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Dec. 16, 2014 - GabCast Bellgab.com
01:35:08
16 December, 2014

16 December, 2014 ---------- On tonight's episode we talk about: interesting new ways to use mayo, getting paid on YouTube, and life on Mars. Hosts: Jazmunda, b_dubb, MV, Falkie2013, Eddie Dean.

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Allison, if you raised a baby and beat it and kicked it and yelled at it, it would turn out to be a mean baby, a mean human.
Visit UFOship.com for live streaming and chat.
Hello.
This is the Gabcast.
It's a podcast, mostly, I guess, about Bellgab.com, which is a forum about a show that no longer exists.
So really, there's so much meaning in all of us being here gathered with one another this week.
I'd like to thank everybody for being a part of that.
If you want to be on the show, the number to call 623-242Cast at 623-242.
Kaiast.
We're here with Jazz Munda.
What's up, brother?
I'm alive.
Eddie Dean.
Hey, everybody.
B-Dib.
Howdy.
And Falkey, he's co-hosting tonight.
How you doing, man?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's got some mic issues.
Just remember to remain physically close to that mic throughout the show.
Holding up my right hand.
If I get any more clothes, I'll be eating it.
I would like to hear you.
I would like a repeating loop of you saying those words, and I'd like it to play on every speaker in my home simultaneously for the next 48 to 72 hours.
Thank you.
Anyway, that's the Gabcast.
Again, that number to call if you want to be on the show, 623-242Cast.
And Falkey, I'm glad you're here tonight.
And I would assume that a lot of people think we're here just to talk about Falke tonight.
But really, I'd like you to just be here like us, you know, just talking about whatever you want to talk about.
Well, I sorry, I said my video.
I don't want it to be all about me.
So I'm just, but you guys have fun and be yourself.
I didn't hear your video.
You asked me to listen to it prior to the show, and I never got around to it.
I've just been so busy.
I'm sorry.
Is there anything in there I should have heard?
Say it again.
I'm sorry.
It was one big plug for Gabcast.
I gave the email, the phone numbers, everything.
How many subscribers do you have?
101.
Well, that might give us a little boost.
We'll see.
I don't know.
Are the numbers up by exactly 101?
Are the listening numbers on the gabcast tonight up that high?
Wouldn't the symmetry of that just be shocking?
I mean, imagine.
Guys, look at the stats.
I just can't.
I'm shocked.
Anyway, get that guy's phone number and address for me.
How many of those 101 subscribers are your stalkers, Falkie?
I have no idea, and I really don't care.
As long as they watch my videos, they can snarl at me or whatever.
You know, comments anyway.
You know, Falke, in the time that you were mad at me and you had me banned on your forum and you were saying I was Stalinist and all this other stuff.
I mean, I've never directly told you this, but I didn't ban you because I dislike you or because I thought you were getting too popular or anything like that.
It's just that your presence at one point seemed as though it was just attracting a rather wide swath of people who existed in an online form only for the purpose of following you around from website to website to troll you, to release information about you.
And so the theory was if you eliminate the cat poop, you eliminate the flies, not to say your cat poop, but that's the most direct analogy I can come up with.
And also, I felt like you really had a slight lack of awareness with regard to what it was that was causing these people to follow you around.
I just felt like you kind of needed to be protected from yourself.
But it wasn't because I have a problem with you or had a problem specifically with you.
And I've said repeatedly that if I saw you just walking down the street, I'm sure I would like you.
Well, I'm not tooting my own horn.
I'm probably.
I'm sure you're not.
But go ahead.
I probably misunderstood your motivations, but I was a little hurt by it.
But the other thing is these guys have followed me from one board to your board and then to my channel.
And it's now I told Quinnandaro81 on the phone today, I need an unlisted life, I think, that I'm like Superman with bullets now.
I don't even worry about these guys.
Except if they attack my girlfriend, then that's crossing the line.
But other than that.
Why?
Okay, here's what I'm saying to you.
This is why I put the Falke thread back into it.
By the way, there's a lot.
Someone's like, it sounds like you're moving a desk.
Whoever that is, I don't know if you could mute while you're doing that or whatever.
It really sucks.
It's probably B-dub.
It's always B-dub.
He's always fapping.
I even asked for donations to B-Dub's microphone fund and gave the prices for blue microphones in my video.
We all know B-dub is destitute.
So your donations, yes, are accepted.
That's donations at bdub.com.
If you'll just go there, donations readily accepted.
Anyway, that's why I brought back the Falke thread, made that public again, and just went out of my way to say I don't give a shit anymore because it seems to me that you have accepted this notion of putting yourself out there as a quasi, I guess, public figure.
And if you've decided to do that, it just seems fair to me that people should comment on you and what it is you're saying, what it is you're doing, and whatever their opinion is of what it is you're doing.
Yeah, I mean, MV, you didn't take down the George Norrie sucks thread because George called the show or he might have sent you a PM or two.
Well, no, but I did go back and delete over 17,000 posts.
Thank you.
I'm Michael Van.
No, I didn't change anything, but I just want to, I'm sorry.
I have a really bad frog in my throat tonight.
Welcome to Cough Gab.
Well, I just want to clear the air because I've never directly, because I don't like to communicate with you in text form.
You're a hard person to communicate with in text form.
And don't take that as an insult.
It's just not the preferred method of communicating with you.
I would rather speak to you.
Yeah, I like, I get tired of typing.
My fingers get weary, you know.
But you don't follow a train of thought very well when you're typing.
If I'm speaking to you, you're just like anyone else.
But when you're typing and communicating in that, you just wander just a time.
I admit that, but somebody pointed out to me I should stop doing the personal stuff and said I'm winding down, you know.
Are you really?
I'm trying to.
I'm really trying to.
Well, what do you mean try to?
Either you stop recording the videos or you don't.
No, no, no.
I mean the personal comments and what I'm doing.
I'm trying to get away from that.
And it was part I started doing as a reaction to all the crap I was getting.
And I'm trying not to do that.
And it's got to be a conscious thing because my first urge is, you son of a bitch.
Falky, why did you put your personal information out there in the first place?
I'm curious about that.
What was the motivation behind it?
Way back when, when I started being on the internet, we didn't have screens.
I mean, practically, we were doing, we didn't have visuals.
We had a little text box in the bottom of the screen on Genie or CompuServe or AOL or the Well.
And it was like a green screen or a yellow screen.
All you had was typing.
But I never thought when I said where I work or what I do in my political, anybody would attack me.
I was naive.
I admit it.
I didn't know there were people on the internet that would go after you.
I had no idea.
What are you talking about now or 12 years ago?
12 years ago.
It didn't occur to me.
So what's with all these people that it appears to me have been following you and essentially stalking you for 12 years?
Why do they hate you so much?
What did you do?
When I worked, they didn't like the job I had.
They didn't like my politics.
They hated the fact that I was the administrator of the conservative forum on that board, and I got them thrown off the board.
Well, here's another handle.
So is this a political thing?
You know, with these, your stalkers, they seem to be the liberal types.
Is that what it boils down to?
That's part of it.
Well, I will say this, Falky.
I mean, I've seen how you run your own forum, and so I can imagine maybe a person or two getting miffed at the way you – I mean, for instance, at theguyfrompittsburgh.boardhost.com, you can't type Belgab, right?
No, I changed that.
You can now type bellgab.
I took that out.
And can you also type a word that contains the letters MV in that order?
Yes.
Okay.
Took that out.
Okay.
Well, see, but I'm just saying that it's my instinct.
Gentler Falky, that's who I am.
Well, I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't run the forum.
Maybe you can still have it be like your thing, but maybe you should leave the administration to somebody else.
And that's my point.
I'm just saying I can see with that approach to running a forum that perhaps that's not your thing.
That's not your.
Yeah, well, the fellow who's helping me, he's got work to do.
So, you know, I'm putting things out there that are of interest to people.
And all those videos I put on there get a ton of views that people are watching them.
So that's part of the reason I've got the thing.
I got tired of searching all over for videos I wanted to watch.
What board was this where you started having all these problems with people?
That was SF Redbook.
Is that an escort site?
It was.
It's been shut down by the IRS and the FBI.
Oh, really?
Tax evasion.
Well, so it was legit, is what you're telling me.
Well, you know.
It was above board.
It was the standard by which other websites are judged.
But it had 60 forums on there, and some when they were advertising, a lot of them were individual forums of people on the board.
They had started a music forum, a food forum, a movies forum.
It was a site about escorts or hookers or...
Well, that was about three-quarters of it, but a lot of stuff on there was social.
Yeah.
Were you paid?
Was this a paid position?
No, no.
The administrator of Freedom Hall, and he changed the name from his own name.
Would you like being administrator?
I said, sure, I did that for three years.
Why?
Catch Smile says this has the vibe of being in a TB ward.
So I'd like to thank you for tuning in to tonight's broadcast.
Hopefully, this is the pinnacle of the quality of this product that we'll be bringing here tonight.
Yes.
If you want to be on the show again, I'd agree.
That number to call 623-242-CAS-623-242-CAST.
