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Aug. 16, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:05:40

GOML LIVE #8 | PRETTY GIRLS SHOULD NOT WALK DOWN THE STREET WITH THEIR MOMS

Pre-taped call-in Episode. Do women really turn into their mothers? It seems like looking at a girl's mom can be a time machine into her future. We take some calls and Gavin wraps up the show up with some air drums.

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Oh, live from New York, it's Get Off My Juan with Gavin McInnes.
	Watch this!
	Bad boys in London, rude boys in England, bad boys rude boys in England, bad boys in Jerkown, rude boys in Kingston.
	Watch out!
	You never know the gangsta, missing them in the jungle.
	Here it comes.
	So drum and bass was big in the 90s.
	And Britain started getting Jamaicans involved, as they want to do with all their pop music, even punk.
	And they started getting these Rasta, Ragga MCs on top of the music.
	And they sped it up faster.
	And so you had this weird music that was now called Jungle.
	And that was Shy FX was the DJ, still a DJ, but the sort of hit man, the Jamaican screaming his head off was UK Apache.
	And wow, that stuff blew our minds when we were in our 20s.
	Can you play more of that song?
	Yep.
	It's got a video, right?
	It doesn't look Jamaican.
	It doesn't look black.
	Okay, so you kind of get the idea.
	Yeah.
	But then those guys just got to be giant loudmouths and they started dominating the whole thing and they just would not shut up.
	And the next thing you know, it wasn't fun going to see Jungle.
	I'm not picking my nose when I do this, by the way.
	I'm itching the inside of my nostril.
	Ryan cleans up too much in here and there's always dust particles or he did clean up I shouldn't know he doesn't clean up too much studio is a shithole but one day he cleaned up and it brought up a lot of dust but another song that has this sort of heavy intro like that with the Jamaican MC is what are they called the bug the bug poison dart poison dart now this is a real slow start you have to be patient but when it finally kicks in it's like being murdered turn it up
	Sometimes I'll DJ songs like this at home until the kids cry.
	Wait, go back.
	Wait, go back.
	I ruined that by talking.
	I made a video of that but I used footage from a Ho-Chunk powwow with people, with Indians fancy dancing and all that.
	It's actually called "Fancy Dancing." Anyway, that's great. that's great.
	Dub Shaka!
	Pretty girls should not walk down the street with their moms.
	That's the title of this.
	The new thing with the show, now that we have a musical intro, is we have to wait for me to say the first sentence.
	So we're changing that, unfortunately.
	But I just saw this chick.
	She was like a crazy Hispanic 8.7.
	She had these weird tiger eyes.
	She looked like a lion.
	And her hair was doing that thing where it sort of flips over.
	You know, like it's, they sort of take this side and go over there and it's just sort of hanging down.
	Undercut, yeah.
	But it wasn't shaved.
	Oh no?
	It's like when they just take this and they go like that.
	Oh yeah, like that.
	That's cool.
	And it's all floppy, and she's got, like, Nikes on, and her Lululemon, she's just going for a walk.
	And it's that, you know, if I was single, I would be thinking, I need to just steal her, put her in a van, and maybe she'll get Stockholm Syndrome after the first year, and we'll get married.
	But then her mom was there, and it was a little time machine where we could see what's going to happen to this girl, and it ain't pretty, boy, literally.
	Her mother was a hideous wild boar with short hair.
	She looked like she'd just been shit out of a rat.
	Wow, that is not flattering.
	Yeah, her face was puffy and looked like she just woke up and she had on just like gross sweatpants shorts and flip-flops with her disgusting dirty feet.
	And her hair was sort of like mine.
	It was just like greasy and slicked back and kind of balding in spots.
	And you just sort of go, lady, this is really bad advertising for you.
	I hope you're not near any suitors, because you don't want them to see what's gonna happen.
	You want to convince them that you're going to be hot forever.
	Which, by the way, is why I hate people getting mad at photoshopping pictures.
	That's how you see women when you're in love.
	They look like goddesses, so they're simulating that.
	I've had girlfriends I was madly in love with.
	I thought this is the one.
	Couldn't get over how perfect she was.
	And then I'll just sort of like go through some old photographs and I'll see her and I'll be like, that's Susan?
	That's the one I was obsessed with?
	She's hideous!
	But I had brainwashed myself with the endorphins and everything into falling in love with her.
	So I think magazines are allowed to monitor that.
	Anyway, this is a pre-taped episode.
	We recorded this last week.
	I'm in Breezy Point right now enjoying myself.
	We'll be shooting some episodes live from Breezy Point starting Monday, maybe?
	Tuesday.
	Yeah, Tuesday.
	Because Monday we're going to have to shoot another vidcast.
	You're going to get two of these in a row.
	The next Get Off My Lawn free audio podcast and live streamed Vidcast is this Monday.
	This Thursday you're seeing now was recorded last Thursday.
	Again, it's the Mr. Show sketch with the call-in guy.
	Can you go back to that sketch?
	Are you still got it up?
	I could get it.
	Get it up.
	Mr. Show.
	He has a live call-in show, but it's not, it's not live.
	It's recorded a week before.
	So all the calls are on the wrong subject and he keeps getting more and more angry until he has a nervous breakdown at the end.
	Okay, uh, look, if you wanted to talk about pet care, you should have called two weeks ago when our show on racism was airing.
	Okay, I'm doing a show about the elderly right now, which, of course, few people watching means calling about cooking.
	Okay, we'll see if we... Hello.
	Yeah, hi, uh, what's going on?
	I mean, you're doing a show about pet care, but everybody's talking about racism?
	I don't... No, no, okay, no, no, no.
	No, I'm not doing a show about pet care.
	I like this new thing where you stick it up in the corner like that.
	Yeah, it's for a weekend update.
	David's a good actor.
	Here we go.
	Hello?
	Yes, I'd like to talk about my grandma.
	Oh, all right.
	Yeah.
	Okay, good.
	Okay, well, uh, she has this cat that's keeping her up at night, and, uh... Well, sir, sir, can I just say that difficulty with sleeping is a common problem with the elderly of today.
	No, it's not.
	Yeah, but I really think the cat is more the problem.
	I mean, the cat's rambunctious.
	No, no, no, sir, obviously your elderly grandmother is the problem, because that's what this week's show is about!
	Yeah, but I'm watching the show right now.
	Idiots!
	It's simple!
	Look at this!
	This is what's airing right now!
	The Pet Care Show!
	Listen!
	I'm talking about this!
	That's hilarious.
	That was the punch, right?
	No, it keeps going, you loser!
	You wrecked it!
	Listen to me for the last time.
	Crime on the streets happened last week.
	And look, he has more and more hair as they go back in time.
