If you don't want it to be expensive, these is bad bottoms.
These is bloody shoes.
Hit the spook, I can get them both.
I don't want it tools, and I'm quick.
Cut a nigga off, so don't get comfortable.
Look, I don't dance now, I make money move.
Say, I don't gotta dance, I make money move.
If I that's a trashy stripper named Cardi B, who's probably the most popular rapper in the world right now, very popular with chicks.
Chicks love gangster rap.
I think after killing testosterone, they miss it, so they yearn for it and they get it in gangster rap.
And they see it at work, too.
Like, I swear to God, if he doesn't have that PDF to me by Friday, I'm gonna bust a cap in his ass.
Yo, what's up, girl?
And they like Cardi B because Cardi B is easy to rap to.
She's not like tongue twister or bust of rhymes where you gotta say a bunch of stuff fast.
You know what I mean?
What bitch's working as hard as me?
I don't bother with these hoes.
Don't let these hoes bother me.
They see pictures.
They say gross.
Bitch, I'm who they trying to be.
Look, I might just kill him some bait.
Pretty easy.
Now, Cardi B is in the news because we've learned some things about her butt that is dominating the news cycle.
Excuse me, it's fake.
She had butt injections, which I don't get butt injections.
I mean, boobs just sit there on your chest, and we'll talk about boobs in a second, but a butt, don't you sit on a butt a lot?
Like, don't you sit on a hard bench with your butt?
Aren't they gonna pop or something?
It seems like they take a beating like a nose job.
At least your nose sits on your face.
It doesn't get, imagine you went like this to your nose about 50 times a day.
Anyway, the guy she got her butt injections from is quite famous here in New York for doing it in his garage in the Bronx.
And of course, killing people.
I don't know if you're familiar with this whole phenomenon, but cheap butt injections exist.
People want to scrimp and save when it comes to getting a fake butt.
And sometimes they'll just put like insulation foam in there.
I'm not kidding.
Just whatever they can find around the house and just inject it into a butt.
How twisted and depraved?
How low IQ can you get?
Seriously.
Can you just put some insulation foam in my butt cheeks?
I want to be gorgeous.
No problem.
Oh, you're dying.
Bye.
So that's fascinating.
Also, speaking of naked ladies of color, we recently had a topless woman storm the Cosby trial.
Now, she shows up.
I think there should be some video of that, Dave.
Which you should have prepared in advance, by the way.
The interesting thing I find about this is, isn't Cosby done?
Like, what are you protesting?
Didn't he lose his marriage, his livelihood, his legacy, his career?
Isn't he pretty much persona non grata in the Western world?
Like, what do you want?
Like, this is what I don't get about protesters, and I say this about the Second Amendment all the time.
What exactly do you want?
Do you want Cosby to have to pay for his crimes?
I'm pretty sure he is.
And most of these are past the statute of limitations, so we're doing pretty good for catching an ancient rapist.
What's some of the video there?
Oh, we're censoring her boobs.
Now, one thing interesting with this, you won't see this in this video, she has fantastic breasts.
You'll notice protesters that don't have nice breasts tend to not go topless.
I'm not sure there's exceptions.
Yes, yes, yes!
So what does she want?
What's he going to do?
Just laugh, I guess.
God, if I was Bill Cosby, I would be getting drunk 24 hours a day.
Imagine the stress.
I know it's hard to elicit sympathy for rapists, but I think that's something we all have.
Like, I'll be watching America's Most Wanted, and it could be some murderer or bankroll, but I'm just go, run, run.
Oh, you're in trouble now?
Oh, boy.
That con man is really in trouble now after ripping off 10,000 people.
Poor guy.
By the way, I was looking at the still shots of this woman, and I was reminded of something.
Can you see what I'm reminded of?
Show, let's see a picture of her.
No, not that one.
There, that one.
It looks exactly like Maggot Brain, the Funkadelic album.
See?
Anyone remember Maggot Brain?
It's just Eddie Hazel noodling away on guitar.
This is back in the, I don't know, 70s when you could just fart around at the studio for like Marvin Gaye's song that's 13 minutes long of just a party.
