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March 9, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:22:52
S02E134 - VIRAL VIDEOS [2020-03-09 - S02E134 - VIRAL VIDEOS]
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Time Text
Don't call it a comeback.
I've been here for years.
I'm rocking my pants.
What's up is it fair?
Making the tears rain down like a monster.
Listen to the bass go boom, explosions.
Hey, live from New York.
Just get off my lawn with Kevin Simmons.
That'll make you call the cops.
Don't you dare stare.
You better...
Thank you.
Little delay there on the stop button on my ghetto blast.
Things getting old.
The buttons falling.
I took the motorcycle to Manhattan today.
Breezing through traffic, weaving in out of cars, parking for a fortune, but it's worth it.
And that's why I have my helmet here at the office, at the studio, which a lot of you say is gay.
I've noticed that with young men, like when I told those young, those Zoomers that I wanted to fuck them with my heels on, they went, you're a faggot, Gavin.
And I sympathize, because I remember before my sexuality, when it was just starting, that freaked the fuck out of me.
I remember being 13 and seeing the Rocky Horror Picture Show and loving it.
I actually saw it with Shane, who I ended up starting Vice with 10 years later.
And I thought that movie was cool, but why'd they have to have that disgusting gay scene where Frankenferder and Barry Bostwick, Brad, they horse around?
How disgusting.
Now, after being drowned in Faggotry for my entire adult life, I'm just like, oh yeah, there was a gay scene in there.
You don't care anymore.
So like someone calling your helmet gay when you're 15 is the end of the world.
I remember I had a poster on my wall of Rod Stewart and my buddy goes, you know that he sucked off so many sheep he had to have his stomach pumped from all this sheep jizz, which I'm not even sure exists.
And I was just like, oh, okay.
Took out the tax, rolled it up.
Nope.
No sheep fuckers on my wall.
And that can be used against you.
Like I've noticed when the alt-right spies are trying to turn people away from me, we don't need to see Rod Stewart, Ryan.
They'll say, yeah, he stuck a dildo up his ass to own the libs.
Well, no, I stuck a dildo up my ass because it was funny.
And it wasn't really up my ass.
Like, they make that sound like it was on a chat room.
Or what do you call those?
A chat group?
What do you call it?
A webcam.
But I was a webcam boy.
I was making fun of how Hillary dances like something's up her ass.
You know how I know you didn't really fully commit to it?
Why?
Because if it was a bet and we're like, I'll give you $100 if you put a dildo in your ass, you wouldn't get the $100.
That wouldn't be bet worthy.
We would be like, it's not really in your ass, dude.
Yeah.
Get it up there.
Well, the way to be sure is to smell the bass.
Okay.
That's the new t-shirts we're putting out.
Smell the bass.
I'm a little verclimped because I just found out that Tommy Robinson signed to InfoWars.
Oh, not us?
Why wouldn't you sign to Censored.tv, Tom?
We're your buddies.
I think Ryan and I are going to go up to England for his trial and get into some mischief.
But Ryan had a brilliant idea that I'm borderline thinking of going to Amazon and buying right now.
We show up there in London, England with striped shirts on, berets and red scarves and baguettes and say, hello, we are finally in London, England.
London town.
We could buy the baguettes there.
The thing I like about that joke is I don't get it.
It's just that I'm so culturally retarded.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, we play that opening song, not because the weather is beautiful enough to ride your motorcycle, but because it reminds us of boxing.
Obviously, it's a boxing song.
And Adam Nowaki, no, Kaonaki, was absolutely destroyed on Saturday night.
And it was a, he's a great fighter.
Do you have his sizzle reel?
Yeah, it's not numbered.
It's between 18 and 19.
Oh, I love this shot.
I forget who that was.
He was fighting.
But go back, go back, go back.
There's nothing better than seeing a guy going, what you going to do, bitch?
You call that a punch?
So he puts his arms down.
What you got, something?
He sticks his face out.
All right, fine.
I'll smash your face to smithereens if you want to stick your face out.
This guy's blocking me.
He's a Polack from South Brooklyn.
You know, Brighton Beach where all the Russians are by Coney Island.
He used to fight at Gleason's gym in Manhattan.
I know guys that have fought him, and apparently his fists feel like battering rams.
Like you feel like the SWAT team is breaking into your apartment every time you get hit in the face.
But your face is the apartment.
Yeah.
There's a kidnapping going on in your brain.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
Did you see that spit fly?
I think I felt it.
Anyway, he's up against this big Viking, but when you're up against a monster, you're just hoping that these little bonk, bonk, bonks, and it looks like the monster is losing.
He had landed like 200 punches for every 20 that Alanius landed, but he was just waiting.
All I need is one, one febreze, and you're dust in the wind.
Okay, this is my new thing.
After the guys knocked down, end the fight.
Like MMA, maybe I'm a pussy.
Maybe I'm too much of a sweetie to be a boxing fan, but this whole like, the comeback, don't call it a comeback.
Don't have a comeback.
You obviously can have a comeback in your career.
But once you're on your ass, I've been knocked unconscious before.
I didn't know who my children were.
I didn't know I had kids.
I knew my wife's name.
I knew it was relevant.
I didn't know who she was.
I had no idea what I was doing in Oakland, of all places.
And it took me 45 minutes to get my brain back.
Not fucking 10 seconds, not a 10 second count.
You're not you after you get knocked out.
It's sort of like some dude at the bar on the weekend was talking about that whole like, stop resisting, stop the resisting.
After they've tased.
After you've been tased, you're just in dinosaur mode.
You're not like, all right, that was a pretty good tasing.
I should probably put my hands behind my back.
You're not you.
You're chrome magnet.
It's primordial.
Like, same with when you see these skaters and they go, well, I'm going to light myself on fire and then go down this half pipe into the water.
And then the second they're on fire, they just go, blah, blah, blah.
They're not themselves anymore.
They become firemen.
It reboots your hard drive.
So while someone's hard drive is being rebooted, they shouldn't have to fight anyone.
And you'll notice in Saturday's fight, after he gets knocked down, he's not Adam Konaki anymore.
So let's show him first being knocked down.
That's 19.
Coming up quick, fast.
No, you're going to make it way bigger.
See, he got it right in there.
Now he's not doing well.
They probably should have ended the fight there, but I'll let the fight go on.
Alright, now he just, he's already dazed there.
It wasn't that much of a jab that put him up.
Now look at him stand.
Stop the fight here.
I don't like this whole, That's his wife.
He ended up in the hospital that night, by the way.
Look, see, that's not Adam anymore.
That's a stranger.
He became me.
Look at him.
He's not alive, right?
This is just sick.
I was yelling, stop the fight at this point.
Look at that.
Just stop.
And yes, there's a handful of times when a guy gets knocked out and he comes back and wins.
This wasn't one of those times.
Doesn't that guy remind you of Techno Viking, by the way?
Oh, yeah, the 2-1.
I showed that to my wife after seeing the fight.
And she goes, I've never seen that before.
How could you not have seen Techno Viking?
Like, how many views does that have?
This, oh, man.
Let's see.
This one has 613.
It's a re-upload.
Oh, yeah.
So she's dancing like this.
And some wasted dude, you may have to scroll ahead.
It's not wasted, but he's very high.
Everyone's on speed and MDMA and stuff.
No, no, no.
You went way too far ahead.
Yeah, go back a little bit more.
So the guy in the black tank top just sort of goes careening into her.
I don't think it's meant to be violent.
I think he's just like Adam Kaunaki, not himself.
So Viking Man grabs him, says, what are you doing, dude?
Stop it.
And then he does...
I'm showing you a viral video that everyone's seen, but it's relevant because I did some research.
This is the point.
The super point.
Make sure you do a super point if you ever want to keep someone in like, oh, you just cropped it because you're an asshole.
So now he's bad tripping.
Because if you're on speed in MDMA and you have your adrenaline starts pumping like that, you lose your fun vibe.
So it would take someone like a stranger to give you water and that sort of selfless gesture that would make you go, you know what?
