Get Off My Lawn Podcast #42 | Let's Just Abolish School
I start out with a pretty reasonable idea: liberal arts colleges are a complete waste of time and you should only go to college if you’re going to take STEM. However, soon after, I get radical and suggest that grade school should be about 80% recess with only a few, curious students doing any real studying. Sure, they should learn to read and write but the rest should be up to the few who really want to learn. Oh, and kids should also have random jobs like building license plates. This new structure would leave a society with only about 5% getting higher education. Good. Now we have way less student debt and way more tradesmen. Insisting everyone is smart is stupid.
We used to read, you'd read the first chapter, the last chapter, and the first and last page of every middle chapter and hope you sort of got it with the crib notes.
And then you'd sit in class and try to write a C essay about Heathcliff and Catherine.
What a total and utter waste of time.
I can't even imagine a situation where my education would have made sense.
Maybe if I was an aristocrat with no legs, And I just stayed in my salon reading Victorian England's books.
Oh, the Romantic era.
Oh, Wordsworth and Coleridge and Yeats and Xanadu did Kubla Khan.
Oh, the literature of Dickens.
Oh, how I'm enriched.
Couldn't I just have got a syllabus off of Amazon from a time machine?
That's all you should do.
Like, say you want to take English literature, do it on your own time.
Read it on your own time.
And, uh... There.
Now you know a bunch of old books.
Old fiction.
I don't even like fiction.
I hate fi- I never, ever read fiction.
I think it's gay, actually.
Why are you in another man's head?
Why don't you stick your tongue in his mouth too, you homo?
You know what I mean?
Especially science fiction.
Oh, there's a planet called Zarados.
And on this planet, the Zirgons, they hate the Chernovians.
What?
You just made up a bunch of stupid names and I'm supposed to go, oh yeah?
Why do they hate the Chernovians?
Tell me more, wise old sage who knows of nothing.
Tell me more of this magical land that you created right now in your head just at a typewriter.
Wow!
Oh, your imagination's so much better than mine.
Tell me more.
Well, actually, it's allegorical, Gavin.
So that book that you're talking about, that space book, it's actually about Helen of Troy.
To which I say, uh, okay, why wouldn't I just read Helen of Troy then?
Is that someone yelling for me, Dave?
No.
Oh.
I had a hallucination, an auditory hallucination.
Um, we have two interns here who are trying to learn about the studio, and I don't want them here.
I don't like interns, I think they're a waste of time.
I will say one thing about education, though.
These stupid losers who are here today trying to learn about the soundboard are learning more than they learn in school.
And that, by the way, is the best school.
That's a technical college.
That's learning a trade.
So I've got some pretty radical views on this.
I'll start with the normal one that you agree with.
College is a total and utter waste of time.
Liberal Arts College is a total waste of time.
I saw a woman who had a, uh, she was at some protest, some Bernie Sanders thing, and she was talking about, you know, I'm $240,000 in debt.
I took speech pathology.
I just want to help people talk.
Wait a minute.
Say you go to NYU, one of the most expensive in the country.
That's 40.
Four years is $1.60.
How'd you get up to $2.40?
Would you go to Italy every summer?
And speech pathology, isn't that just teaching people not to stutter?
I'm sure there's a YouTube video on that.
I bet there's some trick like you sing or something.
I don't know.
Take a Xanax and try talking it, but that solves it.
It can't be that hard.
It can't be four years of, Able was I, I saw Elba, New York City, New York City, New York City.
There, you're cured.
240 grand.
That's a lot of debt for me, and I'm rich.
A 20-year-old with 240 grand?
I mean, just kill yourself.
Jump off a cliff, declare bankruptcy, move to Nepal, and change your name to Sanchu Ruduka.
So, we all agree, right, that liberal arts is a joke?
Like this, look at this sentence I was reading on my show today.
So this is this guy Jamel Bui, and he's talking about how Starbucks is racist because they kick out people for lawyering.
This is the language you learn in liberal arts college.
When one is raced, and you have to see this word to understand what I'm saying, R-A-C-E-D, in quotes.
When one is raced, one is placed in relationship to that hierarchy.
Your position is signed to your body and made visible to the world.
Places, too, can be raced.
Spaces of affluence and exclusivity are typically associated with white faces, reflecting racial distributions of wealth and power.
So you went into college and you learned that Klingon language that not only doesn't make any sense in the real world, but is annoying in the real world.
So if you went to a job at the paper plant, like in the office, and you said, "Hi, Michael." I just wanted to mention that I find this place kind of raced.
Pardon?
