Sebastian Maniscalco details his 2024 "Life Tour" and contrasts Hollywood anonymity with stand-up fame, recounting set anxieties alongside Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci while sharing anecdotes about working at the Four Seasons and managing Bricks Cafe. He discusses his role in My Father's Dragon, Charlie Sheen's rehab cameo on Bookie, and the 29% rise in live comedy attendance, ultimately emphasizing that authentic material stems from living a full life beyond the stage. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
America, You Beautiful Country00:04:11
America, you beautiful, pill-popping, gender-swapping, ventino, snorting, space exploring, right-swiping, stepmom piping, champions of the world.
I've missed you.
I've taken the life tour all over the world.
I've crossed more borders than a Chinese spy balloon, or as they call them in Montana, a sky dumpling.
And now it's time to come back to the greatest country in the world.
America, baby.
In 2024, the life tour is coming all over America.
Like Josh Giddy watching toddlers in Tiaras.
And there's one rule.
Everyone gets these jokes.
Hey, Selps, your haircut stinks.
I'm clearly trying to film something over here.
Who cut your hair?
Michael J. Fox in an ice bath?
Shut up and put the music back on.
Thank you.
I'll see you there.
No, no, really?
I'm going to stop playing characters.
It's really hard to defend.
It really fucking sucks, dude.
You sold out Madison Square Garden a million times.
Like you've done arenas around the world and that it means nothing the second we're in Hollywood.
Yeah.
And they kind of treat you as if it means nothing.
Yeah, it doesn't mean anything.
Like, was that like being around De Niro?
Is he funny at all?
Like, he would, like, go to his chair after the scene.
I would go to my chair and he would have like, you know, a bunch of papers and whatnot.
And he'd be on the phone.
He'd be talking.
They're like, is this guy opening up another noble?
In between scenes.
So now I'm in a scene.
Me and De Niro are in a bedroom and we're talking about my wife's side of the family.
And I think the line was something like, yeah, and they're walking around like birds.
I'm like, he was even going, what are you doing?
The next scene, we're like, just stick it to the script.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Plague.
Today, we are joined by, we got to give compliments up top.
I know that you're going to hate it, but we have to give the compliments up top.
Okay.
It's quite possibly, well, no, absolutely one of the biggest comedians in history.
Probably the biggest comedian alive right now.
He might be in movies and such.
He might have a TV show coming out.
We have Sebastian Man Scott with the game.
Oh, wow.
Very sweet of you to say.
Well, there's two things I want to say.
First of all, I was watching you on Tiger Belly with Bobby and it was fantastic.
You guys were amazing.
But you told this story and this shit resonated so much.
It was about like the nerves and anxiety you had on the Irishman.
Now, I haven't done the Irishman, but there is something about like, you sold out Madison Square Garden a million fucking times.
Like you've done arenas around the world.
You're the highest selling comment.
And you walk into a movie set and all that just goes away.
Goes away, man.
Yeah.
So this is something I'm not used to doing, which is acting.
I do stand-up pretty much, you know, every night or trying to work on stuff.
So now I'm in a scene with Pesci, De Niro, and Scorsese coming out of nowhere.
I don't even know where this guy is at on set.
And it's nerve-wracking.
It's, you know, I had a lot of anxiety doing it.
Like, Pesci's wife, he was doing a thing that was like improv and it was kind of annoying Pesci and Pesci's wife was like, keep doing it.
Yeah.
So you got to like actively piss off Joe Pesci because his wife is saying it's a good idea, but I'm pissing off Joe Pesci.
It's like a crazy thing.
But it's this weird thing that I think is like, I wonder if it's only in us where we can feel like the top of the world in our industry and that it means nothing the second we're in Hollywood.
Yeah.
And they kind of treat you as if it means nothing.
Yeah, it doesn't mean it doesn't mean anything.
Like, did the grips and stuff, the people who work on this, on the movie, they know you and you're like the biggest star, right?
See, I never even think anybody knows me.
I swear to God.
It's just, but I get what he's saying.
Yeah, go ahead, go.
Yeah, I mean, like, I, you know, every time I put tickets on sale, I ask myself, is anybody coming?
Pissing Off Joe Pesci00:15:47
So, um, I'll give you an example.
I, uh, I did this voiceover in Super Mario Brothers.
I was Spike.
I have two kids, six and four.
We're at Universal Studios.
By the way, I feel like I have to come to my come to the right here, too, because of a cologne.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Every time I take a warm pie, you smell it.
The Italians are just drawn to it.
Is that Tom Ford?
So we're at Universal Studios.
There is a Super Mario store.
So I said, kids, come on in.
Let's go see Daddy's character.
They got every character on the wall, but mine.
Spike.
So that kind of sums up my career.
I have fans, but I'm not like widely known.
It's funny you think that.
That's so fun at all.
I don't think that.
Yeah, I don't believe that at all.
It's the way I feel.
But I know it's the way you feel.
And I felt that.
Like, I felt that in films or in Hollywood in general.
And I think it's just because they care so little about stand-up.
Like the Hollywood Matrix thinks it's like this weird like sideshow.
And we walk in and we're like, women, no, no, no, no, we're, this is the coolest thing.
And we're the best at it.
And they're like, that's great.
Here's your lines.
Here's your side.
There's your trailer.
You're sharing with three other guys.
There's one bathroom.
Yeah.
And you're like, I travel on a bus everywhere I go.
Like, we don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It doesn't translate over to, like you're saying, TV and film.
I, I, you know, but that's expected.
Do we welcome the stand-ups?
The actors to our, you know, like you always hear this guy that's going to do stand-up, but he was something else prior.
Yeah.
And you, do we go, oh, yeah, you know, you're part of the family?
And then do we do that?
Do we think that your career is struggling?
Yeah.
Oh, let's do it again.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just always, why is stand-up always the default to somebody else's other career?
It's not, it's not like we're going into professional football.
It's either stand-up or DJing.
Yeah.
Fall back.
Dude, you know, the first time I saw you?
I went to school at University of California at Santa Barbara.
I grew up here in New York, but I went to school at UCSB.
And I managed a restaurant called Bricks Cafe.
And once a week, there was a comedy night.
Do you remember?
I didn't know that you managed a joint, though.
There was a comedy in, I think it was like a small crate in the corner.
Let me see if I got the right restaurant.
You walk in.
This is great.
And wasn't it to the left?
And there's a full window.
Yeah.
So people can see from the outside.
You manage that place?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I had no idea.
Into the ground.
Into the ground.
Right into the two restaurants.
I've managed two restaurants both out of this.
Did you start the comedy night?
No, it was Andre Belikoff's.
He wasn't even a comic.
Yeah, the comedy night started.
No, you weren't.
Yeah, literally.
I was just, you know, I was just a fan of comedy.
Like, I watched it growing up.
And it was just random that I was working at this restaurant.
And then this guy opened another one.
He was dumb enough to let me manage it.
Like, I wrote him a manual.
I was like, this is what I think you should do.
And like gave it to him.
And he was this Argentine guy.
And he was like, I think this guy's good.
I think, no, it wasn't good.
But I remember you coming there.
There was a bunch of people that came up.
Like Tig came up.
I think Brett Ernst, you came up.
I remember you doing the Ross bit.
Oh, my God, dude.
And which is like iconic bit.
It's hard to do the raw spit in there.
Say again.
It's hard to do this.
It's harder to do.
You almost felt this.
I had no rule.
Short didn't go far.
Short went like 20 feet.
But it was like, I remember watching it.
And I, and, you know, you're not like a talent scout at the time, but I, but I'm just like, holy shit, like, this is something different.
The energy is something different going on here.
And then you really fucking exploded, huh?
Fuck it.
From that restaurant career.
I was trying to think this.
Wait, real quick.
My first story also fucking, it was 2007.
I just started comedy in LA.
And we go watch, there's every of the, like the three major clubs out there, Black Knight, comedy stores are tripping on Tuesday, which wasn't the roughest room, but it's like, it can be choppy.
Sebastian goes on stage.
I'm watching this white dude.
It's dead.
He lets the silence sit.
for like 10, 15 seconds, this white dude, all black room.
And then he just, then one girl woos and he just goes, no, I like that confidence.
And then the confidence he had, I swear to you, I don't think to this day I've ever seen a comic level a room like that.
I think you're talking about Kramer at the laughing.
No, dude.
Tony Roberts, who's so funny and such a killer host, he gets back on stage for three minutes.
He's laughing at Sebastian's bit, like about some, no, the drinks with the umbrella in it.
He's dying laughing, leaning over the stool, like the dude I was sitting with got an umbrella in his drink.
I'd never seen, and that was the first time I ever was like, oh, that's what you can do with a set.
I'd been watching comedy, but that stuck with me for years.
Okay, I need to get back to like the beginning.
Do you start in LA or did you start in Chicago?
I started in Los Angeles.
I moved in 1998 from Chicago.
I graduated Northern Illinois University.
I did comedy once there for the up-and-coming, or no, it was upcoming.
It was the guy coming in to entertain the students.
Yeah, yeah.
Whatever.
It was the headliner.
College Entertainment.
Yeah.
You open for it.
I opened up for that guy.
And then that's the only time I had.
Who?
You were in a frat, weren't you?
Yeah, yeah.
At that time, my parents came.
No, no, no.
Which they were worried because I died.
I died on stage that night.
And they were like, this is what we're paying college for.
So I moved out in 98 and I just started kicking around Los Angeles doing like open mic nights and so you bombed and was like, no, this is what I'm going to do?
I just knew I felt comfortable up there and this was where I should be.
I was a huge fan of stand-up at a young age and I always knew I was going to go into stand-up comedy.
I just didn't know how.
Who's your guy?
Who was your introduction?
I used to watch HBO, Night at the Improv, all that stuff at my cousin's house on Saturday morning because I never, I didn't have cable.
So I used to watch all of that stuff and I used to digest it like it was game tape.
Fascinated.
Like, geez, how do they remember all this?
This is fantastic.
I want to do this.
How do you even get into this?
You know, my dad's a beautician.
My mother's a secretary.
Like, where do you even go to do this?
But I just fell in love with it and then decided I was going to move out to Los Angeles in 1998 to pursue a.