	And that concludes our first show, Crime in the Streets.
	I can't help but think it would have gone a little better had somebody actually called in, but I guess that's because you won't see me until next week.
	Oh well.
	As soon as we get the kinks worked out here, I'm sure it's going to be a great, great show.
	You know what?
	We should sample that.
	Thank you for watching.
	And play it at the end of every episode.
	I'm sure when we get the kinks worked out, it's going to be a great, great show.
	That is fun.
	Let's, uh, let's take a call.
	Oh, we had an interesting call, uh, letter since we last spoke.
	And by the way, if the president has been assassinated or we're at a civil war, um, this show is going to seem a little flippant.
	Uh, if there was a mass shooting this morning, I apologize for not dealing with it.
	I didn't know this show was recorded a week ago.
	Um, if anyone's been raped, if Ryan's dead, this must be a spooky episode to see a dead man.
	If I was assassinated in breezy point.
	Or if I just assassinated going to my favorite bar, Strange Love on 53rd and 3rd.
	A bar that loves me because of the Proud Boys.
	Um, just quickly, the reason you were feeling so jacked up after drinking a cup of Cavefe is because you keep drinking light roast, which has way more caffeine than a dark roast.
	I did not know that.
	I didn't know that at all.
	What are you doing with your hair now, you annoying?
	You play with your hair like someone in jail.
	Uh, you have the potencies of the roast switched in your head.
	Drink the dark roast for less caffeinated buzz.
	Uhuru, no schnapps.
	Oh, well that's a good time to plug Covfefe.
	So, just to be clear, the medium roast is still the medium roast.
	The dark roast has less caffeine, according to our recent letter, than this, which is the Red Pill Light Roast.
	Isn't that weird?
	Why would the light be more intense?
	Maybe because it's roasted less, so it keeps more of the caffeine.
	But I always thought dark was dark.
	Hey, Cavefe guys, if you're watching, maybe have like a caffeine chart on it?
	Like a rating of 1 to 4?
	Do you Kevfeh?
	We are living in a clown world where people are more concerned with identity politics than the truth, even when it comes to their own identities.
	But Kevfeh is made in the USA by a pro free speech MAGA man.
	It is the MAGA coffee.
	And if you go to doyoukevfeh.com right now, that's D O Y-O-U and then C-O-V-F-E-F-E.
	C-O-V-F-E-F-E.
	Doyoucavefe.com and put in the promo code GAVIN and you will get free shipping on two bags or more.
	We drink it here on the show.
	We like it more than a friend.
	It is mega delicious.
	Oh look, they've got shirts.
	And that mug.
	And that, that guy's a hunk.
	What a hunkasaurus rex.
	I'm gonna start taking testosterone.
	Don't do that.
	No, there's a thing you can get where it's not testosterone because you're not supposed to take testosterone.
	You know why?
	Balding and balls.
	I don't mind balls.
	I do mind balding.
	Shrinky balls and balding.
	That's kind of a deal-breaker.
	This is my last attractive feature I have and I can see it dwindling.
	I lose this and I have nothing but my incredible wit and money and fame and influence.
	Well, this thing is supposed to increase your ability to make testosterone.
	Cause the problem with just taking testosterone is when you stop, your body has forgotten how to make testosterone and you start growing tits.
	Damn.
	I don't want tits.
	I don't want to be bald.
	And I actually could care less about having micro balls.
	I know a guy who, who took tons and tons of testosterone and he's a beefcake now.
	And I go, what about the balls thing?
	And he goes, one time a girl was going down there and I could see her sort of go, what the, eh?
	Besides that, nothing.
	Yeah, who really cares?
	It's not like girls are talking about our balls all day.
	Welcome back to Ball Talk, where we're going to try to guess what Brad Pitt's testicles look like.
	There we go.
	Signs of low T. Mood changes.
	No motivation.
	Increased emotionality.
	Hair loss.
	Fatigue.
	Lack of energy.
	Wait, hair loss if you're losing it?
	Hair loss if you're gaining it?
	I guess it's just a tightrope walk with this hair thing.
	That's the bald community.
	What do you call it?
	The military bald industrial complex controlling our lives.
	Damn.
	Alright, we should take a call.
	Those guys have been waiting since last week, technically.
	Yes.
	All right, we got Brandon on the line talking about immigrants and movies and Indians.
	Yeah, stuff like that.
	What's up, dude?
	Whenever I said that, I didn't really say it correctly, so I'm sure I said it weird.
	It's all right.
	Don't care.
	Basically, there's a movie called The Hundred Foot Journey, and it's about these Indian immigrants in France.
	The thing I've noticed about all these Indian movies, like, where they go to someone else, is that they're always these wise agents.
	There's never, like, any dead bodies.
	They're always where, sorry?
	My mother-in-law is, like, super obsessed with these movies, and I can't figure out why.
	I'm having trouble understanding you.
	So you're talking about all these Indian movies, like Yesterday and the Bruce Springsteen one we were talking about?
	These, like, Western movies with Indian protagonists?
	Is that what you're talking about?
	Yeah, basically they're never just like normal guys or anything.
	They're always like somehow wise and they have all these like insights on life that they say in a really cool way, you know?
	Well, not the other two movies I just mentioned.
	Why are Indians taking over British cinema?
	I haven't seen those.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Thanks for your call.
	That was fun.
	That one stank.
	Is he still on the line as I say that?
	Yes.
	You stank, dude.
	Sorry, sir.
	Sorry, sir.
	You stunk.
	Why are East Indians always wise in movies?
	I don't know.
	Boring.
	Next.
	That killed the whole rhythm of the show.
	Oh my god.
	Jared, gun control, you're on.
	What's up, dude?
	Hey, um, can you hear me okay?
	Yes.
	I noticed that you always talk so highly of the police, and I live in New York myself.
	And with all this safe acting shit getting shoved down our throats, I mean, sure, we can be mad at the governor because he passed it, but your practice, rank, and file are the ones that are going to be shooting my dog and raiding my house because I have a pistol grip on the AK.
	So how do you balance both those things, if you're a conservative and pro-freedom, which I believe you are?
	This reminds me of a letter I got that says, fellow New Yorker here, I know you're not a crazy gun guy, sure you own them, but you aren't really 1776-ing like Alex Jones or myself.
	You speak so highly of your cop buddies, but these cops are the very reason I worry about my magazine capacity for my AK.
	Is that you?
	Yeah.
	I didn't know if it's sent or not.
	Yeah, I got the letter.
	I was going to read it on yesterday's show, but I didn't get to it.
	Yeah, I guess you're right.
	The cops will have to come take our guns if that ever happens.
	But they're going to be doing it reluctantly.