I'm actually in a good mood.
And they all start following him.
They're waiting on his every move.
No, it's obviously the trolley that has the cameraman.
That's what they're following.
Do you think cameras are some sort of omnipotent eye?
Like God sent you this video?
If you're seeing something, it's being filmed, Ryan.
Okay.
So then he's just fucking GOTER!
Anyway, I checked him out recently, and you're never going to believe this.
I would put up like a hundred grand that you would never guess what happened to him.
He's a gardener.
No, actually, he works in research right now.
But he was a lumberjack, but when he was on speed, he punched a tree so hard, it fell onto his boss and broke his boss's leg.
Says they don't make speed like that anymore.
Or trees.
Okay, you ready for where he is now?
Yeah.
That guy that bumped into that chick, he married.
That link is just talking about how he sued the dude who made the video.
And this guy fucking bugs me because he says, for all intensive purposes.
For all intents and purposes.
And yes, when I say without further to do, I'm aware it's without further ado.
So that's just a video about the Viking I suing him.
But then there's this other article, which would be 2-3, talking about where are they now.
Well, yes, Steve is the guy wearing the black vest in the video, the guy I threatened.
That night we hooked up and had the best sex of our lives.
We got married last year.
He's married to that dude.
To that dude?
Yes.
Oh.
He's a gay.
Oh, oh, oh.
Why is he gay?
You are a gay.
He is now being gay.
Wow.
So he grabbed his arm like, hey, what are you doing with that chick?
But he really was like, I see something.
No, no, no.
Everything was legit.
But after the guy said, look, I'm sorry.
I was wasted.
I just fell on that girl.
And he was like, you have beastung lips.
You have perfect blowjob lips.
And he said, thanks.
This is where young men start to barf.
And old guys go, nothing wrong with that.
That's what we think of the gays.
We don't hate you.
We don't particularly like you.
We don't have an opinion on you.
Speaking of where are they now, is remember the Democracy Manifest guy, 2-4?
He was a guy that was arrested and he said, don't touch my penis.
He came to the place and come and arrested me.
Oh, yeah.
When Cecil George Edwards was arrested in the Chinatown Mall last Friday, the Valley Police thought they had one of Queensland's most wanted.
Instead, he was a petty criminal working under several aliases, the police allege a con man with a flair for acting.
What is the charge?
Hitting meoles!
Upulant Chinese mioles!
Oh, we got the wrong man.
We thought he was an international.
He must sell these paintings of himself getting arrested.
Which A, I laugh at, and B, I want.
I see that you know your judo well.
Yeah.
I wanted to think that I was off my head a lunatic, so they'd send me to a lunatic asylum so I could escape from there, because it's a bit hard to escape from a city watchhouse.
Their prisons are pretty secure.
Anyway, I've done me time.
I've started to do some paintings of that arrest because some people want them.
Painted by the hand of this victim of democracy.
Hope I can get a quit out of it.
One needs a quid, doesn't it?
Why starve?
I won't say ta-ta and farewell.
I'll say Alfieza and I love you all.
Anyway, I was checking out the chats, who have a new video about eating delicious pub food and then leaving.
I think they have two songs about pub food.
One is just called Pub Food, and the other one is about dining dashing.
What's this one called?
Yeah, this is Dine and Dash, which I guess they're accusing that guy of.
I hate when that dude, the singer of the chats, wears fucking sandals.
Can you turn it up perchance?
I want to go out and feel like a god But I don't have a fucking job I can't afford a proper fee I just wish I could eat But I don't have any cash So I'm never gonna do the Dine and Dash Dine and Dash Australia is going through a musical zenith that rivals Britain in 1977.
There are so many great bands like the Chats.
It's amazing.
And I'm banned from the country.
Go to the end of this video, because it's a Where Are They Now special we're doing here.
Yeah, so they get arrested.
What are you doing?
What do you know to these folks?
Wait, what's the charge?
Eating a meal, a second steakhouse meal.
Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest.
God, you've done Judo before, haven't you?
Look, he's cracking up.
Stop cracking up.
You're wrecking it.
Look at your head.
You don't even know where you are, you fool.
Amy.
There you go.
Catan fell.
What's he said?
Oh, see.
Easy.
Mike when I get up in penis.
What do you say?
Right when I get out my penis, something.
Well, in the original clip, he accused him of touching his penis.
Right.
We get SWAT teams in Australia for people who die into ash.
Is that what we're doing?
All right.
So I guess it's time to start the show at some point.
Coronavirus must be discussed.
I kept my kids home from school today, which felt like a pussy move.
I also took them to a bouncy place in New Rochelle, which is where the epicenter of the virus outbreak was.
I didn't really think about it till I got there.
But two things are going on.
One, blacks don't seem to think they can get it.
And the bouncy sky bounce or whatever in New Rochelle is 99% black.
I think I was the only white person there.
My kids don't count, right?
It is ghetto.
It's not just black.
It is ghetto.
Like do-rags on the staff.
And facial tattoos are not unusual.
That's sort of the norm.
Do-rags and facial tattoos are the norm.
New Rochelle fucking sucks.
God, it's a hellhole.
Anyway, all right, that's enough, Ryan.
And then the kids are like using the water fountain, so I'm making them wash their hands.
And I'm thinking, we're washing our hands, so we're at the germ epicenter of the germ epicenter of the germ epicenter.
Who cares if we wash our hands?
Anyway, a lot of Westchester schools are closing for the entire year now, ending their school year.
Wow.
So I thought, I'm going to wait a couple days.
And then if the school has a quarantine, at least I got on at the beginning of it, you know?
I'd hate to send my kids to school Monday, Tuesday, and then they have a quarantine for 10 days, and my kids were subject to it.
You know what I'm saying?
Now, if they don't ever do a quarantine, if they don't ever ban school, well, then I fucked up.
So we're rolling the dice.
But I don't know.
How do you feel about coronavirus?
Sticks and hammers all pissed.
I am the aunt angry.
Sticks and hammers all pissed.
We should get Sticks and Hammer on the show.
Yeah, I think it sticks hex and hammer, but.
Sticks, Hex, and Hammer.
You're not allowed to make up a funny nickname for yourself and then get pissed when people get it wrong.
I can get pissed at McGinnis instead of McInnes, but you can't get pissed at Styx and Hexenhammer.
Weird dude.
Is that three different things?
Styx, Hex, and Hammer, or Hexen?
Aren't you looking at the actual word as you ask that?
Yeah, but is that...
I know what a hammer is.
All right, everyone.
What a Hexen.
Styx, Hexen, Hammer.
666.
He's a Satanist, you know.
As one is wont to do.
Okay, much funner than the coronavirus, of course, is Carlos Maza.
Great.
I didn't include this.
Great article in the New York Post about him.
I believe it's a tweet.
The picture is him saying, sorry, grandma, we're communists now.
His mother is a multi-millionaire.
There we go.
YouTube socialist Carlos Maza slams the wealthy, but lived in luxury.
Now, this is a pattern I am seeing.
The real most fervent communists, the ones who think handouts are the best, are the ones who have been receiving handouts their entire lives, including the guy who started it all, Marx.
Marx never had a job.
Marx was a rich kid.
He was subject of philanthropy.
Rich people gave it to him.
Now, I'll allow you to discuss socialism if you don't bitch about rich people all the time.
And you say, look, I may or may not have made a lot of money, but I still think we should pay more, blah, blah, blah.
But that's not the way Carlos Maza's spending dialogue works out.
He talks about eating the rich, literally.
And he says, just found out James Carville, who spends his time lecturing Democrats for being too far left, lives in an absolutely obscene four-story mansion.
And dear God, can we stop taking political advice from the ultra-wealthy?
Carlos Mazza is ultra-wealthy.
Now, John Levine discovered this.
John Levine, I talked to him.
You might remember him from the footage at CPAC, young Jewish guy.
He was also the guy that got attacked by Antifa filming right after they beat up that old Jewish dude.
