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May 4, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:23:28
S02E158 - LIBERAL FAILS [2020-05-04 - S02E158 - LIBERAL FAILS]
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That was a Stranglers, one of my favorite bands.
Played it a lot on my honeymoon.
We rented a car and drove around Europe, and that was what was on the shuffle.
But the keyboardist guy, who I think was the songwriter too, Dave Greenfield, just croaked.
Can you switch the viewfinder there?
He croaked at the age of 71.
So they say it's coronavirus, but like when my grandmother was on her deathbed, if a fly landed on her nose, she was going to die.
So, yeah.
He had a brutal heart condition.
And that was the end of that.
I think the Strangler split recently.
So it was him, Dave Greenfield on the keyboards doing a set.
And then the other guys, the guy with the deep voice, the singer, that wasn't the singer you just heard, who was like, down on the peaches, just look at all the peaches.
What was that song they have about ugly?
I changed the song at the last second, so I'm not prepared today, I'm afraid.
I was going to do Generation X because I just found out that the song Paradise Witch One is Paradise West 1.
And I couldn't find, I couldn't, this is a very hard thing to research.
It's only the children of the wealthy that tend to be good looking.
That's the song ugly.
But I was thinking, how come lyrics are so easy to find now?
Like Paradise West 1 by Generation X. I remember being a kid and moving the needle back and moving the needle back and moving the needle back, trying to get the songs right.
And I was reading the lyrics this morning and I wasn't even close.
It's not Paradise Witch One, dumbass.
But yeah, I was all prepared to talk about Gen X and then the Stranglers died.
You know, the Stranglers, I've told this a million times, but they used to beat the shit out of people who gave them bad reviews.
Like they'd go to his house and beat him up.
Those were the good old days where there was ramifications.
I've been watching videos all weekend.
There's all this like, what?
Step back, step back.
Or there was a, I was watching some talk some guy gave and Antifa shows up going, donga, ding, dong, ding, with a bell.
And even the security guards are sitting there hamstrung.
They can't do anything.
Like, just if someone brings a bell to your thing, you just grab them by the shirt and throw them outside.
This is why I get accused of advocating for violence when I just use common sense 1980s stuff.
Someone's fucking with you.
You say, stop fucking with me.
You don't go, that's assault.
Or this phone shit.
I mean, it's good content for the show, but constantly fucking pulling out your phone and catching, shaming someone.
It's such like a shame, shame Game of Thrones thing to do.
Just like I saw another video earlier where this woman was, she apparently had been racist to a couple.
And this guy, this Irish tough guy, was following her around with the camera saying, why don't you do that, Karen?
Like, just, you don't need to document it.
Just go up to her and say, what the fuck's your problem?
You're kicking that.
Like, just say it like a man.
You don't need to get it on Facebook.
I had the most intense night of my life on that last night.
Nightmares.
I mean, I have a very vivid imagination and I'm jealous of people like Ryan because when they have nightmares, it's just like, there's a lot of snakes around.
You have like Mexican nightmares.
No, that is a Mexican nightmare, but no idea.
Yeah, you are a Mexican nightmare.
But my dreams were like I had to pack this bag and I lost $17,000 and there was a big tumbler of cocaine that I had that I didn't want the kids to see.
And then that woman was in my bed and my kids were there too.
And they hated me for cheating.
And my father-in-law shows up and says I thought he'd be up by now and I couldn't get out of bed.
And this guy I threatened a long time ago shows up with a handgun.
He's trying to kill me.
Holy shit.
What a night.
It was brutal.
And this studio is brutal.
Can we crack that window with that hammer or something?
Yeah.
I'm fucking dying in here.
We got to get it.
We got to find an AC tomorrow.
Oh, and then I talked to my wife and I had to sleep in another room because she was snoring and my son crawled into bed and I was down to a sliver.
And she goes, oh, I was just dreaming that I was shopping for sunglasses and I had a scarf on my head and the sunglasses kept slipping off.
And I was like, why will they slip off?
They look so good up there.
Terrifying.
She's like, I was shopping last night.
But I couldn't figure out what it was.
I watched the movie Extraction before I went to bed.
Was it that?
It's really fucking good.
But it's about Chris Helmsworth Thor, the guy who played Thor, Australian dude.
He goes to rescue a kid just as a job, as a mercenary.
But it's two drug dealers warring and one of them takes the other one's kid.
Look how shitty his tattoos are.
That's the beginning.
They CGI'd him into a hole.
But they kill kids in it.
The death toll is through the roof.
Look at this.
People getting impaled with pitchforks.
So...
I don't trust her, by the way.
I haven't finished it yet, actually.
I'm only halfway through.
This is an extraction.
But I watched that before I went to bed.
Is that why?
Yeah, it seems pretty intense.
Holy shit, is it intense?
I also was doing a lot of Adderall last week, and I had a sore back all weekend.
And I looked it up, and apparently you have this fight-or-flight thing with amphetamines where the base of your back is always tense because you're ready to jump out of the way of a monster.
So those muscles get exacerbated.
Do you clench your teeth?
Like your jaw hurts?
No, I don't take very much.
But I also didn't drink whiskey last night for the first time in a week.
So there might have been maker's withdrawals.
They also say you shouldn't eat before bed because your body is now digesting the food and it should be so it's working and it's not really sleeping, it should be replacing cells.
But then I'm thinking, isn't having a beer drinking eating before bed?
Yeah, anything over 80 calories, you're starting your body's process of digesting.
Like a maker, one shot is only 69 calories, but no one has one shot of whiskey.
A thing with ice.
Oh, it's the old-timey fireman.
Get out of here, you no-good doer.
There's been a fire.
The little tumbler you get, that's probably three shots.
So that's 210 calories.
And if you have three of those, you've had a hamburger right before bed.
Maybe that's why I'm getting so fat.
Yeah, the intermittent fasting, that'll cut about 12 pounds off you, I bet you, in like two months.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I have to do it because my suits don't fit anymore.
That's not good.
No, that's thousands of dollars down the road.
That's crazy.
Yeah, that's not good.
And I don't think they can expand.
Can they expand your waistline?
The tailor?
Well, I have this linen suit that has these little belt buckle things on either side.
Yeah.
But those are maxed out.
That's crazy.
I should have got like a 37 and then you can cinch it.
Yeah.
Because I have no room for growth.
It's time to stop getting fat.
Also in the news this weekend, I took my two boys to the park to hit the ball around.
We were a little overdressed.
I didn't know it was going to go up to 80 degrees on Saturday.
But, you know, there's a movie, the newest Rambo.
He goes to save his niece.
And you see this trope a lot in sort of vigilante movies.
She's a prostitute and she's on heroin.
And he goes to get her and she doesn't really know who he is.
And he wants to rescue all the other girls, open up all the other doors.
And they're all just like, what's going on?
And I said to my eldest boy, I go, all right, turn off Fortnite.
Why?
I'm playing with people.
He knows that's a good defense because I like him to socialize, obviously, in this time.
And I go, because I said so.
And then the other boy, I take away his iPad.
This is after hours.
And so the youngest boy, the seven-year-old, is just lethargic, sitting in the living room chair, just like, I'm so tired.
And then the other boy, I go, get your shoes and socks on.
Let's go.
And he's like, looking for socks?
What?
And it was honestly 20 minutes to get shoes and socks on.
As they're like, well, I don't have it.
And then he's looking, Johnny's looking for a shirt.
And he's like, I don't like, and he has way too many shirts.
My wife's a hoarder.
So when you open up his t-shirt drawer, they come out like insulation foam.
And he's just like, what?
No, I can't find one.
I can't.
I'm like, you can't find one.
You can't not find one.
So I just grab one and put it on him.
I'm getting pissed off at this point.
I'm doing that old dad thing.
I'm like, guys, I'm getting angry.
And I'm giving you lots of warnings.
Don't make me raise my voice.
We're getting up there.
We're almost at the boiling point.
You have COVID now.
I hope not.
