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May 3, 2018 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
40:33
Ep 125 | That's My Boy! | Get Off My Lawn
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Hey dudes, that was just some random dude from the Baju tribe in the Philippines.
And these guys don't really go to land.
They go to land when someone dies.
They go to land to get drinking water.
But they live on tiny boats and swim all day.
They can be underwater for five minutes at a time.
They've trained their pupils to see better underwater.
Fascinating group.
And groovy tune.
They need some strings in there and they could make their own rock and roll.
I think that tribe really helps the argument about the aquatic ape theory, which if you listen to my podcast, you know I'm obsessed with and is getting more in traction as we get older.
It's becoming less of a flat earth kind of a thing and more people are taking it seriously.
I don't know how I feel about it.
I'm not smart enough.
I just think it's fascinating.
I'm wearing a short-sleeve polo with a suit.
I like that look here.
It looks very British working class.
Cigarette smoking Andy cap from the 80s kind of thing, early hooligans, you know.
But I don't like the way that there's no shirt coming out.
So you have these sort of bare arms.
It looks like you're wearing floods or something.
That's not a good look.
We have a fun show for you today.
We're going to make fun of fat people, as we were wont to do, while being respectful.
Because I am a person that's in the fat community.
I'm like a fag hag, but for fat people, I'm a fat hag.
All my friends are fat pigs.
But all my friends go, yeah, I'm a fat pig.
It's not healthy.
I'm focusing today on the ones who pretend it's like being black or handicapped and it's something you're born with that you can't prevent.
I'm sure there's a handful of those.
But for the most part, you just indulge yourself.
It's like me being a drunk.
But the Kanye news still goes.
Oh, yeah, we also got Stephen Harrod on the line coming in after I talk about fat people, a Catholic pal of mine.
I'll do a separate intro for him because he deserves some space.
Yes, Kanye's still going.
We're up to two major news pieces a day on Kanye West.
And it's not me, it's the news.
He is all over every newspaper.
So the latest thing is 400 years of slavery.
That sounds like a choice.
Now, this guy's doing his job.
Just like Kevin Williamson at National Review when he said women should be hanged for having abortions.
You're presenting interesting, crazy, outlandish ideas.
If you're not Mao, then they're not dictums.
They're not policies.
I want you to stimulate my brain.
The idea that the slaves could have done way better and had a better revolt sooner sounds insane to me.
Sounds ridiculous.
It's offensive.
That's what thoughts should be.
That's what artists should do.
They should blow our minds with crazy talk.
But believe it or not, it's not going well in the black community.
And here's something that I firmly believe.
That talking about slavery again and again in this day and age is fucking ridiculous.
You know, I go to China sometimes.
Big statues of Mao everywhere.
He murdered 70 million of them.
They don't really talk about it.
We don't need to get into it.
There's the Bolsheviks, 30 million were killed.
We've got that was Stalin, right, with Holodomor.
We have Pol Pot murdering thousands of people.
We are the only ones that dwell in the past.
Oh, it's so horrible.
And I'm being specific when I say we.
Russia doesn't dwell.
I'm not even saying white people.
I'm saying Westerners love to dwell in the past.
It's a sickness, really.
And it's an albatross around your neck.
But check him out.
So he goes to, Kanye goes to the TMZ offices.
Do you have that?
Today.
Do you feel that I'm feeling, do you feel that I'm being free and I'm thinking free?
Yes.
I think what you're doing right now.
And the reason why I feel like that is because, Kanye, you're entitled to your opinion.
You're entitled to believe whatever you want.
There is fact and real world, real life consequence behind everything that you just said.
And while you are making music and being an artist and living the life that you've earned by being a genius, the rest of us in society have to deal with these threats to our lives.
We have to deal with the marginalization that's come from the 400 years of slavery that you said for our people was a choice.
Every day we have to walk into that truth while you choose to say things that, to be honest with you, dog, are nonsensical.
You want to think freely?
That's fine.
I'll combat your free thought with my free thought because mine is grounded in a reality that I've been giving and a reality that I'm going.
That's enough.
We know what he's saying, right?
I feel like I'm good at translating these things now.
He's saying slavery was real 400 years.
