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Feb. 28, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
39:52
GOML LIVE #36 | BANNED FROM CPAC | THE STORY

This is a special ep where Gavin updates everyone on the past two days at CPAC. Getting kicked out, confronting lefty journalists, covering Jacob Wohl's latest bombshell and more.

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Hi, welcome to a special edition of Get Off My Lawn, shot from our crappy hotel not far from CPAC.
We decided to come here at the last second to DC, and that means the worst hotel ever.
I also got Rogan on my shirt.
Oh, shit.
Oh, that spit.
I was wondering why it was...
Maybe the enzymes in my saliva will help break down whatever the hell Rogaine is?
It's probably got an oil in it, right?
Perhaps.
This is all extraneous.
So I think we could just do this episode based on just telling people what's happened the past couple days, right?
But before we do, I highly recommend you check out Johnny Appleseed, Johnny Apple CBD, J-A-C-B-D.com.
What do they have, Ryan?
They have edibles.
They have topicals for your sore muscles.
The edibles are great for sleeping.
It makes your dreams sweet as can be.
You just drift off.
Shhh.
It's okay.
Shh.
By the way, since I quit taking that testosterone booster, I don't have nightmares anymore.
So that's a good thing.
I'm still bald.
But my brother texted me today.
He goes, dude, I saw the back of your head on your show, and I involuntarily said, oh no.
While I was at work, people were turning around.
What's going on?
So the edibles are great for sleeping.
The tincture is great for taking the edge off caffeine, I find.
And the topicals are great for when you work out and you have sore muscles, especially when you do a leg day and you're walking up and down stairs like George Burns.
Or Robert De Niro and the Irishman with his little T-Rex arms.
Uh-oh, cops.
I wouldn't be surprised.
We're in the hood right now.
We're one of the few non-African American people in this, I'd call it a motel that we're in.
They blare rap music in the lobby.
They are watching Wendy Williams.
Marijuana.
This hallway smells strongly of marijuana.
And as a lover of true African-American culture, unlike the heroes of color, like Jordan Peel and these other guys, I feel thoroughly at home here.
I'm like, woila!
Let me do the handshake.
Anyway, if you go to jacbd.com and you use the promo code gavin, you can also go jacbd.com slash gavin.
And that will give you, I believe, 20% off.
Does that sound right?
Yes, 20% off.
Don't bump into the ironing board.
That's what the camera's propped up on right now.
In case you haven't noticed, I'm cheap.
I drove down here to save money because the trains was like 400 bucks and gas is 40 bucks.
All right, so let's get you up to date now that we've promoted jacbd.com.
Again, cookies, tincture, ointments, topical.
Basically everything you would ever need from the plant hemp, the beauty of hemp without the getting high part.
And if you want to get high, you should come to my hotel and just walk up and down the hallway going, and you'll be baked in about 30 seconds.
I said to the guy who helped set this up, can you not book hotels from unbelievablydepressing.com anymore?
Because this sucks.
The good news is the parking is easy because no one wants to be here.
Any hustle.
So what do we do?
We go to CPAC yesterday.
What does CPAC even mean?
What does PAC stand for?
Conservative, progressive American company, conference.
Yeah?
Look it up.
Oh, I'm using your phone?
Oh, I'll look it up.
So we get in Friday.
We wait in this huge lineup.
And I just, right out of the gate, I'm doing selfies.
And it's always the exact same thing they say.
They go, hey, Gavin.
Oh, my God.
Millennials, Zoomers, and they go, I'm a big fan, big fan.
Wow, I've been watching your videos for like two years, three years, which is mean because I've been doing them for 10 years.
So, okay, so you're new to the game.
And then they go, can I get a selfie with you?
All right.
What are you doing with this selfie?
Why do you want a selfie with me?
But they take it.
Sometimes they're so nervous, their hands are shaking.
I'm not bragging.
But their hands are so it fucks up the picture.
So they have to get someone else to take it.
Sometimes they put their arm around me.
I feel their arms shaking.
And I must have done 150 selfies on Friday.
One guy plucks us out of the lineup and he goes, hey man, I got a booth here.
