Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E52 - ATTACK OF THE SUPER RASCALS

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Aug. 27, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

56:38

S02E52 - ATTACK OF THE SUPER RASCALS

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	I want you to know what I can do for you.
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.
	You make me feel everyday That was Dr. Phil's son's band.
	They were performing their smash hit, Doctor, which nobody's heard.
	And it was a very romantic gesture that Dr. Phil did last Valentine's Day, I believe, where he said he's going to invite on his wife's favorite band.
	And coincidentally, his wife's favorite band is his son.
	That got the, what are they called?
	Go back to the beginning.
	She is acting, right?
	Pretending that she's surprised and excited and cannot believe her eyes when she sees her son's band.
	Her son's band.
	What?
	The silent epidemics?
	Oh, no, no, no, no.
	That can't be the name of them.
	Well, go back to the beginning of the video.
	Okay.
	Because if you want to see some bad acting, check out his.
	She's had so much plastic surgery.
	She actually has a good argument for plastic surgery.
	Because she looks better.
	Her and Ozzy Osborne's wife, Sharon Osborne.
	Turn it up.
	Of all time, come on.
	Come here, come here.
	He should make a hand gesture for stop overacting.
	Like, come here, come here.
	Got it down the notch.
	You're ruining her bit.
	Okay.
	As my Valentine's Day gift, I turned her.
	Can't she see them anytime she wants?
	Go to the practice space.
	Just pause.
	Look at her hands.
	She's clearly in her 80s.
	But she looks pretty good, right?
	Like, I guess you can spend enough money that you make a pretty face.
	Someone's built a face on top of her face.
	I think without makeup, though, it looks like one of those model car kits without the paint before you paint them.
	Or like a mannequin head that they have at a wig shop without the wig.
	Just featureless.
	Isn't that an interesting ring, too?
	The first knuckle ring.
	You've got me covering the ring.
	Oh.
	No, no, no.
	That's the ring.
	Oh, wait, she has a ring on her.
	That was covered by the camera.
	Can you flip the viewfinder?
	What the hell?
	It's like a little diamond bow tie on her fingernail.
	Boy, women, no matter how much money you make, your wife will figure out a way to spend it.
	You can make a billion dollars and your wife will empty your bank account.
	She'll have a diamond bow tie toe ring that is $120,000.
	What?
	Look how shocked she is.
	Let me introduce the hottest band tearing up the charts.
	Hold on a sec.
	Hold on a sec.
	This band is 10 years old?
	How can they be 10 years old?
	How can Silent Epidemic be 10 years old?
	I wonder if that's Mississippi, Australia.
	Our son, Jordan.
	Hit the name Jordan.
	Oh, it's Hundred Handed is the name of the band.
	Okay, can we hear it?
	Hundred-handed.
	Wait, hundred-handed?
	Yes.
	And his band, Hundred-Handed.
	Just pause again.
	What the hell does that mean?
	Is that like under-handed, but hundred-handed?
	I'm lost.
	Nobody knows.
	What a terrible name.
	That's like rural juror.
	Hundred-handed.
	Yes.
	It's also intolerant of the handicapped community.
	Some people have one hand, and so the number would be 99-handed if they were in that particular group.
	All right, keep going.
	Look at that mom.
	She can't even look at them.
	She's so thrilled to be able to see her son.
	She lives in LA.
	They're an LA band.
	They've been around for 10 years.
	And this is Finnish.
	Look at her.
	She can't even stand.
	Okay, just pause.
	If you date outside of your race, you can always do better.
	It's just a weird rule.
	And it's not like a white-black thing in one direction.
	It goes both ways.
	If you're a black guy, you can get a white chick hotter than you could as a black chick.
	If you're a white guy, you can get a black chick hotter than you could as a white girl.
	You know what I mean?
	Just switching races for some reason.
	I don't know why.
	Maybe they like the novelty of it.
	Maybe you're special when you leave the community.
	I knew a redheaded guy in Brazil who was born there, born and raised there, sort of like that boxer Canelo in Mexico.
	And Jesus, it was like he was in the Beatles.
	He just could not stop getting laid.
	And that's just a redhead in Brazil.
	So, dude, you don't, if you're going to go black, you can do eight.
	This guy is like a 6.9, Dr. Phil's son.
	And you're Dr. Phil's son.
	So why is he with a five?
	She's all right.
	What do you think she is?
	I don't know.
	In this picture that I'm looking at here, let me pull this up.
	Not looking too good.
	This one.
	Whoa!
	Nice bangs.
	Whoa!
	He's got the Kimbra.
	Yeah, not quite, I'm afraid.
	The lighting is kind of weird here, Orion.
	This side of my face looks super dark.
	Uh-oh.
	Is it conceivable that you would do a show where you wouldn't have a major error?
	Is that better?
	A little bit.
	Yeah, and then let's just play some of this terrible shit.
	If you're going to be a band, why bother?
	If this is the music you're going to make, why bother?
	It's sort of like if you're going to be a painter and you want to do landscape painting, like why make such generic, dull, useless pop?
	We're doing fine for that.
	Yay!
	I want you to be able to do it.
	She's still acting.
	I can do it for you.
	Maybe she lost him as a child to adoption, and this is the first time she's seeing her biological son.
	Her son's baked Alaska?
	She's been trying to get a hold of her son her whole life because she regrets it so much.
	She's like, can I just talk to him?
	She gave up her tech.
	And he kept saying, no, I'm not interested.
	I have a family.
	And then today, Dr. Phil said, I found your biological son.
	That would make sense.
	I've been looking at my son that I saw this morning and I made scrambled eggs for.
	Well, I think the thing that's inconceivable is that Dr. Phil would have his son on the show.
	Like, it's probably pretty complex to have your own son on your own show, you know?
	It's a pretty big feat.
	By the way, they stole the riff.
	He's doing that.
