Akash Singh and Jessica Sanders dismantle viral rumors regarding their marriage, clarifying Jessica's past relationships were limited to flirting and debunking the "roster" myth. They explain her public affection stems from overstimulation rather than promiscuity, while revealing she worked at Goldman Sachs despite financial struggles. Addressing the "sore butthole" incident, they confirm it involved a consensual misunderstanding with a Tinder date, not assault. Akash further corrects claims of a two-year breakup, stating only a brief pause occurred after he started earning from Patreon. Ultimately, the couple emphasizes their enduring love and faith against a backdrop of intense online scrutiny and cultural misinterpretations. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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The Roster Revelation00:14:28
Tonight on Flagrant, the truth will be revealed.
Marriages will be shattered.
Friendships destroyed.
Nothing will be the same again.
Our guest, once a beloved comedian, has spent the last couple weeks being destroyed, disrespected.
He's been dragged through the mud and he couldn't even take out that tiny little of his and stuff it inside for his own pleasure.
Give it up for our friend here to tell his side of the story.
Akash Sanker.
Brother, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for having me.
You can't imagine what you've been going through the last few weeks.
Tell us what's been on your mind.
What's coming on your heart?
I'm so glad you asked me, man.
It's been really hard for me.
For me.
Hard?
Wait, for a year?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Jacqueline Sanders in the building.
She wants vengeance.
Security is here.
Security is not being hurt.
The Punjabi power.
Oh, my God.
She's abusing the security box.
The bag.
It's absolute pandemonium and chaotic.
Osbounce has brought out a comic.
He wants gas scissors.
He's coming in the peak.
Oh, my God.
Jennifer Lyon.
This is a podcast on a front house.
What are you doing again?
Stay back.
Tonight on Florida.
Let's just get right into it.
Which frat party should my daughter avoid in the mix?
I have a two-year-old daughter.
Which frat party should she not go to?
Shy should avoid teak because they definitely...
Why?
They make you pop that thing crazy.
Definitely spike the drink.
No way.
Yeah, so they got kicked off of our campus.
No way.
Oh, my lord.
Poppin' pussy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's just get some definite.
Yeah, we're gonna, any terms that you might need to know the actual meaning of, Alex is here to break it down.
I thought it was just like dancing, getting dressed up.
And maybe that was my mistake.
Yeah, yeah.
So I acknowledge that.
Look at this.
Big one.
Yeah, the act of getting dressed up, looking fly as hell, wearing a minimum of three inch heels, preferably higher, and dancing your ass off into the lee hours of the morning.
That was what I was doing.
Yeah, this is white people's definition of it.
This is what you learn.
Guys, what do you think Poppin' Pussy is?
You see?
Joey Cursey is not that.
Okay?
You're doing more than security.
That was my bad.
That was my dad.
That was your bad.
A real urban dictionary.
Just give me a call every time.
Anytime we're worried about anything like that.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
As a white, I thought Pop and Pussy was just dancing.
I thought it was like working.
That's what I thought.
Well, I knew that that's what you meant.
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
But like, once the internet makes you a whore, they're looking to Joe.
Joe, Joe, we're doing friends wife.
That's not what for the time being.
That's not life.
What's going on?
We have a Calci market, by the way.
We're in a Calci market.
There's a Calci market that's been made.
Will Akasha Jessley divorce before 2027?
I just want to point that out.
2027?
Yeah, you guys got to go.
Yeah, we got to get away.
We're trying to rebrand you right now, Jess.
Okay, I gotta wait that long.
Can we get some other definitions out of the way?
Yeah, let's get some other definitions.
Allegedly, and you can correct me if I'm wrong here.
Is it true that you said that there was a rotation of guys?
A roster.
Roster.
Yeah, what does a roster definitely?
What does that mean?
What does this mean?
You guys have to understand, have you ever heard of the repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
Never.
I was.
Yeah, I knew that.
His Catholic school was in his living room.
Imagine how repressed he was.
I was a repressed Indian girl that I didn't even watch Jersey Shore in high school because I felt it to be too inappropriate.
So when I got to college, I'm like, oh my God, I can dress however I want.
I can do whatever I want.
You could have a roster of frat boys.
What does a roster mean?
So it didn't actually translate to a roster.
It just meant like two guys I was talking to and flirting with at the same time.
That's it.
That's all.
And when you say hooking up, I think people.
When I mean hooking up, I just meant making out.
Again, like everything I say is so amplified and hyperbolic because it's so like incongruous to who I'm actually, who I actually am as a person.
Right, right.
So you are, you're saying you're a big old prude.
Yeah, literally.
Now, I will be honest, as much as I was heartbroken by what was going on with you guys and definitely with Akash, my brother, there was a little part of me that was like, it would be hilarious to come in here and find out you had a huge roster lying about being a virgin the whole time.
It would have been heartbreaking for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, you waited your whole life to share your virginity with a girl and she threw it to some frat house 20 years ago.
A white dude.
A white guy.
A fucking white guy.
God damn it.
Goddamn, those that five there.
That's bad.
Okay.
Okay.
So no real roster.
Yes.
Because what a roster is, what is a roster, Al?
Yeah, what's a roster?
What was a roster like?
Turban Dictionary, Indian Dictionary, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Turban had a roster.
Okay, Al, what is a roster, Al?
So a roster is a rotation of partners that you would, they would pop their pussy for me.
No, okay.
Is that what a roster would do?
I didn't mean like.
Women on my roster would be popping their pussy.
Oh, I don't even like you saying that.
You're saying like that.
And even those uncomfortable with all due respect.
With all due respect, thank you.
This is a good lesson.
It is a good lesson.
Okay, that's number one to do teacher in Cain Peel.
That's that.
Yeah, he's really explaining things.
Any other questions about the world that you have?
No.
Also, why buffalo chicken wraps every day?
Me?
Yeah.
How do you know that?
You posted it on the internet.
Wait, I don't know this one.
Is that what you call the black guys?
Sorry, guys.
Sorry, guys.
Guys.
Okay.
She calls it a Popeye chicken sandwich.
Okay, wait, tell us, what is the Buffalo chicken wrap?
No, it's just literally, I would just order Buffalo chicken wraps every day for dinner.
I think where the confusion was is like I was just talking about this nostalgia for being in college when it's like you're still a child, but it feels like you're in the adult world and like you're so insulated and you're in this bubble and like everything's just so simple and easy.
And that's more what I was talking about.
Everybody thinks you're a gold digging whore.
Yeah.
Yes, that is.
There's a lot of big ass.
You're a professional here.
You're doing security.
Okay.
You cannot laugh at him calling his own wife a gold digging whore.
Okay.
She told me to shut up.
It's even.
That is fair.
That is fair.
Okay.
Also, like in terms of the gold digging.
Yeah.
Like, seriously.
Do you consider yourself a good gold digger?
Yeah.
Because I invested low and waited for it to go high.
You're a gold prospect.
Yeah, that's not a gold digger.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You're like a, hmm, what is that?
You're like a hedge fund manager.
Yeah, you're like Akash with Bitcoin.
Exactly.
She bought much lower than I did.
She bought the bottom.
She could not have bought it.
That is something that definitely.
To be fair, it's like I was working too in the beginning in porn.
Yeah.
What were you doing?
I was, I worked at, when we met, I worked at Goldman Sachs.
I got a job at Deloitte after I graduated college.
I was a consultant.
Sleeping in until 12 at 12 p.m.
It was a gold digger.
Yeah, I know.
This whole thing back.
I was saying red.
I used to really believe that you guys were poor with his sob stories so we could get Patreon going.