So, Falkey, I mean, what was it that had you on that forum?
I mean, I'm not saying there's anything wrong necessarily if you paid for sex.
I mean, someone wants to sell sex.
And there's a willing customer who gives a shit, right?
I knew women on the board.
Part of my.
Do you mean prostitutes by that?
Yeah, but I don't, I, you know, providers, whatever they'll call them, escorts.
I was inboxing a lot of them.
I was talking to them on the phone.
Some of them are my friends.
Some of them are fellow cat owners.
And our interest was that we have cats to do what they do for a living.
But did you ever have any sex with any of these women?
No.
Really?
Why?
Why would you hang out there with a bunch of psychologically flawed women and not daddy issues?
Yeah, and at least be getting something out of it because there's nothing to be gained otherwise, I can assure you.
There's still people.
They're really great conversationalists.
They are people, but there are also other people who don't have all those screwed-up issues.
Well, you know, illegal activity.
I'm sorry, what?
People who don't engage in an illegal activity.
Well, you know, one person, several persons I know on that site have kids.
One person, her husband died, and she had to go start doing next.
Didn't have enough money.
And they're raising their children.
And I figured that they're the same as anybody else.
They just have a thing that happens that the government and religious organization thinks it's evil and they make it illegal.
But why, out of all the billions of internet message boards that you could have had communications with people on?
Why that one?
I got in there and started looking around and started posting originally, and it wasn't the escort something to do when I couldn't sleep.
There is that, ladies and gentlemen.
I worked weird hours and I'd wake up and I couldn't.
I couldn't sleep, so I started posting.
So this is the nucleus of all of these people following you around, is the stuff that was going on on this SFRA book.
Sorry, beat up.
Go ahead.
I was just going to say, I don't necessarily buy that.
You go to a site that's frequented by prostitutes and hookers and you don't have any thoughts of possibly having sex with them.
I don't buy that.
I don't think.
I'm not going to say I didn't have any thoughts, but I didn't engage in it.
Falkey, come on.
You didn't get a blow job or two.
I mean, nothing.
You didn't have the budget for it.
No, I had the budget.
It's just that I worked graveyard 40 hours a week.
I was half awake half the time.
That's why when I couldn't sleep, I'd get on the board and start typing away.
If I'm on a website and it's just a bunch of prostitutes, I'm thinking, man, maybe I can, it's 2 a.m.
Maybe I can get one of these chicks over here to blow me before 3:30.
Then I can go to sleep.
That's what I'm thinking.
The thing is, though, they had things like one section on there.
We were picking our NFL picks every NFL season.
So I was doing that every season.
Guys were talking about restaurants in Reno or Las Vegas or Sacramento or movies or whatever.
That was all the social thing.
I was on there for that sort of stuff.
Well, I will say this.
I don't think you should be judged for paying for sex.
I mean, just from a libertarian standpoint, I think if somebody, a free adult, wants to sell sex and there's somebody who is willing to buy that service, okay, that's between those two people as far as I don't look down on it.
I think it should be totally legal to pay for sex.
I was on other boards too, paranormal boards and all that.
So it wasn't just that board.
So paranormal activity and prostitution.
I'm just trying to amalgamation of those two.
Why would you go to a website that at the root level was about prostitutes and then it just happens to have this other crap?
Because I was in.
You guys can't seem to understand that, yes, the reason for the existence of the board was that.
But to give you an idea, one guy that died a while back, he was into reenacting the Civil War for the South.
And we would chat and we would chat on the phone about that.
I met him through another guy who buying and selling silver and he retired to Nevada.
So I met people on the board through the board, talked to them on the phone, met some of them.
It was social.
And it had nothing to do with providers, escorts, masseuses, whatever you're going to do.
It was, hey, how you doing?
What's going on?
I got the feeling, though, that the other hosts, like B-Dub particularly, I think you're asking your questions from sort of a negative perspective.
And would you say that's the case?
Because I don't care if someone pays for sex.
Well, I mean, in a purely free market, I mean, people have the right to do whatever they want with themselves, right?
And I don't necessarily have a problem with.
But if he did pay for sex, I'm just saying.
First of all, I don't want to know about it.
Secondly, I don't care.
Thirdly, there has to be another place.
There are plenty of places on the internet that you can go and talk about conservative politics and paranormal phenomena and all this other stuff that don't even involve the big radio issue of the pornography.
What I'm saying is this website is attracting a certain type of individual, specifically a type of individual, a male individual, and that's not a particularly healthy personality, it seems.
I think that's my point.
What, if you want to bang a chick for money?
Yeah.
If you can't bang a chick, if you don't have the social graces that allow you to get into a healthy relationship with a woman and have sexual relations or a man, whatever your predilection is, but you have to resort to hiring someone for that position.
That's a specific type of individual.
Well, what if you're at a Jose Feliciano show and you're just there for a little of the old in and out?
And you're driving a gold Oldsmobile Cutlass.
I believe it was a Santan Sierra.
Cutlass Sierra.
Yeah.
Oh, that's the same thing.
Cutlass is a Sierra?
Yeah.
Or Sierra is a Cutlass.
I'm feeling your Fargo reference there.
Well, that would be a perfect example.
That would be someone who kidnaps is open to kidnapping for money.
So, B-Dub, at the root of your frustration is probably you just want Falke to admit, yeah, I was there looking for some poons, so what?
Yeah.
You just say that.
That's probably, that's why people go to a site like that to begin with.
No one goes to a site like that for paranormal chat or conservative chat or whatever.
Godlike Productions and some other boards.
Falkey, you were a user at Godlike Productions?
At some point, I don't remember my handle or my password right now, but I'm on there somewhere.
And some other board.
Above Top Secret is another one.
What did you say, Jasmunda?
I said, I'm reporting Falki for using God Lab Productions.
Well, I personally, Falke, even if you did pay for prostitutes, I mean, so what?
I've heard some say only losers do that, but then the response is hypothetically, well, no, it's losers who can't afford to pay for that.
See?
I would remind you, I had the girlfriend at the time, and I've still got the same girlfriend, and she would walk into my apartment and see me typing away, so she knew I was on the board.
Were you?
Was she just looking at your fingers, or was she?
No, she'd look at the screen.
What are you doing?
I'm on here, and this guy's, you know, look what he's posting about me and all this stuff.
Look what he's posting about me.
So absolutely nothing has changed.
No, I guess not.
Same action.
Follow me in that board to this when I was only on three days.
Okay, well, I mean...
Falky, do you know how these guys found you at Belgab?
I...
I think maybe because I did my first video and one of them was looking for me because it's because you use the name Falkey everywhere you go.
What do you think's going to happen?
I mean, you're like, it's 2011, so I'll call myself Falke2011 on this website.
Oh, here's a new account I'm creating, but it's 2013.
I am now Falke2013.
That's what you're doing.
You got to stop that.
There's a continuity there.
See, you're followable.
Yeah, well, I did the first video, and one of the guys, AFAT Leap, posted a comment in my video channel.
So he found me on YouTube.
I was shocked someone from that board would find me on YouTube.
I wasn't going for that thing.
I just started commenting on stuff.
I saw a guy named Glendon Cameron and another guy named Joe Legati doing videos and said, hey, I can do that.
Aldous Burbank in the chat room says, this is designed to get me laid.
You know, I think that your this is designed to make me money quote is probably one of the funniest things I've heard in the last eight months, I'm going to estimate.
I mean, just because it conjures all these images in my mind of a committee of people all sitting around a table.
Now, look, we're going to design something here that's going to make this guy some money.
So let's start putting pen to paper and we're going to get some ideas out there for people to put in their minds, wrap their minds around.
We're going to start making this guy some money.
Jenkins, go.
What do you got?
Well, we'll have YouTube videos.
Okay, I like where you're going with that.
Okay, Adams, what are you thinking over here?
I think we should talk about his health.
It should be all about his hell.
All right.
Okay, you know what?
You guys are the fucking shit.
I'm going to step back.
You put this thing together.
We're going to put a plan in action.
This man's going to be making some money.
You guys design it.
Go.
And he walks out of the room.
And now you've got Falke's quote six months later.
This is a committee designing this so I could make money, you stupid hole.
Show your face.
Funky, how are you actually making...
Hold on a minute.
Hold on.
He's not making shit from this.
I can promise you.
Are you making money and how are you making money?
I've never actually seen a commercial on.
I mean, I haven't watched all your videos.
You probably got to have a lot of people.
I've never seen a commercial.
No, I don't.
There are hard commercials on there.
I just had one.
Somebody, I can't remember who they said it was on there.
They watched it.
Justin said he watched some big company.
I know ESPN is on there and ads now in my videos and the NFL football, so I've seen those.
Do you think the NFL and ESPN are targeting your videos to put their ads on?
So they showed up for that, I guess.
So what, I mean, do you care to give a dollar amount as to what you've made as a result of these events?
I've made about 40 bucks.
That's it.
Over what period of time?
Three years.
Seven minutes.
That would be awesome if you said that.
Like, hey, you know, you're eking it out here.
Good job.
But the thing is, when I did short videos, people said they're too short and long videos are too long.
