All Episodes
Previous Next
May 12, 2014 - GabCast Bellgab.com
54:51
12 May, 2014

12 May, 2014

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
The Gabcast, a podcast about bellgab.com.
Visit ufoshift.com for live streaming and chat.
You shouldn't have that.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to the Gabcast.
Wow, I can't hear myself.
Can you guys hear me?
Yeah, I hear you.
Where was our intro music?
Oh, you guys don't even hear the intro music.
Ah, see, I knew I was messing up somewhere.
Okay, let me bring that up for you guys so you can hear it.
All right, I'll pay my rent on time next month.
Come on.
There we go.
We are so professional tonight.
Welcome to the Gabcast, everybody.
I'm Eddie Dean.
We've got Onan Jasmunda and B-Dub with us tonight.
If you guys like to call the show and speak with us, the number is 623-242-2278.
Again, that's 623-242 CAST.
This is the, what is it, May 12th version of the Gabcast.
How is everybody tonight?
Hello.
Doing good.
I also want to mention that if you guys are Skype users and like to call in, our Skype name is the.gabcast.
And you can get through to us that way.
Don't call the butthurt.
Ooh, do we have a butthurt?
A Gabcast butthurt?
Skype.
We need one.
We do now.
Okay.
I'm just messing with some knobs here because I can't hardly hear myself.
That's what brings you on the butthurt.
So I felt like I was yelling into the microphone.
Anyway, this is a podcast about Bellgab.com and various other musings from just a bunch of regular guys, Bellgab users, I suppose.
And my question to you guys is, Bellgab seems to change.
It seems to be changing into something else, which is not unusual, I suppose.
But have you guys noticed any changes, any slowdowns, any strange vibes from the forum lately?
Yeah, it's a different person today than it was two years ago.
You know, it's because the people that are posting now aren't the same ones.
I got used to the original Coast Gab and things have kind of evolved.
And sometimes you got to change your attitudes.
Yeah, that's true.
You never, I mean, if you leave the forum for a couple months and come back, it seems like it's completely different because there's people that sign up and when they first sign up, they post a lot for a week or two and then they disappear completely.
So and then there's the, you know, the longtime members that sometimes get annoyed with some new members and take a vacation from Bellgab for a while, which I've done several times.
I did it last year for, I think, almost a month.
And I haven't been on the forum posting or even lurking that much in the past week.
And I was just curious about what you guys thought about that.
I took a break, I don't know, a long time ago now.
My wife got really sick.
And all of a sudden, all this stuff just didn't really seem all that important.
And then she got better.
It's like, okay, now this shit's important again.
Yeah.
So sometimes it's kind of taxing.
Sometimes it's not as fun as we remember it, you know?
I agree with that.
You know, it's, you know, it's like chasing the dragon.
You know, what it originally was will never be.
And I'm sure that people that are posting now that are newer find it much more engaging than us, than those of us who have been here a long time.
I don't know.
I'm to a point where somebody will post something and I'll think, fuck, I responded to that, you know, a year and a half ago.
I don't want to take the energy to do it again.
Yeah.
So.
Did we lose B-Dub and Jasmunda?
Are you guys still there?
I'm here.
I'm just listening to you guys talk.
Okay.
No, I had to attend to something.
I'm back.
Jasmine.
Getting on your gardener again, weren't you?
Yeah.
You oldest day laborer.
So do you, B-Dub or Jasmine, do you guys have anything to say about that topic?
I missed the start of the topic, so I don't know what we're talking about.
And I'm not going to tell you either.
I don't want to do a George Norrie and just read off my cards.
Have you guys watched that old TV show called Twilight Zone?
Remember?
That is correct.
William Shandler was in a plane getting scared.
Scared.
There must be something appealing to the longtime members to stick around on Belgab.
You know, I mean, it's got to be entertaining in some capacity for people to stick around and for Bell Gab to be as popular and around as long as it has been.
Yes?
Well, for me, it was always about art and the whole question of whether he was going to come back or not come back.
And I think we're in a period now where, you know, we're just waiting.
So for me, yeah, there's not much to talk about.
And I mean, the threads that sort of kept me around have sort of been overtaken by some people who weren't very nice.
So I've taken a bit of a step back.
A bit of butthurt.
I hear you there.
What?
You mean there's not nice people on the internet?
No.
Hard to believe, isn't it?
Wow.
I thought the internet was meant to be a nice, fluffy, cloudy place.
For all of us to play nicely together.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sad to disappoint you guys, but, you know, it is easy to get butthurt sometimes.
When you take yourself, I mean, I was taking myself way too seriously several weeks ago, and everything I read and everything that happened, I'm like, fuck that guy.
God damn it.
I mean, I was just, I was pissed off at everything.
And when you lose your humor and, you know, your real life kicks you in the balls, then it's hard to take jokes, you know, or a tongue-in-cheek joke or, you know, somebody who was just messing around, you think they're being serious.
