GabCast Bellgab.com - 06 December, 2019

Dec. 6, 2019 - GabCast Bellgab.com

04:43:04

06 December, 2019

06 December, 2019 ---------- 2019: Azzerae hosts with Liberace, featuring appearances by starrmountain001, WOTR and others.

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	The following program sucks.
	We ain't got no fing microphone.
	We ain't got no speaker set up.
	And now, our feature presentation.
	This is the Gabcast, a podcast about bellgab.com.
	Call the show now at 573-837-4948.
	That's 573-837-4948.
	Now, shut up, sit down, and listen to the damn show.
	This show is so well produced at times.
	It's the Gabcast of Liberace.
	That's how you do it.
	Azeray's here.
	How's it going, Azerae?
	Hey.
	Well, I hear your voice when you're speaking, so that's usually a pretty good sign.
	We went through a lot of work last night to make sure that everything was going to work okay.
	Because, you know, really what it comes down to is in doing a radio show together, we are speaking to one another across a wire that's been laid across the Atlantic Ocean.
	Or do you think maybe they come around through the Pacific?
	I doubt that.
	That seems like the craziest way to do it.
	But then being at the southern tip of Africa, maybe it is better to go around the Pacific.
	I don't know.
	Maybe come out of San Francisco or LA and then just hook it around the Pacific and hit South Africa.
	I have no idea which is the best way to go.
	But nevertheless, it's a really, really long wire we're talking through.
	And even so, it sounds like he's right in the next room.
	If you want to be on the show tonight, the number to call 573-837-4948.
	It's 573-837-4948.
	And I will tell you, I have failed to really point this out on recent shows, but if you're going to call into the show tonight, please just call in on the phone number.
	Don't try and place an actual Skype call.
	Just call in on the phone number because when you call in through Skype, I have two Skype instances running on my computer, one for the co-host that would be Azure tonight, and one for callers.
	And since Microsoft has destroyed Skype, I have no way of knowing when someone calls me whether they're calling on the Skype that I'm talking to Azeray on or they're calling on the Skype that's intended for callers.
	I have no way of knowing until I actually answer it.
	And then if it turns out when I answer it that you're calling on the Skype that Azeray's talking to me on, it'll put him on hold.
	And in fact, that's what happened to Pate on the last Gab cast.
	I was so inebriated that someone called—who was it now?
	That was you, Azeray, that called in.
	And I had, I didn't know that you called in on the same Skype I was talking to Pate on, and it put him on hold.
	But I was just so gone that I didn't even realize he wasn't there.
	I just thought he wasn't talking much.
	And I ended up forgetting all about him.
	And, you know, I had to make amends later and let him know that it was nothing personal.
	And he totally forgave me.
	Forgiveness is certainly a quality that is in abundance with Pate.
	And I appreciate that.
	So if you want to call in, 573-837-4948.
	Azure, I want to say that it's a pleasure to have you here.
	And I think one of the reasons that I'm happier here is because you're probably, at this moment in time, one of the least expected people to co-host this show.
	I would imagine people would expect you last to be somebody who's co-hosting this show.
	I mean, is that your impression?
	That isn't my impression.
	I thought that they would expect you and I to do a show together, seeing as though I phoned in last week.
	Well, yeah, but phoning in and then having like a planned structured, we're going to sit down and do a show together, those are two totally different animals, I think.
	But I don't know.
	That's just my instinctive reaction to us doing this show together is that a lot of people wouldn't expect it.
	But that's the primary reason I wanted to do it, just because it's the last thing people would expect.
	And I guess the primary...
	What an edgelord you are.
	I live...
	I live so close to the bleeding edge that you should see the scars on my feet.
	It's the life I live, you know, and the amount of poon that it gets me, the amount of side poon that it gets me.
	I mean, when I'm out and about and I just tell strange women, you know, I'm having Azure on the Gabcast, right?
	And that's all it takes immediately.
	It's just I'm beating them off with a, well, a stick.
	I'm beating them off with a stick.
	So 573-837-4948.
	And you don't have to necessarily speak about anything that we're talking about.
	You could talk about something that has nothing to do with anything we've discussed on the show tonight.
	You can totally change the direction of the show.
	And if we need to, we'll take it back whenever we unceremoniously hang up on you.
	So 573-837-4948.
	Go ahead, Azure.
	I'm sorry.
	No, I'm sorry.
	Go ahead.
	I'm saying the number too many times.
	I think that's a record for the number of times I've said the phone number on the show.
	So you go right ahead.
	Yes, everybody.
	Call in.
	Call in with something that you think that you shouldn't say.
	Call in with things that you feel uncomfortable saying out loud.
	Call in with things that you might seem to think would make myself or the vanderhoeven uncomfortable.
	Because tonight, there's nothing off limits.
	We're going to get into everything.
	I don't want to be uncomfortable.
	I mean, I do have a velvet pillow nearby that I can comfort myself with in the event that it does get uncomfortable.
	But wow.
	Are you wearing your cape, MV?
	Are you wearing your cape liberachi?
	Well, actually, I'm wearing a magenta jalaba.
	So I'm dressed like an Islamic fundamentalist from the seventh century.
	I should be out sheepherding.
	You know, I tell you what, I really do look like an imam walking around the house wearing one of these, but it's just so comfortable.
	It's like you're wearing a mumu, and it's so unrestricted.
	And just one, I wish I could wear these just like out.
	I wish I could wear these to work.
	I wish I could conduct like my normal day-to-day life wearing one of these.
	But you just can't.
	You can't show up to work or in public.
	I mean, like the last meeting I had, desperately I wanted to show up in one of these.
	I've got about 10 of them of varying colors and varying sizes as well as my weight has fluctuated.
	But I was going to ask you about that, MV.
	I was going to ask you about that.
	People who wear mumus are usually rather rotund.
	How are things going with your diet and your exercise plan?
	And does your weight fluctuate?
	Does it go up and down?
	Are you happy where you are?
	I remember you saying at one point that Nabila called you a fat sack of shit or something.
	That was long ago.
	Well, I don't know if she now, you have to understand that I may have embellished a bit for the purpose of entertaining an audience, but had she said I was a fat sack of shit, it wouldn't have necessarily been inaccurate.
	So I'll put it to you that way.
	But I mean, who is happy with their weight?
	I'm not.
	No.
	Who is, though?
	But what do you eat, man?
	Like, do you are you overindulging in certain foods?
	Well, the problem is the problem with me is I don't exercise enough.
	I hate to exercise.
	It sounds like rush, man.
	It just nauseates me.
	And I'm not unwilling to admit that.
	I just hate to exercise.
	And I love to eat.
	And I would say I don't have a food addiction per se.
	You know, people use the term addiction to describe their relationship with food, but it seems to me that's a little bit of an inappropriate word to use to describe someone's relationship with food, even if they eat too much of it.
	Because food is something you have to have to live.
	You're going to die if you don't eat.
	You have to eat.
	Whereas any other substance that people would be addicted to, it's not.
	I can't think of any example where it's something you're going to have.
	What is somebody addicted to water?
	I don't know of that.
	I've never heard of that.
	So food is the only substance you actually need in order to live that people could call in certain circumstances an addiction.
	And in America, you've got so many things available to you that are tasty, are they not?
	And bad for you.
	But what exactly is it that you like to eat?
	I've asked you this many times on Belgab and you've always sidestepped the question.
	Have you?
	I don't remember you ever once asking me what I like to eat.
	Not once.
	You're telling me you did.
	But I'm really curious.
	Like, is it pizza?
	Is it?
	Well, I love pizza, but I, but I eat a lot of home-cooked Moroccan food.
	And there's this one dish.
	It's like chicken that's been cooked for a really, really long time in onions and these white raisins and some spices.
	There's always saffron and everything.
	I mean, there's and so you just put that all in a pot and it just sort of all sits there and stews and gets to know one another.
	And then several hours later, you eat it and you can eat it with bread.
	You can eat it just straight as it is.
	I'm not really someone to eat things with bread, so I just eat it straight as it is, which I'm sure was the real pressing bit of information everybody was looking for.
	Does he eat food with bread?
	I'm going to tune in tonight.
	Well, on that point, I was about to tell you that you should try something that's kind of like a well-known dish in my city, but it has a lot of bread in it.
	But I wanted to ask you: do you know what a rotty is?
	A roti.
	It's an Indian.
	A rutty?
	Am I being impeded by your pronunciation?
	Yeah.
	R-O-T-R.
	R-O-T-A.
	Rotty?
	Would I say it that way?
	A roti?
	I think so.
	It's called a rotty.
	It's like almost like a pancake, but savory, and you fill it with curry.
	So it's not like something they would make in Haiti where it's made out of clay and mud.
	It's actually Moroccan people probably make it, but they call it something different.
	But the thing I was going to refer, I was going to mention was that there's this dish in my city, in KwaZulu-Natel, the kingdom of the Zulu, Durban.
	It's an Indian food made by the slaves that were brought here, actually, initially.
	But now we all enjoy it in Durban, and it's like a loaf of bread hollowed out, filled with curry.
	And I know certain people in the chat room are going to have a good fucking gay old time laughing at the fact that I mentioned curry because it's someone's favorite little joke to crack.
	Is it?
	See, this is another.
	Remember what I told you last night?
	All of the inside Belgab jokes and cool kids knowledge that I have no concept of, and you would expect me to.
	I have no idea what you're referring to right now.
	Oh, MV, MV.
	I am not a cool kid, man.
	I am the one true pariah on all gabs.
	I'm still banned from El Gab.
	I'm probably going to be banned from Belgab again sometime.
	That's true.
	We've been talking about it, yes.
	Who?
	The committee.
	I'm joking.
	Golly.
	Deep breaths.
	Well, you know what?
	It'll happen.
	It'll happen, MV.
	I agree.
	It will.
	Yes.
	I'll get on someone's tits and then it'll all be over again.
	You know what?
	The only reason you were banned, and I'll say it again, and I said it the last time where you were on the show, was because after years of talking to you, I became aware after your own admission that you were allowing other people to use your account.
	And I found that personally offensive.
	And if you can take a moment to see that from my perspective, I think perhaps you might be able to at least understand, maybe not agree with my reaction to it.
	And I don't even know if my reaction to it was correct.
	I'm not infallible.
	That's why I used to have these great unbannings from time to time, where I just unban every account that's ever been banned save for.
	No, I haven't done it in a long time.
	And I don't know if I will.
	Yeah, because Metron is kept on telling me, oh, he says he unbans people, but he's no, that guy's.
	See, that's like people like that.
	If there ever is an unbanning, he won't be a part of it.
	Hey, hey, watch it, watch it.
	That's my buddy, man.
	No, he is not.
	That guy would shank you in the neck in two seconds if he felt like it was going to get him a farthing.
	I actually had a fucking American barbecue with him.
	I've met him face to face.
	I don't know why.
	Everybody seems to think he's such an asshole.
	Donald Rumsfeld met Saddam Hussein face to face.
	It means nothing.
	Fuck, man.
	Oh, God.
	You really are funny sometimes.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Usually when you're not trying to be funny, but I mean, I don't know.
	I think that is probably the best humor when someone isn't actively trying to be funny, which I never do.
	I try not to be funny.
	I'm just kidding.
	Go ahead.
	Female comedians.
	Like female comedians.
	Not into that.
	Female comedians.
	I don't find women funny.
	I just don't.
	You are such a male chauvinist.
	It's got nothing to do with chauvinism.
	Chauvinism would be like I've made an active decision to reject the concept of women being in comedy.
	And it's not that I've made an active decision to.
	I just don't have the inherent reaction to women on a stage being funny.
	I don't react to them by laugh.
	just don't make me laugh i mean yeah but you know you know envy that that gets me thinking on another thing is like people talk about having a broadcast voice And I think to myself sometimes, you know, why is it that there's a specific voice that is suited to broadcasts?
	Why can't people open their minds a bit and be open to other things?
	I've gotten so much flack for the fact that I don't have a broadcast voice and I do a podcast for myself.
	Your voice is fine for broadcasting.
	It's not, hi.
	You know, that's not, that's five pass hour.
	You know, that's not.
	what it needs to be.
	You just need to have a voice that's reasonably pleasant to listen to.
	It doesn't, like the whole idea of the geritol, you know, the D, I can't even do it.
	So I myself don't even cons I don't like to listen to myself.
	I never go back and listen to these shows because I can't stand to hear my own voice.
	I'm nasally and I don't have a pretty, I don't feel like I have a particularly good broadcasting voice.
	It fluctuates.
	Sometimes it'll be really good and I'll sit in front of the microphone and I'll talk into it and I'll even wow myself and I'm like, wow, goddamn, I sound good tonight.
	And then there'll be other times where it's just like, why am I doing this?
	I am not, you know, like intellectually, I think I'm cut out for it, but there are times when I feel like I don't have the voice.
	And I'd say I probably feel that way more often than not.
	I don't think that you have any problems with your voice.
	I think you have a pleasing voice to listen to.
	And that's all you need anymore.
	The whole, you know, geratol announcer in between segments of I Love Lucy, that shit's over with.
	I mean, look at look at the commercials that play on YouTube or wherever, and you listen to the person who's doing the announcing, the narrating on the commercial.
	It's not that deep voice guy anymore.
	That whole thing is done and over with.
	Nobody wants that.
	Well, you say that you say that I've got a pleasing voice.
	I think it's a pleasant, acceptable voice that would never be the cause of me not listening to you.
	Well, I've been, there's been whispers in Elgab that Heidi S. Grady flicks her bean to my voice when she's wearing headphones.
	Absolutely nude, completely nude, with the lights turned down while her husband is in the other room looking after the farting, baffling dogs.
	Do you know that that bitch went on a fucking cruise and left her husband alone with the dogs?
	What sort of a person does that?
	Well, he's a British man.
	I mean, they don't have men over there anymore.
	They don't even have a country over there anymore.
	So nothing surprises me.
	Dr. MDMD referred to me as a fucking Eurofag the other day because apparently I made some snarky remarks about Americans being stupid.
	And you know what?
	I wasn't calling all Americans stupid, but I don't see how he calls me a Eurofag.
	Yes, I may sound like I've got some sort of brick in me, but for fuck's sake, I'm a South African person.
	That doesn't mean I'm European in any way.
	Like I was born in Africa.
	Well, I'm glad you cleared that up because just yesterday I was listening to a recording of you and I typed a post on Belgab.
	What is with this British fag voice?
	No, I'm kidding.
	I didn't say that.
	But I don't know.
	I mean, I don't know why anyone would consider someone from South Africa to be a Eurofag.
	I mean, well, you know.
	I mean, the mentality of South African whites is, I would say, culturally pretty incongruent with that of the average European.
	I mean, the South African whites, it seems to me, have a sense of self-preservation because they're sort of under assault at this time.
	Are they not?
	Oh, MV, you know, we're treading into politics there.
	And tread into whatever we want.
	You know, it's all fun.
	I know, I know.
	No, I know, but okay, let me just try and well, while you're formulating your thoughts on while you're formulating your thoughts on that, how about if we take a call?
	Do you think that would be a better idea?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Okay, well, let's go ahead and do that.
	Hi, you're on the air.
	Hello there.
	Hi, this is Dave Darren.
	How are you?
	Hi, Dave.
	How's it going, bud?
	I thought I'd call into the show.
	Well, we were hoping you would.
	I'd give myself about a 7.82.
	The Frog King is with us.
	I heard this Azure guy from South America, and he sounds real soft, like a soft boy.
	And I think I could do some things with him if you know what I mean.
	I think he sounds rather fresh and tussle-able.
	Azure, your thoughts.
	My thoughts.
	I just wanted to let everybody know something.
	The Frog King, who has joined us on this call.
	By the way, this is Richard Surrett on the phone.
	I just want to point that out to everybody.
	Go ahead, Azure.
	He was raked over the calls by certain people, special interest groups, because of the fact that he apparently, apparently, made fun of a woman who fell out of a wheelchair.
	But let me tell you something.
	The reason why the Frog King can get away with this is because the Frog King had one leg blown off in a rock when he was a medic.
	I don't know that that's pensioned off by the U.S. government, and the fact that he's got one leg means that he is able to down and impugn anybody that is legally lame.
	So I just walking to his defense, I'm straightening everything out.
	I don't know that that's true because for years on Bellgab, under his avatar, he had the tagline, I have two legs.
	So I don't know if I buy this at all.
	Dave Darren, what are your thoughts on this?
	Well, if I was really this frog kid you talk about, I would have to tell you, soft boy, not only do I have two legs, but I have a third leg.
	Oh.
	Oh, a tripod.
	One-eighth chub over here, clearly.
	And that's being conservative, I have to tell you.
	Okay, well, what else do you have for us, Dave Darren?
	Go ahead.
	Go ahead, Azeray.
	I'm sorry.
	What's what?
	Groiper, listen here, man.
	What went on with being there?
	Is she dead yet?
	Did she fall out of a wheelchair again?
	What is the status of?
	Can you give us an update on being there?
	I'm not sure who that is, but.
	Because he's not Richard Groiper.
	I don't know who that is, but I did call Bailey because I wanted to poach this soft boy so he could be my co-host and then take over my own show.
	I run a Facebook show and I reach about 30 people.
	So why don't you think about that?
	Why am Dave Darred?
	Have things gone south with Dave Darren?
	Is there now a rift?
	Because if there is, I've not been apprised of it.
	Are you aware of a rift among dollgabbers and Dave Darren as a ray?
	All I know is that Metron refers to Dave Darren as Bedroom Dave because he films his stream in his bedroom.
	So is that like his parents or what?
	Is that a criticism?
	No, I'm just stating one of the things.
	No, I'm talking about a criticism from him, from Metron.
	That a criticism of Dave Darren because he does this show from his bedroom?
	Actually, some of the time I don't even know where Metron's coming from myself.
	I'm not sure.
	I don't know.
	I don't know why you would move over Azure to a show that has 30 listeners when the Gabcast has an easy 38 with every airing.
	That really makes no sense to me.
	That's not an advancement.
	Well, there's some people with like over a thousand subscribers that think their shit doesn't stink because of their subscriber base.
	Oh, boy.
	And they have some sort of inflated sense of self because of the fact that they've achieved something by having a stream on fucking YouTube.
	So I'd go for Groiper's channel any day with like, I don't know, or this Dave Darren guy.
	He says he's Dave Darren.
	I don't know who's who, but I would go for somebody with 30 subscribers better instead because they probably have their ego in check.
	So clearly that is a dig at Jim Mallard of the Mallard Report.
	I don't know.
	He seems like a very nice guy.
	I don't know why anybody is attacking the Mallard report.
	Nice.
	There's nothing nice about Jim Mallard.
	I actually asked him at one point how many Slim Jims he can fit in his ass, and all he said was, haha, Belgab.
	And then he logged off.
	You know, that shows the genius of that Belgab GIF.
	Like, you can summarize and conclude any number of conversations by just posting that Belgab.
	You know, the black guy just spins around and holds his hands and shrugs.
	It's just like, Belgab.
	You know, it really locks things in.
	It's a good way to lock it.
	I know you're not a hip-hop head at all, MV.
	You actually, I think you despise rap music, but that GIF has got big pun in the background.
	And he was a legend, man.
	He was like one of the greatest rappers that ever did it.
	I don't know how that became what Belgab.
	I have no idea.
	In fact, a few weeks ago, I posted saying, does anybody know the genesis of this Belgab GIF?
	Because it's probably the most used GIF in all of Belgab history.
	And I have no idea where it came from.
	I don't know who the people in it are.
	I don't know who put it together and posted it first.
	I have no clue.
	It just kind of sprung up.
	Yeah.
	Mallard just says, haha, Belgab, and he moves on with his day.
	And by the way, Slim Jims in your ass, that sounds like it would sting, I have to say, because the skin down there, it's really sensitive and thin.
	It's not meant for processed meats.
	Well, you know, anal sex, that's a whole other ball of wax, man.
	I know that.
	Is Groiper still with us, by the way?
	No, he I didn't hang up on him.
	He decided to disconnect.
	So that's done.
	It's over with.
	Okay, well, he knows a few things about anal sex, but I don't know if I can expound on that.
	Is this anything that he's talked about publicly?
	Well, yeah, he's made references to it, but I don't think it's in good taste to expound on anything to do with anal sex.
	Why?
	I know very little about it.
	I know very little about it.
	Well, initially, you sounded like you really had a lot of information to drop on us here.
	Pardon the use of the word drop, but it did sound for a moment there like you were really going to fill us in on the glory of anal sex.
	I know nothing about it, man.
	Well, now I don't believe it.
	Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
	If you want to be on the show, well, you know what people are saying out there, Azure.
	I'm just going with the flow.
	If you want to be on the show, it's 573-837-4948.
	If you're in the chat room, the number is posted right up there at the top in the event that you should forget it.
	I'm kind of curious.
	This embedded player that is on the chat page.
	When I loaded the chat room, I had to click the button to reload the player three or four times before the stream actually started playing.
	Did you have that problem or did it play right away for you?
	Are you referring to in the chat room?
	Yeah, when you load the chat room, there's a player underneath the chat, and it's supposed to just start playing right away.
	But for me, I'm having to click the button to reload the embedded player several times before it'll actually play for me.
	So I'm wondering if this is something specific to me, or if you or anybody else had that issue.
	Well, I can't speak about today's stream because I haven't streamed it.
	But I did have trouble on the last GabCast when I was listening to it and I was just in the audience.
	I did have trouble with it.
	I did.
	I couldn't listen to you.
	It kept crapping out and stuff.
	Yeah, that would be a different situation altogether.
	If you're on a mobile device and you're in the chat room, the player is never going to start playing automatically because Chrome and I think all mobile browsers now forbid automatically playing media.
	But if you're on a PC, it should just start playing right away.
	I don't know.
	I'm thinking this TuneIn player is not maybe up to the job, but it's like it's the least configurable player I've seen.
	You changed it.
	You changed it, right?
	Yeah, it was just a simple player generic that wasn't from anybody, but now it's the official player from TuneIn, which if you go to tunein.com and you search for bellgab.com, that'll bring up our stream right away.
	A while back, this is hilarious.
	Well, it's not really hilarious.
	I don't want to build it up too much, but it is something that made me go, hmm.
	A few months ago, I changed stream hosting providers.
	So if you still had the old URL to access the stream for this show, the live stream, and you tried to load the stream through that URL after I switched stream providers, you would be hearing somebody else's stream, not mine.
	And since that happened, and I forgot to go to TuneIn and change the information for our listing on TuneIn for months, months, probably over six months.
	Whose stream was it?
	I don't know.
	For over six months, I think there's been some stream playing like Mesquite Mexican Tejano like traditional music.
	And they actually were getting a pretty good chunk of listeners.
	And so I want to thank them for keeping my URL on TuneIn alive until I took it back.
	And I think the people who were listening to that stream are probably a little nonplussed by the fact that they are no longer hearing classic Tejano music.
	And I do want to.
	I probably thought it was you, MV.
	Well, you know what's funny is when I loaded it, the song that I heard playing sounded exactly like this.
	Nah, that's not a good example.
	I would say it sounded more like this one.
	No, that's not the one either.
	There's one of these that's.
	Yeah, this is exact.
	I heard this playing, and my initial reaction was I thought it was one of the old shows that one of the old gabcasts that Falkey hosted because this song was used as a bumper tune during his podcast.
	And so I right away thought that I was listening to one of those gabcast shows and I kept listening.
	And then another song comes on that kind of sounds like this, but isn't this?
	And that's when I realized the problem.
	Tune in.
	If you are someone who has a live stream like this on the internet, TuneIn is the biggest pain in the ass because, in order to change the information for your listing on their website, you can't just log in and do it yourself.
	And there's no software you can run that just automatically updates that on your end.
	You have to actually send them an email and ask them, a human being, to change that for you.
	I can't believe that.
	I don't know what it is about them.
	And then I read that they're not even accepting new stations on their website.
	So if you have a stream and you want to get it listed on TuneIn, unless you got while the getting was good, you're not going to get on there according to their own website.
	That I also don't understand, but whatever.
	That's fine.
	You asked me a question and you said that I should think about it before Broker came on.
	And I think it was something to do with the connection between Eurocentrism and sub-Saharan African whites and stuff.
	I think that we've got a very unique culture here in South Africa.
	And while, you know, while our skin may be white, so that we technically are European, there's obviously, just like America, a lot of cross-cultural relationships and types of people.
	And I think that there's one thing that holds everybody together, so to speak.
	And it's a thing that the Zulu people call Ubuntu.
	It's a sense of togetherness and helping one another out and a sense of community.
	And you mentioned that there was probably like the whites were having a rough time.