I don't want to.
Here's the problem, Falkey.
Here's the problem.
You are not conducive to a video production.
Your appearance and the background.
Listen, I'm a fat pile of shit, okay?
So I don't go making videos of myself so people can stare at my fat face, trying not to be distracted by it and instead absorbing the information that's coming out of my fat hole.
I'd rather just talk into a microphone.
Thanks, George.
And I will tell you this.
When I heard you call into the GabCast last week, I was thinking to myself, man, if this guy just did a podcast, if he just talked into a microphone, I could listen to this probably.
But you've got, you, I mean, first of all, you've got this stupid alien head three feet behind you, and it's so bright that if I look at one of these videos, it fries my retina.
Rule number one.
Is that the J.J. Abrams lens flare?
Now, look, I changed the bulb.
It's now got the green bulb in it.
You should not have a light source behind you when you're filming video.
That's rule number one.
People like that head.
Well, people are idiots.
Get rid of that.
That sucks.
But what I would do is just abandon the video altogether.
Start a podcast of some kind where you just talk into a microphone.
And I'm telling you, people will be more likely to actually hear what it is you're saying thank you.
That's going to happen in about two weeks.
Are you going to do this thing with Area 51 Drone?
Are you guys really going to do a podcast together?
We've been talking every night.
He keeps you awake all night.
He sent me a message asking if he could put it on UFO ship, and I said, well, I mean, put something.
If it's not a pile of shit, I'll consider it.
I literally said that.
If it's not a pile of shit.
Well, we're going to do it.
He's busy with work till Christmas.
We're going to do it after Christmas.
Go ahead, Jeff.
It does have standards.
Go ahead, Jess.
Yes, it does.
I've just done some calculations about the $40, and I've worked out that it's about $0.4 cents a cough.
Well, most people do not profit as a result of their coughing, so he has worked an angle.
Okay, it seems like your videos, like you're confusing a video production with a podcast.
Because, I mean, the opening music, I don't know why you do the opening music and tour.
If you want to continue that, that's fine.
But put like a text on it or a screen or something where you're not just staring into the camera while the music plays.
I think you're just getting confused on what it is you're actually having.
I'll take the music off.
You guys think it sucks?
I'll remove it.
It's not just the music itself.
It's the fact that it's not directly routed into the recording.
I understand that.
Well, I don't have the equipment for that.
Well, that's why you don't do it.
That's why you don't do it.
And furthermore, it just looks like if I didn't know you, I didn't know the context of any of this.
I didn't know you from a hill of beans.
And I watch one of your videos and I just see some dude staring into the foreground in silence for the first, I have no idea.
What is this shit?
And I click, click.
What is this dog shit?
Click.
I mean, you've got to just boom, start talking.
People's attention spans are nothing, and they are not going to abide that.
All right.
Well, I think the length of it, the length of it is definitely an issue.
I mean, it's way too long for an intro.
Yeah.
Well, so he needs to lose that, and he needs to get rid of the video.
Video, the video serves no purpose, really.
It could just be a straight audio podcast.
It would make everything so much easier.
It would be better.
And it would improve.
It would be so much better.
See, Falkie, don't take this as an attack or a personal criticism.
What we're saying is that you are listenable.
I mean, you do have a voice.
You do have something to say.
You are a human being.
You do have worth.
I'm going to tell you that now.
And so just change the medium that you're using.
I mean, this video thing that's not P-dub.
P-dub, stop sending me these private messages and just say it into the microphone for the love of shit.
I just threw up a little.
Yeah, that's what he sent me.
He just threw it.
Is that because you complimented Falkie?
There's so much hatred.
No comment.
I just, I think a lot of this stuff has been said before.
It's been being said again.
I think these criticisms are meant to be constructive, I think.
I mean, honestly, like when I said to go do audio only, that's not said in a mean way.
It's meant to be constructive.
Well, I was going to do that a year ago before the Falky form got removed, and the guy helping me out.
We were going to set up a podcast, and somebody, and I don't know who it was, and he didn't know what it was, hacked his PC and destroyed it.
Ah, bullshit.
That's what he told me.
Screw that guy.
That's nonsense.
Who is this guy?
He asked me not to tell.
It's somebody from Belgab.
So somebody who doesn't know how to use a computer.
It's Eddie.
On Eddie.
What, me being the hacker?
Is that what you said?
No, you're trying to help Falki get started.
Start his media empire.
I hope that I'm credited as a producer then.
Falkey, can I ask you, what's the deal with Little Chris?
Is he a friend of yours or not?
I can't work it out.
Sometimes you're not.
Little Chris is.
Oh, God.
How do I describe Little Chris?
He's short and lives under a bridge.
No, that's the one in Seattle with the concrete.
Or is that Portland?
I can't remember.
There's a troll made out of concrete.
Little Chris, on the one hand, wants to help me.
On the other hand, drives me crazy.
And he keeps saying I got to put out content.
I got to kick it up a notch and all this stuff.
The other night he sent me 12 emails.
And I said, look, I can't have it both ways.
I'm sick in the living room.
I get done with that.
I come in here and start doing a video.
You're sending me 12 emails in three hours.
I got to stop and read your emails, go back to what I'm doing.
And then he wanted to do a doll of Kathy.
And I said, no, you're not going to do a fleshy cat love doll.
Get the hell out of here.
So, and other things I want to mention.
They were really vile.
Oh, that's not right.
That's not funny.
I think taking sheep shots at your girlfriend was not cool.
And he said, I'll pay her $60,000 for the rights.
She wouldn't take $60,000 even though she's poor because she feels very insulted by all that stuff.
She was furious with those Bardell videos and Photoshop pictures.
She said, I don't know these people.
What the hell are they attacking me for?
I can understand they're attacking you.
They don't like you, but I'm not doing it.
I just went on and he nagged the crap out of me to do a video with Kathy.
I finally did it to shut him up.
How did you know that?
So was little Chris the reason you did.
You gave him what he wanted.
You gave him what he wanted, and that's and that was the start of a lot of this.
And, you know, it comes back to like, why do you why do you care what people on the internet say or do?
Like, well, originally it was, you know, a reaction to what they were doing.
And, you know, what the hell are you doing?
I'm not doing anything to you.
You don't know me from Adam and other than what I say about myself, but you really don't know me.
And other things are going on.
And one of the people from that board called my mother and told her I was conservative, and she was a lifelong FDR Democrat, and she got furious at me.
So she didn't know I was into Rush Limbaugh on Fox News, and she told me she'd never talked to me again.
I said, well, that ain't going to last about three months.
And that's exactly what happened.
So I just, you know, reacted to that out of anger and righteous indignation.
You know, why are you attacking me?
You don't like my politics.
You don't like my weight.
You don't like my job, the way I look.
Why does it bother you?
There's other things you can worry about.
I'm at the point now where I don't care.
But little Chris keeps making demands of me to do things.
And when I tell him, no, I don't want to do this.
And he'll just nag the crap.
I mean, and I told him to stop with the emails.
You're interrupting me.
And he basically recently told me to go to hell and goodbye.
So I'm doing stuff with Area 51 Drone.
We're going to do the podcast.
And if I drop the videos, I'll drop the videos.
And I may keep the videos.
There's other things that I'm going to do other than being sitting in this bedroom, but I got to get well first and get my foot fixed.
We have a caller.
Hi, you're on the air.
Hello.
I have a question for Falki.
Yeah.
Falky.
If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you fucking be?
Oh, hang up.
Take my answer off the air.
Bye.
Thank you, sir.
Thanks, Aldous.
Probably an oak tree.
I think it was a rhetorical question.
Falky, I think you've got to ditch little Chris.
I really think you do.
Go fuck off.
Excuse my language.
And he said put him on mute.
Just put him on mute.
Don't listen to him.
Don't respond to him.
I mean, I guess I'm puzzled, Falki, as to why it's not utterly and explicitly clear to you that you're being trolled by that guy.
I mean, it's just.
Because I wasn't sure what.
I wasn't sure what he was doing, if he had good motivations or bad.
And I decided to give him another chance.
That's all.
So I don't know what he's doing.
But now he's putting other things out.
And I just said, you know, okay, leave me alone.
I'll leave you alone.
It's done.
Do whatever you want to do.
I don't care.
You're pest.
You know.
Well, I mean, okay, I guess I don't really know what to do.
It's happened the last couple of days.
So it's not something that happened a week ago.
Oh, by the way, Falki, the other, it was like maybe three weeks ago on this show.
I called you fat and said if I were fat like you, I wouldn't be doing video podcasts.
And that was really mean of me.
And I want to apologize because I was.
Hey, look.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hold on.
I was really pilled up on painkillers.
Excuse me.
I was Judy Garland in Judy Garland mode.
Well, actually, you just made full sense.
I saw Judy Garland in the Waldorf Astoria when we were in New York in 1962.
She was throwing crockery and bottles at her maid, and they were coming out the door of the suite.
I almost got clawbird by one.
So I saw Judy Garland blast that out of her mind with my mother.
Hey, hey, have I told you guys that Bill Shatner has met me?