By the way, weren't we mostly British when we had slaves?
And if you really want to get into slavery, the West didn't start it.
The West ended it.
It was started in Africa.
It's still going on in Africa today.
You don't want to open that Pandora's box and stop using it as an excuse for your failures.
Everyone, cops want to kill me.
This is what he was saying.
Cops and other people, he lives in constant threat, not just racism where people think he's human garbage and spit on him and go like that behind his back.
But also cops got their rifle sights on.
There we go.
We got a Negro.
Look at him.
He's at the grocery store.
That's because of slavery.
Slavery dehumanized blacks and now they're human garbage and he has to live with that every day, which is just false.
What he really means is, don't take my crutch away, Kanye.
I've built my whole identity on it.
That's really the anger.
And that's fascinating that someone that is worshipped, literally worshiped, that's why they're so mad because a god said something.
Someone that is worshipped so much has dared to say, you know what?
No, let's get over it.
It's boring.
Stop being a victim.
I saw a salon had an article about him, and it was written by a guy who said, Some of the writing on the left, I don't check it out often, but when I do actually read these articles, I go, you're illiterate.
Some guy named D. Watkins, right, has said that he has a mental illness.
And you're ready for what the mental illness is?
Does Kanye have a mental illness?
Yes, it's called capitalism.
Addiction to money.
And money is capitalized by, oh, no, addiction to money.
Those are all capitalized.
Like it's the name of a disease.
You don't capitalize diseases.
Cancer is a small C. And many other Americans suffer from the same ailment.
The only difference is that we aren't selling our souls because of it.
Yeah, because when he trivializes slavery, he gets tons of money.
So I looked up this guy, Dee Watkins, who wrote that article, that terrible article.
And you realize he's a black guy.
It's a bigotry of low expectations, right?
Let's hire him.
He was a heroin dealer.
The guy who wrote that quote I just told you about addicted to money was a heroin dealer.
You want to talk about selling your soul?
How many people did he kill with his heroin?
Even if you have sort of disowned that past and apologized for everything, I don't really think you get to be on your high horse and tell other people that they're selling their soul and they're greedy for a quote.
He didn't sell anyone a drug that you OD on and die, you pig.
Heroin dealers are now telling us.
It's like Jay-Z telling us that everyone's racist.
The cops pulled me over for no reason.
They want to search my glove compartment.
Yeah, your previous song was about being a crack dealer.
Didn't you shoot your brother?
Didn't you sell your mother crack?
Why are the cops hassling this guy?
It's like NWA on that album Straight at Compton.
The two main gists of the album are one, I never should have been let out the penitentiary.
I'm an insane murderer.
And two, the cops keep hassling me for no reason, just because I'm brown.
I thought you didn't even think you should not be in jail.
But check this out.
There's a lynching museum in Alabama.
You want to talk about living in the past.
By the way, do you want to, everyone, should we have the little kids who worked in the coal mines during the Industrial Revolution?
Do you want to see a modern display of white victims of black crime?
Should we have a giant statue of that couple, what was it in Kansas, that Christian couple, who were murdered, raped, burned alive for days by five people?
Tennessee.
Knoxville, Tennessee.
Well, there it is.
Do you want us to keep having shrines to the worst parts of our past?
Check out this museum.
It's beyond depressing, and it's a uniquely American thing.
This should be called, this should be a statue as a thank you to the West for abolishing slavery globally, by the way, not just in America.
Look at this.
I told my mom I was coming to the bottom.
This is positive.
Look at that.
Hey, kids, you want to go to the Torturing African People Museum?
Does a baby have a chain around its neck?
I don't think they chained babies, did they?
Guys, this is like when my friend was going to the Holocaust Museum and he's showing me pictures of it.
And he did a whole tour of all the different gas chambers.
And I go, Sal, look at these pictures.
No, not Sal, Saul, wrong religion.
I go, Saul, look at these pictures.
No one on that tour is under 70.
You're a young man.
You're 25.
Go get laid.
Go do drugs.
Go get arrested.
Go crash a car.
Why are you dwelling in someone else's history and the most horrific parts of it?
What are we all got?
When did America become goth?
Let's see some more of that, though.
Bama, and I was going to go to what I told her was a lynching museum.
