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July 29, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:13:03
S02E42 - BALTIMORE BLOWS
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Time Text
When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was dead.
Cause I could go buzz and I could keep my moves.
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face.
She's like, Ben, you've loved girls since before pre-K.
Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.
I remember doing the math, like, yeah, I'm good at Little League.
A preconceived idea of what it all meant for those that like the same.
Thank you.
That was Macklemore and a song about gays.
Loving gays.
This is my dog.
His name is Leroy.
I didn't name him.
My daughter did.
I don't know why he's named Leroy.
This is the dog I mentioned many times in the past about how I feel.
Nothing.
I don't want to hurt him, but this is just a ball of fur that could live or die.
Oh, he's shaking.
Oops, sorry.
I guess he's scared of being up there.
He's in the studio because my wife is away with the kids visiting her mother.
And I don't want to leave him all alone at home because I'm not a sadist, but I feel nothing for him.
He's an animal.
Like, I eat animals all the time.
Probably have an animal after this show.
I'm going to go have either a pig or a cow.
And plenty of Asians eat dogs, so I don't understand why we're putting them on a pedestal.
God, Ricky Gervais loves his dogs.
A pedestal.
Oh, that reminds me of something before we get started.
Ryan said something on Friday that is so annoying, it made my blood boil.
And I want to pass it on to you so you're in a bad mood for the rest of the day.
This is the most infuriating and unfunny thing I've ever heard in my life.
Now, we did a free speech, the show, and we had Ann Coulter on and Gina Belafonte, Harry Belafonte's daughter.
Fascinating woman, very liberal.
And I kind of have been punching the steering wheel all weekend because I was too careful on this.
And then after we started doing shots, and we got pretty hammered, and like I consider her a friend now.
And Anne pointed out at the end after we were done and we were partying, and goes, we should have talked about sex.
And I just, all weekend, I was just punching the steering wheel, mad at myself for being a pussy, because I wanted it to go well.
So I treaded very lightly throughout the thing.
And I think I may have hurt the quality of the conversation.
But if there's one thing that women, I would dare call the middle-aged women, can bond on, it's how bad sex is for millennials and young people today, how the whole thing's been kind of ruined.
That would have been a great subject.
For example, porn is so mainstream now that women are expected to do ungodly things on the first date.
And they've actually had a, there's been a problem with generation-wise anal muscle retention.
Excuse me if you have kids watching, but I hope they don't understand what I'm talking about.
AMR for short.
Every time you open your mouth, it's the same feeling as losing $100.
Wow.
It's just like, wait a minute, it's not my wallet.
I didn't have it in my front.
Oh my God, I must have lost it in the ocean.
What the fuck?
Well, every time you speak, it's like I found $100.
Great.
Kiss my ass.
That'll make things better.
Okay, here's what he said on the weekend after, I think, Gina.
No, this is before we started shooting even.
Yeah, we're getting set up.
We're doing the intro.
And I can't remember what the context was, but I was laughing and saying, it's funny because it's true.
And then Ryan decides he wants to add to that.
And by the way, the thing that we were laughing at was funny and it was true.
So it was a very relevant thing to say and it was applicable.
He goes, it's F because it's T. And then it's kind of happy with himself after, like, nailed it.
I'm still pretty pumped.
And me and the other two guys who were setting up just sort of look at him just like a pedophile.
Just disgusted.
John was smiling.
No, he wasn't.
Well, our other friend liked it.
No, you're wrong.
Shut up.
It was a hit.
Wrong.
All right, so we got a lot going on today, as is the case with all Mondays.
I thought we could have the show ready.
I thought you were already done with Free Speech the Show, but you say it might be late tonight or something or tomorrow?
I can crank it out by tonight.
It's going to be a hefty load.
That's what she said.
Okay.
See, that's a lame joke that's funny.
F because it's T?
Like, we'd have to be at a place called F T or something.
There needs to be at least a hair of context.
I think it's just absurdism.
It's F because it's T. No.
I'm getting, like, I feel stress.
It's like putting a good picture in a really shitty frame.
It's like, kind of.
It's so dumb and annoying that it gives me sort of, I feel poison.
I feel toxins in my shoulders.
It's like having a mansion and parking a bad car in the future.
No, shut up.
All right.
The reason we chose that is because I was on Bill Schultz's show Morning, and I was discussing that I was kicked out of a bar on the weekend after we did the shoot with Ann Coulter because I was recognized.
And I was rejected service because of my political views.
That's New York City for you.
But before I get to that, she was talking about John Mayer.
And I said, not a fan.
And she goes, why not?
And I goes, because he ripped off People Get Ready.
And then she goes, you know, that people get ready.
There's a train coming.
Don't need no ticket.
Just get on board.
I'm kind of as good as Robin Quivers with singing.
Anyway, and she said, oh, come on.
It's more of an homage.
Lots of songs use that breakdown.
And I said, name one, and she couldn't.
So in her defense, I played that because it is the same Riff, people get ready.
There's a trainer coming.
Play it.
You know what?
Play the video.
Show us the video.
Why would you not show us the video today?
You know what annoys me about this song?
It's like it's okay to be gay.
When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was gay.
This song was from 2016 or something.
Yeah.
And then he talks about right-wing conservatives who want to deprogram you.
The deprogramming gay thing is remarkably rare.
In fact, there's a hell of a lot more people that want to make our kids gay and make them into drag queens and take them to drag queen story time and tell them they're trans and give them pills to block their hormones.
There's a hell of a lot more of that than there is conversion therapy.
So.
This is like hate has no home here.
It's just redundant.
Turn it up.
And this scene.
It must be weird to be a gay dude at spin the bottle when you get a girl.
Yeah, it's weird to be gay.
It's weird to play spin the bottle.
You represent one in a hundred people.
That's weird.
It's weird to be albino.
It's weird to be really, really good at math.
You must feel unusual when you can see numbers as shapes and everyone else is struggling.
Anyway, very brave of McElmore to say, I don't hate gays.
How brave.
It's like that guy, you should follow me on Parlor, Gavin McInnes.
I was talking about that guy, Taiki Wawala, the guy who did the Thor movie Ragnarok.
And he's got a new movie out where he plays Hitler.
Siskid has an imaginary friend named Hitler.
And they go, did you do any practicing for the role?
And he goes, no, Hitler's a cunt.
Oh, someone doesn't like Hitler.
That's pretty intense.
Wow.
That's a brave stance.
I can already feel the studio getting hot.
I'm getting worried.
Getting a little heated.
Looming.
This is the problem with being Scottish.
Heat is like, it's spooky.
It scares you.
It's a threat.
Anyway, you can't talk about this song, Same Love, I believe it's called, without talking about the problem that it had in the African-American community in the hip-hop world.
Specifically, Lord Jamal, who's a well-known rap aficionado here in New York, who's not into gay stuff.
And what's the question there?
Say, what effect do you think McAmore's Same Love song will have on the future of hip-hop music?
You don't see this.
This didn't go anywhere.
If a white guy had said this, or someone in a MAGA hat, but let's see what rap thinks of gays.
Yeah.
I don't know what the effect is going to have.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I acknowledge his talent and skill.
From what I heard, you know, the song on the radio, the couple songs that they play on the radio, and then one of my boys played another, one of his videos, something about like about overdosing on drugs or some shit like that.
And it was dope.
I like his music.
