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March 20, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
44:16
GOML LIVE #39 | LAST SHOW FROM NYC?

In this extra long DOOZIE of an episode we pooh pooh the virus, big up Trump, showcase every song written about Corona and then take just about every call in the world. Part 2 only on Censored.TV

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Time Text
It's enough of that music.
That music doesn't inspire.
That's kind of punk.
That's some punk we had made for the show, 70s punk.
And we're going through an incredible time right now where people need solace.
They need support.
They need to imagine.
And that's why Ryan and I are here to help you tonight on this special edition of GOML Live.
Imagine there's no heaven.
It's easy if you try.
No hell below us.
Above us only sky.
Imagine all the people live and fight.
Imagine there's no country.
Oh, sorry.
This isn't hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for.
And no religion too.
I hate this so much.
Imagine all the people living life in peace.
You might say I'm a dreamer.
But I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us.
And the world will imagine no possessions.
I wonder if you can.
No need for greed or hunger.
Wait, who needs hunger?
That's a good point.
Uh-huh.
I wonder if...
No, a brotherhood of man.
A brotherhood of man.
Imagine all the people.
Like the ethnic twist, sharing all the world.
You together now.
You might say, I'm a dreamer.
But I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you join us.
And the world will live as one.
There.
So you can do that without being cringe.
You're welcome for that.
I hope that made you sort of, I hope that gave you pause and made you think, huh, you know what?
I'm being greedy here.
It's weird that you find solace in a communist anthem where no one has any possessions and there's no god or religion.
Yeah, that's called China.
China.
China's what got us into this mess in the first place.
That's racist.
Don't call it Chinese food.
Call it food.
But before we start the show, I would like to thank my sponsor, Red Pill Red.
This is a very long show we have today.
And not Red Pill Red.
Sorry, I was reading Red Pill Read.
Red Pill.
But we're only going to make the first half hour free, but I think it's going to go longer than two hours.
But hold on a second.
I thought we were done singing that song.
I googled the Great Awakening because I was feeling philosophical and I found a new coffee.
It's called The Great Awakening from Redpill Living.com.
I ordered the Great Awakening coffee from redpillliving.com.
Unbelievable coffee.
I had a Great Awakening.
You need to keep shopping at redpellliving.com.
Keep shopping at Red Living Pill.
RedpillLiving.com.
See, this is the beauty of being in quarantine.
You don't have to go out and buy this stuff.
I've heard some gossip from insiders at the National Guard that they're going to be, they were told to pack for 30 days.
So they may be quarantining everyone in the entire country for two weeks, but they have enough food for 30 days in case it becomes 30 days.
And they're not announcing this until all the homes are guarded to prevent looting.
So they'll be stationing militia everywhere in every little town.
So when they announce that they're cutting off everything, including grocery stores, we won't kill each other.
So I also bought the.
This is a lie.
I haven't bought the Red Pill Living Wild Herb Essential Oil yet to see if it boosts my immunity, but I'm sure it will.
And I know I said I bought Great Awakening Coffee.
We're yet to do that.
This is the first day we've had this client, and I'm looking forward to it.
I think they're somehow linked to Johnny Apple CBD.
I'm not sure.
But we've been enjoying Cavefe coffee.
And I assume Great Awakening Coffee from Red Pill will be equally fantastic.
So when you go there, use the promo code Gavin15 and you get 15% off all purchases.
That's 15% off.
Just use promo code Gavin15 at redpillliving.com.
Gavin15, blah, blah, blah.
I fucking hate the way these reads are written.
He's got me repeating redpillliving.com like 50 times.
I'm not doing that.
I see something cool in here.
They like from all different countries.
Italy, France, Costa Rica, Colombia.
Oh, that's a trip.
That's pretty crazy.
There's a lot of them.
Yeah, you can try the different.
We should order one from every country and then we'll give reviews on each one.
That makes a hell of a lot more sense than pretending that I bought tons and I love it and I feel awakened.
True that.
Hey, ad guy who gets his clients, don't write this shit for me anymore, okay?
Just tell me the who, what, when, where, why about the thing, and then I'll talk about it and send me a free sample and I'll try it like you did with the beef.
But I'm not pretending that I do this shit.
Mother Nature's hella pissed.
He's back.
Let's check out that Gail Godot thing.
