Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E37 - ICE Bae

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July 16, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:19:00

S02E37 - ICE Bae

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Watch with Kevin McGuinness and put on the weather.
	And I've trained myself to give up on the past.
	Cause I've frozen time between horses and caskets.
	Lost control when I panicked at the asset chest.
	I wanna get better.
	While my friends were getting high and chasing us down parkway lines, I was that is what's it called?
	I wanna get better?
	Yes.
	Oh, nice move.
	Smooth move.
	By the bleachers.
	By the bleachers.
	Jack Antonoff.
	He was also the songwriter and drummer and guitarist and everything for the band.
	Fun, which also had a lot of big hits.
	Remember Fun?
	You don't like that band?
	Oh, I hated them so much.
	Why?
	What?
	Just the meek lead singer's face alone.
	He looks like a lady.
	He does look like a beta male, but they're a really great band.
	I don't know.
	His voice is shrill.
	Okay, now we got to get into a fight.
	We are young.
	Could be a good song.
	Women look the man on fire.
	You know what?
	He's trying to sing like a diva, but he doesn't have the range.
	Oh, Mr. Range.
	That's gay.
	To talk about range.
	He's no Mariah Carey.
	No, he can't put his finger to the ear and whistle register.
	Show that video.
	It's really good.
	But there's something.
	The reason I chose that song is my wife and I were listening to it in the car coming back from a baseball tournament.
	And I'm like, it's such a jam, but it also, ugh.
	It's like got that Andrew WK super sound.
	And I hate this video too.
	It's all about therapy.
	This should have been like an anthemic chorus of people running down the street screaming like at the end of Animal House.
	Try it up.
	That's a couple.
	Is it the voice thing?
	It doesn't hit as hard?
	But yeah, just stop lowering the volume.
	Maybe overdid the reverb on the vocals?
	I was saying it lacked bass, but the bass comes in right there.
	Maybe you guys aren't getting along because she's a three.
	So it had, if you go like into the middle, there's a cool breakdown before the guitar solo.
	But I've never heard of Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
	My parents gave me this dog so I would get an abortion.
	I think he tried to kill himself.
	I don't want to be at work with a bunch of random people's daughters.
	It's justn't in the song.
	Waiting till I get dressed and then putting on the same thing is not fixing yourself.
	I don't know how to power clash.
	Maybe my problem is that you're such a stupid dick face.
	Oh, they're killing the rundown.
	The breakdown.
	That I'm not crazy!
	Oh, they ruined it.
	This video ruined the song, and it's already...
	Andrew WK knows how to make a power anthem where you just want to jump out the window and start killing and fucking everything that moves.
	I think it's the drums.
	Little soft on the drums.
	Is that the problem with that?
	It's the silent booster.
	That's not silent.
	What's that Andrew WK song?
	She's so beautiful.
	She's so beautiful.
	He's got all these like shit.
	I used to hang out with Andrew W. K. I discovered Andrew W.K. I should warn you.
	That is bonkers.
	When I discovered him, he was just, he had a ghetto blaster.
	And he would sing over top of a CD.
	That's what people did.
	And that was in an art gallery.
	People think he's like a jock.
	He's an art nerd.
	Kind of like Henry Rollins.
	But you know what I was thinking about him the other day?
	He's kind of, I don't want to say a poser, but he doesn't party ever.
	He smokes a lot of weed and makes music.
	He goes to bed at like 9 a.m. and just is in his studio all night long recording songs in a soundproof room that's in Midtown.
	That's pretty rad.
	Yeah, it's rad, but that's not partying.
	No, that's not partying.
	Partying, like, people with Down syndrome love to party, but they're not really partying.
	They're just having fun with their friends.
	Partying, sorry, it involves getting wasted.
	Wait, where's the fucking music?
	You've got to go back to the beginning.
	You've got to go back to the beginning.
	Four to the four drums.
	The way he boxed the beginning of this song, too?
	It's not the way Jocks behaved.
	He's a weirdo.
	I love him, by the way.
	Weren't you going to do a whole episode on him?
	I never knew girls existed like you Now that I do, I really like to get to know you Does he do all the music himself?
	Everything.
	Oh, shit.
	When he tours, he gets the death metal band obituary.
	That's awesome.
	This guy's me.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you guys are really similar.
	White teachers?
	Dirty?
	He's what you would hope to be in one million years of trying to be awesome.
	No, I'm cool.
	Enough.
	No, you're not.
	I'm him.
	That's not true.
	That's me.
	Thangs.
	Your music is gay and it sucks.
	No, it's awesome.
	Your music is awesome and it rules.
	No, no, my difference there.
	No, mine rules.
	It sucks.
	Rules.
	No, no, no, mine rules.
	Oh, I bet it's true.
	All right, that's enough of that.
	Thank you.
	I'm glad we got it.
	Wait, before we totally abandon music, did I already wear this shirt on the holiday episodes?
	I don't want to overdo a shirt.
	I don't think so.
	What's the two fun hits, though?
	There's that anthemic one, but then there's the one with That's about the army.
	We want fun.
	No, no, no.
	I'm not talking about Andrew WK.
	The band fun.
	Jack Antonoff.
	Okay, yes.
	Fun band fun.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	I know it's hipstery and it's handlebar mustache and it's barista, but the songs are well written.
	What are their two things?
	We are young and carry on.
	Carry on, is that it?
	Yeah.
	What's the one with the battlefield?
	Uh.
	Great big storm?
	No.
	Just go by view counts.
	God, you suck.
	Some nights?
	Maybe it's some nights.
	Yeah, I think it's some nights.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Well, like come nights.
	Get it.
	There was some controversy because they thought in the song they said that being a soldier sucks.
	But they didn't say that, I think.
	Forget the controversy.
	Look up controversy fun lyric after this.
	Some nights I see you're catching in my back.
	Come on, this is a jam.
	A pretended journey or something in the 80s.
	I don't like listening to Estrogym.
	It makes me jelly too when I think of it.
	Anything Civil War makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
	620,000 men die.
	The equivalent of 5 million by today's population.
	And when they weren't shooting each other, they were very uncomfortable.
	It's American Holocaust.
	Oh, yeah, I was thinking of that, too, how hot they were in those wool suits.
	And always wet trench foot.
	You know who else loves this song?
	Ellen DeGeneres.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's Jack Antonoff.
	We just saw him on the drums.
	That's the guy from the bleachers who was just a therapist.
	Excuse you.
	I'm the drum.
	Sorry, the drum single.
	All right, that's enough.
	Jack Cantonoff, by the way, dated Leah Dunham.
	Yeah.
	I sent you an article where it says they broke up and you look at the picture and you go, yeah, I figured.
	He writes for Taylor Swift and he's a pop song machine, which is a very rare gift.
	I'd say there's one every five years who can just churn out pop hits or any kind of hit.
	Like, what's his name from Rancid?
	Tim Husitz, who just would pump out all these punk pop hits.
	I would liken it to being an MLB pitcher throwing fastballs at 100 miles an hour.
	It's just that rare of a talent.
	And he has it, and he chose Leah Dunham.
	Maybe that's why the suicide attempt came in.
	Look at the picture I sent you.
	Okay.
	I told you I sent an email about it.
	And you're, what are you doing?
	You're looking at like Reddit or something?
	No, no, no.
	I think the thing is that it's saying that it's okay to cheat on your soldier or something?
	No.
	Some nights, controversy, lyrics.
	Yeah, that's Leah Dunham.
	Look at her.
	Now, I think he might be doing something that's actually quite intelligent.
	And I did this in high school.
	I lost my virginity to this slut called Big Kimmy.
	And she was seen as a slut at school.
	And that's bad for business as far as you ever getting with another girl.
	So you have to revamp your brand because it's seen as cheap.
	She's a wonderful girl.
	It's sad that this had to be done.
	But after her, oh man, that air drumming made my pen explode.
	Dude.
	Oh, man.
	That's my genuine reaction to things.
	Like, my toe could be missing.
	I'd be like, oh, man.
	Ah, geez.
	Ah, that's such an aw man thing to happen, get covered in black ink.
	Ah, geez.
	This bites.
	It's like when Lisa Simpson drew that picture of Mo that was really insulting and he goes, ah, you got the stink lines and everything.
	That's how I feel right now.
	Hey, Omaha like when you get a letter that says you look like Tarana Burke.
