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July 26, 2018 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
43:05
Ep 161 | Who Is America?| Get Off My Lawn
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Time Text
Get your bloody computer off of the my desk there, Ryan.
Jesus Christ, pal.
Hello, I'm an old Scottish guy.
I'm Figlasco, and you should do silly things around me because I'm different.
Like, show us your bum.
And maybe have a Wii gun for kids.
Can you do that?
Can you point a gun at the camera and pretend that it's for kiddies?
It kills the illusion, right?
I didn't know that wasn't you.
Oh, you thought an old man came in the studio?
Yes.
I think all you can do is just sort of go like...
Like a...
Ugh!
Mmmmm.
Or just sitting there in silence?
It's so hot, though.
That's convincing.
That's one of the worst parts about Halloween and costumes is masks are so hot and plasticky.
And then I hate when people take them off, you know?
And they just have like the chewbacca head on their head and then they have a normal head.
So when you're planning your Halloween costume, this is the Halloween episode.
When you're planning your Halloween costume, please think about something you can wear all night.
That's my new pet peeve is people removing their costumes.
Like even the second, when my wife and I go out, she dresses up all fancy, and then the second she gets home, she's into the Lululemons and the socks or whatever.
No socks, just Lululemons in a t-shirt.
I'm like, can't you walk around the house in the dress and the heels?
Same with Fox News.
The second that comes, the camera stops, boom, on goes the flats.
High heels in the purse.
Anyway, you would hate Times Square.
Because the Elmos, the Cookie Monsters, they never have their heads on.
Yeah, those illegals, illegal Elmos.
They always talk about ice and cleaning up illegals.
I promise you, 100% of the MOS, the characters I talk to on the streets of New York, are illegal aliens.
None of them even speak English.
I'm talking the Hulk.
I'm talking Elmo, all of those people.
Every time you go there, the Spider-Man is an exception, and that's usually a black guy.
Spider-Man are black men.
I think because you've got to be in good shape to wear that costume, and the illegals tend to be a little chubby.
That's my only theory.
Yeah, that makes sense.
They're naturally ripped.
You can tell by the Spider-Man's nose that he's not a white guy.
So a long time ago, I said that Sasha Baron Cohen is right, and we should enjoy it when he makes fun of the right, because a lot of the right we don't like.
We don't like the swamp.
We don't like the entrenched GOP.
And I felt bad about that after because I've always said, screw morality.
Let's be hypocrites.
Let's be petty.
Let's attack.
So I wanted to try to be fair.
Actually, let me explain this.
I want to be unfair now because we're at war.
We're in a war.
But I don't want to be too unfair.
I don't want to go too far off the rails.
So if there's an excuse for these people acting like idiots, then I want to give them the benefit of the doubt.
And if there isn't, then, you know, let them go.
If someone actually said that three-year-olds should have guns, then I'm not going to sit here and defend that guy, look like a fool.
And I should enjoy him being lampooned.
So there's been so much talk on either side about Sasha Baron's new show, Sasha Baron Cohen's new show, Who Is America, that I wanted to just really examine it with you together.
Let's watch it together.
But before we do, let's look at some of the comments.
So Sarah Palin was on the show.
She's very angry about the way she was treated, and she sat down with ABC News to discuss.
Let's have a little bite of that cherry cake.
Well, it was proposed to me as a legitimate interview to speak about veterans issues in our military and current events to a new audience.
It was supposed to be this big-time, Showtime documentary, and it was passed on to me by a speakers bureau, which, you know, I would assume had done some betting.
But, you know, this quote-unquote comedian is obviously very good at lying, at duping people, because look at the long list now since I've come out and described my experience.
All these other guys, all these men coming out now saying, oh yeah, me too.
So what was the moment in the interview when you said, oh, wait a minute, this isn't right here.
And you got up and you walked out?
What led up to that moment?
Yeah, he started showing me these graphs and statistics that had like typos in them and just didn't quite look right.
And part of this propaganda, this data that he was showing me, had something to do with sex changes and transgenderism.
And then he brought up Chelsea Clinton and said that she was a recipient of a government-funded sex change.
And, you know, it just got worse and worse and worse as the minister.
You know what's going on here?