For everybody at home, I don't say bless you because he doesn't say bless you or thank you when I say it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not a superstitious Swede.
Let me guess, you don't lift your legs when you go above a railroad track?
It's like demons could get in after the sneeze.
So you put a little god force field.
Oh, I thought it was because your heart stops momentarily.
No, because it doesn't.
Anyway, so I take him to the park, and Johnny doesn't want to play.
The way we play is I'll hit the balls out to you in the outfield.
Eldest boy will get it.
He's 11.
Throw them back to me.
I have a bat on.
I don't have my glove.
So it'll hit, roll behind me.
Little Johnny will get it, put it in the bucket.
It's a good system we have.
And Johnny's not going to get hurt by a ball because they're coming in from outfield and they're rolling by the time they get to home plate.
Great setup.
And slowly over the course of a couple hours, they started to become human beings again and talk.
They were totally silent, like on the drive to the park.
And then on the way back, they're asking me questions.
We go for a walk.
They're happy to go for a walk, by the way.
Not like, why are we going for a walk?
But going for a walk, talking.
I'm telling some autistic kid drove by in his bike, and I could hear him talking to his sister.
And, you know, the sisters of autistic boys are some of the greatest people alive.
That's who you want to marry.
Like something about Mary.
And he's like, and then Gary said that they don't want to be working anymore.
So then I was talking to the boys about autism and some of the things they've noticed where the way they look at people, they tend not to look at the eyes as much.
Really, you know, I was imparting wisdom and they were eagerly learning.
And then when we got back, they didn't rush to screens.
We played foosball for a bit in the basement.
It was awesome.
And it was like a mini rehab.
And, you know, they've done studies that say that these fucking stupid fucking games are like crack.
And then they have the similar dopamine release.
So all you can do is restrict the time.
You can't ban them.
You're separating your kid from all his friends and it's a cruel and unusual punishment.
But you can try to encourage them to play together.
Like Brawl Stars, my two boys can play together.
Or with Minecraft, all three kids can play together.
We've got this new Xbox set up that's been the biggest pain in my goddamn fucking side.
Still not set up.
And it's cost me $200 in chords, another $200 for the Kinect thing.
And I have no idea how to play two players because it's one account.
I'm actually getting mad talking to you.
I'm frustrated thinking about it.
I was researching the way guys with Trophy Wives change their politics and become solipsistic morons who cry on TV and love Hillary and won't shut up about Orange Man bad.
I was thinking mostly of Jimmy Kimmel and Howard Stern.
But as I was researching this, I saw Jimmy Kimmel ripping off my pancakes.
I hadn't seen this before.
You can scroll down.
The video is not important.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a cute idea, Jimmy.
I used to have a much better relationship with Jimmy like 10 years ago because of the Perry Project.
The cruelest joke ever played on a guy.
Look, he's got my exact squeezer.
That's the exact thing I use.
Now, he used food colouring.
I did that once.
It's a big pain in the ass.
The kids don't seem to find it very appetizing, too.
But go to 1-1.
I've sent him and a lot of my friends, I would send pictures of my pancakes.
Go to the very end.
I show you how to do it there with the squeeze bottle.
Again, Ryan, you're not...
You're zoomed in too much.
We're at 100% rate.
They look like little Chinese tables or something.
Hello, Elmo.
Hello, Elmo.
Hi, this is Elmo.
Who's that?
You're eating a pancake.
And then we list them all here.
Mommies, wrestlers, nunchots, ninja turtles, a pig, Abe Lincoln.
That's awesome.
That's really good.
You just use it as a pen.
Well, turtle, Yoda.
I forget who that was.
Anyway, and then I see Jimmy Kimmel fucking doing it.
It reminded me of Travis Millard.
I sent into him, and he would do, he was an artist now.
We used to be pals before the Trump split, the Trump divorce.
And he would use normal water for the pancake makes.
He didn't eat them.
He'd throw them in the garbage when he was done.
And he'd practice like 10 times making one.
And then when he got it right, that's it.
And sometimes he would solidify them with acetate.
But because he's not controversial, tons of press.
Tons of press.
Ripping me off.
In fact, in the Yahoo article I read, it said, 3,000 miles away in New York, no one watches closer than his buddy, Vice magazine co-founder Gavin McKinnitz, who's constantly trying to figure out how to one-up Millard.
Yeah, that's not what's going on.
Our Reddit channel got shut down, but there's a new one up, Reddit Censored TV.
Every time you get deleted, too, you go down in members, and you have to keep building them back up.
But do you know that, Reddit?
You should be on it every day.
You should join this Reddit, folks, and then comment on the shows because the letters we're getting are piling up to the ceiling.
I did a special episode on Sunday where I said, let's just sit down here and just clean out the mailbag.
And we managed to make it back to like April 30th.
We did maybe three days.
What is it today?
May 4th?
We did five days of letters, and that took two hours.
Ryan, why isn't this on your radar already?
It is your job.
Am I joined?
Okay, we don't show as you joining.
So that's the Reddit.
It's, what is it, R slash censored TV all one word?
Or is there a dot there?
R slash censored TV.
One word.
One word.
So you should join that, and you should join the Discord.
300 members.
Is that good or bad?
There's like thousands before.
Yeah, there was thousands before.
And the Discord, I think, is on the links on the homepage.
I'm an okay boomer when it comes to all this stuff.
All right, let's stop talking about little bric-a-brac miscellaneous details and get down to some hard fucking news.
Movie night.
Extraction.
Worst tattoos I've ever seen in a movie.
I think it was shot in Bangladesh, which must be 110 degrees.
That's not a good picture.
Yeah, look at his neck.
Zoom in on his neck.
What?
Is that a tattoo?
Yeah, it's an arrow.
Here's my theory.
They got all these great rebates and stuff, but they had to use local people.
And their local makeup artist, whatever, doesn't know how to do fake tattoos.
It's hard to do fake tattoos and make them look real.
She's never done it before.
So she just used a marker.
Look at his fucking neck.
Those are supposed to be arrows.
And I think because it's 120 degrees, he's probably sweating like a stuck pig in every scene.
So it's just bleeding off.
It was probably bleeding off as she was putting it on.
This is the worst one.
Look at that.
It's like the sugar cubes.
What's your name from the sugar cubes?
God damn it.
I can never remember names on this show.
Go back.
Go back to that thing.
Two.
Look how bad that is.
That's not how tattoos fade, dumbass.
Bjork is who I was thinking of.
Bjork has that tattoo.
They don't fade like a screen print t-shirt.
No, they don't fade in the middle and slowly fade out.
That's how marker sweats off your body, though.
They keep ruining these fucking movies with these major mistakes, just like Waco with those goddamn sweater vests.
And I think I figured out Waco, by the way, folks.
Netflix is pure propaganda.
I saw there was something about the war on free speech, and I thought, oh, that's cool.
And they show Hulk Hogan.
And the movie is actually about us suing journalists for lying.
Yes, a little late.
We've already moved on from that, my boy.
And what it was really about is the war on liberal cunt platforms like Gawker that were just out to cancel people and make up fucking salacious gossip and ruin lives.
Yeah, eventually they showed a sex tape of Hulk Hogan and they fucked with the billionaire guy, Peter Thiel, and those two fought back.
That's not the death of journalism.
Gawker was the death of journalism.
Anyway, so you ask yourself, well, Why did they show Waco?
Because it's the ultimate libertarian movie.
And I finally figured out, this took me about a week to figure out.
They threw us a bone in order to look less biased.
But there's still left-wing bias in that movie.
And the left-wing bias is, yeah, sometimes the government makes mistakes.
We're not perfect.
But if you fuck with us, like you have a standoff for whatever it was, 85 days, there's going to be accidents.
And some of our less competent people might accidentally start a fire that kills people.
So we're not perfect, but don't fuck with us and you won't get hurt.
That's why Waco was on there.
Another movie I saw recently is Mob Town with David Arquette.
I don't even like the premise.
