Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Donald Trump's provocative imagery of himself as Jesus healing a DoorDash worker and his feud with Pope Leo XIV, while debating whether the Vatican protects pedophiles like Jeffrey Epstein. They analyze leaked reports on Paolo Zampoli's alleged extortion via deportation threats, Iran's use of fake Twitter accounts for propaganda, and CIA surveillance tools like "Ghost Murmur." The hosts also critique Justin Bieber's stripped-down Coachella performance, expose conspiracy theories surrounding Representative Eric Swalwell's personal life and political maneuvering in California, and question the corruptibility of priests versus politicians amidst modern digital chaos. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: CohereLabs/cohere-transcribe-03-2026, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Trump And The Catholic Church00:14:18
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrants.
Boy, Schultze here.
Alex Media, Marky Gags, Miles on the ones and twos, Joey over there trying to figure out the computer.
Nice.
One day, Joey.
Yeah, one day you got that shit, man.
Guys, guys, big things happening in the world.
Big things happen in the world, man.
Trump and the Catholic Church going after.
Yeah, bro, this is kind of wild.
They're going at it.
How do you feel as a Catholic, bro?
This is where you got to ride for your boy.
I mean, yeah, which, yeah, yeah, Leonardo, dude.
Pope Leonardo, yeah.
So, Leonardo's coming at Trump for quick question, quick question.
Is the Pope the leader of all of y'all?
Like, is he both of your daddies or just his daddy?
Mostly my daddy.
He's really all of our daddies.
Did you choose up with Iran?
Are you already on their side?
No, like religious people.
I'm just agnostic.
No, but were you baptized?
Yeah.
Okay, right now it doesn't matter if it's by choice.
They got into me.
Whoa, you and Mary, yeah.
I was 13 and then church that's consensual, right?
No, no, no, that was the other one.
That's what it's like.
Communion, you are way more Catholic than maybe now.
Mark is super Catholic, but you're more Catholic than me.
I have Puerto Rican, I had to go through all of them.
Don't do, I had to.
She still thinks I'm going to hell right now.
You are.
I didn't do the final one.
What's the one after confirmation?
I didn't do that one.
You got to hit the confirmation.
Yeah, see, I'm not full.
What are you waiting for, bro?
What are you waiting for?
Fake.
I'm an orthodox.
You're orthodox.
I'm not even orthodox.
I'm not even orthodox.
I'm actually shoving one of them.
I should tell you left orthodox, bro.
He left orthodox.
Oh, you're down with gay gay?
No, I'm Harlem, bro.
I'm Harlem.
Shout out to Renaissance Church, man.
Love y'all.
Corvinus gave an amazing fucking sermon.
I even felt guilty saying fucking before that one.
But he ain't even amazing.
Try it again.
But yeah, shout out to Corbett and Renaissance.
Does he pull up in the Dior and the Bentley and shit like that?
No, it's in a public school.
This is.
Well, after Schultz goes a couple times all of a sudden.
Yeah, I mean.
Yeah, I'm not going to have any seats if we keep talking about how amazing these church services are.
Does he look at you funny if you don't tip enough?
Bro, I'll be honest with you.
Tip, same shit.
I'm in there.
You made a real disrespect.
Yeah, right?
I hope there's hell.
No, no.
I can't do that.
No.
Wow.
Choose to do that.
That's what the sermon was about.
It was don't wish bad on me.
People, exactly, you want your trunk right now?
I'm trying to hope you find God.
You gotta do it more club.
You can be like, I hope you learn a good lesson.
I hope you do learn a good lesson.
I hope you get close to God.
I hope God entices you.
I hope you marry your girl so the both of you stop sinning.
You could just marry her and then both of you won't be sinning.
You're living in sin.
You are living in sin.
I don't practice y'all, so I'm not saying what is y'all's.
Y'all's are you a good person?
Yes, then you're a Catholic.
Wow, you think human beings were good before this?
You say Muslims aren't good people, they came after.
Get the order right.
All right, so if they were late, I'm probably Muslim.
Good point.
Good point.
But Muslims also love Jesus, so there you go.
That's what I'm saying.
They love Jesus.
They gotta love him.
Oh, okay.
They love him.
Now, if you convert to him, they'll kill you.
But they love him.
It is also kind of like how much do you love him?
It's almost like loving your stepfather or some shit.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
No, no, no.
You can't worship him.
Don't worship him, but respect him.
Give him some respect.
Exactly.
So, y'all, your team, Leo.
Yeah, talk some shit about Islam now.
You know.
Yeah, keep that same attitude as Islam too.
Yeah, not a stick.
Oh, no, no, no.
Let's see how agnostic you are.
Yeah.
Yeah, talk some shit.
Now that Mamdani's running shit.
Yeah, let's see.
My dad's gonna catch him on the subway.
What'd you say?
I'm giving it up to my people.
I'm trying to get free groceries.
I know, dude.
Sound like a Muslim chicken, dude.
Team Zoe, Team Zoe right now.
I'm gonna be praying five times a day in front of the fucking cereal section in the free groceries.
Okay, back to the Trump Pope thing.
So basically.
Why is he beefing with the Pope, man?
The Pope was.
I mean, it kind of goes back even farther than Pope Leo, but.
Oh, before Pope Leo.
Well, because Trump and Francis were going at it a little bit.
They were.
They were like kind of chirping at each other, but Francis was.
Is the Catholic.
Church, like, is there a little of them, like, yo, you're not gonna be the most prolific pedophile protector?
Is it us?
You're not taking that from us.
No.
Is there a little bit of, like, wow, that's no.
Is there a little bit?
We don't do that.
No, no, that's we don't do that.
You don't do that.
Who won?
Like, who's the better protector of pedophiles?
Okay, no.
Like, who's better?
Look, the church, the church had some issues, okay?
But what does that mean, exactly?
What does that mean?
You sound a real Epstein follower.
Look, the church, yo, at least the church moved them around.
Try to just like, yo, stay wherever you're at, bro.
You're good.
Yo, come upon me.
A part of my administration, right?
Keep running the world.
Yeah, introduce me to my new wife.
Allegedly, allegedly, there's kind of some shenanigans, okay?
But this is not about the institution, okay?
This is about Leo and Trump, all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so basically, Leo was going against Trump, being like, yo, this whole war is, you guys are getting crazy with this war in Iran.
Fire.
You're like this.
And he's got out Leo.
He was also like, you're going a little crazy with immigration.
We love this.
Who are the best Catholics?
Mexicans are up there.
Africans.
Africans are good.
Yo, which shout out to them.
Put some respect on African Catholics, bro.
Biggest.
A lot of people don't know.
Biggest growing group of Catholics right now.
Yeah.
Step it up.
Nigeria, right?
They got all the stuff.
Yo, stop acting like you know.
Step it up.
I know.
I'm tired.
Son, I'm Team Leo.
PL, throw it up one time, son.
Come on, son.
I can do that so fast.
Pull Leo in the building.
Oh, that was backwards, but I like it.
No, no, no.
Throw it up one time.
That's crazy.
Both Leos like them young, man.
Okay, no, I'm not putting that.
I'm not putting that on Leo.
I'm not putting it on Leo, man.
Can't do this on Leo.
I'm not putting it on Leo.
He's a man of God.
Never once happened at Renaissance Church up in Harlem.
I'm just saying, never once.
No accusations.
Why do you even put that out there, bro?
Can you put it on to a service?
Can you come to a service?
I'm just saying.
So Leo's going to Trump, basically being like, he says some crazy shit in one of his, I don't even know exactly what it was, but he gave a speech, maybe a sermon, I don't know, but he says, God does not hear the prayers of those that wage war.
I have, I take exception to that.
I think he hears them.
He comes up.
I think he comes up on the ticker.
I don't know if he's clicking the link, but like to say he doesn't even hear them is a little bit peculiar, right?
Doesn't God hear the prayers of everyone?
Yeah.
Yeah, he hears.
And then also you look at the Bible and you're like, oh, there's some wars he heard about.
Don't, don't, don't, don't even, don't even, don't even, don't, don't, don't, don't, I celebrate the Orthodoxy.
No, you didn't.
I did.
I did.
I did celebrate Orthodoxy.
I was out east.
I was out east.
I was out east with the bunny rabbits weeks ago.
You're a little Catholic Easter.
You're full gazy.
But Easter this past weekend, I didn't see you anywhere.
Where was I this past weekend?
You read that.
Renaissance.
Was I at church this past weekend?
What is the Renaissance known for?
Don't bite me.
Okay.
I fucking hate you, bro.
Y'all right, I wasn't at church on real Easter.
Technically, you did go, thank you.
But I think you hang out with your bunny rabbits, you hang out with your bunny rabbits on your Easter.
I'll go to real Easter.
Okay, back to the point.
Yes, Trump is the thing.
He says, He is risen.
Leo's weak on crime, he's terrible for foreign policy.
He talks about fear of Trump, but he wasn't afraid when you know the Catholic Church had all these people arrested during COVID.
I like his brother Louie much better.
He goes, Louis fired.
Louis MAGA.
He gets it.
Leo doesn't.
He thinks it's okay for Iran to have a nuclear weapon.
I don't want a pope that thinks, you know, all this stuff.
He basically goes on to say, like, I hate Leo.
And he thinks that Leo's a lib.
The balls.
And then.
How do the Catholics feel about it?
I mean, Christians in general, specifically with the Leo stuff, Catholics are obviously like, yo, this is crazy out of line.
You can't be going to the Pope like this.
Because they like Leo?
Do they appreciate Leo?
Do they think he's.
Sometimes there's.
Sometimes there's some, you know, like who was it that they thought was it?
Who was the last one that got from Argentina?
Francis.
Francis, that's right.
They didn't think Francis was maybe conservative enough for the church.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But Leo, I think the fact that he's American, they find him shot down.
Shot down.
Is he even coming at the vote?
I saw somewhere that they said that the people fucked up the vote to put an American in there that was a liberal.
Yo, just start from the beginning, man.
Yeah.
I'm trying to find him, trying to read the tweet at the same time.
Start from the beginning, take a deep breath.
And then get your snap ready.
Yo, I'm team.
Relax, relax over there.
You know.
Okay, so what?
No, I'll find it.
Trump said basically in this that Leo only became Pope because they wanted an American to go against Trump.
That's what I just said.
All right.
See?
That's what I just said.
You see?
I'm out here speaking for a black man, but it's all good.
Keep me honest.
Why did the Catholic Church, the Catholic Church is the world?
Thank you.
They're not worried about just America.
The Catholic Church is the world.
Right.
True.
You think that you're going to elect an American Pope?
I mean, they did.
But they didn't do it to thwart Trump.
They're not even thinking about Trump when they're in that little room with the smoke coming out.
Yeah, with the haze.
With the haze.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is it called again?