Sasha Baron Cohen has been living in Beverly Hills, and he's been talking to Jennifer Anniston and all his celebrity friends.
And he's become convinced that celebrities are imbeciles.
And you can do anything to them.
You can tell them that Chelsea Clinton got a government-funded sex change, and they'll believe you because they're so stupid.
And I think if you do interview like 100 of them, you're going to find two or three that will take the bait.
So, you haven't really said anything here.
And there's a general understanding that Sarah Palin is an imbecile, and it's not true.
Like when she said she can see Russia from her bedroom window, she was obviously saying that Russia is very close to Alaska.
And if we're talking about the subject of Russia, I feel like as an Alaskan, I would have more to say than, say, someone from Florida.
That's all she was saying.
That doesn't give you the right to make a fool of her for the rest of your life.
She's not a fool.
All right, go ahead.
On in this bizarre, really embarrassing, humiliating interview that, you know, it mocked middle-class Americans.
It mocked our values.
It mocked the disabled.
And it just got worse and worse.
And, you know, it was occurring to me, whatever this show is, whatever this interview really is, is all about humiliation and devaluing middle-class Americans whom I represent.
Humiliation.
So, yeah, I said enough was enough, and I took off my mic and walked out.
And since then, nobody returns my calls.
They had given us fake names as to producers and anybody involved in the show.
That's enough of that.
Now, I also heard that they were kind of abusive to her afterwards, and they sent her to the wrong airport.
This is what my sources tell me.
Because they hate her, right?
So they didn't, lampooning her isn't enough, and they sent her to the wrong airport, made her miss her flight, totally screwed over.
I believe they flew everyone into DC for this show.
And here's another thing, and I know this is going to come up when we watch the show.
When you're talking to a disabled veteran, you have a different set of rules.
If I go up to you, well, I'm famous.
If Ryan goes up to you and says, go get me a stick of gum, you'd say, no, what?
If a disabled vet comes up to me and says, go get me a stick of gun, well, first, stick a gun, stick of gum.
First of all, I'd assume he had some sort of brain damage because that's not how you socially interact.
And then I would be concerned that he had that brain damage from a battle, and I would feel like it was partly my fault because he was fighting on behalf of my freedom.
I'd go get the guy some gum.
No one else.
I love cops.
If a cop asked me to go get him gum and he said it like, go get me some gum, I'd say, what?
No.
Get your own gum.
If you didn't have a good reason.
But if a military vet asked me to do something, I would act.
So if he at, like, I heard that Dick Cheney signed a waterboarding kit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, thanks, Ryan.
That's part of the...
And he's like, signing the bag, you know?
Yeah.
Go to camera too when you're talking, even though it's the back of your head.
Dude, like, I got my hair grown out, you know?
It's brutal.
That's Ryan doing his imitation of Bill Burr.
Totally throwing the show off the wheels.
So if a wounded vet said to me, can you sign a waterboarding kit?
I don't even know if it's a real waterboarding kit.
I don't know what it is, but I do things that are unusual.
That's the way it works.
When someone had their leg blown off defending your country, you tend to have a different set of rules.
It's not an example that you like waterboarding or think torture is cool.
Anyway, so the Sarah Palin thing, he tried to dupe her, and he failed.
That brings me, by the way, go to the gun owner clip.
It's two down.
Don't look at paper, dude.
You're not a paper person.
I'm a paper person.
You're digital.
I'm you're binary and I'm like spectral.
No, what do you call this kind of watch?
Analog.
Analog.
So these are two guys who figured, who caught him in the act.
And by the way, I've seen this episode, so I'm sort of cheating, but not this episode, but I've seen his show.
And he has these mannerisms that are very distinct.
And as I'm watching these people, I can't help but think, how'd you not know that was at least a stranger, but not Sasha Baron Cohen?
Like, you haven't seen Borat?
You haven't seen Ali G?
You haven't seen Bruno?
You haven't seen his other movies, The Dictator?
He's done tons of stuff, and he acts uniquely in each one.
He leans back, and he has this sort of a mannerism when he's talking.
I'm surprised more people didn't suss it up.
Maybe they did, for all we know.
For all we know, we're seeing 1% or less of the interviews.
Okay, go ahead and keep the audio on.
See ya.
I'm out of here.