Was there one stand-up that you saw that you're like holy, like I remember seeing Bernie Mac when I was younger yeah, and it didn't make me go.
I want to be a stand-up comedian but it made me go.
Holy shit, that's how hard you can make people laugh.
Like that was the bar and obviously Eddie Delirious.
But like, was there someone you saw?
It wasn't like a guy that came out.
What I used to do is watch Johnny Carson at night and then he used to have comedians on and I was like, oh wow, this is great and people come in and make people laugh.
And then I started getting into it from there.
I started watching George Carlin and Eddie Murphy, Don Rickles I was a huge fan of Don Rickles, so it was a variety of different comedians that I saw over you know a period of time.
It wasn't one guy right where I go.
Oh yeah that's, that's the guy it was.
It was a culmination of people.
Okay, you're just obsessed with the sport of comedy.
Okay, so you go out to LA when I remembered you doing the Vince Vaughan.
Yeah, what was it called West comedy show.
Is that the first break?
Is that the first time where you feel like I have some traction?
Or were you already like the local guy?
I was not anything.
I was just going, doing comedy clubs, not touring at all.
I was working at the four seasons.
Yeah, it was.
I thought at this point, you'd already kind of like, you were like established LA, like headlining locally.
No.
But no date.
So you had.
I'm still delivering chicken satays to Table 109 at the World Series.
When Vince Vaughan asked me to do this, where did Quince even find you?
At Dublin's, there was a place called Dublins on Sunset.
It had a Tuesday night Dublins.
And it was upstairs.
Timberlake used to go, Vince Vaughan.
It was like a haven for celebrities at the point.
Dane Cook at that time was the guy.
And I met him there through a comedian by the name of Ahmed Ahmed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Vince and I started talking in this stairwell.
He's from Chicago.
I'm from Chicago.
Starts talking this, that, and the other.
Next thing you know, a couple months go by.
And through Ahmed, asked me to come on the Vince Vaughan Wild West comedy show.
So I had to go ask work, can I take a month off to be in a movie?
Because I didn't know.
I mean, I wasn't getting paid a lot of money.
It wasn't like something I could just lose my job.
And I'm very responsible.
I'm very responsible.
Like the first thing my mother asked me when I moved out in 1998, what are you going to do for health insurance?
I'm not one of these guys that just lives on people's couches.
I came out with savings, you know?
It's not like Axel Rose, where he's got a Qatar and some change.
I came out with 10 grand, responsible, signed a lease.
And so, yeah, I took off work for a month, but I never went back after that.
That was 2005.
So 98 to 20, that was like a subplot in the movie, I remember about you waiting tables, right?
Yeah.
All right, guys.
Show dates.
You know what it is.
First of all, this Friday, December 8th, my first show ever in Nolins.
I love New Orleans.
I went there one time.
Honestly, it's the most unique city in America.
I am so excited to go there.
I love it.
Also, December 17th, 18th, 19th, you know what it is, the UK, Glasgow, Glasgow, I think.
London, we added a second show.
There's still some tickets left.
And Manchester, that show is going to sell out soon if it hasn't already.
Get your tickets for that.
Also, January 6th, 8th, and 9th, I'm going to Oslo.
Amsterdam, we added a second show and Eindhoven.
And January 18th through 20th, I'm going to be in Washington, D.C. at the improv.
Those tickets will sell out too.
And January 26th and 27th, Wise Guys Comedy Club in Salt Lake City.
I've never been to your Mormon-ass state.
I'm very excited to come.
I've heard the club is amazing.
So get your tickets for all those shows and more being added soon at akashing.com.
Now let's get back to this show.
Okay, that night that Vince is there, did you know that he's watching when you're going on or did you already go on and then you saw him in the hallway?
I didn't know he was in the room.
So I had gone on and came off.
So much better that way.
Yeah, he was delivering the chicken satays to him.
I had waited on Vince Faughan, though, years before.
Yeah, but he didn't know that.
I mean, I waited on him, I think, in 2001.
Does he tip good?
He didn't pay.
It was the agents that were.
So I pretty much know of every celebrity's tipping habits working at the four seasons.
And what do we got?
Shaq's the best.
Shaq, what does Shaq do?
What is Shaq?
Shaq comes in on a Sunday by himself, walk through the bar, used to sit by himself.
This is not every Sunday, but a few.
Order a fruit plate.
And just protect the Shaq right there.
What?
Every Sunday.
Not everyone.
They might get a couple times.
Shaq was in.
A few times.
A few times.
And then a little fruit plate, little, what else did he have?
Oh, coffee.
But I used to serve the coffee to him in a big cappuccino cup because it's like serving a giant.
I could serve him a little teacup.
I could bring out the big cappuccino.
And he would never ask for a check, just left $100 under the plate.
Every time.
Every time.
And at that point, I wasn't.
Hey, what's up, Shaq?
I was very professional.
He had to act like, you know, that wasn't a celebrity.
Hello, Mr. O'Neill.
How are you doing?
And yeah, he was one of the best tippers there was.
He was the worst, though.
I'm sorry, was this tipper?
Who's the worst tipper?
Worst tipper.
I didn't really run into like a really awful, awful like.
I don't have a bad story.
Sorry, I know you guys probably really relish an agreement.
I'd like to think I'm pretty fabulous when it comes to.
Let's get fabulous.
Okay.
Okay.
What do you, let's say, for example, dropping your car?
Because I've heard some legendary tipping, right?
Like, you know, I remember I was hanging with Rogan once.
He drops the car off.
It's 100.
Picks it up.
It's 100.
Okay.
That's aggressive.
Yeah.
He's responsible.
He just said he was responsible.
He's responsible.
Let's say you're dropping your car off.
How much?
What do you, what is it?
I'm dropping my car off.
Where am I driving?
Is it a hotel or is it any valet service?
Just a valet.
General valet.
Valet.
General valet.
I didn't even know you're supposed to drink.
It's only when you pick it up.
No, it is when you pick it up.
No, no, the keep it close tip.
Yeah, let's break it all down.
Let's break it all down.
The keep-it-close tip is, I think, 100 because I used to work at the Four Seasons.
I used to talk to those guys, and they had five or six spots reserved.
And I used to ask, what do you tip to get that spot?
He goes, that's a minimum of $100.
Now, if you give them a 20, right, and they have the availability, they might leave it up top.
But I think 100 ensures you that spot.
The 100 on the way out is almost Sinatra-like.
200 on a car is a lot of money.
Yeah.
So what do you think on the way out?
10 bucks?
On the way out, it's a 20.
It's a 20.
A 20.
If you tipped already.
Yeah, that's reasonable.
So if you tipped 100 and a guy brings it up, it's 20.
120 is a lot just to put the car somewhere.
It is, but I tell you, the convenience of it is just.
Okay, what about a place you frequent a lot?
Like, what about the store or the improv back in the day?
Like, you're just dropping your car off.
Every once in a while, you tip those guys.
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
I got to stand up now.
It's scientific.
I feel like I got to start moving around.
Like I'm there every night.
What do you mean?
What do you mean every once in a while?
Every once in a while.
Hey, you're right.
I generally park my whole car there and then I leave.
But every once in a while, I'll give the guy whoever's running, I'll give him $50 or $100.
Okay, but that's not an every single time.
No, it's not every single time thing.
I don't know.
It's just sometimes I don't have my wallet on me or whatnot.
I don't have like cash available.
And sometimes I'm like, all right.
I ain't tipping today.
You don't even have a car.
See, New Yorkers don't have cars, so they don't even understand.
Well, I bought a fake Porsche, but then it broke down.
You bought a fake Porsche?
Yeah.
A kid car.
Oh, a Kit Cook.
Yeah, I bought a Kit Car.
On purpose?
He got hustled.
He got hustled.
It was a Persian business.
Was a half a million dollar real one or a $50,000 fake one.
And I'm like, I'm going to have to replace everything in this real one anyway.
So just give me the fake one for $50,000.
And now you got to replace the entire car.
Parking Garage Tipping Habits00:02:10
It's beautiful.
It was so beautiful.
Very pretty.
You don't have it anymore?
It didn't work for you.
I don't think so.
Oh, it doesn't work.
Yeah, it doesn't really work.
Did we sell it?
Yeah, but it's still over there.
You're looking for a kit clap.
I'm sorry.
Do you want a kit?
I got a nice car.
I can't just skip over what just happened.
What just happened right there?
You don't know if you got a car?
You like that?
You like that biddy show?
You like that?
You don't know if you tip.
I don't know if I got a kind of like he's in charge of the automotive garage you have.
Because what happens when I do it, right?
I buy a fake fucking Porsche.
Which was not under my advisement.
I just want everyone to notice.
Nope.
But it's a beautiful car that he built on the outside.
We had a couple of good runs around Soho.
I had to push it around Soho.
He did.
And first of all, I'm from New York, so people kind of know me.
And I'm in like the most like, I have to stop and look at new car and I have to walk it around cobblestone streets and fucking Soho.
It was, it was, it was so unbelievably embarrassing.
Like Cobblestone.
Wow.
Yeah.
So the mechanic sold it, but the car is so beautiful.
He leaves it in front of his like West Village location.
People keep taking pictures all day long.
What do you tip the garage?
This is a tricky one for me.
The garage is like every single one.
What if we're doing this every day?
It's like meaning going into a parking structure.
My parking garage.
That's aware.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You probably never had a garage.
Like a house.
Yeah, like a Christmas gift.
Nice gift.
You know what my pops used to do?
My pops would always, he would get them a nice Christmas bonus, but he would always bring another coffee.
And it was just like, he'd always come with two, and there'd be another coffee.
That's a classy title.
That is a dollar, but at the same time, it's like, still, maybe you wanted a nice coffee.
Well, I like that move.
I also like if you're seeing this guy every day and it's a garage, I like the end of the year kind of Christmas gift.
To do it every day, it gets a little monotonous and gross.
Gross.
It's a little aggressive.
The Tricky Garage Question00:02:35
Yeah, a little aggressive.
I think a nice gift that, you know, for the doorman, for the garage guy, a nice, a nice Hermes.
Did you get bothered when you drive?
