Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #24 - EAT THE RICH

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Dec. 7, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:16:04

GOML LIVE #24 - EAT THE RICH

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McGinnis.
	We are two seconds into the show.
	That's two mistakes.
	We have to try that again.
	We're live.
	Yeah, I know.
	What should we do?
	Try it again in another life?
	We should give it another go.
	So we're going to go time traveling, but instead of killing Hitler, we're going to see fear when they played SNL.
	Yes.
	We're going to redo that shitty intro that you fucked up.
	I just asked you, go to Cut to the Wide.
	I said, should we put the Merry Christmas back here?
	And you go, no, no, it'll be fine there.
	And I go, but you have to reach over to touch the things there.
	And he goes, no, no, I can reach around them.
	Yeah, but you rush.
	I don't know.
	I think you have a disdain for that song, because usually it'll let the song play out at least like...
	We own it.
	Why let it play out?
	Well, so I could time the buttons.
	I got to film my button work over here because the intro, it's a little complicated.
	Okay, but I was right about the Merry Christmas.
	Only because I was rushing.
	And then I was saying to you, only because you're rushing.
	Your plan has to include the possibility that you'll be in a rush once in a while.
	Not for an intro that we usually have figured out, but every week I forget that you hate our song or something.
	Don't hate your fucking song.
	I hate you.
	I didn't make the song.
	It's like, I don't mind when things fuck up, but it's when I predict that there's an issue and you go, no, it's fine.
	then it falls.
	What?
	No.
	Somebody out there, like, take the button pressing and put them in the compilation and see if you don't notice that.
	Okay, that's not the point.
	The point is, the Merry Christmas, I said, it's going to be an issue.
	And you said no.
	And then when I say, hey, I was right, you make up some crazy fucking excuse.
	It's not crazy.
	You can't listen is your problem.
	It's like we said with the number three, where I said, make it white.
	And you're like, okay.
	And then I look at it, it's pink.
	And then I go, dude, make it white.
	And then you're right.
	You're in your notes.
	Make the number three red.
	Like, how do words not get into your brain?
	Mother Nature's hella pissed.
	No, I'm hella pissed.
	We don't give a damn.
	Clearly.
	It doesn't do anything?
	Welcome to the show.
	This is live now.
	We are 9.05 p.m. Eastern Time.
	We're kind of nervous because if anything racist happens, it's out there in the cosmos.
	Or anything involving hate or anything that we shouldn't say, it's out there.
	And our days are numbered here at YouTube.
	We're told the end is nigh.
	You know what I was told?
	Insider gossip?
	I was told that they're not going to kick off Steven Crowder because he's suing them.
	I heard that too.
	That's a good lesson.
	I think maybe that's why I've lasted so long is because they see me suing the SPLC and they go, oh shit, he's litigious.
	Hold off on him for a bit.
	I got to clear out the legal board.
	Clear out the suings.
	But before we get started, before we embark on this journey together, I cannot say enough about Johnny Apple CBD.
	Please go to jacbd.com right now.
	Use the promo code Gavin and support our sponsor, JohnnyApple CBD.
	When you use the promo code Gavin at checkout, you get 20% off plus free shipping.
	jacbd.com support free speech you will not get high you're just going to feel as great as i do every day check it out the tincture delicios the topical ointment smells tremendous feels amazing the gummies taste so great and they help me sleep i don't know if you ever wake up with the terrors in the middle of the night but uh you don't with these gummies the horrors the horrors i love that for some reason i mean you know what else helps with the horrors think of
	Stuff you love, like Animal House and your kids.
	I've never seen Animal House, and I don't have kids.
	Yeah, well, I'm clearly talking about the things I love, and how can you not have seen Animal House?
	I don't know.
	You know what?
	I wish you were a zombie, and I could chain you to the desk, and then every time you piss me off, I could just shoot you.
	With a bullet?
	Yeah.
	You can't shoot me in the head, though, because I'd be done for.
	Okay.
	Well, you know what I'll do?
	I'll tape the gun to the desk.
	And then just have a button, maybe.
	I just go.
	Oh, I see.
	Oh, it's a bolt action?
	It's just the mound of duct tape.
	But it's a bolt action.
	No.
	You just did this.
	That was me using a pen.
	Oh, gotcha.
	So it'll have an opening for the clip to reload.
	Right.
	And I'll just.
	That's a good invention.
	And then I'll put a big steel plate on the wall there so we don't shoot through the studio.
	Yeah, pretty much everything surrounding me would have to be a steel plate.
	At that point, we kind of lost the point of shooting you, right?
	Yeah, or creating zombies.
	Do zombies even mind when they get shot?
	No.
	I would just be like, dude.
	that's not ideal at all this is a wonderful a badass company johnny apple seed cd and uh these supplements have helped me with my sleep and my workouts i use the um the topical ointment the cbd cream after the gym and it feels fantastic and i use the gummies at night i have tried the tincture before um i don't know why i don't use the tincture more jacbd.com use promo code gavin for 20 off at checkout and free shipping feel great be great jacbd.com
	promo code gavin that's french for gavin g-a-v-i-n you hear about the spotify thing have you heard anything about that what they're getting kicked off youtube no there's a thing where um you could check out your favorite podcasts and a couple of people said you're you i the like i Only listen to your podcast basically, and you don't pop up on my top five.
	And I'm like, was that your fucking phone?
	I have it on mute.
	I don't know why I did that.
	I promise.
	It's been on mute.
	So why did it ring?
	I don't know.
	Maybe because it's a.
	Let's write down your mistakes, shall we?
	Ryan's fuck-ups.
	People think I'm being mean, but is that mean to write down like a guy keeps fucking up your show?
	So, Merry Christmas, fell.
	I remember telling you about the button pushing.
	It's too much.
	Too quick.
	You should be able to handle anything with the button pushing.
	Whenever I do your songs, I push the button fast and you seem to get it.
	Button too long.
	Phone rang.
	Again.
	And we don't know why.
	I gotta put this on.
	Do not disturb us.
	Turn it off.
	Ryan, turn your phone off.
	We already had a fight about this today.
	Okay.
	So it's off?
	It's on airplay mode.
	Turn it off.
	It's as good as dead.
	Turn it off.
	This goes back to the red three versus the white three.
	Words can't fit in your brain.
	Did you turn it off?
	Yep.
	Can I see it, please?
	Okay.
	By the way, Dallas and Chicago are tied at seven points right now.
	That's proof we're live?
	Yes.
	A lot of people give less of a shit about football.
	But speaking of baseball, the Mets have some eccentric CED fund billionaire who's going to buy them and get rid of these, what are they called?
	The lipskis?
	The lip smuds?
	The talismeres?
	The people who own the Mets that everyone hates.
	I can't remember their name.
	And we're getting rid of Mickey Calloway.
	I hope we get rid of Diaz, the worst closer in the history of baseball.
	And we're getting Cespidus back.
	Just look up Mets owners.
	Mets owners and executives.
	It's a family.
	This might go on your list.
	Payson?
	No.
	Doubleday.
	George Weiss.
	Watch how fast I am.
	Mets owners.
	Family.
	And they are.
	Brody Van Wagenen, the Wilpons.
	Paul Podesta.
	Yeah, I'm including that as a mistake.
	Can't Google Mets owners.
	Well, we're off to a bad start here, aren't we?
	Why doesn't it show up here?
	Because you suck.
	In Wikipedia?
	Wikipedia has too much information.
	That's showing you every executive and person who's ever worked for the Mets since the beginning of time.
	You still are trying to find something that I just found.
	No, I'm not.
	I'm typing in Ah, I see.
	Yeah, that's a picture of your face.
	This week, I guess we didn't have any guests.
	The biggest hit this week was making fun of this guy, Caesar, from 90 Day Fiancé.
	I'm not going to replay it because the bitches who subscribe get all pissy.
	But we became fascinated by him, and we didn't know that we were really late on the whole thing, and people have been talking about him for months.
	But this is not a breaking news show, and we'll probably get YouTube strikes for showing this.
	But let's show the first appearance that he had.
	I talked about him for half the show, and we really marveled at the fact that he was holding up like a message from her, how much he paid her.
	And he goes like this for a second, and the cameraman decides to unfocus from the phone and focus on his eyes.
	And it's just a fantastic moment.
	I hadn't done my hair because we just got back from Thanksgiving.
	And then she back and there was a meeting.
	So this producer obviously cares about this poor bastard and says things like, how do you know she's not sending these hay baby things to other men?
	And he pauses for a second and goes, and it's clear he's never thought of that.
	And then she says, hello, I love you, my husband.
	And she goes, does she ever say your name?
	It's never occurred to me.
	Anyway, in the following episode, we did an update.
	And he went to, she said, you can't come to Ukraine right now because it's so cold.
	So we should go to Mexico where it'll be warm and schlufenty and schlawenty.
	So he goes to Mexico.
	And that got kind of weird because we think he might be such a boob that he had insufficient funds.
	We can't figure out that part of the story.
	Why would she want a Mexican vacation if she's not going to go?
	Like, the ticket isn't a Willy Wonka golden ticket.
	You can't just use it for something else, which you can't do with the Willy Wonka golden ticket, by the way.
	So I don't understand what she wanted from the trip to Mexico.
	All I could guess was that she would arrive there and then vamuse or say, send me the money for the ticket.
	I have to buy it with Ukrainian dollars or something.
	Anyway, it was denied because he had insufficient funds.
	But Ryan noticed in the second video that he was really sad about the Mexican trip.
	He didn't enjoy it.
	He was there by himself.
	And then he, as he was packing the bags, we discovered, well, Ryan claims he saw a whip, which I think may have just been a champagne bottle.
	But wait, what are you doing?
	Go to the free speech.
	yeah the second episode that we covered Serenity now.
	Serenity now.
	His suitcase is full of edible panties.
	Like maybe 10 pairs.
	Edible panties.
	And I think some of the edible underwear was for him.
	For his body.
	Remember, the episode after that one sucked.
	And then the next one we did.
	Oh, I thought it was the day right after.
	I'm sorry.
	No, it wasn't the day right after.
	It was yesterday.
	Yes.
	Derived a lot of joy from this ridiculous.
	So Steve can get to the tier, by the way.
	Guys, I don't like men crying, but I think that's his tear.
	We don't care about his tear.
	We want to see his suitcase pack.
	No matter how absurd.
	That's him borrowing money.
	He borrowed, I think, $800 for the trip.
	This is him.
	Just pause.
	So this is him.
	He's arrived in Mexico, and his life is ruined because she didn't show.
	But the reason, the whole reason we're doing this whole update.
	This is all boring.
	Get to the suitcase.
	Get to you online.
	Okay, here we go.
	Oh, that Clinice Wood movies.
	I think it's after the craft.
	Pouch.
	There we go.
	Dude, I think some of these are for him.
	So she eats the edible men's underwear off of.
	You know what I just realized?
	I can't.
	That's enough of that.
	I can't physically imagine a way that you would have edible panties in a non-jokey way.
	I mean, I know what oral intercourse is.
	Like, what do you do?
	You eat the area till that's gone?
	You just get sticky and it's pointless.
	Yeah, you get all this, like, strands of sort of weird plastic in your mustache that's sort of disintegrating into your mustache.
	And there's no clean pictures of it on the image search because nobody uses them.
	I mean, there's two kinds, right?
	There's those.
	So I see those that would be so corny, but you like grab one of the candies and then pull it away and pink and then it's in your mouth.
	I sort of get that, but I don't.
	But the ones that are like that edible plastic, I mean, you get it.
	Oh, haha, oh, edible.
	Oh, they make me think of mouths and genitalia.
	I get it.
	Ooh.
	But then when you actually try to do the actual math of what actually happens, I don't, I just see like sugar disintegrating, gross kind of a mess.
	That doesn't look fun at all to eat or to wear.
	No, I can't imagine a scenario.
	I'm going to look it up.
	I'm going to try to find some adult videos of edible panties in action, and I bet they're ridiculous.
	I bet we won't be able to show them.
	I don't know if they exist.
	I don't know if such a thing exists.
	It's sort of like those blow-up dolls, the old-fashioned kind that you'd see at bachelor parties in the 80s.
	Has a human ever used one of those not as a joke?
	And seriously, like laid on top of her, kissing her weird face?
	Because if that's ever happened, that is heartbreaking.
	We'll be taking calls shortly, by the way.
	Also in the news, actually, the way we do the show Monday to Wednesday is also in the news.
	And we do a bunch of newsy stuff.
	But this show is just supposed to be shooting the shit.
	Yeah.
	But it hasn't been shooting the shit so far.
	You and I have had several fights.
	We went over the best of the week.
	I feel like we should chill more and just shoot the shit more, like that edible underwear thing.
	Yeah, I was going to look up blow-up towels because they've changed over the years, but there's nothing I can show in there.
	It's too much dirtiness.
	It's too much dirtiness.
	This is why we go to church to talk about how America has too much dirtiness now.
	It's disgusting.
	I found a, you know, let me find this.
	Somebody sent a good mailbag thing.
	We should do the mailbag too.
	We'll have plenty of time.
	I'm hot.
	Oh, the David Cross.
	Oh, yeah.
	I wanted to talk about that.
	That was it.
	So apparently David Cross, my old best pal, was on some panel with Dave Smith, my new best pal.
	That hurts.
	Talking about censorship and defending it.
	Which is weird, but I do want to say something about censorship that will probably ruin our brand and end this entire network.
	Who do we got?
	Who's in this cavalcade of concert?
	Oh, wait.
	Go back.
	Stop.
	Yeah.
	Stop.
	Before you get to that, I forgot the final piece.
	I'm watching SNL, SNL sketches on YouTube.
	Basically, here's the deal with SNL.
	99% of the time, you only want to look at the actual sketches that are pre-taped.
	If it's live and they're looking at the cue cards, it's never funny.