You s ⁇ got me caught.
Get the f ⁇ out of here, Borat.
So that was them.
the guy actually said, you're Borat.
Okay.
This is their private security camera footage.
Okay, this is another great example of what I was talking about.
His Beverly Hills brain is so bubbled, he's so far off the reservation, he's so into Trump derangement syndrome that he thinks a Hungarian immigrant can just walk into a gun store, buy a gun, and walk out.
You need to, even the most lax states where WeThepeopleHolsters.com thrives the most, you cannot walk into a gun as a stranger, as a non-citizen.
You need at least a driver's license.
I shouldn't say citizen, but you need a driver's license in that state to show.
You can't just be Hungarian, get off the plane, walk over to the store, buy a gun, and walk out.
That's what liberals think is true.
They also think an AR-15 is a machine gun.
So they think a Hungarian can just walk in, buy a machine gun, and leave.
So he thought that this would happen there.
And not only is that impossible, but they sussed out his disguise and chased him out.
Go ahead.
The moment his words came out of his mouth, I was like, this guy's full of s ⁇ .
He comes in.
This guy seems like a fun guy.
You can see the video.
I'm looking.
I'm like, this guy does not look like a Hungarian immigrant.
Tight leather pants, a beard.
It just didn't fit.
I want to buy a gun.
Like that, talking like that.
And I just kept looking at the guy and I was like, you're Borat.
Soon as I said that, his eyes just looked at me like, and he did a B-turn right out the door.
We're talking to the people.
They don't want to give us an answer.
We basically told him, get the f ⁇ out.
You know?
You guys are all full of s ⁇ .
Have a great day.
Get out.
Once I knew it was Borat, we already know his game and his.
So we knew that he's here to make a mockery.
And make a mockery of what?
Gun owners?
The gun business?
Gun shops?
We have to get the guy on the show.
Not to talk about the Borat thing.
We'll have already covered that subject here, but he just looks like a great guy.
And he also gets the contempt that the coastal cities feel for Middle America, the flyover states.
This is a new thing.
Richard Pryor didn't hate Ohio.
Bill Murray has never had contempt for Illinois.
But it's only very recently we have these totally sheltered comedians in Los Angeles and New York City that honestly, and I've heard this said, that would honestly like the center of the country to be washed out to the Gulf of Mexico.
Just a big rain.
Just washed away.
We'll get our farm.
We'll get our food from somewhere else.
Like real disdain.
And it's strange because someone like Michael Ian Black or Patton Oswald, they travel.
But I guess you're going to comedy clubs and you're just seeing that 1% that adores you.
But surely you get breakfast in these towns.
Surely you meet these waitresses at these diners.
I don't understand.
Every time I travel around America, I meet better.
Well, this is because I even live in New York City.
So of course I end up meeting better people than people in New York City.
Maybe the reason I love America so much is because New Yorkers are such complete dicks.
Like I went to South Carolina.
I shot a pilot.
You can find it on Vimeo called America on $0 a Day.
Didn't get picked up, of course.
It was for Travel Network.
Where we just, I would hitchhike to a town, get a job, like washing dishes, and then just hang out in that town.
Super easy.
Easy to make money.
I just wash dishes or whatever.
Those people were the best people I've ever met.
Abbeville, South Carolina, that was.
Awesome dudes.
And the way racism was treated there, too, was just like I've never seen more diversity, more blacks and whites getting along and not talking about it.
The way in New York and LA, they're so segregated and simultaneously so self-righteous about their anti-racism.
But in the South, they're just, they don't talk about it.
It's like they say in the North, they like blacks in theory, but not in practice.
And in the South, they like them in practice, but not in theory.
All right, so the gun owner caught him.
Sarah Palin caught him.
I keep meaning to get Joe Walsh on the show, but let's see our buddy Joe Walsh on CNN describing what it was like.
What was that sound?
Joe Walsh, the former Illinois congressman turned radio host.
So Congressman, what was the setup in your case?
Hey, Michael, good to be with you.
And look, let me say at the outset, I think Sasha Baron Cohen's a funny guy.
I thought Borat was hilarious.
But look, in my case, like in a lot of the cases, he's a funny guy because he gets people to say stupid things.
He gets people to say stupid things because he lies to them.
