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Aug. 7, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:03:54
S02E47 - FEMINIST ROCK
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Time Text
New Jersey Turnback.
Oh, live from New York.
It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
Outwear the great blood that we've been told.
Bastards registration.
I'm good.
Oh.
Oh.
Thank you.
Oopsie.
What are you doing?
You made an oopsie, and I thought I didn't want to make you feel silly, so I oopsied with you.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, that's really helpful.
If I screw up, make sure you double the amount of mistakes on the show.
We'll do.
Great.
This is my new look, my summer party look.
Deadbeat Dad look.
Deadbeat Dad is a bad thing to be.
Should not abandon your children.
However, it is a good look to sleep in your car and have a Hawaiian shirt and have a cigarette in your mouth and have a best friend who has no shirt.
That is good.
Oops, I just used the word best friend.
You should also make a mistake now.
Perfect.
Yeah, that was good.
You didn't deliver, which is making a mistake.
Yes, you're right.
You can't even screw up properly.
I can't do it on command.
You're like the guy in Judas Priest who tried to kill himself by blowing his face off.
Yeah, you wish.
And they based a...
They based a horror movie character on him.
Vance, Justin Vance.
He was a guy who put a gun to his face, and he was listening to Judas Priest, and the court, the family claimed that Judas Priest said, do it, in the song, and then that's when he blew his head off.
Yeah.
That's an actual guy.
That's not a cartoon.
Well, it's a cartoon in one of the pictures.
I sure fucked my life up.
Yeah, you sure did.
Face first.
Wow.
Where is he now?
He's actually this guy.
He's doing great.
Oh, wow.
It grew back.
My face grew back.
It's like a lizard tail.
See if you can find out where he is now.
But so what if Judas Priest did say do it?
I'm going to do a video on this on the devil's music.
Say Judas Priest said, hey, if you're listening to this song, put a gun to your face and blow your head off.
That's free speech.
You're allowed to say that.
I can't see an update, but I do see this.
Ryan, you're looking in Google Image for news.
Does that seem strange to you?
Oh, he died.
Man who sued Rock Group over suicide attempt dies.
James Vance pronounced dead at 10.48 p.m.
This is 98.
Okay, I don't care what time.
What time of the day did that guy die?
Was it late?
I'm sure we all felt it.
What did he die of?
Ugliness?
I don't know if that's possible.
Let's see.
See, this is why I don't like when people say, oh, she's a one.
This guy's a one.
You need room at the bottom for people who tried to blow their face off.
So he's 85, so he lived for another 10 years.
I wonder if he died from something related to his face.
Maybe.
After lapsing into a coma?
Yeah.
He had once been on a life support system since he lapsed into the coma.
Yeah, they could say nothing more.
Anyway, boys, don't blow your face off.
The reason I chose that was I want to get into Bruce Springsteen because it's kind of been the boss week.
Boss Week.
But that song's pretty interesting.
That song called State Trooper, and it's on the album Nebraska, which is a wonderful album.
It's got Atlantic City on it.
Oh, they blew up the chicken man in Philly last night, and they burned down his house too.
Oh, we're looking for a fight.
And I like the part where he goes, don't get caught on the wrong side of that line.
Wait, you missed it.
Well, they blew up the chicken man in Philly last night.
Now they blew up his house too.
Down on the boardwalk they're getting ready for a fight on a cruise.
See what them records.
But that opening song I played, State Trooper, seems rather incongruous, does it not?
Well, allow me to explain.
The boss had been listening to a New York band called Suicide.
Now, in the history of punk, which is coming soon, I'm saving.
I'm going to go away.
I rented a house in Breezy Point, so we're going to have live from Breezy in a couple weeks, and I'm going to bang some shows too.
But those shows are going to be short because I'm just going to be sitting on the beach.
I probably will only have like 10 minutes of stuff to say.
So I'm going to launch also Free Speech Presents on those days.
And that's when you'll get History of Punk, Devil's Music, Heroes of Color, and Sithole Denial are the little video shorts we've been working on.
Very well produced, very fancy, very high quality.
And in those, I talk about punk and how it started in Britain in the late 70s, and it's not a New York thing.
But suicide is kind of a hole in the plot.
That's my weak point.
Because Suicide were pretty darn punk.
And when did they start?
Like 69?
Years active 1970 to 2060.
1970.
I saw them, actually.
Oh, really?
They opened up for MGMT, yeah.
Very weird show.
Yeah, they're a very weird band.
I don't think you could call them punk.
I think you'd have to call them art rock.
So, no, it's not a flaw.
But let's hear them.
Okay.
Very weird.
There was a band when I first moved to New York called ARE Weapons.
And I think they were basically trying to do suicide.
James Vance was also trying to do suicide.
for the record Yeah, this is it.
Is Sprinking influence or is he ripping them off?
What's an homage and what's a ripoffage?
So far, not seeing it, but what do you mean?
Like the case?
go to the end of State Trooper.
Does he hoot and howl?
Yeah.
Huh.
It'll only take you like an hour.
I got a lot of tabs.
A lot of tabs.
A lot of tabs.
Very sensitive stuff here.
A lot of YouTube videos open.
There truly are.
Frankly.
You already passed it.
No.
No, that was the other song by him.
God, you suck.
This is getting bruisy.
Okay.
I think if I go back.
Here we go.
Chicken Man, stay true.
You know, when we were doing that show that's coming up later, Banking a Show for the Holidays, I had my computer.
I was finding stuff seven times faster than Ryan.
That's true.
Okay, go like 60% of the way in.
Alright.
Well, you're there.
Yeah.
This is right towards the end.
So maybe I passed it.
Oh.
Okay, now go back to suicide.
Okay.
Try to do that within the next hour.
Show us the video, dude.
You understand that you're not meant to be watching the show.
you are the show.
Well, I figured there's no video for Bruce's, so I was like, you know.
See you, baby, baby.
Is that by Bruce?
No, that's the band that were also heavily influenced by Suicide.
Is this boring to people?
I'm interested.
Airy Weapons?
A-R-E.
What did you write?
A-I-R-Y?
