Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh detail their bold move to buy back rights for the special "Infamous," bypassing corporate censorship to retain full creative control. They contrast this independence with restrictive industry timelines, arguing that direct-to-consumer models via Moment House ensure artistic integrity while funding high-production values like eight cameras and a 50-person crew. The discussion extends to broader themes of creator ownership, challenging traditional distribution networks and asserting that financial risk is necessary for authentic comedy in an era of executive interference. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Gambling on Comedy00:14:42
There's no people, no money, and it's censorship.
Can't do it.
There has to be another way.
I don't know if this is the way.
I hope this is the way.
And again, this is a gamble, but if it works, and comics find out that they can make more money doing this than doing traditional network specials, there'll never be a note again on comedy.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant.
It's the boys here.
Schultze, Akash, Marky Gags, Alex Media.
You know, we got Miles Media.
We got Valal Deans.
Dove is doing something.
We don't give a fuck.
Okay, we don't care.
Tell Dove nobody cares about his family, close friends or not.
Okay?
I'm tired of him posting all these little cute-ass pictures of his family, okay?
Some of us don't have adorable little cousins that we could post.
Oh, shit.
50s up there.
Guys, Mark told us all to dress in outfits that reflected our vacation.
Yeah.
Okay.
I forgot.
I forgot that because it's Independence Day.
We're working on July 4th like the fucking Americans did to get independence.
Oh, factual.
Factual.
So I came dressed like this.
Akash came dressed like how he always dresses.
Plus a flower.
Plus a flower, which makes it a little bit Hawaiian.
Al came pretty much dressed how you always dress.
I don't know where you went on vacation.
Where'd you go on vacation?
LA, clearly.
Nah, bro.
That's L.A. Son.
I look like Valo on every other day.
Yeah, but Valo had been here.
The hair polish is the weird thing about it.
And I guess like the Pearl necklace.
The chokers is wild, bro.
I didn't realize how thick your neck is, dude.
You got a fucking retard neck, bro.
That shit is unbelievable.
We don't have that much separation right now.
It ain't that much.
Your neck is crazy, bro.
Look how he's doing every in this bitch right now.
Suck it out of here.
Here are you.
There's no way.
I got a slender neck.
Your neck?
Son.
Compared to yours.
Look at them chokers right there, bro.
Let's measure necks.
If you take a deep swallow, them fucking necklaces are break.
I can't even say.
Come on.
There you go.
Let Andrew drive his necklace on.
You look like Noah, yo.
That shit is wild.
Watch out, because this is my girl's shit, so don't break it.
Lying, bro.
Yeah, come on, dog.
Lying, dog.
Hold on, let me get it.
Okay, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Mark is dressed like Hermione.
No, don't take it.
You ain't gonna put it back on.
Son, why Mark dressed like Hermione thinking he's Scottish, bro?
Scottish top.
Don't wear fucking suit tops.
Yes, sir.
They do.
Blazers?
Yes.
Nah, there's no way we dress.
Nah, bro.
You Hermione, bro.
Hermione, dude.
Look at him.
Son.
This was your idea, too.
Come on.
This is your idea.
This is the best you can find.
You're so smart.
Solve the riddle.
You know what I mean?
Look how much room you got.
Son, you might be part down syndrome.
Son, you holding it all the way up.
You're part down syndrome, bro.
You're part down syndrome.
Look at you.
Why your face is that?
Look at this.
That shit is.
Can't even breathe right now.
Nah, it's baggy.
It goes all the way down.
Your shit don't even go down.
Son.
No.
You look a beige bull, bro.
Our days are over with black people wearing fucking chains around their necks.
This is a pearl necklace, dog.
Hey, swag.
I have not for it.
It's Independence Day, bro.
Black people can celebrate this too.
Why not?
Yeah, white foot on chains on Independence Day, dog.
What's that about?
What's that about?
What do you mean?
That's how Africans celebrate.
We wear gold around our necklaces because we were kings.
Oh, I take that.
What do you got to say?
Niggas want to wear them cheap ass chains.
I'll tell you that shit right now.
With a flower clip on your head.
I celebrate my people.
We're stingy.
You get it out of our house.
Why would we do such a thing?
Why would you spend the money on something that's important for us?
Son, I don't know how to dress, bro.
I don't know how to dress in women's shit like you.
Green-ass nails?
Professionally dumb.
What are you doing with the necklace?
I don't know.
I'm swag, bro.
I'm like, this is how you gotta rock the purple.
Just be careful like that.
Is this real?
Yeah.
You got your girl real pearl necklace?
No, it was my her grandmother.
He didn't get her no goddamn pearl shit.
It was a grandmother shit.
Some sentimental shit, bro.
Why you wearing around your thick ass neck then?
Son, bro.
You are guys a prop.
Nick and thick.
I'm thick.
Is that right?
I'm trying to say it like a Spaniard.
Stop it.
I'm trying to say it like a Spaniard.
Stop it right now.
Guys, my new special, Infamous, is available for pre-order right now.
We're going to talk about more at the end of the episode, but go pre-order at theandrewschultz.com.
You know, we bought the special back because we didn't want to cut any fucking jokes.
We didn't want the material to be sacrificed for some boardroom fucking suit that knows nothing about comedy.
So I would appreciate your fucking support.
Go get it right now, d'AndrewSchultz.com.
We'll talk about more later.
But thank you so much for all of you who have already supported me.
The Army provides asshole Army for Life.
Thank you so much.
Let's change the fucking game again.
All right, let's get back to the show.
Guys, listen, we got tons of things to talk about.
Yeah, we missed a lot of stuff on vacation.
Listen, listen, listen, listen.
It's good, just listen.
I know everybody thinking right now that we're going to talk about this special, but we're not just yet.
Because we have serious political conversations to have.
Yes, okay?
Because I think the four of us and you guys, but less, can solve Roe versus Wade.
Well, you already saw something.
What else?
Travesty.
Yeah.
Man, what's a travesty?
What's a travesty?
Yo, is Alan a serial killer now?
If they reverse it, can they go back?
Snitching on Alan.
You get locked up, my boy.
Yo, you getting locked up.
When they reverse it, they're going to go back.
It's on the women.
It ain't on me.
That's a good ass point.
That's a good joke.
I wonder if somebody said that before.
I wonder if somebody said that in a comedy special coming out very soon.
Okay?
Probably in a couple weeks.
Yeah, that was a good promo.
I love that, Al.
Keep it going.
Edit.
No, that was a great joke.
Are you familiar with that?
From directing?
A comedy special, perhaps?
Y'all pointed at me, bro.
Al said that shit, but he just thought it a greatest comeback in abortion history.
You know, the greatest comeback in abortion history.
Motherfucker called for an edit.
Can you not abort anything in your life?
Damn!
Can you leave something in it?
Leave it in!
Leave it in.
This is the problem.
That was good faith because you came out and then we walked all over it, but then you just did it.
But then he waited.
You did that shit.
Al, you be coming in.
Al.
Al, we back, okay?
We back.
Over a month ago, we did an episode.
Can I just say something?
We out here with this.
You're making me nervous.
I'm not going to spill shit.
These are real.
Yes, they are.
That's not real, bro.
Grandmother's turn.
Suck.
Oh, my God.
That's not real.
Can you taste it?
I've tasted a pearl necklace, Jim.
Those are ano beans, I think, bro.
That's wine.
Al, you're going to let him talk about your wife's grandmother like that?
You just put that in your mouth.
He don't know how we use them.
You don't know how we use them.
I was a freaky motherfucker.
He's living your ass, Al.
Hey, you never know.
She puts analyses.
But it's a small one.
How does my shit taste, nigga?
It's Independence Day, Al.
That was reparations right there.
Yeah, it was.
That was what you just did to me was reparations.
Okay, I just repaired you.
That's not the reparations.
We got to repair black people.
Repair is not in the word reparations.
We have to repair them.
Keep going with this.
We repair them economically with reparations, bro.
So using the base word of reparations is repair?
Son, when I dropped off my fucking motorcycle the other day and I asked him to reparate that shit.
The one that got stolen?
What are you talking about?
I don't got that shit no more.
Damn, my fake jokes can't work anymore.
You guys know too much about my real life.
How'd you get your bike stolen, by the way?
How'd you get your bicycles on?
The same way other people get it stolen.
Are you really going to bring that up?
What?
I think they already know.
Didn't we talk about it?
Yeah, but I mean, like, who lost two fucking bikes?
Oh, yeah.
I didn't lose it.
Son of a bitch?
Who's that?
Son of a bitch.
I was robbed.
Al, why don't you tell us about how happy you are about Roe v. Wade didn't turn out?
I'm good, bro.
I'm good.
This is from a little over a month ago, okay?
We did an episode of Flagrant 2, and this is what happened.
They're trying to abort the abortion bill.
Oh, shit.
Oh, not going anywhere.
Why is that?
It's just not going anywhere.
Why is that?
Because it's not, bro.
It's a part of the foundation of our society.
Ever since 1973, you could get these scoops, man.
And they're not going to get rid of the scoops.
There's too many jobs on the line.
Do you know what I mean?
All them little baby caskets and shit.
Damn.
Listen.
So, Al, don't you dare be offended by it.
When you've done the work, we gotta pay for a casket after that?
The damage is done.
There you go.
Here you go.
Thank you.
There you go, right there.
So do you stand by your statement?
Yeah, it's not going anywhere.
Abortion's not going anywhere.
I don't know why people trip about abortion.
Abortion's not going anywhere.
So where's it going?
How's that?
Say again.
How's that?
Say it again.
The dude, let me buy a second.
Can I buy one?
One second.
Can I buy one second?
It is impressive.
That's all you need.
That's it.
You repeat your shit.
You didn't communicate it well enough.
Yeah.
And that will give me more time to think.
You know what I'm saying?
Because you want to fuck up your communication.
No.
In all seriousness, like if the dude flew you out to get pregnant, you don't think he'll, you know, fly you out to liquidate?
Yeah, but the state might prosecute you for that if you leave the state.
Nah, they can't do that.
How can they not?
States' rights.
Oh, hell yeah.
America, bro.
States rights.
Bro, this guy loves America.
America, bro.
I'm from the North.
Union.
Union?
Where we be scooping out the fetus.
Hey.
You know my favorite part of the fetus?
What's that?
The feet.
Okay.
I want to talk about the feet thing, but we can talk about that later.
Why?
Why?
It's Scotland, bro.
Scottish people are mad weird.
Why?
Whoa, Oh, yeah.
We should talk about vacation.
Okay, we can talk about that later.
Let's keep going on.
Roe versus Wade.
Who's right?
Roe v. Wade's not going anywhere.
But it is already federally.
It's gone.
But do you know who Roe was?
Do you know this story?
No.
Okay.
Tell me the story.
Do you guys know the story of the Television Wade?
Tell me the story.
Tell the story.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Inform us.
Everybody, you know.
Comfort us the way you comforted us here.
This is why Roe v. Wade will not go anywhere.
What year was it?
Okay.
The year was 1983.
73.
73.
And also it happened in 78.
I learned that from you 30 seconds ago.
Oh, I said it in there?
Okay, I had no clue.
Someone must have brought that up before.
But the girl wanted to get an abortion.
Oh, okay.
I didn't see that coming.
Yeah.
That was Wade.
Yeah.
And that was pretty.
That was Roe, I think.
No, don't let him get in your head, bro.
Keep going.
Yeah, that was Wade.
Wade wanted to get the abortion.
Right?
And Wade and Roe was like, chill.
Yeah.
And they fucking played one-on-one, and it was fested three.
And then whoever wins got to decide.
Oh, wow.
And the girl actually won.
And so what did she decide?
She got that fucking thing strangled out of her.
What?
What?
What, dude?
What?
I didn't realize that was the full story.
Yeah.
Is that true or did you just make that up?
I might have made that up.
Now that Rover's Wade is completely overturned, and it seems like your original statements were not true.
Yeah.
We had this conversation.
But it's not overturned.
It's not overturned.
Oh, what is it?
It's chilling.
It's not overturned.
Is it overturned?
Can you get an abortion?
There was chicks lined up to get abortions.
Okay, that's what I'm wrong.
That shit is overturned.
But the Fed means nothing, bro.
Oh, hell yeah, bro.
States right.
Weed is illegal.
Didn't I say that in this shit?
Free speech.
Free speech, also.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Second Amendment.
Shoot it out.
Yes.
Yes.
But it's different if a state is saying something is legal versus something is illegal, right?
You understand how to have it.