Have you met Bill Shatner?
Yeah, I did when he was doing his Trans Ford Man album and the other album.
I don't remember what it was.
How did that happen?
He had a public appearance.
I went there, but I talked to him about it.
He had an article.
He was on the American Sportsman.
And I went back to the magazine stand.
There was a copy of Bow and Arrow, and I got him to sign it.
He had been doing bore hunting on a Catalan Island, and he doesn't hunt anymore, but he was then.
And he said, where'd you get this?
So I got a second copy here.
He hadn't seen the issue.
But that's back 1968 or something or 70.
I don't remember.
It's ancient, long time ago.
Anytime someone tells me, because of Belgab, from now on, anytime anyone describes having met William Shatner, I'm just going to imagine Morphe Flow's avatar where he's sitting next to William Shatner and Shatner looks just so disappointed and uncomfortable in his own skin sitting there just like, for Christ's sake, can you put me around some people who've touched a breast before for the love of shit?
Yes.
Yeah.
A lago breast.
No matter who it is that tells me they've met William Shatner, that'll be the image I have in my mind.
Okay, well, if you'd like to be on the show, we are more than happy to take your call.
And there's a non-toll-free number you can call, which is 623-242-CAST.
That's 623-242-2278.
You guys have anything you'd like to talk about?
What about you, Falki?
I mean, what are some things you'd like to talk about?
I don't know.
Oh, really?
We thought you may have done some show prep of some sort.
The last show was all about me, practically, except for the lady who called in.
And I didn't want it to be all about me.
I hadn't thought about what to talk about.
Well, we could talk about alien visitation.
We could talk about paranormal stuff.
We could talk about what's in the news.
We could talk about the fact that Jasmunda stops posting for about a week and a bunch of people get killed in a cafeteria.
And Jasmunda comes back with a pocket full of chocolate.
I'm sorry to cut you out, cut in there.
I'd forgotten he said he was planning to go on vacation up somewhere.
But my worry is: okay, it's 10 hours.
Well, we've driven 10 hours to go get stuff.
So he might have been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
That was my first thought.
Oh, my God.
What if he's a hostage and his wife's a hostage?
Falky, I think sometimes you think Australia has the population of 14 people.
It's a teaching.
Australia is a treehouse for it.
It is.
Every time there's a shock attack in the Northern Territory, you think it's Jasmunda.
If there's a shock attack, the West of Australia, it's Jasmunda.
But no, it is a big country.
There's more than 10 people here.
All your cities are all scrunched together around the coast, except for that darn one up there that got tacked by the Japanese.
Here's something we can talk about.
NASA discovers a hint of life on Mars as it happened.
Is there life on Mars?
This is from the Telegraph, by the way.
I guess.
Well, you know what?
Before we get into this, let me go ahead and take another call here.
May as well.
Hi, you're on the air.
Hello.
Yeah, this is White Croll.
Falky, don't listen to a word these guys are telling you.
I'm a troll.
I could recognize a troll.
These guys are trolling you.
White troll and little Chris and everybody else who helps you are your friend.
You really think little Chris is a troll?
These guys want to ruin you, Falki.
You're doing it.
I'm giving you the absolute wrong advice.
You're what you've been doing.
You're doing a lot of things.
This is like meta-trolling.
You're doing a double reverse mind fuck here.
Little Chris is absolutely the troll.
Or not.
He's trolling by telling you where the trolls, Falkey.
Well, he kept mad.
I was talking to Justin and Area 50.
They're my advisors.
They're not my advisors.
I've got to have someone to talk to because in my personal life, all my friends are dead.
I've outlived them except two.
And when they go, I got nobody talking to him to Kathy.
I'll be in a rubber room in six months.
How old are you?
62.
These guys are just your fair weather friends, Falki.
When was the bad weather?
I don't.
All right, we'll see you guys.
Bye, White Crow.
Thank you for calling.
And for anybody else who'd like to be on the show again, that is 623-242-CAS.
You guys are being perfectly sincere, except for the B-dub, who doesn't like me anyway.
Well, he's being sincere.
He's being sincere, at least.
You make some comments that aren't very nice, but I think you guys are being on the show or on the forum.
No, no, you said something tonight that was, oh, you said what?
The tone of voice and all that.
When I was complimented, I think it was MV, you know, that I'm of worth or something.
This goes by so fast.
I have to listen to this.
I listened to last week's show last night till 6 in the morning.
So when it comes on there, I listen to the whole show.
So I've started doing that.
B-Dub, what do you say?
I mean, these are some rather serious allegations here.
Yes.
Yes, very serious.
I don't care.
Couldn't care less.
But honestly, like.
Wow, that's pretty direct.
I gave you.
I gave you some criticisms that were meant to be constructive.
I may have chuckled here and there about some stuff you said.
One of the things that continues to come up is that you don't seem to be very aware of how people perceive you or perceive the things that you say about yourself.
And that is a source of comedy and humor.
And I think that's part of the reason why you're being trolled.
You basically make it too easy.
Let's take another call real quick.
They're coming in, so let's just go ahead and take them, okay?
Hi, you're on the air.
Hello.
Yes, David, what's up?
Hey, what's up?
I have to address the elephant in the room that nobody wants to address.
I have to ask about the mayonnaise.
I forgot about that.
I'm not even clear.
What is the deal with this Mayo?
Nobody forgot about the mayonnaise.
It's been all over the board.
Nobody forgot to do it.
No one wants to know.
Okay, Falke, Mayo.
Begin.
I put on sandwiches.
What do I know from mayonnaise?
Lip sandwiches?
Somebody talking about mayonnaise somewhere all over the place.
What do I know from mayonnaise?
I use best foods when I have the money.
Here's the scuttle butt.
Here's what the Belgab rumor mill has conjured up.
Now, just bear with me here.
Supposedly, your girlfriend.
Now, listen, no one knows this unless you've put this out there.
Because there certainly wasn't any other way for the public to glean this information.
Your girlfriend will not perform oral sex on you unless you coat things in Mayo first.
What do you say about that?
First of all, there's the what again.
What is the what?
George can't help himself.
My girlfriend hasn't performed oral sex to me in an awful time.
So too much information.
See, this is what I mean.
What I'm talking about.
They make this stuff.
They make this stuff.
What's wrong with that?
It's the affection, the love between two people.
Go ahead, Falkey.
They make this stuff up about me out of whole cloth, and then I can't win.
If I respond to it, I get criticized for responding it.
I say nothing, then they make up more crap.
Well, so wait, are you saying this was sandwiches?
Are you saying this was just spun out of thin air this whole thing?
I spun out a whole clock.
I had half a jar of an off-brand mayonnaise in my refrigerator.
I showed it in the video I did this morning and chicken and a chicken and a can of tuna fish.
I put them on bread.
So this notion, this idea that your girlfriend will not go down on you unless you first cover your genitals and mayo, this is entirely made up.
It's entirely made up.
So there's not a post you submitted somewhere.
There's not a YouTube video.
There's not a.
None of that.
Huh.
Well, that really is what I would say.
Hellman's on my sandwiches, but that's, you know, now, why, why, why isn't she going down on you, though?
I mean, is it.
All right.
All right.
At that point, I'm happy now.
My work is done.
See you later.
I'm 62 years old.
There's a little blue pill, you know?
I'm hearing whatever that is, I'm hearing audio being sent back to us.
Somebody's playing something.
And someone sounds like they're scratching their back with the microphone.
Not me.
Is someone watching a video or something?
I don't know who that is.
My mic is muted.
No, me.
It was something.
It sounded like a commercial, real something fresh.
I'm sure it was B-dub.
I'm just a Mayo commercial.
Oh, wasn't it?
A commercial for Best Foods Mayonnaise.
Okay, yeah, it was B-Dub.
Okay, here's what B-Dub was trying to play for everybody, okay?
Autumn leaves, and your guys get hungry raking them up.
Don't they deserve your best?
Then start with creamy, fresh Hellman's real mayonnaise.
Only real mayonnaise is light and delicate enough to turn even a sandwich into a special treat.
A lip sandwich.
Oh my God.
Real mayonnaise is the other name for Hellmans.
Easy sandwich recipes right on the jar.
It's for your family.
Bring up the Hellmans and bring out the best.
The recipes are right on the jar.
Can you believe that?
I mean, you don't get a separate piece of paper.
It's not some.
I mean, right there on the jar, you look at it, there's your recipe.
Now, if you think you can find another product to match that, you tell me where it can be found because that's why I purchased this with my hard-earned money that I make every day down at the paper mill.
That one was funny.
LOL.
So why, why, again, I'm serious.
I mean, do you guys not have any kind of sex life?
I mean, nothing.
You're just cohabitating?
I mean, you've been together for 30, what?
37 years?
Yeah, but we.
It's me.
Well, there's other things.
I won't go into that.
There are things going on.
Do you have medical issues?
I mean, are you—is there some— I have—I'm 62.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's all I'm going to say.
There's pills for that now.
Yeah.
I mean, why?
Yeah, but I have high blood pressure, and I'm not sure I can take those little blue pills without anything.
Well, that's the value.