	But I must say, unfortunately, I think that a lot of how should we say paranoid people or people who are not really grounded in reality may be reaching out to places like Breitbart or Fox or whatever or Michael Savage and like spinning these horror stories when,
	you know, just like any other country, we've got our troubles, but I think that we're doing a lot better than we used to.
	I mean, I speak in Zulu to the Zulu people.
	I greet them in their own language and everything.
	Are you fluent or do you just know the common phrases?
	I'm not fluent.
	I can understand when they're talking to one another, but unfortunately, I haven't mastered the language itself fully.
	But I can do basic greetings and follow conversations pretty well.
	I can't really write it that well.
	But yeah, I talk to them in their language.
	And they often talk English when they see a white person.
	But it's kind of sad because, you know, it is Africa and having them subjected to, you know, a European language like English, even though it's the international language, is a bit sad to me.
	So on one level, maybe, but on the other hand, I think it's a blessing for them because English is the international language of business.
	And if you want to be plugged into the global economy, which exists, whether you want to be a part of it or not, you're going to have to know English.
	And you're at a pretty big disadvantage.
	Not to say that the people who represent South Africa for business pursuits and purposes wouldn't learn English for that purpose.
	But I think it's a, it's in this day and age, it's a big advantage.
	I mean, it would be nice and quaint to sit back and watch all these so-called indigenous people, which, by the way, I've read that the overwhelming majority of the blacks in South Africa are not actually indigenous to South Africa.
	So we throw that word around just to mean people who are not white.
	Oh, they're indigenous.
	It's wonderful.
	All the indigenous population.
	That's all that word has come to me, and it's been so conflated with other things and watered down that it has no meaning whatsoever.
	But I don't really know what the point is.
	Yeah, I mean, okay, let's call Native Americans indigenous people who came from all indications Asia across the Bering Strait.
	Well, okay, how indigenous are they then?
	Maybe they got here before one group of people, but do you mean to suggest there's no possibility that any other group came before them and thousands and thousands of years ago were subjugated by these people that you're now calling indigenous?
	I mean, the word is meaningless.
	It's like these people who use that word as some sort of a celebratory term.
	It's as though they're imagining in their heads human beings sprouting from the ground and growing out of the dirt in a particular piece of land.
	I don't get it.
	Well, perhaps they were there before America became America officially, but that doesn't mean that they were there before anyone else.
	It just means that they were there as far back as we can remember.
	There could have been something else there, someone else there.
	You know, there's these things like these ancient ruins spread across the world, and we don't even know what sort of culture they came from.
	Easter Island, like these strange things that, you know, they could have been cultures way before us that we don't know because none of it was recorded.
	We don't know.
	We're all a melting pot now.
	So America's supposedly supposed to be a country of immigrants, of all sorts of people.
	And you have to.
	I guess it's like that.
	And you have to be sensitive to that.
	And that's why when I leave the house, I only do so in blackface.
	What do you say we take a caller?
	I think this person has held long enough.
	And before I do, I would just like to point out, I think it's nice, Azure, that your nation is being held together by Linux.
	That operating system just never ceases to amaze.
	Hi, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Ubuntu?
	What the fuck is that?
	I saw, who was it in the chat room that said something?
	Wouldn't understand.
	Novato says, eh, Ubuntu is barely for computer.
	And he did say computer without S at the end.
	Go ahead, caller.
	I'm sorry.
	I didn't mean to jump in on you there.
	I just want to understand what Ubuntu is because that sounds like some jive turkey ass shit, if I've ever heard anything.
	Have you tried mud cookies?
	And I did mention that moments ago.
	You know, in Haiti, they are actually making cookies out of mud.
	And I saw some, I think she was like a New York Times reporter.
	They posted a video on YouTube of this woman from the New York Times going down to Haiti and watching them make their clay cookies and then taking a bite and pretending it didn't make her want to vomit and then celebrating this.
	Oh, this nice, quaint, indigenous Haitian culture.
	It's just, I'm eating a clay cookie right, and I'm actually surprised how good it is.
	Bitch, do you not understand that they're eating that because there's no fucking food?
	Do you not get that?
	Have you not wrapped your brain around that concept yet?
	When people have no food, they eat tree bark and they eat dirt.
	That's what people do when there's no food.
	It's not the natural state of human existence to make clay cookies.
	It's sort of like these same people go down to Cuba and then they feel all just warm inside and fuzzy because they're watching all these quaint cars from the late 50s before the Revolution took place.
	Oh, there goes a 57 Chevy.
	Oh, I love it down here.
	And the healthcare is great too, at least according to Michael Morris.
	I really love those cars, by the way, and I think both of you guys are, you both sound like assholes.
	Well.
	Well, I am an asshole at times.
	And usually when I am, it's intentional.
	No, but what I'm saying is that, like, you're talking so disparagingly about, I mean, I don't know if your tone is...
	I'm not talking disparagingly about the people living in those circumstances.
	I'm talking disparagingly about the rich white Westerners who go to some country where people are living like shit, not at their own choosing, and feeling like it's some sort of a quaint celebratory environment that, oh, I would live here, but I've got a job at the New York Times I got to go back to.
	Oh, but if I didn't have that, I would so live here.
	Get so angry.
	I'm not being angry.
	Okay, here's what we're going to do, Azure, for the rest of the show, so that I don't sound angry.
	I will only speak like this.
	Go ahead, Azeri.
	Would you like one of my antidepressants, man?
	I've got to take them at 9 a.m.
	Maybe that'll straighten you out.
	I feel just fine, but if I sound like an asshole, it's only because I intended to.
	Go ahead, caller.
	Pate says in the chat room.
	Sorry, Ubuntu is like a bad person.
	Excuse me.
	I would like to get a word in edgewise.
	Excuse me.
	Anyhow, I would like to say to the guest host, whom I'm not sure who that is, is that Pate.
	Pate, I would like you to Google USS Liberty.
	How about that?
	Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
	Is that the ship that the Israelis blew up?
	It sure is.
	It sure is.
	What's the deal with that?
	What is the deal with?
	I mean, was it intentional?
	I've seen short documentaries about it, but I don't know if I'm seeing propaganda or truth, and it seems really ambiguous what happened there.
	I think these Jews are wilding.
	They are wilding right now, and they sense a weakness.
	We have paid for not just one wall, but two of their walls.
	And I think it's funny that, well, I mean, I don't want to get anyone in trouble.
	So I want to know what the – Kate, what do you think about this?
	Well, I would just like to point out, you mentioned that they are wilding, and I have heard a lot of a lot of women being accosted by young men in Yamakas in Central Park.
	Go ahead, Azaray.
	Well, am I supposed to respond to what Groipa asked?
	Please do.
	Oh, man, I don't really have anything to say, but since you mentioned Israelis, the one thing that came to mind is Trutsi Wootsi.
	And I had a question for you, Michael, if that's okay.
	Oh, please.
	Why was she banished from Bogab?
	Do you remember it all?
	Because she's utterly uninteresting, and she posts in every thread and replies to every comment that anyone posts about any subject, and she follows a format with every one of them, which is a sentence followed by some irrelevant bullshit photo.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Well, so basically, she's utterly and completely uninteresting.
	She knows about those dancing Israelis, too.
	Let's get that straight.
	Google that too.
	9-11 dancing Israelis.
	Donald Trump knew.
	He knew.
	You know what, MV?
	What I find a little bit ironic is that you worried about whether you type something into Google that you might get propaganda back, but you listen to right-wing talk show hosts.
	Do you not think that?
	I don't worry.
	I never said that I worry that I'm getting propaganda.
	I simply said that sometimes it's no, I simply said that sometimes it's difficult to sort out whether what you're seeing is propaganda or not.
	So generally, whatever I am exposing myself to, I assume it to be propaganda.
	I assume it to be an agenda.
	I assume it to be rooted fundamentally in an opinion or someone's individual interests, and then I go from there.
	Well, I dated a Democrat-American woman who gifted me the iPhone that I told you about that just iPhones don't work, which is very underwhelming.
	And I was put in an awkward position because, you know, it was a gift from her and I didn't want to hurt her.
	But the whole thing was.
	Because she was black?
	Yeah, she was black, actually.
	Is that why you didn't want to reject the gift because you were afraid of being called racist?
	No, no, no.
	Oh, okay.
	She was African-American, not black.
	She was African-American.
	In South Africa, she was a Democrat.
	She was a Democrat, MV.
	And this was, I was dating her just as Trump got elected, and she used to make me feel so bad about listening to Rush.
	My God, all of our fights revolved around the fact that I was buying into right-wing conspiracies.
	Was she an American?
	Yeah.
	Actually, she lived in California.
	But actually, I wound up in a psych ward after our relationship came to a close.
	That was pretty much the beginning of when I fucking lost my mind.
	I think I would wind up in a psych ward dating a social justice warrior, too.
	I mean, there's nothing you can say, there's nothing you can do.
	Everything is being scrutinized and analyzed to see if you're co-opting someone else's culture or traditions, and you have to watch your pronouns.
	It's just insufferable.
	I mean, life is too short.
	I can't be bothered.
	I think that it actually left quite an impact on me because, you know, even today, I don't know if you know, but like when Trump comes up and stuff, you know, I've been like a bit fucked up from the fact that I got that from her all the time about how bad Trump is.
	And then I would try and defend it or at least just say, look, can we just like stick to the facts?
	And she was giving me facts and I was giving her facts and we were arguing all the time.
	And I think that it just like she ruined the whole just the concept of Trump for me.
	Like when I think of that, I think of our relationship and how it happened and how it ended and what happened to me.
	And it's just like, I don't know how to really characterize it, but it's like bad memories, man.
	And I mean, I talk about the things I don't like about Trump nowadays and I focus on those in some way because I'm trying to make up for the fact that she made me feel bad or something.
	I don't know.
	And people like MD call me Orange Man Bad and stuff like that.
	But I mean, for fuck's sake, what does my opinion matter as a sub-Saharan Africa, a guy in sub-Saharan Africa about Trump?
	It matters not.
	Like, so why the fuck would anybody pay any attention to that?
	I don't know.
	I mean, why does my opinion matter more than yours?
	I mean, if we really objectively.
	Yeah, but okay, but let's say we objectively measure it out.
	Do I really have so much more input on things than you do?
	I don't think so.
	I don't control who gets elected.
	Okay, I go out and I cast a vote, but whoop-de-doo.
	63 million people voted for Trump or 61, something like that.
	63 or 64 for Hillary.
	I mean, you're just, you're not even a drop in a bucket.
	You'd have to separate the bucket into molecules almost to measure your contribution to the contents of that bucket.
	I mean, it's minuscule.
	When does the whole thing take place where people vote again, whether Trump stays in or well?
	That's going to be.
	Okay.
	This number that keeps calling and then not staying on the line.
	I'm going to ban this number.
	I'm sick of that.
	Goodbye.
	If you call in, if you call into the if you call into the show, just wait and someone's going to get to you.
	The fact that I don't just three seconds after you call, oh, we've got to call her.
	Here we go.
	I mean, just hold on.
	Just wait.
	Because if you're going to call and then hang up because nobody immediately went to you, you're just becoming distracting.
	I think that the election, the actual election, is going to take place on November 12, 2020.
	But prior to that, political parties have to determine who their candidate is going to be.
	And so those are the primaries, as we call them.
	I don't know what you might call them in your country.
	There may be a different process.
	Well, we've got a little bit of like a little bit of like, you know, British politics melded with American politics.
	Like it's a it's it's so you're a parliament, you're a parliamentary system.
	Yes, but there are aspects to our politics that are sort of American as well, have become like that.
	Yeah.
	So do you have a mixed system where you have a parliament and a prime minister and also a president?
	Oh, as a you don't know, do you?
	No, no, I do.
	I do.
	But what I'm saying is we don't call out our we call it a we call them a president.
	We don't call them prime ministers.
	So so maybe you don't have a parliamentary system because if you did, the person who is able to cobble together enough support from the majority party to have a majority to govern, that would be the prime minister.
	Well, I think the way it works is each party chooses its leader, and then the party with the majority in the legislative body comes to power and the leader of that party becomes the prime minister.
	That's how it works.
	I don't think there's in most parliamentary systems, I don't think there's any sort of a direct election for the prime minister.
	They call it a parliament, they call it parliament, but we don't use the word prime minister at all.
	Like, we don't.
	I don't know.
	It's just semantics, I guess.
	We don't.
	I just wanted to ask you, you know, you said we spoke about brown-skinned women and lack of them.
	And I know Greiper and Asuka Langley and all those people are going to probably think we're disgusting for Kohler.
	I don't think so.
	I don't think those people really believe what it is you're reading them type on Bell Cap.
	Well, I was being sarcastic, but do you have, do you watch porn, man?
	Do you have a favorite like Ebony porn star?
	Why would I?
	I mean, who wants to imagine me sitting in front of a computer?
	I mean, really?
	I'm sorry.
	Okay.
	Well, do you, though?
	I mean, it's not that I'm prudish and don't want to talk about those things, but on a certain level, I don't want to because I'm shielding the imagination of the listener.
	Because I don't think there's anyone who really wants to imagine me sitting in front of a monitor in a darkened, smoky room with a bag of Cheetos two and a half feet away and the cat looking at me perplexed while some people watch it with their significant others.
	But yes, you're right.
	No, that's never been my thing.
	I will tell you, that's never been my thing.
	I will concede I have tried that and I find it distracting and just it's no, not my thing.
	I'm not against it.
	I'm not prudish in any way.
	I'm a degenerate.
	I'm a disgusting degenerate.
	But yeah, that's yeah.
	That's kind of like Jedi Miller discussing his STIs and stuff.
	It's pretty gross.
	I shouldn't have thought of them.
	What is an STI a sexually transmitted infection?
	When did we stop calling them STDs?
	I wasn't invited to that meeting.
	Is that?
	Does this have some sort of?
	There's got to be some sort of a political reasoning behind this change, as with everything I don't know.
	But um, you know Emvy, something completely off topic is.
	I just wanted to know.
	Hold on you.
	You mentioned something about someone who and STIs.
	What was the point you were gonna make?
	Well, I wasn't making a point.
	I was just making a reference to that guy called Jedi Miller, I don't know.
	So he has STDs.
	Well, he talks about his fucking dick and all sorts of shit.
	That's pretty gross.
	So I thought that was kind of so.
	He's currently receiving treatment for syphilis.
	Is that what you're trying to tell the listening audience and you just don't want to say it?
	Okay, you heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen, Jedi Miller is currently suffering from syphilis.
	Um, as a ray put that out there for everybody.
	I don't know if he was supposed to reveal that information, but nevertheless it's been imparted upon the listening audience, I think.
	Uh, Robert Mugabe the, the president of Zimbabwe, the ex-president, also suffered from from syphilis and it pretty much drove him nuts.
	But MV, he had to be nuts when he kicked out all those white farmers from his country.
	And then where did Zimbabwe get all their agricultural products South Africa dude dude, dude.
	The white people from fucking Zimbabwe are such cunts.
	I hate them.
	They're such fucking idiots.
	Well yeah, but they sure knew how.
	They sure knew how to grow that that produce, didn't they?
	No no no, but they lived like kings while the black people, they seriously treated black people.
	Isn't that always the story everywhere?
	No no, it's true, I'm telling you.
	I don't dispute that, it's true.
	I'm saying it seems to be the natural order of things anywhere you look, and we can get into the reasons why, but it just seems to be the way it pans out.
	Nevertheless, despite the fact that the whites were living like kings in Zimbabwe when Mugabe decided to kick all the white farmers out, as they're now doing in South Africa, Africa, they had a famine and everybody starved.
	You're not doing that in South Africa, man.
	Well, see, that's the question.
	That's why I'm selling land.
	That's the question.
	That's what I asked you about.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	And they've only done it to a couple farms.
	I'm not standing up for them, but I'm just keeping with the facts.
	A lot of people have been hurt by private citizens and stuff, but the government is trying to get into our intellectual properties and our property rights to enrich themselves.
	So it's a legal thing.
	It's not like a you know, it's not like freaking Zimbabwe where people literally, the government like sent people around to beat people up and shit.
	We actually do have a justice system here.
	CatSmile says, hashtag Lee beating off gets me hot.
	And he spells gets with a Z. Richard Groiper says MV beats his meat.
	So thanks for that, Azure.
	Thanks for that road you took me down.
	I have a question for you.
	Kate says, which ebony porn star do you monkey spank to?
	You see what sort of a circle of degeneracy and perversion you have injected me into.
	Sorry to use the word inject.
	Didn't mean to go down that road even further.
	Asuka Lingley says I jerk off to lewd OS Obama's mom.
	I don't know what OS Obama means.
	I have a question, MV.
	Please, please.
	Well, don't rush.
	I mean, keep in mind we have as much time as we want.
	You'll get it in.
	No, sorry.
	Didn't mean to say that.
	I'm sorry.
	Go ahead.
	It's just that my memory is...
	Sorry.
	It's just my memory is kind of bad sometimes.
	Well, do you have a piece of do you have?
	I'm serious about this because I have that same problem at times.
	Do you have a piece of scrap paper and a pen and you can just like jot sort of a shorthand note to yourself of something you want to come back to?
	Because that's very helpful.
	Yes, yes.
	Sorry.
	It's just okay.
	Did you ever sign up at my forum?
	No.
	Okay.
	Well, some of you.
	In fact, I didn't even know what the URL to your form was until recently.
	I thought it was asgab.com.
	But MV, you know what's so weird?
	some fucker signed up on my forum as mv and they used the the email address um admin at bellgab.com but did were they required to okay um Star Mountain's calling in, and I want to, again, reiterate this.
	If you're going to call in, you have to call the phone number.
	Don't call in as a regular Skype call.
	You have to call the phone number, 573-837-4948.
	There are technical reasons for that, but that's the way it has to be done.
	No, I did not sign up on the forum.
	And as I say, I thought that the domain name was asgab.com until just recently.
	And what is that?
	How did that email address get used?
	Well, let me ask you this.
	The person who signed up with that email address, did you require them to activate the new account using that email address?
	No.
	No, but I did tighten the screws after that.
	I'm so sorry, MV.
	Fuck, man.
	I'm sorry.
	So you believed that was me?
	Someone also signed up with an MV account on LGAB when that place opened.
	No.
	And Liberator.
	Well, I'm sorry.
	I didn't mean to bring out personal shit, but I knew that never occurred to me.
	Don't be sorry about anything you say on the show tonight.
	No, well, the thing is, somebody signed up with as Bart and as you, and then they never used the account, and then I banned that account.
	But I just, I thought that you and Bart L were the same person.
	So whoever that was trolled me good and well.
	So At that time, I thought maybe you guys are the same person because it was the same option.
	I almost wish Barton.
	I almost wish Barton and I were the same person because were we the same person, it would have been the greatest troll ever executed on the internet.
	That would have been the.
	We could be.
	Well, I mean, I guess we could be.
	I mean, I can't prove a negative, but were we the same person, I think that it would have been an excellent troll.
	What do you say we take a call?
	Yes, please.
	Okay, hi, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello, MV.
	I'm calling because you invited me to call.
	And I tried on my phone, and I got put on voicemail or the landline.
	I tried on my cell phone.
	The smartphone, which I call my smartass phone because it never works.
	And it also put me on voicemail.
	And so I tried Skype, and lo and behold, at least I got an answer.
	Woohoo!
	So I went back to the landline, and I hope it's working.
	Well, you're on the air, but the question is: which MV are you talking to?
	Is it the real MV?
	Because I have changed so many times.
	I know.
	God, it sounds like it.
	Oh, I hope so.
	I hope and pray so.
	I love you, MV.
	Do you really?
	Yes.
	Because I don't use that phrase lightly.
	When I tell somebody I love them, that's not a phrase that I throw around lightly.
	There's a lot of implication and meaning behind saying something like that to somebody.
	I don't mean it like, oh, how do you say this?
	I don't mean it like, oh, I love you.
	I love you like a human being.
	I love you like a person.
	I love you because of what you give.
	Fuck.
	You've always given so much.
	I have.
	Yes, you have.
	I give and I give.
	And I give.
	And you give again.
	And in many instances, it seems not to be enough.
	And I find perplexing.
	I really do.
	Yes, I do.
	We used to have some really fun conversations.
	Well, we did, but you want to know.
	That's always been my heart.
	Well, I'll just go ahead and break the ice here.
	Do you want to know when that stopped, Star Mountain?
	It was when you followed me around the forum for a year, gaslighting me because I liked or was friendly with someone that you have a grudge against.
	And after a year of that, and mind you, a year.
	It took a year before I finally said, you know what?
	Fuck it.
	I've had enough of this and I can't take any more of it.
	So if that's not a testament to the amount of consideration I afforded you, I don't know what is.
	But you, for a whole year, used the forum for the explicit purpose of making it known to everybody what an evil person Brig is, why you have this beef with her, I don't even know.
	And I don't even care.
	I don't need anyone to like anybody.
	Just because I'm friends with someone or because I'm friendly with someone, I don't need anybody to like that person.
	I don't give two shits.
	And I can assure you, Brig doesn't give two shits either, who likes her.
	If there's ever been anyone in Belgab that doesn't care who likes them, it's Brig.
	I can assure you of this.
	So I never needed you to like her.
	It's just that you routinely would log into the forum to let everybody know about this so-called negative psychic energy that Brigg was squatting over the forum and squeezing out on a routine basis.
	And yet you never would specifically articulate what it was.
	And then I guess because I didn't jump on the bandwagon and, yeah, Brig, that twat.
	I mean, I don't know what it was I was supposed to do.
	Somehow I had changed.
	Somehow I wasn't the same person.
	And so after watching you prance about the forum for a year, gaslighting me with that shit, if you don't understand why that would eventually become frustrating to me, then you don't understand people and you don't understand the human condition.
	Because what you're essentially implying with all of that is that I don't have the intellect.
	I don't have the will.
	I don't have the ability to assess anything myself.
	And so, therefore, I'm under the spell of something.
	I'm under, I mean, you like almost literally said that on multiple occasions that MV is under Briggs' spell.
	I mean, I doubt you said it with that sort of inflection, but I mean, that's effectively what you said.
	So after a year of that, if you were surprised that I eventually got tired of it, then I don't know what to tell you because it seems pretty cut and dried in terms of things people could figure out.
	And you getting banned had nothing at all to do with the picture that you posted of me with my wife.
	Nothing whatsoever.
	And I don't know if you're going to believe that or not.
	If you do, great.
	If you don't, that's fine too.
	But it had nothing to do with that.
	It's just after a year, Star Mountain, of you going about the forum and telling everybody how I've changed and it's not the real MV anymore.
	And then talking about the negativity that oozes out of Briggs' fingernails with everything she touches.
	And then when you're publicly challenged to expand on that and fill everybody in on specifically what it is you're talking about, you would always cop out with, oh, well, let's take it to PM's.
	I don't want to talk about it publicly.
	And there's a specific message where you did that, where I said to you, well, you know, if you're going to come on the forum and start talking about what an evil, degenerate person Brig is, maybe you should specifically articulate what it is that she said or did.
	And you said, well, no, I don't want to do that publicly.
	I'm all about love and light and friendliness.
	I don't have any hate in me.
	Meanwhile, you're telling everybody you don't have any hate in you, and you're all about friendliness and friendship.
	But all I saw from you for the last year that you used the forum was hate and passive aggression.
	There, I've said my piece.
	All right, understood.
	First of all, I never noticed anything until last you came back from your vacation.
	As a matter of fact, we chatted on Skype a few times.
	You even came on Skype.
	I let you remote access my computer or my laptop to fix stuff.
	That was a mistake.
	Just ask Falki.
	Which you were happy to do.
	I was, yes.
	Oh, there...
	Let's boil this down to a bullet point first, Star Mountain, because I don't want to just...
	May I finish?
	Well, let me just boil it down to a bullet point here, and you can address that.
	If you have a big problem with Brig on the forum, why is it that you never would well, but don't bullshit me because that's what you're doing if you're going to tell me you don't.
	Everybody knows you do.
	I hadn't.
	No, I said I hadn't.
	Hadn't what?
	I didn't used to have any problem with her.
	And wait, you know what?
	This is something Brig and I should talk about, but I don't.
	Do you really think she would be interested in that?
	No, I think you're right.
	I don't think she would particularly care to.
	I know that, and I understand why, but that's okay.
	That's past.
	Is it past?
	Because it's been brought to my attention that every opportunity you get to go on Azure's podcast, you guys talk about Brig about 40% of the time.
	It's my fault.
	Totally my fault.
	As Brig has often done and still does on Bellgab, even though I can't get on, I can't log in as a member, occasionally I can get on just I don't like hard feelings.
	I never have.
	I react like everyone does.
	I respond, I should say, like everyone does when they're hurt.
	I don't know what I'm sorry.
	I shouldn't have even.
	That's why I wanted to boil this down to a bullet point.