Like it's Aerie?
Yes.
god you suck Just outsound like a hot cool myrtle.
Tim talk on real kill juice and scrumo.
Fourth of July.
I care what you're doing.
This is my new book.
Fourth of July.
early 2000s.
I know what you love.
Lots of heroin.
Lots of people dying.
He was married.
He was living with Chloe Sevenya.
And they were going to get married.
And then he cheated on her and got dumped.
And you know what he said when he got caught?
What?
He goes, that was horny.
You weren't around.
Wow.
She never recovered.
That's pretty rough.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we covered that.
We covered the intro song.
Why do we talk about Bruce?
We don't usually show Gape Horn on this show, but an Indian friend of mine, he's in my phone as Brown Chad.
I don't really even know his real name.
And when we meet each other, we don't talk names.
Like at my boxing gym, I have good friends who I don't know their name.
And they'll go, hey, man, this guy's having a fight on Thursday, Gabe.
And I'm like, who's Gabe?
Tall dude.
Oh, the guy I've spoken to for maybe 100 hours and fought in the ring.
Oh, that guy.
Anyway, you know what happened to the gym the other day?
I got two things to say about the gym.
One is I can't get over this.
I'm obsessed with this thought.
And no one can really give me a reasonable explanation why.
Oh, no, I already talked about it in that other video, the Southpaw thing.
Oh, the fighting?
Yeah, yeah.
Switching stances.
If you're a Southpaw, have a normal stance, an Orthodox stance.
So people go, oh, it's just his jab.
But your jab is actually your strong arm.
So it's a surprise.
I'm told that De La Jolla does that.
Oh, okay.
He's left-handed, but he boxes Orthodox.
Anyways, at the gym the other day, this guy got nailed right in the stomach, and he goes, I'm going to barf.
And there was no bucket around.
So he goes to the bathroom to barf, and the bathroom door is locked.
So he comes out and he's like, and he barfs all over this gay dude's bag, his gym bag.
And another dude there goes, well, I mean, look at it this way.
It's not the first time someone's puked on his bag.
You know, I was that close to saying something about it.
That would have killed your joke.
That's not the joke that comes to your head?
Well, I shouldn't have said bag.
I should have said like gym stuff.
Yeah, otherwise it's using a lot of foreshadowing.
And remember, when this happened live, no one said the word bag because it was a thing that just happened.
Oh, yeah.
That is great.
It's the flaw with telling this story is I have to give it away and say the word bag.
But in real life, there was a bag not saying the word bag.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, I hear the gay dude's really pissed off about it.
And that pisses me off.
Because forget everything else.
That was beautiful.
He said it super fast.
This is the same guy, by the way, who after we had a class, like a special workout, running upstairs and stuff and doing horrible things that were brutal.
And we had to stretch and we're doing yoga at the end, like to stretch out.
And I go, isn't this, isn't yoga kind of gay?
And he goes, no.
He laughs and he goes, no, no, no.
We're just, we're stretching.
It's a great way to stretch.
Namaste.
And then the same guy who did the puke bag joke said, Nama, stay away from this fucking class.
So I think that puke thing, forget that you're gay.
It's just a beautiful, it was a work of art.
It was a beautiful collection of words and such a wonderful observation.
So I was like, I'm a linguist.
I tell stories.
I'm a writer.
I love the English language.
We just saw it in one of its most pure and beautiful forms.
And you're mad?
You should be honored that you could contribute to that moment.
Exactly.
Be honored that you're part of one of the sweetest jokes I've ever heard.
Forget puking and scrotums.
All right.
So speaking of gay porn, Brown Chad sent me this just today.
And it, I think, is the gayest thing I've ever seen.
Now, remember that show yesterday, the movie yesterday?
Have you got that queued up?
Yes.
I think what happens is these record labels, these estates, they realize that their fans are literally dying.
And I noticed Lilo and Stitch.
Remember that?
Of course, you're very familiar with that.
Lilo and Stitch.
Oh, sorry, I mispronounced the children's movie.
It's okay.
Let's talk to the guy that watches kids' movies, which, by the way, has a weird pedophile vibe.
Do you like going to the theater alone where the children are?
No, I just feel like my childhood was stolen from me.
And this is my way of maintaining my innovation.
It's stolen.
Because your dad left you?
No, I was beaten by strangers for a long time.
No, you were not.
I know.
But that would be a good excuse.
So the Elvis Presley estate realized that they were losing, they don't have any Elvis fans.
So Lilo and Stitch, Lilo, sorry?
Yes.
Sorry, Lilo and Stitch had all Elvis music in it, which they likely didn't have to pay much for.
And it didn't work.
Kids didn't become Elvis fans.
Now, that's why that Andre 3000 movie with Jimi Hendrix, where he played Jimi Hendrix, that's why it was so sad that they wouldn't give him the Jimi Hendrix music because you would have had a whole new generation of Hendrix fans.
Stupid ass.
Anyway, so yesterday comes along and they go, we want to make a movie about the Beatles and get Beatles fans.
So they come up with this stupid conceit they stole from Hot Tub Time Machine.
We've already talked about this.
Of course, he has to be an Indian guy because it has to be politically correct.
And if someone's going to represent Britain, it should be a brown guy.
Because that way you get the Indians and all the politically correct people combined.
And so yesterday was a hit.
Huge smash.
So they go, let's just do it again.
So now there's a new movie about an Indian kid in the 80s discovering Bruce Springsteen.
And I think yesterday, I mean, it looks like a kind of a good movie to bring your daughters.
Stop, stop, stop.
But go back to the beginning.
But it looks kind of good.
This movie looks beyond the gayest, gay, gay, gay, gayest, most unbelievably super duper gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
Giant letters, gay.
Actually, it has giant letters in it.
It's the gayest thing I've ever seen.
I got douche chills on my knees.
My legs were all goose pimples.
I was getting waves of chills down one arm.
Is it like this movie owns a bag that gets puked on gay?
And is mad about it?
Again, we have to see your logos.
Warner Brothers, they need to show you their logo.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves is having to look at a production company's logo before a movie.
