Get Off My Lawn Podcast #48 | I invented a new diet
I’ve lost almost a pound a day with a new diet I invented called “Beer Starvation.” All you do is grab a beer and nurse it every time you’re starving. The only time you can eat is at dinner. That’s it. The end result is a smaller stomach which means, when you finally do eat, you only need a few bites. All this fancy exercise and paleo this and gluten that is just lazy people trying to cheat the basic truth that all you have to do to lose weight is burn more calories than you take in.
You didn't invent a new diet, because I've been talking about this quite a bit, I'm very proud of myself, but I feel like I've discovered something in the chick world, because dieting is a chick thing, and so I try it out.
And I just nail it instantly.
And they're like, no, it's actually harder than that.
You know, The Emperor's New Clothes.
These women who have been buying their Pendletons where they have a $3,000 bicycle that yells at you or going to the SoulCycle class or all this yoga crap.
Yoga.
Yeah, I'm really working out.
I stretched.
God, even Jim Gold was telling me that I'm trying to defend yoga.
He's like, I'd like to see you last.
Yeah, it's painful.
That doesn't mean you're burning calories.
Go stab yourself.
That's not burning calories.
You're just stretching.
It's just painful stretching.
Yoga should be reserved for people who have been caught shoplifting.
And instead of bogging down the courts and wasting cop's time, you have to go to another room in the back and stretch until you... It's like the stretching rack, right?
It's a medieval torture.
It's good.
But I noticed...
A couple weeks ago, I think this is because I started driving my motorcycle to the train station, and I used to ride my bicycle, and I noticed I was getting fat.
So I switched back to bicycle.
Well, that wasn't solving the problem.
The problem was, I couldn't see my penis anymore.
I was in the shower, I was looking down at the water, cascading across this giant beer belly, and the drops were falling, and I couldn't see what was going on with the penis drops.
Oh!
That reminds me, the penis drops are playing at Mercury Lounge on Thursday, if any of you guys want to go, I know the bassist.
We can just go, we can hang out backstage.
They're, uh... It's a group of huge black guys that just play death metal.
And, uh, I don't know how to break it to them, but their name is not intimidating at all.
They think it sounds scary.
And I'm like, guys, it makes you think of that slogan, the way, no matter how you shake your peg, the last weed drop runs down your leg.
And they go, yeah, that's the name of our first album.
And I go, not scary, dude.
It's funny.
And they go, it's scary.
And I go, you guys don't have a normal sort of black voice.
You don't talk like black guys.
And they go, what?
Help me out, Gavin.
Which way do black guys talk?
And now I'm not invited in the green room anymore.
So I was wrong.
We cannot go see The Penis Drops on Thursday at Mercury Lounge.
We're no longer speaking.
Because I told them the truth.
I told them hate facts.
And that's what my new diet is.
It's called starving yourself to death.
So what you do is, you wake up, you can have a coffee, you eat zero things.
Then, at lunch, when you're hungry, you eat zero things.
Now, this gets physically painful around 4 o'clock, but you just have to make it to 5.30 or 6.00.
If you're a family man, that's when we eat, because the kids haven't had lunch since noon, right?
So, if you can just make it to the family dinner, which, by the way, is a crucial part of being a parent, is making sure the family eats together.
I was just in England, which I'll probably get to, but there's a whole culture now with the poor, where they all just sit and get fat on welfare, And the new industry is immigrants coming in and delivering them food.
That's the new economy in Britain!
Importing people to deliver greasy fried chicken to fat people.
Man, these people aren't eating together anymore.
Good thing we got women out of the kitchen, huh?
Isn't that going great?
Anyway, speaking of women...
So around now, actually now is a good time of the day to mention this.
It's getting around 1.
You're supposed to not eat anything till 2.
I've also been talking to gays about this.
They're well-versed in this kind of stuff.
And they say, no, you just don't have anything till 2.
This is kind of like that.
But around two when it starts really hurting, because you sort of feel like, you know when you get the wind knocked out of you?
That's how you feel when you're starving yourself to death.
You feel sort of tight in the chest area.
And I think I've also given myself heartburn from all this torture.
But I'm shrinking the sides of my stomach.
So what you do around three, two to three, is you have a beer.
And the beer does two things.
One, it gives you empty calories.
And that fills your stomach, so your stomach stops complaining.
And two, the alcohol numbs the pain of the hunger pains.