Well, I feel like, you know, it's positioned, you know, with my body and how my body is visible to the world.
I feel like there's a lot of affluence and exclusivity here that's typically associated with white faces.
Can you go?
Just leave, you're fired.
Okay, I'm gonna sue you for some sort of ism I'll make up on the way to the suing place.
So, you come out stupider and more annoying than when you went in.
And for that, you're saddled with- I think the average, by the way, the average debt for a student is 40k.
Not 240, but whatever.
It's a boatload of cash when you make- Remember?
We would eat out of the garbage when we were kids.
We were punks and it was considered cool, but still.
240 grand.
That's a lot of dumpster diving.
All right.
So I hope we can establish that liberal arts is ridiculous.
When I was in college, in philosophy, and by the way, Canadians, when we, when us Americans, yes, I've crossed over, say college, it means university.
Same with you Brits.
Everywhere else, college means a trade school and university is the hard one.
Here in America, college means the same, probably because Americans are uneducated.
And they're unable to differentiate between the two.
It's just like a fancy school!
After high school, you go to fancy school!
The kind that was in Animal House!
My professor, Marvin Glass, a communist, head of the Canadian Communist Party at Carleton University, which was one of the worst schools in the country.
It's for stupid people like myself.
He told us it was okay to have an abortion up until a year after the baby is born.
That, by the way, is not an uncommon sentiment in post-secondary education.
So, if you don't mind, I'll be walking over to this baby in a pram while the mother eats a sandwich, and I'm going to smash its face in with a bull-peen hammer, because that is perfectly ethically legitimate.
Mr. Glass told us that the only way you can gauge whether you can kill something or not is if it's human.
And the criteria for human, like, can you recognize me?
Can you communicate?
All of those things that you can come up with for someone that's 11 months old, a monkey can do better.
Ergo, and this is quite a big ergo, this is a Great Lakes sized leap.
Ergo, An 11-month-year-old baby is less human than a monkey.
Okay, so let's just shoot it in the head.
The irony is that develops kids who see puppies as more valuable than humans.
Like, young liberals today, millennial, vegans, whatever, they see the Yulin Dog Festival in China where they eat dogs and they have a heart attack.
They see babies crucified to dining room tables and gang-raped in South Africa and they go, well, those white farmers were asking for it.
I mean, they're only humans, after all.
Why not just rape them to death?
Okay.
Nice values you learned at school, by the way.
That sounds like a great place to go.
Alright, so, established.
Liberal Arts College is for nunces.
I forgot what the word nunce means, but it feels like this is a good place to say it.
Alexa, what does nunce mean?
Oh, you're not here, you're at home.
Now, what about STEM?
Totally valid, obviously.
Although, STEM is starting to get infected by this PC stuff, too.
Especially anthropology.
Anthropology, I wrote an article about this.
About that dude.
What's his name, uh, Napoleon?
Not Napoleon, Napoleon, but Napoleon, uh, the other guy.
Here, I can look it up while I talk.
Uh, tackymag.com, Gavin McInnes.
By the way, Kendrick Lamar gets the Pulitzer Prize for writing I Love Myself.
Why don't I get some kind of prize?
I was writing non-stop from the age of 23 till last year.
At least 3,000 words a week.
Nothing.
Well, Gavin, it's a free market.
Are you saying that you were denied something by the government?
No?
Okay, so you didn't get an award because you're not good.
Fuck you, me!
Uh...
Napoleon.
Fucking Napoleon.
This is a good, this is a good podcast to listen to isn't it?
Welcome to Gavin Typing Anthropology.
Okay.
The article's called Anthropology Gone Wild, and the Napoleon I was talking about was Napoleon A. Chagnon.
And he was a guy who hung out with these, you know, cannibal lunatic aboriginals in the Papua New Guinea or whatever.
He called it Noble Savages, and since then he's been seen as racist for noticing that these people eat each other.
So, a lot of stem is infected.
But math, I assume.
Chemistry, sure.
Although, just to go crazy here, Say you want to be a biochemist, wouldn't it be better to be an intern at a biochemist's plant?
Like, wouldn't it be better to have hands-on experience with the actual beakers in your actual hand?
Charles Murray talks about this in the Curmudgeons Guide to Getting Ahead.
A lot of these CEOs, they see your insane resume with Harvard and Yale and PhDs everywhere.
I think a lot of them go, meh, you're kind of a little ponce.
You're a little spoiled kid.
I like the guy.
I hate baby boomers, but I gotta admit, a lot of their CEOs used to mow lawns at The Place.