But I feel like Lord Jamal could be a racist who hates white people.
And I also feel like I can get along with him really well.
Yeah, yeah.
No, you all right, McGinnis.
Yeah.
I don't like white people, and I don't know why we're having a beer right now, but you seem pretty real.
You keep it real.
Exactly.
Actually, that's one of the gayest things I've ever said.
I'm talking about how black guy would think I was so cool.
I didn't mean to say that.
What I meant was even, I just, I get along with honest people, no matter what their politics are.
I can't believe I just.
Real would recognize real is what you're trying to say.
I guess.
Yeah.
Nothing wrong.
We may have to edit that out.
Yo, if I was to hang out with this dude, he'd be like, you the realest nigga I ever met, Gavin.
You dope.
And I'd be like, thanks, Lord Jamal.
Literally, take my money.
I know you got it good and shit, but what?
A lot of shit, but I don't give a fuck.
Okay, I'm going to say what I have to say.
Okay.
White rappers.
That's me.
You're coming to this almost as a guest.
That's fair.
Okay?
Matter of fact, you are guests in the house of hip-hop.
Sure.
Just because you have a hit record doesn't give you the right, as I feel, to voice your opinion.
Let me say it again.
White rappers, those of y'all who really study the culture, okay?
I'm going to start doing that.
Sure.
That truly love hip-hop and all that.
Keep it real with yourself.
You know this is a black man's thing.
Okay, we started this.
This is our shit.
We've allowed you, those of you who have proven is that black men are not gay.
Don't bring gay stuff in here.
This is a black guy thing.
What about Milo's husband?
There's no black gays?
There's a lot of black gays.
A hell of a lot of black gays.
In New York City, most of the transsexuals and, you know, kind of very flamboyantly dressed homosexuals, usually you're black.
Yeah.
From what I see.
Okay, so you know where he's going with all that.
But I was thinking, I like playing Devil's Advocate, and I was thinking about it, what if I was super into death metal and that was part of my scene, my culture, and then these chicks came along and they said, we're doing an all-female death metal band.
And I'd go, okay, all right, let's check it out.
I'm open-minded.
And then they had this major death metal song about gay marriage.
And it had like death metal guys making out with each other and stuff.
I could see as a death metal dude going, yo, female death metalers.
This is our house.
This is a Nordic thing.
And you making it all about gay is antithetical to the Satan-loving death metal.
You wouldn't be speaking that way, though, would you?
Oh, yeah.
You'd be like, like, metal's kind of like, like, no offense, but they're actually kind of like soyboy-ish.
these metal kids.
All right, anyway, I feel like we're off to a slow start.
Let's check out the news.
Now, there's some horrible news.
People don't come to this show for breaking news, but when there's a vast shooting, we sort of have to say our take.
It takes away from the comedy because it's horrific.
I saw this video, I think a black woman shot.
She seems totally bored by the whole thing.
I was going to say non-plussed, but folks at home, non-plussed means surprised.
So stop saying it to mean bored.
Is it horizontal the whole time, though?
I think she switches it up.
Oh, in that case, I'll reset.
But I think she, I don't know.
Okay, just play it.
Oh, shit.
What's going on?
What's going on?
Oh, great.
Got some buffering.
Got some buffering.
So anyway, she seems quite calm.
Word on the street is that it's a gun-free zone, and everyone's bags were checked before they went in.
And the gunman actually came in through the fence.
He cut a hole in the fence.
Play it?
Oh, shoot.
They shoot him.
Oh, shh.
Who shoot up a garlic festival?
Look at them walk away with the kid.
She goes, ooh, they shoot him.
Who shoot up a garlic festival?
And it's just like, just like shaking her head sounding.
Grab the kid and run.
A six-year-old was one of the victims, I'm afraid.
There's three dead.
One of them is a six-year-old in a bouncy castle.
I don't like to talk about the shooter because they're doing this for fame.
Not that they're doing this to be on Gavin on Get Off My Lawn.
But I think the shooter might be relevant here.
He appears to be Iranian.
So we've got a few of our common tropes here.
One, Godfrey Zones are where shooters choose.
And two, this appears to be another example of the trouble with Islam.
He doesn't like white twats.
By the way, if you're Iranian and Italian, you're a white twat.
Sorry, guys.
You're in the same boat as me.
But yeah, that's pretty much as horrific as it gets.
And I hate how both sides are going to politicize this, just like I just did.
I hate how the other side's going to do what I just did.
I don't know.
I feel like this isn't a news show.
We don't come here for breaking news.
You got Breitbart.
You got Gateway Pundit.
Social media, Twitter will cover all this.
So we'll say our piece.
That's our piece.
You know where we stand on these shootings.
If it wasn't a gun-free zone, I heard people saying, well, the cops were there.
They have guns.
Yeah, but there could have been more guns than there normally are.
Secondly, we've said that there's a trouble with Islam.
And when the shooters, most shooters are suicidal.
About almost 90%.
I just want the biggest blowout for their death.
10% of the time, there's a political motive.
Out of that 10, about 1% is Christian and about 9% is Muslim.
So if you need to draw a political pattern, you're going to find it's a Muslim problem 10 times more than a Christian problem.
But generally, it's just a suicidal lunatic.
All right, can we start the show now, please?
Yes.
I feel like we're off to a slow start.
I feel like we're not having, we're not, it's not an enthusiastic show yet.
We do have coffee.
That helped last time.
Really?
You want me to get you a cup?
Has this been a stinker show?
No.
No, it's a Monday.
Garfield, if you're watching, I agree.
Check out this.
Okay, now we're going to do News of Clown World.
Front page of the New York Post today.
My bra saved my life.
Hmm.
Now, I'm not a journalist, but I seem to be better at journalism than most journalists.
You're supposed to have instincts as a journalist.
Like with Jussie Smollett, you're supposed to go, eh?
No.
Your bra saved your life.
Now, I'm familiar with bras.
Well, you just ruined the surprise, dude.
Go to the other one.
My bra saved my life, and you're thinking, so what was the clasp?
You had an enormous steel clasp that was like an inch thick.
How big are your tits?
You need basically a steel Rubik's cube to seal your Brazier.
And then they show her on the gurney.
Have you got that one?
That should be the next one.
No, there's not a third one there?
Yeah.
You show on the gurney and you go, wait, that's a sports bra.
Did she change her bra?
Where's the chainmail one?
And then in that same shot, you zoom in and you see the back of her.
She's got one of those weird back tits.
There's a hole in her bra.
Dear Liza, dear Liza, a hole in her bra.
Dear Liza, a hole.
How did your bra stop your bullet?
There's no blood.
Yeah, that's true.
Maybe it hasn't started yet.
Maybe they got that right up.
Maybe the bullet acts like a plug.
But how is that the clasp?
The journalist who's writing this should have gone, oh my God, that's a great story.
It should be on the front page.
Can I see your bra?
And he sees your bra and he goes, he should go, oh.
Well, it's not true.
Yeah.
Sports bras don't stop bullets.
That's a t-shirt, by the way.
Like, how, where did everyone's critical eye go?
That's right there on the page.
This is from the post?
Yes.
I have a feeling they're giving it to her saying that this bra saved her life, and it's the joke.
The whole joke is making fun of her.
They're feeding into it.
Like, this is what she said.
And here's the bra.
Once again, Ryan delivers the worst theories available to man.