In my case, he flew me out to Washington, D.C. They knew I was a big supporter of Israel's, and they presented me with this award as one of Israel's greatest friends.
Found out later the whole thing was a ruse, and it was a ruse, probably just to get me to say some stupid things.
So they give you the award, and then what?
There was some aspect of this where it dealt with Israel using kids to protect itself against terror?
Yeah, Michael, it was just crazy.
Look, they flew me out of the middle of the middle.
Can you just pause it here for a second?
This goes back to what I was saying about the war vet.
There's a town I visited in Israel called Sturat, S-D-E-R-O-T.
Could be getting that wrong.
And the anti-Semite Nazi dudes, they say, oh, if Israel is under so much terror, if it's so dangerous there, then why are there no casualties?
Sturat claims they get bombarded with thousands of rockets and bombs, yet not one injury.
And I thought, okay, that's an interesting point.
Let me go check it out.
I go to Sturat.
It is a bunker.
The entire city is a bunker.
Have I got a weird shadow on me?
Oh, it's this.
The entire city is a bunker.
The mailboxes are encased in about a foot of cement.
That's how you put your letter.
Everything is like that.
cement everywhere.
I went to a kindergarten in Starat and just I went to a kindergarten in Sturrat, and it looked like a military base.
Big, huge cement columns, things sort of arcing out, razor wire, thin, all these cement things we could only look in.
It was honestly exactly like Rikers.
These kids are going to kindergarten in Rikers, and that's the entire city.
And they all have these cell phones and these apps where the second there's an attack crosses the border, boom, they run to a shelter.
And all the bus stops are also bomb shelters.
The bus stops are about two feet thick of cement.
So you hear, you run to a bus stop.
That's why there's been no casualties because they are prepared and they have incredible technology and they live in a war zone in a state, in a state of siege.
They live in World War II.
So, if an Israeli comes to you and says something, it's exactly the same as the war vet because they are at war.
So, if an Israeli says, hello, we're trying to get...
This is a very mild example.
Say someone comes to you and they say, hey, there's been a lot of school shootings.
We want to have all the kids in our class starting a fund so they can all wear bulletproof helmets and bulletproof vests.
Now, if someone said that to you about your kids' local school, you'd say, what?
God, Jesus.
I hope you didn't say this to the kids.
You're scaring the crap out of my kids?
That's ridiculous, okay?
However, if someone is from Sturat and they say, we're starting a fund for Bulletproof Vest, I go, oh, God, it's come to that now?
Yeah, yeah, here.
Holy crap.
So they're shooting in the schools now.
Gaza's shooting.
They're right touching Gaza, by the way.
Gaza's coming in and shooting kids?
Jesus.
Yeah, yeah, here, yeah.
They should have Bulletproof Vest.
Different scenarios.
Did you know this, Ryan Ketsu Rivera?
Uh-huh.
One of the reasons they dropped the atomic bomb is because they noticed that the Japanese were training kids.
Yeah, they were prepared to do anything that it took to women and children, right?
Yeah, one of the most horrific images, this is in the book Unbroken by Louis Zampaneri.
He's talking about as a POW.
He said, one of the most horrific images you can see in a state of war is a kid training with a gun.
Because what that means is, even when you kill all our men, wipe them all out, and all their wives, we still are going to fight using our kids.
That's when America went, all right, you know what?
Brrrr.
Brrrr.
And saved millions of lives, believe it or not.
The atomic bomb saved lives.
That's counterintuitive thinking the left is incapable of understanding.
So, my point of bringing that up is to say, in a state of war, kids sometimes train.
I'm sure in Dresden, in World War II, there was plenty of six-year-olds and seven-year-olds who knew how to use guns.
Different world.
But anyway, keep going with Joe Walsh.
See, they put me up in a hotel.
They put me in a limo.
They sent me off to this studio in Virginia, again, all under the lie that I was getting an award from some Israeli TV station because I'm a great supporter of Israel.
So after they conducted an interview, they had me read off of a teleprompter talking about some of the innovative products that Israel's invented.
And then they had me read about this four-year-old child in Israel who, when a terrorist entered his classroom, somehow he grabbed the terrorist gun and held the terrorist at bay.