She is a fucking smoke show.
But here's the thing celebrities need to understand about themselves.
Back in the 40s and 50s, after World War II, celebrities were actually exceptional, exceptional, exceptional people.
That's why Ronald Reagan was such a great president, because movie stars were actually fantastic people.
Now it's just the prettiest girl or boy from your fucking annoying drama club in high school.
In other words, losers.
That's why the men are so short.
Because they couldn't play sports, so they got involved in drama.
And there was some gays there who couldn't, you know, butch themselves up enough to sound normal.
And then there was gays like Tom Cruise who were able to do it, but still imagine.
And then the pretty girls are just like Elizabeth Banks, who's, you know, look at Charlie's Angels.
She's a failure when she tries to do things on her own.
But as Ezra Levant points out, they've been reading these scripts. for so long that they think they're wise.
And then they start talking because they believe the character in the movie, like Vin Diesel.
When I did How to Be a Man, it was the same studio that had just done a movie for Vin Diesel.
And people who worked at the studio told me he'd show up as a character.
Like he'd get off his bike, take off his helmet, throw it to his buddy, go sit down, put his feet up on the desk, and like, I need my check.
And they go, we wire you your money every time.
We don't have check.
I mean, I can print out a check, I guess.
And he'd leave with his check.
Vin Diesel is the perfect celebrity.
He's also the sexiest thumb in the history of hands.
What a hot thumb.
Hot thumb!
Howling on the streets.
I want to suck and taste you.
Actual lyric from Hot Boys by Pete Townsend.
Which we can play once we're off the paywall.
Yeah, don't ban me, YouTube, for saying that.
Robots have been banning me like crazy.
I'm suspended from YouTube for seven days.
And YouTube says, it's just, it's the robots.
Twitter is doing this too.
Once China attacks the world with far more effectiveness than ISIS could ever dream of, big tech's first solution is let's get Chinese robots to infiltrate our tech and ban all the people that are conservative and also start rumors that it was started in America and also shit on Trump.
China is asshole!
The president of the country.
That sounds like a good solution to me.
And it's also a great way to ban conservatives.
You say, sorry, dude, we couldn't come to work and the robots had to do it.
Michelle Malkin called him out on this.
But I don't really care.
I don't care if I get banned from YouTube.
I don't care about all this danger, even if it is 30 days with the National Guard.
I've already built this pirate ship that you can't fire me from.
I've already been ostracized in my community, had my car vandalized, signs on my lawn, banners on the highway calling me a Nazi.
So what are you going to fucking do?
Come at me, bro.
I was talking to Anthony about our ammunition, and I was counting my gigantic fucking 30-odd 6 shells today.
And I've got packs and packs of it.
I won't say how much I have, but say you only had 20.
A 30-odd 6.
I told you this, right?
I shot a rabbit with it once, and the rabbit was gone.
It left this dimension.
It wasn't like it had a bullet hole.
It was just, poof.
It was just fur.
So if you shoot someone in the head with this, with my, with my rifle, they're just going to have like a hole in their head.
Like you can't have a wake.
So say I use 10 of these bullets.
I guess we're in such an intense state, right?
That the bodies are going to stay outside because no one's doing any collecting, right?
That's why they came to my house because they were starving because there was no food, which is a fucking ridiculous sentiment.
I just need bread.
Yeah, there's no bread.
You have to come and try to kill me to get bread.
Bull shit.
What is this?
Cormac McCarthy's The Road.
Anyway, so say I use like five bullets and kill five intruders.
There's five dead bodies in front of my house.
Yeah.
A lot of cleanup.
I was talking to guys that say, yeah, I'm saving my AR-15 for when shit gets really crazy.
I just have buckshot and my shotgun, and then my handgun just has 22s.
So you'll just be like injuring people for the first little while.
And then the buckshot, the same thing, just like putting some holes in their ass.
So they run away.
Then the AR-15 is when I really start murdering people.
So how many cadavers are in front of your house at this point?
Like blood is every whole front lawn is blood.
Your whole driveway is the bloody angle.
Just leave.
Just go somewhere else.
So I don't think you need like a hundred bullets.
Speaking of the bloody angle, we were there yesterday.
We walked outside the office.
And non-subscribers won't know this, but we did a tour of Chinatown.
And oh, sorry, you have Times Square.