	I know, I do, I know.
	I hope that you be happy then.
	I hope that you be happiness.
	But this was last year, though.
	I think that came out song.
	You did.
	Dude, Donnie.
	So they stole from Hundred Hands?
	Look at her stupid eyelashes.
	Ugh.
	That came out in 2018.
	So it could be the same time.
	That's why we had that terrible song.
	We're yet to do Ryan's week.
	Maybe we'll do that next week.
	Maybe we'll do that tomorrow.
	I'm just not looking forward to it so much.
	Like, what's a song that you just can't stop thinking about that you'll always love and you're always happy when it comes on?
	Man in the Box.
	I already hate it.
	I don't even know it.
	It's by Alice in Chains.
	You never heard of that?
	Alice in Chains.
	You know what our favorite joke was in the early aughts?
	It was the No Rush joke.
	We go, no, we go, what kind of music do you like?
	Oh, you know, same thing everyone loves.
	Early Jane, late Chains, Peppers and Rage.
	So you are a joke.
	I guess.
	Early Jane, late Chains, Peppers and Rage.
	No, Jane's addiction is terrible.
	No, they're actually the best out of them.
	No!
	That's ghastly.
	Wrong again?
	You would say that.
	That shoplifting song?
	And a Bobby Man.
	That's terrible.
	No, it's not.
	It's not good, dude.
	You're not good.
	Play your man in the box.
	Let's end this argument with your terrible songs.
	One rocks, the other one's like girly weird.
	Literally, they were the entourage intro theme song.
	Jane's Addiction.
	Okay, no, don't look up Jane's Addiction.
	Oh, you want Man in the Box?
	I want Man in the Box.
	So do I. It's a great song.
	This is going to hurt.
	Oh, it rolls.
	By the way, while he looks that up, folks, today we're going to examine rascals.
	The vehicles.
	I think they're annoying.
	They're often used, though, to execute vigilante justice in our society.
	To literally put out fires, to stop fights, to punish people for attacking the weak.
	So maybe they're good.
	I'm going to go through some rascal footage with you live and we can figure it out together.
	Because this is not like Tucker or other shows or Howard Stern or even Kumia where they have it all figured out.
	I don't have it all figured out.
	I'm a scientist.
	So as we come through things, I'm open to mistakes.
	And sometimes I don't know the answers.
	So I want to work through it with you, the viewer.
	I paid it.
	While you cry.
	This is like Van Alen if they had an enema.
	You're taking everything out of good classic rock.
	Slaps.
	Is that what you have your hair in your eyes?
	Yeah, I'm a rocker, man.
	You want to be grunge?
	By the way, I saw your mailbag, so I hadn't caught up with the.
	You watched some of it.
	I saw you watching some of it.
	Very boring.
	It's not good.
	Sometimes I think, I go, my job's easy.
	Anyone can do it.
	And then I see you do it and go, maybe I'm talented.
	That's why I did it.
	To make me feel good?
	To confirm that you...
	This is the way it should go, Ryan.
	I held back.
	The letters are a place where the viewer gets his time.
	You would take a letter and go off at a tangent about boring shows you're filming, like that Jeff the Chef, whatever the hell he's called.
	And you talk about yourself.
	And these are my things.
	I like to see movies.
	At one point, he says in Ryan's mailbag, which the pilot is a failure.
	The show's not getting picked up.
	But he goes, I like to see movies alone or with people.
	And then I said, who cares?
	So that kind of, that self-deprecation.
	That's all valuable information that Ryan supplies on his mailbag show.
	All right, let's get started.
	Exciting time, especially in comedy, where I think the rich, rich comedians like Ricky Gervais, Jerry Seinfeld, Dave Chappelle, Eddie Murphy, comedians who can afford it are saying no to political correctness to this war on free speech.
	And I understand that because as a comedian, you must go, all right, I can sit here and write a set that's acceptable and be scratching my head for two hours.
	Or I can just say fuck it and take no prisoners and do the same comedy I've been doing for decades.
	If I follow the first parameters, I'll be working on this comedy set for the next five years.
	If I just do what I do, I used to go up on stage every night and just wing it and slay.
	I think I'll just do that.
	Fine, fuck it.
	And Dave Chappelle has a new special out on Netflix, And the attitude is, fuck it.
	And we saw recently we were talking about Jerry Seinfeld and Ricky Gervais, where he said, where is everyone the same?
	And then Jerry Seinfeld goes, I don't know, China.
	And then they spend the entire episode deciding whether they should leave that in or not.
	And ultimately, they decide to leave it in because you and I have seen it.
	So I sense that two groups of comedians are standing up to this war in free speech.
	One is brand new comedians in New York, and I'm speaking specifically of Legionist Ganks.
	Dave Smith, Louis J. Gomez, Kurt Metzger.
	Ari Shafir.
	I should be careful saying those two names together or they might have a fight in my sentence.
	Comedians Kurt Metzger and Louis J. Gomez recently had a fight.
	That's why I bring that up.
	Ari Shafir, yeah.
	A lot of that New York scene, stand-up New York, those guys have balls.
	And it's probably because most of them have nothing to lose.
	Similarly, guys who are so rich they can afford to lose, like Seinfeld and Gervais and Chappelle, have the same amount of balls.
	Actually, they have smaller balls because you could fire Chappelle right now, and he's got enough for his grandchildren to be rich.
	But it's still, it's an exciting time.
	And I kind of knew this was coming because people don't care if you don't mess with their personal fun life.
	So when they silence me or Laura Loomer, they go, I never really knew those two anyway.
	But when you start attacking all of comedy, it's like attacking fast food or football, for example, this whole like concussions thing.
	That's a war in America.
	And if you attack football, your average American starts going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, what?
	What are we doing here?
	And I think ruining Hollywood and ruining comedy and ruining food has made your average American go, all right, all right, I didn't really care before, but I love stand-up comedy.