You can hear people doing Coke in the background.
You know what this looks like?
This looks like the woman who attacked Cosby is now being punished under Sharia law and will be buried up to her neck and then stoned to death.
Not with marijuana, but with rocks.
All right, what else?
Most important news of the day, of course.
Donald Trump's lawyer's office stormed because of Stormy.
Yes, there are allegations that he slept with a porn star 10 years ago.
So all justice, all laws, all constitutional laws, all attorney client privilege must be revoked because the president, before he was president, may have had sex with a porn star.
And that's the news.
Breaking, CNN, breaking news.
I'm really starting to dislike the FBI.
They knew about the Parkland shooter.
Nah, don't worry about it.
We find out that the Pulse shooter's father was an FBI informant.
Hey, you guys, did you notice your informant's son is a terrorist?
Did you pick that up?
Or what about Pamela Geller in Texas, Galveston, Texas, when those two guys came to kill her?
I believe both those guys were already being followed by the FBI.
Yet it took a private security guard that Pamela hired to stop them from murdering her and countless others.
Not countless, probably 20 others.
And her guy had to kill these terrorists because the FBI wasn't doing it.
But the president has sex with a porn star.
Boom!
We got him.
All right, I'd like to start with some fluff, keep it light.
Today on the show, we have a woman claiming to be Donald Trump's love child.
That should dominate the CNN news cycle for a while.
She's got a movie she wants to put out about Harvey Weinstein, and we also have a video of her beating up Nazis because she's a mixed martial arts expert who looks gorgeous while she beats up these literal Nazis, not just the kind of Nazi that they throw around at people like me and you.
I mean, an actual member of the Nazi party.
But briefly before that, we're going to talk to Ezra Levant about, I don't know what to call it.
I want to call it right-wing censorship because they just kicked Owen Benjamin off all his platforms, and he's not right-wing.
He's just normal.
So non-liberal censorship.
The fascists here in the West have set their sights on the moderate right, the new right, the whatever, the normal right, the fiscally conservative, socially liberal types, because we're too appealing, and we might get young people, and that will lead to them losing votes.
Ooh, I don't like how the collar does that.
Collar should go all the way out the whole way.
You'll notice, by the way, my outfit evolves in subtle ways throughout the show.
That's for you.
That's a separate narrative, a separate storyline that you can follow if you're deaf and obsessed with couchre mantles.
But yeah, Syria.
No, we're not going to war in Syria.
We already handled Syria last year.
There was a questionable gas attack, so what did we do?
We had a fireworks display and an abandoned air hangar, blew out some useless garbage after everyone had been warned, and now we're done.
Now, the left, of course, wants us to go to war with Assad because it would make Putin mad.
And they want to prove that Trump and Putin are not friends.
Trump and Putin are not friends.
They don't call each other.
They don't hang out.
There was no collusion.
And the fact that you want basically al-Qaeda to take over Syria just to spite Trump shows that you're a bitter, evil, horrible, spiteful monster of a human being.
You'd let more children die, assuming children died.
We have no proof of these gas attacks.
Yeah, but we have pictures and video.
Yeah, ever heard of Pollywood?
The days of seeing a picture of a dead kid and knowing it was true are long gone.
So we did a gesture last year towards Syria, made some fireworks, didn't hurt anyone.
That's done now.
We are not going to war over there.
Even if there was dead kids, we're not going to war.
We are not the world's keeper.
And to get involved in Syria, to depose Assad, I mean, we saw how well it went in Iran, right?
Deposing leaders in the Middle East.
Look at Saddam Hussein.
Was it fun deposing him?
Is Iraq Hiroshima today?
No.
So don't get involved in the Middle East unless you absolutely have to, and we absolutely do not have to.
All right.
That's my serious piece on Syria.
Basically just stole it from Tucker Carlson.
You can check his viral videos about it.
He knows way more about this stuff than I do.
But let's talk to Ezra Levant and then the breathtakingly gorgeous Donna Trump Lova.
And then, you know, end with a stupid video.
The Rebel was knocked off the internet this weekend, most of Sunday, and most of Monday morning, too.