I had a bad feeling about him ever since I had dinner with him and Coulter, where he said, I wrote a hit piece about you.
I don't even really remember it.
But, and that pissed me off because I thought, why are you in this vocation if you don't care about what you're writing?
I understand people being dishonest, but there's a lot of different jobs you could do.
Anyway, I'm starting to like John.
He's starting to earn his keep.
No, that's none of him.
Yeah, he looks like Judd Appetow.
So he's definitely not any of these guys.
John Levine.
What were you spelling out?
John Levine.
J-O-N.
Yep.
And also in that article, but go back to that New York Post article.
I think he actually says eat the rich.
Go down.
Okay, we should treat gay people the same way we treat it.
Eating them when they get too rich.
Yeah, we should treat gay people the same way we treat straight people, eating them when they get too rich.
And then he has a great line.
He says, but if Mazda wants to start eating the rich, he may have to begin with his own family.
And then we scroll down and notice that his mother lives in a $10 million mansion.
Is that it there?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Realtor.com waterfront place in Boca.
$7.1 million mansion on the upper west side of Manhattan.
This is the guy who tormented Crowder for making fun of him and calling him gay, even though he calls himself gay wonk.
Whoa.
38 million.
So Levine says, go to 11.
Levine tweets out his pictures, pictures of these homes and says, this is the guy who says, eat the rich and gives shit to James Carville for having too much money.
This is the socialist.
Sorry, no, communist.
Do you have it there?
Yeah, that's just not loading.
1-1.
It took me forever to load it.
There we go.
Yeah.
Dear God, can we stop taking political advice from the ultra-wealthy?
Gay Wong.
Now, this got John Levine suspended.
I contacted him to ask him to come on the show because we're sort of the place you go when you get booted.
And he hasn't gotten back to me.
Oh, there's their Upper West Side condo.
Oh, look at their Upper West Side condo.
It has a fireplace on the roof in Manhattan.
Wow.
No, no, do more on that.
Go back up.
So this is the socialist.
This is the New York communist who is sick of the wealthy telling us what to do.
Web archive takes a while to load.
You should be prepared.
But I want to see those other.
Yeah, that's awesome.
So it's one of the most beautiful buildings in, I believe the most expensive city in America.
One of the most expensive cities in the world.
Look at that.
That's Carlos Maz's place.
Look at this fucking house.
Yeah, it's a beautiful restaurant.
This is a communist home.
This is someone who's totally okay with getting free money.
I wonder why.
That's like my buddy from Austin, Trace.
He's been getting free money since his dad died, and he's a fervent socialist.
Yeah, because you've been on welfare your whole life.
Mass is on welfare.
You know, I saw this.
This has been deleted from Twitter because Katie Hopkins is also banned.
John Levine is back, by the way, because he deleted the tweet that we just saw.
But Katie Hopkins is still banned.
And I'm remiss because this picture is of a video that I can't find anymore that is so awesome where the guy with the t-shirt, that's someone from UKIP in the middle.
Katie's obviously at the end.
And then that guy like this, he's...
He's giving her shit about the environment and what we have to do and how she doesn't care about the environment.
And she goes, I've noticed with a lot of you political activists that you tend to be quite wealthy.
And you're telling the working classes and the rest of us what to do and what to recycle and how to behave.
Yet you people seem to be able to do whatever you want.
And it just seems strange to me that you'd have the wealthy constantly telling the poor that they should live better lives, which is exactly what Carlos Maza does, right?
And he loses his temper.
And then at one point, the cameraman goes, what does it matter?
The cameraman's American, even though they're in London.
And he goes, what underwear do you wear?
What color is your underwear?
It doesn't matter.
Who gives a fuck?
And of course, he refused to say what school he's from.
That's a really great way to nail British people, by the way.
You ask them what school they went to because their big shame is being poor.
The American equivalent would be to ask them black stuff.
Like, what do black people put on their chicken when they order it from a bodega to go?
The answer, by the way, is salt, pepper, and ketchup.
These are questions Kamala Harris couldn't answer.
Not doing good on this reverse image, church.
Anyway, it's gone, but it was really funny because he just refused to answer.
They are all rich kids.
We're getting told what to do from rich kids are telling us what to do how to live.
Spoiled fucking brats.
Also in the news, this Nazi Hunter show has to be seen to be believed.
I was going to do a green screen of it, but I have another spoiled brat that I want to show you on the green screen.
But check out this episode.
So this is one three.
We've seen this in the trailer.
Did you go back to the very beginning?
Let me see it again.
Jesus, man, this is this is really something.
So she's, you saw this in the trailer.
She points at him and she goes, Nazi!
Now there are Nazis probably in America.
There's Nazis still alive.
How old do you have to be to be a Nazi?
Let's say you were 20 in 1943, right?
I think they just sent it so.
2020 minus 1943 equals 77.
So you'd have to be 97, basically, and you'd be one of the young bucks.
So this guy, I guess, is a 97-year-old.
He's a 100-year-old.
And he's lurking.
And not only do these old, decrepit, 100-year-old centenarian Nazis live among us, but they appear to be in their early 70s, which I mean, I guess he was a baby when he was a Nazi in World War II.
And they also have been killing people and murdering, and they need to be stopped.
And I love this show because it is a hilarious parody on how the far left operates and how they think.
It's genius.
It's really funny.
I don't think it's meant to be a comedy, although it's directed or what, produced by Kian Peele.
Or is it the same production company that Jordan Peale uses?
I could find that out.
I was pretty sure it was Jordan Peele.
Okay, so keep going with this.
And in my own gosh darn home, I think I'd like you to leave now.
Austin!
Nazi!
Stop him!
Stop him!
She's like 22?
Wait, bang, bang, bang.
I guess he killed the kids?
His three sons?
30 years.
Turn it up.
Wait, go back.
How many years of work?
30.
But so this takes place in the 70s?
Is that what it is?
Oh, okay, yes.
Okay, that's a stretch, but alright.
30 years of work.
Oh, that's why he's not too old.
Right.
I got you.
30 years of work that was.
My entire life.
So just pause.
Wait a minute.
So if this happened in the 70s, we missed all this.
Yeah.
Like they managed to live to the 90s.
So this is sort of like, hey, America, what were you doing sleeping on all these secret Nazis?
So have you noticed he has a German accent now?
So for 30 years, since 1943, he moved there.
Then he learned to speak Southern.
And he's been in disguise this whole time.
But for 30 years, he's known that there was a possibility that someone's going to notice him, especially because he doesn't have any beard or anything.
He looks like he always did.
So at all times, he just has a gun.
He has a gun nearby.
Ready.
Just in case this whole shit hits the fan.
And guns, by the way, are very hard to balance on motorcycle helmets.
So he's ready to shoot.
He's ready to shoot.
By the way, just pause again.
Sorry?
This happened to Faith Goldie at a bar in Toronto.
A woman reacted exactly like this.
And I've told you the story before, but I have to tell it again.
So the woman didn't even recognize her.
A man recognized her and said, that's a Nazi.
That's a racist.
And then the woman said, there's a racist here in this restaurant.
And then she collapsed and was having convulsions on the ground.
So that part of the show is not exaggerating.
American pig siring three tainted swine.
That he was killed, I guess.
How long I'd wanted to snap their little necks.
Okay, just pause.
So this guy has been a secret Nazi.
He hates Americans.
Thinks they're disgusting.
I don't think the Nazis did hate Americans, per se, until they started getting killed by them.
So he makes three kids and he hates them.
His whole life, he hates them.
Couldn't use escape somewhere else?
Well, Operation Paperclip, it might be based on Operation Paperclip.
And that was what, when the Nazis came and hid here?
Yeah, I think Joe Biggs mentioned that yesterday.
I was on a show and he was talking about this.
I think this based around Operation Paperclip.
Well, they did have that rocket engineer move here, but everyone knew he was a Nazi.
You know what I was told from an old person is after World War II, we weren't that disgusted by the Nazis because we didn't know about the Holocaust.
Oh, right.