And then we took my car.
We've been driving to work because the trains are not safe.
No one's on them.
In fact, I think this might be the end of our studio shows.
I think I might be shooting from home next week, which is weird because we won't have the TriCaster.
We won't be able to cut to things.
And I saw Stephen Colbert doing his show from his balcony on YouTube.
It's not in the notes, but God, it sucked.
It really stripped bare what these shows are.
It's 14 people busting their ass to send in 40 jokes.
And then a guy reads the jokes with his eyebrows, going, what?
And then pretending he's making it up as he goes, but you can tell he's just reading.
Look at that.
This is really what talk shows are when they have writers.
You're not going to show the video, Ryan?
Oh, they didn't have one on that site.
Well, you might want to go to a site called YouTube.
By the way, folks who watched yesterday's episode, you may have noticed that it changed three times.
That's because Ryan kept forgetting shit we had shot, which I don't understand because we went to like four or five locations and he forgot two of them twice.
Can you fucking believe that?
I said, where's the thing where we're on the stairs of Times Square?
And he goes, oh, sorry.
Adds a bit.
And I go, no, no, that's when we were by the homeless woman with the dreads.
Where's where we were by the stairs?
Well, you're going to have to put this back on manual focus.
Oh, damn.
And he goes, oh, yeah, that too.
So yesterday's show was uploaded thrice.
Anyway, Times Square wasn't as abandoned as people say it is, but it's pretty abandoned.
I mean, that guy to my right, sitting down, is a brutally homeless man whose entire back is black.
Even though he's black!
He's wearing his back is black.
It hit the sack.
He's a fucking bum and he's whack.
His back is black because that's where he sleeps.
He's wearing a beige, beige attire.
It's construction workers, bums.
We went to the Bloody Angle, which I just mentioned, in Chinatown.
Site, a lot of deaths were there in the gangs of New York days.
There it is.
I've never seen that thing not be mobbed.
Doyer Street, I think it's called.
The post office is on it.
And then we went down to the war memorial and we drove through the West Village.
Chinese gangs.
It's a fun thing to do.
I recommend you, if you live anywhere near Manhattan, just put the family in the car and go toot around, especially if the National Guard's going to be saying we can't leave our homes and roads are closed down.
But anyway, that's what I was talking about.
Look at Stephen Colbert reading from an iPad teleprompter.
There are some officials who agree with each other, like California Garbage.
I don't think you play too much of that because YouTube audio is just a little sample of that audio.
Pretty bad.
I can't.
Maybe I'll still be suspended from YouTube.
But you get the idea.
You can look it up yourself.
And he's cold.
His nose is red.
And we'll get to that.
And because just like on SNL, when they talk to people like this, what?
We're not going to be there on Friday.
And I think it's kind of nuts that so many people are fighting back.
Are you sure that that's what we want to do?
And you're like, what the fuck's the matter with your eyes?
It's the same with Colbert.
He's reading his teleprompter like that, and he looks like he's touched.
He looks like he ain't right in the head.
So I don't want to do that.
I don't want to sit on my balcony on my porch.
So what I was thinking, though, Ryan, you could come to my house and we could just watch movies.
And the way that we would be able to show them without getting busted is we broadcast them on ourselves.
Sure, sure.
You know, so now we're not stealing the movie and uploading it.
It's art.
It's like built-in commentary.
Yeah, and we could cover so much of the screen that it would be more like that robot theater thing.
Mystery science theater.
Mystery science theater, but they were just a little shadow on the bottom.
We'll be the majority of the fucking thing.
More so than Beavis and Butthead as well.
Yeah, maybe you can send in some ideas of movies we should watch.
I was thinking Hustlers, we've already done.
I'm giving that away.
Cats, Charlie's Angels.
What was the other one I wanted to do?
Hustlers, Cats, Charlie's Angels.
Well, then there's a badass one, but I don't think we want to watch Mandy.
No, no, no, no.
We don't want to watch a good movie.
That's not funny.
I don't think you mentioned that.
Then we'll just be sit there captivated.
Whoa.
I thought I had four in mind.
Hustlers, Charlie's Angels.
You had part one and part two.
No, no, no.
Anyway, we'll figure that out.
Maybe we'll break into the studio on Thursday and come back here.
Bet DSI, 15 minutes in.