But the sialis, I think, is supposed to be better for people who have these issues.
Yeah, but what better way to die?
Just like, let's get it over with.
There's another thing.
We have tried to have sex, and it's like marine roll out of water.
B-Dub, come on.
I knew this was going to happen.
Well, no, I want B-dub is ruining this whole thing.
Now, Falkey, just ignore him because he's a troll.
What happened to the mic?
It didn't work.
I want it back.
It got replaced.
He's a troll, and I'm not pleased by him.
I have a job, and I replaced my mic.
So, I mean, have you go talk to your doctor, Falke, because I do believe that people who have high blood pressure issues or they're at risk of strokes or whatever else, I think Cialis is supposed to be better for those people.
I think that's the least of his worries.
We are not like the hot babe and the new hot brunette in the Viagra commercial or whatever it is I saw the other night.
We're kind of, you know, you may have noticed we're both overweight.
Well, you say that's the least of his problems, but I think we as living, breathing beings, you've got to clear the pipes from time to time.
And so, I'm saying if there's a pill that can make that happen, yeah, but if the pipe isn't working, well, the pipe just needs a uh needs some maintenance.
I also have some medical issues in that area, and uh, you know, oh my god, please don't tell us.
You mean beyond just like an ability, there's a what?
Oh, we don't want to know.
I do want to know.
I find this interesting.
Falkey, this would be a great place for you to not volunteer information.
Yeah, well, the thing is that she's not happy, but she wants sex and B-W, you shut your face.
My God.
Falke, just ignore this troll on the other end of the phone here.
I don't know what his problem is.
She wants it, but I can't do what she wants anymore.
Well, have you talked to a doctor?
I'm serious.
Have you spoken to a physician?
No, because I have all these, my knee and my foot and my sinus.
I got too much other crap to deal with.
Well, I think that part of being overall well is having some sex life.
You know, so, well, you know, well, that's a good way to lose.
You know, the average person burns 400 calories during sex.
Did you know that?
Yeah, but there's no way to do that.
You're just saying that with all your other maladies, it makes it hard to really participate in the process the way you would like to.
There's something else.
She has mentioned with her weight, she has trouble breathing, and she's having allergy issues right now, like I am with the sinuses.
Your girlfriend is going to kick your ass when she hears this.
Was your girlfriend, was your girlfriend pretty hot when she was young?
Oh, she was she was cute, and we look, we wore out a bed and had to throw it out, all right?
When I was 25, that's when I met her.
So, well, what I told you via a private message a couple of weeks.
And by the way, whoever's typing, you suck.
If you could stop.
Probably, Peta, but just mute.
Just mute your mic.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
It's an avalanche of sound.
I sent you a private message, and I said, Is it possible you could talk to her and get her permission?
Don't just go get a picture with, you know, I'll put that.
Talk to her and ask her if there is a picture that she would be comfortable with.
I asked her about that, and she says, Yes, she has some pictures to where they are right now.
Well, dig them up.
We want to see what she looked like.
I would say age 23, if we could see age 23.
Approximately.
I got to say something, and she knows this.
You talk about my place being cluttered.
My place is spotless compared to her place.
Is she a hoarder?
No, she's, I don't want to clean it, and I don't give a damn anymore.
And she has to periodically clean it for inspections, but she just lets everybody.
Inspections by who?
Well, now wait a second.
Falky, isn't your girlfriend the one that's always you're inviting to come over or you say she's coming over to help you clean?
And it doesn't sound like she's the best person.
She's just keep her own place clean.
Yeah, it doesn't sound like she's the best person to get to here to help clean.
She a long time ago decided life had not treated her fairly, and so she just throws stuff on the floor.
I don't want to get into that, but even her own girlfriend has come over and helped clean her apartment with her.
So the building will have insurance inspections.
She has to everything cleaned up.
I just have a lot of stuff, and it's piled up all over the place.
So who is inspecting her home?
Her in her apartment about once a year.
They come by for insurance.
So it's not because she's a known problem.
It's just that everybody in the building is getting this visit once a year.
Yeah.
Okay.
So she just doesn't throw anything away?
No, she doesn't pick anything up and throw it in the garden.
So if you walk into her house, because I watch hoarders a lot, and so you see some of these houses where the place is just so far gone that the toilet's not functional, and they'll have literally two to three feet of stacked up adult diapers just on the floor in the corner.
No, it's not that bad, but I've walked in there and I go, you know, why aren't you throwing your garbage out?
Or, you know, her sink is stopped up.
Now she's at a bathroom sink that's been stopped up since the day she moved in there and they don't fix it.
So they had to replace the wiring a couple years ago in the whole apartment.
There was wiring from 1932 or something.
That's not sarcastic, but it was ancient wiring.
And I get on her case about it too.
But she comes over here because my knee is the cartilage is gone underneath my kneecap.
And when that swells up the fluid, I can't walk.
Okay, but back on your girlfriend's apartment.
I mean, so you walk in there, just describe for me the set the scene.
I mean, do you mean literally garbage?
Like she'll, let's say, use some ground beef and she won't even throw the wrapper away from me.
No, not that, but she'll eat a TV dinner and instead of getting up, putting the tray in, she'll stick it in the box and throw it on the floor.
Go ahead, Eddie.
Mr. Majestic in the chat room wants us to ask Falki why he won't get married.
To his girlfriend or to another woman?
I don't know.
I don't know what that's about.
I just thought I'd throw that out there.
We've lived together a number of times and she is separated from her husband and has been for a long time.
So that's the reason why we're not married.
So she's still married?
She's still technically married.
Her husband abandoned her and there's property issues and things and that's the reason she's not doing it.
So she could be coming into some money.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
Are we talking like a pretty good chunk of cash?
Some pretty nice coin?
Well, four or five hours.
My husband's mother owns about 15 houses.
And she's still legally his wife, but he took off and he was spending the rent check on drugs and booze.
So that's why she said, get out.
Or he took off.
I'm not clear on this.
I wasn't there.
Well, are you working in Angle, Falki?
Not me.
No.
I don't care what she is.
Is your girlfriend working in Angle?
Well, she doesn't even, she got disgusted with him, and I said, you really should divorce him one day and get this thing over.
Well, I might get money from the mother and all that.
And I said, oh, geez.
So I just, I don't even worry about that.
I mean, it's like, you know, I love the woman.
How long was she married to him?
I'm not certain.
Three, four years, maybe.
Well, that's not really enough.
I mean, if she were married to him for like 20 or 25 years and he had rights to these assets, she would probably be entitled to some.
But I mean, if it's just Worse than the guy, and I've told him, get divorced, get this over with.
He's not good.
Do they have kids?
No.
Well, there's like nothing there in terms of a relationship or history.
So it seems pretty flimsy.
Well, all I know is she's just let it go.
And I don't know why.
And I'm not worried about it.
I got other things to worry about.
People in the chat room are wondering if George Norrie is listening to the Gabcast tonight.
Probably not.
I hope for his sake.
Why do they think he might be?
I don't know.
Maybe he can comment on the show as we comment on his show.
I'm guessing that's the Gabcast is beginning to suck harder than George Norrie.
This is not.
Hey, we have never made the promise that this is a quality production, okay?
But we have made the effort in the past.
This is supposed to be an audio representation of what's happening on the forums.
So don't come here, everybody, getting your hopes up with high expectations because I got a slice of reality to serve you here.
It is really chaos at times.
Go ahead.
Can you guys hear that?
I think it's the sound of Bat Elf fapping because, Falkey, I think you've given your detractors a whole lot more ammunition.
That's your problem.
So what?
He's a real guy.
He's a real human being.
Yeah, but so am I, but I'm not airing my laundry here.
I've got fifty-pointed.
This is what people love about him.
I don't even read their crap.
This is what people want from Falkey.
This is why he is something of an internet sensation because I understand that.
I mean, you look at any popular radio host.
What do they do?
They talk a lot about their personal lives.
Every one of them.
Think about any radio host that you've ever liked in typical AM talk radio.
They all talk a lot about their personal lives.
And Falke just instinctively understands this relationship between broadcaster and listener.
And he's giving people what they want and expect.
I don't see any reason to fault him for that.
Falkey, what do you think?
Well, when I was younger, I hung around a radio station in Las Vegas.
I got to watch a lot of DJs.
And so, you know, I wouldn't mind doing that.
Hey, I want to ask you this, and please do not take this as an insult or as an attack or anything of the sort.
I mean, it's just a legitimate question.
When I see you, you don't seem like I'm not saying you're abnormal, but at the same time, you are a little bit unusual.
And so what I'm wondering is, have you ever been told that you're autistic or mildly autistic or anything of that nature?
No.
Well, by my chat, you have Asperger's or something along those lines?
My detractors have written that in various places.
Well, I know they have, but I don't give a shit what Bartell.
No, no, I'm fine in that respect.
There's nothing there, you know.
You know, I don't know.
I think that, you know what I think it is?
I don't know if this is a disease or something that can be diagnosed.
I'm certainly not trying to diagnose you.