And that was, I guess, an example of how Israel trains and arms preschool kids on how to use firearms.
And boy, shouldn't we do that in America.
And so I'm reading this, Michael, off of a teleprompter, and I'm thinking to myself, well, this is kind of crazy, but it is Israel, and Israel's strong on defense.
We found out the whole thing was made up.
There is no TV station.
There was no award.
And it's pretty clear that Sasha Baron Cohen wanted me to say something pretty crazy about guns, like in America, we ought to arm preschool kids.
Okay, so we get what's going on here.
The assumption is that the NRA controls politicians.
And the NRA is this incredibly powerful lobby that says, all right, I want you to have more school shootings.
They're good for business.
Kids buy AR-15s.
So keep never, ever stop selling AR-15s.
Because the left is convinced that these guns go, they're machine guns and they're easily got.
And that's, therefore, Michael Liam Black talks about this all the time.
Therefore, you have school shootings.
The NRA, according to them, facilitates school shootings because it leaves the country awash with AR-15s.
And if the politicians would just stand up to the NRA and say, no more AR-15s, then we wouldn't have school shootings and tons of lives would be saved.
Now, the argument against that is school shootings happen no matter what weapons there are.
One of the worst school attacks was done with explosives.
The guns are not the problem.
There's all kinds of other things going on there with over-medicated kids.
And you can't ban AR-15s.
We already tried that with Clinton.
I believe it was nine years we banned AR-15s.
He didn't do anything to mass shootings.
So the idea that you can blame the gun is silly.
And also, if you want to talk about union influence, the NRA, I think the most they spend is like $5 million.
That was one of their craziest years.
I've talked about this on other shows, and I forget the exact data, but I believe the teachers' unions, a normal year for them is four times that, 20 million.
So no one is better funded than the teachers' unions, and they have the strongest lobby on both sides in the White House.
And what do we get from that, teachers' unions?
We have a country that is convinced teachers make no money and are overworked.
They're doing the most important job.
We need to pay them more.
We pay, teachers end up making per hour worked, which is a big caveat, about $60 an hour in places like New Jersey.
Now, of course, they end up with $40,000 a year because they take four months off and are done at $320,000, but they're getting paid plenty.
And by the way, we've been increasing spending like this, and test scores have stayed the same since about the 60s.
So money isn't helping, throwing money at the problem.
But the teachers' unions are so powerful, they have everyone convinced that teachers need more money.
We need to spend more money in academia.
Meanwhile, the truth of the situation is the free market is the only thing that can save education, and that's charter schools.
Sorry to go off on a tangent, but my point is that it is a myth that the NRA are these puppeteers on Capitol Hill.
If you want to find a puppeteer, check out the teachers' unions.
And the proof of their effectiveness is how brainwashed everyone is into thinking public education is sailing along smoothly.
It's a complete cock-up, especially in New York.
All right, so let's check out this.
I'm told this case is undefendable.
And this is Jason Spencer, a GOP rep. Now, he's a guy in Georgia.
He's really anti-having Confederate statues taken down.
He's very Islamophobic.
And I mean that in the nicest sense of the word.
He wants the Burqa band and other reasonable things like that.
But he's hated by the left.
So let's see what this Israeli tricked him into doing.
43-year-old Jason Spencer was elected to the point.
Not that one.
That's just describing who he is.
I just described who he is.
You want to see the one that was in the link with Megan McCain?
Buttocks, it's called.
Start comedian Sasha Brown Cohen's new series, Who is America, is making people take a look at who they voted for.
Cohen poses as an Israeli anti-terrorism expert, making claims like terrorists are afraid that touching a man's butt will make them gay.
Now, if you think that no one Would fall for this?
Check out Georgia State rep Jason Spencer.
Take a look.
She can't read.
Now I am going to teach you how to use your buttocks to intimidate ISIS.
Show me the buttocks.
No, trousers down.
All right, this is embarrassing.
Okay, go.
America!
If you want to win, you show some significance.
This is indefensible.
Okay, show it to me.
Now, try to touch me.
I'll touch you.
I'll touch you with my buttocks.
I'll touch you.
You know, drop the gun or out.
That is as ridiculous as it can be.
I've been part of the NSC.
I have no defense for that.
That is a good attack against our side.