Is it?
Or is it Blue Chew?
Is it Blue Chew?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Blue Chew.
Blue Chew.
Red Pill.
Blue Chew.
Blue Chew has been our sponsor since the beginning.
And thank you to these guys.
This is sort of how you build a pirate ship: you have loyal sponsors who support you.
Blue Chew is essentially what Viagra is.
It's everything like that, but without the exorbitant costs.
You can go onto the site.
You should show the site.
You can go onto the site and a medical professional will talk to you and decide if you're eligible.
And then they will send it to you in a very discreet package.
Now, if you use the promo code Gavin, you get 15% off.
You also get free delivery.
I don't understand why you wouldn't do this.
No, wait a minute.
You pay for delivery for shipping and the pills are free.
That's all you pay is the shipping.
Yes.
All you pay is the shipping.
So shouldn't you just have it safe?
Even if you're not Mr. Flaccid, shouldn't you just be prepared for that?
It's like having a generator.
And if there's one thing we've learned from coronavirus, it's that you should have a generator for your home.
You have to be prepared.
Are you prepared?
I don't care if you're married, single, dating, in a relationship.
For that special time, you have to be ready to rock.
Now, you partiers who are going out till all hours, you need it more than anyone else.
So please go to bluechew.com, use promo code Gavin, get a fantastic rebate.
You get a shipment free, but you have to pay for the shipping.
So you get the actual Blue Chew free.
And then you're safe.
Maybe you don't use it for six months.
I haven't used my generator in years, but it's there.
It's hard to get hard when there's widespread panic.
And we need to procreate.
So that way humanity doesn't die off.
That's an angle I had not thought of.
A bloody angle.
Um, also before we get to Gail Godot, is it Gal Godot or Gail?
I think it's Gal Gal.
What kind of name is Gal?
I don't know, it's just like dude.
Dude, Rivera.
That's like being named Bum.
You're a bum, Charlie.
None of the gals like you.
You're on a one-way ticket to Palocalle.
Guy Pierce.
That guy's name's Guy.
Oh, yeah.
Guy Pierce and Gal.
Guys and gals.
They have a podcast they're doing, Guy and Gal.
Actually, when I saw this video we're about to watch, I thought a friend of mine was saying, oh, don't you miss Kumal and Mindy Kaling?
Yeah, they would be perfect for this.
I'm surprised they're not in it, but I think it's all gals pals.
But anyway, before we get to that, also in censored.tv news, Copper Cab is determined to fight Alex Jones.
And he's already in training for it.
Now, I don't think Alex Jones has agreed to do this yet, but I know Alex.
And he would happily fight anyone at any time.
Yes, he would.
In fact, he often begs me to punch him three times so he can punch me once.
And punching him feels like punching a radiator.
It hurts like hell.
And when he punches you, it feels like the SWAT team is using a battering ram to open your front door.
It fucking kills.
What does punching Copper Cab feel like?
That is also very unique.
I fought a lot of guys, a lot of big guys.
And one of my top sparring partners at the gym, Tommy Fazzo, I fight him, and even though he's got like, he doesn't have a six-pack, he's got like a belly.
Still, when you punch it, you feel like you're hitting something solid.
But, oh my God, punching Copper Cab, I said it before.
It's like a shower curtain.
Like you just go through flabby.
I think he must have lost a ton of weight recently because nothing stops you.
And his punches are so slow.
I didn't know that he was such a shitty fighter when he originally pitched this fight to me.
So I was pretty nervous.
Like when I spar at the gym, I get the shit kicked out of me on a regular basis.
And they're all smaller than Copper Cab.
Copper Cab's a big boy.
So I thought, uh-oh, here we go.
And it was pathetic.
It was so easy to skip to deke out his punches.
So that's Copper Cab fighting Alex Jones.
We don't know when that's going to happen, but we're very excited about it.
And then also Milo, this isn't in the future, this is in the past.
He did a debate special, the Democratic Debates, that no one watched because it's two angry old men screaming at each other.
He did that with Uncle Tony.
That's Uncle Tony, right?
Uncle Tony Redpill.
Uncle Tony Redpill.
Ironic that Red Pill's our main sponsor of this show.
You're going to go downtown, get your butt cheeks divided.
I wrote that.
Remember that?