You know, it's easy to get butthurt on the internet.
Go ahead.
Even people that have a diametrically opposed viewpoint.
My benchmark now is if I walk out of my den and my first response is to be angry at my wife, I need to really start redirecting what I'm doing because, you know, some people's opinions, I shouldn't let them be that important to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A bunch of strangers on the internet shouldn't ruin your day.
You know, and anybody anywhere, why would you give anyone that much control?
Like someone that you don't you psychoanalyze me, you bitch.
And if I really wanted to psychoanalyze you, I would say that you're lashing out at me is a symptom of your butt hurt.
So don't go there.
But seriously, why would you, why would you allow someone to impart butt hurt on you just for whatever reason?
I heard someone make a comment about that movie 28 Days Later.
I don't know if this was intentional on the part of the filmmakers or not, but he said he thought that watching that movie made him think that it was just kind of a metaphor for how people just bring their bullshit to everyone else's party.
You know, how the zombies would like puke all over each other and then you'd get infected.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's similar to what happens when people with shitty attitudes.
Anyway, Maurice just posted that the trolls are all losers.
I have a new hero.
Well, Cat Smile also said that just don't feed the trolls or they win.
But it's hard not to.
I know.
It's hard not to.
It is hard to keep from calling them cunts and assholes.
But you just really go ahead.
There's been a couple of times where I've seen them and I'm like, oh, that's just a troll post.
I'm not going to respond.
I'm not going to respond.
And then like four other people respond and Jazzmoon does one of them like, God damn it.
I was going to say that.
And do you know how many times I've started writing a post and then deleted it?
Oh, wow.
I've had a mini thesis several times.
Oh, fuck it.
I'm not going to post it.
I've just spent a half an hour writing it.
I've gone so far as actually posting it and then walking away and then coming back five minutes later, rereading it and going, oh, you know, I really don't want to put that up there and I'll delete it.
Yeah, I've done that.
I did that last night, actually.
Yeah, I think I did that like three times this week.
And I didn't really post that often.
So, yeah.
Well, thank you to MV for allowing such a long window of time to be able to edit or delete your post because most forums don't allow you to do that.
You know, it used to be back in the Coast Gab days when Bellgab.com was CoastGab.com.
I think the allowance was five minutes.
What was that all of six months ago?
Yeah.
At least six months.
Back in the old days, I remember you couldn't delete a post.
You had to get up in there and do that immediately to get it right the first time.
They didn't have this fancy delete button.
I think it's been all over the place.
I seem to remember where there was a real long period of time to edit a post.
And then there was a notification that you went in and edited your post.
So I'd have this post and there'd be like, Only went back in to edit this.
And it'd be like five of those.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I'm a bit too handle, I think.
Yeah, if you go back and look at the terms of service threat on Bellgab, I think in there, you can see when it was when, well, when MV increased it from five minutes to half an hour, and then I think you went from half an hour to an hour, which is which is good.
But and yeah, there used to be those edit things at the bottom of your post that showed when you edited it.
Edited it.
That's a hard word to say.
Edited it.
Edited Eddie Dean.
Edited it.
Is that right?
Edited it your post.
George is laughing at me.
I know of having problems when George is laughing at my speech.
There's no way he would be able to say that.
Yeah, he wouldn't understand the concept.
How would he douche that up?
Edwarded it.
I'm not sure.
Eduardo, how are you?
He might say something like goatsy.
You might go see it up.
I don't know.
Let's see.
What else do we want to talk about tonight?
The let's see.
Oh, you know what?
Somebody posted something about Premiere, and I don't think this is a secret, and I don't think this is a new thing, but Premiere Radio, and I suspect other huge radio conglomerates are doing this practice as well as hiring people to call in to be plants on the various radio shows to either stir up the other callers to call in,
be controversial or be angry, and to help the host and the show have more input from the callers.
Did you guys see that?
I missed it.
I mean, I've heard of paid callers before, but I missed that post.
You know, it seems like if you're listening to like a political talk show, you get the most calls when people are pissed off or angry, you know, or there's a controversial subject.
People tend to want to call more when they're pissed off, you know?
That's twisted, isn't it?
It is.
It's just human nature, I suppose.
I think we need to do it for our show.
You think we could hire somebody?
Do we have the funds for that?
Does Tankco?
I think Tanko would cover that one.
You think so?
I do.
I believe they would.
Yeah.
So if somebody would like to get paid to call a Gapcast, the number 623-242-2278, of course, we're kidding, but no, we're not.
Burritos.
I'm trying to piss people off.
Okay, start yelling and screaming.
I don't have the energy for that.
Well, speaking of plants, do we think that one of Art Bell's famous callers, JC, was he a plant?
I always thought so.
Because I've been listening now to in the Torrent file that we were talking about last week, one of the files is a JC calls file, and it's all of his calls from, I think, 1996 to into the late 2000s.