I didn't know you're working at a fucking hedge fund this whole time.
He was spending your money.
Well, I wasn't making that much.
I was making like 70 grand a year in New York City on two people.
But that's good, though.
Yeah, it wasn't bad.
Okay, so then when did you guys get really broke?
And why did you stay with him?
2018.
Okay, do you want the real answer or the fun answer?
I want to know the real answer.
And like, I want to know that, because I heard this beautiful story that Akash told about you guys sleeping on the floor and then like him wanting to give you his North Face or something.
And then you gave it back because you're like, it's not meal meal.
I'm not sleeping in Narva.
You saved your money and got me a meal meal.
Yeah, I'll sleep on the floor with you.
Yeah.
Since 2009, I'm just saying.
No, but you guys were sleeping on the floor because you were evicted from your apartment.
You were moving to New Jersey, right?
This is real.
Basically, and you'd still want to stay with him.
Yeah, I mean.
Why?
I never actually asked.
Why?
No, you know why, bro.
Come on.
Come on.
You got that muffin top.
Yeah, you got that loud.
Yeah.
Okay, the real answer.
What is loud?
But it is dick smells.
Oh, that dick.
Because once you...
Yo, Kurt.
You guys are professional security.
What if I break out?
Come on.
You need to make sure.
Okay.
No, but for real, you got a stink dick husband sleeping on the floor.
Like, what's wrong with you, man?
Like, you're supposed to be a gold-digging whore according to the internet.
That's what I'm saying.
There was like so many red flags early on.
But why did you stay?
That's.
Okay.
I stay because I felt like as soon as I met you, it was love at first sight.
I loved you.
Like, I don't know.
I just felt like, and maybe like you feel like that when you guys met your wives or your fiancé, it's like, you just like know when you have that special connection.
It's like, okay, like God picked this person out for me.
And like everything he did from top to bottom, like his character, his integrity, his personality, like I just like loved everything about it.
So I was like, okay, like I don't want to just leave because we're going through a hard time because I really believed in like his potential, like just like you did.
For sure.
You know, because you obviously you were more successful than Akash like in the very beginning and stuff.
And now you guys, yeah, whatever.
And you guys believe that he was incredibly brilliant and talented, but also just an amazing soul and an incredible person.
Exactly.
But I just know, I also knew that about him, that he had like ambition and this work ethic.
So I was like, okay, like.
Yeah.
So we're going to go through this bumpy time.
But I was like praying harder than I ever prayed just that we would get out of it and like something would resolve.
And I was just hoping that.
And it worked.
Those prayers worked.
Yeah.
And you haven't prayed for his balls to change.
I never prayed for that.
It just shows me that you might like it.
It's like Vegemite for Australia.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's acquired.
Women are bigger than pheromones.
Yeah.
There is a way that that just kept you in some primal.
Maybe it's like carnal smells.
Why did I say carnival smells?
What's that?
Why are you doing that?
That is crazy.
Yeah, what is that?
Carnival smells would be better if you like funny.
Okay, the other thing that we saw these videos of was the ducking the kisses.
That was those are, listen.
These ones pissed me off.
That I'm guilty of.
I'm guessing that's what I'm saying.
These ones pissed me off.
And I didn't like it one bit.
And I need you to explain yourself immediately.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
We need to know.
Honestly, I also can I just say that I would watch the videos and I would die like as a friend who loves him.
I would die laughing because they did it.
They edited it so perfectly where like he's going in and then scraping.
It just went alas.
But he's already got his lips pursed so he got to commit to the kiss.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We got to check out the shifty edit right there.
So tell us about the duck.
Do you always dunk his kisses when there are not people around?
No, not when there aren't people around, just when there are people around.
And I never even explain yourself.
I didn't know that I did that.
Tell us why.
I didn't know that I did that.
So I really sat and thought about it.
So I think it's a few things.
I think it's like...
I really sat and thought about it.
Yeah, because I was like, okay, maybe it's like the repressed Indian girl thing where it's like, I get a little bashful.
I do get a little shy despite what the internet thinks.
Most Indians do.
I'm the I think I also get overstimulated because Akash does it a lot, like every 30 seconds.
Like a little child.
I get it, honestly.
That's why I grabbed your chin so you couldn't move my face, though.
Who's Mike, Mike?
Oh, sorry.
Okay.
Yeah.
Suck that off you.
Okay, so it is a little bit overstimulating for you.
Yeah, it like regulates him, but it kind of overstimulates me.
And like the videos people have seen are like the proposal videos, they're like already overstimulating.
Okay, so here's the thing that I think is like very relate.
I think the relatable thing is not wanting to make out with your partner in front of your entire family.
Yes.
But most people just do it because they're like, oh, I don't want my partner to feel embarrassed in this moment, even though they're like, ugh.
And you're just like, you just feel the uh.
But I do think it is, I do think it's relatable, though, to have that sensation of like, I don't want to be intimate around my like brothers, sisters, or mom, dad.
Yeah, exactly.
I think that is re that, I think that's relatable to people.
Yeah.
But most people just do it and then do a quick one.
Like my wife will just give me like a quick smooch and then go back to doing that.
I don't know our parents kissing ever.
So it's like so foreign to us.
This is an interesting thing that a lot of the internet might not understand, but it's like your family, your parents were not like romantically in love at all.
And would you say yours?
You could cut romantically.
You know what I mean?
Were they both arranged?
Were the marriages both written?
And sometimes arranged marriage, it's a free golf.
They love fucking all the time.
Yeah.
Common.
Probably.
Probably.
But they don't show us.
Even kids don't see it.
Exactly.
Thank God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Our kids are going to see it.
They're going to see it.
Now, especially the internet has shamed her into not dusting.
So now she got no excuse.
Yeah, that's true.
Me one.
Rhode Island Comedy Show00:02:32
There we go.
Okay, she too.
Well, so yeah.
Can we settle something for the internet?
Yeah.
Well, you kiss Akash right now.
I don't even know if I want to see it.
It's on my lips.
Okay.
Groove everybody because I'll hear it.
Bring that out over here.
Yeah.
He goes on and done for the field.
Pleasant feels.
Oh, shit.
It was overstimulating.
It was overstimulating.
Cross his legs.
Shows or show.
I've won on the books.
There's one single one.
We'll be back March 28th, 2026, Providence, Rhode Island.
Okay, it's part of the Rhode Island Comedy Festival.
We will be out there.
We will see you guys for a very special night.
Again, this is the only date that is on the books.
Yes, I might be popping into these comedy clubs in New York City.
Yes.
The rumors are true.
I might be up in there and out of there.
Yes.
But as far as the road goes, this is the one that we have booked.
I'll see you guys, Providence, Rhode Island, March 28th, 2026.
That's all.
Also, guys, we're adding shows all over the place.
Thank you guys for helping me support my gold digging.
Wife, we have a fifth theater show in Toronto that we are adding.
Thank y'all so much.
That's fucking incredible.
Sixth show on Irvine that we're adding this Sunday.
Uh, we also announced Radio City.
Oh, we're also adding a show.
There's a casino date, Foxwoods Casino, January 24th, the day after the Wilbur.
I'm excited.
That's going to be in Mashantucket, Connecticut.
All those dates and a bunch more.
Akasing.com, Radio City, still got tickets left.
Go cop those.
I love y'all.
Thank y'all so much.
Hello, people.
My name is Mark.
I'm going to be on the road.
I'm going to Fort Wayne, Indiana.
I'm also going to Chicago, Hoboken, New Jersey, Salt Lake City, Washington, D.C. to be announced, and Charlotte.