	But Will Farrell has been doing this for so long that he did a parody of the R Caesar guy.
	But you know, it was funny.
	You might have to look up SNL Mexican Vacation Alone.
	I typed in Mexican Vacation, actually.
	Or Mexican date.
	You know what's funny about this?
	So the guy who screwed up and was a loser is a black guy, and he's trying to get this white date.
	It's Cicely Strong, Will Farrell, and some black guy.
	isn't it funny how they switched the races up?
	Because it would...
	And being laughed at by a white guy.
	So they just switched it.
	And they made the white guy laughing, who I guess is me in this scenario, a black dude.
	That gay Asian is always just being a gay lord.
	He has the least range I've ever seen out of any comedy person on Spanish.
	The guy that snubbed Shane Gillis?
	Yes.
	Kind of.
	That's more energy than Caesar ever really had, too.
	She's going to meet me.
	Her name is Sabina.
	She's from Moldova.
	Moldova is next to Ukraine.
	Oh, cool.
	Her name's Maria, not Sabina.
	They're not very subtle here with this.
	Yeah.
	How did you meet?
	On a website where you look for Moldovan women.
	I sent her flowers that cost $800.
	Wow, you must be well off.
	Well, I do what I can.
	It's worth it when you're in love.
	Like this trip to Mexico.
	Lobster for two?
	Yes, that's for me and Sabina.
	She's my girlfriend from Moldova, and she's meeting me here in Mexico.
	Oh, that's great.
	Yeah, we're in love.
	And that's why I bought her a plane ticket from Moldova to Mexico to meet me.
	And I bought the lobster and caviar for dinner for two.
	It's prepaid.
	Yeah, I saw that.
	This is a nice thing.
	She had to read her cue card to say I saw that.
	What the hell?
	And the other thing that drives me nuts about SNL is all of those people that are from the groundlings and UCB, they riff for a living.
	That's their whole...
	But you won't let them stray from the script at all.
	You know what the ratings are?
	That waitress couldn't have went, yeah, that's true.
	Or that's interesting.
	On her own?
	Right.
	You know, it would break the TV ratings, frankly.
	If I did a live episode where they were allowed to improv.
	Imagine that.
	That would totally change the show forever, and it would be six times funnier.
	Or it would bomb, and it would be huge ratings.
	I've seen, like, you know, the fat one who's on this show who cracks up all the time?
	I've been to a UCB thing with her.
	Horatio Sinton?
	Oh, no, the fat one.
	The chick.
	Okay.
	And she's amazing.
	Super hilarious.
	They were doing this thing.
	I was actually the subject of it once, back before I was blackballed.
	And I would tell a story that was true.
	Just some made-up dumb story like the time my dad, I don't know, killed an eagle.
	And then they would take those elements and do four different sketches based on those elements.
	Now, I know it sounds like corny drama club geek stuff.
	And it is.
	But it still takes some impressive talent.
	They're all that good at that, so let them be funny on their own.
	Anyway, that was a long way to explain that the crowd, the screen just went blurry.
	Yeah, but they still have Ferrell's been making fun of Caesars.
	But I think that the real interesting thing about this is that Americans can't handle a black dunce.
	So they make the loser in this sketch white.
	And they kind of lose the essence of why Caesar is so pathetic.
	Because he's not excited.
	He's like, okay, I'm going to work for a love like, like a love you.
	Like a dreamland.
	Yeah, and I'm not racist.
	So I can laugh at a black guy.
	It's not unfathomable to me that a black guy can be a dunce.
	No, we can't laugh at black people.
	It's 2019.
	It's too soon.
	It's too soon after Jim Crow.
	All right, that's enough of that crap.
	That's enough stinks.
	Cecily Strong is a smoke show, by the way.
	She's kind of smoky, right?
	I get Scottish vibes off of her.
	You think she's Italian?
	I looked it up.
	Yeah, she's part Sicilian.
	You know what I like about her is her lopsided face.
	When she talks, it's like part of her mouth has paralysis.
	She's like Jean-Cretien.
	I think she's getting older, though.
	But she's going.
	You can tell she's going to age well.
	Where's that top lip?
	Damn, bitch.
	You don't think she has much of a top lip?
	No, but look at the mouth.
	That's exactly what you got.
	Yeah, see that?
	Hey, I have cerebral palsy.
	It's hot, though.
	I love a good cerebral palsy lady.
	You think I got cerebral palsy?
	Like, ah.
	Red Man.
	All right, so now we've covered.
	So that was the highlight of this week, was making fun of Caesar, the nail technician, who spent $40,000 on his girlfriend who doesn't exist.
	Well, she exists, but it's not his girlfriend.
	And then we discovered that SNL had covered it, but switched the races to make it more palatable.
	And now I haven't seen this, but it's interesting to me because I wanted to talk about this.
	It's a bunch of Davids I've loved over the years, old and new, talking about censorship and why it's good.
	Alex Jones first got banned from like Facebook and Twitter and all the platforms.
	And people were like, well, he is pretty crazy.
	So I think it's cool he got banned.
	I knew like three people who worked for anti-war.com who were just hardcore anti-war activists, not conspiracy theorists at all.
	and they all got banned too and it's almost like when they make this big thing It was just in the sweep of, hey, we're banning crazy people.
	Also, these people who have been like against the wars through Bush, Obama, and Trump, they got kicked off too.
	Scott Horton.
	Talk for about a minute and then cross jumps in.
	Okay, just pause.
	And here's the thing I noticed about the Alex Jones thing.
	They go, and even Howard Stern said this.
	Howard Stern said, well, you know, free speech doesn't mean he actually used that stupid analogy, you can't yell fire in a crowded theater.
	Actually, Dave says that in this.
	Really?
	Yeah, and he says that that is based on when they were trying to take away protesters' rights when they were in World War I, people were anti-war, and they came up with that whole precedent then.
	Yes, and they lost.
	Right.
	But anyway, hold on, hold on, hold on.
	So Howard Stern, by the way, Howard Stern, this is a guy, ooh, has my tie been like this the whole time?
	This is one of the most irritating things a male can do besides send $40,000 to Ukraine.
	That's a faux pas.
	Yes, Ikes.
	Yes, Ikes.
	Howard Stern?
	No, no.
	Yeah, Howard Stern was setting up bestiality dates.
	I don't know.
	Like matching people who are into bestiality with the perfect animal for them.
	So that's the range of his past.
	He's probably paid $10 million in fines to the FCC.
	And there he was shitting on Alex Jones.
	And the excuse they always use is Sandy Hook.
	Now, I think he had someone on his show who denied Sandy Hook, and he expressed doubt.
	That became, he insisted Sandy Hook was a lie and encouraged his followers to go to the parents' homes and antagonize them.
	Never happened.
	But more importantly, that controversy, which I don't think he's apologized for, but says he's changed his mind about, that was seven years ago.
	And he was banned post-Trump right in the recent sweeps that happened when I was banned, when Laura Loomer was banned, when everyone else was getting thrown off.
	So it's a lie that it was about Sandy Hook.
	It's really about the fact that they are scared that social media and non-MSM media got Trump elected.
	So Google has gone from do no evil to we can't let him get re-elected.
	And we will ban everyone remotely Trumpian.
	Anyone who makes the left look bad, anyone who doesn't want trans bathrooms has to go.
	And we'll use that under the auspices of Fighting Hate.
	Now I'm learning why people don't drink beer when they're doing a show.
	Because you just said anything?
	I'm become.
	Welcome back to the Foster Brooks Hour.
	You just do anything?
	All right, let's roll the tape.
	It's free speech reality.
	Yes, but that's Fox.
	And Cray Fox News.
	But so you disagree with Fox News?
	I do.
	I disagree with if there's something that we know the Ku Klux Klan was in ideology, and that's different than saying Sandy Hook was, nobody died in Sandy Hook.
	They were actors, and it's a false flag operation, and the government is behind it.
	Just pause.
	Where was he seven years ago when this was happening?
	Why is this now the go-to thing?
	It's like Heather Heyer.
	People go, Antifa's dangerous.
	Oh, yeah, what about Heather Heyer?
	Or the other one with abortion is they always say, well, what if your daughter was raped?
	And she was 14, should she be allowed to abort?
	They have their little go-to's.
	People, mentioning specific people.
	And then those people, and we've seen numerous examples of people who receive that information and they go murder people.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa.
	I believe one guy went to Sandy Hook's parents' house based on assumptions he had made that could loosely be associated with InfoWars.
	Secondly, you want to talk about people murdering people?
	How about all of the violence from the far left based on this myth that there's Nazis everywhere?
	What about the shooting?
	What was that shooting?
	The Antifa one?
	Was that in Ohio?
	Antifa on Antifa?
	No, the Antifa kid who shot up that place in Ohio.
	What about all the suicide victims?
	That kid, what was his name?
	Nathaniel Hose, who committed suicide after working for Antifa and getting involved in Disrupt J20.
	And then when he saw that he was facing felonies, he got so freaked out, he killed himself.
	Counterbets.
	Was the Ohio mass shooting in Antifa terror attack?
	What about that Hispanic dude who shot up the Christian Family Resource Center based on the SPLC calling them a hate group?
	He went there.
	He had brought 20 Chick-fil-A sandwiches because he was going to murder 20 people at this Family Research Council, I think it's called, and then put Chick-fil-A sandwiches in their hand because they're hateful homophobes.
	There, I want you to die with a homophobic sandwich in your hand.
	This was because he saw them on the SPLC list.
	So if we're going to start banning all speech that might lead to a lunatic murdering people, you're going to see a lot of left-wing media, such as the SPLC and the ADL, get completely shut down.
	Or what about this one?
	What about the Antifa lie that that Patriot rally in Philadelphia was just a bunch of, was going to be a celebration of the synagogue shooting, and it was going to be in front of the Jewish Museum.
	So everyone goes nuts, obviously.
	The Jewish Museum says we're open today in defiance of this imminent celebration of a horrific massacre.
	Meanwhile, it was just a bunch of patriots who wanted to...
	But yeah, it's the same myth.
	Well, this was in Philadelphia.
	And it was just a bunch of boomer patriot guys who have the Constitution.
	They dress up like Ben Franklin, and they talk about the Bill of Rights and all this shit.
	Nothing to do with the synagogue.
	And they were attacking people, beating people.
	Two Marines got the shit beaten out of them.
	And the Antifa was calling them wetbacks.
	What about the guy you just mentioned that we didn't get to?
	The guy who went to an ice place, not just to blow up a truck.
	He had rounds and rounds of ammunition.
	He was about to commit a mass murder before he was killed.
	That came from the whole mythical Nazi myth.
	Willem Van Spronsen.
	Willem Van Spronsen.
	So to say that Alex Jones' Sandy Hook debacle leads to numerous examples of people murdering people is patently false.
	And if you want to take that premise and say any speech that causes a crazy person to go do some damage, if you want to make that a rule, you're going to see a lot more left-wing hysteria lead to violence than right-wing hysteria.
	All we have so far with the right-wing hysteria is, remember we quantified the past 14 shootings?
	We should make that a video.
	There was the El Paso guy who was anti-immigration.
	That doesn't mean he's a white supremacist.
	Plenty of Hispanics are anti-immigration.
	Plenty of blacks are anti-immigration.
	There's plenty of white immigrants.
	But anyway, there was the El Paso thing.
	There's Dylan Roof, of course.
	There's a synagogue shooting.
	We can only do the American one because we start using the one in New Zealand.
	We have to include the world.
	And if we include the world, well, that's 90,000 Christians murdered a year.
	And you're going to end up with whatever that is, 225 Christians a day.
	So I would stay away from the world if you want to push your left-wing arguments.
	And we had much more mentally ill shootings and much more Islamic-based shootings, mass murders, with a smattering, maybe three or four, that could possibly be linked to right-wing out of 14.
	David disagrees.
	Censor people.
	And I just want to say, cut you off.
	And you think.
	I think you can censor obvious incendiary lies.
	Our jobs are to educate ourselves as citizens.
	Well, we failed.
	Well, failing.
	But so you're going to say, look, if you say someone could say this thing and then someone goes and kills some people, didn't that Hinkley guy shoot Reagan over Jody Foster or something like that?
	I mean, people commit actions.
	He didn't make anything up on the internet.
	I'm saying, like, you could, look, if you want to say, oh, we should censor lies, well, that begs the question, not the logical term, just it leads to the question: who decides what lies are and what the truth is.
	I'll be looking at the budget.
	I know what a lot of people are.
	I don't know.
	I'm sorry.
	You can clap for that.
	I don't trust you to be the overlord who decides what the truth is, and I don't trust anyone else, the government or any academic.
	Dave's touching on something good here.
	Obviously, Alex was way wrong about Sandy Hook, but I like the concept of conspiracy theories.
	I like people being dubious.
	I like people questioning things.
	Isn't that what scientists do?
	Scientists don't take anything for granted to do it either.
	Like, I think put it out there.
	And by the way, it's the job of us, if we're talking about the job of political satire, if someone puts out something about how they don't believe, like, whatever, Sandy Hook, kids died there, it's our job to make fun of that person until everyone goes, that guy's ridiculous.
	And if there's some crazy things.
	And that's especially true of Holocaust denial.
	When those people just go to jail, like they do in Europe, and we don't hear about it, they don't get ridiculed and their ideas don't get exposed.
	The solution to speech that offends you is not more censorship.
	He said more ridicule.
	He had a really good quote where he said, I'd rather deal with the consequences of freedom than the consequences of censorship or something like that.
	Yes.
	Go ahead.
	Is it over?
	Nope.
	And commits violence.
	The justification for that is the justification to shut down freedom of speech completely because someone could take it the wrong way.
	Someone could take what I'm saying the wrong way, right?
	I don't think he is.
	and I don't even like this guy.