But it seems like you have problems with maybe impulse control, you know, because you do that stream of consciousness thing and you talk about a lot of personal things that a lot of people refrain from doing in the public.
What do you think about that?
You have problems controlling your impulses?
It's been pointed out to me.
I should stop doing that.
And I'm really trying to make a conscious decision to cut that down.
So and talk about other stuff.
Now, if you watched my video today, I mentioned a couple things about me, but I mostly concentrate on the Gabcast.
And, you know, I think it's impossible for me to be on this show without everybody talking about me.
And I didn't want that.
I wanted you guys to just talk about whatever the hell you wanted to talk about.
And like some guy on board, it's all about you and your narcissist.
And I'm going, I'm not a narcissist.
I'm just talking about stuff.
Well, yeah.
So does that mean you want to talk about the findings of methane and some other organic chemical compounds on Mars?
Yeah, let's see if we can take a listen to this.
It's a little video clip here that's been linked to.
Let's see if we can get this to play properly or not.
Half the time, this kind of stuff doesn't even work.
I don't know.
Video's not playing.
And there's not really an article here that I can read either.
God, why does – oh, let me try – BW sent a link.
Okay, let's try this one.
Is this a video or is this going to be?
Okay, a team of scientists at NASA's Johnson Space Center in Houston and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California have found evidence of past water movement throughout a Martian meteorite reviving debate in the scientific community over life on Mars.
What is that?
So it's just more news about water on Mars?
Isn't everybody bored by water on Mars at this point?
We get it.
There's water there.
Well, so that's one component of it, but they've also found some methane and some other organic compounds that indicate that there's a pretty good chance that life existed at one point there.
So methane cannot exist without organic life, right?
Well, it's closely associated with it.
I think they would call that a positive correlation.
That is the approval bell.
What B-Dub just said was correct and affirmed.
Well, I always thought that, yes, in order for there to be any amount of methane, measurable methane, in an atmosphere, there had to be organic life.
Are they saying they found the methane in the air?
Or is it supposed, is it just like in the soil?
Can methane be found in soil?
Probably.
If there was air pockets in the soil, they would find it.
That would make sense.
The rover has been drilling, and I think that's one of the things I guess they're looking at: whether it's a product of the rover's activity, or whether it's something that's there in the Martian environment.
I'd like to know how maybe Richard C. Hoagland is going to spin this into saying there are metal structures on Mars or some other ridiculous.
For what it's worth, I'm looking at the screen right now.
I googled it, and they're even talking about this in Forbes magazine.
So Business Magazine talked about life on Mars.
Possible life on Mars.
You know, if they found life on Mars and it were definitive and certain, I would like to think that it represents an opportunity for some sort of a mass human civilization, like a mass awakening among everybody.
But particularly, like ultra-religious people who just can't even begin to imagine that there's life anywhere else in the universe.
But those people, even if life is definitively and irrefutably found on Mars, are going to say that it's the result of Noah's big giant flood blasting water into space.
And that water got onto Mars, and now that's why you're finding microbial forms of life there.
And that's all it's going to be is they're just going to find bacteria or microbes or the husks or the result of that type of life.
I wish they would find some guy named Duke just kicking it back in a lawn chair.
He's like, what's up?
What's up, man?
Hi, everybody.
I'm Duke.
Just having a glass of lemonade, man, what the fuck took you guys so long?
Shit.
Did you bring the beer?
Imagine what it would be like if we actually did find ruins on Mars, though.
Oh, NASA would surely cover that up, though.
No, but seriously, that would be pretty mind-blowing.
It would be.
I wonder why it is that NASA is, I mean, is it true that NASA is as secretive as you hear people like Richard C. Hoagland say?
Or is that just sort of blown out of proportion?
I mean, does NASA really hide that much stuff?
That's Richard C. Hoagland's bread and butter.
Yeah, that's why he wakes up in the morning.
But I don't really consider him to be very credible.
So, I mean, just in terms of reality, I mean, does NASA really put that much flack in people's way when it comes to getting copies of photos or pieces of video?
Well, when I worked as an unpaid person at the CBS station in Las Vegas, we got tons of NASA tapes and some material when we were going to the moon.
So that stuff was available, you know, what, what's that, 40 years ago?
Were you asking for it and NASA was sending it, or were they just sending it by default?
They were sending it to radio stations and TV stations all over the country to use.
One tape I wish I still had, they let me take stuff home.
I got free records, too, is the tape where one of the astronauts says, we're sitting on top of this rocket with all this stuff built by the lowest bidder.
And that became famous.
But it was called NASA Facts, and you had these big reels of tape with interviews and discussions on what they were going to do in the Apollo program, the Mercury program, the Gemini program.
But I would remind you that there's still the thing as far as I know, and I think it's in Hoagland's book, that part of NASA's mission has also been always military.
It's not just civilian.
And there are military aspects of NASA that are not told of by to the public because they're doing secret missions up there.
Perhaps it could be said that NASA's primary mission is military in nature and that any impact on civilian consciousness or technological innovation is merely incidental.
Yeah, well, I think a lot of stuff we've gotten from NASA, these Luddites who hate the space program, there's things we've got, medical advances and technological advances, electronics and stuff that we wouldn't have today.
But I think it's—I'll go ahead. I want to— I would like to applaud Falki's use of the word Luddite.
That was excellent.
Please continue.
I don't think you can really fault people for being down on the space program these days, though, because all they do is go into space and float around in orbit.
And it's low orbit, I believe.
It's considered to be.
It's not really.
You're not going to capture the imagination of the public with that.
Well, Congress keeps cutting their budget all the time.
Obama cut the whole shuttle program for a new shuttle.
Where do you expect them to go?
They're like with a taxi cab.
They're in a curb and a taxi cabin go anywhere.
Is it true that Obama instructed NASA to make its mission to be outreach to the Islamic world?
Or is that just like right-wing blog crap?
No, there's evidence that there's actual stuff that he wanted to make out.
Why the hell he wants to go to the Islamic world with NASA unless he wants scientists to come from the Islamic world?
But that's actually out there.
It's not something they made up.
What did he say?
I don't remember.
It's been years since I've read that stuff, but it's out there.
Was it like a memo that he sent out or was it a public statement he made?
I just.
He has people, much like other people in his administration, they go out and it's like political correct stuff to outreach to communities So everybody can be one big kumbaya family, except that all the kumbaya family hate us.
They want to kill us all.
Do the rest of you guys know anything about that?
I have no clue what he's talking about.
I can imagine that, you know, you've got astronauts from all corners of the world that joined the space program and Canadian astronauts, British astronauts, Israeli astronauts.
I don't know if they've allowed any Australians into space yet.
That sounds risky.
That was a guy on the ISS a few years ago.
Did he clog up the toilet?
Yeah, I think so.
So I could see why they would want to bring in someone who was, you know, from Saudi Arabia or Iran or someplace just for egalitarian reasons, PR, all the above.
Just to show the public, look, he didn't blow the space station up.
Yeah.
You see, these people can be trusted.
That's really, it's really tragic when you think about it because there was so much like algebra was developed by people in the region that we now call Iran.
That's racist.
No, it isn't.
I'm sorry.
And so much of like higher reasoning and math and those things were brought to us by that tradition in that region.
However, when, and this might sound racist, when Islam arrived, suddenly they're plunged into a dark age and now all they do is blow shit up and kill people.
Well, that's not racist.
That's just saying Islam kind of screwed things up.
That's not a national matter.
The late John D. McDonald once said in one of his books that their society has stagnated.
They haven't done anything since around the year 1100 except to fight with each other, much less everybody else.
They did invent coffee, though.
I would like to.
Well, thank God for that.
And look what happens when you don't have a cup for a few hours.
Problems do ensue.
Yes.
By the way, my former administrator was a bellgabber.
He grows excellent coffee and excellent honey.
So I need to put that in one of my videos one day.
Is your former...
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Is your former administrator still a Belgab user?
Yeah.
Who is it?
I don't remember his handle, frankly, to be honest with you.
Was he your inside man, Falkie?
Was he the guy that was giving you all the inside information about Belgab when you were banned?
No, other people were.
It would be very easy if I were the one giving it.
I'm going to tell you something.
I'm just typing away while my wife is yelling at me to help cut onions in the background.
Falky, when you're banned from Belgab, can you not see the site?
Can you not go there at all?
No, I'm on the site.
I looked at the site all the time.
Okay.
Just see what's going on.
But mostly to look, see what they're the one thing I went on there more.
What was saying about he should get an award from somebody is a paperboy for his Nori cartoons.
Those are brilliant.
The iPad.
Those are great.
You know, Falki has been considering deleting them.
I really, that's because he's way too popular on the site.
You really should get rid of all people that are more popular than Michael Van Diemen.
He is.
Faukey, that's one.
Falki, that's one thing that you and I have in common.
We've both been banned at one point.
I think everybody's been banned at one point.
It happens.
Hey, we have a call.
Let's go ahead and take this and see what awaits.
Hi, you're on the air.
Hello.
Hi, this is White Cole again.
I'll be real quick.
Only one call, sir.
Falkie.
Yeah.
