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June 30, 2018 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
43:52
Ep 149 | Red Alert | Get Off My Lawn
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Time Text
Give me that mobile whip whip.
Give me that Christmas stab now.
Ladies love my style.
At my table, get wild.
Giggit, giggin, get them bottle poppin'.
That was Far East Movement.
This song is G6 like a G6.
You know who turned me on to that song?
My daughter.
I like it, but I didn't really pay attention to the lyrics before.
popping bottles?
That's like...
God knows how much it costs to have a booth if you're not famous, right?
I couldn't imagine anything I would like to do less than go to a loud dance club, be behind a velvet rope, can't hear anyone, can't talk.
You're not even dancing.
You're sitting down on these plush seats that have barf and piss on them.
And you're screaming at other people drinking 89.
They can't be, wait a minute, 89, that's not right, right?
Like a drink is probably 12 bucks, and a bottle of champagne is probably, look it up.
How much is it to pop a bottle?
How much is that?
I did it at a bachelor party in Vegas.
It was 80 bucks.
80 bucks?
Okay, I'm right.
And champagne, the way it fizzes out your nose, it's like having a Pepsid C tablet or whatever, like for pept, not peptobismo, but that fuzzy stuff.
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
Oh, what a relief it is.
Elka seltzer.
Drinking champagne is like Alka Seltzer.
I could be dying of thirst, and I would not drink champagne.
It's just like throwing fizz in your face.
So you're drinking fizz, getting bombarded with beets.
You have to scream at everyone.
I would do it.
I would go to the club and pop bottles for how much is it?
350?
I was way off.
Yeah, that makes a little more sense.
So we're looking at like an $8,000 to $10,000 night, right?
The irony is I would do that for the evening.
I would want to come back with in my pocket net $22,000.
I guess I would do it for $10,000, but I'd be really mad.
I'd be in a bad mood.
Oh, my God.
And it's a long time, too.
You get at the club at, what, like midnight, one?
Oh, actually, I can do one to four.
That's only three hours.
I'd be so tired.
Anyway, that's my daughter contributing to the show.
How's my pocket score?
I can't really see it very well.
Yeah, that's good.
Got kind of a nice summary theme tonight.
Red alert!
Queens has a new representative, and her name is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
And she is a socialist.
Now, Gavin, you keep bringing up New York City.
I don't care about New York City.
I know it's a hellhole.
Really?
Well, you should care about New York City because it's indicative of a pattern.
And that pattern is racial politics.
You know why she won?
She won because she's Hispanic.
Her politics are absolutely mental.
Check out her flyer.
Do you have that flyer?
She made it clear what her beliefs are, and this is why she won.
We got Medicare for all, universal jobs guaranteed, fully funded public schools, because public schools in New York don't get any money.
Paid family and sick leave, housing as a human right, even though we have projects up and down this city.
Justice system reform, that just means your cousin's not going to get arrested anymore.
Immigration justice, your cousin's not going to get arrested anymore.
Infrastructural overhaul, that's what they say.
Not even Trump is good at that.
Clean campaign finance and an economy of peace.
This woman's a bartender.
She's a bartender from Queens who just said, okay, okay, I want to be a politician.
And they went, well, you're Hispanic.
What's the racial breakdown there?
So Queens is 40% white, 30% Hispanic.
Blacks are only 20%.
But a lot of those blacks and whites on that list are Hispanic.
So to get that 30 into the majority is very simple.
We need to just borrow maybe five and five from blacks and whites.
And we have 40% Hispanic, 35% white, and only 15% black.
People vote by their race.
And I remember the Council of Conservative Citizens who were criticized as being Nazis.
They said, the KKK just changed their name to the CCC.
But I remember them way back in 2003, 2002, saying, watch this.
I think his name was Samuel Francis.
Watch this.
In the next few years, whites are going to become less.
Hispanics and blacks are going to become about the same.
And people will not give a crap about policy.
They'll say crazy policies like this, socialist, and they'll just vote by race.
Black people will vote for the black guy.
Hispanic people will vote for the Hispanic guy, and so on and so on, until it's just my race against your race.
How many blacks voted for Obama?
Like 99%.
Speaking of racial preferences, I watched Lauren Southern's documentary, Farmlands, last night.
It's mind-blowing.
I mean, as one of the people who cleans up after these farm murders, and we know, just to do a who-what, when, where, why, in case you're not up to date, right now there is ethnic cleansing going on in South Africa.
The whites did not steal that land from the blacks.
There was a few nomadic tribesmen when the Dutch and East India Company first set up camp there, and they bought the land From them.