	I'm punching down.
	Let me bring this idea in a much micro way.
	So there is a group of people you're not aware of yet.
	You will become aware of them shortly, but you're not aware of them yet.
	And they, for whatever reason, don't like something you said.
	They make them aware of them.
	You're context.
	Okay.
	I don't know.
	He said I'm aware of them.
	I don't know.
	All right.
	Then they decide they take something out of context, whatever it is.
	Maybe they just manufacture it wholesale.
	That you're a paedophile, that there was a child that you raped, a six-year-old boy that you raped behind a school.
	That was specific.
	Yeah, well, these things.
	No, I'm saying your example gift to me.
	It hit me.
	And then these people, because of their influence and nobody's checking them, because everybody has the right to say whatever they want.
	There's no censorship.
	And now you're out of a job?
	No, there's libel and slander and you get to defend yourself.
	And if you're innocent, that's just a good job.
	Yeah, good luck.
	If Alex Jones has not been, it's been years.
	If Mr. Alex Jones is in court every day and has lost tens of millions of dollars.
	The White House there.
	I can't say what it is.
	Let me finish my point.
	I want to hear it.
	All right.
	Why just him?
	Because he could just be able to do that.
	Can she shut up, please?
	Yeah, cartoon shirt.
	Jesus Christ.
	She reminds me of my mother after a bottle of wine.
	Be a little bit harder, but let her go.
	Girl power.
	It's called pegging.
	Anyway, so.
	By the way, this situation Dave was describing is the situation of any Trump supporter under this present system where they take things we say out of context, they take jokes and make them serious.
	That's why I find it so strange when comedians defend this sort of tyranny.
	Because anyone who wants to be funny should be wary of jokes being taken out of context again and again and again.
	And the whole, you want to talk about someone getting fired based on a rumor.
	Look, I can give you the names of 36 proud boys who have been slandered, accused of being in a hate group because the SBLC said so.
	The same SBLC that almost got people killed at the Family Research Council.
	Based on rumors, based on made-up lies, which is why I am suing them.
	And if someone accuses you of being a pedophile and you lose your job, you should sue them.
	Yeah.
	And this is a wonderful talk on comedy satire.
	But I want to hear, so your life is ruined, maybe to the point to where you're suicidal because your girlfriend or wife leaves you, your family disowns you, all based on lies because we have no censorship at all.
	Anybody is allowed, anybody, an individual, an organization, they're allowed to put out whatever they want.
	How do you feel about it?
	Okay, that sounds like it sucks.
	But let me say this.
	You can always paint a picture of how terrible things could be if we had free speech.
	I mean, you're right.
	I mean, if we had free speech, people could say- If we had free speech, people could say terrible things about me and maybe other people would believe them.
	However, as like the founders said, right, was it Jefferson or one of the others?
	I would rather deal with the problems of too much liberty rather than the issues of too little of it.
	Okay, so you're right.
	I don't.
	This is one thing, though, I wanted to add to that.
	So I guess when I say sue them, if they call you a pedophile and you lose your job, you should sue them.
	I think that stays within the boundaries of the law.
	You can't sue one if they call you a jerk.
	I remember when they first started throwing this word Nazi around, I would send a legal letter every time saying, what the fuck you're talking about?
	Don't call me that.
	And then after a while, my lawyer said, this is losing its oomph and it's hurting my case is.
	And I said, why?
	And he goes, because they've used the word Nazi so much, it now means jerk.
	And it's losing its edge.
	He said, they call Howard Stern.
	They call Donald Trump a white supremacist.
	That doesn't malign Howard.
	Why do I keep calling Donald Trump Howard Stern?
	Whoo-hoo, Robin, friend.
	That, frankly, Donald Trump anymore.
	That just makes the word white supremacist more normal.
	And now people go, oh, Donald Trump's a white supremacist?
	I guess I am too.
	I mean, I voted for him.
	I guess being a white supremacist ain't so bad.
	It is a disaster.
	Okay, you're right.
	It's a disaster.
	But before, I want to sort of defend David for a second and talk about censorship that I do support, which blows even my own mind.
	But before we do, I have to tell you that this episode has been sponsored by Blue Chew.
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	This is why we have free speech.tv where we highly encourage you to come and subscribe because it can't get closed down.
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	Is consuming alcohol against the rules?
	Or Blue Chew, promoting pharmaceuticals?
	Is that somehow a violation of the terms of service?
	Or when we're showing that 90-day fiancé, it's clearly commentary.
	We're not trying to make money off of 90-day fiancé, but is that some sort of, I guarantee you I get a strike for the SNL thing.
	And I'm not showing SNL going, hey man, check out my new hit show, Saturday Night Live.
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	Okay, here's some examples of censorship I have incorporated that are not free speechy.
	When I first started that site Street Carnage, which bombed, after my days at Vice, I had a message comment section and I thought, anything goes.
	Go bananas.
	But I noticed that, and this might be because of censorship, this might be because no one else had that open forum.
	So these sort of mentally ill, alt-right Nazi dudes would get in there and they'd make everything the Jews and the Holocaust.
	And they would make fun of blacks, not as much and not very much Hispanic stuff.
	But they'd call black people Dindus, as in Dind Do Nothing.
	Not really a lot of monkey stuff.
	That's more like older than boomers.
	But a lot of Holocaust shit.
	A lot of Jews were on the media and a lot of the cartoon of the guy like this.
	Those guys would come in.
	Now, they weren't a lot.
	They were maybe 5% or less, maybe even three, right?
	So out of 100 messages, three would have this.
	But that would discourage other people from getting on and commenting.
	And they might argue with them for a bit, and it would go back and forth.
	And they were never rational.
	They were never like, well, my contention is that Judeo values, blah, blah, blah, the Torah says.
	It was never like that.
	It was always like, fuck, get that.
	I can't even say it.
	And so those people wouldn't like go to their house and beat them up.
	They would just go, well, I'm not going there.
	And it would poison the well until it was just those guys.
	And so those three out of 100 would become the only ones there.
	So they'd become 90% of the conversation, but it would be three guys posting 700 times.
	They're fat and they have nothing going on.
	And that would kill the conversation and ruin the whole comments board.
	And it wouldn't be about the article.
	I wanted people to discuss the article because comments in a perfect world say, you got the date wrong.
	And then you can put a correction in there.
	I love the way the New York Times and stuff, they'll just sort of change the headline organically and not say that they change it anymore.
	It used to be you'd show a crossed out sentence and then you have the new sentence and then it would say, this was updated on this date to reflect that this actually happened in Williamsburg, Virginia.
	They don't do that anymore.
	They just change it.
	And I've noticed this as someone who would tell newspapers that you called this group or me or someone a Nazi, a white nationalist, whatever, white supremacist, you're wrong.
	Anti-Semite, you're wrong.
	Fix that.
	And so the more I would argue with them and get lawyer letters, the more I would see it like, change.
	It was like the pictures in Back to the Future.
	They would never say correction made.
	They just alter it.
	And the beauty of doing that, too, is you get to have some incendiary false headline.
	And then we say, change that headline, it's false.
	Everyone's already read the first version, and it's usually stuck in the URL.
	But then when they say their new one.
	You used to say edited and you can see the original, right?
	Yeah.
	Well, as I said, it was crossed out.
	That's a function in Word, right?
	And I assume on WordPress.
	All right.
	So that was me censoring people.
	That was me taking away their free speech.
	But I would argue in that case, this is a club that I started, similar to Proud Boys, where we have tenants.
	And I'm not saying you can't do that out there, but I say I have a Halloween.
	I treat Halloween very seriously at my home.
	And if you don't wear a costume, you don't get candy.
	Sorry.
	And some parents are shocked that I do this, but no, that's not the deal.
	I'm not a candy dispensary.
	Is this San Francisco?
	So I just say, no, that's the deal.
	We set up.
	God, this show isn't turning out to be very funny, is it?
	It's very serious.
	Oh, you're saying what you got to say?
	I got to get it out.
	That was supposed to be a comedy panel, but it turns out serious.
	It's not really a joke because things are getting.
	So with Proud Boys, we said if you're anti-Semitic or you're a racist or you have a problem with Jews or blacks being part of this group, you're not part of the group.
	I don't think that's violating your free speech because the Knights of Columbus say, if you're pro-choice or you're not Catholic, you're not the Knights of Columbus.
	Or the Hell's Angels say, if you're not driving a motorcycle that's more 750cc or over, you're not a Hell's Angel.
	There's no mopeds in the Hell's Angels.
	Now, you're allowed to ride a moped.
	You're allowed to ride a 700cc motorcycle.
	Go bananas.
	You can even wear a vest.
	But it can't say Hell's Angels on it.
	You know what they do for that?
	It used to be they beat the shit out of you.
	Now they enforce the copyright.
	Wow.
	Like the skull's head they own.
	So when Mucinex had the Hell's Angels skull on his vest, the skull head, they sent him a cease and desist.
	Wow.
	What are they going to do?
	Beat up a cartoon?
	He's made a snot.
	Even if you get your hands on him, he's going to get sick.
	He's just blubber.
	Yeah, he'll definitely get sick.
	He actually wants you to beat him up.
	It's like stepping on a roach.
	You spread the eggs.
	And here's it.
	Okay, let me go even farther with this.
	Because anti-Semites seem to be the real problem with free speech.
	Everyone else, they say horrible shit, and they're usually just offensive 13-year-olds.
	But the anti-Semites are pedantic.
	They're tedious and they keep going over it again and again and again.
	And they just ruin conversations because they have this crutch where the Jews are responsible for all their problems.
	And that becomes like a calculator.
	And the next thing you know, you're doing 10 plus 10 on the calculator because it's this crutch that you can't think for yourself.
	Or a lawyer where you have a lawyer help you with something really complex.
	And then the next thing you know, you're calling him and going, hey, I was going to mow my lawn.
	Should I do that?
	No, sir.
	That's too risky.
	So it becomes this go-to thing where, you know, if it rains on your birthday, you blame the Jews.
	And it's kind of what we accuse liberals of doing with black America.
	Everything that goes wrong with black America must be the evil white man, must be racism.
	So you're actually using a crutch while accusing other people of needing a crutch.
	And it's like Mike Cernovich said, he goes, you know what?
	Judaism, the Jews, the Jewish question, I'm happy to talk about that.
	Once a month.
	A normal amount.
	You want to talk about the Holocaust?
	Yes.
	I'll talk about that.
	We'll talk about Armenian genocide.
	We'll have like a genocide day where we'll talk about genocide.
	But the anti-Semites just, they keep, and they ruin conversations.
	So here's where it gets really contentious.
	And the Trad Wright wants to kill me for saying shit like this.
	As my attorney Ron Coleman points out, about five years ago, about 2014, Twitter was a pretty uncomfortable place to be.
	And I think they were right to boot out a lot of these rabid anti-Semites with the Holocaust and the Jew cartoon, every post.
	Not because someone made one joke or someone had a bizarre theory about history and genocide, but because these people are mentally ill for the most part.
	And they just keep, they infect conversations.
	And I noticed with Street Carnage, the comments improved 1,000% when I cut out those freaks.
	And Twitter did, here's the worst part of this whole show, and it's the most unfree speechy thing I'll ever say.
	Twitter did improve with the initial purge of rabid anti-Semites.
	There, I said it.
	Now, if those guys want to have a discussion, rent a hall, and say all that shit, I'm all for it.
	If pedophiles want to present, if Nambla wants to have a parade and then have a large seminar about why babies are sexy and no children are involved, look, I'm not bananas about it.
	And I do want to murder them all one by one, slowly in front of all their friends and relatives.
	But in a free society, you got to take the crunchy with the smooth, I suppose.
	And they should get police escorts and they should be able to say that shit.
	They'd have to make their own floats.
	And that's going to be pretty rough.
	I totally understand if the caterer doesn't want to get involved.
	You shouldn't have to make them chicken fingers and you shouldn't have to bake a gay wedding a cake.
	So you want a foot-long hero of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
	You want the cake in the shape of a diaper?
	But yeah, free speech isn't about, are the Rolling Stones better than the Beatles?
	Because they are.
	But it's about the things that make you uncomfortable.
	However, that doesn't mean that when you have an individual group, you can't cut someone that is just poisoning the well.
	Now, what has happened with social media is they've taken that one reasonable premise, like you can block a stalker because he's terrorizing you because he sexually molested you and he won't leave you alone.
	Something reasonable like that.
	And what happened was the left smelled blood and there was blood in the water and the shark smelled it.
	And so they said, oh, you can get rid of the cartoon Nazi guys.
	Well, let's start calling everyone Nazis.
	And the system will take care of them.
	It's like in McCarthyism.
	We noticed they were burning some witches at the stake.
	Let's call all our enemies witches.
	And that was actually a theory we came up with last week.
	We surmised that I bet a bunch of witches back in the 1500s or whenever it was.
	Actually, I think Salem was much later than that.
	Although we did burn witches in the 1600s.
	But Salem witch trials, I believe, were 1692.
	69.
	Okay, so no.
	As early as America gets, basically.
	First 100 years.
	I bet there was guys that got his mistress pregnant, and she was like, I have to keep the baby.
	Will you be telling your wife what happened?
	And you'll go, This crazy witch just she says she's psycho.
	She seduced me and she's going to kill my family.
	And I saw her like boiling goat ears and shit.
	I'm not a witch.
	I've slept.
	I'm not a witch.
	I'm pregnant.
	Okay.
	She's pregnant.
	Like, what will they think of next, these witches?
	They say crazy shit.
	So I would like to, when I die, you get a thing called Godoogle.
	God gives you a special Google, and you can look up everything in the world, and it just tells you the truth.
	That would rule.
	And there's no weird algorithms to fuck with the facts.
	So you look that up and you go, how many mistresses were innocent and accused of witchcraft?