Falky, would you share with the audience, possibly, when you, your incident that you talked about when you're 11 and 12 years old?
And you're the.
You feel comfortable talking about that?
I'd have to go back to what caused that.
I ran away from home a lot.
Right, but I mean, the physical thing with your father.
My father got what he did with you.
All right, my father.
And then the running away later.
If you're comfortable, I think there'd be a lightning if you'd talk about it.
I'll hang up.
I was trying out for a little league and made it.
And my mother worked as a nurse.
She wasn't home a lot.
My dad was working at Fort Belvoir at a hotel.
I don't remember.
This is 1962 or 63.
And I was picked as a catcher, had two scouts from Washington senators because we lived in Tacoma Park, Maryland, right?
You crossed the border in Washington, D.C.
And they said, you're a good enough catcher.
When you get older, come see us.
We'll sign you to a contract.
So I was very happy with that, playing my baseball.
I love baseball.
I love football.
And came home, called my mother up.
And, you know, I said, father's not home.
And, well, he's on a rampage looking for you.
And he's all angry.
So don't let him in.
Our back door didn't lock right.
He came in drunk and took the coffee cord from the, in those days, you had a percolator.
I don't know if anybody remembers what those were.
And you had a separate cord, like you'd have a cord to the back of your Mac or your computer.
And he pulled that out and started beating me with it.
Then it said, go upstairs and take your bath.
He ran a bath of boiling hot water, punched me in the mouth, knocked me into the water, and took off.
And he kept causing problems, getting drunk, and would go across the country or go to the soldiers' home hospital when we lived in Pittsburgh in Washington, D.C.
And he took off, and my mother found me the next morning with unconscious and 80% of the blood in my body had gone out of every orifice in my body.
They took me to Walter Reed Hospital.
I spent a year and had burns all of my body and everything else.
And for the next 40 years, I had panic attacks.
And that was my parents' wedding anniversary.
I had panic attacks and screaming, and people were going to kill me.
I was terrified of the man.
And last time I saw him, he got drunk and tried to attack my mother.
And I beat the crap out of him.
I was 20 years old.
And he died a couple months later.
And I thought I had killed him and had a nervous breakdown.
So, but I was, the particular time I ran away, and it was in the San Francisco Chronicle.
He pulled a belt out and went to my bedroom in my pajamas.
I'm going to kill you, little son of bitch.
And I was sitting there reading a book at 10 o'clock at night, put my clothes on my pajamas and took off because I wasn't getting beaten again.
So what was it you kept doing to make him mad to deserve all of this?
Well, we found out later that he had a medical problem that was literally driving him insane.
And actually did that before he died.
He had emphysema when he was older.
He had smoked the vaccine.
He drank.
So they did an autopsy and his brain had rotted.
It was deteriorating.
And he went into race.
With syphilis or something?
Yeah, it was.
And he got out in the army.
That's funny.
God damn it.
I know.
George Norris's soundboard is very rude.
Go ahead, Fulkey.
He had gotten that.
It wasn't, there's a third stage al Capona to staying against Pharesis.
It's not communicable at that point, but you go insane.
So he'd get in these horrible rages and the booze didn't help any.
He'd been in the army for years and he never part of his problem is he never could relate to being a civilian.
My mother stayed with him for 26 years.
They were married for 26 years.
But so why is White Crow asking you about this?
What does he have no idea?
What does he feel that this sheds light on?
I don't know.
He just asked.
He's trolling you.
Oh, White Crow, are you trolling?
Come on.
Well, so, I mean, basically, what I mean, certainly you must have been happy to know that your dad died, so you wouldn't have to take any more shit from him, right?
Well, yes and no, because I put him in the hospital.
And so, you know, and then I didn't put him in the hospital.
He was unhealthy.
No, I took two canes.
He walked with two canes, and he tried to attack my mother, and I started beating the crap out of him.
I snapped.
Have you ever had problems with violence yourself as a result of the way you grew up with your father?
Well, the other problem, my mother was physically abusive to me, and my father was verbally abusive, and they fought a lot.
And then I found out before my mother died, yes, I know you're bored.
That her parents were.
No, no, it's not that I'm bored.
I don't think this is the forum to discuss this.
That's what I think.
Well, he asked the question.
This is not the forum to discuss this.
You don't have to answer.
You don't have to answer.
You really don't.
You don't have to answer.
But I don't know why.
I think these are important issues.
I don't know what's wrong with you people.
Oh, man.
But that was the thing.
I lived in terror all through until I was 20 and moved out.
And he died.
I went to law school for a year and a half, and I dropped out because he died.
I'd help my mother.
I don't know.
I think it's awfully suspicious that White Crow calls up to say that we're trolling you, but he asks you about this.
Don't look at me.
He joined my forum.
That's all I know.
So have you talked about this before in a public forum of any kind?
No, I've talked about it to drone.
I mean, in private?
Yeah, in private.
And so you've never made any public mention of this whatsoever.
I've got to be honest.
If I did, I don't remember it.
Huh?
Had you talked about it with White Crow?
He wrote me and asked me about it from, but I don't remember if I posted it or not.
I must have put it somewhere that he knew about it, but I'm not sure if I did or not.
I think you need to do a bit of an inventory on who your friends are and who you should be telling.
White came out of the woodwork with this in a post to my inbox on Bell Gab.
So I said, this is what happened.
And, you know, but it doesn't bother me anymore.
I just think it's very sad that the man was that tortured.
And that my mother, in her own way, was also that tortured because she'd been abused.
But are you comfortable discussing that sort of thing in a public forum, though?
Yes and no.
What's the yes part?
What's the no part?
Well, it's come out in the open.
And just now, yeah, but he asked, and I felt this is what I should say.
No, maybe I shouldn't have said that.
Do you realize?
Folkie, do you realize why he asked you that?
I mean, I think he asked you that so that you would air that dirty laundry and then people like Bardell and others can use that against you.
Well, look, they can use that against me all they want.
I don't care.
You know, he doesn't care.
I'm at the point right now.
Let them make up whatever crap they want about me.
I don't look at it.
I don't read it.
I don't watch the videos.
I don't watch the Photoshop crap.
I've got them all muted.
Are people making videos on YouTube against you?
Bardell is editing my videos and he put, you know, mayonnaise and me holding a jar of mayonnaise and Kathy with giant lips.
So yes, he's doing that stuff.
I don't know what the heck.
What the hell is that?
He thought.
I think, Falky, I think you need to stand perfectly still in all of your videos so that no animated gifs can be made of you.
That'd be a little difficult to do by moving my mouth.
Just go to a straight audio podcast format.
Well, we're going to do that.
He's already told me in the next couple of weeks after he gets all this stuff he's shipping out to God knows where.
We're talking every night.
So because he calls me up in the middle of the night while he's wrapping packages to go to Timbuktu or Ayers Rock or I don't know where the hell he sends them.
Maybe Mars for all I know.
Let's take another call here.
Hi, you're on the air.
Okay.
Yeah, sorry.
This is White Crow again.
No, no, no.
Give me the only guy that's talking.
I'm not going to hang on the phone long.
Give me a moment.
Well, you can hang as long as you like.
MV.
Yeah, MV.
Excuse me.
I got the flim tonight, too.
MV, you made the point that popular personalities share their personal life.
Right?
So that's what Falki's doing.
He's sharing his personal life.
Well, he was kind of blindsided into doing so to a degree.
Would you not agree with that?
Yeah.
Okay.
So the story about how he was when he was younger, Falki, excuse me for talking about you like you aren't here is he has 80% blood loss and dead on arrival.
I mean, that's understanding what death could do to somebody, I think, is part of Falki.
That wasn't a troll.
I think that's a very important part.
I think that's a fair point.
Falki, what do you have to say about that?
Well, there was one good thing about that.
Being in Walter Reed for a year, I got to meet Douglas MacArthur.
So he lived there at Walter Reed Army Hospital.
So that was kind of cool.
He would sit out on the lawn with his entourage, and I'd be coming out my nurse in my Army bathrobe.
And hello, General, his wife, who just died recently.
So, you know, I went out in the lawn.
Walter Reed, they've shut down Walter Reed and they moved to the Bethesda somewhere.
But, you know, 10, 11, 12-year-old kid talking to General McCarthy.
It was kind of cool.
I think the point White Crow is making is that you are a unique individual, and having gone through a major medical event of that nature perhaps could have in some way contributed to the unique nature of your personality.
That's in a nutshell what you're saying, White Crow.
Yes, one more thing, Falki.
Did you have any paranormal experiences?
The white light or anything that you when you're dead on arrival, all the body experiences on.
Oh, damn, foot.
No, it's my stupid foot.
Even just sitting here, the ankle hurts.
I've died three times and saw the light.
Pneumonia when I was five and had 107 fever.
Was at a boarding school in Legonier, and they'd rush me in a blizzard to Pittsburgh, to McGee Hospital.
My mother happened to be by coincidence, a charge nurse in the hospital that night, and I was pronounced dead.
She hadn't packed me in ice.
I was gone for three days, and I floated above the bed, saw everybody in the room, and saw the light of the tunnel.