I'll take you in.
What was his name?
Zippy Yippie?
He has some.
Zippy.
So he's like a Warvet.
guy but he takes us out of the line was winding It was like an hour wait.
And I couldn't get in with my media pass because they denied my media pass.
By the way.
Ivan.
Ivan.
They gave Media Pass to any YouTuber.
Ilhad, what's his name?
Ilhad knows nothing.
Elad?
What's his thing called?
Barely Informed.
Barely Informed gets in, which I love Barely Informed.
They should get in.
They're awesome.
But it's just a YouTube channel.
Right Wing Watch is in, no problem.
MediaIte is in, no problem.
And then some dude from like the Montgomery Register, like small town, left-wing, basically Antifa sympathizers, they're allowed in, no problem.
Jacob Wall can't even go in as a guest.
Enrique Tari of the Proud Boys, no.
You can't even pay $300 to go in.
And then media bans include censorship.tv.
We were not allowed to go in.
What are you doing now?
So the guy takes me to the front of the line, and then she goes, what are you doing?
And he goes, I have a booth here.
And she goes, so?
You have to go to the end of the line.
So he goes, oh, you guys got to.
And then he sort of just says, let's just go in here.
And then we butt in line, which I guess if I had more character, I'd say I'm not doing that.
But some girl in the lineup was chatting to us that we were butting in with.
So I fucking did it.
And that sort of sets the tone for CPAC.
A lot of weirdos, a lot of amateur hour shit, a lot of fucking lineups and selfies and handshakes.
The actual booths, I don't know, it's a bunch of websites that you could just look up on your own.
Like I bought a Trump teddy bear.
I laid in a cool hammock.
I bought a cool t-shirt that says two scoops, two genders, two terms, deal with it.
And has Trump wearing the thug glasses.
I'll show all that to you later on another episode.
I mean, is it really worth $300 per person?
And the handshakes, I did so many handshakes.
I'm like, I'm going to get coronavirus at this point.
Like, I'm not drinking whiskey for Lent, but I wanted to order a maker's and just sort of pour it on my hand to disinfect it.
It smelled different?
People were, it smelled different.
Smell my hand and it smelled like someone else's hand.
Like I could smell tobacco and stuff.
I don't smoke.
And it was strange.
It was like smelling some fucking stranger's butt cheeks.
So we do all that and then that's so this is Wednesday, right?
Today we're Thursday.
And so then I went to this place and did a talk, which is available on censored.tv with Alex Jones.
It was an okay talk.
A lot of the people who watch this show will be very familiar with all the points and have heard the stories a million times, but it was to people who weren't familiar with it.
It's amazing how few people have heard of censored.tv.
That free speech.tv thing really fucked us.
Proud boys haven't heard of it.
Anyway, I do that talk.
It's available on this site.
And or if you're listening for free, it's available on the site.
And I did this shtick where I came out and Alex Jones introduces me and then I trip and fall.
I rip my knee to shreds, by the way.
My knee's bleeding.
And I drop all my papers.
And so I get up to the podium and I read the last line first and last page first.
And it says, in conclusion, and then I do this boring thing and I say I'm really nervous.
And then Ryan comes out and gives me a beer and cocaine.
But the cocaine, the beauty of cocaine is it's so small that you don't need a fake prop to make fake cocaine.
You just hand a guy nothing and he picks up nothing.
And then the podium is shaped such that I could do lines and you couldn't see that there was no cocaine there.
It's just a dumb joke.
And then I speak very confidently and I'm on after the Coke.
Dumb easy bit.
Do the speech.
We go to Trump Tower.
It's sold out.
We end up at my favorite Bar Kelly's Irish Times.
Talk to our friend Yonah there.
Great night.
Anyway, the next day we go back to CPAC and I'm just like, what are we doing here?
It's good to advertise censored.tv, but this is so fucking boring.
I don't care about these dumb seminars.
What am I going to do?
Hear James O'Keefe talk about Project Veritas?
If I want to do that, I'll grab a beer with him and talk to him.
These are all people I know.
So then I get a call from Jacob Wall and he goes, are you coming to CPAC?