And so you actually hear the genesis of him, his first couple of calls.
And I don't think he was an Art Bell plant, but the question is, was he really a Bible-thumping, you know, Douchebard called Douche Magic?
Or was he or was it all an act?
Because he is.
He's either some type of preacher who can just get up there on his soapbox and preach, or he's a very witty, funny guy because he was very quick with some of the things that came out of his mouth.
Yeah, he was.
Well, I've heard people say that that was probably the work of Phil Hendry.
I don't know.
I'm not by any means an authority.
However, I'd be inclined to think that maybe in the beginning it was real and then they just turned it into a bit.
But honestly, I have no idea.
I thought it was an intentional satire originally that somebody just had an axe to grind against fundamentalist Bible thumpers.
So they made this outlandish character that nobody would really like.
And I thought it worked.
But as time went on, I don't know.
I kind of lost track.
But I did hear the JC on Nuri's show, and I didn't think it was the same guy.
Maybe it was.
It didn't sound quite the same to me.
Yeah, there's that school of thought that somewhere along the line, he morphed into somebody else, that someone took up the reins and started calling in as JC.
Because, yeah, I agree.
There is a time when it sounds like him.
It's someone doing a very good impression.
But whether it's actually him or not, I don't know.
And then maybe he was a George Norrie plant.
Well, because Norrie doesn't have the, you know, the gravitas to, maybe that's not really the right word to use, but Norrie doesn't say anything that's offensive, you know, except that he's really stupid.
What?
Yeah.
So, I mean, when JC called the Art Bell program, there was a challenge involved.
Yes, yeah.
And with Nouri, not so much.
Well, that's why I think it was just a plan.
It was just a bit of entertainment for the show.
Someone was agreeing to it, you know.
I would agree.
Yes.
Thanks, George.
Yeah, he did morph into, if you listen to the early calls, he wasn't quite as charismatic, and you can really hear his character develop, you know, the character that was JC.
Yeah, and I don't believe that was a real person.
No, I don't think that's a good idea.
It wasn't really JC, you know, the Bible thumper.
And you're going to send everybody into the pits of the sewage.
The pits of hell.
Yeah.
Boiling piece of sewage.
I don't think anybody really has that tonal quality to their voice.
I could be wrong.
You guys remember in the Dark Matter show, I think it was the Open Lines show that Art did.
Somebody called in and said, hello, Mr. Bale.
And Bill was like, oh, God, here we go.
And, you know, and the guy was just screwing around.
But he fooled Art, and he fooled a lot of people on the forum, too.
Yeah.
I thought it was JC.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think we all did on the, I don't know which one was it.
The Open Lines one.
Yeah, I think that's what it was.
Didn't he call it?
JC did call in one not.
Yeah, but Art didn't give him much time.
It was when a guest was on, and I think it was late during one of the shows, and I don't remember which show it was, but he did call, but it was kind of a flop.
You know, it wasn't the classic JC.
You mean to tell me that Norrie couldn't turn the call from JC into a radio magic?
Radio shocked.
Another shocked and appalled.
Aldous says that Jazz Munda is actually JC.
And I remember him.
How dare you?
How dare you?
I can't do it in an Australian accent.
Know your judo well.
Yes.
How dare get your hands off me.
Get your hands off me.
I'll die.
I love that clip, man.
Somebody commented on that clip or that video in the Dark or Art Bell Quits Dark Matter thread.
And everything's been posted there for, what, three or four months?
Yeah, probably.
Oh, I did see it.
Yeah, somebody was just commenting on how much they enjoyed it.
I agree.
Hey, Jazz, did you ever do the drinking game, the Art Bell drinking game, during the Dark Matter stint?
No, we sort of started drafting some rules to the drinking game.
And it wasn't more so a drinking game.
It was more, if you're a longtime listener of Art Bell, there are many things that he mentions constantly over and over again.
And I just thought it'd be fun to morph that into a drinking game.
And some examples are whenever he mentioned his never-to-be-spoken of Ouija board experiment.
The mentioning of his UFO experience.
I mean, how many times over the years have we heard that story relayed?
Mentioning of his one-time precognitive experience where that guy hit his car.
He often mentions his out-of-body experience in Paris, his mention of the origin story of Pizza Punch.
He often mentions.
I'm going to stop you right there because I don't know the background of Pizza Punch.
I need somebody to tell me, fill me in on where the Pizza Punch thing came and how that came about.
I think the story of the Pizza Punch is he and his wife, Ramona, were in Paris somewhere and they either ordered some pizza or a pasta and there was some sauce that was put on it or some dressing or something over whatever they were eating.
And they either managed to get the recipe off the guy or I think Art even said that his wife was so good at being able to tell what ingredients were in something that when they got home they were able to replicate it and that was the origin of the pizza punch.