Then these white people were treated as slaves by the aristocrats, so they started traveling and they made deals with different tribes.
Can I buy this land?
I'll help you fight this tribe in order for this land.
Eventually, they started accruing land.
Everything was going great until the Zulus them over.
They did a big land deal and they said, okay, I'll help you beat this tribe.
I'm going to take this whole swath.
Zulus said, great.
Signed the papers and they said, we're going to have a ceremonial celebration dance and come visit us.
So the Boers said, okay.
The Zulu king then murdered all of them and tortured their leader in front of his, killed his son and then killed him, ate his heart or whatever these savages do.
What followed that was 40 years of revenge from the Boers.
They murdered every Zulu they saw.
I understand.
And then the Brits, Churchill and the boys, tortured, burned, destroyed the Boers.
This is one thing I hate about history is this whole concept of like white oppressor.
There was white oppressors, there was black oppressors.
The blacks massacred blacks in South Africa.
The tribes murdered.
Same with Indians here in North America.
The Indians murdered hordes of Indians.
And the whites, the English whites, tortured the Boers, murdered their women and children, burned their farmhouses to the ground.
So eventually they survive all of this.
Now we're in the early 1900s and they start establishing their own land.
They make Cape Town.
They develop apartheid.
Initially, it was just a tendency they noticed.
And then the Nationalist Party said, things would get really bad for whites if we didn't separate blacks and whites.
So let's keep blacks at bay.
Let's make interracial marriage illegal, which sounds crazy to us over here.
Apartheid was abolished by rich people over in the Western world who saw it from afar and went, what's your problem?
And since then, the government policy in South Africa is just revenge.
That's it.
There's no rationale.
The farms that they take over, they say it's redistribution of wealth and they're not paying the farmers for this land.
It's way worse than that.
They're not taking over the farms.
I forget the exact statistic, but it's something like 95% of these farms just rot after they get taken over.
At best, the blacks who take over these farms just subsist.
They'll have a little plot and they'll just make a few vegetables for themselves to eat, but the miles and miles of tobacco are all dead.
And the irony here is that that's killing the blacks back in the cities because there's no more food.
There's no more water and there's fires every day.
It is beyond Mad Max over there.
And Lauren's documentary is a great example of this.
And, you know, they're talking about things like they wouldn't just boil the child, they wouldn't just drown the child in front of his parents.
They boil him and drown him.
So they boil him alive in front of the parents.
This cleanup crew, of course, had to clean the skin off the bathtub.
It's very hard to watch.
It's way worse than a horror movie, and I'm not exaggerating.
I've never seen a horror movie where they boiled a child.
But you'll all have a different takeaway, and it's free on YouTube.
But one of the things that I just had to stop, I had to hit pause and sort of walk away, especially because it was getting late and I knew I was going to have nightmares.
These white squats where the whites who have been pushed out, it's illegal to hire whites, basically.
They're only 8% of the population.
So every company can't have more than 8% whites, which means that whites can't have jobs because they used to dominate all the fields because they were harder working than the blacks.
Sorry.
Now all the businesses are corrupt.
It's just like the rest of Africa, actually.
We've got another Zimbabwe on our hands.
We've got another Mugabe.
And I found this the most disturbing.
Or at least my brain was the most affected by this, I should say.
And it's these white squats where these white people are just left to die and they're too insignificant to murder and they're too poor to rob.
So they just sit there languishing.
And this is a holocaust.
What you're watching is ethnic cleansing.
This is white genocide.
Actually, forget the word white.
You're watching genocide.
But check it out.
It was at this point that I discovered another phenomenon sweeping the country.
White squatter camps.
So I went to White Squadron.
We've had them on the show before, too.
You can go back.
This squatter camp, just outside the nation's capital, is one of many across South Africa.
Look at that man.
Just pause.
Did you see him walking that beaten, destroyed man?
Now, the Western perspective is, ha ha, you got what's coming to you.
You stole a bunch of land and all we did is take it back and now you're crying.
No.
They bought a bunch of land.
Then they toiled and toiled and made it viable.
And now they're being murdered for it in ways that you literally can't imagine.
Old ladies being drilled to death with drills.
Women being murdered with forks.
They will murder women and children in front of the patriarch, the father, and then they won't kill him.
So he will then kill himself with the memories of watching his wife get raped and his children get stabbed to death.
Is one of many across South Africa and is home to some of the country's most disadvantaged people, many of whom have struggled to find work, basic medical care, or even shelter because of the country's black economic empowerment laws.