And I go, I guess.
I thought you couldn't get in.
And he goes, I thought you couldn't get in.
I go, I couldn't get in with my media pass, but I just paid $600 for me and Ryan to go in.
Jesus.
So he goes, I'm going there.
I'm going to drop a bomb on the place.
And I go, you're going to blow up all these conservatives?
Good.
Let's do it.
Kill them all.
Let God sort them out.
No, no, no, no.
I'm going to, and by the way, FBI, that's a joke.
I have the transcripts from the trial, and more importantly, I have the jury questionnaires from Roger Stone's trial printed out.
You got to understand, Jacob Wall has dropped some fucking neutron bombs over the past couple years.
Like, he me too'd Mueller.
He got that chick with the, it looks like she has ramen noodle hair.
What's her name?
Elizabeth Schultz?
Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
He said that she had a sex slave that she whipped with scars on his back.
He, what else did he do?
There was another big doozy.
Anyway, he's great at fucking shit up.
He's like Roger Stone in a way.
He's a dirty trickster.
And he's in true Roger Stone fashion.
He's going to go to the CPAC thing, which he can't get into, sneak into the lobby, and then hand out this.
The questionnaires.
And these are available, I believe, at scribbed.com, s-c-r-i-b-d.com/slash project1599 or maybe slash 1599.
You can find them.
They're online.
And they basically show that the jurors for Roger Stone's trial were all left-wing zealots.
They were not just slightly left of centered.
They were all Amy Berman Jackson duplicates.
They watch Rachel Maddow.
They watch all of these fucking shows.
And they lied in these questionnaires.
And the head juror, what's her name?
Tamika something.
Jackson?
No.
Oh, no, no.
Okay.
She said, yeah, I think I've heard of Roger Stone.
I don't really talk about him or Trump.
And then they found tweets recently.
So that's in the questionnaire that was released today.
And then we find tweets with her saying, you know, clan Trump and fucking throw Roger Stone in jail and all this other shit.
And you realize that she's totally biased.
And the irony is that's what Roger Stone is being persecuted for, for lying to the FBI.
She's also committing perjury.
And these documents that Jacob released are signed.
So you should go to jail for this.
At the very least, we obviously need a retrial.
So that was exciting.
But I was pissed off to see Mediaite there and Will Summer and Jared Holt and these tattletales, right-wing watch, watching you.
And I was also annoyed at Conservative Inc. for being so forthcoming, like so eager to please these liberal media tattletales.
So I saw Will Summer and I said, hey, Will, you little tattletale.
Look at you, you ugly bitch.
Look at you, you little dwarf.
You look like a mouse.
And what are you doing here?
You fight and hate?
You watching the right wing?
Are you doing a piece on the Aryan Brotherhood anytime soon?
We have all this on tape.
We'll show you this in future episodes or we'll do another seat back episode, I guess.
And so he just leaves.
Oh, and then I said, Jacob Wall says you're a fed.
I think that would be the only interesting thing about you if you're a fed.
And again, the wall scoop is that he discovered some article that Will Summer wrote from Morocco about foreign policy in Morocco on some blog.
This is like a day after he got out of Georgetown, which is famous for having spooks.
And no, I don't mean African Americans.
I mean feds.
So there's something fishy going on with Will Summer, and good.
I hope there is, because it's the only non-ugly thing about him, including his wife.
And then I was making fun of Jared Holt, and they go, how are we doing, Jared, you tepid tattletale?
Look at your face.
You look like milk.
You know, you look like a glass of water that someone put three drops of milk in, and you just sort of acquiesce.
And then this dude, Zach something, what the fuck's his name?
Zach from Mediaite was there.
And he is an adderalled up beta male nerd with these pencil arms and pencil legs.
And he sees me yelling at Jared Holt.
So he comes over and he stands in front of Jared.
Meanwhile, I'm like 30 feet away.
What's his name?
Zach Petrizzo.
He was the guy who got fired from the Daily Beast, I believe, or the Daily Dot, for saying that Jacob Wall's partner, Jack, his business partner, has six personalities and they all fuck women all over the country.