	That's, I love Eddie Murphy.
	I used to listen to Steve Martin with my dad as a little kid.
	You're not messing with that.
	So, without further to-do, oh yeah, I just sent you this, right?
	Woke joke police target comedian Dave Chappelle.
	So in this, go back to that article.
	In that article, it's about this LGBT thing.
	What was the, was it at Vice?
	Oh my God, it was my alma mater, Vice.
	Yeah, terrible.
	My people.
	Jesus, my prodigy, my children.
	I spawned this.
	So back at the media empire that I spawned, they are criticizing Dave Chappelle's new set.
	And one of the things, one of the jokes he has in it is he was doing a set and there was a rape joke in there.
	And this woman leaves and he goes, where are you going?
	And she goes, I'm sorry.
	I was raped.
	And he goes, well, you don't have to be sorry you were raped.
	It's not your fault.
	And then he goes, but it wasn't my fault either.
	Ta-da!
	That's very funny.
	That's a funny rape joke.
	People say you can't have a funny joke with the N-word in it or rape or Holocaust.
	You can have a funny joke on any subject.
	And it's usually benefiting the people it should.
	Holocaust jokes tend to be a parody of anti-Semitism.
	Like at a stand-up set in Tel Aviv, I heard a guy say, yeah, the Holocaust, unbelievable, horrible thing.
	I mean, and people need to pay more attention to it.
	I can't believe anyone would want to trivialize what they did to 300,000 people.
	That's funny, and it's a parody of people who don't think 6 million Jews died.
	Anyway, he also goes on in that article, they talk about how he said that you can't offend the alphabet people, meaning LGBT.
	Go back to the bright one.
	I'm sorry I'm itching my nose so much.
	I've got allergies.
	I've got my mustache twirling up into my nostrils, tickling me.
	I apologize.
	Go down.
	Zoom in here.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	And then later on in the article, he says that he was doing a trans joke and everyone was laughing.
	And they go, did you catch that?
	No, go up.
	You just had it.
	Did you catch that part?
	That part about Dave Chappelle only being interested in repairing his relationship with marginalized groups if he doesn't have to change anything about himself?
	Whatever happened to changing, accepting people as they are?
	That's a thing they do.
	And you saw that Anna Kasparian did that with me when she saw me trying to get liberal guests on free speech.tv, which I'm doing, by the way.
	Believe it or not, I've managed to continue post There is life after Anna Kasparian.
	And we've got some doozy guests coming up in September.
	I can't tell you that, though, because they will be harassed by the mob.
	But this notion that when you get liberal guests, you're trying to repair your Nazi image.
	And you go, no, I'm just continuing to be me.
	So you call me a Nazi or a fascist or whatever the hell, a transphobe, and I just keep behaving like a normal human being.
	And they go, oh, he's not acknowledging my criticism.
	That means he's not willing to change.
	Or when they see you doing something normal, they go, oh, he's trying to convince people he's changed.
	And you're listening to them going, no, no, you just have the story wrong.
	Like they see themselves as gods.
	And when they dictate something, it's a dictum.
	They're dictators.
	And it has to be true.
	And if someone doesn't comply, they're either in denial or they're desperately trying to comply.
	They just can't see something for what it is.
	They see someone, they go, he's gay.
	Oh, he's having sex with a woman.
	That's pathetic that he's trying to hide his gayness by having sex with a woman, that poor girl.
	And you just go, I give up.
	I give up on you.
	Anyway, Dave Chappelle, here's a bit from Dave Chappelle's thing.
	This was recorded with the phone by a friend of mine.
	I'm not showing you the original.
	I don't know why.
	So I had to go to standards and practices.
	They call me up.
	I don't know why they're calling me, but I like the lady that runs the department.
	She's usually really fair and was one of my favorite places.
	So we talk about Chappelle show.
	So she sits me down.
	We have a nice conversation.
	She tells me, oh, the sketches are great.
	I go, oh, fantastic.
	Well, then why am I here?
	She said, because, David, there's no way that you can ever say the word fagot on our network.
	I didn't know I did anything wrong.
	I didn't try to defend myself.
	I said, all right, fuck it.
	I'll take it out.
	Have a good afternoon.
	And as I was leaving, it occurred to me, hey, hey, Renee, quick question.
	Just a question.
	I want to know, why is it that I can say the word nigger with impunity?
	Great point.
	So you're not allowed to say this.
	But I can't say the word faggot.
	And she said, because, David, you are not gay.
	I said, well, Renee, I'm not a nigger either.
	Oh, shit.
	It's so good.
	Do me a favor.
	Wow.
	Go back to that original article, the Breitbart one, and let's click on the vice thing.
	And I want to see the author.
	This is very important, folks.
	Check the author.
	You'll often realize that you are reading the writings of a babysitter, a child.
	Now, let's see.
	Yeah, I might have to just search for it.
	I don't know if they link it.
	Well, all you have to do, Ryan, here's how you do your job.
	You take a quote from the poll quote that's in the article, you put that in quotes, and the vice article will appear.
	Okay, it's called You Can Definitely Skip Dave Chappelle's.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's written by Taylor Hosking.
	Let's have a look at Taylor Hoskings.
	Hoskins?
	Hosking.
	Hosking.
	That looks like a fake name.
	Yeah.
	What about some of the other articles?
	I looked into this, and the way that she wrote about this all-black sketch show, which is some shitty sketch show that, I mean, it's probably a wonderful show.
	She used to write about children's cartoons and stuff a lot.
	A lot of black woke stuff.
	This is looking like a black woman.
	Yeah, it is.
	An eccentric black woman with a nose ring.
	That sounds about right.
	I'm feeling a nose ring on my horizon at my crystal ball.
	I'm seeing kooky hair.
	See, this show here that nobody's heard of, and this came out, I don't even know when.