Remember the head of Universal Music in Canada?
He used to mow the lawn at Universal, and then he ended up working in the mailroom, and the next thing you know, he's the CEO of the company.
Tower Records, all the top rats used to work there.
So that's appealing.
So I think, and I don't know, but I think it might be better in chemistry and a lot of the sciences just to intern there.
Start out cleaning the lab and then maybe get to do some experiments.
Of course there's a lot of bullshit with these things, like my wife worked at the American Indian Museum and she couldn't move forward because she didn't have a PhD in bullshit.
Her job was just to move some headdresses around and know all about them.
So when someone goes, why'd you put up this spear?
Oh, this is from the, the Algonquin Indians, blah, blah, blah.
They used it in this battle, blah, blah, blah.
You don't need to go to school for that.
Jesus Lord.
But I'm not writing that in stone.
That's not part of this theory.
I'm still defending STEM.
I'm still saying STEM.
And if my kids want to take chemistry, I don't care if it costs a billion dollars.
No problem.
But liberal arts, no.
Alright, so we're all pretty much on the same page, right?
STEM is a yes.
Liberal arts is a no.
Oh, here's another.
Okay, this is where I start to get controversial and I'm gonna lose you.
Back in my dad's day, 5% of people went to secondary education.
This is actually discussed in this podcast's dad episode.
I forget which one it was.
But I think that's about right.
I think 5% of your society is genetically predisposed to be an academic, to be an expert, to be an intellectual.
Now we're at what?
What percentage of people go to school?
My son asked me that this morning actually.
Hey Alexa, I should maybe bring the Alexa to work.
But let me type that in.
What percentage of Americans go to college?
70%.
Now, that's including all the poor, the Midwest, the South, people in shacks.
So, as far as, like, people you and I would bump into, it's probably more like 85%.
But 70% of Americans going to college, that is absolutely insane.
Do we really, like what kind of society, what is this, Socratic Greece?
We have Plato now, we're living in a cave, sitting there pontificating with our big togas on.
70% have to be experts?
Meanwhile, by the way, we have no trades.
And here's another dirty little secret, folks, and this is especially true in New York.
Tradesmen make a ton of cash.
Union electricians, they make a hundred grand a year once they get established.
Cops make a hundred grand a year.
Firemen make a hundred grand a year.
Teachers can get up to a hundred grand.
And they'll tell you, no, no, no, cop's starting salary is 18 grand.
Yeah, you're not supposed to live alone.
You're supposed to live with your parents when you're a rookie cop.
You get up to 40, 50, 60 in no time.
And lawyers and doctors and all these people who are over-educated, they don't get a hundred grand as quick many times.
I know a lot of lawyers in New York that are poorer than a lot of electricians.
So, don't think you're going to get rich just because you took something like accountants, being an accountant or being a lawyer or something.
There's too many of them.
So, uh, STEM is still reliable, but that's probably 5% of the population, and that should be 100% of post-secondary education.
Right?
Alright.
I think you're with me.
So far.
And that, by the way, means thousands and millions of people are not going to college anymore.
But it's such a great experience!
It's the best years of our life!
Yeah, so is getting laid!
I don't want to send you to the laid institution.
I'm not sending my kids to a brothel.
But it feels so good to get a BJ!
No.
Do that on your own time.
That's a hobby.
Um...
I'm getting distracted by all this commotion.
So here's where I get controversial.
Pre-secondary education.
Like my kids.
I took my kid to spring training in Port St.
Lucie.
Yanked him out of school for a week.
There's games on the weekend.
But I liked the games better Monday to Friday.
There was the Nationals and other teams.
The Mets are going to be playing the Astros.
And I thought, yeah, we're going.
We're going during the week.
Yanked him out of school.
Didn't think about it for a second.
I tell my daughter all the time, why don't you and mom go into the city, go see a play or something in the middle of the day.
Who cares about school?
It's stupid.
And even at, you know, my kid's school, it's a nice school.
It's kind of why we moved to the Burbs.
But, um, I think that school does a lot of sort of teaching to the test.
And that is technically A better school, you get better grades, but is it an education?
Like when you talk to a 12 year old and you say, who's George Washington?
They don't, they might go, he was the first president of the United States, like a robot.
They wouldn't say, he's an incredible man, you know?
I mean, really, he is the father, not the founding father, he's the father of America in many ways.
I mean, you know what I can't help but think?
What is it, little kid?
You know, when he fought with the British and he saw Braxton assassinated, basically, in Fort Duquesne by the French and the Indians, you know, ambushing them from the trees, I sort of thought to myself when I was reading about that, I thought, Maybe that's when he decided they could beat the British.