I love mob movies, but the premise is based on a true story, this, I guess, Manhattan mob story, I can't remember which one it was, said, I want to meet everyone.
Jersey, all the big bosses from the whole country or the whole Northeast, I should say.
And a traffic cop discovered one of these guys accidentally and realized this big meeting was going on.
Is it even a crime for mob bosses to meet?
Isn't that the freedom of association?
Yeah, see, the trailer's really good.
I want a sit-down.
What up?
All the bosses and all the captains, all the families.
It's a place quiet.
Gotta beat low-key.
It has a real Canadian vibe.
No offense to my homeland.
Bad lighting.
Yeah.
Sergeant Croswell.
Look at the lighting.
Oh, man.
Yeah, that is weird.
Looks like a soap opera.
Yeah.
All the mops just met in Winnipeg.
At 60 frames per second.
Jennifer Esposito is terrible.
The chick from Sopranos is pretty good.
Go to the video I sent you because, of course, they comb through hundreds of hours of footage to find half-decent stuff.
David Arquette is in anything.
He'll show up to the opening of an envelope right now.
Look at the lighting there with his forehead blown out.
Is there a nuclear war going on in his head?
Let's just say she isn't good at being alone.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Is he gonna fight face?
Look at his eyebrows.
Is he looking into the camera?
Yeah, did you just break the fourth wall and look at me?
This was supposed to be a dinner half a century ago.
David, talking to you.
David, look at the love interest, please.
Why does she pull her sweater up to her fucking armpits?
She going to fight?
That's the clip.
Yeah.
So that sucked?
So don't watch that.
Well, watch it as a joke.
I actually texted Kumi and said him and fucking Lando have to watch this.
It's like the room level's bad.
So if you smoke a joint, you might want to check it out.
Also, there's a lesbian doc.
This is 17.
On Netflix.
I got a message from Drunk Me, and I do not understand it.
So maybe we could look at it.
It's about this couple that were together back when it was bad, and then they got married.
And it seems really cute.
But I started to get suspicious towards the end that it was more agenda-driven and even malicious, smash the patriarchy type stuff.
Anyway, let's listen to the message and see if you can decipher what the fuck I'm talking about.
Netflix documentary about two lesbians in love.
They're super old and I'm thinking this is awesome.
Play the trailer while I do this.
I'm talking about being in love, and I'm thinking of them holding each other nude for fucking 40 years, and I'm thinking, God bless them.
I agree.
It's none of my business.
You know, they're wonderful.
And then they say they're going to get married.
You can tell, you know, they're like 80 when they decide to get married.
You can tell it's fucking fake.
You can tell it's been programmed.
And then they get into more details.
It sounds like they're incendiary.
It sounds like it's about sabotage.
And this cute documentary about two old girls in love sounds like fucking artillery.
That's what pisses me off.
Like the woman.
While this was coming out, the woman who made the announcement, sorry, not the woman who made the announcement.
The woman who was singing to them when she made the answer.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, this epiphany was like, it's so cozy.
It is cool.
And then she goes, we're going to get married.
And you think, oh, that's why you were singing your fucking gates.
Complete your agenda.
I get it.
Really?
Yeah.
Maybe I should watch the documentary.
I have no recollection of watching that fucking thing.
It's the fact that I was probably looking for lesbian porn late at night.
You were suspicious that why are they getting married at 80 and it's because it's probably set up and it uses artillery to smash the patriarchy general gist.
Which part are you lost at?
Yeah, I get it.
I get it.
That makes sense.
Also, TV shows.
Duncan Trussell has a show out on Netflix that is fucking amazing.
I think it's called Midnight Gospel.
Now, this trailer is deceiving because it's just showing you the trippiness.
It's by Pendleton Ward of Adventure Time, who swore he would never do a show again after Adventure Time.
And by the way, I only know about Adventure Time because of my fucking kids.
All right.
I don't watch kids' shows.
But this is for potheads who like podcasts.
And what Duncan Trussell has done is he's taken, this is my theory, I can't prove this 100%, but I think he's just taken the dialogue of a podcast, gone back, added a story behind it, and then gone to the original guy like Dr. Drew and say, okay, can you just say, hand me a gun?
Oh, there's a zombie.
And so what they do is they have a conversation back and forth, but while they're fighting zombies.
So he'll be like, yeah, well, pot can be dangerous, but it's not all the time.
Can you hand me that gun?
And then he'll be shooting stuff, but they're having a normal podcast conversation.
So it's perfect for stoned people, mostly dudes, who just want to listen to a podcast and look at funny colors.
The plot is nothing.
So this isn't a good example of what it is.
It's just like cool drawings and an interesting conversation, which is really interesting because you've taken the audio of a podcast and then given it another layer.
Because that's what people do when they listen to podcasts, right?
They look at Instagram, they drive, they look at shapes and colors.
So he's added a very, very easy, subtle plot, like the president is shooting zombies, and added a podcast.
It's not like the Ricky Gervais thing.
Because that's just like them talking.
Yeah, no, no, this is a separate plot.
No, no, no.
Don't pull that up.
That's got nothing fucking to do with them talking about.
What you should have pulled up is the Netflix show.
Yeah, just jump into the middle of that.
I'm clarifying our sort of back and forth, too, because I love being around people that help me see the world through a new pair of glasses, and you're one of those people.
Thank you.
And so I'm open to all the stuff you say, and I think it's fascinating.
And then I go, you could hurt somebody.
You notice that?
I'm always like, but what if?
Yeah.
In the past, the founding fathers talked about pumping mushrooms into the horrible world leaders.
Yeah, that's right.
And we said he needed insight and he'd be happy and he realized what he was doing.
And I thought, oh, he'd go darker.
We don't know.
That's true.
It's the ore that always moves.
You get the idea.
For sure.
Great work.
Now, I realize all of this talk of movies and TV sounds very anti-book, as my dad pronounces it.
Book.
So let's get back to reading for a second, please, before we let our brains totally vegetate.
And we have a beer belly here and a beer belly here.
Michelle Malkin and Milo put together a reading list that I was looking at it and thinking, a fuck school, 100%.
Like, this is probably three years of reading, maybe four years.
I don't agree with them all.
Some of them are pretty gay.
Like, go down to the bottom.
He's got like, you know, that Victorian kind of look.
The bottom, Ryan.
The bottom.
There's 202 of them.
By the way, don't do 202 of anything.
They should have just chucked Captain 2.
I noticed Milo includes all of his books.
Michelle only includes some.
And she didn't include who built that, which is a major mistake.
That's my biggest gripe is they forgot who built that and how the Scots invented the modern world.
But no, go back to it, please.
What was the one?
Brideshead Revisited.
Evelyn Waugh.
Like, we don't have to get that gay.
But there are so many great books in there.
And one of them I'd only heard of loosely.
Look, there's Gulliver's Travels.
So you read this and you have more knowledge than I did with my degree in English, a better canon.
And you also know about the death of the West because in the academic structure, especially public schools now, all of this is removed.
And it's Martin Luther King, Jim Crow, slavery.
We were horrible.
50s housewives were slaves.
You should see my daughter's homework.
And this is just taken out of the equation.
Meanwhile, when you look at like American history, this is 90%.
And, well, there's a lot of British stuff there.
Yeah, British history is American history, I'm afraid.
And there's no better example of this than a book that I haven't read that I heard of called, this is one Albion Seed.
And it's basically about four areas of England who were integral in the initial foundation of American culture.
And these four areas, which were really a seed, I can't believe I'm telling you about a book I haven't read, but I've read about the book, and I remember talking about it and hearing about it.
They were really big on libertarian culture, individuals, freedom of speech, lack of tyranny.
That's how they ended up in America, right?
They were very independent, anti-monarchy.
And the argument of this book is that this is the spine, the cerebellum of American culture, American history, American judicial system.
Everything American comes from these four tiny little areas in England.
You'll never learn that in school.
Never.
In fact, you are going, if you're a student watching this, you're going a quarter of a million dollars in debt to unknow important history.
