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Jan. 2, 2018 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
47:04
Get Off My Lawn #57 | Last Flight
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Time Text
Proud of your boy, I'll make you proud of your boy.
Believe me, as I've been long, you're in for a pleasant surprise.
I've been wasting time, I've been wasting me some things from my age.
I'll be blue.
Okay, I agree.
Well, I've been one one kid, some sin, some pride, and some joy.
I've been all these messing up, messing up, stupid up times.
Now comes the better part.
Some good comes the stupid heart.
Make it good and finally make you proud of your boy.
All right.
Guys, you gotta go.
You gotta go.
2020 is happening, believe.
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
Great night last night, boys.
It's 2018.
I haven't been to bed yet.
Thanks to my Scottish liver.
I'm not even drunk.
And that was the song, Proud of Your Boy.
I remember someone trying to cast aspersions on Proud Boys, and one of the criticisms was, they love this song that didn't even make it into the musical.
Like, someone's going to hear that and go, yeah, we were really pissed off about that.
We really wanted that song to get in the musical because we really like Aladdin.
It's like when someone calls you gay and thinks it's an insult.
Yeah, those guys are secretly gays.
Okay.
Are we secretly albinos?
Are we secretly Sagittarius?
Insults are getting so bad these days.
I got some chick on Twitter.
We went to, the Proud Boys went to Islamberg, and I said, don't go, because I was scared for them.
And I said, guys, that's too dangerous.
Don't go down there.
And that Daniel Uberjibajibaja, the dean of comedy, goes, these Islamophobes are going down to Islamberg to terrorize innocent Muslim families that are just sweethearts.
And I said, no, there's real jihadists there.
And then later on, this girl wrote an article saying that we're evil Islamophobes and we're terrorizing these poor people.
And now it came out about two months later that, yeah, the FBI is investigating them down there.
And there is a jihadist cult, was the law enforcement's words.
And so I sent that to the writer, and I go, turns out we were right and you were wrong.
And she goes, oh yeah?
Didn't your wife leave you?
What?
I had to run to my bedroom and check.
Hey, Bill, you sound like someone is punching a duck in the stomach.
Shut up.
God, why does he have to scream all the time?
I wish insults could be good again.
You know, things like you're an effing tool or your wife left you or you have racist tattoos.
Like, at least make it true.
And then we can have back and forth.
Now, one guy who's wonderful at the old back and forth is Mr. Michael Malice.
Can we bring Michael Malis to the show?
Michael is here.
Hi, Michael.
How are you?
I'm very well.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I usually hear that anyway, but now it's good that it's come from real people.
Oh, yeah, you don't have people come to your shows, right?
No, no, no, I'm Soviet.
You're Soviet?
Yeah.
What does that mean?
We don't trust people.
We don't trust outsiders.
Well, you're right not to trust people, but you're not there anymore.
We don't report things to the state.
You can be free now.
What about the NSA?
What about Twitter?
How many people, this is your whole shtick, people losing their jobs all the time.
So you think it's as bad as Russia here?
It's on the way, yeah.
In some ways.
They're trying to make it as bad as Russia.
Well, that's because the people you're talking about are communists.
I don't know what the communists per se, but they're certainly totalitarian.
Maybe I got the wrong idea when I saw their giant flags that had hammers and sickles on them.
Well, I don't think all those white nationalists are literally Nazis either.
Yeah, but they say they're not Nazis.
Right.
And these people don't say they're communists.
Yes, they do.
In fact, they have a saying, full communism.
That's not a saying, really.
That is.
That's not a saying.
It's just like an extra.
It's like a slogan.
No, no, they use it all the time.
In fact, there's some band that just put out an album called Full Communism.
See, I can't fully attack them because my favorite slogan of theirs is liberals get the bullet too.
And what does that mean?
It means you lefties aren't safe.
We're going up against the wall just with the right.
Who says it's communists?
The Antifas, yeah.
Oh, I see.
I see what you're saying.
Yeah, downtown boys.
Oh, check.
So you're saying that Antifa hates liberals too.
Yeah, they hate them.
They hate them.
They hate the SPLC.
Well, I mean, and they hate them because it's like Hillary Clinton is such, as an example, what they hate, she is a puppet of the corporations, just like Mitt Romney.
So if they're anti-corporate, right, which they are, she's clearly going to be what they're against because she's co-opting the left in service to big business.
You're really diving into it.
It's the first day of 2018.
We just had New Year's Eve last night.
Yeah, well, I don't drink it.
And you don't drink at all.
Well, you guys, but all you guys do is drink.
That's like a Scotsman not playing the bagpipes.
I wouldn't know about that.
It's true.
There is a lot of drinking in Russia.
Yeah, they carry around, they drink like this.
They'll just have a large glass of vodka.
Yeah, Russians, yeah, and there's a lot of fighting because of a lot of the drinking.
And it's freezing cold, and it's communist.
No thanks.
I'm here.
H-E-R-E.
Not interested.
But to get back to what you're saying about Antifa, I know you're a fervent anarchist who even thinks libertarians are not even close to good enough.
I wouldn't say that.
I think I heard you say they're the worst people alive.
No, no, no, no.
I would say neocons are the worst.
Oh, okay.
I always say conservatism is the vilest political philosophy.
It depends what you mean by libertarian.
I mean, you're libertarian.
So I guess in that sense, they are the worst people alive.
But then there's other libertarians who are actually Decent.
Well, I think if we're talking about political spectrums, I'm somewhere past libertarian, towards anarchy.
If you're talking about spectrum, that means autism, which means libertarian.
But what disturbs me about your anti-fuss slogans is as a strident anarchist, I think you have some sympathy.
I think you kind of like them deep down.