A nice Hermes bike.
Do you get road rage at all when you're driving?
No.
At this age, I actually relish the time and traffic.
Why?
Generally, when I'm driving and I'm going to get in traffic, I'm alone.
And those times, if I have an audio book or a podcast on, I actually welcome it.
There's no real road rage.
And when I have kids, to me, it's more time in the car with them.
So I like it.
Yes, you like the family.
You like kids.
Very traditional, very family.
Okay, we're not into the family yet.
I want to get to family, but I know because your rise is crazy because I think you're also one of the first people to explode from the internet.
And I don't know if a lot of people know that.
I don't think I know that.
Your clips, you didn't know what was happening with you and like what was happening on Facebook.
I was unaware of what was happening.
I was about to be sewing.
Listen, listen, I was unaware of what was happening outside my little ether.
Like I post my stuff.
Okay, I post my stuff.
But you didn't know.
I didn't know.
So until later on.
Okay, because you had the specials.
There were Showtime specials.
Yeah.
And you were clipping or someone was clipping.
They were putting them on like Facebook, et cetera.
But some of these jokes would just go insane on Facebook.
And you didn't notice like a crazy spike in sales.
Like there had to be a moment where you're like, okay, I'm selling out clubs and now it's theater.
Like, where was the jump for you?
I thought it was, I just hot in here, right?
Sorry, go on.
Because you're moving.
You're standing up.
It always gets hot when I do this podcast.
No, I'm actually a good gauge of temperature.
Okay, you're a good gauge temperature.
And if I'm cool, it's not hot in here.
Okay, it's not hot.
But if you feel hot, go ahead.
Put up the air conditioner.
Guys, hot.
I feel like I'm being insulted right now, but I'm not.
I'm being insulted.
Do I have to tip them?
What do you tip for AC?
What do you tip AC?
$25.
That's pretty good.
It was a significant too, but I thought, because I stayed in the clubs for a while.
Yeah.
Further than most people stay in the clubs because I was like, I don't even know if I could sell theaters.
Personal Stories and Heat00:03:54
I did 14 Gotham comedy club shows and they're like, I think it's time to the theater.
I don't know.
Are people going to come?
Will they come?
Yeah.
So I thought it was just from going on the road and doing the comedy clubs, establishing a fan base.
I did see an uptick in some of followers and whatnot, but I don't attribute it to like, oh, wow, I blew up on the internet.
I don't know if I ever really wrapped my head around that.
2018, I had three different family members talk to me about you specifically.
And I remember that's when I was like, oh, because I'd always remembered Sebastian from that set.
And then I was like, oh, now it's over.
It's over.
I saw there was a thing that like there's a thing that happened that kind of, it didn't explain your fame, explained how you're selling so many tickets to me, right?
Because obviously I saw it.
It was amazing, been a fan.
But the perception at first was like, okay, this is really personal.
He's talking about like really specific, you know, his culture.
Okay, maybe Italians are coming out in droves.
And it was a Somali friend of mine that goes, oh, yeah.
I mean, like, me and my mom watch him like crazy.
That's like her favorite comedian.
It's one of my favorite comedians.
And I go, explain that.
He goes, oh, like everything he talks about is my family.
I go, what?
And he goes, he goes, yeah.
And at that moment, I realized it's a first generation or second generation relatability in America.
And it's probably why, like, you know, from my mom's side, well, I'm kind of relating to it, but you know, with all these people coming out, did you start to see that like in diversity in the audience?
Yeah.
First of all, I had no idea.
No idea.
I was huge in Somalia.
Big.
You got to do a show.
But you don't have to be Italian to get this.
You could be Indian.
You could be Puerto Rican, black, whatever you are.
If you have like a family and a dynamic in your family, I use my father as a big source of comedy.
I think people relate to it regardless of what background you're from.
Yeah, it is an immigrant story.
It has those immigrant little innuendos that maybe some immigrant families could relate to more than others.
But at the core, it's just the family.
And you know where I really was debating on putting a bit in my Aren't You Embarrassed special about going to an Italian wedding?
I felt it was too specific.
Oh, really?
I go, oh, you know, only Italians are going to get this.
Should I put it in?
But I decided to put it in.
And that little bit started to generate some popularity.
I go, oh, wow.
People are gravitating towards my personal story, my culture, my father.
Let me dive into this a little bit more because up to that point, it was about Ross for Less, Subway.
You know, just generic.
It was generic, observational, but very funny.
And then your character shine, your personality shines through it.
But once you started getting really specific about what you were going through, like it's funny, different friends have shared different clips with me.
And it's all based on what they're going through.
Like the Jews always send the one about just let the Italians handle the cater.
Every Jewish person has seen that bit.
You know that, right?
Yeah, that seems to be big in the Jewish community.
But yeah, it's funny.
It's funny and interesting hearing these stories from you on the other side because to be honest with you, I was on a like, you know, I like the camaraderie the younger group of comedians have with one another.
I like the, you know, like I said before we started, it's very inspiring that you guys created a whole environment and, you know, you seem to be very tight.
I was tight with some comedians coming up, but then I began to become very kind of insular and family and not really hanging out with a lot of comedians.
Insular Comedian Life00:15:02
So I wasn't really on the street.
I didn't know the street vibe.
I was just doing my own thing, going out, doing my comedy clubs, like alone.
Yeah.
I didn't travel with anybody.
There was no like going out to a diner at two o'clock in the morning.
It's like you do the set, you go home and then you're rotting at the room for the rest of the week.
They don't realize that like earlier when you're on the road, you spend 18 hours a day in the hotel.
Yeah.
I mean, there were times where like the first people I spoke to that day were the crowd.
Yeah.
I'd be at the fucking Crown Plaza or whatever it was.
I'd walk to the club, say hello, and then walk on stage and there's 300 people there, hopefully.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I felt if you left the room, and I don't know how you are with like finances, but again, I'm very responsible.
You start losing money.
Well, yeah.
You leave the room, costs you money.
You're making $1,000 a week.
As soon as you step outside, your pay starts going down.
What are you spending money on, though, if you're alone in the city?
Well, let's say you go to the mall and you're like, oh, there's a club.
Yeah, you're tempted with, you know, purchasing whatever, a shirt or whatever you want.
So as long as you stay in the room, I feel like you're safe.
When did you get enough money where you started to release a little of your economic anxiety?
Or is it still there?
It's always going to be there.
Just the way I was raised.
My father.
Nothing chipped away.
Listen, do I spend money?
Yeah.
My wife has that in her.
What does that mean?
Just like...
Spending money?
Let's have a party.
I love to have parties.
But the way my wife does parties and the way I do parties are two different things.
Okay, how so?
What is the difference?
What's your ideal party?
I'm not going to do this right now.
We had a Christmas party last year.
We had a plan, a party planner.
They bring in furniture.
It's a whole...
Which I kind of like because then it doesn't fuck up your furniture and you don't have anxiety about people spilling shit all over.
I'm into the furniture.
Yeah, bringing in the furniture.
But again, furniture is a really high expense when you're dealing with a party.
To rent furniture, it's a big dent, right?
At the bartender.
You've got the catering.
There's a lot that goes into having a Christmas party, at least in my wife's eyes.
I said, this year, let's do something small, you know?
Let's have eight, ten people over at the house.
We'll get our friend Dom to cater it.
We'll get some drinks.
I'll pour them.
We don't need a bartender.
But as it starts, you know, to go, it's like, all right, next thing you know, there's a truck in the driveway and there's moving people in my house.
I like to entertain.
I really do.
And if I spend my money on anything, I don't buy, I don't buy cars.
I don't buy jewelry.
I buy experiences.
And if I have experiences with my friends, my family, or it's a vacation, I'd rather spend my money on that than go out and my home.
Can you relax at your own party?
Yes, I can relax if there is a chef or a bartender there.
If I'm cooking, I can't relax because I cooked for 14 people last year and it was a complete.
You know, my problem is with the cooking?
I want to make everything.
I just can't make steak and broccoli.
I'm making X. I'm making multiple sides.
Let's start with a pasta.
And it's only me in the kitchen.
It's not like I got a sous chef that I'm telling him, like, get this out.
I'm doing everything.
And my wife is the one who's socializing.
So, yes, I could relax if there's help there.
Do you feel responsible for people socially?
Like, if somebody's bored at your party, do you feel like, okay, I got to go give them attention?
Or are you like, what's wrong with this guy?
We curate the party so well.
That's unloved.
That's unlucky.
Everybody that guest lists.
The guest list is a good guest list.
You go, should we invite this couple?
Because they would really get along with that couple.
So we kind of like curate the party so everybody's having a good time.
Generally speaking, there's no one really in the corner sulking.
And I'm not the guy to go over there and like boost their spirits.
I'm there selfishly so I could have a good time.
If you want everybody to have a good time, but generally speaking, everybody at my parties is happy.
But how do you deal with the politics of not inviting somebody that may be close to you or your wife?
So that's similar to a wedding where you make the cutoff.
So by the way, I got to ask you something.
The mustache.
It's not even a question.
It's just a statement.
Everybody has facial hair on their face.
Fuck me.
But the only one really playing with it is him.
This is new for me.
It took me 40 years to grow.
So I'm still just making sure it's there.
I think that's what it is.
I'm like, I have it.
Say this man's stuff.
Think of all the questions you had about parties.
I'm ready to care.
I'm just constantly like, no, no, no, no.
But you know what?
It really adds to the interview because how I associate this is still interested in what I'm talking about.
I'm really trying to feel like it seems devious to have, though, right?
He looks like he tied a woman to a train tractor.
There's a little, you know.
There is.
Okay, but break it down.
How do I cut people off?
This is my biggest issue.
Keep that mustache.
They won't come.
With my wife, anytime she wants to make a party for me or anything like that, I go, I go, I can't do a party where there's only eight of us.
I have so many friends that I would never want to feel left out or whatever.
So it's like, you have to surprise me, and then I'm not responsible if they're not there.
But you will straight off just like cut your friends that you care about and love and you've known for a while.
Yeah, those people are invited, but there's like fringe friends.
You know, there's fringe.
Is Pete at every, is he at every party?
If Pete lived in Los Angeles, he would be at every party.