	Oh man.
	It sucks.
	All right.
	Problem solved.
	So then I went out with this other chick named Christine, who was not very attractive, but was super funny and well-liked.
	And then it was like, it was really cool that I love that you and Tammy are together.
	You guys are awesome together.
	I was like, yeah, whatever.
	And then the next girl I got was like a nine.
	She's a grade or two younger, but I had earned all this, you know, normal girl commission.
	And that's why I think Jack was dating Leah Dunham.
	His next chick can be an absolute whore.
	Like he could have Iced T's wife.
	Now, Coco, whatever her name is.
	Coco.
	Because he did all this work with a woman who's very credible in the female community and totally not valuable to the male community.
	That is sad.
	All right.
	Did you find it yet?
	No.
	Why are you not good at things?
	Some nights lyric controversy.
	Nothing.
	Nope.
	And the band name.
	There was an article, I'm guessing, that you saw about it, right?
	Yeah, they had to clarify they didn't mean that.
	It's like, what have I done?
	What am I doing here?
	Why did I join this stupid gay army?
	I see.
	Not quite that.
	All right, let's move on.
	I know that there's going to be a lot of people at home who want your job that are going to find it in a nanosecond.
	Bet not.
	You can email it to me if you find it.
	Okay, frankly.
	If you find it.
	You got to make that video for Roger Stone today where you act like Donald Trump and tell people to go to Stone Defense Fund, is it?
	I'll look it up and make sure.
	I think it is Stone Defense Fund.
	Why don't you look it up right now?
	Human Snail.
	It's a fun thing.
	Yeah, you're giving up on that.
	You failed that mission.
	It's not here.
	All right, let's talk about Oh my God, you're so torpid.
	You're so lugubrious.
	What?
	Why are you still with fun lyrics?
	This is torture.
	Is everyone at home suffering like I am?
	It is.
	Working with you is like a slow-motion colonoscopy.
	What's the name of the URL?
	StoneDefenseFund.com.
	All right.
	Let's talk about some hot chicks.
	This is a fun.
	Yesterday was a heavy day.
	We had to talk about gun violence, and we have a few serious things.
	We've got a murder coming up.
	But I wanted to have a bit of fun.
	Let's talk about hotties.
	I love talking about hotties.
	And amidst all of this border stuff, there is a random chick who has appeared.
	And she's known violally as Ice Bay.
	And she is a border guard in Texas.
	There's a picture of her right above me.
	And she is a pretty solid And this is definitely a 7.89.
	What do you think?
	It's the same race as you, right?
	She's got my nose.
	I'm not Mexican.
	Yes, you are.
	No, I'm not.
	Puerto Rican?
	I'm Andrew W.K. You don't.
	Yeah.
	You guys are about the same height.
	He's probably 6'4.
	His shoulders are as wide as a Honda Civic.
	That's about you, right?
	Yep.
	Yeah.
	It's funny when you read the British press about Andrew.
	They're not used to seeing a normal-looking, handsome gentleman.
	So they're like, with his model runway looks and his mile-high cheekbones, Andrew W.K. And it's just like a dude.
	Just like a normal guy that would be in sales at your company.
	So show the video of Ice Bay.
	There she is.
	What would you give her there?
	I'm not impressed.
	Are those boobs fake?
	Why do girls do that when they're young?
	First of all, never have fake tits, but at least if you are, wait until they're terrible.
	Are they fake?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, I'd say there's fake tits.
	That's no makeup.
	I'm not impressed.
	Wow, you're picky.
	7.7 cheeks and the nose.
	I would never go below 7.7, and that feels really mean.
	Which brings us to someone was saying that we need to have more standard American beauties on our 25 list, which we should really revamp that list and tackle it.
	But someone was suggesting Paige Spiranak.
	She's a Sab.
	She's a Sab for sure.
	She's a what?
	Standard American Beauty.
	Sab.
	Sab.
	Standard American Beauty.
	Did we make that a thing?
	I don't think that's her, by the way.
	I think someone made a mistake.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	But the other pictures are her.
	Okay.
	So stay there.
	Jesus.
	That's not a very good picture of her.
	Really?
	Yeah, let's see some more.
	There's Paige.
	Yeah.
	This is standard American beauty.
	This is really hard to explain, but that's not my type.
	I get you.
	And you know what it might be?
	Those kind of standard cheerleader super blondes were never attracted to me.
	So I think as a survival mechanism, my tastes have morphed.
	Like, I've always been into sort of ethnically ambiguous brunettes.
	And that might be because those are the only ones who would give me the time of day.
	So I altered my tastes into that.
	You know what?
	There's a difference between hot and having like no flaws.
	And hot doesn't mean sexy either.
	Right.
	Like the Victoria's Secret Girls are perfect, but I'm just like.
	Yeah.
	There's nothing to latch on to there.
	And when you get to that level of beauty, you become kind of masculine with the cow catcher chin and the strong features.
	You're like, I could shave your head and give you a three-piece suit, and you'd look like at least like Rup Hall when he dresses up like a dude.
	That's a cool one.
	Because her lips are a little puffier there.
	Yeah, and maybe going out with her would be heaven on earth.
	I don't think I've ever dated a normal hot blonde.
	Maybe it's the greatest thing ever.
	NHB.
	It's like hanging out with your fraternal twin.
	Yeah, I see what you mean.
	There's really not much there.
	I don't know.
	I need like a gap in the teeth or a mole.
	That's kind of cute because you got the pixie nose.
	Or acne.
	If she had acne scars.
	That's fun.
	You know what I mean?
	She had this disease where it was brutal flatulence non-stop.
	She sounded like a motorboat walking down the street.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	This brings us to the news.
	Eliza Schlesinger, by the way.
	Oh, is that her?
	Who's that?
	No, Eliza Schlesinger.
	She's a comedian.
	Yeah, that's a little too not beautiful.
	That's a bunny wabbit.
	Oh, I've seen her.
	She dresses kind of like slutty, fancy.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	She looks like my friend Frankie too much.
	Okay, that's what the readers really want to, viewers really want to hear about is someone, some stranger.
	You got to understand you're talking to people, Ryan.
	I went to school with some kid named Frankie.
	Yeah, no one knows what you're talking about.
	Man, he looks like that, but with no hair.
	Should I undo this one more?
	No.
	Yeah, actually.
	Not two shabs.
	I want to look like a deadbeat dad who is a bartender in Hawaii.
	That's fun.
	And I can't drive because of my Deweys, so I take the bus.
	I'm the only white guy on the bus in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, outside of Orlando.
	Boat shoes, brand new.
	I don't leave in the summer, too.
	I don't mind the heat.
	I just wear my flip-flops.
	You need a Puka Shell necklace.
	Blew up my flip-flop.
	All right, so Puerto Rico is having some kind of revolution.
	I don't know.
	They got a new governor they're not a fan of.
	I guess he's a jerk.
	Puerto Rico, by the way, remember we said Trump, we were, Trump was criticized for saying, I'm giving the money for this hurricane, but you know all the politicians are going to take it.
	It's so corrupt there.
	And everyone got mad at him.
	That's apparently racist now to say that Puerto Rican politicians are corrupt.
	And then there was a massive swamp drain where they arrested like five major political figures in Puerto Rico.
	And so I guess they've got a replacement now.
	And the people are not a fan.
	They're not fans of this new guy.
	Look at it.
	This is going down.
	Oh.
	That's Fuego.
	Uh-oh.
	What are they saying, Ryan?
	We don't like it.
	We don't like it?
	This stinks.
	Yeso stinkos?
	Yeah.
	They sang, ay que fueg.
	So I sent you this as a separate.
	What's that?
	Renanciado.
	I guess that means renounce.
	I sent you a picture, though.
	Sorry to not abandon the perv angle we're going for here.
	I think women like this perv stuff, by the way.
	Oh, is it?
	they get to hear how men talk behind closed doors, and they realize that they were a lot less predictable than they thought.
	Okay, so I'm looking at this picture, and I don't know why women think...
	Siempre puta.
	What is that?
	Always a whore.
	Always a whore.
	And that's not true, by the way.
	Is she saying that men always see women as whores?
	Oh, I see.
	No, that's not true.
	You got to be a real slut before we think of you as a whore.
	And you're the one having slut walks and stuff.
	But anyway, while I was looking at this picture, I just couldn't help but think that no matter how much women try to just be you still, their innate beauty just emanates from them.