And we just thought that was one of the teams that we were fighting and they lost.
And then the pictures and the documentation and started coming out and we started seeing the horrors and then we realized that they were monsters.
But America loved Hitler before the war and they didn't hate him that much in 1945.
Ah, they probably didn't.
You get what I'm saying?
1445, I guess.
Any chance I get.
God is on your hands, my girl.
He's got a point.
Leave it to the Jew to think only of its own pathetic existence.
You hast gedach, their clique is for pie.
Pretty impressive that he memorized this German.
That's the only thing I was thinking when I watched this scene, because it's so absurd.
It's not like you're worried about her or think of him as bad.
You're just like, this is...
I'm watching two cartoon animals.
Just pause.
Isn't it funny how she's meant to personify Jewish pride and she got a brutal nose job?
Is that what that is?
That is a weird.
Yeah.
Well, it's hard to keep the nostrils symmetrical because after you do the nose job, you keep growing.
Oh, those are way unsymmetrical.
Holy cow.
Yeah.
They're two different nostrils from two different people.
You didn't survive.
You marinated.
I'm so glad I didn't gas you in the camps.
This is so much more tenacious.
Gas you in the camps.
What are they, vampires?
This is trivializing the Holocaust.
Yeah, this is the.
Wait, wait, I don't understand that gas.
I haven't really watched the entire episode, to be honest.
I just love the clips.
But are they immortal?
Is that what's going on?
No, wait, which part did you get?
He said, I'm so happy I didn't get to gas you in the camps.
Yeah, because that way he could shoot her now.
Thank you, Ryan.
As if she marinated.
But if, what does she live?
Like, is she 50?
is she a hundred years old?
No, Oh, right.
So if she was in the camps and she was eight.
Yeah, something that, yeah.
Or maybe, you'd have to be like, 40, 50, 60.
So she's 40.
Looks great, by the way, for 40.
Yeah, that's.
you look fantastic.
But why would a Nazi recognize a 40-year-old from when she was 11?
Oh, yeah, good point.
Especially because she had a nose job.
I knew you diff with your other nose.
Right, a hungry boy.
Look at his red eyes.
hungry boys and girls we've all been I feel Seek hell!
Geesh.
That's a bit rich.
So you know what they're going for, right?
That's us.
I sent that to a liberal friend of mine.
I sent that clip and I go, this is what they think of us.
And he goes, who's they?
Jews?
They're almost as bad as alt-right dudes in that they see Jews in everything you say.
No, I meant like DNC, MSNBC, every college student there is, basically 50% of the country.
Sees us as secret Nazis.
There's a silencer sitting right here where we'll just shoot our three sons that are all like 15 years old.
Fucking.
I have no problem killing my kids.
17 tweets to read before you watch Hunters on Amazon Prime video.
What a ridiculous fucking mess.
1977.
Anyway, so that's funny.
Speaking of funny, briefly, the election is just going...
I saw a woman, 1-4, talk about how Trump's worried about ISIS.
He's radicalized way more people than ISIS.
And this kind of relates to the Nazi hunter thing, where they say he gave, he empowered white supremacists to come out of the shadows or something.
So now there's white supremacists everywhere, like at the barbecue with the silencer ready to kill you all.
And that comes from also from law enforcement saying that white supremacy, and this isn't just in America, Britain, Canada, they say white supremacy is a bigger threat to you than jihadism.
There's a weird smell going on in this studio right now.
It could be Gary.
Gary was in here and he just like smoke bombed the place.
We opened all the windows.
I'm getting a fan.
I'm going to go to fucking the hardware store, go past the Purell and the masks and buy a fan.
Because he sets foot in here and...
I don't know what it is.
Could be the feet stepping in P of some sort or whatever and then on the carpet.
You know, P doesn't really stepping.
Because where's the physical thing it could have lingered onto, you know?
I know.
Is it a helmet?
No, it can't be your helmet.
I think it might be my helmet, dude.
Oh, ew.
What, do you put it on?
Or you stink?
No, it's just like, you know.
Some sort of fiberglass.
You could probably powder that helmet.
Powder that helmet.
Yeah.
That's the new initiative.
But yeah, that's what happened.
Gary came in here, reeked up the place.
My helmet has this sort of synthetic metal fiberglass smell to it.
And it reeks of that.
Anywho's.
Yeah, check out 1-4.
I think, you know, this president, one of the things that he really launched his presidential run on is talking about Islamic radicalization.
And this president has radicalized so many more people than ISIS ever did.
She's talking about Dylan Roof and mass shooters, like the immigration guy who shot up El Paso.
Her argument would be that was Trump getting in his head.
And then Biden really helped Trump's chances of re-election just as much as bullshit PDS crap like that when he said, we can't win and we have to re-elect Trump.
It's like he says he has the opposite in his head and then he can't not say it out loud.
When this reelection, excuse me, we can only reelect Donald Trump.
Yes!
That was his correction.
Yeah.
Let's watch it 800 times.
Okay.
We cannot win this re-election.
Excuse me.
We can only re-elect Donald Trump.
We cannot win this re-election.
We can only re-elect Donald Trump.
And I also heard that he called himself Obama Joe Democrat or something.
Remember that?
No.
No, he called himself Obidenbama Democrat.
Obidenbama.
Yeah.
If he's such a great Democrat, why hasn't Elizabeth Warren or Barack Obama or Michelle Obama supported him?
What's this one now?
Turn this primary from a campaign that's about negative attacks into one about what we're for because we cannot get re-elect.
We cannot win this re-election.
Excuse me.
We can only re-elect Donald Trump.
I want to see how he recovered from that.
Ryan, that's what we just played.
Yeah, I thought this was going to be the one where he said, because everybody keeps saying this, he calls himself a lifelong now.
One of the reasons everyone hates Trump is because he's against immigration.
And I've often said that open borders is an act of war.
And this goes back to President Vincente Fox in Mexico was purposely sending illegals over the borders, emptying his prisons, dealing with his reprobates.
They're not sending their best, as Trump said.
And the Mexican government had a policy of sending vagrants, criminals, rapists up over the border.
Get them out of Mexico.
I don't want to deal with them.
We don't have room in our prisons.
Let's get them up there.
That, to me, and to most people, sane people, is an act of war.
If you don't believe me, check out what's going on in Greece right now, where the Turks, the Turkish government is sending over swarms of illegal refugees into Greece as an act of war.
Now, it gets even kookier.
You'd assume the European allies would come down and help them forfeit the, fortify, sorry, fortify the border, make it strong.
We're with you, Greece.
We love you.
We're all part of the European Union.
Remember the European Union, how dumb Britain was to leave because it's just so great to be in the European Union?
Well, Finland got woke and went broke, and they have this millennial feminist government of all chicks.
And what do chicks decide to do when it comes to a foreign invasion, an act of war?
They send border guards to go and help the migrants claim asylum.
Is there a bigger fuck you imaginable?
Like, what if Canada did that at the Mexican border?
We'd be in a war.
I mean, maybe that would start with trade embargoes, which would totally destroy Canada because 80% of Canada's economy is contingent on American business.
Maybe they wouldn't have to blow up the parliament buildings, but Jesus Lord, what a chronic fuck you that is to Greece.
Like, why wouldn't these women be happier at home?
Turkey arms migrants with tear gas, sends freed prisoners to border, claims Greek government.
Oh, claims Greek government.
I thought Turkey was also claiming the Greek government as their own.
Why not?
What an absolute fucking mess, huh?
All right.
Let's, speaking of spoiled brat bitches who have too much self-esteem and don't seem to understand how the real world works, I wanted to have a quick look at this particular episode of American Idol.
It might just look like a loony bitch to you, but, well, here.
Let's check it out.
Hello.
Still smells like Gary.
This is a woman on American Idol.
Now, I'm not going to play her whole song.
It's boring.
It's one of those many contestants who suck shit.
But after she's done, I think she provides a really good example of what feminism has done to women and what this sort of self-esteem culture has done to young people.
They all have a serious self-esteem problem, and that is too much.