And she said, why would they want to do that?
Yeah.
I think that we have developed a really advanced coping strategy of silence.
No, sorry.
Okay, that's enough.
This is my, the exact opposite is true.
We have a coping mechanism of not shutting up about the past.
I would like it if we had a coping mechanism.
Remember, don't ask, don't tell, where you could just be gay in the military and it wasn't a thing?
Remember when you could just dress up as a woman and not demand a bathroom?
Remember when you didn't make your thing everyone else's thing?
God, get off me with your suffering.
Anyway, speaking of horrific events, did you see this woman who was kidnapped?
She met this guy on a dating app.
Have a look at his face.
There we go.
British sex.
Go back to the headline there.
British woman held a sex slave for two weeks in Italy where she was raped by three men, manages to escape after calling her family.
Now, this is a horrible thing to say, but when you look at that guy, he's a refugee, and this woman met him on a dating app.
She was obviously morbidly obese, right?
I mean, you know that only a fat chick would subject herself to that guy.
Do you have any instincts?
You look at that face and you go, this sounds like a charming date.
Let's have coffee in Rome together.
No, but seriously, folks, let's talk about fat people for a second.
Here's the deal with fat people.
Some of them are born that way.
A very tiny percentage, however.
You want to know how many?
The way it was in the 70s and the early 80s when you had a fat friend.
I got a lot of fat friends.
Fat people are some of my best people.
But you have to concede that if you represent the majority of fat people, let's say 95%, you're dying and you're choosing to be dying.
So there's going to be some cultural backlash to that, just like heroin addicts, just like smokers.
If you're a natural fat, sorry, it sucks to be you.
But for the most part, when you're getting like this, you're dying.
And I talk to surgeons, by the way, who tell me that back in the 80s, you had one crazy chair for fat people, and they had it custom-made by a welder, and it could handle 800 pounds.
They go, now, and we had one per hospital, now that's the normal chair.
Now they have to recut door sizes on hospital rooms.
They had to redo beds.
They don't know how to stitch up fat people because you cut the skin, you burn through the fat, you do the operation.
Now you can't Stitch them up because the split fat is always sort of pushing, and when you sew it, you rip the sutures out.
So, if you are fat, it's a free country.
You're messing up hospitals, but I don't hate you and we don't want you to die.
But you're not a victim, you're not black, you're not paralyzed, you're not handicapped, you're not blind or deaf, you are a fried chicken addict.
Look at this tweet.
You know, Sophie Hagen, she's like a Dutch comedian that's big in Britain now.
On behalf of all fat people, F plane seats, F cinema seats, F theater.
Why are you mad at chairs for making you fat?
And why are you mad at capitalism for judging what a normal butt is and designing seats accordingly?
If an airline made all fat people seats, which they probably soon will have to do, they'd lose customers.
They'd lose money.
You're talking about altering all of society on your behalf.
I'm just a big girl in a small world.
Yeah, well, it's a small world.
You're not going to change it.
Anyway, check out this video.
This blonde fat woman has a pretty good attitude about it.
Well, believe it or not, I'm classed as morbidly obese.
I'll be honest, the last time I was naked in front of this many guys and gals, that didn't work out well.
Fat bitch, fat C-U-N-T.
Okay, just wait for a second.
Yes, you've been insulted.
This is another thing you see with black people.
We are all insulted all the time.
I'm sorry it happens to you.
Sometimes it's by a little kid.
On Twitter, it could be a 12-year-old.
It's not indicative of society trying to hurt you.
And by the way, you know that all those insults that she was getting are from other women.
We don't usually do that.
We don't really care.
Bears.
Hey, look at the fat.
The fat bastard.
Bin bag full of turds.
I've always been my personal favorite.
Being bullied for my weight.
Yes, it did hurt.
I do care that people caught me fat because obviously you wouldn't go up to someone in a wheelchair and say, oh, you're in a wheelchair.
If someone call me fat, let's just pause it.
You're not in a wheelchair.
You're obese.
It's your fault.
You had too much fried chicken.
And by the way, I've been going to Britain my whole life and I definitely remember the same time you started seeing KFC joints, which is like 20 years ago, is when the epidemic just started, started happening.