But I will say, I think the left assumes that we're all one because they're all one.
So if we catch like a black guy murdering a gay dude or something in Idaho, they see it as a loss for all of their silly causes.
We don't work like that.
The reason, and I talked about this with Aston Witty the other day, the reason that we elected Trump is that we hate a lot of Republicans.
We hate a lot of the deep state.
So if you catch an idiot, an established GOP or a politician acting like a fool, good.
Do you think that more like a just kind of like straight and narrow type politicians are going to try like a Trump-esque route, try to adopt like silliness and doing weird stuff like that?
Yeah, I think we're seeing that in ads.
Like we had that ad, we talked about that another show.
We had that ad with the guy with the truck and he's like, this is my truck.
It's big and I'll use it to deport illegals.
Yep, I just said that.
I think that's a post-Trump and that's a fun, by the way, a commercial.
So let's just recap here before we actually check in on the show.
Sarah Palin was not fooled and you were a total dick to dress up as a war vet.
Joe Walsh, sorry, man, doesn't count.
You lied to him and said that in a horrible place like Israel, I love Israel, but it is a horrible place.
It's under siege.
There's bombs there.
There are people walking around.
You'll see some cute couple on their prom night.
They're both carrying AR-15s on their back because a terrorist might come and kill them.
The bar I went to, there had been a terrorist attack a year before where a car had driven into the bar and killed people.
So it's a beautiful culture and everything, and it's fun to party in Tel Aviv and all that.
But as far as your average day goes, it's very stressful.
You're in a war.
So to tell a guy like Joe Walsh that a four-year-old saved someone's life and then get him to read that Ford should have guns, it's disingenuous to say that that is the American mentality and this is the NRA making people say toddlers should have guns.
That's cheating.
So we're not counting that.
And then with Jason Spencer, yes, you found a fool from Georgia who did a bunch of dumb things with his butt when he was talking to someone from a country thousands of miles away with a totally different culture that is very hard to relate to because they are surrounded with Arabs who are trying to kill them on a daily basis.
All right, let's check out some of this show.
How are we doing for time?
How long have we been talking for?
30 minutes.
We've been talking for 30 minutes?
I'm a chatterbox.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.
The only thing we have to say is this self.
I don't know what I said.
Oh, yeah.
Today's America is Charlottesville.
Well, you know what?
Can you just pause it here?
So far, we only have butt guy.
I think a lot of liberals are going to get roasted.
To be totally candid, I talked to Kurt Metzger.
Kurt Metzger was the guy who was working for Amy Schumer.
And when she caught joke stealing, he stood up for her.
And she totally threw him under the bus and stabbed him in the back.
He's a really great guy.
He does race wars with Sherrod Small.
Incredibly funny dude.
One of my favorite jokes is, he goes, you hear about this Boston bombing?
The Sarnev brothers?
Sarnev?
He goes, am I the only guy who thought dinosaurs are attacking us?
The Sarnev brothers.
Totally offensive joke, but very funny.
Anyway, I was happy to see him on the credits when I was talking to him and I said, you know, a lot of this is fair.
You got me.
I didn't say a lot.
I said some of them.
And he said, yeah, liberals get it really hard too.
So that's fair.
I mean, good comedy chooses good targets.
And if it was all right-wingers being lampooned, then I would obviously be pissed off.
But so far, we've seen some failed attacks at the right.
And I predict some much more brutal attacks on the left.
Surely they're easier to lampoon, especially like Bernie Sanders.
Okay, go ahead.
We are going to drain the swamp in Washington, D.C. I want to confront the mainstream media, and I want to take them down one by one.
What accent is that?
He sounds like himself, whatever he does.
He sounds like Sasha Barry Cohen.
Can you do with Sasha Baron Cohen?
All right, let me try.
Hi, I am Sasha Baron Cohen.
I have real things going on.
That was terrible.
That put me in a bad mood.
I'm sorry.
Don't ever do that again.
From now on, you cannot try out any annotations on the show live.
That's a fair point.
All right, let's see this character.
I'm Billy Wayne Ruddock from truthlibrary.org, and I'm here in Washington with Bernard Sanders to talk about the political situation, see whether we have any common ground.
So let's start with Real Hot Potato.