I actually don't know the, I mean, the Vatican, but I don't know the exact room that they're in.
Oh, 1.4 billion.
I mean, look at that.
Numbers going up.
1.4 billion people.
Come on, dude.
So yeah, they put him in the house.
17.8% of the global population.
That is.
That's the global population, including China, lying about this.
Highest growth rates recorded in Africa.
Let's go.
Yo, shout out to African Catholics, man.
The realest.
Come on, man.
There you go.
So, then Trump goes, you know what?
I've had enough of this.
I'm dropping the pic.
And he posts this picture of him as a doctor, bro.
As a doctor.
He's a doctor.
Why would anybody think he's not a doctor?
Doesn't your doctor look like that?
Yeah, 100%.
Yo, when you go get your knee check, doesn't your doctor come in with a fucking plate full of Baba Ganesh and start rubbing your fucking Achilles?
Is that what your doctor looks like?
I expect my doctor to be dressed like this based off of his ethnicity most of the time.
Oftentimes they are hairs or something.
But I mean, it's hilarious that Trump's like, I'm not Jesus.
Come on.
I'm obviously a doctor and the Red Cross.
I love the Red Cross.
That's his defense of this.
What's the Iron Man shit in his hand?
Oh, the light?
Oh, who?
Oh, yeah.
Does the doctor bring that to you?
Yeah, of course.
Nah, that's the shit to make sure your pupils are checking their pupils.
But he took it down.
He did.
He didn't take down the Obama.
Yeah, I know.
The Obama monkey thing.
Yep.
He didn't?
No.
Wow.
Wow.
I know.
Now, this is what he says in response.
So they go, so why'd you post a picture of you as Jesus?
And this is what he says.
I did post it, and I thought it was me as the doctor and had to do with Red Cross as a Red Cross worker there, which we support.
And only the fake news could come up with that one.
So I had just heard about it.
And I said, how did they come up with that?
It's supposed to be me as a doctor making people better.
And I do make people better.
I make people a lot better.
As an example, the 11,000, I understand your husband's going through a treatment.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
He's going through some very serious cancer treatment.
So this goes along with that.
He sounds like me trying to get my point out before.
Now keep in mind, the woman that he's talking to right there is a DoorDash delivery woman.
She's a grandma that got to work DoorDash delivering Burger King.
The McDonald's.
Oh my god, that's what it sounds like.
The White House?
Which also, there's a little fugazi with that.
Tell me.
Well, people pointed out that that woman, Sharon Simmons, I believe is her name.
Uh oh.
She, I don't know if she is or isn't working for DoorDash, but she is a Trump supporter from Nevada.
Okay.
And she was over there and like spoke at one of his things and like talked.
I don't know exactly what the context was, but she was in connection with Trump in some capacity as like a supporter and then goes to DC to deliver him McDonald's.
So people were like, oh, well, this is obviously, you obviously like brought her over for this.
PR thing.
But why would you bring a grandma that needs to work DoorDash?
Because they're talking about taxation on tips.
Yeah, but like, pause it for a second.
Isn't.
People don't want to live, don't we want to live in a country where grandmas don't have to work DoorDash, where grandmas get to be retired?
Yeah, like what, like what kind of delusional reality are we living in where he's parading around the grandma that's working DoorDash so she can afford to pay her husband's cancer bills?
And he's like, See, we're not doing tips, like, there's a whole other issue at hand here that we need to be focused on.
Grandma DoorDash Rumors00:15:43
Yeah, no, yeah, that's funny.
Like, when you see like the grandpa, whatever, who's the greeter at Walmart.
Like, and I understand that's actually a good job for the old people.
That one I'm actually down with getting out the house and not just sitting around watching TV all day, waving and connecting with people.
I did that, years to his life, yes.
No, you're joking, but I think it does.
I'm being deadly sick, yeah.
Honey, do you keep him in the house all day?
No, I agree.
Let people steal from Walmart.
That's what their job should be, yo.
Son, you ever go to like the car rest stops and then like the food court?
They have like re re's handing out popcorn and you know what, you know what, Al?
That shit, Al, we were just doing something that was good and positive.
And then I feel good about that.
It's like, yo, they're getting out the house, they're doing something, yeah.
That is nice, but David, they take, are they taking a couple bites out your popcorn now?
Are they getting in there?
Come on, bro.
Al, that was you, that was you.
I was feeling good about that.
You need to get confirmed, bro.
You need to get confirmed and give your life to you.
You need to get confirmed.
It's hard.
You need to get confirmed.
You need to spell confirmation.
You need to spell confirmation.
I'm gonna be giving up popcorn in a couple years, my god, bro.
My funny Mike showed this joke.
He's like, I was going through the checkout line at the grocery store and the bag boy.
I was standing there and the cashier was like, Do you want to donate a dollar for kids with Down syndrome?
And the bag boy had Down syndrome.
And he was like, So we just gave the bag boy a dollar.
He was like, Here you go.
Cut the middleman out.
Yeah, that's great.
Cut the middleman out.
Guys, we're back on the road.
We're hitting it.
Here are the dates.
Tampa, we're going to be there next weekend.
Sold out.
We appreciate you.
I'll let you know if we're going to add any shows there.
Denver, May 1st and 2nd.
Sold out.
We appreciate it.
I will let you know if we're going to add more dates.
Very possible to add a show in each city, depending on how long it was.
Salt Lake, also.
Sold out, but also possible to add something there.
And Halifax, Nova Scotia, the Great Outdoors Fest, that's going to be a wild one.
Cam Patterson coming, Luke Kazelnick coming, Mark Gagnon coming.
All right.
We'll be adding some more shows.
So make sure you check either my Instagram or theandrewschultz.com.
Mark, what you got?
Yes.
First, April 23rd, Providence, Rhode Island Comedy Connection.
And then April 28th, we're doing the show at Mary Lou in New York City.
If you want to come by and see a showcase with me, Joey Avery, and a bunch of good comics in New York, maybe the best.
Comics, arguably.
And then at the end of the year, I'm hitting a bunch of spots.
I'm going to Mike Drop in Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, the Ice House in Pasadena, and San Diego and Detroit in the wintertime.
I can't wait to see you guys there.
And Akash is going to be at Radio City this Saturday.
Yes.
Akash is at Radio City this Saturday.
Okay.
Yeah, this woman just walks up and is delivering McDonald's, which this is the other issue with immigration is that I've never seen a DoorDash person look like this.
Yeah.
This is what happens, dude.
When you round up too many migrants, all of a sudden you got white grandmas doing DoorDash.
Yeah.
I mean, but that's what they want because they say the migrants are taking all the jobs.
Exactly.
Get to work, nanny.
Get in there.
I mean, and he pulls up.
Oh, thanks so much.
Is he sponsored by McDonald's?
He has to be.
Yeah.
Right?
It has to be.
Yeah.
Also, you don't need to label the Oval Office.
Yeah, the sign outside is crazy.
Did you see the sign outside?
It's not a bathroom.
Like, we know what the fuck room is.
Oh, it just says it, like, right there.
It says it in gold cursive.
The Oval Office.
Nah, it's an Oval Office.
Come on, you know, Trump.
It got everything.
It's big, it's gold, everything.
There's one room that's an oval.
Also, you know how DoorDash goes?
It's annoying when they're at the wrong door.
You got to call them and be like, no, come here.
We got to believe they let this grandma onto the fucking premises of the White House and she's just going door to door.
Yeah, you got to tell them exactly which door you got to label it.
I actually think that's smart.
That's a good movie.
I mean, wild.
I also wonder if he likes McDonald's because his name's kind of in it.
You know what I mean?
Without him even realizing it.
She's like, there's just something about it.
Yeah, yeah.
Once he starts liking Burger King, we should be concerned.
He should be like, I don't know.
I don't know.
That's good.
Apparently, he loves Wendy's now.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
You're not going to catch me.
You're not going to catch me.
But people have pointed out this.
You're not going to catch me, my boy.
You're talking about what a burger?
It ain't going to happen.
White Caswell?
Wow.
All time great clip.
Oh, Miles, you're the best.
People have pointed out this picture.
They go, Who's he healing?
Like, as a doctor, what person is he fixing here?
I saw John Stewart.
Yeah, that shit looked very much like him.
John Stewart does like a 30 second talk.
John Stewart.
Some people were like, Is he healing Epstein?
Maybe a little bit.
Oh, you know who that guy looks like back there with the white beard?
The guy who cooks food for everybody.
He's a restaurateur, chef, and then he has like a Feed the World or something on this project.
Jose.
Something or other.
Oh, God.
Start over, take a breath.
No, Jose.
What's his name?
Andres.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
Isn't that him?
No, you dialed.
Yeah, that was good.
I might be right.
You put a Jose on there?
Yo, but Jose is, he's a, this is, I mean, obviously, he probably has controversy, and I'm going to compliment this guy.
Sometimes things can be good.
Sometimes things can be good.
But nah, this guy is like that dude.
He's just walking around to war-torn places and developing these like food kitchens so he could feed all these hungry people.
It's like really amazing.
This guy's sick.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
No, there's nothing wrong with this guy.
Yeah, he's a good guy.
Okay, who's the girl right there?
I don't know.
Who's that little girl?
Oh, who's that little nurse at the bottom?
Hey, Trump might be a doctor.
You got Melania down there with the stethoscope and the tilted head.
She's already on her knees.
Yo, Al.
Come on, bro.
Al.
God, it's an AI picture.
Al.
It's actually funny.
Like, no matter what Al says, it's just like, come on.
Al, it's kind of broken.
I'm trying to be positive.
And then the craziest part if you scroll over.
And the cavil out there in the infantry outfit.
Nice jawline.
Beautiful jawline.
How do you get a jaw?
Oh, you got a mate.
Do you have to?
You got a smash bone.
What is mate?
What?
You got a smash bone.
What?
You got a smash bone.
You ain't smashing bone, bro.
You just launched a booger.
It's all over my face, right?
Is it booger all over my face?
Some gimbal, man.
You got clothes, bro.
That's wild.
You got clothes.
Don't even find me a napkin because this is going right on my palm.
No.
Come on.
I'll use the left hand in case we need to dap up throughout the podcast.
That was more than I thought it was.
That was more than I thought it was.
Probably still in that mustache.
Let's keep going.
Also, what is even who's that ball?
Clouds is that ball?
Well, so the thing is, so this picture was originally posted.
Ball, ball, ball, yeah, ball, balls in your mouth.
No, so this was this was posted.
Guidey, I think that was a ruse that you started 3,000 years ago.
Like, one way we want to get the entire world.
This leak was promised to us.
So, this picture was originally posted in February by uh, this guy, I forget what his name is, but.
He's like close to Trump.
And so he posts the picture.
And if you look at the picture on the left, that's the OG that he posted.
And it looks like there's kind of like angels, like, you know, kind of regular soldiers.