I like that they're exposing the left for what they are.
What?
Because the left has this veneer of civility, that we're the good guys.
We're all in agreement.
It's just smeltering is all.
It's just we're all good guys.
You know, we're passing these laws with the consensus of the majority.
And Antifa is showing what happens when you defy these people.
The mask drops and they're savages.
Who?
The left.
So Antifa.
Antifa is what the left really is.
Oh, so I'm caught up now.
So you're saying you like Antifa because they're a great example of what horrible people are.
I wouldn't say I like Antifa, but they serve a purpose.
They are an educational example of, yeah, this is what leftism really means.
Ah, okay.
So do you think that they're anarchists?
They call themselves anarchists, but they're also very big on like estate taxes and, you know, socialized medicine.
So that's not really what anarchism is.
Well, they also say, I'm a communist.
And they don't see any problem supporting communism and anarchy at the same time.
There were many communist anarchists, like Emma Goldman, and there was a whole school of anarchist communism, Kropotkin.
I never really understood that.
Because it makes no sense in real life.
Absolutely crazy.
And the idea that basically everyone is voluntarily going to get along voluntarily, which is how no animal works, let alone humans.
Well, that is, I think, a big problem with the left, is this obsession with hypotheticals.
And we all have to dwell, we're all these philosopher kings in academia, like the cake crap, right?
Oh, God, yeah.
If you're baking cakes for people, you have to bake cakes for gays.
Because if you're supplying things to people, you have to supply them to everyone.
You can't discriminate.
And you go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that.
And you're right.
But it's just a cake.
Shut up, okay?
Go get it together.
I don't get about the cake example.
If you're a gay marriage, why the f ⁇ aren't you going to a gay baker?
Because you know the cake's going to be made prettier.
That straight baker is going to do a sh ⁇ job.
And you know they have bakery.
Watch your language, please.
We don't have swearing on this.
Sorry.
Okay.
That's CR-TV, not your compound media run by a shock jock.
I'm sorry.
I'm trying to shock anyone here.
It was all triggered.
Well, they clearly go to these bakeries because they want drama, and it is more of the reigning hypothetical class.
Like even Bill Schultz, who was just on my show many days ago, and he was talking about the fact that I'm against the Islamification of Britain.
And he goes, yeah, that's starting to sound racist.
And they have all this, like, that could lead to this.
And it's all maybe's.
And you think, can you just put your boots on the actual ground and walk to a different baker and shut up?
Well, I think there's also something with the left where being a victim is a sign of like a rite of passage.
So that way, if part of your wedding, you were kind of part of an oppressed minority and you have something to show for it, this makes a great wedding story.
Yeah, it does.
I think also, too, Chadwick.
I think about it.
I'm sorry to interrupt you, but like 10 years ago, you can't get gay married.
Now it's like, okay, where am I going to find my oppression, you know, vis-a-vis my marriage?
The cake.
It's got to be the cake.
It's not going to be the guest list.
Yeah.
Well, Chadwick Moore, do you know who he is?
So he was on Tucker and he dared to say gays aren't political.
And that's been my experience.
You know, if you're known as a, like, say you were Richard Spencer and you walked into a hipster bar.
Have my nipples showing?
You walked into a hipster bar, everyone would have a heart attack.
But if you walked into a black bar in Harlem and you're Richard Spencer, people would be like, hey, what's up?
Like they have no idea who he is because it's a very white thing, all this stuff.
And I don't think this political bitching is a very gay thing.
I think the people who got like Brendan Icke fired, they're a tiny contingent of WASP who are annoying.
No, it's a WASP thing.
And as different groups try to adopt, I talk about this in my forthcoming book, as different groups try to adopt white culture, WASP culture, this is what they do.
This is why the Jews out WASP the WASPs.
Oh, that's an interesting theory.
I'm glad you brought it up so I don't get in trouble for bringing it up.
You're still going to get in trouble.
Jewish guy brought this up, okay?
SPLC.
It reminds me of another Jewish guy who said, I go, why do Jews hate Trump?
All of his kids who can legally have sex are having sex with Jews right now.
Well, married to Jews, yes.
You know that joke?
One-year-old isn't.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and the typical New York City Jew?
if he has Jewish grandchildren.
And Ivanka went It's just weird.
It's like a howdy-doody thing with the laugh track.
Am I supposed to say Bazinga?
That one didn't work.
Okay, see, this is why I don't have the laugh track off here.
Well, maybe if you stopped inhaling helium so much, you wouldn't feel like you were on a children's show.
Sorry.
Ivanka went way more Jewish than most Jews.
You've got to study the Torah and go through all these tests and everything.
And he said to me, he goes, the reason that my father hates Trump and everyone in our community is they're trying to be wasps.
And they think it's waspy to hate Trump.
So they ignore the pro-Israel stuff.
They ignore the pro-Jew stuff.
And they go, we hate him too.
Look about the early 20th century.
You had all the German Jews who were highfalutin, and then you had the Jews coming into the ghetto who were ghetto trash.
It's very similar, like bougie blacks and ghetto blacks, right?
And they're like, oh, we're not like them.
And they did everything they could to arm's length and say, like, we are the good guys, and they're trash.
They have nothing to do with us.
You see the same thing with whites in the South.
It's like, we're the good whites, we're in the North, but the South, oh, those people are trash.
Every racist stereotype that they used to have towards Southern blacks now just went to Southern whites.
There's a great book about this called Good White People by this woman, Shannon Sullivan, who's a college professor, who's very left.
And she goes, all you did is just switch, and she quotes Jim Goat at length.
She goes, all you did was just take all these racist tropes about blacks.