	And that is if you have a big problem with Brig and Okay, but I don't believe that.
	And your post history on Bellgab doesn't seem to jibe with what you just said.
	Because almost everything you posted on Bellgab for an entire year was to let everybody know what a bag of dirt Brig is.
	And then to express the negative feelings you had toward me because I didn't, I guess, step in to echo what you were saying.
	You responded to me differently from the time before you took the vacation when you were gone for three months.
	And when you came back, your interaction with me was different from that time.
	There was a three-month period where we interacted friendly in the three months you were gone and then when you came back.
	And that's what I was responding to.
	Well, I can't really speak to that.
	Okay.
	Because I don't know specifically what that would be.
	All right.
	Well, I have no animosity for anything that I did that was wrong.
	I apologize.
	As you know, or if you didn't, you probably guessed I am not a youngster.
	I'm an old fart.
	I just turned 73.
	I don't have that many days left.
	And I want to reconcile with everyone I can before I, oh, what do you call it?
	Oh, graduate.
	I just, I don't want to leave this earth with any hard feelings from or to anyone.
	I'm certainly not leaving with any hard feelings toward anyone.
	And that's the way it is.
	May I say something?
	Just go ahead and say it.
	You know, MV, um, obviously it's not all me, but perhaps my relationship with Star and the things I've brought up has also um gotten her in trouble with other people.
	And uh, you know, I've I've uh made a lot of um podcasts that are kind of stream of consciousness and meant to be comedy about Brig.
	And uh maybe I've brought that up a bit too much because Star and I have a friendship and maybe it's been me partly that's you know brought up the Brig stuff because Star often when I bring Brig up says I'm responsible.
	I'm responsible for my own I'm responsible for my own actions or speaking.
	Some may have been misunderstood.
	My bad for not being clear.
	But I'm responsible.
	Yes, but you often tell me you don't want to talk about Brig and please just like let's leave it.
	You often say that and I'm the one who fucking brings it up all the time.
	So part of it is my fault.
	Yes, we're both responsible.
	So yeah.
	In the end, I'm responsible to answer to whatever it is we face when we graduate.
	And that's where it all comes down, really.
	Not on the podcast.
	I love you, MV, but this is it's a great place to speak, but it's not the final place to speak.
	And I may be proven wrong, I may be proven right, or I may be proven a little of an each.
	I think we all are.
	But I don't hate anyone.
	I get triggered.
	Yeah, I get triggered and I'll respond to being triggered.
	But when it comes down to it, when I calm down and think about it, I don't hate anyone.
	I don't wish ill of anyone.
	Some people hurt me and what?
	What can happen to smooth this out between you and MV?
	Is are things cool between the two of you now that you've spoken?
	I would like to think so.
	He is angry at me and well, I would like you to specifically articulate, because your feelings toward Brig, I think, were the catalyst for all of this.
	And I would like you to, for once and for all, specifically articulate what it is that your problem is with Brig without saying, I don't have a problem with anybody.
	I'm not all about that.
	It's not my thing.
	No, no, no, no.
	I didn't say I don't have a problem with Briggs.
	Okay, what is it?
	What is it?
	Where did this start?
	Like any human being, I have problems with people in my life.
	What I want to do is get together with her for a resolve.
	But she doesn't want to do that.
	Why?
	And I want to find out why she initially suddenly started ignoring me, like in 2015, 16.
	I don't know whether it was because I stood up for Heather at the time when she jumped in and took the reins from art when he definitely not.
	Well, that's about anyway.
	No, I'm not going there.
	That's that's so far back.
	Nobody even remembers.
	So that's really the root of it, that she ignored you?
	No!
	No, no, no.
	That's what I'm saying.
	But if she ignores us, we can ignore her.
	I don't.
	I don't try that.
	The thing is, I don't the thing is, I don't know why she quit talking to me all of a sudden.
	I even asked her several times on on the forum.
	I mean, not PM, maybe PM, but I deleted all that.
	Um, I don't know.
	I mean, she's funny.
	She's funny as hell.
	And, God, I mean, her sense of humor and my sense of humor are just, but I don't know.
	I disagree.
	I really don't know where the glitch happened.
	I don't know if someone jumped in there and did something on a PM about me.
	I don't know.
	And it's far back when I'm too old to remember, but I am willing, I'm willing to talk with her and find out and resolve it if she wants to.
	If she doesn't, that's fine too.
	That's her right.
	But that's all I'm saying.
	But I still don't feel like the I don't feel like this has been nailed down at all.
	I mean, what is there to resolve between you and Brig?
	I don't know.
	That's something I've never understood.
	That's the thing.
	I'm with you there.
	I don't know.
	I don't know anything that I have ever done before.
	There was the undercurrent innuendo where she said stuff that only I would understand and then I would come back with stuff she would only understand.
	And there was the occasional stuff and here and there.
	What I want to do at this point is say, okay, stop.
	Stop all the D crap on both sides and be done with it.
	It's in this day and age and with all the controversy and all the divisiveness, I mean, I don't, it's not even Brig and it's not me.
	I think it's an energy going on to divide people as much as it can.
	What you need to understand, Brig, is that there's no unity to begin with.
	I think you're investing emotionally too much in personalities that you've encountered on the internet.
	These people that you are concerned about or that are fighting with one another, so-called fighting with one another, and it stresses you out or bums you out to see them at each other's throats.
	These are people who've never met one another, who live thousands of miles away from one another in many instances, and who are never going to meet you more than likely.
	And so I think you have emotionally, well, maybe that's the problem.
	Maybe you should join a bridge club or find a crocheting club or go down to the Happy Hearts Old Folks lunchtime every day.
	I go to the pacehold folks and watch great movies, play bingo, play on the internet, and have a hell of a time.
	I think you should stop investing emotionally in these internet personalities who are not real friends.
	And I've told you that before, that the people that you interact with on the internet, as painful as that might be to hear or contemplate, are not your friends.
	You may be acquainted with them, but even that is only in a limited way.
	You can't even possibly be acquainted with someone in as thorough a way as you would in real life where you physically shake hands with somebody and look them in the eye and you're within proximity of that person on some sort of a routine basis.
	I mean, even that is just an acquaintance.
	But these people that are words on your screen, these are not your friends, Star Mountain.
	No, they're my acquaintances.
	Some of them are very good acquaintances, but they are still acquaintances because, as you said, I have not physically shaken hands with them.
	Oh, I understand exactly what you're saying.
	So are you guys okay?
	I think your emotional investment in these people that you've encountered on the internet has not been good for you and has been very unhealthy.
	May I say something, MB?
	Yeah, go ahead.
	Richard Grouper, behind the scenes, even when I was lashing out at him when I was kind of sick and stuff with going through what I go through.
	Throughout that time, the fact that he is a little bit like emotionally measured.
	He spoke to me in private a lot of times, and I'm not telling tales out of school or anything, but he actually helped keep my mind in perspective with that whole thing about acquaintances, because I was starting to believe that he and I were like friends and stuff.
	And I've had that trouble in the past before.
	But he said to me, in no uncertain terms, yes, I enjoy chatting with you, but we are friendly acquaintances.
	And ever since I heard that and actually gave it a lot of thought, it helped me keep in perspective the relationship I have with people on these gabs is not exactly all real.
	So that helped me.
	And keeping that in mind helped me.
	Which isn't to say that sometimes, you know, when talking to Star or talking to Metron or whoever else that I talk to, I don't get carried away when I start thinking about Brig.
	And I don't know.
	I think, you know, I've got perception problems.
	I've got like paranoia that flares up.
	And she's one person that I have invested in too much emotionally.
	I don't think she cares whether I live or die.
	And the sad thing is that I'm attaching weight to her.
	I shouldn't.
	So this has helped me.
	I hope you guys can resolve whatever's going on with you two.
	Well, let's play a clip.
	This is a clip that somebody posted before the show, just minutes before the show in the Gabcast thread.
	This is a clip from your show, Azuree.
	And I haven't even listened to the clip.
	I have no idea what it contains, but we'll talk about it after the clip plays.
	I don't know much about Breg has said a lot of shit about Breg.
	I'd like to put a bullet through her head.
	Okay.
	So in case that didn't come across well for anybody, I'll play it again.
	I don't know much about Breg has said a lot of shit about Bragg.
	I'd like to put a bullet through her head.
	Okay.
	Now, how measured does that sound to you, Azure?
	I'm not sure the two of you should even be talking on the phone with one another, let alone publicly expressing your sentiments about all of these subjects and these people, because I think both of you have invested in these personalities that you've encountered on the internet far more so than you ever should have.
	I mean, you don't sound Azure to me like you're joking there when you say that.
	And in some jurisdictions, that would be legally actionable, what you said there.
	Well, I've been in jail before.
	I've got a criminal record.
	No, man.
	Was it for any sort of physical violence or harm to another person?
	No.
	No, not yet.
	No.
	But I did have to leave Indonesia.
	You were living in Indonesia?
	Yeah, for a little while.
	I just got back to South Africa, actually.
	When you say you had to leave Indonesia, that doesn't sound like it was a voluntary move.
	Why is this?
	Well, I was in trouble because I beat somebody up.
	So the answer to my question, have you ever physically harmed anybody?
	It was no, not in South Africa.
	No, I've gotten in many fights in South Africa.
	Had my nose broken many times.
	I'm a violent person sometimes, but I'm never going to meet Brigg, let's face it.
	I think that I think, Azure, that you feel a little bit embarrassed by that clip, don't you?
	In retrospect?
	No, I don't.
	Not at all.
	No, not at all.
	Not at all.
	Okay.
	I'm curious on your thoughts.
	Do you have a different perception of me or something?
	not at all because i don't view you as a threat i don't view you as i i don't see it as realistic that you are going to get an american visa fly to the united states and acquire a firearm and go to briggs house and shoot her in the head No, I don't think that's going to happen.
	That sounds like a good plan, MV.
	Well, that would be the sort of gist of what you'd have to do to execute that.
	Sorry to use the word execute, ladies and gentlemen.
	I didn't mean that.
	Poor word choice.
	But no, I don't view you as a threat.
	I don't think that you're literally going to do that.
	But at the same time, I don't think that you are proud of that audio I just played.
	You may not be embarrassed by it, but I don't think you're proud of it.
	And I think that when you're in a different environment and you're not in the midst of doing that show and in the heat of it all and on the roller coaster of that stream of consciousness that leads you to places like that clip I just played, I don't think that you probably hear that and say to yourself, I'm glad I said that.
	Well, here's the thing.
	Is there anything, I mean, really, honestly, Azure Ray, is there anything anyone on the internet anywhere at any time has said in written form that would even make it slightly reasonable to lay out a desire within you to go shoot somebody in the head, to put a bullet through their head?
	Is there anything anybody could type on a keyboard on the internet that would make that reasonable?
	I have a severe mood disorder.
	Yes, I do get like that sometimes.
	Well, I know, and that's why I'm saying I think as you listen to that now, you probably have some feelings of regret having said that.
	And I get the feeling you are resisting admitting that, and I'm not sure why.
	Because I don't think, given the opportunity, you would repeat that verbatim.
	I don't think, I don't feel regret for that because I wasn't saying it in a, I was obviously being ironic.
	If I were.
	If I meant it, obviously I would feel ashamed when I heard it played back to me.
	Star Mountain, do you want to shoot Brig in the head?
	No, I don't want to shoot anybody.
	Period.
	I want resolve or at least some kind of satisfactory outcome.
	No, I don't.
	Never have you.
	And she's been consistent with that, MV.
	Throughout all the discussions I've had with them in private and public, she's always been the one that says, hey, back off, you know, like, I don't want to say anything about Brig.
	And then I'm always the one who fucking brings it up, usually.
	Well, I don't think that there's ever going to be a resolution between Brig and Star Mountain or Brig and Azeray.
	I think that much is pretty clear.
	Okay, does Brig have something to say?
	I am willing.
	I am willing to.
	Does she have anything against you?
	I just played a clip where you're fantasizing about shooting her in the head and ending her life.
	And now you're wondering if she might have something against you.
	Yeah, well, I mean, she does pretty horrible things to other people.
	What?
	What?
	I mean, I'm not asking that sarcastically.
	I literally want to know.
	And then, may I say something?
	Anybody, please.
	Okay, there was a time when it might have been in the hell of Avenger.
	Bella Haven thread that we were all chatting, and this was like 2015, 16 or something.
	And she was talking about there was something, oh, it was one of her videos, and we heard a whole lot of clatter in the background, and police and stuff.
	And I was probably one of the first to jump in and said, Brigg, what is going on?
	Are you okay?
	And apparently the police were raiding one of her neighbors in the apartment or something like that.
	And I was very concerned for her.
	And, damn it, I do not have, by nature, ill will toward anybody.
	Yes, I react when I feel I'm being attacked or hurt by someone, but even that, I stop and try to grab my heart and try to understand.
	Yes, I have initial reaction, knee-jerk, I guess, which makes me a knee-jerk, I guess.
	But anyway, when I cool down and stop and think about stuff, no, I don't have an ill will toward anyone.
	I don't believe that.
	Well, you don't have to then.
	That's your right.
	I'm not viewing it as my right.
	I'm just viewing it as my honest reaction to what I saw from you over the course of a year.
	I mean, if anyone wants to go look at your posts starting in early October of 2008 until the time you were banned and then listened to you state that you have no ill will toward anybody.
	The only time I said, who are you and what did you do with MD was after you came back from your vacation when you were gone for three months.
	And when you came back, that's when I started with the, what is it?
	And I was going on with the way you do, you play or not play.
	You post snarky stuff, but it's in fun.
	And everyone knows that or knew that.
	And I was not expecting the responses I got.
	And I was hurt and I reacted.
	It was my intention to hurt.
	Not a year.
	Definitely not a year.
	It was from the time you came back.
	Well, the forum came back on in early October of 2018.
	And I would say you probably were banned about a year after that.
	And so from my perspective, I can only tell you things from my perspective.
	I'm just sitting here minding my own business, and it felt to me like you're just following me around the forum trying to gaslight me into believing there's something wrong with me.
	Okay, I was not following you around the forum.
	I just went to the threads I like to go to, but again, it was passive-aggressive because it was passive-aggressive on your part.
	It was passive-aggressive on your part because when you would say these things, you wouldn't say them directly to me.
	You would say them to me in the context of me as a third person as if I'm not going to read that post.
	Like, I'm not going to see what you typed.
	I mean, if you're going to talk about me on a forum that you know I read and your posts are going to be publicly visible, so you know I'm going to see them.
	Why not just say whatever you want to say directly to me?
	Why speak about me in the third person as though you're having a private conversation with somebody?
	I mean, that to me is quintessential passive aggression.
	And something I want to make you understand is that I grew up with an older sister who had issues and was entirely and completely passive-aggressive in her approach to every circumstance and every situation.
	And so now, as an adult, my antennas are up for that kind of stuff, and I don't suffer it for one second when I see what I believe to be passive aggression.
	Hold on, Azure.
	Let her respond to that.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	Okay.
	Can I talk?
	I just told Azure to let you respond to that, so that would probably mean you can't.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	Passive aggression.
	Azure, stop it.
	Okay, what?
	I'm sorry.
	Azure's making gags.
	I'm sorry.
	Go ahead, Star Mountain.
	Okay, I kind of forgot what we were talking about.
	Passive aggressive.
	I was talking about how you weren't speaking directly to me when you would say these things.
	Well, I was doing the same thing that, gosh, if you go back and look through all the posts, that's pretty common.
	It is.
	And back in the day, that was kind of the play.
	It was kind of snark, but friendly snark.
	It wasn't nasty snark.
	And that's what that was.
	It was might have been misunderstood after you got back, but God, it was trying to relate to you back in the day like you used to relate to people and like we used to relate to you.
	So my bad, I guess.
	I'm sorry.
	We have someone.
	Oh, I am sorry.
	Well, I appreciate that.
	I have not said that any to I don't say that unless I mean it.
	Well, that is appreciated and duly noted.
	We have another caller on the air.
	I'll go ahead and bring them on with you.
	Hi, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Fuck you again.
	I have the emails.
	Star Mountain's emails to you?
	Wait.
	I have them all.
	Wait.
	I would like you to acknowledge my rape.
	Wait a minute.
	I can't hear.
	He said he would like you to acknowledge his rape.
	What is that a reference to?
	I have no idea.
	I mean, who in the hell would rape me?
	No, I think he was raped.
	He was raped.
	You forcefully sexted the broad king.
	Oh, that is right.
	I remember Richard Groiper said that you attempted, and he posted screenshots of private messages where it appeared as though you were attempting to move the conversation in an almost quasi-sexual direction.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Carry on.
	Okay, well, she's rejected that out of hand.
	Richard Groyper?
	I think we all know the evidence is clear.
	And I would just like an apology and you to acknowledge the four years of suffering and torment I've had to go through my own personal hashtag MeToo movement.
	And I would like you to donate to my Patreon at Richard Groiper was rigged.
	For a new leg.
	You're going to have to hold it together there, buddy.
	Get him a new leg for Christmas.
	Kickstarter.
	I would like to know if Star Mountain masturbated into a bush while being in a hotel room with you, Richard Groiper.
	Wait, wait.
	No.
	Well, that's what Harvey Weinstein did.
	And hashtag MeToo.
	I'm sorry.
	Yes.
	Do you regret saying that you want to go into Verizon and suicide bomb them?
	Not at all.
	Well, then, why am I supposed to regret that?
	But that's also not what I said.
	I said, if I were a terrorist, I would drive to the headquarters of Verizon and suicide bomb them.
	Okay.
	Well, I remember that.
	I was misunderstood.
	Since I'm not a terrorist and I'm not sure.
	Oh, really?
	Wow, that's racist, isn't it?
	What a bigot.
	I didn't realize I was co-hosting with such a bigot tonight.
	You're in here with all this Ubuntu talking.
	I'm saying about niggas and then I think about towelheads and I'm in the fucking.
	I'm in the.
	I'm sorry.
	Star Mountain, save us from Azure's racism, please.
	I remember when you said that, and it was when, I think it was the, was it the first time or second time Art came back?
	And I saw that and I go, wait, what?
	Because I heard that.
	No, no, that's not what he said.
	That was totally misunderstood.
	And I tell, yeah, I can relate.
	But anyway, yeah, you were kidding.
	It was the most tongue-in-cheek thing ever.
	But we have, Azure, you and I talked about this last night.
	Azure, you and I talked about this last night, how there's this sort of post-9-11 mentality where nobody can laugh at anything.
	Nobody can joke anymore.
	Everyone's got to stick up their ass.
	Everyone's wound really tight.
	Well, Star, Star, can I say something to you?
	Sorry for that noise, guys.
	Yes, Azure, wait.
	You can say anything to me if you slow down because the connection is really sucky.
	So if you slow down, I can hear you.
	Otherwise, I can't.
	Is everyone else having that problem?
	No, you're fine.
	Just talk.
	Go ahead.
	Okay.
	Star, you said that you don't have any animosity towards anyone.
	Now, while I get the notion you're trying to convey, we're human beings, and sometimes we do have animosity towards others, whether it's for a short period of time or otherwise.
	So I don't think it's completely truthful to say you've got nothing against anybody.
	I know what you're trying to say, but we all have irritations and annoyances to deal with.
	And that's just laugh.
	So, yeah, that's what I wanted to say.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah, you know, Star, that's actually a very good point.
	I mean, you don't have to like everybody.
	It's okay to admit that you just don't like it.
	It's okay to admit you just don't like certain people.
	I don't like everybody that uses Belgad.
	There are plenty of, believe me, plenty of people that I don't like.
	I know.
	And can I say something?
	I would like everyone to stop asking.
	I would like everyone to stop asking if they can say something, please.
	You're both doing it.
	Just say something if you want to say something.
	Go ahead, Star Mountain.
	Yes, I have animosity.
	I try to curb it.
	But yes, I get irked when I'm being attached, like anyone does.
	And sometimes I respond, sometimes I don't.
	But for me, and this is my own thing, I want to be able to love everyone.
	And God is that a fucky road to track.
	And it ain't easy, and I am not successful.
	Trust me, I'm not always successful.
	But I'm trying to do my best, especially at my old age.
	I just it hurts when it hurts when I get called out for stuff that it's fuck.
	When I get accused of stuff I've never done or even ever thought of doing, that hurts.
	I was reading the chat room for a moment there, Star Mountain, and I got a little bit distracted.
	But did I hear you say that you ultimately would like to be liked by everybody?
	That's not possible.
	Why no?
	But did you just say that?
	No.
	Okay, I thought I heard you say that.
	I thought I heard that.
	Okay, I don't think I said that.
	Because I hope you don't think that at all.
	No.
	No, no, that's not possible.
	I mean, just no.
	That's not possible.
	It would be nice, but whether you want it.
	Say that again, Azra.
	There's a difference between it being possible and whether or not you want it.
	Oh, no.
	Sure.
	Who wouldn't?
	Who wouldn't want to be liked by everyone?
	Me.
	I don't want to be like that.
	I don't.
	I'm a human actor, but it's, okay, I'll put, yes.
	Okay, can I change my mind?
	There are some people I don't want to be liked by.
	I would like to be liked by the people who have a good heart and good intention for, oh God, it's sappy.
	Okay.
	I write sappy people.
	I want to be liked by sappy people.
	Okay?
	Okay.
	We all said together, so-and-so said this, and that one said that.
	And fuck, man.
	Why don't we just get past it?
	We're all buddies or acquaintances now.
	Let's just squash the beef and move on, guys.
	Come on.
	Well, I will say that I myself do want to be liked by everybody, and I was a little put out when I attempted to become a pen pal of Richard Ramirez, the serial killer, and he did not reply, and that has stuck in my craw for many years.
	If you want to be on the show tonight, the number to call is 573-837-4948.
	It's 573-837-4948.
	I tell you what, Azeray, I think the thing to do at this juncture is to take a little bit of a break, and when we come back, we'll delve into whatever it is we like here on the Gabcast.
	We're going to break.
	Sorry.
	573-837-4948.
	Back in a second if you want to call the show.
	Be a pleasure to have you.
	Stay right there.
	I blame the wine.
	This is the Gabcast, a podcast about BellGab.com.
	Call the show now at 573-837-4948.
	That's 573-837-4948.
	Now, shut up, sit down, and listen to the damn show.
	All right.
	That number is in fact accurate.
	It's 573-837-4948.
	If you'd like to be on the show, we'd be happy to take your call.
	If you're one of the people calling during the break, well, let's just say that it's not quite working out for you there.
	Azeray, are you still there?
	I'm still here.
	Okay.
	Sorry for the lip smacks there.
	I just, you know, I'm consuming beverages, and I did so just moments before I started talking.
	Well, I'm drinking Crown and Cokes.
	I thought I'd go a little bit easier tonight.
	And Crown and Cokes, that is going to represent a significantly lessened alcohol intake relative to shots of tequila.
	I'm sorry, what did you say?
	What is Crown?
	Star Mountain, you don't need to keep calling, okay?
	That's that.
	It's a wrap.
	Okay.
	I think things ran their course there.
	I think that's the best way to put that.
	573-837-4948, if you want to be on the show.
	You know, I want to ask you something, Azure.
	What is the deal with you and Michael Deacon, who goes by username on Bellgab?
	I have been seeing nothing between the two of you but Venom for the last, what, two weeks?
	And I thought that he was one of the primary users of your forum.
	And now it appears as though the two of you have had a falling out.
	And, you know, we just finished about a half hour of cringe radio a moment ago.
	And so why not do another?
	I'm curious as to why this has happened.
	Well, it's actually, it actually all started around Star.
	Actually.
	What happened was he had Star on shortly after the November 22nd edition of the GabCost, which I phoned in to you about on.
	And basically, he said that He brought to attention that her that I mentioned that she wasn't all there.
	And he made reference to the fact that people on the internet are not really your friends and stuff like that.
	And I was, I can be very overprotective of Star at times and I do get irrational, but you know, I just didn't like the fact that he was saying stuff that was like hurtful to her.
	And basically, that was my problem.
	And I said to him, you know, why did you do that?
	And he said to me, some shit about, well, I must take responsibility for my words.
	So that wasn't a big thing, but like, I didn't like it.
	But then I also noticed that, you know, Dr. MDMD and him have been at odds as well.
	And Dr. MDMD, rightfully so, has called, has called, termed Michael Deacon's voice as a gay robotic voice, which I actually share that opinion.
	I never said it before.
	I don't like it.
	Well, you did say it on Belgab a couple days ago.
	Yes, a couple days ago, but I never used to say that.
	I never used to criticize him.
	But the fact that he's got this braggado show and this humongous ego and the way he conducts himself, he talks about how he likes to hurt feelings.
	And this is probably going to sound bigoted and hypocritical of me, but he said to me on my forum that if he had the issues Azure had, he'd cut himself.