Yeah, it looks like fallen soldiers.
No, it's cavalry angels, bro.
It's angels ready for war, wearing the whole armor of God.
They're angels dead.
Nah, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Angels aren't dead?
No, they exist in the spirit world.
You agnostic motherfucker.
Just sit there and pay attention as the Catholic explains shit to you.
Fuck out of here.
So they edit the image to put Ball up in there?
So, for some reason, it hasn't been disclosed.
They switch it up where they put like an angel with horns.
Oh, and people are like, Is that the Antichrist?
Like, what are you doing?
Yeah, so it's a little, it looks like Megatron a little, it looks like a transformer.
Yeah, but I don't get why.
And there hasn't been really an explanation for what's going on with that.
So, what's up?
What's going on over there, bro?
What the is going on?
But he deleted it, huh?
He walked that back.
Yeah, that is the Christians were not happy.
This pissed off all the Christians.
This pissed off all the Christians, pissed off the Muslims, obviously, that Isa bin Mariam, you know, peace be upon him.
And he's imitating a Jewish guy.
What'd you do there?
That's the name of the prophet, Jesus Christ, in Islam.
Is what?
Isa bin Mariam.
Isa bin Mariam?
Yes, that's his name.
Well, why wouldn't they just call him Jesus?
Because they call him Suleiman, Musa.
They switch it up.
You know what I mean?
That's disrespectful.
They switch it up for Arabic.
That's disrespectful.
They swing it to the Arabic.
We don't swing it to nothing.
A name is a name.
A name is a name.
It's Jesus.
God, Jehovah.
It's Jesus.
Well, it might not even be Jesus.
It might be Yeshua.
Nope.
Nope.
We're not doing that translation.
We're not doing that in Arabic.
Fine.
I'm going to call Xi Jinping whatever I want.
You do already.
Mark, don't tell people.
Mark, don't tell people.
I told him.
So, oh, wait, what is this?
Time person of the year for 2026.
Now, the time person of the year isn't necessarily a good thing.
Not always, because there's been Hitler won time person of the year.
Yeah, Hitty.
Really?
Yeah, Hitty got the cover piece.
So it's just like who gets the most attention in a year?
Oh, yeah.
I think it's the most significant or influential person that year.
Bad or good.
Yeah.
But yeah, they threw Hitty up there.
Centerfold.
And who was number two?
Zoe?
Yeah, Big Z. Big Z. Big Z.
And he's going over now.
Over the Pope.
Pope Leo really only got it from beef, if you think about it.
Like, if you're not mentioning Trump's name, nobody's really talking about Pope Leo.
If we're being honest, outside of that, what is he doing?
I mean, he's leading the world to Christ.
That's good, of course.
But I like him leaning in a little bit more.
Put a little pressure on Trump's ass.
You want to get these wars stopped, put some pressure.
You got 1.4 billion people on your back.
Yeah.
And he is, my man.
Oh, wow.
I'm on the list, too.
What Al?
That's cute.
Come on, let me get one.
That was cute.
That was cute.
Bad bunny.
It goes Trump, Zoram, Omdani, Poblio, bad bunny.
And somehow he is up 12%.
Who is that?
Reed Wiseman?
Who's that?
I've never even heard that name.
Anyway.
But yeah, that's basically the Trump battling all the Christians.
He's an astronaut.
Oh, shout out to him.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
He's going to be up there.
Not the.
Where's the black guy?
Yup.
Talk it.
Come on.
Low key, it should be Epstein, bro.
Fucking Jackie Robinson.
Well, Epstein's dead.
Can you win it if you're dead?
Posthumously?
Yes.
Can you win it posthumously?
I don't know.
Probably not.
Wait, Hitler won it when he was still alive?
Yeah.
1938.
Tom was out at that time?
I didn't know Tom was that old.
That's also funny that you're like, Like after he died, Tom's like, Now we gotta give it up.
We only love rappers when they die, bro.
Isn't that crazy?
Oh no.
Al just found out about time.
That's hilarious.
All right, man.
So, yeah, that's that.
All right, so was Melania trafficked or what?
Like, can we just.
That's okay.
This is wild.
What's the conspiracy?
What's the alleged?
Don't sue us.
Can we just say that?
There's an ongoing lawsuit about this exact topic right now.
Yeah.
And I don't feel like being in a lawsuit.
Can you just tell me what the toll was for Melania straight of Hormuz?
Can you just tell me what the fee was back in the day, allegedly?
Just as a legend, this is with all due respect.
Is it?
This is with all due respect.
I don't want to get arrested, dude.
I'm just going to say this.
There might be somebody that's been on this podcast for a long time that's not white nor Indian that has been saying this exact thing.
Why are you trying to get me killed?
Yo, I love my life.
I'm not societal, but I heard some things about Melania.
Wait a minute.
Are you trying to tell me that you heard a rumor that an incredibly attractive Eastern European might have been.
An escort back in the day?
Whoa, whoa.
I'm going to just say she had another job.
I don't know what that job was.
You said that.
She might have been doing DoorDash.
She might have been doing DoorDash.
I don't know.
Whoa, that's crazy.
That's Andrew Shell saying about it.
I mean, like, if we're just going to be honest about that part of the world, chances are.
A lot of Orthodox over there.
Yeah.
A lot of Orthodox.
That's where the Orthodox church is really thriving right now.
If we're being honest.
Hey, what else about them?
You were saying?
It, unfortunately, circumstances have led to a lot of them seeking sex work.
Yeah.
Like, allegedly.
Allegedly.
Allegedly, I heard a rumor that she was selling pussy back in the day.
Whoa.
Ow.
Now, that would obviously be absurd.
Yeah, that would be crazy absurd.
Yeah.
But, like, allegedly.
But what Julia Roberts does in that movie, it's like romantic and fun and fun.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Yeah.
It's a double standard.
It is a double standard.
It's a beautiful woman.
It's a beautiful woman.
Pretty.
Shining personality.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
So she comes out apparently without Trump knowing.
That's the wild thing.
She does a press conference, and apparently Trump's doing like an interview with like MS Now or something.
They're like, Yeah, so Melania said some stuff about Epstein.
He's like, Huh?
Get out of here.
This is what I heard.
I didn't confirm that, but that's what I heard.
Which is hilarious.
They're starting to look like each other, man.
They're starting to look like each other.
I don't know if that's a knock on her.
You trying to say Trump is cute, nigga?
Nah.
I like how you had to throw that in with it.
It's too much, dude.
It's too much.
You had a little masculinity.
So she comes out of nowhere and basically just, I mean, we can watch a little bit of it if you want.
You don't think they look a little like?
Nah.
Come on.
She's holding up.
No, she's absolutely beautiful.
But if you put Trump in a wind tunnel.
He just had like his skin stretched.
The lipo?
The lipo?
Yeah.
All right, hold on.
Play just a little bit, just so you can get the vibe.
Remember, this is someone's mom, man.
Yeah.
The lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today.
See?
All accents are broken.
Ethical standards.
Humility.
Humility.
And respect.
Respect.
I do not object to their ignorance, but rather I reject their mean spirited attempts to defame my reputation.
All right, pause.
She's talking about you, Will.
She's talking about the people that are besmirching her name.
She's talking about Shost.
I said she had another job.
I never said anything.
I said that there was a guy on this podcast that is not white or Indian that had claimed that she might have done some things in the past and that you heard that.
Why are you snitching on Joey's Puerto Rican ass?
It could have been Joey.
It could have been Joey.
I don't know.
But Joey.
Yeah, Joey said.
Somebody had said that there are rumors about this.
Now, the thing about this that's interesting is that it comes out of basically nowhere, right?
Like, you have people saying, like, oh, Trump's doing the war in Iran to cover up from the Epstein files, which I don't think that's wholly true.
I think that's a byproduct.
But then the second, like, there's a ceasefire, Melania comes out, she's like, I'm not, I don't know Epstein.
Well, because there was a leaked, what was it?
There was a leaked report to the Daily Caller or something like that.
Calling ICE Is A Crime00:10:01
Did you guys see this?
That's what she's reacting to.
Well, that's what the suspicion is that she's getting ahead of a story.
So, the story dropped already before she did this press conference.
What story specifically?
Yeah.
I think it was the Daily Caller.
Did what?
Joey's going to bring it up right now.
But it's funny.
When she did this shit, I was like, you probably too young for this, but the early days of social media, you would always know when a couple's beefing, when a girl just starts posting some quote, like, oh, like, oh, I'm too strong to deal with this guy got me or some shit like that.
You know, she's arguing with her manager like that.
She's not going to be my worst.
You don't deserve me in my best.
Exactly.
And I thought that was the version they must beefing right now.
She's like, oh, word?
I'm gonna put some heat back on this Epstein shit, motherfucker.
That's what I thought initially.
But then I started hearing about the Amanda chick.
Yeah, he was.
That's a part of the ripple that I think is the most interesting.
Okay, well, what's the Amanda check?
So, can you look at like some leaked story?
There's a completely untrue allegation that I think is extremely absurd from Michael Wolf.
Michael Wolf is the guy who wrote the book about Trump, right?
And he alleged, based off his own sources, again, I don't know, this is an ongoing lawsuit, that it's possible that Epstein was the one that connected them on the private jet.
You may have heard that theory.
That's where it's more or less where it comes from.
And that he was the connecting piece.
And there's a guy that's connected to Trump that's like, Was appointed by into some special office in 2020.
He stayed under Biden and then he gets appointed again in this new administration.
He is this guy, Paolo Zampoli.
He's friends with Epstein from back in the day.
He denies any type of wrongdoing with Epstein and was unaware of any of his crimes.
Of course.
And he gets married to a woman and her name is, can you pull up her name?
He used to run a modeling agency.
Yes, he ran a modeling agency and he is married to a woman.
They divorce and then.
There's a woman who's 16 years old.
Her name's like Amanda Aguaro.
I think she's Argentinian or something.
She is 16 years old, flies on Epstein's Lolita Express to America for modeling.
And then when she's of age, she marries Paolo Zampoli.
Her agent was Jean Luc Bruneau, whatever the name is.
John Luc Bruneau.
The guy who, the French dude.
Yep.
Yes.
Who was connected with Epstein.
Who was given Epstein products.
Procuring all the models and who famously committed suicide.
Yes.
In France.
Yes.
And they have a kid and then.
They divorce Paulo Zampoli and his ex wife now are like estranged.
He calls ICE on her to get her deported back to I think she maybe she's Brazilian.
I can't remember if you can find out exactly.
Yeah, she's Brazilian.
She was running an illegal Botox clinic and then a tip came in that this clinic was happening.
So they locked her up.
Ice came in, put her in a detention center for three months.
And they're trying to work to deport her right now.
Nah.
She's deported.
She's fully deported.
She's back in the military.
But you gotta put someone in prison for that shit.
What do you mean?