	Like, look at the ribs under that right breast.
	Yeah, that's cool.
	And the shape of her legs, her stature.
	Everything is just so smooth.
	What is that?
	The studio next door blaring music?
	Maybe workers in the hallway.
	Is that Jimmy?
	What a douche.
	No, that's Sunshine by Cream.
	Oh, duh.
	But yeah, I know what you mean.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I saw some woman, she was at the airport.
	She was just sitting down reading a book, and the way her legs were sort of poised, it could have been a statue in Rome.
	They're just, everything about them is just so elegant.
	And I'm not talking about the fat pigs who vandalize their bodies, but when they're just normal and in a normal amount of shape, just even when they run, they're just like the way their shoes go on the ground.
	It's just everything about them is so woman.
	Graceful.
	Even like, I don't know, the way they eat, there's just this innate beauty in women that men will never have.
	Maybe they see us the same way.
	Even in boxing.
	Even when the little Latina is at my gym, what are you doing?
	Dainty.
	What are you doing with your phone?
	The parlor post came up.
	Speaking of Puerto Rico.
	A parlor post came up, yes.
	And it clarifies the word poppy.
	Okay.
	So you're checking parlor as we do the show?
	No, no, no, I'm prepping it.
	And listening.
	Oh, I see.
	So something came up you thought it'd be interesting for the show, and you're playing it, even though we haven't talked about poppy for 24 hours.
	Well, we're talking about Puerto Rico.
	Oh, okay.
	That's fair.
	That's fair.
	So hot chicks are getting naked, saying I'm always a slut.
	Is that maybe the new governor is pro-life?
	This isn't a very informative news show, is it?
	People in Puerto Rico are freaking out about something.
	And some of the women who are freaking out wrote slut on their butt, and they look gorgeous.
	And look, a fire.
	That's my news.
	And some sort of fire is going on.
	Tune in.
	What are you doing, dude?
	All right.
	I'm just going to read it.
	It's as follows.
	Papi literally means daddy and papa means dad.
	But it's used as a terminal of endearment in Puerto Rico in the Caribbean.
	Papi and mommy are also the way couples refer to each other.
	Maybe old Puerto Rican thought that you were flirting or something.
	Yeah, I know.
	It means like buddy, but almost honey.
	Yeah.
	Like you'll yell to your kid, hey, Poppy, like your son.
	But what you thought, you thought that he thought that you meant he's old.
	I think there was an element of that.
	Because it was like, daddy, you're my daddy.
	So it was gay.
	It was old.
	It was too friendly.
	There was a million things wrong with me calling him Poppy, although I don't think it would have been that bad if he was the grandfather.
	All right.
	So Lindsay Shepard is this Canadian feminist who's normal and reasonable.
	You know, like Cornell West is a liberal, but he's a free speech liberal from old school 1960s Berkeley.
	So he's one of the good ones.
	Lindsay Shepard, I'm trying to get her on the show, but it's like getting nuts to a squirrel and she doesn't want to be a monster forever.
	But she was cannibalized by her fellow leftists for not supporting trans.
	And I can't remember how I came across this, but warning, this is about to get super raunchy.
	So there's some trans person who is, this is just a fat pervert.
	And his name is, what?
	Jessica Yanov?
	No, go back to the tweet.
	Go back to the tweet.
	Go back to the tweet.
	Go back to the tweet!
	And then, so go up a bit.
	What exactly does he say?
	At least my pussy is tight and not loose after pushing out a 10-pound baby.
	Great for using BABA vibrators and dildos, and the pleasure is just amazing.
	That reminds me, I need to do a review.
	Soraya.
	Lots of juice there.
	And Lindsay goes, how to tell someone is definitely not a woman.
	They say things like this, L-M-A-O.
	So Lindsay Shepard was booted from Twitter for this.
	I think this is ancient news.
	But so I looked into this Jessica Yanov person who's writing about his vagina like it exists and bragging about how fresh it is.
	This is a man saying this.
	I think it's an ugly, fat, nerd, perverted, straight male who's noticed he gets attention when he calls himself a proud lesbian who will never give up fighting for the rights of his fellow women.
	Look at, click on that picture.
	When there's no chance in Hades of you getting laid as a dude, then become an ugly fat chick like Leah Dunham, and all of a sudden, I don't know, you're getting some attention, and people get banned when they laugh at you.
	And this guy just talks about his vagina all the time.
	Hey, look at the foot.
	Ugh.
	Trying to replicate that daintiness you were talking about.
	Yeah, that's...
	They have gay sex and they feel like women all the time.
	And that, that, and they're lying there being you know made love to, and they go, I feel like a woman, but I'm not a woman, and I see women, and that for them, it's just a jigsaw puzzle piece, and everything makes sense.
	They're elegant, and then the man's with them, and they're they're lying on the bed, and it just looks like they're supposed to be there, and I feel incongruous.
	And that must bug you.
	I bet they have a higher suicide rate than men.
	I know trans definitely do.
	So, this is my theory.
	I think drag queens are gay men going, you know what?
	I'm sick of this looming weird feeling that I'm a freak and that I'm a bastardized woman.
	I'm going to make fun of it.
	And I think that's a healthy thing to do.
	Joking, you know?
	So when you see a man in drag, he's saying, he's lampooning this bizarre feeling you must have as a gay where you're just not right in your skin.
	And so you get this crazy thing and you go, yeah, I'm not right in my skin.
	Get over it, me.
	You know, the way cops make jokes about horrible things.
	So good, that's healthy.
	Go nuts.
	Have fun.
	That's nothing to do with children.
	This is why it's wrong to have drag queen story time and to have drag kids and Desmond is amazing because drag queenism is a coping mechanism for the strange feeling you have when you have a bizarre, sorry, but it's considered abnormal when you define normal as what's most common.
	You're 1% of the population.
	That's technically, that's unusual.
	So when you have this unusual sexual proclivity, you need a coping mechanism.
	They chose dressing up as the person they're not, like Halloween.
	Halloween, the pagan ritual, was to dress up as the dead to confront our innate fear of death.
	Exact same thing with drag queens.
	Don't drag kids into it.
	Actually, you could say the same about Halloween.
	Kids aren't scared of dying.
	Stop dragging them into Halloween.
	It's our holiday.
	Death and sex are two things that you stay clear of.
	Keep away from kids.
	Yeah.
	Time to throw a party.
	Hatred has no place in this world.
	Bye, Felicity.
	Oh, yeah.
	So this is her celebrating that Lindsay Shepard is banned.
	Is that a recent tweet?
	This was not too long ago.
	Let me see.
	July 15th.
	Oh, that's right around the corner.
	So Jessica Yanov, I look him up.
	It's John Yanov.
	And check out that link I sent you.
	He's a predator.
	Jonathan Yanov is a trans-identified male involved in the tech industry and has been on a litigious campaign against women in BC.
	He currently has 16 open suits against women for refusing to wax his testicles on the basis of gender discrimination.
	Yes, you read that correctly.
	Yes, we are living in clown world.
	He goes to bikini waxing places and says, hi, can you tend to my vagina?
	And they go, well, it looks a hell of a lot like penis and balls to me.
	And he sues them.
	And in Canada, we have the Canadian Human Rights Commission.
	But if you scroll down on that link, you see, what he's saying, go up a bit so you see what he says there.
	No, no, no.
	I meant, I want to see the caption below that picture.
	Okay.
	If there's like 30 girls in the change room, how many of them would you say are out there changing flea with their vaginas and tits out?
	Is that what women do when they're in the changing room with each other?
	They talk about having their vagina and tits out?
	Or is that a mentally ill gay who's just decided to dress up as a woman because it gets him attention and might get him laid?
	I mean, could this be a more obvious ruse?
	But scroll down.
	There's these disturbing chats on that thing where he's talking about how he has to ride a ferry and he's going to be going through heavy flow and he'll have to change his pads a lot on the trip.
	You don't have to change your pad a lot on a ferry ride.
	And then he said, what if there's a 12-year-old girl there and she asks me for help with a tampon?
	He's sitting there jerking off with this disgusting fantasy while he asks his fellow women what to do when a 10-year-old girl asks you about your tampon.
	This is a depraved animal.
	And if you recall, I lost my ad agency for calling the majority of trans mentally ill gays.
	This guy's worse.