No, those are the same things.
You have to make all this sense, nerd.
You know what I mean?
Just go in there, get your abortion.
That's it.
Yeah.
How?
Go in.
Go in where you actually might be able to help.
Some women, if you're in a state where abortion is illegal, how would you advise a woman to get an abortion from her doctor?
What would you do?
One, I would do a Kickstarter.
I'll be the doctor.
You can be a woman.
I'm going to do a Kickstarter.
What is that?
Is that a bunch of people?
You just have your friend kicking right in your side.
That's how abortions are going to be done from now on with Kickstarters.
100%.
I feel like you can just persuade your doctor to get an abortion if you want to.
You could just finesse them.
But the doctor doesn't have an abortion kit.
You just proved it's not that difficult.
No, you need an abortion kit, at least.
You said kick or kit?
Kicked.
Okay.
Yeah, they sell, it's like a bone density scanner.
It's like the Will Smith thing.
You just need a machine.
No, there's a machine that can give the abortion.
Why do I do that traveling?
Like a blood donation.
What do you mean by that?
Like a traveling abortion doctor.
Abortion doctor?
Yeah.
They have that.
Oh, they do?
A traveling abortion doctor?
Yeah.
Yeah.
100%.
Okay.
I didn't know that they had that.
I thought I just invented that.
I mean, they don't necessarily travel to do the abortions, but they, I'm sure, take vacations like we all did.
Yeah, no, that's what I mean by traveling.
I don't mean like they mean blood donations.
A blood donation bus.
I'm like, what the fuck are they talking about?
Is he the abortion doctor?
It's just traveling.
Here he comes.
Portugal.
Spread him.
But he can have like a bus and go around and give life-saving procedures.
No, that's a little bit crazy, dude.
Why?
That's too far.
Why?
Well, because you don't know if it's legal in that state.
Where are you going with this, bro?
What I'm trying to do is talk to you guys about a very serious issue that's affecting women's rights.
Yes.
Free speech.
I'm about free speech.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what do you guys think?
How would you solve it?
I don't know.
That's what we're trying to figure out, right?
Well, my original proposition, I still think holds up.
Which it's illegal everywhere except New York City.
Okay.
Good for economy.
Oh, so you go for like a little abortion vacation.
Like gambling in Vegas, bro.
Abortion Vacation Logistics00:04:15
That's what it is.
Travel, take a vacation.
I think it's kind of foolproof.
Yeah, but what about the women who can't afford to travel to New York?
What about women that can't afford to travel to Vegas and gamble, bro?
It's not everyone's right.
Well, they can go to Atlantic City.
They can go to Atlantic City.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They can go to Connecticut.
Also, go to Atlantic City.
You can also gamble your abortion.
Any Indian territory.
Yes, Indians can abort.
Yeah.
That's the rule.
We got a lot of people.
Not yet.
Not y'all.
No.
I mean, Native Indians.
They need population, actually.
They should not be allowed to abort.
You guys can get your numbers up.
They can do it, though.
I think that's the rule.
Oh, Native Americans.
Yes.
That's reparations.
We need more people.
That's a good point.
They shouldn't.
But they should be able to abort some white people.
That's reparations.
Yes, exactly.
They kill some white babies.
You know what I mean?
That's actually a little payback.
So that's my solution.
That could work.
I'm trying to wrap my head around this.
I don't like it.
Why not?
I think women should be allowed to murder their babies.
Okay.
I agree.
This nigga is crazy.
What?
Isn't that the argument?
Isn't that really what people are trying to avoid?
Isn't that the discussion?
But yeah, it is a baby.
I do think life begins at conception.
It's so dope being a guy.
Every dude, because even every dude is basically like, yeah, women, y'all should be able to kill that shit.
But like, we don't have to bear the consequences of it at all.
So it's easy for us to be like, you deserve the rights, but we do nothing.
That's a good joke.
It's great.
It's a great joke.
2022.
Infamous.
Geezells.com.
You can buy it.
Just put it up on YouTube.
You know, this is what we do.
You can do it when you own your special, when you buy it back.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Free speech, free speech.
But yeah, it's just great being like a guy.
It really is.
I understand why women want to be guys now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get that.
The other way around is a little weird.
Right?
Well, you probably don't have to worry about the abortion thing.
Yeah.
So it's the best of both worlds a little bit.
That's it.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Yeah.
I mean, take it from me.
It's pretty good.
Oh, are you a girl now?
I'm transitioning slowly.
Are you making fun of my culture?
This is my culture, too.
Are you making a mockery of my culture?
My culture.
You're like 2% Scottish.
I said.
14%.
14% of here, dude.
I did a 23andMe.
You know, 23.
20 and me.
It's Gaelic.
Because you thought you saw the puddy cat.
It's rabbit behind the season.
That's Gaelic.
Okay, that's how you pronounce it.
And my culture.
I'm Scottish.
Say what?
I'm Scottish.
14.
14%.
And then what?
Majority French.
I don't trust that 23andMe shit at all.
They just be throwing shit around.
No, it's accurate.
None of that is.
Because if you took it, you'd be like 13% fucking Canadian or something.
They just be throwing it out.
Not all of us get the privilege of knowing what we're from, Akash.
Some people like us had our cultures ripped from us.
And now we have to figure it out.
But what does it mean to be French?
Yeah.
Gay.
How do they know that you're from that region?
And what's specific to that region?
What kind of white are you?
Bro, it's my culture.
Okay, so I can get in touch with myself.
Your DNA is not your culture.
Yeah, it is, though.
How?
Now it is.
Also, hold on a second.
You get the deal.
That's 23.
No, no, no, that's mild.
Also, 23andMe, what does it really prove?
How does it prove that you're French?
I don't even understand what that means.
Just the genes of people from that region.
What do you mean?
How do they trace all that back?
Why does it stop?
No, hold on, take it, take it.
Does it stop at 400 years ago?
Like, how do they know when to stop it?
My setup is born back before.
200% Mesopotamian, bro.
Let's go.
Exactly.
I thought that all humans are from Africa.
Then our 23andMe should be in Africa.
How do they get the technology to stop conveniently where white people are born?
Right?
That's pretty good.
I'm just saying.
This specific 23andMe technology stops 300 years ago.
It just stops.
It shouldn't hustle, yo.
This is hustle, bro.
You do that.
And they say whatever white shit you want.
Tracing Ancient Genes00:15:50
Stupid.
I have another confession.
Here's a twist of the story.
Okay.
It wasn't me that did it.
Who did it?
My sister.
She's 23andMe herself.
Yeah.
So that doesn't.
You don't know if your mom was catching pets.
You don't know, dude.
You don't know.
I'm just saying, bro.
It's 50%.
It's 50%.
I'm telling you, 50%.
I'll point that thing at you.
It ain't nothing you could do in the middle.
Second amendment.
Second amendment.
I'll point that thing exactly.
Click, click, boom.
23 and she.
That's what you guys.
There ain't no fucking accuracy there.
Yeah.
14% Scottish.
That's nonsense.
That punch.
Boom.
We have to even call that out, bro.
That's why he's broken.
That shit was hungry.
I love you.
Yo, he's punisher in the building right here.
Dead in the middle of little Italy, my boy.
But anyway, Roe vs. Wayne is only officially.
Because we are in Little Italy and he was dead in that joke.
I'm just saying.
There's a lot of things that lined up for that big pun line to just crack like that.
It's mad funny when you gotta explain it.
Mad funny.
New specials come to me.
717.
Okay?
Save all that abortion money.
Use it on my website.
Yeah, have a kid and a special.
Boom.
Facts.
Yeah.
Facts.
Okay, go.
So this is what we said.
If Roe versus Wade was going to be overturned, this is what you agreed to, okay?
Bro, hey, watch, Is people talking?
What happens if it gets overturned?
What are you willing to do?
I will do a do you have any memory of this?
No.
Oh, boy.
Like a video where it's I'm on one side and then the kid living a lifestyle.
That is, he's on the other side, and I'll do the duet with him.
I'll do a duet.
David, baby, if it goes over.
Okay, I'll do that right now.
All right.
Yep, it's dead time.
Oh, God.
You ready to look to your word, Shelzy?
All right, let's go.
Yeah, look right into this, Ken.
Okay.
But I need to time it with him.
All right.
You want to get one dry run and then you can go for it for real?
Is he also wearing a pro negligence?
Okay.
Okay.
Timing down real quick.
No, no, I got it.
You want to hit it?
You tell me what.
Give me a little countdown.
Start it up, Terrence.
Let's go.
Give me a countdown.
Go ahead.
Go.
Start it up, Terren.
Three, two, one.
One, go.
At that, Daddy, Death, Dad, Daddy, Dad, Daddy, Life.
At that, Daddy, if you did that, it begins.
Yo, you killed that time.
You ripped it.
That's too easy, bro.
You ripped it.
It's weirdly natural for you.
You think I haven't beat Dick to that video mad time?
I want not.
You were hoping that shit got overturned.
You were excited to say it.
Super excited, bro.
Do you believe in spilling your seed?
What does that mean?
Is that a riddle?
Nah.
It's in the Bible, bro.
That's pretty easy to figure out what that means.
That's in the Bible.
Your boy Luke was saying, don't spill your seed, man.
Wait, are you saying pulling out or just?
No, Don't spill your seed at all.
Jerking off.
Ooh.
Pulling out.
Say it harder.
Say it to me harder.
Don't spill your seed, bro.
Dude.
Honestly, I would like you to put it into like a little red sack and then hang it on the back of a broom and then just walk around and everything.
That would be the best way to do it.
I wouldn't do that.
What does spill your seed mean?
Jerking off.
Spilling sperm.
Okay.
You can't waste any semen.
It's only for inside of a vagina.
Okay.
Yeah, a vagina.
Okay.
What about it?
Do I believe in it?
Yo, son.
I fucking love Indians.
Do I believe in it?
Say again.
Do I believe in it as a construct?
What I'm trying to say is: if we're getting rid of Shmeshmurshin, are we getting rid of Spill Your Seed?
Why would we get rid of it?
Because we got to keep it even.
Like, men and women should be equal.
Okay.
Keep it religious.
I see.
If the reason you don't like abortion is religion, keep it religious.
Exactly.
So you always got to bust nuts.
If these girls are not allowed to bust guts or bust guts too, all I'm trying to say is, you know what I mean?
He's back.
He's back.
No, that is a good point.
Look, I'm just saying it's about equality.
Like, if these girls are not allowed to make a jamba juice out of their baby, what?
What?
What flavor, though?
Just saying.
I don't know.
What flavor is it?
That is a good question.
What flavor would it be?
Yeah.
Mine's be like kind of peanut butter.
What about you?
Why would yours be peanut butter?
Is that a racial thing with George Washington Carver?
Yes.
Is that what you invented?
That's the only way it makes sense.
Hold on.
That's how he made peanut butter, dude?
Yes.
Dude.
Get a dream.
And it was.
It was about an abortion thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Can you go?
You did this to me.
You did this.
Take that.
Take that back.
Miles is loving us.
He's loving it.
Morris gonna say something racist.
Who's racist now on the pod?
Okay.
Yes.
But go.
Uh-huh.
Go on that.
Go on, George Washington Carver.
Go on it.
What about go on it, Tim?
He invented peanut butter.
He did.
Do you know why?
Yes.
Why?
I forgot it.
I forgot why.
How else you're supposed to make your dog suck your dick and balls?
Okay.
In all seriousness, Akash.
Yeah.
Can we get off of this topic for one?
Please.
Okay.
Out of living life, okay?
Finish your fucking bottle.
Okay, it's fine.
Akash.
Yeah.
You went on vacation.
Yeah.
Beautiful Maui.
Loved it.
Had a great time.
Had a great time.
Reflect on your time off.
Did it make you go, I want this to be the majority of my life.
I got to bust my ass working right now.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
100%.
Because it was that nice to chill.
100%.
And just being in a place.
My wife says I'm like, I can't believe God made beauty like this.
Don't be too serious about it.
She goes, I can't believe God made beauty like this.
And we're in New York City.
And my only goal was, let's get the fuck out of here as soon as possible.
That's all I'm thinking about now.
One more winter.
Then we're getting the fuck out of here.
To Maui.
Wherever we want, yo, let's live.
Maui's fire, though.
I haven't been to Maui.
Yeah, you have.
You've been to Maui County.
It is in Maui County.
I've never been to like proper Maui.
It's amazing.
It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah.
I've never seen anything like that.
How was Italy?
Italy was the shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Italy was the shit.