And I knew if I went to the light, I wasn't.
I wasn't.
You said you were dead for three days.
No respiration, no pulse, no heartbeat.
She wouldn't let them put me down in the morgue.
She said, pack him in ice.
And it turns out in Europe for high fevers, that's what they did, but they didn't do it in America until years later.
She had them put me in a sit-bath, and they poured ice all over me.
And she kept checking me, and they wanted to cart me off, and she wouldn't let them.
You had no vital signs for three whole days?
Apparently, I don't know what happened.
And then when my father beat me, the same thing happened.
I left my body, went to light the tunnel.
No, I don't know if John Leary's right about heading for the dark and not the light, but I saw the light and knew if I and the thing when I was five, something told me, don't you're not ready to go to the light, go back.
You're five years old.
You don't know if I'm go back.
You know, you're a kid.
And then any other feelings or voices or messages?
Or did you feel like you could see the future after you came back?
No, some sensation told me not to go.
I wasn't ready.
But I knew after that, going back to my body, I could still sense everything around the room.
I could hear everything and I could see everything, but my eyes weren't open.
I don't know how to describe it.
It was like I was watching another channel.
We got another caller.
Hi.
Hello.
You're on the air.
Yeah, this is White Crow.
No, it's not.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, no, this is White Crow.
I have a question for Falki.
Would you pick a Windows phone or an Apple phone if you were to buy a new phone right now?
Why would he be asking me my phones?
I have an iPhone.
I have two of them.
Because I just play a Windows phone and I hate it.
You sure this is White Crow and not seven?
That sounds like the goodness.
This is White Crow.
You slipped into the phone.
I have two iPhones.
I don't know from Windows phone.
I don't know if man.
Okay, well, let me put it like this.
I bought a Windows phone, and it's terrible.
And I was listening to this podcast.
I thought I should call in and ask Michael what he thought about Windows phone and if I should keep this or throw it out the window.
Do you want me to continue playing along here?
No.
No, I want to keep hearing his voice.
The voice that he's putting on.
I really want to keep hearing him do that.
Oh, this is White Coral.
This is White Crow.
Falky, if you have anything to say to the guy that started the thread about you, this is the Mud King calling in.
This is your TK Curtis Thornton.
I had no idea who that was.
So hello.
I thought you were leaving the internet forever and going to a shack in Montana.
I am, trust me.
Really quick, I wasn't making fun of you.
I'm making fun of White Crow, so don't take that.
White Coral.
That wasn't going towards you, Falkie, because I feel really bad for the stuff that I've seen posted on the thread.
But I guess, yeah, my only claim to fame is trying to help you collect all your thoughts into one organized section.
And all it did was brought the trolls out to come after you in a totally unfair.
Curtis, you knew what you were doing.
Come on.
Come on.
Now, I have a question for MV.
It's been speculated that the number of views you get on your board, the number of posts that you get paid by every thousand posts, is that true or do you don't want to say anything on that?
I don't know if it's – hey, Curtis, what do you think about this with Google AdSense?
Is it just purely clicks or is it displays as well?
No, it's an algorithm.
Exactly.
Yeah, it's the amount of views and the clicks of a percentage of those views.
Because some spec you brought the falky thread by because it was losing your money not to have me in there.
Well, let's.
Okay, so I created the falky thread.
No, I'm talking about he removed it and then he realized that I could be making money.
It's going crazy.
Well, I will say this.
I will say this.
When I brought the thread back, that thought did not enter my mind.
However, you are correct.
The more people who use the form, the more money I make.
Yes.
So, you know, the guy who speculated that was right.
I'm not paying attention.
No, I know you're not, but I mean, even if my specific motivation were just, hey, let's get more people talking on here so that I can make it.
So what?
No, I think it's.
Are you asking for a cut here?
No, no, no.
I just pay frankly, there's 84 pages talking about me.
It's like.
I pay three cents per cough, so it's not as good a deal.
At least there's 60 pages of you being talked about there rather than the Arpel thread having 60 pages of pages at it.
That's fine.
It just boggles my mind that all these guys are posting in there.
And I wouldn't even there.
What really got me is I wasn't there for like, what, 10 months?
They're still talking about me.
And I'm going to like, hello?
I've said from the beginning, man, you're a dream maker.
And all these guys who follow you and do all this stuff, I mean, who post the pictures and everything, just think about you are the bright spot in their day somehow, you know?
They wake up every morning and they.
They probably got on their to-do list, you know, rag on falky at seven in the morning, you know.
And then what did they do for the rest of the day?
You know, what if I didn't exist?
I told little Chris, he said he bought four websites with the name Falky on them.
I said, what are you going to do if I get hit by a bus?
You got four useless websites, you know?
I got $40 in domain names and nothing to do with them now.
Why'd he die?
Remember with Lil Chris, this is the guy who backed the sexy ghost hunter, right?
Or whatever her name was.
Yeah, and she disappeared off the planet.
Their site's still there, but I don't think they're hunting any ghosts lately.
I talked to them on the phone once, by the way.
Wasn't it pretty much to everyone?
Wasn't it pretty much concluded that Lil Chris was the sexy ghost hunter?
I think so.
Yeah.
Well, what was her name?
Sarah Brestlin?
Yeah.
Yeah, but I talked to someone who sounded female to me, so unless Lil Chris is a master of disguises and her voice.
This is Lil Chris.
I mean, Sarah Brestlin.
Right, right.
Well, you know, I did talk to her.
I still have them on my Skype channel.
And I think I made about three calls to them, and they called me back.
Were they friendly calls or were you guys?
Very friendly.
There wasn't any problem with it.
And, you know, we had a nice time.
And then one day they stopped answering.
So I guess, okay, I don't know what happened.
One day they just stopped answering.
Well, I wonder what precipitated that.
Who knows?
Maybe they got, maybe something got them in the hotel in Colorado, you know.
So, you know, for all of those episodes of the spec sheet Curtis and I did, we spent so much time ragging on Windows Phone, especially me.
I think I was probably far more critical of the platform than Curtis was.
Curtis is more fair, even-handed, and injects less emotion into his assessments than I do, I think.
But I think now that you're walking around with one, you can pretty much say that all my instincts and observations pretty much were well-founded, right?
You're talking to me?
Curtis.
Oh, where's Curtis?
I don't know.
I guess he hung up.
Oh, he hung up.
Okay.
I guess he's had enough of this.
I'm starting to notice a trend of people hanging up on us.
It's someone's calling on my phone.
I don't know who the hell that is.
We're supposed to hang up on you.
You shouldn't be hanging up on us.
Okay.
Well, I guess we're not going to get any more callers.
It's about what, hour and a half?
That's a pretty long stretch for a gab cast, right?
Yeah, it is.
I hear somebody's phone ringing.
Is that yours, Falcon?
My phone in the hallway.
Oh, Curtis says his phone died.
Yeah.
See, he's using that Windows phone.
And let's just summarize and say, I was talking to Curtis the other night and he said Windows phone sucks just as bad or even harder than we made fun of it for sucking when we were doing spec sheet episodes.
He said it's like, you know how Android has the front end, which is the user interface, but it has all the back end stuff that you can drill into and the settings and all the things that you configure, can configure if you want to.
He said that Windows Phone, literally, it's just that front end, like the home screen.
And pretty much there's not very much really to drill down into from there.
And I'm just wondering, yeah, when did they give up on that?
When do they stop making these stupid Windows phones?
I don't understand why they're continuing down this path.
They probably have a warehouse of millions of shelves and Windows, so they're going to get rid of them.
They spent the money for them.
Go ahead, Jasmunda.
Yeah, Folkie, I've got one more question for you.
Is App Bell going to return?
Let's put it this way.
I will drive to Perump and bang in his door.
He should be totally content with you doing that, I'm sure.
Well, I'll talk to him first.
Okay.
Well, then you lose the element of surprise.
I don't really think that's the way to go.
Just go on down, knock on the door, explain to him that you're a longtime listener.
You're his ghost fan.
And you're from Belgab.
Make sure to tell him that you're from Belgab, too.
He will totally invite you in for tea and what have you.
Sent emails back.
Okay, your audio's crapping out anyway.
It happened at just the right time anyway because the show's over.
Thanks to everybody listening in the chat room live.
I hope you've enjoyed tonight's broadcast.
I know I have, and I know everybody else has as well.
I'll just speak for everybody.
It's been wonderful all around.
Thanks to Jasmunda, B-Dub, Eddie Dean.
B-Dub left the show a long time ago, by the way.
He just got so disgusted with the whole premise that he walked away.
He abandoned a broadcast right in the middle of the show.
That's, I don't know.
For a paid radio host, I'm not sure that's the most professional behavior.
I'm really not.
Might have to talk to Docus Pay this week.
So thanks to everybody.
You guys have a good night.
Thanks, Falkey, for being here.
And maybe one day we'll do this again.
And now that the WAD has finally been blown, if you ever hear again, we'll just talk about stuff instead of talking about you, which is kind of what I wanted tonight, but it just didn't work out that way, you know?
And Folkie, throw that Mayo jar away.
Okay.
That's it.
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