Maybe that's when he decided not to be a victim.
And he said, you know what?
I don't want to fight for the British anymore.
I want to fight with my own people and the Indians from the trees and destroy the British and start America as an independent country.
And then another little kid goes, well, what about the newspapers there, Kevin?
You know, they had all that free press up and down the East Coast.
The Brits encouraged people to debate and have different views.
Maybe eventually, with the First Amendment, they got to the point where they realized through trial and error they were better off solo.
Maybe the Brits brought it on themselves.
Interesting point, other little kid!
And then, of course, in a warrior culture, the biggest chief, the biggest warrior is going to become the first president of the United States.
So to me, you know, you look back at him and by the way, he never had wooden teeth.
You look back at him and you see them as sort of a tyrant and a tough guy.
But that was life back then.
No kid would ever say that in a million years.
They just go, George Washington is the first president of the United States.
It's just a big fucking daycare from zero to... Well, to ever.
I guess that's what I'm saying.
I want to get back to the 1800s.
I'm worse than a curmudgeon.
I'm not just like, I hate these kids with their shower shoes and their goddamn fidget spinners.
I hate these kids that are from this century.
Go back to the 1800s and you should learn to read.
And that was what was so revolutionary about education is we said, why are we just letting the elites read all our documents?
And this goes back not that far.
Like my grandfather's generation, I know my grandfather was quite literate.
I believe he was the head of the Communist Party in his particular division, his council in Glasgow, Scotland.
Not happy about that.
I saw some old letter that I could just see a piece of the letter.
My cousin's going to send me the whole thing soon, but it said, capitalism is a detriment to society.
And the fact that he could write that and think that was a big deal in working-class Glasgow.
He would read all their, you know, the other employees' forms and stuff and letters of eviction and tell them, yeah, you're fucked.
So, we don't want that.
We obviously want a literate working class.
A-literate.
Two words there.
And it's just fun to read.
It's cool to be able to read a book.
So we definitely want that, right?
But you could teach that in no time.
You could teach that in an afternoon.
Why are we spending so many hours?
Like, my kids sometimes won't be able to play.
They'll be out, I'll say, what happened today?
Oh, we were only, recess was only 10 minutes.
Uh, work sess should be 10 minutes.
You should be outside 90% of the day.
So, this is where it gets radical and I'm gonna lose you.
Fuck school.
School's abolished.
Right?
There's a large pen.
It's a giant playground.
So take the school, and you know how the school's most of the area, and then there's the playground?
This is the playground's most of the area, and then there's a little school.
Now, 95% of the kids can just play.
You can play soccer, do whatever you want all day.
I understand that it's going to be cold in the winter up north of the Mason-Dixon line, so we can play basketball inside.
We got a big court.
We can do arts and crafts.
You know, I go to these schools for my son's game, and I see the walls, and it's so much just arts and crafts.
For the first few years.
And there's so much time wasted.
Remember?
We have to do this thing.
Did you guys do this where you do a presentation?
Yeah, this is about the Black Widow Spider.
They are very common in North America, and poisonous, but very few deaths.
And here's a picture of a Black Widow Spider.
I once made a mobile of Black Widow Spiders.
What the fuck was that for?
Some kid's crib?
What, how did I learn more about Black Widow Spider's butt?
It was just like, when you did these presentations, the more stuff you had, the better?
Okay, here's a Black Widow made out of pipe cleaners.
Now do I, am I smarter?
And then you do that stupid presentation that sucked.
And the teacher, who's doing crossword puzzles all day, by the way, I hate teachers, that's a big part of this.
Because it's a socialist system where they can't get fired.
And when you're in any workforce where you can't get fired, you suck.
That's why charter schools, where they get paid less, do way better.
Because these teachers know they can get fired.
So they like it more.
You don't want to play Monopoly when you're always gonna win.
That's not fun.
So... It's a giant playground.
And you do whatever you want.
You don't even have to learn how to read until maybe you're seven or eight.
And then yeah, we should come in and read.
Just so you can like read a book about baseball if you're into baseball and stuff.
You can have more fun.
But there's going to be nerds and there's going to be guys who don't want to play.
Well, what we do with them is we say, what are you interested in?
And you can sort of feel it out pretty quickly with kids.
People always act like there's gray areas with kids.
You don't know kids.
It's very clear what's going on.
When you watch a baseball game, there's four kids that rule that have a bright future in this game.
And then there's another 32 that suck shit and have no future.