	And that kind of pissed me the fuck off.
	But, you know, this is coming from the guy who said he wants to put a bullet through Briggs' heads.
	That's true.
	It is.
	It's kind of taken the wind out of my sails.
	But the bottom line at this point is I don't like the way he conducts himself.
	I don't like the way that he's rather disrespectful.
	He, in a way that he brags about having these high-profile guests on his show, which none of us really fucking know.
	I mean, maybe the leftovers and dregs that.
	He did get John McAfee.
	Yeah, but I mean, like.
	Is that a hard guy to get, though?
	I don't know.
	No, I'm not taking anything away from Michael Deacon's achievements.
	He's achieved.
	Okay.
	What my problem is, is that he tries to pretend to be this guy without feelings.
	He tries to pretend to be this guy that nothing affects him.
	And to me, that seems to convey that he's got a lot of pain.
	Now, Metron told me, and I actually don't know if this is true, but Metron told me that Michael Deacon said on one of his shows that he was chained in a boiler room for six months by his legal guardianslash parents as a child.
	And I seem to think that's the root of his pain.
	He likes hurting others.
	And that's what boggles my mind when Star says she's friends with him.
	Is I feel like sometimes she overlooks the way he behaves.
	But I mean, you know, I'm not perfect either.
	I just, it's the passive aggression.
	Maybe you can understand me on this, MV.
	Is even when he was still hosting with that guy, Daniel, he used to host with.
	I don't know if you listen to Michael Deacon's show.
	Do you?
	I don't listen to any of these shows.
	Yeah, well, well, me neither, actually.
	I used to, but any show that's fundamentally rooted in the paranormal, there are too many of them.
	I've got too much stuff to listen to.
	And that's not a commentary at all on Michael Deacon.
	I just, you know, the genre, and I've said this a gazillion times, it's almost shtick at this point that I don't care enough about the genre really to invest in it in that way to catch those kinds of shows.
	That's the thing is he also has said before that people need to get over the paranormal and we need to move forward and all this kind of stuff.
	But then he has paranormal people on all the time.
	And he does the straight formulaic interviews with guests talking about paranormal stuff.
	So I think there's a disconnect between Michael Deacon, his perception of himself, and he attaches self-worth to the fact that he's got a lot of subscribers and stuff.
	And he takes a pleasure in hurting people.
	And that's the problem I have with him.
	It's the problem I have with him.
	I just don't like it.
	You know, you described him as passive-aggressive.
	I'm not sure I necessarily see that in him.
	That's not to say you're wrong in your assessment.
	I mean, we all assess things and have our own reactions.
	But I see him more as someone who is simply unwilling to give others the satisfaction of watching him get emotional.
	And I think that in itself really triggers some people.
	Do you think that that could perhaps be what it is about him that gets to you?
	Well, here's the thing, MV.
	i'd like to say no that's not the case but you know i i i can't really talk about my i think other people can observe things in yourself that you don't see so i'm not going to sit here and say i don't think that's the case But what I will say is that I think that this image that he portrays of not feeling and stuff like that,
	I think that it's an indication that he is very sensitive.
	That's an interesting analysis.
	So you view it as a coping mechanism.
	I guess you could call it that, but I mean, I just, I don't like the...
	Either way, you don't believe his display of a lack of emotional investment in things.
	You don't believe it's authentic.
	Here's my thing.
	I don't care whether you're the Queen of England.
	If you come towards me and you try and disrespect me or treat me in a way that's not respectful off the cuff, I've got a problem with you.
	Because everybody should be shown some tiny modicum of respect and human.
	I just don't feel like he can connect with human beings.
	I don't know if I'm seeing something in him that I don't like about myself.
	That's possible.
	But I just feel like he's an asshole and I don't like him.
	So, you know, those were the few things that happened between here and I.
	But I just don't like his show.
	I don't like his voice.
	I don't like his quote-unquote interview style.
	I think that his show is lame.
	I think that the fact that he's got as many subscribers as he does doesn't mean anything.
	It just means every subscriber is a fucking idiot.
	But that's just my opinion.
	You can't attach, this is the problem.
	can't attach you can't attach um derive your self-worth from your worldly achievements because you're gonna fall flat on your face man We all fail sometime.
	And you're probably right by the fact that he doesn't show emotion as a coping mechanism.
	Well, I'm not asserting that that's why.
	I'm asking you if you think that's why, because that seemed to be, if I were to boil down what it is you're saying about him, it would seem to me that that is what you're saying, that he has a deliberate, he deliberately refuses to show that he has been emotionally affected by anything or emotionally invested in anything as some sort of a coping mechanism.
	At least that's what I gathered from what you had said about him.
	That at the end of everything, that's kind of what.
	I'm sorry?
	I didn't mean to put words in your mouth.
	Yes, I didn't mean to say that that's what you thought.
	But it's an interesting analysis, but it all comes down to the way he treats people.
	He's boasted before about how he likes to make his guests feel uncomfortable.
	And he'll take a guest on a high-profile guest and he'll treat them with respect.
	And then all of a sudden, like somewhere along the line toward the end of the show, he'll start being rude.
	And I feel like, look, that's his decision.
	What does he do?
	Like, how does that manifest?
	Like you said, play him fart noises or like he would have Stanton Friedman on and play fart noises.
	Did he really?
	Not fart noises, but I remember he did this to Felkey.
	He kept on playing this, like he kept on playing triggered, triggered, triggered towards the end.
	And, you know, Felkey's a fucking Felkey is not exactly the type of person that conducts himself with you know respect.
	But he was being respectful all throughout his interaction with Michael Deacon.
	And for Michael Deacon, when he's done with someone to just kick them out the door like that, I feel like I just don't feel it's proper.
	I don't feel it's right.
	I think that he's going to have to answer for that one day.
	I suppose after hearing all this, I just sound like somebody who is looking for a reason not to like him.
	But there's been many interactions with him, which I feel he's a very underdeveloped human being, or he's stuck in eighth grade or something like that.
	And I've told him if he wants to settle everything, we can settle it privately.
	And he told me that I must come to his house and fight him physically if he wanted to give me his address.
	So I thought that was a good idea.
	I think that would be the perfect Gabcast event or Belgab event.
	I think we could do live video streaming.
	I think we could get some sponsorships in place.
	I think that we might even be able to get enough sponsorships in place to subsidize the air travel of the lesser fortunate members of Belgab, which might be a significant percentage of the Belgab user base.
	I don't know.
	But I think we could make something of that.
	I think that would be one of the premier events of Belgab history.
	Were you to get a U.S. visa for the explicit purpose of flying to the United States and fighting Michael Deacon?
	I would sign on for that.
	Maybe I should get back with my African-American Democrat girlfriend in America and try and get a green card.
	Are you still on the terms with her that she would sponsor your application?
	I mean, I want to make this happen.
	She loves the hell out of me, dude.
	She would take me back in a heartbeat, but I haven't talked to her for ages.
	I've got no problem with, but you know, I'm getting married.
	So, like, are you really?
	Yes, of course.
	Oh, well, congratulations to you.
	When's the last night?
	Last time.
	Like, on this show.
	Oh, well, you can't hold it against me for the fact that I didn't retain that after that show.
	I'd like to talk to you segregated sober, though.
	It is.
	I'm slightly sober, yes.
	Although I will say that when I'm intoxicated, I think that I still manage to maintain my train of thought.
	I'm coherent.
	I am able to conduct the show still.
	I mean, I'm obviously drunk when I'm drunk, but I think I hold my liquor pretty well.
	Particularly if you were to see, I need to take a picture of the bottle, this tequila bottle, that I was sucking on during the last show because these cats just won't shut up.
	This thing has, I mean, it was a brand new bottle, and there are about three inches left in the bottom of the bottle.
	And yet, I managed to still run this ship, push all the buttons, conduct myself.
	I mean, you could still understand what I was saying.
	I was still speaking English.
	Although that was probably the drunkest drunk cast ever.
	I mean, I was.
	People forget that you have so much stuff to do behind the scenes, but you make it sound easy.
	You know, Emby, I was just wondering something.
	Whatever happened to the gang of four?
	Like, and I know how it turned out with Pony Boy Sunset when they tried to do that podcast not included thing, but whatever happened to the gang of four and why were they so butthurt when things changed with the gab cast and stuff like Onin and Eddie D.
	I think there are a lot of reasons.
	There are a lot of reasons.
	I mean, it's multifaceted.
	And I'll list them as quickly as I can.
	And he's referring to the four people that used to regularly host the Gabcast.
	Eddie Dean, Jezmunda, B-Dub, and Onin.
	I believe the reason that Onin left Bell Gab is because he was so incensed that the private Falkey thread came to fruition, which, I mean, if you as a grown man who are working as a professional, a licensed professional, are going to get that bent out of shape because a private thread run by a grifter in California,
	a welfare state dependent in California, if you're going to get that bent out of shape that that guy was given a private thread and leave the forum because of it, I would say you might have been one of the problems with the forum.
	And then there was the fact that when Art Bell, oh, here's another one that upset them.
	And it was when Heather Wade became Art Bell's producer and she wanted to carry on hosting Gabcasts, even though she was Art's producer now.
	And I put the brakes on that immediately and just told her in plain language, no, I don't think that's a good idea.
	And the reason I didn't think it was a good idea was because, A, nobody's going to be allowed to speak freely about anything Art Bell's doing.
	B, she's going to become the focal point of the show.
	And I didn't feel like when there's a show hosted by four people that any one person should be the focal point.
	It should just be sort of a, you know, just a mishmash of everybody chiming in here and there.
	But I knew that she would, and she had already, her posture and her approach to doing those shows already had changed whenever she came into the good graces of Art Bell.
	And you could tell that she felt differently about herself and her approach to doing those shows with us changed entirely.
	And she was no longer, she became nauseating, frankly, to listen to.
	And the bow tie on the top of all of that was the time that George Norrie called in.
	And instead of just making a bit out of it or just, hey, you know, he's a human being.
	He's calling in.
	He's calling into the lion's den full of people that purportedly don't like him during the run-up of Art Bell's return to broadcasting with Midnight in the Desert.
	So this guy, George Norrie, here he is.
	He's going to call into the lion's den despite the fact that he is entirely dipping his toe into unfriendly territory.
	And he has the castinets to do that.
	And when he gets on the phone, all she does is berate him and shout him down and tell him what a piece of garbage that she thinks he is, just so she could show everybody what a pair she's swinging.
	And I didn't like that at all.
	And you know what?
	That was a show.
	I was a little bit intoxicated on that show.
	And it was due to my intoxication.
	I wasn't shit face plastered, but I was feeling a little bit saucy.
	And so I didn't step in and put the brakes on that the way I should have.
	And that's a regret that I have.
	As soon as I saw that she was commandeering everything and making it her personal crusade to let George Norrie know what a piece of shit he is when he had the balls to call in like that, which most people would never, ever do, particularly the host of a nationally syndicated radio show heard on over 500 radio stations.
	What the fuck does he need to call into this shit show for?
	This meaningless little podcast.
	I mean, why does he need to do that?
	But he did.
	And he's going to do so.
	And then she's going to shit down his throat.
	So I regretted not stepping in and doing anything about that.
	But Heather really changed once she came into the umbrella of Art Bell.
	And I didn't like her approach to doing the show anymore.
	She seemed like she seemed like she suddenly believed that she was some sort of a broadcast professional just because Art Bell took a shine to her.
	It's like, lady, you're sitting here doing this rinky-dink podcast with people who have years of actual commercial terrestrial radio experience.
	Who are you?
	I mean, I'm not going to defer to you, and I'm not impressed by you just because Art Bell suddenly likes you.
	I mean, you've hosted how many shows?
	Ten, maybe, at the most, and suddenly you're some sort of a seasoned pro because Art Bell decided he kind of likes you.
	I mean, get out of here.
	So she was the fifth of the gang of four at one stage.
	Well, sort of, yeah.
	Like, what would maybe happen is one of the gang of four would not be able to do the show, and she would step in.
	Usually, I think it worked out to be the case that when she was on, one of the gang of four was not.
	But me telling her in plain language, there was a private gabcast host thread so that all the gabcast hosts could communicate easily with one another and everybody could see what everyone else was saying.
	So it was the perfect mechanism for everybody to be able to communicate.
	And I told her in plain language, when she got the producer thing, someone was, you know, blowing smoke up her ass about how great that is.
	And oh, you're not going to be doing gabcasts anymore, huh?
	And that was the obvious conclusion.
	Yeah, it seems obvious that she won't be doing this show anymore.
	And then she said, oh, nope, you're not getting rid of me just yet.
	And that's when I came in.
	I said, well, really, I think, honestly, it probably would be best if you don't do these shows anymore.
	And it wasn't just because I didn't like the way her persona had taken on this affectation.
	I mean, it was just, it wasn't genuine.
	It was like an external event caused her to make a concerted effort to take on some sort of an affected personality that was not the girl that started out doing these shows with us, which many people lauded her presence on the show and really enjoyed her.
	I was never particularly blown away by anything she brought to the show, but a lot of people did like her.
	But her persona entirely changed whenever she came under the auspices of Art Bell Inc.
	And so I just told her in plain language, I don't think it's a good idea if you keep doing those shows, not only because of the way she personally changed, but also I actually did have friendly feelings toward her,
	and I didn't want her to come on this show and say something that was going to screw up her gig or be on the show with us when someone else said something that could be attached to her and sort of tangentially or indirectly affect her gig.
	So I just, for that reason and just others that I've already said, I thought it was not a good idea.
	And that pissed them off.
	That was something that the gang of four didn't like.
	Then they sound like a bunch of pussies, but like then they got what wasn't it, Pony Boy Since Sunset showed up on the scene and tried to like.
	Well, that's what I'm getting to.
	That's what I'm getting to next.
	Sorry.
	Then they decided one day after Pony Boy Sunset called in to tell everybody 30 times what a lesbian she is, which was all she ever brought to any broadcast was to talk about the fact that she's a lesbian.
	Like that's fucking shocking in 2016 or 2017 or whenever she was doing that.
	I mean, you know, if this were 1986 and you're doing that, you know, and you're one of the cast of Roseanne, maybe.
	Okay, well, that's a little bit edgy.
	But, you know, it's 2015, 2016, and nobody really gives a shit that you enjoy chewing on minge.
	That's not really something that's going to get people hot and bothered, okay?
	Nobody gives a shit that you're a lesbian.
	If you were a hot lesbian, maybe in that case, people would raise an eyebrow and be interested in what it is you have to say.
	But that didn't even, that wasn't even a factor in the situation.
	So I don't know why that was perceived by her to be something that she should repeatedly and incessantly bring to the show, but she did nevertheless.
	And for whatever reason, those four guys, because they themselves, I guess, don't ever expose themselves to truly interesting content, thought that that was somehow hip and happening.
	And they decided they needed to have her on the show.
	So then they brought her on as a co-host.
	Now we've got five fucking people doing a podcast.
	And I'm telling you, five people all trying to talk into a microphone on one show, which, by the way, they're all connected to one another via Skype.
	So you have the inherent latency that exists, as you and I have experienced here.
	Imagine five people all sitting here trying to do a show with, I don't know, like three quarters of a second of latency between all of them.
	And they're all stepping on each other.
	It's a big fucking mess.
	And beyond all of that, after they had her on for just one or two shows, they started having buyer's remorse.
	And then I got a personal private message from Eddie Dean regretting the fact that she had been asked by someone I think other than him to be a permanent host on the show.
	And he didn't verbatim say, I want you to do something about it, but why are you communicating with me about it if you're not looking for me to step in and be the bad guy and mop up this mess that you fucking people created for yourselves?
	Why bring me into it?
	It's got nothing to do with me.
	So he sends me this message, and that's when I said, okay, well, here's the best way forward then.
	Instead of this being like some sort of a club, some sort of a little clique where the same four motherfuckers do this show every time, how about if we just make it a show where anybody can host.
	And since Eddie Dean has all of the equipment to be able to put the show on the air, he'll be the regular host that's there every time so that he can actually connect everybody and put everybody on the air.
	Or I'll do that because I have the technical ability to do that as well.
	And then all of the other hosts will just be people who've volunteered in the Gadcast thread to do the show.
	Well, that pissed them off then because that was their little fiefdom and they didn't want that being taken away from them, which again, if this minuscule little podcast, I mean, how many, okay, what is this thing downloaded by a thousand people?
	And it takes about two weeks for it.
	It takes about two weeks for this show to be downloaded by a thousand people.
	I don't know how many are listening live right now.
	Actually, that's a good question.
	Let me go in here and, well, I don't have LastPass installed on my Brave browser here, so I'm not going to be able to do that.
	But it's probably about between 40 and 60 people listening live right now.
	Usually that's the number, something like that.
	So it's this minuscule little thing that really is rather inconsequential.
	Everybody's just effectively doing the equivalent of farting into a microphone and having a good time, and then we all go back to our regular lives after doing this podcast.
	But for some reason, man, these people put so much weight into this thing that they were doing.
	I don't know what they thought they were going to parlay this into.
	Like if they thought WABC was going to suddenly call up and ask that, you know what?
	We've heard what you're doing on the Gabcast, and we like you.
	So if we could go ahead and get you to come on after, what's his name?
	John Batchelor or something, we'd like to have that happen.
	I mean, I don't know what they thought they were going to parlay this thing into, but when that change was made, which, by the way, is something that happened because I was minding my own business and somebody sent me a message that I interpreted as a plea for help, but without asking directly, can you do something about this?
	Because neither of these guys wanted to be the bad guy.
	It's better to make me the fucking bad guy.
	And I don't mind it because, as I mentioned earlier, I'm not too heavily invested emotionally in internet acquaintances and interactions.
	So, okay, you know what?
	I'll go ahead and do that.
	Plus, it gets a little monotonous hearing the same people do this all the time anyway.
	I mean, you want a little bit of variety.
	You want to hear different people that you've not heard before, hear what their voices sound like.
	Gives you a little bit of additional context when you're reading their posts on the forum.
	I find that to be something that's utterly and completely lacking in a lot of instances where there is hostility between two people is the contextual understanding that the missing information.
	You know, when you can hear somebody's vocal intonation and how they present themselves verbally, and there's a lot to that.
	There's a lot of information you can glean from listening to somebody speak as opposed to just explicitly reading what it is they're saying on a computer screen.
	Such as?
	I mean, their emotional state, they're genuine, or whether they're genuine or not, whether they seem rooted in reality and balanced.
	You know, I mean, you're a great example of that.
	I mean, as much as you go on the internet and you talk about how you have you're compromised in various ways mentally, psychologically, and sometimes you type things that might raise an eyebrow or two.
	But then when people hear your voice, it adds an additional layer of context to you as a person that I think causes people to perhaps.
	I'm not saying necessarily, oh, suddenly I like Azure because I heard his voice on the podcast.
	I don't mean that.
	I just mean that it adds additional information, good or bad.
	Okay.
	It's a better, it's a more complete package as you seek to assess somebody and size them up and understand what makes them tick.
	Have you still not listened to any of my podcasts and we haven't had the time, right?
	Well, I've had several clips sent to me, but only on one or two occasions have I listened to them because it was always pointed out to me that this is one where Azure hopes you die in a house fire.
	This is one where Azure is using your own shtick and wishing you crash into a bridge abutment.
	This is one where I was only using the Hadine of Fire thing because you said that to Tootsie and I was trying to level the plane.
	But you know, did I say that?
	I don't recall.
	Yeah, she, yeah, you said that she should die in a house fire.
	Yeah.
	She was pretty upset about that.
	Well, I intended her to be if I said that.
	I don't ever say something like that to somebody because I'm trying to be nice.
	I mean, I'm not.
	I want to tell everybody that I said, you know, I was talking about, I was very angry yesterday because Metron was bitching at me that I spent too much time on Belgab, okay?
	And my podcast was very angry.
	But I just want everybody to know when I said that I want to put a bullet in Briggs' head, I was kidding.
	I was joking.
	Maybe it's not funny to a lot of people.
	Why can't you just array?
	Yeah.
	Were you really joking?
	Because I don't think anybody believes that.
	Don't take this as me coming down on you or anything like that.
	Say it.
	Nobody believes you were just joking.
	I think the more accurate way to summarize the situation is that you simply regret having said it and your emotions got the better of you in that moment.
	The only reason I want to say I regret it is so that, like, nobody takes legal action on me, but nobody.
	Oh, come on.
	No one's going to take legal action on you.
	We're just talking about this on a human level.
	I mean, one human being talking about another human being.
	I mean, don't you, I mean, like, if you, if you mention to me an instance in which I told someone that I hope they die or burn in a fire or whatever, I allegedly said.
	Do you regret saying that?
	No, I don't regret it one bit.
	No.
	And how come he's not allowed to say that?
	It's not a matter of that.
	It's just me listening to the way because I'm not the one sitting here saying that I was kidding.
	If someone, if I get to the point where someone has motivated me to say, you know what, I really hope that you just burn in a fire, or I hope that you crash into a bridge abutment.
	No, they must have said or done something that actually pushed me to the point of saying that to them.
	So I'm not going to now say that I was joking, and I certainly don't regret it.
	It's a cop-out.
	Okay, fine.
	It's a cop-out.
	But, you know, when it comes to Brig, I'm probably just.
	I don't know how to explain it or articulate it.
	I think it's simple.
	I don't think it's a complicated thing.
	I think you were in the heat of the moment, and there was external stimuli.
	I mean, I think now, again, have you ever specifically stated that you're schizophrenic?
	Is that what you've been diagnosed with with schizophrenia?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Well, it's schizoaffective disorder.
	So that's not schizophrenia.
	It's bipolar with schizophrenia, but it's sort of milder than schizophrenia itself.
	It's a mood disorder coupled with elements of schizophrenia.
	Okay, so I would say that I'm probably safe in asserting that someone who goes about their life with that condition is more affected by external stimuli than someone who doesn't go through the life with that condition.
	Is that a pretty accurate assessment?
	I guess.
	I mean, maybe, well, maybe you don't know because you've never not lived with those circumstances dogging you.
	Well, it comes on, it comes on like in your late 20s, and that's pretty much when it came to a head for me.
	So like it's definitely that and it makes a lot of sense and it was but you see maybe I just draw conclusions where I need not and you know maybe Brig is just good at trolling and she's good at trolling me and she's good at trolling star and then we are these hypersensitive creatures that attach so much weight to people that are literally inconsequential in the real world.
	And then because we're talking to you who is part of that world and it's bleeding into reality because we're hearing your voice, it starts to sound silly when we talk about it.
	But Brig's just good at her game of trolling, I guess, because she does it without even interacting with certain people.
	So she's good at getting people mad and that's what she wants.
	So she's getting it.
	I don't see why she wouldn't like me if I'm giving her exactly what she wants.
	See?
	Well, I think that you intellectually understand that you are more affected by external stimuli than someone who doesn't go through life day to day with your disorder.
	I mean, you probably would agree with that statement.
	And since you do agree with that statement and you do intellectually understand that, I think you know that in the heat of the moment, as you are engaging in this stream of consciousness on your podcast,
	You are going to allow this snowball effect of emotion to build on itself as you roll along, almost all of which is caused by external stimuli that you're affected by more so than someone without your condition would be.
	And that's why, and it's because you intellectually understand your hypersensitivity to these things that I think you regret saying that.
	but for some reason you have this borderline that you don't want to cross and say that.
	Use those words to...
	Because I know what's going to happen.
	I'm going to get fucking, I'm going to get like, you know what Asgab is going to be like after I've been on with you.
	No matter what I do.
	I'm in fucking trouble.
	So what?
	Trouble?
	How does that affect your day-to-day life?
	I mean, when you're brushing your teeth.
	When you're brushing your teeth the next morning, the toothpaste is going to taste the same.
	Your cereal is going to taste the same.
	Your car is going to drive the same way.
	The sky is still going to be blue.
	Your clothes are going to fit the same way.
	Your interpersonal relationships with real people in your day-to-day life are not going to have changed.
	So what kind of a heap of shit are you going to be in?
	It just doesn't matter where I go, whether it's my own site or Bulgab, I'm always the one who fucking catches the shit.
	But maybe it's something wrong with me and not other people.
	I don't know.
	And also, what I do regret most is becoming this guy that always sounds like he's using his illness as an excuse.
	Maybe I shouldn't have ever mentioned it.
	But you see, I don't want to sound like that guy like, oh, this happened because of that.
	Like, you know, I can overcome this shit.
	And I think I'm a lot more well-adjusted than I used to be a couple months ago by doing the work.
	But that's just my opinion.
	I don't know.
	Well, I think it's a pretty consuming disorder to live with.
	I've read posts at one point where you described hearing voices.
	You've been on a wide array of medications, some of which have worked better than others.