Why do they get away with this?
I think I might go to Warner Brothers for my next movie, Pitch.
Yeah, I have $37 million and I'm thinking of making a movie.
Or maybe New Line.
I think I'll go with New Line and Warner Brothers.
Yeah.
That's not even how movies work.
I haven't seen Lionsgate yet, so I probably won't go for it.
I know it exists, but...
I'm just annoying.
And I know one who would be perfect for you.
She's not fussy.
Really?
First day, start at the top and stay there.
Stay away from the girls.
Okay, so, pause.
This starts out okay.
Like, there was a really good movie, Gregory's Girl, about being a young Laswegian teenager in the 80s.
And it was really sweet.
And it's about a boy, you know, just starting to like girls.
There's a really magical time, ladies, where girls are hideous losers that are a total waste of time.
They're just shitty boys.
Why are they here?
And then in a fucking day, they become goddesses with wings.
And this is about, you know, that time.
Wow, he's a loser.
I remembered him being way cooler when I saw this movie.
I saw it when I was a kid.
I'm so glad we bumped into each other.
What is he wearing on his head?
He has a beret on 10% of his head.
Do you want to dance?
It's really good.
You just lie flat down and dance.
I'll show you what I mean.
I'll start it off, and you just join in when you feel confident enough.
Okay?
Just dance.
This is back when trailers would just show you a scene from the movie.
I'll tell you something.
Hey, your stupid hat fell off, Gregory.
No, it's hanging on literally by a thread.
Well, it spins through space at a thousand miles and a half.
Anyway, you get the idea.
Oh, wait, that's the...
Spooky.
He's that guy.
Yeah, it's called a Scottish person.
50% of Scottish people are spooky.
Or arrogant assholes that won't stop telling you that tarmac actually roads themselves.
Tarmac, Macintosh.
That's a Scotsman who invented that.
We used to have a big cloth poster in our kitchen that was all about when you wake up, you might use an alarm clock that was invented by Jonathan McAllister.
Then you would get on your pajamas that were invented by Pajama McFilemy.
And it was all about a day.
And then an English, no, it's about an Englishman's day, sorry.
And then the Englishman eats a Scottish steak at the end of the day.
And then he may be so, something about the Englishman might be so disappointed in his countrymen that he would put a gun to his head to kill himself and likely use a Macfordshire blah, blah, blah, 22 pistol.
Oh, wow.
Anyway.
It's pretty effective.
So this looks like it could be sweet, the beginning.
I mean, I'm kind of, not my cup of tea, but for a young, and it's about a young kid, immigrant kid in England in the 80s.
There was a lot of, there was a fair amount of racial tension.
But in England's defense, in the late 70s, they got this huge surge of Jamaicans, and at the same time, a huge surge of Indians.
And they hadn't really dealt with mass immigration before.
So it was a bit of whiplash.
But they assimilated great because Indians are awesome and so are Jamaicans.
Unlike a different group pouring in now.
Writing isn't a job.
I need you to do more.
Make a wish better.
Kiss a girl and get out of this dumb so pause.
They just have to put that in.
And if that was now, if it was a modern movie, I would have been pissed off.
But yeah, that did exist.
There were Nazi skinheads in Britain in the 80s.
Yes.
But there was very few.
And most of them turned out to be gay.
A lot of them had been fucked by their uncle or something.
And they all ended up dead.
They probably made this movie.
I knew a guy who knew them, Gavin Watson, who did that skinhead book.
He goes, yo, remember them?
They were all mentally damaged.
They'd all been molested.
And then they became junkies.
And they're all dead now.
They did this thing where they would get tattoos in their face because you would be, if you had a tattoo in your face, you were considered permanently unemployable and clearly mentally ill.
So you just get welfare for the rest of your life.
You get the doll.
So they went, they got their faces tattooed.
They got in the doll.
They did heroin.
A lot of them were gay, and they're all dead now.
Anyway.
Go ahead.
So so far it's pretty good.
The gayest thing in the world.
The direct line to all destroying this shitty world.
Seriously.
What does he know about our world?
Rollercoaster emotions.
Just pause.
This is where it gets gay.
And just right there, I don't know about you.
You're probably not as advanced as me.
And you haven't seen it yet.
But I just got a flash of douche chills on the back of my head.
My little hairs just stood up.
I didn't get a quote yet.
And I think I'd seen this.
Can you see where it's going?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why are you doing that in post?
You should be listening to our music before you start getting confused and hating yourself.
This guy's hearing me.
What are you doing?
I listened to everything.
I could feel it all right here.
It's like Bruce knows everything I've ever felt.
Everything I've ever wanted.
Getting it here.
My poems.
They're not brilliant, but they're mine.
Just pause.
All the skin in my head is contracting now.
Like, you know when you go near the edge of a building and your bag goes...
Your bag contracts?
I just got that on the top of my head.
Like a turtleshell ball bag.
And now here's the plot of the movie.
His parents don't want him to listen to Bruce Springsteen because he's losing his identity.
I will bet you $1,000 that this movie was created by the Bruce Springsteen estate.
And they got some writer and they said, let's make it about Indians and assimilation.
Like, Bruce Springsteen?
Make it at least punk or something metal or something weird.
Like, this would have been a way more interesting movie if he was a really square Indian dude and he became a complete metalhead and was like playing in a metal band, death metal, and his parents were freaked out or an evangelist and he's in a death metal band.
That's interesting.
Bruce Springsteen?
If your parents don't want you to listen to Bruce Springsteen, you go, yeah, okay, whatever.
Ignore them.
Maybe it's just a symbol for just real Americana stuff because it's not rebellious in America, but it is very American.
Yeah, it's not rebellious anywhere in the world.
It's Bruce fucking Springsteen.
This man sings for people like us, but he talks to me.
You cannot be serious.
When they Indian dude sent this to me, he goes, I am so fucking ashamed of my people.
We are gay.
If you don't try to fix this, we will lose our son for good.
What?
To what?
A Bruce Brinkstein cassette?
Billy Joel.
What's with the try?
Is that Billy Joel?