	Oh, this is 2019.
	All right, just find her, please.
	Don't do your own stuff.
	As we learned from the mailbag show, Ryan, just Ryan is terrible.
	Yes.
	Don't do your own research, your own reporting, please.
	Taylor Hoskins.
	Yeah.
	Okay, I'm even going to go farther and say that she has a white mom and a black dad.
	The black dad was not around.
	She's a hero of color.
	And she was raised by her white mom.
	She doesn't even have a full res picture out there.
	That's a terrible picture.
	There's no full res.
	Did you put her in quotes?
	This is her also.
	Oh, she's there with Cornell West.
	This is her in quotes.
	Same results.
	Yeah.
	White Jewish mom, black husband, black husband not around.
	And I used to have a theory that the reason that those kind of raised white black people are so radical is that their white friends go, can you not be like me?
	I don't like it when you listen to NPR and play golf.
	I want you to be Malcolm X. And we had a reader write it, a viewer write in and say, you're wrong, Gavin.
	The real reason is other black people see them as a sellout for speaking normal.
	And they say, you're not really black.
	You're a sellout.
	You're white.
	And so they feel so bad about their own voice that they change it and become radicalized.
	So it's to appease black people.
	Whichever it is, you're not being yourself.
	And it's weird.
	What's that article that says things I'm the one about?
	Yeah, what is that article?
	Things Imagined?
	What is that?
	Let me see.
	Oh, that's her Twitter page.
	So she hates Dave Chappelle.
	Have you noticed her cannibalizing their own?
	Dave Chappelle's a liberal.
	Dave Chappelle would never vote for Trump in a million years, but he's not woke enough.
	Because, why?
	Because he said, I did a tranny joke and a tranny liked it.
	I did a rape joke and it was funny.
	And he called LGBT the alphabet people.
	And it's true, because LGBT is the shortest version possible.
	No one says LGBT anymore.
	Anyway, remember that video where they had the long one, like LGBTQRL, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	And they had gays trying to figure out what the hell it was?
	And like maybe one of them got it?
	All right, let's check in on Michael Rappaport.
	If you recall last week, Trump was in trouble for saying, what did he say?
	He said, Jews who vote Republican are disloyal.
	And what he meant was, we love you.
	Our best interests, your best interests are with us, the right.
	We're pro-Israel.
	We're going to monitor radical Islam.
	You should like us.
	Why do you always vote Democrat?
	Democrats don't give a shit about you.
	Yet you almost, 78%, I think, of Jews outside of Orthodox Jews vote Democrat.
	Actually, that'll be interesting to break up.
	Don't talk about Jews voting as one bloc.
	It should be Orthodox Jews and then liberal secular Jews.
	Because I bet you Orthodox Jews vote, this is just my gut, 80% conservative, and I bet the opposite is true of secular Jews.
	So to put those two together, you're really, it's an oil and water political statistic.
	But Michael Rappaport, who I thought was Irish up until yesterday, did you know he's Jewish?
	I didn't.
	He's got an Irish vibe with his red hair.
	Is he not an Irish Jew?
	Oh, one of the three Irish Jews besides Louis C.K. No, Louis C.K. is a Mexican Jew.
	Yes.
	No, he's not Jewish, is he?
	Yeah.
	Whoa.
	Didn't know that.
	I have to know he's Catholic, dude.
	He was raised Catholic.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Look it up.
	It's in his show.
	Because Jim Gaffigan is Catholic.
	Huh.
	Well, they can both be Catholic.
	I know.
	They can also eat bacon.
	Why is he always talking about being Catholic?
	Why is he Catholic?
	Why is he Catholic?
	I can't do that.
	Okay, just play as the Michael Rappaport video, though.
	Whoa.
	Oh, way to go.
	All right.
	All righty then.
	Show us one of your bushmarks.
	Disloyal dick stain Donald Trump.
	Keep the fucking Jews out your fucking mouth.
	You don't speak on our behalf.
	Just pause.
	What is a dick stain?
	I don't know, but is that like on your underwear when there's a little yellow area?
	Or maybe it's a stain in the shape of a dick.
	Or maybe it's a stain on your dick?
	Maybe it's a stain that Andy Dick creates.
	It's like a birthmark on your penis.
	Is that what Donald Trump is?
	Maybe.
	Dick stain?
	So does he speak for all?
	Does he try to say shit stain, but without swearing?
	Dick stain.
	No, dick stain.
	I don't think he's afraid of swearing.
	Okay, go ahead.
	Hey, don't try that divide and conquer shit with the Jews, okay?
	We don't need you speaking on our behalf.
	Okay, you and your tiny little hands and your baby little Schmeckle.
	You fuck you.
	I never saw you at Shabbat dinner.
	I never saw you at cynic.
	What is with people talking about dick size all the time?
	A hand, dick?
	I don't know.
	You have a small dick.
	Maybe he'd like them if he had a bigger piece.
	Guys, drop the small dick thing, okay?
	It's not a valid insult.
	It's hurtful.
	Women don't talk about penis size nearly ever.
	And this idea that someone is compensating.
	Oh yeah, you got a gun because you got a small dick.
	That's what you're trying to compensate.
	Yeah, they don't really say that about bloods and crips very often, do they?
	Are they trying to compensate?
	Are all the black gangbangers really just deeply embarrassed of their tiny little baby dicks?
	Or NASA's created because of small dicks?
	It's not a thing.
	Just drop it.
	As someone who is above average in length, it's embarrassing to hear everyone bitch about that.
	Also, this incel thing, like, you can't get laid.
	That's your problem.
	I've seen people say that about me.
	He's just bitter because he can't get any pussy.
	I've been with my wife for 20 years now.
	It's not, you've barked up the wrong tree.
	Small dicks could be responsible for great, like the greatest achievements in mankind then.
	China's got a billion people.
	You just overcome.
	They still work.