He was at the He Would Not Divide Us thing.
Oh, yeah.
He got the viral video with him and Greek Tony.
Or Greek Greg the Greek.
Yeah.
I thought those two were inseparable.
They didn't really talk too much.
No.
Yeah, it happens.
No.
It happens.
No, it happens with Trump derangement syndrome, but they both love Trump.
They probably argued over whose mom's sauce was better or something.
Ah, they're not friends no more.
That hurts.
That makes me sad.
That really does.
Yeah.
I think they're good.
No, they're not good.
They're not good, are they?
No, those guys were inseparable.
And now they're...
Now they're separating their buttcheeks.
Um...
All right, so let's finally get to this.
Oh, then we got Biggs was doing the whole episode on coronavirus.
Soph does an entire thing about conspiracies.
And John Miranda does a whole show about how, like, not a whole show, but about how Republicans can't get the Latino vote.
He chastises them for not getting Latino, but he says it's easy.
It should be easy.
Just focus on their Catholicism.
Hey guys, we're pro-life and we don't like Drag Queen Story Hour.
Join us.
And Gary's mailbag, of course, was a gem.
Gary's mailbag, you shot one without me today.
Yes.
Yeah, it went pretty good.
I'm looking forward to seeing that.
Yes.
How did you guys get along?
Great.
I understand he brought you some grain.
Yeah.
Yeah, I got to bring it to my house.
Don't forget.
It's over there.
Just throw it in the garbage, dude.
I can't.
That's really mean.
No, it's not.
He hauled it all the way from I don't even know where.
I don't know how.
When a bum gives you a bag of grain, that's like right out of Jack and the Beanstalk.
Yeah, that's a very fair tale.
It's going to grow 600 feet high and have a giant in it.
But here's the thing.
He doesn't know anything about what's going on right now.
He doesn't notice.
He's like, wow, I guess he thinks every day is Sunday.
Oh, he doesn't watch the news, right?
So he just thinks, oh, that's true.
It's a desert.
So this is a sign.
That's why it's a sign.
He's bringing me sustainable dry goods in a time when I need it the most, and he doesn't know why that's important.
So I'm going to keep it.
You know, if God was going to communicate with someone, it should be someone who's a little touched.
Touched, yes.
Like Stephen Colbert.
All right, let's get to this.
We're finally ready.
Hey, YouTube, are you going to fuck me for this?
Is this some sort of, does CBS own this?
Okay.
Her forehead's a little large.
Ladies, if your forehead is more than a four and it's like a five head or a six head, get some bangs.
The Lord made provisions for that.
Don't you think that's like an inch too much?
I think so.
You know, in Korea, they see a small forehead as very ugly.
Like if a girl meets a guy and his forehead's like this, it's over.
That sucks.
So she'd be hot in Korea.
And believe me, she's hot here.
But that's just a minor complaint.
And here's another thing.
Wait, let me say one more thing.
You know, Canadians, and I love my people, I'm Canadian, but Canadians can be very corny.
And when you're watching a show that's Canadian, you're just like, something's kind of off.
The lighting is kind of wrong.
There's something, I'm sorry, but kind of uncool about my people, Canadians.
And yeah, sorry.
Our country's a tenth the size of yours as far as finances and population.
Sometimes our shit looks a little half-assed and cheap and not wearing sunglasses.
Did you see Trudeau getting his coat before this before the press conference?
No.
Okay, I'll show you that.
It sucks.
Israel is twice that corniness.
Like on Halloween or is it no, Purim, right?
Which is the Jewish Halloween.
In Israel, I was there at the time and you're looking at costumes going, a cowboy?
You're just a cowboy?
Like they don't get culture.
There's no humor in their costumes.
That's probably American Purim.
Or is that Jerusalem?
Yeah, look, someone has a cowboy hat on and someone's a surgeon.
The Hasids doing it is kind of different.
I'm talking about normal mainstream Orthodox Jews in Israel dressing up for their Halloween.
And they just, it's super fucking corny.
And they're still into rave music and stuff.
I love my Israelis.
Don't get me wrong.
But that, I'm just trying to explain the Gal Gadot thing where she doesn't get how unbelievably cheesy it is to get a bunch of celebrities together.
So she's coming at it from a cornball angle because she comes from a country that's uncool.
I'm sorry, Israel.