And now, sailing to 536 is new probs.
Although I gotta say, you get pretty darn grumpy around 5 o'clock.
But so what?
Just avoid people.
And I've only been doing this diet for 11 days, or something like that.
I could not see my penis 11 days ago.
It was gone.
Gone to the world.
I was a woman.
I know what it was like to be a woman.
And then, about four days in, you start seeing the foreskin.
Five, six days, the bell end, as they call it in Britain, appears.
And I'm down to shaft now.
I'm seeing plenty of shaft.
And my penis is huge, so it'd probably be different for you.
It might take you like two weeks before you can even see the tip.
And that's- that's fine too.
I'm just- it's kind of a silly metric to use because it's- I'm so unique.
You know, my dick is so big that around Valentine's Day, I will see snakes, like boa constrictors, start slithering towards the door with like a box of chocolates.
Because they think it's a female.
I can't go to the zoo.
One time I got tackled at the zoo because they thought I was smuggling out a bow constrictor.
And I was like, guys, pull on it.
That's mine.
No, it's an albino!
It's a gorgeous, perfectly sculpted, extra large African albino boa constrictor.
You just tied it to your pubes!
It took me hours to argue my way out of there.
And I ended up strangling most of them.
I just let it wrap around their torsos and I crushed them.
It was my only way to get out of there.
My penis is so big that in the past I've only dated women who were completely hollow in the center of their bodies and had a hole in the top of their head.
Or else I'd end up killing them.
It's actually a curse in many ways.
Anyway.
Bad metric, but... Bad metric!
That's a pretty intense jazz band from North Carolina.
And I've noticed animosity from broads when I bring it up.
Like, oh great, here we go.
Ladies!
Very simple math.
You burn more calories than you take in.
You keep changing the types of calories with your gluten and your sugar and, oh, you don't eat on Wednesdays and, oh, I ordered food.
Look, the only time that makes sense is if you're a boxer and you're trying to get down to a certain weight and you have to eat seven times a day or nine times a day, they have these weird diets, and then you don't feel like cooking all the time.
That I get.
And boxers shouldn't starve themselves because they need nutrients.
They need to grow muscle.
I don't.
I'm not here to box.
I'm here to see myself nude.
And here's the real reason why I did it.
You want to know why?
Because I'm cheap.
I'm cheap and rich.
Which is a bad combination.
Because those of us in the cheap rich community have a lot of suits.
I think I probably have about, all my suits are custom made.
So I probably have about 7,000 bucks worth of suits, right?
Because they're all about... I actually... Here's another thing Cheap Rich Guys do.
We have a tailor from Hong Kong who comes to New York a few times a year.
We meet him in his hotel.
He does all our measurements.
And then, you know, because see if they've changed.
And mine had changed.
And then he goes back to Hong Kong and makes the suits from anywhere from $750 to $1200 bucks each.
Shirts $50 to $150.
But that's monogrammed and fit to your body like... But PJs.
Really, really comfortable.
But...
As I was getting fat from sitting on my motorcycle and not doing anything, uh, the suits were all too small and they were physically painful.
And you know sometimes you trick yourself and you go, oh I'm fine, and you click the button anyway, and then about an hour later you got a really bad stomach pain?
That would mean I'd have to buy a whole new line of suits.
That's too expensive.
I am keeping these suits for the rest of my life.
I will literally starve myself to death before I will buy a whole new line of suits just because I'm fat.
That's what I don't get about fatties.
And again, some of my best friends are fatties.
But you get all these warning signs.
Like my buddy Andrew was just in New York recently.
Yeah, I gotta get some sort of valve on my fucking stomach fixed because I blew up because I'm a fat pig.
And the doctor's really mad and I gotta do this.
And I go, why don't you stop being a fat pig?
Wouldn't that prevent how many times you have to go to the doctor?
That's it.
That's my message for today's Show America.
Stop being a fat pig.
It's easy.
You just starve yourself to death.
And the thing about the one meal a day, so I finally make it there, right?
Usually it's like three beers and some grumpiness.
I finally have the dinner with everyone.
You devour it, but here's another thing, too.
Your stomach has shrunk.
So, like, double servings, getting extra, it doesn't really... You don't really feel like it.
It's just a...
A normal-sized meal now does you fine.
And then you don't want anything else after.
I think Amy Schumer talked about this.
She said, every meal with our family would eat till our stomach hurt.