Putting Botox?
Putting Botox in women illegally?
I didn't even know that part.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know that's what her business was.
And that's what they snitched on that.
Oh, we're supposed to feel bad for this woman.
She's putting Botox in women illegally.
Maybe it was in Florida, fucking Miami.
That's like a fucking Starbucks.
Yeah, yeah.
We need to see how good the Botox was before I do that.
Yeah, I need to see some of the work.
But this guy, Paulo, allegedly calls ICE on his own ex wife.
Yeah.
To get her deported back to Brazil.
They have a kid.
All right, let's just open that up.
Let's have a discussion about that.
Okay, okay.
I feel like you're picking up on that.
I just want to have a discussion about it.
Al, you're in a situation where you could use that as a leverage point at any point in time.
I would never.
I know you would never.
Let me wake up up upset one day.
I'm just saying, you wouldn't do it.
Would you, like, Would you throw it out there?
No, man.
No.
Never even an argument.
You're like, man.
No.
Because I learned from a friend in a previous situation that's a crime.
What happened?
You can't threaten to call ICE on somebody legal.
It's like a crime.
Did that happen?
Yeah.
It's a crime to call ICE on that person?
Tell you later.
Really?
Yeah.
It's a threat.
It's a crime to threaten justice?
Hold on.
H. H.
Yeah, but then somehow that girl used this situation to be able to stay longer, even though she was had overstayed, but now she's in like a criminal lawsuit, so she was just able to stay long.
Yeah, crazy.
So, you can't do that.
That guy, don't that's why he didn't threaten her, he just snitched on.
He just snitched on me.
Oh, you don't threaten, you don't brandish, yeah, because then it's like extortion, I guess.
Exactly, like if you don't do this for me, then I'm gonna ruin your life.
Yes, yes, yes, that makes sense.
I like that.
You shouldn't be able to do that, you should never do that to your fiance.
And no human is illegal, according to Pope Leo, and I stand with him.
So I agree on that one.
Shout out Leo.
I agree, no human is illegal.
If you down, throw it up.
It's not illegal to be a human.
It's not illegal to be a human.
How do you do that so fast?
There's something genetically you gotta do.
You just have a mind body connection.
Do you think there's like a blood that does speak sign language?
Like, is there a deaf blood or crap who's like.
Imagine that's how it started.
Yeah.
There's gotta be one, right?
He's like, What do we call each other?
I'm gonna kill you.
Well, there's gotta be one, right?
There's gotta be one out there.
That's so funny.
He's the best at it.
Oh, yeah.
He keeps the best secrets.
You could do any crime with him.
They'd be like, Snitch, you'd be like, How do you whisper in sign language?
Oh, yeah.
Is it like, Do you make it little?
Like, how do you caps lock it?
Like, what is it?
Like, I need to know emotion behind American Sign Language.
You kind of like, you kind of tuck it behind the back a little.
Just throw it away real quick.
I mean, imagine the deaf blood gets arrested and he just can't talk.
You just fucking tied up.
Exactly.
Like, tell us what happened.
Put mittens on him.
Yeah.
You put mittens on him.
And they try to give him the Miranda rights.
He's like, I can't.
I'm not talking about that.
That's wild.
That's where no snitching came from.
Oh.
See?
How do you even arrest the deaf guy?
Speaking of, I want you to exhale all your air.
All your air.
Exhale all your air.
And then I want you to exhale.
All the air, and then I want you to try to scream.
Exhale every bit of air, and then try to scream as loud as you possibly can.
I just try.
Scream and save your life.
Imagine your fiance is getting deported.
Scream and save her.
Yeah.
You're telling her which part of Spain?
Barcelona.
All right, one more time.
Go.
No, what the fuck is this?
Yeah, you do it.
Okay, what they basically say is if you have more like masculine lungs, that you can breathe.
All the air out of your body, and you can still scream.
If you have more feminized lungs, sometimes people have from hookah or smoking cigarettes, sucking cocks a lot in your life.
You got bitch tits.
You should be able to do this.
Tits are on top of it.
Tits are on top of it.
It's on top of their lungs.
So I'll give you one more chance.
No, I'm not doing this.
You do it.
There's something up right now.
Ah!
Easy.
Stop it, bro.
Easy.
You go.
You go.
I got it.
Can you do it?
I got it.
What the fuck is this?
You ever seen a turtle have sex?
You've seen a turtle have sex?
You've got to stop watching TikTok.
I know, I got it.
I got to get off it.
That's what a turtle having sex sounds like.
It's a very specific reference, but I can't believe it.
What, they actually make that sound?
Yeah.
Can you pull up a turtle having sex immediately?
Both of you need to get off TikTok.
What the fuck is that?
Miles knows what it is.
Why do you make the headphones so hard, bro?
This is America.
This is America.
You can have the headphones on or off, bro.
Yeah, look at this.
This is America.
No, this is legal.
Fucked.
No, we need audio.
I'm sorry.
This is kind of a busy day.
It's majorly an audio kind of.
Nah.
Oh, so they're there?
You don't remember the scene from Peter Robbery?
Yo.
You don't remember this?
Yo, so they're not pumping, they just breathing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He got a little vagina in his mouth.
Stop, stop, stop.
Do you see that thing opening up?
That's a trap.
That's a trap.
That's how they get you.
But it might be worth it.
No, no, it's not worth it.
It might be worth it.
It's not worth it.
Look at that little thing in there opening up.
Come in.
Come in.
All right, all right, stop this immediately.
We need to get that on the soundboard.
I thought that was going to bomb, but that was amazing.
Oh, man.
You didn't know that turtle got pussy throat?
Did you know that?
I didn't know that.
I had no clue.
I didn't know they were throated, dude.
Oh, man.
Oh.
But anyway, so Melania, remember those girls, man?
Okay, stop.
You guys need to help yourself.
Back in the day, I'm just saying, way back in the day.
My nephew watches this.
Can we stop talking?
So far, yeah, his nephew's watching.
Listen, there's some girls out there that sound just like turtles.
They got another mouth in their mouth, man.
TalkSpace Therapy Promo Code00:02:14
Oh, the back mouth?
The back is crazy.
I think that's where that alien thing came from.
Remember that Sigourney Weaver alien movie where the little mouth came out?
There were dudes watching that, like, oh, I've been with one of them.
Sucked my soul.
Sucked it right out.
All right, guys, take a break for a second.
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Now let's get back to the show.
If he sues the Pope, what do we do?
Well, people want the Pope to run for president now, which I didn't even know that was possible.
Church and state.
Pope gay.
Church and state back together again at last.
Yo.
Pope Leo?
But now, does he run as a Democrat or a conservative?
Catholic.
He runs as a Catholic.
Yeah, Catholic party.
Because then you get the evangelicals, you get everything.
No, I don't know if the jellies are going to like it.
They'll come around.
Christ is king.
Christ is king.
Wait, Pope's not their daddy?
No.
In my opinion, Jesus is their daddy.
Yeah.
Jesus is your daddy too.
Say it.
Say it.
Christ is king, bro.
Say it.
Christ is king.
Hey, say.
Yeah.
Anti Semite.
Yo, stop being so anti Semite.
Yo, that's crazy.
What?
I can't do that.
Yo, that's crazy.
Wait, what?
How dare you believe in your God?
I know.
You fucking anti Semite.
You believe in your Lord and Savior?
Bro, Christ is king.
Whoa.
Yo.
Yo.
Oh my God.
No.
I'm not.
Nah.
Why is that bad?
Fucking Kanye over here.
Like, this guy is insane.
What you just said.
You're bugging me.
Your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, you think is the King of Kings?
Yeah.
Shit.
But why do you hate the Jews?
No, Why would you hate the Jews so much by saying that?
No, I don't hate the Jews.
Come on.
No, but you just said that you believe in your God.
Yeah, exactly.
Christ is King.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Come on.
I have a movie coming out.
What should I say?
They're going to edit me out of Street Fighter.
Come on, dude.
They're going to save the movie.
Come on.
It's going to be a box office.
A box office incision.
It's going to be easy editing.
They're going to cut my scene.
Yo, yo, Trump, he said your wife is old, man.
He said it, though.
He said it, Trump.
Yo, he said it, Joe.
I'll just let y'all know.
Joe, I'm just snitching right now.
Okay?
While we're taking shots.
Okay?
It's mutually assured destruction over here.
Shaheen drone to you.
Shaheen drone to you.
Okay?
Everybody's getting it.
Can we focus on the issues at hand here?
Tell us about Amanda Batula.
No, no, we're done with that.
Oh, Amanda Bonds.
Yes.
Yeah, tell us about Amanda Bonds.
Amanda Bonds.
She's making a comeback.
Is she?
Yeah, you haven't seen her?
No.
No, she's swinging it back around.
All right.
Swing it away.
But no, can you focus on the issue, though?
Yeah, I mean, what's the issue?
The issue to me seems that your level of anti Semitism by believing in your Lord is Savior.
It's crazy.
Look, absurd levels.
Everyone can worship who they want to worship.
But for me, Christ is king.
Yo, that's all it is, bro.
That's all it is.
Nah, nah, he's king, bro.
He's king.
He's king.
Who's queen?
Choose, man.
I don't know, man.
Five point star.
What the hell?
The hands, the hands, like he just thinks some hands.
Like, we're talking about David right here, man.
We're talking about David again, man.
The hands are got a new landlord in that double TF building.
That quick.
You were Chinese for a whole two years.
He does.
I got tired of that.
Even his jacket's turning to an Israeli flag right now.
Yeah, it's turning blue.
Iran's propaganda is destroying us right now.
Yo, man.
And we need to stop this.
Whoever's running Iranian Twitter, you got it, bro.
You got it.
Listen.
Can we hide them?
No, no, no.
Can I tell you what the real issue is, if I have to be honest here?
Is black people don't care about this war or don't want the war.
So our Twitter is not gas.
If you don't have black Twitter, it's not gas.
That's a good point.
Simple as that.
That's a good point.
I see.
No, I hear no lies.
I'm telling you, if you want to win the Twitter war, black people need to support it.
Because black Twitter is going to run it.
Concerned that Twitter was funny when Dems are in charge.
Now that Republicans are in charge, it's just whiny.
It's too emotional.
When Dems are in charge, they had heat, they had the memes.
It was fun.
But now it's just like too much.
It feels like too much propaganda.
They turned into the soy boy.
Yes, they did.
They went full soy boy.
But this Iranian Twitter, bro, is unbelievable.
And it's getting posted by the Iran embassy.
I don't know if it's actually the Iran embassy or their fake Twitter accounts claiming to be because it would be like Iran of Zimbabwe.
Yeah, well, this is the embassy of South Africa.
I don't know if every embassy gets their own Twitter and if that's sanctioned, but they have the links and they got some followers.
So I'm inclined to be like, should we call them up?