Same, you had the same thought?
I gotta bust my ass up.
That's why I asked.
And I was like, are we on the same?
100%.
Why are we doing this?
I will say this about Italy.
I want to have a longer discussion about Italy.
I want to go through everybody's vacation and I'm curious.
Yeah, it just made me think about things very differently.
Yeah.
But yeah, Italy was fascinating.
I want to have a longer discussion about it.
So I want to know, Mark, how was your, how was Scotland?
How was the motherland?
Amazing.
Now, are you just saying that?
No, actually, it was beautiful.
I heard a funny thing from Mark's wife.
So the wives went to, the girls went to dinner.
I go to pick up my wife.
And Mark's wife is there.
I don't know if we say her name, but and she said that, you know, how Mark has been trying to bulk.
Yeah.
He eats 14 meals a day.
That's unbelievable.
So she goes, we pray for most of them.
Oh, yeah, we know.
We have a ledger.
So basically, she goes, yeah, he's basically in Scotland.
He's like, listen, we're not working out.
I'm eating fried fish, fried Mars bars.
I'm eating like absolute dog shit.
Scotland is like the most heart disease in Europe and stuff like that.
So the worst possible fucking diet.
Food kind of mid, though.
Food mid is a compliment.
I'm like, I don't know.
You wouldn't think it's mid.
This is mid.
Come on.
This is survival.
These people are surviving.
They didn't even sew the pants together, right?
This is like, right?
This is, you know, we're trying to make it.
Come on.
What?
I know it's all that smells when he does it.
What is it?
It just smells like turpentine or something.
Hollywood corner.
Let's go.
Okay, so she goes that Mark ate like shit the entire time.
Yeah.
Right.
Lost weight.
Calls up, calls up Muscle Doc and just goes, I quit.
I was furious.
I was furious.
How is that possible?
We just drove around, looked at sheep, and ate garbage for two weeks.
Sheep pussy fire, be honest.
Uh, it was, yeah, it's pretty good of animals.
Yeah, if you had to beat down an animal, yeah, yeah, sheep dog, spill that milk, yeah, yeah, yeah, for real.
I didn't spill any seed with the sheep, not at all.
Nah, with the sheeps, it was unlocked.
Okay, you know, they got they got ass.
That's why I'm saying like sheep mish.
No, sheeps actually have oh, you don't go mish.
I don't go missionary on a sheep, but from behind, they got the dumpy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I go, I don't like that.
You see that walk?
Two soup dumplings ready to get hopped.
Also, the sheep makes sense, bro.
Say again, the sheep makes sense.
What does that mean?
Like sheep makes it.
It's like banging sheep in Scotland.
Why are you saying shit that I agree?
It's like salsa dancing is fun.
Like, you're saying that to a Latino.
Like, yeah, you don't gotta convince me.
You're more fired in regular pussy.
Well, no, no, no, not regular pussy, but regular fuck sheep, Al.
I won't know.
Maybe regular Scottish.
What am I missing out on?
Tell me.
Listen, who's had sex with more pussies?
This guy or this guy?
I'm gonna trust this guy.
Thank you.
No, sheep.
I think I took down more sheep.
What?
It was hundreds of sheep.
But you didn't fuck none.
Pussy?
My girl.
Like, I don't want to be weird about it.
That's not weird, bro.
It takes two to tango.
That is true.
That is true.
And if you hit it good, they start fucking making noises and shit.
Yo, they do.
It's fire, dude.
It's on women's town, too, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
Bro, look at this.
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding?
Let me see the dumper.
Yo, crazy cake.
That's wild.
Crazy.
Come on, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
BBL.
Baby L, bro.
That's the biggest ass of Scotland by far.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true, though.
Yeah, yo, white sheep got the biggest ass right there.
That's come on, bro.
Stop it.
You're going to have that out there?
That's a pog.
That's a pog, bro.
Yeah.
I'll try to take a few moves down, bro.
Bro, it's hard trying to take down too many sheep.
That shit is tricky, bro.
Okay.
Is that your hand?
Yes, that's me.
That's me.
You start counting them, get sleepy, bro.
Oh, God.
Don't even let him.
Don't let him get away.
Don't even let him get away with that.
Don't get away with it, bro.
Give me the flowers, bro.
Give me my flowers.
Come on, you start counting all them sheep.
You get sleepy.
Bro, it was fired.
You know, he's raised on Disney with that kind of shit.
There's kids that listen to this program.
Okay, that's for yo.
Kids, go, go, go, go.
No, Scottish people are mad weird with feet, though.
Oh, talk to me about it.
Interesting.
Why?
I don't know.
I was hoping you could fill me in, but what happened?
What do you mean?
I was on a train in Scotland.
That's all Miles is already.
Okay.
I'm in a train in Scotland, and we like had just gone.
We were going in, and it was me and my wife, and she was wearing sandals.
Okay.
And we were kind of sitting on opposite sides of the train just because there was a lot of seats.
So we kind of spread out, took a little nap.
And I'm like looking at her.
I'm tired.
And she's kind of looking at me and kind of like a concerned look on her face.
She's like staring at me, like trying to get my attention.
And then we get to the stop and like a bunch of people get off the train.
And then she's like, hey, come sit next to me.
And I was like, okay.
So I go sit next to her.
I was like, what's up?
She was like, the guy that was sitting across from me just took his phone out and like videotaped my feet.
Casualties of a dice game, family.
Yo, it's when I won the gangs out.
Hey, listen.
But I was bad at her.
I was like, yo, why didn't you tell me?
Because I could have sternly spoke to him.
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do to the guy who videotapes feet?
Bro, come on.
I would talk to you.
Take his phone, jerk off that shit later.
Yeah, I'm not gonna airdrop.
Come on.
He was just straight up videotaping her feet.
Yeah, but wanted to curl her toes at all.
I don't think she did to me.
Spread them out.
You gotta spread them out.
You gotta spread them out.
Oh, no, that is even more gross.
You tell me, what's the best defense?
Some, if some guy's checking out a woman's feet, what should she do?
Curl toes, yeah, curl, try to grab something, maybe like is that the grossest way to present a foot?
No, no, no, I think it's spread toe.
Spread is gnarly, too.
Yeah, like you're getting electrocuted in a cartoon or something like that.
But I think a curled toe because then you lose out on the toes and the toes are what you want.
So you're just removing what you want.
It's like you're paying it, you pull up your shirt.
This motherfucker really loves that shit.
This is good information, though.
100%.
This is going to help countless women.
We were hanging out with Hannah last night.
She didn't have any toenail polish on, started curling her feet.
I said, thank you.
I said, thank you.
I appreciate you doing that, covering that shit.
I want to see flesh.
I'm not trying to look down and see flesh for what?
Say what?
Bare toenails?
Bare toenails is crazy.
Yeah, come on.
We can't do all that.
We can't do all that.
What are you guys, bro?
Are you an adult?
Are you a child?
Like, a toddler has flesh-colored toenails.
But why are you taking pictures?
Why are your people?
I locked that in.
That's my picture.
I just classy.
That's not going to be right there.
Yeah, I never forget.
Never forget.
You know what I'm saying?
Photographic memory when it comes to feet.
This shit is so weird.
Why is it weird?
This is so weird.
Well, well, well, what do you got?
Uh-oh.
Oh, call her.
Call her.
Call her.
Ask her if she had to polish on yesterday.
Okay, hey.
Hey, I'm here.
We're on the podcast.
I'm with Andrew.
I'm with Arkash.
I'm with Alex.
Andrew mentioned something yesterday he wanted you to confirm.
Go, go.
Were you wearing toenail polish yesterday?
I was not.
Son, you're a creep, bro.
He noticed that.
You're a creep.
That's so crazy.
That's so observant.
You can't notice that.
I can tell you her outfit yesterday as well.
I can tell you details about her life.
Of course, I can tell you the outfit.
What was the outfit?
Blue shorts, white socks.
She had a black penny loafer and then a white button-down shirt over it.
Is that true?
That is true.
Oh, okay.
Now, I was just doing fucking toenail polish, to be honest.
Yeah, he was.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, he was offended by a lack of toenails.
Observant man.
Who's this?
I'm a friend here.
Just my personal friend.
Yo, you want to know some wild shit?
Anna, come here.
She's on the phone.
Anna, Anna.
Yo, all right.
Remember how Mark used to do those videos in college that he brags about about how he like created these videos and they go viral.
He did it all by himself.
Inventor of the internet, dude.
Oh.
Hannah told us the real story.
Hannah was like, Yo, I walked up to him in the library.
I was like, You got some talent, kid.
Let me make you a star.
I like the cutting of jigs.
She said that.
Right?
And she used her carnival tricks.
She grew up in a carnival.
And she used her carnival tricks to turn Mark into a star.
Why did you notice her feet?
That's mad weird.
Well, you can't not notice feet.
If he noticed everything else, it makes it a little obligatory.
Scottish Inbreeding Myths00:12:38
It's a bull party.
I'm observant.
I notice things about people.
He didn't know what he said.
That's what Al's feet look like.
Yeah, beautiful.
Al's got a decent foot, man.
I got a nice foot.
But it's flat.
Very white on the bottom.
You know, respect.
You got white bottoms.
We fuck with each other.
No matter what.
Al loves white bottoms.
Never change.
Hey, never change.
Let's go.
Keep it true, Al.
Yo, that's nice.
Keep it true.
Okay.
Latina.
Back to the show.
Al started calling his girl from Spain Latina.
Yeah.
That shit almost made me shoot him with a fucking weapon.
Nothing moves the same way.
There's nothing more infuriating.
Come on, man.
Come on now.
Okay.
Can we be serious?
Scotland was dope.
Okay.
I'm glad I spent time with our people and it was a fun time.
Don't do that.
Yeah.
14% of your people ain't even your people.
Yes.
Yeah.
Why are you doing that white people?
Also, how do they make it Scottish specific?
How do you know it's not Scottish?
It should just be Britain, bro.
They should just call it Britain, right?
I'm just saying, I don't believe in this 23.
It's nonsense, yo.
They just want your info.
That's it.
And I saw your people.
I send you a picture of that.
A memorial of your clan.
I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You were at the battle.
You were in a clan?
Yeah.
He was.
He was a little.
He was in the OG.
He was in the OG clan.
You started the clans, bro.
One of them.
You want to clear this up?
Cameron.
Doesn't look big.
It's tribal.
In Scotland, your best name is.
It's not racist.
It's tribal.
It's a maintainer culture, dude.
Family Christian.
No, no.
Everybody in Scotland that his family is actually from there has a clan.
And their last name is tied to that clan.
And that used to be your people.
That used to be your tribe, bro.
So you saw a clan.
Yeah.
Well, the memorial of the battle.
White hoods or no, skirts.
And you're the color of the tartan, they call it.
Each one is different.
So you have your own pattern.
What's your tartan?
What was your clan known for?
Stealing sheep.
Stealing.
Hey, James L. Jeez L. James.
And then protecting the queen.
We're the Queen's Guard.
Come on.
That's whack.
That's whack.
Fucking sheep, I respect.
Protecting this queen, not the British queen.
Oh, the Scottish.
Bottom wish, we didn't do that good job.
Who's meeting fucking MT, bro?
It is what it is, man.
What colors?
What colors was your shit?
They're all the same, bro.
They're variations of the same shit.
It's like African country flags.
You know, it's just mix and matches.
Yellow, gold.
Green, green, yellow.
But yeah.
It's cool, like, when you go back there.
I don't know.
When I was there, obviously, my mom is from Scotland.
And like, this is going to sound corny, whatever, make fun of me.
I don't care.
But like, it's easy, I think, when you grow up in New York and you don't have like a religious background, you don't have like a lot of family to like, you just kind of feel like you're alone.
You're existing alone, which is kind of what I thought.
And then I went to Scotland and I visited, you know, places that my clan had been a part of.
And I was like, oh, shit, like, I'm part of this bigger thing.
And then there are like maybe traits that are passed down.
And we have these certain things.
You want to live up to it.
Be nice.
Say again?
Must be nice.
No, for real.
Like, I didn't realize until then.
And I imagine, I don't know, maybe you feel that way when you find certain things out about you to Puerto Rico and just be like, yo, these are my people now, but I got to go even further back within Puerto Rico.
Yeah.
That's why I want to believe in the 23 years in me because I'm like, okay, they say I'm from West Africa.
So it's like, I want to know.
You never know who you are.
Fuck you.
We all missed the baddie.
I mean, that hurts my heart.
That is.