	He's a mentally ill straight, pretending to be a gay.
	Look at that.
	Do you see tits and pussy ever at the pool or the sauna?
	He's a depraved pervert.
	Weird autistic nerd.
	You know what it seems like?
	That movie Jack with Robin Williams, like if you like, if there was a dark side of him, he says, so at the gym, do women bear all?
	And then he says, do you see tits and pussy ever?
	Yeah, we just discussed that.
	Not that line specifically.
	Yeah, that line specifically.
	Well, or maybe I'm confusing it because he keeps saying it.
	What's that one say?
	Like, even though I have a dick, unfortunately, I can be fully out there and change with them.
	Like, I don't want them to give me any issues or things.
	Yeah, that's why you're asking.
	You're asking because you don't want to go to jail, dude.
	That's the issue.
	Anyway, disgusting vermin.
	And this new, you know, in the name of tolerance, they'll accept absolutely anyone.
	And when you do that, you leave yourself vulnerable.
	It's sort of like Islam, where we say, refugees are welcome here.
	Come on in.
	I don't care who you are.
	And the next thing you know, you're getting raped.
	You have to have some discretion and trust your instincts, too.
	When a guy named John is asking you about his maxi pads, you should be wary of him.
	I noticed, by the way, in that chat, someone goes, I think he's a pedophile.
	And the other girl goes, that's a very dangerous thing to accuse someone of.
	You have to make sure you have proof.
	I wouldn't worry about pedophiles' rights.
	Your first priority is spotting them.
	Speaking of which, there was a girl who was murdered recently by a young man named Brandon Clark.
	I don't like focusing on the murderer, like in a mass shooting.
	You know, he's doing it for fame.
	But I think it's worth pointing out the murderer in this case.
	And it was a beautiful young girl.
	I think she was 17 in upstate New York, Utica.
	Utica, yeah.
	Utica.
	And this guy cut her head off, like OJ style, 90% off, and then posted pictures of it that they can't get off.
	Those are on 4chan right now.
	And they always post gore.
	You can't take down gore there.
	But this guy was just a friend of hers, and the families had met each other.
	And keep scrolling down.
	There's pictures of him.
	Oh, wait, that's her.
	That's the beautiful young girl that he murdered, 17-year-old.
	And there she is taking pictures of herself.
	She was an e-model on Instagram, had a lot of followers.
	There, he spray-painted that on the road next to her.
	May you never forget me.
	So he killed her.
	He put her under a tarp.
	And then when the police showed up, he laid on top of that same tarp and started stabbing himself in the neck so he could die with her.
	Then he posted a picture of that, too.
	No, he didn't.
	Yeah, I just read that article.
	He posted a picture of her in the tarp.
	He didn't post a picture of him stabbing himself in the neck.
	How would you do that?
	Yeah, just like that.
	I just read that article.
	So the police were grabbing him as he was stabbing himself.
	He's going to live and suffer.
	But the moral of the story is, A, don't let your daughter be an e-model.
	Don't let her post beautiful pictures of herself all over the internet where any lunatic, where some lunatic is going to fall in love with her.
	It'll obviously be unrequited.
	And it sucks to get dumped.
	So out of a million of us who are getting dumped, there's going to be a handful that are lunatics.
	And they go crazy.
	So why are you casting a net out so wide where you're almost inevitably going to find that one lunatic?
	No.
	I mean, I understand girls want to put up pretty pictures of themselves, especially when they're in their 20s and they want to look good and they want to document it.
	But to have a 17-year-old be an e-model is just asking for trouble.
	Now, I want to go even more radical, and maybe it's because I'm a father of a girl.
	But I would say, don't let your daughter have male friends that aren't gay.
	Like, why?
	Why would you have a male friend?
	You're just stringing along a dude, and that's dangerous because he might be mentally ill.
	When my daughter's older, I'm going to do everything I can to prevent her from having male friends.
	I don't see how it's healthy.
	And here's another even more radical belief.
	You ready for this one?
	Your daughter should not have gay friends after the age of 25.
	That's a mic drop.
	That is a mic drop.
	Do you know why?
	No.
	Because fag hags tend to be spinsters.
	Oh, right, right, right, right.
	Because they're in an environment where sex means absolutely nothing, and they're seeing their male gay friends go home with several partners every single night two, three a day.
	And so they go, I guess I should have two, three a day.
	And gays don't ever have to settle down.
	They just keep partying.
	It's one long party till they die of old age.
	So when women see that, their biological clock gets turned off, and they think, I can just be like Kevin here and party my ass off until I die of old age.
	And then when they're 40, they sort of check back in with the straight world and they go, wait a minute, I became old.
	Oh, no.
	And the gay's like, fuck it, honey, let's go out partying.
	And she's like, I don't really want to party anymore.
	Yes, you do.
	Come on, let's get some Coke.
	Eh, Coke?
	I'd love the worst hangover.
	So yeah, that's my radical belief.
	Radical.
	He did slit his throat.
	Speaking of radical, and then take a picture of it.
	He did slit his throat and took a picture of it.
	Yes.
	He allegedly pulled out a knife, slit his own throat, and then posted a photo of his neck gushing blood on Instagram.
	The police officer said, I apologize.
	Thank you.
	You were right.
	Thank you.
	I was wrong.
	Feels good.
	Tommy, Cassandra Fairbanks put out a video of Tommy that he released after he went to prison.
	Let's play a bit of it.
	So I'm in prison for the crime of journalism, for exposing Muslim paedophile rapists.
	British journalists don't seem bothered about this at all.
	They are puppets of corporate globalist media.
	In fact, they're not even journalists.
	They're activists.
	They want to control the narrative and, in effect, they want to influence public opinion.
	Your opinion.
	Anyone that challenges that control over public opinion is a threat.
	They're a danger.
	I'm a threat to the British political establishment.
	They haven't invested a lot of time and effort to sweep Muslim paedophile grooming gangs under the carpet to hide the reality.
	They know this issue is a tinderbox, ready to ignite.
	A small spark will light a fire that will rage for years to come.
	Be that spark.
	People have had enough.
	They're angry.
	And he's not calling for violence.
	He's calling for attention to this.
	And I've noticed the British left's answer to this is that sounds racist, that they're all Muslim Pakistani.
	So their contention is no, it's actually the right wing that are pedophiles.
	And I saw this disturbing thread that linked to that video where this woman lists all of the EDL.
	The EDL was the English Defense League, and they started out as a pro-British group, but they started getting taken over by racists and actual white nationalists.
	So Tommy said, all right, I'm out.
	I can't fix this problem.
	People say the same thing of Proud Boys, but that never happened.
	They just said it got infiltrated by racists.
	But the Proud Boys have successfully swept out the Nazis on a regular basis.
	Sorry, no anti-Semites, no racists.
	Bye, bye, bye.
	And that's because that's not what the West is about.
	The West is not about identity politics.
	But anyway, I was totstrigued by this thread, by some little girl that says he's trending.
	They love Dog Whistle.
	Whenever they say his real name, it means I hate Tommy Robinson and I want to put his family in jeopardy.
	But he says, here are some of Tommy Robinson's fellow EDL members.
	Shall we?
	And then she goes on to list about 10 EDL members with child sex charges.
	And it's the typical one is like he convinced 13 to 16 year olds to send them naked pics and then blackmailed them.
	And I started looking these up, and I realized what she's done is she's taken basically every non-Muslim child sex case or sexual, including what's it called, statutory rape, and then filtered all the right-wing ones and ignored all the liberal ones.
	So she's basically listing every sex offender that could, that has anything potentially UKIP on his Facebook.
	And then, of course, they're going to say they support the EDL because everyone right-wing has the EDL as one of the things they click on.
	What are you going to click on?
	The British National Party, UKIP, EDL, some soccer teams, Nigel Farage.
	That's what they all have in common.
	And then the opposite, you'd have Jeremy Corbyn, you'd have Free Palestine, you'd have a bunch of other stupid leftist socialist crap.
	And that way you can make it look like the problem is everywhere.
	But here's the deal, lady.
	You have about 100% of all the sexual assault charges that come from the right wing, and it's about a dozen.
	Tommy's talking about hundreds, entire communities dedicated, like in Rotherham.
	What was Rotherham?
	Was it 1,200 Rotherham sex assault cards?