And this stuff could go over any pizza, pasta, any sort of meal and could give it a bit of a punch.
Even steak.
Try it?
I never tried it.
I wanted to buy it when remember they released the Art Bell's Pizza Punch.
Did anyone ever buy that?
Anyone in the chat room?
Onan, did you say you did?
I did not.
No.
Oh, you did not?
Yeah, I didn't even know that it was a real product until Jesus Now.
Yeah, it really was.
Yeah, there was an Art Bell Pizza Punch.
I don't know if it's still out there or not, though.
No, I've looked.
Oh, really?
Probably wouldn't want to buy an old bottle on eBay and try to taste it.
Because I'm guessing that was in the 90s.
Yeah, sort of.
The Pizza Punch may have even been in the 2000s.
I'm not sure.
Really?
So during the Art Bell drinking game, is all those things that you mentioned, is that one drink or is that, how do you work that out?
Well, I don't think we ever came up with hard and fast rules, whether it was a shot or a drink or a finish a glass type of thing.
It was more just of a reminiscing about the old Art Bell stories that we heard over and over again.
And we thought with Art Coming Back, have these rules out there so that if we're listening and we hear the Princeton egg experiment mentioned or the mass consciousness experiments that scared him off and stopped him from doing it, the mentioning of any of his cats, the Lear test, the go-to-the-light or the dark story, the fact that he was born in Camp Lejeune.
If ever he played the sounds of hell or the Bigfoot scream, that's another one.
The Sounds of Hell is Mel's Hole, right?
No, Sounds of Hell is not Mel's Hole.
The Sounds of Hell was in Russia.
Apparently, there was an AP story where they dug the deepest hole that's ever been dug somewhere in Siberia, and they put down a microphone into it, and the Sounds of Hell was the sounds that emanated from this hole.
You know, that's bullshit.
That's how George Nori got discovered.
Yes.
That's how they discovered the troll George Nori.
Yeah.
How are you?
Oh, wait.
What about the Bigfoot scream?
Was that legit, or is that just two skeeters out in the boonies?
Yeah, they're just two rednecks out in the woods screaming at each other.
Well, you know, those jackasses on Finding Bigfoot seem to think it's real because they do that shit all night.
Yeah, they do.
It's annoying as hell, too.
What they go out into the bills and do the Bigfoot goals.
You know, that show would be a lot better if they added a laugh track.
I've always said that George Norrie's show would sound better with a laugh track.
Wait, I think I smell a Bigfoot.
No, really, I do.
Yeah, it would be a lot better with the laugh track.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
But yeah, there are many other, many other things from Mel's Hull to the Madman Markin story to, I mean, he often talked about his fall from a telephone pole when that was the genesis of all his back troubles.
Also, he mentioning any Crane.
Damn it, he burned a pole.
Also, he mentioning any Sea Crane products that, but not as a commercial.
That was always a big one.
Does Sea Crane advertise anyplace else except for their bell shell?
Do they advertise on Coast to Coast with Nori?
I don't know.
They also advertise on the inside of Matchbook covers in Russia.
Do they?
Yes.
They don't seem like a very legitimate company to me.
You know, I bought one of their products.
It was the FM transmitter, where you could hook up whatever and transmit it across some AM or FM frequency.
And it didn't work worth a hell.
But there's a lot of people on Bellgab that said that they have several of them and they work great and they love them.
I bought the Wi-Fi, the device that picks up Wi-Fi signals and strengthens it.
The extenders, yeah.
Not the extender.
This is something that finds weak Wi-Fi signals and makes them more accessible to you.
And mine works great.
Really?
Yeah.
You know, it doesn't strengthen the Wi-Fi signal, but it's able to pick it up.
Without using it, I can pick up three Wi-Fi signals from neighbors around me.
When I put that in there, I go up to like eight Wi-Fi nodes that I can pick up on.
So you can jump on your neighbor's Wi-Fi or is it locked?
Well, most of them are secure, but you know that they're out there.
It just shows you more.
It's obviously got a better reach to find more.
You know, if you live in an apartment complex, it'd be something that would probably be pretty valuable because, you know, a lot of people have Wi-Fi and they don't have it secured.
Yeah, my next-door neighbor for years and years had an unsecured wireless, and I used to download all my TV shows off there.
I haven't even used my computer this month, and I've got an 8K bill.
What's going on?
I'm sure that happened.
Did they ever find out, Jazz?
I don't know.
Eventually, they either moved or secured their wire.
They went bankrupt.
So if they would have confronted you, Jazz, would you have fessed up or would you have lied through your teeth?
Well, I could also, I probably would have lied.
I don't know how they would have known, but I also could have got access to their computer.
That's how unsecured their network was.
And I was thinking of dumping a whole lot of horse porn on their computer.
Horse porn.
Here in an Australian saying horse porn as funny as well.
My external hydrive is already full of that, sir.