No, the post has a sense of humor, though.
Not this kind of sense.
They don't mock black ladies who just got shot in the back.
Haha, bitch.
They're just reporting what she said.
So that's a ridiculous thing.
Are you saying it's like one of those, ain't nobody got time for that?
Yes.
That's ridiculous.
They're leaning into the loco.
No.
So whoever, I think maybe the people taking the pictures and the actual writer weren't, they didn't meet each other.
So he just got the story, wrote it down, and then the photographer was over there taking pictures.
And then he was like, Got my story.
Who cares that it's totally implausible?
Also, in Clown World, I'm watching TV the other day, and Trump is in trouble.
Apparently, it's racist to point out that Baltimore is a shithole.
And Trump's new thing is, when you complain about America and say how shitty of a job he's doing, he looks at your district or your home country, and he goes, well, that must be rocking.
If you're from Tokyo, yeah, you can tell Bill de Blasio that New York sucks because you're doing a better job.
But if you're from Somalia, Ilhan Omar, then I'm afraid you can't tell us how much America sucks.
And Rashid Talib, I think she was born in America, but she is a very strong pro-Palestinian Palestinian.
And Palestine, I don't think, could be worse.
I mean, they're all, when you get to that level of shithole, like the Congo, Palestine, Somalia, they're virtually indistinguishable.
They all look like LaGuardia, which I dropped my son off at the airport on Saturday.
It is in the Congo.
It is unbelievable, the cement pillars, and you have to go over this thing and under the...
And then we get there and the guy's like, where are you checking your baggage?
I'm like, why don't, can we just switch?
Because I think the Congo probably belongs here more than LaGuardia does belong in New York City.
Why are you here?
Why are you flying?
Fly, are you gay?
Fly or are you gay?
Fly or you're gay.
Yeah, that's the ultimate.
You're like, shit, I guess I'm taking a flight.
I'm jumping on.
I was joking in the car.
You gays are not allowed on this flight.
If you come on this flight, the ladies go to the back.
And you must pray to Jesus before we can take off because we do not want to crash.
He was not laughing.
No?
No, it's kind of, he doesn't get like that African airlines are probably kind of backwards.
There's nuance, sure.
Okay, so Trump said there's that guy who looks like a baby, that black guy.
He looks like a crying chocolate baby.
He, he, it's actually a, there's a meme of the Democrats being cry babies, and he looks exactly like it.
Or you know that mask you can get that looks like a crying baby?
He looks like that mask.
I forget his name.
But Trump said, why don't you fix Baltimore?
It's a shit.
He didn't say it's a shithole, but he said it's crime infested.
Okay.
Yeah, that's what he looks like.
He looks like the one on the top left.
That's the guy he was talking to.
That's the head of Baltimore, but black.
The guy who runs Baltimore.
Baltimore is one of the worst cities I've ever been in, I've ever seen.
I would go by it on the train when we would go to DC for CR-TV, and I was just shocked that it's not in the South.
There he is.
It's shockingly bad.
Roaches, rats, crime, shootings.
I mean, we saw the wire.
It is un-American.
It's so bad.
It doesn't look like it's in America.
Honestly, I'm not exaggerating.
So it's kind of a given.
Like, if I ran Baltimore and someone said, yeah, why don't you fix your own district?
I'd sort of go, look, okay.
It's sort of like the Mets when people go, your team sucks.
And I have to go, well, you know, we need a closer.
We're having some trouble with pitching.
And, you know, we got canoe.
But yeah, yeah, we have, we suck.
Even my kids, my kid always wears Mets stuff to school.
And the other kids, it's all Yankees at his school.
And they go, he goes, Mets, they go, Mets suck at him.
And he goes, you're not wrong.
That's how you should take it when you run Baltimore and someone says it's crime infested.
But what does the media do?
Well, they say the word infested is racist.
And then they start crying.
Let's check it out.
This is CNN.
This is news.
This is how the news is reported on CNN.
It's the only place like this.
It comes across as like a slam poetry jam.
Fox doesn't do this.
Not even Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck do this.
They do this sort of like weird social justice warrior pastor stuff.
All right, go ahead.
Nope.
That's the wrong thing.
No, it goes to the guy.
Okay.
It's just.
Let me give it a reload.
What's happened with the other Twitter link to it?
Keep it small then if it's not buffering.
Today, dude.
Oversight Committee Chairman Elijah Cummings.
He wrote this.
Cummings District is a disgusting, rat and rodent-infested mess.
If he spent more time in Baltimore, maybe he could help clean up this very dangerous and filthy place.
No human being would want to live there.
Correct.
Infested.
That's usually reserved for references to rodents and insects.
But we've seen the president invoke infestation to criticize lawmakers before.
You see a pattern here?
Just two weeks ago, President Trump protect four minority congresswomen.
This is totally dishonest journalism.
Crime infested is a common term.
Trump uses it all the time.
In fact, he used it to describe Jerry Brown and California being crime infested.
But they cut that out, and then they just put the icons of all the visible minorities and say, if the word infested appears near people of color, then it's a racist term.
Nice logic.
Why don't they go back to the totally broken and crime-infested places from which they came?
Reminder, three of them were born here.
All of them are American.
Infested, he says.
Wait a minute.
The crumpled up crying baby guy, he didn't say go back to Africa.
He said go back to Baltimore.
That's pretty reasonable, isn't it?
You're responsible for Baltimore.
Help me out here.
In January 2000.
You go back where you came from to Baltimore.
Congressman John Lewis should spend more time on fixing and helping his district, which is in horrible shape and falling apart, not to mention Crime infested.
Donald Trump has tweeted more than 43,000 times.
He's insulted thousands of people, many different types of people.
But when he tweets about infestation, it's about black and brown people.
That's not true.
September 2014 is the height of an urgent health emergency.
Why are we sending thousands of ill-trained soldiers into Ebola-infested areas of Africa?
Bring the plague to the U.S.?
Obama is so stupid.
Why?
Infested, he says.
There's a revolution going on in California.
So many sanctuary areas want out of this ridiculous crime-infested and breeding concept.
Infested, he says.
Just pause.
Jerry Brown.
That's California.
He just said, every time he says infested, it's about black and brown people.
And he just said Jerry Brown has an infested district.
What the hell is this clown talking about?
And again, the new attack on the right is just combing through like they're doing due diligence, like you're being audited, and trying to find a typo or something that you might have said literally typos or infested.
It's a secret code.
Now, if there's a world, this racist country, America, if your example of racism is these subliminal adjectives that might mean something, well, it's not exactly a dangerous place to be.
I think I would rather have a strange, suspicious adjective lurking in a sentence than I would go to Baltimore and get my head blown off for walking down the street.
I bet Baltimore has the same crime as New York City, and I bet that's one a day.
But don't look it up.
Right now.
Doodle ding ding.
Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
Then we got a tweet from Trenton.
No, go back.
That tweet was just mentioned, you kluts.
Wait, what are you doing?
You just jumped way ahead.
Resuming the video?
Is that resuming?
Yeah, okay.
Infested, he says.
There's a revolution going on in California.
So many sanctuary areas of that ridiculous crime-infested and breeding concept.
Infested.
The president says about Congressman Cummings' district.
This rig gets good that no human would want to live there.
You know who did, Mr. President?
I did.
Just pause.
And do you live there now, sir?
Or did you get the fuck out of there?