Just gone.
Vaporized.
That's Ezra Levant, the founder of Rebel Media, my old boss.
And he's talking about what's likely a technical glitch, but he's been hammered by YouTube, Facebook, every social media platform.
His venue, his company, is being censored.
And they're being censored by big government and big business together as a team.
And this is relevant to all of us because we are at war here.
This is a culture war.
And we keep playing nice, we keep playing fair.
And they say, you can't be on TV.
Outside of Fox News, we didn't have any TV venues.
So we went over to talk radio.
And then they said, you know, you can't do newspapers.
So they shut down various conservative newspapers.
Or you have someone like Jeff Bezos who buys the Washington Post and makes it a platform for his leftist agenda, his anti-Trump agenda.
They keep pushing us off into the corners, the nooks and crannies of society.
And then we say, well, we'll use social media.
And then we rise up, and the next thing you know, they have Trump, they have Brexit, they have all these populist movements.
So now they want to shut down social media.
They want to shut down the internet.
And I've noticed their enemies are not David Duke and Richard Spencer and American Renaissance on the far, far right.
They don't like me.
They don't like you.
They don't like Owen Benjamin, Milo Yiannopoulos, Gateway Pundit, Cassandra Fairbanks.
They don't like people who like Paul Joseph Watson, Infowars.
They don't like people on the moderate right because those people are appealing, especially young people.
And that's a kiss of death in an election.
Now, I don't like complaining.
I don't like whining.
We have the free market on our side.
We have the majority of the population on our side.
So it's unacceptable that we would be losing.
And that's going to become more than unacceptable when Trump runs for a second term.
So I'm having Ezra on the show, and even though he's technically competition, I'm having Ezra on the show to show you what a fighter looks like.
Because this guy is not going to take it lying down.
He fought the law in Canada and won.
And now he is fighting this war on free speech.
And he'll develop his own app.
He will develop his own platforms.
He will keep fighting as we all should.
I'm going to have Owen Benjamin on the show later on in the week to talk about this because he's still fighting the good fight.
I also, by the way, I'm off at a tangent now, but Austin Peterson, I'm going to have him on the show because he brought up a good solution to all this.
He said, We have to stop sitting down and saying, All right, yeah, let's do bump stocks with the Second Amendment.
Like, let's okay, we'll rule out that law.
You know, this sort of Camp David compromise where we give you an inch and you take a mile.
No, we have to go take the fight to them.
So, instead of saying, we'll help you get rid of bump stocks, we have to say, no, we want machine guns back.
We want handguns in New York City and Chicago and all these liberal cities.
We want to take the fight to you.
We want our own Israeli settlements within the Second Amendment law.
You know, gay marriage, gays didn't want to get married.
They wanted to fight you about gay marriage.
So let's fight back and fight them.
Let's get their websites shut down.
Let's get them kicked off of Facebook.
Let's get them fired.
It's time to take the low road.
Anyway, if you want to know the kind of person who is in the middle of this battle and who always seems to come out on top, let's check out Ezra Levant, who is in the eye of the storm.
Ezra Levant, are you there, sir?
I am.
How you doing?
Wonderful.
Now, I saw your site was down last week, and we don't know if that was a political move or just a technical glitch.
Well, we didn't know at first either because it was down for almost a full day.
We're hosted by a site called Nation Builder, and they assure us it wasn't just us, it was other sites on their network.
And so I take that at face value.
But it was a bit of a fright because I remember about seven months ago, we were taken offline for three full days, and it wasn't a technical glitch.
It was a political act by something called a DNS server, a domain name service server, who made a political statement that they did not want to be involved with our company.
I had never even heard the words DNS server in my life before.
Apparently, it's a thing.
It's a deep internet infrastructure that we're going to be able to do.
It's going to crash your site.
Yeah, I mean, when you type in a word like crtv.com, that's translated into numbers and then it's rooted to your website.
That's sort of a layman's explanation of it.
So the DNS server basically said to us, we don't like you anymore.
We are going to kick you off of our system in 24 hours.