	An entire industry, an entire culture of getting young girls into your local shop, your corner shop, getting a picture of them, giving them candy, and then giving them a cigarette or letting them try gin or wine or something, and then saying, I'm going to tell your parents that you had a cigarette unless you let me take a picture of you.
	And then I'm going to show your parents this picture, this polar art, unless you do this.
	And they keep blackmailing them up the ladder.
	It's a whole cultural thing until they're having sex with 12-year-old girls.
	Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them.
	That's a pattern.
	This thread of the EDL is really just typical of a Western society.
	There's always going to be a fraction of a percent of the population that are pedophiles who need to die.
	That's not what's going on with Britain and these Muslim grooming gangs.
	That is not a small fraction of the population.
	It's called a disproportionate number.
	And in this day and age, with the death of mass, all you have to do when someone shows you a pattern is come up with a couple of examples that contradict the pattern, and then the whole thing is gone.
	Well, that's not how patterns work.
	Anecdotal evidence does not shatter a pattern.
	It's called a disproportionate number.
	Hold on, go up, go up.
	1,500 victims.
	1,500 victims.
	One girl was sexually abused by at least 100 Muslim men.
	It says Asian because they don't like saying Muslim.
	Isn't that amazing?
	Yeah, that's a pretty amazing now.
	I've noticed it's starting to leak here.
	And I noticed, I watched, what's his name?
	Aziz.
	Aziz Ansari.
	Right.
	And he, he's, business-wise, he realizes it's good for him to call himself Asian because he gets a whole other swath.
	I'd like to be called Oriental.
	Hey, why don't you show, did we talk about him acting like Dave Chappelle?
	No, but that's cringe and great.
	Can you put that up?
	I could find it, yep.
	I texted it to you.
	Yes, you did.
	Yeah, Aziz Ansari has decided that he's Chinese.
	Charmie Dave Chappelle.
	Hey, baby, what are you doing on the corner?
	And I notice in his audience, he'll call himself Asian, and you look out into the crowd, and you will see some Koreans and Japanese in there.
	It's working.
	It's actually working.
	But I watched his special the other day, and it's okay.
	He stole a joke from Nicki Minaj.
	He said, we're selling organic shoes made out of cashews.
	We're calling them cashews, which is the Nikki Minaj line.
	My shoe game's nuts, so they call them cashews.
	See, I've got my ear to the ground with rap and R ⁇ B, so I can tell when someone's lifting something.
	But he has to confront the fact that he has a Me Too moment, as East does.
	Now, his Me Too moment is absurd.
	It's a woman who had sex with him like five times in one night and fallated him something like half a dozen times.
	And she says she was sexually assaulted.
	What was all that at gunpoint?
	You read the whole story, and it sounds like she had a long night of intercourse about five or six times, getting dressed, getting undressed, doing it again and again and again, all night.
	And then about a week later going, I didn't like that.
	I kind of felt pressured come to think of it.
	That's not rape, my dear.
	But of course, people don't read the whole story and they just hear he was a pig and they go, sounds reasonable.
	Screw him.
	So he obviously has to identify that.
	And the way he identified it was to sit down on a little bench and go, it was a crazy time and I learned a lot and we've all had crazy times.
	Okay, that's fair, whatever.
	But the weirdest thing is he subsumed the personality of Dave Chappelle.
	He just became Dave Chappelle on stage.
	I don't know if he's aware that he was doing an impersonation, but it's the weirdest thing to see a comedian just change his mannerisms all of a sudden and become a dude.
	Look at this.
	Tell me this isn't Dave Chappelle.
	He's decided the best solution is just to become Dave Chappelle.
	Look at his mannerisms.
	You know, I haven't said much about that whole thing, but I've talked about it on this trip.
	Ahead, Bob.
	Because you're here.
	The cadence?
	This is Dave Chappelle.
	I don't know about that whole situation.
	And it's a tricky thing for me to answer.
	Oh my God.
	He just became a different comedian.
	Now, I know it's not.
	I know.
	Randy.
	That is cringy.
	Isn't it weird?
	It's a great impression.
	Sorry, it's Dave Chappelle.
	He's a cover.
	Accidental Dave Chappelle impression.
	All right, let's talk to Homeless Me about a trans job fair, which is a ridiculous thing to exist, but a lot of these people got to get their numbers up because it's becoming the law now.
	So they have a fair where they say, hey, dudes with fake tits and wigs, want to come work at my place so I don't get in trouble?
	Let's go there now.
	This is a chick.
	This is a very hot chick.
	I don't know what ethnicity she is.
	She looks sort of Hispanic.
	But what would you say that is?
	Her eyes are a little wonky, but guys like that.
	One thing you have to know about guys is if there's like a gap in her teeth or big ears, sometimes that is an asset and it makes her points go up.
	So I would say she's a 6.9, but the eyes make her a 7.9.
	I'm just throwing that out there.
	this isn't a science.
	Anyway, she's at the trans, Hey, Southern California, Leah Jasmine here in South Los Angeles at what is being called the largest transgender job fair ever.
	Let's go inside and check it out.
	It's just important that we have some place where we know that the employers that are here genuinely want to hire trans people.
	So for somebody who may be new in their...
	We know what's really going on here, right?
	Hilton and all these big companies don't want to get in trouble.
	So if the shit ever hits the fan with HR, they go, we were at the largest transgender job fair in the world.
	And the other funny part is the transgender job fair is well aware of that.
	So it's a racket.
	And they go, yeah, Hilton, we'd love you to come to the transgender job fair.
	Unless, of course, you'd like to be known as a transphobic corporation.
	No, no, no, we'll be there.
	We'll be there.
	We'll send a table.
	And HR goes, yeah, we should send a table.
	This is where women come in handy in the workforce because they're the ones who send the table and manufacture the Hilton blanket that goes around the table.
	And they're actually happy to be there.
	Starbucks is happy to be there that day.
	They got the woman with the funny hat and everyone feels really good about themselves.
	It all means nothing.
	It all means nothing.
	If Starbucks needs someone and they get a tranny applying, they'll be like, yeah, okay, fine.
	The job fair, what did the job fair do?
	How many jobs came from this job fair?
	It's like South by Southwest.
	You know how many bands have been signed in Austin and South by Southwest?
	One.
	And they are called Timbuck?
	Three.
	But they're just one band.
	This is all a fake virtue signaling waste of money and water.
	Transition, you know, they're not quite like passing as a gender that they really feel internally.
	So that was clearly a woman at some point, judging by the voice.
	Can you imagine how freaked out her dad is?
	He hasn't seen her in a few years.
	And they go, before you reunite with Cassandra, you should probably know that she has a beard now.
	Same voice.
	She's still your sweet little angel, but she looks like a quarterback nerd now.
	I don't know if you're ready for that.
	I would, I mean, no matter how progressive and open-minded you are, you're going to shit a brick when that's your daughter.
	No?
	Hey, no, they don't have to worry.
	They're not going to have somebody who's looking at you like, um, are you a man or a woman?
	Or they don't have to worry about somebody who's going to say something inappropriate.
	You know, I came to LA a little over a year ago.
	Okay, just pause.
	Is that a woman or a transiate now?
	I've been around the gays a long time.
	That's a gay.
	Seen you.
	I've seen a million gays.
	And by the way, I mean, outside of the boobs, which are weird, I've hung out with this guy a billion times.
	Why are we all pretending that this is just some gorgeous hot chick who's not a dude?
	That's not someone's brother?
	Come on.
	Anyway, keep going because this part's interesting.
	Been looking for work and I kind of been waiting for an opportunity like this.
	And I saw this flyer about a couple weeks ago and I put on my calendar.
	So I got to make it to this and see what it's about.
	So yeah, we are having some conversations.
	Got to make it to this.
	That guy's lazy.
	If it's a huge ordeal and he has to go on your calendar and he's like, come on, I need to make it to this.
	I need to at least go to this one thing.
	That's a lazy person.
	He's probably in a relationship where some wealthy or gay guy is just like, yeah, go shopping, whatever.
	And he goes, no, I want to have my own job.
	I need my own life.
	I'm going to put this on my calendar.
	I'm going to go to it.
	And then this is Thea.
	This is not a gay man.
	This is a woman.
	I don't think they say they're a woman anymore.
	But this is not a gay man with long hair and a dress.
	This is something else.
	We're not going to say what.
	It's about identity that haven't been previously had in generations before us.