So we'll start with the very end of her song, and you can get the idea of how terrible she is as a singer.
About you and me?
Can I ask you a question?
Do you think in your heart?
This is why we enjoyed that song Proud of Your Boy so much with the Proud Boys.
Because there's this sort of like, oh, it's just me.
Even the way she looks down at the end, like, this child's parents have loved her too much, given her way too much attention, and told her that she's special.
You're not special, bitch.
You suck and you're ugly.
Mark, really think you.
That's her hair.
No.
Okay, that's fair.
So why are you here?
Listen to me.
I'm not a singer.
Oh.
Oh, just pause.
Can you imagine, now I'm 49.
I'm a Generation X. I could not imagine going to a skateboard competition right now and going click, click, click, click, push, push, click, click, and then saying, I'm not a skater, but I still think I should win this competition.
You'd be, is this just a mental patient?
You tell me when you're watching this, if this is indicative of a pattern or we're just looking at a mental patient.
You're standing there shaking your head the entire time and melting.
You are, Paula, you're looking at him and you're laughing at me.
No, I'm laughing with you.
So you came because you wanted to be on TV.
By the way, everyone thinks Paula Abdul is black.
She's a Jewish.
Canadian Jewish chick with a bunch of nose jobs who's still hot.
I think she's about 10 years older than me.
Still hot.
He's not hot.
And she's pretty hot.
No?
Okay, tangent.
Sorry.
You were laughing.
No.
Why are you here?
Why are you here?
I, and now I'm going to get all emotional.
Pause.
Did you see that?
Now I'm going to get all emotional.
Like, we're laughing with her.
Like, we give a fuck whether she lives or dies.
She's giggling at the fact that she's going to cry like we give a flying fuck about her.
And now I'm going to get all emotional.
That's how you talk to your boyfriend on your first date.
You know, I really love to say.
I really do.
And my friends make fun of me all the time because I'm tone deaf.
But shut up.
It's true.
I don't need to hear you say it.
I know.
Okay.
See, that makes me think maybe I'm just sitting here laughing at a mental patient.
You don't need to show.
I hear.
Even if I don't sing, I can be the next American Idol.
Why?
And you want to know why?
Yeah, I love it to know why.
You want to know why?
Yeah.
Because I've never sung before.
And so you can teach me how to sing.
Huh?
Yes.
I think I practice.
I practice with like music.
I can't believe I've cried.
I think you don't have to sing to be an American Idol.
I really don't.
You don't have to sing to be the winner of a singing contest.
And since when do judges have time to teach?
That's like going to court and saying to the judge, yes, I'm violent.
Yes, I stab people.
But you can show me how to be better.
I don't need to go to jail.
I can't believe I'm crying this much.
I need you to show me how to not be a murderer.
Help me stop stabbing, Your Honor.
I think Paris Hilton can't really sing.
I think that.
He's not an American idol.
I'm actually aware of that.
I know that you don't realize it, but I am a little bit smart here.
Did you see that?
You see that?
That's a mommy Telling you, you're wonderful and you're a super angel, and you're a gift from God.
Moms, stop flattering your daughters so much.
There's something going on here.
I see this.
If you see a high school brawl these days, it's 50% female.
Women brawling, getting in there, fighting, pulling guys off.
When I was a kid, you'd never see a girl in a fight ever.
There was this whole hair-pulling thing.
No, they might like scratch each other or throw someone's lunch in the garbage or something if they totally lost their shit.
But fighting was for boys.
And we'd meet at four o'clock in the abandoned baseball diamond across from the school.
But this like women can be the singers of singing contests when they can't sing.
They can beat the shit out of a mob of fucking angry teens.
They can go to that park in Harlem where there's a stabbing a day and start asking black kids if they have weed.
And when they go to robbers, say, fuck that and fight them and get stabbed to death.
It's very dangerous, this self-esteem, is my point.
I'm actually doing a public service announcement when I say, stop telling your daughters they're wonderful.
Look at these people behind you.
Just turn around.
See these five winners?
They had one thing in common.
They were all great singers.
This is a singing competition.
It's not a competition of like a little off-topic.
That woman will probably be the best lay you've ever had in your life.
Like eight orgasms per sesh.
She's twisted.
Competition of like trying to find the best person that can't sing but really wants to.
You know what, Raymd?
Yes, these people can sing.
Yeah.
Yes, they can.
But I could be the only American idol who has never sang before.
Hey, I can't sing either.
Sarah, I don't think there's anything left to say.
I think you actually said it all.
You entered a singing competition and you don't sing.
So what do you think we're going to say?
We have to move.
We have to move on.
Carol, yes or no?
Well, no.
Paula, yes or no?
Sorry for that.
It's a no.
Sorry.
Wouldn't that be funny if Coca-Cola wasn't paying for that?
They just really enjoyed Coke.
You're upset.
And you guys are going to regret this.
So you got what you wanted.
You got some fame out of it.
That's not what I wanted.
Are you kidding?
I wanted to be the next American item.
Thanks, Carol.
But alas.
Wait, wait, what's with the cowboy hat?
No, it's not the beginning.
Oh, wait, wait, go back, go back, go back.
I think she stole a glance at herself.
Remember, was I with you once?
We were at that bar near the compound studio, and the waiter was asking us what we wanted to order, but we're right by a big mirror, and I could see him checking himself out as he took our order.
And I was like, dude, do you think you're, are you in love with yourself?
Stop looking at yourself in the mirror.
He's like, I'm not, I'm not.
And then he would check again and again.
Anyway, I think she grabs a little glance at herself.
Mama, it's not the end, it's just the beginning.
No, it's not the beginning.
Yeah, you see?
No, it's not the.
Yeah, it really isn't the beginning.
Mama, it's not the end.
It's just the beginning.
No, it's not the beginning.
That's pretty obvious.
Well, at least she's not harboring any resentment towards the judges.
It's absolutely rude.
Like, you are people.
We are people too.
Just because we don't have a...
We are people.
Like, trans rights are human rights.
Big girls are people too.
You want us not to exist.
We are people.
And every time there's these stupid town halls or something, their case seems to be, we're human beings.
We're people, just like you.
We go, yeah, you're a victim of your own rhetoric.
You're the one who said they see us as human garbage, and now you're sitting there saying, we're not human garbage.
Yeah, I know, dumbass.
A million dollars if we don't have singing deals doesn't mean that we don't have lives and doesn't mean that we don't have important things in our lives.
New York is weird today.
It's a weird day today.
I've become friends with these guys.
I've become friends with Ray and Jen and Bill the security guy because I have been here forever.
And you know what?
They told me that these people went out last night drinking in New York City until 3 o'clock in the morning.
And that is rude.
Isn't that awesome?
This is indicative of a pattern.
This is indicative of megalomania.
All these women who do me search for their books, especially black feminists, whenever you see their book, it's always like one girl's story of the south side of Chicago and how she overcame her obstacles and became a somebody, a human, a person just like you.
And then the other factor we're seeing with this, and this is prevalent in journalism, like Amanda Carpenter right now is working hard to get Michelle Malkin canceled.
She is contacting everywhere that she has a speaking talk booked.
She's contacting the people that syndicate her column, Creator's Syndicate, I think they're called.
And Amanda Carpenter is trying to shut Michelle Malkin down.
She's a tattletale.
Journalists are tattletales now.
When Ezra Levant took a picture of Tommy Robinson in the courthouse, all of the stenographers, all of the journalists were pushing for him to be found in contempt of court.
They were ratting him out to the authorities.
One journalist ratting another journalist out.
And this bitch is ratting out these judges for going out till 3 in the morning.
When did they start?
11 a.m.?
Big fucking deal.
They stayed out till 3 in the morning.
They got plenty of caffeine in front of them.
That is rude.
That is rude.
They don't even support her.
We have a problem here in this country, and it is perpetual adolescence.
We need to teach young people to grow the fuck up because this is getting embarrassing.
We need to teach young people to grow the fuck up because this is getting embarrassing.
