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June 15, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:01:08
#146 | Go To CENSORED.TV

Just as the rain really started to come down, I have completed my ark and loaded the last couple of giraffes. Please climb aboard and register with Censored.TV. We are the only place where you see the right and the left talking to each other in a fun, honest, and totally uncensored way.

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Go to free speech.tv.
That's my new platform.
That's my ark.
I'm Noah, and the rain is coming.
Vox Adpocalypse just banned a bunch more people.
Black Pigeon Speaks got banned, but I think there was so much outrage that he got reinstated.
What's that guy who does all the threads on Twitter?
That's not really Vox Adpocalypse, but what the hell is his name again?
Nick Monroe.
Nick Monroe was banned.
You know, the banning going on on YouTube right now, it all started or got a heavy push when Carlos Mazza, this effeminate gay man, said, YouTube, Steven Crowder's making fun of me.
And so Vox, Carlos' boss, started attacking his YouTube page, and they eventually got it demonetized.
And you know what's crazy?
The Vox people said, that's not good enough.
He's still there.
Like, I want him gone.
They're like a rich bitch, like right out of Willy Wonka.
They're petulant.
Like, what's her name?
It was a band.
Petula Clark.
What the hell is her name?
Veruka Salt.
Veruka Salt, yeah.
They're like Varuka Salt and they want it.
I want it now.
I want the whole world.
And I want Crowder banned.
They started, the banning got so crazy this week.
They were banning history teachers who had footage of Hitler.
Yeah, you're allowed to talk about World War II.
And by the way, that's a great example, too, because what happens when you do all this censorship is you hurt the people you're purporting to help.
If we don't ever hear about Hitler, you race him from the history books.
Next thing you know, we can have another Hitler.
Knowledge is power, folks, and they are powerful.
And they're winning.
But Twitter and YouTube and all these platforms are losing because they suck now.
And they just, they lie about all their enemies and the enemies can't defend themselves.
That's not sport.
If you duct tape the other team's legs, no one wants to go to that game.
But that's what free speech.tv is.
I've got people not debating in a negative way, just discussing things.
And I think it's interesting.
I got Roger Stone together with Mark Lamont Hill, and they were talking about the justice system.
Actually, I got knit with Mark about Muslims.
I think he might be a Nation of Islam guy.
He wouldn't tell me.
And Nation of Islam, it looks cool.
You see all those black guys with the little bow ties and stuff and Malcolm X and all that stuff.
But then you look into it, and there's also all kinds of weird stuff with them.
Like they think white men were created by an alien named Yacoub, and he made these in a lab, these white people, just to torment blacks.
So he's kind of a dick.
Oh, and he has a big dick.
I'm not joking.
If you look up Yacoub online, there's drawings of him.
He's got a big, weird elephant man head, giant feet, giant hands, and I think he's a huge dick.
I don't know if Mark is associated with them or not, but I kind of got derailed with me saying that if you're taking in immigrants, you got to choose.
Shouldn't you just choose the Christian ones or the Jewish ones before you choose another religion?
Especially one that doesn't have the best track record.
Like Sikhs, they blend in great.
Hindus, yep.
It just seems like the one religion has a disproportionate number of folks who seem to have a bit of trouble blending in.
1.1% of the population brought us 9-11, the West Side Highway, the Pulse shooting, Fort Hood, San Bernardino.
The Beltway Sniper.
No one ever talks about that.
They just say it was, oh, it was a crazy black guy.
And it was a Muslim.
Or those two cops who got killed by that black dude who said, I'm going to make pigs fly.
He was also a radical Muslim.
No one talks about that part.
What were those two cops' names, Ryan?
Rafael Ramos and Win Jian Liu.
Why did you spit?
Because my tooth hurts and I'm doing a saltwater gargle.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
I keep forgetting.
It's the year 1802.
Why don't you put some salt in an old wool sock and just chew on that for a little bit?
You can't do that while you have a leech attached to your leg.
Jesus Christ, who sucks on salt?
Because they have a sore tooth.
Are you my dead grandmother?
I wish.
Remember my buddy Mark in high school?
He said, I would, I fucking love David Bowie, man.
I would do anything just to be him.
And I go, dude, do you retain any of your memories?
No, I'm just, I become David Bowie.
Okay.
So I can make that happen right now.
It's called A Gun to Your Forehead.
There, you're David Bowie.
Anyway, on my site, I got this show.
I don't know if it's going to last.
Milo is very fickle, but I was doing a live show with him every couple weeks.
Every couple weeks, I sit two people down like I was talking about earlier.
That show itself is called Free Speech.
And that is, I had Dr. Cornell West sit down with Milo Yiannopoulos.
I don't think they disagreed on one thing.
At one point, Cornell West said, and Precious Trans.
He's a real like 1960s liberal, you know, like the free speech guys, freedom writer type.
Back when liberals were cool.
He's one of those guys.
Very erudite, very incredibly well-read.
Both of those guys, holy shit, they read a lot of books.
I felt like I was like something out of heeha.
They were talking about Kierkegaard and Kant and these German philosophers and the nihilists, the romantic movement, and the Russian authors, Dostoevsky and Tolstoy and how they impact culture over time.
And I'm just sitting there going, I read Catcher in the Rye.
We did it for school.
I made a mobile of Holden Caulfield.
And then, of course, there's lots of humor there.
I fought Copper Cab after years of him demanding me fight.
And he sent all these videos of him at the gym.
And he's a big dude.
When you see the little Gingers Have Souls videos he made, you think he's petite.
Like you, Ryan.
We came with a cool insult today, by the way, if you're talking to a dude.
You talk about a chick and you go, she's really, she's petite.
She's like your height.
Just a nice little way to stab a guy.
Yeah, because you need to do that.
Little subtle insult just to make a person feel like shit.
It's always nice.
Yeah, she's cute.
She's petite.
I mean, she's like your height.
You know, really dainty.
Really delicate.
You could probably wear her shoes.
She's got these little feet, little tiny shoes.
Also on the site, we did like a 30 for 30 where Ryan and Haji went down to Atlanta and watched Copper Cab work out.
And then we got different shows on there.
There's my daily show, Get Off My Lawn, which is just like it was at CR TV, but I can swear now.
And then we have all the CR TV stuff.
All those shows I used to do at CR TV, which was three shows.
It was After Hours, which was just me sitting down Joe Rogan style at a bar with someone.