So it'd be a waste of time.
Yeah.
Oh, great.
Horse porn.
And I'm going to think about that the rest of the night.
Thanks so much.
You guys want to move on to the dreams, the consciousness?
I was noticing that Zeebo a couple weeks ago was saying that he wanted us to talk about our dreams or talk about lucid dreaming or consciousness and how that works with the dreams.
And I know, Onin, you have some knowledge about the consciousness and how the brain works in regards to dreaming.
Well, I just muted myself because I banged my microphone and didn't want to bother anyone.
But now that it's stable again, I don't, you know, consciousness is a, you know, that's a pretty hard thing to nail down.
Dreams, you know, I don't want to get too boring about it, but, you know, basically the way dreams work is that, you know, when you're asleep, at some point, some electrical signal will start in the back of your brain in the stem or the ponds area, and it will transfer that information to the amygdala,
and that's where emotions get laid into it.
And then depending on what kind of emotion or what kind of thought is generated, it will go to different areas of processing in the brain, all of which turns into a dream.
So each thing that happens in your dream, let's say you're in a dream and you lose your teeth, that's not a cookie-cutter explanation for every single person.
You know, like they have people on Costa Costa that are dream interpreters and they have books and, you know, they're selling all sorts of stuff, but they have people call in and tell them about the dreams and the lady or the guy tells them exactly what it means.
And I always thought that was kind of bullshit because each person has their own definition of, you know, of what happens to them.
Not to mention that, you know, if you take cross-cultural studies, what a tooth means to you symbolically is something different to somebody who's in Argentina.
Or even in closer associations, how someone perceives something in Georgia as opposed to how someone perceives something in New York can be significantly different, especially in something that is as emotionally tinged.
And generally speaking, when we're asleep, the rational side of our brain really kind of goes to sleep.
But the emotional side kind of plays in.
It's why when most people are dreaming, they seem to have little control over what goes on in their dream.
They're just kind of a participant that gets bounced around.
And that's because there's not really a lot of logic assumed to it.
So I kind of went off on a tangent there and forgot what your question was.
I did too.
I don't know what my question was either.
I saw that somebody posted, I think WR250 posted something about scientists are looking into being able to have participants control their dreams through electrical stimuli.
I saw something about that today on the news.
I didn't have the time to really read into it.
So I don't know.
To be able to have like a lucid dream, meaning that you recognize while you're dreaming, you recognize your dreaming and you'll be able to control it in some fashion or some capacity.
Yeah, you know, I have no doubt that lucid dreaming to some degree works because, you know, our brains are learning machines.
So we can really kind of train ourselves to do quite a few things.
I'm not really sure what that means because even if you are able to, you know, kind of be an active participant in your dreams, I'm not really sure what the benefit of that is other than, you know, your dreams probably have a little better ending.
Do they help in like relieving stress or something?
Oh, that's debatable.
There are people that would argue that spending too much time in dreams, which is really one of the prominent thoughts about dreaming is it's kind of the street cleaner of your brain.
And that while you're sleeping, the brain's kind of working to get rid of all the detritus.
So I don't know.
When you say detritus, are we talking about like stray neurochemicals or compounds?
Are you just like in a metaphysical way?
It could be both.
I don't know.
I don't think you do or whatever.
I don't think there's any kind of liver function to the brain.
So I'm assuming it's more.
Except liver function.
But it's not filtering your thoughts, is it?
Well, I guess it is in some capacity.
Well, that would be the frontal cortex is effectively acting as a kind of filter.
That's where some of the higher reasoning and also that's kind of asleep during most of your dreaming states.
My bad.
It doesn't matter that parts of the cerebral cortex aren't activated because that's kind of where any amount of structure in your dream is processed.
And I don't know.
You know, past this point, it's all really just conjecture.
Jazz, you've made, you actually started a thread about dreaming a couple weeks ago on Bell Gab.
Yeah, because what prompted that?
It's just, what prompted, I actually heard an Art Bell show where he was talking about that, and this was in the early days of the internet, where he was asking, you know, he wanted a dream registry to be put up on the internet.
And primarily because he was getting a lot of people having supposedly prophetic dreams.
And he thought that if there was some dream registry up there on the internet, we could maybe perhaps see a pattern in that.
Now, I don't particularly believe that, but I always have an interest in dreams.
I would love to know how to be able to control my dreams because every time I dream, it doesn't matter how fantastical things are within the dream.
I never realize that I'm dreaming.
I mean, anything could be happening.
I could be, you know, jumping over buildings.
My house could be some mansion type house.
But while I'm dreaming, I don't realize that this isn't my house or this isn't my job or this isn't what I should be doing or why am I in a bathtub with this beautiful woman?
So I never realize that I'm living in a bathtub with ugly people.
Exactly.
So, you know, dreams fascinate me and I'd love to be able to control it because anytime that I actually realize that I am dreaming, I'm awake within a few seconds.