Dance boogie.
What would you say that girl is?
Who?
Oh, the crazy one?
She's like a 7-point-something.
with the crazy and 8.9.
You're thinking the sex, and you're making her rating way too high.
No, me and her.
Take the sex away.
We haven't even got on a date.
This is me just looking at her.
That big ratty nest, that cowboy hat.
Yeah, that's crazy here.
She's a 6.8.
That's fair.
But I've discovered some smoke shows over the weekend.
And I don't know how ladies feel when we do this part of the show, when we talk about hotties.
I think they would like that, right?
Because they look at magazines like Vogue and Vanity Fair.
They love to look at pretty girls and see what we think is pretty.
Coronavirus.
Andy Adler, I saw in a bar on the TV, and she's a sports commentator lady.
Check her out in any of these videos.
First of all, Dwight, thank you for coming in studio.
Doesn't she look like Jennifer Jason Lee from Fast Times of Ridgemont High?
You do a great job.
I like watching that.
And I love how she's...
I can't tell if she has big boobs or not.
You definitely left your mark on me.
Yes.
And when it comes to the Yankees and the Mets, I'm going to be a little bit more like her right now.
A little bit.
She's better looking than Jennifer Jason Lee.
But I never liked that Jennifer Jason Lee.
Really?
Yeah.
Her cheeks weird me up.
This week.
So you don't like her?
21 runs.
You don't like Andy?
I'm not thrilled.
Really?
Yeah.
She's going to age.
Like, I think as a married man, when I see women now, I think of a wife.
Like, how will she age?
Oh, I see.
She's going to look great at 70.
Look at other pictures of her.
That guy's suit stinks.
Stupid Paisley Ty.
What are you on?
Welfare?
That suit looks like a bag of bananas.
Let's see more stuff from her.
Just Google image her.
This is Jennifer Jason Lee.
Oh, let me see Jennifer Jason Lee.
JJL.
Now, the problem with Jennifer Jason Lee in fast times is she's up against Phoebe Cates, who is obviously a 9.8.
So we didn't notice her.
But guys like me, feminists, we noticed that, and we actually often prefer the number two.
Like Bailey in WKRP in Cincinnati.
We didn't want Lonnie Anderson.
We wanted Bailey.
Here we thought, yeah, you can have Phoebe Cates.
Too much of a headache.
We'll take Jennifer Jason Lee, and we won't get her pregnant.
Let me see another Andy Adler.
What do you think, folks at home?
Ryan's totally unreliable.
He always gives Asians a low score.
He likes fat, ugly girls.
This is just an incredibly high-quality female.
Doesn't she look like she'd be fun to go on vacation with?
Yeah.
Look at that smile.
Like barbecue, like.
Yeah.
And I feel like that.
There's a weird thing with us men when we watch newscasters, even when they're fives, we are madly in love with them, like that Liz Choi who looks like a weird alien.
But you're just, I don't know, when you see a woman like that, you think she's going to have all these picnics organized with the kids and everything's going to be handled and she's going to be real.
I might have her name wrong.
But I found what might be the most beautiful woman in the entire world.
You ready for this?
I think this might be a 10.
And you'll probably hear me say that word 10 once the entire time we know each other.
But if there ever was a 10, I think Poodie Pie's wife, Maria Killeberg, is it?
She's Italian.
I think she's from northern Italy.
What's that sound?
Let's see what her story is.
Midsummer vibes.
Okay, so her hair is beautiful.
She likes beautiful things.
She has a daily planner.
She looks at sparkles.
Just look at pictures of her.
But see if you can get a better look at her face.
So she's very stylish, slim build.
These little turns in her lips.
She's dyed her hair blonde now, although that might be a recent.
How old is that picture?
A week ago?
January 28th.
So I don't know if she's blonde or not now.
I wish she would go back to her natural Italian brown.
But look at the quality here.
Look at this.
Look at that.
What do you say, Ryan?
What's that?
A five to you, you fucking retard?
No, that's eight-ish.
Eight-ish?
What?
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
Close to nine.
Maybe a high eight.
What?
What's the problem, dare I ask?
There is no problem.
I just haven't seen enough.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
That one.
Look at that.
Look at those dark eyes.
That perfectly sculpted jaw.
That is gorgeous.
Wait, there's other pictures in this picture.
Oh, those suck.
She's incredible.
Look at that.
She looks like a drawing.
She looks like a filter.
Look at that.
Look at that.
That's absurd.
Unbelievable.
Look at that.
Look at that thing right there.
I mean, if she had a penis, I think we could negotiate something.
I'll tell you what, if we were married and she started magically growing one, that's no problem.
Right.
So she quit YouTube and social media outside of this Instagram, I guess.
She used to be a YouTuber, but she stopped when she got married, which I think is the right thing to do.
I don't think you want guys ogling your woman, although I guess she shouldn't be on Instagram, huh?
Could you give her a fair rating if you never saw her body?
Uh, no.
She could be a huge fat pig.
Like if she wears Billie Eilish clothes.
You'd never know.
I like Billie Eilish clothes.
I like that a little girl doesn't have to be a fucking whore.
Like Eliza.
What's her name?
Eliza Grande?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
What's her name?
Ariana Grande.
Ariana Grande.
Look, never heals.
Okay, look at that one in the middle there.
It's a very beautiful young lady.
That is a 10.
We found our 10, ladies.
And Pootie Pie's kind of a 10, too, isn't he?
He's a good-looking chap.
All right, that's it for the news.
I think it's time to drift on to the mail bag.
Right, shut up, you don't have a ten.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag Let me touch it Should I be jealous that Tommy went to Infowars?
Is Infowars our competition now?
I don't know.
If it doesn't hurt off the boot, I think it's good.
Or neutral.
My person.
Now, some of these I haven't, actually, most of these I haven't read.
Jeez, Louise.
It's been so long since we did this.
We have a million.
At censored or free?
Both.
Oh, poop.
Well, which one do you look at?
By the way, we missed a great story.
Luckily, Milo covered it, where some dumb bitch, affirmative action hire at the Washington Post said, wait a minute.
Bloomberg spent $500 million on his campaign.
There's 327 million people in America.
He could have given everyone a million dollars.
Now, that works if there's 327 people in America.
But million people?
Million times a million is a trillion, you dumb bitch.
You affirmative action hire.
That was Brian Williams.
No.
And Macy Gay.
Yeah.
No, they were reacting to the money.
Actually, with the money he spent, he could have given every American a million dollars.
Got it.
Let's put it up on the screen.
When I read it tonight on Mikita Rivas, I'm talking about.
Who, by the way, is a fucking smoke show.
$200 million on ads.
Look her up.
You have a population of 327 million.
Don't tell us if you're ahead of us on the math.
He could have given each American...
So wait a minute.
Just one million.
I'm sorry.
I'm talking about something that I wasn't going to talk about because Mila said he covered it.
But that tweet made it to the production department, to the editors, to the PA, to the line producers, everyone remotely involved in that news show.
That tweet made it to them, made it to her, the editor of the New York Times, one of the editors of the New York Times, and then made it to Brian Williams, who read it out.
And said that's startling.
That's what freaks me out.
Like an affirmative action hire saying a dumb tweet.
But when it gets wind, that's what freaks me out.
It reminds me of this song, a drum and bass song.
Maybe it was still called Jungle back then in the mid-90s.
And it was like, respect your heritage.
Afrikan people, you need your heritage.
Living in a Babylon, you better remember it.
And then the music kind of slows down and she talks in the middle of the song and she goes, your heritage, it's detrimental that you remember it.
Now, calling your, saying it's dead, she meant crucial.
But hearing a fuck-up like that is one thing.
It's some stupid bitch rapping.
But for that to go through the editors and the sound guys and the label people, they all let that go.
That's the part I don't get.
Now, there's 330 million people in America.
To give them all a million dollars, it would obviously be much more than 500 million.
It would be $331 trillion.
I mean, just, this is what I don't get about the big picture brain.