And I remember doing that as a cheap person too, because you'd go, I don't want to have to eat later.
I'm just going to eat until I'm splitting the seams of my stomach and I'll have to lie down for an hour after.
That's a form of cheapness and a form of laziness and a form of fatness.
And even my wife, she goes, you're looking pretty good.
That's, that's working.
And I go, yeah, I invented it.
And then she goes, it's called intermittent fasting.
It's not a big deal.
It's how we were made, by the way.
I don't, that's one thing I don't get about women.
They're really good at pain, right?
Like, a woman can- I remember this.
Back in the late 80s, early 90s, getting a tattoo was a big deal.
And it was a male thing, and it was a place you'd have to go to some biker spot, or sit on the train.
Even in New York, where it was illegal, you'd have to go on the train to Civ- Anthony Civarelli's spot, Lotus Tattoo.
An hour and a half out of town.
It was a major thing, getting a tattoo.
And when a woman came in, you'd go, what the fuck?
What is this, a lesbian biker or something?
They weren't in tattoo shops in the early 90s.
That was, of course, a great thing.
Um, ladies, if you're gonna get a tattoo, get a fist-sized one.
So whatever the- the surface area of your fist is, that's the most ink you should have.
So if that's a whole bunch of little ones, okay, we could do that.
Or if that's one big- and when I say big, I mean the size of your fist- if it's one big one, that's fine too.
But all this, like, the kids today, with a giant octopus on your thigh, and then two knives on your knees, and then...
Some stupid fucking peacock on your arm.
I used to, back in my single days, I used to fornicate with said ladies.
And in the dull light of night, you look like you're covered in mud.
It's like having sex with someone who is a mud wrestler.
It's just not attractive.
Oh, and the worst, the worst is those chest pieces with like a big eagle or a big naval ship.
What are you, a sailor now?
Where'd you get that, in Indonesia when you were fighting off some tribesmen?
Tattoos are meant to say, uh, I am tough, and I'm from a thing, and I don't want to talk about it.
Now it means I'm kind of bitchy, and I want to talk about it.
But, uh, yeah, these... So these girls would start coming in, and you'd see them getting tattooed, and they're just like... And they're talking away.
I would have to have, like, six beers.
One trick I would have to do for getting tattoos, I'd pretend he was interrogating me.
And I'd go, is that all you got?
I ain't telling you shit.
I'll never say a word.
Yeah, try harder.
So he was, it was a torture to make me talk and I would never flip on my bros.
The only problem with that one is it makes the guy laugh so hard that he ends up doing shaky lines.
Because you're sitting there going, is that all you got?
Nice try, motherfucker!
And he's like...
Um, so the women can handle it.
And also, I don't know if you know this, you know what happens with sex?
Like your mommy and your daddy, they love each other very, very much, right?
And they do this thing that feels like a tickle and, uh, they hug each other.
And then the dad's body gives the mommy's body something that makes her make a baby.
Nine months later, the mommy lies down and her vagina opens up to the size of a baby head.
So, that's way more than I can handle.
Why can't you be remotely uncomfortable for 20 minutes a day?
Like with the sweater all the time.
Ooh, it's kinda chilly.
I'm cold.
Are you cold?
Yeah, I'm 1% cold.
You don't have to run and get a cardigan every time you're 1% cold.
These people I see on the trains in the morning, they got their little jackets on in spring.
What are we, May now?
They've got their jackets on in spring because it is chilly first thing in the morning, yes.
Right when you get out of the house, it's 60 degrees.
That's what the weather's been this week.
All right.
So you're chilly.
And then in the middle of the day, when it's noon, when it's 70, now you're fine.
And you don't have to carry a big jacket around.
Why?
Everyone always brings a jacket out.
Look at the weather.
Look at how long you're going to be gone for.
Jump into the center of that time and see what the weather is and dress for that.
God, how many times do you have to carry a woman's jacket?
You guys give birth and you don't flinch when you get tattoos, but you can't have the slightest cold elbow for one minute?
And this is why I'm surprised that women haven't tried my new diet.
And it's not called intermittent fasting.
That's what the competition wants it to be called because they don't want to lose any credibility.
The name of my diet is called beer fasting.
It is a godsend.
By the way, speaking of beer fasting, I was just in Britain with Soccer Hooligans.
Fascinating weekend.
There is a war going on in Britain right now between Muslims and Soccer Hooligans.