Then there was CR-TV Tonight, which was like a red-eye type thing.
It was a total red-eye ripoff, actually.
I even tried to get a huge Tyrus type dude for it, but all these bodybuilders that I asked, word got out in the bodybuilding community in D.C. that this alt-right guy was trying to get them for a prop and is like, I'm not falling for it.
Why?
So you can ridicule me?
And I thought, well, no, I'm ridiculing Tyrus, but do you imagine how big my balls would have to be to go to a gym where there's bodybuilders and say, hey, come on, my show.
I'm going to fuck with you, you stupid idiot.
Like, I'm not that brave.
And then it also, I'd get off my lawn.
So that's all there in the CRTV archives.
Get off my lawn, the show.
Then I did a fun show just called Off the Record, where I talk about music, various bands going through my record collection.
And it's not just my record collection, it's the elite sections of my record collection.
Because I collected records my entire life, and I have a lot of garbage.
So I've isolated the top 100.
And yeah, so there's Me and Wilo is a show.
There's Free Speech is a show.
Off the Record is a show.
Get Off My Loan is a show.
It's Sierra TV Archives contains three shows.
And then there's FreeSpeech.tv Presents.
And that's just various specials, like the 25 Hottest Women in the World.
History of Punk, how's that coming along?
Oh, he's got to spit out his fucking 1802 medicine.
It's coming out good.
It's halfway through.
Halfway done.
You know that a toothache is like taxes.
Death and taxes.
It never gets better.
You have to go to the dentist, you boob.
This subsides the pain.
That's not proper grammar.
Yeah, it's just going to get worse.
You've got an infection in your tooth.
It probably has to be pulled.
You've probably got a dead tooth.
And it's going to get worse and worse and worse.
Dumbass.
That's my wisdom tooth.
No one wants to hear your gross splooshing and splashing.
So yeah, I'm pretty excited about this platform.
And boy, when I started it a few months ago.
Oh, yeah, I also didn't launch it until I had tons of stuff because I'd hate the idea of a bunch of people subscribing, spending $100 for the year.
And then they get on there and there's two shows.
There is way more shows than you could watch in a week.
We're already on episode 18 of the new one.
And all the old ones are there too.
In fact, the most recent one I am slurring for most of the show because I took painkillers for my cracked ribs.
So it's probably not the best one to start with.
Start with the first one if you just logged in.
But yeah, when I started it, things were getting pretty bad.
It was sort of piddling outside.
It was drik, as they say in Glasgow, Scotland, when it's just sort of not really raining, but it's wet out.
Drik.
They got a million words for rain over that shithole.
I had a Scottish guy show up at a bar and he was a tourist.
And I go, see, you're you for Glasgow, by the way.
My feet are Finnegorbos.
And he goes, I'm Finnegorbus.
From the Gorbals.
It's a really shitty part of Glasgow.
And I don't know if I already said this in the show or not.
Stop me if I already said this, but my rapport with my family and anytime I go back there is how much Glasgow sucks.
And I thought it was how everyone talks.
So I'm like, yeah, best thing about Glasgow, you never get homesick.
Oh, fucking shithole.
And I realized that he loves Glasgow.
And I'm shitting on this guy's hometown.
And I got his number and I was sending him all fun things to do.
Like go on the, what's that called?
The mile high thing in Manhattan where you walk along the skyline?
Yeah, the skyline or that cool new structure they have in the old fish market there in South Manhattan.
That big, it looks like a big beehive honeycomb thing, and it's free and you can go check it out.
Oh, yeah, my friend actually worked on that.
That's in the Midtown.
No, it's not.
Oh, well, they made another one.
They just finished the completion of this.
It's just stairs and levels where you can go like this.
Yeah, that's at the bottom of Manhattan near World Trade, near where the old fish market used to be.
Well, there's another one that they just finished, like, over the summer.
I mean, this thing.
You're always wrong.
I saw it.
You should write it on shitty ideas.
How to be wrong.
That's Ryan's new book.
Ninth Avenue.
Anyway, don't believe him, folks.
You can hear him googling away.
Usually when he does this, you'll hear him googling away, and then you'll hear, oh.
There, you found it.
Okay.
Now, this won't let me fucking look at it.
New York Times.
Anyway, so please.
So yeah, the banning started.
And now it's just getting crazy.
You're banning history teachers because they mentioned Hitler?
Great idea.
And it's just going to ruin those platforms.
They're going to become so boring.
They already are.
I'm on Telegram.
I think my Telegram is real.
What's it called now?
I'll dig that up for you presently by and by.
It is real Gavin McInnes.
That's what I am on Telegram.
Uh-oh.
The cops.
Oh no, that's the fire trucks.
What was dubious of fire trucks?
I've lived in New York for 20 years.
I've seen three fires.
I hear that goddamn siren every fucking day.
I think it's the fire department's way of saying, hey, we're here.
We're busy.
Using up your tax dollars.
It is on 10th Avenue and 30th Street.
So you're wrong.
Let me see.
Right there.
It's called Vessel.
The Vessel next to the Hudson Yards.
It's right off of West 33rd Street.
It's right near, I told you, Midtown, 9th and 10th Avenue, between 9th and 10th.
I don't like being wrong.
I know, but my friend, we literally spoke to you.
That's not my cup of tea.
I like dishing it out.
I don't like taking it.
I like being right.
I don't enjoy being wrong.
Well, welcome to my world.
It sucks.
It feels good to be here.
I hate it here.
Yeah, I know.
I hate it in Ryan Land, where you're wrong and stupid.
Gavin Land's pretty fun.
You can do anything you want with it.
You'd be like, told you, dummy.
Or you could be like, yeah.
Oh, my God.
God, speaking of dummy, so Ryan was getting on my nerves.
He came to my house.
Weirdest thing.
He hasn't been to my house in a long ass time.
And he goes, hey, man, I want to come over and just like shoot the shit, watch a show.
Okay, that's, I guess, when, after the kids go to bed, and then he goes, yeah, let's watch it on the big screen in the basement, you know, alone.
We can be quiet together.
I don't remember saying any of that.
Okay, all right.
And then he goes, hey, you got to check out this show.
It's called Black Mirror.
Yeah, yeah, I'm very familiar with Black Mirror shit for head.
Shit for head, I almost said.
And then he puts on this first episode that I hadn't seen.
And it's about two buddies who begin making love through a video game.