I don't know who you are.
No, we all mesopotamia, bro.
We need some time.
Keep going.
We're animals, bro.
Okay.
Any other thoughts about Scotland?
Any other funny stories?
Anything happened interesting?
No.
Scottish people are funny.
They're funny, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
And like that pub culture, like drinking out on the fucking shit.
No, that shit is wild, bro.
That shit is awesome.
Yeah.
I've been drinking all day.
Singing songs in a pub.
That shit is dope.
Anybody bust out the piano?
Yeah, they're singing songs in a pub and like everybody knows the songs to the words.
Yeah, I mean, we didn't really go to any of those spots, but like we were listening to like Scottish folk music.
That shit is dope.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Did you see any like Highland games going on?
Nah, we drove past it, though, but that's it.
But yo, Highlanders are kind of fire.
Wild people.
People with the Highland game.
They're like, what is that?
Like not called hammer throwing.
They're all these like, I'm really strong games.
Yeah.
And sometimes you see them in like versions of them in like strongest man type shit.
I'm half.
I'm half.
Not bad.
Got my daddy's arms.
You know what I'm saying?
But look at all these things.
Yeah.
They do this shit.
They just like throw hammers and shit.
Hammers.
Nah.
There's like a long time.
You not that.
Nah.
Yo, these are men, dog.
Even that girl was a man.
That wasn't a man, dog.
This is just your average Scottish shit.
Average.
They're so manly.
They can wear the skirts.
It's like being so manly, you can wear fucking nail polish and shit.
Like, yeah, son.
Lookie, it's a madman.
With most guys, I would say, yeah.
Dude, the fact that it's matching underneath.
That's what's weird, right?
Oh, my God.
If I knew that, if I knew that, that is the gayest thing I've ever seen, it really is.
Really?
Yeah, that's all you got, huh?
Really?
Really?
I need to go.
That's a good song.
He was really, though.
This nigga's crazy, bro.
Good, bro.
Because it put me on the defense.
I was like, I need something coming.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, look at that.
Lift wood.
This is who you guys died trying to protect this motherfucker.
Bonnie.
That's a woman?
Nah, that's a prince.
This is this is the gayest shit about Scottish people, I will say.
Okay, go.
So they all died trying to protect this dude, Prince Charles, but they called him the handsome Prince Charles.
Yep.
Yeah.
They were all inbred back then.
That's Royal Technology.
You got far more competent.
He probably was handsome.
We're not inbred.
No, the Royals died.
Royals always hands.
It's crazy.
He's a little inbred, I think.
I'm inbred?
Yes.
Absolutely.
Look at you.
You have more features inbred.
Not all fucking weird.
No, bro.
I'm primal.
I'm Mesopotamian.
Mesopotamian.
Primal is inbred, bro.
No, that's not inbred.
That's pure.
That's your birthday.
You're bonobo.
You're one of them chimpanzees.
That's what it is.
You're a chimpanzee, bro.
I'm primal.
You're a bonobo.
No, you're Scottish, bro.
You bang your cousin.
I don't bang my cousin.
How close in your family line do you think of relative fuck?
Be completely honest.
You got first cousins that fucked.
It's not even close.
Definitely.
You have siblings.
I think my mom told me she fingered her cousin.
I do remember more or less hearing the story.
That counts.
My bonny, my bonnie.
My body, lizard, bro.
Let's see.
This guy is crazy.
Come on, bro.
Crazy.
Y'all never had your mom tell you a story about banging the fuck out of her cousin one time for culture, bro.
Never.
This is Scottish culture, dude.
Come on, it's a rite of passage.
You know what I mean?
You got to do it.
Real talk.
He was mid.
Everything else is great.
Awesome time.
But they're fun people.
Yeah, yeah.
Women, very funny, too.
Ball busty.
Did you guys get a no?
Nah.
Oh, wow.
I didn't really notice that.
I didn't really talk about my Scottish woman, bro.
It was sheep and my girl.
That was really?
Yeah.
Okay.
But most women throw down, bro.
Really?
Hell yeah.
No, they're just like witty.
Like, it's part of the culture.
Like, it's valued there.
So they do it as well.
So they're just, you know, funny.
Like, they were much sharper tongues, the women in my family, than the men on the Scottish side.
Yeah.
The men were almost a little bit like subdued because the women are such savages.
Oh, yeah.
Like, fucking crazy.
He's trying to turn Scotland into Boston.
He's like, yeah, the funniest people come from Scotland.
I will say, it's a good thing the Scottish women are funny.
They're a little Bruce, man.
They got a great personality, though.
That's why I got to be funny.
Yeah.
Facts.
It makes it fat girl country.
They're just like, what do their heads look like?
Do they got Alex's neck?
Like, what is it?
Thank you for acknowledging it, bro.
You made me feel like I was seeing something that's weird.
No, no, you got a little neck on you.
No, no.
You little neck.
There's not much separation from.
Your neck is thick as Scottish.
Oh, have you said like that?
Maybe.
I had my shoulders up, bro.
Nah, he got a neck.
He's just projecting what you do.
Son.
Boom.
No, you don't.
Actually, you look very good right there.
But I sit like this.
No, you do.
You sit like a transformer.
It's about to turn into a car.
Didn't that?
Now we could.
Let's go.
Shoot.
Okay, so women you thought were bustardo or what?
No, they were sweet.
They were sweet.
No, stop it.
Stop doing that.
That's worse than just calling them ugly.
No, they were sweet.
Actually, makes me think they're the ugliest women on earth.
Yeah.
I'm just saying, if he gonna talk like that around your people, it's his family.
It is his family.
That's our family.
So tell us how they look.
They were all right, bro.
No, we literally are.
We don't answer.
And the voice cracked too.
I'll be honest, though, what is the deal with like British women in general and makeup?
Why they go overboard?
Crazy.
Crazy overboard.
Why do you think that is?
I don't understand it.
But do you have a theory on it?
Did they find you?
You don't want that?
No, I don't know.
They don't have tutorials or nothing.
I don't understand what it is.
But you walk through the train station, it'll just be like British girl.
Caked.
Caked up.
And it's just like a thing.
I don't know.
Weren't they the first people to do that?
Yeah, probably.
You look at like British royalty.
Yeah, I don't know what it is, though.
Insecurity?
What was the teeth?
Oh, yeah.
The teeth situation is crazy.
Really?
Yeah, I don't know.
What is that about?
Yeah, get your people.
What is that?
They don't put fluoride in the waters?
I don't know.
I'm big on fluoride.
I used to be super anti-fluoride in the water, but then I went over there and it's like, you're like, run it up.
Double it up.
Double fashion in.
It's crazy.
Yeah, I know.
The recipe needs a little extra.
And the other thing that's tricky about it is, like, there's not as much shame attached to it.
Like, in America, if you're missing teeth, it's like that should be shame.
That's the number one thing you should shame.
Yeah, 100%.
But in Scotland, it's like everybody's missing teeth.
You should lean in.
You're clearly the biggest person from that Scottish.
That's a good ass point.
I should lean into it.
You are the Scottish celebrity.
Help them.
I am helping.
What do you mean?
I am helping.
I do a lot for them.
No.
Like, don't do it.
What do you mean?
Talk about them on the pod.
I give them exposure.
You should do something.
I give them exposure.
You really could do it.
You're all about America, but you don't ever give it back to Scotland, yo.
Look what you're wearing right now.
I'm not going to lie, bro.
I'm American, yo.
Wow.
I'm American.
You turn it back on our people.
All these skirt-wearing dudes are going.
My mom is from Scotland, son.
My mom's from Scotland.
I got mad love for Scotland, but I'd be capping if I was just going to say I love Scotland, you know, so people from there loved me, even though I knew nothing about it.
Disgusting.
You know who am I?
Hey, you know more than me.
You know more than I do.
I didn't be guessing.
I don't even know what the prime minister is in Scotland.
You're disgusting.
You're disgusting.
That's what you are.
Which one of you still shit and forgot to flush?
It was one of you.
You didn't tell us anything about Italy.
You just said you were.
I want to go through everybody's vacation first.
Al, what was your?
Where did you go?
LA.
To live your opposite life in LA.
Opposite life.
Yo, LA.
Yeah, this is way more fun, bro.
Al is like a different human being in LA.
There's New York at Al, and then there's LA Al.
The weather's different.
L.A., I'm telling you.
You wake up in a good ass movie.
Say you happy.
Yeah.
You changed, bro.
I support change.
I would never change what you're talking about, bro.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Never.
So you just worked.
Nothing funny.
Yeah, pretty much.
Nothing interesting.
Just getting the studio open, hiring people.
I don't really care about that.
But like, talking about on the podcast that happened, any funny story.
Oh, we never talked about you getting beat up in a domestic violence dispute.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
That's right.
What the fuck are we doing?
The Weezy fucked your lip up.
Oh, and now you look like Joaquin Phoenix.
She cleft your collet, bro.
What happened?
Nah, I was making fun of her because she was struggling at a gym class that we took together.
And she tossed a water bottle at me.
And I had my back to her.
And then I turned right when the water bottle was coming.
It bust my lip.
I needed three stitches.
Yo.
What type of water bottle, bro?
No, it's regular.
One of them babies.
Saving Money with Honey00:04:07
We got an arm, bro.
Filled?
It was filled?
It had a little water in it, yeah.
Son, that's a deadly weapon.
Something off about the sword.
If there wasn't a video, I would think you just got punched.
Oh, you have a video of the water bottle being thrown?
Yeah.
We documented the whole shit.
Because I was making fun of her.
Oh, she happened.
So I'm like, ah, we might as well Film the rest of the ship.
No, don't buy it.
Three stitches.
That's right.
Yeah, this is like some Ray Rice shit.
We're going to find you passed down the elevator.
We just carry you on.
I'll wait till she get that big check and be like, yeah, remember that?
Remember that?
Big Disney Energy Tour still going strong.
First of all, thank you so much, San Francisco and Vancouver.
We sold out both shows.
Vancouver, biggest show I've ever done.
600 seaters, sold that the fuck out.
San Francisco, 400 seats.
But after we sold it out, the club told us they got 200 calls from people begging them to get in.
So thank you guys.
The momentum is going.
Let's keep it going.
July 14th through 16th, I'm going to be in Minneapolis, Minnesota at Hack Me Comedy Company.
July 28th through 30th, San Diego, California at American Comedy Company.
Those tickets are already going fast.
And August 5th and 6th, we just added these shows in Atlantic City.
Last time I performed there, I gave everybody here COVID.
Hopefully, we can do that again.
Let's make memories, guys.
Those dates and all the rest at akashing.com.
Get your tickets now.
And let's get back to the show.
All right, guys, we got to take a break for a second because I got to make sure you don't go bald.
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Supporting the Podcast00:10:42
Italy was fire.
I've lost respect for Italians that are in America.
Wait, what?
It's just such an amazing place.
You'd have to be dumb to leave.
Like, what's Italians in America do?
Like all Italians that left?
Well, when did they leave?
Whenever they did.
Okay.
Dumb.
Like Mussolini, even?
Yeah, I'm dumb.
You don't know what I'm saying.
You're under Mussolini's dictatorship or whatever, and you leave.
They still got spaghetti.
They still got cheese.
We don't got spaghetti.
Good weather.
You could look at the Coliseum.
Like, there's tons of things you can do.
If you're Jewish Italian, yeah, get the fuck out of there.
But if you're not...
What's the big deal?
Fight a little war, go back to the beach.
Run it up.
Amalfi.
You're not going to fight in August.
Honestly, it's too hot in August.
Everybody takes August off.
Like, yeah, you got to take vacation from war, bro.
Yo, if there's no Italians in America, though, there's no cool white people in America.
Yo, yo, yo.
That is disrespectful.
That's a fact, though.
That's a fact.
Disrespectful.
The only thing you got these French nerds.
That's a fact, bro.
Italian American.
Italians are swagged out western, bro.
They are, bro.
Black people jack their shit.
That's fact.
That's how you know.
Can I be honest, though, about Italy, though?
And just Italians in general.
And I'm sure that there is like, you know, some leftover Italy and the Italians that are here.
But like, even the Italians that came here, they're coming before Italy is the country that it is today.
Right.
Right?
Like, Italy is 1947 that it's a democracy.
I think like 18, maybe 70 or something like that before that, that it's like a republic.
Was it a republic at some point?
I think so.
Something like that.
Basically, it's under like either a king or a tyrant or dictator, et cetera.
So it's like a, it's, it's a younger country than America.
Yeah.