As soon as you could.
Now, here's the million-dollar question.
Is he, how real is this?
Like in North Korea, when the previous leader died, Kim Jong-il, or whatever his name was, and you saw people crying, I was watching the TV like a hawk, watching to see if actual tears came out.
And there were actual tears.
They were staining the cement.
So how much of this is pure acting?
Or there's a third possibility.
It's real.
It's fake.
He doesn't know it's fake.
Like, he brainwashed himself.
Oh, that was fast.
Wow, I can't believe you did your job.
I've watched this meticulously, and you do see stains on the cement where they're crying.
This is how they feel.
They probably want to cry like this all the time, and this is just a reason.
Yeah, you finally get a chance to.
See, look, stains.
I don't eat anything.
Maybe they're crying out of fear because if you don't cry, you're dead.
Yeah, that's all pretty.
A lot worth crying about in North Korea.
So I'm not sure how real that is, and I feel the same way about this guy with his...
You're someone who left there.
How are you proof?
That's not proof you wanted to be there.
And you don't live there anymore.
This is the worst argument I've ever seen.
Cry, baby.
How about some actual tears?
What are you doing, dude?
From the day I was brought home from the hospital to the day I left for college, a lot of people I care about still do.
There are challenges, no doubt.
But people are proud of their community.
I don't want to sound self-righteous.
But people get up and go to work there.
They care for their families there.
Where's the tears?
They love their children who pledge allegiance to the flag, just like people who live in districts of congressmen who support you, sir.
They are Americans, too.
We'll be right back.
So you don't want it to improve?
Yeah.
And he didn't give me any evidence of humans who want to be there.
He showed me one human who got out the second it was time for college and didn't come back.
And he said, the only thing he said bad about Baltimore is that there are challenges.
Folks at home, if you've never been to Baltimore, it is a shithole.
I'm petrified of Baltimore.
I did meet one human who likes it, though.
The guy who does drunk history.
What's his name again?
Derek Rivers or something?
He loves Baltimore.
Of course, he doesn't actually live there.
So he may just like the concept of Baltimore.
Derek Waters.
Derek Waters.
Like, I love 1980s New York when the clash played here and hip-hop was just starting.
I like that aesthetically to look at.
I don't want to go in a time machine to 80s New York and get the shit beaten out of me and get murdered and raped and fucking stabbed.
But aesthetically, it's pleasing.
So I have a sneaking suspicion, even with Derek Waters, he just sort of likes the concept of Baltimore, but he clearly doesn't want to live there.
Look at that place.
Is that America?
It's like roughing it.
It's like Pakistan.
Baltimore's West Side Hood.
Okay, also, saying that it's rat-infested, by the way, is a horrible thing to say, right?
Because it's not rat-infested.
It doesn't have so many rats that the streets are collapsing because they've burrowed underneath.
Jesus.
How dare Trump call Baltimore rat-infested?
Actually, in that same thing?
I think they have the mayor.
They caught her on tape saying this place sucks.
Is that on that?
Yeah, it is.
Check it out.
She says, just pause, pause.
She says, we need to just take all this shit down.
This is the mayor.
And then she also says, ugh, you can smell the rats.
Wow.
Is she racist?
Yes.
What are you doing?
Just play it.
Why are you always dancing around?
Oh, I got to resize it.
What the hell?
We should just take all this to Target.
Who needs to smell the rats?
Under Baltimore's Violence Reduction Initiative.
She just said you can smell the rats.
About a year ago, city leaders identified some of the city's most blind-like neighborhoods.
What the hell?
We should just take all this to Target.
Who needs to smell the rats?
Imagine having silly rats.
You could smell them?
What do they smell like?
Does she mean like rotting dead rodents?
It really looks worse than most third world places I've ever seen.
What the hell?
Okay, here's the end of my news cycle.
There's another type of...
I think his background is comedian.
And not only is infested a secret racist word that's floating through the cosmos, but if you accidentally say color instead of culture, you're, again, yet another example of racism.
And again, if this is the racism in your country, pretty good country.
A misspoken word, an adjective that makes you uncomfortable, sounds pretty good.
We just don't want to destroy the color of the culture of the country.
Right.
We just don't want to destroy the color of the culture of the country.
We just don't want to change the color.
Sorry, the culture of the country.
Well, isn't that proof that America racism is alive and well?
He mispronounced a word.
He made a typo.
They are combing through our lives searching for typos.
Even this Proud Boys case that starts today on Monday, where if they get the maximum sentence, they're looking at 60 years in prison for defending themselves against Antifa.
They were ambushed by Antifa.
They fought back and won.
And that's 60 years in prison.
And I told you that my old show, the Gavin McInnes show, had been subpoenaed.
And I was going through the quotes that they want.
And they were taking out segments.
Now, I assume you can't show jump cuts, but what you could do is show a thing, then pause, and then show another thing.
Now, you've still taken out the middle, but you're showing unedited clips.
You understand what I'm saying?
Instead of jump cut, where I go, I go something like, these guys are showing up with bricks.
We need to kick their asses or they're going to kill us.
And then you just go, we're going to kick their asses.
And you cut out the top and the bottom.
Convenient ins and outs.
Yes, convenient ins and outs.
And what is that doing?
That's combing through for typos.
Meanwhile, the right is getting death threats and getting doxxed.
35 Proud Boys getting fired.
I have to sue the SPLC to try to, I don't know, regain my reputation, which probably is not happening, but at least I can get some sort of remuneration for their character assassination.
Somebody had a tweet and they let me know about it in my messages saying someone should shoot Gavin McInnes, just like last week.
Tweet's still there.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
You're seeing?
I got to pull it up.
I got to log in and all that, but just take my word for it.
I saw that thing.
Well, I have hundreds of those.
Yeah, insane.
Like the whole, I mean, look at the mainstream right with Maxine Waters and Eric Holder and Tim Kaine all saying we need to fight them on the streets.
Was it Tim Kaine, the one whose son is in Antifa?
Anyway, violence from the left is totally normal and not analyzed.
Anything remotely unusual, like the word infested or saying, blurting out color instead of culture, well, that's indicative of the Third Reich.
The Fourth Reich, I should say.
Speaking of which, I went to a bar after hanging out with Anne and Gina, Belafonte, and it's a punk bar called Strange Love on 53rd and 3rd.
And the guy refused to serve me because of my political beliefs, because of who I am.
I wasn't wearing a MAGA hat.
He recognized me.
And the funny part, too, is that I have way more punk culture in my background than that bar ever.
They're just sort of like a pop-up bar that is like, hey, we're a punky.
Meanwhile, all the bands on the wall, I know.
In fact, the guy who did it is called Pete Rules.
He's really hamming up his Queen's accent in this clip.
And show the bar.
Okay.
And he's the guitar tech for Sick of It All.
Sick of it all.
Hung out with them a million times.
Very close friends with their manager forever.
I remember them getting in trouble.
This rap band Deep Mob tried to sue them because they had the same logo, but it's just a common tattoo thing.
Yeah, there's Pete Rules.
Just go up.
This is his Instagram feed, but go up higher.
Look in the top right there.
This is kind of off topic.
The top right.
No.
That's not it.
The bum.
Oh, yeah.
Is that a day ruiner or what?
Yeah, I did not want to see that.
Sometimes Robert Crumb talks about this, the day ruiners, where you'll see something and you'll just think, well, that's never going to be in my life.