It's fried chicken.
Why let it bother me?
Because I have.
My weight is about 22 starting.
My weight is currently just under 20 stone.
The last time I weighed myself, I was about 22.
Just pause it for a second.
Did you catch that?
She is fat.
She made a choice.
I'm going to prioritize food.
I think a lot of them, a lot of women have been molested and they eat as a way to make themselves unattractive.
You know how guys with facial tattoos were always molested by their dad?
I think a lot of these girls have had some sort of sexual trauma and they're trying to make themselves unattractive.
And she's doing a great job.
By the way, Britton, stones?
You're still measuring in stones?
You may want to update your metric system there.
I weigh about as much as a bunch of stones.
How many gallons do you weigh?
27 stone is about 300 and it's almost 400 pounds, like 380 pounds.
That's a lot.
I fell pregnant at the age of 16.
My boyfriend at the time, he left me.
Two brothers and sisters, they used to call me Fatty Fatty Bum Bum, who ate all the pies.
All that made me do was go for the packet of crisps.
Oh, just pause it here.
This is a common thing with fatties where they say, you know, when you insult me, all it does is make me eat more.
Yeah, I'm not insulting you to help you lose weight.
I'm insulting you because I'm mean.
There's no agenda there.
We're not working together.
The fact that you can go poo your pants after I insult you, I don't care.
All you're doing is making me eat more.
Good, fatty fatty bum bum.
I'd come for eating and I went up from a size 12 to a size 24.
I got pregnant and my boyfriend left me.
Which I'd eat like a whole box of cakes and then I'd feel angry at myself for doing that.
Then I'd eat again.
I used to go and buy the 24 pack of Capery's cream eggs and I would eat them all.
Oh, did you hear that?
No illusions as to why I'm fat.
There we go.
I quite like pizza.
Favorite food.
It's got to be like, was I having a big farto?
By the way, can you just pause it?
What the hell is going on here?
What is this video?
It's the beginning.
It starts out saying, you know, people think I'm fat.
They make up funny names for me.
By the way, everyone has a funny name.
I know a woman who's 35.
She farted in grade school and she's been known as Farto ever since to this day.
There's a guy on Metro North who collects the tickets.
His name is Paint Chips because he's so stupid.
And he's like, hi, I'm Paint Chips.
That's just a normal thing.
Half of my friends I only know as nicknames.
In fact, I used to hang out with a guy named Fat Peter because he weighed about this much.
So the first half is I'm fat.
And the second half is, here's all the things I stuff in my face to make me fat.
Yeah, I know.
This is a duvet, by the way.
Not this.
This is Scarface.
But you can't get six.
You've got to get 20.
The serving suggestion of six people.
Six people?
No, just me.
I just like food.
That is fake.
I just like food.
Being a fitness instructor, you see these people walk in and they kind of look around.
Just pause it there.
She's a fitness instructor.
This is the one who eats 24 Cadbury eggs.
You ever eaten a Cadbury egg?
It's like enough candy for a week.
Like you eat it and you go, oh, this is good.
I mean, it's yummy, but by the time you're halfway through, you're like, I think we're good here.
I've been eating chocolate for an hour.
Do that 24 times.
I don't think you could.
You'd be like Paul Newman in that movie where he's got to eat all the eggs.
I don't think you could eat 26 Cadbury eggs.
That's a talent.
Who the instructor is, and then they look at you.
She's a fitness instructor.
I do take more of a bus seat up than a normal-sized person would.
Just because I'm a big girl doesn't mean I can't be effective, and it doesn't mean that you have the right to judge me based on what I look like.
Okay, this is a common thing they say.
They go, you don't know how Fit, I am when someone weighs 300 pounds.
Bull, I know exactly how fit you are.
You're 378 pounds fit.
You're 27 stones fit.
There's no way someone is jogging and working out and is still a huge obese person.
That's just a straight-up lie.
Go ahead.
You know, the whole body and all of your experiences all kind of lead you up to where you are today.
And then if you could change yourself, then all of that kind of history isn't present in your body.
I'm not saying I'm proud to be fat.
All I'm here for is to sit here and say, you live your life how you want to live it.
