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April 10, 2018 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
44:40
Get Off My Lawn #113 | Kim Blinks on Nukes
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Time Text
I will break you down.
I'm going to get you down to ice and breathe in.
I'm going to get you down to ice and breathe in.
Well, that was a hit from Soft Cell Mark Almond.
That was a big song in the 80s.
Soft Cell covered a song called Tainted Love.
Tainted Love was a girl group song from the 50s.
Tainted Love, don't touch me, please.
I cannot stand the way you tease.
So Soft Cell does it with an electro beat, and it's their biggest song.
But of course, when you do a cover, you don't get any of that money.
That goes to the original artist.
So his career was a cover song.
That was the only thing that really ever made them popular.
And you go, well, they were probably a good band, though.
No, they, excuse me, they were beyond terrible.
This terrible, terrible band had a career playing live shows because everyone was waiting for that one hit, that cover.
But did you hear the garbage that I was playing?
Dave, look up the lyrics to Sex Dwarf.
It's really, it's so amateurish.
It's like, you know, when you're 14 and you think you're a badass?
It's written in that sort of like overly confident, that hubris of early adolescence.
What is it?
Isn't it nice?
Sugar and spice.
Luring disco dollies to a life of vice.
Oh my God.
I'm a Rolls-Royce.
Look, it's so huge.
It's big and it's gold with my dumb chauffeur.
What a nerd.
Look at him.
Ooh.
I'm scared.
Can you go full screen on that?
Whoa.
In your face.
You know, when I see stuff like that, I can't help but think, gay culture really is garbage culture.
I don't know.
Maybe it's after, you know, an entire youth of feeling weird and you're bad and you're unusual.
They come out of the closet and they go, I'm not bad.
And that's true.
You're not bad.
You're just gay.
But they come too far out of the closet and then they're like, actually, I'm wonderful.
And everything I do is amazing.
And I'm sugar and spice driving in a limousine with my dumb chauffeur.
Scared yet?
No, dude, I don't care.
Oh, yeah, I'm getting married.
All right.
I'm having a parade where I go down the street and I neck.
I make out with my boyfriend.
What do you think of that?
Yeah, I live in New York City.
I'm familiar with homosexual.
We're here.
We're queer.
Get used to it.
Yeah, pretty used to it by now.
Pretty darn used to it.
Actually, moving to the burbs, I'm so used to gays that I was, that's one of the first things I noticed when I moved to the suburbs was no one's gay.
No one talks about gays.
They don't like them or dislike them.
They don't come up.
Gay marriage, it's like you might as well talk about albinos.
Like if I was in a bar in the suburbs and I said, well, what do the gays think?
It would be like I said, what do the Amish think?
People would go, what?
Gays?
I don't know.
Why are you talking about them?
But in New York City, it dominates.
I haven't seen you in a while.
We didn't notice that Trump Tower burst into flames, and they're trying to pin that on Trump, saying there had no sprinkler system, and he lobbied against it.
The New York Post seems to be straying from their love of Trump.
And I am guilty of faltering last week when he signed that $1.3 trillion bill.
And Austin Fleckis spanked my bear behind.
And he said, don't ever stab daddy in the back.
He said, this is 4D chess.
He's doing it so he can get money so he can send the troops down and have the army build the wall.
And it's looking like that is the case.
So the one time I doubted dad, he was right and I was wrong.
But the post is completely given up.
Here's an interesting one from Friday.
Moment mentally ill man killed by cops threatened kid.
Now, if you'll recall, the New York Times Zangle was a picture of a cop and just man without a gun shot by cops.
Yeah, that's technically true, but it's a man who had something that looked exactly like a gun who had been pointing it at many, many people, including children.
And then when he pointed at the cops, they go, you're dead.
Very, very interesting story in the sense that it really shows the disingenuous media when it comes to reporting on guns.
I mean, I'll never forget the front page of the New York Post.
It was about gun violence.
And they had a picture of a dad holding a 22 when his little boy was maybe five.
And he was showing him how to use the gun and said, you know, blah, blah, blah, teaching his children a child how to hold a gun.
That boy later died after shooting himself in the head, blah, blah, blah.
You know, representing a minuscule percentage of cases.
And most of these kids who die accidentally from guns, it's a single mom.
She's dating a gangster.
He leaves his Glock near the pram.
She picks it, the little kid picks it up, shoots himself.
It's just propaganda.
It's lies.
It's a Lulugan press.