And you just become sad.
That's a sad bum.
Oh, the guy's pretty and everything.
Oh, yeah.
It's an Antifa bar.
Well, so I said to Bill Schultz, who I was with, I said, okay, I'm going to go back in.
Film me being refused service here, just so we have it on top of it.
No, no problem.
Do you come back to that?
No problem.
That's my Bill Schultz.
Yeah, that's the guy there.
With the glasses.
That's the guitar tech for sick of it all who doesn't serve mega men.
There he is.
He likes doggies, though.
They never have families, these guys.
They just have pets.
They're all doggy dads and cat moms.
All right, go to the clip.
Bill Schultz is not the best at camera work.
Hi.
I have an apron on.
I know he's filming it this time, but the answer is still the same.
You can't have a button.
You can have a button.
You can have a button.
Why not?
I've got to tell you why not.
You've got to snap off.
I've never told you the second time.
Is it good?
Are you getting all the good shit?
Did you catch that?
Ew, is he hamming up his accent to try to sound tougher?
That's gross, dude.
Yes.
And is that definitely the same guy as Pete Rules?
I know Pete Rules is a bartender at that place.
His face looks he looks much nerdier in that video than he does in that.
Let me check here.
Maybe it's not the same.
That's a bartender at Strange Love.
But I did notice on the Strange Love page, you got this guy at the top right.
That's him.
The one that looks like Wayne's.
Oh, I think I got it wrong.
Might be a different.
That's the guy.
Yeah.
Look, he's a badass.
Do you think he's hamming up his accent to try to sound more New York?
I did do that, didn't I?
Tell you that.
You got to step off.
This is your second time coming here.
The answer is still no.
It's gross.
Oh, you got your little filming thing?
And then I go, could I just get a bud?
And he goes, you can get a bud anywhere on this street, but here.
Very theatrical and lame.
Well, I prefer New Yorkers using their New York accent to sound tough than that.
Yo, you got to step off.
Don't front with me.
There's a tinge of that, too.
I don't got to tell you why not.
Why not?
Listen, I've got to tell you why not.
You got to step off.
Anyway, he returns his hands to a clasping position after everything.
That means his adrenaline is pumping.
So my solution to this, obviously, is not to be a little bitch and call for a boycott or try to get him fired.
This is my new favorite bar.
I'm just going to keep going on a regular basis, take pictures of me there, pretend that they sponsor the podcast, leave them great reviews, have Proud Boys meetups there, make flyers.
It's the official Proud Boys bar.
This now is the new MAGA bar of New York.
That's a strange type of love that you're showing.
Oh, fuck.
When you say something funny, it's like shocking.
Are you okay?
Whoa, I got kind of dizzy.
Oh, they fucking took our meme, dude.
Oh, but that's good.
Plenty of more reasons to like them.
Yeah, we love them.
I endorse Strange Love Bar.
It is the official bar of Get Off My Lawn.
It's a wonderful place.
Please, if you're a proud boy or you're pro-Trump, please leave them a great review and say how it's nice.
You know, in New York City, to be walking around with a mega hat, you feel like a pariah, but then you can go to Strange Love and feel at home.
That's the kind of place where mega men get to hang.
Thank you, Strangelove, for being a Trump-friendly zone.
All right, I also wanted to do a little pedophilia update.
Just check in on the most horrible thing imaginable besides killing kids, and that is sexualizing them.
Two things I noticed here.
The really strange tweet, speaking of strange love, from Stranger Things.
The Stranger Things account, which I've double-checked.
It's got like 5 million followers.
It's the real one.
Check out this tweet they put out on the weekend or last week.
Touch my butt.
I don't care.
90% of the show shows kids.
Sometimes you see an adult, but it's usually in the context of taking care of a kid.
What is going on?
I don't know what that means.
If you run the Twitter account of a show that is mostly about kids, don't ever have anything about butts being touched.
Is that too much to ask?
Isn't that weird?
Touch my butt, I don't care.
I can't see how that's not sexual.
Maybe a colonoscopy?
But you wouldn't say that to the guy.
We're ready with the camera, sir.
Touch my butt, I don't care.
Even the guy with the camera would go, ugh, God.
But here's an even weirder one.
BuzzFeed, I sent this to you as a separate thing.
These homos are talking about how much they love having sex on a hike in public, and they just gotta bring in kids into the equation.
Check this out.
I didn't want to say where, because maybe you weren't supposed to have sex over there.
We weren't hiking.
It was like a walk.
It was like a hike, okay?
Don't undermine the two miles that we walked.
So there was like the trail people walking in those bushes and then there was like an entire open field.
It started on the bench, remember?
We sat on a bench and I think I went down on him and then there was like a pathway so we decided to move.
That's when we walked behind the bushes.
There was definitely families and kids like everywhere.
Yes, there were.
There were family and kids.
Don't be playing.
I saw them for sure and I was like, keep on going.
It's okay.
I mean, that's like the adrenaline.
I was like, yeah, this is hot.
People are watching.
That's.
Did they think?
There were families and kids there.
Did they think when they said it?
Did they think when they posted it?
Are they thinking now?
Yeah, I mean, I don't want the news censoring people.
So if two gays say that it's really hot to have sex in front of kids, I don't want you to cut that out.
But I have a feeling that this was not presented as a, holy shit, this is, we're normalizing pedophilia.
I have a feeling that was presented as fun.
Meanwhile, the right is getting this typo, Gestapo, going through and saying, oh, you blurted out color instead of culture.
Oh, you said infestation in the wrong context that I don't like.
Double standards here.
You know what I think is going on too with kids?
So political correctness has said, no black jokes, no this joke, no that joke.
So people who want to do raunchy comedy really only have one venue, and it's pedophilia, weird kids stuff.
Like remember that SNL sketch where they showed Kristen Wigg was in love with her son and they had this weird sexual Relationship.
Now, if the rest of SNL that night had a racial joke that was unfortunate and a potentially anti-Semitic thing and some sexism and some homophobia and other dangerous topics, then that would just seem like another taboo, silly, gross thing to do.
But when all the other jokes are clean and your one dirty joke is sex with kids, it really stands out.
And then we start normalizing this disgusting view of children.
And the next thing you know, trans kids are cool and Desmond is amazing.
And we've really singled out one group.
Everyone is protected here, but kids.
That's not the deal with Western society.
What does it say over the old bill in London?
It says, help the poor and protect the children, or something like that.
And this is the same big giant sign that Tommy Robinson has to walk under while he goes to jail for embarrassing pedophiles.
His second stint in jail for embarrassing pedophiles.
Defend the children of the poor and punish the wrongdoer.
Yeah, that's it.
All right.
How about the children of the rich?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Yeah, if a rich kid gets raped, I want the guy prosecuted too.
Hello.
I've just been assaulted sexually.
How much money do you have?
You're rich.
Fucking.
You should be happy that you got money, all right?
Sorry you got raped.
Let's go to Le Sac.
What's male in French?
Oh, that's dismay.
Yeah, I wasn't gonna.
Sac disme.
That's the man sac.
That's gross.
one Let me touch it.
Owen Benjamin responded to your bashing.
Uh-oh.
Now, when I do Milo and I with Milo, Yiannopoulos, we tend to get a little catty.
Maybe we've had some drinks before the show.
It's all in good fun.