You're not cool.
Not a lot of countries are cool if it's any constellation.
But the rest of the people in the video are coming at it from a people give a shit about us and think that we have something important to say.
So it's two different angles.
I just thought I should explain that.
In self-quarantine, and I got to say, these past few days got me feeling a bit philosophical.
Why are Israeli Jews so much hotter than American Jews?
It affected the entire world.
Everyone.
I had no idea.
Who you are, where you're from.
Black, white.
And I saw, I ran into this video of this Italian guy playing the trumpet in his balcony.
Yeah, that wasn't corny.
To all the other people who were locked inside their homes.
You'll notice, by the way, the trumpet guy was doing it not knowing he was filmed and doing it to his fellow, to the people in the surrounding buildings.
Gal and her friends have to do this staring at their fucking phones.
Me, me, me.
Something so powerful and pure.
And I thought I can do something powerful in this.
Imagine how powerful and pure her pussy is.
It probably gobbles your phallus.
It's going to get me kicked off.
How would it do that?
Well.
It would be like.
I could zoom in on the other camera.
You think it actually moves?
Yeah.
That seems grips it.
That seems crazy and a problem.
Yeah.
Imagine a horse barfing in reverse.
With no teeth, hopefully.
Yeah, a toothless horse barfing in reverse is what it's like to bone this gal.
Can we stop hearing this?
Oh, here we go.
Oh, heaven.
It's easy if you're not.
You're done.
You're dead to me, Kristen Wiggin.
No hell.
I had to look this guy up.
He's a model.
He's a male model.
Really?
Yeah.
For what?
Average guys anonymous?
He models people's buttholes.
And this guy's some British rapper, no one's heard of.
That was a little bad.
I'm sorry.
Let's hear it.
That's what I was trying to channel when I did it.
It seems like he's missing teeth.
Bobazon with scale.
I love his working-class jacket to Carhart.
Imagine all the people.
Who is that?
That's, I think, a model, too.
No, he's an actor.
He was in Sonic the Hedgehog.
Oh, gross.
Main character.
I hate celebrities' nostrils.
Oh, wow.
I did not notice that.
They're so prominent.
You know, because their features have to emote.
So they have like these lips and these nostrils and these eyeballs and these cowcatcher chins.
Tell me almost a parody of facial features.
Yeah, it's too much.
It's like someone is drawing with a crayon and they're really pushing down hard.
Oh.
What happened?
I double-clicked.
Hey, guys.
Hi, gal.
You hear?
Oh, yeah.
All the people.
Say pause.
Yeah.
So Sarah has this thing.
I'm a little cute little girl.
It's almost like Adam Carollo's, no, Adam Sandler's little guy.
What is that?
You do that, baby.
And Sarah has this like, I'm just like a little stone girl in overalls and Chuck Taylor's jellyfish.
Just trying to get through the day, making fun of Jesus and making cum jokes about Christians.
Don't mind me.
That's why she was so perfect in that cartoon where she was the princess.
You know that movie?
Wreck-It Ralph.
Oh, okay, gotcha.
She was just a little silly princess.
And then she realizes she can't sing.
So she does this faux, humble.
Like, I can't really do the high parts, so I'll exaggerate it.
Comic relief.
Who the fuck is this?
Is this someone's kid?
Who is this guy?
I mean, technically, it has to be.
Is this like a snowboarder?
Is this that looks like a snowboarder?
Sure.
I could buy that.
It's some random.
It's your brother's friend's snowboarder friend.
Yeah, that's a little brother.
Yeah.
Wow.
I don't know.
Those kids, my son's, my oldest boy's 11.
I'm going to start having these fucking twats in my kitchen soon.
You usually know who people are too, so I was kind of looking forward to you telling me who this was.
I have no fucking clue who that little snowboarding pothead is, but he sure loves himself.
Oh my god, I can listen to that a thousand times.
Oh, emergency, no countries, yeah.
It is.
No conscious yellow.
He's Ray Charles meets fucking Nina Simone.
Oh man.
What a fucking retail.
The left can't do any song thing like compilation.
They're so unaware.
They are so self-unaware.
Like that, this is a fight song.
This is a datsu dight song.
Which, of course, was Elizabeth Banks.
This one's for Hillary.
Boop, bop, boop, doop, bop, boop, boop, bop, boop, bada doop.