Don't spoil it.
I'm sure you've all seen it already.
No, you probably haven't.
And I go, Ryan, any particular reason out of the blue, you haven't been here in maybe six months.
You asked to come over and we watch a show about two buddies fucking?
That's actually a joke me and my buddy Sharky used to do.
We'd say, yeah, I was reading this stupid article.
Oh my God, it was so weird.
It was what these two best friends that, you know, they're not gay or anything.
And then they occasionally suck each other's dicks.
Like, what?
I was reading it going, that's so stupid, man.
It's so gay and lame.
Don't you think it's stupid?
That was our joke.
I don't know.
And then the other guy would be like, oh, my God, what a dumb article.
And they're still friends after?
And you pretend you're curious about it?
You did that, but for real.
You tried to seduce me last night.
I did not try to seduce you, you sedouche.
I wanted to watch the end of it because I started it.
And it was like, I wanted to see the look on your face.
and I actually hinted towards it, I was like, you might think the twist is a little gay, Yeah, don't come to my house and make me watch secretly gay porn players.
I wanted you to watch two black men enjoying the romances of romance.
You know, you want to come over and just fucking watch the game or there's, I don't know, some dumb movie, like, I don't know, Broke Back Mountain or something.
Just put it on.
We don't even have to watch it.
Just have it on the background.
I don't fucking care.
Some cowboy movie, I think.
Does it make you uncomfortable?
Heath Ledger is the guy who played the Jokers in it.
I think it's pretty good.
Jay Gillenhall.
I don't know.
It's like a cowboy movie, man.
You like cowboys, right?
Oh, I can't quit you.
Your dick is awesome.
Is it Bill Clinton?
I wonder what it feels like to get fucked up to butt.
Because it feels good to take a shit.
Well, at first.
Hint hint.
At first.
Yeah.
I started describing it.
But yeah, the weirdest thing happened.
So he's bugging me.
He's on his phone playing Angry Birds, which he's probably doing right now.
Yes.
And I go, give me that fucking thing.
And I go upstairs and I hide it.
And I was so drunk that all I remember is thinking to myself, Gev, that's a great hiding spot.
You have a gift, my friend.
You're very creative with your hiding spots.
That's all I remember when I woke up.
And Ryan goes, that's a $700 phone, dude.
He's like, what is it?
Like $300?
It's like, I was like, no, it is the latest.
He's the dumbass.
When I bought my new phone and they said, do you want to just get this replaced for $350 or the new one that's $700 that's like 1% different?
I go, $350 flushed down the toilet for 1% difference.
Why don't you suck my cock, bitch?
And then she started blowing me in the Apple store.
I was like, it's a figure of speech, lady.
And she's like, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm like, well, you can't stop now.
Now I'm in the zone.
God.
It's a real saleswoman.
Today at the gym, everyone was talking about crazy bitches and how they can go nuts.
And it's just so scary because you're like, what's going to happen now?
Is she going to start punching herself?
Or who knows?
And I was like, every time my wife gets hysterical and she starts smashing things, I just pull my dick out and it just, she becomes in a trance just staring at it, madly in love.
I don't know.
It seems funny.
It's kind of joke you got to really act out.
Is that a joke?
Of course it's a fucking joke.
I've done that and it worked.
So that's not good.
Maybe she was looking for her microscope.
That's not nice.
You're saying that my dick needs a microscope to see it.
Yep.
So we wake up and then and then we just did the sketch.
If you go to my YouTube channel, which is the Gavin2000, you'll find a very funny sketch wherein I see a hate has no home here sign and I say, actually, sometimes they're like that, but sometimes they're pretty honest.
And then I had a bunch of signs made.
I'm ruining the joke.
But they say things like, they look exactly like hate has no home here, but they say, I hate Trump.
I hate guns.
I hate rednecks.
I hate Fox News.
I hate debate.
I hate free speech, blah, blah, blah.
Stuff like that.
And so we were shooting that, but all the audio was on that phone.
And I realized we can't reshoot that whole sketch because I can't find the goddamn phone.
So we go back to my house and spend two hours Going through the whole house.
I offer a $200 reward to the kids, so they're tearing shit up too.
And Ryan goes, Remember, you were talking about state-dependent learning?
Now, state-dependent learning is a thing I read about a long-ass time ago, where when you learn something in a state, a state of mind, you have to have that same state of mind when you're tested on it.
So if you study for an exam and you're stoned on marijuana, you should write the exam stoned on marijuana because it's like a different you learned it.
So that same you had better write it down.
I go, I read that a long time ago.
I'm not sure how true it is.
And he goes, here, have some whiskey.
And I go, okay.
So I'm chugging whiskey with the kids and I don't really get a buzz.
I just had a little.
And I go, yeah, I don't know if that works.
I don't know if I even believe in state-dependent learning.
Then later that night, I'm genuinely, I've had quite a few drinks at this point.
It's probably 10 o'clock at night.
And I swear to God, the drunk me is like, hey, dude, it's over here.
And he leads me to a part of our living room.
My wife has all this American Indian crap and these little figurines.
And I get near the, they're like powwow, rain dancer, whatever's.
And I get near the Indian figurines and I'm like, I'm having feelings.
And then on the bottom, there's this tray with like a American Indian mosaic on it.
And the drunk me goes, lift up the tray.
It's in there.
And I lift it up and there it is.
So state-dependent learning really does work.
Yep.
Isn't that freaky?
And then you got your phone back.
Yep.
And when you were, when first you like sip the whiskey and then you didn't find it and you're like, ah, this fucking doesn't work.
But then you got bombed because you were bubba bombed when you lost it.
And then it worked.
So even within the state of drunk, there's levels.
Yeah, you have to be the exact same kind of drunk.
A few sippies isn't going to do it.
That was cool.
I told my son what a period is the other day.
How'd that go?
He's 10.
I remember when my daughter was six, she goes, how are babies made anyway?
Does mom just take a pill?
I never even, it was like it never occurred to her before.
And then I'm sitting in the car going, uh-oh.
And then I said, the mommy, no, the daddy and the mommy hug.
And then the daddy's body gives the mommy's body something she needs to make a baby.
And my six-year-old daughter just sort of goes, oh.
And then she was dead silent.
I think it was like, I don't want to, this seems like a kind of area where I don't want to know.
And then so my son, I said, okay, here's the deal.
Girls get periods.