Then we had Connor McGregor threw a dolly, not the kind that you play with a dress, the kind that you lift heavy boxes with.
He threw that at a bus full of MMA guys and cut their faces up.
And then today, we've got Kim Blinks on nukes.
Again, don't doubt dad.
North Korea now says weapons are on the table.
And then, of course, a Blasaid gun wrap.
She was found with a gun in her car right near a shooting in Queens.
And this is, of course, the anti-gun capital of the world.
And de Blasio is another Obama hating guns more than anything.
And he's got some aid with a gun in her car.
I assume she'll get five years, just like our buddy who we had on last week, Clark.
He should be at Rikers today, actually.
And I don't think this is sexist.
You can stop me if you think this is sexist, but I committed to him on this show.
We're going to visit him whenever we can, right?
Like if we're allowed once a week, we'll go once a week.
And I'm going to bring a large-chested woman every time I go.
Now, that's a sexist and silly thing to say in the normal world, but when a man is in a cage and the woman is complying, I'm obviously not going to abduct her off the street, but if she, you know, women often enjoy titillating men, if she's into titillating this poor prisoner, then I don't see anything wrong with that, right?
It's just boobs.
There's going to be no sexual encounters there.
You're just allowing him to leer.
He'll be king leer for a day.
All right.
Let's get down to the important stuff, and that is this Sean Hannity feud.
Now, I know Jimmy Kimmel.
I've hung out with him a few times.
We are both involved in a complex prank called the Perry Project, and it's been going on for decades where we torment this man named Perry Caravello.
Jimmy Kimmel will always have a place in my heart because he funded the movie Windy City Heat, which is self-explanatory if you go to YouTube right now and watch it for free.
And at the beginning of the movie, just watch the first minute, and it explains the history of the Perry Project very well.
It's very well edited.
It was a complete catastrophe, though.
It made him $0, which I also really admire.
You know, the guys who did South Park made nothing on Team America World Police, but they thought it was a good project, so they foregoed their director's fees and made it.
Like, there's something noble about that.
You know what I mean?
When people do stuff like that, they make art for a loss, even though they could be making millions elsewhere.
You're sort of special now.
Now, Kimmel, in the past year or two, he's really gone off the deep end with the lefty stuff.
I mean, he used to be funny.
He used to be outrageous.
He used to be much braver.
And now it's crying about health care and bitching about Trump.
And so he had this back and forth with Sean Hannity, as you likely know.
Now, what I thought was interesting about it is Hannity did a weird move in it.
He said, I'm going to talk to your boss, and you're going to come groveling to me.
So just keep doing what you're doing, buddy.
That's a ballsy move, isn't it?
Like, I would never say that unless I knew the mob and they had done other jobs for me in the past and whacked people successfully.
Then I might say, you just made a big mistake.
And then, you know, I know danger was going to happen.
But you really sort of, you put all your cards on the table when you say, go talk to your boss.
Let's see.
Let's see you come crawling back to me crying.
And it worked.
So Hannity won.
Sorry.
But let's look at some of these.
I like the back and forth on Twitter more than anything.
But keep going down.
So more of Disney's Jimmy Kimmel being Harvey Weinstein Jr.
So he goes to a man show episode.
That was Jimmy Kimmel's old show.
And Jimmy Kimmel would have woman touch his crotch and stuff.
It was a comedy bet.
It was quite funny, actually.
But the smart thing that Hannity's doing here is he knows Disney is very sensitive about this.
They consider themselves a family brand.
So what Hannity's saying is, you work for a big, big corporation that is very concerned with how you talk, and they're very worried that everything you do supports the family.
So you can't come at me, dude.
You're someone else's bitch.
And all I have to do is point that out, and you will come groveling home.
And now, I don't think that's good.
I don't like the fact that Jimmy Kimmel can't say certain things, but it's like being a prisoner in a really good way.
You know what I mean?
Like, you can't go to a corrections officer and flick him in the back of the head.
You're in prison.
You are being monitored.
You're not allowed to do that.
So when Kimmel started yapping at Hannity, he went, I'm going to call your boss, and he did.
Is it a violation of free speech?
That's a great question.
I mean, Jimmy Kimmel is being told he can't say certain things, but it's not illegal for him to say certain things.
He just can't say certain things at work.
But Kevin, you always talk about how the mob is more important than the law, and we shouldn't have this world where you can't make jokes, especially jokes about Melania Trump.