It is built on the site of an old dumping ground and is home to around 60 people, most of whom are children.
These litter the country, by the way.
Yeah?
Okay.
Alright, this is Donnie.
He's gonna be a tour guide.
Tour guide?
Hi, Donnie.
Nice to meet you.
Yeah, well, the place is about people that haven't got a place to stay, that stays on the street.
So we help them.
And there's some of the people that is coming in that's got drug problems and all that.
We help them with it.
And especially women that is abused with children.
And we help them with that.
That is what we are doing here.
And from the public side outside, we don't get any support.
So the men here, we are working.
Doesn't that look like something out of World War II?
That man digging that trench?
And you think, okay, guys, time for terrorism.
I mean, Winnie Mandela got Nelson Mandela free by necklacing people.
She put tires full of gasoline around her adversaries' necks, burnt them alive, and it worked.
It got Mandela free.
So you go, okay, why don't you, the white farmers commit terrorism?
Why don't they start murdering people, blowing up buildings?
I don't think the government cares.
A building blows up every day.
A building is burnt to the ground, a mall every single day.
They don't care.
These people are gouging out farmers' eyes.
So if you go to the government, you gouge out their eyes, it's not like that would shock them.
It was just like, oh, we'll have to get a new guy in office.
I don't know what the solution is, but I know that I would go down in a blaze of glory.
Anyway, I'm spending way too much time on that.
We're running out of time, aren't we?
How are we doing for time?
We're at about 14 minutes.
Left?
No, we're 14 minutes in.
Oh, and we only had 15.
So we have one minute left.
All right, well, let's talk to our buddy Michael Knowles, and we can look at some of this stuff later.
You know when you're in way over your head and you start talking weird?
I'm 47, and it doesn't happen to me because I'm too lazy to lie or bluff even.
But when you're a teenager, early 20s, you'll have sort of a shtick, like I'm a communist anarchist or something.
And then you'll meet someone who really knows what they're talking about.
And they'll say, communism is anarchy is the absence of rules.
Communism is nothing but rules.
And you'll go, and you'll realize, uh-oh, someone's calling my bluff.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
And you get this awkward sort of, uh, uh, and you switch your views really quick.
Do you ever, you ever, you remember being like that?
Well, Tom Arnold, that's Roseanne's ex, was on Michael J. Noel.
So Tom Arnold is a piece of work.
He was the one challenging Mike Cernovich to a fight.
Mike Cernovich, who's a pretty good healthy boxing background.
So that would be a hell of a brawl.
Cernovich would destroy him.
But he's an over-the-top nutcase, which in Hollywood is just considered perfectly normal, healthy even.
And he got a show with my alma mater, Vice.
And the show seems to be based on the assumption that there's all these smoking guns with Trump.
Now, Trump's been a public figure my entire life.
People say he's a reality show guy.
If you say that, you're young.
Because to me, he's a Mad magazine guy.
He was always on the cover of Mad when I was, you know, nine.
And then he was the penthouse guy on the cover of Penthouse when I was about 12.
He was always on radio, TV, talk shows, Sally, Jesse, Raphael.
I've never not seen Trump.
So if there's some skeletons in his closet, they're out.
And yeah, I know you talked to his ex-wife.
Ex-wives tend to be pretty grumpy about the guy they split up with.
At any rate, watching Tom Arnold on Michael J. Knowles' show was an amazing event.
Let's show some of the footage from that.
I think that Donald Trump is a Russian asset.
I don't think he knows it.
What's your evidence of that?
I don't think he knows it.
What's your evidence?
He is in love with Putin.
Can you posit?
That's what I'm talking about.
That pivot where someone calls your bluff and you go, uh-oh, I've never had my bluff call before.
So you go, he is a Russian agent.
By the way, Tom, go like this.
Blow your nose.
You have, I don't know, did you do Coke all night?
You have, the way he talks, he talks the way little kids talk.
I thought he was a Russian agent.
Whenever I hear him talk, I just see cross-sections at the head, ear, nose, and throat doctor of sinuses.
Like, I want the air to go up the nostrils so bad.
That poor air, what's going on in that mucus?
It's just, the air is stuck there.
But look at him pivot and move the goalposts as he gets confused by someone asking him perfectly normal questions like what's your evidence?
It's like when you ask flat earthers, why is the government trying to convince us that the earth is round?
Like, what's their motive to lie about it being flat?
And they go, well, I think the earth is a Russian agent.
Putin does have something on him.
He doesn't notice that.
He won't let us investigate.
He won't let us follow through.
They meddled in our election.
He's done everything.