Oh, that's interesting.
That's not such a small area.
That's basically everything but the uninhabitable parts of Scotland.
And Scotland was a crucial part of Britain.
All right, let's do some fun stuff.
You ready?
Let's look at some leftist fails that have happened recently.
And when the left fails, we win.
The left is no longer good.
The left is no longer Cornell West talking about free speech.
So when you hear a liberal fail, you know it's not some benevolent policy that got kicked to the wayside by a cruel tyrant.
You know it's some hyperbolic lunatic out to ruin someone's life.
And they failed.
And we are really, you know, amazing win.
We're in a wind turbine right now.
But my favorite, let's start with my favorite 2-1.
So there's a cunt called Mark DeStefano.
And he's an Australian Jared Holt.
And what he does is he rats people out.
That's his job.
So let's just go into this.
Go bigger.
Yeah, so I'm looking at, so Mark DeStefano has been a very naughty boy.
Go to the next one.
Mark worked for BuzzFeed for many years.
During this time, he would intimidate platforms to deplatform slash demonetize people who he claimed were far right.
And that included Tommy Robinson, Count D'Ancula, Stefan Molinya, Sargon of Akkad, and he was friends with the head of YouTube.
So at BuzzFeed, he was doing all kinds of subterfuge.
And I always call these guys saboteurs.
They don't create, they destroy.
Lying, getting info by sinister means.
This was all part and parcel of working at a place like BuzzFeed or other left-wing rags like I was talking about earlier with Gawker.
Bring me back there.
They don't care about ethics or morals.
They care about money by any means necessary.
So after years of that, he got used to it.
And he kind of thought that is what journalism is.
And by the way, this is why no one will hire these people.
And when they do, they instantly regret it.
The general pattern of the Gawker types, these saboteurs is you don't want them around.
They're like smallpox blankets.
It could be an effective weapon to wipe out the Indians, but it sounds pretty dangerous because I'll get smallpox on my hands.
And the next thing you know, I'm fucked.
And that's precisely what happened.
Mark DeStefano is smallpox.
And he used his, they hired him and said, go use your BuzzFeed smallpox.
And the Financial Times got smallpox on themselves.
So go back to that thread.
After years, he got used to it, blah, blah, blah.
And then in January of this year, it gets hired by the Financial Times, a proper I'm a big boy now publication, not the type that constantly lies or publishes top 10 lists about avocados.
He, however, still doing his usual scheming.
He seemed to think that manipulation and crossing the line of what is considered legal is just something you do as a journalist.
I've been on the receiving end of some data protection laws being used against journalism.
DM me.
This is the other thing I was talking about.
When they try to like dox you and you prevent them, then you're preventing journalism.
I thought it was free speech.
The SPLC could say, why are you suing us, Gavin?
You said you're for free speech.
All we did was tortiously destroy your life and put your family in danger.
That's just speech, right?
See if you can find a picture of him.
So anyway, rather than reading the whole text, he goes on to these Zoom meetings with competitors like the Epoch Times.
And he's done this with the BBC before.
He did it with the BBC.
He'd go on these BBC chats and pretend to be a BBC employee and get all this dirt like, oh, they're laying people off.
Yeah, that's his fucking face.
Look at him.
Is there a more punchable face in the entire continent of Australia?
Anyway, so he goes on this Zoom meeting and they're talking about layoffs and stuff.
He starts live tweeting their private meeting.
Now we're getting into criminal territory.
Now the Financial Times has smallpox on its hands.
Now they're getting the disease.
That's why you don't hire these people.
So he suspended his account.
He went dark.
He got fired from FT.
And now he could be facing criminal charges.
This could be the end of his career.
And isn't it nice when you see a saboteur get sabotaged?
Isn't it nice to see someone who used smallpox blankets get smallpox?
Nice work.
And for the record, we never use smallpox on the Indians.
It was an idea someone suggested, and the other guy shut it down for the very reason I'm explaining in this analogy.
So that was fun.
Do we miss any details?
I don't think so.
And then we have, of course, low-hanging fruit, Biden's hypocrisy.
He couldn't wait to destroy Bloomberg for Me Too allegations, and his are much worse.
Let's get something straight here.
So the former Senate aide accuses you of sexual assault.
All the mayor has to do is say you are released from the non-disclosure deal.
It never, never happened.
It didn't.
You think the women in fact were ready to say that you didn't know about what you did to me?
She says in 1993, Mr. Vice President, that you pinned her against the wall and reached under her clothing and penetrated her with your fingers.
I don't remember.
That's not how it works.
And if they, you know, I don't understand the point you're trying to make.
This is about transparency.
Why not do it for both sets of records?
That would not be something that would be revealed while I was in public office or while I was seeking public office.
Look, this is what you did to me.
Look, Mika, there is nothing.
Period.
Period.
Oh, I see what he's saying.
She was menstruating and you wouldn't finger a girl menstruating because it's gross.
There was nothing.
There was a period.
Yeah.
Why would I do that?
Why would I touch a woman on her period?
Do the math, Mika.
I saw this also.
There was another thing about there was a lawyer who fought against Bill O'Reilly, and she's known as this Me Too lawyer.
And she did a tweet out.
I forgot to put it in the notes.
But she said, yes, Tara Reed, you do have a valid story.
You do sound credible.
You sound as credible as anyone I've worked with.
She was a big anti-Kavanaugh lawyer.
But this woman has a bigger butt than Lizzo.
But I need to get Trump out.
So I'll be standing with Biden for this election.
And I thought, wow, that's a new one.
Honesty.
Hi, I'm a hypocrite, and I'm going to do whatever I can to get Biden out.
I believe her name is Rachel Whitley Bernstein.
I don't know.
I can't remember.
Click the link.
That's the one that sued O'Reilly.
Yeah, yeah, but you're supposed to find the update.
Now you have the name.
Anyway, we've missed it.
I clicked Twitter, but.
So 2-3, there was an interesting strategic tweet from the left that said, now this Andrew pussy is quoting us, right?
Our side.
And it says, we have to introduce people to different Joe Biden.
A Trump campaign advisor said, one of the reasons we won in 2016 is because Many people hated Hillary Clinton.
I'm not sure people hate Biden that much.
So he's assuming that people don't, we don't hate Biden, so we must be trying to gin up hatred for Biden.
Have you seen Mad Max Thunderdome?
Have you seen Master Blaster?
Have you seen the final scene?
What are you doing, Ryan?
Looking for that lady's Twitter.
Yeah, that ship has sailed.
So while I slowly talk about the Thunderdome fight scene with Master Blaster, you should be frantically digging that up.
Yeah, this is the next election.
Ooh, remember we used to talk about that guy a lot?
Pig Killer?
You don't?
No.
He got, he robbed to feed his family, and he was thrown down for the rest of his life to go shovel shit with the pigs to power the methane stuff.
And I used to talk about how that's what cancel culture is.
It's pig killer.
You do something, you get fired, you get in trouble, and you get thrown down to the sewers to shovel shit.
But go forward to the fight.
Is this the fight?
No, this is the wrong scene.
Jesus H fucking Christ.
Master Blaster Thunderstome fight scene.
There we go.
So go to the end.
There's Biden, right?
There's Biden without the media.
And here is Joe Biden revealed.
This is Trump.
Alrighty.
Time to...
I'm Joe Biden.
What the thing?
You remember?
It's like the thing, economic intercourse.
This is how we feel.
We feel like Mad Max right now.
See, there's no hate there.
Okay, Joe.
You go back to bed.
Wow, that's perfect.
We need to make him hate Blaster more.
No, we don't.
We'll just have our fight in the Thunderdome.
Then we'll put down our giant mallet and say, bye, DNC.
You may want to try a little better next time.
You may want to try a push of Joe Biden, Kamala Harris.
Basically, Elizabeth Warren, every other candidate was a better contestant outside of maybe de Blasio.
You had a ton of...
I think what people are going to do, he's going to get someone like Kamala Harris, and then they'll just sort of plug their nose and go, I'm basically voting for Kamala Harris.