Your sister gets her period.
A house, the body builds a house for a baby in a woman.
And if no babies move into that house, then the house comes out the bottom.
And they start rebuilding the house from scratch every 25 days or so.
They start building up an apartment.
Okay, any babies want it?
And it has to be fresh.
So the second they look around, the no babies move in, they go, okay, we're getting rid of this.
We're starting again.
And they do it once a month from the age of like 13 to 50.
And I'm just, I'm looking at him and he's staring at me like, are you kidding?
Is this real?
And I had to break the tension.
I said, and sometimes when it comes out, they'll put it in sangria or tomato soup or sometimes even in burritos.
So don't eat burritos if you don't like the sound of that.
But I realized, yeah, dude, you should be freaked out.
It is fucking weird.
It's crazy.
Wait till you find out what sex is.
The penis becomes engorged with blood until it's hard as wood.
What?
And that's just the beginning.
Next thing you know, your mom and dad are rubbing their genitalia.
My penis, the thing that pees, it goes in a vagina hole.
And then it doesn't just sit there.
You have to shake it around.
And then some weird vanilla ice cream shoots out.
And if it's not in there, it's going to go shooting all over the place.
Isn't that crazy?
It's like a viscous glue gun.
It's like a viscous glue gun.
Oh, yeah, that's what the ladies say.
That's Mark Norman.
Ryan Rivera is doing a Mark Norman imitation.
But yeah, it is.
And then I realized the reason it's so weird is because it's miraculous.
Like, weird is another word for amazing.
And God set up this system where there's a fresh apartment every month inside of your body.
That's the problem with all these atheists.
They totally trivialized everything.
I think abortion's cool.
Fuck it.
I use it as birth control.
Oh, yeah, that little thing that came out of here that has eyes and can move its fingers.
That's boring.
You leave it alone and it says, I love you eventually.
Yeah, like Ricky Gervais always talking about how God doesn't exist.
And you go, yeah, like that dragonfly.
How boring.
I don't believe in God.
I haven't kids, but I like my dog.
Well, he's a dog guy.
Yo, yes.
He's an animal guy.
He loves animals.
Bad news for you, Ricky.
Animals are fucking losers.
Their lives suck shit.
Yo, but I like a dog.
Yeah, we bred dogs to be that.
It took us thousands of years.
They used to be fucking wolves.
That chihuahua sitting on your lap, that used to be a wolf, a man-eating wolf.
But we bred it and bred it and bred it until it unconditionally loves you infinitely.
And it has to always be eating, and it'll eat itself to death if you let it.
Unlike wolves who, I think they eat every three weeks or so.
They never fucking eat wolves.
They were cleaning off the bones for the humans after when they found out they hunted something, then we would butcher it down.
They would just eat the bone shit.
They're like, all right.
Oh, thanks for making learning cool.
They had a Ryan Katsu Rivera, the cool learning guy.
So yeah, Jesus was like, fuck this.
And he went around to his apostles who were like his gang.
And then these guys, you know, they're like bikers.
They roll up on Bethlehem.
And they're like, hey, Archangel, what's up, motherfucker?
So they lock up Paul for some shit that he ain't done.
Okay.
Learning's cool with Riot.
So then these wolves were like, okay, dude, I'll clean your bones.
So yeah, those are freaks.
In fact, I think religious people, like me, Christians, we should be a little more annoyed About what we did to dogs.
Isn't that fucking with God's creation?
Isn't a chihuahua an abomination?
Yeah.
Like, that seems kind of blasphemous to me that we took a wolf and made it into that little weird piece of shit.
Like my fucking stupid dog.
And they live way too long.
I gotta wait another fucking eight years for this thing to croak.
The kids will all be in college then, and I'll be stuck with this stupid little dog that has no, nothing to it.
It just wants food and endless affection from me because someone let the word out that I'm the alpha of the house.
So I bought it for my daughter, but it doesn't really care about my daughter.
It cares about infinite scratches and kisses from me.
An animal is God made, he said, I'm going to build earth and I'm going to make these things that are humans that always get better.
And if you look at lifespan, you can see every year we're getting better.
We'll eventually find a cure for cancer.
We'll be living.
Everything just keeps improving.
It's possible that this is heaven that we're on and it's still being perfected.
Holy shit, it's just like the period.
He built an earth for us to move into.
And then if no one moves in, then we die.
I had a theory once that, you know how heaven is unfathomable to your little tiny brain?
Well, the same way earth is unfathomable to a sperm.
So maybe the sperms were us, the useless mortals, and then we died, which was becoming pregnant.
And then being born is actually going to heaven.
This is heaven.
And it just gets better and better and better.
I mean, look at your lifestyle today compared to even 100 years ago where the kids had to drink beer because you couldn't get clean water.
Everyone was a fucking drunk.
Your lifespan was nothing.
Although the lifespan thing does get a bit skewed with infant mortality.
I think there was plenty of 70-year-olds back in 1802, but all those dead babies really fucked with the numbers.
But while he made this super creation, he got, it's almost like jizz.
He got some jizz on some other stuff, and it made total pathetic pieces of garbage like black flies and plankton.
That's just like a piece of life.
And then some of them sort of are more fanciful, like a deer.
A deer's life is shit.
He has, he's not a, for some reason, he's not a, he's not carnivorous.
I don't know whose idea that was.
So he has to eat 10 billion leaves just to fill his stomach.
There's nothing to eat all winter.
So he's just starving to death.
He gets a cut that he can't tend to, obviously, and it gets gangrenous.
So they come out when spring comes, you'll see deer upstate with gangrenous sores all over them because they're fucking rotting.
That's not bambi.
You know their horns too?
The bucks, they fall off.
And then before, and then when they grow in, they have the velvet on their thing, and then it's like stringy, bloody velvet.
Yeah.
Like a horn period.
Yeah.
When I was tree planting in northern Canada, I saw two moose antlers interlocked with the skulls.
Because they fight this, they are fucking vicious.
Moose in mating season, they'll kill you.
And they obviously got in a fight.
They got their horns locked and they just starved to death.
Nice life.
Even birds, they're the luckiest out of all these losers, and their lives suck.
Fucking starlings coming in that kill all your kids, take over your nest.
Lots of birds will do that.
They'll shatter all the other birds' eggs so the females don't look as appealing to the male.
Infanticide.
Just murdering children.
Nice.
Nice life, losers.
Fish suck.