They got a number on there.
Yeah.
Give them a ring.
I think we might need to just call them up.
Yeah, who's running it?
Yeah, you're fine.
Let me call this out.
What?
Should I star six seven?
They don't.
You think that's going to be.
Should I star six seven?
Yeah, how are they ever going to know me?
I star six seven.
Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
We all fall.
He got wormholed fucking Palantirs about to send a drone over right now.
Yep.
Hold on, We fall.
Does Star 67 not work?
You know what?
All right, so there was this thing back in the day to the young people you don't understand.
If you didn't want someone to know who was calling, you would dial Star 67 before you call.
Yep.
So essentially, it would like block your number because there was a thing called Star 69, which if you missed a call, it would tell you the last number that called you.
Right?
I never knew that.
So if you want to make sure, if you prank calling or doing something like that back in the day, Prank calls are very fun before you had caller ID.
So you would hit star six seven and then call.
What was your best prank call?
Well, we'll get into that.
We'll get into that.
But now.
I was trying to think of a prank call.
No, no, no, no, They're like the new inspector.
Don't even wear Steve Madden.
Eight ball.
No, but Star 6-7, they probably do have our numbers somewhere.
I'm saying, like, the same hubris that we operated with Star 6-7 is like the Epstein files with emails and shit.
Like, people thought you would never be able to get your email hacked.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, they thought there was not even a chance in the world.
They're like, no, I have a password.
Nobody could ever obtain this information.
That's probably everything in our lives.
If you can hear a dude's heartbeat, Did you hear they found like the dude in Iran, the American soldier? Based off his heartbeat?
They can hear your heartbeat, they have some technology where they can hear your heartbeat from space.
So they can detect a guy's heartbeat.
Star 6-7 Hubris Comparison00:03:27
So they climb to a mountain where there's no other people around.
So it's just your heartbeat.
And then we can like use some audio technology to remove all the other sounds and just detect that.
And then we'll go get you.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
So they know we're gooning.
You see the FBI gooning.
Oh, yeah.
Every time you goon it, they got you.
They're clocking you 100%.
They got you.
Especially whoop.
Whoop stays listening to you, beat off.
You don't think that there's a dude in India right now that's like assigned to you?
I am.
Either turtles have a sex or whatever.
Mark's trying to meet his steps for today.
CIA used a futuristic new tool called, I can't read, called Ghost Murmur.
Ghost Murmur to find and rescue the second American airman.
Who was shot down in southern Iran?
Why stop posting all of our cool stuff?
That is why they put it all out there.
That is a great, but you got to flex because it's going to take them forever to try to repeat that.
But yeah, but they got to catch up.
What if we never told anyone about nukes?
What if we just kept it in the tuck?
We never told anyone.
We're like, Yeah, we don't have them.
We got nothing.
Everyone be like, Oh, we're good.
You got to show it to you.
Wait, hold on.
You think people have them?
Yeah, come on.
No one has nukes.
They do, bro, or they could have them.
They could not believe in nukes.
Get out of here!
What angle is this?
Stupid ass angle.
Wait, wait.
Do you seriously believe in nukes or not?
Yes.
Yeah, man.
People go check and make sure and they count.
There's no nukes.
Hiroshima, Nagasaki?
Where's the fallout?
It's over there.
But where's the fallout?
You haven't seen a warped up Japanese, have you?
I've seen a couple.
Now you haven't.
Shohei Otani?
They were doing that before the nukes.
Shohei's 6'5.
You don't think there's a little radiation?
I don't want to say you're welcome.
I don't want to say that because that's not how I feel in my heart.
But we gave him baseball and 6'5.
That's pretty good.
There's one.
One 6'5.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying, give me proof that there's nukes besides those two explosions, which could have been anything else.
Bikini Atoll, the Trinity Test.
Have you been over there?
Have you seen it?
The Tsar bomber in Russia?
I guess I haven't seen it.
I've never seen it.
I went to Hiroshima and the building was all messed up.
The building was like that.
But they seem like the type of people that would like off their disabled.
You think they got some Sparta in them?
Yeah, because it's like everything about them, they got to do it perfect.
So if you're not born perfect, they probably, yeah, let's turn that into some sushi.
Okay.
Now, hold on, They're not making radioactive sushi, bro.
That is, that's next level.
Do you think that's what uni is?
I hated uni, I always hated it.
Me, too.
I probably why because you made it.
You want actual Japanese food, me, well, Americans.
Like, I didn't come here for our shit, I didn't come for barbecue.
No, I'm not gonna say, um, hey, Unagi, I always thought Unagi was too serious.
Where do you want to be?
Like, where would you want to?
If you were a descendant of nuclear fallout, what country would you want to live in?
For me, India.
Why is that?
Hating University Life00:10:01
Because I feel like the more warped you look, the more godlike.
With all due respect, like if you got multiple arms, they're like, yo, Vishnu is back.
Like, even culturally, Vishnu is here.
Yeah.
Even culturally, they would see you or your descendants.
You're rewarded.
Yeah, it's not rewarded.
That's good.
Whereas, like, you're right, maybe in Japan, they wouldn't reward that type of abnormality.
In America, maybe, maybe you'd be like, you'd be a famous TikToker or something like that, but it's not going to be as much as being looked at as a god.
Or like the jungle tribes in South America or some shit like that.
Why do they like that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What do they do with it?
No, you'd probably be like, A god or some type of elevated being, yeah.
Remember, they were saying, Yeah, yes, the uh, the tiger face, you want a little witchcraft in the culture.
If you got abnormalities, you want some witchcraft, yeah.
Because all you have to do is just blink at you, you think I just did some that's it.
But then it goes the other way, though.
I believe the other albinos in where Africa, no, no, well, kind of they over.
Okay, tell me which doctors will try to harvest albinos and use their body for spells.
I get that, no, I get that.
You can't do that, I do get that because we're not that far off.
Say again.
We're not that far apart.
But don't they look like they just look like they're made out of the tusk?
Right?
Because the rhino tusk is everything, right?
That cures everything.
And then you just made a human that's all tusk.
They're poaching?
Chop them up, chop them up.
Ivory?
Oh, God, that's funny.
They're pure ivory.
If ivory is the thing that the culture is like, there is nothing more valuable than this one thing.
And now I don't got to chase a dinosaur down to go get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I could just let this thing grow up to full size.
Yeah, because you were going to make a statue out of the ivory anyway.
I did the work for you.
But the question is, you don't want to take it at veal.
You don't want to take it, it's going to be hard.
You're looking at that ivory and be like, if I let this shit get to 18 years, I'm going to have so much more ivory.
But it's right there.
You might need it.
You might got a cousin that got AIDS.
And then you want to cure that.
But you're like, oh, yo, can you hang on for like 18 years while this thing gets to full growth so we can cure the whole neighborhood?
This is a hypothetical.
I'm putting myself in the sand.
I know Ivory did all that, but yeah.
How do you look this up?
I need to make sure I'm not speaking out of turn.
Yeah, can you really not speak out of turn?
I just need to make sure.
I was worried we were going to speak out of turn when Al called the first lady.
Show!
Show!
Don't put that on me.
I was Mark.
Nah, come on.
Mark Gagnon lives in.
I would never say it.
Yeah, look at that.
Nah, dude.
This is albinos in Tanzania.
Yeah, they're trying to get the witch doctors, which is a hilarious thing.
It's the fear of witch doctors who prize their body parts.
Why'd they put doctor in there?
Like, why are they just witches?
Yo, why is there that's some white shit, ain't it?
That is some fucking white.
They are the doctors, my man, my man.
They're killing albinos and putting them in a soup.
That's not they make them into gumbo.
That's not a doctor, yeah.
That's a chef, that's like a witch chef, but like, yo, calling them witch doctor is it.
Dr. Dre is more of a doctor than a fucking witch doctor.
I believe in all I should not.
No, but what I'm saying, what I'm saying is they heal.
Is that why they call them witch doctors?
Yeah, you come to them for healing, yes, for everything.
You got a spell on you, I got a spell on you, they'll take that off.
And I don't know, the song just popped up.
Did you do a sample in the song?
I did, I did.
Come on, son.
I'm Dr. Dre.
Al might be a genius.
I'm Dr. Dre.
Al is both sides.
That was incredible.
Okay, so okay, the term witch doctor originated in the 18th century with the first recorded use around 1718, created by Europeans.
What the did I say?
It's derogatory, Eurocentric, and inaccurate, and it shames.
or for indigenous shamans, healers, and herbalists.
Ah, bro.
That is definitely, they saw a lot of traditional healers.
Obviously, a witch.
It's a witch.
Why don't we call all Eastern medicine witch doctors?
Why don't we call, like, people who do the, what are those suction things on your back?
Suck docs.
Suck docs.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't do it, Al.
Don't you do it, Al.
Nah, you can't be doctors.
They're too short.
I don't know.
I just feel like you can't take somebody that height seriously as a doctor.
That's just the theory I'm going with.
You guys think blacks can't be stuff?
Whoa, I'm gonna project.
I'm gonna kill myself out of here by talking racism.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, you get out everything.
A sure woman delivered my children.
Son, don't say the N word, bro.
I didn't say it.
I didn't say it.
That's right, that's right, that's right.
My joke, Bomba, you're racist.
Yeah, boom.
What about that?
Bang.
What even about that?
Doctor.
Yeah, okay, okay.
Oh, do we have a new one to drop?
Epstein Queen?
Yeah, the Epstein Queen.
Wait, wait, hold on.
Before we go to this, did we conclude?
Did we get any information about the albino using their body for spells?
Yeah, apparently they're using it.
We got to just, you know, pour it out for the albinos.
Respect to them.
I'll be honest, can they get sun?
Yeah, because you can tan your way out of this, right?
No, I think that's the issue.
Like, they don't tan.
I don't think they tan.
But then, so they're like Irish.
So do they burn?
Like, do they get mad skin cancer?
Yeah, they don't have any melanin.
Yeah, they legit.
So they're damaged by the UV light.
It's a genetic disorder inherited by parents.
And melanin gets sun.
So maybe the witch dogs are just trying to protect them.
In what way?
Like, the sun's going to kill you.
I can do it first.
So it's like an evil spell.
It's like, hey, help me not get cancer.
And the witch doctor's like, I got you.
Taking you out of your misery, you know?
Ma'am.
You think it's miserable being white?
Come on now.
I don't want to break it to you.
Shit is lit.
That was good.
I haven't seen this one.
What is this?
Yeah.
Now, the Lego, I mean, I saw the other Lego one, which is just.
That shit is like three minutes long.
Yeah, I mean, just play a little piece of this one.
Epstein creep Epstein creep Yo Living that scene she says Never friends wear the straight face Live up the fouls got Trump by the balls That's why she was smiling in here And on his justice and Epstein deep while the Germans clicked the rest Oh, she's on TV saying we would never Oh man Okay, hold on pause this real quick Who posted this?