Yeah, this was a violation of Kimmel's free speech.
I still think Hannity won, and I don't feel that bad about it.
Because Kimmel picked the fight.
Kimmel picked a fight and said, I can do whatever I want, and he should be able to do whatever he wants.
But he can't do whatever he wants.
And Hannity called him on it.
That's my contention.
But what does he have?
Jimmy Kimmel responds to him pointing out that Mancho thing and says it was a joke.
Oh, and then he gets weird.
He says, you're calling me a pervert, which he did.
And then he said, you're the one slobbering over Trump, Ailes, O'Reilly, and yes, Roy Moore.
Trump, I don't, where does this thing with Trump being a sexual assault guy come in?
He said, they let you grab the pussy.
They let you.
Roger Ailes, yes, he did molest women.
Sorry.
Roy Moore dated very young girls.
That's perverted.
And O'Reilly left dirty phone messages on women that I believe he was Already fornicating.
I don't think O'Reilly really counts.
But so then Hannity plays, comes back and says he's going to be talks about all the terrible stuff he's done over the years.
And then Kimmel calls him Weinstein Jr.
And then Kimmel says, no, you're Kimmel says, you're the pervert.
Keep going down.
Sorry, I'm sort of fumbling this, aren't I?
Oh, yeah.
And then he says, attacking the First Lady of the United States, attacking her accent.
And then Kimmel does something super low.
He says to Hannity, and liberals always do this, by the way, I call it the daughter effect.
He goes, how would you feel about your daughter being grabbed by the pussy?
This has happened to me a million times, by the way.
They feel like they're losing and they go, yeah, what about your daughter?
And what does that do?
Well, it makes you irrational.
If you want me to make laws based on how I want my daughter's life to be, you're going to be living in a fascist dictatorship that will make Venezuela look like the Garden of Eden.
I'm going to have, no men are allowed to do anything.
Women are locked in boxes.
They're trying to make you irrational.
And you know your views suck when someone has to be irrational to agree with you.
So I kept going back and forth.
And does this end with the apology?
Back and forth.
Oh, yeah.
No, go up a bit.
I like that.
So go down, go down.
Sorry.
Oh, yeah.
And then he has a good diss.
He says, Hannity says, you're last in the ratings.
And then Kimmel points out, no, Maddow is ahead of you.
She's kicking your ass in ratings.
That's true, by the way.
Isn't that amazing?
Rachel Maddow has just over 3 million viewers.
And Hannity has about 3 million viewers right on the nose.
She has got maybe 50,000 more than him.
Is that just, like, who's watching Rachel Maddow am I crazy?
I get Sean Hannity.
You watch Sean Hannity.
The guy's been doing it since he was a teenager.
He's amazing at his job, and he knows everything about the law, really well-versed in history.
He knows all these different politicians whose names I constantly space out on, but he can always pull them up really quick.
Rachel Maddow, she's made so many mistakes, so many lies about the Koch brothers.
Remember that one?
Some pharmaceutical thing or Florida?
Anyway, but let's look at his apology.
Have you got that?
I'm not sure it's at the bottom of that one.
While I admit I did have fun with our back and forth, after some thought, I realized that the level of vitriol from all sides, mine and me included, does nothing good for anyone and is in fact harmful to our country.
Now, you see, you can't go 180 like that and pretend that you've just sort of had a revelation.
I know I was talking, and he was talking about Handy being erect for Donald Trump and all kinds of sexual gay references that started a backlash in the LGBT community because they go, uh, Jim, gay isn't an insult.
So you saying you probably slobber all over his genitalia, that's what I do for a living.
I'm gay.
So don't make that an insult.
And by the way, that is kind of a dumb insult, the term cucker, because it's said by so many guys who want nothing more than that from their significant other.
So Disney definitely went to him after Hannity brought it up and made him apologize.
By the way, folks at home, I cannot make this clear enough.
Don't put two spaces after a period.
It makes you look like a teenager.
It's something we did in high school back in typewriter days, two space bars, because you want to differentiate the sentence and make it clear this is the beginning of the sentence.
Computers do this naturally, so you no longer need to do the double tap that you had to do on an electric typewriter in college.
It makes it look like you don't write very often.
And that's not a good look.
Even in 2018, the vile attacks against my wife and wishes for death on my infant son are shocking, and I encourage those who made them to give their words and action thought.
I, too, will give my words more thought and recognize my role in inciting their hatefulness.