It was just like this ridiculous made-up story with no proof whatsoever.
So he was there and he was going to bodyguard Jared Holt.
So I got all of this on tape, so you'll see all this.
And then I start mocking them.
And then there's this weird cripple who comes up and he goes, hey, saw you last night.
Do you have anything to say about the cocaine you were using?
Now, these are people that Con Inc. invites.
So we have a conservative conference and CPAC, Con Inc., these milquetoast pussy conservatives, invite in not just New York Times or someone who's going to be slightly left of center, but these radical leftist activist reporters to antagonize people.
And conservatives are such fucking pussies that they sit there and they take it.
And they go, oh, sorry.
Hey, yeah, I'll answer your questions.
What's next?
And so I'm not having that.
So anyway, this guy comes up to me and he's got a cane.
He's with like the Montgomery something.
We have him on tape.
And he goes, you want to talk about the cocaine you were doing last night?
And again, it was just a joke.
There was no actual cocaine there.
And I pretended to be flummox and I went, oh my God, how did you find out about that?
I thought that was private.
I thought that was a secret.
Meanwhile, I did it in front of cameras on stage.
And he goes, it was live streamed.
Oh, fuck.
I literally did that.
I went, oh, fuck.
And so he goes, and then he's like, I got him.
I mean, pathetic.
So then later on, we go to see.
So then Jacob and Jack get up there and they have all these files.
And they go, they explain.
And we have all this on tape.
How did the audio of that turn out, by the way?
Pretty good.
Really?
Yeah.
Because it was loud in there.
Yeah, no, it came up pretty good.
Directional mics.
This mic is really nice.
Hey, directional mic, I'd like to blow you right now.
That's how much I love you.
And you're also, you have the handheld, so that's, I can't think of one moment that isn't picked up well.
Okay.
So they did this press conference, which we'll also show.
And they said, you know, what I just told you, that the jurors were obviously biased.
This was kangaroo court.
Roger Stone was framed.
He doesn't deserve.
If I was the judge, I would be pissed at Roger Stone.
You fucking lied.
Roger Stone committed a crime and he deserves a $350 fine.
He should spend an entire afternoon in jail from 3 to 7 p.m.
And he should be drug tested once at that same jail.
And if he comes out positive, he has to write out a form apologizing.
That's what you should do to Roger Stone.
Like the guy Max Hare is in prison with upstate.
He got a vigilante posse together and they killed a guy who raped a young girl.
And I was like, that's fucked up.
We don't live in a vigilante society.
That son of a bitch should be deprived of beer for a week and a half, spend over two days in jail, and pay a $480 fine.
I can't wait to be a judge.
Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts, absolutely.
And Amy Berman Jackson is corrupt.
And she framed Roger Stone.
And Jacob and Jack portrayed that beautifully.
But then that kid, the gimp, came up to me, the one with the cocaine scoop, quality journalism.
And he goes, hey, man, can I take a picture with you?
Okay.
This is, I'm not going to exaggerate.
This would be number 270 of, hey.
I started changing it after that.
I said, hey, man, big fan.
I go, oh, you're a big fan?
Yeah.
Are you subscribed to censor.tv?
Not yet.
I go, well, then no selfie.
And sometimes they'd think I was kidding and go, okay, well, let me just set up the picture.
I go, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No selfie.
You're not invited.
Sorry, my nose is itchy.
And that actually helped sort of take my stress level down because I fucking hate doing these stupid, phony, big fan shits.
And if you don't subscribe to censored.tv, you're not a big, quote-unquote fan.
Anyway, he takes the picture and then he's finally close to me and he goes, you're a piece of shit, by the way.
And so then he goes over and listens to the Jacob Jack thing.
So I think you have this on camera.
So I come over to him.
I go, what the fuck are you doing?
He goes, what's the problem?
And I go, you take pictures of people with people and then you call them a piece of shit.
And he goes, I can take a picture of you.
It's a public place or something like that.
And I go, but then, what are you doing with the passive-aggressive piece of shit thing?
Like, do you have a problem?
You want to get into it?
And he goes, it's perfectly normal to take a picture of someone.
You are a piece of shit.