Yeah, that's going to be their strategy.
They're not voting for Joe Biden when they vote for Joe Biden.
They're voting for his VP and praying to Jesus that he gets impeached or has an aneurysm or just drinks some fucking chloroquine.
By the way, that's another victory.
Steven Crowder saw that woman drink chloroquine and blame it on Trump.
And he goes, great detective work, Steve.
He goes, wait a minute, doesn't this woman have a history of strange deaths?
I think she murdered her husband.
And then she got greedy and thought, not only did I get a death out of it, but I'm going to blame Trump.
And so I can score political points as I murder my husband.
And detectives are now saying the same fucking thing.
She murdered him.
Steven Crowder predicted this, I think, two weeks ago.
And the actual law enforcement just caught on right now.
Maybe her dosage, too, was...
She could have just started, she could have been going, ah, ah, my stomach.
We don't know if they give her a blood test to make sure it's in there.
She could have given herself Ipecac or something and been throwing up.
Or just ate a Taco Bell right before she called 911.
Is that too easy of a joke?
I didn't, I was trying to look something up.
Her name, Wanda Linnaeus.
Wanda Linnaeus.
Do you have Crowder predicting this?
I mean, I guess I should have had that in the notes before I start bitching and moaning.
I'm on no drugs and no booze kick trying to stem these nightmares.
I was trying to see the 911 call if that exists, but.
Why would you want to see that?
To hear if she sounds suspicious.
Oh.
All right, well, let's get back to the show.
So just so you know, Crowder predicted this.
He sent me the video a long time ago.
Have you got it?
Yeah, here it is.
You got it.
Everyone remembers the lady who drank fish tank cleaner, right?
Koi Pond Cleaner.
I didn't say poi.
Oh, Koi.
Koi Pond Cleaner.
You remember the story that we heard?
Right.
The story that we all heard and was covered in most major news outlets, both on television and publications, was that she heard a press briefing from Donald Trump touting the benefits of chloroquine, which is a medication can be prescribed by a doctor.
Therefore, because she trusted everything Donald Trump said, she and her husband, they both drank it, and he died, unfortunately, a tragedy.
She didn't.
And then she had some words on mainstream media for everyone else.
This was the story.
This is how it was covered.
Let's go to the clip.
Did you see the president's press conference?
Where did you hear about?
Yeah, we saw his press conference.
It goes on a lot, actually.
And then what, and then what?
Watch the ball.
You murder your husband and then also simultaneously use that to push your agenda.
I used to have quite fish.
What would be your message to the Americans?
Did you kill those two?
That's enough.
We get the idea of it.
It's enough advertising the competition.
What a fucking, they're all, You murder your husband and then use it to hurt Trump.
He would have wanted it this way.
He didn't like him either.
Here's another victory.
James O'Keefe caught Twitter deleting his retweets and caught it on camera.
Filmed it in real time.
Of course.
Of course.
Wow.
Thousands and thousands.
Sheesh.
That was hundreds at first.
Pretty fucking incredible.
And I also, a can of this is 2.6.
I don't know if this counts as a victory for the non-left.
We've got to come up with a new name for ourselves.
The Minutemen?
The Mercenaries?
The Resistance?
They already got that one.
Cool guys.
Candace Owens dared to criticize China.
She was suspended from Twitter, but she'll be back.
And then Charlie Kirk said, retweet if you stand with Candace Owens.
Chinese Communist Party propaganda accounts reign free to tweet their garbage, yet they ban real Candace O. And then John, who you've had on the show, the breathtakingly gorgeous founder of Parlor.
Who knows nothing about pop culture?
Who is a great guy, has a wonderful platform.
Having a little trouble with his outfits.
You have him cropped there.
Ryan, can you please, for the love of Jesus Christ, stop cropping shit?
And not take an hour to not crop it.
He's just naturally cropped.
Well, he's just at John at Parlor.
Please go on Parlor and follow me.
I'm Gavin McInnis there.
I'm also on Telegram.
Normal names in both cases.
And Reddit and Discord.
I'm not on Reddit and Discord, but those are two other places you can still do social media.
And sorry, so John, who wears like little vests now?
Like he'll have a suit on with a vest that has a scoop neck.
Like a little round neck with a little vest or like skin-tight jeans with cowboy boots.
And the cowboy boots are outside the jeans.
I think we got to do a straight eye for the straight guy at his house at some point.
But anyway, he had a good message to Charlie Kirk and Candace Owens.
He said, both of you knew bans and suspensions were coming for you for a long time.
Both you and I had extensive conversations about it at dinners as a group.
Twitter has a right to do what they want with their property.
You chose to stay there.
You could have rebuilt your following on Parlor or any other platform.
You could have made a difference, organized people, used your television time to make a difference, but you have not.
In less than a week, she will have her Twitter account back and this temporary publicity stunt and self-promotion exercise will be over for you, but not for the millions across the world who are experiencing real censorship and have no real voice.
So not an example of winning, but I was just linking it to Twitter.
Actually, it is kind of, because we're shitting on Twitter twice in a row.
Another victory.
Remember he said we'll get sick of winning?
Well, we're not sick of COVID, but we are getting sick of winning.
So I was on the Daily Show many years ago saying that female soccer players get less money, I guess, in total, because like the WNBA, no one goes to it.
It's not that interesting.
But because of a fucking Facebook meme that had some bullshit statistic about how female soccer players generate millions of dollars with their, and their World Cup is more attended than any other World Cup and all this bullshit.
Like the fact that we keep having political discussions and policy arguments over Facebook memes and rumors is driving me fucking nuts.
So I said, no, that Facebook meme is false.
They get paid less because less people go to their games.
Yes, there was a lot of people at their World Cup.
That's not the pattern.
That's not the pattern.
Oh, this is when I made up names as a joke and they took it seriously.
Known to everyone as Junebug.
Come on, man.
If you're going to make up fake names, do better than Junebug.
If lunatics like this are against the women, you know what's funny too?
Just pause.
I was worried he didn't get the joke, so I texted them, the producers after, and go, you got that that was a joke, right?
Junebug and me making up fake names, but they don't give a shit about that.
And this is where people get their news from.
Also, my son, my youngest boy, is petrified of plastic and plastic straws because of that fucking video where they're pulling a straw out of a turtle's nose.
That's why you have paper straws.
Because of that bullshit video.
And that straw had nothing to do with me.
That straw had nothing to do with America.
China is the one polluting the rivers with plastic.
Central America pours their plastic into the sea.
We don't do that.
So they're fucking up.
That's becoming a meme.
And then we have to have paper straws.
Paper straws?
You're literally eating paper.
And you have to fucking gun it on your cola before it just turns into this flaccid Terrence Howard penis.
I'll eat your ass.
By the way, I saw Rex did an interview with his dad about that.
We explained the context and why he was trending.
I hope everyone gets that when we play that I'll eat your ass, we're laughing with Alex Jones.
Alex is our guy.
Love the dude.
But it was just funny that when he was saying, I'll eat your ass, as in I'll shoot your ass or I'll kill your ass or I'll throw your ass in jail.
It sounded like he will eat our ass.
That's his ex?
Oh, yeah, that was funny.
This is my ex-husband, Alex Jones, graphically describing how he'll kill his neighbor to feed my kids.
Why is F-E-E-D spread out like that?
And why did she keep her name, Jones?
And if you're going to do that spacing, you have to put two spaces in front of in at the end of each word.
But I'm literally looking at my neighbors now and going, unjust to my kids.
Kelly, I've met your kids.
They're not fans.
They're not fans.
I believe the term I heard was bat shit crazy.
You got $10 million at least, but you kept the name so you could bitch.
And Rex is old.
He's like 17.
If he loved you so much, why wouldn't he walk back to your house?
Alex has him brainwashed?
No.
Anyway, sorry, that was a long tangent to say.
The United States Soccer Federation showed that the female players were paid 8 million more.