I think we all have an ideal body, and this isn't my ideal body, but it's my body.
Why are we judging each other's bodies?
Why can't we just be happy for each other?
Okay, that's all I'm gonna end there.
Why are we judging each other's bodies?
Because it's a natural instinct.
Why are we attracted to beauty in the first place?
We're attracted to fit women with childbearing hips, by the way, because we want to breed.
There's a normal instinct to not be attracted to someone who is dying.
Sorry, when you see, do you get horny when you see a junkie on the streets going and doing that thing where they think they're a tripod and they can fall asleep and stand at the same time?
No, because you go, there's a dying person.
I don't want to have a baby with that person.
She, meanwhile, is having babies with her boyfriend who's not going to stick around.
All right.
Obviously, if someone is self-indulgent and overeats, as they all just admitted they were, you're going to have a self-indulgent person.
What does self-indulgent people do?
They complain about their lot in life and blame other people.
So now, fat people are basically slaves, and it's the year 1876.
Check this out.
The old joke goes, patient walks into the doctor's office, says, doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this.
What should I do?
I wasn't sure if I was going to say that.
And the doctor says, so don't move your arm like that.
Now, fat girl walks into doctor's office, says, Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this.
What should I do?
And the doctor says, have you considered weight loss surgery?
Can you just go?
What's the matter with the doctor caring about you?
And by the way, the original joke, it was never a fat girl.
It's just a person.
You made it into a fat girl.
And this whole diatribe she's about to go on is about how doctors won't shut up about her weight.
The doctor's job is to prevent you from dying.
You're dying.
And weight loss surgery, by the way, would be perfect for you.
You know that surgeon I was talking about when I said that his whole career has changed drastically in the past 15 years?
He told me that if the government paid for gastric bypasses for weight loss surgery where they shrink your stomach down, the government provided them for free, we would be financially ahead.
He made a libertarian argument for the government giving free weight loss surgery because it is so expensive dealing with all these fat people.
And I had a, it's a long story, but I fell on a fire nude.
So I had to have my butt cheeks treated.
And I'm sitting in the emergency room, which I'm in like once every five years.
I never go to the doctor.
And every single person there was fat.
They had these big, huge chairs in the waiting room, and they were filled with fat people, and they couldn't fit in the normal chair.
So they would just sit on their giant legs that looked like caterpillars, these big fat tubes.
And it wasn't uncomfortable for them because they're just sitting on their bodies or pillows.
And they were all, one woman was playing video games on her tits because her tits came straight out like this so she could rest on it like a table and she was my age and she was just complaining about how the doctor said he was going to fix her weeping sores and she gave him this medication and it didn't work so she's all pissed that he screwed up with her sores no you screwed up all right go ahead listen to how often this woman goes to the doctor walks into the doctor for a flu shot and gets a lecture about bmi fat girl walks into the doctor's with an
and gets asked if she's ever eaten a salad.
Fat girl walks into the doctor's office with a spider bite, and the doctor obsesses over how low her blood pressure is.
Just pause it here.
How often do you go to the doctor?
Sounds like you're there every week.
And who goes to the doctor for a spider bite?
It would have to be brutally infected before you're going to check yourself into ER.
I've been bitten by a spider.
Unless you're in Africa, no one cares if you got bitten by a spider.
And by the way, you know what this woman's mad at?
Reality.
She's mad at facts.
And you see this too when women get older.
I remember a friend of mine, she was like 35, and she said, I went to the doctor, and he said, I'm getting kind of old to have a baby.
And he said he's worried about me if I ever want to have kids.
Can you believe how sexist he is?
I'm like, I think you're mad at God.
I think God is the sexist one in this story.
He's just telling you details about your ovaries.
This doctor is clearly telling her that she's dying and how to save her life.
Go ahead.
This is tedious.
Blow for such a fat person anyway.
Insists on checking it three times before he'll believe it.
Forgets completely about the mass of purple spider venom that brought her here to begin with.
Purple spider venom?
Fat girl walks into the doctor's to ask about antidepressants and gets prescribed exercise instead because obviously her depression is because of her fat.
And obviously fat bodies never exercise and stay fat.