And the echo.
Yeah.
Play that again.
Is that Billy Joel?
This guy is incredible.
You've never heard lyrics like his.
Is that Billy Joel?
Billy Joel?
You try and raise your kids right, Jack.
That's good, though, because they let you know if funny's coming.
Here comes a joke.
Yeah.
All quiet on the set.
Did you recognize him from the trip with what's his name?
Oh, that's him.
Yeah.
Yeah, what is that guy's name?
Oh, gosh.
He's a big Welsh guy road trip with Steve Coogan.
He's a really funny guy.
What's that?
Bruce sings about not letting the hardness of the world stop you from letting the best of you slip away.
My hope is to build a bridge to my ambitions, but not a wall between my family and me.
Come to see you visit.
I'm going to see Bruce Springsteen's hometown.
I can't think of a better reason to visit the United States than to see the home of the boss.
He is not your boss.
I am your boss.
Another.
Wait, go back.
I didn't see it.
I haven't watched this whole thing.
When I saw how gay this was, I went, stop.
*sigh*
People on strike.
Bruce sings about not letting the hardness of the world stop you from letting the best of you slip away.
My hope is to build a bridge to my ambitions, but not a wall between my family and me.
Okay, you went back way too far.
You've been to St. Bruce Springsteen's hometown.
This is ridiculous.
I can't think of a better reason to visit the United States than to see the home of the boss.
Traps like us, baby, we were born to run.
Did you write that?
I've told you before, your lyrics are rubbish.
I didn't even rhyme!
Get it?
Because they're pooping on the song.
It's like, that's a really good song.
Yeah.
Am I nuts, or is that the worst thing you've ever seen?
Very schmaltzy.
So it got me thinking, this is kind of a holiday episode, right?
We're having fun, kids.
It got me thinking about shitty bands.
And I don't know if you know this, and I was inspired by yesterday's guest, Gabby, from BBQT.
The people that banned her are this Montreal band.
I think they're called Pale Lips.
Hey, that's kind of Pale Face.
That's kind of insulting.
And it reminded me of this whole sort of movement of social justice warrior, feminist rock.
And guess what?
Coincidentally, it all sucks.
Who would have guessed?
Music that puts politics over everything else and agenda and gender, identity politics music happens to coincidentally be some of the shittiest music in the world.
Who knew?
Who knew?
So I thought I would just introduce you because you're obviously not privy to these bands, but I am.
And how about we check out the band typical of this, Sailor Poon?
They hate sexism.
girls can rock too you know You see?
Just pause.
Music, like, you know, Bruce Springsteen, so male-dominated.
And the only woman Bruce has in his band is that backup singer.
So women are always in the back, you know?
They finally have a voice, and now they're in the front.
And we can sit down and say, okay, you can now show me your talents.
You have a voice.
What have you got, Sailor Poon?
Sailor Poon What do you think?
King Tut Butts driving me nuts.
I don't know if thinking's available to me at the moment.
Why?
This is, I'm not exaggerating, my six-year-old's level.
This is Johnny.
And he had, I've seen my seven-year-olds do these kind of videos, and they are this bad.
Nerdy butts.
Oh, this is different than King Tut.
Oh, so it's all about the different butts that drive her nuts.
King Tut butts over in Egypt, and then she's in the library, and it's nerdy butts that are driving her nuts.
A variety of butts.
Oh, what kind of butts are these?
Cowgirl butts?
Cowboy butts?
Ranch butts?
Buffalo butts.
Buffalo butts.
Cowboy butts, yep.
Nailed it.
You know what butts drive me nuts?
Mets butts.
Mets butts?
Everyone in the Mets has a huge butt.
And my son wants to get in the MLB and eventually be a Mets.
And I'm like, sorry, you don't have a butt.
The whole team has huge fat asses.
Okay, now let's check out another band where...
Did he have to have butt implants to be in the Mets?
His Wrecker's Rectum holder.
Alright, yeah, they got some.
But here's another thing I don't like about baseball.
I don't like that the ump has his bulletproof vest thing under his shirt.
Like, have a normal shirt on and then have your protective vest on top of it.
These giant shoulders?
You look ridiculous.
Yeah, that does look dumb.
Who puts anything on top of a protective vest?
All right.
Here's another band, Heinz.
And they are from Spain.
So not only do you have to get annoyed by their shitty music, you have to get annoyed by their weird accent.
Wait, Heinz is another word for butts.
*Sings*
Thank you.
We come from a place called Madrid in Spain.
And we are here in Dam in the Band in GUQ House.
This is the 13th time we're going to play this song called Garden.
Yeah.
So at least these girls can play their instruments.
But jump in the middle.
And all these bands sound the same.
Turn it on.
Oh, this is sponsored by GoPro.
Literally, they have a logo when they do that.
You know what a lot of people your age would do?
They just accept this.
They're like, I guess this is what's cool.
And they'll listen to this.
They're like, it's good.
Well, girls go to these shows and they sit there in the audience and they're like, I'm at a show.
And it's a woke show.
And there's girls on stage.
And this is where I'm supposed to be.
No one is actually enjoying the music.
They're just enjoying the empowerment.
Look how shitty that drummer is.
She's literally as good as me.
We are at the same level of drums.
I think the goal of bands now is to sound like they're in the Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist soundtrack.
I want you to let her do that.
Okay, let's keep going.
Coat hangers.
Toad hangers, of course, reference to abortion.
I thought so.
This is about...
I've talked about them before.
Hey, hey!
Dan, dan, riff, riff, riff.
Hey!
Oh my God.
Why is he saying you like my bed and you really want my friends?
They can come with dumbness to be my boyfriend.
Oh, bro.
And then shut the fuck up.
I told you.
Empowered women.
And so something you don't know why.
Let's go.
And then shut the fuck up.
You think they act like they got it all figured out?
Look at her.
She's having so much trouble with her instruments.
How about you shut the fuck up?
All right, there's another song by them in the links right after that.
I've got two cold hangers hits.
That Jazz Master, too.
That's an expensive guitar.
Really?
That Jazz Master or Jazz Man?