The difference, by the way, those death threats and stuff are from 14-year-olds.
You were saying outrageous things as an adult with a show, with a major platform, to Sean Hannity and saying it on your show.
By lampooning Sean Hannity's deference to the president, the most silly did not intend to belittle or upset members of the gay community and to those who took offense, I apologize.
That's a common apology trick you do.
You say, if you were offended, or to those who were offended, I apologize, but you're not really apologizing.
I will take Sean Hannity's word that he's generally offended by what I believe, blah, blah, blah.
See, all of this, the actual content is irrelevant, and newly found doesn't have a hyphen, by the way.
Microsoft Word tried to tell you that, and you ignored it.
But the content is irrelevant.
What's relevant here is Hannity said, I'm going to make you grovel to me like a little bitch, and that's exactly what happened.
Should it happen?
No.
You should be allowed to make disgusting insults.
There should be no rules of censorship.
Your boss shouldn't be telling you what jokes you can and can't say, who you can and can't lampoon.
I am an anarchist.
However, this is the reality of the situation.
He's working for a huge family corporation.
He picked a fight and Hannity slapped him down like a bitch.
And it was, we're still sort of seeing the effects.
Before this apology letter, he got a massive boycott started.
Boycott Kimmel.
What is that?
150,000 signatures.
You know what I mean?
Like, I want you to be able to say whatever you want, but there's certain glass houses you can't throw stones from.
Should you be able to throw stones?
Yes.
But what are you doing?
It goes back to what we were talking about the other day with Kathy Griffin and the Trump head freaking out that it affected her career.
You did a punk rock thing.
You picked a fight.
If you go around acting like Sid Vicious, you're going to end up with a dead girlfriend at the Chelsea Hotel.
All right.
Let's look at some videos here.
This drunk judge is fascinating.
We have a judge.
Where is she actually?
Where is this judge located?
Let's watch the video.
This judge, she's been caught drunk driving, clearly an affirmative action hire who was just hired because she's Hispanic and female.
She got caught drunk driving, which is usually a bad thing in the legal world.
And then she did it again and kept getting caught.
So they said, all right, here's what we'll do.
You can't be a judge because you're a drunk judge.
And then she got a raise.
So she's making, I think, $187,000 a year.
Check this out.
She's worked one day this year.
Rochester, New York.
Look how proud of herself she is.
I think you get a raise for doing less.
The taxpayers deserve a whole lot more.
Estacio.
Look at her.
Can you imagine how much TV this woman watches?
She must sit on her, her poor couch must be massacred by her fat ass.
The drunk judge.
These are the people who put our friends together.
Do you know how many judges got a raise?
It's not like I went and petitioned for a raise.
It's not like I was a rapper.
Just pause for a second.
Look at her giant robe.
She's having like a 40-minute shower, maybe a bath.
She watches probably two movies in the morning, eating ice cream, Haagendas.
She varies the flavors.
And then she makes her own pizza.
That takes about two hours.
Then she watches another movie.
And then sometimes we'll just have another shower just because she likes the way it feels.
In her bathrobe, sitting on her ass for $187,000.
She wants to go out and have brunch and have lunch and stuff, but everyone's at work.
God.
I can only really get brunch dates on the weekend because everyone has to go to work.
So I could get caught up on all my shows.
You know what shows she's caught up on?
Every single one.
She is right there with Wild, Wild Country, Game of Thrones, the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
She's watched every single app.
She knows everything about all this.
This woman, and this, by the way, is not unusual for New York.
We had another woman, also an affirmative action hire.
You know why she had to leave the bench?
Oh, because she covered it in diarrhea.
I know.
Can I even say that on this show?
We're at the point where I can't describe our judge's behavior because this is a clean show.
But she had an explosive diarrhea attack on her bench.
And her attitude, not unlike this woman, was, well, are you going to get me a new chair or what?
I don't have time to sit on it.
And someone's going to wipe my ass with like a giant soapy towel, I guess.
How do you clean that off?
Sorry, folks, if you're eating, but this is just the news.
Go ahead.
No.
All the judges got races.
Look at her big smile.
Go on, I like to drive drunk sometimes.
Give me a break.
Yikes.
What else do we got here?
Oh, here's one I wanted to talk about.
Mayor Khan in London, England, is now talking about common sense gun control.
Now, Crowder is way better at the gun stuff than I am.
But didn't we used to say that as a joke?
Wasn't that a meme for a while?