	And if you put a yarmulke on the back of that hairpiece, it would slip slide off the back of your fucking head.
	Remember Charlottesville when they were down there saying Jews will not replace us?
	And you, you fuck, you said there's very fine people on both sides.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	Yeah, Michael, there was two things going on in Charlottesville.
	One was the Jews will not replace us, guys versus Antifa.
	There are no good people on both sides.
	Do you think Trump thinks there's some good Antifa?
	Obviously not.
	Use logic, liberals.
	I know you're allergic to logic, but try it.
	So out of the Antifa and the Nazis, just like the commies and the Nazis in 1943, there are no good people.
	That's right.
	I never liked Stalin.
	Similar, sorry.
	Conversely, I guess?
	Controversially?
	No.
	Controversially.
	Contrapositally.
	Don't interject ever.
	Notwithstanding, there was another thing going on at that thing.
	And I believe, by the way, the Nazis wanted you to think it was just statues.
	So they made a statue thing and then at the 11th hour, switched it up and added the Nazi thing.
	I didn't fall for it, despite what the fake news tells you.
	There was also another demonstration going on simultaneously that was about statues.
	Some people wanted the Robert E. Lee statue down.
	Others thought it was glorifying slavery.
	There was good people on those both sides.
	Trump wasn't talking about Nazis and Antifa, clearly.
	He would never say there are good Antifa.
	In fact, he just said they should be labeled a domestic terror organization.
	He was talking about the statue controversy.
	Sometimes the people with the biggest voices are the ones the least informed.
	The ones screaming keep it real the loudest are the ones the most full of shit.
	KRS-1.
	You don't speak on behalf of the fucking Jews.
	You and your punk-ass, pussy-ass son-in-law, Jared Kushner.
	Keep the fucking Jews out your mouth.
	All right?
	Dick Stane Donald Trump.
	He looks like an old man.
	Kneecap.
	He's one color.
	He looks like a kneecap?
	His whole face is the same color besides his eyes.
	Yeah, so am I. No, you're not.
	That's why I wear these black hornroom glasses to give some sort of like eyebrows.
	Your skin isn't gray.
	Look at my eyebrows.
	There's nothing happening there.
	Oh, yeah, but your skin tone.
	So we put this on here, and all of a sudden there's some sort of facial features.
	Plus, glasses hide your like wrinkleness.
	All right.
	Before we get to the rascals, which is coming up, I want to talk briefly about Brett Stevens.
	He is a free speech advocate who talks about the necessity of discomfort.
	And he's right.
	You should be made uncomfortable.
	That's how your brain gets in shape.
	We're in a mentally obese ethos.
	We have people literally dying of mental obesity.
	And I'm speaking about these nut Antifa who think they're fighting Nazis and end up killing themselves when they get caught and are facing prison term.
	Snow, stop.
	What are you doing?
	Ryan?
	Yes.
	I said free speech and the necessity of discomfort.
	You should probably go to the tweet that discusses free speech and the necessity of discomfort.
	Right, so look at this.
	So this is Brett Stevens writing about the importance of free speech.
	Yes, I agree with you, Brett.
	Now, by the way, because of that black and white and trans and Jewish intro, I'm obsessed with the ethnicity of everyone we talk about.
	That's not good.
	The left puts identity politics in your head, and then you have trouble getting it out.
	Anyway, so this is Brett Stevens back before anyone insulted him.
	And then someone called him a bed bug.
	Free speech for me, but not for thee.
	So he's discomforted by being called a bed bug.
	And here's someone, you can never find this kind of stuff unless you get someone recording it with their phone on Twitter.
	Here he is defending the fact that he wrote a long email to the professor and CC'd the professor's boss.
	So he tried to get the guy fired for calling him a bed bug.
	The New York Times had a problem with bed bugs in the building.
	So a fun insult, just like calling Italians Frito, a fun insult for New York Times journalists is to call them bed bugs.
	Because that's really what they are.
	They're little turgid tattletales, as Greg Gudfeld described Brian Stettler.
	And yes, CNN is bedbugs too.
	But go ahead.
	Activate your Twitter account.
	Okay.
	What that's buffering?
	That shouldn't be buffering.
	Yeah, no, the player is just very odd.
	So if you put it in full screen, it behaves oddly.
	Here we go.
	Because there's a lot of buzz about this.
	You deactivated your Twitter account after a controversy that involved someone calling you a name.
	Would you like to comment on that?
	Yeah, I'm going to be careful with my words because I know these are going to be examined carefully.
	So I think Twitter brings out the worst in its users.
	It tends to bring out the worst in its users.
	And yesterday, a professor at George Washington University described me as a bed bug or a metaphorical bed bug just in the context of class.
	He described me as a bed bug or a metaphorical bed bug.
	So he didn't think you were literally a bed bug on some giant bed that would take up like Central Park.
	Imagine how big a bed would have to be for him to literally be a bed bug.
	You'd have to be nude on a giant blanket that was as big as Central Park.
	Of course, it's a metaphorical bed bug, you bedbug.
	I'm having a bed bug problem in our building.
	I think that kind of rhetoric is dehumanizing and totally unacceptable no matter where it comes from.
	Just pause.
	I thought we had a necessity of discomfort.
	All insults are dehumanizing.
	You're a pig.
	You're a cock.
	You're a cunt.
	You're a butthead.
	You're a dick stain.
	If you're a dick stain, you're not a person.
	An ass.
	Human garbage.
	You're an ass.
	Let's try to think of insults that aren't dehumanizing.
	I guess stupid.
	Jerk.
	Bitch.
	Jerk.
	There's like seven.
	Idiot.
	That's still stupid.
	Fool?
	That's still stupid.
	No, but there's other...
	A fool is a fool.
	As stupid is stupid.
	We should change the name of the show to Suffers Fool Gladly.
	Well, stupid isn't a noun.