Fish are the biggest fucking losers.
They're not even really alive.
I own fish and I understand they're.
What are they doing?
They're just bugs.
They're like plants, really.
And I don't like eating them.
Hey, people who eat shrimp, you're eating insects.
What's the difference between a scorpion and a lobster?
Nothing.
It's a big, gross fucking insect.
No, actually, it's not if it's soaked in butter.
Dude, a tampon is delicious if it's soaked in butter.
Stop eating that disgusting shit.
They're the cockroaches of the sea.
Popcorn is styrofoam.
You put butter on it.
It's yummy.
Well, popcorn, when it's not microwave, is fucking good.
I'm very sanctimonious about my poor person's snacks.
Fries, I'm very serious about.
I'm pretty serious about popcorn because my mother was so cheap when I was a kid that she'd make like one bite.
Our meals when we were kids looked like we're at a really, really expensive restaurant.
You know those fancy boutique ones where they had the little sauce that's like a zippity zip.
A bean sprouts?
Yeah, one little tiny potato with like a thing coming out of it.
That was our house, but it was just because she's cheap.
So there'd be three little tiny, tiny mini potatoes, like cherry tomatoes.
The tiniest piece of meat ever, like an iPhone amount of meat, and then like some gross sprouts or something.
And you'd be, you'd eat it and you're fucking starving after.
Oh, we're fine.
We're not big eat us.
Yeah, because you've got a buzz going.
I'm eight.
I don't have a buzz.
You should see our fridge upstate.
I mean, sorry, my parents' house.
Nothing in it but condiments.
So then I have the kids there.
So I go to a nice place and I buy a bunch of groceries and I fill the fridge and they take that as a slight.
That's me insulting them.
I go, no, it's me making sure my children don't starve to death.
I'm not going to feed Johnny a fucking big glass of ketchup.
She microwaved.
One time she put my salad in the microwave.
I told you that story, right?
She sprinkled cheese on it and then she thought it might look nice if the cheese was melted.
So she put iceberg lettuce in the microwave, which gets up to the temperature of molten fucking lava.
It will rip your face off.
But yeah, so after dinner, I'd have to eat like four apples.
I'd make a bowl of ice cream that was basically half a box.
Like it was as big as a basketball.
I remember scraping, I'd open up the box so it was flat out and then scrape it with a spoon and it was sort of gooey and gummy, the exterior of the box.
And then I'd have to make two big things of popcorn.
This is just to fill my belly because I wasn't fed dinner.
And then my fucking dad, Because he has a PhD in physics, he would come over and he's hungry too.
That's the thing.
I think they had a buzz, like they'd be drinking wine and beer, so you feel kind of bloated.
And then that wears off, and around nine o'clock, you're starving.
So I'm watching TV, and this fucker comes over with his physics degree, and he'd take his big mitt.
I'm the only shrump in my family.
All my family members are pretty tall.
And he'd get his big fucking Scottish mitt into the popcorn.
And then he'd start like, almost like the way you'd massage a butt cheek.
He would just start working it and working it and working it and getting his hand sort of scooped down until when he pulled his hand back up, he'd have 80% of my bowl in his hand.
He was holding a giant sphere of popcorn with all the butter too.
All the good ones because he'd get me fresh.
So he'd get all the butter and all the good stuff and then he'd walk away and I'm stuck with this fucking collateral damage.
It just looks like a meteor hit the earth.
It's just a hole and it's all the shit popcorn at the bottom.
Fucking bastard.
And I'm still not over getting Oscar Goldman as a fucking Christmas present, you bitch.
Everyone had the $6 million man, but these fucking Scottish drunks wait until December 24th to buy presents.
Guess how many $6 million men are at the toy store on December 24th, bitch?
None.
So what do I get?
His boss.
Oscar Goldman was at the beginning.
This is pre-Star Wars, by the way.
Oscar Goldman was at the beginning of the show, and he'd be like, Mianic man, we need you to go to fucking Egypt and beat up Tootin Common and then come back here and shoot a bunch of guys.
Okay, bye, bye.
That's it.
So it's just a man.
I assume Goldman is Jewish.
It's an old Jewish guy with a corny suit on sitting at a desk.
And that's it.
That was my toy.
A man sitting at a desk.
What the fuck am I going to do with that?
So then my friends would come over and they'd have the $6 million man.
So I just sit there and say, okay, Kevin McKinty, here's your order.
You're going to go over here and do this.
And then they go have awesome adventures as I sat back at my little station doing paperwork.
And then she said, she goes, ah, she thinks it's funny.
And she goes, it's worth a lot of money.
No.
Look it up.
I did look it up.
It's worth $20.
No one wants it even now.
Because it's just a guy at a desk.
An old Jewish dude sitting at a desk.
You can be like, Hey guys, maybe this episode, the boss has to help because the million dollar man's kind of, That wouldn't happen.
I think I'd rather him jump over the entire couch, which is like 10 buildings.
But thanks for doing the paperwork.
Thanks for making sure we don't get audited, Gav.
My parents were so fucking cheap.
And we had money.
We were middle class.
My dad is a successful engineer.
He helped design the fastest tank in the world, did all these optic systems for submarines.
I think he ended communism because he could see through nuclear subs.
He could literally see through nuclear subs using sonar.
Jesus.
Designed optic systems for helicopters.
He designed sonar tracking for prisons.
And I don't have a fucking Star Wars figure to speak of.
All my friends, they had Luke, Han Solo.
They had the fucking Millennial Falcon.
Is that what it's called?
Millennium?
Millennium Falcon, yeah.
Yeah.
Millennial Falcon.
That's pretty good.
I would go to their house and they'd get their hand solo guy.
I'd take the cardboard that the hand solo came in and he was on the back of the packaging.
I'd cut that out.
Oh, no.
Literally their garbage.
That said.
I would use their garbage as my toys.
I remember I had this garage for my Hot Wheels cars?
Yes, I had some Hot Wheels cars.
But the garage was just like four pieces of 2x4.
It was made all out of 2x4s and a saw.
And I was sitting there with the hammer making a garage for my Hot Wheels cars that weighed maybe 40 pounds because the roof was 2x4s too.
It was about a foot and a half by a foot and a half.
Can you not get me a fucking Hot Wheels garage, please?
You should see the shit my kids have.
Every fucking day is Christmas at my house.
Remember that fucking package we opened the other day?