So, I mean, I would love to be able to control my dreams.
I tried to train myself to do just that, to be able to recognize I was dreaming and to be able to control it.
But it takes a long time.
And what you have to do is you have to be conscious of your outside world.
When you're walking around during the day, you just make it a point to ask yourself, is this real?
And try to, I think somebody said something about counting your fingers or trying to look at minute details to see if they make sense in the world that you're in.
And you keep doing that over and over and over again, asking yourself, is this real?
Am I in a dream?
Is this real life?
And you do that for months and months on end or I don't know however long.
And eventually you'll start applying that to your dream because your brain is basically, you basically programmed your brain to constantly assess and ask questions about your surroundings.
And when you see a faceless person approaching you or walking away in whatever capacity in your dreams, then you can question that and say, hey, that's not real.
This is a dream and go from there.
And I tried that, but of course I wasn't completely successful.
I've never been able to recognize that I was actually in a dream.
We should issue a warning, though, if you're a young earth creationist and you do this, your cosmology is going to explode.
So use caution.
I think that's the quickest way to go to the nuthouse if you start questioning.
Is this real?
Is this real?
Do I really just poop?
I don't believe I actually pooped.
That's just in my mind.
You don't do it out loud.
You just to yourself.
You walk around everybody's mouth.
Are you real?
Excuse me, sir.
I don't think mumbling to yourself is going to help the situation.
Pardon me, but I was just wondering if I could come up and feel you up so I can confirm that I am not, in fact, hallucinating.
Can you pinch me?
Those are real titties.
This is not a dream.
Yeah, I don't think you're meant to pinch other people's breasts when trying to determine whether you're awake or asleep.
Fucking rules.
Jesus.
What's wrong with this society?
Boundaries.
Boundaries.
We are going to take a break right now, and we will be back right after this.
Attention, users of Tainco's handsome gentleman's mustache wax and diesel engine degreaser.
If you've experienced any of the following symptoms, you may be entitled to compensation.
Lazy conversation syndrome, droopy upper lip disorder, slurred speech, Korsakov's made-up word sickness, grandiose douche complex.
Additionally, if people come and you ask you questions like, hey, are you some kind of fucking idiot?
Or are you a retard?
Or have you had severe brain injury?
Then you may be entitled to compensation.
Contact the law offices of Skeeter, Daryl, and Daryl at 1-888-555-B-U-T-T extension H-U-R-T to find out if you are eligible for compensation and how you could file a claim.
This offer does not apply to George Norrie, as that guy just really, really, really sucks.
I mean, like big time sucks.
That's quite a fix you got there, son.
I believe I can help.
Hi, I'm Skater from the law offices of Skater Daryl and Daryl.
Let us worry about all that legal rigamaro and stuff.
That's why I sent off of that law degree from that school in the Caribbean.
If you're all jacked up and stuffed by rubbing industrial solvents on your face that you thought was a mustache wax, contact us now.
You do have rights.
Let us worry about all that legal type stuff.
Skater Darrell and Daryl are not real horses.
They're not bar certified.
They're just posing as advocates in a money-making scheme.
You know, honesty, they're a total idiot.
Nobody should actually call Skeater Daryl and Daryl unless you are kin to sexy air for fun and entertainment purposes only.
Wow.
Our sponsor seems to be in some legal trouble there, huh?
Yeah, well, I find it curious that our two sponsors are actually acting against each other in a manner of speaking.
Yeah, money's money.
Nice job, B-W.
That was funny as hell.
Yeah, that was funny.
Yeah, good job, man.
Yep.
What else is on the list tonight, guys?
What else would you like to talk about?
Oh, if you guys would like to call in and talk to us, the number is 623-242-2278.
Again, that's 623-242-CAST.
Anything interesting happening in the chat room?
Absolutely nothing.
We have like 20 people in there.
Yeah, that's like the most uninteresting people on earth are in our chat room right now.
That's probably more us than them.
Yeah, I think we're generating that uninteresting aspect.
Somebody asked, I think it was scrolling back through Purple Sherple about sleep paralysis and why he still grinds his teeth.
That's because the aliens keep fucking him in the ass.
Yeah.
That's why he grinds his teeth.
Well, I'm not sure what that means, but okay.
Sleep Aetonia is generalized and isn't always complete, for lack of a better word.
I mean, if you had total muscular paralysis, then your heart would stop and you wouldn't breathe.
So it's probably more along about your limbs that are paralyzed than any other part of your body.
Yeah, because if you're able to emulate during your dream, you would hurt, you'd fuck yourself up.
Yeah.
Beat the hell out of whoever's sleeping next to you.
And along, well, you know, that actually does happen, although rare.
There are people that don't lose their muscle rigidity or don't have muscle rigidity, and they have a panic dream and they end up beating the shit out of somebody.