	I don't know why you see them today as someone who wants to fuck with you.
	They hate gun laws.
	And every time I talk to a cop about my own protection, they always say, dude, you just got to get a gun.
	And I say, I have a gun, but I can't take a gun on my hip in Manhattan.
	And they go, I know, it sucks.
	And here's another thing, sir.
	All these cop laws in New York are coming down hard on cops.
	Retired cops are having to retake courses and some of them are losing their guns.
	That's how strict it's getting.
	They have all these new renewable re-up programs.
	Yeah, I know.
	And that's confusing because they said I used all that pension money to leave New York.
	Because cops now get acceptance for everything.
	So they are a higher class of personnel over both same hardworking people and family.
	But if I have a 30-year-old magazine, I'm going to lose my freedom and my kids are going to be homeless.
	Like, it's fucked up.
	But I don't see them out there publicly denouncing these gun laws because if they did, then we wouldn't have to worry about them at all.
	Cops can't do shit.
	Another thing people seem to think is that cops have power.
	When Proud Boys got arrested, I knew a million cops.
	They couldn't do shit for me.
	All they did was say, wow, I don't know who you pissed off, but you really seem to have fucked up.
	They can't, like, the most thing, the most a cop friend could do... I guess I just have a bad taste in my mouth from experience, so maybe I should try being less biased.
	Go for a ride along.
	Everyone in the country should go for a ride along.
	And you will see that these guys are just basically babysitters for the stupidest and most useless people in your community.
	Alright, thanks for calling, buddy.
	I thought having tons of cop friends would give me this sort of secret Gestapo-like power.
	It might get you out of a parking ticket.
	It might help you if someone's doxing you or, sorry, if something's death-threatening you.
	They might help you find out who he is and where he lives by running his phone number.
	Sometimes they'll run a plate for you, but very rarely because that requires a bunch of paperwork.
	That's about it.
	There's no like getting your cop buddies to throw one of these annoying bloggers in jail for no reason or anything cool like that.
	Yeah.
	We got a John wants to talk about little Stevie.
	Okay.
	Hey John.
	Hi John.
	Hey, am I on?
	Yep.
	All right.
	Yeah.
	So little Stevie's shimmy.
	Is the gayest thing I've ever seen and it made me do some research on him.
	And I wanted to find out why he had those rags on his head.
	So he, he said he got in a car accident and it messed up his scalp.
	But I looked at his old pictures of him and he had, he's just a bald guy.
	Yeah.
	So I think my theory is that he thinks that that's cooler than he's just, than just being a bald guy.
	Correct.
	And it's really lame, and it's kind of insulting to the rest of us.
	It's like the guy, The Edge, in U2, thinking, we can't see your bald because you have a hat on.
	Do you think I'm stupid?
	He dresses like he has cancer and acts like he has AIDS.
	Right.
	But, um, I, oh, he's... And why choose the rag on the head?
	Just wear a hat.
	Or if you actually have scars on your head, that's grounds for a toupee, in my opinion.
	Yeah, or get fake hair plugs.
	If you having hair is so important to you, and you're a rock star, and you don't want anyone to know you're bald, then don't be bald.
	Shit, we don't even have to be deaf anymore, we can get cochlear implants.
	But the annoying thing about the way he dances with the boss in that video is that he's looking at Bruce Springsteen like he's sexy and they're both doing this sort of like well Bruce isn't doing it but he's doing this sort of like you want me so bad like you know when a guy is in a fight and he becomes a black dude and he's like Yo, what's up?
	Don't step to me, motherfucker!
	You're making a big mistake!
	And you're like, why are you becoming a black dude?
	I think he is, he goes, okay, I'm trying to be sexy, and then he accidentally becomes a chick, because that's his only vocabulary with sexy.
	So the next thing you know, he's like a sports illustrator.
	Right, and he's also the least sexy guy ever, so it makes it even more funny.
	Yeah.
	It's a bad look, but there is something much gayer in the history of rock, and that would be Billy Squire.
	Are you familiar with this video?
	It ruined his career.
	No.
	Billy Squire, what was it?
	Take me in your arms!
	Rock me tonight?
	Rock me tonight!
	Thanks for calling, caller.
	And thanks for showing us what could be the gayest... It's not the gayest thing in the world, though.
	The gayest thing in the world is this video.
	And it ruined Billy Squire's career.
	He was over after this.
	We'll just show you something.
	If you folks just listening to the audio can't see it, you can look up this video.
	What's it called?
	Rock Me Tonight?
	Yes.
	He's doing the same exact thing.
	They go, be sexy.
	And he goes, well, I've never seen a man be sexy.
	I've seen women be sexy.
	I know I'll be a woman.
	Look at his shirt.
	Yeah.
	yeah i think he's trying to do like a mick jagger thing that's so strange - What?
	It's like retarded and gay at the same time.
	It's gay-tarded.
	Look at this, crawling.
	He's so sexy.
	Women love men who crawl, don't they?
	Is this his audition tape for being one of the wild boys in that Duran Duran video?
	It's like a male flash dance.
	I've heard him say, I've heard him talk about how this video ruined his career, and also him say like, how come the choreographer let me get away with it?
	Right.
	How come that guy didn't lose his career?
	Is that the same guy who lets Tony Stark pick out his own outfits?
	What a spaz.
	And that was back, too, when no one was gay.
	Like, nothing was gay.
	Yeah, effeminate was just cool.
	We hated disco because it was gay.
	We didn't even know what disco was.
	I remember being nine years old, and I had a brown t-shirt that said, Death to Disco with a skull on it.
	And my babysitter said, oh, you hate disco?
	I fucking right I hate it.
	I wanted to die, clearly.
	And then she puts on like Blondie or something, Heart of Glass, a disco song.
	And she goes, what do you think of that song?
	I go, it was really cool.
	Who is that?
	And she goes, that's disco.
	And I went... So my point is, back in the early 80s, late 70s, you didn't do that.
	Men were men, women were women.
	There was no crossover like now.
	Now, Billy Squire would probably be doing great.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Get back to the calls.
	All right.
	We got a teacher, the Angie dog running on teachers.
	Get it?
	What?
	Something here.
	Uh, it, like whatever you say, it tries to transcribe it.
	I know that if you, if it doesn't make any sense, don't say it.
	Just so she knows what?
	Just say your name.
	Angie.
	Oh Angie.
	Angie, you there?
	Hello?
	Oh, you sound like a dude.
	What's your name, dude?
	Yeah, I was calling about my fellow teacher's cat.
	You know, it's been cuffing up a lot of hairballs, and I just wondered, since we're talking about pets today, what you think.
	Sir, that's last week.
	Listen to me.
	Listen closely.
	This is a pre-taped show.