And then, of course, we're doing our show every month in New York City at Maryloo.
We're doing it on December 16th.
It's a great time.
And I will see you.
Why does it say Washington, D.C. to be announced?
This is TBC.
Yeah, we got to get the ticket link.
It's a, you know, we're adding shows probably.
They're going to be sold out.
It's going to be a big theater, maybe an arena.
I don't know.
We got to talk about it.
On your website, you're announcing dates with no link.
Yeah, we got to see the, yeah, just you got to keep the people waiting or wanting.
I just, yeah, I'm just curious.
Always leave them wanting more, right?
So whenever we add this arena, I'll see you guys at the show.
God bless you all and good evening.
Night.
You didn't expect to see me here, but I too have an announcement.
I'm launching my new show, AM Mornings.
We're live every Sunday at 11 Eastern.
It's called It's a Call-In Show where we discuss the biggest topics.
Epstein Files and Orgy Talk00:12:45
What are you doing to me?
I'm kidding.
I'm supporting him.
You don't blame him.
They're not doing anything.
They're doing little sign signals.
No one's doing anything.
Just keep going off the dome.
It's a call-in show where we discuss the biggest topics of the week.
Join us.
Join us and have your say.
Here's the catch.
There's no anonymous trolling.
No hiding behind an anime avatar.
If you got something to say, you better show your face, bitches.
Every Sunday at 11 a.m. Eastern.
Peace.
Oh, my God.
Listen, that was heartbreaking for me.
Now I'm feeling for Jesse.
What an asshole this guy is.
To humiliate his wife in front of millions and millions of people.
It was an active bitch.
But can I just say there's so many TikToks where I talk so positively about him?
Yeah, but why does that go viral?
Yeah.
Positively talking about people.
Yeah, but I was just saying, I've like found so many TikToks where I was seeing so many amazing, uplifting things, but they didn't grab on to that.
That will never, the internet will never reward positivity.
Yeah, that's true.
Lesson learned.
Lesson learned.
Well, that is, that is the tricky thing.
But it is, it is a weird thing.
It's like when you share your life, like as a couple publicly with the world, you know, and rough.
You guys have like, you guys have like idiosyncrasies that are kind of different from a lot of couples.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like Aaron Lee.
Bro, the orgy thing was fucking that shit was crazy.
I even watched it and I was like, so break us down.
I need an explanation.
Has the orgy happened?
So, okay, no, no, it hasn't happened.
Okay, no, I still only fuck one woman.
That's what I thought was what I thought was missing in the whole orgy combo is that he also gets to get some side.
I could have doubled my body count.
Yeah.
Now, would you have let him get some side in this hypothetical orgy?
Of course.
Everyone should be included.
Nah, but Akash wants the dude.
The dude.
You think he can handle all 10 inches of Nav?
You can take Nad and Av taking it.
Come on, Nav's shorter than me.
Who taking it?
Oh, bam, bam, bam.
Nav at the bottom.
The dick dragging on the carpet.
Collecting dust.
Shout out, Nav, bro.
Shout out, Nav, you fucking homewrecker.
Okay, what the fuck was that joke?
Because I think for a lot of people, myself included, like, I saw that and I was like, why would she even joke around about that?
Yeah.
With Akash there.
And like, what was the backstory?
While looking back, like, it's been pointed out to me, and I get that.
I feel like for us, I think I learned so much of my humor from Akash, not to like justify it, but just to explain, like, oh, if I say these absurd things, it's so funny because it's not who I actually am.
Right.
But I kind of forgot that like the internet doesn't know all these multi-dimensions of my personality.
So they're just seeing this one thing.
Right.
So the orgy joke started with like Akash being like, oh, Nav's really hot.
Like Nav would, Akash would show Nav's picture to his trainer or whatever because he's like really like, yeah, ripped or whatever.
I will say also, if she had a body count, I would have been like, hey, cut that.
But because she doesn't, and I know how like innocent she actually is.
Oh, you are a virgin?
So that's true.
That's real?
I wasn't a virgin until I met him.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Good to know.
Yeah.
And if she wasn't, that body count thing, I'd have been like, what are we doing here?
Right.
Because I would have been insecure about it.
But I can be not that I'm so secure, but with that joke, I'm like so secure.
Oh, I absolutely would feel insecure.
And I think stupidly, I was like, oh, it's an orgy.
So it's all of us.
It's not like.
That is stupid.
Yeah.
I said, you're being aggressive.
It's not a roti.
No, we're not doing it.
That is stupid.
Don't let me get other pussies.
One of our fans asked us, would you guys have an orgy?
So I just said, oh, I'm actively trying, like, as a job.
Because I just feel like...
Can I give you a piece of advice?
Okay, okay.
If you clearly see that I'm the one commenting those things from you guys, answer it on the podcast.
If it's Andrew Schultz asking, so you guys are going to have an orgy on the podcast.
You'll have to react to that in real time.
Akash was lying yesterday.
He was like, this is so annoying.
This whole orgy thing.
Like, I can't even cheat without her being there.
Yeah, that's crazy, dude.
Too much quality time.
That's just something differently.
You know what I mean?
But how come you can have a joke about outsourcing hand jobs and blowjobs?
But aren't you cool with the hand jobs?
Yeah.
You're cool with him just getting a hand job massage.
Totally.
Are you act?
Yeah, I know.
Yes.
I've said that.
It's less work for me.
I don't.
Can you talk to our wives?
I don't know.
I tell you why I don't believe.
You made her horrible decisions.
Yeah.
You guys are like, dude, I think your girl will be down.
She keeps saying how pretty Weezy is.
And I was like, even then, I was like, no, the fuck.
She's all talk.
She's all blustered.
That's why I haven't tested the hand job.
Cape for Tiger.
She's a, she's a, but yeah, a fucking, she's our dog.
She's a yapping little dog behind a fence.
Nothing's going to happen.
There's no bike.
All bark.
No bite.
So you would say that, but in reality, if he actually did go get it.
Okay, like, let me think about it.
If you actually go get it.
Yes.
Like, I think it would bother me like 30%, but I feel like 70% would be like, okay, whatever.
I put you through a lot the past couple weeks.
Like, he deserves it.
I know it.
I don't care.
I feel like I owe it to you.
But you kind of deserve it.
Yes.
And we're going to be supporting you.
But she just wants to do it.
Wait, she can't be prettier than you.
Yeah, she just can't be prettier than you.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, that's not going to, yeah, unless you go.
That's not going to happen.
Yeah.
It's going to be an old Chinese lady.
My also, my justification for the hand job is it's emotionless and it's a it's a it's just like a little thing after a massage shirt okay yeah that's a great i mean on board flat fire i also like the fact that you're just it's just less work for you yeah and i know your day is full of Well, let's get a counter argument.
Let's get a counterargument, okay?
Because I think that was inappropriate and that was uncalled for.
So, will you go ahead and dismiss this and explain yourself on the recording?
All right.
Look, my client in this case is a lot of fun.
Can you be Jessica's lawyer in this moment?
Jasline cooks.
She cleans.
She maintains her home on a monthly basis.
Is that true?
Yes.
There you go.
Not by me specifically, but yes.
Yes.
And you also will find people, but not you.
Schedule.
Someone got to manage that.
We all have cleaning people.
Yes.
Yes.
I like how you call them cleaning people.
That was very politically correct.
That was.
That was.
But do I not take care of Happy like he's my son?
Of course.
And I go on the road, I come back, it's clean.
I don't know if you hire somebody or if that's you, but every time I come back, it's clean.
I hire someone, yeah.
Really?