By the way, the clock started six hours ago.
Good luck.
He would be like your phone company calling you up and saying, hey, we don't like what you're saying on our phone lines.
So we're going to change your phone number in 18 hours.
Oh, let all your friends know.
And we're not going to have a voicemail up if people call.
That's what they did to us.
So we were knocked off the internet for three days, almost killed us.
That's not what happened this time, but I tell you, I sure had a fright.
And I don't know if they're going to come for us in such a direct way when they come for us.
I think it's going to be more quiet and stealthy, throttling our traffic, demonetizing our videos.
But our story is not unique.
This is what they're doing across the internet.
If they can take on Diamond and Silk, those two pro-Trump high-energy ladies, if they can take on people who are that mainstream and that inoffensive, they can take on anyone.
Well, I was going to say this isn't the first time they've come for us.
And when I say us, I agree with you.
I mean everyone.
I think what's happening here is, first of all, they pushed us out of mainstream TV.
And by us, I mean conservatives.
And we were forced to sort of start our own enclave called Talk Radio.
And then we realized social media is available, Facebook and YouTube, those are for the people.
So we got on those and got Trump elected.
And I think they're saying now, we can't even give these guys, you know, the poor man's media because they infiltrate it and they make it too effective.
So now we've got moderates like Owen Benjamin getting kicked off YouTube, you know, Milo, Sargon of McCaddy kicked off of Twitter.
Everyone's getting booted off Facebook.
You have Justin Trudeau up in Canada saying, you better fix your fake news problem or we're going to fix it for you.
They really are out to say, it's Stalinist, really.
Yeah, it's worse than government censorship, and let me tell you why.
About a decade ago, I published the Danish cartoons of Mohammed in a print magazine.
That's for your younger viewers, that's something that they used to make out of paper, and you would carry it around and look at it like a smartphone, but it was not interactive.
How was it used?
How would you turn it off?
Well, that's the thing.
You would throw it down and it would make a sound, thud.
And most people didn't sleep with them in their beds or use them.
You couldn't use it as an alarm clock.
It was really a weird thing.
Anyhow, so this was just at the beginning of the century.
That's why your viewers wouldn't know what it was.
But it was anyway.
So I had this paper, let's call it a paper iPhone.
Okay?
So I published the Danish cartoons of Muhammad, and some Muslim extremists complained about me to the Human Rights Commission, which is something they have in Canada.
So I was put through a 900-day process where government employees interrogated me and prosecuted me.
Eventually they dropped it, but not before putting me through the ringer.
But at least I could know who the complainant was, read the complaint, answer my side of the story, know the rules.
Now they were all rigged against me.
It was very unfair, but at least there was a process, a system.
I could see what was happening.
There was political accountability of some sort.
That's censorship through a government.
Dumb, slow, abusive, Kafka-esque, but at least you know it's happening.
When you are censored through Facebook, YouTube, Google, Twitter, Amazon, Netflix, whatever, first of all, you don't know it's really happening unless something shocking, like you're taken off the internet.
You don't know who the complainant is.
It's anonymous.
You don't know what the rules are.
They're not written.
You have no appeal.
You have no notice.
You have no warning.
There is no accountability.
It is worse in many ways.
And half the time, you don't even know it's happening.
You just suddenly your traffic is throttled down and you don't know why.
Did I do something wrong?
Am I not interesting anymore?
No.
You've been marginalized and you have no idea who's doing it to you.
But here's who's doing it to you.
Governments are outsourcing their censorship to the Facebooks, Twitters, Google's, YouTubes of the world.
And this is not a conspiracy theory on my part.
If you look, a couple years ago, the European Union signed a protocol with four major tech companies - Facebook, YouTube, Google, Microsoft, and Twitter, that they would be in charge of censoring the European Union, especially Germany.
So the German government got those four tech companies to censor for them.
And look what happened.
There was no debate in the German parliament.
There was no challenge in German courts.
There was no hearings or committees in German democracy, because it was all a private, contracted-out deal.
And now the nuts and bolts of it are being done in Silicon Valley by social justice warriors you'll never meet.