Fat girl walks into the doctor's office for a standard three-month follow-up appointment, and the doctor says, have you considered that weight loss surgery yet?
Can you believe this?
Fat girl gets tired of constantly being diagnosed as fat.
So fat girl stops walking into the doctor's office.
Fat girl walks into the world and says, world, it hurts to exist like this.
And the world says, so stop existing like that.
Fat girl walks through a world that would rather she slice herself open than to exist as she does.
Yeah, what's the matter with that?
Fat girl walks through a world overruns the sidewalk.
Everything this world is telling you is perfectly logical.
You're dying.
Side effects, be damned.
Fat girl walks into the world and still somehow manages to live her fat.
body and the world says stop glorifying obesity fat girl walks into the world I need an antidepressant after hearing about that.
It doesn't involve weight loss, it involves booze.
All right, let's do one more.
This is a woman who, I don't know, she's so obese in this next video that I'm worried that it's natural.
When I first appeared on stage, what was your perception of me?
Just pause.
I'll tell you my perception of you.
Balloon at a children's party.
You look like you were twisted into shape by a clown.
No, but seriously, folks, those arms are so turgid, she looks like sausage casing.
I think this might be one of the few cases where she can't help but she has a disease, a thyroid, whatever.
And she's going to sit here and complain about weight bias.
And to her, I say, look, I'm sorry if you are magically like that and there's nothing you can do and it's not from fried chicken or exercise, but you represent a fraction of the fat people.
And we were living in an obesity epidemic where there's 500,000 obesity-related deaths per year.
We're concerned about it as a culture.
We don't deride them.
We don't deprive them of jobs.
That's illegal.
But we say, hey, I'm not going to ignore the fact that you're killing yourself.
And if you're innocent, sorry, collateral damage, Chubby.
Go ahead.
Lazy.
Disgusting.
Perhaps depressed.
Unmotivated.
Unhealthy.
Yes.
Based on my appearance, it's usually assumed that I'm lazy and unhealthy.
That my weight inflicted.
Well, that's because it's true most of the time.
That's not true.
But often I don't get a second chance to make a first impression.
Now, those theerotypical perceptions that pop in people's minds when they see someone affected by obesity, that's weight bias.
Weight bias.
Can you just pause it here?
You see what's happening.
Everyone wants to be black because it's the ultimate victim.
If you're black, you've got to pass.
You can bitch about slavery all the time.
It's cool to be black.
Ask Rachel Dolozel, ask Sean King.
But not everyone wants to sit there and give themselves an afro.
So they just eat themselves into blackness.
And now you're a civil rights crusader fighting against weight bias.
Go ahead.
I'm getting sick of this.
And I'm hot.
Very hot being fat.
Someone who once made fun of my cankles might hurt my feelings.
Thanks.
But weight bias that I've experienced in healthcare has hurt me physically.
When doctors and nurses have the perception that I'm lazy and unmotivated and non-compliant, that influences the care they provide and then has a negative impact on my health.
You have a negative impact on your health.
All right, I've had enough.
I've had enough.
You know, I don't think anyone is a victim in 2018.
I don't think black people have the right to complain about racism.
I don't think gays have the right to complain about homophobia.
I think there is equal bias across the board from white, black, everything.
In other words, racism evens itself out and it's no longer a thing.
Bigotry isn't a thing.
Nazis aren't a thing.
You are being lied to about biases in America today.
But if there's one person who's at the bottom of the list when it comes to complaining, it's these people in blackface, basically, in fried chicken-induced blackface, complaining about their lot in life.
Come on.
Alcoholic goes into the doctor's office.
Hey, you might want to stop drinking so much.
It's bad for your liver.
Can't believe that you're still alive when he sees the amount of fat in your liver because you drink so much.
Alcoholic goes into car dealership.
His new key is going to cost $450 because he fell asleep and peed his pants and his key got wet.
Alcoholic says to his wife, why are you mad?
And she says, because you're drunk, idiot.
Alcoholic kids say, I don't understand you, Dad.
You're slurring.
This is the world we live in, us drunks.
We keep waking up with bloody noses and black eyes, wondering who we got in a fight with last night.
We're living in a world that hates us.
Or we could just stop drinking.