I'm a big wave on the ocean.
Like I was saying that one.
And it's this.
I can start an explosion.
Just like Sarah Silverman did the comic relief.
He's like, I can start an explosion.
I have the douche chilling.
I'm douche chilling myself.
I have, like, I could show you.
They're on my arc.
Wait, I got no autofocus, but just trust me, whatever.
Then there's this fucking nostril festival.
Who the fuck are you?
Jimmy Fallon.
Nothing to kill.
Isn't hard to do.
Oh, it's Jimmy Fallon.
Yeah.
Playing it safe.
I saw he was in it.
I read he was in it, and I thought he must have had himself pulled out when he saw the final result.
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for.
Nothing like to kill or die for.
Meanwhile, we've heard this song with the most perfect production in the world.
So they're giving us this shit version of a song that we've all heard a million times done perfectly by one of the greatest musicians of all time.
Like, here, how about this?
Nothing to kill or die for, you guys.
Nothing to kill or die for.
You suck.
I'm going to buy every one of their segments on the list.
Why did Moby fuck you?
And then who's this?
Is that Zendaya next or Zoe Kravitz or someone?
Or die for?
This is my favorite one.
I don't know.
A no-religant.
What is this?
AMSR or whatever?
Angel.
This really.
Hey, when Gal sends you.
You don't have to do it.
It's not like, hey, this is going to raise a lot of money for kids with severe face burns.
Oh, shit.
Okay, I'll do it.
Hi, imagine all the people.
This is just a random, idiotic act of kindness from some cornball Israeli chick, and it's not raising any money.
Like Kumail and his ugly girlfriend have this podcast out, and it's a temporary podcast, and they're sending all the money from their podcast to charity.
I'd be stunned if they raised $1,000.
You got plenty of money in the bank there, Mr. Ript.
Why don't you, your girlfriend and her big nose, both of your big noses, just donate $1,000?
No, because we'd rather showboat and make it about us.
Fuck, that guy is a turd.
Look at his eyebrows.
Yeah, it's always like, huh?
What the?
Should we finish the video on this side or should we?
Oh, let's finish it on the other side.
Meaning we're going to kill ourselves.
Oh.
To get back to Red Pill.
It's a coffee company.
It's a coffee company, but it's a way of life.
We're yet to sample their wares.
They just started with us today, but we're very excited about it.
I think I'm going to start going by country.
Not decaf, but I want to try Italian, French.
You know what we should do?
You know what would be great for them?
Or a taste test?
A little taste test.
That's better than sitting there lying saying I just bought it and it was awesome.
It'd be cool to do a taste test.
Which one you like the best and see which one it is.
Do a reveal.
We'll do like a little comedy.
Now that's fun.
That is fun.
That's fun.
But we'll pre-record it.
You know why?
Why?
I don't like having coffee after noon.
Oh, that's true.
Yes.
I do.
I can have coffee all the time.
One of my rules.
I found some Adderall today in my medicine cabinet.
This is the perfect time for Adderall.
My daughter was having trouble with her homework, which was fucking hard.
What subject?
Oh, algebra.
She's 13.
It was like 10x plus 3y equals 16.
And then 4y equals 10x, then in brackets, 2 plus 3y, end a bracket.
That's all I'm telling you.
So you have to sort of isolate y in one of the equations and then plug it into the other equation to get to get one of the variables and then use that answer to go back to the original equation, get the other variable.
I got it wrong like twice and the fucking paperwork.
I mean, I had like 16 pages.
I'm not exaggerating.
I had eight pages and I write small.
I go, this is fucking hard.
But the blue pill got me through it.
Then I put my, my son has these baseballs that he has signed, got them up on the wall, mounted.
I got him this case for all his baseballs.
He's got, oh, there we go.
And I said, this made me so fucking mad.
And thank God I'm not taking testosterone anymore because I would have punched a hole through a wall.
I said, put the name of the person on the ball.
He goes, no, I can't.
I can't wreck the ball.
No, shithead.
No, you have to.
Write it on a post-it note part, the sticky part, super small, like Ahmed Rosario, right?
Then you cut that out and just stick it on the back.
Post-it note glue is very ungluey.
And he goes, no, I can remember them all.
And I go, really?
He had forgotten at least three of those fuckers.