Every single party.
Every party.
Okay.
His wife as well or he's no plus one.
No, no.
Pete gets plus one.
Pete Pete gets plus one.
There are certain people in your life that there are standards that are going to come to your party.
But then there's, then you have, like, if you had a party, is everybody in this room invited?
Everybody's invited.
Okay.
And that blew his fucking mind.
Even those guys?
No, no, no.
Behind the scenes.
Is there a guy outside?
We have a guy outside.
Is he coming?
He's coming.
Okay.
So you need someone who's not coming.
I can't believe it.
Who's not coming?
I can't believe it.
Do you have comedian friends that you would cut off?
Yeah, there's a line there.
Okay.
Yeah, the cutoff starts at comedy.
Comedy to find out there.
I mean, listen, you can't invite everybody you know.
You know that.
Not everybody's coming to your party.
I mean, you could invite, you know, I just had a 50th birthday party.
There was like 50 people at the party.
Ooh, you kept it tight.
Because you could have extended it.
Yeah, we could have really blown it out.
What do you spend on something like that?
What do you spend on a nice little 50th birthday party?
I mean, it's not 10 G's.
Like, you wouldn't just spend 10 grand on a little 50th birthday party.
I'm not in the pricing.
Yeah, he's not comfortable with this.
I'm not in the middle of the day.
I mean, we can do a Catholic kid.
He's not going to talk about money.
You should know.
Italians now.
Divulge what they're spending on stuff.
Because they got over on you.
Because if you got a deal, you would have told me.
Please believe me.
If you got a deal, the first thing you would have told me.
I'll just give you a million?
No, no, no, no, not a million.
Two million?
There's no way.
At a party?
Crazy.
No.
Can I guess?
Can I throw a guess?
You don't have to say yes or no.
I think it's $75,000.
$75,000?
Yeah.
It might be $100,000.
Money is so dirty, right?
It's a dirty business.
It's fun.
Money's so funny.
Are you a guy that likes to tell people, yeah, I dropped 50 grand on a kit car?
Yes, because it's so embarrassing.
I can say the number.
Yeah, but would you tell me how much you spent for your wedding?
No, I wouldn't show you.
Okay, okay.
So.
We got a deal.
I would tell you on this side.
I would tell you on this side because we got a deal.
We got a nice deal.
All right.
See, I wouldn't even tell you if when the camera's off and we leave, I won't even tell you what I spent on my 50th birthday party.
But you want to know what I spent on my wedding.
I don't care.
Do you do a little bit of a bad thing?
I really don't.
Just a little bit.
Just a tiny bit.
Just a tiny bit now that you know that there's a deal involved.
I didn't see your wedding.
I didn't see your wedding.
If I saw your wedding and if I was invited, because what we do, Italians always try and figure out how much stuff costs anyway.
I would go, okay, well, you think he dreamt on this?
You know, the first thing I thought when I came in here, I started trying to figure out how much the rent here.
Or does he own it, right?
That's the first thing I'm thinking.
As soon as I walked in, I saw the bikes.
I go, I know your bikes.
Does everybody take a bike here?
Did I not call this?
Did I not call this exactly?
What did you say, Marcus?
Sebastian's gonna walk you'd be like, what is this a fucking car dealership?
Your motorcycles lined up on the inside of the thing.
Yeah, I mean, that's just what goes on.
It's peculiar to have all the bikes inside, right?
Are those your bikes?
Technically, yeah, but everybody kind of has a bike and they all bring them inside where we all walk around.
And that's a lot of the outside inside, I feel.
Okay.
I feel like they could maybe park them outside.
Well, no, I mean, if you got a bike, those bikes look expensive.
Anytime I see a bike that's not a motorcycle that has a thick wheel like that, I'm thinking that's north of a $1,500, $2,000 bike bike.
Those are kit bikes.
Those are kit bikes.
I got those for a fraction.
I'll tell you how much we've got kit banks.
There's an Armenian in Glendale.
It gives you a speaker.
We got to that.
I'd love a kit bike.
I feel like you could get a lot of things.
I don't know.
I feel like sponsor?
That's what I thought.
This is what you like.
We found the things that you curated.
You get the essential water.
It's marked to be fair, but you curated.
I thought that.
Your publicist said he won't come on the pod unless he has his yer bamate.
I said this can't be.
I said it can't be delicious.
It's delicious.
No, this is a nice touch.
It's a nice touch that you actually did some homework on me and found my favorite things and had them here.
That speaks a lot.
We have all your favorite things.
We have the yer bamate.
We have the essential water.
I know.
Black.
Don't look at me.
Why cologne?
You looked at me first when he said black.
I just let that be known.
He kind of stared right in front of me.
He doesn't see color.
He's not in Chicago anymore.
He's like, he's like a Sicilian?
Sicilians do.
They're a little bit black, right?
Kind of?
I don't exactly know.
I just know that Sicilian people and black people love to dance.
That is true.
I have to say, I mean, you as a black guy, when you see an Italian on the dance floor, don't you go, it's pretty good.
Top tier white.
Top tier white.
Wait, are Italians the best white dancers?
I would like to think so.
Yeah.
I mean, I mean, I think John Travolta proved that, right?
I mean, come on.
That's true.
Are there any other white groups that dance?
Irish got the jig.
Yeah, British dancing.
Spanish if you die.
Like from Spain.
Like flamenco.
But they also have that African influence.
Yeah.
You need a little.
Have you done a show in Italy?
No, that's what I would like to do.
That's something I would like to do.
The Coliseum.
It's a Coliseum.
It's expensive as hell to rent.
I was thinking of Vatican.
Nice.
Outdoor.
You could do it.
You're going to do it.
What's the thing with the paint thing on the top?
Yeah, you're not out there.
We'll go outside.
Oh, that would be exactly.
That's it.
Alfresco.
Like a meme.
And you can do your act clean.
Clean right there, right in front of.
Francisco's there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can Pope Francis come through?
Have you met the Pope?
No, have you?
No.
But I feel like you could make it in a phone.
You don't think you could get in?
I can't get in.
I can't get in.
You didn't mean can't get in.
I don't think I could get in to see the Pope.
I'd have to go with somebody.
Like, here, this is the one who's scared of somebody.
You're the guy.
We've often talked about this in the Pete and Sebastian show.
Okay.
I think George Clooney calls the Vatican.
He's in.
No, this is...
No.
You're in.
I mean, you're in with Clooney.
You're in with Clooney, I'm saying.
He's got a Clooney, but yeah.
Clooney, maybe earlier, but him saying I would need a Clooney.
No, you could call.
He's doing MSG four times.
It's okay.
Pope don't know that.
You don't think the Pope knows that?
I don't think the Pope's.
You don't think the Pope got sent one of your bits?
You don't think the Pope has seen you do comedy?
I don't think so.
Bro.
No.
I don't think the Pope's watching comedy.
Do you?
He's watching comedy.
This Pope?
Yeah.
This Pope is very progressive.
It's got gay people dancing.
Dinner with the transition.
He is at dinner.
I don't know.
I just don't.
I don't see the Pope sitting down watching YouTube.
You know, I feel like he should be doing other things.
Oh, he's got Manascal going again.
Let him be.
Let him be.
Dude, I think I think you'd be surprised who's seen it.
Like every president has seen, every president has seen a clip.
I'll give you an example.
Okay.
Last night, I went to Milos.
Oh.
Okay.
Greek joint.
Which one?
Hudson Yards or the one up on 50s.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
750.
Lovely.
It's my favorite restaurant, right?
Sit down, my two buddies, and Clinton is behind me, President.
Bill.
Both with another couple, right?
Swinging?
Watching Scenes at Greek Joints00:15:22
How old is this couple?
Swinging?
I don't think so.
No, you get older.
You do weird pigs.
I don't know.
You're not doing those.
They're having Brenzine.
Swinging.
They're just out.
I'll jump out.
And, you know, there was no.
He came by, you know, very friendly.
Did he say hi?
No.
Nothing.
He was probably intimidated.
Nothing.
Very intimidating.
He'd be intimidated.
You're intimidated.
Were you wearing the leather?
What were you wearing?
I had a button-up shirt.
It was nothing intimidating.
It was all black.
Oh, you're wearing black.
But then it was like a gray shirt I had.
And the guys that you were eating with were these like serious guys?
It's Italian guys.
Yeah.
Billy can't walk up to a table like that.
What is he going to say?
I don't know.
This woman, the six-year-old woman, came up to our table.
She wasn't afraid.
What, Clinton is?
Yeah, dude.
No, no.
You know what?
I was surprised, though.
What?
A lot of people taking photos of him, just like this, you know?
Walking straight up.
Yeah.
He's like fish.
Yeah.
I didn't really.
I was like, where?
Isn't there like a.
There was security there, but I was like, I thought they would shut that down.
And they didn't at all.
No.
Were people taking pictures of you too?
No.
He was just the when there's a president in the room.
Yeah.
It's amazing how people behave.
Regardless if you're a Republican or a Democrat.
They can't even have a conversation.
Yeah.
I saw Madonna once at the, she was at the comedy seller.
She's just sitting down at a table and people couldn't even talk to one another.
Every conversation was like this.
Yeah, so totally, we'll definitely go out to the.
Nobody was listening at all.
Somebody said that about hanging out with Eddie Murphy.
Everything just stops and you're just, everyone's looking at Eddie.
Yeah.
Was that what was that with, was De Niro kind of, was that, was that like being around De Niro?
Like the energy?
I haven't been in a social environment with him, so I don't know how that works socially.
And he's so unassuming when he's out and about that you don't even really know it's him.
Sometimes I didn't even know it was him.
When we did the table read, I didn't even recognize him.
He came in like a little hat.
Yeah.
He had a beard.
I wouldn't have recognized him on the street or if he was in a restaurant unless somebody told me.
But no, I didn't have that with him on set.
I felt like on set it was like a work environment.
Yeah.
And everybody was kind of like in our own little bubble.
Is he funny at all?
Like in between takes and that kind of shit, like would he bust your balls a little bit?
No, nothing.
No.
Are you trying to make them laugh?
I'm not trying to make anybody laugh.
No.