Who posted that?
Yo Yo, that's crazy How many views is this?
He's saying way crazier shit than I did I mean, that show you did.
I mean, low key, I kind of understand why Trump was like, we're going to end a civilization.
Yeah, imagine.
They got the Roblox version of your wife kissing ass.
I'm like, no, we're going to destroy the whole thing.
He's like, we're going for the servers first, okay?
And we're going to get the nukes.
We're going to hit the nukes after, but we got to invade for the servers.
And the song is a bop.
This is like back to back.
Who's the artist?
Yeah, I don't know.
That's Ty Dollar sign, I think.
That might be Ty.
Yo, somebody got to see what Ty been up to.
Nah, don't put it.
Nah, nah, nah.
It's a good song.
It's a good song.
I put it on one of you whites.
Wait, what?
That's another one?
This is a different one.
Oh my God.
Hormuz Hustle.
We can't let this happen.
Pause it.
We got to step it up as Americans.
We are, we're good at propaganda.
We invented it.
We thought we got to do better.
Well, what can we do?
I don't know.
We got to do something like sometimes.
Our shit is ass, bro.
I know.
The best they came up with was when they were taking out some sites.
They were like juxtaposing it with like hits from a football game.
Yeah, I saw that on the other side.
That was the best one we got.
No, decent.
Here comes the boom.
Yeah.
Ass.
Ass, ass, ass.
I mean, I don't know who's.
Apparently, this is an independent studio.
It's a contractor with Iran as a client.
Yes.
The WTF Meter Studios of Russia.
They gotta be American.
They gotta be American because they know what Americans like too much.
I guess.
They have to be American.
Which is a crazy deal.
That Iran hits you up and they're like, hey, do you want to make memes for us?
And I'm like, yeah, 100%.
And are they paying them like $7,000 in post or something like that?
Like, what?
What an insane propaganda idea, Mark.
Who knows how much money he's involved in?
Who could ever think of doing such a thing like that?
I could never do this.
Persia Boy Studios.
He's an Iranian creative entity known for producing viral Lego animated videos.
There's another one, Explosion Studios, I think, is the other one, or Explosive Studios.
And apparently he did an interview recently where he was just talking to me.
He's like, hey, you know, they're a client.
Like, we handle, you know, creative media solutions for, you know, different companies.
Fire.
It's just like, I mean, money's money.
What you mean?
Especially if you're against it.
Let us put a bid in.
Oh, yeah.
Let us put a bid in.
Scroll up.
What is this?
Come on.
In our video, in our video with Mr. Explosive, he appears silhouetted and he's got the colors of the Iranian flag.
And he says the team consists of fewer than 10 people.
So it's a little, it's a Muhammad Pop.
It's a startup.
You know, they're getting it going.
Cottage industry.
All right.
Based off silhouette alone, where do you think he's from?
That guy's white.
Yeah, that guy's white.
That guy's a Caucasian person.
I can tell by the hair and the glasses.
Wow.
Al, can you confirm that suspicion?
Yeah, I think it checks out.
He denies working for Iran.
Now he's confirmed.
Now he said he's totally independent.
All due respect, maybe I got that wrong.
But crazy.
I like that they have them lit with the colors of the fucking Iran flag and shit.
Oh, yeah.
I don't work for Iran.
HIMSS Hair Loss Solution00:05:03
I'm a dime.
What are you talking about?
That's like euphoria.
Wait, wait, wait, what?
It's like euphoria always uses like neon and shit.
Oh, okay.
They're inspired.
Man.
We're just wild.
Man, get us out of this war.
Bro, what are you talking about?
The war.
Coachella happened.
You still talking about the war?
You're right.
My bad.
Yeah, why?
You got to get your head out of there, bro.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Can I just tell you something, bro?
I'm at an age, man, where if someone starts a conversation and it doesn't involve peptides, I really don't want to hear the end of it.
I don't want to hear about Justin Bieber playing his laptop at Coachella.
I want to hear about Ratatouille Tide.
That's what I want to hear about.
Are you getting on the shits?
I cannot wait to get on the shits.
You've been saying that for that long.
I'm saying that.
It's like getting your fucking.
Passport renewed.
It's like, I don't want to go do the whole blood work, do the whole thing.
I need a Brazilian chick that got filled both times.
Now I understand why that industry is so successful.
Exactly.
Because there's all the red tape.
I don't want to deal with that.
Yeah, she comes to your house.
She comes to my house.
Gives you the retta.
Gives you a little filler.
That's kind of an ideal situation.
A little back mouth.
You never know.
Back mouth is crazy because we weren't even saying that.
Back mouth feels like you getting your ass hit, right?
Yeah, that's exactly right.
Sounds like how a gay dude describes back mouth.
Ass.
Ass, yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to say it's back mouth.
What do you call it?
The mouth in the back of your mouth.
No, no, he called it back mouth.
That's back mouth.
He just didn't land to him until later.
Wait a minute, I called it that?
That shit was fire.
That shit was amazing.
Are you kidding me?
Back mouth.
Print it.
Guys, let's take a break for a second.
I recently found out that men start losing testosterone around 30.
Damn.
Yeah, about 1% a year.
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Coachella Performance Experience00:15:18
Now, let's get back to the show.
Tell me about Coachella's.
You didn't see any of this?
I saw Justin Bieber.
You had a great take on Justin Bieber.
I thought this was awesome.
If anyone doesn't know, I mean, we could play like a little clip here, but basically, Beebs is on stage at Coachella and it's just a completely stripped down performance.
It's just him with a laptop on stage, live streaming more or less, and going through.
The comments of people like asking for song requests on the Coachella live stream and then just pulling up videos on YouTube of his old performances and then singing along.
And it's, in my opinion, awesome.
I love it.
How is that awesome?
Tell me why you think it's awesome before you start hating.
I think it's fire for a few reasons.
One, it's like perfectly meeting the moment.
Like right now, stream culture is dominating everything.
The informal kind of hangout, parasocial vibe with being with someone online, kind of like reading your chat, responding, and just being completely stripped down without trying too hard.
Like so much of Gen Z is wrapped around like fear of being cringe or being observed.
And as he's just up there, fully immersed in this new cultural moment where he's just posted up, not doing too much.
And he's basically giving zero.
And he's just like clicking through like Baby and singing Baby, basically singing with himself, the version that all of his fans in the world broadly fell in love with that very first Justin Bieber.
He's like revisiting this 15 year different version with him.
There's nostalgia play.
There's nostalgia.
There's something like beautiful about seeing him reminiscing and appreciating himself when he was younger.
And then he's giving nothing, the audience is going crazy.
And then the interstitials of him like pulling up memes and goofing around, it's like you're watching a live stream on stage in person with him, just hanging out with one of the biggest pop stars of all time.
And let me say, Bieber's also been steeped in different controversies.
People are concerned with like his mental health.
Is he doing okay?
And to see him just like happy and euphoric on stage, like looking back at himself as a kid, being like, man, I love that version of me that was new to this world, that didn't know what was going on, that was, you know, in this industry, that was, you know, scary but exciting.
Balls deep as Selena.
Okay.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Nah, that's his ex.
And looking back on it, just being like, wow, that's he was balls deep.
I don't know if he's deep.
I don't have how does Justin's nuts taste, bro?
Like, nah, so you're telling me you're paying mad money to go to Coachella, and Coachella's known for the over the top performance.
Like, what was the headline?
You're about to watch Jay Z do the exact same thing.
No, he's not.
I bet you'll be completely out.
Jay Z puts on a show.
No, no, no.
People around Jay Z put on a show.
Jay Z is walking around just like that.
But that's fine.
At least you put some effort into it or paid to put some effort in.
This is zero effort.
This is like, yo, I got millions and millions of dollars to headline this shit so I could sit here with a laptop and do fucking just doom scroll with you motherfuckers.
Like, he's not performing.
I'll be honest.
I like effort.
I like effort.
And maybe it's a generational thing.
And I think, yes, I think there is a fear of being cringe for Gen Z for sure.
And I think what happens is when you're afraid of being cringe, you remove yourself from any opportunity to be cringe.
So you stop trying.
Right.
And so, yes.
And I think that I get that there is a version of that.
I think Justin is in this place where it's like, it's not like these people haven't seen Justin.
They've seen Justin a million times.
Is he going to go out there and do all the dance moves and recreate the same performance that he's given him?
Or does he give a different kind of experience?
Because at this point in time, I think they just want to hang out with him.
And he created that hang.
So I get that version.
If your expectation was, I want to see him fucking rock out.
Tear the roof off the place and have the whole spectacle, then of course it's not going to live up to that.
But if your goal was just to relive Justin's life through his music, especially these moments where you first consume Justin, none of us have seen a Justin Bieber concert, but we've seen them all online.
And then he gets, he allows you to replay those emotions the first time you watch baby, baby, baby when he's fucking 12 years old or whatever.
So I understand how it could satisfy in that way, especially when this performance.
Is juxtaposed with all the other Coachella performances that are larger than life, bigger than ever.
And every pop star right now is super big.
Yes.
Right?
Like the Sabrina Carpenter, Benson Boone, like they put on these stadium style performances.
Benson Boone's backflipping, bro.
Yeah.
Just as like, I'm going to sit on this fucking desk, bust out the laptop, and we're going to hang.
And the delta with energy, like he's doing nothing, the audience is going crazy.
To me, that is a more interesting dynamic than a performer going crazy, the audience going crazy.
At least in this moment right now.
I see where you're coming from.
It's just, I'll just say it's not for me because Coachella to me is, hey, you give them a Beyonce level performance.
And that's what I'm expecting.
And this was like, this is just lazy.
I don't, to me, it's like, okay, I can look like, oh, I'm just like being cool.
But this is like, okay, I didn't really want to put the effort into it.
I think Coachella to me is like, I get to be around and hang with famous influencers and fast people.
And he's like, oh, you want to hang out with me?
Let's hang.
You pick the set list.
I have no song planned.
I don't know.
I get it.
Like, you're kind of, Convincing me, I get how people can enjoy it.
So, I think it's two ways.
It's like, because I agree kind of with both of you.
I agree, it's like, I want to see an artist that I really admire and appreciate go and light it up.
Yeah.
Blow my mind.
Yes.
You know, love him or hate him, but like you saw Ye's performance at SoFi and you're like, this is like different.
And a lot of effort was put into this to make it different.
And I appreciate that.
Yes.
And so, there is that version, especially when you're at a place like Coachella where you're like, I'm ready for everybody here to top one another and it's going to be insane.
So I get that.
But there is a version, and like we weren't there where, like, the experience of seeing the crazy light show and all these things from seven different acts in a row, seeing something completely stripped down actually was refreshing and interesting.
And I can appreciate that.
I see it.
So there might be something with that.