	So it's something that has consumed your life in many ways.
	And I don't see how you're going to engage people on the internet with any level of substance where that subject is not going to somehow creep its way into the conversation you're having with people.
	I mean, it's, I guess.
	I mean, I don't blame you for that cat having been let out of the bag.
	It seems like something inevitable.
	If anybody's worried about actual violence from me, I'm usually most harmful.
	I'm actually usually most harmful to myself, in all honesty, and not others.
	Although I have had moments when I've become incredibly violent, and I've had lots of, I mean, South Africa is a violent country.
	I've had, and I'm not talking about black people.
	I suppose most of the people that fucking beat me up and shit were whites.
	But like, I've had this, I've lived this life where I've always had the smart mouth and it's got me in trouble.
	And I've, you know, I've not a soft pussy that walks around and just like takes shit from people.
	I seriously, if I had to go to Deacon's house, I'd fuck him up, man.
	I'm probably smaller than he is, but I would fuck him up.
	Like, I'm not to be taken lightly because people think that talking on a fucking broadcast like Deacon does is supposed to be something hardcore because he's got these controversial opinions.
	No, I've actually lived in a lifestyle which is violent and I've gotten in legal trouble before.
	So people mustn't fuck with me because I really won't take it.
	I really won't take it lying down.
	But then again, I lose perspective sometimes and I take this shit on these boards too seriously.
	And when I hear Star talking the way she does, I see that I recognize that behavior in myself.
	And I feel like I just got to overcome it because I'm sure I'm annoying everybody on Belgab day before yesterday.
	Every post was mine coming back at MD and a bunch of other people.
	I thought you were going to get pissed off and you're probably going to ban me sometime or the other for shitting up threads, I guess, but it's not over the whole forum.
	I don't know what you feel about that.
	You've been something of a focal point of discussion over the last week or two.
	So it seemed almost expected that things were going to be pretty heavily leaned toward Azure over that period of time.
	You know what's so funny, MV?
	What's so funny is that you can do no wrong in MD's eyes or Briggs' eyes.
	And even if you'd have me on, you're wrong about that.
	Even the fact that you'd have me on, me on, just me, just me on, they would never criticize you for having me on.
	Wrong.
	Probably.
	They will sing your praises till the cows come home, but the fact that I'm on with you and you chose that to happen, it's all fine.
	But anything I do, I'm an idiot.
	I'm a piece of shit.
	I'm a faggot.
	I'm this.
	I'm that.
	I'm the fucking next thing.
	So I'm wrong about that.
	Can you please explain how?
	Well, I will say to you this: as I discussed with you last night when we were testing and kind of shooting the shit a little bit, I talk on Voxer with Brig a lot.
	And when I do something or make a decision, she tells me flatly that she thinks I'm wrong.
	She knows there's nothing she can do about it.
	She can't make me reverse whatever decision I made or, you know, backtrack unless she convinces me.
	But I would never just, it would never just reactively.
	It wouldn't be some sort of a reflexive thing where, oh, Brig doesn't.
	Okay, well, she is in that instance.
	Well, I mean, there was a particular incident recently, in fact, with an image that was posted by somebody, and I didn't remove the image.
	And Brig was a little bit confused as to why I didn't remove the image.
	And at the end of that conversation, we simply, and I further explained why I didn't remove it.
	She said, Yeah, I understand your reasoning, but she wasn't fully on board with it.
	And before I fully explained myself, she was effectively telling me that she doesn't agree with what I did.
	I mean, Brig, when I do something that she disagrees with, she tells me.
	Tell you that she doesn't like that.
	I'm going to be on with you.
	I'm not going to relay the details of conversations I have with people.
	I mean, if they want to call in and say that, they can do that.
	I'm pushing my luck a bit there.
	But I only want to impart upon you the fact that I'm not beyond criticism.
	I will tell you this: that there is a there are moments when I'm sure people would criticize me if I weren't me.
	It's like, for instance, talking politics on the forum.
	I don't really particularly enjoy doing that because the reaction people have to the things that I express politically, the political opinions I would express, those reactions are not going to be the same as they would be if Dr. MDMD expressed them or anybody else.
	Because I'm the forum administrator.
	So people have a natural tendency to pace themselves in how they react to things that I say.
	And that's just the natural, that's just natural, that's human nature.
	You know, there's nothing that can be done about that.
	But that's why there's a lot of stuff that I shy away from discussing on the forum.
	And it's actually been a source of it's actually in some ways ruined my own personal experience in using the forum because definitely.
	I know what that feels like.
	I can't have genuine interactions with people.
	The only way I could do that is to create a sock puppet account, as the kids say.
	And I'm pretty honest with you.
	Well, yeah, but you've already broken so much ice in terms of feeling the freedom to say to me what you or about me, what you want to say, that I don't exactly.
	I don't think I hold back on.
	I'm not like Jackie.
	Oh, boy.
	He's just plain rude.
	Yeah, you just kind of have to learn how to read him.
	No, I like him.
	Believe me, he's one of my favorites.
	But I just think that he is a bit rude sometimes.
	But I guess that's a question of free speech.
	But I want to say something that may sound accusatory, and please just hear me out because I'll back it up with something.
	I feel personally, and obviously you're not as mentally compromised sometimes as I have been in the past, but I do feel like you listen to, I do feel like the fact that you listen to Rush is dangerous.
	And secondly, why I say that is because I'm sure you've heard, if you're a fan of him, as much as a fan as I am or was, that he talks about how well he feels when he doesn't consume any media or news and when he has the breaks.
	And I found when I went cold turkey off everything, it increased my quality of life like a thousand fold.
	And that's something I got, I took from his advice, but I stopped listening to his show as well because I found myself making points that maybe you're more nuanced in your.
	I just feel like he can propagandize the mind sometimes and it's dangerous.
	But I mean, you're a grown man.
	I just worry.
	That's all.
	You know what I'm saying?
	What specifically do you worry about with me listening to Rush?
	I feel like he almost Propagandizes people into like an extremist sort of frame of mind in a way.
	Um, I know he can be measured at times and middle of the road, but I just feel like he can change one's perceptions to a point where I mean, okay, for an example, let me try and give you an illustration of what I'm saying.
	You were on with Evelyn Barney the last time you were on with her.
	You, you, you were speaking politics and you were attacking her like there was no tomorrow, and you were angry, man.
	And I sounded, I mean, I heard in your voice the anger that used to come out of me when I used to be a ditto head, man.
	And I just felt so sad because it felt like you were wrecking your relationship with her because of the bombastic nature of the way you were arguing your points.
	And you were just seeing her as a leftist when that isn't clearly, that isn't exactly what she was.
	And you said nice DNC talking points when she wasn't even talking about the DNC.
	And then you apologized, but she was near tears.
	And have you listened to that show with any regularity?
	Because over the years that we did that show, she was near tears probably every other broadcast.
	I mean, it didn't take much.
	That was sort of standard fair.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that was a standard.
	I mean, Evelyn had various issues of her own, which alcoholism, perhaps.
	No.
	She was just extremely sensitive, and that sensitivity was directly connected to the issues that she had.
	And I reached a point where, and I'm still at this point, anyone who believes that the president of the United States is an agent of the Russian government, despite all the additional sanctions that have been put on the Russian government, despite the fact that about 350 Russian mercenaries were killed by the Trump administration in Syria,
	despite the fact that the Trump administration has decided to send various forms of arms to Ukraine that the Obama administration refused to send.
	I mean, there's example after example after example of the lack of friendliness and the assertion of American interests relative to Russia since this guy has become president.
	Yet, I still, when I look at a free-flowing political discussion on the internet, see people talking about Russia, the Russian president.
	Oh, well, he's just doing Putin's bidding.
	And I just reached a point where, if that's your approach to analyzing what's happening politically, I'm not interested in your opinion.
	I can't, even before he became president, listening to people go on about Russian involvement in the 2016 election and that having been to Trump's benefit or Trump explicitly choosing to work with him, that was sort of a litmus test that I personally decided to implement to decide who I'm even going to bother talking to.
	And particularly now, fast forward three years with all of the events that I just described to you that have occurred since this guy has become president.
	My feelings on that are even further accentuated and solidified.
	I can't be bothered with anybody who views that as the primary mechanism by which they're going to criticize him.
	And It just felt to me like this person that for years I did this podcast with, who, while she, yes, came from a political philosophy that was incongruent with my own in many ways, she was still reasonable.
	And there's something about the 2016 election that took people that I previously thought, while they may disagree with my worldview, at least they're still reasonable, and you can still have a conversation with them.
	It took people who I had that perception of, and it flipped a switch.
	And these people are now suffering from a psychological affliction.
	I mean, I really do believe that the last three years have, in a clinical sense, I'm not speaking about this colloquially or anything like in a very clinical sense, the last three years have afflicted some people to the point where rationality has gone out the door.
	I mean, this guy.
	That happened to me.
	This guy's a Russian agent.
	I can't be bothered with that.
	And my litmus test in this regard began before he even became president.
	And when I discovered that Evelyn was fully on board with that, you know, flamed the Jets full stream ahead on board with that.
	That was rather disappointing to me to see.
	Was she with Bernie?
	I don't know who she was with.
	I don't necessarily know that she had made any sort of an affiliation, but I would say someone of her age who's old enough to understand McCarthyism and understand reds under the bed and moral panics and someone with a master's degree who understands how these moral panics occur and they build on one another,
	whether it's playing records in reverse and hearing Satan or whether it's, you know, if you see people wearing robes or something, watch out.
	They're probably sacrificing animals.
	They'll get your kids.
	Oh, watch out when your kids go trick-or-treating.
	There might be razor blades in there.
	All of these panics that build on themselves and they all come and go and they follow a certain path.
	They follow a certain formulaic, they have a certain formulaic lifespan, and you can almost measure it in terms of years.
	I think most of them are said to last about 10 to 15 years and then they start to wane.
	And the next thing that everybody is freaked out about comes along.
	And what I see that's happened over the last three years or so with everybody flipping their shit about Russia, to me, that's no different at all than pulling people before Senator McCarthy's committee and asking them, have they now, are they now or have they ever been a member of the Communist Party?
	I mean, the people who would shout McCarthyism the most loudly for decades are now themselves the McCarthyites.
	And the ironic thing about it to me is that it's the Russians again.
	I mean, it's, let's all be scared of the Russians, this shithole third world country that is a mole on our ass economically that has a first world military, but otherwise it's a third world cesspit of a country where all of their good DNA was wiped out by Stalin as he got rid of all the scholars, got rid of the doctors, got rid of the lawyers, got rid of all the academics,
	got rid of anybody who was in any way intellectually a threat to the regime.
	You do that to 30 million people.
	Suddenly you're going to start to notice a measurable effect on the gene pool.
	We'll put it that way.
	This country is in no way a threat to the United States or something that ought to be considered as we wake up in the morning and assess the threats that we face in the world.
	Russia's not going to nuke us, and so long as they're not going to nuke us, that's the end of any concern we should have.
	Full stop.
	But for whatever reason, people are assigning so much weight to this butt crack of a country where everything is corrupt and everyone is defrauding one another to the point where you got to put a traffic cam on your dashboard because you can't go to the store without someone running in front of your car trying to claim that you hit them and squeeze a few rubles out of you.
	I mean, it's a joke, that country.
	And the idea that we're going to wake up one morning and realize that we don't have free and fair elections because of Russia.
	If you want to know why we don't have free and fair elections, if it ever becomes the case that we don't, it's because of the Republican and Democratic National Committees, which are both private organizations.
	You know, the RNC and the DNC have no affiliation with government whatsoever.
	They are private corporations.
	They are for-profit, private corporations, no different than Walmart.
	And yet, we have an election every four years and we pretend if the candidate isn't a part of the machines that both of these for-profit corporations have established for themselves, that something's amiss.
	Something is askew if this person doesn't have an R or a D after their name every four years, which unfortunately has become the case that you just can't win unless you do have an R or a D next to your name.
	Which Trump, I think, was neither a Republican nor a Democrat, but he just he assessed the situation and realized he was going to have to run as a Republican if he was going to run.
	And so he did.
	Do you think independents are full of shit in a way?
	I don't know.
	They call themselves independent.
	I don't know.
	I think a lot of people who call themselves independents do so because they want to pretend that they're somehow above having political ideology that guides their world.
	Michael Savage feels himself an independent.
	Yeah.
	That guy really fucking, he went from being great on the radio to doing this podcast, and it was awful, dude.
	I had to stop listening to him.
	I don't know if you used to.
	I don't think you liked him very much.
	I used to.
	I used to listen to him, but the problem is he is so negative, and he is so defeatist, and he is the biggest buzzkill I think you can find on the radio today.
	Not that he's on the radio anymore, but I mean, if you wanted to, if you wanted to have some sort of a motivation to reach for the nearest box of razor blades, listening to Michael Savage was a great way to make that happen.
	If you're just ready to punch out and you're looking for a good excuse to do so, go listen to three hours of Michael Savage, and I swear to God, you're going to be ready to just put a hose in the exhaust pipe of your car and call it a day.
	One person I could never get into, however, is Mark Levin.
	Oh, he's terrible.
	Metron loves him, and Star Mountain loves him, but I just, I can't stand the guy.
	He's another one of these guys like Glenn Beck, who spent a year and a half calling people like me idiots, and then suddenly Trump gets elected, and now they're on board, and now he's the greatest president that's ever lived.
	And it's like, dude, what is it that I was able to see in him that you couldn't see for a year and a half or two years?
	What is it you were not able to see in him that I was able to?
	And now you're still sitting in front of a microphone like you have some sort of political credibility.
	Like you're somehow still able to read the landscape.
	Like you've got your finger on the pulse of something.
	And all of these people are old.
	He's an actor, man.
	He's an actor.
	All of these people are old.
	Glenn Beck is old.
	Not old in the way we would define that word, but I think in terms of these people having their finger on the pulse of what's happening and the mood of things and why events are occurring the way they are, these people are old and they're viewing the world through the prism of 1990s Republicanism.
	Like if you looked at a lot of them are boomers, so they don't really understand what we're going through.
	That's right.
	I mean, like, if you looked at the 2016 election and the elect the Republicans who wanted Ted Cruz, those were all Republicans who have not been able to get their head out of this 1990s idea of what it is to be a Republican.
	Like the Republicans that are still outraged that Bill Clinton blasted a load on Monica Lewinsky's dress.
	What are you kidding me?
	How could you be married to that woman and not be blasting random loads all over the place at any given opportunity?
	Particularly if you're the president.
	You know what was hilarious was when Trump brought out all those women and sat them down and had them.
	Oh, that was classic.
	That was like he did it so quietly and calmly.
	That was the debate right after they played the audio from the oh, what's that guy?
	Billy Bush.
	And what's the show that they called that audio from?
	Anyway, they had that audio of Trump on a bus saying Days of Our Lives, wasn't it?
	No.
	Come on.
	He was perving at a girlfriend, a woman from Days of Our Lives.
	He was looking at her legs saying, ooh, nice legs.
	And then he forgot how to open the handle of the bus.
	Trump, that was pretty funny.
	The way I was joking about he said, well, I'll say this.
	The way I heard that audio was Trump saying, when you're rich and you're famous, women throw themselves at you.
	That's how I heard that audio.
	And I don't see anything about that that's shocking.
	I don't see that as a revelation.
	And I wasn't offended by that at all.
	And in fact, I felt like all the pearl clutching that occurred after that audio was released, that pearl clutching took place on the part of women who don't understand men and men who were never the guy who got the girl.
	That's exactly what I said to my girlfriend at the time.
	I was like, that's exactly how guys talk.
	Like, why is everybody so shocked?
	I think most of the men, most of the women who were so incensed by that, if you could see the deep, dark recesses of their relationships with men and how those relationships play out and the dynamic they have with men who've been in their lives, it would be a horror show.
	I mean, I'm a nasty woman.
	Yeah.
	I mean, are you?
	Well, that's why you're miserable and your inability to have a healthy relationship with anybody of the opposite sex has plagued you for 40 years.
	What about Dr. Laura?
	You like her?
	Yeah, actually, I like Dr. Laura a lot.
	I used to enjoy listening to her.
	Everyone I like, you like.
	And everyone you don't like, I don't like.
	It's so weird.
	You like Glenn Beck?
	You like Mark Levin?
	I thought you said you don't.
	Because I don't.
	No, no.
	No, no.
	I'm saying that we have the same likes and dislikes.
	I'm sorry.
	I thought you said we were opposites.
	Sorry.
	Yeah, I like Dr. Laura a lot.
	I think that Dr. Laura gave a lot of great advice that women should listen to and would have.
	I think if you could summarize what it was that Dr. Laura brought to the table, it was that the happiness women have with their men, women are entirely in control of that.
	More so than they ever would give themselves credit for.
	Women have far more power than they would ever believe.
	In the Western world, if you want to be on the show, the number to call 573-837-4948.
	It's 573-837-4948.
	You know what?
	Here's another audio clip that someone posted in the Gabcast thread.
	I mean, I hate to go back to it, but why not?
	I mean, it's a clip.
	It was aired.
	And the title of this clip is Azaree Dockses Brig and Threatens Murder in Episode 31.
	This is from...
	Yeah, that's VC.
	He's out to get me all the time.
	Whatever, yeah.
	Well, I mean, maybe he's out to get you.
	Maybe he's not.
	But I mean, if this was something that aired on your show.
	That's Zaza, by the way.
	That's Zaza.
	Who is Zaza?
	VC.
	You really think so?
	I know so.
	Oh, how do you know?
	Because he doesn't write with the same syntax at all.
	It's very similar.
	You think so?
	That's the first time I've ever seen anybody assert that VC is Zaza.
	And I would be interested to know how many people agree with that because he doesn't seem to have the same writing syntax at all to me.
	Well, here's this clip.
	I'm going to play it.
	And since it says it's a doxing, if there is any actual doxing, I'll just dump out of it so we don't have to worry about it.
	No, no, no.
	Here comes the clip.
	Here it goes.
	Aaron Fig told me that my podcast was good, dude.
	That's a genuine person.
	But I'm not just elated at the fact that somebody paid me a compliment.
	No.
	All I'm saying is that the haters are the ones that are trying to tell me that there was nothing to listen to.
	Brigg said something about I couldn't even get through the first segment.
	But you know what, Brig?
	She also said that people need to bring something interesting to her attention so she doesn't have to sit through the podcast.
	So I responded by saying somebody should bring around the bullets to your attention.
	Because I would love nothing more than to take out my 38, pull the trigger.
	Was that your sound effect?
	Or did somebody insert that into this clip?
	That was my sound effect.
	Okay.
	Nothing more than to take out my 38, pull the trigger, and have it go directly through Brig Hot.
	Watch her fall to the floor.
	I would like to strangle her.
	I would like nothing more than to drown her in a bathtub.
	Or to toss a toaster in a bathtub.
	Oh, she's in it.
	But I wouldn't want to see that bitch naked.
	No, no.
	Well, it would be odd if he tossed the toaster into a bathtub while she's not in it.
	I mean, it was like now he's just into vandalizing toasters.
	I mean, I don't know how effective that necessarily was.
	But I wouldn't want to see that bitch naked.
	No, no.
	Oh, Envy has been a gracious man for someone who has had his integrity impugned and lampooned by me many a time.
	Okay, well, there was a bit of doxing in there, and I did dump out of that.
	Hmm.
	Sorry.
	Whoops.
	Am I in trouble?
	No, I mean, I dumped out of it.
	It didn't air.
	I'll just have to remember to rip that out of the.
	Actually, I feel bad.
	I feel bad now.
	Do you?
	Yep, I feel bad.
	So, you do have regret.
	Yeah, probably.
	I mean, I'm not forcing you to say that.
	I mean, if you genuinely have regret, that's great.
	And if you don't, that's fine too.
	No, it's just like I sound like I'm listening to someone else there.
	I know, and I and I knew you would feel that way.
	It's just like I'm in such a good mood now, but like then I was fucking like punching walls and like screaming and hitting things around.
	And I was really angry yesterday.
	That was just yesterday.
	That was yesterday.
	Yeah, sorry, man.
	It doesn't feel like me even at all.
	Something takes over me sometimes and I get in a really bad frame of mind.
	And that's actually quite an eye-opener for me because it doesn't even feel like I'm listening to myself.
	Well, that, yeah, I'm sure it doesn't.
	And that's why I wanted to play that for you because I think if you can step out of the environment you were in when you said those things and you can hear it in an entirely different context.
	I didn't verbally say this, but in my own mind, I was predicting that you would have that reaction as if you're listening to somebody else.
	So I mean, I could ask the same question to you that I asked of Star Mountain.
	I mean, what is it?
	What is it about Brig?
	I don't understand.
	You know what?
	I think it's like a lot of different things that have been floated by people that whisper in my ear, coupled with some of the things that when I get my perception gets out of whack and I lose touch with reality sometimes.
	And I build on these things and they become real to me because if I'm like spending a lot of time alone and I'm not interacting with other people really in real life and I'm spending too much time on the boards and stuff, I guess it just becomes something that feels completely natural and real to me and I don't know.
	Like I said earlier, Briggs' very good at trolling me because she's getting what she wants, I suppose.
	Me talking about her.
	It's been many things that have been told to me about her.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I don't really know, MV.
	I don't know, man.
	She's good at making me mad.
	So you can't really quantify what it is.
	I mean, there's just maybe an attitudinal thing about her that you can't quite peg, but you know it when you see it and it gets you.
	No, I feel like I'm betraying myself by not coming up with anything.
	But it's not that you're putting me on the spot.
	You're asking me a legitimate question.
	But it's just like the people I hang out with, I guess, that have had things supposedly done to them in their own minds, and then it becomes like real to me.
	But I'm going to try my best to move past it because if she can ignore me, I can ignore her.
	And I don't know, man.
	I don't know.
	I think that would be very healthy.
	And I think that.
	Yeah, but it's sometimes hard for me, but yeah, I don't know, man.
	Well, I know it's going to be hard, but I think you need to put your head in a different place.
	And you also need to.
	I mean, I've been actually, I've been sent screenshots of things people have said to you on your own forum because you've been using Belgab.
	And because when using Belgab, you haven't dropped in to tell me repeatedly that I should die in a fire.
	And because you're not saying those things to me, these people on your forum have in some ways kind of turned on you.
	Well, it felt like that the past couple days since I've been on ban and stuff last week.
	If it felt like that, there might be a reason why it felt that way.
	Well, that's why I got so angry yesterday was because Metron was giving me such a hard time.
	But, you know, then I started going off on brig for God knows why.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	Well, I'm just, I'm just, what I'm getting at here is I think that you should be more careful with viewpoints that you expose your two, and you should be more careful when it comes to the people that you choose to communicate with online.
	Because if there are people out there who, knowing your mental state, are upset that certain elements of the anger within you have subsided, that doesn't exactly sound like, to me at least, people who necessarily have your best interests at heart.
	And I'm not even trying to say that it's their job to have your best interests at heart.
	Maybe this comes back to the whole people on the internet are not really your friends thing.
	Yeah, but you know what I'm noticing?
	I'm no better than all the faults I found with Michael Deacon.
	So, yeah.
	Maybe we've maybe we have entered some helpful territory here tonight.
	You know, maybe we have maybe we're going to like it.
	I don't know.
	I mean, it's not, it doesn't.
	It doesn't shame you in any way.
	It doesn't make you look like an idiot.
	It doesn't make you like there's nothing you've said tonight and anything you've explained or anything that you've asserted about other people or there's nothing you've said tonight that coming away from it, I feel negatively toward you as a result of.
	No, I haven't heard you say anything tonight that made me feel more negatively toward you or negatively at all toward you.
	Did somebody call you just now?
	Yeah, Star Mountain has tried to call a few times, but I feel like...
	I thought Deacon was going to call in.
	I want to really iron things out with him, but he doesn't seem to.
	Maybe he's just like kidding around with me.
	Maybe I need to stop taking him so seriously.
	Was he telling you that he's going to call in?
	No, no, no, no.
	No.
	I don't know.
	I don't think he still phone him.
	Okay.
	It's not that I want him to.
	It's just that I want to settle everything because...
	I would like him to.
	I think it'd be interesting radio.
	You know, I don't personally take a liking to his voice, his broadcast style, everything like that.
	And I know that's probably bothers him a lot, even if he says it doesn't.
	But I'm not saying that just to be an asshole.
	It's just a personal preference.
	And I think he can probably accept it, but I think it does burn his ass because I think that a lot of his self-worth is attached to his achievements with the show, and he's very proud of it.
	And, you know, I just didn't like the way he conducted himself.
	But, like, I'm a bigot and a hypocrite for even casting judgment on others because of the things I've said and have been played today.
	You know, so I don't really have many legs to stand on, as it were, right now.