	If you wanted to talk about cats, you could have called in last week.
	That was the cat week.
	This week, we're talking about racism.
	Sheesh.
	hang up on him.
	Sheesh.
	It's pretty simple, guys!
	Alright, Gabriel Frogman.
	Wait, oh wait, is this Gabriel or Gabriel?
	Gabriel Gabriel.
	Hello?
	Hey man.
	Hey buddy, so I'm a little bit concerned that you're not talking about the news this morning.
	I mean, you do realize that Milo literally painted the Statue of Liberty blue, right?
	Yes.
	But why are you not talking about that?
	I'm getting to that.
	That's a great segue to get into the news of the day!
	Folks, welcome to Get Off My Lawn, the live vidcast where we will be discussing obviously one of the greatest art pranks in the history of the world, but definitely New York City, is Milo Yiannopoulos, friend of the show, he's got a show on this show, painted the Statue of Liberty completely blue.
	And you heard it here, obviously after everyone else, because this is later on in the day, but that definitely happened.
	And we'll be taking your calls to discuss it.
	And by the way, Ryan is Googling it right now because he thinks it's true.
	Oh.
	Oh, I see.
	Oh, I get it.
	Oh my God.
	Wait, I get it.
	Oh my God.
	It's a paradox.
	You are... First of all, Ryan, we're not live streaming this right now.
	Right.
	So how would he know?
	You're an offense to dinks all around the world.
	Holy crap.
	I just... Yeah, good point, caller.
	I don't want to call him a cock, because I have one of those in my pants right now, and I don't want him in my pants.
	Ouch.
	Goodbye.
	Right.
	You were looking it up?
	Yeah.
	How does your brain operate?
	I don't know, man.
	No one can hear... The only people who can hear this...
	Oh my god.
	So he's not from the future?
	Yeah, Ryan.
	Time travel's impossible.
	It was such an obvious, good quality, reasonable joke.
	Yes.
	This guy, I said, I won't be able to know if there's major news that day.
	He comes up with something that would be international news.
	You know how hard it would be to paint the Statue of Liberty blue?
	You would be caught?
	You'd be caught within about 10 minutes of the first toe.
	In fact, the woman who was arrested for climbing it just made it to the toe.
	Yeah.
	Woman, by the way, from the Congo, who is here to tell us that our human rights record is deplorable.
	Excuse me, deplorable.
	Disgusting.
	We have a bad human rights record because we put people in cages.
	We recently took her in as a refugee from the Congo.
	Would you like to know about the Congolese Civil War?
	No, you would not, because it's the worst thing imaginable.
	I'll just give you a taste.
	Children at gunpoint being forced to rape their mothers.
	That's just one little tiny little sniff of what goes on in the Congo.
	But the second she gets here, she goes, thanks for the green card.
	Anyway, you guys suck.
	She's just stupid, I guess.
	We got Devin online learning a new word.
	OK.
	I figured I'd tell you that, you know, the same holds true for tea as it does for coffee.
	If it's a lighter brewed tea, there's more caffeine.
	And if it's a darker, there's more antioxidants.
	So same thing, coffee, Anthony.
	Thank you very much for that information, sir.
	I learned something today.
	It's counterintuitive.
	Bud Light has less alcohol than Bud.
	But I get it.
	Well, also, I was just wondering, what are the chances you're going to bring back learning a new word?
	That was a good segment, and I held on to a lot of the words that you taught us.
	Oh, really?
	Okay, let's do that.
	Learning a new word is a new thing on the show.
	We're bringing that back.
	Awesome.
	Bye.
	Yeah, I mean, I guess I could read a dictionary, but I'm not a fucking nerd.
	Later, dude.
	Dane.
	You want to take another call?
	Yeah, let's take another call.
	Alright, we got Dane.
	90% Siri.
	What's up, Dane?
	Hold on a second.
	There you go, Dane.
	Hey, how's it going?
	The Great Dane.
	Hello?
	What's with these enormous pauses after we say, how's it going?
	You taking a haul on a cigarette?
	Oh, he dropped.
	Okay, we'll get back to him if he calls back in.
	Teacher talking about Gavin getting on a teacher.
	Okay.
	Teacher, teacher.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, last time I got the joke in about the cat, but what I really wanted to say is, Gavin's always giving us a hard time about teachers, but you have to realize that there's some of us out here that are a lot like you, and we have to deal with all those lefties all day long, and you should take it a little easy on us.
	Yeah, good point.
	I mean, I had a teacher on my old show, lesbian chick, who was teaching in a private school and they got a new affirmative action principal.
	And he comes in and he says, I don't like you having all these slave owners on your wall.
	And it was like George Washington, Andrew Jackson.
	It was just the founding fathers.
	She teaches American history.
	So she took a couple down and she put up like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, seriously.
	And he came back and said, that's not good enough.
	You're fired.
	He fired her for having slave owners on her.
	Yeah, it's really tough.
	Yeah, it must be insane.
	Oh my God, the teacher's lounge.
	Do you guys still have those where you can smoke and stuff?
	Well, we don't smoke, but, uh, anyway, I mean, the hard part is like, there's like one or two of us that are like you and around your age and understand everything.
	And then the rest of them are just psycho lefties.
	So if you say anything at all, it's, you know, hell to pay.
	And let me guess, the two of the guys who are MAGA and normal are male, and the lunatics are mostly female.
	Correct.
	That's the way it is.
	Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and women are not good with power.
	Well, how did they get the right to vote?
	They couldn't even vote in that vote.
	That's right.
	Yeah.
	It was a guy's idea.
	It was a guy's idea.
	What was your name again, sir?
	Why do you want his name?
	I would prefer not to say it.
	Why do you slow down the show with stupidity?
	And then it would just be... Yes.
	Thank you, sir.
	I apologize for my retarded sidekick here.
	Jesus Christ.
	He calls in and says... No, no, no.
	Don't apologize for him.
	I love his retardedness.
	He's trying to hang up on you, by the way.
	He calls in to say that he will be fired if he's ever outed, and you go, oh, what was your name, sir?
	Oh, yeah.
	Wow.
	You really are one for the books.
	I'm gonna have to reboot here with a word from our sponsor, Blue Chew.
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	Doobs?
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	Have better sex with Tadalafil and Sildanafil.
	Those must be the active ingredients that are in Viagra and also in Cialis.
	And it's a very effective tool.
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	Say two.
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	And I don't know.
	Say you always get it up and it's not a problem.
	Have it sit there for a year.
	Have it last.
	It's just insurance.
	It doesn't have to be part of your daily repertoire, especially in courting.
	You want the first few lays with your girl to be out of the park and being known as the guy who couldn't get it up.
	I remember there was this dude at my local bar, Max Fish.