	And it'll be like, 32%, Mr. McInnis.
	Good guess.
	Can I watch some of those?
	Not the actual burning, but the details where he called her a witch.
	Actually, that would be pretty dark.
	That would be awesome.
	Oh, well.
	I'm not sure I want to comb through history and see the darkest shit imaginable.
	I think if you're in heaven, you're just okay with everything.
	You could see gore and you're just like, yeah.
	So let me make sure I'm done my point here.
	Yeah, they took that premise and they started throwing Nazi at everyone.
	And now, as Dave Smith points out, you have anti-war groups getting shut down because they don't agree with the sort of neocon mainstream media view of wars.
	Or remember when Trump pulls out of Syria and they go, what about the Kurds?
	I love Putin.
	Let the Kurds be.
	You got to get back there and save the Kurds.
	The Kurds and Wei.
	So I guess the crime I'm committing right now is admitting that the initial impetus for censorship did have some merit.
	And that merit was within individual clubs, getting rid of the freaks benefits the club.
	However, they have taken that reasonable premise and used it to mean all conversations, all groups, basically all of society.
	And they've marred innocent people, just like David Cross was saying.
	It's ironic that his analogy actually affects the right much more than the left.
	They tar and feather these random people with this allegation that was based in a reasonable premise.
	And then another thing about more not censorship, if somebody slanders you, then you have the freedom to come back.
	But they do de-platform.
	Yeah, that's another thing, too.
	Good point, Ryan.
	They call you a Nazi or say you did this or say you said that.
	And you're like, that was a joke.
	Here's the context.
	Once you're censored, you can no longer defend yourself.
	And then they can continue this dumb Salem witch trial with no justice.
	I like using the Salem witch trial analogy better than the McCarthyism analogy because McCarthyism was kind of right.
	Communists were infiltrating Hollywood.
	Witches don't exist.
	And racists, white supremacists, of course they exist.
	But so do albino skateboarders.
	It's not a thing.
	So when Tucker Carlson says white supremacy is a hoax, he doesn't mean there isn't one white supremacist in the country.
	He means you'll never meet one.
	They're very fucking rare.
	Like the guy at the bar, when I said, Antifa is just the paramilitary wing of the DNC.
	And he says, well, the right has that too.
	And I go, Antifa shows up at Trump rallies and attacks people.
	And he goes, that's same for Trump.
	And I go, who is beating people up at DNC rallies?
	He goes, the KKK.
	The KKK.
	Like, David bringing up the KKK.
	How many times have you heard?
	I've never heard, like my entire life up to 2016, I'd hear the KKK maybe once a year.
	Post-Trump, you hear it fucking every single conversation.
	What is the KKK?
	Who are they galloping around campuses, throwing nooses everywhere?
	God, it's such a juvenile myth.
	Speaking of juvenile myths, I saw a tweet from Rob Delaney the other day, and he was talking about billionaires.
	And how we talk about how this program will be a problem and this green plan I have and fossil fuels and all these programs and student debt.
	And I have some great ideas, guaranteeing everyone a job.
	All buildings will be eco-friendly.
	I have all these great ideas.
	And then you go, where are you going to get the money?
	I got an answer for you.
	Billionaires.
	So in this tweet, he basically says, well, here, let's move to the green room studio and I will present my case.
	Hello, I'm a multi-millionaire, and as a rich person, I want you to know I'm not paying for your shit, mostly because your shit is way too expensive.
	Unfortunately, we are living in an era where math is dead and entire groups of people are able to convince the country or the West in general that just a handful of billionaires can pay for all these trillion-dollar programs.
	I think it basically comes down to the fact that they don't get that a trillion is a thousand billion.
	That one simple fact has crippled the minds of everyone left of center.
	So I was struck by this tweet that got me thinking.
	It's by Rob Delaney.
	He's like an actor, comedian guy.
	And he says, you cave orders, pour a cup of tea, close your eyes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Open your mind and realize that the billionaires, ooh, I hate billionaires, and their tax dodging companies have trained and numbered you and numbed you to accepting austerity and its attendant stress and misery.
	What?
	You don't need austerity.
	These guys can pay for everything you need.
	Like austerity just means bad stuff.
	So we don't need bad in the world.
	These guys can pay for all the badness to Go away.
	That's literally what he's saying.
	Demand more, fight, dream.
	Okay, I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.
	Rob Delaney is living in Britain now.
	He's American, but he's living in the UK and his son died, I believe.
	So he's very focused on health care.
	So let's just click on this tweet, shall we?
	The one that he's retweeting there.
	All right.
	So, judging by what Rob was saying, these eight billionaires have to pay for British health care, I guess?
	Now, that's Carlos Slim up there in the corner.
	He's a Lebanese guy who lives in Mexico who makes money every time illegals send money back.
	He takes a little cut.
	So he's rich enough to save the New York Times from bankruptcy, where they, of course, quickly write fawning pieces about him.
	Why does this guy have to pay for UK's health care?
	Or like this guy here, he's that luxury brand guy.
	What's his name?
	Bernard Arnaud.
	He owns like Louis Vuitton and everything, a hedge fund guy.
	He lives in France.
	Why is Britain his problem?
	Or then there's this guy, Amancio Ortega.
	He runs Zara, that clothing company.
	European dude.
	Why is he concerned with Britain?
	So I took a step back and I said, all right, let's try to crowbar some sort of a point into just this random like, yeah, there's rich people.
	I don't like bad.
	Hey, rich people, make the bad go away in a country that you don't live in.
	Yeah, I have to cherry-pick billionaires from around the world to solve my problems.
	But let's just for fun create a point for Rob and for the left.
	How is this for a point?
	If you took the America's top eight billionaires, we could pay for AOC's Green New Deal.
	That's what she implies every time she opens her fucking mouth.
	The subtext is, we're too nice to the rich, and if we just tweak them a little more, they could pay for all our shit.
	Now, it's tricky figuring out what exactly is the price of the Green New Deal.
	There's a group called the American Action Forum, and they managed to pull it up to $600,000 per household.
	They said that it estimated the plan could cost $51 to $93 trillion over the next decade.
	They estimated its potential cost at $600,000 per household.
	The organization estimated the cost for eliminating carbon emissions from the transportation system alone was about $1.3 to $2.7 trillion.
	They also said guaranteeing a job for every American would be $44 trillion.
	Anyway, the general concept seems to be $93 trillion.
	Fox Business had another report that they just focused on the Green New Deal.
	And remember, AOC's Green New Deal talks about buildings being environmentally conscious and blah, blah, blah.
	It calls for massive investments, climate-friendly infrastructure, reduce greenhouse gas emissions to zero by 2050.
	Remember, initially she said within 10 years.
	She got in trouble for that.
	So now it's up to 2050.
	It has been estimated that the cost is around $93 trillion.
	Okay, so let's do that.
	Let's estimate AOC's Green New Deal in America.
	Now, I'm not doing the Rob thing where I'm taking billionaires from all over the world and trying to pay for my country.
	I'm saying American billionaires, the top eight, have to pay for AOC's wonderful plan, the Green New Deal.
	Again, a trillion is $1,000 billion.
	So we're talking about $93,000 billion.
	Okay, let's go back to the top richest men in America.
	We have Jeff Bezos at $114 billion.
	Bill Gates at $106 billion.
	Warren Buffett has $80.
	Zuckerberg has 70.
	Larry Ellison has 65.
	Larry Ellison is like one of those hedge fund Bloomberg kind of guys that comes up with a system for stock trading.
	We've got Larry Page at 55.
	Sergey Brin, is he the Yahoo guy or the Google guy?
	Whatever.
	That's 53.
	And then, of course, Michael Bloomberg at 53.4 billion.
	It's funny how almost all these guys are involved in hedge funds and finance stuff.
	If you want to make money, you should be around money, apparently.
	But anyway, okay.
	So let's add all those guys up.
	We have a total with the top eight billionaires, 100% of their wealth gone, bankrupt, goes to AOC, and you get up to 597.8 billion, just shy of 600 billion.
	Now, if you recall, the AOC deal was 93,000 billion.
	93,000, and you only have about 600.
	In other words, you'd need 155 times 100% of America's top eight billionaires to get to 93 trillion.
	All of their wealth combined doesn't make it to 1% of that.
	All of their wealth is 0.64%.
	The billionaires ain't going to save you, dumbass.
	All right, let's get back to Rob Delaney's tweet because I'm going to even take his absurd scenario and see how it pans out.
	He had these random eight dudes, and I assume he wants to pay.
	Let's just say he only wants to pay for UK health care.
	So let's take his maniacal fucking crazy concept and say we're going to amass these eight guys.
	Click on the picture or the other text.
	We're going to take these eight guys and they, for some reason or the goodness of their hearts, are going to completely empty their wealth, train their bank accounts to zero to pay for UK healthcare.
	So we have a lot of these are repeats from the top American ones.
	We have Larry Ellison, we already told you about him, Bill Gates, Carlos Slim, we're adding to the mix at $62 billion.
	We already had Jeff and Mark, Amancio Ortega, $68 billion.
	Bernard Arnaud, $101 billion, and we've already had Warren Buffett, right?
	What do those add up to?
	Those add up to more than the American, just a little bit more.
	Those add up to $668 billion.
	So the eight men you see before you, if we amass all their wealth, they have $668 billion.
	UK healthcare is only $200 billion a year.
	That means that if we randomly plucked the top eight billionaires in the world, we could handle the government's bizarre, mad hatter spending for three fucking years.
	These guys, and then you kill all those companies, all that wealth, all those jobs, all the functions that these companies provide, the luxury brands, they're all gone.
	Everything's done now in order to pay for UK health care for three years.
	You guys tell us we have to worry about the future and the earth might not be around.
	And what about our grandchildren?
	You can't save one program in one country and make it last for three years while amassing the top eight richest men in the entire world.
	You can't make it past 2022.
	What do we do?
	What do we do?
	Tumdrum.
	Tumdrum.
	This hasn't been a very funny show.
	Got serious with that whole David thing.
	Well, there's a two of your friends talking about a very important subject.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Two Daves going at it.
	I've shared a lot of booze with those two Daves.
	A lot of boos.
	That's a bummer, man.
	You know, David and I had this one argument, and it was the only time in my life both sides had all the information and still disagree.
	Yeah, right.
	Because one of my most fundamental beliefs is that we don't disagree.
	I always talk about when at Fox News, that engineer dude came up to me, black guy, and he said, yo, man, look, I appreciate, I don't agree with everything you say, but I like that you got the balls to say it, or something like that.
	I get that a lot.
	And I said to him, wait, wait, what do you disagree with?
	What part do you disagree with?
	Because tell me the facts, maybe I'm wrong.
	But like when I say, outside of art and stuff, like saying this band is the best band, that's obviously just opinion.
	But something like, you know, there were arguably more white slaves brought here than black slaves, especially when you include indentured servitude, 400,000 over 332,000.
	Or there was 10 million slaves taken out of Africa.
	Only 300,000 arrived in America.
	Something like, I think, 4 million went to Brazil.
	Shouldn't South America be taking the brunt of this criticism?
	And didn't we end it with the Civil War?
	Anyway, those are things like, those are my opinions about slavery.
	But if you're like, no, Gavin, it was they didn't have, they didn't take bums off the streets in London, blah, blah, blah, and you've got evidence, then I'm wrong about that.
	So I don't see those as opinions.
	But anyway, David and I did like an eight ball of Coke and drank like a million beers.
	And my argument was free lunches are bullshit.
	A lunch costs $1.25.
	And if you can't get $1.25 together, the kid can drink water from the fountain.
	You just need a bologna sandwich.
	And you got all the nutrients you need.
	He's like, no, we need these free lunches for the poor kids.
	And I go, I understand like poor people need some stuff, but this isn't included.
	And I had done some research on the free lunch program and what a debacle it is and how people who don't need it just take advantage of it.
	And now it's become the free lunch program.
	Like, just go and grab a free lunch.
	And so we went through that and I told him all the research I had done.
	I told him all the facts.
	And then around four in the morning, I go, so that's why I think the free lunch program, though it sounds good on paper, is a pile of shit.
	And he goes, I disagree.
	And he wasn't uninformed.
	That is weird.
	That's the only time.
	I'm not saying, by the way, that I was right and he was wrong.
	I'm not saying that.
	I'm saying I've never been to a place where we all had all the information and there was still a disagreement.
	Like, for example, Michelle Malkin thinks the Central Park Five were innocent.
	And Coulter says they're not innocent.
	I've gone down the rabbit hole on that.
	It's fucking horrific.
	Those guys were out braining people with pipes that night.
	They were, what's it called?
	Wilding?
	Wilding out.
	They were wilding.
	And that's what they did back then.
	And they had five different handprints on her body.
	Go down that hole and look at Ann Coulter's side.
	But I deeply respect Michelle Malkin.
	And she said, no, you got to see their testimonials.
	They're being forced.
	I don't know a conservative that believes that, especially people who are informed about the case.
	Michelle Malkin's totally informed about the case.
	She knows, you know what the problem with this episode might be?
	I took my kids boxing tonight.
	And whenever I do that, I'm with a fellow boxing dad.
	And we always talk about serious shit like free speech and stuff.
	And even though he's a funny guy, we get in this kind of talk about Google changing the algorithms and how it's digital book burning.
	And that sort of sets my tone.
	You know, the people you can get like the funniest with, you could probably get the most real with too at the same time.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Well, the thing about dads is, no offense, we've both been through, like, we're both on the other side.
	And I don't fault you for not being on the other side.
	You're only 30.
	But when someone's on the other side and you see like guys your age who don't have kids, as my friend Tommy said, get your shit together.
	Yeah.
	What the fuck are you doing?
	Anyway, I'm sorry.
	I didn't finish my original thought there.
	So my boxing dad buddy gets me in these zones.