And you have to know to identify it for.
Yeah, like they see the one in the middle with no signature, New York Mets Foundation.
That's a Granderson home run.
But the one, the one with at the top middle there, with no signature on it.
Okay, yeah, yeah, or the Rawlings.
Right.
But the one next to it with that fat looking D and then the F, I go, who's this?
And he goes, I don't know.
And I go, you know what, buddy?
I don't mind when you do things that are wrong or you make mistakes.
That's life.
But it's when I predict the mistake and then the mistake is made that I get pissed off.
And I knew this was going to happen.
You told me to ignore, you ignored my advice, and now we're stuck and we don't know who the fuck this is.
I hate when people that can't do that, they can't admit that the advice is there and then they wind up doing something wrong anyway.
One of these days, Alice, to the moon.
But anyway, here's something, a little strange side note here.
So I took a picture of that ball.
I sent it to Don Camilla, Anthony Cumille's sister.
I put it on Parlor where I have about 23,000 followers.
Then I put it on Telegram where I only have 9,000 followers.
Don Camilla put it on her Facebook page and she got it immediately, John Franco.
Telegram had nothing for me and I only got a few comments.
Telegram also solved it in Seconds Flat with like nine comments.
Or no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
22 comments.
So Telegram has a third of the followers, yet it seems way more effective.
And I prefer Parlor.
It's more aesthetic.
It's more user-friendly.
So that's, I'm going to, I know the guy who runs Parliament.
I'm going to ask him about that.
We did a cool interview with him.
He knows nothing about social media.
Select culture.
Yeah.
Nothing with social media.
As he runs a social media.
All right.
So back to redpillliving.com.
We're going to do a taste test with them.
And we'd like you to do the same.
Please check them out.
Please support them.
They are a new sponsor here.
And when you support our sponsors, you're supporting free speech.
So use promo code Gavin15 and try this coffee.
Give it a whirl.
They've got the beans, as Mocha Joe would say.
They've got the beans.
This is where Larry David gets his beans for what's his Latte Larry's.
Fucking curb your enthusiasm.
Don't sleep on it.
It keeps getting better every year.
This new season is so good.
It's like the Sopranos where I'm like, don't end, don't end, don't end.
I don't want to look at the time because I cherish every moment of it.
You fuck it up, Mocha Joe.
The Mocha Joe.
Oh, yeah, that's one thing annoying, though.
His best friend, what's his name?
JB Smoove.
JB Smooth.
You know how old Jewish billionaires love hanging out with ghetto blacks and just eating licorice and shooting the shit?
You know how that happens all the time?
I'm not familiar with that, but I'm not a rich person.
I'm not familiar with that trend.
Is that big?
Does Bloomberg live with fucking EZE?
Is that a thing?
That'd be pretty cool.
No, it's not a thing.
But it looks good on that.
And he's got a Puerto Rican woman's necklace, which you pointed out.
Well, that really pissed me off, too.
Maybe JB Smoove is a wigger.
Oh.
In that.
Well, dude, he drives around RVs.
He's dressed like, I mean, like a.
Yeah, like, how do you be a black dude and you don't know that you don't write, you don't have a name on a chain.
That's a Puerto Rican girl thing to do.
That's a Hispanic female thing.
It's not what men do.
It's sort of like when, what's his name?
Isn't he also named Smooth?
No, Sway.
Sway from MTV.
He would have his dreads up in a big thing.
And I'm watching going, dude, that's what African and Jamaican women do.
Women.
Or when Krusty Punks will have their tattoo here, like dudes will have a goatee of Maori tribe here.
And then I'm looking at them going, uh, that's what a Maori wife wears to show that she's married to a man.
He doesn't do it anymore.
I think he heard me making fun of him.
I think he wears just a beanie now.
No, this is his current look.
I know.
He's got the beanie, not the thing.
No, but there was a while there we would have a you'd have all these dreads in this big Dr. Zeus hat, which is a fucking female thing to do.
It looked so stupid.
No, that's not it.
It was like Marge Simpson-sized.
Anyway, so that's the end of that.
We've already ended the episode.
Oh, it's done?
We cut it off?
Well, we ended the free episode.
Oh, okay.
So we didn't do the get fired and the.
Yeah, I guess get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting, throw the papers.
Whatever.
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