So do you see why it's worse?
If Germany would have tried to censor Germans the same way I believe Facebook and Google, Netflix, YouTube, whatever is censoring us, not Netflix, censoring us in North America, it would be exposed to the light of day.
It would be subject to public scrutiny.
The spooky part is they're saying we tried that.
We tried telling you why we're censoring you.
We tried going by the books and you outsmarted us and were successful again.
So now we have to play dirtier pool in order to win.
And it's frustrating because I don't like being a complainer.
I don't like being a whiner.
But I see you guys get attacked on YouTube.
You've gone down to what at YouTube?
Have your YouTube videos been affected by this?
Yeah, I mean, we've never had more subscribers.
We passed the 900,000 mark, but the traffic per video, it used to be anyone, not even just, I mean, we have talent of different levels, but even our most junior green talent, if they would do a video, it would almost never get less than 20,000 views, and quite often 50,000, 100,000.
And our big stars, like you, our favorite alumnus, you would often get a quarter million.
You had several videos over the million mark.
Now, our typical videos get 10,000 views, even though we have 900,000 subscribers.
You see what I mean?
Yeah, and our monetization, it's not even there.
We were making, and I don't mind sharing this with you, you know, just after, we were growing at 8% a month.
Our revenues were on track for a million bucks a year through YouTube alone.
That's enough to pay a lot of salaries.
I remember they were, and I don't mind telling you this information because it, you know, we were doing so well.
We made 65 grand, I remember, in January 2017.
And then the next month it fell by 85%.
And I thought, well, hang on, our traffic didn't fall by 85%.
In fact, our traffic was better than, it was great.
They simply decided to demonetize us and the Paul Joseph Watsons and all the, as you said, Silicon Valley said, whoa, we didn't even see Brexit coming.
We totally missed Trump.
It was us that did it.
Let's starve these conservatives of ad money.
And in the case of Facebook, I think you know this, Gavin, they shut down 30,000 Marine Le Pen Facebook pages in France in the month before the French election.
They claimed they were fake accounts.
Really?
See, if that was the government doing it, we'd have notice and proof and process.
But Mark Zuckerberg just pushed a button and 30,000 Marine Le Pen websites were deleted.
And we have to take his word for it that they were bad or something.
The PC market has become so fascist that we're actually looking back at government censorship going, those were the good old days.
Remember the good old days when the Canadian Human Rights Commission oppressed you?
You know what?
I used to be a libertarian, as I think a lot of right-wingers were, when things were simpler and everyone was dealing in good faith.
I think in the era of Trump, libertarianism doesn't work anymore.
And Trump in some ways is proving that himself.
I mean, look at on the economic side and the trade side.
He's breaking purist libertarian economic policy with his tough response to China on trade.
And he's actually getting more free trade by being a protectionist tough guy than all the Milton Friedman-style purism.
And I would say the same thing on free speech.
I can't speak for you, but I think I know where you're coming from.
You don't like the idea of the government being able to meddle in private speech and private conduct.
I mean, I won't speak for you.
I'll speak for myself.
If someone doesn't want to bake you a cake, you can't compel them.
You shouldn't be able to compel them to bake you a cake.
I'm talking about, you know, the gay wedding cakes, if there's a Christian baker.
Go to another baker or protest that guy or whatever, but don't compel him.
But when you have mass outsourcing of censorship as an official government policy to circumvent the First Amendment in your country or what little free speech we have here or there is no free speech in Europe, when you have a deliberate policy to use outsourced censorship to tech titans to evade what little free speech protection there is,
when you have a de facto monopoly, and when you have all sorts of other shenanigans that we're only now learning about at Facebook, I have abandoned my belief in the sanctity of libertarian private property of these companies.
And I do believe that we need to investigate the political censorship of the Facebooks, YouTubes, Googles, Twitters, and maybe do a Teddy Roosevelt-style trust-busting.
And again, Trump is the analogy there.
Teddy Roosevelt, a unique, bullheaded, third-party guy, the Bull Moose Party, smashed the big monopolies in his day, trust-busted them.
Trump is the only person who could possibly do it.