	Well, I think maybe going forward after this show tonight, as you saw that any paranoia you had about me, the things that you were afraid might happen, that I might set you up somehow.
	I wasn't paranoid about you.
	I was told that I must be careful of you and stuff, but I personally didn't feel that.
	I have my gut tells me certain things about certain people, but I didn't feel like that about you.
	I was told to be careful of you and stuff.
	But well, I mean, if you wished that I'd die in a fire or if you went so far as to dox me on your podcast, I mean, you had to have had negative feelings toward me and you had to have had reservations about doing this tonight.
	It would be hard to believe that you didn't.
	Back then, yes, but after I phoned into you on the 22nd, I think that things, like in my mind, between us were much better.
	Even if you listen to the podcast that I did after that, I know you got lots of stuff on your plate and you don't listen to my podcast.
	But if anybody had, they would notice that I started talking about how things between myself and you had gotten better and that I explained everything.
	I went into everything, all my thoughts on it.
	The podcast is supposed to be a form of self-therapy for myself, but then the problem is I release it onto these boards and there's people that like getting me mad.
	So it sometimes works against me.
	So I'm in a bit of a tough position, I guess.
	But I think my skin is thicker than it used to be.
	I think I used to be a bit more sensitive on Belgab than I am nowadays since I've been receiving treatment for my problems.
	I don't know if you see that or others do, but I think that I'm getting better.
	But I think tonight was very healthy for you.
	I got a message from Star Mountain that I would like to address.
	She said, you cut me off on Gabcast.
	That's how she worded it, but I'm okay.
	Well, first off, everybody gets cut off.
	There's never a okay.
	Well, you have a good night.
	It was a good.
	That's not.
	It just slows the rhythm of everything down.
	That's not cut me off.
	That's never been how I end a call with anybody.
	She said, you made some statements about me that were not true.
	I'd like a chance to defend myself just between us.
	That I won't do.
	That I won't do.
	I mean, everything that was exchanged between us as a result of the things I perceived to be taking place, that all happened publicly.
	So any further discussion of it can also happen publicly.
	She says, if you're up for this, let me know when you're still in my heart, Michael.
	No, I'm not going to do that.
	Go ahead, Azerae.
	I just want to know, like, I assume that you haven't spoken to her ever since she was banned.
	No.
	Why is it that you felt like it was proper to talk to her publicly on this show, but not in private if she wanted to talk to you and stuff?
	Is it because you didn't feel it would lead anywhere?
	Because I do not like it when people take a certain posture publicly and then they want to fix the mess that was publicly made in private.
	I feel like if the mess is going to be made publicly, you can mop it up publicly too.
	Now, if there were a falling out that happened between me and somebody else in private that nobody knew of, then I'm not going to mop that up publicly.
	That's going to be happen behind the scene.
	That's going to happen behind the scenes and you'll never know anything occurred.
	But it's sort of, as I said, when she started this whole thing, letting everybody know what an evil force in the world Brig is.
	And then I asked her to publicly explain on the forum why she's saying this was like a year ago.
	And I said, well, if you're going to publicly go after her like that, maybe you should also publicly explain specifically what it is that she's done.
	And that's when she said, I'd rather do it in private or PM.
	And I didn't pursue it any further.
	This is not, in my way of seeing things, the right way to handle that.
	If you're going to launch salvos publicly, well, then everything can be handled publicly or not.
	Not to get back on this shit all the fucking time because it's so being overspoken of that.
	But Brig and I were cordial at one point.
	And then she and I just were at odds a lot and had disagreed a lot about stuff.
	I think it all comes down to disagreements and differences of opinion.
	But aside from all that stuff, I mentioned the open letter to Gravity Sucks.
	Well, I wanted to mention the open letter to Gravity Sucks thread.
	Did you enjoy that thread?
	Did you feel like that was a good time had by all at that time when we were all having fun in that thread together?
	I think that was like some of the funnest times we've ever had on Belgab.
	I don't know how you felt about it.
	Well, I mean, I enjoyed it.
	Yeah, I enjoyed it.
	I thought there was a lot of funny stuff.
	Yeah, I enjoyed it.
	Why is there some question in your mind about that?
	I mean, it seems that, and you have mentioned this before.
	In recent times, you've mentioned that you had some regrets about that thread's existence and your role in that thread.
	Where did I mention that?
	This is one of the clips that somebody sent me of your podcast.
	You listened to it.
	Well, I did listen to that clip, yeah.
	Okay.
	And I think there were some things that were said about me in that clip, and that's why it was sent to me.
	But also in that clip was you discussing that thread and expressing regret over having started it.
	Yeah, because I'd spoken to Star Mountain, and she's friends with Gravity, and she told me he's a good man and stuff.
	And I realized that the whole thing with me and Gravity Sucks started was when I was on Elgab and I posted an American flag, a burning American flag to someone.
	And obviously, I was kind of asking for it by doing that because everybody on these boards is pretty much American.
	And he came back to me and he told me, I was actually, I posted that to Paladin at the time.
	But I was trying to go at the whole, I thought that that would piss Paladin off because of his, you know, his avatar and stuff, like a burning American flag.
	And Gravity came in, but I don't know why, but he felt he was some sort of fucking bouncer for Elgab.
	And he said to me, if you want to feud with Gunny, go ahead, but don't behave like a prick in front of all of us.
	And up until then, he and I have been very friendly privately.
	And I took such offense at that shit that I went over to Belgab and I wrote that open letter thing.
	And then I stop you there.
	It's that very mentality.
	Like, there are a lot of people who, when Belgab came back online, chose not to return to Belgab and instead stay over there on Elgab.
	And I know that a lot of those people feel like they're jabbing a thumb in my eye by doing so, but I can tell you that I enjoy the forum much more now than I did before.
	Now that not all of them, there are some people that I miss, but it's that very mentality.
	You can have a you can spar with this person, but don't do it in front of us.
	What are you, fucking seven?
	You're an adult.
	You can't handle reading text on a screen of two people bitching at one another.
	God damn, I am so glad that that mentality was excised from Belgab.
	And like the, to me, a lot of things were revealed about people, like what it is that they actually wanted Belgab to be, but it wasn't for them.
	That's it.
	But they didn't have it, but they didn't have anywhere else to go.
	And so now that they do have somewhere else to go, it revealed a lot about a lot of people to me.
	And it also explained a lot of things that they did, some of them that perplexed me at the time.
	But now I look back and I see it through the context of what you just described to me.
	Well, if you're going to have a fight with this person, do it privately.
	Don't do it in front of us.
	Why?
	For Christ's sake, what are you doing?
	Well, he called me a prick because I was responding to Paladin and I obviously got my backup and that fucking led to millions of pages of an open letter, which morphed into something that had an element of fantasy and anger and emotion and also my usual stuff.
	Things got out of perspective.
	And then rumors were floated and jokes were melded into everything and jokes became reality and reality became jokes.
	And then in the end, nobody knew what was going on and Zaza was there.
	And then I was having so much fun with Zaza at the time.
	It's only when he came to Asgab and then he turned on me.
	Man, I got so fucking pissed off because he started trying to dox me and shit.
	So like I was I was pretty pissed off at that.
	And then someone went and bought asgab.com and I don't know who it is.
	Is it UMV?
	You've asked me this before.
	And until recently, I thought that was the actual domain name of your forum.
	Yeah, I wanted it to be, but somebody to stick it in my eye went and bought the forum.
	Well, how did that happen?
	Well, because I didn't buy for a long time, I just had creatorforum.com at the end of Asgab because I'm using a slightly different type of SMF forum software.
	Kind of like it's a lot more user-friendly because you don't really have to build the site yourself, I guess.
	It's not as complicated.
	It's SMF-free forums, but it's like sort of a different division of them, I guess.
	And I mean, even if you go to asgab.world and you go to the bottom, it says there, create a forum.
	Make your own forum with creatiforum.com.
	So it's slightly different to what you use, I suspect.
	But yeah.
	So how it has come to be that you started this forum and you didn't manage to already own the domain name that you wanted to use?
	I mean, how did that come to be?
	I don't think I was broke at the time and I was waiting for a check or something.
	And then when I finally got the money, the fucking thing had been bought.
	And so I had to go with World.
	And I went with World because my podcast is called Azerais World.
	And I thought, oh, okay, well, that's not so bad.
	Let's take a look here on what, what is, so what is on, I'm going to look myself.
	What is on asgab.com then?
	I think it's that devil thing that was on last time.
	A devil image.
	Yeah, it's a picture of Satan or a demon pouring something down somebody's throat.
	Obviously, trying to make fun of me and my hallucinations where I've hallucinated the devil and stuff.
	You know, really funny stuff.
	I mean, really funny.
	Very clever.
	But it's not you, right?
	No, it is not.
	Okay.
	Well, you know what I said?
	I said on my podcast, if it's MV, I've got no issue with that because I've said a lot of shit about you, and I wouldn't, if you were trying to just troll me a bit like Night Walker in the chat says that Falke owns Asgab.
	Well, he says Falkey owns Asgab.
	I don't know if he means asgab.com, but I mean, have you had any sort of interactions with Falkey that would cause him to do that?
	No, he actually bores the fucking shit out of me.
	I don't know if he owns.
	I don't know why.
	No.
	No, I don't have any interaction with that man.
	I did at one point, but then I published his private emails to me on Asgab in a thread.
	But we don't talk about Falke on my site because we don't find him amusing or anything.
	Jedi Miller in the chat says, I hope this guy, I think meaning you, didn't bring me up.
	And I would just say.
	He did bring you up.
	I would just say we spent about 30 minutes talking about you tonight.
	You really should call in and defend yourself.
	573-837-4948.
	I really think you should defend your honor and represent yourself.
	He's so boring, MV.
	He's really a real bore.
	What does he do?
	I mean, like, I see his name bandied about from time to time.
	He's a white knight for Heather Wade, and he's an L Gabber, like a prominent L Gabber.
	He does try.
	He started a show called At the Edge of the Desert with Miller Zavs.
	His name's Miller, I think.
	I'm not doxing him.
	He calls himself by his real name, Miller Zavs.
	he's a podcaster is that uh he's this he tries to be this personality he He filmed himself in a bathtub drinking and singing along.
	And he says he's in love with Heather Wade.
	I think that might be shtick.
	I don't know.
	You think that this is really like this public presentation of his?
	You think it's legit?
	No, he's probably just making content for his own amusement, like me or any other person, Groip or whatever.
	But he's really not funny, and nobody really likes him, is the difference.
	At least Groip has got a few buddies and like I have as well, albeit a few only.
	But this guy's got like no friends.
	He lives with his parents and he's into Star Wars and shit.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Well, I will correct you there and say that I like him.
	I am a huge fan.
	I have a Jedi Miller poster in my children's room that I force my children to look at for five minutes before I allow them to sleep at night.
	And it's really been a big part of our dynamic here at Vandeven Enterprises, that poster.
	There's some candles under the poster, a little table.
	You might call it an altar.
	I call it a particle board table.
	It was purchased at Walmart.
	But, you know, I'm a fan.
	Let's see.
	I celebrate his entire catalog.
	And if you want to be on the show tonight, the number to call 573-837-4948.
	Did you actually make a list of anything that you wanted to discuss on the show tonight?
	Because as I told you, I didn't, and I usually don't.
	But did you?
	Well, I did jot a few things down.
	However, I have brought them up in conversation.
	So they've kind of been covered.
	No, not all of them.
	There's something I wanted to ask you that's related to Art Bell, but I don't know if you want to talk about it.
	That's fine.
	What is it?
	It's just Art Bell spoke about this Ouija board incident he had at some stage in his life, and he never talked about it on air.
	I just wonder if you remember him referring to that and maybe speculate.
	What do you think actually happened?
	I don't know.
	I'm kind of inclined to believe that that was sort of a radio theater of the mind thing, you know, just sort of pique everybody's interest.
	And, oh, wow, he doesn't even want to talk about it.
	It must have really been something.
	But I'm inclined to think that nothing actually happened.
	Okay.
	I mean, my sister, my older sister, the one that I told you, that I mentioned in passing, she, for a time, was heavily into those things.
	Some people pronounce them Ouija boards.
	Some people pronounce them Ouija boards.
	Ouija.
	I have no idea what the proper pronunciation is, but I'll say Ouija boards.
	How's that?
	I think the O is silent, maybe, and that's how Ouija boards, maybe that's it.
	I don't know.
	But anyway, my sister was heavily into these in her early teen years, early to mid-teen years, and she had a lot of experiences, at least according to her, that were inexplicable and in a couple of instances, actually frightening.
	And I can't imagine whatever it was that happened with Art having been any more frightening or unspeakable than the things that I heard my sister describe in her involvement with Ouija boards.
	So, I mean, I sat there listening to Art's show for all these years, hearing various guests come on to describe how the U.S. government wants to mind control us and maybe even kill us.
	So, I don't really know that a Ouija board story could surpass the awe and maybe shock of hearing all of that stuff that we heard on Art's show all those years.
	So, I don't know why he didn't want to say what happened.
	And the fact that he didn't want to leads me to think nothing actually did happen.
	What do you think?
	I actually, I just don't know.
	I don't know.
	I don't really, I just considering what you just said, remember when Art made that big thing about how the company he worked for wouldn't stand up for him when some shit happened and up like it was something big.
	It was probably something inconsequential.
	Yeah, that was his first broadcast on Sirius XM.
	He sort of sold and promoted this idea that he was going to spill the beans on that.
	And then, when he actually told the story, which was that he was miffed that premier radio networks didn't spend their own money to pay for his attorneys to sue David John Oates and who was the other guy, George.
	There was some shortwave.
	What?
	David John Oates.
	That's the reverse speech guy.
	And there was some terrestrial.
	Well, it was a shortwave station in Nashville.
	And apparently, I think the way it went down was this George.
	Ah, shit.
	It'll come to me.
	He's dead now, but this guy went on and effectively suggested that Art Bell had been arrested in the 70s for child molestation, which was entirely false.
	Is it Robert A.M. Stevens?
	No.
	Okay.
	No.
	This guy was supposedly a retired FBI agent, which maybe Robert A.M. Stevens.
	I mean, if you go around calling yourself Robert A.M. Stevens with a straight face, I think that calls you into question just straight away.
	But the guy is, I'm sure somebody is going to post his name in the chat here.
	But anyway, Art was miffed that the network didn't pay for him to sue this guy.
	And I don't really remember or understand what David John Oates' involvement in that was.
	Maybe he was on that station at the same time and he had some reverse speech clips, which he was saying suggested Art had done something in that regard.
	I don't know what it was.
	Yes, I think that's what it was.
	But Art made a big thing about fucking his company not representing him or paying his legal fees.
	And I thought it was so immature.
	So this whole Ouija board thing that he would never speak about was probably also like something so inconsequential but was big to him in some way.
	Yeah.
	I mean, if you've read...
	Someone says something nasty about you and you decide you want to sue them.
	I'm not sure I understand why it should be expected that your employer is just it's it's a given that they're gonna pay for your lawyers to sue somebody.
	What if you sue and you actually collect damages?
	Does your employer also get to share in a piece of that action, your damages that you collect?
	I mean, I don't know.
	I don't remember who it was, but somebody said that they met Art Bell.
	I really don't know who this was, but they said that he was like really tight with money.
	He was at a fun fair with like his wife and his child at the time or something.
	And he was like really tight with money and that's something they realized about him.
	So maybe that was why he expected other people to cover his fees.
	And he probably was so used to people kissing his ass and letting him do whatever he want that he turned into a bit of a spoiled brat.
	Wait, you're saying that Art was tight with money?
	Yes, apparently.
	I mean, he lived in a mobile home.
	MV?
	He had money and he lived in a mobile home, man.
	Do you mean like he was frugal or do you mean he didn't have a lot of money?
	No, no, he was frugal.
	He had money, but he left it all to Aaron and I think.
	But something else that I just was crossing my mind has has Dr. MDMD ever phoned in?
	No, never.
	And in fact, I've tried on a couple different occasions to get him to co-host, but he doesn't want to do it.
	And it might be that he is concerned with concealing his identity, which is, by the way, something that supposedly has been breached on your podcast.
	Well, I just repeated something someone else said.
	Well, yeah, but you repeated it.
	Yeah, well, you know what?
	I'm starting to wonder, like, you say nobody's going to go after me.
	From all the stuff I've said, I'm probably going to be in fucking.
	Well, no, you've already said the horrible things you're going to say on your own podcast.
	So, I mean, if anything, the things you've said here tonight, I think, cast you in a much more positive light.
	But I want people to understand for me, it's like a catharsis of getting my feelings and my anger out.
	Maybe it's a problem that I release those things out where people can listen to them.
	Maybe I shouldn't.
	I don't know.
	Because maybe it works against me when people start picking it apart.
	Jedi Miller.
	Oh my God, why am I here?
	I don't know, dude.
	Why?
	Bring something to the table.
	Call in and justify the fact that you're here.
	Go ahead, Asray.
	I'm sorry.
	You haven't had any calls from Deacon.
	No, not at all.
	I have had repeated calls from Star Mountain, but in fact, there were about four in a row just a few minutes ago.
	But I just feel like that ship sailed and that's all been taken care of.
	Good, right?
	You're fine.
	Like, there's nothing, no problem.
	Well, why does anyone?
	I mean, it's not on my mind.
	I'll put it that way.
	Yeah.
	Well, do you like Deacon's voice?
	Do you think he's got an I'm sure you've listened to him like once or twice, like just a few minutes?
	I do.
	You were interviewed by him.
	I do think he has a good voice, but one thing I would say, and any terrestrial radio station that he would work at would probably want to do some vocal coaching with him.
	And that's not a critique of him or, well, maybe it is a constructive critique, but it's not meant as some sort of an insult toward him.
	But any terrestrial radio station he would work at would probably want to do some vocal coaching with him and get him to just loosen up the way his delivery, to loosen it up and speak with a more natural cadence and not be so broadcasty.
	But I do think he has just in terms of his natural voice, I think he has a great voice.
	I think he has a better voice than I do.
	You like listening to it?
	Like, would you be able to listen to it if it was something that you were more interested in, not so paranormal and stuff?
	Would you tune in for someone like that if they were talking, say, politics or something that you were more interested in?
	I don't know.
	It depends on the show.
	I mean, I've listened to plenty of people who had quirks in their delivery, but the content was there.
	So you get past that pretty quickly.
	Well, he's not.
	He's not.
	I don't think that English is his first language or only language.
	I think he's also Spanish.
	So some of the words he uses sometimes sound a little bit unnatural or hold on just a second.
	Jedi Miller, could you please call in and apprise me of what it is I'm to apologize for?
	And we can start from there.
	Go ahead, Azra.
	That guy just likes people talking about him.
	He's got nothing to offer, dude.
	Michael Deacon, apparently, I think he's Spanish or something like that.
	And some of the words he uses, he might use like words that are not really, they don't really fit with one another, if you know what I'm getting at.
	And that sounds a little bit unnatural.
	And there was this rapper called Necro.
	I don't think you're into rap at all.
	Right?
	That's correct.
	A rapper called Necro, who I used to listen to, which probably wasn't very healthy because he rapped about death and rape and all sorts of other shit.
	And he kind of like fused the whole thing, like the metal sort of thing with rap, like battle rap.
	And he was on with Michael Deacon, and the first thing he asked Michael Deacon was, are you a robot?
	He's like this brash New Yorker guy.
	And Michael Deacon was like, no, no, I'm not a robot.
	I'm a real person.
	And Dr. M DMD often calls Deacon That he has a gay robot voice, and I find that pretty funny.
	Um, I think I think a lot of the time MD annoys me in certain ways, but fuck man, sometimes I've got to hand it to him.
	Um, often his political um opinions are you know, they're astute.
	I'm not gonna just because I tend to dislike him most of the time, sit here and pretend that I hate everything about him.
	I think that his whole faggot shtick can be very funny.
	Uh, it's and also like the way he goes after Deacon sometimes and the two of them, the way they insult one another is like comedy gold a lot of the time.
	But I do get upset sometimes when MD comes at me, but you know, we're just sparring it.
	He is Bell Gabber of the Year, so you're not allowed to critique him.
	Uh, you, you know, you cannot say anything negative about Dr. MDMD.
	That guy's been online like the most out of anyone if you check the stats.
	Belgab.
	I mean, well, I think he's contributed a lot of content to the forum.
	What do you say we take a call?
	How come?
	Okay, sure, sure.
	Okay, well, you don't have to drop your thought in mid-sentence because of it.
	I mean, if you want to okay, let's take the call.
	Hi, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello, hello.
	Okay, well, maybe that person's not on the air.
	I don't know.
	Very funny.
	Is that like a maybe that is the attempt is to do like a sort of thing?
	What I'm going to do is I'm going to call this radio show, and then I'm going to not say anything.
	And we'll just listen to what happens.
	It's going to be a hoot.
	If you want to call him.
	No, I don't think that is.
	I suspected it was Jedi Miller, but I don't know that to be the case.
	573-837-4948.
	573-837-4948, if you want to be on the show.
	Something I like to do is sometimes list the things that I like about the people that I don't like, just to be a little bit more open-minded about things.
	And one thing I will say about Deacon, aside from all the things I dislike about him, which are a couple, was the fact that he got rid of that Daniel guy that interviewed you once.
	I think he did a good thing.
	I think his show took off a lot more when he dropped Daniel.
	I don't know how you feel.
	Well, I personally liked Daniel, but, you know, maybe there are certain situations where it's better to just pursue something like that yourself.
	Because then if it succeeds, it's all on you.
	If it fails, it's all on you.
	If something needs to be tweaked, you have total control over that.
	And I don't know where things went south between the two of them.
	Boy, that was something.
	Deacon treated him pretty poorly, man.
	Like, he would have, and this is the passive aggression that, you know, it boggles the mind.
	He would have a guest on toward the end of when he broke up with Daniel.
	He'd have a guest on, and then, like, he would just dominate the conversation.
	Every time Daniel tried to say something, he would just like talk over him or like mute him or something.
	And I just find it a bit mean.
	Like, I mean, I spoke to Daniel about this.
	Why didn't he just say, look, man, I don't, I want to pursue this myself.
	Why do something like that?
	I did a thing where Daniel had me on his podcast that he was doing after he stopped doing the show with Michael Deacon.
	And I think it was on for about an hour and a half with him.
	And I thought it was a really fun time just to.
	No, it was.
	I listened to that, but you were interesting.
	But the guest is supposed to be.
	And when the host allows the guest to be, I think that speaks to the host as well and their qualifications, their qualifications as well.
	I think that he did a great job just stepping back and letting me just, you know, verbally let it flow.
	You know, he just got out of my way and let that happen.
	And I think that really is a credit to him.
	If you're going to do the type of show where you're bringing on guests, that's, I think, what you need to do.
	You know, MV, I really, really, really love doing my show completely alone and at my own pace and just talking by myself for long, long stretches.
	Do you not like doing the gabcast like that?
	Or have you ever?
	Do you like having someone like a co-host or somebody to talk to you?
	For this type of show, for this type of show, there has to be a co-host because the things that I would naturally want to talk about were I left to my own devices and just doing this solo entirely are not things that would fit into this show.
	I mean, this is supposed to be a show that's loosely based around Belgab.
	And if I were doing a show, 90% of what I would talk about would probably be current events, politics, history, some tech stuff.
	And none of that really fits into what we're doing here.
	And so for this sort of show, you have to have a co-host because if you don't, I can't imagine sitting here treading water for a couple of hours or even an hour.
	Maybe I'm wrong about that.
	Maybe I would be able to do it.
	But it just on its surface, as I consider the idea of sitting here doing this show by myself, I think it would be, it would be, it would be a little bit trying, I think.
	You don't think you'd enjoy it?
	You don't think that it would be good?
	I find that when I started doing my podcast, and really I'm not trying to look for any sort of audience, anything like I said, it's supposed to be some sort of therapy and stuff for my friends and myself.
	And I love talking about Belgab mainly and in my little forum, and some Elgab stuff maybe.
	But I just find it so enjoyable to just sit down and talk for like, you know, a couple hours or an hour or whatever.
	There's no feeling like it.
	I just thought that you would enjoy it so much.
	That works for your show because your show is mostly about you.
	It's mostly about your interaction with other people and your perceptions of people and the, I mean, I can't say this without it sounding like some sort of a pejorative way of describing what you do.
	But I mean, it's about your own personal axes that you want to grind.
	And it's a show about you.
	And I couldn't do this show and sit here and make it all about me and my thoughts and how my day-to-day life is going and how the events that have occurred have affected me.
	It just wouldn't, this wouldn't be the proper venue for that.
	But since that is your show and you started your show with that being the approach, with that being this is the show.
	Since you started the show that way, it works.