We would talk about how knives don't kill people, people kill people, and we have to ban the assault knife and stuff.
And we talked about the black knife looks a lot more dangerous because it's got an ergonomic grip.
You don't need that grip.
You're just cutting bread.
Why don't you just have a normal grip?
And that was a good analogy we would use, and it was funny.
It's not funny anymore.
Now it's real in London.
Sadiq Ikan, who is a Muslim apologist, and the worst thing that's happened to London since World War II, this is a guy who told Muslims they shouldn't assimilate.
What?
He told immigrants that they don't have to assimilate.
He also said terrorism, that's just sort of like living, it's just part of living in a big city.
There's going to be terrorism.
What?
He was the mayoral equivalent of Mark Allman.
Let's have another look at Mark, shall we?
Sex door.
Sex door.
Ha ha ha ha.
Sex door.
That's his cabinet line.
So yeah, Sadiq Khan had a knife crime summit where we all get together and discuss the problems with knives.
You know what the problems with knives are in London?
Muslims and welfare.
You have a very socialist city.
You've got lots of projects.
You've got the children of single mothers.
You have all kinds of different violent gangs murdering people.
You don't need a knife summit.
We don't need more education.
They literally have PSAs in London talking about how you don't need a knife.
Knives are deadly.
Put your knives away.
Keep your knives in the kitchen.
If you walk around with a knife, you will be arrested.
That's actually what Sadiq Khan tweeted.
He's tweeting out, don't use knives to his citizens.
There is never a reason to carry a knife.
Yeah, that's the problem.
It's knives.
Also, this is a little too serious and I like to keep it light.
But I saw a couple things here.
Tony Robbins got in trouble for me too.
And then I also saw this insane video that said maps are sexist.
Let's check that out in our situation room, which I stole that name from Jersey Shore, the guy who works out a lot, the situation, and I feel a kinship with him.
So this is a new thing we do where I walk over to the Situation Room to discuss certain videos.
Oh, geez.
Bad start.
All right, so this is a Tony Robbins video that's going around.
Apparently, he has desecrated the Me Too movement.
I watched a documentary on Netflix about Tony Robbins that I highly recommend.
I like him.
He's not my cup of tea, but my life isn't in the toilet.
And I think if you're really struggling and you need help, I think he's a great way to go.
You can read his books at the bookstore.
You don't even have to pay for them.
So I think he's helped a lot of people, but it's too low IQ for me personally.
But that's just the curse of being a genius.
So he brought up a great point about me too.
And of course, the angle with this video is that he dared to criticize rape victims and was put in his place by a badass.
That's not what happened at all.
But cue the xylophone now this.
It's a good time to be a xylophone player.
Okay, so he believes people...
You use the Meacham movement to try to get significance and certainty by attacking and destroying someone else.
You have a grown announced.
All you've done is basically use a drug called significance to make yourself go with it.
Pause that.
All you've done is created a drug called significance to make yourself feel good.
If someone sexually assaults you, then take them to court.
Call the cops.
Get them arrested.
Those things are illegal.
Shaming them, getting a settlement.
I mean, isn't that just really expensive prostitution?
And also, these women, like Gretchen Carlson got $20 million because Roger Ailes said inappropriate things.
Like, if you had slept with me, you'd probably be doing better.
That's a horrible thing for a boss to say.
Do you deserve $20 million?
I've had bosses say stuff like that to me my whole life.
You know, a lot of us guys also get sexually accosted by homosexuals, homosexuals in power.
They're called the Velvet Mafia.
We don't get $20 million.
We go, no thanks, Larry.
Meanwhile, they have that kid who went down that dangerous water slide and was beheaded.
His family got $20 million.
So being sexually suggestive to Gretchen Carlson is the same, according to our judicial system, as losing your child to a decapitation.
Doesn't seem like what we're doing is really working, does it?
All right, go back.
piano plays softly So I think you misunderstand the Me Too movement.
Look at these people and see what is empowerment.
Anger is not empowerment.
What you're seeing is people making themselves significant by making somebody else strong.
Yeah, we're told she's a survivor of sexual abuse.
Can you just pause it here?
I cannot recommend enough.
Actually, we'll just put up a picture.
There we go.
This is the woman who started the Me Too movement.
Do you know what her sexual assault was?
She was roughhousing with some boys when she was seven, and they ripped her shirt.
And her mother said, what are you doing roughhousing with boys anyway?
Instead of saying, oh my God, your shirt was ripped.