I like Owen Benjamin.
The anti-Semitic thing is disturbing, but I think he's dialed that back a little bit.
And the bigger picture is I think he's an interesting human being, and I consider him a friend.
I don't bash the right, by the way.
I don't bash Ben Shapiro, any of the never Trumpers.
I happily support them.
So if Owen took what we said, and I think, I believe someone said, what do you think of Owen Benjamin?
I just sort of went, I think that's as bad as it got.
And that is pretty normal if you're talking about Owen Benjamin.
I mean, that's, come on, Owen, you're pretty outrageous.
You know, like I tried to get Ezra Levant on the show with him, and he was like, nah, no, he's too far gone.
So the general consensus on Owen Benjamin among the sort of mainstream right is that he's drifted too far off.
I'm still there for him.
I still love the guy.
Somebody ripped this clip too, and it says, this is effing real.
Gavin McInnes and Milo versus Owen Benjamin.
And it's just a clip of me doing...
Yeah.
Is that how bad it gets?
Maybe we said more.
Let's see it.
You haven't watched the clip and you're telling us what it says?
Well, we have Owen Benjamin on the show.
Dude, I don't have a problem with Jews.
Just the Earth's flat, dude.
If you don't think that you're an actual retard, an automate, and a soyboy, be a bear.
Why is your head so still?
Dude, I'm so stable.
Like, you can say whatever you want.
Like, big bear's stable.
Owen, you need to get out of the swimming pool.
Your lips are blue.
All right.
Later.
Is that it?
Yes.
Oh, come on.
Then we did it the second time.
Come on.
Then there was the gossip part, though, where you're like, what do you think about Loomer?
What do you think about Shapiro?
What do you think about Benjamin?
And that was pretty tame, too.
Come on, man.
We're comedians.
We get ripped on.
Plus, we get death threats and shit.
And our skin should be pretty darn thick.
I like Owen a lot.
Like, I think I dropped it.
That's why you do his imitation so well because you've listened to 900 hours of him.
Yeah, I do listen to him.
Dude, his thing on anti-porn was like one of the best streams he's ever done.
And that was like a week ago.
Very good.
Yeah, he's.
Wait a minute.
When I first met him, he introduced me to this military dude who had been killed.
And the guy had committed suicide, I think.
And part of his military career was being destroyed by political correctness or something.
I've liked Owen Benjamin from the first moment I met him.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ, we can't rag on our buddies a little bit.
It's just the middleman.
Everything gets all, you know.
I remember once Anthony said something about my squaw wife and she's going to be drinking fire water and then everyone said to me, looks like your boy stabbed you in the back.
And I looked it up and I was like, that's funny.
He's making jokes about my wife.
Idiots.
He's not like degrading her.
It's called a joke.
Anyway, damn it, since your website is called free speech.tv, I was wondering if you will directly talk to Owen Benjamin about what you and Milo have been saying about him.
Have been, what me and Milo have been saying.
He responded to you on Instagram Live, and I respect that because you guys started it.
Even Ryan, who is a total loser, by the way, is mixing it up.
So why don't you guys settle it by having him on your show?
Yeah, sure, no problem.
Well, after your charade on Beck's show, people are seeing how you suck the devil's dick.
What?
I thought you're already rich.
Why still dance for the nickels?
That's a little shekels reference, I think.
Speaking of infested codes.
Your fancy pants and lollipops ain't enough for you?
Have Owen Benjamin on your show.
He's way too controversial.
FreeSpeech.tv?
Don't think so.
Keeping my soul, Charmaine.
Is Charmaine a chick name?
I don't know.
It can't be a dude's name.
Although, isn't there Charlemagne the God, that rapper?
But that is a different name.
That is a different name.
Charmaine is a toilet paper name.
Charmaine Ultra.
Why did I appear on Beck's show?
I didn't appear on Beck's show after the firing because I didn't want to give them any business.
But Glenn Beck and Steven Crowder had absolutely nothing to do with me being fired from the Blaze.
The Blaze was bombarded with Antifa lunatics and social justice warriors.
And the top rask is risk-averse because they got through a brutal, they just finished a brutal trial with Mark Stein.
And I think they chickened out, they just became pussies and said, Okay, okay, don't harass us anymore.
And that was the end of that.
And more importantly, though, I go on these shows to promote free speech.tv.
I'm determined to get to 20,000.
And two months in, we're at like 11,000 now, I think.
I don't think 20,000 is a pipe dream.
Nope.
But the way I get out there is doing interviews, wearing the free speech.tv t-shirt.
So it's for the greater good.
And I think the app is going to be a huge boost.
Hell yeah, it is.
You know what's funny?
You get these guests like Coulter and Malcolm with huge followings, and they tweet out their appearance, and that gets you maybe like a few hundred subscribers at best.
But when these dumb liberals bitch about you and your stupid new show and how much it sucks, that's a thousand.
And a thousand is a hundred thousand bucks.
You know what I suspect is that they watch, like that's right-wingers possibly watching Cedar show or Pac-Man show to like get fodder.
And they're like, oh shit, I didn't know Gavin had a thing.
Terrible theory, once again.
Because right-wingers, no one on the right watches Sam Cedar proper.
They might see a clip on YouTube, but no one on the right watches stuff on the left, and no one on the left watches stuff on the right.
That's kind of the point of free speech.tv is let's try that.
Hey, righties, take a peek at the left.
Hey, lefties, take a peek at the right.
Like, I don't think Gina Belafonte knew that Ann Coulter is totally disappointed with Donald Trump.
Ann was talking about doing a book called In Trump We Trusted.
Yeah, you know what?
Now that I see it on your monitor, that bartender definitely wasn't Pete Rules, the guitar tech, for sick of it all.
It's a different nerdy guy.
Yeah, so leave Pete alone.
Although I'm sure Pete and Sick of It All and all those guys, all those punk dudes I used to know are totally on the social justice warrior side.
Even sheer terror.
I remember seeing sheer terror, Paul, what's his name?
The singer.
He was Zeke Isiling at Handsome Dick Manitoba's.
Every single customer that came out, I won't do the Zeke Isle, but he's like, Zeke Isle, Zeke Isles.
Everyone left for the night?
Like that?
Yeah.
Oh, that's all he needs.
We should put that on the flyer.
Yes, make that a gift.
No, but then you're calling Proud Boys Nazis.
And he just did it as a joke.
He was goofing around.
But now he's, you know, all that sort of New York hardcore scene is, they're kind of politically correct.
Like, I wouldn't be surprised if Sick of It All kicked out Proud Boys if they came to one of their shows.
Those are all Iranian dudes.
I like those dudes a lot.
And I don't care if they hate me or whatever.
But they do think 9-11 was an inside job.
And once I heard that, I was sort of like, I don't want to talk to you anymore.
All right.
Ready?
Yep.
Letter number dude.
What video was that you were just showing?
Well, I wanted to let everybody know that they could share the response to Kasperian, Pac-Man, and Cedar on YouTube.
So it's on the free speech with Free Speech TV.
This is the perfect time for you to zoom out.
That is fully zoomed out.
No, it's not.
Check it out.
And we're getting border.
But why don't you show the upload?
Oh, you want all that?
Click on the title.
Yeah, they can see the number of views, all that stuff.
More information is always better.
338 views just uploaded this not too long ago.
Just brand new, brand new.