But yeah, it's.
Was fine.
I mean, the reaction online was kind of mixed.
People were saying, but they were like, Yeah, it's like kind of BS.
And other people were like, I the people that I knew that went were like, Yeah, it was awesome.
It was like casually, but there was no like expectation.
Also, you need to have a certain amount of gravity, no dress like this.
So, I would assume, bro, that they would like some stripped down, exactly.
Yeah, I get it, exactly.
But yeah, what was I just about to say?
It don't matter.
Yeah, you need peptides.
I need peptides, get on that NAD.
I'm gonna get on that shit too.
But there's, yeah, I don't know.
I'm like, oh, that was it.
It's only a few performers that can even do this.
I think Kanye actually probably could have done this.
No, no, Kanye can't.
Like, there's only a handful of people that have so much gravity and so much mystique and also nostalgia built around them.
Yeah, if you have a long career that was, and you were big, one of the tops, then you could do this.
You can do it.
But like, a new artist can't.
Like, Sabrina Carpenter can't just sit up there and do it because I think.
The experience of the show, she's still kind of selling people on what it is she does and how she does things.
Michael Jackson could literally just sit on stage and like have a conversation, and you could hear the hits, you could dance, he could bring other people on to try to do their best version of a moonwalk, and it would just be like, whoa.
And it's funny you say him.
I like just posted a clip of him because I was, I saw this and I'm like, yo, it's just zero effort.
And then I saw this performance by Michael Jackson, I'm like, Jesus Christ.
Like, it still blows me away today, pause, but like, he is a performer.
Like, that's what I want to see when I see somebody performing.
I agree with you.
Like, that's what I want.
Me, if I'm paying money to go see a show, Coachella, I think people want to see the artists, but I think people want to be at Coachella.
Like, I think Coachella has almost become bigger than the artists.
It needs the artists.
I would say if I went to a Bieber concert and he did this, I'd be a little bit like, all right, yeah, I wanted a show.
Oh, yeah.
If I'm going to a festival and I'm seeing all my favorite bands anyway, I got to see the strokes, I got to see geese, whatever.
And then this happens, I'm like, oh, what a cool inversion of the whole thing.
Like, he's meeting the moment culturally and in the context of the festival is.
That's interesting.
Okay.
I thought you were just giving him the pass, just like, Yeah, it's Bieber.
You could do whatever you want, type shit.
No, I think if Ye was at this, then I think he could do it.
I'd be worried about what would come up on his YouTube.
I think Ye's YouTube would probably have some clips that could be problematic.
There would have to be some stuff cut from the live stream.
There might be some translated speeches that sound, you know, a little crazy.
Yeah.
But that is a good one.
It's like, how do you make your festival show different?
And Coachella is a proper festival in that, like, everybody is in the same space and I think can access all the acts.
It's a proper.
Festival.
There are certain things that, like, when the New York Comedy Festival happens, they call it a festival, but it's not like just little shows happening everywhere.
It's like there's already 20 shows a night in New York.
Like every day is a New York Comedy Festival in that regard.
So it's like this is a different experience.
And I wonder if people start doing this in future Coachella shows.
Oh, now you can't.
Not essentially doing this, but going, oh, I don't need to have the wildest show.
I need to have the most different show.
What I would also say is that I think there's a lot of acts that go to Coachella, especially like acts that can tap into nostalgia that are going, all right, I got to put it all in on this performance and I got to have the best performance at Coachella and I'll lose money on this performance, but then I'll tour for the next two years because people will remember how dope I was.
So I think it's almost like Burning Man is like an advertisement for DJs.
Like you go there, you don't make any money, you do whatever, but you know, if you bring it.
I feel like T. Payne did that.
You remember actually at Coachella?
I think he had a crazy performance.
Like everybody was like left talking about T Paint and then he had a little resurgence.
And then, like, and think about how viral he was.
Like, if you throw down a Coachella and everybody is there and every influencer is there and they're posting the videos and the people are just reposting what they're seeing, all of a sudden you get the viral traction of 10,000 different moments that could have happened over the year all at one time.
Did I bring the Shia LaBeouf thing?
Nah, tell me.
Like, this reminded me of like, watch, like, Shia LaBeouf rewatching his old movies.
Remember that?
Oh, he did, like, a film himself watching everything that he's ever done.
Yeah.
And it kind of gives you that same feeling of like, oh, I'm experiencing this through him, which I think is cathartic for a lot of people.
And people, I think, pointed out the Frank Ocean thing where, like, he did Coachella.
And my feeling is like, it didn't feel like Frank Ocean wanted to be there.
Whereas Beaver seemed like he really enjoyed this.
He was just like, yeah, I enjoy connecting with my fans and, like, reminiscing.
Wait, but did Frank do something similar to this?
I've read exactly what it was.
This was like two years ago, maybe.
But he did, he had this whole elaborate thing.
He had, like, ice.
Skaters and they brought in an ice drink and like made this whole thing.
And then he canceled it all and was like, I'm not doing it.
And then they canned it.
And then he came in late and then like did a couple songs and bounced.
I think.
I hope that's.
I like faintly remember that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want my entertainers to want to entertain.
Yeah.
And I don't know what was going on with Frank and his life at the time, but like I want you to enjoy being up there and I want you to want to share with an audience.
Mouse is itchy.
I think that's wildly entertaining, weirdly.
He's like YouTube's golden child.
He's the artist who like came up off YouTube.
Another great point.
No, I'm talking about.
Frank, maybe not wanting to be there, whatever.
Like, I like this version of it, it's fine.
But, like, I do like when there is an artist that wants to share and they enjoy sharing and they're like treated as like a privilege to share.
Yeah.
That is cool.
Yeah.
To me.
But the YouTube Connect, I think the YouTube Connect's huge.
Like, he is YouTube's biggest artist.
You know what I mean?
He came up off of it.
And all of the people that are there watching, they're like roughly my age, probably, are like, oh, I watch all his YouTube videos constantly.
Yeah.
Consistently.
Like, at parties, you'd put it on.
Like, His YouTube presence is huge for a lot of people my age, and I think that them watching it with him is like so much like it's so connected to them.
Yeah, I feel like hasn't he been doing this?
Like, didn't he just start streaming 247 or some shit like that?
I've seen, I don't know what that is, but I saw him and like Sebastian like cutting it up.
Yeah, like I think he just like Calco and Beaver like did a thing for all of them.
I think he just like live streams 247 in a crib.
I don't know if it's still going on, but yeah, I don't know what that was.
But now I feel like, all right, he just did a version of what he's doing at home, so that's why it felt even lazier.
I was like, oh, okay.
People want dog, but shout out to Bieber because now, if anyone tries to do it at a show, they're gonna look like they're biting, yeah, exactly.
So, all right, can we hit a couple more things?
There's a few other things that I was uh, I was percolating.
What things?
What things?
I mean, SNL, the Brilliant Idiots, which is hilarious.
Oh, did you see that?
What do you mean they did Brilliant Idiots?
They was knocking you, son.
So, Cam Patterson, Marcelo Hernandez, Florida boys, for the record, shout out Cam and Marcelo.
Just want to bring that up, just a couple young Florida comedians, okay, and uh.
It's just interesting.
It's just an interesting fact.
Whatever.
I do it too, so it's fine.
Two young Florida comedians that are amazing.
And they're both on SNL and they do the sketch with Colin.
Can you go back a little bit?
They basically sit down and you can kind of see the dynamic here.
They're called the kids on the back of the bus, like basically young kids that clown each other.
Yeah.
And I don't think he's heard of them.
Okay, play.
Oh, my God.
Who's Grabone?
Oh, Grabone is a friend of ours.
Grabone, he's nuts.
So he's doing the Ligba shit.
I mean, other people.
I mean, other people do ours.
I mean, they do specifically ours.
Black guy, white guy.
They do a bunch of Ligma jokes back to back.
Jokes aside, I don't think this inflation will predicate a noticeable shift in the Federal Reserve.
Yeah, but it does put the Fed between a rock and a hard place because they had to blow inflation while still encouraging economic growth.
The hell?
Are you guys like secretly smart?
Yes, brilliant idiots.
You get tutoring from Amanda Cahole.
She's a genius.
You know Amanda Cahole.
Who is Amanda Cahole?
Amanda Cahole bees nothing.
Telling you.
I'm telling you man, a little bit of brilliant idiot.
So who's who?
So who, in this one, who would be?
I think Cam is Charlemagne, and I think you're Colin Jost.
I feel like I would be Cam.
You think so?
So yeah, because I think.
I think Oh, because of the racial thing.
I think the racial thing is okay, I think the racial thing, and also this moment from Brilliant Idiots, you remember this much fun is this one.
You go out there at Wendy's, Wendy's, Wendy's.
Is this Kenya?
Kenya.
Kenya.
Open your mouth and have these bulls in.
Come on, God.
The shame.
The shame.
He celebrated exactly like how they were doing it.
I'm telling you.
You and Harlow might have got it this week, bro.
I'm just saying.
Eric Swallwell Bull Celebration00:11:13
Nah.
And Marcelo did a good you.
I got to be honest.
I think I'm Cam, man.
I think I'm the honesty.
I think I'm Cam.
No, I think so.
No, actually, you know, I don't know who it would be, but first of all, there's no way this is Brilliant Idiots, but I don't know who it is.
But if Cam gets one off on pause, you're posing a lot this week, man.
Yeah, you know.
It's one of my roots, yeah.
Yeah, I hear you.
But Charlamagne has never got one off.
Never?
That's the history.
That's the lore of Brilliant Idiots he tries every week and he just cannot do it.
And even moments where he's about to do it, he fucks it up.
But he cannot get it.
As brilliant as he is.
But Ken didn't get one.
Yeah, I don't know if Cam got one.
Ken got 10 likes.
They might be one for one.
They might be good.
They might be good.
If they had, no, if they had Cam trying to do it and fucking up, then I'd be like, all right, we got some people that understand culture.
We're not the only ones that make this connection.
There were comments on the video that I saw that people were being like, this is like if brilliant idiots went to high school together.
Like the actual, yeah, it had 20 likes.
Yeah, I think, all right.
Okay, there's a bunch of other shit that I think we should talk about.
A bunch of scientists have been, uh, Killed lately.
Yo.
Which we can talk about that.
Before we go to that.
Euphoria season three with Sydney Swift.
Before we talk about that, this Saturday.
Big, big, big, big.
Akash Singh Radio City Music Hall.
Saturday, April 18th.
Get them tickets.
We're all pulling up.
We'll be in the building.
Okay, the boys will be in the building.
So come say what's up and let's watch the boy live his dreams, man.
So one more time for Akash Singh.
Let's go, Akash.
Let's go grab those.
We'll see you guys there Saturday.
Love you, brother.
Love you, dogs.
I mean, there's a few other things to jump into.