Wait, is she just mad because he never said to her, I will eat your ass.
Paid 8 million more in salaries and bonuses, despite the games of the male players grossing much more game revenue.
So I was wrong.
I said they get paid less because they generate less income because they have less fans and less people in the seats.
They actually get paid disproportionately more.
So that hideous dyke Megan Rapenpoe, Rapinoe.
Remember her little dances when they won?
So much.
Really stoic.
Way to show people how to win.
We won soccer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fucking yeah.
So Megan Rapinoe tweeted, we will never stop fighting for equality.
Okay, let's do that then.
Let's bring your salary down to a man's.
That's equality, bitch.
Equality is meritocracy.
I get paid for how many subscribers come to this network.
I don't get paid because I deserve more, because I want equality.
Why does Tucker Carlson and Sean Hennedy make so much more money than me?
We do the same job.
This isn't equality.
I should be making the same amount of money as Samantha B. That's not how you win, ladies.
No, that's not.
You go like this.
Have you ever watched fucking baseball players win?
Yeah, give me some more.
Look at that.
And they're all clapping.
This is like the nurses.
Women are terrible at winning.
What is that?
Look, one of them dabs.
Yeah, that's all.
That's all.
I've danced enough.
Here's another funny one.
Oh, no, this one isn't that funny.
And Tifa were caught doctoring photos.
So they really are trying to make wanting to go back to work a Nazi thing because that's the way it works now.
Anything I don't like or anything that helps Trump is Nazi.
So this woman shows up at a rally with a work sets you free sign, which was what it said over the concentration camps where the Jews were told they're going there to work and they'll be free, but they were killed.
So this, but by the way, with this Antifa switchup, it's got so many layers of irony because what is Antifa saying we're saying?
That we want people to work so we can gas them?
Well, that's the liberal side.
So in this thing, if she's a Nazi, then she wants us all to die.
So that's pro-quarantine.
This is what I hate.
They're so fucking bad at logic.
It's when they say things like, I hate faux news.
Just say, I hate Fox News.
You just made Fox News into faux news.
I hate faux news too.
It's not real.
It's faux.
Anyway, so they fucked up their prank.
But what she really said was you go to the picture next to it, Ryan.
No, that's a different article.
On Instagram, you can have two pictures next to each other.
Oh, I see.
Oh, it's hard to see that.
Free small business.
Like, basically, they're saying that she's holding up a sign saying, Kill the Jews.
Wow.
Nice math.
Here's another much funnier Antifa mistake.
So this guy says, let's lynch the landlord.
Fucking landlords.
Hi.
I'm an Antifa dude.
What's his name?
Austin Goodrich.
Austin Goodrich goes, you know, my landlord wanted rent money.
I told her to fuck off.
And I said, use my stimulus.
You got a stimulus check.
Use that for my rent, bitch.
And then I sued her.
Look, wait, go, you didn't spend enough time on the header.
Antifa activist goes viral bragging about lawsuit against landlord for demanding rent.
Turns out it's his grandma.
And scroll down, he really did sue her.
What an absolute dick.
And look, he changed his name to Mr. Suing is LL landlord and not grandma.
Which is, I think his argument is, I'm suing her as a landlord, not as my grandma.
Austin, she's both.
She's your landlord and your grandma.
Oh yeah, the defendant is not only his grandmother and landlord, she is also his tax prepare.
Goodrich confirmed that TLC bookkeeping and tax prep is owned by his grandmother, but said he does not associate with her outside of their tenant-landlord relationship.
Ergo, she's not his grandma.
And then so he wants, then he starts pushing for more censorship because it's too easy to find out whose people whose grandmothers are.
That was a rough sentence.
But look at this tweet.
So he says, my landlord, and he says, he's pissed off that people discovered his grift.
So he's saying we need more private tax filings, more private lawsuits, so people can't tell that I'm just bitching at my grandmother.
I don't identify as her grandson.
He's mad that he got caught.
So he's pushing the government to make it harder for Antifa to get caught.
And by the way, just go back to that link.
That's the Cowbell I was talking about.
He's also one of the people who would go to these non-liberal talks.
Keep going down?
Yeah, that one.
He was up there.
You see what I'm saying?
Just grab him.
Grab him by the shoulder and just drag him out of there.
Black Lives Matter and the black security guard's like, come on, you got to do it.
Like, what would you do if someone did this at your grandmother's funeral?
You just grab him.
He's saying Black Lives Matter, but he's ignoring the black man who's trying to get him out of there.
Yeah.
Or what if we went to like a Black Lives Matter thing?
We got accused of that all the time.
Remember?
There was like a sad parade, a morning festival.
I don't know what to call it.
Awake for that girl in Oakland who got shot, and they assumed we were there to disrupt it, or even the proud boys in Halifax were disrupting an Aboriginal ceremony.
No, we don't do that.
You do that, Antifa.
And by the way, go back to that video.
It goes on and on and on.
And Austin Goodrich is there.
And you just think, how long do you let people...
I'm a woman.
I'm trans.
No.
Don't let people spit in your face.
Look at them.
I don't care what the rules are.
Drag him out of there.
And look what he's disrupting, too.
Like 20 people.
What a piece of shit that guy is.
And look, what do we do for revenge?
We film him.
You think he's going to be humiliated?
He's a hero amongst his peers for this.
Hey, hey, why'd you hit me?
Why'd you hit me, man?
That's the culture we're in now.
Hey, that's the salt.
Oh my god, the death of fighting.
This is revenge of the nerds.
Look at this guy.
A little kid can go become an old black dude.
Get out of my way.
Get out of my way.
This is embarrassing.
The entire nation is weaker than me when I was 13.
So that guy, right, he's mad at the system for making it so easy to catch him bullshitting and suing the system.
So the snitch is mad that he got caught snitching.
And I thought this was funny.
The Daily Mail had an article about this guy who, where was it now?
This is 3.0.
More than 900 Missouri residents who snitched on lockdown rule breakers fear retaliation after their details are leaked online.
So the snitchers are pissed that they got snitched on.
And what's really ironic about the article, if you scroll down, every mention of the snitchers is erased, right?
Oh, except for that one.
Tipster Patricia.
But they cut out her last name.
But then scroll down again, a little more.
More and more.
But then the guy who snitched on the snitchsters, look, no, no, up.
Jared Tolsch with the Constitution there.
Or is that the Bill of Rights?
I always fuck those up.
The Daily Mail is happy to show him and his details.
So they're reluctant to snitch on.
They're reluctant to show snitchers.
They're reluctant to snitch on snitchers, but they're happy to snitch on people who snitch on snitchers.
And again, it's politics, right?
Because the guy exposing them was pro-Trump, so we can just throw his address out there.
That's nothing.
But the snitchers, well, they're helping us.
They're helping Biden.
All right.
I think that's enough.
Right?
I have a bunch of other shit here, but I'm blabbing on and on and on.
And without a guest or a green screen to break it up, it gets a little tedious.
Let's go to the MB.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dance.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
By the way, on my personal YouTube, I put up the truth about the SPLC.
You should go there now and send it to all your friends.
It's very thorough.
So when we say the incorporation papers, we've actually gone to, well, online, to the Montgomery, Alabama courthouse and bought the incorporation papers.
So it's rife with evidence.
Alrighty.
Got the receipt.
We got the receipts, yo.
Hell yeah.
So we, yeah, we did a video on Sunday that's up on the site, and we spent two hours going through mail, barely took a chip out of it.
And now, from Sunday afternoon till now, we have way more mail than you could handle.
We've got to figure out a solution to this.
We need a message board.
And the tech guy is working on that.
If we had a message board below, I could occasionally go in and answer questions and shit.
You know what would be fun?
Yeah, that would be easy.
But if you come up for the male subjects, you have a...
I did.
Oh, good.
But they're not perfect.
No, but it's always important.
And it really lends credence to your point when you start grooming your hair right before you say anything.
It doesn't make you look like a completely useless homo.
Who called his apartment the fag zone?