Remember, Bill Schultz gave me a pamphlet to help me stop falling asleep and peeing my pants in a chair.
He's like, it's the problem with our bladders.
I go, Bill, we drink too much.
Stop doing that.
I never wet myself during Lent.
Anyway, speaking of Lent, I want to talk to Stephen Harriet.
He's on CatholicVote.org.
He does a great show called the Stephen Harriet Show that is a very sober and fun and relaxed Catholic perspective on things.
He's a very soothing dude.
And as a guy who's new to Catholicism, I like asking him ponderous questions, such as you pray for the Mets when they're playing, and then you pray for your daughter who's sick.
Does that help?
Stephen, are you there?
I am, I think.
But why?
That's what I want to get into, actually.
All right.
I have one simple question for you.
Does God sweat the small stuff?
Does God sweat the small stuff?
Yes.
That's it.
It depends on the small.
What kind of small stuff?
Some of these kids.
A little kid has cancer.
The parents are praying.
God hears their prayers and makes the kid better.
He often does, yeah.
But why only sometimes?
Yeah, I mean, he has a weird way of letting bad things happen.
It's called his permissive will.
It's not his active will.
He doesn't make bad stuff happen.
But when bad stuff happens as a result of the work of Satan, who I'm not a fan of, by the way, he ends up two thumbs down for Satan.
But God allows it, and then in the long run, he ends up doing amazing things with it.
So for instance, like the child you mentioned, and this is something I would never say to a grieving set of parents because it would be insensitive, but that child will end up eternally happy.
And in fact, in ways that they may never know, great things will come of that child's suffering and death.
Well, the atheists are obsessed with the trouble with evil, the problem with evil.
But the deists in general have a good argument, and it's not that argument.
I'm not saying your argument was bad.
But they say, look, there's the Big Bang at the beginning.
That's the first domino, right?
An omnipotent force pushed the first domino.
And by the way, I've pulled a lot of people out of atheism with this deist argument.
And everything after that is chance.
And the reason he does that is because if it wasn't, then what kind of universe do you want?
We're all Superman.
You can just walk off the top of a building, hit the ground, get up, and walk away.
Superman doesn't enjoy the Grand Canyon.
It's not special to him.
He just flies in, goes around, flies out.
It takes like a day to get down there.
It's more exciting for us.
I like that.
Yeah, no, no, and I would actually say I like that so much that, and I kind of have toyed with atheism and despair myself.
And I would have loved to have heard that at many points in my life.
I would actually even say that isn't really, in its essence, incompatible with what I believe now, which is more or less Catholic doctrine.
And so what I said about the permissive will, I think that is true, isn't it?
I mean, like, things, most, tons of things happen that God doesn't intercede with regard to, and it shouldn't be a problem for us to accept that, hey, look, the world isn't chaos where, like you said, everyone is Superman and completely reorders reality on a whim when they're, say, their child gets sick.
No, there's an order of things.
There's a reality that cancer does cancer stuff.
And it's predictable.
And if it weren't, I can't even imagine the alternative, right?
The world where miracles are an everyday occurrence.
It wouldn't make sense.
Right.
And if you look at the span of human life, although obesity is starting to change that, but it's just average lifespan getting more and more and more.
So it's like he set this domino and knew that it would be on the way to perfection because it's inarguable that every year things improve.
Every decade things improve.
And there's less kids suffering today than ever before in history in America.
There's more freedom and America is the freest country in the world.
So I just have trouble with this notion and I haven't solved it yet.
This notion that you can stop your kid having cancer.
Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't make any investments to that effect.
I mean, it doesn't usually happen.
It often happens in comparison.
I mean, like in comparison to having it never happen, it happens a remarkable number of times.
But we call those miracles, and they are completely, they shouldn't be thought of as like, well, if this doesn't happen, then something's wrong.
Right.
Right.
That's kind of sick.
And actually, I would think that would be setting yourself up for a pretty sure loss of faith as soon as your kid gets cancer.
We see that all the time.
We see that all the time.
In fact, there's that movie Signs.
Remember Mel Gibson?
Love that movie, actually.
Yeah, he doesn't believe in God because his wife passed away.
No, Ron Coleman's argument is that he does sweat this.