It's not like there's some that are sort of good.
And there's two who have MLB potential.
You know, the odds are still a fraction of a percent that they'll actually make the MLB, but you go, these guys are totally different than those guys.
Especially with kids' basketball.
There's that one kid who just goes up and down the court, scoring, scoring, scoring.
He's the winner.
Similarly, there's a kid who's into sharks.
All right, come here.
And we have these experts.
These philosophers who take you to the shark books and they teach you math via sharks, and those would probably be the 5%.
We educate those 5% because it's natural.
You see, all of this is already laid out, like with potty training.
With the first two kids, we had the little book, Hey, Elmo Takes a Shit.
I think that's what it was called.
And you'd go through it page by page, try this, and they would end up, you know, shitting in a toilet at like three.
Then, with my youngest one, I went, ah, whatever, he'll figure it out.
Guess what?
Exact same age.
He saw everyone else pooing in toilets, because we don't have doors in our house, and he went, alright, I'm just going to poo in the toilet.
I want to be- I don't like diapers, they're for kids.
And I think that happens in everything.
So when we stick them in a classroom, and my kids are doing classes like- tests for like four hours.
Straight.
What is this?
Gale?
I don't think it's natural.
And it's not like they come and they have this sort of academic tone after.
It's not like they come out and they say, you know, I was thinking recently, you know, the Civil War, it's always about, oh, slavery, slavery, slavery.
But then I'm sort of, dad, I have to be frank with you.
I'm haunted by this quote from Lincoln, where he said, if he could maintain the union without freeing one single slave, then he would do it.
Now, this isn't a throwaway comment said at the tavern.
This is something he said in public, in the house.
And I can't help, Daddy, I can't help but think that one looming sentence, that concept, that sword of Damocles that hangs over the entire war, does it not negate the slavery narrative?
Whoa, shit, you really been studying, boy?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I think about that too sometimes.
No.
In fact, I wasn't even interested in that kind of stuff after I graduated college.
It's around 28 or 29 that I started going, so what's going on with this Civil War thing?
What was that about?
Then my 30s, I started reading books about history and stuff.
And now in my 40s, I'm that guy where I sit down with dad and I say, what are we doing in Syria?
Well, Gavin, the American government knows every single flight globally.
So if there was a gas attack and they could see planes coming from A to B, and B was where the attack was, if it was clear that the chemicals came from planes, then they can track that flight and validate whether it was a chemical attack or not, and then just bomb that plant.
By the way, in all Eh, okay.
I don't care if kids are being gassed.
Sorry.
I don't care about the world.
FTW.
That's my tattoo.
Fuck the world.
So yeah, you really just get curious as you get older.
That's when you want to get academic.
And what do you want to do when you're a kid?
Play.
You know what else they should do?
Work.
Now I know I've lost you all.
And that's fine.
We're not getting married.
But they should have jobs.
They should play and also have a factory in the school making license plates.
I know this sounds very similar to prison, but prisoners only get an hour out a day.
I'm talking about five hours.
Playing, sports, arts and crafts.
It should just be a giant party!
Now they can't stay here because we're at work.
Although mom should be home.
But a mom and a kid all day, she goes nuts.
And plus, they're fucking hyper.
You ever played with a kid?
They can just go!
Like a kid... Kids, we play these baseball games two in a row.
It's freezing cold.
Winds blowing, dust storms.
The kids are there at 8am.
Both games are finally over by 4.
They don't want to go home.
They want to keep partying.
Now, you sit them in the house and you put them in front of a video game, that's crack cocaine.
Where, for decades, millions of genius nerds have been sitting there going, how can I make this video game the most crack, you know, brain-enhancing, super, uh, uh, endorphin-releasing masterpiece?
Well, if I do this, this, this, and this, then people get addicted.
So that's different.
That's like saying, people like being in crack houses, there's just something about the indoors.
No, there's drugs in there.
So I know kids are happy to stay in when they have video games.
And no, there'd be no video games at these schools.
But there would be jobs.
Kids love jobs.
Paper Roots, they're good at it too.
And...
I think one of the reasons these millennials are so completely useless and sitting on the couch is they had their economic libido killed by illegal aliens.
Illegal immigrants cleaned the pools, did the lawn work, collected the bills.
See the beauty, I had jobs like cleaning pools and mowing lawns and all that, shoveling driveways.
The beauty of that job, a big part of it is debt collection.
You realize that the McAllisters, everyone with a mick is cheap.
We didn't have a lot of Jews in Canada.
But when you see a mick, you go, oh great, I really gotta hound this guy.