It's, it's.
Or governmentally.
Uh, governmentally.
Culturally, though.
Yes.
But culturally, it's old.
Very old.
Thousands of years old.
Like outside of obviously the Greek empire.
We're talking about the West.
Obviously, you know, 5,000 years ago, you go to India, you find these.
But just if we're talking about Western civilization.
And you're in it.
And I went to Venice, and Venice was like this remarkably beautiful city, but there's no people there.
And a city without people is a museum.
I found the people in Venice to be unfriendly.
I would too, though.
Because imagine you lived in Times Square.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's like the whole city is Times Square.
And it's kind of sad because when you're there, you're like, this is the most stunning place I've ever seen.
It doesn't even make sense.
You're like, how does every street end on water?
Yeah.
Like, it's so incredible.
And like, but because it's all tourists, you lose some flavor.
You use some sauce.
Like, the beautiful thing about New York is not seeing the fucking buildings.
It's seeing some guy go, you know, fuck out of here.
Like, seeing somebody curse somebody, seeing somebody do something wild, seeing a New Yorker actually be nice when you think that they're completely for me, a city is the people, right?
And the energy of a city is the people.
And that informs everything else about it.
Yeah.
Right.
And so Venice was cool.
Florence was also like really cool, but again, lots of tourists.
And again, it's summer, it's tourist season.
It's the most remarkable, you know, empire in history, the Roman Empire.
So you're still going to want to visit these places, right?
But Florence doesn't even get popping until the 1500s.
Renaissance is built kind of around Florence, right?
Rome, though, bro?
Son.
Rome is the most amazing city that's ever existed, and there will never be a city as amazing ever again.
And I say that as like a proud New York.
It is what the most amazing thing about Rome, at least for me, was that all these ancient relics aren't behind like a wall with a ticket to get there.
You are eating dinner and the pantheon is right there.
You're eating dinner in a plaza that was built 2,000 years ago.
You know what I'm saying?
You're just having a drink and there's a stone wall that existed 2,000 years ago.
Yeah.
That was the edge of the city.
Everything that you're seeing is just this amazing ancient history that's right in front of your face.
And I just got fucking overwhelmed by it.
And there's two like historic times in Italy, which in most countries you go to, there's like one time.
Italy had the Roman Empire, which is one of the craziest empires we've seen in history, one of them.
And then they had the Renaissance.
Yeah.
So you see shit from BC and it's all historic.
And then there's also all this historic shit from 1500 AD or whatever it is.
So it's like history on top of history.
It's fucking crazy.
And they just like blend and bake it all in.
Like, even as you see like the influence of Catholicism, and this is something I want to talk to you guys about, but like Italians are like the least Catholic people.
You know what I mean?
Like my understanding of Catholicism, because I come from, you know, British roots, right?
It's like very kind of repressed and withheld.
Exactly.
Like stiff upper lip.
Everything's about the afterlife, dude.
Don't worry about this life.
The afterlife is going to be dope.
So like suffer through this life and life is.
Yes.
All right.
So it's like suffer through this life.
Life is suffering, but that's okay because the afterlife is going to be lit.
Italians, whose culture exists before Catholicism, is about indulging in life.
Everything is about servicing the, have the best food, the ripest tomato, which comes from America, by the way.
They didn't have tomatoes before us.
Didn't that crazy?
That's nuts.
Yeah.
I did not know that.
They didn't have pasta and shit.
The first question is like, are you going to cap and say they had better pizza?
Yeah.
Stop it.
No, I also said Japan had better pizza.
I'm being honest, bro.
Al, you ain't been nowhere.
No, I haven't.
No, no, no.
You went to Italy?
Yes.
Al's traveled, bro.
Nigga, I traveled.
He don't seem like that.
He forgets everything.
But he's been all around the world.
Yeah, Al knows he's been so when he's been there again and goes, oh, I thought I've been here.
We've been touring for two years.
I got to remind a motherfucker that we were at a place that he videotaped.
So, okay, I'm glad that you guys, and you spent time there too?
Yeah.
Okay.
So the culture is just built around these amazing indulgences, right?
It's like getting the most out of life.
And that was probably for the top 0.1%, right?
Even when you look at the Renaissance, we think like everybody's just painting and existing.
It's like, no, most people's lives were fucking miserable and sucked.
They're dying of fucking dysentery.
But the top 1% was living the most lavish, beautiful life that you could ever imagine.
And obviously, those are the people that write the history books, et cetera.
But when you look at what these people, what the focus was, right?
Like love, passion, family, speaking with your hands, yelling, screaming, hugging, kissing.
It is the least when you think of like Irish Catholic, they're the least like Catholic people you can imagine, right?
Now, obviously, Catholicism is like baked into the culture.
The fucking Vatican is right there.
But it gave me, one, a new perspective on, I guess, Catholicism, because if this is where it was birthed, then this is a more true form of it, potentially.
So now I'm looking at that in a different way.
But I'm also, it gave me a crazy new perspective on soccer clubs.
I didn't understand what football, as you guys say, was to Europeans.
We do say that.
Right.
So, and now I kind of, it makes sense because when I was living in Barcelona, we would like ask people from Barcelona, like, hey, are you a big fan of the team?
They're like, oh, I love the team.
We'd be like, who's on the team?
And these motherfuckers wouldn't even know three people on the team.
And it wasn't about the players.
It was about the identity.
And then I started to learn that these people don't see themselves as Italian first.
They see themselves as Neapolitan first.
They see themselves as Venetian first, Florentine first.
That's where all those Italians are like, oh, I'm Sicilian.
Why are you saying this?
We don't care.
We don't get it, right?
Because America, for the most part, is founded as America.
Yes, there's the 13 colonies and we have states, rights, and all this other shit.
But for the most part, we see each other as one cohesive unit, right?
Once you're America, you're America.
Yes.
Right?
So it's like, and it's not like New York is fighting against New Jersey for some shit and we've always been like bickering, where all these different regions were under different rule at different times.
Yeah.
Right.
So they were fighting for their identity.
The Florentines were fighting for their identity.
The Venetians are fighting for their identity.
The Sardinians are fighting for their identity.
So that's the last bastion of that identity that still gets to fight.
Right, right, right.
So now I understand the soccer club, what it means to someone from Munich.
Because Munich wasn't part of Germany always, but it was Munich.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like these areas existed as their own little kingdoms, their own little townships.
And they have their own identities and then have agreed to be part of this thing.
Yeah.
But have existed for thousands of fucking years.
So now I see football as this reflection of kind of who they are.
Yeah.
Instead of, oh, I just really like this team enough to fight somebody about it.
It's not about sports.
It's about identity.
That's it.
And I think as like a Knicks fan, I'm not like, the Knicks represent New York.
And it's like, not like Domini's.
A thousand things represent New York.
Exactly.
New York was here way before any of that shit.
Basketball, what the fuck is that?
And American identity is assimilation.
It's a melting pot.
You're going to come here.
You're going to assimilate.
You might have your influence, but we're all going to be American.
And I think maybe that's why we get hyped about sports when it comes to the Olympics.
Yes.
Right?
Because that's the closest thing, I guess.
Exactly.
The way we feel about Olympics, they'll feel about soccer.
Yes.
Right?
We don't have to be a fan of fucking curling.
But if the U.S. is doing it and we're going up against fucking Germany, we're like, run it back.
You saw what happened yesterday.
You'd start cheating that shit.
I'm in.
I'm in.
I don't care.
I'm in.
Whatever.
Who we playing?
I don't give a fuck.
I don't know.
What's the sport on?
I don't know.
Never seen it.
U.S. U.S.A. It's just contagious.
You're in it.
And then there's India is a similar thing where it's like, we weren't always India.
It has all these different regions, different languages.
I'm Thamo before I'm Indian.
You know what I mean?
So it's, I understand that.
And I wonder how unique the American, this is our country thing is.
Bro, it's so unique because we're forced into country so soon.
Yeah.
Whereas these other places, like people developed, developed their own towns and they were constantly like invaded.
Yeah.
Like invasion was part of life.
Yeah.
You just had the Huns just coming pulling up.
I wonder if it helps the collective if you're able to get rid of that individualized identity.
What do you mean by that?
Like I think about like China.
Like I wonder if there's people in like Shanghai that are like, I'm Shanghai and like fuck people in Beijing or if they're all just like, yo, we are China.
I think China eradicates that shit.
That's my point.
And that as a...
That's why Hong Kong is an issue.
That's my thing.
So like as a social tool, oh, if we just kind of get rid of all these little like enclaves, we can create a bigger thing.
I wonder if that's why American is like...
Here's what's interesting.
I don't think they care about that shit.
Their mentality is not, oh, we should be a superpower.
To kind of what Andrew said, and it's a similar word.
China vs Individual Identity00:03:03
It's just, I'm splitting hairs, but like, I didn't pick up on indulgence and abundance.
I picked up on, we're going to enjoy life.
We're going to be happy.
We didn't say abundance.
Yeah.
When I think of indulgence, I think of the American, I'm going to eat a shitload of dessert because I'm going to indulge.
They're going to say, I'm going to eat the amount of dessert that makes me happy because why would I not enjoy my life?
I should be happy.
I should be happy.
This concept of like, you should be happy doesn't necessarily exist in like the Irish Catholic world.
No, no, no.
It doesn't exist in the world.
America is predicated on the same idea, though.
It's like, you're going to die.
Like, there's a finality to life.
And Irish people internalize it like, okay, we're going to die.
So like, let's just thug it out through this and then have paradise later.
Whereas Italians are like, oh, we're going to die soon.
Let's enjoy this.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but what did we say at the beginning of this?
I'm going to work my ass off now so I can enjoy my life later.
Okay.
So this is.
Okay.
So this is kind of interesting, right?
Like, and I think we've discussed this on the pod before, but about how like ancient cultures all become lazy.
And we view them as lazy, but it's not as much laziness as it is after a thousand years of living, we figured out the best way to kind of live.
And it's not grind for fucking 80 hours and kill yourself and have your back fucking hurt.
It's more enjoyable to have like friends, family, loved ones, share food, enjoy a sunset, et cetera.
The more you get it.
Say again?
It's more so they get it.
They get life.
Now here's the thing.
They don't get it because they figured some shit out that we didn't figure it out.
They're just part of this ancient fucking existence.
You're asking an old guy.
Like, how much did you work?
And he's like, oh, just go to the beach.
Don't work so hard.
Estore time with your kids, whatever.
Like, that's, they are that person embodied in society.
Yeah, 100% that.
Now, we're very fortunate where, like, we get to do something that we love, right?
So it's like, we get to look at the sunset.
We're working our asses up.
We're also looking at the sunset kind of while we're doing it, right?
Now, but Americans have this idea, which is like, just grind, grind, grind, get it.
Now, that makes sense.
You come from a place with less opportunity.
You go to a place with opportunity.
Yes.
And you go like my mom, less opportunity in Scotland over here.
I was like, she's like, I can work hard and just make money and do anything I fucking want.
She's going to kill herself like a dog.
And we're directly from an immigrant.
So we're like, I saw what they had to sacrifice to get me here.
I can't let up.
This is that we, every, and people have spoken about this where we have like an immigrant like mentality.
But what that really means is like, oh, I could, I could do something.
And then I'm going to take advantage of that opportunity and I'm going to run it up because we're young.
Eventually, we're going to be the kids, kids, kids of the immigrants.
And those people are going to start doing, you know, what's really nice?
Having a fucking corona on the West Side Highway and enjoying that.
And I know it sounds crazy to think that Americans will eventually, if we're fortunate and lucky, be lazy.
Yeah.
Not lazy is a bad term.
That's what we view it as, but like enjoying life.
Relaxed.
Relaxed.
We will move towards that if we're lucky.
And by lucky, I mean we get to maintain ourselves as a country.
Yeah.
Somebody else comes in and fucking evades you and tries to strip your culture.
Maybe it doesn't work that way.
Pagan Shit and Coronas00:14:37
Yeah.
But if things work out in fucking 500 years, we'll be sitting there just looking at the fucking George Washington Bridge at dusk and going, yeah, that's really nice.
It does.
Yeah.
I, there were no more impactful, there's no more place I visited as more impactful on me than Italy.
Yeah.
First time I went, I went to Rome for like one day with my sister, my cousin's sister or whatever.
And I was like, oh, this is why people travel.
When I saw the Coliseum and the museums and the Vatican, the Vatican dog?
What the fuck?
Mid.
You thought Mid.
You showed a picture of that one hall with all the artwork.