It's a checkers board.
Oh, okay, that's fine.
It's got to be the most expensive checkers board in the world.
It's stone.
It's marble.
The white checkers are white marble and the black checkers are black marble.
I bet it was $200.
Or I'll just come home and they'll be playing some like Velcro dart game that I know they're never going to play with again.
Our kitchen table is full of new shit every fucking day.
Beyblades, when I went over there, oh, Beyblades are gone now.
That's the thing.
It's disposable.
Beyblades was like a three-day thing.
Kids play with Beyblades for years.
All my G.I. Joe's were worn out.
And I know what you're saying.
Kevin, you said you didn't have any toys.
I had a few fucking G.I. Joe's, okay?
Like one.
Maybe one bad guy.
And I would play with those until they were just torsos.
I don't know what happened to their limbs.
Some chick probably came over and ripped them out because women don't respect action figures.
We have this game, Pop a Pig.
You feed a pig.
He's a plastic pig.
You feed him a bunch of hamburgers.
And then he pops.
And if he pops when you put in your hamburger, you win, I think.
I once had to rent a dumpster.
Twice, actually, I've had to rent a dumpster just to throw her shit in it.
Like her 9 million shoes, old broken bikes.
I've filled two fucking dumpsters of shit.
And what did I get as a boy?
An old Jew at a desk.
It's not right.
I want to go in a time machine and buy that poor little blonde faggot.
Me some toys.
God damn.
Kids aren't going to play with toys anymore, by the way.
Mark my words.
Write this down, folks.
Christmas is not going to involve any actual toys very soon.
In fact, I don't think the kids unwrapped all their presents this year.
They were off to the video games.
Yep.
Oh, that would never happen.
Yeah, if you buy something like a chemistry set that takes like a real setup, it's never getting opened.
It's going to Stay in the plastic.
They want Roblox.
They want tokens for their games.
They want new skins.
Everything is going to be digital soon.
All right.
Shall we check on some mail?
The mailbag, yes.
By the way, I had the weirdest thing with my mail bag this morning.
Wait, do we?
I'm walking down the street and my bag starts itching like, you know, when you get a haircut and you get some of those little hairs in the back of your neck?
Of course.
It feels like my dick had a haircut.
And I'm thinking, that's weird.
I don't trim my pubes.
And then it starts really hurting, like really, really itchy on one side.
And I reach down.
I think maybe there is like a little hair from my beard got down there or something.
So I'm on the street.
And I'm sorry, ladies, if you're seeing this and you think I'm beating off, but I have to see what the fuck is going on.
This feels like a pin.
And I go down there and my bag is like freaked out.
It's, you know, like when you swim in January.
Yeah, it's a little, tiny, little almond.
And so it's freaking out, too.
We're on the same page here.
And I don't feel anything.
Obviously, I'm not going to feel a little tiny hair.
And so I keep walking and then it occurs to me, I think, I think there might be a fucking bug on my bag.
I think my bag is getting attacked by a bug.
So then I reached down there.
Now I'm worried it's like a spider freaking out, biting my bag, turning my, that'd be funny if a radioactive spider bit my bag and I became spider bag.
I had no other superpowers, but my just my balls were super, you could kick me, you could shoot me in the balls and I would catch it with my little hairy bag.
It's like, oh, cool, you can sling web.
No.
I can't if I pull my pants down and I pull my dick out of the way.
My bag can shoot a web.
So then I'm chasing bank robbers and stuff with my pants down, holding my dick up, going, get back here.
Shoo, psu.
So then I reach down there and I start sort of flicking away and the pain goes away.
I think I may have had a spider in my underwear.
That sucks.
Yeah.
I had ants in my pants.
All right, let's start the shit.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes together.
Let me touch it.
Dear Gav, I'm a grown man standing on an escalator, and I hear the voice of another man behind me say, I'm just going to scooch by you here.
He was a bald, grown adult man wearing a giant nylon backpack.
Should a man ever scooch by another man?
Absolutely not, Harold.
Absolutely not.
You shouldn't know the word scooch.
That's like a man saying, hey, can I bore you for a second?
We're just over here trying to hang this painting.
Never say boro.
Never say scooch.
If you're going to drink wine, you may not drink it sitting at the bar.
My buddy Mike was drinking wine at the bar.
I'm going to tell him that he can't do that anymore.
You have to drink it out of a cup.
You can have all the wine you want at an Italian dinner.
Go bananas.
But holding onto a stem, no.
Scooch balle.
You know what I would say if I wanted to get past someone on the escalator?
What?
I'd go, move, motherfucker.
Yeah.
That's how men do.
That's even too polite.
One time, you know Sharky, the guy I told you about, where we would do that joke about reading a gay article.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The one I just found out about.
I could do a whole show on him.
One time we walked into a bar and it was freezing out.
We used to go to this bar in Williamsburg called Blue.
And he goes, he opens the door, swings open the doors, snow comes blowing in, and he goes, God damn it!
It is colder than a dead slave's eyes out there.
The whole bar was mortified.
Another thing, he goes, hey, guy, he has a high-pitched voice.
He's like, hey, guy, I figured something out.
You go to a kid's store, right?
Because the clothes are cheaper there.
And you just get the extra, extra, extra, extra large for like super fat kids.
And it's really cheap.
Check out this shirt.
This cost me eight bucks.
And he's wearing a t-shirt that is kind of tight on him, but it's for obese 10-year-olds.
And it's got all these stripes on it, like a little kid shirt.
And I go, dude, you haven't cracked any secret code.
You look like you're wearing a little kid's shirt.
That's not, that's like going to the kids' menu and saying, I got this really cheap burger.
It's this little tiny burger.
But anyway, he was on an escalator once at Kmart, and he, some black young girl, like maybe 20, was in front of him on the escalator.
And there's these skinny jeans, this display of skinny jeans.
And he says to his girlfriend, he goes, he points to his, he has a big fat beer belly, and he says, this, pointing to his beer belly, is not fitting into those.
And he points to the skinny jeans.
And the black girl in front of him, this is at the Kmart in Astor Place by St. Mark's in New York.
And the black girl in front of him bursts into tears.
And she turns around and she goes, I'm trying, okay?
I'm trying.
Oh, my God.
He thought he was pointing at her ass cheeks because they were right in his face and going, this fucking big fat ass is not fitting into those skinny jeans because this bitch is fat.
Oh, my God.