And you learn little tricks, like if you call every day at 8.30, again and again and again, they get sick of this literal wake-up call.
And eventually, they just pay you the money.
And that's what all retail is.
That's what all business is.
I don't care if you're the Washington Post or Amazon.
Still, collecting from your vendors, getting your bills in, factoring in the fact that some people won't pay, that's a huge part of being an entrepreneur.
It's a huge part of being a man.
And we took that away from our children by coddling them and letting foreigners do all the jobs.
So that's sick and wrong.
They should be working.
They shouldn't be in coal mines like the Industrial Revolution where we had eight-year-olds a hundred feet down.
But they're silly little jobs they can do.
It gives them self-worth.
What kind of ages am I talking here?
Good question.
All right.
So, no alphabet or nothing for one, two, three, four, five, 6, 7.
Just arts and crafts, and fun, and making cookies, and drawing, and playing soccer outside until you're 7.
Still same hours though, because people have to work.
At the age of 7, you have to learn how to read and write.
And you have to be reading a book at all times.
Still, playing 80% of the day is play.
That's 7, 8, 9, 10.
7, 8, 9, 10. 10, 11.
You still have to read.
If you're curious, i.e.
part of that 5% will take you aside and teach you about sharks and cars and whatever you're interested in, math.
I'm sure 1% will be naturally drawn to math.
You can't, all this crap about, here's a, we have a poster, it's Bloomberg's new campaign, women, girls in math, and they have a unicorn in a pink dress with two plus two on its fucking face.
That's not how people get attracted to math.
This whole lie about role models, I saw a black surgeon on a TV show and now I want to be a black surgeon.
I didn't know.
They call it a see it to be it.
Bullshit.
You're attracted to math because you're attracted to math.
My dad was attracted to math.
I was forced to take math in college and I might as well have been forced to suck dicks.
It was just not happening.
And I've always said that about gays, like, the whole idea.
Margaret Cho has a bit about this where she says, if you think gay is something you can become, uh, you're gay.
And I've always said, the first dick I ever sucked would be like... Dry heaving.
And then, the 999th would be... Exactly the same.
dry heaving, and then the 999th would be exactly the same.
And that's the way it was with math.
It was just blowing dudes.
999 dudes.
That's what mathematics is.
It is so fucking, excuse the analogy, it is so hard taking calculus and algebra in college.
I was not meant to be, I had to have a pot of coffee, a huge breakfast, sit at the very front, hold my eyes like golf balls, and then the second I didn't know what was going on, arm up.
What do you mean the derivative?
3x plus y cubed?
It's spun about the z-axis?
Okay, where's the z-axis again?
Oh, that's what, okay.
Why would you spin a function around the z-axis?
Oh, to get its surface area?
Okay.
Can't you just like dip it in water and measure the water that's displaced?
Wouldn't that be easier than literally three pages of notes?
It was so hard that your exam, your finals, would be a question.
A question.
It'd take you three hours and it would be seven pages.
It would be like 3x plus y cubed spun about the z-axis.
No thanks.
Still have nightmares about it.
Decades later.
About having to tell my dad I'm dropping out of math.
Anyway, sorry, that's a tenure.
My point is that the people that are in that math class are naturally meant to be there and they will end up there no matter what.
You know, I think it's good to introduce kids to a lot of stuff.
I sent my son to drum lessons, my daughter guitar lessons, my daughter field hockey, all this other stuff, animation class, drawing, a million different things.
And finally, baseball just stuck to my son like venom in Spider-Man.
Now he just is a baseball.
My daughter, she seems to be really getting into softball.
And my son, T-ball.
I don't know if that's a... I heard American Indians are really into softball, so maybe it's a genetic thing, but... But the point is that when you try to force something on someone, like, all children should have a wide balance of education.
They should take math, history, geography.
I say no.
That's the controversial part of this podcast.
No, you shouldn't.
No, you don't need to know history, geography, all this stuff.
We don't all need this.
We don't all need to be educated.
That was the Barack Obama bullshit.
We live in a country where there's a bunch of people who aren't in college.
Let's get them in college!
Get them free education!
Education!
Education!
You know what that's based on?
That myth?
It's based on boomers and previous generations where they went, look, these guys are all poor because of the Industrial Revolution, whatever.
This is back when the working class weren't rich like they are today.
And these people are wealthy.
What's the difference?
Well, these people had an education.
The rich people, the Rockefellers, had an education.
They went to Harvard.
These poor people didn't.
These poor black people.