Can you imagine a country where every single, a huge country, one of the biggest countries in the world, probably the third largest country when you look at land mass, and they all have a million dollars?
That's a hell of a fucking country.
Not only is nobody poor, everyone is loaded with just one billionaire paying one 120th of what he owns.
So according to you, one billionaire cannot even dent his savings and everyone in the country is a millionaire.
That doesn't sound weird to you.
There's $1.7 trillion in all of America right now.
Total, total, totally, total.
There's about $5 trillion in the whole world.
Total, total, total, total.
As far as I feel like I'm a toad.
Total.
Bills.
If you were to kidnap the world from another planet, you could ask for $5 trillion and get it back.
But then, of course, the world would have no money.
Anyway, that's how long it's been since we were last here.
Sounds true.
Sometimes I regret just reading the letters as they arrive.
What do you think I should do?
I put blue flags on the winners.
Why don't I just read some blue flags?
So as not to waste everyone's time.
But that means we'll remain behind.
Okay, this is from Eric.
The subject heading is Nashville Hairstylist.
Instagram, Andy does your hair.
Look at this motherfucker mutilating the sex appeal of 3.9s to 6.3s and getting paid to do it.
Instagram bio says it's queer meets punk.
Look, I know it's Tennessee and they're basically haircuts given by a Newport chain smoking trailer park granny, but come on.
Also, has Gavin fucked any punk rock chicks back in the day with this quirky hairdo?
Or have you sucked off any hillbilly tweakers rocking this cut, Ryrai?
I'd like to fuck you with my heels on.
Peace.
How can you not have pulled this up yet?
You are the slowest fucking sidekick.
I read the entire letter.
How's he doing, folks?
Bad news for you, Eric.
Might be my background.
I think this guy improved a lot of chicks.
Here, go back.
Before I say that, go back to the thumbnail.
No, the thumbnail, like the grid.
Okay, scroll down.
Scroll down.
I like the Joan Jet thing.
Look at that one right above my head right now.
Click on that one.
Her forehead's way too big.
She desperately needed bangs.
She looks fantastic.
Like it's a Joan Jet elf thing.
Look at that one right there in the middle.
That's a massive improvement, is it not?
So sorry, reader.
I don't agree with you.
This is when I was complaining about my Wikipedia page last week.
This subject is your Wikipedia page.
It's from Jordan.
Gavin, there's an alternative to Wikipedia called Infogalactic.
It's founded by Vox Day.
I checked you out on there and you seem pretty reasonable.
I will continue to support both.
I'm too computer retarded.
Oh, yeah, there's a thing where you can make sure your search goes to Infogalactic instead of Wikipedia, but I don't know how to set it up.
That's nice.
And it doesn't really help me.
Like all my neighbors, people I work with, they check Wikipedia.
Perfect 10 at Trump Rally.
Guys, if you pause this video at 30 seconds in, you'll see that smoke show Tattooed Chick.
Yes, we have since discovered her.
Right?
Did we go to her?
Yeah, Zeidra.
Yeah, we went to her Instagram on the other show.
Correct?
With all the opposition that he's got?
What are you doing, right?
That's the link that he sent.
Yeah, but it's 13 seconds in.
Ah, fuck.
All right.
This one...
Oh, that's...
Any more blue flags?
The evolution of Gavin's wiki page.
This is a guy talking about April 9th, 2017.
Seems to be the last time Gavin's page was most sane and objective.
After that, the first paragraph of his bio begins using buzzwords like far-right, neo-fascist, and hate speech.
In terms of who is editing your page, you may want to look at the view history.
There is one years alone who contributes to 22% of your page's edits.
He goes by the name Beyond My Ken.
Do you ken in Scotland means do you know?
Maybe this is beyond my knowing?
Anyway, that's boring.
But thank you for looking into that.
This is from Sam.
I tried to edit your Wikipedia page a long time ago and got banned.
Roger Stone has microphally.
This is from Mark.
Hey, Gavin Rye, the internet is telling me that Roger Stone has microphalle.
How can this be true?
People with microphallia are retarded.
Microcephaly.
Sorry.
What is it?
You can't find that one?
No, I found it, but what is...
Oh.
Yes, he does not have a perfectly shaped skull.
Let's fucking throw him in jail.
He does not have microcephaly.
No, no, no.
These are drastically different.
It's a dumb insult.
After so long, the shit stains have a...
After so long, the Shitstains have a sore spot.
One of their own gets slightly joked about in a sexual way.
I wonder if Tommy's daughter will be seen as a human being if you bring up the horrendous nightmare Sheen Robinson family going through right now.
a shitty sticker that may or may not physically exist.
They're talking about the Greta Thunberg sticker where some guy's holding on to Where some guy's holding onto her braids and fucking her.
Yeah.
I don't like what they did with the back of the hair there, the way there's that lump.
It should have been more symmetrical, don't you think?
Yeah, what is that?
Anyway, that's supposed to piss you off, and that's the left finally mad about children being sexualized.
He wants to ride on my ding-dong, etc.
Oh, here's the girl who, remember she had the kid who was looking at the picture and that he was crying?
Yeah, the dad being gone?
Yeah.
And I, as a corrections officer in my home, my wife gets all the hugs.
She gets the snuggles.
And snuggles cloud you.
They cloud your judgment.
I don't get snuggles.
No one runs up to me and goes, daddy, I can't wait to hug you.
If I've been away from work, I mean, I've been away on a business trip for five days, they'll hug me when I get back.
But there's not constant daily snuggles.
And that keeps me sharp.
And I noticed when I saw that video, that kid crying, there was no actual tears.
When kids cry, they cry a lot.
A lot of juice comes down.
This kid had none.
Anyway, Stephanie writes back.
By the way, this is the I'm a Rape Dream Survivor because of you.
I've since forgotten that context.
Anyway, regarding my son manipulating me in that video, it honestly never occurred to me.
Gavin was completely right.
I should have put it together.
He is the king of playing me.
All our kids are kind of spoiled.
Oliver, the boy in that video, is the baby, and he had a bad accident in 10, 2018.
He fell over a second story window.
And I've been a bit too catering ever since.
Yeah.
He doesn't remember the fall, my dear Steph.
All right, we got a few in a row here.
G and R, that's our new name.
Came across this FB page as a Trevor Trove of Soy, Feminazis, Balls, and General Cuckery.
You could most likely do an entire screen segment on this fucking insane bullshit posted by delusional morons and, as you say, shit chests.
This is, by the way, Kill the Patriarchy from Larry.
I like to fuck you in your new sunglasses with my heels on more than a friend.
Now, unfortunately, when I click on that Facebook link, it tells me no.
Oh, I'm allowed to look at this one.
Women fill the streets of the world cities and call for justice.
What justice?
Aren't you?
Oh, you're kicked out of Facebook too.
Guys, don't be mean to us and send us Facebook links.
We can't abide.
We can't see them.
Meet the glamour.com.
Meet the 97-year-old park ranger who doesn't have time for foolishness.
What the fuck is a 97-year-old woman going to do to me if I'm committing a crime?
I'll just throw her across the street.
All right, here's the last one.
G-Dog and Rye Guy, your bit on animals this week was funny, but brings to mind a problem I've noticed in the conservative community.
People on the right are generally very rational, but seem to lack curiosity for the natural world, while leftists are very active in the scientific community, but sometimes go so far as to hijack science for political gain.
Climate change is a great example of this.
Conservatives choose to deny human-caused warming despite mountains of solid evidence, and liberals preach that the end of times are coming in the next 12 years because of extreme weather and rapid sea level rise, even though they have no actual scientific data to support this.
You know our Greta Thunberg, that chick, she's like 17 and she has weird eyes.
she looks like a preemie, kind of like a runt of the litter.
She's cool, and I'm sorry I'm making fun of a child's eyes, but it's just very distracting.
Anyway, she was on with Piers Morgan recently, and he said, Do you deny that man is heating up the earth and it's being done to catastrophic levels?
And she says, no.