They're subhuman, they're inbred, they're lazy, they're illiterate, and now you just put them to southern whites, and you didn't bat an eye.
And you're somehow you're the good guys.
Well, I think political correctness is classism.
Oh, yes, absolutely.
No, no, it's people of color this year.
It was African-American last year.
It was black, it was Negro.
And the working class is meant to constantly look up to the upper class academics and say, what do I call them this year?
How should I speak?
What should I do, master?
Well, also, like the Harlem Renaissance in the 20s, was it Langston Hughes, I think, who talked about when the Negro was in vogue.
The Harlem Renaissance wasn't that all of a sudden blacks were created.
It was that all of a sudden that Manhattan whites recognized them.
And then when the Depression hit, they all went in the trash, and they didn't lose any sleep over it.
And these poor black people, like Zorneal Hurston, had to become a maid.
So this is very much, all of cultural history in America, very heavily skewed toward an urban wasp prism.
And then people who are trying to be wasps.
Well, what you're saying.
And again, it's like, these are not our kind of people, like that kind of thing.
This is not our kind of music, not our kind of language.
These are all like puritanical approaches to culture, language, and communication.
It's pretty heavy for people that are hungover.
But I think what you're doing, too, is saying it's an anti-eugenics argument in a sense.
And you're saying these people who are wherever they are are not there because they're genetically born that way.
There's a latent classism that permeates everything.
And it's not black versus white, it's rich versus poor.
Yeah.
That's what Jim Goad was saying.
Absolutely.
Redneck Manifesto, although I think he's backpedaled, not backpedaled, but he's evolved on that point a little bit.
I mean, it's a little more complicated than that, but I mean, you see how people, I mean, you have different groups and they go to college and they're all talking the same way.
And it's that same sneer, you know, clutching at pearls, disdain, like I'm the good guy.
It's not like I disagree with you or whatever.
It's like I'm the good guy here to tell you who's trash, how to act and how to behave.
And it also gets so dehumanizing that it's okay to kill these people.
Like when you, they keep saying Trump's Nazis, everyone likes him as Hitler.
Republicans are evil, Nazis, Nazis, Nazis.
And the next thing you know, it's good for you to kill them.
You're preventing World War III.
And I keep going back to what Lauren Southern saw in Berkeley, where she saw them grabbing MAGA guys, and she saw Antifa with plastic bags trying to get them over their heads.
Jesus Christ.
And look at Roger Ills when he was, the body was still warm.
They were all dancing on his grave, screaming.
They have dehumanized the left to the point where if I died tomorrow, there'd be memes and it would be funny jokes everywhere.
It would be pretty funny.
It's funny.
No, the left can't meme.
They'd be terrible.
I know, but I could do a pretty good job of it.
would you do?
I would put, well, I'm not going to say, but you know whenever people die on, When people die, I always put up a fake photo with a fake quote on Twitter.
Like, for example, when Nelson Mandela died, right?
I did on my Facebook, Rest in Peace, Nelson Mandela, Liberator of South America, with a picture of Desmond Tutu.
And then everyone started befriending me.
They're like, oh, my God, da-da-da-da.
So I do that for everyone who dies.
So you would get maybe a picture of Donald Sutherland with AIDS and say, goodnight, Sweet Prince?
I don't know about that.
I'll tell you during the commercial break.
Well, the reason I bring it up, though, is when you dehumanize these people, it becomes, I'm the one who gets dehumanized.
So I don't like it.
I don't want to be stabbed.
And then no one peels back the layers and goes, what is the origin of this?
Like with the Jewish thing, the country clubs.
Yes.
The rumor was always, like Sarah Silverman would say, if you're a member of a country club that doesn't allow Jews, it's like you're a member of a group that has secret clan members or something.
You shouldn't do that.
And I thought, that's a valid point.
Okay, it would be weird.
Like, can I bring Michael Malice with me to the country club?
No.
And then Steve Saylor checks it out.
And obviously it's not true today anywhere.
But he checked it out in the 50s and he discovered, wait a minute, these Jews who were being rejected from country clubs were being rejected from Jewish country clubs.
Yes.
It was Eastern European Jews who weren't allowed in Western Europe.
And Jewish clubs and WASPI clubs, they didn't really want to go to the other one.
Because you go to the Jewish country club, this is Sailor talking.
He said it's just schlatkas and vlodkas and 10 million different fish type things and then one bottle of booze at the end if you insist.
And then you go to the WASP one and it's just like rows and rows of bottles with like a bun.
Same with blacks and groups like Lynx.
They have something called the paperbag test.
They used to have back in the day.
If you were darker than a paper bag, you couldn't join.
I'm not making this up.
I mean, I learned this working with D.L. Hughley.
Like, this was a slow thing in black culture, colorism.
And when you hear about it, like our people on the right, they think, oh, black people are just always complaining.
No, no, no, this has been a thing for a very long time, even during slavery.
I mean, compare how you would carry yourself to your freed black who's educated versus a slave in chain.
Oh, I wouldn't even let them touch me.
Yeah, it's like I'm nothing to do with those people.
I'm one of you.
I'm, you know, I'm the elite.
Yeah, I remember Sarush Alvi, the guy I started Vice with, we would go to Costa Rica in the summers, and he was Pakistani.
He'd come back, and he'd be much darker, like anyone would care.
And his mother, who is a really smart academic, she's a professor, she would be beside herself.
Sarush, what are you doing?
You have sunscreen available to you.
You're basically black as coal.
I went Jamaican at the end.
Magwan!
So did he.
So it's perfectly appropriate.
Have you seen Sammy Sosa recently?
Oh, God, yeah.
See if you can dig up a picture.
He's a ghost.
That is so disturbing.
Now, did he do his whole body, I want to know?