I mean, the Diddy claiming that the freak off was a porn shoot.
And then also the Eric Swalwell stuff is wild.
Tell me about this wall.
Not to get in like a whole political thing, but like just looking at how power works is crazy.
Tell me, tell me.
So there's currently a governor race in California.
And they got all these people in the mix.
A bunch of Democrats are jockeying for it.
And right now, Republicans are leading, I think.
And they were leading at the very beginning.
And people thought, oh, there's no way.
And like they're still like, have a good sizable amount of people polling, being like, yeah, I'm going to vote for the Republicans.
What?
So what do the Democrats got to do?
They're trying to like figure out how to get people out of the race.
Oh, this was told me by a friend that's very plugged in with all the politics.
Okay.
He's like, basically, they got to get people out of the race.
So they're trying to Bernie him.
Exactly.
So they're trying to burn it.
Who are they trying to Bernie?
Eric Swalwell.
So they go to him, they say, hey, Bernie would never.
Bernie would never.
He's a Democrat.
Yeah, but that's what the Dems are to Bernie.
Within their primary, they need the person that they want.
They need the person that they want.
He was leading.
And he wasn't chosen.
He wasn't the one they wanted.
Oh.
So they say, you got to drop back.
He goes, I'm not dropping out.
And they go, You're gonna want to drop out.
I'm not doing it.
Oh, wow.
So, this is the story that was told to me.
This is a pure allegation.
Hey, listen, I like this.
This is a conspiracy.
Can we just name the show Allegations?
Yeah.
Allegation media.
That's it.
So, it was basically this whole situation where they're like, You gotta go.
He's like, I'm not going.
And he is an egomaniac.
So, he knows that he's been doing fuck shit.
And he's like, It's not gonna be me.
I mean, these motherfuckers are crazy.
All of a sudden, some stories start to leak, some rumors start to go around, it starts getting pushed through, you know, Democrat circles.
CNN's covering it, and then Martin Screlly gets a video from someone and says, I have a video about Representative Eric Swallow.
Martin Screlly, the AIDS drug guy, yeah, he's a guy I don't know, yeah, yeah, he had the drug patent and then raised it and then got the Wu Tang album, like that guy, yeah, yeah.
He's a very well connected political operative person that knows everyone kind of about how I know it's so crazy.
I feel like once you're in.
Then it's like you found ways to just stay.
He's savvy.
He knows who to talk to, he knows what to do.
So he gets a video and says, I would love a comment from Eric Swalwell.
And then he posts this video.
Oh, he just drops it.
Oh, that's.
Here's Eric Swalwell's video.
My source says it was taken at his home and the woman is a sex worker.
Oh, nah, you're kissing hoes in the mouth, bro.
Oh, that's the problem.
You're kissing hoes in the mouth, man.
Get out of here.
Son, being in your crib is crazy.
Nah.
You're gonna bring the sex worker to the crib?
Who's the other dude with the shoes on the bed?
Yeah.
Kind of fresh, fresh Nikes, actually.
What is this?
Oh, so.
They doing a little Eiffel Tower situation?
So it's hard to know really what's going on.
It doesn't even really look like a bedroom in a house.
It looks like a hotel room, in my opinion.
Like you got mitered bed sheets.
It's definitely a hotel room.
It's as it was taken in his home.
Can I tell you how I know it's a hotel room?
The way them fucking sheets are tucked in.
That's what I'm saying, right?
The corners.
Only done in hotels.
Nobody tucks their fucking bed in like that.
Also, like the hallway with the mirror, like that.
It just looks like a hotel room.
Again, I don't know.
But he's there's another video where he's like laying with her, and like this is basically from the same chunk.
It seems like there's a longer video, and two clips from it came out.
Yeah.
But if you notice, there's another guy sitting on the bed.
Right.
There are allegations that is another Democrat representative.
Holy.
That's kind of in the mix.
That's one of his close friends.
I don't even want to say his name because, again, this is purely an allegation.
Was this allegedly the dude that he's like on a camel with, and they both don't have shirts on?
I didn't see that picture.
But it might be.
He claimed at one point that it was like his best friend ever.
Now, people that are a legend, that's him.
They were shirtless on a camel together, bro.
Yo, can we.
Oh, I thought they were together.
What's his name?
If you can just scroll down, maybe.
No.
Swabo also likes to party.
He likes to get around.
There's like videos of him.
Yes, that guy.
So, I mean, there's a few things.
One, this whole allegation of like being with a sex worker while he's married and has kids.
That's wrong.
Shouldn't do that.
That's wrong.
And then there's.
Also, Mary Magdalene.
Also, wait, what?
Wasn't she a pro?
No.
You're going to fall for this fucking propaganda against agnostic propaganda.
I thought she was a pro.
No, they had to make you think that she's a prostitute.
Yeah.
That's what they try to do.
Who were they?
What do you mean?
The Romans.
The Romans.
I thought Jesus was being real friends.
The Romans.
I thought Jesus was being real presidential and turned a hoe into a.
Well, Jesus wouldn't care if you're a hoe or not.
Jesus wouldn't care what you did.
Hey, as long as you go along and say no more.
Send no more.
Go forth and send no more.
Come on.
Joey said the president doesn't either.
Go on and send no more.
All right.
Mark Guinness threw this.
So basically, Joey's wow.
This whole thing is now popping out.
He stepped down from the governor race and now he's stepped out of Congress.
Yeah.
Because he had an affair.
Not even an affair, because he cheated on his wife with a prostitute.
Yes.
And then he also was involved with a Chinese spy before this.
The first time I ever heard his name was in 2020 when a story came out that he was posted up with a Chinese spy named Fang Fang.
Oh, this is the Fang Fang guy.
Also known as Catherine Fang.
And apparently, he.
Why are you acting like you know what the fuck you're talking about?
No, I heard about the Fang Fang story.
He loves Fang.
Deadass.
I did, yeah.
I think he just liked the name.
And the story is that he slept with this Chinese spy, allegedly.
Oh, I missed the biggest part of the allegation.
It's not the sexual hurt thing.
There's also, from the New York Times, a staffer, a former staffer that he grieved.
Yeah.
But yeah, he got comped by a Chinese spy.
I mean, he's a wild boy.
He's an egomaniac.
He's a fang.
Fang getting it in.
Yeah.
Low key, low key, it might come down to it where we just need a fucking priest to run the country.
Uh oh.
We just need someone who's not corruptible, man.
Facts.
We need the uncorruptible to be.
Sowing no baggage.
No baggage, uncorruptible.
What are you talking about?
What priest is corruptible?
All of them.
Name one.
All of them?
Name one.
Every Boston one that they had to move around to some other town to fucking another town.
That's in 1900s, though.
That's Boston Catholicism.
They don't understand it.
The Irish, they don't.
The Irish have a hard time.
Yeah, I say all Irish are grapers.
They just drink and just stuff gets away from them.
Yeah, they get away.
Yeah, they kind of off road.
They get away.
They get away.
Irish Catholics.
The Pope can't be president at the same time.
No, I get it.
I get it.
But what I'm saying is we need somebody kind of like that.
If you could be president or Pope, which one you got?
Neither.
Neither?
Yeah.
No, you go Pope.
I'd be Pope 100%.
Yeah, Pope is way lit.
Go in the Vatican archives and look at some old shit.
Find a paper somewhere with a riddle, just hang out with virgins all day.
You know, they're getting it in.
You're doing that with me now.
That's already what you do, bro.
Did I know you was a virgin?
No, you'd already done that.
Oh, you already done that.
Sinning, you already did that.
Sinning, you already did that.
Wow, you already did that.
Yeah, boy.
That's funny.
I remember when he wouldn't admit that on air.
Now he, now he don't get it.
That was no, you always admitted that, you little sinner.
Before that was against God.
We all fall short of the glory, though.
We all fall short of the glory of God.
Yeah, we do, man, but.
He don't forgive that easy.
He does.
What do I have to do that?
Four Hail Marys.
A lot more.
Four of them?
A lot more.
How many more?
Just more.
A couple of them.
All right, all right.
Five communions.
Hold on, hold on.
We got to go to Patreon.
But, like, so what happens in California?
So he was already a congressman in California?
Yep.
No.
Newsom has 14 days once he leaves all the houses.
Just send the house.
Yeah.
To set up a new election for him.
He's an incredibly blue state.
I think Kamala Harris won it by 35% last time.
But he was in the House running for governor.
Yeah.
Do you think you can't?
And then there's a Republican that also had stepped down.
Similar situation.
Tony Gonzalez.
Yeah.
Golly.
But that was from a while ago.
Yes, but he stepped down same day.
He's like, yo, let me just bury my shit under some other guy's shit.
So they left same day.
Kind of a trade.
Eye for an eye.
Oh my God.
But this is how politics works, where it's like these guys are like, like they're like jockeying.
Like it's like chess.
Like you lose a piece.
Like I will take out one of our pieces.
Yeah.
Like it's absurd how none of this is real.
I like this dress.
Life is chess.
Like, there's so much.
Like, I don't know if you don't play chessboard.
Or I've got a fancy new chessboard.
Brand new fancy new chessboard.
It lights up.
It's very simple.
What was their excuse when you gave away that for no reason?
And I gave away that for no reason.
Is there any part of us that thinks that, like, Swallwell, Swallwell is the name?
Swallwell is an Innswell.
Swallwell is an Innswell.
No, but like, the Swallwell was with the Fang Fang girl to finish the rail project.
Is there any, like, they had this high speed rail that they're never going to get done.
Yeah.
And then all of a sudden, this little Fang Fang comes around and she's like, No, we have a history of fucking killing it with rail in America.
Let us take over.
Like, is there a part of it where it's not actually like a bad thing?
Maybe, yeah.
He's trying to get ahead of something.
He's trying to make the fucking rail in the beginning in California.
Rail Project Chessboard Excuse00:01:04
It didn't work.
You think that's why they're, then he started railing?
Facts.
You got a rail for a rail.
You can rail for a rail.
Is that why they're bad drivers, you think?
Because they're used to training.
They're like, Bro, we built the train and now you're pissing cars.
It's like they're good when it's on the track and it just goes in one way and there can't be traffic.
Exactly.
And then we throw them in fucking automobiles where there's all these other things everywhere.
Or maybe they're trying to get us back on the trains.
Make the roads a little more dangerous.
Like now, instead, you're going to use the shit we built.
Say thank you.
Say thank you to Papa.
Boring company.
Boring.
The boring company.
The boring company.
Yeah.
We only let them drive in that.
Is that okay?
That would be, do you think you could do a loop de loop?
Yeah.
If you were going fast enough, you could probably spin around it, right?
One.
Rainbow Road.
Of course.
100%.
Million percent.
And they'll try if there's some.
What's the calcium odds?
What's the calcium?
They drive the Chinese one upside down, just fully get.