would say.
	So what we're seeing right now is their version of events, and it's just fucking absolute destruction.
	And so I think this is good because, as that New Zealand caller said, we're red-pilling the entire world.
	Everyone is seeing what life is like with the far left, and it's absolute chaos.
	So Trump is going to win.
	Law and order will finally get its due.
	And in about two years, being a cop will be the greatest job that you can ever have because we will have seen firsthand what life is like without law and order.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	You must wear your mask.
	You have to wear your mask.
	You must wear your mask.
	You have to wear your mask.
	I was set up.
	I was set up.
	And so you're not supposed to get set up.
	As it turns out, it wasn't set up.
	So I take responsibility for falling for a setup.
	I don't wear a mask when I'm washing my hair.
	Do you wear a mask when you're washing your hair?
	I've been there many, many times.

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