Take it easy.
Bear with us.
Bear with us.
Should I put that on mine, or will it get me kicked off?
You know what in Canada in the fall when you start stepping on ice ponds and they start going, that's me on YouTube.
I am going to be booted any day now.
I can only put it on my account like kittens.
Because if I put up anything, like I want to do, I'm going to do a free speech.tv presents on shithole countries and how these people keep going there in denial that they suck and they keep dying.
And that's going to get me booted up.
This is your YouTube.
What's that?
My YouTube?
Does he go in the water?
Quad does.
What a dumbass.
What a bad idea.
You ever quad on top of the?
Oh, that's it, right?
They're pretty hardy, though.
And I know you're screwed.
You need it to get pulled out.
There we go.
Got a winch.
One time I had an ATV stuck on a tree stump.
So the tree stump is like this.
It fits so perfectly in between the two tires that it was like it had been locked in, like a snap-on tool.
And the way you get an ATV out, this one we would go tree planting, the way you would get it out is you have to lose your temper.
So you pretend it like hit your mother in the face and you just go, ah, because I think they're about 600 pounds.
So it's just on that level where if you totally Bruce Banner it, you can get it out.
So I went like fifth try and I got it over the stump.
But they have these little cleats that are the brakes and the cleat, it kept going, climbing up and the cleat went into my buttock.
Oh.
Like it pierced the skin.
And then I was going, and your natural instinct is to rev. And as I would rev, it went deeper into my butt cheek.
Yeah.
That's horrific.
People got some problems out there on the ice.
Uh-oh.
I'm worried that the friction is going to make the other truck sink.
Perhaps.
Dude, what were you doing driving on a frozen lake?
I don't know.
It's a Toyota tundra.
If he drives fast, it's just going to snap.
I think they got it out.
Oh.
What's happening here?
No, no, no.
See, ladies, trans women who want to become men, this is like the most interesting thing a man can watch.
We love this.
This is Gay for Men type shit.
Oh!
That's like popping a pimple or something.
That felt good.
We're out.
All right.
Let's not get invested in another one.
Yeah, that could become a whole.
Stuck trucks.
Yeah.
That'll be a whole episode.
We should start recording some evergreens for summer holidays.
Hell yeah, brother.
Family advice needed.
One of the minor children in our family has declared that he is no longer a male.
And when he says minor children, he means like a seven-year-old.
Instead, he Wants to be a she.
This hyper-odd new declaration has thrown me for a loop.
I'm so depressed reading this.
This train crash is exaggerated because the child lives in two households.
A cliche example of the result of divorce.
Correct.
We are a Christian household.
The other household is deeply steeped in an affluent East Coast regressive social justice warrior typical ethos.
What does one do when your male child declares that they are going to dress in women's clothes and makeup?
In essence, he's going to be in drag or a cross-dresser.
What do you do when the other household is willingly going to encourage this behavior in a predictable virtue-signaling manner when they are more than willing to trot out their new pet to show others their tolerance?
How do you guide young people away from these destructive lifestyles?
The male child has partially communicated his dysphoria with his genitals.
This pessimistic side of me, no, the pessimistic side of me fears the other household is going to encourage hormones, surgery, etc.
I wouldn't worry about surgery, but hormones is definitely a valid fear.
This is clown world, when an inexperienced child can be encouraged down a dangerous path.
In any case, what advice do you have?
How's that for the problems with divorce, huh?
Shaisa.
That's terrible.
Tough spot.
Yeah, I mean, if a kid wants to dress up as a girl for Halloween, it's not a big deal.
But this idea of switching genders, I would just say no.
And you can get in big shit for that, so you better tread lightly.
Because I think in Canada, a dad was jailed for misgendering his son, which means I'm not going to call my son a she.
So that's illegal to not call your son a she in Canada.
Clown world.
And by the way, can you imagine a black guy going to jail for that?
Or a Korean or a Muslim?
It seems directed at one particular group, this whole, take me seriously.
And these hormones that you give the kids do serious damage.
They're permanently infertile.
There's been studies that say they're IQ lowers.
You understand what the hormones do, right?
They take these pills to stop puberty because puberty would be too disturbing for them.
Me and my friend were talking about this too.
When they see it and they have the drag queens come to the thing, they're like, oh, cool, I want to be that.
Dude, I wanted to be Batman when I was that age.
Yeah, it seems to me.
You want to be everything.
You want to be weird and unique.
Yeah.
And if you're gay and you're born gay, great.
But try being gay when you turn 18 and run around the East Village in some red leather short shorts.
Then get back to us before you start chain permanently altering your chemical composition.
I don't envy this dude.
Dave, you're in the fight of your life.
I would look up what the law says about misgendering because if you're in a divorce, this might help her in the custody battle and really screw you.
But outside of that, I would do everything within your power to prevent this.
It's okay to be gay.
It's not okay to start altering kids permanently.
You can't get a tattoo till you're 18.
But you can start changing your gender at seven.
That's stressful to read about.
G'day, g'day.
Hello from Australia.
Ryan is the pinky and the brain.
If you do read my letter on the show, please use your shitty Australian accent.
It's terrible but hilarious at the same time.
Yes.
I'm so glad you left CRTV because the PG version of Get Off My Lawn with No Swearing was just as enjoyable as the Gavin McKinnis show, was not as enjoyable as the Gavin McKinnis show.
Loving the new format now that you're out on your own.
And even though Ryan is as useless as an ashtray and a motorbike, his stupidity brings a lot of great comedy to the show.
I went on a motorcycle ride with this ex-cop yesterday, and he would smoke.
He goes, only time I smoke is when I ride and when I drink.
That's badass.
What speed?
But, oh, we didn't go above 40.
We're just tooling around like parkways.
Yeah, you can smoke 50.
40.
No, this ember would always blow off.
So every time we came to a stoplight, he'd be fumbling in his bag to get his lighter to relight it.
And then it would turn green and he'd be putting the thing back.
And the cigarettes would last like a minute because you're blowing on them, basically.
Yeah, the air is...
It's weird.
And when you blow out, they're not really blowing out.
It's like just hitting your face.
In a convertible, if you smoke in a convertible, similar thing.
Is it possible to be in a convertible and not be a douche?
Yes.
I don't think that's true.
If you're kidnapped by douches.
His stupidity brings a lot of great comedy to the show.
Ryan reminds me of Pinky in an old cartoon called Pinky in the Brain.
Brian was always asking Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Okay, so I guess we'll show a clip of this.
I'm uncomfortable with this because I get the feeling that you watched this cartoon after the age of six.
Who me?
No, no, him.
Oh.
Unless he's my age.
This was when I was a kid.
I was definitely a kid.
Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?
Sure, Brain, but how are we going to find chaps our size?
I think so, Brain.
Okay, we get it.
So you're a dumb mouse.
I think so.
What are we going to do tonight, Brian?
Is it a British show or Pinky's British?
They all kind of sound a little British, huh?
And it's an American show.
Also, I shared this video on Facebook the other day.
It perfectly explains women in the army and workforce.
Enjoy.
I guess we shall be enjoying in this.
Wait up.
What?
What army is this?
Ocho, Tres.
Oh, shit.
Maybe it's Spain?
Yeah, it could be Spain.
Look at this.
We know where this is going.
No!
By the way, who, look, It's a cannon.
It's for blowing holes in castles and ships and tanks.