I'm not.
When I'm doing a movie, that's all I'm concerned about.
I got to memorize these lines.
No small talk.
No, not a lot of that.
He would like go to his chair after the scene.
I would go to my chair and he would have like, you know, a bunch of papers and whatnot and be on the phone.
He'd be talking.
I go, is this guy opening up another noble?
This is your life's work.
This is the pedicure of your career.
This guy's flipping through the fucking times.
I was looking at the expense reports.
So I didn't know there wasn't that relationship.
He's a quiet guy.
He's a quiet guy.
He's kind of to himself and he doesn't talk a lot.
If you talk to him, he'll engage.
But it's not like he was caught and I'm like, what's going?
Where are you going tonight?
There's none of that.
He's like, I'm 80.
I got some rest.
Where am I going tonight?
What about Pesci?
Was Pesci a little bit.
Pesci, he was very cordial and hey, and welcome to the set, nice.
And then he called me into his dressing room afterwards.
We spoke in there.
He was a lot more outgoing.
And we golfed together back in LA.
So he's definitely more of a kind of an outgoing guy.
He lived with my grandparents, weirdly, for like a year.
Really?
When he was like a teenager.
He's in like Montclair, New Jersey.
I think he grew up out there in Montclair.
How are your grandfather?
He was friends with my uncle.
And I think that, I don't know, he like needed a place to stay or some shit and ended up just kind of like living with the grandparents and my uncle for a little while.
Yeah, randomly.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
And then just goes and becomes one of the most iconic actors ever.
But yeah, they were just like sipping Robotussin for a summer.
I think back in the day, Robotussin had like the, what is it called?
The amphetamines?
Yeah, it had like amphetamine.
Yeah, yeah.
So you could get kind of like high on it.
How do you know that?
This guy knows everything.
He knows how to sell a fake porsche.
Do the movie sets ever get monotonous?
Like, is it, are you annoyed being on the set of a movie?
It's not, it was not the most fun experience for me.
What bothers you about it?
It's, you know, doing stand-up.
You know, it's, it's like.
You can't even compare it.
You can't compare it.
It's so boring compared to stand-up.
Yeah.
But you still want to do it.
Like, I understand, I imagine where you're coming from, which is like your whole life.
You're watching movies and you're seeing these things come to life and you're like, I have the opportunity to do it with the greatest actors ever.
And also storytelling, which is what we do in comedy, the pinnacle of storytelling, in my opinion, is through film.
Like you actually get to fucking see it.
But while you're making it.
But what's more satisfying when it's done when you're watching it back?
That's where you get the satisfaction.
So you got to kind of keep your eye on the prize going, okay, you got to kind of go through all this.
And at the end of this, the end product is what you're kind of hoping that turns out fabulous.
Is that more satisfying than watching one of your specials when it's done and edited and all that?
I even don't even like watching the specials.
I like the process of doing stand-up comedy.
I don't necessarily like to watch the end product on a special.
Is it hard like doing jokes and everybody on set can't laugh because it fucks up the take?
Did you get used to like doing jokes to silence?
That was a big, big problem for me, still is.
So you would do this scene, right?
As a comedian, they yell cut and you're like, all right, where's the standing obey?
We're moving on.
Moving on.
There's no feedback.
No feedback.
Although doing this new show, Chuck Lori and Nick Bakay are very good about laughing.
That's great.
The show is bookie on Max, by the way.
Yeah.
Some directors know what comics need and they'll kind of lean in a little bit more to it because we do need because there's moments when I came to the screening of the movie about my father, right?
And there's moments where you're doing like, you're being big, like the bird thing, where the act out you're doing.
And it was like, I'm imagining you doing that on set and everybody's told to be quiet.
And then they're going cut.
And I'm imagining what I would feel in that moment.
Like I'm being big and I'm trying to be funny.
Feel this big.
It's very like, oh, let me see if I could like reach out here and do something funny or whatever.
And you do that and a cut.
And then it's like, that's like.
De Niro takes out the times.
Silence in an act out is just rush.
Oh, no one's broke.
Which you're hoping they yell cut and everybody like just holding it in.
Yeah.
But when you don't hear it, even after the cut, you're like, yeah, that died.
What was the biggest bomb you felt on set?
That one.
That, 100%.
Yeah, that was definitely.
You described the scene for people watching.
So I'm like, I'm walking around.
Me and De Niro are on a room.
In a bedroom.
And we're talking about my wife's side of the family.
And I think the line was something like, yeah, and they're walking around like birds.
I'm like, but I'm even watching it.
I go, I don't think that's that funny.
Even I said as I was watching, I go, no wonder I didn't get a laugh.
That sucked.
But in the room is just the two of us.
So it's him and De Niro, and he's going for it.
And you don't know in the moment, is like, is De Niro like going, This is the funniest shit I've ever seen?
Is he egging you on?
Like, or is he going, I think he was even going, What are you doing?
No, no, no, why, why?
Why?
I just, because you saw it.
I'm sure you were sitting in your seat going, the fuck is that?
So, yeah, no, I don't know.
It was a learning experience.
You got to say your Eddie Murphy was.
Oh, dude, I bombed so big in front of Eddie.
Eddie's the reason I did stand up.
And I had three lines in this movie, and I have like one with Eddie.
And the line, I fuck up seven times in a row.
And it's not a scene where there's like six people here and a few cameras.
It's in a nightclub with minimum 100 naked strippers dancing around.
Okay.
And then people fake tipping the strippers, whatever.
It's Jonah Hills, Eddie Murphy.
And I got to say a line, and I don't even know what the fucking line is, to be honest with you.
Even to this day, I've like blacked it out PTSD, but it's something like, yeah, you know, he was doing Coke because he had it all over the strip in Las Vegas.
And I go, you know, he's on a strip in Vegas.
Fuck.
You know, he's on a cookie.
And I do five in a row.
And I finally get it.
And I'm like, yeah, you know, he's doing his coke.
He's doing his trip in Las Vegas.
And then Eddie is supposed to like kind of play with me.
He goes, Yeah.
Pinch drop, nothing.
Okay.
I'm sitting there and I'm just like, well, this is everything I've ever dreamed before in my entire life.
Everyone I work for.
Nothing.
I'm sitting there.
I'm like, fuck, man.
I just fucked up my moment.
Because that day, that morning, I'm going in, going, I'm going to kill this line.
Eddie's going to go, we should go back out on tour.
It's over.
Yeah.
Literally, the next scene, you know, Felipe Esparza.
Yeah.
Hilarious comic.
Felipe comes out.
He has a line, right?
And he comes in, and his line is, hey, man, I got you these things.
It's the edible arrangements, right?
He comes in, he goes, I got you these things, these edible arrangements.
Eddie's supposed to respond to him.
He stops the scene.
He goes, stop.
He looks at Felipe.
He goes, You're fucking hilarious.
It stops production.
He goes, You're hilarious.
That was amazing.
Let's do that again.
And you're there watching.
I'm sitting there watching faking tip strippers.
And he's doing this line.
And Eddie's like, You got to do that again.
Just one tear comes down, bro.
So you were hoping that he would have said that to you.
Are you kidding me?
So, did you have any banter with him coming into the scene off scene?
No, I was like so nervous to even like, I just, you know, hold him to such high regard that I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, yeah.
In any way, you have so many scenes of De Niro that doesn't go well in your eyes.
Are you scared to improv with him after?
Yeah, your confidence is a little shot.
Yeah.
I think, you know, coming off a physical bit in a movie and they get nothing.
The next scene, we're like, just stick it to the script.
Stop improvising.
Oh, that was a choice you made.
I wonder.
It's like, you know, in the moment.
I'm the feeling.
Can you explain the idea of like of making a choice in acting?
Because I think that's something a lot of people don't get.
You get a script, but it doesn't tell you physically what else to do.
Like there's a story you told about the flicking the pin on Pesci's.
Yeah, yeah.
And doesn't tell you to do it in the scene.
Tell you, but you just, you know, you start doing stuff in a scene that might not be written in the script.
The problem is, if you do not commit, and this is true to stand-up comedy, and I know this because I could tell if I don't commit to a bit, it's dead in the water.
Same thing with acting.
If you do not commit 100% to what you're doing, it comes off as false, fake, people see right through it.
Okay.
And I believe when I was walking around that bedroom like a bird, it wasn't 100 commit, 100% commitment to me.
Can you show us what that would look like, 100% commitment?
Almost like, even just doing it, if you want me to get physical, I see it.
I see it.
I didn't even.
I just did that.
Nobody did that.
That's what I was looking for in the scene.
See, I just started to do a little of it and I'm getting laughed back down.
It wasn't as committed.
And it shows.
It leads right through the film.
You saw it.
I was looking at it in the movie theater going, it's not funny.
Not funny.
It was not.
Tickling your own movie.
I'm telling you.
This guy stinks.
It sucks.
Who is this guy?
For me, they yell cut mid-like.
Like, tell me what happens in the scene.
No, I think I'm doing, I think I'm doing that even longer, you know, trying to make something happen.
There's no way to cut around it because you could have cut it out.
It's your movie.
Yeah, but even like that needed to be in there because, you know, I go, I'm like, it's, you know, that's the best we got.
I mean, you have, you have grander ideas in your head of how something is going to go.
Like you and Eddie Murphy thought that was going to be, oh, this is going to be an amazing scene.
And when it doesn't go as amazing as you'd like it to go, it's A, a learning experience.
And B, you know, it's very, it's very disappointing.
But I took all those experiences from that movie and built upon it for the next project.
Yes.
That movie, I had excruciate, and I'm making excuses.
I'm just saying what was going on in my head.
I had excruciating sciatic pain ripping down my right leg, right?
From the bird?
No, no, no, just from life.
Oh, from stress and back issues.
And I was in Alabama, right?
Away from my family, away from my kids for nine weeks.
And I was contemplating, what am I doing here?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have two kids.
Yeah, I'm doing a movie.
This is fantastic.
But I felt like I was disappointing almost my family.
Yeah, two months.
Yeah, it's a long, that was a long time.
So, so, not to say that I wasn't 100% committed, but externally, I wasn't in a good place.
I was on the road for stand-up every night.