There's actually a couple of cases over the last 20 years where people committed murder.
During sleep?
Yeah.
But another interesting thing is when you sleepwalk, normally when people sleepwalk, it's not during the dreaming phase.
It's actually during the deeper sleep phase.
Are those called alpha when you're in alpha?
You know, it's delta, theta, beta, and alpha, I think, and I don't remember which one's which.
You know, I used to sleepwalk a lot when I was a kid and early adult in my 20s, late teens and early 20s.
There was a time when I was sleeping at my grandma's house, and I woke up in the middle of the night, and I was standing up.
Of course, it was pitch black.
I was standing up against a wall, and I didn't know where I was.
And obviously, I'd gotten up and was walking around in my sleep, and I woke up, and I was startled.
I didn't know where the hell I was.
I was feeling around on the walls, and that would be fucking scary.
Yeah, and trying to find a light switch.
And yeah, it was creepy.
And, you know, I've had girlfriends tell me that I get up and walk around when I'm asleep.
I even woke up one night.
I was having a dream that I was taking a dump on the toilet.
And at that time, I had a circular metal trash can.
You know, the circumference was about the same as a toilet bowl.
And I woke up and I was taking a dump inside of that trash can.
And thus concludes this week's poop story.
Tune in next week when everybody, tell us your poop stories.
Come on.
We had to get the poop story in because I know Jazz doesn't have any this week.
Yeah, I'm glad I'm not the only one on this show to admit that he uses the bathroom.
Yes.
In trash cans while you're asleep.
Oh, the shame.
The deep, deep shame of it all.
No, I've had dreams that I was taking a leak and wake up and had to run to the bathroom, you know.
Hey, has anyone ever done that trick where you take someone who's sleeping and put their hand in like a warm bowl of water?
You know, because I don't usually have sleepover parties with 12-year-old girls.
Really?
Well, you should try it.
I think that's what the charges say.
Oh, God.
No, I've always heard that that works or doesn't work.
I don't know.
I've never tried it.
I'm sure.
Maybe someone could call in and tell us, call us.
What's this?
I don't know.
What's the psychology or medical reason for that?
I will tell you.
Okay.
You know, you go ahead.
Do you tell me why that would happen?
I will tell you that when I was in the army, going back many, many years ago.
Oh, my God.
I had no idea you were in the army, man.
I'm shocked.
A guy I know took a hot dog and rubbed it against a guy's lips that was asleep.
And once he woke up, the guy was holding his dick in his hand.
It didn't end well.
Oh, man.
Don't ask, don't tell.
Wait a minute.
The guy was dreaming that someone rubbed a hot dog on his lips.
There was a guy who was asleep.
Another fellow rubbed a hot dog around his lips until he woke up.
As he awoke, he saw this guy standing there holding his penis.
Oh, I saw the other guy, the guy.
Oh, yes.
You know your judo well, whoever did that prank.
So, what did the guy do that had the hot dog rubbed on his lips?
Once he awoke, he thought it was the guy's dick.
What did he do?
Beat the shit out of him?
He was going to put somebody down.
Yeah, and in the military, you have guns, don't you?
Well, they're locked away.
Yes, that is true.
You are given guns in the military.
Wow, that's strange.
Yeah, that's a pretty good prank.
I like that.
Zebo just asked, how can your brain create places you've never seen?
Well, the same way an artist creates a painting of some place that's, you know, not real.
You know, imagination is a great thing.
Yeah.
Same thing about authors and writers writing about fantastic lands that don't exist in this world.
Yeah, or like me trying to get laid.
Some things just never happen.
Some things are just totally implausible.
Like it, like it.
Hey, how about that?
I saw somebody posting in the GabCast thread that there's some Google books out there that they accidentally changed the word arm to the word anus in a bunch of different books or in a couple books.
Yeah, I think it had to do with the actual font of the text when it was they scan it into to digitize it.
Yeah.
So the actual technology, what's it called?
OCR is how they, whatever they do just to scan it and recognize text, it's changed the word arms to anus, correct?
Yes.
Yes.
Anus.
Yes.
And obviously the results are quite hilarious.
Yes.
Do you have some examples perhaps that you might like to read us, Jasmoon?
Yes.
Some of those strange sentences.
I believe we do.
If you just give me a moment.
I wasn't totally prepared.
Oh, did I spring this on?
Yeah, no, no, no, no.
I've got it up now.
I got the sexy music already.
Sexy.
All right.
I don't know what the source of this book is, but I'll read you a passage from two books.
Okay.
When she spotted me, she flung her anus high in the air and kept them up until she reached me.
Matisse, oh boy, she said.
She grabbed my anus and positioned my body in the direction of the East Gallery and we started walking.
That was number one.
Number two.
Mrs. Neville.
No, sorry.
Mrs. Nevin.
Number two, pardon the expression.
Sorry.