That's it?
I wouldn't even remember that if that happened to me.
Most of us don't remember that.
And it did happen to most of us.
We don't walk around starting a Me Too movement.
And really, is anyone considering molesting this hippopotamus?
I don't think so.
But go back.
You're telling me that the more I push, the more I'm going to be safe.
I don't know what the hell he's doing with that.
and you are doing a disservice to my opinion to me too many.
Woo!
Woo!
Because I just was seeing the other day, very famous man, very powerful man, he's saying how stressed he is because he interviewed three people that day.
One was a woman, two were men.
The woman was better qualified, but she was very attractive.
And he knew I can't have him around because it's too big a risk.
And he hired somebody else.
I've had a dozen men tell me that too.
Okay, so that's enough of that.
I've had a dozen men tell me that too.
In fact, I know people on Wall Street who refuse to hire women.
They would never write that down, but they just make it clear to their business partners, guys, it's not worth the risk.
We're not doing it.
Now, that's relevant in a number of ways, but one of them is like my dad told me a story once where he said, I hired this woman and I didn't, she had a name like Leslie that could be male or female or Pat.
And I hired her without knowing that it was a woman.
And she was breathtakingly gorgeous.
And she ended up, you know, doing a great job.
And I go, so no problems whatsoever?
Well, no, I mean, she didn't sue us or anything, but she did fall in love with another guy who worked there.
And then that ruined his marriage.
And they got a divorce.
And they ended up getting together.
And then they got divorced later.
So, and this is horrible, by the way, what I'm saying.
Beautiful women in the workforce are problematic even when they're qualified.
Now, I say a lot of them aren't qualified, would be much happier at home, and they're doing stupid made-up jobs like marketing or whatever.
But sometimes, just the fact that there's a woman there, I don't know, you're going to lust her.
Men are thinking about sex all the time.
And when you see a woman there just being gorgeous, and by the way, they don't just wear sweatpants and crocs.
They wear stilettos and fishnets, not fishnet stockings, but different colored stockings.
They look amazing, especially in New York City.
And I don't know, your mind kind of goes places.
So I guess what I'm saying is the only way we can work through this is for all of us to accept that we are sexual beings and inappropriate comments might happen because they happen.
I mean, you wouldn't believe the horrible things I say to Dave and gay jokes all the time, too.
I want to grab your ass.
Oh my God, I love you.
You're so sexy.
Blah, blah, blah.
It's called riffing.
So I think if women want to be accepted in the workforce, we have to accept that it's weird that you're here.
We're having desires.
And all that suing people is doing is making men say, I don't want anything to do with this.
So again, ladies, if something happens to you and it's illegal, go straight to the cops.
Don't ruin his career.
Don't demand money.
If something happens to you and it's not illegal, then grow up and get over it.
I don't know.
And you know, another thing that bothers me about that Anthony Robbins thing is he's pontificating.
He's not a policymaker.
He's not Mao.
So when he says something like, I think the Me Too movement is phony, that doesn't mean that rape is now allowed.
This is the same thing that happened with Kevin Williamson recently.
He was fired from the Atlantic for saying that women who have abortions should be hanged.
This guy's a pontificator.
He's Socratic.
He's like Plato.
He's one of the best writers of our generation, by the way.
But he's fired immediately for saying such hateful things.
I think he's a New Yorker.
I've run into him.
Every time I've run into him, it's been in New York.
But the guy speaks in a hyperbolic way, as he should.
He's a paid thinker.
Anyway, before I get to this maps or sexist thing, I got to introduce you to this guy.
Wow.
He was a junkie in Jersey.
He got clean, decided he wanted to be a barber, loved Confederate stuff, very pro-Trump, anti-Hillary, and at his barbershop in Venice, he wasn't, he was getting, he was being vilified.
Now, I don't know this guy's politics, so I can't vouch for him, but I do know that he moved to Moscow, Russia, tattooed his face, became a barber, first barber, then tattoos, and then he goes, the only place I can go where I can say what I want, and that might be some horrible stuff.
I don't know what his entire canon of beliefs are.
The only place I can go where I want is Soviet Russia.
Isn't that amazing?
So let's talk to him, and then I'll get to this stupid mapster sexist thing, because it's all intertwangled.
Teddy boy Greg, are you there, sir?
Yes, I am.
Where is there?
Moscow, Russia.
Now, I've known a lot of people that move from the east to the west.
A lot of influx of immigrants going in that direction.