Without me knowing?
Now I feel betrayed.
That's how you did something.
See, everyone's hiring people.
You know what I mean?
Hand jobs, cleaning.
It doesn't matter.
Everyone's got something.
Outsourcing works.
If there's one people on the planet that understands the value of outsourcing, it should be Indian.
This is exactly.
Yeah.
Okay.
What else?
What else was like super more files?
Yes.
What else is part of.
Oh, they called it the Akash files.
Yes.
They released the Akash files.
Equivalent to Epstein.
Let's think.
Let's think about it.
I'm glad you asked.
You're the victim.
You are.
That's what I'm saying.
It's Epstein files, isn't it?
Yeah, but you're the girl.
I know.
She's Epstein.
Yes.
The Epstein files.
The Epstein files.
Yes.
Okay, what else?
What else was there?
Tell me something.
Yes.
Because it's been bothering me.
I love the this is so great with the glasses.
Great character work.
I'm sorry to break it.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Silence.
Tell me something.
When Akash is sick, how do you behave?
Ooh.
She's good, actually.
I am good.
Oh, my wife is horrible.
There's an undertone of irritation after like day two where you can tell she's like, okay, that's just two days.
Okay, can I just say I feel like you guys are a little bit like you guys exaggerate a lot and just know us.
And for context, we exaggerate.
Yes.
Ridiculous.
Literally.
Oh, you think everything's wrestling?
Do you think that's a good thing?
Everything's a joke?
You think we're just going crazy?
We're not taking any chances here.
Do you see our security?
You know what the fuck you're capable of, Jislene?
But like for me, like an hour before my emergency gallbladder surgery, my stomach was killing me.
And remember, I had to interview Blau for journalism school and I still interviewed him because I didn't want to reschedule.
So I feel like women are just built different.
We're built to withstand suffering.
Yes, you are.
That is.
So we don't withstand y'all.
Yes.
That is our suffering.
That is a great point.
There you go.
Yeah, yeah.
We have different types of suffering.
Physical pain, you guys are much better at handling.
But yeah, if you heard how often we have to hear very different things.
Did I tell you all this?
That like my wife asked me to do something before I got into the apartment.
She heard the elevator going up.
Before I typed in the code in the elevator, I heard, Andrew, can you?
And I just, I pushed one and went right back downstairs.
No, I'm not doing this.
I'm not doing this right now.
Let me get into the fucking house before you tell me what to do.
Look, this is the Schultz files, okay?
Yeah, sorry.
It's hard to go.
Go, go, go.
I sense that you're avoiding the question.
Yeah.
Is it true that on August 18th, 2025?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I made that data.
You said that when Akash is sick, you hate taking care of him.
Yeah.
I mean, do I like it?
No.
Why would anyone like taking care of a sick person?
That's a good point.
Like, I'm just being honest.
And maybe it is abusive autism.
Don't let her kill you.
I don't know why anybody would do that.
You know, nurses, doctors, doctors.
I mean, granted, they're compensated.
Yeah, that is actually, they're getting paid for it handsomely.
Handsomely.
Yeah.
But if somebody's not happy about it, yeah, sometimes.
You meet enough nurses.
You're really like, yeah, they are pretty pissed off.
Y'all enjoy it.
Y'all don't enjoy this.
Yeah, it is one of those things.
You just got to fake it.
It's like kissing your husband in public.
You just gotta, you just gotta fucking fake it and be like, I love doing this.
I love nurturing you back to health.
That's what I want.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then you get the big reward afterwards.
Okay.
It's like when Akash's birthday comes around, I have to pretend that it's like so special.
I don't even ask for this.
The one day.
Yeah, you do.
The one day of the year that I have to like be totally selfless.
Oh, yeah.
Which is really hard for me.
Jessica, you're doing a horrible job right now.
Jess Leene.
Just when we think we've gotten you out of it.
Take that for me.
Go back in.
Go back in.
Okay.
You dig the hole deeper.
Okay.
His birthday is a great day.
Yeah.
And we love his birthday.
Yeah.
Which day is it?
Okay.
All right.
You passed.
You passed.
A question for Aka.
Yes.
These files leak.
Yeah.
The internet's in ablaze.
You quickly flee to India.
International borders.
Yeah.
You go to a different nation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you explain the impetus for this trip?
I was trying to get away from her, but she followed me.
She dragged you down.
Why did you guys go to India so immediately?
What happened there?
Unfortunately, we had planned the trip like two months earlier.
India, Dubai with her mom, Thanksgiving with my mom.
That's what whores do.
They hang out with their fans and moms.
You know what I mean?
What a horse thing to do.
Inconvenience.
You go on a religious pilgrimage.
Yeah, you guys went on a religious pilgrim temple with their bars on.
Did they see you annihilate you in?
They were like, not this for half hours.
I wouldn't catch the sentence.
I couldn't.
You have to walk through water when you get there.
They actually made her roll around in the water.
She's so filthy.
They had to cleanse you.
Such a filthy person.
Okay, fun.
Okay, so you go, oh, is this the place?
It was actually, yeah, it was beautiful.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
What is this place called?
The holiest site in Spain.
It's called, yeah, in Punjabi, they say their bar sai or the golden temple.
It's like, cause it's literally made out of gold.
Oh, my God.
That's actually gold.
You would actually really like it.
Mark would really like it.
And this is in Palja.
Yeah, in Amritzler, yeah.
Oh, wow.
And then I had never been.
So we had planned this trip away.
Wow, look at this.
Can anybody go in the water?
Acorns Investing Scandal00:03:00
Yeah, like you do like a Miles.
What racism is in your racism?
There's no room in this disgusting in this court.
That laugh right there was racism.
And we know I didn't set them in it.
I asked if you could go in the water.
I didn't ask if we could wash Akash's balls.
That would be the front of the board.
That would be inappropriate.
I can't say that.
Why were you laughing at that?
It's a lot of clean water in India.
Wait, what do you mean?
It's just one damn place.
That water is clean.
You're crystal clear water.
It's a lot of clean water in it.
Wow, Miles.
This guy is a real people.
Do you see who your husband hangs out with every day?
Yes.
Bad guy.
Excuse me.
Kurt, what is going on back there, fellas?
Wow.
Hold it together.
Hold it together.
All right.
All right, guys.
Let's take a break for a second, man.
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All right, guys, let's take a break for a second.
All right.
Favorite holiday movie.
Alex, what's your favorite holiday movie?
Elf.
I was going to say Elf.
Have you seen Home Alone?
It's Home Alone.
No, Fannel.
Elf is better.
Home Alone.
I like that.
Love Actually.
Great.
Love Actually is great.
The holiday.
Have you seen the holiday?
It's a fun time.
Die Hard.
Die Hard is, I've just watched it on the plane.
Awesome Christmas movie.
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Romantic Expectations vs Reality00:15:09
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Let's get back to the show.
Okay, so you go to this temple.
It's beautiful.
You're able to pray.
Is Akash fully converted to Sikhs?
No.
He's getting there, though.
She goes to the Munder probably.
She makes me go more than I make her go.
She's like, we're going to the Golden Temple.
We should go with the Gurdwara.
We should also go to the Munder.
And I'm kind of like, I'm tired, dude.
Let's just do one.
But which one would you do?
I would do the Munder.
The Munger.
Over the Gurdwara?
No.
But you get free food at the Gurdora.
Yeah, the Munger.
We do get free food.
You see the Munger.
Mark knows.
He just did a video.
Yeah, we had the food at your wedding.
That was great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All the peanut butter stuff.
What was it?
Which part?
Oh, the prashad.