	But when Michelle said that to me, I thought, if I could lock me and Coulter and Michelle Malkin in a room, a library with tons of internet access and law books, and of course I hate where your mind goes.
	I'm very disappointed in you, by the way.
	I feel like we would all walk out of that room going, and be on the exact same page.
	Because Michelle would show Ann their testimonials and Ann would point out that they said, I took her Walkman, that was it, and the cops didn't even know there was a Walkman.
	So now that puts them on the scene.
	Bloomberg refused to give them the money.
	De Blasio did because he's a fucking stoner.
	But yeah.
	But David, anyway, the reason I disrobed was A, to show you how fucking fat I'm getting.
	I've been taking these drugs, chlorofimmil or something, and it encourages your balls to make more testosterone because I'm sick of working out and not getting ripped.
	I don't want to take testosterone or steroids or anything.
	And I think it might be affecting my brain a little bit, but I seem to be getting way Fatter.
	My wife says it's because I drink 200 beers a night.
	I think she's wrong.
	But here's another reason I took off my clothes.
	This is a mystery I cannot fucking explain, and I've asked 8 million people about this.
	I need to know the answer too.
	Thank you.
	You can see my shirts are custom-made by Nita fashions.
	But more importantly, what is that?
	I'm looking it up right now.
	What is that?
	Dirt.
	I should mention that my kids are totally disgusted by my nipples.
	Oh my god, is my gut hang?
	Look at that.
	Yeah, it's a winter gut.
	I have like a woman who's had six kids' gut, but she's still in good shape.
	That's a winter gut.
	I have been drinking beer all night.
	But I don't get, One, I don't get how loud farts are.
	They're like, they're really fucking loud.
	It seems like your asshole is very tight.
	It's very, it's a loud horn.
	And secondly, I don't get why your collar gets so filthy.
	I bathe regularly.
	I have a shower, at least a shower every two days.
	And I could wear white jeans the whole summer.
	They wouldn't look that disgusting.
	Ryan was saying, well, you sweat a lot.
	Yeah, my armpits sweat.
	They're gross.
	I wear a white t-shirt like five times to the gym.
	The worst case scenario after years is it gets a slight yellow stain here.
	But like, look at the rest of the shirt.
	The wrists.
	The wrists are a little dirty, I guess.
	Maybe because it's the contact and the swishing.
	Oh, that's not the worst idea in the world.
	Because it actually rotates around it.
	Because I'm going like this.
	Yeah.
	So it's almost like, you know how when you rub your hands like that, you get that dead skin?
	There'll be something on that.
	Oh, I think you just solved it, Retard.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	That's what it is.
	Yeah, because the elbows achieve.
	Why are you looking up, why do my testicles ache?
	Oh, Jesus.
	Yeah.
	No, no, no.
	That was the next question.
	Oh, no.
	Ryan's got sore balls.
	Let's call him soreballs from now on.
	Kevin Soreballs, Star of Hercules.
	That's what it is, dude.
	You finally solved it for me.
	I'm sitting here like this all day.
	And if I did that to any part of my body, if you take a white piece of cotton and you go on your shoulder blade for like eight hours, you're going to have a big dirty neck.
	My dry cleaner didn't tell me that.
	I asked her and she's like, oh, Mr. Gavin, I don't know.
	He's maybe dirty.
	It's a woman, right?
	Yes.
	He doesn't have to wear collared shirts.
	He doesn't know.
	I know, but she's been in the profession for, judging by the way she looks, 78 years.
	Your shirt's like a kitchen and you're...
	Okay.
	See what I'm saying?
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	By the way, I am betting on what do we got this weekend?
	Anthony Joshua and Ruiz, the Snickers guy.
	Remember the guy that knocked out that Muslim?
	Andy Ruiz?
	Is that the Snickers guy?
	Yeah.
	He kept getting beat the whole fight.
	Everyone at the gym after that fight were like, guess I'm not working on my core anymore.
	I guess it don't matter.
	He needs Snickers, dude.
	What's his name?
	You got it right.
	Andy Ruiz.
	Andy Ruiz.
	Andy Ruiz Jr.
	I'm betting on Andy Ruiz.
	I like him.
	He's funny.
	Yeah, but this guy's got heavy.
	He was going to be sponsored by Snickers.
	This guy's got tunes in his ear.
	Yeah, Anthony Joshua I'm not a fan of.
	I don't like British people in boxing.
	I don't know why.
	I guess because they were dicks to Larry Barnes at that other fight with Anthony Joshua.
	And they spilled beer on him, I think, on purpose.
	Get out of here.
	Just a little bit.
	What?
	They were fucking wasted.
	That's shitty.
	They partied a little too hard, the Brits.
	Do they recognize him?
	We were in, like, boxer seats.
	Dang, man.
	And he was posing with some girls.
	Isn't it weird when girls are boxing groupies?
	Yeah, that is weird.
	Like, female sports fans.
	Like, they're out there.
	Oh, yeah, but the thing about female sports fans is they grew up watching the football with their dad and their brothers and stuff, and it became a big family event.
	I get that, but what, were you watching boxing with your dad?
	That's true.
	Wow, we're going way over today.
	All right, we've covered a lot of stuff.
	I'm glad we got the ring around the collar problem solved.
	I feel so much more comfortable now because I was kind of self-conscious.
	I was like, am I known as Dirty Neck McInnes?
	I don't know if I can.
	I gotta wash my neck more.
	That was your stupid theory.
	Maybe we need to wash our necks more.
	All I wash in the shower is crotch, Balls, foreskin, butthole, sort of the taint.
	What is that?
	The second verse: the head, shoulders, knees, and toes.
	Finally, he's funny.
	An hour and 20 minutes in.
	I'm just relaxing.
	Just warming up.
	And did you have that beer?
	I did.
	Oh, that's what it is.
	Yeah.
	Because you're Japanese, so it's something so crazy.
	It's really crazy.
	When you, Rayan, when you have one beer, it's like you have a whole case of Sapporo.
	I do have whiskey in studio, too, but I'm stopping myself.
	Yeah, so I do the diaper area and then the armpits.
	What else are you going to do?
	I don't know.
	Your feet.
	Wait, you knew it.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Why would you wash your feet?
	Your socks are there.
	They absorb any problems, and you put them in the dirty laundry.
	I put all socks, underwear, and t-shirts in the dirty laundry every day.
	So they've already been sort of washing me.
	I like to keep my feet all clean.
	I kind of want to make this whole show free.
	So now we're at a cross-curricular.
	Especially because I'm about to be kicked off YouTube.
	So do we put up the number?
	Because then all the non-subscribing peons can get access to it.
	Ew.
	And then call us whenever we please.
	Ew!
	Yeah, we might as well.
	So then when we put this up on YouTube, they'll see our number.
	I could just blank it out.
	You could do that.
	Or if we're not doing live, we don't care if they call us because we won't be answering.
	But if they know the schedule, and if they call us when it's a schedule, I don't really care.
	Okay.
	We're at a good number of subscribers now.
	15K.
	True, dude.
	I feel good about that.
	So we got the calls all set up.
	We already have a couple.
	Let's talk to them.
	Mike's talking about Scary Perry.
	Is this true, sir?
	Okay.
	Hey, Mike, you there?
	That is great.
	I am there.
	You're our first call.
	Is there a weird echo or anything?
	Yes.
	As per usual.
	But I...
	They're going to say what's on their mind.
	It's so awesome.
	I like this time.
	Okay, done.
	I'll always do the show live Thursday nights.
	What I wanted to ask you about...
	What I wanted to ask about was with Perry, you're in the news a lot.
	Has he seen you as not whatever your character was?
	I can't remember the name.
	William Randolph Hearst III.
	Yeah, that's a great question.
	That's a great question, sir.
	And we'll just illuminate, elucidate to the audience what is going on here.
	There is a quarter-century prank called the Perry Project, wherein a douche named Scary Perry, Perry Caravello, was addicted to a comedian named Simply Don Barris in the early 90s.
	And Don decided to fuck with him for the rest of his life.
	So they made a movie.
	They would tell him he's in this and he's in that and he wasn't.
	And eventually this culminated in a movie produced by Jimmy Kimmel that was called Windy City Heat, which I think is definitely the top five greatest movies of all time.
	It's up there with Animal House.
	And it's just them convincing him that he's in a movie where he's a sports detective and he's not.
	And they just keep fucking him over.
	Now, I have had a lot of work in the Perry project, and I've spent a lot of time with Perry.
	In fact, I went to his house and I pissed all over his bathroom towels.
	Was he happy about it?
	He stole a bunch of shit from his house, by the way.
	He has these filing cabinets where he keeps every piece of junk mail.
	So all his credit card offers are alphabetized and sitting there.
	Like all the junk he gets in the mail is all organized.
	And then I took it home and I stole a bunch of his shit.
	I'm not a good person, but neither is he.
	And so I was called William Randolph Hearst.
	I'm answering your question in a very slow way.
	I was called William Randolph Hearst, and then he looked up William Randolph Hearst and saw it was a real person.
	And he said, what the F, Gavin?
	I mean, sorry, Don and Mole.
	William Randolph Hearst is from a long time ago, and he's dead.
	And then they go, it's his great-grandson, you fucking idiot.
	So it morphs again.
	Or every time they come across something, every time I feel bad saying this on public YouTube, but Don and Mole can handle anything.
	No matter what happens.
	I'm reluctant to tell this big story.
	Okay, I'm going to tell it.
	I'm not sure the project could be jeopardized at all at this point.
	It's kind of over, isn't it?
	I mean, is it really still going?
	Yeah, what's he going to do?
	Like, does he watch stuff?
	Anyway, fuck it.
	I want to have some fun.
	So after this movie came out, the lawyer said he could sue us.
	He could, and not just him, but the Caravello family could sue Jimmy Kimmel and everyone.
	This could be really bad for us.
	So they go, you need him to sign a release saying, I know that this movie was a prank, and I'm okay with it.
	So they take him out for dinner and they go, we got a problem.
	What?
	Where's the movie, by the way?
	I did this movie, and all you have is like a making of, but the actual movie doesn't exist.
	I'm like De Niro, baby.
	And they go, here's the problem.
	These pranks are getting big now with people.
	I was right down the street from his house when I made that.
	These pranks are getting big with people, so they want to have, they say, to tease the movie, let's make it like pretend the whole thing was a prank, like Jackass.
	And Johnny Knoxville, I got him involved in the whole Perry project.
	And there was a, oh my God, this is almost a thing.
	Now I'm getting back into the spider hole.
	They were going to have Johnny Knoxville play Scary Perry in Windy CD Heat 2.
	And then for revenge, Perry Caravello was going to play Johnny Knoxville in Jackass, whatever it was going to be then, three or something, which meant that they were going to do shit.
	Just crazy, insane.
	Like gay stuff.
	Yeah.
	I was going to say shit.
	That's why I said shtuff.
	They were going to do gay shit.
	Like, oh, we were going to have Johnny Knoxville go to a gay bar and fuck a dude.
	Why don't you do it?
	And he's like, okay, this is kind of not really what I'm into.
	Like over-the-top horrible shit.
	I really wish that happened.
	Like fight a donkey.
	I don't know what they had up their sleeve, but it was going to be super dangerous, super intense.
	There I am at his house at 7722 Reseda Boulevard.
	I was still, that's the same body I had before, and I've been working out an hour and a half a day.
	Sometime this week.
	Anyway, sorry.
	So if you're still listening, caller, are you still there?
	Yeah, I'm still here.
	Okay.
	And I also wanted to start.
	Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
	Wait, I have to explain this.
	So they say we have to make it like a prank.
	So they sit down with the contract, and then Mole grabs the contract, and he goes, wait a minute, I'm the star of the show.
	So let's say the whole thing is a prank on me.
	I'm going to sign it.
	And then Don grabs the contract from Mole and he goes, hey, shithead, I'm the star of the show.
	It's going to be a huge joke on me.
	The movie was a prank on me, so I'm going to sign it.
	And Perry's like, slow down, boys.
	Nice try.
	The movie was me.
	I'm the star.
	It's a giant prank on me.
	Perry Caravello handled.
	So, like, he could watch this episode and they'd save it.
	That's what a fucking dunce this guy is.
	And that's how badly he wants to be famous.
	Anything else, Mike?
	can we get him on the show?
	Can you...
	I probably could.
	I mean, I fought him before.
	You know what was funny about our fight?
	He kept working out with his legs and nothing else, and he did end up kicking me down some stairs.
	So it worked.
	Yeah, I guess I could get him on the show.
	I have a weird relationship with the Perry Project where it's like crack cocaine to me.
	And, you know, it takes over my life.
	I've lost jobs because I was working with the Perry Project.
	I kind of got consumed by it.
	There I am leaving Jennifer Aniston's house to go hang out with Scary Perry.
	Involved with that.
	I was trying to tell all my co-workers about it, and I was like, hey, you have to watch this movie.
	You have to watch this.
	And you're exactly right with what you're talking about.
	You either love it or you're not into it at all.
	Well, women don't like it.
	Men like it.
	You have to have an ounce of cruelty in your body.
	So I find women don't like humor that is mean-spirited and men do.
	Like Jimmy Kimmel loved it.
	His girlfriend was Sarah Silverman.
	She didn't like it.
	You have to be a little malicious.
	Now, I think they chose the right target.
	This guy's a racist, homophobe, selfish piece of shit.
	He would happily watch you drown.
	He'd happily watch his mother drown if it helped him get on a reality TV show.
	So he's worthy of this scorn, but a lot of chicks don't enjoy it.
	That was a fun night.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, buddy.
	The podcast is just the best.
	Thank you so much.
	I like you more than a friend.
	Thank you for calling.
	Bye.
	And if you want to get people on the Perry Project train, just tell them to watch Windy City Heat.
	It sets up everything.