Now, you're a musician.
You play multiple instruments.
What do you think of the quality of the musicianship so far?
Well, I stopped playing meltable instruments because they keep, you know, you have to freeze them up again.
You said melatable.
Okay.
I got it.
Vowel wrong.
Sorry about that.
Well, what do I think of it?
Well, yeah.
Here's the thing.
I get rough around the edges.
And like, you know, Mars Volta, the guitarist is very weird and not really skilled.
But there's a place for that.
But that doesn't seem like they're trying, you know?
So there's sucking.
Yeah.
It's like embracing sucking doesn't mean you're good.
Let's hear the other coat hangers.
They're so eager to get sponsorship.
There's always like a thing they're doing.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, hey, corporate America, we love your shitty girl band because it makes us look woke and feminist.
So we'll sponsor you.
That's the crazy thing about all this talentless garbage is they get so much corporate support.
For what?
There's no actual fans of the music.
The emperor has no clothes.
Oh, now they think they're Sleet or Kenny.
I've got nothing to do with my life.
I've got nothing to do with my heart.
I've got nothing to do with my paper.
I've got nothing to do with my heart.
I've got nothing to do with my heart.
You're like thunder.
You're like rain.
You're burning all again.
That's tsunami bomb-ish.
I remember being in a band like this.
Like when you first start a band when you're 18, you have this sort of you're insecure, so you do a funny voice.
Yes.
Oh, I don't even know why you want to go.
Yeah.
And you say things like, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, you'll never understand me.
You're making it up as you go along.
Or you have a song called, I remember this other band my friend was in, they had their chorus was, Who You Gonna Call?
The Dead Babies.
Because Ghostbusters was big, and the scariest thing they could think of was a dead baby.
This is all dead baby levels.
All right, let's keep going here.
This is a weird episode.
The tuts.
I didn't mind that last song, by the way.
Yeah, it was definitely the best one we've heard so far.
What have the tuts got?
Dump your boyfriend.
The tuts performing dump your boyfriend.
Here they are, Nadia, Bev, and Harriet.
Ladies, very much looking forward to the performance.
Are you excited?
Yeah!
Tell us about Dump Your Boyfriend.
You've definitely got a little message going on there.
We say it together.
Okay.
If you've got a shit, boyfriend, dump your boyfriend.
Literally my new favorite band.
Literally.
It's not exaggerating.
It looks like they didn't dump their boyfriend.
They made him play drums.
Why is there a girl band?
Why is it a thing that exists?
Turn it up, I can't hear it.
They don't objectively suck yet.
No, but when they can play their instruments, they all sound the same.
Yeah, that's it.
This little lilting thing, a da-da-da-da-da-di.
Can I do be the dandy?
A do-dee-da-dee-da.
Can't live without a set of...
Frivolous is the word I would describe.
used to describe it.
There's definitely nothing special about the...
If you stripped away the vocals.
It's like, this is, um...
All right, let's keep going.
Petrol Girls.
This one I recall being particularly brutal, almost as bad as King Tutbutts.
Oh yeah, this one is really bad.
Okay, so just pause.
You know, I forget who it was.
I think it was Charles Johnson said, whenever he sees a company announce a diversity initiative, he bets against them in the stock market because he knows that they've now put some sort of agenda above producing good content and they end up sucking.
And when you see that this band is about social identity politics and feminism and not about rocking, then you know they're going to suck.
What was that?
Austerity sucks?
Want to go back?
No.
My My right to choose.
This literally antifa music?
Yeah.
My fucking mind.
You want the moment that's up to pressure right?
This feminism is so ugly.
Oh.
Holy crap.
Look at her.
Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing.
Yeah, I think the music's pretty catchy.
Oh, you like this band?
Yeah.
You can put shit inside of a nice envelope.
Yeah, I like the actual beat to it.
Yeah.
But it's kind of like, yeah, the message is repulsive, so it's like getting into a nice car, but it smells like poo.
Let's check out Braticus.
Braticus.
This smells disturbing.
Is that a girl with a mustache on?
Looks like Desmond.
It does.
It does, yeah.
Let's hear the music.
Is that Desmond?
Is it mazing?
No.
Why am I happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy This isn't bad, but you need to have some other things in it.
No.
You're not Donald Trump.
You're not Donald Trump.
That's it?
Yeah.
That's like you're in the recording, you're at the jam space, and you go, what about this?
And they go, yeah, that's good.
That's the beginning of a song.
Now, I know this band, Surfboard, and I'm including them here because they're very relevant.
Because this all comes to a point.
Come on, dude.
Fuck you, motherfucker.
What time is the sound check?
Check the email, dog.
It was at five.
Fucking move, you fucking asshole.
Did this song start?
Heavy traffic reported ahead.
Hey, find the song.
Just jump forward.
This is a mess.
This is a mess.
All right, so Google image that band.
Surfboard.
Interesting story.
The drummer of that band is this guy, Sean, that I know.
I consider him a friend.
Back in Austin, Texas.
We used to go there for the South by Southwest thing every year.
We called him the Illustrated Man.
And because he's covered in tattoos, he had a really shitty childhood.
And his entire body is riddled in tattoos, even his face.
And he wasn't doing well.
He was a dishwasher.
I think he was a cook for a while.
And he was fun to drink beers with and stuff.
He talked like in a real whispery voice, real quiet voice, quiet guy.
Hey, what's going on, guy?
Fun dude to party with, but wasn't going anywhere.
I don't want to say loser because there's nothing wrong with just having a shitty job.
And then he goes, I want to try painting.
And we go, okay, whatever, dude.
I think that's, yeah, maybe you can find one of his paintings.
And we just ignored him.
And then he kind of disappeared.
I can't remember where he moved to or something.
But we check in on him about a year later.
He's one of the most successful artists in the country.
And he's making hundreds of thousands of dollars per painting.
Look, they're not even that good.
He's just kind of tracing shit.
And then he decides to abandon that.
And he goes, there's something going on here with these.
I'm not sure that's him.
No, that's not him.
There's something going on here with these bands.