He should have said, you are a piece of shit, but he didn't.
He was nervous.
And then I sort of pushed my chest into him and lost his weird gimpy balance.
And I said, if you want to do something, let's do something.
Don't fucking play these passive aggressive games.
And then he goes, get your hands off me.
Don't touch me, Gavin.
This is like at the press thing.
So now he's drowning out Jacob and Jack.
And then he scurries away.
Someone later brought up, do you think sometimes cripples, they have such a high tolerance of pain if they have cerebral palsy or something?
Some of them have a fetish with being beat up and like to provoke people.
And then you start thinking, maybe that's why you're crippled in the first place, because you kept goading people into kicking the shit out of you.
Anyway, he disappears.
And they finish the thing and we do an interview, which we'll show you.
That'll also be on censored.tv.
And shortly after that, so he may have been the tattletale more than Jared Holt and Will Summer.
I don't know which one of those rats or the mediaite guy, Zach.
I don't know which one of those rats snitched.
But I find it shockingly ironic that I called that group of journalists tattletales and that someone from that group or that entire group tattletailed and had me removed.
And the cripple came back later and so the odds are pretty high that he was the snitch.
And I said, what are people like you doing here?
Like, why does CPAC invite people like you and not people like Jacob and I?
And we'll also show you this on the site censored TV.
And he goes, because we have decorum and we have civil conversations.
Like, you just said you're a piece of shit.
That's not decorum.
And then he goes, and you just threatened to beat the shit out of me.
I guess he was taking the chest nudge to, he was translating it into English.
And the English translation is, I'm going to beat the shit out of you.
I go, what are you talking about?
It's just a lie.
But because we're so eager, oh, look, that worked.
Rogaine, stain, no mo.
Is that just a big stain ring around it?
Oh, is there a stain ring?
It's a big ring.
Oh, shit.
But can you see it?
Not too clearly.
I can see your ring.
You can't see my ring clearly?
It just looks like a big hair on the bottom, but otherwise, no, it's there.
I can see it.
Yeah, that sucks.
Because that's the kind of thing you keep making it bigger and bigger, and then you just have another ring, and another ring, and another ring.
Just end it at the seams.
But step into the shower.
So African-American gentleman approaches me.
Yeah, so we finished the interview, and then we're talking and laughing, and everyone's having fun, and our side is the fun side, and their side is the snitchy little, I'm taking my ball home side.
And African-American gentleman approaches me and he goes, we'd like to have a talk with you.
And I go, am I getting kicked out?
Because giant black men who are not conservatives rarely approach me at conservative conferences.
And I said, am I getting kicked out?
And they go, would you just like to have a talk with you at the other side of the door, please?
That sounds like being kicked out.
So then some other dude with a badge approaches me as they're doing it.
And he said, what's your name?
And I said, Gavin McInnis.
I shook his hand.
He didn't want to shake my hand.
He pulled back.
And he said, I can't remember what his question was.
Like, who are you here with or something?
So then the group, now it's like seven giant black men escorting me out.
The only black men in the hotel, by the way, besides some conservatives, lead me out of the hotel room.
And then I just said, sorry, out of the hotel.
One of them, by the way, that I thought was a Fed, because he looks like a Marshal.
Fat.
They're usually way overweight.
They've got their badge around here.
But I looked at his badge, and it said, Gaylord Security.
I guess that's the name of the convention center.
And it's like, I'm happy to be kicked out, but I'll pay you $1,000 for that badge.
I need that badge.
And then I go, I got a bad feeling you guys don't want to talk on the other side of the doors.
And so they escort me out, and then InfoWars is there, and they interview me.
You just got kicked out of C-PAC forever.
Yep, thank God.
Thank God I don't have to do selfies tomorrow.
We can get the fuck out of here.
Although we have to do AFPAC and talk to Nick Fuentes and Michelle Malkin.
So then we're being escorted out.
And then I just started yelling at them and saying that I'm having a better pack.
One of the security guys was laughing, by the way.
I said, we're having our own C-PAC, but the C is cocaine, and there's going to be naked chicks there, and you're not invited.