That blew my fucking mind.
I will give you that.
Like the amount of artwork that exists within it is incredibly impressive, right?
It's a museum.
But like, honestly, Sistine Chapel, like.
Oh, that's amazing, dude.
One guy painting that whole ass year bugging.
Yeah.
You're bugging.
Why am I?
Just think, think about the construction of that.
It's all about it.
He wants to talk about the fucking animals or whatever in the Roman.
Steal the animals.
How do they get the titles?
You don't want to give it up to the Vatican.
It's amazing.
Because that was the first thing I named.
I was like, it's the Vatican.
It's a Coliseum.
Honestly, and I'm, I'm not doing the contrarian thing because I'm coming back from Europe and doing the fucking hack American thing, being like, they figured it out.
Like, I'm trying to add some more nuance to it, but I was, I had a really fucking profound experience.
And it was the first place that I went to that I didn't feel like I was checking off the list.
A lot of places I've went to, like, I went to Japan and I was like, okay, I experienced this.
This is awesome, but I checked.
I don't need to.
Let's go back.
Yeah.
Italy, I'm like, I'm coming back.
Yes.
Every year.
I'm going to bust my ass and work my fucking ass.
I'm there.
I'm texting Dove.
I'm going, we're going to the fucking Amalfi coast.
We didn't even talk about Amalfi yet, but we're doing a pod on the Amalfi coast.
We're taking everybody out there.
We're fucking renting a yacht.
I want these guys to experience what I'm experiencing right now.
Like, I'm trying.
Yeah, it was fucking profound, man.
I'm curious.
You didn't feel that way similarly from when you were in Spain.
Because Spain doesn't have as much like I did.
History, yeah, but the people, same sentiment.
The people, yes, and changed my life when I went over there.
I'll say this about 2008.
That's quite interesting.
Is that Spain is Italy?
Remove an empire, but Spain is Italy without the Vatican.
Okay.
So Italians can't remove themselves from Catholicism because the Vatican plays such a crucial role in culture.
Spain has so many atheists.
Spain is like, it used to be Catholic.
Maybe the old ladies are, but they're like, gay is fine.
Everybody's fine.
We're just moving, shaking.
And Italians, you even speak to them.
They're like, you know, like, we want to be cool with, you know, gay marriage and all these things, but we have the mother.
Papa Francisco.
Exactly.
But that's why Spade is like, the people who are just like.
Let's enjoy life.
Let's enjoy life.
They get it.
There's nothing holding us back.
Yeah.
And this sounds like so crazy.
That's a dumb thing.
I was saying my second time I went to Italy.
I went to Florence and I just saw like people that had to be in their 80s and 90s walking completely upright, not hunched over.
I saw one or two people riding bicycles and I was like, yo, there's got to be something to the fact that I don't ever see old people this happy in a place like New York.
Now, I will say this.
This is quite interesting.
When you live and exist in a culture that is about, I said indulgence, but like enjoying yourself.
Yeah.
Right.
You're always going to progress towards more enjoyment if you can.
Yeah.
Right.
Like we have a dopamine rush on our phone and then all of a sudden a new app will be developed and it locks us in even more, TikTok.
And there'll be an even crazier version of that.
And then we'll just be constantly looking at the screen.
Okay.
So the same thing happens culturally before this tech that we have.
And that's why you looked at like how the fucking pagan cultures that pre-existed Catholicism in Italy, like human beings like devolved, right?
Like I think you were even telling me about that like sex music brothel in Pompeii.
Yeah, that shit's crazy.
So like, so Pompeii, because it was the Mount Vesuvius erupted, the volcano erupted, and it was stuck under this volcanic ash, you basically get an idea of what life was like.
In other words, what happens throughout Italy is that people repurpose these buildings, right?
Even like St. Peter's Basilica used to be a fucking horse racing track from Nero, right?
So I think that's where St. Peter was killed and that's why they built it.
Everything got upgraded though.
And that's why they're called basilicas in Italy.
There's no basilicas in America.
Okay.
Because it's basically like a pagan place they turned into a church.
Okay.
Right.
So, but if it's covered in ash, they can't flip it.
Right.
So now life from literally, what is it?
When was it?
Like 70 or 30?
Year 32 or something.
Yeah.
The year 32 exists.
And Naples, which is essentially where Pompeii was, or the closest thing to it, was wild, bro.
Like there's a fucking brothel where people are fucking.
79 AD.
Okay.
So in the brothel, you said like people were fucking like, you could, they're pictures of what you can do.
Yeah, yeah.
You can like pick out your shit.
It was gnarly shit, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's like, and prostitutes were everywhere.
Like they had sandals that had the message of where the brothel was underneath the sandal.
So when prostitutes walked around, you could see the tracks.
That was the advertisement.
They would like to tell you where to go.
Yeah, it was like some crazy shit like that.
They have the whole penis museum.
Yeah.
They just have like old like statues of penises.
Like they don't really know, but like they conjectured it was like like penis worship.
And then other people are like, oh, it's just like funny graffiti that like kids would do.
What Mark means by penis museum, he's not talking about a museum that is built now, a museum that existed in 79 AD.
Yeah.
Right.
And there's these crazy sex acts and stuff happening in the brothel.
And I wonder if, I mean, the rise of Catholicism has nothing to do with this, but the rise in Catholicism in Italy is very simple.
It's like, what if the majority of people are fucking poor, destitute, dying, and a religion comes around?
It's like, yo, everybody's equal.
Or life is great.
The last shall come first.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
But imagine that.
Like 99% of people are suffering.
And then somebody's come around and go, yo, you're just as good as that king, dude.
And heaven's awesome.
Don't you want to?
And I think that the people who were running Italy or the running the empire start to go, all right, we can't control this at all.
We got to incorporate some of this pagan shit.
Like I think Constantine, right?
Incorporate some of this pagan shit into Catholicism and just blend these things and let's like, you know, use it to kind of like manage.
But, um, but I think there's probably some part, and you were tapping into this earlier before the podcast, where it's like you could make the argument, and this is gonna sound wild, and I think there's a joke here as well.
But like, if you live long enough, you become the bigot.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, we all live long enough.
Like, when we were young, we were like, yo, gay marriage and accept gay people, whatever.
And by the time we're older, we're going to be like, what are these people?
They're 14 genders.
What's wrong with them?
And they have robots and shit.
Yeah, exactly.
Right.
And the kids are going to look at, oh, look at these old people and their bigoted ways.
You live long enough, you become the bigot.
I imagine the Catholic enterprise comes in and goes, yo, cut out all this fucking animal shit.
Why y'all fucking boys?
Everybody has a little boy they get the fuck.
Michelangelo's fucking little boys.
I mean, I guess they were kind of cool with that, but like every painter got a little boy, a little concubine that they're fucking.
Apprentice.
That was an apprentice.
Yeah, an apprentice.
Yeah, they fucking called it, right?
So it's like, I wonder if the Catholic Church decreased boy fucking by like 99.
So crazy.
Right?
So crazy.
And now in history, we look at the Catholic Church as the boy fuckers.
That's hilarious.
And there's got to be some old fucking cardinals in there that are like, y'all know how much boy fucking we stopped?
Do you know what I mean?
Like, y'all should be thanking us every day.
So in other words, cut him a break.
Cut him a break.
Give him an allowance.
Okay.
Yeah.
King Kong ain't got nothing on me.
But isn't that kind of crazy?
I'd have to talk to like, I'm sure there's like historians that, you know, especially in the Vatican, like understand what life was like at the time.
It's hard to bring up that topic, I think.
I think you'd have a hard time.
Bring down what it was like before then and what they did to it.
Be like, yo, can we talk about boy fucking a little, but in a good way?
No, I didn't think about that.
That's a funny flip, but I was just thinking like, yo, they stopped so much sexual deviance.
Like, again, homosexuality, fucking boys.
It was just a thing, Greek culture, Roman culture.
And then all of a sudden, it's just done.
They cut it out.
They did.
But we look at them as repressive now, but that shit was progressive.
Imagine your son just got scooped up by whatever fucking royal family was there.
Like, yeah, that's a nice boy, but we're going to take him.
Now, Michelangelo is just going to shoot loads in his ass for the rest of it for as long as it takes for him to build a Sistine Chapel.
Yeah.
And he was taking Mad Long, probably.
Because he was old.
Yeah.
And he was, you know, has a little, has a little apprentice hanging out for a longer.
Yeah, that's why.
But then again, he was doing that with the church.
So there they had his back.
I don't know.
I just thought that was kind of interesting.
Everybody, if you live long enough, you become the bigot.
That is so funny, though.
Like, they really, bro, we cleaned this shit up.
12 kids?
Yeah.
Who cares?
It was fucking animals, bro.
They was literally fucking animals, right?
Oh, my God.
That's so good.
Did you see all the little like Easter eggs in the Sistine Chapel and shit?
What do you mean?
Like, they have like, so we did like a tour.
They like broke down all the little shit that's in it.
Okay, go, get, so, like, the creation of Adam or whatever.
People, people say Michelangelo didn't fuck with the church.
They're like, yeah, he was not about.
He was gay, dude.
Yeah.
He was not.
You didn't do the tour where they explained the shit.
There were lots of fucking angels and demons or whatever.
Fuck it.
I'll fucking watch it.
Don't make it all.
You love that shit.
You guys are demons, bro.
The Da Vinci colour.
Oh, the Illuminati.
Oh, the red line.
Real history from Wikipedia.
Yeah, that's why I didn't like it.
You didn't take the tour.
If you take the tour, I had a guide.
I had a guy.
Oh, yeah.
Son, I don't know how you still didn't like it.
But like this shit, yeah.
He's inside the brain or whatever.
The brain.
Yeah, God is the brain.
So you did do it.
I mean, everybody knows this, right?
What's the Easter?
This is just the fucking, like, did little Japanese girls do that shit or whatever?
Yeah, what's the Easter?
So, like, Michelangelo basically was saying, like, oh, God is, you can interpret it a bunch of different ways, but basically, God is inside the brain of man.
Yeah.
Okay.
See, you didn't know that?
I'm educating him.
I didn't, I don't know what's unique.
They make it look like a brain.
Do you see that?
Oh, okay.
So, Michelangelo's shape.
He's painting in the crown jewel of the Catholic Church, being like, yo, the gosh is not even real.
He didn't say it's not real.
Well, maybe he did.
We don't know.
That's what he might be saying.
I understand now.
Do you see the picture where they're, it's not on the ceiling, it's on the uh behind the altar or whatever, like that.
Where uh, actually, I forget which one it is, but the image where he's showing who goes to hell, who doesn't.
Yo, Michelangelo is kind of lit outside of boyfriend.
He put one of the popes in hell or some shit, right?
Nah, he put the cardinal pretty big caveat outside of boyfucking.
Michelangelo's outside of boyfriend.
Yo, we, and when we had Stavros here, he really wrote down the time.
Judge people based on the time they were in.
100%.
Yeah.
Because Michelangelo, we got fucking plazas dedicated to this boy fucker.
Like it was what it was.
But he has this thing about who's going.
It's like basically the rapture.
You can look at the image of the rapture.
Is this Dante's Inferno?
No, it's called The Last Judgment.
The Last Judgment.
Yeah.
And he's in it too, which is kind of fire.
This is the little Easter egg that's kind of cool.
But there was one dude that was talking wild shit about him and he didn't like him.
So he put him being dragged to hell.
Oh, I click on this and drag and go to this.
And zoom in and then look at the bottom right.
It's the what, this guy?
The left.
No, no, no.
But this isn't the picture.
Yeah, you're that's zoomed in.
You got to go like two images.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, yes, take this and then zoom all the way into the bottom right.
Okay.
Now look at the bottom right.
That guy on the bottom right.
That was his biggest critic.
Didn't want him to do and was given mad pushback by everything.
He had he has him going to hell and he has a snake wrapped around him biting his dick off.
Right?
Fire.
And then another kind of cool thing is.
They was fucking animals that I could have.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe it was a fetish.
So this thing right here.
Yeah.
That's Michelangelo.
Oh, he's getting dragged into heaven or some shit.
Well, his soul exists in hell.
Whoa.
And his skin.
They're trying to take him to heaven, but he knows the life that he lives.
No, I'm a bad guy.
I'm saying.
Wow.
But everyone thinks I'm going to be in heaven.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Yeah, that's fine.
I thought that's kind of cool.
This is amazing.
But to me, that acknowledges that he is somewhat religious.
Yeah.
Right?
He's going, he's not saying that that's him.