	And so when you go into a hiring type situation, there is a lot of implicit bias that people bring to it that because we don't necessarily conform, maybe visually, people think that we're maybe disruptive or that we maybe won't.
	How are those not gays?
	If those aren't gays, then what are gays?
	I wonder if there's, I haven't checked in with the gays in a while since I moved to the suburbs.
	I wonder if there's some gays going, hey, can someone call us gays for once?
	Like, is there a gay drought going on?
	Because they talk about how there's something like 15,000 trans people in the military, which must mean every lesbian is saying I'm trans and every gay is saying I'm trans.
	There must be just your classic gay and your classic lesbian going, hey, what about me?
	That's me.
	I'm a gay.
	I'm a gay.
	No, you're not.
	You're a new thing.
	Well, what's the matter with the old thing?
	What's the matter with gays?
	That should be my new trans motto.
	What's the matter with gays?
	Won't be able to like fit in.
	And I think a lot of it is that attitude.
	And trans people are actually historically economically disadvantaged.
	The unemployment rate is three times the national average.
	My biggest fear is that.
	Why is the unemployment rate three times the national average?
	Could it do with mental instability?
	Could it do with a predilection to drug addiction?
	Could it be due to a disproportionate number of them in the sex workers industry being prostitutes?
	Could it have anything to do with that?
	Or is it all prejudice?
	Is everything someone else's fault?
	Is there no such thing as culpability anymore?
	Maybe your demographic has some problems that aren't Starbucks' fault.
	Maybe your demographic has dug themselves a hole that Hilton had nothing to do with.
	But Hilton needs to get me out.
	Not taken seriously.
	I think it's just, it comes with the territory of wanting to not necessarily be seen as like an oddity or an ab, something abnormal or something different looking.
	And maybe that is.
	I don't want to be seen as abnormal or different looking.
	Do you have a dictionary handy?
	Look up the word different.
	Look up the word normal.
	Normal means, and it's not necessarily good, right?
	I'm pretty abnormal.
	Look, I'm a homeless man.
	But normal means something that is the norm, something you're used to seeing.
	You are literally abnormal.
	And as far as different looking, well, that's no stretch at all.
	Come on.
	What are they talking about, by the way?
	I bet it's tedious.
	That's the case, but we're still very capable people.
	Our organizing teams, both with St. John's as well as TransCan Work, work to put on this phenomenon.
	Okay, just pause.
	What's weirder?
	The guy with the deep voice and the boobs with the long hair going, I'm basically here to try to raise awareness.
	And, you know, sometimes I have to write stuff in my calendar.
	That's disturbing.
	Or the guy who just sort of looks like a wimpy 13-year-old boy, but going, hi, my name's Jason, and we're here to show people that we're here for direction and amulets and change and wearing lots of different sweaters at the same time.
	What's more disturbing?
	Or sorry, screw disturbing.
	What's more abnormal?
	Like, what's more jarring?
	And I'm not saying that it's good that you're jarred or it's normal that you're put off, but just kind of curious.
	Like, say we're sitting in a bar discussing this.
	I honestly don't know the answer.
	What do you find more sort of, meh?
	I don't know.
	Over 74 employers who are looking to be inclusive of folks in.
	Like, who would you be more distracted by at work?
	Say you worked at a job and someone comes over and they go, yeah, I'm almost done those NFRB reports, but this one, there's a typo on the actual form itself on the PDF.
	So I can't even read the last sentence.
	Check that out.
	That guy, that girl, that whatever, or this little man comes over and he's like, hey, we've been working on the reports and having some trouble with typos here.
	Maybe there's a reason you're not getting hired.
	No, that's not true.
	It has to be ignorance.
	Gender, non-binary, as well as gender non-conforming communities.
	In addition, we've just found out that we've actually had over 500 job seekers walk through our job fair today.
	Okay, just pause.
	That's awesome.
	How many jobs came to fruition?
	The fact that 500 people showed up doesn't mean anything.
	How pissed would they be, by the way, if some super hot woman showed up just applying for jobs?
	And she doesn't have to say that she's, you know, used to be a man or she doesn't have to prove that she's always been a woman, but like some insanely hot chick just comes up and starts going, hi, I'm the chick from Game of Thrones.
	I'd like a job at Hilton.
	I think that they would be mad.
	I wonder if they were sort of annoyed by her.
	We noticed she didn't really seem to go into the venue.
	Go ahead, Elite.com for more information.
	From South LA for NBCLA.
	Look at the fat one there just there for the free food.
	Isn't that what all this stuff has just become?
	A place to get free food.
	So I want to watch some videos because we only do one at the end, one viral video.
	And I wish we could do more because they pile up.
	So let's do the one we were going to show at the end, the French kissing thing.
	Because it's an instructional video on how to French kiss.
	But I think they both get horny after they do it.
	And then they're trying to talk normal.
	It's the very last link.
	And she's like, yeah.
	So when you're French kissing, and you can see him like pretending, yes, I'm totally in control now.
	I'm not, I don't have a boner.
	I'm not thinking about sex.
	So it's, you know, the fight face where after a fight, you think you're smiling.
	You think you're going like this after a fight?
	What a bitch, you just sucker punch me.
	But your nerves are so intense that you go, what a bitch, you just sucker punch me.
	I'm totally relaxed.
	I don't even care that I was in a fight.
	But go back, go back to the beginning.
	Not the beginning, but just before they kiss.
	No, not the beginning, beginning.
	Alright.
	I'll get the hint.
	Hello, Michael.
	Oh, oui?
	Tu es mon petit chouchou?
	I don't know anything.
	You are my little shoo-shoo.
	Kissing is weird, isn't it?
	I don't, you don't French when you're married.
	Huh?
	I haven't Frenched in like a year.
	At least.
	If you smoke a little weed, it cleanses the palate, and like kissing becomes like the coolest thing in the world.
	Kissing is for the youth.
	Dayut.
	Jut is wasted on the young.
	Then they start tonguing.
	Okay, look at this.
	Look at this.
	Wait, that's a hard cut there.
	I wonder if they had to pause.
	But go back to her just coming out of the kiss.
	Okay.
	His eyes are still glazed over.
	He's like, what are we doing?
	What are we doing?
	So anyway, back to the show.
	Turn it up.
	So if you guys are wondering exactly when to introduce the tongue into the whole kissing scenario, here's my advice.
	When lips meet lips, count to about four.
	So one, two, three, four.
	Then open your mouth and count to another four.
	Young people ruined sex for themselves.
	This is for losers.
	Yeah.
	What kind of loser watches a video on when to use your tongue when making out?
	Could you imagine there's somebody out there?
	One, two.
	Are you counting, Derek?
	What were those two I sent you?
	We'll save the wheelchair guy for the very end of the show.
	But what was the other one I sent you at the end?
	Oh yeah, yeah, that was it.
	The ICE.
	Speaking of ICE.
	So some woman, ICE is getting attacked now.
	I don't understand it.
	You don't want any immigration officers?
	No other country in the world has open borders.
	And if you don't have officers, you don't have borders.
	And if you don't have borders, you don't have a country.
	I don't understand what the hell these people want.
	I'm genuinely confused.
	So now ICE are just the Gestapo.
	In fact, they're called stormtroopers.
	I don't think they're using the Star Wars reference, although some memes have been subbing that in.
	But they honestly think that they should attack and liberate all these illegal immigrants.
	What about other countries?
	What about Mexico?
	Mexico has holding facilities.
	Should they be of Guatemalans and Nicaraguans and all their illegals?
	Should they be free to go?
	Like, play it through.
	I don't understand your utopia, how it works.
	But there's a kid in a cage.
	Yeah.
	Someone brought a kid along on an illegal activity.
	Go rob a bank.
	There'll be a kid in a cage.
	Go sell Coke freely in Times Square with your kids there.
	And when you get busted, they got to do something with the kid until someone picks him up.
	No one's there to pick him up.
	So what are we supposed to do?
	But anyway.
	So they go to this ICE facility.
	And I think it's a great example of the lunatics on the far left and their bizarre mental illness.
	Look how mad this chick gets.
	Pardon me?
	Wait, wait.
	You got to put the video.
	You got to put the sound up because it's really good.
	What are you doing?
	Why is this so complicated?
	I don't have a block.
	Back up, back up, back up.
	Get a flag in the troops of the reason you're able to out here.