Well, I never actually called it the fag zone.
But if you had categories for the mailbag, like suggestion, song thing, video, and the subject.
How does that help?
So that way we could look through it instead of go just from the top of the barrel.
But how does it help us sort through it?
Because then we could see like, oh, that's that category.
Yeah, but how does knowing the categories solve the volume problem?
It doesn't, but you could scroll through.
So that's the only problem is the sheer volume.
You know, it's a way of documenting what is this amount of time.
Why are we documenting a volume problem?
That's like we can't get into.
We have to shovel a pile of dirt that's 400 cubic meters.
And then you say, well, one way we could shovel all this dirt is to put it in four different categories of 100 cubic meters.
That doesn't help.
Well, that's like saying that flagging these doesn't help because it's just a way to visually categorize.
No, I used to flag the shitty ones.
Right.
But if you categorize, say, songs or suggestions, I still have to go through them.
You mean I should categorize suggestions and then just delete all the suggestions?
No, no, no.
Because if you're scrolling.
Well, then you're not helping the volume problem.
No, but you're helping address, you're referencing the volume.
You're saying, you know what, that's a song thing.
We don't need that.
That's a suggestion.
You could scroll through.
But I do check the song things and the suggestion things.
You're implying that there's a type of letter we never look at, like a suggestion.
We read all the suggestions.
I'm suggesting we don't go just from the top.
We just go like from the last.
Why?
Because, you know, because then you can look through.
It's like a screener, like a call screener.
No, you keep repeating The same thing, but you don't have an answer.
Why?
Like, let's, hey, Gavin, when you're going through your notes, put them all like this.
Why?
Oh, because they'll be separate.
Yeah, but why?
Oh, because you'll have one here, one here, and one here.
Yeah, but why?
Oh, so when you're going through them, you can see that's the first page, that's the second page, that's the third page.
Yeah, but why?
I think they'll be separate.
I think I'm suggesting that we don't just read from the, in order.
Why?
So we could get a better...
Because you're reading just whatever you got from the top.
Because it helps you screen and you say, that's not interesting.
It doesn't help you screen.
It's just categorizing them.
I read all the song ones.
I read all the suggestion ones.
Yeah, but maybe you shouldn't read them all in order.
Because you just read from the top.
You're like, this one's new.
Can you people at home believe what I go through?
I'm just saying you read all of them.
Why don't you just read the subject and say that?
Here's what you're trying to say, you fucking brain-dead salamander.
You should go through them all and get rid of the shit ones before you read the show.
That category makes sense.
Now I've taken away the volume because to go back to my dirt analogy, go through the dirt and put the dirt that doesn't need to be shoveled over there.
Now you can shovel all this dirt, and you're only doing the dirt that needs to be shoveled.
But to put it in categories and still keep shoveling it...
MLB accordions and man children.
I have a main question and two throy questions.
Thanks for telling me all about your imminent questions.
Feel free to answer or not answer any of them.
Wow.
I feel like Braveheart here.
Freedom!
I'm going to try to get into MLB when this season eventually starts, but I'm having trouble picking a team to follow.
I grew up in Philly's country, moved to Houston two years ago, grew up near Mike Trout from the Angels, so I have a decent connection with all.
If you live in Houston, you should be with the Astros.
I find it hard to pick the Astros because they win a lot.
It seems like bandwagon hopping.
No, they're persona non grata after cheating.
So they're actually kind of underdogs again.
People throw shit at them and boo them when they come out on the field.
In your opinion, what is the best use of an accordion of punk song?
Okay, so that's enough of that.
Gavin, I love my Gavin and Baby Ryan sticker.
It's obviously very high quality, but $10 for a single sticker?
A little steep there, guys.
I don't think you get a single sticker.
I think you get a whole container of stickers.
And shipping stickers is expensive because they're heavy.
But if, I'll double check that, but if it's $10 for one sticker, we will definitely change that.
This is from Scotty.
I got in trouble and got fired over the weekend.
Congratulations.
So I get on a Zoom meeting with one of my supervisors and about four of the ugliest, fattest, multicolor-haired snowflake SJWs on earth.
As I get on, I open my phone and 3452 begins playing from GML Live episode 45.
I think you've sent us this before.
And all everyone hears is you saying, he's not ambitious.
He just fucks this fat bitch.
I bet he eats her out every seven blowjobs.
It's supposed to be two blowjobs for every pussy lick.
No, his Instagram's pretty barren, too.
He's not ambitious.
He just fucks this fat bitch.
Oh, we're talking about David Shortel.
A legend.
I bet he's not even ambitious about that.
I bet he eats her out for every seven blowjobs.
All right, that's enough.
The look of horror on these bitches' faces was priceless.
By the way, was that sexist what I was saying?
No.
I was calling a guy in a relationship a lazy piece of shit.
Because he doesn't eat her out enough.
And I was saying that she's the dominant one in the relationship and criticizing him for being so weak.
So it was kind of a feminist rant.
And not cunalinging her enough, in fact.
Yeah, that's another good point.
Yeah.
No, sorry, that is a good point.
That was too much of indecence.
The look of horror on these bitches' faces was priceless.
Needless to say, I got in trouble and got fired.
Not really.
I was just asked to join a different supervision group because the ladies were offended and now uncomfortable.
See, that's a good example of when I say get fired.
Like, we're going to make some mistakes here, okay, when we're on these Zoom meetings.
You're going to hear a rude podcast.
What if he had on like a Louis C.K. record or even an Eddie Murphy record where Mr. T is fucking that guy up the butt?
Sorry, I didn't mean for you to hear that.
I remember years ago, there was a guy in a plane who had porn appear on his iPad, and the woman next to him went nuts, and she was like, wah!
And he got rid of it immediately, but it was on his iPad.
He didn't mean for her to see it, and she started trying to get the whole plane together with him.
And the whole plane just said, ah, shut up.
For fuck's sake, just calm down.
It was an accident.
And that's how the society should be about this guy.
So if you are getting fired for something that stupid, good.
Then people will say, why are we getting fired for this shit?
Hey, Ryguy and Gav.
Quite possibly the funniest and worst thing that happened to me on Friday.
Sorry for the length, but the little details make this story funny.
A la Larry Day.
Oh, sorry.
You know what's weird about this list letter?
Those first sentences were white text on a white background, and I only saw them because I accidentally glued it.
All right, so that's that.
We're getting them live as they come in.
This is a guy called Exotic Cars.
Hey, fags, check out this video my ring camera caught last night.
I can't explain it.
This better be good.
That's a person walking.
And the trailing is because of the frame rate.
Oh, wait, they disappear.
here.
All right, that's pretty good.
Wait, what the fuck?
Well, how do you know any of this is true, though?
You know?
Dear Guy, remind you, have you ever heard of the sensational Alex Harvey band, their early 70s rock theatrical type thing from Glasgow?
If not, I'd recommend checking them out.
I suggest Hot City Symphony, Man in the Jar.
All right, we'll check out the sensational Alex Harvey band.
Last train to Glasgow Central.
Hey, this is from Alfie.
Can we agree that British people have the same temper in fighting need as Irish people?
In my area, Southampton, if you know where that is, there are fights every day.
Also, as an Englishman, why isn't there pride being a decent sorry, why isn't there pride being a descendant of English like there is if they were Scottish or Irish?
Over 25% of Canada is of English descent, and their St. George's Day there is like St. Patrick's.
Don't know, it just pisses me off in a way.
Yeah, I'll tell you why.
St. Andrew's Day and being proud of being English isn't as popular as being Irish or Scottish.
Because the English won.
And you're not allowed to gloat if you won.
So the Scots, and it's the bigotry of low expectations.
The Scots won, so we go, yay, Scotland, you did it.
Braveheart, yeah.
And the Irish lost, so we go, yay, Ireland, you're Irish.
Tapa de Marnen.
The English are seen as white supremacists.
Exact same thing with being white.
You can be a proud Armenian because you're a loser.
You can be a proud Turk.