How did they meddle in the election?
New crisis.
They spent $100,000 on Facebook ads to do it.
Do you not listen to our own intelligence?
What intelligence are you referring to?
Because I'm citing the $100,000.
You aren't privy to it because it's the NSA, the CIA, and the FBI.
They've shared all that with the Russian people.
But how did they meddle specifically?
Because it's easy to use.
I'd love to tell you, except I'm not privy to it either.
I can tell you exactly what I'm saying.
100% certainty who shared that with the people that I've done.
I can tell you how the Russians meddled in the election.
And by the way, they fixed the election $4.
It's not like they just spent $100,000.
He's an illegitimate president, and he knows it.
And that's why he's fighting this.
He is not the president.
This is like you hired a street person, like a homeless man, to go into someone's house and just keep repeating various talking points and not answer any questions.
Like, I'll give you 40 bucks, but you have to say this, this, this, this, and you have to get this out.
And then I'll give you a bottle of vodka.
He doesn't deserve to be the president.
Tom, it's in.
He is not the president.
He's an illegitimate president.
I know.
Everything he accused Barack Obama of, that's him.
He's not the president.
Gotcha.
He took all our health insurance away?
I don't know how he did that.
Well, Donald Trump, that's another thing.
He is trying to take people's health insurance away just because Barack Obama gave it to them.
Tom, I liked my doctor, and I didn't get to keep my doctor.
You want to know what?
And he's going to do it again in 18, and Donald Trump's going to make sure he doesn't stop him.
He's not protecting our ballot boxes, our voting machines.
He's going to let Russia do it again.
Donald Trump.
You know what this looks like?
Yesterday?
This looks like someone under a lot of pressure.
I think he's very happy to have this gig, and this might have been the first sort of debut interview.
And maybe the bosses are watching, and he thought, I really got a dazzle.
And then people with low, like, I can recognize it that Knowles is smarter than me, but I don't care.
But I think there's certain people who, when they meet smart people, they get scared.
And they think the smart people are going to eat them or something.
They're like a rabbit around a wolf.
Freaked out about it because he's not doing anything about it.
That bothers me.
Anything about why?
That's why Republicans are trying to protect the integrity of the ballot box.
Why did they show up for that Senate hearing?
Republican senators did not show up because they're beholding to Donald Trump.
If you want to protect the integrity of the ballot box, do you think that people should have to show an ID to vote?
I think you should protect us from Russia, number one, not from Americans.
Protect us from the ballot.
That's enough.
That's enough.
Let's talk to Knowles about it.
Michael J. Knowles, are you there?
I'm here.
Our shirts don't match as well as they could.
It's a little too dark.
I'm sorry, Gavin.
I really tried to work it in my mind, and we just didn't have it.
Well, it's also an unusual shirt.
I wanted layer upon layer.
You know, I wanted a little esotericism in my wardrobe today.
And unfortunately, that doesn't work when you're separated by thousands of miles.
You look like a golf stats expert where we talk to you about the velocity of the ball and what's happening with Tigers season and how he could improve his swing.
As long as I don't come on as a World Cup expert, that's fine.
Then I'll still feel like I can keep some of my masculine cred.
Yeah, they are all pussies, aren't they, with their frosted tips?
Not in Britain.
I don't know.
There's like soccer hooligans and wimps.
That's really the class divide in Britain or in Europe right now.
It's the middle-class soccer fans and the tough guys who were there in the 70s.
That's totally true.
I actually don't really take issue with the European soccer fans.
It's the American soccer fan.
There isn't a single soccer fan in America, but it's all just that posturing, you know?
It's mostly women pretending and then men pretending to women who are pretending.
Yeah.
Well, the soccer moms end up getting into it, and then the dads, I guess, they go to the games.
The next thing you know, you kind of care.
You know what's happening in New York?
There is kind of a soccer hooligan starting.
There's a soccer hooligan thing starting now.
And you have NYFC, New York Football Club, and that's the sort of classic hooligans, right?
Like the British ones.
What was that?
I'm trying to process this, this New York soccer.
Just thinking like, well, I guess my city is completely gone.
It's all over.
I can never move back.
No, they're kind of like the Tommy Robinson contingent.
And then Red Bull is the Red Bull soccer is all the antifug guys, and they're fighting.
Like, they're bringing knives and stuff.
It's getting authentic.
Well, that's important.
Is Maxine Waters a member of the club or no?
She's just the spiritual ringleader.
Good segue.
Well, we were just talking about this.
We've been around for a little while.
And there's kind of like with someone that looks like you or me, if you get into an argument with them in a bar, you might get a little abusive or something or yell.