And the police aren't really invited.
They don't really participate.
And Antifa, that's the funny, the idea that they Think they're part of this thing?
It's hilarious.
It's Halarskis.
We went to this free speech rally, where I spoke in front of 5,000 people despite the media saying no one was there.
And, uh, there was Muslims showing up, there was a big fight, and they all knew each other.
It was Ali...
Dawah and Muhammad Hijab, I think they're called.
I know that sounds like I'm a racist not remembering their names, but it really is that.
It could be a parody name.
Ali Dawah and Muhammad Jihab.
And those guys, you know, they have other gang members and these guys fight with machetes and guns and they kill each other.
It's South Central.
And they're all, you know, they're fucking murderers on both sides.
This is... The press isn't really exaggerating when they talk about how dangerous it is, but they're only focusing on one group of bad guys.
Both guys are bad news.
They're brawlers, man, like...
The guys I was hanging out with had caesarean scars, like big thick scars on their faces, and I'd just wear a machete in my arm, but thank God it did, because I put my hands up right in front of my face, right?
This geezer comes down, machete goes through the bone.
Now bones heal, bones grow, but it's always going to be sensitive.
And that hurts when I'm fighting sometimes.
You know, if I'm blocking, I'm getting old batters on it, and I can feel the bone ache, you know?
Uh, no, I don't know.
I'm sorry.
No offense.
I'm not familiar with how your bone feels when it's been chopped in half by a machete.
I'm sure it's quite rough.
Antifa showed up to the thing like...
Whose streets are streets?
It's all rich kids.
Upper middle class rich kids who've been educated at Oxford and they've read about Karl Marx and they're absolutely chuffed with communism.
I think it's unfortunate that the working man won't embrace Marx and these soccer hooligans just just fucking flatten him.
It just nailed them.
And sometimes you see these kids, these commies, communist and anarchist kids, and you see them get punched in the face and you go, ooh, that's someone who's never been punched in the face before.
Because it is shocking.
When you first get it.
Jesus.
That's why I could never box.
I tried it a few times.
But I'm very sensitive and I want to have a sit down with someone after they punch me in the face.
Like, what just happened there?
It's alarming.
It's like being woken up with a big bucket of cold water in your face and then have someone yell at you math questions.
You're just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let me dry off a little bit.
Let me towel off.
Get some paper and a pen and I'll answer your math question.
Also, I need a new shirt.
Right, these guys just picked me up from the airport, right?
I'm doing my new diet, beer starving.
And we just, we had a match, a looting match.
Last game of the season, right guys?
And um, I just, can we pull over to the petrol station?
Alright mate.
I'll get some beers, I'll get some Guinness.
Which I don't think has more calories than other beers.
That's a myth.
And by the way, Bud Light doesn't have less calories.
It has less alcohol.
They're all about the same calories.
And light beer is just less alcohol.
You know a real alcoholic when they drink Bud Light.
Because you know he's having 40 that day and he's using it to slow you down.
And that's to slow himself down, like an anchor.
Oh, that brings me to another point.
It's not really related to my diet.
But we drank for about 18 hours, so 11 a.m.
when I got off the plane till 5 in the morning probably.
But no spirits is key!
No whiskey.
Those geezers, they like their vodka, Grey Goose.
I'm not talking about them.
I'm talking about you and me.
This new, this beer diet is the greatest thing ever.
Maybe it's just natural, right?
That's, I talked in the other podcast about how the Indians, Mamaset would say, or Samaset, whatever his name was, said, do you have beer?
Because the pioneers would drink it all the time.
And you read, whenever you read about, you know, gangs in New York days, in early New York, when they would, before they knew how to make rope, when they would all do it voluntarily, You know, do you know about this?
Back in the days when you would have rope, there's no machine that makes rope.
So, there'd be like a thread that's a hundred yards long, and you'd put those together, and there'd be seven volunteers on either end, you know, twisting them all.
And about a hundred people would voluntarily make rope.
Together.
It's a thing you did once in a while, just because we needed to have rope.
So can everyone come over for a rope party?
And they talk about it.
The reason I know this is from Michelle Malkin's book, Who Built That?
And she was talking about the Roebling family who built the Brooklyn Bridge and how they ended up inventing, you know, a way to do better steel rope, which is steel suspension bridges.
And that started with them having people over to make rope.
And you just read about the, like, they come over at seven.