So don't even try to come to my pack.
It's going to be way more fun than your stupid pack.
And then we left and went and got a beer.
But before I go too far down that hole, I want to tell you about Bubba and Hanks.
Bubba and Hanks beef.
Now, this is two guys who, you know, you've heard the Hatfield and the McCoy's.
This guy, Bubba and Hanks, have had beef for centuries now.
Their families hate each other's guts.
And the Bubba and Hanks beef is one of the most notorious beefs in American history.
Just kidding.
Bubba and Hanks Beef is a veteran-owned Wagyu beef farm in Victoria, Texas.
All beef is grown with no hormones and no antibiotics.
So to be clear, Bubba and Hanks Beef is not about a guy named Bubba and a guy named Hanks with a beef.
It's about two guys who are friends and create beef, Wagyu beef, some of the most delicious beef ever.
You ever had those steaks like at Keene's Steakhouse where for like seven hours later you're still sort of looking at the window just thinking about them, just thinking how incredible that steak was?
Or the cheeseburgers at Keene's Steakhouse.
This is what America is good at.
America is good at good beef and Bubba and Hanks are the best at good American beef.
Again, no hormones, no antibiotics.
Their beef is processed, aged, and packaged in USDA-approved facilities and ready to ship to your door.
Farm to table, the real American way.
Right now, my listeners receive 15% off all purchases when they use promo code Gavin15.
That's at www.b-U-B-B-A, Bubba, and A-N-D, Hanks, H-A-N-K-S dot com.
Promo code GAVIN15, www.bubba and hanks, and is spelled out, not an ampersand, and hanks.com.
Get the best Wagyu beef.
And I've had this before.
They sent me a sample.
And dude, you realize how often you settle for crap meat.
When you taste quality beef, no hormones, no antibiotics, you kind of feel a buzz for a while afterwards.
Like you feel better.
It's sort of like when you spend the weekend in the country and you're driving back and you just sort of feel closer to nature.
You feel revitalized.
And that's what you get from BubbaandHanks.com.
So support veteran-owned business.
They're owned by vets.
Bubba and Hanks are vets.
Support free speech.
It's 100% Gavin McInnis certified beef.
What do you make of coffee?
Why do you have coffee at 7 o'clock at night?
You don't know how to sleep.
You're going to be up till like 4, and then you're going to have to nap.
Like a normal person just goes to bed at midnight, gets up at 8, or goes to bed at midnight, gets up at 7, and then has a normal life.
Like you're sleeping in the taxi cab on the way here.
That's not normal.
I couldn't drink during the day.
I don't like to drink until I'm done with work.
Stop saying that.
Ryan keeps saying, I don't drink until I'm done with work.
Yeah, that's normal.
That's not rocking.
That's like saying, you know what?
I don't rape.
It's one of my things.
If a woman wants to have sex with me, she can.
If she doesn't, I will not hold a knife to her neck and wear a ski mask and fuck her while she cries.
What's that got to do with napping in a taxi cab?
Well, that's why I need a coffee.
Need a little boost.
What's that got to do with drinking?
Oh, because I need some sort of treat.
I need some sort of treat.
How is that for millennials?
Well, if you need a treat, please go to BubbaandHanks.com and use promo code GAVIN15.
So that's what happened at CPAC today.
CPAC's pathetic.
The right-wing movement is pathetic.
If we want to win, we need to focus on two big things here: unity and balls.
We have no unity.
The moderate right is scared of the far right.
And I would also criticize Nick Fuentes, America First, even my friends Milo, Jacob, not Jacob, I guess, Milo and all the Cernovich and all the people shitting on Never Trumpers.
I love everyone on the right.
If you want less government, you're my friend.
Now, down the line, when we're totally in control, we can start fighting.
Sure.
You know, when punk was big in the early 80s, we had the Sharpskins hated the Nazi skins, the boot boys hated the Chelsea's, the peace punks hated the skate punks.
You know, when I was a kid, BMXers hated skateboarders because we had room to.
We don't have that luxury right now.
We don't have the luxury of hate right now.