You can have any shitty band, and as long as it's sort of a feminist thing, you'll be totally coddled.
So he starts this band and they blow up.
Is that the next link on there?
Now, yeah, the next link on there is...
Who?
Gucci.
Sheesh.
This is where this all comes together.
Gucci takes the singer.
Go back to the Google imaging of Surfboard.
The singer is this ridiculously ugly chick who's missing teeth.
And Gucci decides, you and your awesome music, you are the new face of Gucci.
You define beauty for us.
Your toothless hillbilly face.
That chick right there with the stars.
Yeah.
She's now, so we're listening to all this garbage music, right?
And talking about how to get away with it.
And corporate America keeps kissing their buns.
And then it turns out that the new face of Gucci is that.
Go back.
That is the face of the most premier designer label in the world.
It's what?
Prada, Gucci.
They're in the top three.
The guy on the right, right?
No, her.
Oh, the guy on the left?
No, the toothless chick, moron.
The thing.
Were you listening to me?
It's a joke.
Oh.
It's a bit.
Phew.
Well, it wasn't funny.
let's check out Gucci's new beauty campaign starring the singer of surfboard you Ada Rose.
That's beautiful.
There she is.
There she is.
This isn't a joke.
This is not SNL.
Be bright.
Go back.
Pause next time you see her face.
She literally has fangs.
You're bold, all right.
There, there she is.
There she is.
That sums up this whole episode.
Make that the thumbnail, okay?
Yeah, that makes sense.
The new face of Gucci.
That is wild, huh?
Holy crap.
It's almost like lame and shitty is good now.
That's cool.
Well, the politics go above everything.
So the substance is irrelevant.
It's all about how it looks.
And this makes Gucci look woke, so we're doing it.
Be beautiful.
Be beautiful.
Is she dating the guy who blew his face off?
He's the new face of beauty.
It looks like an SNL sketch, doesn't it?
It's sort of like when Chris Farley was the stripper in Chippendale's, and just his appearance made everyone laugh.
All right, we're running out of time here.
Let's see if we can squeeze in a quick mailbag.
Oh yeah, you can show that.
That's what it looks like, what we just saw.
Yeah, this could be an actual...
Oh, Adrian.
I know.
It's going to be you.
I don't like fat people saying haha.
it's like being a Sambo.
Yeah, it's like a sad Bob Odenkirk said that was that was the end of Chris Varley.
Hmm, he really hated that.
okay Let me touch it.
That, by the way, is the name of Whitney Cummings' new Netflix special.
Let me touch it.
Yeah.
Yep.
Not good.
First letter.
Gavin.
Ryan sucks.
Wow.
That is all.
Wow.
That's from Eric.
Damn.
Um, Gavin, I find myself in a difficult situation.
Difficult situation.
Totally.
Could you say that, please?
It's a very difficult situation.
You're always going on about being a cheap Scott.
Being one yourself, how can you expect other cheap Scottish assholes like me to pay for free speech.tv?
I'm sorry, one drink a month is too much?
No, you said it's $10.
Yeah, in New York City, a maker's mark on the rocks is $10.
Was better when I could get at least two for one with music streaming and most everyone's podcast, but now I've got to pay listen to GUML more than once a week.
Fuck me.
Also, speaking of two for one, new Tool album on August 3rd.
After what, 10 years?
What are your thoughts?
I don't care.
I'm not interested in Tool.
They are a corny dude band for guys.
I've never liked Tool.
You probably like Tool.
I don't.
Really?
In fact, a friend of mine is doing just tearing apart Tool and his fans.
And I don't know what happened.
Prague Rock.
But they just started coming out with a new band.
Maynard was just on Rogan, and he started mocking Tool right before that happened.
So there's an ethos.
Does that make sense?
Okay, this one is pretty long.
It's probably going to be the last one we do.
It's from an Indian, and it sort of bookmarks the show pretty well.
By the way, the previous one was sent from H-U-A-W-E-I Hu Wei Mobile.
That implies that he's in China.
Oh, yeah.
We're a very international show.
Have you noticed that?
Really?
Yeah.
And the fun thing about me charging a lot is that I'm getting money in the bank, paying for the bandwidth and the costs and all of these expensive liberal guests.
But also, I'm going to start getting shows.
Someone suggested Sargon of Akkad.
That would be great.
I want to get Sargon of Akkad, Roger Stone, Sof, Laura Loomer, Joe Biggs.
Anyone who's banned.
Unless they've apologized, then they're not invited.
I'm from India.
I've been following you since 2015.
It's funny when you're old, like I'm 49, and people will talk about things like, oh man, I've been into that since 2014.
I'm like, 2014, that was an hour ago.
Yeah, basically.
I even feel lame talking about 2000 New York, but that was 20 years ago.
Sheesh.
You were 10.
Yep.
Wait, wait, wait.
I moved to New York in 1999.
How old were you then?
1999?
I was 10, yeah.
Loser.
Although I don't agree with you a few things, I'm a huge admirer of your work, blah, blah, blah.
It should be the case since my generation of millennial here in India have this SJW mentality of either you are completely with us or against or you're against us.
I appreciate you stand for free speech and freedom of ideology, which is crucial in these times.
He likes reading the do's and don'ts book.
I haven't been able to put it down.
I get stank eyes from women who want to know what I'm reading and are shocked by the language, fucking Puritans.
Here's what I wanted to ask you.
Wait a minute.
So a woman asks you what book you're reading and then you show her and she sees the language?
Just say none of your business.
One, I was at a party and a very close friend of mine brought his date along.
He fucked up and forgot something and said something along the lines of, I'm sorry, I'm a retard, which made his girl very mad that he used the R word.
I stepped in and said, well, if the word is in the dictionary, he can use it.
She argued that you can't use it at all and she knows better since she's studying psychology.
Ooh, that had nothing to do with the fact.
I could have argued and held an honors degree in psychology, blah, blah.
I said, the context matters.
And before I could explain my point, another girl joined in and went off on how I shouldn't have used that word.
Note that I hadn't used it in the first place.
I realize you can't really argue with a drunk chick, let alone two of them.