And let me put it this way, Gavin.
If Trump doesn't bust the Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Google monopoly, they'll bust him in 2020.
They want nothing more than to destroy his reelection.
It's all they think about.
Well, it's a real strange place to be here, railing against capitalism and pining for government oppression, but that's where we're at.
It's crony capitalism.
And when you've got $50 billion or whatever Zuckerberg has, are you out for money?
Yeah, you sort of are.
But I think you checked all those boxes.
You scratched everything off your to-do list.
Then you have a Messiah complex.
So is it capitalism or is it someone who believes they're the Messiah?
And George Soros, too, you and I have talked about him before.
George Soros says he has a God complex.
Of course he does.
When you're worth $14 billion in his case, or 50 or whatever is in Zuckerberg's case, you no longer think about, well, I'd like this jet or I'd like this vacation.
That's not entertaining enough for you.
You want to change the outcomes of entire countries.
That's why George Soros versus Viktor Orban in Hungary is so interesting.
Who owns Hungary, the voters and their president and prime minister, or Soros in New York?
And when you're Mark Zuckerberg, can you manipulate thousands, millions, billions of people?
Can you shape the world in your own image?
That's what drives these guys.
Jeff Bezos, yeah, he's about the money, but he is about, he is a Rockefeller, but without, I think, the, I don't think he has the patriotism of a Rockefeller.
I think he's a globalist.
Ezra, we're out of time.
Thank you so much for coming on the show.
And despite the doom and gloom, we're very optimistic that you will always find a way.
Well, thanks very much.
It's great to see you again, my friend.
Congratulations on your show at CRTV.com.
And if any of your viewers want to check out what we're doing here at the Rebel, we've got some interesting things cooking.
We've got the great Katie Hopkins.
I know she was on your show the other day.
And Canadian content, American content.
So people can feel free to pop by here too.
Oh, we're losing the signal.
We can't seem to hear you.
I don't know what's happening.
The Skype must be gone.
Hello.
Hello.
Good luck over there.
Good luck over there, my friend.
Take care.
See you, Ezra.
Thanks.
See ya.
Bye.
Don't get comfortable.
Look.
I don't dance now.
Look at these diamonds.
Look at the diamonds.
Donna Trump Lova.
Every time I see someone rich from a third world country like Russia, I think you got that money torturing people.
Like even if I see a Filipino billionaire or something, it just reeks of corruption.
They all seem like Mugabe to me.
But this one is relevant because she's Donald Trump's love child.
Yes, folks, let's dominate the headlines with Donna Trumplova, who not only is she a secret love child that the government doesn't want you to know about, but she's also a badass superstar who's out there kicking ass and taking names.
Here's a video, we'll talk to her about this, where she's punching Nazis.
Not figuratively, but real Nazis, real punches.
Check this out.
Oh, that's the intro.
Okay.
Look.
Oh, she saw one.
There's a Nazi that was walking.
She had an actual passage.
Go back to Canada.
No!
By the way, I hate to break character, but the amazing thing about this video is how no one goes, what's a guy doing in a Nazi costume?
And they just go, good.
Another Nazi bites the dust.
And someone pointed this out to me recently.
We were talking about Nazi skinheads in the 80s and how, you know, when we were young, we had to fight real Nazis.
And my buddy goes, yeah, but how were they real Nazis?
There was no Nazi party.
World War II was over.
So even those much more realistic ones with actual swastika tattoos, I mean, they're basically dressed up like the Khmer Rouge or some other dead military group that doesn't exist anymore.
So even the ones I fought were phony.
But the ones you fight, like Jordan Peterson, well, that's ridiculous.
But anyway, we've all become so brainwashed, and I'm ruining the whole joke here.
We've all become so brainwashed that when we see a Nazi, we'd get out our phones and we go, good, I'm glad he's finally dead.
uh-oh you can't eat ice cream after charleston Look at that.
That's my favorite one.
Damn it.
Damn Nazis.
Anyway, that goes on and on.
And what would you rather do?
Look at a video of Donald Trump's love child or actually talk to the actual woman in probably Russia or somewhere.