	Stop.
	Who is that on the right?
	Wait, is that Anthony Kumia with the Mo with a Larry wig?
	Anthony Kumia and Mo from the Three Stooges had a baby and it's a woman.
	What is going on with his gigantic tits?
	He's got some knockers.
	Like, if you want to be a woman, don't be bald.
	Wear a wig or something.
	You're not even trying.
	What are you doing?
	It must be a bummer, too, when you're a leftist protester and you have something important to say about immigration.
	And then this clown shows up.
	And because of your tolerance agenda, you have to say, hello, brother.
	Sorry, sister.
	Welcome to the revolution.
	Enjoy this clown show.
	He's like a cooler at a blackjack table.
	Yeah, it's sort of like when there's a right-wing demonstration and some guy shows up as a keck frog with green armbands and a green cape and a Jin Keck shield and you're like, great, we're getting ridiculed.
	Or that autistic kid who everyone thinks is a proud boy.
	He's wearing a Patriot Prayer shirt.
	He's trying to rip a plastic sign that's unrippable.
	And everyone's laughing.
	Haha, proud boys.
	He is slow.
	I've looked into this kid.
	He has mental problems.
	He's special.
	That's why he thought he could rip plastic, but it's used against us, the entire right wing.
	So we each have our crosses to bear, but that's a hell of a cross.
	But the video was lagging a bit.
	You have to really focus on the first two seconds.
	No, now you're not getting the audio.
	Go back again, Ryan.
	This is dry four of you.
	Can I flag in the troops?
	So the reason you're able to out here is like a bandit.
	You're fucking fought for Savannah.
	Privileged ass!
	Bitch!
	Get the fuck out of here!
	Now!
	You're a co-brochelle.
	Fuck the troops.
	Youth.
	I'm here at the Aurora Ice Facility where protesters decided to take it.
	Again, you're zoomed in so much people can't read the text.
	I want yes, there was text.
	There was.
	And you had it cropped out.
	I want to sink a knife into your spine.
	Not to kill you, but to paralyze you for life.
	So you're just Stephen Hawking at the controls for the rest of your life.
	I would not like that.
	I would like that.
	I have drunk.
	Look at him.
	Look at that bozo.
	I don't have the right.
	No matter which side we're on.
	I'm going to get out of your face for what?
	I have a question for you now.
	Too drunk.
	You are more concerned with a fucking piece of cloth than people who are locked in cages.
	Children right in front of you.
	You know that flag in those troops?
	Back up, back up, back up, back up.
	That flag in the troops are the reason you're able to out here.
	I want that guy on our show regularly.
	Which of the two guys?
	I see two guys and three girls.
	The one with the giant tits and the bald head.
	I want him on our show every single day talking about the weather in Santa Barbara or wherever they are.
	I'll try to get in touch with her.
	Okay.
	Yeah, his biggest beef is when we say her, we pause.
	Look at them.
	He's got like a nice sundress on.
	That's oil.
	Oh, we get it from different angles.
	Go ahead and fuck the trip.
	F the troops, huh?
	So we should have no army?
	Is that the deal?
	We want no board.
	What the hell is she doing now?
	Professional stripped in.
	What is going on now?
	Yeah, fuck the troop, bitch.
	Go ahead and fucking distribute it, bitch.
	Now she's a stripper?
	Then I haven't seen that.
	Yeah, I hope that she goes viral.
	Fuck the troops, because all they do is fucking kill people.
	I think she's proud of this too, which is the saddest part.
	She's not like, what did I do?
	Imagine you're in Iraq and you come back and you have PTSB and some four-foot-tall bitch just goes, fuck you.
	Actually, we had that in Vietnam.
	They came back, they're getting spat on.
	Unbelievable.
	Jesus.
	Okay, the last video I want to show is this coolest jet ever.
	I meant to talk about this yesterday.
	I cannot believe these things exist.
	Iron Man is now real, and Parisians are zipping all around through the sky on a jet board.
	What is this thing?
	And how is this guy so good at it?
	Look how fast he's going.
	That'd be so dark.
	Oh my God.
	I would be so scared.
	It looks so easy to fall.
	And you're just impaled on that horse statue.
	You have like a horse head going through your neck.
	Look at that.
	Did you have a gun?
	Yes.
	What the fuck?
	It's a military thing.
	Oh, shit.
	World's funnest war.
	We're dead.
	I'm joining.
	Fuck the troops.
	I want to join the fucking air army.
	You just fly over a jihadi village as they're planning to kill everyone.
	Just light them up with a flame.
	Imagine that, combined with a flamethrower.
	What are these things?
	How long have these been around?
	They're satanic.
	Oh, wait.
	There's ones that you can have on your hands?
	Like actual Stark?
	to be having on your forehead when you're doing a commercial?
	Maybe put some foundation on that.
	This is the tightest we can go with this angle.
	Look at that.
	What the fuck?
	That's a different thing now.
	So the first thing we saw was a jet board.
	That's a jet pack.
	You know, I've done other things.
	Some guys got a toy plane.
	Congratulations.
	You think that's impressive?
	Check it out.
	Look, I've got my foam plane.
	Look what I got in my Cracker Jack box.
	You ever do the Aqua Jet thing?
	Like the jet pack?
	Yeah, I haven't tried it yet.
	I'm not impressed.
	Almost drowned.
	Oh, really?
	It's like it turned you down and blasted you downwards?
	Yeah, he just didn't give me any juice.
	He didn't, so I'm just there, like, gurgling.
	Oh, is it heavy?
	Do you sink?
	Yeah, you have a helmet.
	He's in your ear.
	You sink.
	You're naturally just kind of like a little bit, so you have to lift your head up.
	But then if he tilts the jets down, now the weight changes, so my face is just like in the fucking water.
	I'm like, help!
	And then he gives me like a little boost, and then the water comes up.
	Oh, I don't know what happened there.
	Yeah, show everyone your disgusting desktop.
	The app keeps quitting on me.
	That shows my face.
	But I almost died.
	So that's a fun.
	We really chinced out on that camera.
	I'm a cheap man.
	When you told me we could get a new camera for, what, 50 bucks?
	It's like almost 100.
	Oh.
	Well, it sucks.
	What do you mean?
	It always crashes.
	Well, it's the software, to be fair.
	Okay.
	I bet there's an update.
	All right, we're out of time.
	This has been a very silly episode, but I like to break up the heavy, the crunchy with the smooth, I suppose.
	That's Billy Bragg.
	Let's go to the mailbag, though.
	Oh.
	And let's count how long it takes Ryan to figure that out.
	One, one thousand, two, one thousand, three, one thousand, four, one thousand, five, one thousand, six, one thousand.
	Ryan shut up you don't have a dad Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag Let me touch it.
	I never noticed there's a hi-hat in there.
	Oh, yeah.
	Just for a millisecond.
	When I had to do my version, I realized that.
	I was like, let me break this track down.
	When I held you.
	I think I want to start taking drum lessons.
	Dude.
	I love that.
	What's that called?
	Is that the hi-hat?
	The hi-hat.
	Where you hit it and then you step on it?
	Yep.
	It's great.
	You can borrow my drum pad.
	It's the most fun.
	Boop doop doop doop doop doop doop doop doop.
	Boom.
	Tss.
	Boom.
	Tss.
	Boom.
	Tss.
	Not bad.
	Very good, actually.
	Listen, I have rhythm.
	Nice.
	Do you know a paradiddle?
	Yeah, we'll talk about it.
	Okay.
	From Drew Zobel.
	I've been associating with this hot girl at work for a few months now.
	I think she's really cool, but she is a huge feminist.
	We assume that means metaphorically.
	Her politics are left-wing, but she won't call me a Nazi for liking Trump.
	Her politics don't bug me, but anything...
	No, I read it to myself.
	But everything that happens to her is because she's a female, even though it could be anything else.
	most of the time she's cool, she's been doing, she's If I say anything is girly, she hits me with that societal norms BS.
	For example, she persuaded me to get a pedicure.
	Yeah, I remember.
	I read this to myself.
	Yeah, we didn't read this yet.
	This is great.
	What are you, Puerto Rican?
	When I lived in Williamsburg, when I was creating it from nothing and made it into the hipster mecha it is today, that was totally normal to be walking down the street in the Puerto Rican street, like South 5th, and there'd just be grown men just sitting there getting their toes did.