	He couldn't get it up.
	This one, I was courting my girlfriend and one of her friends had gone home with him and he couldn't get it up.
	His name was David and they called him sad David.
	And I was letting on the joke through my wife, my girlfriend at the time, she's my wife now, and I would see them going, uh-oh, there's sad David.
	And I'd see him walk in like, hey, everyone, talking to people, oh, hey, Mark, how's it going?
	Hi.
	Oh, hi, Mark.
	Oh, hi, Mark.
	And I could see him through their eyes.
	It was really, really bad.
	I mean, plus imagine this scenario where you're just like trying and trying and we've all had that experience where it's just like, it's a piece of cloth.
	It's not even connected to your body anymore.
	It might as well be chopped off and you just have to go like, I guess I go down on her for a hundred years or something or it sucks.
	Anyway, BlueChew.com, B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com, promo code Gavin.
	Great for single guys out there trying to make an impression on their first date, but also great for married guys who want to remember what it was like to have a piece of wood between their legs.
	That doesn't sound very good.
	It's basically your 14-year-old boner back again.
	BlueChew turns your dick to wood.
	BlueChew, if you would like a 14-year-old boner in you, No, actually, you know, I tried Viagra with a chick once and she loved it.
	Like she took it.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	Cause it, it made the blood go down there.
	It inflames her.
	Yeah.
	So I'm not recommending this per se.
	There's all kinds of FDA requirements here and all this stuff I'm not supposed to say.
	I can't guarantee results.
	I can't say it cures the disease, but, um, outside of this commercial, you may want to try trying it with a chick.
	Yeah.
	You may want to try, God, I'm so sick of getting sued all the time.
	Um, yeah, I sometimes, you know, I was talking about that woman with the ugly mom.
	And sometimes I worry that my advice to guys about chicks is kind of based on being a married man and thinking about who would make a good mate.
	Like I'm thinking, will she age well?
	Uh, will she not cheat on you?
	Do you guys have things in common?
	But maybe that's my personal bias and it's possible some guys should get some bad wives out of the way.
	Like a crazy bitch.
	If a girl is hot, but has an ugly fat mom, what are the chances she will end up that way?
	I like your news source.
	You're like people in LA asking Chick Burger what the news is.
	Yes, Ryan, what are you doing?
	Boy, you're really sucking today.
	There's a thread on this.
	Yeah, but you're not contributing anything.
	So you thought Milo really, you thought we were in the future somehow and Milo painted the Statue of Liberty blue.
	You asked a guy who was going to get fired what his name is.
	That I just started googling just in case.
	And then I ask a question and you put the question on the screen with no answer.
	How is that helping?
	I thought that was going to be a better thread.
	But don't show it!
	Like check it on your own time.
	Isn't that your job?
	Oy vey.
	So yeah.
	I mean.
	I think the happiest couples are Catholic couples who marry their first love at 20 and just start churning them out right away.
	She stays at home.
	That's the ideal scenario, but that rarely happens.
	And when I'm giving you advice, I'm really, I'm so old now that I'm thinking about you getting married.
	So maybe I'm not the best guy to ask.
	Like there are some crazy bitches that you're never going to see again that will just be wonderful lays that will go down in history.
	You'll think about them for the rest of your lives, but they're not wife material.
	Must be weird these Italians with mistresses, eh?
	Where it's just accepted.
	Like where do they find the time?
	I gotta get back early today because my wife's in Breezy with my daughter and I gotta take care of my two boys.
	What are you squeezing a fare in?
	I gotta go see my guma.
	That implies they don't work very much.
	You get eight hours in the day, and in New York it's often nine or ten.
	Then you gotta get back, you try to eat with the fam.
	When are you having this guma?
	And you have to see her, I'd imagine, like three times a week.
	You know, I used to have this apartment on North 7th in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
	And Vito Conigliari was the landlord.
	And his dad had a... Is it a Goomar?
	Yeah.
	His dad had a Goomar and she had an apartment in Soho that he owned and he gave it to Vito after he died.
	But he said, make sure you take care of her because she took care of me my whole life.
	So he had to...
	He had to.
	This woman's rent, by the way, was like $90 a month.
	Wow.
	And she lived in Soho.
	And he would have to make sure she was OK.
	She's still dressed up.
	She would be like 78 years old.
	She had her hair up in that big sort of 1950s bun thing, leopard skin, you know, Johnny Cash's wife's jacket and little kitten heels.
	And Vito had to fix, and she was so old-fashioned, like she had an old radio that had tubes in it.
	And so to fix her radio, he'd have to go on eBay and buy tubes.
	And he's sitting there just waiting for her to die, because the apartment is probably worth six grand.
	So his whole life is changed.
	That's another $70,000 in his pocket.
	Rent control.
	If this fucking bitch would just die.
	Meanwhile he's in the mafia, he could have had to hunt a hunter?
	Still mad about this stupid Westies movie.
	What's it called?
	The Kitchen?
	The Kitchen.
	Melissa McCarthy is tearing the Westies a new ass.
	The scariest gang in the history of New York.
	The most violent gang possibly ever.
	I mean, sure, there's like the MS-13 guys in Mexico chopping off drug dealers' heads.
	Yes, you win.
	El Salvador, whatever that gang is down there, sure, you're great.
	You win the gore war.
	But as far as, wait, is this a different one?
	Oh, it looks different, yes!
	Stop, stop, stop.
	But as far as the civilized world, meaning blacks, Italians, and Irish guys, our gangs, our American gangs, the Westies are unprecedented.
	I mean, they say, even MS-13, ooh, they cut a guy's head off.
	Cutting someone's head off and their arms off, that was like an old boring routine.
	You get them in the bath, you take off all your clothes, so you're in your underwear there, just sawing dudes.
	One of the guys was a butcher and he taught them a lot of moves about chopping at the cartilage.
	Sometimes one of them would barf, they'd all laugh.
	Haha, you pussy!
	I'm just cutting a guy's nose off.
	Jesus Christ, what a wimp.
	That's just a normal day for them.
	They killed everyone.
	Hey, they kidnapped my mother and said we better stop what we're doing.
	Tell them to blow her fucking head off.
	She's a bitch.
	Uh...
	And eventually the Italians gave up fighting them.
	The Italians beat the FBI, the CIA, eventually, you know, Giuliani got them on the Rico stuff, and he got the Westies on the same thing.
	All organized crime got shut down.
	But the Westies, sorry, the Italian mafia basically beat everyone for decades, from Prohibition up until Giuliani, which was what?
	The 80s?
	The 90s?
	And they couldn't fuck with the Westies.
	Eventually they just treated them like pitbulls for hire and said, go kill our guys for us.