I know I'm calling Scots people losers, but you get the point.
You can't be proud if you're the winner.
And I don't know why.
And by the way, speaking of get fired, you should go nuts.
I saw a guy, I think he was, he had his home vandalized for having a St. Andrew's flag on St. Andrew's Day.
No, that's Scotland.
What's the King George, the cross?
The Red Cross thing in McDougal.
Nick, I got him.
I was just watching an older show, No Pain, No Rogan.
It was the episode with the Jewish kid that becomes trans.
Jazz Jennings.
The Red Cross I was talking about.
You seem surprised, so I guess you never heard of him.
Maybe you learned more about this doctor since then, or have seen other documentaries in called The Final Member.
It is pure gold.
This Icelandic Penis Museum has a specimen from every species except one, human.
There is an old Icelandic legend and a deranged, short-sighted American competing for the honor.
While the Icelandic legend is about to die, the deranged American wants to remove it.
And his doctor is the very same trans doctor.
There are two under two-minute clips.
So he's talking about the doctor that made Jazz Jennings' vagina, which was horrific.
And apparently this doctor, why weren't you reading along with the...
Is trying to get his penis put in this penis museum.
Rats, pigs, horses, rams, bulls, reindeer, polar bears, seals, walrus, minky whales, killer whales.
I've been collecting for...
You know it'd be cool if they had a fly's penis.
You ever see a fly's penis?
Ryan, you're showing us searching.
Oh, Ryan, what the fuck are you doing?
I typed in the fly penis.
Yeah, but go back to the video.
You do your searching on your own.
You don't show people.
What if kiddie porn comes up?
I don't know.
I'm Tom Mitchell, and I've decided to donate my penis to the only penis museum in the world before I die.
Go ahead.
It's very important to me that Elmo be the first human specimen in your museum.
I decided to remove my genitals completely.
Oh, that's the doctor.
When visitors walked into the penis museum in Iceland and they first set eyes on Elmo, you have stars and stripes on your penis.
I'd like them to know that the largest and best one came from the States.
He was driving me crazy.
I've always had a dream of fame and fortune for Elmo.
Vladison is a famous guy in Iceland.
That would be a preference to the Icelander.
It kind of pisses me off.
So the trans doctor is not trying to do it.
The trans doctor is happy to do the operation that removes the penis.
This person's a genital mutilator.
It's not spreading joy.
Fellas, here's another one of those fucking COVID-19 videos similar to the Imagine video.
Chicks kicking ass, so hot.
I want to fuck you with the lights on.
I want to make a little bit more of a light on the light.
What have you got here?
Photos.
Here we go.
I'm so bored.
I just want to play with my friends.
Friends?
I can't play with my friends.
What?
The head snows on?
Wait, your roller getting on the beach?
I can take all of those punches right dead on the nose.
Cornball.
Yeah, I saw that a long time ago.
Thanks, dude.
This is from Max.
Hey, Ryan Gabb, I came across this photo of you, and I'm curious when it was taken.
It's definitely revealing the absence of your chin.
Love the show.
Want to smother you with my inner lips.
That's not very nice.
That's kind of mean.
And then he features an unattractive person.
That's Avery.
Much chubbier than me.
That's the to make a murderer guy.
Making a murderer.
Hey, Gavin, Ryan.
The name's Max Bumfrey.
Say my last name.
I don't give a fuck.
Holy fuck, you're retarded.
Did you honestly think a spider would survive absorbing an alcoholic q-tip larger than itself and not die from alcohol poisoning?
Okay.
Dave.
Hello.
I'm sure you've covered what you think about vaccines, but I can't recall.
My eight-month-old boy just had his fourth round, and every time he gets them, I get a little more concerned.
I don't think they're all bad, but I also don't think they're all good.
It's a tough one because thinking someone hurting my boy makes me want to murder that person.
Yeah, it's a tough position we're in, right?
Lose, lose.
You don't vaccinate your child at all, and they get polio or what was the thing?
There was a resurgence of some ancient disease in Hipster, Brooklyn, whatever, measles, whatever.
And then you do vaccinate them and they get autism.
Who couldn't we trust?
That's one of the good things about this epidemic is we've learned how little we can trust authority.
This better be good.
This is from a guy named Reagan.
It's a video of him when he was in high school, and he was apparently a piece of shit.
Wait, that's not.
It's a video.
I need to get 20 from where's it?
We just put a order in the mailbox.
Tony, not there.
Oh my God!
Wow.
That was okay.
All right, we're skipping down a few.
I've read some of these in advance, and they're boring.
Hey, Ganner Ryan, I wondered who both your day-to-day historical heroes are and what allured you to them.
Let's hear Ryan.
Who's your historical heroes?
Historical.
Yeah, go through all your knowledge of history.
Historical.
Paul from the Bible.
Paul from the Bible.
Yeah, who was stranded on Malta.
And Bob Dylan?
My heroes are that white guy in Britain who ended slavery, started a slave rebellion.
The serfs, S-E-R-F-S, had a rebellion.
What the fuck was his name?
He had a very white-sounding name.
Serf rebellion.
No, it was in Britain.
And then the other guy, what is his name?
Charles Meltaire, who started the Crusades and got the Christians to fight against the Muslims.
Built the butcher for fighting corruption and an onslaught of garbage immigrants.
Who else do I like from the past?
John What's his name from Leadhill Skolin who put the steam engine on its side and started the whole idea of factory production?
The list goes on.
St. Patrick, but that's what's so great about that reading list.
It'll give you a plethora of heroes in a world where the West are the villains.
And as Pat Buchanan's Death of the West explains, which is on that list, though the West were among many villains, yeah, that's his name, Walt Tyler.
Wat Tyler.
Wat Tyler.
I always want to go to some slavery thing with a Wat Tyler sign.
I'd be like, Wat Tyler.
Hey, guys.
Slavery.
Yeah, Wat Tyler.
And he said, though the West was among many villains, the West was the only hero, for it alone abolished slavery.
All right, are we running out of time here?
Are we losing momentum?
Is this still a good show?
Hey, Gavin, your merch sucks.
Okay, that's from a guy named Josh.
We got more merch coming out very soon.
More mooch.
More mooch.
Okay, this is from Mike.
Hey, guys, looking for advice if this was racist of me or not.
Some people said it was.
I needed to hire a new worker to start receiving resumes.
I came across a resume of a guy who had a very Muslim name.
I called him, we chatted, and I could tell he was fresh off the boat.
I told him I would be in touch after chatting for a bit.
I work with two Jews.
One's family came here after the Holocaust, and the other was born in Israel and came here about 10 years ago.
He fought in the Israeli army and told me horror stories about fighting the Palestinians and how it is true they throw gays off buildings there.
To avoid them being uncomfortable or getting upset with the new hire, I chose not to hire the guy out of respect for them.
I told a friend this and he said it was a racist act.
I thought it was more like building a sports team and having the right players on the field.
I ended up hiring a Jamaican guy and it's working out well.
Before the lockdown, we would go smash pints after work.
Didn't know Jamaicans love their pints as much as I do.
Yeah, it's a British Commonwealth.
Thoughts on whether I am racist or not?
Well, first of all, Islam is not a race.
And Jews are tolerant of Christians.
Hurdus, Hurdus, oh my God, my brain's just gone blank.
Muslims?
Hindus.
Hindus.
Hindus are tolerant of other cultures.
Muslims tend to be disproportionately intolerant.
So I would say that you don't hire him, but not because you're scared of the Jews being offended.
You're scared of him being offensive and threatening them or refusing to sit next to them or other dumb pains in the ass, not wanting a BLT that day.
I guess am I saying don't hire Muslims?
I'm saying you should know them a lot better.
But if you can only go from a name and a quick phone call, you have to go by the patterns.
And the patterns are they cause trouble.
Ideally, you would get to know this sweet Muslim man and see if he's a good Muslim man that would be kind to your Jewish friends.
But if you don't have time, you got to work with what you have.
And if that gets you in trouble, fine.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
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