And then she ran away crying before he could explain himself.
Jeez.
That's terrible.
Okay.
An economic proposal for women.
Ooh, ladies, stay tuned.
Gavin and Ryan.
Oh, you're invited to this one, Rye Guy.
Hello.
Love what you guys are doing.
Keep up the good work.
I was reading your stuff.
And one thing that I was thinking about was your belief that only 5% of women would be happier in the workforce.
Here's the issue.
It's not that I have a problem with most married women staying at home.
It's that the only way most married can have the power to stay at home and look after community is if we have a culture that supports a good 15 to 20 percent of them returning to the workforce eventually.
Hear me out.
I'm not advocating all these women going to jobs that are demanding and lead to divorce and childless, nor am I advocating for women to put their kids in daycare or have a nanny and then work to pay for it.
I'm talking about a minimum of 15 to 20 percent of married women with kids getting into fun, Little flexible jobs that could be part-time.
Freelance, work from home, work for their husband's business, blah, blah, blah.
I think it would actually improve the economy by having the same labor force participation without the negative.
Boy, this is a boring letter, huh?
Well, he invited me, so I don't want to say anything.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, it sucks.
It's a doozy.
It would actually improve the economy.
Women entering the labor force for the most part, such as male wage depression, rising government workers, displacing men out of the labor force, abortion, single motherhood, divorce, blah, blah, blah.
This was the structure of the 50s, and we had roughly the same labor force participation as we do now.
And if this couples, in this scenario, file their taxes separately, oh, great, we're talking with taxes now?
Jesus, Mike.
They won't face the marriage penalty that many dual-income families.
No, I agree, though.
You know, a little job.
Yes.
The jobs they do are tedious.
And let's not forget the woman's input into the community.
Like, we need a stop sign here.
Or this teacher should be fired.
She's incompetent.
Or let's have a monthly picnic here with this and all the parents meet.
Or, oh, the Christmas trees that get picked up by the city, they should burn them all in a big bonfire on the beach.
You know what I mean?
Oh, there's a parade in town.
So women are supposed to be the stalwarts of the community.
So even women without kids should stay at home.
Now, no one's saying women can't work, okay?
What is this Sharia law?
That's your Muslim friends saying that.
I'm just saying that most women would be happier at home.
And they go, well, they can't afford it.
Really?
You're already a dude.
You already have kids.
Or say you don't have kids.
There's already a house there.
Why is it more expensive?
Like, I know couples that are married and they're waiting to have kids.
And I think, why?
It doesn't cost anything.
I don't get it.
But yeah, of course, women can work when they come out.
But there's also this belief that we need more people working, more people creating.
When we invented computers, our production increased something like 60%.
So you'd think that people would have to work 60% less or 40% less.
I ain't good at math.
But it didn't work like that.
They just kept working more and more and generating more crap.
I mean, do we really need someone doing a marketing campaign to make all the baseball players wear pink to raise awareness for breast cancer?
Is that really a job that needed to get done?
And it's not good for children to come home and no one's there.
So what about when the kids move out?
Yeah, sure.
My wife will probably work.
I don't know why.
Her job sucked.
She was in fashion PR.
Most of her job seemed to be working around the clock during fashion week and seating people based on their status at fashion shows.
That's even more boring than Mark's letter.
Oh, here's a good one.
Mark Rivas.
Have I already told you this?
No.
I just subscribed to the website, loving the content.
I just watched the inaugural free speech episode with Roger Stone and Mark Lamont Hill and enjoyed the open debate and discussion.
There were numerous mentions throughout the conversation about the current state of prisons in the United States.
Yeah, because I know Mark is really into black stuff, and that inevitably is going to involve prisoners' rights.
Unfortunately, a wildly disproportionate number of blacks are in prison.
And he had a shirt on that said support black stuff.
And Mark's doing a new show that's all about black Twitter.
And Roger's headed to jail.
So it was a topic that came up a lot.
I'd like to share some of my thoughts as my grandfather was a prison warden at a major penitentiary for 40-some years.
There was a time in America's history when prisoners would work full-time day jobs while behind bars.
And it's funny, I was watching this show, Jailbirds, I think it's called, about a woman's prison.
And two of the girls had jobs sweeping.
And I thought, if I am ever in prison, I'm just going to fucking work my tits off.
Like, I don't want to be in that cell.
And sure, reading is cool.
It'd be cool to catch up on books and stuff, but I'll fucking clean this whole place from top to bottom with a toothbrush.
You know what I mean?
I want to work.
I don't care what it pays.
However, civil rights activists, liberals, took exception to this and worked to pass legislation that reduced the amount of hours as well as the type of work inmates could do while in the slammer.
Now, I understand, this is me talking now.
I understand the impetus for that.
You see this someone making tons of money off slave labor.
And they make like a dollar an hour or something, or no, they make pennies an hour.
And you think, well, why does someone get slave labor?
Plus, they're all black.
So that makes it worse for the slave thing.
And you're also thinking, wait a minute, now there's like an incentive to get more people in prison because that's your labor force.
So you don't want to solve problems because then you lose your free labor.
So I understand it on paper, and I understand philosophically why it's bad.
But sorry, it just seems to work better than putting a man in a fucking cage for 23 hours a day.
It's the lesser of two evils.
I'm sorry someone profits from getting him out of that cage.
I'm sorry I can't pay him more.
We can't make this a cool place to go make money.
So it sucks.
You're right, liberals.
It sucks.
But you're wrong to try to fix it.
You made it worse.
Anyway, back to this great letter.
In my grandfather's case, the aesthetic landscape of his prison significantly declined with the new rules he was under.
The prison went from looking like a beautiful castle with flowers, trees, and a nice lawn to a total unkept dump.
Furthermore, and this is the real clincher, recidivism rates, recidivism is for you dumb people, Ryan, how often you come back after you leave prison.
And obviously your goal for recidivism is zero.
Furthermore, recidivism rates were at low levels when my grandpa was able to proactively rehabilitate inmates with work programs.
After these laws that were supposedly guaranteed to help prisoners were passed, recidivism rates went to shit.
But the point is, did these activists who were so Sure, their actions would help inmates really consider the ramifications of their goals.
It truthfully isn't that difficult to do a thought experiment on the issue and, as you say, play it out.
Yeah, we need more people playing it out.
Remember that rumor that there was going to be a rally, Proud Boys were doing it in Philly, to celebrate the synagogue shooting in Philly.