	Were those guys connected to the Boston, any of the Boston Irish gangs?
	I don't know.
	No, the Westies was specifically Hell's Kitchen, which is only like a five block radius.
	You're basically 43rd west of Times Square.
	Yeah.
	Do you think their higher ups were back in the old country, back in Ireland?
	Like it was connected?
	No, there's nothing Irish about it.
	So it wasn't a satellite.
	It was just Hell's Kitchen.
	Yeah.
	They had American accents.
	I mean, Mickey Spillane sort of picked up the, I guess they were originally Irish in the forties or whatever.
	You got to just mic up a little more with that.
	Mickey Spillane picked up the sort of loose cruise of the 40s and 50s and by the 60s he had the Westies established.
	So yeah, it's all like 53rd.
	It's 16... oh no.
	What is it now?
	Yeah, it's west of Times Square and it's around 51st to 38th or something.
	I don't know.
	Anyway, you know what it's all now?
	What?
	Gay bars?
	Fagtown.
	Yeah.
	Completely... so gay!
	That it looks fake, and if it was in a movie, you'd go, I hope someone got fired for this, because I just saw a guy wearing leather pants, a leather jacket, and a purple feather boa.
	Fags don't dress like that.
	This person's probably never even seen a gay.
	It looks like a joke.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Hi!
	Walking down with, like, necklaces, and big earrings, and purple fucking eyelashes with glitter on them, and big glitter beards.
	Like, way gayer than the West Village or Chelsea.
	It's like gay overdrive.
	It's where the gays from the West Village in Chelsea go who got kicked out for being too gay.
	And I talked to a guy, an old Irish dude who grew up there, and he said, I just got out of jail.
	And after five years of seeing guys holding hands down there, I didn't think I'd come home and see it in my own fucking neighborhood.
	Yeah.
	Dude, the Knights of Columbus down there in Hell's Kitchen have so many amazing Westies stories and I cannot get a microphone to their face.
	These things in the past should best stay in the past.
	Dude, you're 78 years old.
	Everyone you're talking about is dead.
	No one's gonna kill you.
	Please come on my show.
	You can do it anonymously.
	No thank you.
	No thank you.
	I think they think that I might be a spy.
	A bunch of them read The Death of Cool, but not in a fun way, just to suss me out.
	Oh, interesting.
	To see if I'm up to some tricks.
	Meanwhile, they won't, even if I was up to tricks, I'm not getting the juice.
	All right, so let's see Melissa McCarthy, who's a giant fat pig, take on the toughest gang in modern history.
	Go back to the beginning.
	I'm so mad about this movie.
	Just pause.
	Speaking of iffications, I don't care if you make, well, Santa Claus Black is a bit rich, but anything else, you know, you want to make fucking Superman black, I don't give a shit.
	And blackification doesn't really bother me.
	Womanification drives me mental.
	You do what you gotta do.
	For kids.
	Most employers don't want mothers.
	It's a competitive market.
	You don't know me.
	For money, you survive.
	Black?
	Now might be the time.
	For what?
	For you.
	This is just fiction.
	Pause.
	Oh no, I said pause.
	The Westies were beyond sexist.
	They were like Sharia law levels of sexism.
	Women were garbage to them.
	It wasn't like the Italian Mafia where family was important.
	They didn't give a shit about their stupid whore girlfriends.
	They were all junkies.
	I hope I'm not gonna get killed for saying all this shit.
	Are the Westies still around?
	It's something like Jimmy...
	Koon and Son gonna stab me?
	They're all Millennials, they listen to the show, they're on top of everything.
	Westies, what I'm trying to say, I'm not calling you pussies or assholes, I'm just saying you're a very scary gang.
	Yes.
	I'm not saying that you suck or anything.
	In fact, I think this movie trivializes your bravado.
	Please don't kill me, Westies.
	Sorry, baby.
	This is the Irish mom.
	Organized crime.
	We're gonna take care of you.
	Is that common?
	Please don't be common.
	I hate him so much.
	Dude, I think that was common.
	Our husbands have 24 months left on their sentences.
	Sorry, baby.
	This is the Irish mom.
	Yes, it is common.
	Why?
	I think common is the worst.
	He sucks.
	The guy who did Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda, one of the worst.
	Jeremy Piven, of course, one of the worst people in the world.
	Common, I fucking hate him so much.
	He takes me out of literally everything.
	And he's wise, he's Mr. Wisdom.
	We need to innovate without official intelligence here at IBM.
	The worst thing he ever did was a Pepsi or a Coke commercial, a Coke commercial.
	And it was all about keeping it real.
	Hi, I'm in a Coca-Cola commercial, and I'm here to tell you that I keep it real and I will never sell out.
	I will never, for example, do, say, a Coca-Cola commercial, which I'm in right now, that you're watching.
	And it's with Maya.
	Gotta keep it real!
	Oh, I remember that.
	Yeah, and he raps all about how he's keeping it real, he's never gonna sell out.
	in a Coke commercial.
	Money make a man strange.
	You're in a coke commercial, you fucking sellout, hypocrite, shithead liar!
	Oh my god, Maya was so hot.
	What ever happened to her?
	She got less hot.
	She looks like Bambi.
	That's my type.
	Yeah, that is a pretty lady.
	Oh, God.
	Are you ready to go to the next level?
	That's on your mind, man.
	Check it out.
	The common world.
	Yeah, don't make a doll of me.
	I'm not a sellout.
	I'm only in a Coca-Cola commercial as we speak.
	No, man.
	I'm not a sellout.
	I like to rap about Coke.
	I certainly would never sell out my craft and talent being music.
	You know, I met a guy once who went to an island.
	I think he was working for Pepsi, and they got the Rolling Stones.
	It was like for the best retailers of Pepsi in the country, and Pepsi paid for the Rolling Stones to do a concert for all these guys.
	And it was only about a hundred people at this resort with the Stones coming out.
	And Mick Jagger was doing all these sellout jokes, and he goes, you know, when we were around the 80s, people used to say we did a lot of Coke.
	And I said, you got it wrong, man.
	It was Pepsi!
	And everyone goes, yeah!
	Is that a joke?
	No.
	Swear to God.
	And he got in shit because he was smoking a joint from some other guy.
	He's like, hey man, what the fuck?
	You have drugs?
	And he's like, the guy you're watching on stage is on heroin right now.
	And you're worried about my marijuana cigarette, you fucking pussy.
	All right, let's get back to common.
	We're gonna take care of you.
	You go.
	This is the Irish mob.
	Organized crime.
	We're gonna take care of you.
	It wasn't really organized.
	You go.
	It's gonna be just fine.
	We got no money.
	Can't even make the rent with what they gave me last night.