We need to stick together, get Trump to win, reduce the government, increase freedoms, get free speech back in the forefront of American thought, get the Second Amendment back in the forefront of American thought.
Once all that is established again, and we stop hearing about fathers who can't see their kid because they don't believe in gender reassignment surgery, as soon as we can flush that shit down the toilet, then we can start our interfighting.
I love gossip.
I love being a catty little bitch.
But there's no time.
There's no room to be a catty little bitch right now.
And there's this civil war on the right where the far, far right, which I'm not a part of, I'm new right.
The far, far right is saying, fuck these pussies.
I hate Charlie Kirk.
I hate Turning Point USA.
I hate Ben Shapiro.
And I understand their sentiment.
They're right in the sense that CPAC is a good example of the pussification of the right.
And that's not good for anyone.
If I ran CPAC, I'd give Nick Fuentes a knight.
You know, Comedy Central, the original plan, though they haven't really followed this, was we're comedy central.
We're like Home Depot.
So we have Jeff Foxworthy, we have David Cross, we have Louis C.K., we have blue-collar comedy, we have liberal comedy, we have all the whole spectrum.
If you want comedy, you come to Comedy Central.
Now it's become too left.
But CPAC should be that way.
We have the radical right.
We have the people who are done with Israel.
We also have the Zionists.
We have the Israelis.
There should be Ezra Levant there.
There should be Dennis Prager.
There should be Mark Stein.
Well, there is Mark Stein.
There should be Pat Buchanan there.
We need representatives from the paleocons, the isolationists, the neocons.
We want John Bolton.
I want John Bolton and Pat Buchanan in a room.
How fucking awesome would that be?
But instead, this group is petrified of antagonizing anyone.
They want to count out to the left.
They give them press passes.
They let these people harass us.
And if we show any kind of, if we have a problem being called a piece of shit, and we ask the guy what the hell he's talking about, that, we're kicked out permanently from CPAC.
Not allowed back.
You dared to question one of the liberal gadflies that we invited here to swarm around and pester everyone.
Like that mediaite guy, Zach, every question he gave to Jacob Wall was about some other bullshit felony case that's still in the courts about insider trading or some crap or some other relationship or didn't you drive drunk when you were 28 at a party?
They're not journalists.
They're activists.
And that guy with the cane too, I said that to him.
He goes, I am an activist.
Okay, good.
So we're on the same page.
But why are you here?
And he was there.
All of those fuckers, all of those snitches, all those tattletales were there because the right is weak.
And that is my biggest problem with them.
They haven't lived.
They've never had a threesome.
They've never done drugs.
They've never been in a fist fight.
Half of them are virgins.
And it's sad.
I mean, I don't know how I ended up with these fucking people.
I started, I was Antifa when I was 18.
We hated the government.
We were anarchists.
We went to rallies.
We said no government.
And now the no government people, the less government people are seen as radical right-wing extremists that even conservatives are scared of.
Well, fuck you if you can't take a joke.
Steve Bayner was kicked out, right?
Was he?
Yeah.
Fuck you if you're a humorless cunt.
Within every joke is a tiny revolution, as George Orwell said.
And these people, the moderate right, a lot of the mainstream conservatives, obviously liberals, obviously radical liberals, they're just weak.
And they're also anti-fun.
They're really pushing this culture of gray.
And that pisses me off because I love fun.
Like, where's the jokes on the right?
There's Steven Crowder.
He jokes around.
There's Fleckis talks, high-quality humorist right there.
What else is there?
Owen Benjamin seems to have, we seem to have lost him to a certain degree.
But as far as like right-wingers that you tune in on, like Jesse Waters, this is Waters' world.
Is that what we have to choose from?
And every time you try to be funny, the left, the right says, what are you doing?
You're causing trouble.
You did cocaine at a thing.
Some crippled liberal told me that you were doing Coke.
That's terrible.
No, I wasn't doing Coke.
I was doing joke.
Anyway, so we're going to go to AFPAC tomorrow, interview Nick Fuentes and Michelle Malkin.
We have tons of great footage to show you of our interview with Jacob Wall and everything I've been talking about, including getting kicked out.
We have all that on tape.