	It's a description.
	It's an adjective.
	Correct.
	But fool, that's a noun.
	So you're a stupid fool.
	Okay.
	Fair enough.
	But you're not a bed bug.
	I'd never dehumanize you because that's not acceptable.
	Ever.
	Thank you.
	So I wrote him a personal email.
	I didn't go to Twitter.
	I wrote him a personal email, which I think was very civil, saying that I did appreciate it, that I would welcome him to come to my home in New York, meet with my family.
	Just pop it.
	Imagine someone calls you something as irrelevant as a bed bug, and you have to waste your whole family's time, and he has to leave his family to go to some meeting in probably Connecticut somewhere.
	Jesus Christ, New York Times, you are all pussies.
	Yes, that's a dehumanizing term.
	You're worse than bedbugs.
	You're pussies.
	You're wimps.
	You're losers.
	You are the bourgeoisie.
	Les bourgeoisie c'est comme la cuchant.
	That Jacques Brel song is about you.
	You suck.
	You're a puss.
	Which is South African for pussy.
	You call me a bed bug to my face because a lot of things people say on social media aren't the things they're really prepared to say in one-on-one interactions.
	I also copied his provost on the note.
	People are upset about this.
	I want to be clear.
	I had no intention whatsoever to get him in any kind of professional trouble, but it is the case that the New York Times How is that for cognitive dissonance?
	He CCs.
	The provost is the professor's boss.
	Fuck the police's boss.
	He CC's the professor's boss and said, I had no intention of him getting in any kind of professional trouble.
	Well, then why'd you CC him?
	Well, because I thought the provost should be aware of how the professors are behaving.
	That's such a shitty lie.
	It's the kind of shitty lie a loser pussy like Brett Stevens would spew.
	And it's insulting because the fact that he expects us to believe shit like that, fuck you.
	This is a level of stupidity that's insulting to the viewer.
	Times in other institutions that people should be aware, managers should be aware of the way in which their people, their professors or journalists, interact with the rest of the world.
	That's certainly the case with me at the New York Times.
	My editors are always aware of what I'm saying, and I've sometimes been called to account rightly so.
	Ethan posted my email on Twitter, so people are free to go and look at what I had to say.
	All I would say is that using dehumanizing rhetoric like bed bugs or analogizing people to insects is always wrong.
	We can do better.
	We should be the people on social media that we are in real life.
	Says who?
	Says who?
	Yeah.
	What the hell?
	You should always behave exactly as you do in real life.
	So you should talk about everything that he writes about in real life.
	The necessity of discomfort.
	Doesn't that just sum it up?
	They want to tell us how to live our lives, but when they experience a billionth of what we get, they have a heart attack.
	Look at the violence talk.
	The courts, the DA finds every single reference that I have to violence, takes out the self-defense part, changes people in quotes so you get to say that I said Barack Obama was a monkey.
	Everything is violence, violence, violence.
	And then it appears in court and these guys are facing nine years.
	The left is constant violence.
	That chick, oh, she's at MSNBC.
	She's the one who said that Sarah Huckabee Sanders should never feel safe.
	Reuben is her name.
	She was saying that Trump supporters aren't even human recently on MSNBC and they should be terrorized, what was it, for the rest of their lives?
	Do you remember this?
	Deserves a life sentence.
	Yes, she said Sarah Sanders deserves a life sentence.
	So harass her constantly.
	But recently, if you look her up by searching.
	I do think there's one point that they miss, however, and that is you have to do what is most effective.
	What are you doing?
	We've got the Sarah Huckabee Sanders thing.
	I want the new Jennifer Rubin.
	I've never seen that.
	I know you haven't seen anything.
	Yeah, but some people out there's got that.
	All right, so her name is Ruben, Jennifer Rubin.
	Just Ruben.
	And then just hit news.
	Ruben MSNBC News.
	Boy, isn't it fun you guys get to watch an internship?
	Here we go.
	Wait, go back to the headline.
	Only way to purge GOP is to burn down the Republican Party with no survivors.
	Is that not perchance smidge violent?
	That kind of talk?
	Call me kooky.
	Seems a little harsh.
	Anyway, yeah.
	They get to talk like that, but we can't talk like that.
	Well, that's not how it works, folks.
	That's not fair.
	But speaking of fairness, I think it's very important that we deeply examine examples of people using rascals to, what's the word I'm looking for?
	Inflict justice on the populace.
	Let's go now to Attack of the Super Rascals.
	I'll be your doctor.
	You'll be my doctor.
	You'll be mine.
	You'll be mine.
	What is it with these gigantic fat pigs and their rascals?
	First of all, if you're so fat that you need a rascal to get around, the last thing you need is a rascal to get around.
	If you have trouble walking, walk more.
	It doesn't apply to everything.
	If you have trouble seeing, I'm not going to say see more.
	If you have trouble breathing, I'm not going to say breathe more.
	But when it comes to walking, the more walking you do, the easier it is.
	And the worst thing you can do for someone who is so fat they can't walk is give them something where they don't have to walk.
	They're going to get fatter and they're going to need more rascal.
	So there's a phenomenon going on with these rascalites, the super rascals we call them, where they think they can kick ass and take names.
	And I think it might have to do with you're driving around, you want to go over there.
	When I want to go over there, I have to go do, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot.
	That takes some effort.
	They just, the slightest tweak of the wrist and they're over there.
	And the next thing you know, they think they're transformers.
	And they're just going.
	So let's look at some examples of these people who think being a fat pig on a mobility scooter is a superpower.
	All right, so this one in the black dress is problematic.
	She's instigating the fight, making kids cry, saying, kill that bitch.
	Someone needs to take care of her.
	Get her out of here.
	Super rascal.
	Thanks the day.
	Thanks the day.
	I mean, in that sense, it was probably good that she showed up to break it up.
	What's the next one you got?