You're prepared for a fight.
But then there's also guys like the Chingalings or the Pagans or the Mongols.
Or here in New York, we just had the Trinitarios murder a guy by accident.
They got the wrong guy.
I don't go up to those people and pick fights.
But in the modern left, you have basically that.
You have a young Asian girl threatening to firebomb Steven Crowder's van.
You've got a geriatric black woman saying, let's go to Trump guys' houses and scream, no peace, no sleep.
And then you have these women at rallies show up with like pink baseball bats and pink shields ready to throw down.
It is because the modern left has totally divorced itself from reality.
So you've got, I kid you not, I did a poll of like just young people I know around LA.
I said, hey, do you think that your wife could beat you up?
Almost uniformly, they said, yeah, maybe.
Yeah, man.
No, women and men, they're about the same.
There's no physical difference between people.
Yeah, no, maybe, right?
So you've got that total divorcing from reality.
And then you've got Maxine Waters saying, go to these Republican politicians' houses, scream, keep them up at night.
And I don't think they realize that you're not just keeping up the politician, you're keeping up their little baby, too.
We must protect the babies.
They don't really know how walls work on the Democratic Party, but walls, it doesn't insulate one room and not the other room from sound.
Well, that goes back to the biker gangs.
I mean, they know not to mess with kids.
If they want to kill you and your kids are there, they go, go, darn it, I guess I'll get them later.
But these guys are going, no, no, no, kids are included.
Handicapped people are included.
Your entire family's included.
So inevitably you go, okay, well, if those are the stakes, then I'm going to get your entire family and come to your house.
And then they have a complete panic meltdown.
That's absolutely right.
You know, this began the day after the election.
It began with the women's march, you know, and the screaming and the hats and all of this.
And it just kept accelerating.
And it is really amazing right now.
I think the left is trying to call the right hypocrites because we're calling for a little civility.
Civility doesn't mean be nice.
It doesn't mean be like a little soy boy and a pushover and, hey, AMS-13, come into my country.
I'm a really nice guy.
That's not what civility means.
Civility is a formal mode of behavior to deal with insane people like we're seeing on the left right now.
There is a reason that we have these manners and these behaviors, and the left is just knocking them right down.
You know, I haven't been in a lot of fights.
I've been in maybe 10.
But as far as a leftist goes, that's Mike Tyson.
That's a millionaire.
I used to say this, Gavin, when I was in college, I, believe it or not, was sort of in the upper 50 percentile of masculinity.
And people would say, how is that possible, Michael?
How you, you raychao, mat out looking guy, how are you in the upper half of men at Yale?
And I said, because in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
It's like that at my boxing gym.
When I go to spar, they think that they're progressive because they have a gay guy, an old gay guy who gets to come in and hit the heavy bags.
Like, they think they're open-minded to let me in.
Meanwhile, you compare that to like modern Antifa and stuff, and you go, I'm the guy in Gran Torino saying, Get off my lawn.
Yeah, that's right.
Who knew that I would become Clint Eastwood?
It's a dire situation when we are the tough guys, but we are.
And that's it.
Yeah.
These people are picking fights they can.
And you'll notice, too, like in reality, they'll shove you or get right in your face and you'll punch them because that's what you normally do.
That's your instincts.
And then they'll instantly go, poo, and start freaking out.
Yeah, that is, I got to tell you, I don't know if you caught this.
I had Tom Arnold on my show a couple weeks ago.
And I was sitting there and I tried to, you know, just have a conversation with him.
And Tom was getting very angry about Donald Trump and the immigration and this.
And, you know, I actually really like Tom Arnold, but he's like yelling and he's got pointed at my face.
There's something wrong with our audio.
When you were talking there, it said, I actually like Tom Arnold.
Can we fix that?
How did that come through?
I don't know.
Maybe it's the Skype is skipping us.
Should we call?
It's screwed up.
I heard, I actually like Tom Arnold.
This technology isn't very reliable.
How that could possibly, that's got to be fake news.
I know, you know, we're on CRTV coming from the Daily Wire.
It's clearly that's fake news.
No, I actually, when I talked to somebody like Tom Arnold, who was screaming, basically, you know, dancing on the desk and everything, but he was getting very emotional.
I just thought like, oh, this guy is the perfectly honest version of the modern left.
I kid you not, during the interview, he denied reality existing.
He said there are multiple realities.
He said, you know, basically feelings don't care about your facts, man, to flip Shapiro's line.
And he, you know, it was all kind of just insinuation and invective and yelling and finger pointing.