Let's go there now.
Donna Trumplova, are you there?
I'm here, Mr. Hanson Gavin.
You look like you're in a beautiful Moscow hotel or something.
Oh, I'm not in Moscow.
Thank you so much.
I am actually in Krasnoyarsk in my home.
Oh, Krasnoyarsk.
familiar with that.
Now what relation to you are Well, I think you maybe heard the story already.
So it was 1987, and my mother was a dancer in Moscow.
And, you know, this is when Donald Trump visits in Moscow and he, you know, making funds with my mother, you know what I mean?
And it's just, this is my story.
And then a nine month later, my mother coming back to Siberia and, you know, she giving the birth to me.
That sounds a lot more exciting than, you know, the war in Syria and tariff stuff.
And if I, you know, as a newsman, I would rather just say breaking news and then cut to Stormy Daniels or you or something like that.
People only like doing the fake news.
So, you know, and they want like telling about like Stormy Daniels.
Like, honestly, she's not even that pretty.
So I think nobody wants to tell about me because it's a true story.
So only the fake news these days.
Right.
Now you've got a movie coming out.
We're checking out your, what is it, Indiegogo?
Yes, my Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign.
And what's that movie going to be about?
Well, my movie is The Revenge Flick about revenging and assassinating the Harvey Weinstein.
Oh, that sounds exciting.
Well, if it's anything like this documentary you did about beating up a Nazi, it's going to be a wild ride.
It absolutely will be a wild ride.
It already is the wild ride.
Now, we were just watching this before you started.
I got to say, thank you so much for your hard work.
I mean, this Nazi keeps showing up everywhere you go, and you just take him out.
Thank you so much.
You know, I practice in martial arts, and I take my job very seriously.
And I don't think it's okay, you know, when there's so many Nazis walking around everywhere.
So I'm taking care of all the problems.
You know, America is in my heart, and I am taking care of the American problems.
Punch a Nazi.
And you, like a lot of people say, punch a Nazi, you literally do it.
Yes.
I, you know, don't like people who are all talking action.
I like real people.
And you seem to be one of them.
I've never met anyone realer than you.
And it's amazing how, you know, you can take out a Nazi who looks like he's well over six feet tall, and you still look fantastic doing it.
Thank you so much, Mr. Gavin.
I mean, so much from someone so handsome like yourself.
We're both breathtakingly gorgeous.
We are.
It's very, very true.
Well, Donna, I'm looking.
Oh, sorry.
I'm really looking forward to your movie.
I think it's going to be exciting, and I'm looking forward to seeing Harvey Weinstein get punished the way this Nazi does.
Absolutely.
I have nothing stopping me.
And I think this is the time for the Me Too.
So, you know, I'm ready to take the justice and do what it takes to make America great.
And also, you know, I actually used to have a variety show in New York City.
And I love to be bringing many different types of people together.
That's why it's called United States of America.
And that's why I bring in, you know, all types of people.
Maybe you've seen some of the episodes when I had in the beginning.
Like, I bring in, you know, my friend, mutual friend, gorgeous, wonderful Lady Alchemy, you know, from the alt-right terrorist organization.
And on the same show, I have the pink mass also from the Antifa terrorist organization.
And on my show, they all making the arts, okay?
And this was Easter special episode.
And they're all painting the Easter eggs together, holding the bunny rubbies together.
And everybody getting along so well.
And actually, the second episode, I wanted to bring also two very different people.
One of them is you.
And that was my plan.
But I'll tell you why it went wrong.
And the second person I wanted to have on the show with you, this beautiful, talented artist, my very, very favorite.
She's, you know, her art embodies very spiritual topics and like embodies the core of the 21st soul, 21st century soul of our generation.
Her name is Rebecca Gallette.
She's the professor.
You're not protecting!
There are you students here!
And I disgusted!
I'm a professor!
How dare you!
How dare you, fucking assholes!
Protect me, O Nazis!
F you!
F you!
Fu you!
Oh, okay.
Yeah, let's do it.
I wanted to do this, but I telling her that I want you on the show with her, and that's when the shit hits in the plan.