Do you believe in Obamacare?
I thought it was a good start.
I don't think it went as far as it should.
You believe it should have gone further?
Of course.
But Obamacare doesn't work.
I mean, I know personally, I was a healthy man, then Obamacare came in.
I was forced to see a doctor.
And suddenly I had three diseases.
Suddenly, I had diabetes one and two.
I had obese legs, and I had chalky deposits.
Billy, obviously, I don't know about your healthcare.
I'm not your doctor.
The more important question is, and I can answer that question, sure, is should I be paying taxes to make sure that people like yourself with disabilities can live with dignity?
What do you think?
I prefer to be aimly raped rather than give one more dollar to the Treasury.
May I be personal with you?
Please.
You have a disability?
No, I don't.
This here scooter is to conserve my body's finite energy.
Okay, here's another.
Can you just pause it?
Here's a problem with LEG for a lot of the time.
He acts like a complete imbecile, right?
And then we laugh at someone for giving this guy credit.
It's called sympathy.
If you meet someone with an IQ under 80 and they say Obamacare didn't work because I got chalky deposits, you go, oh, I'm talking to someone with the mind of a child.
I'm not going to go, that's idiotic.
That's called anecdotal evidence, you fool.
Why would your one case describe hundreds of millions of people?
That's retarded.
Well, actually, I have a learning disability.
Oh, sorry.
So you don't do that.
You just sit there and endure it and think, well, maybe we can work with this.
So I hate Bernie Sanders, but this is terrible.
But keep going.
America is supposed to be about is the land of opportunity.
If you describe America.
I agree with that.
But what we have now, we have a situation where the top one-tenth of 1% is almost as much wealth as the bottom 90%.
So there's a lot that has to be done.
And the goal is to create a nation that works for all of us, not just the 1%.
Sir, I don't mean to interrupt.
But rather than complain about the 1% or the 0.1%, why not make the rest of America put them into the 1%?
Well, if you put everybody into the 1%, that wouldn't be the 1%.
No, it still would be.
No, it wouldn't be.
If I can.
The rest of the population, by definition, they're not in the 1%, they're the rest of the population.
All of the population is 100%.
All right, so this is simple math.
If you have 1% here, the 1%, you have 99.
And if you move the 9 in here, we get it.
We get it, we get it.
What do you think, folks at home?
I don't think this is worth our time.
Let's go to the next guy.
Because there was the...
No, skip.
Let's play this.
Because I made one mistake just 14 times.
With perfect candor, believe me, I've done my fair share of things where they could have thrown me in jail.
I bet they have.
No, really.
I think we all have on some level, especially underage drinking, I mean, et cetera, et cetera.
There are so many, you know.
My art is the result of my environment.
I was a bit naughty.
I'm in solitary.
So I did a dirty protest.
Don't mean to, you're a lady, but you know, I did.
Feces on the wall.
Feekeys on the wall.
And it's on the wall.
The guards come in, they're furious.
And then the guard's about to rub it off.
And he stops and he goes, wait a minute, that's pretty good.
Wow, that's art.
Who'd done that?
And I think, wait a minute, maybe I do have something.
I decided to paint what was in my gut so in my heart there's a lot of let's pause it here for a second I thought we could watch the whole episode, but that's tedious to watch someone watching TV.
And this is getting kind of tedious, and it's annoying me.
This guy is a prisoner.
He uses feces, urine, and semen to do paintings.
Obviously, it's made up.
And she is open to hear about this, right?
What's the matter with that?
She's an artist.
She's open-minded.
And he says he creates paintings.
My friend David Cho was buying a bunch of art books in Tokyo.
And he had a big stack, and then he realized he's going to be late for his own art show.
He put the books down and he ran out the door.
A local cop who was hired to watch for shoplifters didn't see him put the books down, thought he ran out.
He chased him.
David didn't know it was a cop, so he beat him up.
Then the guy radioed for more cops.
They also were plainclothes, and so he beat them up.
David's a great fighter.
He's a street kid from Los Angeles.
It was only until a six-foot-tall cop smashed him in the knees with an asp that he finally went down.
Anyway, he was totally rude to the authorities, and even after beating them up, and that's not how you behave in Japan, so he ended up serving four months in prison, in jail, sorry.