And then he says, but it's a scientific fact thousands of scientists agree on.
And she goes, well, first of all, yeah, I do agree that humans are warming the planet.
And he said, you just said they weren't.
She goes, no, I didn't.
He goes, yeah, you did.
See what he did there?
Do you think that human beings are warming the planet?
To a dangerous degree.
Human beings are warming the planet to an irrelevant degree.
And if it was a relevant degree, we would be way down the list on people who have to get to work.
China would be at the top of the list.
So would Russia.
So would fucking Africa.
Doesn't she look weird?
She's Asian.
And I've got very good news for you.
The world is not ending because of climate change.
In fact, 12 years from now, we will still be around casually taking so we don't deny human-caused warming.
We just don't think it's a big deal.
It seems to me that the animals are losers bit echoes this problem.
I'm sure you realize that not only are humans animals, thanks, but we rely on other animals and their ecosystems for our survival.
Yeah.
Well, we rely on trees for our survival, and I don't sit there going, oh, cute, a tree.
I don't have a tree reserve like Howard Stern's wife.
What's it called?
Longshore Animal League or whatever?
North Shore Animal League.
I don't have North Shore Tree League.
Humans came into existence by the same process of evolution, natural selection, as every other animal, and are winners because we fostered a sense of curiosity.
So other animals could have fostered a sense of curiosity and they'd be doing just as well?
No.
All animals are curious.
All animals are losers.
We have a consciousness.
We're better.
We were built in God's image.
We're not near the pack.
We didn't slightly stray from the pack.
We are miles and miles above the pack.
I'm a speciesist.
Crazy Dinash thinks he's a toad.
And we use the knowledge we gain to invent things and beat our environment.
Yeah, he acts like it's a coincidence.
Like birds developed wings and we developed a consciousness, but it could have been reversed.
If you prefer faith over reason and choose to believe what you hope is an accurate translation of what an anonymous ancient scribe wrote in the shithole Middle East thousands of years ago, that's cool with me.
I think it's possible this person is an atheist.
Maybe?
Mother Nature's hella pissed.
By the way, the Bible was a collection of stories that had been told for centuries, and they amalgamated them into this book.
Now, those stories said things like, don't murder someone, don't fuck your brother.
The reason that those stories lasted so well is they were ingrained in us from the big guy up top.
So the stories are just, the Bible could be called lessons we've learned.
And we have lessons we've learned because we were built with this intrinsic trial and error checks and balances thing, where not only do we learn that when you murder someone, you have nightmares and you're not part of society, or when you fuck your sibling, you make a retard, but we're also able to tell each other that.
No other animal can do that, which is called a meme.
Memes actually go back to the beginning of man, and it means the ability to tell a story.
Not genes, memes.
We win because of memes.
And now memes means something different, but.
Speak in.
But do you think it's possible that the conservative community could use more skeptics and people focused on science and empirical evidence?
Thanks, guys.
I just want to fuck with my heels on.
That's an interesting letter.
And you've totally ignored the fact that Ducks Unlimited and all these hunters and all these rednecks and Duck Dynasty and all these stupid MAGA supporters know more about the environment and are more closely linked to nature than any group.
So yeah, maybe some fancy pants academics at National Review don't know as much about nature as a hippie tree planter, but no one knows more about nature than hunters.
So that's a major flaw in your argument.
MAGA guys are much closely bonded with nature than anyone else in the world.
And I brought that up when I went to Florida when the guy who I rented the boat from said, yeah, we call them crows, but it's really a crackle.
And the reason it's on the edge of the boat there is because it gets the bugs and stuff that get caught in the front.
He uses that for food.
He also told me about the alligators and the young and how long they're left there and how they develop and they're 27 million years old, whereas crocodiles are 300 million years old.
Like they know all this shit because they're tied to the environment.
All right, let's power through these.
We'll do two more.
Gavin, does Ryan think AIDS is plural?
Do you think that, Ryan?
Nope.
It's an acronym.
Autoimmune deficiency syndrome or some shit.
Hey, fucksticks.
The hot chick behind the Trump is Alex Zeidra.
Very hot.
Also married, engaged.
I know the hubby, San Antonio, Texas.
We know.
Lucky bastard.
Also, did you see my Fuck You With Mails on T-Design?
Yeah, it sucks.
Okay, let's wrap it up.
Look at some funny videos and get the fuck out of here.
This cesspool that has now been homelessly crop-dusted.
Yeah.
No, I think Gary Smell is gone.
Now it's psychosomatic.
But it was gross.
It was a little cross.
But we love him.
Great guy.
Let's do three.
So let's start with 2-5.
No, no, no.
We'll do two.
Let's do 2-6.
2-6.
You know, in Quebec, they can't pronounce air.
They can't pronounce H's, right?
So they call this your air.
And then they get confused with words that start with A, like aardvark, they called hardvark.
Because they think, oh, you're not supposed to say A, right?
So they always get them backwards.
And we used to joke around at Quebec, we'd say, I love the way that your air moves around in the hair.
This guy does a similar thing.
He's mad at this Uber driver for idling.
This is a good segue from the environmentalism thing, too.
These guys don't get basic math.
So when a car is idling, it's not stinking up the environment and burning all this extra oil.
It's a totally irrelevant moment in environmental history.
But I've seen Uber guys get yelled at by guys on bikes who also think they're saving the world by riding their bicycle to work because they're using literally a drop less gas than the guy driving to work.
Thanks.
Thanks so much for saving the environment.
And by the way, are you cool with us using the pipeline here and fracking?
Because that's bringing us all kinds of gas, but you seem to not want it to happen.
So you're not looking for more oil.
You're looking for more bossing around.
And like in my neighborhood in the suburbs, they don't put the leaves in bags because it's bad for the environment.
But the illegals come in with their air fucking leaf blowers and blow shit all over the leaves all over the place into piles that then blow away later because it's better for the environment.
And you walk by these homes and it reeks of gas.
Worse than Gary.
So there's no logic to this.
You want logic?
Talk to hunters.
Anyway, let's see this little clip.
Stupid fuck burning oil.
You are aware of it.
Saul bitch.
Wow.
He said, you're ruining the heir, AIR, for our future heirs, H-E-I-R-S.
Future heirs.
Saul bitch.
Or AIRS.
Saw a bitch.
You are right.
Did you say that?
Oh, dude, you're a piece of civil dude.
Did he say nigger?
I think so.
Whoa.
Oh, dude, you're a piece of civil dude.
Oh, yeah, he did.
Wax.
Did you say that?
He's got a Philson briefcase, by the way, on his back.
Those are $350.
Yeah.
Do what you gotta do, man.
Fuck this dude.
Shithead.
Those wax canvas ones.
He said, do what you have to do, man, meaning careen into him, but the guy can't because he's illegal.
Do what you gotta do, man.
Fuck this dude.
And check out 2-7.
This is a gift that keeps on giving.
2-7?
Yep.
Some guy swiped.
Well, it's obviously going to be the one after the one we just showed.
Not necessarily.
There's four videos.
Some guy swiped his car and he's made him stop and wait for the polizia.
And then he decides, fuck you.
I'm not waiting for the police.
I'm an illegal.
You can't catch me.
Ooh, Mercedes SUV G-Wagon.
Those are $150,000.
Oh, a Toyota Tercel.
The police come, if they go, they're going to get them arrested.
What do you say?
The police will be on 6 Segon.
Yeah, I'm not waiting for your fucking cops, dude.
I'm not an idiot.
Peace out, loser.
Bye.
Look at this.
Look at this.
This is how African Americans handle it.
He called him a fag.
You fucking fag.
And then, look, the driver gets out.
Dumbass.
No, he also says fag, I believe.
Look, the driver gets out.
Oh, you're right.
Never suspect.
Yeah, so all right.
Well, let's end this with a beautiful ending, which is 2-8.
Some guy who doesn't have adrenaline control and is quickly punished for it.
I'm going to scare you, bitch.
Oh, my God.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
I'm going insane.
The hurricane for the center.
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