Yeah.
It's brown sugar, ghee, and flour, like mixed together.
She's actually made it non-cooking ass bitch.
You could make that team of this uselessness.
With all due respect, you got to say it with all due respect.
I guess it's your horse.
What's on the internet was right about everything.
Golding a horrible woman.
Okay, so you can make all these things.
You can make all these things.
Yeah.
So you're presenting this version of yourself online that's not true.
But you're actually a trad wife.
I was committing to this a bit because I thought that that was the funny thing to do, but I'm not a comedian, obviously.
You're not fooling us.
Yeah.
All right.
Actually, funny.
All right.
Let's rank Asian people.
Okay.
This is not human.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Yeah, don't.
Don't do that.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Because we can't.
Some of these questions she might answer and then she might get in trouble in a different way.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Black people.
Okay.
Nope.
Not that question.
You remember this?
So this is, but people always say like that Mondays and stuff will say she's just like my mom.
And I'm realizing what you remember my mom, you ask her anything and she'll be like, no, I don't want to answer that.
And then she'll answer.
I'm realizing she does the exact same thing.
Maybe that's why they get along so well.
But if you ask these questions, she will answer some of that.
That's inappropriate.
Your mom hit me up when you're up.
Your mom hit me up when you guys were going through it.
Oh, yeah, dude.
She was like, I know she told me.
She's like, I know.
She was like, I told him my daughter-in-law is so nice.
She said, she's like, I'm not.
She's so sweet.
I was like, oh, I don't know.
She's like, I promise she was a virgin.
I promise.
And I was like, I'm not getting involved in this at all.
She's like, I know.
I can smell it.
I was like, what is that?
We held up the sheets.
This was pure.
But she was working PR for you.
I just want to let you know.
I never doubted it.
I never doubted it.
She was going to type a comment on the YouTube.
She had it, sent it to me.
Yeah, a long one.
I was like, you don't need to do all this.
Yeah, that was probably the best.
What do you guys say?
Some people say this is a whole PR stunt for you to sell tickets and for you to.
Ooh, is that rather it be a PR stunt?
Yeah.
Is that a narrative?
Yeah, so that's it.
Oh, that now you're a couple videos of saying it's like a very strategic PR stunt.
I don't know how.
I wish I cared that little about my wife's ripping ticket.
I wish they lean in, lean in, say you're going to kiss at Radio City.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kiss reveal.
Kiss revealing Radio City.
We sell at Radio City, we will make out our core thoughts.
April 18th.
18th.
Now we're talking about April 18th radio.
A post snuff.
Okay, fire.
Into this.
I'm into this.
Have you seen any memes or content that you guys thought were funny?
Aisha Chicken Curry.
That was that.
We got to go through the funny.
Objectively good.
I also like Aisha Curry.
Yeah, yeah.
Dig in the hole again.
Dig in the hole.
I can see your point.
I can see your point.
What about Jada Pinkett's thing?
That one hurts a little, but it's funny.
Okay, what other ones were good?
I thought Ghisline was hurtful.
I didn't like that one at all.
Yeah, that's what I was doing.
Yeah, you said because she told me, she goes, every time she said it, she would go, they're calling me Ghisline.
And it really hurts my feelings.
But she couldn't say it without laughing every time.
The red dot table talk was good too.
Red dot table talk was good.
I saw a funny one that was.
Actually, I thought it was very disrespectful.
It said, call her daddy, more like call center daddy.
That's good.
That's really good.
Unfortunately, that's pretty good.
So cheers.
But it still pissed me off.
I saw one with you making out with the dog.
They were like, man, she'll kiss the dog and not Akash.
That's true.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
I never just kissed him.
Now, would that have something to do with the fact that there's no romantic connection between you and the dog?
Yes.
Yes.
He's my child.
He's my son.
So don't think about it.
So you would smother your son with kisses?
Yeah.
That makes sense because it's not romantic.
Yeah.
But when you kiss Akash, there's like real horniness about that.
He's daddy.
He's just like this.
Akash's daddy or what?
Yeah.
Zaddy.
What's his favorite position?
Oh, you guys got a lot of stuff.
You don't have to answer it.
You don't have to answer.
I don't know what I got to know.
So you guys, this is how comfortable.
No, I wouldn't think.
No, I can't turn his cheek.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, was there, before we wrap this up, was there anything that you saw?
Was there anything that, like, obviously all the things I imagined made you feel bad?
Was there anything that specifically bothered you?
I mean, I think people talking about the sore butthole story because that was more kind of like an assault story, but I didn't want to label it as such because I didn't think it was super traumatizing and I had already shared one.
And I feel like the internet has a quota for girls of like how many assault stories they could share, regardless of if it's true or not.
Like, obviously, I think.
You think they're going to be like, oh, every story she tells me.
Yeah, that's why I didn't want to do that.
That's why I was like, oh, this happened.
I didn't really say it's okay.
So what happened, if you don't mind saying?
Well, I mean, so I was living in San Francisco working on a ship thing would happen there.
Not shocking at all.
This is like when Tinder first came out.
There was no bumble.
There was no hinge.
I met this guy on Tinder, whatever.
Like we were like, just feeling like the vibes.
And I stupidly was like, oh, you can sleep over, but like not really wanting to hook up that much.
Because again, for me, like I was just like, okay, maybe we can make out and just like whatever and cuddle.
But then I guess he like wanted.
Was this guy Indian?
No, he was like way different.
He took it very differently.
And yeah, I've learned this translation.
Wait, what do you mean?
An Indian guy might understand what an Indian girl means when he says we're hooking up.
It doesn't mean we're fucked.
There's something concerned about it.
I think most American.
I was thrown off by her inviting him over.
Yeah, that was...
Usually means, oh, we're fucking.
No, I know.
That was, again, stupid decision on my part.
I was like 21.
So it's like, I really just like, I don't know, like I just was making bad decisions all around.
So it's like, but I was like, okay, like, we'll kiss whatever.
I don't remember.
Honestly, I don't even remember too much, but I just remember him like trying to like sneak a finger.
And I was like, no, no, no, we're not doing that.
But like then the next day, like it was like kind of feeling sore, but it wouldn't, like, if it had been anything else, it would, you know, that would have been a whole other story.
It would have been like, you would have tearred something, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it was just like that.
So this was a creep pervert that was trying you.
And the internet ran off with this crazy narrative of something completely different.
Yeah.
Yo, security, you got to find those guys.
Yeah, we got to get them.
I would love that.
Can I beat this guy up?
Probably not.
No, you can.
You can outsource that.
Yeah, outsource.
I'm not scared.
You got to characterize.
Get the rose to his head.
You got to.
Confiscate him.
Anything else?
What other things popped up?
You got to get it all out.
Yeah, we need to get it all out.
We need to purge this.
And I'm not going to be happy until we figure it out.
Oh, the dermatologist video.
No!
That one pissed me off.
That was outrageous and completely uncalled for.
So tell us why you were showing your cheeks to a guy and ask him if he single.
To a single Indian doctor.
Can I just give the whole lore?
Okay, looking back, I get it.
It was stupid.
I was being stupid, okay?
But we all make mistakes.
But this is a good point.
Technically, we do.
Yeah, so what happened was I actually fell in Pilates class.
I fell on my ass.
Me and Atkash happened to have an amazing romantic weekend together.
Where?
What position?
Where?
Hold on.
It was in New York City, just whatever, enjoying life.
And maybe we had just gotten the rose toy too.
So it was like also really fun.
This is inappropriate.
Is it a toy for sexual things?
Yeah.
Yeah, it makes things very easy and patient.