You know, I crushed.
So I'm away from my family, but I know what I just did.
Movie you don't know.
I also think that like people don't realize, like, and again, I'm not trying to count their pockets here, but when someone like you does a movie, when someone like Kevin Hart does a movie, oftentimes they're losing money.
They have to stop touring, hoping that maybe this movie absolutely explodes and you get a piece of it.
Obviously, I don't know what the financials are right there, but like, I don't think people realize that.
I think people just go, oh, movies, everybody makes $20 million a movie, and that's just what it is.
Playing the Sympathetic Bookie00:11:37
It's a labor of love until you're George Kluke.
Absolutely.
That was, I basically did the movie for free.
Yeah.
It was a free in comparison to what I make doing stand-up comedy.
This was like, but you want to broaden your audience.
You know, sometimes you want to challenge yourself.
You're like, okay, let's see what a movie feels like.
Let's see what a TV show feels like.
You kind of got to get out of your way.
What do you think with the TV show?
I think in terms of scheduling and lifestyle, easier than the film?
For me, it was because it was in L.A.
Yeah.
It was with Chuck Laurie.
Chuck Laurie, maybe give some background on what he's done in Montelevision.
Two and a half men, Big Bang Theory, Young Sheldon, Mom.
He don't need to work anymore.
Yeah, no need to work anymore.
Kaminsky method.
So he...
He was a joy to work with.
And working with someone like that who's got north of a thousand episodes of TV under the belt and they're all successful, I felt a lot more comfortable with him in that environment.
We were in Los Angeles.
He knows what he wants.
He's quick.
You know, the whole thing about these TV and it's like he's waiting around.
This was like, this was really quick.
I mean, this was like nine, 10-hour days, which is for that type of stuff is short, short days.
So I had a really totally different experience doing bookie than I did the movie.
Not the poo-poo of the movie, but the...
Who else is in Bookie?
Omar Dorsey plays my muscle.
Andrea Anders is in it, plays my wife.
Vanessa Ferlito is my sister.
Does your wife get to choose who your wife is or have a say?
No.
We ran into a little issue when I did a pilot six years ago for NBC.
Remember that pilot?
And Vanessa Lachey was going to play my wife.
And my wife all of a sudden wanted to get into acting.
Because I could do it.
You could do it.
So she had like a, there was a little kind of jealousy or you think.
A little bit.
Yeah.
A little bit.
Not necessarily.
I just think that's kind of hard to swallow sometimes that your husband is going to have a wife on set.
There might be a kissing scene.
I don't blame her.
And she's fabulous.
I mean, just she's so easygoing.
But that one little, that was like a little like, I want to do it.
I want to try to try acting.
And that was like.
How'd you work that out?
I said, oh, you ain't doing that.
What was her reaction?
No, you know, she got over it.
I think it was just a small speed bump in the road.
And, you know, it was fine.
But other than that, she's been, you know, since then, I've had a couple wives in shows, and she doesn't care anymore.
So your wife on this show is just, she's hot.
Yeah, yeah.
If your wife doesn't get insecure, you're like, did we hire the right wife?
Should we go a little.
What are we doing?
You know what?
We ended up becoming good friends with Vanessa and Andrew.
All these wives I've had in these films, Leslie Bibb about my father.
We've become like fast friends with their family.
So it's been great.
Isn't Charlie Sheen on this one?
Charlie Sheen makes an appearance.
Charlie Sheen's Chuck Laurie and Charlie Sheen.
You know, they kind of parted ways after 25.
They had a big blowout.
And this is kind of the reunion of Chuck Laurie and Charlie Sheen.
So I collect, he plays himself.
So he's running a poker game out of a rehab facility that he used to go to.
And he's not in the rehab.
He's just running the poker game.
And I go to collect money because I'm his bookie.
And he's in two of the episodes.
So how was Charlie?
Was he cool?
He's cool.
He's great.
Great guy.
Very humble.
Very quiet, very quiet, very professional.
I mean, this guy's been acting, God knows, 40 years.
So running line.
Yeah.
So he is clean.
He's back in.
He was.
Did he reflect at all in that time where?
No, never brought up.
Wait, so you didn't, when you're hanging with him, I know as a comedian, there's part of you that's like, just fucking tell me.
I ain't that guy.
Yeah, I don't think he's any guy.
You couldn't look at my mustache without bringing it up.
But that's different.
I know, but this is this.
We're talking about, we're talking about like a, this guy is a traumatic point in his life.
I'm not going to bring that up.
You seem to like a really good point.
He compared your mustache.
I'm a crazy person.
I think that's what we realized after that moment right there.
You're right.
Thank you.
Yeah, no, there was no mention of that.
You know, I'm kept it.
Kept it.
Professional.
I feel like, yeah, for you, private lives or private lives, and that's what's happening.
Yeah, whatever you do.
But also, what a great idea because who is not going to at least tap into one episode outside of your fans?
Like, your fans are going to show up, but the world that doesn't know or doesn't care yet to see your show, but is like, what is Charlie Sheen up to?
Yeah.
It's going to tap in.
Yeah, you would think.
And he's a stud acting-wise.
He's great.
He's great.
And where did the character come from, the bookie?
Was it your creation?
Was it Chuck?
Nothing.
Chuck, Chuck and Nick Bakay.
Nick Bakai was a writer who is involved in gambling.
He's involved in that world.
He likes to gamble and he knows the ins and outs of bookies and whatnot.
They said, hey, I pitched him a story about my life.
Yeah.
But then I'm like, as I'm pitching, I go, do I really want to be me again?
Can I pitch you something real quick that might already have been made, but I think it's the wildest story.
There's the one I told you about.
World War II, America has to go and kind of fuck up Italy a little bit.
They have to find a way to enter Europe.
They find out that the Italian mob in Sicily is very against Mussolini.
So they connect with Lucky Luciano in New York and ask if they can get help from the Italian mob to map out Sicily so they can invade from the South.
So the mob in New York and Sicily helps the American army enter Italy and rid it of the tyrant that is imagine a mob movie where you can root.
You're rooting for the mob.
Like, how has this not been made?
No, and this, this might show my ignorance.
Is this a true story?
This is a true story.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.
This is a true fucking story.
And I'm like, there's all these fake mob stories.
You have the craziest real mob story that involves real dudes.
Like Lucky Luciano, I'm pretty sure it's Lucky.
He starts with a real fucking guy.
They get to be the pseudo good guys during this.
It does sound like a story like an Italian uncle made up, though, right?
You know, it might.
You know, we killed the Nazis, right?
We got a mad.
You know, we ended World War II.
Yeah.
Like, really, is that true?
I mean, how is that?
Isn't that like a fabulous story?
And I think, I'm surprised you wasted the pitch here.
Yeah.
Cut it.
Cut that into Charlie Sheen.
Cut both of those.
Take that.
Take that.
Keep it guard.
Is this real time?
We're live.
Operation Husky was what it was called.
I had no idea.
That is a great premise for a movie.
I like it.
At least you cut that out, though.
And you should pitch that.
Cut it out.
We sell it together, guys.
We sell it.
We're going together.
We take it there.
We need an Italian to help us.
I'll be there wise.
I'll just be there.
And he could do the pitch.
And I'll just be there as the Scotch guy appropriate Sicilian culture.
So we need some more blood in there.
Did you have to talk to real bookies for this role?
I asked Chuck, should I do a deep dive?
You know, because I'm like, I want to be collaborative and whatnot.
He goes, no, don't, don't, you know, don't, don't, don't come.
You know, we want.
You.
We want you.
Yeah, not what a traditional.
Yeah, how much of you did you feel comfortable bringing onto this?
A lot.
Okay.
A lot.
I mean, I play a very sympathetic bookie.
I'm not out to like break legs and bust heads.
But yeah, he wanted more kind of my take on it, not so much.
Yeah, I researched a little bit about bookies and talked to people who use bookies.
I've never used a bookie before.
But it was interesting to find out a bookie in this particular landscape of how he's navigating possible pending doom of the state of California, legalizing gambling.
Kind of where does that leave him?
So, and I also like the fact that we go into a lot of different areas in Los Angeles.
Like we're collecting money from a trust fund kid.
We're collecting money from a housewife, a college kid, and everybody in between.
So it takes you into a lot of different environments where it's like, oh, okay, this is cool.
And it plays to my comedy because it's, you know, I observe and get a chance to play a lot with the environment.
That's really smart.
Yeah, there was a show called High Maintenance.
It was like a really successful web series that HBO did where a weed delivery guy went to a bunch of different houses.
And this is that, but more interesting.
It's a booking, which is just all automatic that we're fit.
This is something Akaj does a lot.
It's like when you have this great idea that you think is unique, he just likes to remind you that it's...
This has been done before.
He does this five times a piece, but this is better.
I was shocked when I said that thing about World War II.
He wasn't, oh, yeah, that was already done.
Indians did that a long time ago.
Yeah, that's how we got the British out of that.
You used to be into gambling a little bit, right?
Yeah, I used to gamble.
Would you get thrown out a little bit?
The only reason I was gambling, my reason for it, was while I was working at the Four Seasons Hotel, I did not like necessarily waiting on tables.
I got burned out.
So when I would go to Vegas, I would gamble hoping I would win so I could take off work and concentrate more on stand-up.
Obviously, that didn't work.
I didn't win.
But later, I found out the only way you really leave a casino with money is performing there.
And that's the route I went.
What was your game when you played that?
Blackjack and Wheel of Fortune.
Best game.
The best game.
Breakdown Wheel of Fortune.
The Wheel of Fortune slot machine.
No.
How much are you throwing in per game?
It was, I think, $3 to get the spin.
And back then, when you're making a grand a week at a comedy club, $3 is a lot of money.
So that was my game.
And there was a machine at Treasure Island.
He had a lot of money.
And used to pay loose.
Next time I went in there, they remodeled the whole thing.
Of course, I tried to find it.
And I lost everything.
I left Las Vegas.
And again, this is pittance with $1,500.
And I thought I was aware of it.
I thought I was loaded.
I thought, man, they're going to have to close it down.
Oh, yeah.
That was it.
It was nothing big.
Losing Everything in Vegas00:04:38
Are you into the fights at all?