Why is my baby sister's friend tasked with igniting it?
This is female cops, too.
This is a female cop arresting a six-foot-tall giant drug dealer.
You know what's funny?
I had her arrest political argument over the thing.
Short story: One of the parts was, I said, Do you think there should be female fire?
He's like, Absolutely.
He's like, There are women stronger than you because you're.
Oh, there you go.
What a relief.
And that's is that a brolic chick, or is that a dude?
That's a chick.
I mean, that's a dude.
Okay.
By the way, little word of advice: if you're going to walk to the other side of a cannon, go around the back.
Go around the back.
I would definitely go around the back.
Make that a habit.
But what are you talking about?
In this political argument in the bar.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Ryan, you haven't told the viewers any of this.
So you are finishing a story you told me before we started recording, and you said it on air.
I'm telling a chunk that is a.
But you introduce this as you go, yeah, in that political argument, and the viewers at home going, what?
Incorrect.
Rewind the tape.
said in a political argument at a bar this weekend.
No, you've got to introduce it more than that.
Especially when we're I thought that was just never going to happen.
Well, it happened right when you were blathering on and confusing everyone.
Ryan got into an argument with a liberal at a bar this weekend.
Did you get kicked out of the bar?
I got told to step away the first time, and then I was just like, you got to leave.
Oh, you got kicked out.
Yeah.
What time?
I was leaving anyway.
Oh, this was Saturday.
It would have been cool if we both got kicked out of a bar at the same time in different parts of the world.
That would be cool.
So I got kicked out Friday.
You got kicked out Saturday.
Yeah.
But before the kicking out, this has nothing to do with that, but just this one little Onage point, I said, do you think females should be firefighters?
And she said, yes.
And she says, you know, you couldn't be a firefighter, you little shrimp, or something like that.
And I was like, my point exactly is that if you're not physically capable of being a firefighter, you should not be a firefighter.
Ergo, women not being fighters depends on their strength, my brother.
Yeah, look, it's very simple.
You know, there were these black firefighters in New York who sued the FDNY because the test was too hard.
And they said it's racially biased.
And their proof was that black people tended to do badly on it.
But the test is all about smoke and stuff.
And then they said the actual physical test was too hard.
And it's just like there's a room called the smoke room, which apparently is the worst part of the whole test.
You have to walk through this room of smoke and try not to die.
And a lot of them just say they can't do it.
Okay, then you can't be a fireman.
That's why those tests exist.
And you should be able to lift a me.
I'm 190 pounds.
I'm a normal-sized human being, right?
You should be able to lift a me on your back, not a 600-pound person.
That's too much to ask.
I could definitely lift you.
Yeah, you could definitely lift me.
And I don't think we could find a woman today who could lift me.
I think we could walk around New York for two hours and we wouldn't find a woman who could throw me on her back.
Now, such a woman exists.
There's some big Viking Olga and she should be in the FDNY.
Fine, go nuts.
But Vern Troyer should not be in the FDNY.
Right.
And I would say 90% of women are not capable.
Anyway, by the way, those black dudes, I told this story on the show already, right?
The trial went on for 10 years, and eventually they won.
They got 10 years of back pay as firemen.
That's insane.
Meanwhile, there was guys risking their lives, jumping into buildings, making the exact same amount of money.
Unbelievable.
Isn't that nuts?
That's unbelievable.
And meanwhile, the black people suing were working normal jobs, making normal money that whole time.
Was this in New Haven?
It was swept under the rug.
I know this from a fireman buddy.
Oh, I see.
So it's really hard to find.
Sheesh.
All right, last letter.
This is from Northern Ireland.
Dear Gav, English and Irish.
This is not the case.
The divide is between the Catholics and the Protestants.
The Prosies.
To this day, Irish Catholics are the minority in Northern Ireland.
It wasn't until 1970 that Catholics got the right to vote in the North.
And then we had 30 years of war known as the Troubles.
We're all a very patriotic...
Schools.
Even to this day, schools remain segregated based on religion, which in my opinion works well, as Catholic schools far surpass their Protestant counterparts based on grades.
There's all or if it was 11th of July, you could get placed on a bonfire.
Sectarian violence here is all part of the creaking banter.
Northern Ireland bonfires is worth a Google.
Despite being teams from Glasgow, everyone here is either a Celtics or a Ranger supporter.
Wearing one of these teams' jerseys in the wrong area could get you killed.
Same as in Glasgow, by the way.
Um, what are you doing?
Preparing.
We're not doing that for them.
That's Thursday.
Let them just hold it.
Um.
Wearing one of these teams' jerseys in the room could get you killed.
If you ever visit Ireland, stay in Belfast.
Dublin is Libtard capital.
Are you a Celtics or a Rangers fan?
You're sincerely, Owen.
Spelled really weird.
Um, I'm a Celtics fan.
Although I'm not nuts about them waving the Palestinian flag.
I like the Rangers too, though.
A lot of my cousins are Rangers fans.
My family, the McInneses, are ashamed of their Irish heritage, their Catholic past, which is why the name was changed from McGinnis to McInnes.
So, sort of the younger cousins in Scotland, we support Celtics just to make our parents and grandparents mad.
Although our grandparents aren't dead now, so we're just we do it to spite the old the older relatives because we're not ashamed of our Catholic background.
But I said patriotic English and the Irish.
But surely the Irish are the Catholics and what I call the patriotic English are the Protestants, right?
Or do you have British Catholics in Northern Ireland with British accents?
I can't figure it out.
I met, you know, when I was with Tommy Robinson last time, I met a lot of Brits who were in Northern Ireland.
And you go, what?
You're a British soldier.
You're a Protestant.
Aren't you uncomfortable in Northern Ireland?
And they go, at least it's not Muslim.
And it was white flight, whatever you want to call it, Protestant flight.
And they had all ran to Belfast.
In other words, the Brits who were the victims of the IRA, cars being blown up.
It was normal if you were a Brit up until like six years ago to have a mirror under your car, especially the soldiers.
And just before you leave for work every day, just make sure there's no car bomb under there.
They feel safer in Belfast than they do in London.
Oh, and then he adds, P.S., Jerry Adams was never in the IRA.
All right.
I'm not a Northern Ireland expert, but the Catholic-Protestant thing is all over Scotland, and Glasgow has the same rules about the wrong jersey in the wrong place.
It's funny, out of context, it must sound so weird.
It's like the English-French thing, where French terrorists literally bombed the English, killed them, and you tell that to an American, and they're like, what?
You guys are fighting over English versus French?
We're done.
We're out of time.
But before we go, we started this episode talking about music, and I just wanted to give a little shout out to the ukulele.
It's one of the most beautiful instruments.
Even the shape of it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
And seeing someone play the ukulele is just a feast, not just for the ears, but for the eyes.
It's an aesthetically pleasing instrument.
Have you got any ukulele music we could end on?
I sure do.
Oh, here we go.
I love the pitch of it.
Listen to that warm tone.
So warm and smooth.
Imagine, you know, you ever hold a ukulele, string out the strings, and you feel the vibration, just the jiggle of the strings?
I could sit and listen to ukulele all day.
It's something about it makes you want to lock the doors and just stay inside.
You know, eucalyptus oil you could rub on your ukulele and it'll be redundant.
It might not even help.
But yeah, M, not even T. I mean, M, not even E. All right, guys.
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