Whoa.
You'll never have to go down again.
But it's not penetrating.
This is Akash's side parlour.
This is my outsource.
You are an enigma, though.
Whoa.
No, no, no.
Like, you're so that's a word, right?
Just the energy is crazy.
The hard R Hotel.
Okay, an enigma.
Okay.
Oh, God.
It's not.
Hey, so it's different.
What is?
Oh, chill out.
Chill out.
There's a woman here.
No, no, no.
I use that one.
Nothing goes inside.
That's all I'm going to do.
You don't get it.
You don't have to say that.
You're comfortable sharing this.
Yeah.
But then there's other things you're not.
Because I also feel like this could help girls out.
You know, I'm on an SSRI, so sometimes you need like a little boost.
So why not?
Yes.
This is, but this is why I think that there's confusion.
I'm confused.
Because to feel comfortable talking about that, but then also not feel comfortable saying sexual things.
That's where the brain goes.
What I have to make up something.
I don't know.
It's hard for me.
I mean, I just am existing.
I'm not trying to like the only thing I try to do is just be myself on TikTok, but like 10 times extra.
And again, like not to justify what I feel like.
I've been with Yakash since I'm 22, and I feel like I've learned so much of my humor from him, my personality from watching you guys.
I've hung out with so many comedians, so I'm like, oh, like be extreme, be funny, as long as your actions are a good person.
You know what I mean?
So I'm like, oh, I can say whatever I want.
Don't you blame this on us.
No, no, Jazz.
I need context.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm not blaming anybody.
Okay.
So you were saying you guys had a really horny weekend with your toy.
Yes.
Okay.
And so what happened was, as a joke on TikTok, I showed the bruise.
Like not like I didn't show my full ass cheek, but I just show a little bit.
Because again, like repressed Indian girl, I'm like, oh, I can dress however I want as long as I don't actually do anything.
So I'm like, okay, you know, show, tell me you had a good weekend with your husband without telling me.
Show the little bruise.
Rishi, who's my dermatologist and my brother, amazing like practitioner.
He was like, I've gone to him for hyperpigmentation.
It really bugs me.
And he's like, hey, I just want to let you know if you don't treat this, this is going to pigment.
And then he knows he's going to have to deal with me later.
Like, please, can you get rid of the scar?
So he's like, I would just treat it like ASAP or whatever.
So I'm like, okay, perfect.
I'll come in.
And then again, me being stupid, like, because I want to go on double dates, I'm like, oh, he's single.
And I'm like, having like this like tongue-in-cheek thing of like kind of alluding to me and Akash having sex, even though I actually found Pilates.
So the whole thing was taken out of context.
Sorry, bro.
I never said I had strong dick.
That's fair.
If anything, farming for me.
That's fair.
But did that make more sense to the context?
Yes, of course.
But at the same time, the issue is always like people's perception.
Yeah, the perception.
I think the big disconnect with you is like, and also there's a version with both of you.
Is it you guys are so fucking innocent because you've never been with anybody.
So when you say weird sexual things, you think it's absurd.
Yeah.
But you are unique in your innocence with each other.
I think that was the mistake I made is like thinking that people would understand that.
They will not.
Yeah, they won't.
Because the immediate reaction to anybody like who's had, because Alex and I, Mark is more similar to you guys.
And let, you know, he's been with his wife, right?
So it's like, whereas Alex and I have, you know, we've had other chicks and like our wives have had as well.
And then we got to think about that a little bit.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
We were horse.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah, all the horrors.
But like, so that we, we're, there is a part of us probably comparing and feeling insecure and maybe feeling potentially inadequate.
Yeah.
Right.
So that runs through our minds where you guys have been with nobody.
So you can feel confident being I think to be fair to everyone, there was a time in our relationship where I would have been more insecure, but when like she's essentially homeless with me and didn't go anywhere and stayed right by my side, I think the jokes don't bother me because it's like.
When you're broke as fuck, you see exactly who a person really is.
Like I've seen her at her core, good, bad, all of it.
So I know who she is enough that none of these things are going to, I'm ever going to take seriously because I've seen her.
We've been at the absolute bot.
She's seen me at my absolute worst.
So if I make these jokes, if I call her a bitch or whatever, she's like, I know this.
Like at our absolute worst, we still loved each other.
We still stayed by each other's side.
So I think that's what I didn't realize also.
And I didn't think I was nearly famous enough to become a meme.
Yeah, I didn't know.
I was wrong.
That is beautiful.
Now, is with your guys' relationship, like neither of you come from these like loving marriages, right?
Is it is it cool to experience love?
Is it what you think of when you see in movies?
Like, what is that?
I'm curious what that's like, you know?
I was very privileged.
Therapeutic Breakdowns00:04:23
Like, my parents were really in love with each other.
And that was kind of my expectation.
You guys discovered it for the first time.
Yeah.
It's so funny because I was literally talking to my therapist and I think I was kind of getting tearful because I was thinking about my mom and everything that she went through in her marriage, which obviously wasn't great.
And like just immigrating to this country with like two little girls and like just so many things that she had to go through that I was like, I feel so bad that she had to live this life, but now I get to live this like beautiful, luxurious, glamorous life with this guy who like treats me like a princess.
And then my therapist was like, yeah, but in a way, it's so beautiful because you're kind of living like her American dream.
Wow.
So it's like, I really, and I really think that for Akash too, because I know that my mother-in-law was also in a similar kind of situation.
And I feel like for us, we really got so, you know, lucky to like find each other and find our like soulmates in each other.
I wish that my mom, who's like the most amazing lady in the world, could have experienced that.
And maybe, you know, she'll kind of experience that like later in this chapter.
But yeah.
Oh, it's beautiful.
It is.
That is beautiful.
It's what your parents sacrificed so you guys can have this kind of stuff.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
And I truly, like, again, I think that's it.
She actually realized it faster than I did, but now I'm like, oh, that's my soulmate.
So again, the jokes don't bother me.
I know what's happening.
And go buy the bag.
I like encourage her to buy stuff early on because I don't know.
Oh, you got to cut that shit.
Maybe.
But early on, and you didn't go through this?
Chill out.
Being broke with your girl and not being able to buy her anything is so fucking emasculating that when we started making a little bit, we stay for years.
Yeah.
And when she, she was like, I don't know if we can afford this.
We can afford this.
I'm like, no, I promise we're safe.
She was more anxious for a long time.
I was like, no, this is like, I think even therapeutic for you for us.
I feel like it would almost like teach me like a little bit of exposure therapy.
I mean, now, probably not, but like in the middle of the day.
No, definitely not.
Yeah.
It's probably like, oh, it teaches your brain, like, okay, this is safe.
I can do this activity.
Like, just like how posting on TikTok was and like whatever else.
But I mean, now.
But it is interesting that you're going to have a different relationship, you know, to the money that Akash makes when you guys were locked in before you had anything.
Yeah.
You know, and you will feel more part of that journey with him.
Yeah.
Than like if Akash is this fucking multi-millionaire and then he like finds you and then you have that attitude.
But what the internet just sees is a completely different picture, which is like, okay, he's got this beautiful girl.
And she like buying bags and that's what the thing is.
No, optically, it makes sense that she would be a gold digger.
She's much hotter than me.
Stop saying that.
You're fine, bro.
You're the prize.
You're the prize.
I look decent with a shirt on.
Anyway, listen, in the interest of turning all the stones, can you dispel the rumor?
I heard a narrative online that you guys were together and then you took a break for like two years.
And then when you started making money, you came back.
Can you dispel this?
No, we took a break for like a month or two months.