It's pretty rare you have an American moving to Russia.
Yeah, I mean, I came here the first time four years ago, and I realized it was paradise, so I made the choice to move here.
Do you speak Russian?
Yeah, I've been a student for a year and a half.
I understand it when it's spoken to me about maybe 40 to 50 percent, and I have to piece it together, and I can read.
It's hard to speak, though.
Yeah, it looks cool in America for a year and a half with a private teacher I met off of Craigslist, so I was studying with her before I moved here.
Now, I noticed you've got a lot of tattoos on your face.
Yeah, my whole body's tattooed.
I'm about 90% covered.
You know what's funny?
You look at a guy like you and you say, well, he's never going to get a normal job and he's probably not going to get a date.
But every time I see a guy with facial tattoos, he's with an attractive lady.
Yeah, I mean, I didn't do it until after I had my career.
That's the thing.
Most of these idiots that get their face tattooed, they're standing outside 7-Eleven panhandling.
You know what I mean?
And I tell people that.
I said, if you're going to get your face tattooed, make sure you have a career where you can support yourself.
I made great money as a barber.
And, you know, you get judged a lot because of the face tattoos.
But my tattoos aren't cheap.
I have over, probably over $130,000 in tattoos on my body, like a house payment.
Now, you had a rocky past.
I saw online you used to be a drug addict and you'd inject cocaine and heroin into your neck.
Yeah, I'm from Jersey, right outside Philadelphia.
That's where I grew up.
And, you know, I gotta, like a lot of people in the Northeast Pocket, you know, from the suburbs, they end up getting on heroin, you know.
And I was on heroin for almost 10 years.
And finally woke up one day and said, you know what, my life's a total of sh ⁇ and time to wake up from it, you know?
So there was no magic thing.
It's not like you were in a car accident or you had a baby or there was some sort of September 11th.
You just said, today I'm getting clean.
I'm going to become a barber.
Well, I mean, you know, through the years of my addiction, you know, going to jail all the time, rehabs, you know, I had some health scares because of it, overdoses.
My kidneys shut down in 2009 for about eight months.
I was on dialysis.
And that didn't even stop me from using it.
I still went back to it.
But it was just, you know, waking up at age 27 and, you know, you're seeing your friends that you grew up with.
They're getting married.
They're buying houses.
They're having careers.
And you're in the same position that you were in high school.
And you're like, you know, it's time to clean up, you know?
Wow.
Okay.
Well, it all makes sense.
And I can even wrap my mind around the tattoos.
I just have trouble understanding like moving to Moscow and opening a barbershop.
Can I ask you financial questions?
Like, how much does it cost?
What's rent in Moscow?
Well, rent for a business is pretty expensive.
I mean, Moscow is the most expensive city.
I mean, it's not as expensive as in New York or LA, but it is expensive.
But living standard-wise, it's not as expensive.
I mean, to open the business, I flew over here, just got a business lawyer, started my LLC company.
I have a work visa here.
I tried to move to Sweden originally.
I was going to open a business there, but the refugee influx started in 2015, right when I put my application in.
I waited two years for a decision from them.
They finally told me, oh, well, barbering is not a viable trade, and you can't speak the Swedish language.
I said, well, number one, I'm an immigrant that wants to assimilate.
So everyone speaks English in your country.
If I have to, which I want to anyway, I want to learn your language.
I believe if you're going to move to a country, you need to assimilate to that culture anyway.
So, and I've worked in Stockholm.
I've cut here in 35 countries in the past three years, teaching, guest spotting, and I've been to Sweden many times.
So finally, I just gave up.
I said, you know what, man, it's a liberal dump in that country anyway.
I'll still have to watch my mouth.
I'll be happier in Russia anyway.
So I gave up there, went to Russia, accomplished more in two weeks here in Moscow in 2016 to open my business in two and a half years in Sweden waiting.
And as I said before, I can't do business in America anymore.
I mean, I can, I can make money there, but I'm so tired of having to watch everything I say just to make a living in that country.
You know, here I'm free.
You can really say whatever you want in this country.
No one's offended by anything.
Even the liberals in this country, they're not offended by anything.
There's hardly any of them.
I mean, I don't know if you saw my business, and I have Confederate flags everywhere, and I don't Have it for racist reasons.
I have the Confederate flag, number one, because you know I love rockabilly music, vintage culture, and also the fact it does piss off the liberals in America that they can't do anything to remove it here.