You're into boxing?
I love boxing.
I have never been to a live UFC or boxing match, and it's on my bucket list to do.
When do you want to go?
Let's go.
Yeah, we need to go.
I need to go.
I mean, we're going to have to make some cuts, right?
Not everybody's going to be invited.
Well, let's say, say, if you call me up and say, hey, I got tickets to go to see Name the Fighter.
Is really going?
Say again?
Is everybody in the room?
That's the weird thing about me is that, yeah.
And it makes it really hard.
So we're rolling like Wu-Tang clams.
Oh, you come deep.
Yeah.
Okay.
See, if I called you, I said, let's go out to dinner or let's go to an event, it's just me and you.
Yeah, my wife's not even.
I show up with my wife, you're like, what do you think?
Who invited her?
If it's a couple thing, you'll tell us.
I'll know how to do it.
I'll let you know.
But yeah, it's nice that you incorporate everybody.
It's nice.
No?
It's cute, right?
It's cute that it does.
But even like if you get invited to something that he's going to and you find out everybody's going, do you go in?
Everybody.
He loses the allure for me.
Yeah, exactly.
So I shouldn't invite him.
We're all going to UFC thing.
He's like, yeah, I got everyone's tickets.
I'm like, oh, my God.
Well, that's very nice.
That's very nice.
You're very inclusive.
Yeah.
Right?
Have you always been like that?
Very inclusive, very kind of outgoing guy.
I think it's more just like, I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings or make them feel like they're not a part of it.
Okay.
So if you had your choice, not everybody would go.
Just feel bad.
You feel bad.
In my mind, I thought I was being the good guy in that moment.
And you just expose what a piece of shit I am.
You say he's soft.
He sees me soft.
Yeah, he's like, oh, if I don't fight him, they're going to be mad at me.
Right?
I wouldn't want them to feel like they're not an equal part in this.
But he doesn't.
He'll get two seats ringside.
He gets to be right there.
And then instead, it's all seven of us in the middle in the back.
Because he'd rather have more seats in the back than the two up front.
And I'm looking at him like an idiot.
Like, dude, just take the better seat.
Okay, so you would sacrifice your own pleasure of watching something for the betterment of the team.
He doesn't want to go with you anymore.
Unless my wife is there and because she won't sacrifice her watching enjoyment.
Like, I was like, yeah, we could just sit in a shittier place, but we'll all sit together.
And she'd be like, why?
Yeah.
She wants the front row.
No, it's very commendable.
I like your style in that way.
I wish I could be more inclusive like that and invite a lot more people that, but I'm just not like that.
I like a tight, tight group.
Tight, tight.
Eight tops?
Eight.
I said two.
Me and somebody else.
No, there is a number, though, of like a dinner, for example.
There's a number where it breaks off into so many little conversations.
It's like, why are we all eating together?
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Like, what is it?
Maybe six.
When they start making you do the prefix meal because you went, you know, over eight.
It's a long table, not a round table.
Yeah, we're not all hanging out anymore.
Like, do you know what I'm saying?
Like, it's an eight top round, which I think is a good, good.
The Chinese are Chinese.
They get it right.
You go eight top rounds and they have the thing spinning.
Everybody could talk to everybody.
Yeah.
It's perfect.
When you go long, you go long.
You only got this person here right and left and maybe a couple diagonals.
Maybe.
Maybe.
But I feel round is.
Be honest.
When you go out and you see a long table, do you jockey?
I leave.
Andrew leaves too.
He's got the prereq.
No, must have backs.
Oh, that's the other thing.
I don't do like communal table picnics.
If it's a bench with no back, I'll leave the restaurant.
That bothers me.
I can't.
I need a back to a seat.
I'm at a point where my back muscles are not strong enough for me to just sit upright for a whole dinner.
And also digest.
I mean, it's the whole thing.
It is ruined if there's not a back.
If it's a tall stool for me and no back, I'm not sitting on a tall stool.
I'm just a bar for my jungle.
You could just do a bar stool for dinner.
Oh, no, no.
I mean, I don't know if I would go as far as like leaving the restaurant if there was no back on the seat.
Yeah.
I mean, like, well, it depends.
If you and your wife go out and there's no back on the seat, are we just...
We're eating at home.
Okay.
Or we're going to another restaurant.
Okay.
Or I have to find a wall next to the end of the bar.
And that's my back.
Well, it's good that you know what you want, right?
Support this.
I can't.
Support it?
Absolutely.
Really?
Stool Comfort Standards00:04:04
I can't believe that you would tolerate such a thing.
Well, the restaurants I generally pick.
Yeah.
They're not picnic tapes.
No, some foodie spots will do this.
And you're like, what are we doing?
Yo, I have, I've, have you been to Tokyo?
Have you been to Japan?
I have been to Japan, but on a USO tour, not for a vacation.
Okay, so no sushi.
You didn't do it.
Yeah, we didn't do the whole.
Like you would now.
You didn't go out and go out.
No, at the time, no, I did not go out.
Wise.
I mean, I went with my wife.
We had amazing sushi.
But there's a place that I would recommend avoiding that you might want to frequent if you hadn't spoken to me first.
You know, the Jiro guy from Jiro Dreams of Sushi?
Yeah.
That was the worst sushi we had.
Really?
Yeah.
Almost inedible.
Really?
Isn't he like at a train station?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No good.
Hard to find.
Hard to find.
Hard to get in.
Hard to get in.
How'd you get in?
Like, what do you do internationally to get into a joint like that?
Do you got to go through?
Are you involved in that?
Oh, this guy.
Let me tell you something.
Yeah.
This guy, there is no door that cannot be opened.
It is one of the most amazing things watching him amoeba into whatever he needs to be in order to get us where we need to go.
I mean, unbelievable.
You haven't even, you haven't never seen anything like this.
Well, give me like an example.
I mean, the Jamil example when you guys are at the place in London, you remember this?
I wasn't even there.
This is something he told me.
Okay, there's or me in study abroad with you.
Oh, okay.
This is, this goes back to when we were kids.
We were in Paris, 21 years old.
I go to visit him in Paris.
He goes, listen, the way you get into nightclubs here, there's an old lady that's at the door for every nightclub, right?
And he goes, if I look at you, just nod and smile.
I go, what are you going to say?
He goes, don't worry about it.
If I look at you, you just nod and smile, right?
We go up.
There's like fucking eight guys.
There's like, we should never be in this fucking nightclub.
He goes, he starts schmoozing.
He speaks French.
He's talking to the old lady, looks over, and I just go, walk in.
Takes us to some table.
I'm up there.
Everybody's dancing.
All of a sudden, the owner of the nightclub comes, walks over, right?
And he's like, he goes, hey, man, thank you so much for coming.
This means so much to us that you would be here.
And I'm like, all right.
And he goes, and congratulations about your movie.
I'm like, okay.
And I find out he told them that I was Ashton Kutcher.
So I'm, no, fuck you.
I'm sitting there with the owner the whole night because he just fucking, you know, yapping in my ear while he's out here trying to take down chicks to his horrible load.
Which I did.
Thank you.
Anyway.
But is that premeditated?
You go in to these flexible Floyd just figures it out in the ring?
Yeah.
That's this guy.
And I've seen him do it across the board.
What's the Jameel thing in London?
The Jameel thing is a similar thing, but it's the Olympics in London.
And he goes up to the door and he goes and looks at Jameel.
Jamil's a taller black dude with dreads and he's going.
Jameel just waves the same exact thing.
I told Jamil he was a runner.
He was a freshman.
Olympic athlete.
Olympic athlete.
We had our passes from viewing the Olympics, but it looked official.
And I'm the Jewish guy next to a cool-looking black guy.
And I'm like, I managed him, and he's on the 4x400.
You can't pick the specific event.
You have to be as part of the relay team so that they're not going to...
No, that's supposed to be.
This is the move.
This is the move.
He does this.
He'll Google who the owner is, right?
And when he goes and talks to the Matri-D, it's just word salad.
He's not even making complete sentences, but he'll get the owner's names, right?
And he'll be like, hey, how you doing so much?
Yeah, we're just sent from Miami and Art Basel.
And obviously this whole F1 thing is such a debacle.
David Lucas told me to come by.
And anyway, he just buzzwords, buzzwords, buzzwords.
And there is a free tail spin.
Fraternity Mind Tricks00:04:14
They have no clue what to do, and they just go find table.
Wow.
You've never seen anything like this.
You have to confuse when you're dealing with somebody who don't even speak the language.
That you go at the hotel.
The hotel does everything.
Oh, at a hotel.
That shit is hard to get into.
Over there, things are hard to get into for them.
But when you're just at a hotel, you tell the concierge and they want foreigners to go.
It was probably the easiest reservation I get.
All right.
But it do not go.
It was 22 minutes, $500.
Oh, it wasn't $500.
A thousand?
Because you have to buy a blazer.
Oh, that's right.
I bought a suit to go because I read all the rules.
And they're like, you have to respect this.
It's tradition.
We didn't drink alcohol there.
We didn't even talk to each other.
Like, it was awful.
I hate that sushi shit.
You don't talk.
It's just eating at the bar.
That's a date night.
That's terrible.
I mean, I wanted it.
Here, you don't have that.
Here, we do whatever.
Even the sushi bars where it's just a bar and it's not really tabled.
I'm not sitting next to you like it's fucking lucky.
They're not a talkative bunch, the Japanese.
I know, get what they do.
Assimilate a little bit.
They don't like to chop it up about what's going on.
No.
They speak Japanese.
You don't.
You know what?
They might be talking.
Yeah, that is a good point.
No, we would go and see the people on dates there and they'd just both be on their phones.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're a quiet culture, Jeff.
Quiet culture.
And they're very neat.
I like Japanese people.
Very, very neat and very systematic.
That's a big thing for you.
I like, yeah, I like organization.
Did a mess outside bother you when you walked in?
Absolutely.
Thank you.
He cleaned up for you.
Do your kids start wrenching that, though?
You're so organized.
All of a sudden, you have these kids.
I'm not that organized.
Listen, I play it up.
It's not like I got matching, you know, it's a sock drawer and whatnot.