And I thought, oh, this is what the left is.
And what the right has to do is like talking to political children, kind of like, oh, hey, that's okay, but no, but here, and here are some data and here are some fan.
That's okay.
You know, you can, you know, just be like kind of like father knows best.
I find it helps to be interrogative and to say, well, don't you think that maybe an immigration level could possibly get to a point where it was impossible to maintain?
Like maybe 200 million?
Would that be possible?
Yeah, or like, you know, if perhaps we had the highest foreign-born population as a percentage of the U.S. population since 1890.
So, you know, maybe, is there a limit at some point to assimilation?
I don't know.
I'm just, I'm just, hey, man, I'm asking questions.
Well, I'm glad you're the master of Segues, by the way.
We've perfectly, because the reason I wanted to talk to you was the Tom Arnold thing.
We just watched the video, and what I saw was someone who had never been questioned, who had been, and Tucker Carlson argues that Facebook is responsible for this sort of unprecedented bubble thinking where you block out the people you don't like, including relatives and brothers and sisters and ex-wives.
Well, that's.
And you end up just in this sort of preaching in the converted loop where when you finally poke your head out, which Tom Arnold inevitably has to do now that he has this show, he goes, oh my God, no one's ever said maybe the Russia thing wasn't a thing.
And when you started gently and delicately implying that, he was stuttering and acting like a lunatic.
It was bizarre.
I couldn't believe it because I assumed they had something.
They were going to come in guns loaded and kind of surprise me on the show because we had Vice filming us too.
So Vice was in here.
I know you're familiar with that media organization.
Yeah.
I thought it was Vice.
I believe Vice, yes.
Yeah, that's how they say it.
The soccer fans say it.
And so we had them all in here.
And I said, okay, well, I guess my first question is going to be, Tom, what's your evidence?
And I'm sure he's going to knock that right down.
So I said, Tom, what's your evidence?
Nothing.
And when you said that, he looked petrified.
It was like you said the emperor has no clothes, which I guess you did.
He looked like he had never considered that possibility before.
It was really unbelievable.
And I got to say, this is why it is so much more helpful personally to be a conservative in culture.
Because if you're a conservative in culture, I mean, you know, we live in very left-wing places.
I've always lived in really left-wing places.
And you have to defend your views constantly.
Yes.
Every second of the day, someone is attacking your views.
So you figure out what you think.
If you've been in Hollywood, Tom Harnold's been in Hollywood for what, 35 years at this point.
Has anyone ever contradicted the mainstream liberal view?
He's the opposite of a black conservative, which is why Ann said our blacks are better than their blacks because they get hammered at Thanksgiving, they get hammered at Christmas, often get attacked by their own wife on things and they have to say, look, calm down, honey.
But in 1956, there was a bill passed, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Lays it all out.
He kept, he was, his whole show is based on sex tapes.
And if there's one thing my gut tells me, it's that a germaphobe was not out philandering and having disgusting orgies with strange women.
That's not the way those guys work.
You know, though, the craziest part, because I think what they're trying to do on the show is conflate all the tapes.
So what all anyone's been talking about is the weird like golden showers thing in Moscow.
But then now they're saying, well, we have a tape of Donald Trump not tipping at the diner.
See, we've got it.
We have it.
Yeah, that's right.
And he, but what Tom said is, I've heard Donald Trump say the N-word.
And so I said, oh, well, I actually have that tape.
So I played Robert Bird just saying the N-word, you know, on TV a bunch of times.
And he said, oh, come on, everybody said that.
What happened?
I remember there was a guy, he heard a rumor that a black guy put his dick in my mouth at a party when I was passed out and everyone was drawing on me, which, by the way, I would consider that very rude, but not career-ruining.
Uncouth behavior.
Yeah, I would.
Locker room talk.
Like, it's about as bad as when they draw a penis on your head and you don't notice till you go to work the next day.
It's unsportsmanly.
Yeah, like, you know, when they put one in your mouth and you don't notice till you go to work the next day.
Right, exactly.
And you're like, hi, do you have that normal process?
Hey!
But this guy tried to bribe me and get money from me, but he didn't have evidence or the picture of it.
And he was trying to extort me.
And I go, dude, if you're going to do extortion, A, the person has to be mortified by the thing.
And B, you have to have the thing in your possession.
And Tom Arnold is trying to blackmail Trump without the photograph.
It's just innuendo.
Yeah, it's all just innuendo.
But that, I think the whole, you know, look, he said the N-word.
Oh, who cares?
Everybody has send the N-word at some point.