	Because there's a couple of those.
	The Australian 60 Minutes one.
	Oh, no, this is good too.
	We've already shown this on the show, but it's important that we have a thorough compendium of all of these rascal day savers.
	So this is an incompetent fire lady who's not strong enough or doesn't know enough about physics to get that off that thing.
	So she goes...
	So we're just going to put it out.
	If everybody can help me out, whoa, whoa, whoa!
	I'll help you put it out.
	Look, it actually ends up surrounding the thing for a little bit there.
	Can you go back a bit?
	When he first runs it over, he subsumes the hula hoop.
	Like, it becomes him.
	No, no, it's okay.
	Somehow he defies physics behind that car, and then it goes through him.
	Maybe they are magic.
	Maybe they do have superpowers.
	So anyway, she puts it out the normal way, which is with big fat black clots, not the super rascal way, where you just drive the fire away.
	But see if you can dig up the Australian 60 Minutes one, which is another thing we've already had on the show.
	I'm sorry to repeat myself here.
	But after Lara Logan was gang raped by Arabs, another blonde 60 Minutes, this time it was Australia, thought, I know, let's go confront some Muslims.
	Let's go confront some refugees.
	And that'll probably go way better than it did for Lara Logan.
	They'll probably treat me with tons of respect.
	Remember how this went?
	And as we prepare to go, young men masking their faces arrive.
	Good, good, good, good.
	You're doing good.
	Australians can fight.
	Be careful.
	And attack.
	Go!
	Feel free!
	Go!
	He lost his focus there.
	Don't you punch.
	Ooh, we got a punching.
	Excuse me.
	Please, please, please.
	Get out of here.
	No, no, we are leaving.
	This isn't stockpiled.
	You see the rascal there for a second.
	The gang's attention turns when a local intervenes and drives his mobility scooter into the most violent attack.
	Wait a minute.
	I'm changing my mind here.
	I'm starting to realize that these guys are saviors.
	They do save the day.
	I mean, we've seen nothing but good so far, right?
	We had the woman who took care of that big black lady who was instigating a fight.
	We've got the refugee one.
	And then what was the one we just saw?
	The fire.
	The fire.
	The guy put out a fire.
	So I'm sorry.
	Sometimes we learn together here.
	So far, out of the, I think we have six of these videos, three of them are people creating justice in the Western world.
	Oh, now this one.
	Look how many people own this video.
	FreeSpeech.tv is branded it.
	And WorldStar Hip Hop and Little Havana.
	Now, this is an example of a middle-aged woman who just compresses a man for calling her mother a bitch.
	Yo, don't get involved.
	Wait, no, no, go back to the beginning.
	You're at the end there.
	Go to the very beginning.
	It starts out, she's got him.
	But she's got him in a real grip.
	He's compressed.
	She's shrinking him.
	She's turning him into a panini sandwich.
	Don't call her mother a bitch.
	Very simple.
	I like how we're not calling the cops too.
	just handling it.
	Oh, and then she gets some wallops in.
	Yo, don't get involved.
	Boy, 45-year-old women sure are strong in Miami.
	Oh, she gets another nice kraken.
	You know, genetically, it's kind of looking like your mom is a bitch.
	Because you sure are.
	All right.
	Now, so we've covered the ones we've already covered.
	Now let's look at...
	It looks like they're in Britain, right?
	Dames Workshop.
	So those two, just stop, stop, stop.
	I want to ruin the surprise.
	So these two old ladies right here, they're annoying.
	And you know, when you're downtown, especially in Britain, and there's some old lady running her mouth or the big stupid grocery bag, blah, blah, blah.
	And you just think, get these bitches out of here.
	Well, guess who's here to save the day?
	Some other bitch on a rascal.
	Boom.
	Oh, my God.
	Sorry to laugh.
	Add a boom.
	She just piles them up.
	And she's, is that a guy?
	I think it's a guy.
	Yeah, it's a young man.
	Why did he do that?
	What was the impetus?
	So out of the six here, the first three were clear examples of justice.
	The fourth one, well, he called the mom a bitch.
	She was compressed, panini style.
	Sure.
	Fifth one, we're going to have to be ambiguous about.
	We don't know the situation.
	I highly doubt you can think of a scenario where two old ladies deserve to be stacked like body bags.
	What are they saying, Gran Torino?
	We used to stack you gooks like sandbags in the war.
	So I don't think, I don't, I can't think of a scenario where a geriatric old lady deserves to be treated like a sandbag.
	But in this scenario, we have people fighting back.
	Whatever you think about rascals, this is for people who are mad at them.
	So this is the final anti-rascal video.
	Now, when we came up with this concept, we hadn't ironed it out that much, clearly.
	And we thought it'd be a bunch of examples of people and rascals being dicks.
	And then it ends with revenge.
	But we don't really, we have one maybe example of someone being a dick and a rascal.
	But anyway, here is some revenge.
	What's on her left hand?
	Can you turn it up?
	So he's blocking her in.
	Oh!
	Now wait a minute.
	Just pause.
	If this person is sincerely paralyzed, then he'd be like a turtle right now, unable to get up, right?
	Let's see how paralyzed he is.
	That's it.
	I scooted!
	I scooted!
	You did!
	He literally said, my precious scooter.
	And where'd the wheels go?
	They just vanished.
	Oh, that's the front wheels right there.
	You turned!
	I've come to police!
	You're going to jail!
	Look, I don't care if they're vigilantes fighting for justice.
	I don't care what the background is.
	I hate people on rascals because they symbolize everything wrong with society today, and that is obesity, greed, sloth, laziness, and a sense of self-importance that is not deserved.
	I'll be a doctor.
	Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh You know what?
	If you want, oops, here's all a skew.
	If you want that song in your life, if you want to listen to that song when you're cleaning your room or something, you don't like music, so turn it off.
	Got to trust your instincts sometimes.