	They didn't want me in the family in the first place.
	30 years we pay protection and we don't get nothing for it.
	They have been telling us forever that we are never gonna do anything but have babies.
	Bunch of men that have forgotten what family means.
	So we remind them.
	So we remind them what's up.
	The cops were petrified of the Westies.
	What?
	The army was scared of the Westies.
	John Gotti was scared of the Westies.
	But not Melissa McCarthy.
	You got brains and I know you got money.
	But we got one thing that you don't.
	We got criminals.
	And Christ.
	I told you I can't go around working for a bunch of women.
	You are not smarter than me.
	So wait, the extorted businesses?
	I can't... I'm not sure I can watch this movie.
	I don't want you to do it.
	I want you to teach me how to do it.
	Teach you how to what?
	Be a homicidal maniac who shoots everything that moves?
	There's no skill.
	There's no way she shoots her first person and walks out like...
	We're just shooting dudes.
	I'm the chick from Mad Men who got dumped by Fred Armisen, now a murderer.
	Is this even close to based on a true anything?
	All I can dig up is that I think Jimmy Coonan or Mickey Featherstone's wife... No, Mickey Featherstone's wife did wear a bug when he was a rat.
	That's it?
	And I heard, I don't know if it was Mickey Spillane or... Someone's wife apparently collected some money when he was in jail.
	But that means picking up an envelope.
	Not blowing people's heads off.
	I sent it to my Knights of Columbus guys down there and they go, 100% bullshit.
	You know what isn't 100% bullshit though is BetDSI.
	And if you go to BetDSI.com and you put in the promo code Gavin and you register with some money, they will match your money.
	So you use the promo code GAVIN at B-E-T-D-S-I dot com.
	You get this limited time, 100% bonus offer, plus a $25 free wager to test the waters.
	Don't miss out and make some extra cash betting this season.
	You know, I fucked up that sentence as I was thinking, wow, I'm really nailing this.
	This is one of my better reads.
	Oh no.
	There's a moral there, kiddies.
	Use your sports knowledge to make extra cash.
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	Wait, what does that mean?
	So they more than double your money.
	That's a good deal.
	But you have to actually register with money.
	You can't just put your name in and get free money.
	Bless you.
	All right, let's take a call.
	We're running out of time.
	All right.
	All righty then.
	And that's all our sponsors.
	Yep.
	We got Dean, 98% rule.
	You're back, Dean.
	Dean, talk to us.
	All right, Deaner.
	Dean Wien.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	You had it on the wrong thing.
	No, I gotta call back this thing here.
	We got hung up on?
	No, no, no.
	Via Skype.
	Do we lose all those callers?
	Oh, we need Skype credit.
	What the fuck is going on now, Ryan?
	There's no money in our Skype account?
	Yeah.
	You are so great.
	Alright, I started a free trial.
	How the hell... You're really good at your job.
	So we lost all those calls.
	So I'm supposed to be... So what?
	Skype hung up on us because we were on a phone line?
	Yeah, that's how this works here, so... So now you're trying to call back the line, but it's gonna say you need more money in your account.
	No, I just pulled a little wrinkle.
	Alright, cool.
	We're in the host room.
	Everything's good.
	Hey, Dean!
	Dean.
	Hello?
	You're on the line.
	Hey, Dean.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	Not a lot.
	So what?
	Hey, so I'm just curious to get your opinion on this.
	My friends and I play this game that we found from this book called The Average American Male, and he believes that all men would have sex with 98% of women ages 70 to dead under these conditions.
	So they would immediately disappear after you cum, Two, they will not get pregnant, nor will they, nor will you contract any diseases.
	And three, no one would ever find out.
	So with those stipulations, do you think you'd fuck 98% of women?
	Um, that's a very interesting question.
	And my first instinct is obviously, yes, I'm thinking of chubbies like Melissa McCarthy type chicks, right?
	Like 290 pounders.
	But what, like, where are we with midgets?
	Where are we with facial... Oh, you gotta fuck a midget.
	I don't know if I could.
	Too much like a kid.
	And the way you'd be flipping them around with those little legs, it would be like a little alligator.
	I don't know, it just would be so weird.
	I'm not against it, though.
	But do midgets make up 2% of all women?
	Yeah, I think midgets, severe facial scarring, you know, someone with no legs, real severe freaks, probably are in the 2%.
	Like, Jews are only 3% of the population.
	You'd think there are a lot more.
	Or Muslims are only 1% of the population, and there's lots of Muslims.
	So I think severe freaks would probably squeeze under that 2%.
	I'm gonna agree with you, dude, and I'll tell you another thing.
	A little secret most young men don't realize.
	When you fuck a five it will be the greatest sex of your life and you'll be thinking about it till you die.
	I don't know why.
	Take home that big fat bartender who can't wear high heels because the high heels would break and only wears flip-flops and the soles of her feet are black.
	Take her home and it'll be the best night of your life.
	And you'll be able to go again and again and again.
	I mean, it makes sense.
	Because they want to give it their all, right?
	Well, it's also more about you.
	They might never fuck anyone over a five again.
	You're not trying to impress anyone.
	And so you're just like... It's almost like when you fight on one of those torso guys.
	And they're just like... Like you can just try anything that comes into your mind.
	It's like a fantasy come true.
	It's wonderful.
	And her skills are irrelevant.
	Women are a canvas.
	So there's no such thing as a girl who's bad in bed.
	I don't like her to have moves.
	When she's all like... Doing all this fancy stuff.
	No, thanks.
	Makes her look like a experienced prostitute.
	All right, Ryan, how many calls do we have there?
	Three.
	Three left?
	Yeah.
	Oh, good.
	All right.
	Let's power through them.
	All right.
	Kevin, you're on the line.
	What's up, Kev?
	Hey, so my wife doesn't want to have kids.
	She's kind of apprehensive about it.
	She had shitty parents.
	We both had crappy parents.
	She is worried that this isn't going to work out or something.
	I don't know.
	Is she on the pill?
	Man, there's so much echo.
	What?
	There's lots of echo?
	What's going on?
	Yeah.
	Still echoing now?
	Now I got you.
	Okay.
	Ryan always pushes the wrong buttons.
	Uh, how old are you?
	33.
	How old is she?
	33.
	Is she on birth control?
	Yes.
	Fuck.
	Cause I was going to say just come in her and then go, whoops.
	But, uh, it, look, it's, it's trying to like, you know, red color on the whole thing.
	And she just, You know, we're getting there, but it's a big point of contention and I don't know how to convince her and it sucks.
	Yeah, I think what's going on here is you're being too democratic and you're being too nice.
	It's not a democracy.
	It's a benevolent dictatorship.
	You are having kids.