She say, no, no, no, this guy's no good, and I don't want doing the show with him.
Well, I think the problem is that, like you, I'm too good.
And feminists and the left, they know that if they ever get in the same room with me, it would be like something out of ancient Greece.
I mean, I would just eat them alive.
It would be Caligula all over again.
Donna.
There are so many problems today in America, you know, and I'm ready to fight for all of the types of the justice.
You know, like all this, like, misogyny that happening in America.
You know, this is not okay.
Like, in Russia, I'm never encountering this type of misogyny.
Like, for example, you know, my also very good friend, you know, Mila Yiannopoulos.
Like, I don't want to say anything bad, but this kind of misogyny that he's doing, not okay, okay?
Why he kissing you and he never want to kiss me?
That's true.
Sexism.
Is the sexism?
Homosexuality is really just a giant pile of sexism at the end of the day.
What's the matter with women?
You don't like them?
Because this kind of problem never happened to me back in Russia.
Okay, we gotta go.
We're out of time, Donna, but you have been an absolute joy and an inspiration to us all.
Thank you so much, Mr. Handsome Gavin.
I love you so much, and I love your show.
And I love you.
And don't forget to donate to my Indie Agogo card.
Which right there on the screen.
We're plugging away at it.
Love you.
I love you so much.
Shlofsky Vovk.
You want it to?
These expensive.
These are bad bottoms.
Okay, so the cops got him.
I think he has a gun.
Uh-oh.
*crickets*
He dropped his gun.
Okay, if you want this guy to get away, you're a bad person.
You're having bad feelings.
And facts don't care about your feelings, but feelings can be right or wrong.
And it's a bad, wrong feeling to be enjoying this.
We are on the side of law enforcement.
We're not on the side of some thug with a gun.
And by the way, I'm joking, but he did seem to point the gun at the cops for a second there.
But I hate the fact that I empathize with criminals.
It's a bad gene.
I don't know where it comes from.
I want it out of my body, but I want him to get away.
I guess I know too that the cop who left his car there, and you're about to see what I'm talking about, I know he's going to get ribbed like crazy back at the station.
And that's really a fountain of infinite cornucopia of plenty of jokes.
I heard about this cop once who accidentally tased this old lady, this guy's mom, and the cops ribbed him for years.
And they made his locker.
I don't quite get this, but they made his locker into the shape of a taser gun and painted it like a giant taser.
So there's a lot of comedy that's going to happen from this, but pointing guns at cops is obviously not remotely funny.
I'm pulling myself out of this funny moment to say that, and now I'm going back into the funny moment to see a guy who dropped his gun, was apprehended by two police, and may possibly escape.
Look at this.
Why'd you leave your keys in it?
Then he goes to get in the car, which is pretty darn brave because you're risking crashing with him.
That guy could go right into the telephone pull you books, dude.
He gets out and she's gone.
Holy crap, that guy's in trouble.
I mean the cop.
Oh, here's another view of the whole thing.
By the way, the way you find this is Grand Theft Auto 2, the video game, in real life.
And this is a 20-minute compilation.
You can tell I spend a lot of time noodling in front of the computer.
That's what happens when you quit porn.
You got a lot of time on your hands.
Oh, this audio is a lot less abrasive.
Well, that's the same.
I've seen this video too.
That's the same one.
See, he argues with him for a bit, then gets up.
You see, we keep hearing about how violent the cops are and how they shoot people for no reason, but you don't hear about how often these people get in fistfights with perps.
And perps, that's the cool police term, by the way, the perps often win fights and knock officers out.
Look at this guy.
This guy's so lucky he didn't get shot.
All right.
Gets up.
Has he been tased?
He's finna kill his.
He's about to kill this.
Look, he dropped his gun.
He picked it up.
He stopped to pick up the gun.
Well, you're very, you're good about picking up guns.
You're not great about leaving your keys in the car.
And he's off.
He's off.
I mean, terrible feeling to have, but I can't sort of feel simulation, partly because there's going to be a lot of funny jokes back at the station and also because it's fun seeing guys get away.