Anyway, another close buddy stepped in and said that he himself was a retard, and people should be sensitive to him.
Everyone laughed.
And the debate, if I can call it one, ended.
My question is, how do you deal with people on the context of words like cunt?
Got in trouble for that one too.
And retard.
And how are they not meant as malicious?
Cunt is fine.
It's a very bad word for a woman.
And if it's applicable, then you should use it.
I'm from Britain and Canada where we say cunt on a daily basis, even in a semi-friendly way, like, it's here round, you cheap cunt.
Come on.
And in fact, we use it so loosely in Britain that you have to say, you're a proper cunt if you want to use it bad because people, cunt is nice.
So I'm not doing anything about cunt.
However, retard, and I know I opened the show with gay a million times, gay is fine.
Gay is a parody of the way you talked when you were 10.
So in a way, it's kind of pro-gay because you're laughing at yourself for saying gay when you were 10.
Retard is tricky.
And Ann Coulter's point is, I'm never calling someone with Down syndrome a retard, obviously.
I'm using it to describe other people.
That's fair.
I once called my dog retarded, and we had guests over, and one of them was special needs.
And I said, yeah, who cares what he wants?
He's a retard.
And that made me feel bad.
Yes.
But then you say, well, what if you're saying it on the show and someone who's watching the show has a special needs kid in the room?
And Ricky Gervais's argument for that is, well, he's got to know that it wasn't directed to him.
Yeah, yeah.
I think the intention matters a lot, but sometimes that word just gets thrown in there, you know?
It's almost like the guy that shot his face off.
What a return.
He had a daughter.
Yeah.
How gay.
Someone fucked him after that?
Maybe before that.
He was 23 when he...
So, but if Judas Priest comes on, they didn't mean to inflict him with like...
Yeah.
Yeah, I still have to think about this, but it's one of the few words, obviously the N-word, but it's one of the few words where I'm open to discussing not using it.
Yeah.
The N-word, I'm done.
And Coulter sold me on that.
She said, you don't understand.
You weren't here.
America has a long history with that word.
Don't use it in any context, ever.
Dang.
Okay, fine.
And I've never used that word maliciously.
Right.
Ever.
Yeah, some things are.
I've never been used discussing the word.
The stakes are high, so that it becomes a shock joke.
You know, I don't ever write it off, but it's really a real rare.
It's a doozy.
It's got to be like.
By the way, speaking of Vic Berger making a video of every time I've used that word, which was never malicious, it was always discussing the word.
That showed up in court with the Proud Boys, who one of them is facing 60 years.
And everyone jokes about how he's just a harmless comedian.
He's a Twitter comedian.
What's your problem?
Well, he's gotten a bunch of people fired, and he's appeared in court where someone's facing 60 years.
And he doxed Jax Pasobic's wedding, which implies violence towards the people who are getting married.
And more importantly, he doxed A Night for Freedom, which led to Antifa beating an old Jewish man almost to death, cardiac arrest, sent to the hospital.
Antifa, who beat him, is also a victim of this bullshit because he's looking at 15 years in prison.
And that was Vic Berger.
And you know what's nuts?
Vic Berger's all over Twitter right now saying, people are trying to tie Jared Holt to the shooter because he is tied to the shooter.
The shooter was a fan of his.
And he goes, this is putting them in danger.
You're doxing him.
Meanwhile, Vic Berger's the king of the dox.
The hypocrisy today with the left is mind-blowing.
It's clown world.
It's clown world.
Anyway, so that's a long answer to your question, sir.
But all that other, but that's me talking about my show.
As far as your world goes, where girls get mad at you for reading a book and you're getting balled out at a party, I would just go full tilt, retard, cunt, fuck, do's and don'ts book in your face.
Shut up, fuck you.
So you should be a complete asshole in India, my Indian friend.
We saw the movies you make.
That place is going super gay.
And by the way, I like the way that you say that about making fun of a younger self.
It's like, I'm not Archie Bunker.
I'm actually Norman Lear.
When I say gay.
Yeah.
It's a parody.
I'm not actually the bigot guy.
I don't like that example, though, because you're dissing God.
Well, I love Archie Bunker.
B, I was called a hipster for a while by people, so I took on that identity for a while.
Now hipstrom is mainstream and marketable.
Where do you see hipstrom going?
And do you think there is a counterculture, subculture to hipsterdom?
Obviously, the way hipsterdom is going in the mainstream is some ugly cunt from surfboard being the face of Gucci.
But the counterculture to hipstrom is obviously this.
Red-pilled America, Milo Yiannopoulos, Laura Loomer, Jack Pasobic, Mike Cernovich, Ali, culture with three Ts.
Now he has three.
I can tell you that the analogy about sesame seeds on the arm and that cab driver made is something we have never heard.
I'm half Sikh.
Okay?
You are a Piari Admi.
It's like Piari Lauki, but for a man.
That's gay.
Ryan, you make me want to wear a turban and carry a dagger.
But Scared Selfless is in my workout playlist, and it's amazing.
Thank you.
What's Scared Selfless?
It's a song that I made.
It's this one.
I've never heard your music before.
That's what I am.
Let's hear Ryan Ketzy Rivera's tunes.
Yeah, this one's alright.
This is the first one I made on my GarageBand.
My MacBook Pro.
I use the actual keyboard as the keyboard.
This is so much better than those feminist bands.
Thanks.
It's about abortion.
I should rap over it.
Yeah, we should start some sort of band.
I was thinking about starting like a Korean rock band, but I make up all the words.
But it sounds like K-pop rock, and I'm just like, That would be funny.
We should do that when we're at Breezy Point.
Make a song.
Yeah.
Smoke a dube, write a song.
That's right on.
Okay, he likes me more than a friend, and his name is Abhimanyu.
Hey, India, get some normal names.
Abhimanu?
Abhimanyu.
That's like Christopher.
Or backwards.
Your name is a record player backwards.
Abhimanyu?
It's censored.
Ever heard of Mike?
That's what's so great about the West.
You know what our names are?
John.
My son's name is Johnny.
Bob.