No, I don't.
My wife said that.
She goes, what does his penis look like?
Because it'd be so weird to be naked with the guy, and he has a white head and white hands.
There's a white elephant sale to be made, joke here to be made, and I don't know what it is.
There he is.
Look at him.
It's sad.
But you see this, anyone who's traveled everywhere you go, I'm not just talking about dark countries like Jamaica and India, but even in Southeast Asia.
Do you see these ads for whitening cream everywhere?
In Japan.
In Japan they want to be whiter.
They're dark in Japan.
Yeah, you want to be pearl-colored.
Which is weird because who are you separating yourself from?
There's no one in Japan but Japanese.
I guess they have like three Southeast Asians.
Yeah, but that's the whole thing.
It's a classism.
You have a status.
No matter what group you have, you're going to have a hierarchy.
This is what the anarchists and communists didn't get.
They think once you get rid of the government, everyone's going to be the same.
It's like, literally, the term pecking order comes from chickens.
So even birds know to establish a pecking order.
I used to have aquariums, right?
And I had five fish in my tank from each different ocean.
It just worked out that way.
And they fucking figured out who's going to eat first.
So you're always going to have an order, and they think this order is imposed when it's perfectly natural and inevitable.
Is it possible, though, Michael, that some people are just superior?
Yes.
Like Sean Lennon.
I've hung out with him a few times.
Jeez.
Did you ever give him a copy of Catcher in the Rise a joke?
No.
And I don't like that joke.
Soon?
What's that joke about how do you get a Beatles reunion, two more bullets?
Yeah.
You like the Beatles, Grandpa?
No, no.
I hate the Beatles.
I'm not a fan at all.
But you're straying from my point, and I'm so selfish that that's why I'm not.
Ah, fair.
Point-conceited.
I'm not getting the attention I want.
This is to be the issue here.
But his mother comes from a long line of samurais, and he's an incredibly intelligent person.
She's not trolling you.
Maybe.
It's possible that is also proof that he's better than me.
He's trolling me.
So whether his comes from a long line of samurais or he doesn't, I believed it, and that's still my point.
and I don't know, I think sometimes maybe you're special.
Yes, like the Knights of Columbus, the Masons, they all have their groups, but there's I've heard that there are these sort of elite things where they go, yeah, he's chosen.
Yeah.
And then you go meet at a different thing.
Like the Proud Boys.
We have a separate meeting at this giant hall with seven guys that there's gold walls, and you have to push a bookcase, you go like this, and is that the where you guys pee at each other's mouths?
I don't like it phrased like that.
It's called fluid sharing.
Proud Fountains.
I don't know how that got out.
Proud Fountains.
Someone's going to die.
You just killed someone.
They talk about it at Bohemian Grove.
We're going to go through the tapes now.
They talk about at Bohemian Grove.
Bohemian Grove.
Do you believe Bohemian Grove is remotely controversial?
Yes.
Keep steady.
100% because you saw when Alex Jones confronted David Gergen.
Did you not see this footage?
I've heard of this footage.
No, no, if you watch it, it's not possible to watch this footage and think, oh, okay, nothing's going on.
Okay, can you look up David Gherkin, Alex Jones, Bohemian Grove?
I believe, before, and I haven't seen this yet, I believe Bohemian Grove is just a bunch of rich, powerful people who hang out and drink and tell dirty jokes.
Maybe get prostitutes.
I believe that too.
I think a lot of this conspiracy stuff is crap, and it's just like, it sounds cool because you can't see it.
And then you go there, you're like, oh, this is lame.
Yeah, I've been trying to get in.
No, no, no.
Then you watch this and you're like, okay, something really crazy is going on.
Is this a three-hour interview?
It's like two minutes, literally.
The worst font.
I think it's from 1990.
David Gerd, top presidential advisor to Ford, raving your mouse.
You could cut to the interview.
I know someone who goes to Bohemian Grove.
You know who?
No, who?
Marshall Bell.
Who's that?
He's the dad in Stand By Me.
He's the guy who has Quado come out of his belly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he goes, yeah, we just sit around, drink whiskey, and tell fart jokes.
I would think so until I watched this.
And this was like, whoa.
There's a look on his face.
Be clear, folks at home, we are just discussing this subject.
I'm not saying that Bohemian Grove.
I don't want to be, I don't want this show to become crackpot flat earth society.
That ship has sailed.
But let me be clear.
I don't want anyone to know yet.
I'm trying to delay my inevitable firing.
Did you crash it?
Yes.
Yeah, and it has no trespassing signs there, too, doesn't it?
No, they put me right after.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, sir.
I've been there before.
I know what the circumstances are, and I'm sorry you violated the understandings.
That was not a gentlemanly thing to do.
What about the ritual?
Is the ritual gentlemanly?
It's titanium that Alex Jones got of the behavior grove.
Okay.
Sir, everything.
I don't owe you this comment.
This is what's called ambush journalism, and I disrespect you for that as well.
So thank you for that's none of your damn business.
Oh, that's your smoking gun.
This is a guy who's a presidential advisor.
You can make understandings with people and violate them.
You ambush people on the streets, and that's inappropriate form of journalism.
If you wish to practice that, that's fine.
But don't ask others to respect you for it.
You can do it.
You're free American like anything you want.
If you want to be uncivil and rude and ungentlemanly, that's up to you.
But don't expect the rest of us to say, oh, well, you're a man.
I'm sorry.
Nobody says policy in there.
We try to be gentlemen, and obviously...
We've been spotted with the city.
You're telling me that if you got stopped in the street, you'd ever react like that?
Yes, I would react like that.
If you asked me about Proud Boys' rituals, I'd say, you're goddamn rude.