	The beginning of the movie, which is free on YouTube, sets up the whole background.
	We got Jimmy talking about the echo.
	What's up, Jimmy?
	Not too much, my brother.
	Did we solve the echo?
	I want to apologize for a couple of weeks ago, man.
	Between the echo and my bad cell, I'll make for an abortion of a call.
	So I don't want to apologize for that.
	But I forgive you.
	Brother, I wanted to know, is 10 things going to go back up?
	I saw you and Es were talking about it.
	And man, I can't find it anywhere.
	And people are so misinformed as to what is in it.
	I wish I could just point to it.
	And I'm stealing your content like mad, like you suggested off YouTube, just in case December 10th goes hits and all the conservative talking heads are gone and propagating it quite a bit on some platforms.
	But dude, I'd love a short interview with you on my show.
	If you date me for 20 minutes or more, I'd love it, man.
	Small channel, but maybe the spike in subs that I've seen the last 10 days or something partially, I got you to thank for that.
	So I love your show.
	Very entertaining.
	I'm not going to kiss your ass too much, but I heard some criticism of you banging on your producer or co-host.
	I think you generously referred to him as that.
	And I think he deserves it.
	I love it, man.
	It makes the show for me.
	And I love the deadpan shut up that comes over every once in a while.
	I say, ride that dirty Ryan dry.
	And not because I dislike him.
	In fact, the opposite.
	But you know what?
	The JFC makes me cringe, man.
	I don't know.
	I thought you said you're a Catholic boy.
	Stop bastardizing the Lord's name, would you?
	And you know what I am interested in?
	Not very godly.
	I'd love to hear some Coke war stories, man.
	For those, you know, weekend warriors that have hung up our blades.
	We'd like to live through your legend, man.
	The ugliest wrecks to the most hilarious.
	If you can get into something like that, give us the dirt, G. I like you more than a friend.
	If I'm out.
	Wow, that guy really had his to-do list pre-written, right?
	He hit a real fuck it bucket list.
	Yeah.
	I feel like if I raise my hand, you'd be like, 2, 25, going to the man on the plant shirt, man in the plant shirt.
	Anybody else, anybody else's?
	I want to get through there.
	I guess I'll go on your show, sure.
	Nice.
	I abuse Ryan because I love him and want to make him better, and his mistakes are frustrating because they're easily solved.
	I'm mostly trying to get him to listen.
	Like when I said the Merry Christmas thing isn't going to work out, he's like, yes, it will.
	And then it falls, and he goes, well, that's because I had to rush.
	Now, what I'm trying to do there is make him understand that he made a mistake and not to make an excuse after, but to go, maybe when Gavin says that's not going to work, he's right.
	Especially when it comes to relationships with women.
	How dare you!
	That guy's my spirit animal.
	But, yeah, what was that guy talking about?
	That he loves the podcast relationship.
	Oh, he doesn't like the JFC, the G is F-ing.
	Okay, so I'll try to tone that down a little bit.
	Yep.
	And then Coke War stories, talking about Coke.
	I got a million Coke stories.
	Hell yeah, me too, man.
	One of my favorite stories is actually not a negative thing.
	I've told this a million times, so feel free to go get a sandwich if you've heard this.
	But I had a place in Costa Rica that was just a party town, and it was called Montezuma, Costa Rica.
	It was nicknamed Montefuma, Coca-Colica.
	Coast Guard was chasing these drug dealers in the water, and they're throwing all their coke overboard.
	And the coke is wrapped in bag and a bag and a bag and a bag.
	Duct tape.
	Goes off the side.
	It's floating along, this big sort of a square.
	And some Costa Rican fishermen, Costa Ricans are pretty useless.
	We call them ticos, and they don't really have food.
	Like there's no such thing as Costa Rican cuisine.
	They just fish and sit in the sun all day.
	I mean, if that's what you're into, that's great.
	But there's no such thing as Costa Rican culture, I'm afraid.
	And this whole thing about like environmentalist Costa Rica and virotourism, that was created by Europeans.
	They just chose Costa Rica.
	And I think the CIA chose it as a good place to retire.
	So crime is reasonable.
	It's not like the rest of Central America.
	Anyway, so this fisherman finds it and he takes it to his little son and he says, hey, Enrique, this is good, right?
	That white man like this?
	And his son goes, yeah, that's a million dollars.
	Thank you.
	So he gets it and obviously to transport it, I don't think they cut it first because it's, you know, density.
	So the son, he's a fisherman's kid in what's it called?
	Malpais, which means shitty country.
	Oh, yeah.
	So he's like, I'm not going to cut it.
	I don't know how to, what am I going to do?
	I can't even get, like, they don't have baby powder down there.
	Scorpion will sting your baby.
	I had a house there for 10 years and I never brought my kids once because I didn't want, there's so much vermin around there.
	And getting stung by a scorpion, it feels like someone took a poker out of the fire and just went through your foot.
	And then your hands and feet have pins and needles for two days and your lips go numb.
	They're fucking savage beasts.
	They're literally prehistoric.
	I mean, before like the dinosaurs, we had scorpions that were the size of this building just whipping around, grabbing shit.
	Sheesh.
	Anyway, so he starts selling these bags.
	And the 20 bag there was usually pretty stepped on, shitty, whatever.
	You'd do a couple bumps and you had to put it on a plate in the microwave to dry it out because it's so humid down there that it would just be sludge.
	So this year, we get that stuff.
	I'm a young man at the time.
	And we put it in the microwave or you put it on a plate on a stove and make this plate hot and then it goes back to dry.
	And you would do it and go to bed.
	That's how clean.
	High as a kite, but you could go to bed.
	You would do it, have all the cocaine feelings, make love to your significant other with a coconut smasher.
	You could do it.
	And be good at it, if you will.
	And then eat a large breakfast with a burrito and go out and live your life.
	Unbelievable.
	So it made me think that it's possible that drugs aren't necessarily bad for you.
	It's the way we get them at the end.
	Maybe heroin, like from the poppy, maybe that's why Keith Richards is still alive because his heroin is uncut.
	Maybe drugs without withdrawal symptoms aren't bad for you.
	I'm not encouraging people to do drugs, by the way, because you're never going to get that again.
	You're never going to get that fisherman shit.
	It was kind of rainbow-colored fish scaling.
	I've heard that before, yeah.
	He doesn't do anything.
	After you've experienced that, why do drugs anymore?
	Yeah.
	We got Connor.
	What's up, Connor?
	Connor, are you there?
	Hey.
	I'm here.
	I was calling to say I like this time of night, too, because I had to be drunk just to get the nerve to call in.
	But I was calling to say, not even really a question, but I've heard you talk before about getting married really young.
	That's a good thing to do.
	And I'm 30.
	I got married when I was 18.
	My wife was 17.
	And it worked out pretty well.
	I got the six-year-old boy.
	I still did a shitload of drugs and got my drinking and stuff out of the way.
	But all the friends in high school, all the people I knew told me I was an idiot, told me I was stupid.
	Don't get married that young man.
	You're missing out on so much pussy.
	You know, all that stuff.
	Wait, why do you only have one six-year-old?
	You should have a fucking brood by now.
	Man, you guys sound like you're on the other side of the room.
	I can't hear nothing.
	Are you using your speaker, Ryan?
	Well, why don't you talk to me?
	Why don't you have a lot of kids by now?
	A whole brood.
	Ah, because my old lady got super sick after the first one.
	And so that was the end of that.
	They're like almost almost dead kind of thing.
	Oh, shit.
	But yeah, so it's not a question.
	It's just really it's okay to get married young.
	I did it.
	I'm super happy.
	All the guys that I know that told me not to do it are kind of losers by now.
	So yeah, get your shit together.
	Congratulations, buddy.
	That's awesome.
	Yeah, we had a guy like that.
	Thanks for calling.
	We had a guy like that in high school.
	And Dale Aiken was his name.
	And he got some chick pregnant when he was 18.
	What the fuck have you done, Dale?
	You loser?
	Get her to get an abortion.
	That's the logical thing.
	Everyone gets abortions.
	They're cool.
	And he's like, no.
	Kept it.
	It's probably totally happy.
	Married her, had another one.
	Dude, his son is one of the coolest guys I've ever met, and he's a man.
	Nice.
	So me and Dale and his son can go drink some beers.
	And I'm with a guy that was my best pal when I was eight, and now I'm with his son, and we're all the same age.
	That's crazy.
	His son is, whatever, 49.
	His son's 30.
	31-year-old dude.
	So that's the other cool thing about having kids young is you have this bro who's only 18 years younger than you or 20 years younger than you.
	I want kids like tomorrow.
	Yeah, you would have a cool 18-year-old son right now.
	Wait, that's not right.
	By what age?
	No, you'd have a teenager.
	Plus you're Puerto Rican.
	It's too late for me already.
	It's not too late to have him.
	All right, we have Scotty Blanton.
	Good old Scotty.
	Hi, Scott.
	I'm sorry, go ahead.
	So I had a quick, two quick things real quick.
	One, I was the guy that sent in the Jaws Photoshop of Rob Schneider.
	And Gavin, you said it was the worst Photoshop you've ever seen.
	Yeah.
	How dare you?
	How dare you?
	I did that in between clients.
	Just a real quick thing.
	I thought it would be funny.
	Anyway, a question I had about was your buddy Owen.
	Are you still in contact with him?
	And do you really think he thinks the Earth is like flat and you've never been to space and space isn't real and shit?
	Do you really think he believes that?
	Yeah, I think he does.
	And I don't have a problem with that.
	I like people questioning stuff.
	So it does sound fucking mental to me to think the Earth is flat and we haven't been to space.
	But a lot of things sounded mental to me.
	And then I looked them up and they turned out to be true.
	true I think it I thought it was mental that Hillary Clinton has had people killed I believe she has I thought it was mental that George Bush George W. Bush may have known that the planes were going to hit the World Trade Center now I don't think that's so crazy so it's it's healthy to have people like Owen around and if they want to go off at what appears to me to be a tangent then let them that's healthy but uh yeah he's you know that guy's been fucking terrorized chased
	out of everywhere he goes and physically chased across the country.
	And for what?
	For having weird theories?
	Why are people threatened by a theory?
	I understand if, like, you're a pedophile activist and you've successfully recruited kids.
	Yeah, we've got to catch this fucker.
	But when someone has a feeling about a theory about the shape of the fucking earth?
	Now, his anti-Semitic stuff, I can't vouch for.
	I haven't listened to every single thing he said about Jews, so I don't want to start saying everything he's ever said is perfectly defendable.
	So we'd have to do that case by case.
	But, you know, I don't have time.
	I don't have time to parse through everyone's statements.
	And then real quick before I let you go, I had an idea.
	I thought maybe you guys would maybe think it's cool.
	You guys, I think you guys should do sound bites of you guys.
	I think Ryan can have some drops of you guys saying things as well because your video drops are fucking hilarious.
	I love them.
	But do you guys ever think about doing, like, drops of your own?
	Of your own self?
	I'm beyond angry.
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	Thanks for calling, dude.
	These are all great tips.
	That would be cool.
	But it's kind of megalomaniacal.
	It would have to be something that we didn't do on purpose.
	Like, say, you fell.
	Or, like, I genuinely lost my temper and wasn't even 1% kidding.
	If you're looking, if you're like, you better have that pulled up and I don't, it's you just shaking with fury from a different tape.
	But not in a joke.
	It would have to be one of the few times that I'm not even remotely kidding.
	Right, right, right.
	Or dropping something or something like that.
	Or out of context.
	Can't be brought a beer, dude.
	That's such a bummer.
	It truly is a bummer.
	Hey, it's Mark.
	Let me ask you something, sir.
	What do we call you guys?
	Like, what do we call a private, a grunt, a jarhead?
	Oh, we're all grunts.
	Jarheads are Marines.
	I'm in the Army.
	Okay, so when we say, my buddy, like, the Halifax Five, the Proud Boys who all got fired for daring to question treason on Canada Day.
	Do I say there was four guys, they were...
	Servicemen.
	Servicemen?
	That sounds kind of formal.
	That's pretty civilian of you, yeah.
	So what do you say?
	I mean, just...
	I mean, that works.
	Infantrymen?
	What if they were four Navy and one Army?
	Oh.
	That's when you would want to just say servicemen if you didn't want to do it.
	But yeah, like, so Marines are like devil dogs.
	Army dudes are grunts.
	Navy is squids.
	And airmen are pussies.
	All right.
	What do you got for us?
	Oh, we love them.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, no, I've just been in the business of, like, forging men for, like, 16 years now.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So, like, mentorship.
	I create men.
	Like, these dudes come to me, they're young dudes, like, 19, 18, 20.
	They got no idea anymore what's going on.
	And just influencing them and stuff like that.
	I've already been in this business, man.
	And I fell in love with, you know, your content and everything and watching you because of that.
	Yeah, you know what I've noticed?
	I've noticed from young men more and more, and this goes back to the early 90s, I've been dealing with, you know, young men approaching Vice and...
	and and my bands or whatever but one thing i've noticed in the past five to ten years more than ever is young men With absolutely no direction whatsoever.
	Like, who can't make spaghetti?
	And their dad is not around, their mom was barely around.
	And when I say something silly, like you can only cry at Clint Eastwood movies and you shouldn't wear flip-flops, they gobble it up.
	Not because they're looking for a leader or they want to be a follower, but just because they've never heard any parameters before.
	It's almost like they've never, you know, celebrated a holiday like Christmas or Halloween or something.
	And you say, oh, this is Halloween.
	You dress up like a monster and you get candy.
	They go, oh, shit, really?
	How do you carry the candy?
	Oh, it's in like a pillowcase or something.
	Oh, cool.
	Like, they're fucking lost.
	Well, it's affecting young ladies nowadays, too.
	I'm starting to notice.
	I've been worried about young men for 16 years.