That whole flip shows you exactly what this is all about, which is that nobody cares about the thing itself.
Donald Trump has just like gently blown on their face and they have lost their mind.
It is all just get Trump, get him, get him.
And if the argument has to change 180 degrees in two seconds, they're going to do it because he's just driven them crazy.
There's no more substance to their objections.
Look, everything's going great.
The economy is going extraordinarily well.
The IMF says it's Trump's responsible for the boost in the global economy.
All of these SCODIS decisions are phenomenal.
The federal bureaucracy is being slashed.
Unemployment record lows.
I could go on for 20 minutes.
Everything's going so well, so they just have to keep moving the goalposts and shifting their argument to get the guy who evades them.
Well, they've shifted their argument so drastically.
We have Michelle Wolf hoping for a nuclear annihilation because that would prove that the left was right about North Korea.
And Bill Maher hoping for a Great Depression so he can prove that Trump is bad at the economy.
They really have revealed their true agenda, which is I don't care if I have to burn America to the ground as long as my side wins.
That's exactly right.
But it's also like not just a selfishness as a partisan matter.
It is just a personal selfishness because these guys were so wrong.
They were wrong about every prediction they made.
And that includes some of the Trump critics on the right, too.
I mean, these guys who said that the earth is going to fall apart, the markets are going to tank, that everything is going to go wrong.
And they've been so wrong that they're just dying.
They're begging.
Oh, if just any of those dire predictions turns out right, then maybe I don't have to rethink my own expertise and wisdom.
Didn't Kurt Eichenwald pull out all his money out of the stock market when Trump was elected and lose a full-time?
With all of those tentacles, he pulled out one bit from this index fund and this mutual fund?
Right.
Speaking of globalism, this might be a little far-fetched, but I think the globalist attitude, like the Soros attitude is burn America to the ground and then rebuild it in my image with my corporations and my plans.
That's why he likes Antifa.
He likes chaos.
But he needs minions.
So he has these Michelle Wolfs and these Antifa.
But they don't seem to understand that George has his Soho apartment, then he has his country house in the south of France.
He's fine no matter what happens.
They're going to burn in the flames.
You're going to be part of the destruction, freelance bloggers.
That's always the way it is.
Given.
I actually, I don't know if you know this.
This is not a joke.
This is a true story.
I was a sommelier at George Soros' wedding.
Did I ever tell you this?
This is a true story.
I'm going to use that again.
If you ever cross me or you ever say anything bad about me, I'll go, this guy is a Soros plant.
Here's a picture of him as a Sommelier at Soros' wedding.
I got to tell you, so I end up, I was an actor in New York, and actors get all these weird casting calls.
You're always trying to get any job.
Being a somalier is acting.
You're pretending that there's good and bad wines.
That's right.
I mean, I don't know anything about wine.
So they literally cast actors for a secret hidden project that we couldn't know about to go talk about wine at some big event, right?
So I go in and they ask me, they say, do you speak any other languages?
So I say a couple languages and I speak a little Esperanto.
I'm telling a joke.
They say, oh, good.
Client number one speaks that.
I said, it's George Soros.
They said, yeah, that's it.
I find myself the only right-wing actor in the state of New York.
I am pouring wine for all of these, all these fancy left-wing.
Oh, they're going to reinvent the world, people.
And English.
This is a totally true.
They're sitting there drinking Chateau Neuf de Pop, like, oh, yes, I can't wait for the proletariat to rise up.
Michael, a little bit more please.
Yeah.
But there is an utter disconnect.
It will never hurt the elites.
When everything comes toppling down and there's fire in the streets, that will never hurt the elites.
They will not miss a single sip of their chateau nouf de pop.
It's all of these foot soldiers, all these people who have jobs, all these people who just want to support a family.
They're going to get absolutely crushed.
Well, that's the crazy part of all this, is that they need us to protect them from them.
Like feminism has destroyed women.
Our traditional ideas would leave them happier, so we're trying to rescue them from their own drug addiction.
Of course, I mean, you know, I forget whose line.
I think it was Charles Murray's line who said that the elites don't preach what they practice.
Yes.
You know, the elites do, they actually do the things that make you happy in life because they're elites, right?
So that's what they're going to do.
And then they tell everyone else, oh, don't get married.
Oh, no, don't get married.
Don't have kids.
No, don't do this.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't generate wealth in the economy.
Don't invest.
Right.
No, just go build bathrooms in Zambia.
That'll make you happy.
Oh, I'll be on Wall Street.
Oh, don't mind me.
I'll just be over here on Wall Street.