He's just putting the skin suit in there.
So he's like, all right, maybe I do believe in this thing that's out here and I'm going to be punished because I chose to live this life.
But in terms of like the imagery and stuff, I've seen better paintings.
I wasn't blown away.
He put God's ass randomly on the Sistine Chapel.
Oh, also, he was stealing mad people's shit.
Like, he was walking around a Vatican, and there's all these sculptures and like all these faces.
And you can see who he used, the bodies and the faces to make the images of God.
So he's just walking around the Vatican, be like, that's a pretty good body.
I'll just paint that as God's body.
I like that face.
I'll paint that as God's face.
That's fire.
Yeah.
Maybe we all had ghost writers.
But mid, though, right?
But he still painted it.
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't care what the body looks like.
He's still the drink or something.
What the fuck do you want him to do?
He painted.
That's what I'm saying.
He's still, I don't fault him for getting inspiration.
I don't know.
I was in there.
I was, I was, I was, I thought it was.
One crazy thing about design is that, like, like right now, if you think about this, so many artists that are probably nicer than him.
Way nicer.
But we don't like build them up or praise them to like do some shit like that.
I'll say about him specifically.
I was blown away by the Vatican.
Dead ass.
I'll say something specifically about him.
And this is important to understand.
Like, he was also an engineer.
And that's what's kind of crazy about his time.
That's a helicopter, bro.
That was Leonardo, right?
Da Vinci.
But this guy, for example, he's painting the ceiling, right?
The ceiling's very tall.
He built the rig so he could paint the ceiling.
Like he constructed it.
He did all the engineering to build it.
It doesn't seem like that crazy, but imagine your average painter right now.
They don't know no shit about fucking, Hey, if you're going to get paid a bunch of money to be able to get up there and paint some shit, they're going to figure that shit out.
If you get paid a bunch of money, it's yo, God wants you to come paint, fam.
This is 1500s.
Yeah, I'm not taking anything away from him.
I'm just saying we don't appreciate art the way that they did in the past.
But they also knew it was marketing.
It's like people had nothing to do.
Like, this is a movie.
We also got TikTok, bro.
That's a very good thing.
That's facts.
There's a lot more.
When you see these pieces, like you realize they're just like telling stories.
And this is, it's basically like a movie before a movie.
Painting Tall Ceilings00:07:14
There's this column in Rome.
Did you see that column?
It's near the forum.
Maybe.
And it's basically the story of the one column.
There's a really specific column.
And it basically wraps around with a story.
And for people that can't read, they just understand imagery.
It's the story.
I fucking, I forget exactly what it is.
Maybe of the Roman Empire or how they conquered a certain place, whatever.
You can walk around that shit for an hour.
And imagine that.
Like, that's your, we watch the same friends.
People go to bed watching friends.
But imagine you took your kid and then you explained what happened in each moment.
That's a movie.
Yeah.
So I see TikTok's better, bro.
I wasn't with Al, but now I'm with you.
Average TikTok money choose the 16 chapel.
We got a bunch of Michelangelo's right now.
So we got a bunch of these.
I'm with you on that.
I thought the Sistine Chapel was mid.
I thought the Vatican was kind of mid.
There were advertisements for Mexico when I walked in.
There was like four billboards for Mexico.
And I'm like, I know they ain't advertising in the motherfucking Vatican, bro.
You got to advertise heaven.
Not in Mexico.
Whole thing.
No, advertise heaven.
I also, it was my first trip to Italy, so I hadn't seen any of the basilica shit or my first trip to Europe.
So I hadn't seen any basilica shit.
I didn't seen any of these churches that were so beautiful.
So the first thing I saw was the Vatican.
I was like, what the fuck?
This is incredible.
I haven't seen anything like this.
It's good to start there.
And then you just go into downtown and drive by wild shit from thousands of years ago that's just right in the middle of town.
Yeah.
I mean, you could drive by the Coliseum.
Yeah.
I know.
Yeah.
You just walk by it getting somewhere else.
My thing to you is that you're blown away by this because you went there for a limited period of time.
If you live there, you'll be over it.
He always says it's to stay in New York.
Son, you'll be over it.
You'll be over it.
I don't want to move to Italy.
Son, but people come from around the world to see times where they're blown the fuck away.
No, no, that's it.
And we're so over it.
No, I think what we've made is incredible.
And I think that, like, bro, you, you take a flight and you land at JFK or you land at Newark and you look out the window and you get to see Manhattan, the island.
It's amazing.
That is a miracle.
Absolutely impressive.
It's a miracle what happened here.
So, and we're inside it, so it's hard to get perspective.
But like, your building is super tall.
You probably have views of the city or something like that, right?
So it's like you get to see what we did.
And I imagine you're coming from another place.
You go to Europe, they don't got buildings more than six stories.
That's what they're fascinated by.
Yeah, they got skyscrapers there.
It's remarkable what we got.
There's no question.
It's also remarkable what they got.
But when you look at like the history and the history of like the empire, for me, what's so fascinating is just to kind of like live within the history to know that there are people that just built these things.
You're in the Coliseum.
You're like, yo, thousands of years ago, they got animals from Africa.
Stealing babies, bro.
That's crazy.
And then it's ships.
Isn't that the craziest one?
That's wild.
The fact they had whole boats doing battleships in there?
Yeah.
And the Coliseum wasn't even a big shit.
The Coliseum was little compared to what they had in the forum.
That's the other thing that's wild.
A crazy thing, the dude that had, I think it was Nero that had the Coliseum built.
I'm pretty sure it was him.
Dude went crazy.
Yeah.
And I think he's the guy they traced the fall of Rome back to.
I think I think.
It's some Nero fiddled on Rome.
Incest right there, bro.
No.
Lead pipes.
Oh, yeah.
They don't know that for a fact, but he didn't get crazy until he was already living in the royal facility.
And before that, you're getting water from whatever source you're getting water from.
Maybe you have a well by your home or a state.
It's not like he was poor.
But once you're using the actual plumbing, the average person isn't getting access to that just plumbing right to their house.
Only the royals are.
So this dude's getting that.
This is the one theory.
Getting that lead pipe water.
Yeah.
Man went crazy.
Kills Peter.
Yeah.
Lead pipes made Catholicism.
Let's go.
Yo, I was just saying, like, think about it, right?
Like, no.
There's no Vatican without lead pipes, bro.
Wow.
There's no Vatican without lead pipes.
In a way, yeah.
That's a good ass point.
Honestly, you got a good point.
I'm just saying, bro.
Ain't no Vatican without lead.
So what do you think is going to happen in 100 years in New York where we're just drinking water?
We're like, oh, actually, this shit is poisonous for us.
Like, what's our lead pipes?
We went to school with fucking asbestos all over the goddamn country.
Absolutely.
So look how good we turned out.
No, but we were wild.
It was like more turtleship, bro.
Yo, shoulders are big enough, bro.
Yo, that is true, though.
Like, I wonder if, like, everybody was talking about how wild New York was at certain points in time.
Like, what if that was the case?
What if we were just on some like asbestos shit?
I mean, it's still kind of wild now.
So they got to get some asbestos out the Bronx, man.
Like, God damn, that's a good place.
Right, though?
Like, COVID is in you, asbestos.
Every city fucked up right now.
Nah, New York is going crazy.
Wait, you think?
I think so.
It's a little wild.
I wanted to ask you about this because, like, I felt it.
I was like, you still.
Nah, I still kind of tapped it and this shit is going really wild right now.
Yo.
Because you said that shit to me.
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me about that.
And we're walking home and you're like, bro, doesn't this shit feel crazy?
Like, it feels like wild in New York.
I was like, oh, shut up.
You're not a real bit.
I was like, a little bit.
And he was like, yeah, man.
Anyway.
And then he just walks and tries to get a cigarette from like eight different people.
He just walks into a homeless guy.
He's like, yo, you got to sink.
I was like, you told me to be careful.
He's like, yeah, you be careful.
We can spot him, bro.
That's how it is.
I'm just saying, my head is more on a swivel now.
And like, the difference.
No, no, no.
Like, you here.
Can I tell you?
Can I tell you?
You got a head on a swivel, bro.
That's not.
Just your neighbors.
Like, bitch.
That's the most.
The cold's coming from inside the house, Chelsea.
Wait, Al, you acting like you don't live in Long Island City right now.
You got a fake balcony.
Firecrackers, bro.
Yo, don't say cracker, bro.
Don't say cracker.
Motherfuckers, bro.
That's fire.
2 a.m.
They got a whole fireworks show right along my water.
Yes.
God damn it.
It ain't gang shit.
I think they just let the people who are crazy out.
Yes.
Yes.
They're running amok, bro.
Nah.
Don't agree with this, bro.
Nah, this is real, bro.
It's not gangs.
It's fucking crazy people.
What do you know about gangs?
They're letting them out of where?
I see you with your colors.
They used to wrangle these motherfuckers up, put them somewhere, put them in the hospital.
No, they did it.
They stopped there.
They ain't got enough work.
Crazy people always dealt outside.
No, it's like, it's Delta, bro.
I'm telling you, man, it's some crazies out there again, bro.
I've seen these dudes.
I seen two guys getting a fight.
It was the most New York fight I ever seen in my entire life.
There's a point where like New Yorkers get upset and everything just devolves into suck my dick.
Yeah.
Right.
And different ways to tell someone to suck my dick.
So the guy, it was a dude who was homeless, another dude kind of homeless.
I think he was trying to like rob the other homeless dude shit.
And he's like, yo, get the fuck away from me.
I'm trying to sleep.
Get the fuck away from me.
They started talking shit and then sucked my dicks were just flying, bro.
Staying Healthy Daily00:03:28
And it was so entertaining.
I was walking the dog, half scared, but also half like, I got to see where this goes.
He goes, suck my dick.
He goes, he goes, you know what?
I'm going to sleep on the ground and I'm going to go to your mother's house so she can suck the ground off my dick.
Right?
Yo, mother, yo, yo, it was good.
Your mother, your mother sucked my dick.
Yo, you gonna hold, you gonna kiss your mother, you gonna kiss my dick!
Your mother, that's with a V. Your mother sucked my dick, bro.
It was you guys not love New York.
That's crazy.
I was victim of a hidden run over the weekend, okay?
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No Brainer Payment Systems00:15:25
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New Yorker's hidden random me, bro.
Wait, what do you mean?
I got struck by a vehicle in my car parked, but I wasn't in it.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
No, you mean it's to get rid of that.
I walk downstairs.
I look at my car and the whole front bumper is ripped off.
There's no.
Some New Yorker hit it.
Oh, yeah.
You haven't seen his car.
And it drove off, dude.
Words with my mother.
He sent us a picture in the group text.
Look at the group text.
I think I got a different group text.
Tell your car to suck my dick.
Yes, yes.
Look.
Oh, fuck.
That's what I'm doing.
Yo, what is that?
He's on the roof.
He takes some pictures.
He takes some AO pictures.
That's me on the roof.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Post those.
You got an OnlyFans.
Mark got a house.
Fucked, dog.
Yo, can I be honest with you, Mark?
Mark can't keep nothing nice, bro.
No, I'm a victim.
Oh, so do you got the spare tire on?
No, they ripped the hubcap off.
No, they didn't.
Yes.
And it's on the hubcap on a car, bro.
Every car is a hubcap.
No, it don't.
No, your Tesla doesn't have a hub cap.
No, it has a rim.
You stupid.
You don't have the plastic stick on it?
Stupid.
You can't afford that, bro.
You can't afford it.
Give me my phone back.
Are you serious, bro?
Don't you ever say it's like, don't you ever talk about a Scottish prince again.
What do you mean?
This is the same picture of Scottish royalty.
Two mother's talking shit about Scottish royalty right now.
Do you know how many pictures like that he takes?
This motherfucker loves it.
I understand how big his nipples are, bro.
This is crazy.
That's a dove.
I said that's a dove.
Golly, bro.
That's a bicycle.
I can open my phone and I have like a good 10 pictures of him just like that.
You don't take pics while you're laying out.
Give me my phone back.
Nah, nah, I keep going through that shit.
I keep sending those to.
It's a dove.
Nah, that's weird.
That's weird, yo.
That's missed the 49% right there.
Was it 49 or 47?
You guys aren't European at all like me.
That's the problem.
New York is the most homophobic the second they get in a fight.
It's suck my dick, man.
Yeah, I don't want that.
But that's how homophobic we are, bro.
You don't want no homo.
It's you go suck my dick, bro.
That shit was crazy.