	It's starting to affect a young lady.
	They don't even get it.
	They don't even know what to expect in a man.
	So, I don't know.
	We're in trouble, man.
	We've got to fix it.
	And the Proud Boys and all that stuff, man, that's the kind of thing that does it.
	Well, we started Proud Boys to address this issue.
	It was great stuff, man.
	It was based on our producer, Ben Ratner, being a 24-year-old virgin and not remotely worried about it.
	And we started coming up with these ideas to help him get laid besides going to Disneyland with female friends and not trying to fuck them.
	And the state threw us in prison for eight years.
	I could be in the same position.
	My wife, right here.
	She's with me.
	She's listening.
	She's all excited.
	And she wanted me.
	She's like, that's awesome, dude.
	You love that stuff.
	I was like, Cow Girls, yeah.
	It's like, Cloudboy's girls.
	Yeah, she was encouraging me to join.
	I haven't actually joined any chapter because I kind of saw it going that way.
	Yeah, well, you would get fired.
	I mean, we just had a guy, Department of Home Security, who was fired for Googling it.
	I still wear a Plowboy's bracelet and everything.
	And, you know, the number guy.
	Like, the only thing he wears is tactical watch and his Prowboy's bracelet.
	And like the background of my phone's the rooster and the symbol and everything.
	You know what I mean?
	But have anybody ever noticed that?
	I'm running a risk, honestly.
	You really are.
	You're running a risk of getting fired.
	Cops have fired galore.
	And when, you know, these cops and these military servicemen get fired, they lose their security clearance.
	They lose their entire career.
	This one cop I know in Louisiana who got fired for daring to be the member of a patriotic men's club is now taking HVAC.
	He has to give up on his entire cop career.
	Completely.
	And he was a fucking amazing cop.
	The DHS guy who just got fired was working on programs to prevent the next mass shooting.
	So developing algorithms that look up like, fuck the world.
	I'm going to shoot up.
	I got a gun.
	I can't wait to kill these people.
	You know, various combinations.
	So they go through what these guys said before they did it and see if they could glean patterns.
	Nope, fired.
	Get him out of here.
	Yeah.
	Hero to zero because he wanted to have a little bit of fun.
	That's it.
	Well spoken.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, dude.
	Thank you for your service, too.
	Thank you, sir.
	Cheers.
	Cheers.
	Uru.
	Remember that guy called in and said, if you're so patriotic, why don't you join the fucking army?
	You say that you love this country and you don't join the army?
	Yeah, I'm not brave enough.
	Yeah.
	If anybody could do it, it wouldn't be special that you're doing it.
	If you like boxing so much, why don't you fucking step in a ring professionally and fight a heavyweight?
	Because I'm not good enough.
	Although I did fuck you up, Tommy Morello, if you're watching.
	Okay, you won.
	But I did get that overhand right.
	The overhand right is a magic punch.
	Because they don't expect it.
	And it's like you're down here and they think, oh, he's going to, he might try an uppercut.
	And then a meteor falls from the sky and bonks you in the head.
	Bonk.
	And he didn't say good job.
	To be clear, I am joking, Tom.
	I know you can beat the shit out of me.
	Please don't take this out on me in the ring.
	All I'm saying is out of the 10 times you got me, I did get some one or two in.
	And I'm pretty happy with them.
	Next, we got Jordan calling about my room.
	What?
	Hi.
	Hi.
	This is Jordan Peterson.
	Oh.
	Hello, Jordan.
	Hi, Ryan.
	How are you?
	Doing good, sir.
	Thanks for calling.
	You know, you know, I was at your mom's house last night, and, you know, she has a certain proclivity to do this thing with her tongue.
	You're talking about sex.
	You know what I'm talking about?
	Look, we've had this happen a million times.
	Emo Phillips keeps calling the show as Jordan Peterson.
	Emo, that's enough.
	We've had enough of you calling the show.
	We have Jordan Peterson sitting right here with us.
	I was in her last night.
	No, you weren't.
	I was walking back to your room.
	I was with you.
	And I'm going, oh my God, you need to clean your bloody room.
	No, I didn't see that coming at all.
	That's a real big shock.
	Not psych?
	Real big.
	It was a real big shock.
	She was upset.
	But anyways, fucking thanks.
	Thanks for calling.
	It's completely lost.
	You did too much raspy.
	Like, I'm no Jordan Peterson expert.
	You need to clean your room.
	He does have a little bit of rock.
	But he had too much.
	You had to clean your room.
	It was too raspy.
	It was Yoda.
	Do your Jordan Peterson.
	Show him how it's done.
	Room you have to clean.
	That's my Yoda Peterson.
	You have to clean your room.
	That's the bottom line.
	There's a lot of young men out there that are.
	Now I can't think about mine because the RASP.
	He's phonetically clean.
	There's no RASP.
	Yeah, there's a little dirt.
	By the way, we should talk about Johnny Apple CBD before we go.
	I use Johnny Apple CDB every day.
	Johnny Apple CBD helps me recover from all my boxing workouts.
	You put it in.
	I don't like leg workouts.
	I feel like I could lift 9 billion weights.
	And the next day, if you're sore, it's not really that bad.
	But when you do leg stuff, and you're walking down the stairs like Robert De Niro and the Irishman.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	Basically, Jerry Stiller.
	Oh, oh, oh, oh.
	Like the grape lady.
	Even sitting on the...
	Oh, oh, oh, oh.
	Oh, I got to write that down in my favorite videos of all time.
	We're going to have a special show where we get through our best videos, favorite videos of all time.
	But anyway, yeah, it really helps.
	The CBD helps me recover from the inflammation from that.
	Inflammation.
	It gives me the best sleep of my life.
	I told everyone at my gym how well Johnny Apple's CBD works for me and even gave them free samples.
	That's a champs boxing gym in New Rochelle.
	And now, everyone at the gym is using Johnny Apple CBD.
	If you want to feel as great as I do, go to jacbd.com.
	Use promo code GAVIN and get 20% off all orders, plus free shipping.
	Johnny Apple is made from USA-grown hemp, American hemp.
	Johnny Apple CBD has an amazing selection of gummies, supplements, ointments, and a whole bunch of other goodies, even things for your pets.
	You will not get high, but you will feel as great as I do every day, and you will have the best sleep of your life.
	Go to jacbd.com.
	Use promo code GAVIN.
	Again, that's promo code G-A-V-I-N.
	Show the sponsor some love, but more importantly, show yourself some love and feel great.
	I live by these products.
	Visit jacbd.com.
	Use promo code Gavin and treat yourself.
	Thank you, Johnny Apple CBD.
	And I just want to make a note.
	We're having a special here with Bet D. I'm not trying to brag.
	I'm not bragging or nothing, but we got Johnny Apple script, Johnny Apple CBD, not Johnny Apple script.
	That's the script for Johnny Appleseed.
	I'm just going to scratch it out so I don't make that mistake again.
	And we got Bet DSI, BetDSI.com.
	We also got BlueChew.com.
	With all three of these, you get the Super Male Vitality, Super Force.
	Use the promo code GAUT.
	I like when I hear Howard Stern making fun of Alex Jones when he's like, they call him a Super Male Vitality and all this bullshit pills and all this shit you eat and all this dumb crap and what a dick Alex Jones is.
	And then Howard Stern goes, so I was having my gluten-free parmesan shrimp and I scrape off the parmesan because I don't eat meat or cheese products because I think they're unethical and bad for you.
	And you're like, you're making fun of what they put in their bodies and you are 10 times weirder.
	That just gave me an idea.
	What?
	I want to start a fake movement that's vegetarian, but we only eat, we eat animal skin because it's just the animal clothing.
	So it's not like eating meat.
	But vegetarians don't wear leather or fur, dumbass.
	Yeah.
	Only the weak ones.
	Next.
	I love that.
	How could we be racist if we like that guy so much?
	Oh, we love that guy.
	Johnny, talking about Roger Stone and the other guy testifying against them.
	What to say?
	Steve Banton.
	That's what it says here.
	Oh, sorry.
	Yeah, I was just wondering what the deal with Steve Banton testifying against Roger Stone was.
	Do you have any more information on that?
	Was he compelled to do that?
	I thought he was our guy.
	So I talked to Radio Raheem, Raheem Kassan, about that.
	And we were at Trump Tower, actually, in D.C. during the trial.
	And I said, what's with your boy, dude?
	Yo, what's with your boy?
	And he said, Roger Stone would not shut the fuck up about Steve Bannon.
	And you keep poking at a guy, calling him a piece of shit, calling him out.
	And then when he gets a chance to fry you, he's going to fry you.
	And I said, that's a valid point.
	But what if frying you, getting back at the guy who's been fucking with you and calling you a piece of shit, helps the enemy?
	And he goes, yeah.
	And then Steve Bannon has also, his contention was, look, I was subpoenaed.
	I don't want to be here.
	But I was forced to be.
	And then, what am I going to say?
	No?
	I refuse?
	So I think both of those combined, I love Roger Stone, and I'm not a fan of Steve Bannon, at least not his shitting on Trump and testifying against Roger Stone.
	But those are pretty good excuses, aren't they?
	Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, since he's been out of the White House, he's been going around seemingly supporting Trump.
	So it's weird that he'd be throwing the other guys into the bus.
	So anyway, cool.
	Thanks for the backstory.
	I appreciate it.
	Cheers.
	And I think more importantly, he supports Trump's agenda, which is, can we stop the open borders mania, please?
	Open borders mania.
	Open borders mania.
	We're practically giving them away.
	Look at these shitty pipes.
	Those are good pipes.
	These are not good pipes.
	Those are good pipes.
	You are a fucking loser who does nothing but sleep and play with your balls all day.
	And you play way better pipes than me.
	I did push-ups the other day.
	Let me just tell you about my life.
	I do two rounds of jump rope.
	Not impressed so far.
	Two rounds of shadow boxing with gloves on that are weighted.
	So each punch is lifting weights.
	Then I hit the speed bag for two rounds.
	Now I either spar with someone for two to four rounds or I hit the water bag.
	The rounds are three minutes?
	The rounds are three fucking minutes.
	And sparring is like, I don't know how to describe it.
	It's moshing.
	Like you're way more exhausted than anything and you're scared shitless.
	So that's also draining you.
	But if I don't spar two rounds heavy, sorry, three rounds heavy bag, three rounds slip rope, three rounds double-ended bag, three rounds headhunter, whatever you call it, it's this floating bag that's that's like where a human head would be, a water bag.
	Three rounds water bag.
	Okay?
	We actually have footage of you after these workouts.
	Just doing the thing.
	Do with your resounding no.
	Actually, sometimes when I spar, I feel like I'm going to puke or have a panic attack or faint because not only are you more exhausted than you've ever been in your life, you've got a big stupid thing in your mouth, you have this headgear on that's so hot and leather and wet and you have like a nosebleed and then you can't take anything off because you got your gloves on.
	And see, and it's not the kind of gloves you can rip off.
	They're sparring gloves.
	So they're bigger and they lace up or they have Velco.
	So you're like, ah, and you have to run to a coach and go, get the shit off me, get this shit off of me.
	That sounds pretty bad.
	It's panic-inducing.
	I don't have a sound drop for that.
	Oh, well.
	Michael from Allah, LA.
	Cartel.
	Can you guys hear me yourself, Gabler?
	Yo, dude.
	Yeah, I was just wanting to point out, I have some Colombian friends, and I talked to their grandpa around Thanksgiving time, and I was asking him about the differences.
	He went through that time of Bogotá, Medellín, I think Escobar's time.
	And I was asking him, you know, what are the main differences that he's seen with the Mexican cartel and the Colombian cartel?
	And he was saying that the Colombian cartel was, they were based, they wanted to be based off of the Italian mob, you know, more classy and then I was asking him, well, how does that compare?
	Well, he was saying that it was an effort by the powers that be in Colombia to promote that 90, 94 soccer team in the World Cup, to not give the country a bad image.
	And the thing that you see now in Mexico is kids are not looking up to soccer players.
	They're looking up to Chapel.
	They're looking up, you know, the difference of that is as kids, they're already being brought up with that mentality.
	And he was saying that when they got together, the Colombian and the Mexican cartel for business, that they're a lot more flamboyant.
	They want to put their executions on video.
	And I guess the Colombian cartel more about business.
	You know, they wanted to get rid of a guy.
	They're blowing up the building.
	They don't want to draw attention to themselves.
	And he said the Mexican cartel, they make songs about the guys, you know, and all this stuff.
	So that's why they have a lot more cowboys in Mexico.
	It's just they're offing each other, one another.
	To take down a family in Colombia was almost impossible at the time.
	Well, remember, they had that no kidnapping clause that they all agreed upon amongst themselves where you never fuck with the Colombian's family.
	But in Mexico, human life with these cartels means absolutely nothing.
	And beheading people and arranging heads in fancy ways and shooting up police stations means nothing.
	But I will throw one thing out to you.
	When you talk to an old man about his country, no matter where it is, no matter how much of a shithole it is, it's always like, oh, that was a long time ago.
	Like when I talked to Glaswegians about the Gorbals, which is nothing close to what you're talking about as far as danger goes.
	But they'd always say, oh, no, that's all exogenous.
	It's actually a wonderful place.
	It's beautiful.
	I grew up there.
	It's really nice.
	So he may be exaggerating how wonderful and clean everything was.
	I mean, they did invent the Colombian necktie, right?
	Where you slit the throat and then pull the tongue out of the hole.
	They weren't exactly angels.
	In fact, they have a saying in Columbia that says, God accidentally made Columbia too beautiful, so he had to make the people...
	So he had to make the people evil to bounce it out.
	Wow.
	Yeah, I don't think that that's the point of, I see what you're saying.
	Everybody's going to, you know, they have their nationalism for their country.
	But as just as me, just looking at it, they were a lot more, I guess, classier, I guess you could call it that.