So we'll put together a CPAC Super Reel.
And we'll put that up.
I'm not sure when.
I wanted to give you a podcast so the people who listen to the free podcast could have something.
But it's been a lot of fun.
I know I don't sound very fun, but I have been bonding with awesome people.
Like I met Carpe Donctum, talked to him for a while.
Great guy, funny dude.
Alex Jones obviously spoke to.
The people around Alex Jones are awesome too.
His bodyguard's funny.
The people that do his production are great.
Everyone in Infowars are really fun people to hang out with.
Like Owen Schroyer, I did an interview with him.
Fun dudes.
Funny dudes.
Ballsy dudes.
Had beers all day today with Jacob Wall and Fleckis.
That was fantastic.
Really stimulating conversations.
And so I don't mean to portray all of this as a haze.
I'm just saying that the people in charge are dollards.
The men on the ground, the guys with their boots on, are the interesting ones.
This goes back to the NYPD.
Cops who walk the beat are great guys, interesting guys.
Their bosses suck shit.
Military, the jarheads, the guys who go out there and actually pull the trigger, they're salt of the earth, awesome dudes to hang out with, great guys to party with.
Their bosses suck shit.
The top brass sucks shit.
So when I sit here and complain about CPAC, I'm not talking about Fleckis and Jacob and Milo or even Ben Shapiro and Nick Fuentes and all those people.
Those people are interesting, stimulating human beings, and I've had a great time talking to them.
But the top brass, the actual establishment people who control who gets a pass and who doesn't, those people are ruining.
I don't even want to say the conservative movement.
They're ruining everything that's not liberal.
They're ruining the rebellion against this tyranny of the left.
That's a better way to put it.
Fuck conservatives.
The people who have been assigned to taking down the tyranny of the left are dropping the ball.
We've got plenty of great guys down here that want to help, that are doing the right thing, like Roger Stone, like Proud Boys, and they're getting abandoned.
And so that's annoying because you're hanging out all day with all this talent.
And then you look at the people at the top and they're just feckless cunts.
Which brings us to JohnnyAppleseed, J-A-C-B-D.com.
I'd like you to go there right now, use the promo code Gavin, get edibles, get topicals, get the tincture.
You drink too much coffee like Ryan is right now, you're feeling sketched out.
You take the tincture, it takes the edge off.
So if you need a treat in the middle of the day, like, oh, the cookies, yeah, and you need to get a coffee, well, that's weird, but okay, do that.
But make sure you take the tincture to take the zing off.
That's really the problem with cocaine.
That's why I don't do it.
I only pretend to do it because it's just so edgy.
I remember doing pure cocaine many, many years ago.
It felt fantastic.
This JACBD, this CBD will not get you high.
It's everything good about hemp without any of the thrills.
Now, normally with these things, we have the free YouTube, and then we go behind a paywall and take calls.
We're not doing that today.
I can't be bothered.
And I'm going to this National File thing.
I've never heard of National File before coming here.
But that's sort of where the outcasts are going.
The people who are banned are heading there tonight.
So this will remain free on YouTube, free audio to upload.
There's no more calls today.
This is the Thursday episode of Get Off My Lawn.
And forthcoming on censored.tv, we'll have my speech last night.
Everything I just talked about, the Jacob press conference with Roger Stone's jurors questionnaires being released.
These pissy little mediaite ants acting like Bob Acosta, getting in people's face, likely getting fired again from another job.
Cunt is an underused word, especially when it comes to these right-wing watchdogs who seem to avoid the Aryan Brotherhood and bona fide white nationalist gangs.
They seem more focused on injecting white nationalism into non-racists.
But the actual racist people, they don't seem to have the courage to confront.
Or if they're looking at hate, they seem to avoid the black Hebrew Israelites murdering Jews in New Jersey or the jihadists that want Israel to cease to exist.
They seem to ignore those guys.
They seem more determined to find a Trump supporter saying an unfortunate joke 10 years ago.
At any rate, I like you more than a friend.
And I want you to not get fired on purpose, but if getting fired is holding you back from saying what you feel and being yourself, then you should get fired.
Get in trouble.
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