You don't come up to me on the street.
Young man, I am trying to go about my day.
I'm trying to do my television show.
And I got you here with the microphone in my face like a goddamn miscreant.
I thought that was very out of character for Gergen.
And I thought it was.
I think there are rituals there.
I think that's harmless.
The know-nothings, the odd fellows, the Knights of Columbus, everyone has rituals.
It's a guy thing.
Oh, I agree.
You don't sacrifice a baby.
I'm not saying that they do either, but I'm saying I think there's something to it.
Something weird.
That's it.
Rituals could be weird in and of themselves, don't you agree?
That is the least smoky smoking gun I've ever seen in my life.
Okay.
The rumors of Bohemian Grove is that like major world leaders meet there and they plan with the Fed and then the bank and the military industrial complex and just a bunch of rich guys, I don't know, burning a log and putting on a funny suit.
Yeah.
But that's weird.
It sounds fun.
It's gonna be both.
Weird is fun often.
I want to go.
I want to be in groups.
Like I want to go to Rayo's.
You know the pasta sauce?
What?
Rayo's is this Italian restaurant and it seats like 13 people.
How do you pronounce that word?
I don't know.
You say it like a yolk lamp.
You said like British pasta.
R-A-O.
Oh, pasta.
Pasta.
Sorry.
Yeah, pasta.
My kids always make fun of me.
That's one of my final Canadian hangings on.
And Antarctica.
What is it?
Antarctica.
Oh, see, we pronounce the words better.
Sure.
Say pasta.
It's an A. It's not pasta.
That's also an A. Pa?
Yeah, I guess so.
Like paw?
Monkey's paw?
Yeah, okay, you won.
You won this round.
We can clip that.
Michael Malice obliterates Gavin McInnes in debate about the letter A. Completely destroys.
That's like these Finkton Post betas.
The only time they get any action is with the Finkton Post.
Eviscerates.
You're like, what?
Poor Jon Stewart, his entrails are hanging out?
You're going to get an infection.
How do they do that?
Oh, and then you watch it.
I saw one recently.
It was like, Greg Guttfeld destroys, eats alive, Patton Oswalt.
And you read it and you're like, man, you're both kind of right.
That was funny, that Twitter war.
Yeah, but I don't think Greg Guttfeld was the victor.
No, I think they were both like, eh, eh, eh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now you've interrupted me so many times.
Pasta, you're talking about pasta and then sauce.
Yes.
So Rayo's Italian restaurant.
It's this Italian restaurant where the top, top elite, elite, elite, sort of like Bohemian Grove, they get a seat there and you get a seat maybe once every four months and it's they choose you, they choose the customers and it's a huge honor to be there.
They don't make any money from the restaurant.
They just license the pasta sauce and that's a giant factory that does it.
But getting in that restaurant is a huge deal and I am getting in there just because I want to get in there.
Like I want to go to Bohemian Grove.
I want to be at Rayo's.
I'm not saying I want to be like I want to have a Gucci purse or anything.
I just like want to be in the club and then look around.
But don't you remember before your book came out, you thought to yourself, your first book, wow, once I have a book out, it's going to change my life forever.
It's going to be so awesome.
And then it's such a non-issue.
No, it's not that.
I'm not looking for a life change.
I just want to be in that room.
Like I want to be in this club and that club and this club and have the cards collected in my wallet.
Okay.
I get it.
Like New York Athletic Club.
I thought, I want to get in there.
How much is it?
It's about 50 grand.
I'm Scottish.
Yeah.
500 bucks would piss me off.
Yeah.
And but it was good for business and advertising to know people there and you keep meeting clients.
You paid it?
Well, what it did was I flew the whole company to Montreal.
We joined the Montreal Athletic Club for about $200 each.
Oh my God.
And then we flew back and all you have to do is call like a day in advance and go, hey, we're going to be in New York for the day.
And we're wondering if we can come to the New York Athletic Club.
And they'd go, sure, weird frog.
So your next tattoo has to be a number on your forearm because that's the most Jewish thing I've ever.
You guys are nothing with cheap.
And I'm sick of Jews saying they're cheap.
Let's just edit their dreams.
Can we just edit it?
I'm sick of juice.
My hand, too, was kind of...
You can...
It's a nice gift, like Laura Ingram, and she's like waving at people and they just stop it like there.
I can't.
I've already used my limit on those.
Even when I discuss Z. Kyle, I go like this.
Like, my brother's name's Kyle.
And if people say, hey, man, Kyle's in trouble.
Did you see Kyle?
And I'll go, no.
And they'll go, what?
Because he's going to die if you don't tell me where he is.
I did not see Kyle.
And then my poor brother will starve to death or get stuck in a manhole because I don't want to say I see Kyle.
He's in an attic and he's very hungry.
Not my brother.
We have a sandwich to give him.
Did you see Kyle?
No!
Okay, I guess I'll throw it in the garbage and let him starve.
Sorry, buddy.
It's not worth it.
I blame FDR.
Really?
The New Deal?
The joke would be it's his fault for not saving your brother.
Too soon?
I don't get it.
Would you like a Japanese concentration camp joke instead?
Would that be better?
Yeah.
Well, I don't have one.
Oh, wow.
That was one of the worst lulls in the history of the show.
I do bring the lulls.
Thank you.
L-U-L.
We're running out of time here.
But we covered so much ground.
We have covered a lot of ground, I think.
No, I think the Bahamian Grove thing, I don't care about, but I really think it's an interesting question to look at this fundamental classism that America thinks they've avoided.
Because in Britain, obviously, you have the, hello, how are you?
And that's that class.
And no one who talks like that is ever going to be at party with that guy.