After I started making money post-Patreon.
What an idiot.
He had a different confidence when he was there.
Yeah, he was telling you to shut up more.
No, I just want to shut the fuck up's a year.
Oh, that's the rule.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a great deal.
I got eight left.
Happy holidays.
All right.
I feel like we've done a pretty good job here.
Listen, we love you guys.
I mean, obviously, what happened?
But I hope everybody who watches, the internet is going to do whatever the fuck the internet wants to do.
But I hope if anybody actually does watch, they get a better idea of your guys' relationship.
And I hope you go moving forward, you understand how different your guys' relationship is from most people.
And like sometimes the reactions are not every reaction is, oh, they're completely off.
They're just reflecting what they would be in a relationship and going, oh, I would feel their experience and our experience is abnormal.
Some guys are bad actors, obviously.
And then some people are going, what the hell is going on with this?
Like, I love Akash.
Like, what is happening?
Yeah.
And, um, but yeah, I'm stoked that you guys got to come on.
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Let's get back to the show.
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Now let's get back to the show.
Guys, listen.
Hey, Jobs.
Yeah.
Black Rifle Coffee Mission00:13:39
You have an absolute permission slip to do.
Yeah, yeah, I think I do.
You know something else that's funny?
Some of your wife's lip glosses on your ear, which means she ducked the fuck out of a kiss.
In the elevator?
No, that's when I ducked the kiss.
Oh, that's when you dunked the ducko.
We play no fucking game.
Yeah.
We back.
That's funny.
You didn't tell her you were going to do that shit, huh?
Nope.
She was surprised.
That's funny.
She's like, I should do that, man.
Lesson learned.
What was I going to say?
Oh, yeah.
So she literally said you can just do it.
And she seemed quite serious.
Like she was remorseful for what you've been put through.
She put me through.
Yeah.
No, I got to use this now.
Yes.
Let's line up.
Patrons.
Let me know a good spot.
Yes.
This is a public episode.
Hey, public.
Let me know a good spot.
Y'all heard her.
We were talking about this.
She didn't say where.
Right.
Yeah, I think I want to go to a place where it's legal because I assume the women will not be just old and Asian.
Yep.
Nah, nah.
I mean, well, what do you want?
Do you want the best one or do you want the hottest girl?
Yeah, this is actually an interesting thing.
I need that Venn diagram crossover.
You want a girl that's hot enough, but she's incredible at this point.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, but are you going eyes open or eyes close?
Well, it depends.
Yes.
If they're Asian.
Or wait, what was the...
Yeah, wait, wait, what is eyes closed the whole time?
You're blind?
Because I just figured it out.
It's like flying sleep.
You just got in the bottom of your chin.
When I'm getting a massage, it's like I'm eyes closed the whole massage, and now it's just an extra part of it.
No, they turn you over halfway through.
I still go eyes close.
I don't open my eyes.
You go like this, looking up, thought.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's a good point.
But also, if a girl's jerking you off, do you look directly into her?
I think it depends on how she looks.
Right?
If she's attractive, I'm soaking this up.
Do you ask for attention?
Do you like, are you like, no, no, no, you got to focus.
I'm looking at you.
I'm an Indian guy, but it's staring.
Yeah.
So you just laser beam the side of her head.
Yeah.
I've heard that the older pros are actually better.
Of course.
You've heard?
I feel like they have less lessons than that.
We heard this rope.
I have a friend who's a connoisseur.
He goes on, what is it, Tug Maps?
And he knows all the places.
He knows all the miles or a cool.
He lives in a specific neighborhood because they're closer to the things.
Really?
Yeah.
This is a close friend of mine.
Put us on a group text.
I will.
I collect this guy.
You got close.
You know him?
No, you don't know him.
Now, you might have met him in passing, but I don't think you know him.
He goes to the coffee shop?
Nah.
Damn.
I wish, yo, I'd be there tomorrow morning.
But he's got the spot.
He's got the spot.
Apparently, the pros are professional.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
You won't last more than seven seconds.
Yeah.
Like normal.
We had a friend in college do this, and he bet he could last like more than 45 seconds or whatever it was.
Yeah, we challenged each other to a duel.
Wait, what?
No, we paid for him to go get her up and tug, and he went and got the rubbing tug and came out defeated.
He was like, it was like, how long?
He said it was under a minute, like easily.
It was just magic.
We did the over-under on a minute.
We had the cow she spread.
We had the whole thing.
Did we massage you first?
I'm not, I'm too Indian to just get a hand job.
I need a massage, a good massage.
It's all-inclusive.
Oh, that's nice.
It was all-inclusive.
That's nice.
But like from start of hand to end of job, was if you had to go through these last three weeks, you wouldn't be jealous.
Oh, yeah.
It's all good, dude.
Let's just see after the massage how you feel.
Okay.
And then let's just see.
You get on the milking table.
You get on the milking table, dude.
You're fucking out of here.
All of a sudden, you'll be like, you know, it was all worth it.
Your boy got milked, dude.
Okay.
It was fun.
Yeah.
I like this shit.
This is all.
Your hand, the way you use the glasses as a prop is excellent.
Oh, I the snap.
It's the snap.
Yeah, like it's yeah.
Yeah, you fold this one in, and you're like, and you point.
Yeah, fantastic.
The old teacher did that.
You practiced this shit.
I've just seen it.
Yo, he had no practice in this shit.
I remember he was YouTube and I played NBA J. Just fucking nerd.
My wife's knocking on the door.
I'm like, I need 10 minutes.
I'm shitting.
I'm on the bidet trying to get in character.
Doing tricks on sideways.
You have a bidet?
Yes.
Yeah.
We're all bidets.
We all are bidets except for it.
I'm trying to get that total that automatically opens and closes.
I like that rough white, man.
You have it.
I like a rough white.
Not at the new crib.
You are what you wipe your ass with.
Yeah, for real, man.
I like a rough white.
Like, I want to feel that shit bunch up.
He'll send me wiping memes and the shit.
I don't even understand the joke.
You sent us a picture of him shitting his picture.
What the fuck?
Oh, yeah.
Did we not talk about that on the ground?
What the fuck was that?
What in the ever fuck was that?
All right.
So get the picture up.
No, no, we're not putting the people through this.
It's like last week.
You cross the line with this.
Last week at the cellar, right?
Or two weeks ago at the cellar.
I come out of, there's a room called the lounge at the fat black pussy.
Yeah, yeah.
The lounge.
I come out of that room and I do a signature public fart display.
Oh, that's what I'm doing.
No, I walk out of this door.
Now I'm in like this little vestibule with the security guards and everybody like that.
And I walk out and I spread my legs like this and I do a fart and I go, and then the end it goes, Papa.
And I go, oh, I was like, right?
And everybody like heard the fart.
Some people grossed out.
Some people laugh, whatever, like that.
I go on stage.
You're all just grossed out.
I go on stage and I'm like, ooh, my ass feels cold for some reason.
And I'm like, oh no.
I must have shit myself with water.
And now I'm feeling the water get full.
It's not water.
Well, it's doo-doo at the time.
Liquid.
Liquid.
It turns into water later.
It turned into more of like my next five is at the VU, the Village Underground, and I go to the bathroom.
I take off my jeans.
I take off my underwear.
And there's just like a paste of shit, like a bob roll.
Turn that off.
When you put that in a group, I was like, nah, this is too much.
This is my challenge.
Like, this is bad.
Yeah, dude.
This is my challenge.
I'm the color of it, though.
It's a really fascinating color.
It is.
Do you need a crayon?
Like, why is this?