	I knew rascals were bad.
	I knew I don't like the people in them.
	If you were paralyzed, you'd be in a wheelchair.
	Rascals, by definition, mean I don't deserve this.
	And holy shit at Disneyland, were they chalk a block?
	I told you I kept wanting to go up to them and go, hey, my father has multiple sclerosis.
	What's your impairment?
	Because he has a similar rascal that he rides around in.
	Does it hurt your spina bifida?
	Oh, sorry, what is your impairment?
	I guarantee you if I did that, and I didn't have the balls to do it, 100% of the time they wouldn't have a real problem.
	They'd just say, oh, my knees hurt if I walk too much.
	The knees, yes.
	Because I'm too fat.
	Speaking, by the way, this is someone who has not boxed for all of August.
	I've become a fat fucking pig again.
	I must weigh 200 pounds.
	You become a double FP.
	The doctor asked that today.
	A double FP, fat fucking pig?
	Yeah.
	He said, how old are you?
	And I mean, how much do you weigh?
	And I said, probably 200 by now.
	And then he proceeded to blast my ear trying to get the wax out for an hour and a half to no avail.
	It's still in there.
	I cannot hear anything out of this ear.
	And you know what he ended up giving me?
	This is after I've already done a prescription of drops.
	A stool softener.
	And I went to the pharmacy and I said, they go, there's a mistake here.
	This is not.
	And it's over the counter too, so I don't know why you're here.
	And I said, oh, I didn't know it was over the counter, but I'll be there.
	Wait, are you going to show a video of impacted wax?
	Oh, it's cool.
	They got a camera in there.
	Yeah.
	That's the situation I'm like now.
	Oh, gosh, dude.
	Yeah, I hate that when your ears don't pop.
	I even hate that.
	But do you feel it physically or just impaired?
	It's just like I have one ear plug in.
	That's awful.
	It sucks.
	Is that disgusting to you?
	No.
	That's not a butthole.
	It's like amber.
	It doesn't bother me.
	Wait, this is going to get way more disgusting.
	Yeah, that's why girls love watching this type of stuff.
	This type of stuff?
	Yeah.
	Why do they love it?
	They all love pimple popping.
	Name one girl who ain't like pimple popping.
	Oh, man.
	This lucky bastard.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, for real.
	Dude.
	So what go to your doctor?
	What's going on with yours?
	You can't.
	I don't know.
	It's kind of like smeared.
	I don't like showing disgusting stuff.
	I don't find this particularly disgusting.
	No, it's not.
	Oh, my God.
	This guy's going to walk out of there.
	He's going to hear car tires, birds like a block away.
	Holy shit.
	This is the biggest one I've ever seen.
	Dude, maybe this is disgusting.
	It's like a date.
	It looks like a little date.
	It's got something in it.
	It's like a peanut.
	Did this imbecile put a peanut in his ear?
	I'm pretty sure he didn't.
	It's like a mosquito and sap.
	It's like white on the inside.
	Like in Jurassic Park.
	Dude, did you put a peanut in your ear?
	That'd be funny if you were a doctor who was funny.
	Dude, is this a peanut?
	Look at me.
	Did you put a peanut in your ear?
	He does a sleight of hand, he eats it, pretends.
	That can't just be wax.
	I don't know.
	Looks like two bones in there.
	That's got to be something else.
	I think that dummy put something in his goddamn ear.
	Anyway, find that doctor.
	I don't care if he's in Singapore.
	I'm going there.
	You could afford to do that.
	That is kind of fun.
	Dr. Paul.
	Two weeks.
	Yeah, it's bad.
	And I do a show where my co-host, engineer guy, is on to my left.
	Right.
	For the live show?
	It was okay.
	Do you feel more tuned into it, like your own voice, too?
	No, and why did you wear headphones when you did the mailbag?
	Because I need to hear my elements, my sound.
	I got to make sure the sound's right.
	What?
	Because if it, let's say it's coming through the speaker, but the speaker's loud.
	Now I don't know what the people at home are hearing.
	That's not what it's being recorded as.
	So for too long, the people have been hearing bad audio, frankly.
	We're out of time.
	I just wanted to get to the rascals.
	That was the important thing.
	But as always, we'll do Mailbag tomorrow, and tomorrow we'll do a fun Antifa update.
	Tomorrow will be the Antifa show.
	I just want to show you one of the worst fights ever, and I believe it's in my hometown of Glasgow, Scotland.
	So it's disappointing because that is the fight capital of the world.
	But these guys cannot throw punches.
	These are some of the worst punches I've ever seen.
	Turn it up.
	I've noticed there's a lot of, what are you going to do?
	Come on, hit me.
	And then the guy does.
	He's got these long, sort of like lancing jabs that don't, they're not going to land.
	It's almost like they're pushes, but with a fist on the end.
	I feel like you could stand in front of them and not be hurt.
	Whoa.
	That was a cool twirl from the old man.
	He's peppy.
	See, it's pushing.
	And the other guy's never been in a fight either.
	How could you never have been in a fight in Glasgow?
	Maybe times have changed over there, huh?
	Yeah.
	I turn back!
	Just walk away, I know where I turn back!
	He's kind of got like your brother's build.
	Yeah.
	No, he's a little fatter than...
	Kyle's just solid.
	He's definitely got some sort of boxing-ish moves.
	It's probably just from watching.
	Get a waste of my time.
	Look at those punches.
	Those are girl punches.
	Hammer fist, yeah.
	Smack down?
	It's like what a baboon does.
	Did we already see his belly?
	Yeah.
	So he keeps going.
	He's about to pick up a dead pigeon and throw it at the guy, which I've never seen before.
	There we go.
	Oh my god.
	Wow, I did not see that coming.
	I know every fight you want it to end with a knockout, but a dead pigeon will do.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Put this on and wait for me.
	I'll check you out from head to feet.

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