And America goes, we don't have that stuff.
But you see these inklings of it.
And I think political correctness is an example.
You see bumper stickers that say, my boy's at Harvard or UMass or some good school.
And that's their sort of...
And I'm not joking.
So it's very much this, going back to Cotton Mather and the witch hunts, this is a puritanical, white, waspy domination of culture.
And like, this is what you look like.
This is what music you listen to.
This is how you talk.
These are the shows you watch.
These are your politics.
You have a box.
You could have slightly left-wing version, which is the conservatives.
You got the left-wing version, which is the Democrats.
Anything out of this box, you're wrong and bad in Beneath Us.
Yeah, Beneath Us is the big one, too.
Because if it wasn't Beneath Us, it would be, I think you're wrong.
Let's argue.
Like with sports, you have your team, the Mets, and if someone likes the Yankees, you go, what do you do with the Yankees?
What is your favorite superhero, Superman?
You don't go, you're human garbage.
You need to die.
Right, right.
And you see this with the National Review people.
Like, what's Kevin Williams?
Where he's like, let's just wait for these people to die off in the Midwest.
I mean, it's things like that.
I mean, the idea that you could blithely talk about people dying off in groups just shows this is some kind of ideology that's removed from reality.
And it shows it's part of daycares, it's part of bubble living, and it shows someone hasn't seen people die.
And the other thing I always wonder with these people is, what are you going to do with racists in your culture when a racist has a vote?
I mean, they pretend like these people are somehow going to vanish and cease to exist.
That's not how democracy works.
But I don't think racists exist.
What do you mean racist?
You don't think racists exist?
I don't think there's racism in America.
Okay.
I mean, there's racism against whites, I guess.
But for the most part, I think for everything bad that happens to a person of color, there's someone else trying to push them up, and you end up basically the same.
Okay, but that still means racism exists.
There's this countervail forces.
There's a thin veneer.
Sure.
Like if you meet a black guy and he likes the same teams as you and he can't believe that people have sandwiches without toasted bread and he goes and you hear him say, it's like having two socks with meat and cheese in the middle.
Why do you want to bite into a sock?
And the racist goes, I know.
And how hot is it to toast something?
Like, you shouldn't even have a sandwich shop if you can't toast bread.
Best friends.
What kind of fanfic are you writing?
I didn't follow any of it.
It's like a was it buddy's?
I'm saying you take the Archie Bunker archetype of a racist, right?
And if this evil black person that he supposedly hates says one thing that they have in common.
Oh, yeah, yeah, because it's very classist, right?
Right, right.
Like people in unions.
Yes.
Yes.
Well, that's the beauty of sports, and it's annoying that liberals are trying to ruin it so much, because you go to a ball game, and it's the most multicultural, diverse thing ever, and they're all focused on one thing that has nothing to do with race.
Well, I guess in basketball it does, but it's all about this guy has an abnormal skill.
Let's watch him use it.
But That's what totalitarian means.
Totalitarian means you can't have anything outside the purview of your ideology.
So they've got to be everywhere by definition.
I mean, they're even, I talk about this in the book also, they went after sci-fi and fantasy.
So even if you go to another planet or back in time, you can't escape their worldview.
There's got to be, they were flipping out, I think it was like in 1990, 91, when Star Trek had a black Vulcan.
And they're like, it's about time.
And it's like the idea that race is a great thing.
What are we, outer spacist?
But it's also the idea that on other planets, races are going to evolve the same that they evolved on Earth is psychotic.
And it only makes sense if you think that your worldview has to be the same literally everywhere in the universe throughout time.
What is this book you're talking about?
My book on the New Right.
I'm pretending I don't know, so you can talk about it.
Oh, it comes out in April.
There's a chapter on you.
Oh, okay.
You know what I like about the term new right?
You look at Wikipedia and they go back 100 years and they talk about Australia New Right and all these different evolutions in Britain and stuff.
And for the most part, I read it and I went, yeah, that's pretty on point.
I would say I'm that.
Yeah.
Socially liberal goes back and forth, but it's always fiscally conservative.
No, I think a lot of these of the alt-right people who fall in this bigger umbrella are actually not fiscally conservative.
Oh, so you would put alt-right in New Right?
Yeah, so for me, New Right is a group of people who are united by their perception of progressivism as a barely disguised religion intent on complete cultural domination in furtherance of global world hegemony.
Sometimes you Russians sound like someone has a gun to your head.
I have to have a specific definition.
So when I go on these different shows, I'm sure they're going to be like, oh, so you're a Nazi?
And it's like, no, this is not Nazi.
It's not a Nazi at all.
So I'm trying to be as scholarly as possible because there's also this attempt to dismiss this whole school of thought as basically internet trolls.
And these people are idiots.
They don't know what they're talking about.
It's like, these people are actually often very, very bright and very, very autistically educated about what topic they happen to be interested in.
Yeah, I see the new right as distinct, though.
I see the new right as sort of near the paleocons.
Yes.
Buchanan.
And then I see a definitive line.
Then I see Buchanan.
Then I see a definitive line.
And then I see the alt-right.
Way over here.
Whenever you have these definitive lines in politics, they're really never definitive.
There's always the kind of a spillover.
And we want to make their definitive lines, but it's not really the case.
Maybe a Venn diagram a little bit.
Sure.
But I actually see the alt-right has gone so far to the right, they fell off the cliff.
That's my point in the book.
You're supposed to take one red pill, not the whole bottle.
Well, they get socialists.
They're passionately atheists.
They really seem to hate religion.
Well, a lot of them are into paganism, right?
Because it's like this pre-Nazi pagan worldview.
They're into that.
Right.
And the way they talk about decadence and stuff and degeneracy.