Well, it's pretty amazing that a freedom-loving Dixie man, a Confederate-loving teddy boy, rockabilly country music fan, has to go to Moscow to feel at home.
Well, the thing is, you know, dude, like you have to watch everything you say in America.
Every time I'm in business, I was in Venice, business in Venice Beach.
That's where my shop was here before this in Los Angeles.
And I'll tell you, every day you've got to watch everything you say because someone will attack my Yelp.
They'll say, oh, I'm offended.
You said this.
You said that.
Or they'll call the news on you to try to do a story to shut your business down.
And I'm not even, when I'm in business, when I'm even working in America, I'm kind of, I'm professional.
I try to stay professional in business.
I don't bring politics in and all that.
But it's my own personal life.
Someone will be like, oh, he works here.
He's a racist.
He's this.
We need to get him fired.
It's just like, it gets so annoying.
You should have been there the day after the election, bro.
It was like post-9-11.
There was no one even walking on the streets.
I had my Make America Great Again hat on.
In Venice, it was like.
It was pretty uncomfortable here in New York City, too.
All right, well, we're out of time, but you're a fascinating character.
Thanks for coming on the show, man.
All right, man.
Anytime.
Wow, that was mental.
Now, to be crystal clear, I don't know this guy's politics.
I don't know.
Maybe he genuinely is a racist.
Maybe he isn't.
I don't think you should be banished to Russia if you say or do something that is offensive and doesn't hurt other people.
But when I saw that we could get a guy on the show who had a rockabilly barber shop in Moscow and has his face completely tattooed, I decided to skip the vetting and just make it clear that just because someone is a guest on our show, we don't necessarily advocate all of their beliefs.
I got plenty of guests like Roaming Millennial, Crowder, and other people on the network that I'm on the same page with, but some of them are just fascinating and need to be checked out.
But I did promise you this cartography video.
After going through it, I'm alarmed at how dull it is.
It's kind of the opposite of talking to a facially tattooed rockabilly barber in Moscow.
But just to give you a taste of the kind of child abuse that goes on in college, kids have to sit and listen to this.
Critical cartographers have studied maps for years and years, and they find they are socially constructed, right, and expressions of power.
That historically, maps have been used to colonize and conquer and are primarily created by white men.
Okay, this goes on and on like that.
You can look it up if you want.
But couldn't you say the same thing about toilet paper?
Johnelle Robinson of Syracuse University, that's a well-known, popular school.
That's not a joke school.
Department of Geography.
This is why, I mean, I fight with my wife all the time about this.
I don't want my kids going to college.
You're not smarter after hearing that.
You're way dumber.
Legs are also used in colonization, and they're mostly used by white males.
So are socks, so are shoelaces, and so is toilet paper.
Therefore, we're going to discuss ways we can rid society of these horrible devices.
All right, we're out of time, but I just want to have a palette cleanser to end the show with.
Were you aware there's ball girls?
Did you know this, Dave?
I've seen them.
They're kind of rare, but yeah.
I've seen hundreds of games.
I've never seen a ball girl.
I've seen ball boys who were throwing balls, not to my kid, but to hot girls, including, and then we're at Mets Stadium, including a Yankees fan.
So I've seen ball boys let me down.
I've never seen ball girls, and I am shocked to look at this video called MLB Playback Ball Girls Time, that they are all above seven.
Check this out.
Look at that.
That makes the game better.
I'm all for ball girls.
Wow.
That was good.
Look, they catch it all the way.
What is that now?
Trying to see what the helmet.
I don't think so.
Solid Sev.
Great Sev.
Could be on the cover of 7 magazine.
I'll tell you one thing.
What's this?
Boom.
Nice catch.
Have the best ball girls down the line.
Isn't this a better part of the game?
I totally advocate eye candy at sporting events.
Those NASCAR, whatever, the British Grand Prix chicks who were just fired for being too sexy.
That's ridiculous.
We need more ball girls.
She's done a hard job.
It doesn't matter if she misses.
Whoa, boom.
Did you see that?
I think this is the amazing one.
I queued it up to an eight.
It's always good to end the show with an eight, right?
Bang.
Nice catch.
And nice jeans.
Look at her.
What quality.
What a healthy young lady.
That's, I'd say, an 8.4.
It's a fair ball, lady.
Don't pick it up.
It's a fair ball.
All right.
Maybe they're not so great out on the field.
But they sure are nice to look at.
Sorry, ball girls.
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