	It's not up to her.
	It's happening.
	That's what marriage is about.
	And I think the fact that you're being so nice about it is adding to the trepidation.
	It's a very difficult job as Asian.
	Because she's thinking, well this guy isn't really that sure about it.
	He's not that strong-footed.
	I won't feel safe having a baby with him.
	I need someone who's going to take charge and control the situation because that's how a dad runs a good family.
	So I think your problem is that you're being too nice about it.
	I mean it is fucking scary to have kids.
	When my wife told me we had our third coming, I went, yes!
	And I hugged her so happy.
	But as we were hugging, my face behind her face was like, oh boy, here we go.
	Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck.
	Like, it's spooky.
	It's a fucking major decision.
	It's like moving to China and not having any American friends that you can speak English with.
	You're going to a whole new world.
	But it has to happen.
	She's already getting really old.
	You'd be lucky to get two in at this point.
	And I 100% guarantee you, That after you have this kid, you will both be mad at yourselves for waiting so long.
	Everyone I know my age with young kids goes, what the fuck were we doing?
	Why did we wait so long?
	All right, Colin?
	Awesome.
	Sounds good.
	I'll try that approach and put my fucking foot down.
	Put your foot down.
	It's going down.
	It's happening.
	Men who get divorced are men who fucked up.
	You're driving the boat here.
	It's up to you where that marriage goes.
	And that marriage is going over the kid waterfalls.
	See you later, buddy.
	Got Casey.
	What's up, Casey and the Sunshine Band?
	What's going on?
	Yo.
	Oh, you're doing a show.
	Yes.
	I have one of those thongs that sounds like another thong that you may have heard of.
	All thongs sound the same, and I know this because you butt-dialed me the other day, and I could hear your thong swishing back and forth inside of your butt cheeks, and it was just sort of like a shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
	All right, what are the two songs?
	One of my favorite sounds.
	80s, Killing Joke, and Come As You Are by Nirvana.
	Oh, I didn't hear that, did you?
	Apparently Nirvana sounds like some other songs.
	Come As You Are?
	80s, 80s, Killing Joke.
	Interesting.
	Come As You Are, Nirvana.
	Yeah, we went through this in a previous episode, sir.
	Are you subscribed to FreeSpeech.tv?
	Of course.
	I never heard this one though.
	We did a whole thing on it last Thursday.
	Really?
	Alright, well thank you for your call.
	I'll have to go back in the archive.
	Yeah, go look, no, look at, well this is a pre-taped show.
	I'm getting the David Cross thing again.
	So if you look at the Thursday podcast that's dated August 8th, you will find the Come As You Are, The Damned, and Killing Joke ripoff.
	And yes, it is a very big one.
	Next call please.
	This is our last call, right?
	Yes.
	Carson talking about the movies in London.
	All right.
	What's up, Carson?
	Hey.
	What's up, Gavin?
	What are you doing?
	Oh, you're on Free Speech on TV right now.
	Pre-taping a show for the holidays.
	I had a question for you.
	Okay.
	So you go pretty hard at the Muzzy's over in London, don't you?
	Yes.
	Well, I was watching on YouTube and they're protesting the schools over there because of all the transsexual and homosexual indoctrination.
	And it doesn't seem like the white parents are doing that so much.
	Why do you think that is?
	I think because white people are pussies.
	Western people are pussies.
	Not necessarily whites, but, you know, established, assimilated Western people.
	They don't have any balls.
	And it's... You don't think that's a good trait in the Muggies?
	That they're down to stir up a little trouble for their kids to avoid them chopping off their dicks and being women when they're born boys?
	Yeah, but they're also chopping off their daughter's clits.
	Well, they just don't want them to be sluts.
	Okay, so you're okay with genital mutilation?
	No, of course not, but I'm just saying it bothers me that the Westerners in London won't fucking throw a brick in their bureaucratic liberal teacher's face when they try to teach their kids to, you know, suck each other's dick.
	That irritates me.
	You've got kind of an alt-right vibe when you say words like muzzies and bricks to faces.
	You've got a bit of a Charlottesville hue to your pallor.
	Well, don't worry, Gavin.
	We'll go to jail together and I'll watch your back and you can watch mine.
	But more importantly, Can you name a Canadian hardcore band that holds any esteem to any American hardcore band?
	Because I am struggling to understand what your childhood was like.
	You must have been bootlegging everything from over here.
	SNFU ring any bells?
	What about DOA, the guys who invented the term hardcore?
	Okay, that's fair.
	What about No Means No?
	What about Dayglo Abortions?
	What about Honest Engine?
	What about The Trapped?
	I mean, I can list a thousand bands.
	Okay, that's good.
	That's good.
	SNFU Cannibal Cafe?
	I'm glad your mental capacity is still rocking.
	What's that?
	SNFU?
	Okay, thanks for calling, buddy.
	Let's pull up SNFU Cannibal Cafe.
	So he thinks American hardcore is way better than Canadian, but it just got more attention.
	We didn't have any... No one could see us.
	Where are you gonna see an SNFU video?
	MTV?
	This is Situation Normal all fucked up from, I think, Winnipeg?
	Calgary?
	Kind of a country music roll to it.
	Beautiful hardcore intro.
	They sound like a country band.
	Now, you'll notice they changed the velocity in mid-song.
	Turn it up.
	Funny, I'm not familiar with this taste.
	Rattin' off these ribs, the wrist is steady.
	Funny I'm not familiar with this taste.
	It's not like an animal.
	Come with me, I'm on my way to the Cannibal Cafe.
	For you to come to the only place where you can be the special of the day.
	Well, there I was, took a missing fact when I realized that it was someone's pain.
	Only way that I could possibly tell.
	Get a tip and nothing from the fingernails.
	Come with me, I'm on my way to the Cannibal Cafe.
	That's such a jam.
	Won't you come to the only place where you can be the special of the day.
	When you can be the special of the day, yeah!
	That's enough.
	Food ain't bad, but the food ain't good.
	Don't dare order the leper's foot.
	I recommend the ass of the farmer's wife.
	Very tender, not juicy heavy on the cellulite.
	So, that's an answer to your question.
	Sir, you're somewhat aggressive.
	Suspiciously alt-righty kind of a vibe.
	We'll be back on Monday with another vidcast.
	Because I'm coming back from Breezy Point.
	I'm gonna open up the studio.
	I don't want to come back for another week.
	So, are we going to do that?
	Yeah.
	Why don't we just do it live the following Thursday?
	I don't mind doing that.
	Oh, because I have to come back to pick you up.
	Yeah, we'll figure it out.
	We'll figure it out.
	So, I know this schedule is a little hectic, but when we iron out the kinks, we could have a really great show here.

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