Degeneracy means racism.
It means something I don't like.
Okay.
It's just like this is degeneracy.
When they use it, it's to mean like, oh, you hang around with homosexualism.
They've got drag queens everywhere.
There's just people doing cracks.
It just means that which I don't like is degenerate.
I understand.
But King Tut was wearing makeup, right?
King Tut was a god-emperor, not Trump.
King Tut was literally a god-emperor.
And he's in makeup.
And he's like 15 when he dies.
I understand.
But when I hear the alt-right say it, I know they're talking about like, say, Milo.
It's Milo's sexual orientation.
Right.
And they remind me of the Puritans.
They remind me of like the new Victorians.
And they kind of sound like social justice warriors.
Yes.
They tell you that sex is gross and how you're supposed to have sex and this is disgusting and this is wrong.
And they're atheists and they like socialism.
That's why I like the political spectrum to be a donut because the alt-right and the alt-left are touching.
Well, that's horseshoe theory.
Yeah, well, the horseshoe theory, they're just close.
I glue them right together.
Well, that's the other thing.
Like, they were all flipping out over.
There was this photo of a drag queen reading to kids in kindergarten.
It's like, oh, my God.
It's like, kids understand dress-up.
They don't think this is some, they just think this is like a princess or a demon.
They don't think anything.
True, true, but there is something else going on there.
There is, because there's also the attempts to teach the kids about sexuality, which is completely a different situation.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I don't, per se, have a problem with some guy coming and going, hi, I'm a lady, doo-doo-doo.
And then there's another character, I'm a fire engine.
That's funny.
But Alex Jones had this drag queen show in Austin where it was drag queens come out and the kids are like, yeah, that's a lady, whatever.
And then they start pumping and grinding and they've got thongs on and now it's a sexual thing.
More sexual than any drag queen show I've ever seen.
Right.
Yeah, and that's absolutely crazy.
I went to a drag queen restaurant with Milo and Pamela Geller.
Oh, which one?
The Madam Chang's, whatever it is?
No, I think it's called Lips.
Oh, God.
Oof.
Okay.
But it was remarkably half-assed.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, they didn't even have high-heel shoes on.
Really?
Yeah.
All of them had flats, but all the iconography was high-heeled shoes.
Yeah.
Welcome to naughty ladies.
Hi, girl.
And they're just sitting there serving drinks.
Lazy New Yorkers, you know, who are just trying to get Coke money.
And their wigs askew.
Wigs are kind of sweaty.
And I was just like, what is this culture?
And then they get on stage and they lip sync.
Yeah.
And you're like, this is sub-karaoke.
Yeah.
At least with karaoke, you have to use your pipes.
And then Pamela and I...
Right, there was one or two of them.
Yes, and they get the credit.
What a talent.
Singing is a talent.
Sort of.
You don't think singing is a talent?
I think it's a very easy talent to acquire.
It's like acting.
Okay.
I mastered both like in a month.
Yeah.
I did.
I'm an incredible actor.
When are you going to mastered running a talk show?
TikTok, Larice.
Baby steps.
Yeah, I definitely think I am 35% of the way where I want to be with a talk show.
But with singing, I've gone off because I stopped karaokeing, but I was at 80, 90.
Yeah, I believe it.
It's not hard to get decent.
Yeah.
Same with acting.
Yeah, I saw a scene where you were teaching your kid in the movie how to perform oral.
I'm going to try to say oral acts.
I'm like, okay, this is acting because you are acting as his dad.
It was believable.
Yeah.
You just believe it.
And then when you see bad acting, you go, this is, you can't do something so easy.
And even, there's even a director there, by the way, saying, no, no, no, be like this.
What are we doing here?
Okay.
What are we doing here?
And the director has to go, what are we doing here?
Okay, what are we doing here?
And you go, you're incompetent.
You can't even talk.
What are you doing on earth?
But yes, I see the old right and the old left as a donut.
And I think that we're running out of time here, so I'm winding it up.
That this communist need to dehumanize people so you can dispose of their bodies is what makes Russia so horrible.
It's what makes America so great that we don't have that or didn't have that.
And I love talking to you because you've had your feet held to the flames.
You've been in Russia.
And I remember something you said.
North Korea, too.
North Korea.
You said something I never thought of before.
You said there's these informants.
There's many such cases.
This one was a doozy.
And you said, there's obviously informants in any communist country.
And like any business, like any job, if you're giving up parking tickets, you better have your pad empty at the end of the week or you're going to get fired.
So these informants need someone.
And eventually, they start choosing that guy.
Yeah.
Or mom.
There was a, my wife told me about this book she read where there was a guy in North Korea.
He was born in the re-education.
Yeah, escaped from Camp 14.
Is that it?
And he ratted out his mother.
Yeah.
Because she was planning an escape or something.
And he thought that was a very noble thing to do.
He's very proud of himself.
And so, in that culture...
So you were taught this school.
Oh, and he's a national hero.
That kid.
Yeah.
You were taught this in school to turn your parents into the cops.
So it's particularly insidious because you're sitting there with your brother or your dad.
I never see Kyle.
You're sitting there with your brother going, yeah, oh yeah, that's nice, whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah, you had a good time, did you?
Yeah, I'm sure you did.
Sure you did.
So now you've severed friendships and family relationships.
No wonder they're drunk all the time.
What about ex-girlfriends?
Oh, yeah.
The guy's going to be in a position of power.
She's going to be lower, right?
And then she wants revenge because he cheated on her or something.
Or he just didn't return her call.
And so you'll have these crazy bitches.
They're not crazy.
They're perfectly sane.
They know what they're doing.
These homicidal mania.
And what happens?