Bill Gates and his stupid malaria machines that cost a million dollars each.
I got a malaria machine.
It's called Bleach.
Kill all the bugs.
Muico, we're out of time.
Thank you for coming on the show.
And as we like to say in Esperanto, isto Balancio, dutu, not Ferranto, Kilepadu, Santo Chula, Miro Sigo Badad, Inar Forgalamo, Teropola.
Wow, that was some of the most beautiful poetry I've ever heard, Gavin.
Thank you.
I'm actually blushing after you say that sort of thing to me.
Well, it was also in haiku format.
Yes.
Put your hands up.
Make you put your hands up.
Put your hands up.
Lady Gaga is a popular pop singer from just down the street here in New York City.
She is Italiano Catholic.
Dumb, I would say.
There's something magical about her where I feel absolutely zero sexual attraction.
And she's a very attractive young lady.
She checks all the boxes, you know, shapes-wise.
I actually prefer this chick.
This softball player, I find, a lot more attractive than Lady Gaga.
And technically, if you were to, you know, map it out mathematically, the softball player would be much less attractive than Lady Gaga.
But I would way rather be with her.
Look at her.
Even with the little extra gunt there by the waist.
Like, even her feet.
It's hard to explain to women why this person is so much more attractive.
Go up.
Why this person is so much more attractive than Lady Gaga.
I don't know what it is.
And maybe I'm the only one.
Maybe other guys are like, are you crazy?
She's super hot.
I find her.
And I bet she's cool.
That's the other thing about Lady Gaga.
I bet she's kind of cool.
We have a lot in common, same scene.
I actually know people.
I actually met her once.
I remember at Max Fish.
She came storming in and she said, I love Ben Cho, this fashion designer who OD'd on heroin, but we were both friends of his.
And I talked to her for a little bit.
And I said, that song you did with Wale was drastically underrated.
By the way, she was with a guy that night who had taken, she wrecked a home, and it was a guy who was married with a newborn, and she was dating him.
Maybe that's what it is.
Maybe that set me off.
Anyway, here she is with the Dalai Lama.
This is some 32-year-old bimbo who's good at playing the piano telling a giant room.
I don't know how many people are in this room.
I'm going to guess like 3,000.
Telling a bunch of people, a massive crowd of people, really important stuff that no one knows.
Check out Lady Gaga, Drop in Science.
The really fantastic thing.
Wait, wait, wait.
Look at it.
Look at her makeup.
You know, she spent like an hour having some homosexual draw a face on her face.
And she looks like a plastic puppet.
Like, she looks so weird.
She looks like a really good animatronic robot where they basically nailed it.
I would say the Japanese guy that made this face, perfect.
I cannot tell that it's a robot.
You did a beautiful job.
The lips, the move perfectly.
She looks like a weird Disney exhibit.
It's a small world.
So anyway, I'm not familiar with kindness.
I've never heard of it.
I've never thought about kindness or its price.
So please tell me, 32-year-old pianist, what is special about kindness?
Is that it's free and it can't hurt you or anybody else.
It is the thing that brings us all together.
In times of chaos and crisis, what we all tend to do is start pointing fingers at where we've got the bad guy.
This is literally, and I don't like using the word literally, but this is literally directed to six-year-olds.
This is how I would talk to a five-six-year-old.
I don't think a seven-year-old.
I don't think an eight.
I know my nine-year-old, I would never talk to him like this.
He'd say, what are you talking about, Dad?
Yeah, I know.
What?
And imagine you're a teacher and someone wrote this out and submitted it.
You'd go, what are you doing?
Don't waste my time with that crap.
I told you to do a real assignment, not just write a bunch of jargon about being nice.
We all start arguing.
Everybody has different opinions about that.
Please do not forget hatred or evil, whatever you want to call it, it's intelligent.
It's smart.
And it's invisible.
It doesn't have a color.
It doesn't have a race.
It doesn't have a religion.
It has no politics.
It's an invisible snake that while it is planning to make its attack, it is thinking to itself, I am going to divide my enemy into smaller, less strong.
Are you talking about Soros?
And then I'm going to talk to each other so that it's easier to take them down.
Can you just pause?
Oh, God, I hate that smirk.
Look at the Dalai Lama.
Even he's bored.
What the f is she talking about?
He's thinking.
I could apply that to anything.
You just said good is good and bad is bad.
I could make that whole speech about sorrow.
So that's the problem with these motherhood statements, this blatant dull rhetoric, is you're not saying anything.
God damn it.
That's the problem with rhetoric.
It's free and it hides within all of us.
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