	The Mexican cartel draws too much attention to themselves.
	And I guess that there was a way to do things back in the day that's not respected.
	That's why they try to distance themselves with the Mexican cartel as much as they possibly can.
	Yeah, my nuance is distracting.
	Your general point is correct.
	And when they killed Pablo Escobar, I read the book Killing Pablo, and I'm just reading it going, way to go, guys.
	Like, what did you do?
	Did you stop cocaine?
	Is cocaine done?
	7 million Americans are doing cocaine right now.
	Regular users right now.
	Now, as far as who's ever done it, tried it once in their life, I'm sure the numbers are in closer to 100 million.
	And how many people are in jail for this stupid fucking drug?
	Like, no one really ODs on it.
	Maybe a couple of people a year.
	It's not like fentanyl or a real drug that's killing everyone we know.
	And the cartels in Mexico are using children as weapons.
	They're raping everything they see.
	They're blowing up police stations, murdering people on a daily basis in really graphic, horrific ways.
	And I think a lot of that is based on the vacuum that was created when we shut down Escobar.
	What a waste this stupid drug war is.
	The last thing that the old man told me was he said the biggest mistake was introducing Mexicans to cocaine.
	He's like, we should have let these idiots just keep shoveling pounds and pounds of marijuana.
	We should have never have gave that up to them.
	So, you know, yeah, a little bit of jealous factor, I guess, comes in there, too, for giving up their recipe.
	It's nothing like that old dude perspective, eh?
	Thanks for calling.
	I totally agree with you, Fuck.
	All right, I think we got to wrap it up soon.
	We have like a million calls to go.
	There's a bunch.
	Right up to that gray line at the bottom?
	Yeah.
	That's not bad.
	It looks like 10.
	Let's just whip them on the card, but let's whip through.
	Okay.
	We have five minutes left, boys.
	Hey, what does Gavin think in Showa the Rent?
	Something about rent.
	What's up?
	Yeah, I don't know what that means, but I gotta say, Gavin, your fucking Perry impression is probably better than any impression that Ryan could do.
	My one impression?
	Perry.
	Oh, baby.
	Yes.
	Dude, fucking hysterical.
	Best impression.
	I'm just about out of time.
	Things are stirring up in the city.
	Thank you.
	I don't get that compliment.
	I got to ask you, man.
	Is the copper cab fight real?
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	Now, it's possible that he was fighting worse than he wanted to because he wanted the drama.
	But when I would hit his body, it felt like punching a shower curtain.
	Like, I fight fat guys at the gym every day, and there's some resonance there.
	Boom, boom.
	But when I fought him, it was like I was punching a blanket on a string.
	So I think he was beyond out of shape.
	And he did have nightmares that night of my eyes.
	So Copper Cab's a very tough guy to figure out.
	But I will tell you, the fight wasn't thrown.
	I will concede, though, he may have been exaggerating his demise for comic effect.
	But it definitely wasn't an act.
	Well, that contradicts itself.
	I was beating the shit out of him.
	And I don't think he could fight me in a million years, even if I was standing on his.
	What's he called?
	His grandmother?
	His poppy?
	His Mima, his Mima.
	If I was standing on his Mima's neck, he couldn't take me all right.
	Thanks for calling.
	One last thing, man.
	Okay, do you think you'll ever transfer over to what did you hang up on him?
	I did.
	It just took a while to.
	Do you think you'll ever venture over to these public interest groups to try to stop people being hung up on?
	Is that something you would want to do as a human rights activist?
	You clicked the button.
	It takes a second to do it.
	So he happened to get him one more thing, and you happened to say, okay.
	And I was like, this is going to be just too late.
	These guys are all using your mic?
	I think so, yeah.
	That's pathetic.
	It's definitely not good.
	But it kills the echo.
	There's no echo.
	I know, but we got to do a test before.
	Anyway, next caller.
	Kieran, place of the drink, Washington, D.C. Hey, what's up, Gavin Ryan?
	Hey, there.
	Hey, I was just wondering, I'm facing Guantanamo Bay right now, and I just wonder, I'm going to be in D.C. in a week or so.
	I know you were there with Milo.
	Any cool places to check out or anything else to see?
	What did you ask?
	If we were going to do a racist show?
	No, no.
	He's going to DC.
	He's in Guantanamo Bay right now.
	And when he goes out there, are there any good bars?
	Because you know we just came out there.
	Great question.
	The bar is called Kelly's Irish Times.
	Best bar in DC.
	Good crowd.
	Great bartenders.
	Good vibes.
	Kind of smelled like pea.
	Kind of smells like pea.
	That is my spot.
	I fucking love that bar.
	It's one of my favorite bars in the world.
	That's where you want to go, Kelly's Irish Times.
	Yeah.
	What's that other one that everyone likes that I don't like that much?
	Harry's or something?
	You met some chick's girlfriend there?
	That politician...
	I wish I could remember the one that you got.
	Dang it.
	The one that we got water thrown on us.
	You got water thrown on you guys.
	Oh, that was not that good.
	That was the one by the courthouse.
	I thought it was called the, what do you call it when you have a alibi?
	The alibi.
	There you go.
	It's okay.
	When there's a call.
	It's no Kelly's Irish Times.
	Kelly's Irish Times.
	Really good support.
	Next call.
	Bye, sir.
	Michael from Wisconsin.
	How much time do we have?
	Two minutes?
	Yeah, we don't got to worry about it because the car's going to be.
	No, no, I don't want the cards.
	We got a minute.
	44.
	All right.
	Well, let's do one more call and we got to go.
	Last call, sir.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	What's going on, boys?
	All right.
	So, Gavin, I think you need to adjust your rating system because I think people like bigger girls nowadays.
	Dude, I'm a chubby chaser.
	Have you not seen the chicks that I like?
	They're all fat pigs.
	So am I, though.
	I see them and I'm like, not enough.
	I mean, like, I don't want them to be, like, dying, but, like, you know, you don't got to warm them up.
	All right, we're going to go over the card.
	What's that chick that I like who's a Victoria's Secret model?
	I forgot.
	Let me see.
	She has a name like Ashley St. Clair, but it's not Ashley St. Clair.
	Do you know who I mean?
	Ashley Timmons?
	I'm going to, while I have you on the line, sir, I'm going to ask you.
	Ashley Graham?
	Ashley.
	No, not Ashley Graham.
	Of course, you're wrong.
	Oh, I fuck with Ashley Graham.
	See, our caller fucks with Ashley Graham.
	Yeah.
	Victoria's Secret plus size, I put in.
	And there's one I want you to look at.
	And you tell me what her rating is.
	And featured its first plus size model.
	Her name is Allie Tate Cutler.
	So are you near a computer, sir?
	Yes, Pally what?
	Allie, and then she has two last names.
	I think she kept her first name.
	Allie Tate Cutler.
	T-A-T-E Cutler.
	Kate.
	T-A-T-E.
	Like titties.
	Tate.
	Allie Tate.
	Okay, yep, yep.
	Ooh, okay.
	Okay, yeah.
	That's a size I think that both generations can agree on.
	Yeah, no one is kicking her out of bed for eating crackers.
	What are you going to give that?
	I wouldn't kick her out of the bed for eating my dog name crackers.
	I wouldn't kick her out of crackers.
	I'm going to take her to bed for shooting me in the cock.
	I'm going to take...
	She's a nine.
	What was that?
	That's a nine?
	I'm taking out that she's a famous model and everything.
	I just see her on the street.
	Gotta be a nine.
	But you gotta go with your gut, you know?
	And I'm saying nine.
	If you go with your guts, are you in a military base or in an igloo in Alaska?
	It's hard to see the ass.
	Yeah, they don't show her ass much.
	I don't think it's much to write home about.
	But nine is nuts, dude.
	Come on.
	I mean, I'd give it a nine.
	I like those red hair.
	All right.
	We're going to do an eight.
	Okay, we can say, I'm not saying you got, you know, you don't got to change your standards.
	I'm just saying times change, you know, and my generation is a lot fatter.
	So you got fatter.
	Bras.
	Also, I live in Wisconsin, and oh my God, Madison?
	Girls go to Madison and they come back nuts.
	Madison is so fucking over the top.
	Every single bumper sticker says faux news and some bullshit about stop bigotry with a picture of Trump.
	Then there's one man.
	That's the only city I've ever been to where there's a one man protest.
	Just a guy with a sign.
	What the fuck are you doing?
	Preach.
	Oh man.
	Girls will come back from college from Madison and oh my God.
	Like I can't even fuck with them anymore.
	Oh my God.
	So annoying.
	Do not let Madison let your interpretation of Wisconsin be tarnished.
	I've camped out in northern Wisconsin.
	I know it's a great state.
	We've had a lot of fun up there.
	But it's funny when I talk to my wife's Indian relatives in Madison, they're like into Tommy Soda Mayor and normal stuff.
	They fucking hate these fake friends that are liberals who want to kiss their ass because they have nothing in common with them.
	Indians like hunting and hanging out and drinking and trying to lose weight because they don't want to die of diabetes.
	And liberals want to talk to them about racism and they're like, anyway, thanks for calling, dude.
	You're right.
	It is a fucked up city.
	Peace.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	How are we doing?
	So the card's out.
	We'll have to get it from the machines.
	We should have had a bigger card.
	But that's all good.
	But hurry up.
	Let's finish the calls.
	I want to get to the pub.
	Oh, okay.
	Do they keep adding up?
	I think there's a couple more.
	Yeah, one was just 50 seconds ago.
	One's three minutes ago.
	So these are coming in still.
	This is YouTube Purge.
	Hey, Gavin, you were right about YouTube taking out Owen, and I was curious if you know of any more YouTube purges.
	I heard they're going after Flintace.
	Do you know if they're going after you?
	And by the way, Ryan, can you update your Patreon?
	I'm probably one of like five subs you have left over there.
	So thought I'd mention that.
	I think I have an idea for it.
	You have a Patreon?
	Okay.
	Yes.
	I'm sorry about that.
	The Give Me Money Fund, I think is what you called it?
	Yes.
	Please, more guru, sir.
	Can I have some free money?
	I used to provide content.
	I only did it because you fired him.
	It was only when Ryan was fake fired or whatever that was.
	I should be off months ago, frankly, but I'm just, you know, I'm a sucker for the content.
	How much do you pay him?
	It's like, what, three bucks?
	It doesn't make a difference in my bottom line, frankly, but you know, it's three bucks a month?
	I feel it's like doing a charitable deed.
	I'm like, wow, I'm a good guy for, you know, giving Ryan some fucking taxes.
	But that's a third of what I ask for.
	And I'm not a charity.
	I provide, what, like 10 shows with hours of content every day?
	I don't know.
	I mean, you could adjust your tier system.
	I mean, 10 bucks is, I don't know.
	I think that's a steal.
	I don't have a problem with that, frankly.
	I mean, I watch every day.
	Jesus Christ.
	To answer your question, sir, I was told that anyone Infowars related or Proud Boys related is dead.
	I have also heard that Nick Fuentez is on the chopping block.
	Again, as I said earlier, I heard Steven Crowder's just escaped because of the lawsuit.
	I have heard that I'm not going to go immediately because of my litigious nature, but I don't know if that's true.
	And I've heard that Milo is a dead man.
	So he is trying to get all this free speech promo stuff out before he's shut down on December 10th.
	Milo sounds positive.
	He's a dead man.
	My insiders, I don't think, have told me about Milo.
	But anyway, thanks for calling.
	I like you more than a friend.
	We've got to end the show here.
	We went about 50 minutes over.
	The big picture here is that ideas are introduced to you as benevolent, good-meaning gestures.
	The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
	So they say, we're going to get rid of the real super anti-Semitic cartoons that are ostracizing everyone.
	And you go, all right, I don't like that cartoon either.
	That sounds okay.
	And they start with that premise.
	That's the Trojan horse premise.
	And it does have merit.
	And it has improved the little chats I'm in by getting rid of the freaks.
	But then they take that and they say, look, we need a prison.
	We're going to put it rapists, pedophiles, murderers, and thieves in it.
	And you go, okay, yeah, I don't want them around.
	Now the prison is built.
	Now the bad guys are in there.
	And now they start going, that's Janesh T'Souza.
	He paid campaign contributions, but then encouraged someone else to pay for the same campaign contribution.
	And in that sense, he kind of doubled his campaign contribution.
	Oh, really?
	Throw him in jail.
	That's Nasla Bakuli Nasla.
	He did a Muhammad video, and it embarrassed Hillary Clinton and made Benghazi look bad.
	So we're going to put it on him.
	He's in jail.
	Those are proud boys, Max Hare and John Kinsman.
	The DNC is getting known as violent, and there's this jobs, not mobs hashtag going around.
	Throw them in jail.
	Call it felony gang assault and say it reminds you of 1930s Europe.
	So what initially may have made a little bit of sense has become a tyrannical tool to reinforce a modern Salem witch trial.
	And now we have innocent people being burned at the fucking stake, getting fired, having their entire careers decimated, being imprisoned, being depersoned, and in some cases, being killed based on the bullshit lie that there is this looming Hitler, this World War III that you need to prevent.
	Well, you are being manipulated.
	And fascism has arrived, but it's come in the name of anti-fascism, which has been predicted.
	We are carrying out the revelations of the prophets.
	And the real question is how to move forward from this.
	And I think that one of the ways to move forward is free speech.tv to have our own platforms where we can provide this content.
	And in a sense, it's a form of hibernation.
	I mean, I've got access to 15,000 subscribers now.
	My YouTube videos were in the millions.
	But we will hibernate.
	We will hide out.
	And we will come back stronger than ever because we have a fighting attitude.
	And that's the only thing that lasts.
	It's like the truth.
	Lies run sprints.
	The truth runs marathons.
	So get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.

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