It does have that look to it.
Yeah.
The zoom in is unnecessary.
The zoom in knows a lot.
So I just threw Mo's underwear in the garbage in the bathroom.
Yeah.
And then I just kept on doing my shows like a real soldier.
You about to throw up.
Yeah.
I was like, this is pulling on my Adams and Apple.
And I felt.
Wait a minute.
What would you do if you were in my situation?
You have to do that.
No, we had this one.
You weren't here.
We had this conversation.
Take it off.
On Patreon, I was like, I almost shit my pants right before I got on stage.
And luckily, I checked my boxers and they were fine.
But I was like, you have to bring an extra pair every time you go on stage.
That needs to be part of my rider.
But you wouldn't text it to the fucking group.
Yeah, why not?
Why would I share that with y'all?
Why would I share that with y'all?
It's a funny thing.
You poop your pants a little bit.
You can just tell us.
Can I be honest with you?
Having like girls on the group chat makes me hesitant to throw shit out there.
Good.
That's probably.
It does.
Like, out of respect for the girls here, like we have girls that work with us, and I feel uncomfortable sending a picture of shit in my drawers to you guys.
That's probably.
It was literally the four or five of us in this room, six of us sorry, Joey.
I would have definitely shared it.
Yeah, yeah.
You still shared it.
Yeah, you still, yeah.
But I did it like out of spite of myself.
I can see you.
You were trying to bring joy to the group chat.
You're like, you know what?
Yeah.
I'm going to lighten the load.
Let me cheer everyone up.
Yo, the emotional swing of farting that turns into a shit is one of the funniest things in the world on the screen.
Because I'm so happy farting.
And in a second, it turns into the song.
It sent me a chill into it.
It went was a normal part.
And then the end went, pap.
And I was like, I never farted pap.
I remember the first time I started, I was trying to fart and like brag and like be funny about it.
And then when I shit, the horror.
What just happened?
This is unrefined.
Oh, my God.
We shouldn't be speaking like this.
Oh, God.
I mean, yeah, you're right.
You know, I shouldn't be sharing these things with you.
Yeah.
Did a whole set shit on my ass.
All right.
So, how was your Thanksgiving, though?
Man, you want to see some shit?
Whole Thanksgiving shit on his ass.
I didn't send this to the group yet.
How long until you showered when you went home?
I ain't shower.
I got right into bed.
Nah, you lied.
I got right into bed.
You lied.
My wife.
Bro.
I got right into bed.
My wife doesn't even know.
My wife found my jeans in the morning.
It has shit right through the fucking jeans.
Somehow, the dude who passed through the barrier.
There was a membrane that passed directly through, and there was a shit sandwich.
It's the liquid that goes through to the outside.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So less molecular stuff.
I don't even like Mark's fucking posture.
He'll judge me.
He's going to judge me.
That judgment does feel worse.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Trying to be vulnerable.
Voter vulnerable.
I'm trying to be vulnerable.
Trying to be venerable.
I'm trying to be venerable.
Yeah.
How was your Thanksgiving?
Dude, it was great.
It was me, my mom, my whore wife.
We just had a blast.
Anybody stopped y'all on the street?
No, people haven't brought it up.
So maybe out of kindness.
But I asked at shows, I said, is there anybody that does not?
Because I would open by being like, so my wife's a whore, huh?
And we'll get a laugh.
And then I would say, is there anybody here who doesn't know about this?
Yeah.
Because the first time I did it, it was like weird, the vibe.
And then after that, I was like, who doesn't know?
And so many people would clap, I'd be astonished.
Yeah, it is weird.
You know?
But yeah.
I mean, it's a very real thing.
But outside of the internet, I don't know how many people caught their algorithm.
Yeah, it's like, if you are a person that is on the internet, this was big enough where you know about it.
Yeah.
But if you're not an internet person, it's not like it's covered in fucking CBS news or something.
Like my best friends still have no idea.
Right.
Yeah.
No, they know.
They just pay attention.
They're not as nice.
Well, you met Gerald.
He's like kind of autistic and just not online that much.
And then Peters also does not online that much.
So they just don't know.
I remember when you texted me that, you're like, I don't know.
It's like, I asked the crowd, like, half of them kind of didn't know.
And I think I texted you something back like, they know.
Yeah, they know.
This one they did.
Nah, but I got to thank you because you definitely saved my Thanksgiving.
Because the moment I walked through the door, yo, what's up with Oxford?
Yo, yo, bro.
For real.
It was a lot of conversation.
For about three years.
Yeah.
I think it's the first Thanksgiving though.
It was the first Thanksgiving.
We didn't end an argument.
Really?
Yeah, y'all did fight it for us.
That's nice.
Yeah, yeah.
You did it.
You did a real public service.
I'm going to tell you what it is.
I'm going to go to the bathroom drama, man.
It is true.
Like, anytime you start talking about it, it's just.
It's salacious.
It's the most important thing.
That is true.
The highest stakes thing, especially marriage.
And it's so relatable.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's reflective.
Yeah.
You're watching it.
You're like, is this, is this our relationship?
Is this me?
Like, anytime people see that.
I do not want that.
Yeah.
They're like, this is me.
This is a reflection on me.
So it's all projectional.
Yeah.
That's how it goes.
Have you been like stern with your wife more now?
So she doesn't buy the hype on the internet?
What?
She's a golden moore?
No, that you're a D ⁇ D.
That you're a simp or whatever.
No, no, no.
No, we both stayed offline because we knew this wasn't going to be good to watch.
So we were both offline.
That was the one good thing.
Isn't it scarier, though, when you're just getting these texts?
Like, hope you're almost.
So it's better to not see it, but then every time someone texts me, I'd be like, this caught your fucking algorithm?
What's going on?
How big is this?
I had my like DC cousins who are like older and like adults and like they hit me and they're like, what is going on?
They were angry, Jasline, bro.
They were pissed because they love you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They love you.
Yeah.
And they're like, yo, nah, he goes, how do we kill her?
You're not going to divorce and take half her money that's off the table?
No, no, sadly, no.
I thought about it because she's such a liar.
I'm going to divorce her to take half my money.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
She's such a liar, though.
I was too stupid to know for 10 years.
Never bothered just asking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what can you do?
Guys, that's the episode.
Okay.
There's nothing else important to talk about.
The internet has been consumed with one story for the last few weeks, and it is Akash Singh and Jasline Singh.
And, you know, hopefully we brought some more color to that conversation.
Yeah, yeah.
And hopefully you guys had some fun getting to know them.
And also, thank you guys so much for 2 million subs.
Oh, hell yeah.
You almost got divorced, but we were able to reach a number that we've been trying to get to for a while.
So we're very excited about that.
It all worked out.
Yeah, it did all work out, man.
So thank you guys so much for tuning in.
We love y'all.
We appreciate y'all.
We're going to do Patreon.
We're going to talk about what happened this week on Patreon.
So come over there and hang with us on Patreon, patreon.com slash flagrant.
We'll see you next week.
Peace.
God bless.
Yo, listen, that shit was bonkers, bro.
Oh, that was interesting.
Hilarious, honestly.
Basically, black people crazy, but look at white people.
No brain, straight no brain, a lot of cave.
Two Million Subscribers Celebration00:00:21
If you want to find me, make sure you type in Y-O-U-K-N-O-W-K-E-R out of all platforms.
That's your boy You know, and now you know.
What's going on, y'all?
If y'all want to follow me on Instagram, it is Midget, M-I-D-G-E-T underscore, J-O-E underscore.
And any other platform, just type in Midget Joe, and you're going to see this lovely face.