And while he was there, all he had was ballpoint pens, his food, and his own excrement.
And he made paintings out of poo and pea.
Here we have, they were always very sexual too, because he was horny in there.
He missed women.
Here we have a beautiful, buxom, opulcritudinous Asian woman, which is his forte, running next to a black man, next to a man made of pea.
Pea with a little bit of poo in there.
This is a beautiful piece of art.
So I don't know what Sasha Baron Cohen is trying to say to this woman, that she's stupid?
Are we supposed to laugh at her?
Ha ha ha.
You think that art made with weird things in a desperate situation isn't art.
She's just very open-minded and cool.
Here's another, do you have another painting?
Now this one, everyone thinks is poo or pee, but it's actually soy sauce from his lunch.
But he did dozens of paintings.
He had a whole art show about this.
I wish he made a book.
He did about 50 beautiful paintings and drawings using all kinds of different things and blood.
He also Used blood for red.
In fact, I bet her nipples are made of blood.
Although blood goes brown after it dries.
So it's not a bizarre concept.
Anyway, go back to that thing because see if you can find when he shows her one of the paintings.
He shows her a painting he allegedly did out of feces, but he shows her this painting that's brown on cardboard.
It's really, really good.
And I'll tell you what, a lot of art is about the story behind it.
If I could show someone a painting that was done by a prisoner, there it is.
It was done by a prisoner with his own feces while he's in solitary, that's fascinating.
It's like a testament to the human spirit.
I'm not going to get all hung up on the poo part.
Look at that.
See, this is where he blew it.
He's trying to mock art, and he shows a very high-quality painting.
Let me hear it.
Well, yeah, he was a burglar, and he was a kiddie fiddler.
Did you show you this?
Yeah, I did.
And what was their response, if I might ask?
He loved it.
He tried to stab me because he said, what, you've done this with your shit?
Anyway, it goes on like that.
And he also shows a toothbrush that he's putting together with Damian Hearst and all these other famous artists, pubes.
And then she goes and gets pubes and puts them on the toothbrush.
That's because she's cool and fun, and he brought up something crazy and weird.
And she thought, yeah, I'm down for it.
It's no skin off my bum giving you pubes.
And she put them in the toothbrush.
What are you lampooning there?
Do you think she was taking the toothbrush super seriously?
And she was honored that her pubic hair was mixed among these artists?
No, she's into art.
She's into weird.
She's into adventurous.
She's being nice to an ex-con who's trying to get his life together and clearly has a bunch of artistic talent.
I don't get the ruse here.
So, look, we haven't done an extensive examination here, but so far, all we have is Bernie Sanders accommodating someone with a remarkably low IQ.
We have Joe Walsh alleging that maybe kids can help when you're in war.
Sarah Palin calling BS, gun owner calling BS, Jason Spencer doing something embarrassing with his butt.
Now, if you go to the Israeli thing, you'll find, and we should end it on this, if you go to the Israeli thing, you'll find that he got this guy, there we go, to do a kids' commercial where they put stuffed animals on a gun.
That is ridiculous, and it's as indefensible as Buttock's guy, Jason Spencer.
Puppy Pistol's mouth right at the middle of the Bad Man.
If he has a big fat tummy, point at that.
Great.
It's fun.
Okay.
Puppy Pistol is part of an old group of new friends that your parents can get you called Gunnimals.
Wouldn't you love to meet this little gunny rabbit?
He's right.
So you got us.
You got a politician there.
But what you got a politician to do is to agree with an Israeli that we should promote guns after this guy was told that little kids saved their lives by using guns in the classroom.
So you got two guys out of how many hundreds of people you tried to dupe by filling them with lies.
And by the way, the trope here, the conceit that he's going for is that these politicians are so far up the NRA's ass that they will promote a gunny rabbit to American children.
No, that's not what happened at all.
You cheated.
You found a country that's surrounded with people that wants to kill it.
And you said, hey, a little girl saved her life here.
Do you think kids should have guns?
I guess.
I've never been to Sturat.
It sounds horrible.
We'll keep you abreast of these dirty tricks.
But so far, Sasha Baron Cohen is two thumbs down.
Who hates Sasha Baron Cohen but loves blowjobs?
This guy.
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