So let's get the black people into Harvard and then we'll all be Rockefellers.
No.
The Rockefellers just happened to go to college.
It's not college that made them rich.
Smart people go to college the same way that guitarists want to jam with other guitarists.
It's not the jamming that made them good.
It's the fact that they were born with a predilection for learning to play an instrument.
Well, I took guitar lessons.
Not happening.
Way too hard.
I still don't even get it.
I still don't get how you can touch the string without your finger touching the other string that's right next to it.
I would need like an inch per string.
My guitar, the fret arm thing, would be as wide as the bottom guitar.
It would just be one big plank of wood.
That I can understand.
Maybe.
Because I'm not naturally predisposed to do it.
So, Whether you like what I'm saying or not, the schools already are a fake daycare.
They already are a joke.
So I'm saying we accept that and let the kids play more.
Why are they sitting, learning these stupid lists, this dumb crap?
Even like... This is good schools.
You should see the public schools in New York.
What my kids were subjected to at PS84.
My lord!
My kid got a post-it note that said, you're awesome.
Y-O-U-R awesome.
Another time, my other kid got a note back.
She did her homework with markers.
It said, no merkers.
M-E-R-K-E-R-S.
If you write merkers for the word markers, you're not used to looking at words.
Like same with you're awesome.
If you read a lot, that looks unusual to you.
If you never, ever read and you just watch a telenovela, then it doesn't look unusual to you.
So that's urban public schools, but even the fancy schools, when I hear what they're doing, I just go, what?
Why?
You know, there's no... And these teachers who are basically communists because they've been doing the same crap forever.
They got these massive unions kissing their ass and telling them they're special and they're better than everybody which is why they hate Trump so much and they're so bitchy.
Teachers are bitchy, male and female.
The reason they have that ego and they don't think they should ever be fired is because of these unions.
Teachers unions have more money on Capitol Hill than the NRA, all other lobbies combined.
All they do is spend tons and tons of my money.
And by the way, everyone who talks about how teachers are poor, yeah, that's because they take off four months of the year.
They make about $60 an hour when you factor in the actual hours actually worked.
No, they work on their curriculum.
No, they don't.
That's a lie.
All summer, they're getting ready for September.
No, they're not.
I see them on the lake.
They're water skiing.
And we've been spending more and more and more per student.
I think we're up to like $1,000 a month per student.
$12,000 a year.
In other states, like New York, I think it's $20,000 a year we spend.
Guess what's happened to test scores in the past 50 years?
Fuck all.
They haven't budged.
They're just a horizontal line.
Now they say, well that's because the administration is taking all the money.
No, it's because throwing money at a problem doesn't solve the problem.
And the problem is, being an academic, being an intellectual, being a pontificator, it's a rare trait.
It's like being a musician or a comedian.
Or a dancer or something.
Or a pro athlete.
And I don't think that intellectuals are better than other people.
When I think of the people I like to hang out with, most of them are dumb.
I think intelligence is overrated.
And the idea that intelligence is something that can be acquired, that is also a huge myth.
I think it's like creativity.
It's a genetic trait.
And we have this strange culture where we put all this onus on creativity and intellect and pretend they're magic.
And then, Pretend that we can acquire that magic.
It's two huge, stupid assumptions with no background.
I went to a Red Bull seminar back when I was in advertising and we were recording them.
And by the way, that was two years of courtship that went nowhere, millennials.
You can actually work hard for something and not get it.
That happens in the real world.
And it was like a two-day seminar on hacking creativity, it was called.
And all they talked about were studies that investigated creativity.
But no examples of how to hack it, and no one would answer me this question, but why did you assume it's hackable in the first place?
Now take that premise and expand it to education.
Why are you assuming intelligence is something that can be acquired and why should it be acquired?
What's the matter with the trade?
What's the matter with welding?
I saw a great video recently where this guy was talking about Millennials and he said, the problem with them is they go, this isn't my dream job and they quit.
And he said, you can actually make a lot out of any job.
Say you're an intellectual and you're, you're working at Tower Records, you know, if you're smart, eventually you come up with, I have a better plan for organizing these records.
And then you can say, let's do this with all the chains.
It's really effective.
The next thing you know, you've made stacking records an intellectual pursuit.
Same with being a cop.
I want my son to be a cop.
My wife goes, no, I don't want him seeing all that gore and living that horrible life.
I go, being a cop's what you make it.
You do your homework, you're a detective in no time.
You do that homework, now you're in the top brass, lieutenants, chiefs.
You know, to be the police captain these days is just a bunch of ribbon-cutting.