	Yep.
	And also, Dominicans and Puerto Ricans in New York, not other Hispanic groups, they get their hair cut every two days working on their fade.
	And in Washington Heights, there'll be a lineup.
	There'll be like two or three barbershops per block, and they all have a lineup.
	And they sit there for hours, maybe three hours waiting.
	I don't like waiting at the barbershop because the culture, at least for whites, has been ruined.
	They have kids and women there.
	You can't tell rude jokes.
	You can't relax.
	You can't talk about politics.
	So I just use an app where I know when my barber is available and I'm there a minute before the time.
	Wow.
	And boom, we're done.
	So first of all, Drew, you're a loser.
	No one can be talked into a pedicure.
	It's sort of like Islam, where they go, oh, it was hijacked by wasabi sauce, the green stuff in sushi.
	And you go, how would wasabiism take over a religion?
	Well, they're really radical, and they're sort of like desert people, and they got into Islam and they wrecked it and made it radical.
	And you go, well, we have weirdos.
	We have guys who thinks that they can fight poisonous snakes, these evangelicals in the South.
	They could try to infiltrate Christianity.
	And we go, no, I'm not touching a snake.
	That's poisonous.
	You're not magic.
	That would be the end.
	So why does a green gooey thing on sushi ruin your religion?
	Why are you so vulnerable?
	So how did she persuade you to get a pedicure?
	You could talk to me for 100 years and push pedicures on me.
	And I would never, ever, ever do it.
	I don't even clip my toenails.
	You know how I, when I'm watching TV, I'll get them with my thumbnail and just tear them off and sometimes go so low that they'll be bleeding.
	That's what men do.
	What are you looking up there?
	Oh, I just, I don't think it's Wasabiism.
	I think it's actually Wahhabism.
	Nope, I'm pretty sure it's Wasabiism.
	I guess Japanese people were in the Middle East at some point.
	Or maybe Japanese people get Wasabi from the Middle East.
	No, no.
	But the part of Islam that makes Wasabi is ruining Islam.
	I know what I'm talking about.
	Okay, I'm sorry.
	I wanted to tell her that I have a dad so that shit won't happen.
	What?
	I wanted to tell her that I have A dad, so that shit won't happen, but I made it into a date for a date deal, so I disappointed my father and me and mankind and went.
	It is as gay as you can imagine.
	She also had me reading the stupid feminist book called The Female Persuasion by Meg Wallitzer.
	The book is giving me AIDS, but I'm looking at it as a test commitment, if that makes sense.
	I'm thinking about how politics and relationships don't matter after a point, but is all this dumb shit worth it to be with this girl, or should I just stop?
	She's great, but damn, that feminist shit is annoying.
	P.S. We're both corrections officers.
	Yeah, it gets fun.
	What?
	So imagine being at work or home and listening to the this is not just a man's job speech and acting like she's right.
	Just ignore her, dude.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Ignore her.
	It's like we were talking about the other day where this girl was told she can't date this guy and she, the guy, no, the guy dumped her because his parents didn't approve.
	If my parents told me I couldn't date someone, I'd say, okay, whatever.
	Bye.
	Are you still dating that girl?
	No.
	Right.
	Then go bang her an hour later.
	We're done.
	Yeah.
	So if a girl is like, I need you to respect feminism and go, I do.
	I think it's awesome.
	Yeah, but don't read a book about it.
	Yeah, I need you to get a pedicure.
	Okay, well, oh, Jesus, look at the time.
	Maybe tomorrow, something soon, soon.
	You know what you could do?
	I need you to read this feminist book.
	Yeah, thanks.
	And you take it and go.
	I like to read away from you, though.
	Otherwise, you get distracted because you're so beautiful.
	Here, let me store this in my library.
	It's on the ground and it's shaped like a garbage.
	It's right on the top shelf.
	But you could, if you're for the pedicure thing, you could always be like, I don't want to appropriate woman culture.
	No, that's too much work.
	Just say, huh, yeah.
	Look, I learned all this in 1988 when I would see the coolest, toughest anarchist feminists at our anarchist workshops when we were punk rockers.
	We would try to get these girls, Penny and Zoe, I think their names were.
	They had dreads back before it was, anyone had dreads.
	This is 1988.
	And then some biker would show up, some Rachmachin biker, and she hop on the back of his motorbike and there he goes.
	Damn.
	She wasn't interested in any of the stuff she was talking.
	It was just, it's sort of like when women go, I love bourbon.
	And you go, really?
	And then they have two and they're just like, I don't fucking care.
	And they're going on a stop sign like they're strippers.
	I thought you liked bourbon.
	You had two.
	All right.
	James comes.
	Does he?
	Hey, James, how often?
	James Cumbs is his name.
	Pervert.
	Hi, I'm James.
	Oh, sorry.
	Oh, uh, uh.
	Stupid fucking loser name.
	James Cumbs.
	More like Jiz Cumbs, yeah.
	Seminal.
	God, what a loser.
	Anyway, Ellis Island took a colossal shit on my last name.
	My great-grandfather, Cosmo Camiso, came to America via Ellis Island in 1905.
	He was a farmer from Calabria, Italy, who couldn't read or write in Italian little in English.
	When he came to Ellis Island, poor Cosmo told the guy at the desk his name.
	The man looked at him and said, nah, your name is Cosmo Cums.
	It's a lot of fun.
	It totally cleared out my sinuses.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	It was like the Wahhabiism of snorts.
	I know for a fact the guy at the desk did not factor in the future sexual innuendos that would be associated with the word come in the split second he decided my name.
	By the way, this gentleman is talking about how I was talking on a previous show about how weird it is that at Ellis Island, just like at Animal House initiation, they would just go, no, you're not McInnis, you're Kins.
	No, you're not Sophia Rosanna Sanadana.
	You're Sophie Raz.
	Just because it was easier.
	And they just stamped it.
	And no one could read or write.
	So they're like, whatever.
	What's in a name anyway?
	I never see it.
	I don't write contracts or anything.
	I'm a laborer.
	When you think how important your name is today.
	Yeah.
	The sexual connotation only entered the modern lexicon in the 1920s.
	He couldn't possibly have considered the smirks and chuckles my family would endure for centuries when hearing the name read aloud.
	Well, now I feel terrible.
	I didn't know I was going to go there.
	Wow.
	Thankfully, I was not a complete.
	And then he has a derogatory epithet for people who are attracted to the same sex, particularly men, in middle school and could handle the bullying.
	I deserved for having a last name synonymous with ejaculating.
	I earned the nickname Cums himself around age 12.
	Ew, how did 12-year-olds know what that is?
	While I tell people my last name is pronounced Cummiss, nobody ever pronounces it correctly, and that's okay.
	Ellis Island took a colossal shit on my last name.
	Keska Fuck, affect my fries.
	P.S. have Brett Easton Ellis on the show.
	Yeah, duh, I'd love to.
	Love Jay Cumbs.
	It's funny again.
	Ha ha!
	Your name is Cumbs.
	You're different.
	That thing sounds like a thing that is a sexual thing.
	James Seaman?
	Something implies a sexual thing, which is two people making love, which appears unusual because it doesn't happen that often.
	You almost never see it outside of pornography.
	So when it gets introduced in the modern lexicon, especially in someone's name, it's giggly.
	Witty.
	Witty.
	Everyone who laughs at James Cumbs is a witty human being with a high standard of comedy.
	Come.
	Thank you, Jay Comez.
	Let's end the show with one of the best videos I've seen in a long time.
	I'm really happy with this one.
	It's the wheelchair guy.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	You're a separate link.
	And you had it up.
	I did.
	I did.
	I did close it on now, so it's one more thousand.
	Got it?
	Six, one, ten, one.
	Those are quick thousands.
	Wait a minute, stop.
	There's no volume.
	So go back to the beginning, please.
	Again.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that doesn't look hard at all.
	uh oh Women in physics.
	My hula hoop is stuck.
	So we're just gonna put it out.
	If everybody can help me out, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	No, no, it's okay.
	That's not how you put out a hula hoop fire.
	To the rescue, wheelchairman, Rascal Man.
	Okay.
	Thank you.
	Three.
	Two.
	One.
	What's his superhero name, Rascal?
	Yeah.
	Let me see.
	For now, it is.
	There's got to be something that has to do with fire.
	I know what's got to do with fire.

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