I mean, yeah, they're organized, but...
No, you're organized.
Yeah, you're organized.
Yeah, you're organized.
Come on.
If you had the matching sock drawer, you'd be happy if you had like a.
Yeah, I had bikes, matching sock drawer.
No, it didn't bother me.
I mean, listen, it's just like a hang, you know?
It's like a bunch of guys hanging around, it's a bunch of bikes.
It's so fun.
This is beautiful.
It's the whole studio.
No, it's a hang, though.
What does it mean?
It's like the table.
He's got ninja turtles.
You know, it's not a layer.
Are you saying this is a layer?
It's a layer.
Listen, you have bikes for the couch.
Okay.
So it's like a hang.
I guess it is a hang.
It's like a frame like that.
It's like a frat, right?
Yeah, it's got like a fraternal environment.
Did you have to do any weird stuff to get into your frat?
No.
You know, the only thing I had to do was, and I don't even know if this is even bad, but they put a blindfold on me.
And I had to get crawling on the floor, and there was potato chips on the floor.
And they told us it was glass.
And that was like a little mind trick.
And then they...
Did you react and say, I'm not doing this?
No, I didn't.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.
I wasn't one of those guys.
Oh, doing that.
What do you want me to do?
On the floor, on the floor.
Yeah.
I ended up coming to the president of the fraternity.
Oh, really?
And we eliminated that thing.
Make it all a mess.
There's food on the ground.
Yeah, when I ran the fraternity, I was a little bit more like, I pitched a computer lab room.
I said, this is what you need, though, for a fraternity president.
I was in a fraternity.
This is how our president was.
Oh, exactly.
Yeah, so we were at a party house.
I said, let's take some of this money we're doing for after hours.
We'll buy three computers.
We don't have to go down to the library and use the computers.
We could print our resumes right here.
Fuck that.
We ain't doing that.
And the computer room was never a thing.
I got voted down.
But this is where my head was.
I wanted to be productive.
And the fraternity that I was with, they wanted to be a bad person.
Sigma Pie?
Sigma Pie.
Sigma Pie.
Were you in a fraternity?
No.
No?
It wasn't that big at my school.
There was fraternity.
Like he was in the Jewish school.
Yeah, I believe that's the thing.
To party for free at my fraternity.
Oh, he's held on to these dudes for the crazy thing that happened.
The non-Jewish guy got something for free.
No, but they had good parties.
And the Jews all joined the Jewish frat.
But outside of that, it wasn't like some schools, you need to be in a fraternity to have like social life.
No, you lived on the beach.
Zoom Podcast Breakdowns00:09:06
You had a funny thing.
Yeah, your school was like a party school.
That was the best school to go to.
It was wild.
It was California, in my opinion.
Did you ever go up there?
Crazy weekends.
No, I went to the Wood Ranch, whatever the hell you want.
What was it called?
Woodbrick?
Bricks.
Bricks guy.
Love Wood Ranch.
Yeah.
But even that, I went to Bricks.
I did the gig and I went back to Los Angeles.
Immediately.
Immediately.
Gone.
I had to run out of that place.
That was a nightmare of a gig.
Wait, why, why, why?
I thought you killed.
Killed.
There was no introduction.
It was like.
They were eating.
Yeah, the people were eating.
And next thing you know, they're like, wow, comedy?
Yeah.
It was like a surprise.
Yeah.
And I just, you know, but those are the gigs, though, those are the gigs that make you the comedian you are today.
You got to go into Bricks at 7:30 during a full meal and make, you know, 100 people laugh that are got eggplant hanging out of their mouth.
You know what I find interesting is people are really, really supporting stand-up comedy live entertainment as a whole.
I think the numbers are up, you know, 29% from last year.
So, I mean, yeah, I did some research.
It's amazing.
Well, I love the business of comedy too, just trying to figure out like even ticket pricing and whatnot and all that stuff.
But yeah, I think.
What are you doing for that?
What are you doing to figure out the ticket pricing?
Well, I, you know, even like I got an opportunity to go to the Middle East.
I think you were, were you just there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, we were out there.
Abu Dhabi.
Abu Dhabi.
I don't know what.
Are you doing that one?
No, no.
I don't know what it was.
It came recently.
It came in.
But before I go.
We price stars on yours.
We're like, whatever you're paying Sebastian, I need to make 15%.
I was the model.
Yeah, but I like to dig in, like, who's been there?
What was their average ticket price when they were there?
I like to figure out where you price yourself and what the demand is.
But I mean, live shows right now are through the roof.
I mean, if you look at what Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, and Beyonce.
I think everybody's locked in for COVID and now they feel like they're free to go out.
When does that end?
When does that dip off?
I think you're starting a little bit.
Yeah.
A little bit.
And not dip off to zero, but I think it's like the market is cooling a bit.
Yeah, it will just regress back to like a good, solid place.
Yeah.
And I think those people that have audiences won't feel it as much as maybe people that haven't built in like a real core fan.
Yes.
No, I would agree with you.
But, you know, I mean, doing arenas.
I mean, after your tour, it will.
Yeah, exactly.
After the tour you just announced, then your tour will probably be the last one, is what I suspect.
No, it'd be interesting.
It'd be interesting to see.
Just because, you know, it's a lot of pressure to come up with material.
That's the thing.
Like, you don't, well, you have a podcast, but it's not like a source of your life's income.
Like, you can't just your podcast is broke.
What I'm trying to say.
It is.
You know?
Fortunately, you make the most money ever doing comedy, so you can afford these amazing things that you do.
But for us, we can make a living on the pod, and then it puts less pressure on, okay, I got to get a new hour ready to go by this time.
Okay, I'm going to ask you a question.
Talk to me.
You guys do this podcast.
Yeah.
Is there a secret?
Yes.
To the podcast?
Yeah.
Okay, you guys are all funny.
You have a great camaraderie.
You have guests on.
Is it the guests?
What do you think makes a successful podcast?
The bikes by the sofa.
Yeah, the bikes are huge.
The bikes are huge.
Besides the bikes and the guru, you got six.
Our main success, if I'm being serious, is the fact that we don't have Pete Corialli on the podcast.
I think that's what makes just ours.
That's just ours.
Again, I don't understand.
Love you, Pete.
You're fucking mad.
But no, I think it's like, obviously, you got to take a seat.
Like, you guys were doing Zoom for a while.
Yeah.
Can't do Zoom.
Nobody wants to watch a fucking Zoom anything, right?
Like, I don't want to watch a news interview on Zoom.
I don't want to see anything on Zoom ever.
Okay.
Even if it's like war news, I'm just like, oh, it's Zoom.
Yeah.
Get out there, buddy.
Totally agree with you.
Yeah.
Totally agree with you.
But our podcast was almost like this.
We've been doing it for 10 years.
Pete's been in someplace else.
I've been so we just, it wasn't really, it was something that's like a hobby almost.
Yeah.
But then we started to really, you know, kind of get into it.
I go, yeah, let's try, you know, in studio stuff.
Let's try some guests.
Let's see, see what happens there.
I mean, it immediately changed, huh?
Not that it like skyrocketed, but we have a spike in listeners.
Yes.
And there's nothing better than in-room contact.
You know, like if I was phoning this thing in on the screen, it's just not smelling.
Yeah.
I couldn't smell you.
I mean, there's a lot of stuff.
Half isn't a delay and all this other stuff.
The audience can feel it.
But also, the cool thing is that you get to work from home.
You're around your family.
You know what I mean?
It's just one of those things where you don't have that pressure to, oh, shit, I need a new hour by February.
So let's go because this tour starts here and I got to fucking go.
Yeah.
You could do that whenever the hell you want to.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, but it is difficult to come up with.
How the fuck are you coming up with a new hour?
Well, I got to live.
That's why I took some time off.
I was constantly on the road.
This and that.
I had no time to even live my life to extract any material.
So I said, you know what?
Let me take a beat here.
Let me concentrate on other things, whether it be a TV show, the podcast.
Let me spend some time with my family.
And I was talking to Chris Rock about this, and he kind of put it: he goes, There's no way you could make an entrance if you never leave the room.
Yeah.
Get slapped a bit.
Yeah.
Is that his advice?
Oh, I didn't know where he was going with that.
But yeah.
So you got to live.
You got to have someone to talk about.
Live a life worth talking about.
There's a thing that sometimes you see comics doing with it as part of their joke.
They're referencing when they do.
One time I did this in Alabama and then this happened.
And every time I see it, I'm like, oh, you're not living a life outside of comedy.
Like the only things that are happening to you that are worth talking about are the other things that are happening in comedy.
And people don't do comedy.
They don't do comedy.
They live life.
Yeah.
I agree.
Yeah.
You got to extract from real life experiences.
So.
So this one right now, this tour that you're announcing, tickets are on sale right now.
Right this second.
Yeah, Ticketmaster.
And it's for July.
And this one, you were telling me before, this is about just how insanely rich you are.
And like, right?
Didn't you say like you're like, I have so much money now.
So now I get to tell it.
Paul, I stopped being relatable.
You guys won't get it.
Is that what this is?
I should have been no, you're not.
You're not.
You don't have money until you start parking bikes in your living room.
That's where the real success is.
Okay, so they can go check out the tour.
They check out the show.
The show is available on Max.
Now it's called Max.
We knew it as HBO Max before that.
Now, anybody who has HBO Max, obviously, you're going to check out this show.
Max, I guess HBO owns the company.
Break down what happened with that.
What is going on?
It's Max.
I don't think there is an HBO anymore.
I think it's just a rebrand.
So HBO is within Macs.
Within the Max family.
Although it's a Max original.
I don't think, don't quote me on this.
I don't think HBO is around.
It's there on the platform, but I don't think it's a HBO show anymore.
Like HBO ain't putting out any more shows.
It's under Max, I think.
I don't know.
Interesting.
Yeah, I think the name is.
It was HBO Go before that.
HBO Max.
Now it's just Max.
Max.
Yeah.
Discovery Max owns them.
Discovery owns them, and that's why it changed to Max.
Now you can get Discovery shows on Max also.
I was wondering why they did that.
And then HBO may come back as like, okay, it's still a great property for high-end movies and shows.