That's what, whatever you want it to be, it can be.
So, it's not the job, it's how you handle the job.
I'm sure you can get intellectual about welding.
So, the moral of the story of this episode is...
Drop out of school.
I saw Ben Shapiro.
Someone asked him, my teachers are all communists and lefties, and if I write anything reasonable or patriotic or even libertarian, I'll get an F. And he said, lie, become a communist, get A's, then get out and get rich, and then crush them.
First of all, how do you crush them?
You buy a bulldozer and ram it into their house?
You're not going to crush them.
They won't remember you.
You're gone.
I say, be honest, write a good essay, get an F, and get kicked out of school.
Same with your job.
I can't say what you say or I'll get fired.
Do you know how many times I've been fired?
Yeah, but you can afford it.
Yeah, but I built that fortune.
From scratch.
So get fired.
Get kicked out of school.
Don't take- Shapiro's wrong.
Don't become a communist and get A's.
Be honest and be, you know, have a modicum of rigor, as Steven Pinker from Harvard said.
And present your arguments deftly and succinctly and thoroughly.
And it doesn't matter what they say.
You'll die with your boots on.
That's the American way.
That's the Western way.
Dying with your boots on.
And then... Actually, don't even go to... Don't go to college unless it's STEM.
Be an intern.
Be an annoying intern like the ones in my office today.
And just learn hands-on.
Most of these businesses move so fast.
Like, look at the newspaper industry, or the magazine industry, or media in general.
It seems to be changing on a daily basis.
You think you can cover that in school?
I have no idea how economics is taught.
How do they teach business in school?
The textbooks, are the textbooks all magic Harry Potter textbooks that change their text every day?
Because the economy of last week seems to be completely unrelated to the economy of today.
No, but it's the same patterns, man.
It goes back to gold and stones and the cave days.
Fuck you.
No, it doesn't.
Bitcoin changes on a daily basis.
I still don't know if I regret buying it or not.
So yeah.
You agree with me that liberal arts is a total waste of time and it's child abuse to send your kid there.
That's just a fact.
STEM being the only thing you should take in college, I agree.
Although I think there might even be an argument for not taking STEM and that may even be a better thing to be an intern at.
Can't validate that because I'm too dumb to know really what STEM is.
Like, I can't really tell you what an engineer learns all day.
Math?
Then it gets controversial because previous to that, high school and below, I become a radical.
And my radical belief is they'd be better off just playing.
5% should learn.
Everyone should learn to read, but 5% should, you know, really pursue things because they're nerds and they're not athletic.
They won't enjoy playing.
They probably are autistic.
And they should also, this is where it gets really weird, work.
I mean, I'm not talking about working on the chain gang, but there should be a little thing that generates a profit.
License plates, whatever.
Some sort of factory.
Some sort of cheap manufacturing.
The parents can opt out, obviously.
I'm not talking about laws.
I'm just saying it should be introduced as an option.
I bet all the kids would love it.
I bet they'd love if they were building keychains for an hour a day or something.
And they'd learn about business.
Anyway, those are my radical beliefs and I brought them up on the show because I can't stop thinking about them.
This isn't just like, wouldn't it be funny to wear shorts in the winter?
This is like, we'd all be better off if we wore shorts in the winter.
The world would be drastically improved.
That's how I feel about this thing.
It's not a quirky concept.
It's the elephant in the room.
It's sort of like I was saying in the last podcast about makeup.
I know for a fact that Fox News or no, no news stations need makeup, and the makeup is making the men look weird.
Lou Dobbs looks like a peach vagina.
Men have, you know, scruff and age spots and stuff.
When you powder it off, you make everyone look fucking weird.
So I know this to be true, and it haunts me.
And I know education, 95% of it is a complete waste of time, and it's making our kids' lives less fun.
Kids should be riffing and partying.
Anyway, more of this is discussed in depth at CRTV.com.
Please subscribe to my show.
You get $10 off if you put in the secret code GAVIN.
There's a ton of shows on CRTV.com, way more than you could watch.
In a day.
And a huge variety of shows, including funny shows like mine, serious shows like Mark Levin, soothing, groovy shows like Phil Robertson, plenty of young people, roaming millennial, millennial conservative, that rant dude is good, Stephen Crowder.
I mean, it goes on and on and on.
And the fact that you don't want to get it when it costs two beers a month, I find profoundly confusing.
I can't afford it!
Really?
You can't afford $10 a month?
That's not true.
Bums spend $10 a day on vodka.
So you're just lying.
It's amazing how many people come up to me in the streets.