Mrs. Neville, in an exquisite emotion, threw her anus around the neck of Caroline, pressed her with fervor to her breast.
That actually works quite well.
And some of the other funny things are just, these are just two little quotes.
One of them is took him in her anus and wound her anus.
Nice.
You can imagine there are quite wound her anus around him.
So those are.
I'm going to hold you in my anus forever, never.
These are from books and usually from older style books as well.
So making it even more hilarious.
I imagine that's quite shocking for an old lady that checks out, you know, that I'm going to try this Google book thing and read.
It should never be the same.
Her anus did what?
What in the world is this book about?
But I was in the gym.
Did I write any other books?
Yeah.
I was in the gym yesterday and I was lifting some heavy weights and today my anus is so sore.
So I don't know what one.
So would one of you guys like to take this lotion and rub it into my anus for me?
No, no, thanks.
So I think from now on, there should actually be some type of technology on Belgab that when you write in the word arms, it immediately changes it to anus.
And I think Belgab will be better off for it.
That would be funny.
You might have a point.
Go back and read old posts that have the word arms.
Do you have any of those, Jaz?
I do.
I do.
I just have to find.
Maybe I'll find one from one of us.
I did see a post from Onan earlier that had the word arms in it.
So I'm just going to try and.
I'm meant to type anus.
I have the right to bear anus.
So.
Keep my anus.
Keep and bear my anus.
There's one from Onin in the guest request thread.
Oh, actually, sorry.
I apologize.
It's not actually.
Onan was quoting someone, and that's where it came up.
Darn.
Darn.
I should have done my research better.
Oh, well.
So, can you read the sentence, or is it completely not anyhow because of that?
Would only be funny if it was actually Onan.
But I have found...
Oh, no.
What about Nori?
Did Nori say anything about arms?
Norrie didn't say something about it.
Yes, he did, actually.
He did say something.
I have to find it.
I know this is riveting radio.
Let's all sit around and let Jazz search Belgab for the word arm.
There was a, in the George Norrie Sucks thread, apparently one night George was talking about Vladimir Putin with a naked chest straddling a horse.
And George said that, and this was quote from George, he said about Vladimir Putin that he's pretty well toned through the chest and anus.
He's been pumping for him.
He's been pumping for a long time.
Oh, dear.
Rage story.
I rest my face.
Oh.
I would agree.
I would agree.
No.
Oh, man.
That is really funny.
I wonder if what other words would be similar that could get changed in the Google scanning software.
Truck.
Truck to fuck.
Yeah, that might work.
Yeah.
I'm wondering if there's ever a time where Nori has spoken on air and he said a word that phonetically would contain the word anus and that we could sample that and use it to ruin him.
Heinous, but that might be too much of a complicated word.
It has that kind of vocabulary.
Yeah.
That seems unlikely.
So chameleon, if you can find George saying the word heinous and making us a nice sound clip, that'd be much appreciated.
You would get much Sphinctinex in your mail.
Free Sphinctinx samples for Chameleon 808 if he comes up with that.
Yes.
Did you guys watch Game of Thrones last night?
I did.
Yes, I did.
That was fantastic.
I actually watched it this morning when I got up.
I thought that was one of the better episodes this season.
Did everyone die?
No, no one died, did they?
No, almost.
The ending was incredible with what's the short guy's name, Lannister.
Tyrion Lannister.
He wants to have a trial.
Don't spoil it.
Oh, am I being a spoiler?
Potentially.
I want to know, because I'm not going to watch it.
Someone might not have watched it yet in the audience.
Oh.
So I can't say it?
Nope, you can't.
You can't.
Yeah, that would be potentially disastrous for someone out there.
However, if somebody in the chat room wants to type it out, we're not going to stop you.
No, but that was just great.
The tension at the end with what Tyrion proposed during his farce trial and the he just hasn't seen it yet.
All right.
Yeah, I'd be pissed off if I was looking forward to an episode and somebody ruined it for me, spoiled it.
So I won't say it, but it was a really great episode.
The dragons attack the Iron Bank and melt it.
That's what happens.
So is that it?
Do we have anything else we want to talk about?
I think we've shot our WAD.
Have we?
I think we've shot our WAD.
I'm sorry.
I'm very disappointed.
I didn't even get worked up.
But that's all right.
Sorry, man.
All right, everybody.
Hey, this has been the Gabcast.
I'm Eddie Dean.
Thanks to Jasmunda, B-Dub, and Onin.
Thanks to everybody at UFOShip.com in the chat room.
And I guess what I need to let everybody know, the Gabcast, we're going to move to a every two-week schedule during the next couple months.
And so it's not going to be every single Monday night at this time.
It will be every other Monday.
So we will see you guys in two weeks.
Good night, everybody.
All right.
Hey, thanks.
I'll talk to you guys later.
I got to run.
Bye.
Bye.
▲
Export Selection