Like, I know in North Korea, you go to the re-education camp.
They practice vivisection on you or whatever.
Say you and I were in Russia.
Yeah.
And I was a secret informant, and I went up and I was just in a bad mood because you farted on my date.
And she was there.
Not gay.
And I go up to the authorities and I say, Michael Malice is very bad.
He's involved in all kinds of things.
He wants to take down state.
What exactly happens to you now?
That would be stupid because that's a bold accusation, right?
If you're accusing me of like, he wants to shoot the president in America, right?
It's like, do you want to shoot the president?
No, okay, fine.
If you say, oh, I caught him taking money from this other person or someone who you know is shady in the town, like there are ways to do it to be clever.
It's got to be plausible and it's got to be not that big a deal.
And then it's like, okay.
So it also, I mean, towards the end, it wasn't anywhere near as dangerous as it was like under Stalin.
But you could really, it's just like calling HR because now they have to investigate.
And what happens to you, though?
Do you go to prison?
No, but you could lose your job or you could, you know, I think that's the big one.
Because we had a libertarian on the show who had a, they went to Adam Smith conference and everyone there was arrested, rounded up in a paddy wagon.
Wait, in Russia?
In Russia, yeah.
Oh, wow.
When did this happen?
Dave will have to look it up.
Wow.
But I talked to Russians who go, no, no, that's exaggeration.
There was anarchist meeting at the same time and they didn't know who was who.
And I'm like, okay, so you can't have an anarchist meeting?
No, but anarchist in there means terrorist.
You know, like anarchy in the UK means I want to be a terrorist.
I want to destroy passers-by.
That's the lyric.
So when they're talking about an anarchist meeting, they mean people are going to blow up things.
Okay.
So this isn't sounding so bad.
I was hoping we could end this show with people being carted away.
This is how I want the show to end.
You say, yes, I would immediately be sent to Gulag.
Under Stalin, yes.
Under Stalin, yes.
And you know what else would happen?
That would be more modern than Stalin.
Under modern Stalin, not only am I punished, I'm beaten until I have to turn in 20 names.
And they were beaten until their eyes were popped out of their head, like literally that bad.
And what was hilarious is that when Stalin lay dying after his stroke, they had to get the doctors that they were torturing at that time out of the Kremlin to kind of help and save him because at the end of his life, Stalin wanted to kill all the doctors.
So that's how demented that country was.
Right, but I can't use that, Mike.
My premise here, and we may have to re-edit this so I can make my fake news.
My premise here is...
I don't agree with that friend there.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
And that's a very dangerous tendency because ultimately it leads to a Pinochet type of Chile where you get thrown in jail for being in the media and writing of something bad.
So happy ending.
Our helicopters.
Pinochet sounds too cool.
I shouldn't have used him.
He is the coolest.
Venezuela.
It ends up with a Venezuelan type of result.
And then you're supposed to say, well, that's what's happening right now with Putin.
If someone says something bad about you, you could go to prison tomorrow.
But I don't think that's true.
I think things are going to ruin my whole show.
Well, that's what I'm, I mean, that's usually what I do with any show.
So what you're saying, though, is this tendency could get worse and worse and worse and become as bad as Russia.
And we're still not going to be able to do it.
No, I'm saying this tendency has been here for a while and it's gotten weaker and weaker and weaker in their ability to enforce it.
Used to be sentenced for hard labor for sending sexual materials in the mail.
Where?
In America.
Moses Harmon.
Okay, I understand.
But recently, this group probably just had a guy who was banned from the Canadian border because they found Proud Boy stuff on his phone.
You mean banned from the border?
He was prevented from coming into Canada.
He wanted to go up there and just hang out for a day.
They said, no, you're part of this group.
It's Canada's fault.
Well, whatever.
It's just the West.
It's all the same.
If Canada and America are the same, then why are you here?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Because America's best.
You're saying America's the same as Germany.
This tendency of doxing and getting people fired and calling everyone a Nazi.
That's a North American European problem.
Yes.
And I'm saying it could get as bad as Russia.
Now you have to say, and Russia's really bad.
And Russia is really bad.
There.
Jesus Christ.
That was.
So there are still acting.
No, no.
Come on.
Are you serious?
Russia's really bad.
I'm not arguing.
There are people who are thrown in jail for having the wrong views.
There's tons of innocent people in jail.
You can't criticize Putin.
I don't think it's as bad as that.
I think Russia specifically can't be powerful and criticize Putin because those people have a way of being suicidal.
Ah, okay.
Although we got that with Hillary.
Correct.
So this.
Did you see that tweet someone, when Donna Brazil had her book come out?
Someone photoshopped a tweet of Hillary and goes, I'm very saddened to hear, I can't believe Donna Brazil said what she did, and I'm very saddened to hear of her forthcoming suicide.
It is spooky when you look all those up.
But that's a topic for another show is how bad is Russia?
How close are we?
How similar are we?
And are we headed there?
Right.
You got a tip of the iceberg on today's show with Mr. Malice.
Thank you for coming in.
And Malice, thank you.
Thanking you.
We look forward to your book in April.
Yes.
All about the new right.
Glowing chapter on me and how influential and intelligent I am, I assume.
That's true.
Yeah.
I didn't remember doing any photos.
You could have done a shirtless shot.
Oh, we watch you while you sleep.
Oh, yeah.
And you wet the bed from drinking.
Oh, yeah.
That's true.
Happy 2018, guys.
We're back to the normal studio tomorrow.
Normal shows, current events will be discussed much more.
I don't know why I've been avoiding current events the past week.
I just was sick of them.
But I'm going to be interested in them again tomorrow.
And we don't pre-tape here.
Get off my lawn.
And we never will.
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