	But if I suddenly came here and did on this show what you do on yours, people would be like, what?
	What is he doing?
	I just think it's so freeing because I can do it whenever I like.
	I can do it.
	Okay, I don't stay up past midnight or anything, but I could do it at midnight if I wanted.
	I could do it at 10 in the morning if I wanted.
	I can do it at, I could do it at, you know, any time that fit me.
	And I just found it like so, it's like so relaxing and therapeutic and everything because it's almost like it is like therapy.
	It's like a release because I had for so many years, I had all these things trapped inside of me.
	And when I first met with my psychologist, which I only went to once and then she transferred me to a psychiatrist, which put me on medication, the psychologist, I let slip that I had stopped drawing the twisted, horrible things that were in my mind.
	And I'd only started drawing things that would be acceptable for, you know, all ages to read and stuff and look at.
	And I became incredibly depressed as time went on.
	But she just said to me, no, no, no, you've got to draw that stuff.
	You've got to, you've got to bring it out.
	And then when I started coupling my drawing, my artwork, my twisted, disgusting, sickening, gory, violent artwork with talking about the things that were on my mind, I started feeling so much better.
	I started feeling like my life that I was living outside of this little world was becoming more and more easy.
	And I was able to relate to people better.
	And I didn't have all these hang-ups and stuff.
	So I may be angry for an hour on my podcast and say things that are horrible, but afterwards I feel great.
	And some people are enjoying listening to it.
	So I think it's a great thing.
	Maybe there's a certain, there is a, I could see there being a certain self-therapy in what it is you're doing.
	And I don't think it's wrong for you to do so.
	But what you do have to understand is that some of the things you say about people as you're doing that show, therapeutic for you as it may be, some of those things are going to have consequences.
	And I don't mean necessarily real world consequences that affect you in real life as you go about your day, but I mean, they are going to be things that affect people's perceptions of you.
	People are listening and perhaps those guys would enjoy it.
	Like, I thought they enjoyed this kind of thing.
	Well, I think that there are people on Belgab who do.
	I mean, I don't know why you would perceive Bellgab to universally despise what it is you've done on your podcast.
	I'm sure there are plenty of people who've listened to every episode of it because of the links to it that were posted on Bellgab.
	But MV, getting back to, okay, I know you catched this with, okay, for this particular show in the format and whatever, it wouldn't be good in your mind to do something alone.
	You once did mention to me, and I hope this is public knowledge, you were going to be on a radio station doing your own thing or something.
	And I just wonder, like, if not with Belgab or the Gabcast, I mean, wasn't MV's Radio Trainwreck something that was a solo project of your own?
	At first, are you ever going to be just this guy that does a show?
	I mean, that's the thing I loved about Rush.
	I hate when he takes callers, but I love the fact that it was just him, him, him.
	And like, he never ran out of stuff to say.
	And like, you've got that about you, but I just sometimes feel like I didn't really understand why the gab cast was like a co-host thing.
	And lately, it's like two people.
	And you've been struggling to get like, you know, different people on because nobody seems to freaking want to host.
	They just post and post and post, but nobody wants to call in or anything.
	Well, it's not for everybody.
	It's not for everybody.
	And the user base of Bellgab has been significantly fragmented by all of these other gabs, this gab, that gab, that have sprung up.
	And so when things are fragmented to that degree, you don't have as large a pool to draw upon for people that are going to sit down and do this with you.
	I mean, it's just it's a matter of math, really.
	Yeah, totally.
	Well, yeah, I just.
	One day I am going to sit down and start doing a show where I was thinking the way I'd want to do this is like every day, a daily 30-minute or so little podcast.
	But once I do that, I'm not going to use the name that I use on Bellgab, and I'm not going to give any indication of the fact that I'm in any way connected to that.
	And the reason why is because I'm going to say things on that podcast that are going to offend people or upset their political sensibilities or upset their worldview.
	And that I don't think is, I don't think that's beneficial in terms of my relationship with the forum and how I interact with people.
	And that's another reason that I try not to get too deeply into politics on the forum, or at least, at least in the last couple of years, I've kind of tried not to, because it does not help me in any way in running that forum.
	It just, it gives people a it gives people, well, first of all, like if I express a political opinion on Bellgab, people take that and say, oh, this is the official, this is the official viewpoint of the forum.
	Oh, this is a right-winger forum.
	I can't tell you how many times I've seen that.
	And then after seeing that so many times, I got sick of it and started a thread where I put a poll at the top and asked people, how would you describe your political leanings?
	And by a significant majority, people describe themselves as liberals.
	And so, you know, I already knew that this notion that Belgab is a right-wing forum, well, that's just a load of horseshit.
	It's just that certain people have this expectation that they shouldn't see anything they disagree with.
	And if they do, then that colors everything for them about the platform that they saw that on.
	So there are certain people out there.
	That's their way of processing what it is they're exposed to.
	That's their way of processing their environment.
	If I go on a website and I see a political opinion that I do not agree with and that I could categorize and put in a box in a certain way, call it right-wing, call it whatever, then that means that is a right-wing site.
	Well, no, that's not what it means.
	It just means you saw some asshole's opinion and you didn't agree with it.
	That's all that means.
	It doesn't mean that the site proper is that.
	It's just an opinion that you saw.
	But I, as the administrator of the site, when I go on there and start expressing my political opinions, then people take that to mean, oh, well, this is the official political opinion or this is the political mood of this website.
	And I don't want that to be the case.
	And so that's why I've kind of tried to stay away from discussing politics too much on Bellgab.
	And when I start doing this thing, which I really, really want to do and which I think about more than you would know, I am going to do it in a way that firewalls me from being the guy from Bellgab.
	And I'm just going to be some asshole on the internet with an opinion and people can stumble upon it organically.
	I'm not going to use Bellgab as the mechanism to get people there to listen to it.
	I'm going to just build it entirely organically.
	What?
	It's kind of kind of a dilemma you got because you've got this captive audience on Belgab, but then you'll have to start from scratch.
	On the topic of politics and you mentioning politics, we were talking about the left-right dynamic and the nature of that.
	But when it comes to libertarianism, I've read this thing about libertarianism is the teenage boy of politics.
	What do you think is the inherent drawbacks to libertarianism as a political ideology?
	Well, I like my roads to be paved, and I like my nation to have a standing army.
	You're not going to have that unless people are compelled to pay taxes to fund it.
	But the real thing about when you think about libertarianism today, people who describe people who are actually members of the Libertarian Party as an organization, just as the Republican or Democrat Party, there is a Libertarian Party that exists in the same way.
	And that political party, in my way of seeing the world, is anything but libertarian because the official position of the Libertarian Party today is that we should have open borders in the United States and we should not in any way control the flow of human beings across that border.
	That is considered by these people who describe themselves as libertarians to be libertarianism.
	And I don't see that to be the case because what you're effectively saying is because I'm a libertarian, I'm going to totally forego policing the southern border and I am going to allow a sea of people to flood into the country who in no way hold libertarian views.
	You're talking about South American populations who come from despotic nations run by despotic regimes where socialism, and I don't view socialism as a bad word as some people do, by the way.
	I don't feel like you've won an argument because you call somebody a socialist.
	I'll just go ahead and make that clear right now.
	But I mean, we're talking about nations that truly are socialist in the worst sense of the word, like Venezuela.
	South America has had a socialist slash communistic tinge to it for decades, for generations now.
	And so you're talking about seas of people who've lived under these circumstances, under these regimes, under this political philosophy throughout South America for generations now, who don't have at all a libertarian philosophy about government and its role and the power that it should or shouldn't have over its people.
	And you want to bring those people into the country as a libertarian by the millions?
	They're just desperate to get food and water, man.
	They don't give a fuck about anything.
	And they've been brought up around that sort of ideology of if you're a libertarian and you want to bring in seas, vast,
	almost uncountable seas of people from South America who in no way hold libertarian views and then allow them eventually to vote and allow their worldview to infuse itself on the American body politic, then you are not a libertarian.
	Because if you're a libertarian, it seems like the first step to being one is to protect libertarian ideals.
	And if you're not going to do that, then I don't know what use you are, I don't know what use you are of as a libertarian.
	What is your view on what is your feeling on Rand Paul?
	Do you have any opinion on him?
	Wow.
	Do you think squishy-washy?
	What do you think of him?
	My opinions on him are not as strong as they were on his father.
	And I loved Ron Paul.
	And here's someone calling from my old zip code.
	I'm going to, or my old area code, I'm going to keep you on hold there for just a moment, and then we'll come to you.
	I had much stronger thoughts and opinions on Ron Paul than I do or have had on his son, Rand Paul.
	I was a huge Ron Paul supporter and fan in 2008.
	I think that this whole idea of, for instance, when this Tea Party thing came about and there was sort of this separatist movement within Republican politics of people calling themselves Tea Party members.
	Well, that whole thing got co-opted because it originally started out as a libertarian movement brought about by the ideas that Ron Paul was popularizing.
	And then somewhere along the way, it got co-opted by the Sean Hannity's of the world and the Rush Limbaughs of the world and various other Republican Party establishment figures, despite the effort on the part of these people to cast themselves as outsiders and non-establishment figures.
	They're every bit as establishment as Mitch McConnell and CBS News.
	They may like to cast themselves as outsiders, but no, that's not the case.
	So here comes this Ron Paul and up springs this Tea Party movement that was specifically and explicitly at its core a libertarian movement that wanted to rein in government control,
	government spending, government waste and taxation, government abridgment of civil liberties, particularly after 9-11 and the Patriot Act and the horror show that came about as a result of that attack.
	And then somewhere along the way, it got co-opted and you started watching Fox News and you'd see these people come on, these talking heads, and they would describe themselves and you'd even look at the Chiron at the bottom of the screen and they're getting described as Tea Party activists and they're sitting there yammering on and on about how much abortion pisses them off.
	It's like, for Christ's sake, this is not what this was about.
	This is not some sort of an evangelical 1990s impression of what it is to be a conservative Republican.
	The Tea Party thing was totally libertarian in nature and brought about by the advent of Ron Paul and his infusion of ideas into the 2008 campaign and beyond.
	And it's kind of funny when I listen to people like Sean Hannity going on and on about how much they love Trump.
	Sean Hannity is a phony because I started hating Sean Hannity in 2008 when I would watch him on Fox News going on and on about what an idiot Ron Paul is.
	Well, here's Ron Paul telling everybody that he'd like us to stop getting into these foreign military adventures that just bleed the nation of life and treasure.
	And that's, in my way of saying things, is not too terribly far removed from what Trump ran on in 2016.
	But these same people that shat on Ron Paul at every given opportunity in 2008, suddenly they're big Trump fans.
	And I would hesitate to necessarily include Rush Limbaugh in that category as much as I would people like Sean Hannity and Mark Levin and Glenn Beck.
	Because at least during the 2016 campaign, Rush Limbaugh was not one of these people shitting on Trump and then suddenly coming along a year and a half after he got into office like the rest of these people.
	But watching Sean Hannity and people like him, people of his ilk, in 2008, dumping on Ron Paul at every given opportunity they could find.
	And now fast forward eight years, Donald Trump runs for office in many ways running on the same platform that Ron Paul ran on.
	There are differences.
	There are certain, I guess you could say, maybe authoritarian tinges to some of the beliefs that Donald Trump has held.
	But by and large, the things that really matter the most, government waste, getting involved in foreign military activities and actions that we shouldn't be.
	That, to me, was the biggest part of Ron Paul's ideology that Trump carried on in 2016 and made a mainstream Republican idea, the idea that we need to get the hell out of all these countries, stop pretending we're going to go into the Middle East and make these people who've lived with thousand-year-old blood feuds their entire lives suddenly start singing, I'm a Yankee Doodle dandy,
	because we march in with our brand new military boots and polished metals on our uniforms, and suddenly these people are going to decide that they agree with and understand and support the concept of embracing North American democracy and representative republic ideologies and the idea of the government being subservient to the people.
	That is not a philosophy that certain areas of the world even understand.
	Like the entire premise of the U.S. government is that the government is, or the entire premise behind the founding of this country is supposed to be that the country, the government is subservient to the people, that the government serves the people.
	The government engages in various activities at the pleasure of the people.
	And the people ultimately have the power not only to dissolve that government as needed, but they also have the power to be a direct part of that government when they choose to.
	That is a concept that is not held, surprisingly enough.
	I mean, if you have a very narrow worldview, not you, but anyone, you'll find it surprising to learn that not everybody has a Western perception of the role of government relative to its people.
	So you go marching into some country where just, you know, 10 years ago, maybe let's say it was common for people to be stoned in a hole in the desert for various crimes against Islamic ideology.
	And, you know, you think you're going to go in that country and just overnight flip a switch, and these people are going to be eating hot dogs and ordering Domino's pizza?
	I don't think so.
	But we, for whatever reason, operated under the mistaken impression that that's how it was going to go down.
	And Ron Paul in 2008 was smart enough to see that that was an idiotic approach to foreign relations, foreign policy, and the use of military, American military might.
	And he got nowhere because people like Sean Hannity and Mark Levin and Glenn Beck and various other pillars in conservative ink.
	And by conservative ink, I mean like the so-called Republican thinkers who write for magazines and who host shows and believe themselves to be the arbiters of what it is to be conservative, which, by the way, is a word that means nothing now.
	These people in no way were interested in getting on board with that because they were still stuck in their 2004, God bless George Bush Murica mentality, which, you know, the electorate, people who would be willing to vote for someone with an R next to their name, their appreciation for that sort of Republicanism ended long before 2008.
	But people like Sean Hannity were so far behind the curve that they didn't see it.
	So Ron Paul comes along, someone who could easily, had he been given support by these talking heads and conservative ink type people like Sean Hannity, had he in any way been presented to audiences as a credible political figure, I believe that Ron Paul could have defeated Barack Obama in 2008.
	But what did we get instead?
	We got John McCain, a guy who just can't bomb people quickly enough, a guy that you're not allowed to criticize because POW, well, guess what, motherfucker?
	Lee Harvey Oswald was also a Marine.
	And I can give you a long list of other people who served in the military.
	Do you think that that somehow insulates people from criticism?
	Richard Greyper.
	Richard Greuiper.
	Yeah, see, Richard Greyper was in the military.
	So if that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about the idea of not criticizing people who are in the military, I don't know what's going to tell you everything you need to know.
	But we got John McCain, and it was all over with then.
	I didn't even vote in 2008.
	I was so put out and disgusted.
	Somebody as politically motivated as yourself, how did you not vote?
	Politics seemed to be on your mind all the time.
	Is it something that's always interested you?
	Yeah, since I was about 12, I mean, I was like a really weird kid.
	I can name for you various Clinton administration cabinet members that I should not be able to name for you.
	You know, I can I was paying attention to things that kids my age had no concept of.
	And in a lot of ways, I didn't have a lot of areas in which I could relate.
	I mean, I could relate to other people my age, but there was this whole other world that I was plugged into that none of these other people that were my age had any concept of whatsoever.
	They were totally oblivious to it.
	I mean, here I am 13 years old and the Republicans take over the house in 1994 for the first time in 40 years.
	And like the next day I go to school and I have this huge spring in my step and everyone else just looks normal and has no idea.
	That's how I felt the day after Trump got elected, actually.
	That was the best night of my life.
	Maybe not literally, but yeah, I mean, maybe not literally the best night of my life.
	But I sat up until 9 a.m. that night.
	I just could not take my eyes off the TV.
	And then I had to sit up until Hillary came, until Hillary had time for the alcoholic toxicity to subside and make her way to a podium, waddle up to a podium and give her concession speech.
	I had to wait and see that.
	I couldn't.
	Why does that chick fall all over the place and shit, man?
	Like, what the fuck is that?
	I think she's sick.
	I think she's physically ill.
	I don't know what she fell in, like, I think it was in 2011 or so.
	She was in a bathroom and she fell and hit her head on a toilet.
	And so there was a period of time where she was not seen in public by anybody.
	And then when she was seen in public, she was wearing these really weird Coke bottle-looking glasses where the lenses looked like they were about 12 inches thick.
	I mean, it was like she had bulletproof protection in front of each of her eyeballs.
	It was like, wow, that thing looks heavy that you're wearing there.
	You call those glasses, do you?
	Something has to be said for her that woman's arrogance and the air she gives off that she's just better and other people are beneath her and she doesn't have to do the certain things that normal people have to do, kind of like pretend she's some sort of royalty.
	It's just like, it's disgusting.
	Well, for a long time, she was for a long time.
	Royalty would have been the appropriate word to describe certain political elements in this country and their perception of the Clintons.
	They were viewed as political royalty.
	And then someone pulled the rug out from under them.
	I mean, there were a number of factors, but a big one was this Me Too thing.
	I mean, here Hillary Clinton is.
	She's going to.
	It was Access Hollywood.
	That was the show that that Trump audio was pulled from, where he was talking about, you know, grabbing women by the pussy and stuff.
	Mind you, these are women who were willingly being grabbed by the pussy.
	He was describing women and how they will pursue you if you're rich and famous and what he likes to do with them.
	I didn't find anything shocking about that.
	But when that audio came out, Hillary Clinton made as much hay over that as she could in the subsequent debate.
	I think the debate that followed the release of that tape, it was like a week or two.
	Maybe it was like a couple of days.
	I can't really remember.
	But she made as much out of that as she possibly could.
	And I'm sorry to the caller.
	You've been there for 13 minutes and 30 seconds now, and I just realized I forgot about you.
	But it's like, here's this woman who did everything she could to destroy anyone who accused her husband all those years ago of inappropriate sexual activity with them, having the nerve to get in front of a camera in front of a national audience and pretend to be outraged over words someone said into a recorder.
	I mean, the absurdity of that, I think, was palpable and not lost on a whole lot of people.
	And I think that just like this whole Me Too thing that started, I think that Hillary Clinton, had she run in any earlier era before she got all sloppy and started falling down on shit, and before everyone decided that anyone who had ever expressed any pleasure in having sex with women is now a criminal.
	And, you know, all of that came about.
	I mean, she ran in the wrong era.
	And this notion of the first woman president and what a glorious moment that's going to be.
	Okay, that's that.
	Yeah, that's fine and great, but I don't understand why it is that Hillary has to be that first woman.
	She's hardly the women I've known in my life.
	When we're talking about my mom or my grandma or any other, my aunts, teachers I've had, girls I've gone out with, I don't see Hillary Clinton as in any way being representative of them at all.
	When I see Hillary Clinton, I see the mayor of South Park.
	If you ever watch South Park and just the way that woman talks behind the scenes when nobody's that's what I see when I see Hillary Clinton, just like in no way representative of real average normal women, but for whatever reason being held up as some sort of a standard bearer.
	I'm sorry to this caller.
	Go ahead.
	I'm really apologetic.
	Oh.
	Hello.
	Yeah, Euron.
	I'm sorry you had to wait so long.
	I kind of forgot you were there, if I'm being perfectly honest.
	No problem, Rants are good.
	So what's up?
	What brings you to the show there?
	No, not much.
	Thought I'd call in while I still have some battery.
	W-O-T-R.
	Oh, hey, how's it going?
	See, it's you've called in before, haven't you?
	Yeah, a few weeks back.
	Okay, I'm going to have to go ahead and end this.
	It's been real, but thank you.
	Only one call per calendar year.
	No, I'm kidding.
	It's a pleasure to have you on the air tonight.
	And what's on your mind?
	Oh, not much.
	Actually, I'm late to the show, so it may have already been discussed.
	I'm actually wondering, as your thoughts on Heather.
	I remember when you were back when she was on the show, you were sort of a bit of a defender of her.
	What's your thoughts on her now?
	I think she's a damaged person.
	I think it's really that simple.
	Well, my thoughts on Heather are I do see where MV is coming from when he said that she sounded a bit like she was forcing the art bell impression.
	But I really don't have any animus towards her.
	I actually wish that she wasn't going through the hard times she went through.
	I think that she fucked up a lot, but I think that people did bully her a little bit.
	I wouldn't call myself a defender of her.
	It's just that I just thought people maybe went a bit hard on her.
	I think she deserves it.
	I think she's pretty good, actually, at what she does when she's not getting in her own way.
	But I don't really have, I don't actively listen to her show.
	I'll tell you this.
	When I had never been anything but friendly toward Heather and supportive of her, supportive as best I could be.
	And then one day she calls me up and she tells me that two people told her.
	Well, first of all, she calls me up on Skype.
	I'm driving around in my car with my two little girls in the back seat.
	And we had just been involved in an automobile accident.
	Somebody crashed into the back of our car and then ran off.
	So it was a hit and run.
	And it was a pretty heavy impact as well.
	And both of my kids are in the back seat crying.
	I had to pull off the road into a bank parking lot.
	And it's just like the most inopportune moment.
	Heather calls me crying and telling me that she heard that I'm sorry, this crown and coke.
	You know, it's the carbonation of the Coke.
	It's getting to me.
	But anyway, she tells me that it might also be the alcohol.
	I don't know.
	But she tells me that she's heard from two separate people, one of whom she said was Gravity Sucks, that I am working behind the scenes to sabotage her show somehow in some way, maybe playing soundboard clips, calling in and playing soundboard clips or something.
	I don't know what it was.
	But then I stopped her and I said, Heather, I got a, I'm sorry, I've or no, we started the call before she even got to that.
	We started the call, and before she even said anything to me, I told her that I've just been in a car accident.
	My kids are in the back crying.
	We're waiting for the cops to show up.
	And she totally ignored what I had just said to her and plowed into her reason for calling, which was to confront me about what she had heard from these two people, one of whom was Gravity Sucks, that I was working to sabotage her bullshit and consequential show that really doesn't fucking matter in the grand scheme of the universe to anybody whatsoever.
	And that told me everything I needed to know about her, that she could call someone and they could tell her that they were just in an automobile accident with their kids in the back seat.
	And she totally blows that off and ignores it and goes into some bullshit rumor that she heard, weeping into the phone as she's doing so, which, by the way, I'd say easily 50% of the phone calls I ever had with this woman included her weeping on the other end of the phone for some goddamn reason or another.
	So now, is that before or after?
	Was she like that before?
	That was after.
	That was after.
	But why?
	Okay.
	It was shortly after.
	MV, why did you answer her call?
	If you were in an automobile accident, why didn't you just not answer?
	Because I know I totally understand that she was being unreasonable, but why would you be so available to these people when you were going through something like that?
	Well, it's not like I was picking up pieces of my car off the ground.
	We were sitting in a parking lot in a bank waiting for the cops to show up.
	She called.
	I answered the phone.
	I said, hey, how's it going?
	Yeah, she's like, what are you up to?
	And I said, well, we were just in a car accident and we're sitting here waiting for the cops to show up.
	It wasn't like I was really in a position where I couldn't have a brief interaction with somebody.
	I mean, my girls had stopped crying and we were just sitting there waiting for the cops to come.
	She started the phone call saying, hey, what's up?
	What are you doing?
	And that's when I said to her, well, actually, I was just in a car accident.
	And she totally blew that off and immediately then, so she didn't even really want to know how I was doing or what I was doing.
	It's just sort of a reflexive thing people do when they start a phone call, I guess.
	How you doing or what's going on?
	What are you up to?
	But they don't really want to know.
	So you'd think when you tell someone that and they're calling up to get your take on some bullshit gossip they heard about your perceptions of or interactions with their irrelevant, inconsequential internet podcast, you'd think that they'd put that off for a while and just, you know what, just deal with that another time.
	Maybe that's not the most appropriate moment to start weeping into the phone.
	And I guess the weeping was supposed to shield her from the inappropriateness, if you will, of her transition into that subject.
	You know, it's just like, you know, don't talk to me about what a strong woman you are when you use crying as some sort of a firewall at every given opportunity you possibly can.
	I find that insufferable, and I can't process that or deal with it.
	The woman clearly has deep-seated issues, and I'm not defending her.
	No one says you are.
	No, but I'm saying I'm not.
	And so what if you are?
	There's nothing.
	So what if you are defending her even?
	No one cares.
	It's okay.
	Just calm down.
	Calm down.
	Have another sip of your drink there.
	W-O-O-T-R just phoned in and said that I'm a defender of Heather.
	So that's why I'm saying I'm not defending her.
	Did you say that, W-O-T-R?
	I don't remember you saying that Azure is a defender of Heather.
	I think I probably did.
	I might have been overstating it, but I do remember.
	And I mean, to be honest, back then, there were people who were accusing me of being a white knight, too.
	So, I mean, I don't know if I'm a defender.
	I also was accused of that.
	But the thing is, I don't care whether I sound like I'm being.
	I'm just trying to express the fact that I think that she has very deep-seated issues.
	And if there is any truth in the things we heard from producer Tony, who I think Dana Mohammed interviewed, that she's obviously got substance abuse issues along with psychological problems.