And we'd all have beer, and then we'd have a beer break at five, and then we'd end up with beer and bread and some yeast and some beer.
And you just realize beer, even for kids, that was just what you drank in New York in the 1800s.
Because water was so polluted.
And I sort of feel like I'm discovering, you know, the reverse.
It's sort of like a paleo diet, right?
Where you only eat cave food.
I'm only drinking pioneer food.
And that's why I woke up ready to do that speech, which was terrible, by the way.
My speech at A Day for Freedom was the worst speech there.
I was yelling at everyone backstage too.
Not yelling, but you know, nagging.
Count Dankula, Milo Yiannopoulos, Sargon of Akkad, and I was saying...
Don't script.
Don't hold on to paper.
Just wing it.
Just make it up as you go along.
People appreciate that.
And they went on to do well-organized, eloquent speeches that got nailed the point.
And mine was just a rambling mess.
My first lines, I came out and I go, I wore different hats.
Like, as a Scottish guy, I wore a Scottish hat.
And I said, see me, see Mamo, see Fesh.
Mamo hates Fesh.
It's a thing that Scottish people say where they introduce each noun.
And I thought everyone in the audience would recognize that funny little Scottish tendency and they'd all laugh.
No.
I go, my parents are from Scotland.
And then I put on a flat cap, like an Andy Cap cap.
I go, then we are was born in England, where I was born in Itchen, just up the road.
And then we lived here for a while.
And then we moved to, and I take off that hat and put on a wool toque, with Montreal Canadians all going to go, then we moved to Canada.
And I just had that accent pounded right out of me.
And then I moved to, and then I put on a MAGA hat for America, I just said.
Growing up in all these countries was fun.
We had Speaker's Corner as a kid, and we had people making jokes, making stupid, offensive jokes.
I didn't mention this one, but I remember being in Scotland, and there's a little plastic kid by the bar.
You went to bars as kids, by the way.
You went to bars as a baby.
Your parents would just put you in your little basket behind them, in a smoky bar.
Um, but I remember seeing a little plastic kid and it was for the, whatever, the National Sick Kids Research Fund.
And you'd buy a pint and maybe you'd put some change in the little kid's head and then when that filled up it would be whatever, 60 pounds for the children's fund.
And someone with a marker had given the little sick boy with a cast and everything a Hitler mustache and a little swastika on his arm.
This was in a tiny town, Lead Hills, in Scotland.
And I have a very faint memory of that being like, I don't know, nine years old or something.
And, you know, obviously the person who did that wasn't a Nazi.
It's just a stupid, funny joke to have a sick, dying, paraplegic Hitler on your bar.
That's amusing and silly.
And I was saying that culture was true of everywhere.
Everywhere.
Canada, New York.
And now I'm turning around looking back at these countries going, what happened?
And I mentioned cases of people being arrested in Britain for a tweet or being fired for a joke.
I just read about a guy today.
He's in an elevator with a woman.
And they're going up and it's like at a Macy's type place.
And she goes, where are you headed?
And he goes, I guess it's got like an elevator operator.
Just, uh, get me off of the woman's lingerie section.
And a co-worker heard him and is demanding he apologize.
And he goes, it's a fucking joke, and no, I'm not apologizing.
It's a very timid joke, too.
He's obviously not going to that, um, floor.
End of story.
What's the issue here?
You indicated that you want to wear panties.
And that gave me nightmares for weeks.
By the way, slight side note, if you're watching TV with your five-year-old and you're scrolling through Netflix and you want to check out Hellboy 2, don't do that with a child.
It makes bedtime pretty laborious.
I had to do a lot of talking down after that, and I also had to stay there for many, many, not hours, but a long time.
So yeah.
Woke up on Sunday.
Still doing the beer diet, by the way.
Actually, you know what?
Come to think of it, I don't think those hooligans I saw them eat either.
I think one of them had a sausage pie at a petrol station.
Until we got back into our lorry.
But, um... Oh yeah, we had a big dinner.
That was it.
We had a big dinner Sunday night.
So now I've been there Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
And, uh... Your stomach shrinks.
My stomach is the size of an almond now.
So I ordered a huge cheeseburger that would be the first meal since I got there, basically.
And four or five bites in, I'm good.
I handed it back.
You're right.
Yeah.
I had four bites.
That's a lot of food.
If we were in the forest and it was 500 years ago, that's like a squirrel.