Ron Coleman's a Jewish friend of mine who's a free speech advocate.
I don't know why I just said his name like everyone would know who he is, but he's the guy who got that ban, The Slants, to be able to use their name.
Anyway, he's an intellectual and he's Orthodox Jewish.
But his argument is, look, we're talking about a being that was able to create the universe in a big bang 3.5 billion years ago or whatever.
So you're talking about that kind of power and that kind of omnipotence, that kind of ubiquity.
Something of that strength can handle, you know, you on your skateboard, like the Mets game, he can handle.
Sports is a great example.
You're sitting there praying that Cespidus is going to get a grand slam.
If I was God, I would say, what the hell?
I don't have time for this crap.
Yeah.
But he does have infinite time.
Right.
Well, I mean, one of the things that I like is that God doesn't act quite like I would if I were in his shoes.
If I was in his shoes, there'd be no flip-flops on earth.
Yeah.
No, I mean, you know, and I'd be, no, I'd be like Mike Pence, you know, with the zaps coming out of my eyes, you know, like a handmaid's tail going on.
It'd be a pretty good, sweet setup for me.
But the thing is, like, God doesn't, like I said, completely alter reality.
And there's something kind of sweet about that.
I like that things happen to us.
It allows us some passivity when there's a natural order.
A friend of mine once said, and it was like, for me, it was like the biggest high ever.
It was like, whoa, dude.
Because he said, none of us has to die.
It's not an action we have to do.
All of us are killed.
At the end, you don't have to go through the task of dying.
It happens to you.
That's kind of neat.
Right.
I like that.
I'm like, good.
That's one less thing I've got to do.
That takes the heat off.
I'm going to be croaked.
I'm not going to croak.
It's great.
Well, what's incredible about the grand design is it includes kids with cancer because there is rewards over time.
Like, I've noticed there's no beer more delicious than when you've done a home repair.
Like, you fix your fence and you redo the posts and they're really solid in there.
It take you all day.
The sun's going down.
You pop on a beer.
There's actually a saying in Greek, in Gaelic, I think, or Latin that says, from hard work derives pleasure.
It's my family's clan.
That's how I saw it.
But anyway, there's an innate reward you get from hard work.
And I think that's part of the grand design.
Similarly, you get nightmares when you murder people, and you tend to get murdered yourself.
I mean, there's all these checks and balances put in there.
Unfortunately, sick kids is part of that.
Yeah, and if you try to hang on to power, like say, you know, royals in the Middle Ages or Renaissance, you know, by inbreeding, you know, fate is written into our genes, literally.
You end up with kids who die young and ones who survive into adulthood end up looking like malnurtured beasts.
Right.
That's fate.
God wants that.
Maybe he wants race mixing, too, because you get hybrid vigor.
Oh, yeah.
Plus, of course, mixed race people happen to be gorgeous.
Thank you very much.
I'm part Irish, part Scottish.
Yeah, me too.
I'm pretty exotic.
I've got Scottish, Dutch, English.
It's pretty amazing.
I don't even tan.
The women can't get enough of me.
Remember when we were kids, you'd burn so bad that you could try to get the biggest piece you could possibly get?
Yeah, I also remember, you know, storing, it was like those ponchos that you take, those hipster ponchos where you drink out of your back from those things.
Those things would form on the back.
Yeah.
I think that's where they came up with the idea.
They just said, put a straw in that.
Pretty gross.
Put a strong in Steve's back.
Stephen, we're out of time here, but I don't think we solved it.
I still don't know what God hears when a family has, their child has cancer and they're praying.
I don't know what God hears.
Well, come on over to the Stephen Harriet show and we'll figure it out and conclude the conversation.
Okay, done.
Oh, I forgot to show you the paper.
That's my boy.
No one knew who was behind a string of armed robberies on Long Island, but they saw his face on TV and the mom convinced him to turn himself in.
And the quote from him is, a mother knows her child.
Well, clearly, a father doesn't know her child.
No, I don't mean to disparage African Americans.
They are some very talented people.
And started the show with an aboriginal music from the Baju tribe.
Here is, and don't show the video, let's just play the music first.
Here is Sweet Sounds of Africa from a young boy who invented his own instrument.
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