You know what Bob is backwards?
Bob.
Correct.
It's a palindrome.
All right, let's end the show with this awesome video.
All right, a janitor opened the school 50 minutes early, 6.15 instead of 6.30.
So at 2.52, he thought, oh man, I'm going to leave eight minutes early.
Big deal.
Now, this is why I hate teachers, because the unions and all their power and telling kids what to do all day has given them this bizarre ego.
And feminism too, like the guy who killed Lee Rigby, that woman comes up, what are you doing?
Stop stabbing him.
And the way that women, let me be specific, balls, B-A-W-L, boomer-angry women liberals, the way they talk to people is perfectly displayed in the way teachers talk to people.
Now look at this teacher talking to a janitor, a big black janitor, about leaving eight minutes early.
*Painful music*
Maybe this happened before.
What are your hours?
This is recording.
What are you hours?
Your hours is from 6.30 to 3 o'clock.
Okay.
Why did you leave today at 2.45?
I didn't leave at 2.45.
You did?
I did not leave at 2.45.
We were calling you.
When I left, it was When I left, when I was leaving at that door.
When I think you left.
When I was leaving at that door, 18.52.
When I was going out that door.
Because you left early.
I didn't leave early because I was here early.
What time do you work till?
What are your hours?
Ms. Hoffman, the fire people that was here was outside.
They had to get in the building.
Stop talking.
Jonathan, what are your hours?
Just pause.
Can you imagine saying that to an adult man?
Adult, yeah.
Hey, I mean, I might say it to you, but it's kind of in a jokey way.
But the idea of me saying to a 42-year-old man, hey, Jonathan, stop talking.
What are your hours?
I love cops, but I fucking hate when they pull you over and they go, you mind telling me why you're driving so fast?
Because I'm speeding, because I like going fast.
Let's just fucking wrap it up, please.
Stop patronizing me.
What are your hours?
I just want to hear them again.
I just want to hear you say.
When are they?
I told you my hours already.
Tell me again.
From 6.30 to 30.
6.30 to 3 o'clock.
Okay.
And you left early today.
I didn't leave early.
Did you leave before 3 o'clock?
I left before 3 o'clock.
Why?
For the simple fact, I had to come in here this morning because the fire people was out there outside, sitting outside in their cars, and they had to get in the building to do the fire off.
Okay.
So I had to come in the building at 6.15.
Ms. Beckett, both of us came at the same time.
Who told you to come at 6.15?
Who told you to come at 6.1.15.
It's not that I wanted to come in at 6.15, Ms. Hoffman.
I was sitting outside and the fire people was outside waited in the car to get inside the building.
We are not open until 6.30.
So they have to wait until 6.30 to get inside the building.
They're going to get the fire alarms?
If they don't have a key, the building is not open until 6.30.
Look at her.
You don't adjust your hours just because you feel like it.
I didn't do it because I felt like it's going to be a little bit more difficult to fire people to get inside the building.
You need to open the building early.
Did your boss, Susan Offerman?
You opened your mouth early outside of the donut shop.
I was not supposed to start my hours early today, but like I was telling you, the fire people had to get inside.
They were sitting out there for almost an hour.
Who is your boss?
Is your boss Susan Offerman or the fire marshal?
Who?
Who is your boss?
Are they having sex?
I never had a dad.
I explained my hours.
6.30 to 3.
Yes.
Okay, and we needed you at 2.45, and we're calling you on the walkie, and I called you on the phone finally because nobody could find you, and the guy said you left.
You had just left.
No, I did not leave early.
I had just left.
Jonathan said that.
I had just left.
Jonathan, if you left before 3 o'clock, you left early.
Just pause.
You know that they have that gay therapy that makes gays straight?
Conversion therapy?
Conversion therapy.
This is conversion therapy.
I'm gay.
I'm gayer than that Indian movie right now.
I hate her.
Hate has a home here.
I hate her.
She's bad.
Bonafide hate.
People overuse the word hate.
Hate is the opposite of love.
Love is when you can't stop thinking about her and she's heaven and just like seeing her sock on the ground.
You go, what a great sock.
I hate her.
I hate her socks.
I hate like her steering wheel of her car.
I hate the footprint she makes in the snow.
I want to kick it.
Was done.
So let me explain this to you.
Yesterday when we had the meeting, I didn't get out of here until 3.15.
Why?
Because you had us in the meeting.
No, I finished on time.
No, it wasn't.
When I left out that door?
I finished on time.
That's the time I left out that door.
Why are you dragging this out?
Are you going to fire him or not?
I made it a point to finish on time yesterday because I do not want to keep you past your hour.
It's halfway through a five, six minute video.
I don't know what you were doing.
Six minutes?
We don't have time.
Jump to that end.
If he gets fired, I'm going to find him.
Every time I come into this meeting with you, it's always something I'm doing.
But what about everybody else is doing?
This meeting's done.
Please stop yelling at me.
I'm not yelling.
I'm just voicing my frustration because just like you frustrated with me, I'm frustrated too.
I'm frustrated that you left before your 3 o'clock shift was over and this meeting is finished.
But you don't understand the fact that I was here.
The 10 minutes that you left early are now done.
The 10 minutes that you owed the school are now finished.
So I'll see you tomorrow.
I'll let you know what HR says.
Okay.
I'll see you tomorrow.
I'll let you know what HR says.
And she punished him with that meeting by making it 10 minutes because he left 10 minutes early.
He actually left eight minutes early.
CUNT!
*Gunshot*
I'm with her.
He needs to get rid of that job, get work at it.
And I hate the way janitors, you know, they have to work all summer.
They're July and August while these fat pigs are sitting by a lake and sipping on fucking corona lights.
Those guys are working their hardest they work because they finally have the whole classroom to themselves.
They can take down the drop ceiling and clean up in there.
And you'll notice when these teachers go on strike or they demand things, they don't talk about things like new boots for the janitors.
The janitors are in the same union, but they don't get any of the perks that the teachers get.
And they're the ones working.
What are you doing?
Filling their heads with a bunch of Marxist claptrap, you stupid fat bitch?
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
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