Once you take the head off and get rid of the bowels and stuff, I had about a squirrel.
That's normal.
I bet if you said to a caveman, are you hungry?
They go, I'm good.
I just had a squirrel.
Oh, okay.
Well, let's go rape some bears.
Or whatever they did back then.
So I'm just surprised that women haven't picked me up on this brilliant new diet.
Soccer hooligans do it, and they look gorgeous.
Actually, one of the best things about hanging out with these guys, and I think it's because they embrace their own violence.
If we want to fight with each other, you know, opposing teams, it's voluntary.
Who are we hurting?
Why is the British middle class so obsessed with extinguishing hooliganism?
It's voluntary.
It's just male sex.
I just want to beat you up.
Okay.
I want to beat you up too.
Oh good.
No.
Stop it.
This has to stop.
It's violent.
What's the matter with hate too?
I love hate.
Hope not hate.
Hate has no home here.
Hate's a normal emotion, alright?
I hate you, for example.
Person with that sign.
And all the Antifa people were like, we don't want hate!
And I'm thinking, guys, you hate me.
You're drenched in hate right now.
You're enjoying your hate.
You're screaming.
You're with your friends.
There's hate and there's love and there's indifference, right?
Why do you want to block out one of them?
I hate seafood.
I think, I think shrimps are the cockroaches of the sea.
I can't believe you people eat them.
It's a, it's a pink cockroach with those legs.
What other bugs do you eat?
Even lobsters.
It's just a giant cockroach.
No, but it's good with butter.
Yeah.
It's good when you boil it to death and then smother it with butter.
So is everything.
So is a piece of paper.
So is butter.
Go, go, go smother butter in butter.
I bet it tastes pretty good.
Alright, I gotta stop taking swigs.
I'm really... this beer diet is really, uh... Sometimes you really gotta accelerate the beer because the hunger pains come back faster.
But I don't know the exact numbers.
I don't weigh myself.
I'm not a girl.
But if you are out there and you are fat, I strongly recommend you take a page from the Hooligan Book and go on the Beer Starvation Diet.
It is a gift from God.
I am breathtakingly gorgeous.
In fact, On my show, CRTV Tonight, this Friday, I'm going to do, I'm going to talk about that Donald Glover video, Gambino, whatever.
I'm going to talk about that, and I'll come out dressed as him, which is shirtless in white jeans, and you are going to see one of the sexiest, like, you're just going to drool.
I would recommend you duct tape a paper towel, no, a whole roll of paper towels.
You should have a paper towel beard.
Ladies.
And ladies, if you're gonna watch CRTV tonight and see me shirtless with my new diet, my new beer diet, I would recommend not just a maxi pad, but go to a pet store, like a pet care store, and get those doggy pads that they have for dogs that pee on the floor.
Take the entire package, all seven pads, put them on top of each other, then wear rubber pants, No, you can wear normal pants.
For rubber pants, it would just come out your cuffs, about the bottom.
Wear normal pants, sit on those pads, because you are going to get so wet, you might get dehydrated.
I would recommend, if you're gonna watch me on Friday, ladies, have a paper towel beard, be sitting on a pack of doggy pads, and also be drinking a Super Gulp.
Because you're going to get dehydrated after you expel so much moisture through your various areas.
And why is that?
How did we get here?
Beer starvation.
And you're not hungover, by the way.
That's another thing.
I was going to do a whole podcast on that.
When you quit bourbon, when you avoid the hard stuff, like during Lent, for example, you get so much stuffed on.
It's amazing.
And you watch movies and you remember them.
Although, I have to say, I met with some Proud Boys on Saturday night, and the memories could be a little stronger when I look at the pictures.
Anyway, I digress.
So, maybe this is a short one, I gotta go, but if there's one thing I can tell you is women are lying about diets.
It's not hard at all.
Katie Hopkins did this, remember?
She said, these women are just being fat and lazy.
If you want to lose weight, just lose weight.
And I said, you don't know how hard it is.
So she said, oh yeah, watch this.
And she put on like 60 or 70 pounds.
I forget how many, a lot of pounds, and then just immediately lost them.
All it takes is depriving yourself.
All it takes is suffering.
Suffering gives you strength.
It's good for you to feel bad.
Don't take your phone into the bathroom when you're taking a dump.
Deprive yourself.
It makes your stomach shrink.
And then, when you do have food, it's more delicious.