	She maybe had an abusive, maybe grew up in an abusive home of some kind.
	I'm not a doctor.
	I don't know.
	Maybe she had a rough life.
	Like, all that aside, you can still choose to be a decent person and human being, but there is a lot to be said for how a person is raised or the lack thereof of the parents in their lives.
	So I think it's a number of things, but I personally think that she is pretty good sometimes, is listenable.
	And I think that if she got out of her own way, like a lot of us, she would be doing a lot better.
	But this ghosting thing that she does, where she disappears for months, I do that too sometimes.
	I've gone through that before.
	I've ghosted people.
	It's an indication that there's something off there.
	She goes from completely withdrawing from everybody to then coming back and saying, like, acting like nothing happened.
	I've done that before.
	So I think that she's got problems, but I'm not a doctor.
	That's my assessment of everything.
	I think I find her unlistenable.
	I understand what you're saying, that she's pretty good in your opinion at what she's doing when she gets out of her own way.
	But I find her voice to be so affected.
	I find it to be so unnatural.
	And I find her to I find her to be someone who is consumed with trying to sound like some sort of an approximation of something.
	And it's pretty clear to me.
	I'm hating you with so much.
	Why do you keep accusing me of being angry?
	I'm simply...
	Do you want love and light?
	I'm just giving a...
	I'm just giving you my opinion.
	I can't listen to her.
	Why does that have to be interpreted as angry?
	Stop telling me how I sound.
	What is that?
	How am I going to measure how I sound?
	Was that measured in pounds?
	I'm just telling you that I find her.
	Oh, I was going to say I actually agree with you.
	So as much as I wish her the best, she's done nothing to me.
	I have no problem with her.
	I hope she finds listeners.
	I hope she does what she does.
	You know, she's really never done anything to me.
	Wish her the best, but I'm with you, MD.
	Her voice, I can't.
	I subscribed when she first and went art.
	I subscribed through all of that.
	When Art was off, I continued to subscribe for, I think, a month maybe.
	Nope.
	No, I was done before that.
	I was done before that.
	Anyhow, but I said, you know, I keep subscribing.
	I'd stay with her.
	And I never listened to a show.
	I listened to maybe one show that she did.
	That was all that I could listen to.
	And I get my voice is probably equally as bad, but I'm not charging to have anyone listen to it.
	Jedi Miller says, this is the problem with the all-man's club.
	They think women are like men.
	Actually, you've got that entirely inverted.
	We regret the fact that they aren't like men.
	We keenly understand that they aren't like men.
	And when you find a woman who really truly knows how to be one of the boys, that's a rare gem and a treasure.
	And when you see a woman who, in my opinion, likes to masquerade as if she can roll with the boys and can be one of the boys, that's what I felt like Heather did for a long time is masquerade as someone who can be one of the boys and all of that.
	And I find that even more nauseating, really, than a woman who just knows what she is and is okay with it.
	But I never, I only ever heard Heather's show that she did when someone would post clips of it on Belgab and I would listen to them.
	And because of that being the only way I would hear her show, there would be periods of months where I wouldn't hear her voice at all.
	And so it's like when you have little kids growing up and you don't see them for a week or two or whatever, and then you see them and it's like, wow, my kids were that someone else's kids, whatever.
	They're growing up and you don't see them for a lengthy period of time and then you do and you're kind of taken aback by how much bigger they are and how much smarter they are and just how they've developed in that period of time.
	Whereas if you see the same kid day after day after day, it's so incremental that you don't quite notice it as much.
	And so me hearing clips of her show that would be spaced months apart in many cases, watching or rather listening to how affected her vocal delivery was as it would progress or maybe devolve might be a more appropriate word.
	That really was striking to me.
	So do you think Art actually coached her?
	Do you believe that he actually had much to do with her after he went off the air?
	Did he actually go over, coach her, tell her she was doing a good job, tell her, give her tips?
	Or do you think he sort of separated himself and she had almost a delusion that that was the case?
	He must be good with what she's doing.
	I don't know.
	I really don't.
	I mean, there have been you could go in both directions with that.
	I mean, if you like, you listen to that producer, Tony guy, that was on Dynamo Hum's show.
	He said that Art probably spent a grand total of two or three hours with Heather, actually working with her on anything of any consequence.
	But then you can listen to Heather and she makes it sound like Art Bell was standing behind her chair every time she did a show holding dousing rods to determine whether or not she was going down the correct road.
	Is that what they're called?
	Dowsing rods?
	I think I got that.
	You listened to Art's comments, too, or his typed comments when he would say she's getting better all the time.
	So, I mean, there's something to be said there, too.
	He must have been paying some attention to her.
	Maybe so.
	Or it could have just been sort of saving face because he was the one who made the decision to put her there.
	So if she just collapsed and caved in on herself, that would sort of reflect on him in some way as well.
	Beating a dead horse with the whole Heather thing at this point.
	I know that Belgab is, you know, she's a direct link, I guess, to what happened to Art.
	But it's kind of like a dead horse that we're beating when we talk about Heather.
	Not that I'm suggesting people shouldn't.
	It's just my opinion.
	Hogg says when Lee says the word woman, especially with a tinge of ethanol, radio gold is created.
	Is there that much of an undertone in my voice when I say the word woman?
	You know, I will confess I am the Green River killer.
	Go ahead, gentlemen.
	W-O-T-T-R, listen here, man.
	You were asking me about my antidepressant.
	What led you to ask me about that again?
	Well, hold on now.
	I mean, talk about beating dead horses.
	I mean, come on.
	If talking about Heather is beating a dead horse, what in the fuck is this?
	Let's talk about Azure's antidepressants for the next whatever, however long this show goes.
	You know, you're getting ready snarky with me, MV.
	Are you upset or something?
	Well, no, I'm just speaking for the listening audience.
	Go ahead, W-O-T-R.
	Did you have a question?
	I told me that I spoke to him, and that's what I wanted to ask him about.
	Did you have a question about Azure's medical regimen?
	I did ask him on the forum, and it really was just because I'd been talking with a friend who's off for disability right now, and that's some of what they're doing.
	They're playing with his meds to get him back to normal.
	So that was the main reason was just that we'd been discussing his antidepressants earlier.
	Maybe Heather needs some antidepressants with all that crying that she puts on when she phones MV.
	Do you think, though, I mean, it's been alleged by people that she may at times use substances that a doctor would not necessarily prescribe.
	So if she were to do so while on antidepressants, I would think that could be problematic.
	Yes, you got to be very careful with what you eat, drink, do, everything when you're on any type of psychotropic medication of any kind.
	You have to be very careful with your lifestyle, in my view.
	You've got to listen to your doctors.
	You've got to have a lot of appointments with them because that stuff, it's near fatal if you take it the wrong way.
	So she does, I do think she abused substances with some of the behavior.
	And I think that she obviously has deep-seated problems she's never dealt with.
	She's in denial.
	It all gets in the way of what she could have been, which was a good host, one that's honest, one that talks about things, one that doesn't try and hide everything and then talk about the paranormal instead.
	I always found that annoying when that would happen on, I mean, there's so many paranormal shows right now.
	And when people try and sidestep any of the quote-unquote dramas or whatever that are going on in their lives, sometimes that stuff's even more interesting for the listener.
	But I don't know.
	That's just my take on it.
	What do you guys think?
	Well, I hope I don't trigger you by reading this comment as a raid, but Greg says in the chat room that Heather said on her show that she is self-diagnosed and self-medicated.
	And do you remember that Twitter post of Heather's shortly after Art died where someone recommended that she get professional help and she replied by saying that she's not going to go talk with anybody who isn't able to speak radio?
	That is just like, oh my God, like, what?
	You know, they talk about IQ and then they talk about EQ, your emotional intelligence.
	And like, what sort of a dearth of emotional intelligence must somebody have to say something like that publicly and not know what kind of gut laughing people are going to do when they're going when they read that?
	I mean, just like, I'm not going to go see any psychiatric professional unless they know how to speak radio.
	So maybe she would be willing to talk to Dr. Laura.
	But beyond that, I mean, that's a pretty limiting, that's a pretty limiting point of view on the subject of getting professional help.
	It's either Dr. Laura who's going to tell me to shut up and stop being such a girl, or I'm not going to go see anybody.
	I think she had all of these underlying issues for a long, long, long while.
	And once she was forced into this radio thing by art, all the stress around it probably brought everything to a head, and she probably had some sort of psychotic break of some kind.
	I think that's probably actually unhealthy for her to reach her dream.
	To be a broadcaster.
	She says that was her dream.
	It's actually probably unhealthy for her overall to have done that.
	But I don't know if that really was her dream, though.
	I mean, like, when she had visions of her dream, I don't know if her dream was really comprised of being handed a second-hand radio show from someone that left under less than auspicious circumstances and that she would be measured against.
	I mean, anyone who wants to go into radio broadcasting doesn't envision that as being their entry into the field.
	That's like so hobbling right out of the gate.
	I remember telling her, publicly posting at one point when word got out that she was taking over Art show, that I thought it was a mistake and that she should just do her own thing, start her own show that has its own origins with a clean slate, and that if she doesn't do it that way, she's going to be forever compared to Art Bell and she will entirely fail to measure up and eventually she's going to be chased out of town with pitchforks.
	And that is almost verbatim.
	In fact, I think if you go on Dullgab and you do a search for pitchforks, that's going to be one of the posts you find is me predicting that.
	And I can't tell you, like, when you look at the qualms that people like Karen Jackson and apparently various other people in Perrott, Nevada had with Heather, it's like, man, I just really am a seer.
	I really know what's going to happen.
	My finger is so on the pulse.
	I think if you want a clear, unabridged, accurate, sober, and I know it's ironic that I would describe it as such in these circumstances, but if you want a sober prediction of the future in numerous regards, come to me.
	I can render it for you, and I won't charge you anything as well.
	And I won't ask to read your poems.
	There will be no tarot cards.
	I won't.
	We'll flip out and rage on every single podcast that you go on that she never credited you or Belgab.
	That did piss me off.
	Not because I feel like, oh, Belgab needs the credit, because it was just so dishonest.
	It's like you're going to go on this show and you're going to pretend that you're a strong woman and you're going to pretend that you're brave and you're soldiering on, but you can't even mention this two-bit forum that's the entire reason you're doing what you're doing right now.
	I mean, just like the utter and complete dishonesty.
	And in any radio show I've ever listened to with any regularity, one of the things that always drew me to whatever show it was I was listening to was at least the perceived honesty of the hosts, whether they're the host, whether they're talking about their own personal lives or they're talking about their professional life, whatever.
	There's just a certain perceived honesty in people that you can detect.
	You can't quite put your finger on why it is you detect it or you can't write it down on paper what it is, but you just sense it and you detect it.
	And when it's not there, that to me was really the reason her show failed is because of the lack of honesty, the lack of willingness to be totally open about what it is she came from and how that all came about.
	And by the time she finally did dedicate about 15 minutes of her radio show pissing and moaning about Belgab and how it's not what it used to be, it was so, I mean, it was too little too late.
	Had she done that right out of the gate and just gotten it over with, she could have embraced Belgab and the people there.
	I guarantee you that the mental afflictions that Heather currently feels that she's experiencing, I can guarantee you 90% of that is because of what she perceives to be Belgab's impression of her.
	Belgab occupies...
	I think it's safe to say.
	Hold on.
	Belgab occupies more space rent-free in that woman's mind than anyone would ever believe.
	And now, granted, I'm mind-reading here, but I think I'm correct about that.
	And if she had just come out from the beginning, right out of the gate and just acknowledged what she came from, instead, like when she described the Gabcast, which was the show that Art heard her on for the first time, she described it as a little podcast.
	Meanwhile, on her most recent return, I think the most listeners she ever peeked out at concurrently was something like 300, 400, 500, something like that.
	We're talking about a radio show she's hosting that was given to her by the king of late night talk radio, Art Bell.
	And she's maxing out at like 300 to 500 concurrent listeners at any point during a given broadcast.
	And she has the balls to describe this as a little podcast.
	I mean, come on, you're not too far removed with that kind of listenership.
	So let's rein it in just a bit.
	But it's just the lack of honesty.
	It's not that I sat there thinking to myself, oh, Belgab deserved the accolades.
	Belgab needs this.
	It wasn't anything like that at all.
	It's just don't present yourself as being some.
	That was like the undertone of her persona when she was hosting that show was that she's a strong woman.
	There was an undertone of that.
	And I feel like that is so fucking phony to present yourself with that undertone if you're not even willing to say the word Belgab or Gabcast.
	And by the time she was willing to do so, it was too late.
	I mean, she'd already destroyed any hope of really carrying on with what it is Art handed her.
	I'm sorry.
	Go ahead, guys.
	I think it's safe to say that you are not a radar of Na MV.
	Is that what they're called?
	Yes.
	What sort of a drug binge produced that?
	Christ Almighty, Writer of Nye.
	Explain that one to your family when they ask you, what's this fucking bill on the credit card for writer of Nye subscription?
	What is this?
	Oh, well, have you ever heard of Nye County, Nevada?
	No, I haven't.
	Well, it's a county in Nevada.
	It's this guy.
	You ever heard of Art?
	It's just like, fuck Almighty.
	Like, explaining that credit card bill to a spouse would probably be more difficult than explaining Belgab or Falke 2013 to that spouse.
	It's like I've been married now since June of 2007, and my wife has no clue what goes on at Bellgab, what it's all about, the behind just like the subtexts of the various stories.
	It's like totally oblivious.
	Like, I'm plugged into this entire universe that she has no concept even exists.
	And I can't, and I've said it before that if she knew like this whole thing and what it is and what it's really all about and all the subtexts and the backstories to things like Azure, you and I sitting here talking tonight.
	Like, she has no clue whatsoever.
	Like, if I explained all that to her and like really truly made her understand, I'm sure that she would never have sex with me again.
	I'm positive of it.
	I have no doubt whatsoever.
	Who would have sex with you?
	She knows that you like Art Bell, though.
	She knows your, I mean, I don't know your obsession.
	That's maybe not the right word, but she knows you were a pretty big fan.
	She knows that the forum's about.
	She knows the forum exists, right?
	Well, she knows the name Art Bell, but that's it.
	I mean, she knows the name Art Bell, and she knows that he was this guy on the radio.
	That is it.
	That's all she knows.
	Like, if I asked her right now to tell you what it is that Art Bell discussed on his show, she would have no clue.
	She would have no idea that it was only heard on the radio for a time, for most of its life, as opposed to something that's listened to on the internet.
	I mean, just like what I'm describing right now is an experience that I think everyone listening to might like, imagine trying to explain to a family member this broadcast you're listening to right now, if you want to call it that, podcast, broadcast, internet radio show, whatever you want to call this.
	Imagine trying to explain to somebody how you came to be aware of this and what it is and why anyone would care to hear what I have to say into a who am I?
	I mean, just like, imagine trying to explain that.
	Where would you start?
	So you got a credit card bill.
	Oh, here's $6.99 a month, writer of Nye.
	What the fuck is this?
	Is this midget porn?
	Oh, no, no.
	It's not midget porn.
	No, is it interracial?
	I think it's like a play on like Not Rider mixed with like the Kingdom of Nye and like trying to come up with something cool like the looking glass.
	She tells when people send messages, a fast blast.
	She calls it looking into the looking glass and shit like that.
	Yeah, but your summarization of that just now is dependent on all of the knowledge that all of us listening right now have already of all of this Art Bell Belgab universe.
	But if you weren't plugged into any of this at all and you got a credit card bill with writers of Nye or Rider of Nye $6.99 a month, you're thinking Bukaki site.
	You're thinking something terrible and you want to know why you're being turned.
	Kath Smile says Lee wanted to mow Art's rocks.
	Try explaining that to your wife.
	Yeah.
	We wanted to mow Art's rocks.
	Yep.
	Oh boy.
	Yeah, I actually wanted to fly to Nye County, Nevada and mow Art Bell's grass.
	It's non-existent grass.
	Could you imagine me out there with a Murray mower just blasting dust out the exhaust on a stuff?
	When you were flying over to the Kingdom of Nye, you would be a Nye flyer, maybe.
	Like something like that, right?
	I think I would be, having done that, more appropriately called a writer of Nye than anyone who paid their $6.99 a month and then had to explain that credit card bill to their wife.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	She loved Black Rada, dude.
	If you go back to the old Gab cost, she used to.
	She expressed a lot of she just loved Nakarana.
	She loved him.
	She said it was awesome.
	Hoggs says Belgab is just part of the true story of Art Bell coming back for Midnight in the Desert to never mention it is truly disingenuous.
	No Belgab, no Art Bell Midnight in the Desert.
	And I also think no Art Bell, SiriusXM, Dart Matter.
	No ASGA.
	That's true.
	Let's go ahead and really get into the meta nuance of all of this.
	If it weren't for Belgab, there would be no ASGA.
	And I think that's where this all concludes and is the most fundamental point that could be made tonight about Belgab's place in the universe and its overall importance.
	No ASGAB.
	It's a lot of disappointed people right there, baby.
	No Elgab.
	No, I'm putting ASGAB first.
	Yeah.
	Well, I only made it because I was banned from Belgab.
	Now I'm watching shit.
	And I saw you post on Belgab that you expect to be unceremoniously banned again within the next couple of days.
	Well, I was kind of being sarcastic, but I think it's a possibility.
	It is.
	I mean, you're going to ban me again.
	It could happen.
	I don't know.
	Just watch and see.
	Wait.
	I mean, the committee is making decisions, and those decisions will be rendered at the appropriate time.
	What?
	Why do you want to ban me again?
	It's not up to me entirely.
	There's a committee.
	There's a decision-making process.
	There's a flowchart.
	And there's also a man who lives in Shinzin, China that we confer with named would you prefer that I just eased up on posting on the market.
	I'm not going to tell you to do anything.
	I will tell you that I think if you go to the Info Center and you see that would be the sort of layout on the main page of Belgab that tells you what's been posted over a period of time.
	I mean, if you go there and you see every post as Azeray, Azeray, Azeray, Ezra.
	Well, then maybe you might want to dial it back, but I'm not explicitly handing that down as an edict to you.
	I mean, it's a matter of personal regulation, and you might also want to consider whether it's even necessarily healthy for you to have that level of interaction with people on the internet that consistently, whether it's on Belgab or your own forum as Gab.
	I mean, these are all questions you would maybe want to ask yourself, but as to whether I felt at any point over the last week that you posted too much on Belgab, no.
	Okay, well, do you.
	I don't know what I was going to say.
	But you might be banned over the next couple of days.
	Yes, that is.
	I mean, the committee is in discussions.
	What?
	I just think that, I don't know, you seem to have gotten more and more annoyed with me as the show went on.
	I don't know.
	Annoyed only at moments because you have this thing where you interpret passion or acute interest in something as anger.
	And even if it were anger, I don't know who gave you this idea that anger is always something that should be shunned or run away from.
	I mean, why is anger inherently something that should have the brakes?
	You know, close the spigot, ladies and gentlemen.
	I mean, let's say my expressions of, let's say the moments tonight where I got a little more passionate about something maybe that you interpreted as anger.
	Let's say they were moments of anger.
	Why is that inherently bad?
	Why is that something that inherently needs to have the brakes?
	I'm not saying that.
	I think that's good.
	I'm an angry person a lot of the time.
	I just, you know, I was just curious.
	VC says, I think I'm fine.
	I mean, I don't, I mean, I'm sure there is an element of me being a little tired.
	Is W-O-T-R still there?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, he is.
	VC in the chat room says, using Belgab to fuck with Belgab members and dox at your forum, human shit scum.
	That's what he directed at you.
	I would like VC to call in because I think he has a wonderful broadcast voice.
	He posted a clip where he laid out and really broke down how he believed Heather Wade was lying about various things.
	And I was struck by his voice.
	I mean, he had, I thought, a wonderful broadcasting voice.
	He didn't in any way sound his speech patterns sounded the way I thought they would based on the way he writes.
	But his actual just his voice, he didn't sound at all.
	I expected him to kind of sound a little nasly and kind of nerdy, you know, and just sort of, but displeasing to listen to him, you know, just something like that.
	But no, he didn't sound like.
	Well, I think Groiper purchased a bag of clothes hanger pens tonight before he placed those phone calls.
	I think that there's a clothespin hanger company out there somewhere that's really looking at the books and feeling pleased because of Richard Groiper's phone call tonight.
	But I would like VC to call in.
	I mean, I think it's only appropriate that VC call in because on the forum, he has been one of your primary detractors over the last three or four days.
	Well, that's good.
	That's good.
	If people aren't mad at you, then you're doing something wrong, right?
	Well, I don't know about all that, but I mean, are you going to be dissatisfied?
	Are you going to put the brakes on people using your forum to dox?
	Because I know you've allowed that, and you've done so predicating it all on the concept of free speech.
	And I'm not sure that I would necessarily, I wouldn't consider that to be free speech.
	I'm kind of wondering if your philosophy on that has changed at all.
	Well, I'll take it one post at a time, but there has been no doxing since Zaza has been banned.
	So, you know, and I do think that Zaza could possibly be VC.
	So VC could just be trolling all of us by, you know, going in on the doxing stuff when it's the same person who did it.
	I think that person has so little of a life that they would probably go to those lengths.
	But that's just not true.
	Hogg in the chat says, just think Aldous Burbank and Redacted, that would be Heather Wade, actually sat down with one of the most private people in the world, Art Bell, at Art Bell's Compound.
	That's the power of Belgab.
	That is so true.
	Like, I install a script on a server.
	Fast forward seven years and Heather Wade and Aldous Burbank are headed to Perrup, Nevada.
	How's that happen?
	The power of Belgab, indeed.
	Well, you envy not to butter you up or kiss your ass or suck your dick or anything, but... I don't mind if you do all those things.
	Go right ahead.
	You obviously inspired me to do what I did with my little forum and my podcast.
	I was never going to do any of that stuff.
	Actually, K-Dub was the one who said to me on Asgab, maybe you guys should do a podcast.
	And he was talking about myself and Metron.
	Now, Metron and I were going to do it, but then I started doing it by myself.
	And then I started enjoying it.
	So I only would have ever done this.
	I wouldn't have even done it if I hadn't come across Belgab.
	And if K-Dub hadn't asked me to do a podcast, and I wouldn't have started a forum if I didn't want to keep posting in the same format as I do on Belgab.
	And I was influenced a lot by you creatively, so to speak.
	Oh, you're too sweet.
	Stop it.
	Well, that's nice of you to say thank you.
	I've inspired a lot of people to do a lot of things, I think.
	None of it has necessarily manifested in the form of me taking the ball and running with it.
	But a lot of people have been inspired to do a lot of things because of this whole Belgab thing.
	And that's nice of you to say.
	Thank you.
	I really appreciate that.
	But I do hope that you will put the brakes on the doxing thing because whatever beefs you may have with people on the internet, I've said this before.
	I just have this operating philosophy that I feel like have your beef on the internet, but when it gets to the point where people are actually making concerted efforts to inject all of this into real life for people, It's just a little bit much, you know?
	No, I agree.
	I don't think you would necessarily disagree with that.
	And I think that point was even made by me when you called in on the last case.
	I need that advice, MV.
	I need that advice from you because I don't know the ins and outs and I'm new to this stuff.
	I didn't even necessarily know that kind of thing was wrong, to be quite honest with you.
	At the time, I didn't think it was – I just think – I don't really know everything about this stuff, this forum stuff and whatever.
	I just – I did study some web design and stuff, and that did help me to do some of what I did.
	But aside from that, I was just trying to find my feet the way I could as I went.
	So I took some inspiration from you.
	I tried to think what was a reasonable thing to do.
	And Zaza was the one who posted all that personal information to people.
	And I should have stopped it.
	But I didn't really understand what was going on at the time, I don't think.
	Well, maybe this show has turned a new leaf for you.
	Maybe it has motivated you to alter your perception of people and events in certain ways and to pursue what maybe could be described as a healthier path forward for you given your circumstances and condition.
	And I hope that you enjoyed being on here tonight.
	I hope you felt like you had a good time and nobody set you up or otherwise tried to harm you in any way.
	I certainly enjoyed it.
	And thanks to everybody who called in tonight.
	Much appreciated.
	And we'll see you next time.
	This is the Gabcast, a podcast about Belgab.com.
	If you'd like to download this show, you can do so at ufoship.com/slash gabcast.
	And you can also subscribe to the RSS feed there, which will allow you to have this show automatically downloaded to your podcatcher of choice.
	On Android, I happen to like Beyond Pod, even though it's old and it's not being particularly well maintained by the developer.
	If you want a good Android ecosystem podcatcher for your podcasts, take a look at Beyond Pod.
	We'll catch you later.
	Have a good night.
	Taw you've been listening to The Gabcast, a podcast about BellGab.com.

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