And they were going to do it in front of the Jewish Museum.
Now, the truth was it was a quarter mile away from the Jewish Museum.
It had nothing to do with the synagogue shooting, and it was a bunch of like boomer pro-Constitution nerds who wanted to celebrate.
You know, they dress up like Ben Franklin and they talk about the Liberty Bell and stuff.
It couldn't have been farther from what the rumor was.
But when you hear that rumor, you just say, all right, play it out.
So the mayor gave them a permit?
Why would he do that?
And also, play it out.
So these guys are such anti-Semitic Nazi psychos that after a shooting of old, innocent people, they want to celebrate it?
Like, your villain is preposterous.
Your villain is beyond cartoon.
Even, and then I use the analogy, even like Nazis, say it's 1943 in Germany and some Nazi shoots up a synagogue.
Even the top Nazi is going to go, I think maybe you overdid it a little bit.
I think we should lay low for a while, maybe not have a parade or something.
Because shooting a synagogue, even as a Nazi, I think maybe we had to dial it down a notch.
There really are.
The left is at a point now where their villains are just fucking like a shitty movie.
If your America, the America you talk about, and I just saw there was some rapper who came up with a video called Camp America, and it's all about how we put kids in cages.
And it's a stupid, shitty video, but it really is just the liberal mentality set to film.
And there are these kids with their mouths held open by dental tools, and they're thrown in cages and beaten.
And you just think, dude, you know your political beliefs are ridiculous when you make a video of them and the video looks like a shitty horror movie that no one would watch because it would be too absurd.
Anyway, that's a huge tangent.
I'm not done that letter yet.
Problem.
And here he is playing it out.
Problem.
Prisoners are being used as slave labor.
What do we do now?
Solution.
Enact rules that say prisoners must work less.
Problem.
Without the prisoners working, they now have more free time.
What do they do with their time instead?
Solution, sit in their cells.
Problem.
Sitting idly in their cells has led to more time for the crime lifestyle to fester within the prison walls.
What do we do now?
Solution, I guess we could have them work.
Problem, we outlawed the only thing that was working for our system.
What do we do now?
Solution, stop listening to people who haven't even considered the actual ramifications of the bullshit they spew.
That was a great letter.
Brilliant points, too.
Here's my real beef with prisoners, and we'll wrap it up after this.
Oh shit, I got to talk about bad DSI.
I hate the total disregard for a man.
It's usually men.
Once they go to prison, once they're found guilty, they're human garbage.
And we have no sympathy for them.
We just go, well, you did it.
Dinesh D'Souza, he must have done it.
So fuck him.
And that's what was really cool about Jeff Ross.
He had a roast.
He roasted cons.
So he went to a prison, brought them up on stage, and roasted them.
Now, I know what you're saying.
Gavin, you said you like prisoners and you think it's horrible they're treated like animals and Jeff Ross was just insulting them.
No, Jeff Ross was doing to him what he does to everyone.
That's called treating them like human beings.
They're human beings.
And yeah, some of them did horrible things.
A lot of them are in there for fucking bullshit.
A lot of them are waiting for their trial to start.
Rikers is all people just waiting.
You can be waiting for your shit to get solved for a year.
And a lot of them are there for domestics.
A lot of them are there where there's a restraining order.
She calls the cops on him for beating him, beating her.
He gets a restraining order.
No, no.
The state gives you a restraining order no matter what when that happens.
Happened to Anthony Coomi.
It happens all the time.
And they get over it.
And then she invites him back over.
He lives with her for a year.
He's got a sock drawer there.
They maybe have kids together.
They're doing all this shit.
Everything's buddy-buddy.
And then they get in a big fight a year later, and the cops come over.
Now, the way the law works is the cops don't want to hear that you've lived there for a year.
They have to go by the law.
And the law basically sees this as a guy who violated his restraining order and like broke into her window or something.
So the law, the police are there to protect her.
This guy's violated his restraining order.
And so now they have to really come down hard on him because she's not protected.
Even if she changes her mind, that doesn't matter.
That's not how it works.
So then the guy's off to prison and he's treated just like a stalker who won't stop terrorizing a woman.
I asked a CEO corrections officer that once.
I said, what percentage of the guys here are because of that scenario I just described?
And he said, I don't know about that exactly because it's hard to tell which ones were real and which ones are fake.
But he goes, I'd say a third of the prisoners here are domestics.
Now, I don't think that's a third of people coming home.
Where's my fucking dinner?
I'm sure it happens.
I've never, maybe I'm a naive little rich kid.
I've never known of a man who beat his wife or beat his girlfriend.
I know of at least five who were framed.
Dove Charney, Terry Richardson, Anthony Cumia, Joe Cumia, fucking the mattress kid, Kale Hartman.
That's six I just named who with very varying degrees of punishment had their lives flushed down the toilet.
Dove Charney lost his company.
It was worth fucking probably $100 million.
I don't even know what he's doing now.
He could make that money back gambling.
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So you have to sign up, use the code, and actually put money in for this to work.
So just play, win, and get paid.
And again, you have to use the promo code Gavin.
And betting makes everything better, doesn't it?
Even what I like to do, if I want to see a fight and I have to drag along my wife or something, actually, my wife is getting into fights quite a bit.
But if it's someone like a relative who's not excited, or I took Laura Loomer to an MMA fight once, like at a bar where it was pay-per-view, and she doesn't give a shit about fighting, but I said, five bucks on her, you've got five bucks on her.
And now her money is at play.
And she watched the whole thing.
Laura Loomer seems to be having kind of a comeback.
Laura, Milo, I think what's happened is they've banned so many people that they've diluted its meaning.
And now it just means you're interesting, where it used to mean you're evil.
Once they attack Crowder and Sargon and Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson and all these intellectual dark web normies who are just really classical liberals, then censorship just becomes what bitchy little Varouka salts do to get to see the Willy Wonka factory.
Yeah, betdsi.com forward slash Gavin, proud sponsor of the Get Off My Lawn podcast.
And please go to freespeech.tv.
We'll have, yesterday's episode was the last for the week.
We start a new show Monday.
Who do I want to get on that show?
We're going to have Ann Coulter paired up with someone soon.
Michelle Malkin paired up with the liberal.
A lot of exciting stuff on the horizon.
History of punk better be done sooner.
I'm going to beat you.
And that's that.
So get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
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