You might take someone up on that if they say that.
Just to prove a point.
Suck my dick.
Okay.
Okay.
Time and place his dick out there.
Bring it out.
Joey Chestnut.
I'm done.
You won.
You won.
Yo, suck my dick.
All right, then.
Hey, shut up.
Look at that.
So the shifty told me his best defense in case he ever got into a fight.
He's just going to start taking his clothes off.
I'm like, you won.
You ever seen that video?
Like, you won.
Dude, talk shit gets naked.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This guy right here.
This guy right here talking shit.
Son, there you go.
There's no way I'm fighting, dude.
Yes, he still got one off on him.
Nigga.
Yo.
I'm in shredded too, bro.
Jeez.
Yo, yo, you can't do this skinny out thing.
You gotta have some muscle on you.
Yo, this is crazy.
It's the greatest, dude.
This one's good.
This one's good.
This is crazy.
This one's okay.
I never seen it.
They all both take the shirts out.
Let's go.
Let's go.
That was an original idea.
My shit.
They should be just telling me some shit that I just said.
They just started running.
Two on one.
He's chasing him.
Son, the power you must feel once you realize.
That's a big motherfucker right here.
Trying to catch space real quick, bud.
Come on.
Let's do that shit, nigga.
Trying to get it for real niggas.
Oh, let's go, bro.
Yo, he took off Tom Cruise, bro.
He got a white ass, bro.
What's that about?
Why is he so white in his ass?
The other parts of us be light, bro.
That was weird.
He was he tan?
Go back to that.
That was crazy.
Son, he's black.
Don't see the sun.
But he's black, but that's part of how you feel tan.
Man, that's a white guy, bro.
Look at that.
What?
Our inside is the same as his side.
Nah, you just get more tan, bro.
That part don't ever see the sun.
Wait, so what about black people's dick?
I'm chasing my ass right now.
It's like black dick, though.
Black dick doesn't get any sun.
Is that bro?
That's white.
Stop making him weird.
You got a white dick.
Nah, I'd be having a black dick.
He's got a white mic, bro.
You have a white dick, bro.
It's got a white dick.
Be honest, son.
Nah, it's dark.
My ass is light.
My ass is light.
Can I guess the color of your dick, bro?
Absolutely.
I think it's more gray.
I think you got a gray.
It's lunch me, bro.
On green.
You know how I'd be matching it?
Son, I just want to just stroke my shit and be like, yeah.
I think you got great dicks.
You know how they match it.
I think it's like I'm trying to think what type of gray it is.
Gray, what human is gray?
I think you have a gray dick.
You specifically.
Like a gun metal, like a MacBook?
Yeah, like matte.
Like your dick is matte.
Nigga ain't a white walker.
Like, what are you talking about?
Yeah, but it's not that shiny.
Like, your dick is like a little gray.
Like, your dick is like sad.
Like how sickly.
Like, the London grid is like a shit.
He wants to see my shit right now.
He just wants to see my shit.
He got tired of seeing like all them baby dicks and David and shit like that.
He's like, yo.
You didn't say no, though.
You didn't say no.
Your dick ain't chocolate.
You know that.
You don't have chocolate dick.
I version of chocolate.
I got a version of chocolate.
No.
We don't know what type of chocolate.
It's more of a chocolate.
It could be dark.
It could be chocolate.
I'm just saying.
You got a gray dick, bro.
And I don't mean that disrespectfully.
I mean that like just as an observation.
Like your dick is gray.
Like, son, real talk.
This is coming from a pink dick nigga.
Like real talk, son.
Like a dog dick.
Yes, that ain't a dog's dick.
Son, you got that lipstick?
Yo, you got that lipstick dick.
It's shaped like a dog dick.
Real talk.
That's come from a pink dick right here.
Real dick.
Yo, PDN.
Yes, son.
That's crazy, son.
That's Shulsi right there.
That's me.
That's me.
Yo, let's go.
Hey, yo.
That shit look like strange.
That is so different.
Yo, yo, yo, does that shit ever make you feel weird?
You're just like hanging out your house all of a sudden.
Your dog's dick comes out?
Nah, because my dog's a girl.
Oh, lucky?
I know, but when her pussy flopped, yo, when her pussy flopped.
Did your dog get a period?
What's that?
What do you mean?
What's that?
His dog's on birth control.
His dog's on birth control.
No, what do you mean did your dog get her period?
What are you talking about, bro?
Periods are for like women, bro.
No, dogs get that shit.
Come on, dogs ain't getting no fucking periods.
Nah, nah, but his dog's neutered or spade.
Spade.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Dogs that are girls get periods.
I was with Weezy's son, and all of a sudden that shit started dripping.
I'm like, yo, clean that.
Get a dog tampon, right?
Fix that.
Dog breathing.
I'm like, don't bring that dog there.
Me until that is fixed.
That's hold on, son.
So female dogs, they get their period for seven days and everything.
Yeah, I don't know how many.
And still happy.
Yeah.
You know the sound?
They ain't crying about nothing.
Ain't no mood swings.
They're happy as hell.
Tell me, Ray's going for a walk.
Ready to sit when you tell them sit.
Yeah.
Yeah, you get the peanut butter out.
It's on site.
It's on site, bro.
It's on site.
But that thing right there is fucking terrifying, bro.
Yeah, bro.
That shit is mad weird.
Yo.
I'll be hanging with my dog and that shit will come out.
And it says in Florida.
Why are you making things up?
I got a timeshare dog in my house.
Man, shut up.
You're talking about Miles, bro.
We know what you're talking about.
Miles make that hard that pink come out.
Florida.
That DeSantis.
When he comes back, that DeSantis, bro, come on.
Look at that dick.
Miles got a big dick.
He's not pink.
You think Miles, yo, Miles fumbled the motherfucking box, bro.
Hannah told me Miles fumbled the motherfucking box.
We don't need to do this.
Yes, we do.
Yes, he did.
Yo, come on.
That dick got Mark's forehead.
That's a strong one right there, bro.
Come on, bro.
Get that dick out of here, cute-ass little dick.
Come on.
Come on.
Miles, we'll cut it out.
We'll cut it out.
But Miles fumbled the box, bro.
Hannah.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Hannah hooked him up.
Hannah hooked him up with a shit.
Write it.
Jack Swift Frida.
Got the number.
Convenient.
Got the number, everything.
Doorstep.
Didn't even message her.
What are we going to do with this guy?
Nah, he's playing it cool.
He's playing it cool.
How many days ago that was?
Did she have toenail polish?
Is that what he threw you off?
No, toenail that story.
And it's all good.
There's also a lot more to the Hannah Mark story.
Hannah didn't upload.
No, no, no.
Stop trying to stop trying to put it in.
We talking to.
Oh, Hannah cut you out that story.
You do this.
Hannah.
Hannah was like, act like she found you.
She discovered you.
I'm not hard to find, bro.
I'm around.
She said, I walked in the library, like, I really like your videos, and I want to take it to the next level.
Yeah.
I was like, where do I sign?
Let's go.
Okay, but you?
Yeah, Hannah's been...
Hannah.
But don't tell me about that because we don't care about that.
We hung up on that call.
How'd you fumble the box?
I didn't fumble the box.
It's still in the bag.
It was two years ago.
I know that girl and we met a few times after that.
Fucking remote.
Remember, Miles in Miami couldn't get no pussy zero.
No pussy.
No pussy zero.
Comes to New York.
They like these artsy, smart motherfucking dudes out here, bro.
He couldn't wait to come back to New York, too.
This motherfucker's like, fuck Miami.
He wants a power source, dog.
I don't think he wants a high-maintenance Latina chick.
I don't think he wants that.
This is when...
This is when Mark starts shitting on the bottom.
Yeah, he's about to call your girls out.
I'm saying, I'm trying to defend him.
Mark Street.
I know where we're going.
Mark Shifty so fucking hard the other day, bro.
It was actually beautiful.
Shifty, bro.
He's 19 years old.
You know what I mean?
He put on a fresh little fit.
It was looking good.
He was feeling himself, bro.
And he had a Vans shirt, right?
He had a Van shirt on, and it was matching.
Everything was feeling his face.
I like Vans.
I fuck with Vans.
And this is masterful.
He goes like this.
This is that passive-aggressive white shit that Akash always says white people do.
I didn't understand it until it.
But he goes, he goes, Shifty, you know what?
Vans is a fucking amazing mall skate brand.
Like, fuck Ma's son.
Son.
Called him Zoomy, son.
Why are you gay, bro?
I'm sitting on everybody, though.
He does that.
When he can't get pussy, nobody gets pussy.
No one's getting it for a long time, then.
Bentley.
He's such a jealous man, yo.
What's that about?
Shifty was filling himself, bro.
Yeah.
He was killing it.
He was killing that van.
Killing him with the bands.
Trying to elevate him, bro.
He's not passing camp.
That's a killing.
Getting with that vans.
But why did you call it a mall skate brand, son?
Vance is iconic.
You know, maul shit.
This motherfucker rocks vans, too.
I know.
I like vans.
That's why I said that.
But why did you body him?
Why do you say mall?
Because maul is a diss.
It's a mall brand.
That's a kind of fire body, though.
I ain't gonna lie.
Yo, you can say funny thing about somebody, but put mall near it.
Wow.
And it's a media disc.
I'm using it.
I'm using it.
That was fire.
Bro, that's a great mall haircut, bro.
Any mall in front of anything.
Which it shouldn't be because there's nice places at the mall.
Yeah, but you said it.
Yeah, like what?
What company did you get?
What do you mean?
That's a great mall restaurant.
Yeah, that's a restaurant.
That's a great mall restaurant.
Yo, that is devious, son.
This is fucking crazy.
This is a piece of shit.
You're a real piece of shit.
He's a bad guy, dude.
Honestly.
Son, there's malls that got Rolex stores in them.
I know.
That's a mall brand.
Yeah, I mean, if you get it from there, bro.
Get it from there.
He got your Rolex.
God damn.
You can't get it in that mall song.
You got me a mall watch, bro.
You got me a Molecule.
I got that shit at Rolex, son.
Don't do that.
Nah, he got that shit at Rolex.
Five different motherfucking stores to get that guy down the street, bro.
That's what we're doing.
No, no, no.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
You see what he's doing?
You see what he does?
You see what he's doing.
You're an evil motherfucker.
No, no, but it's a nice one, though.
You're like an evil.
He's evil, bro.
This guy's a bad person.
Yo, you need God, bro.
He needs God, dude.
Without God, this is a bad man, bro.
A lot of people would die with you.
Yo, a lot of people would die with you.
Do you have God?
If I didn't have God, what would I be?
Mussolini, Hitler.
Mussolini, Hitler.
Him.
Nah.
I got God, bro.
This guy loves God.
I believe in me.
Buy my special.
Buy my special.
Please.
Please, buy it.
Free speech.
Free speech.
Dance.
I think we gotta talk about that, right?
Yeah, we gotta talk about the most important thing.
Al is such a deadbeat right now.
He's just getting drunk shit on everybody, getting them walking out every half hour.
Loot Boxes and Gambling00:02:45
That fucking sucks.
Hey, we gotta talk about that.
And then just walk out.
You made me gotta go pee too.
Oh, shit.
Is it pee break time?
But when he comes back in here, we're gonna talk about them pants, bro, that Al got yo.
Al got pants like he dances like this.
Like, what is this shit right here?
Raven?
Rave.
Oh, yeah, raving.
Rave.
Oh, fuck.
I thought that was gonna be better.
Okay, I got a peek.
Can we break for one second of piss and then get it popping?
Video games.
I think the gameplay is more important than the equity in the brand.
So, for example, like Americans didn't give a fuck about soccer, but we became obsessed with FIFA.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Same thing happened with hockey games.
Like, I didn't give a fuck about hockey.
The games are lit.
The gameplay was so dope that, like, I was invested in it.
Yeah.
And I think that's probably like Mario Kart a little bit.
Like, so, but that's an interesting thing.
Like, you develop a game around this brand that's bigger than the game.
Yeah.
But if the game is lit, you don't need to be coughing off this money to 007 and the James Bond Enterprise.
Yeah.
Because even if James Bomb wasn't there, if it was just called Zero Dark 30 or some other.
I think you need the hook.
You need the hook.
So the hook gets us in.
The hook gets us in.
It's like a brand sponsor.
Pokemon was a car game for Mad Long, but I feel like it didn't pop so much.
But then what's the one that these kids play now?
That they're killing each other.
They fly off the helicopter.
Fortnite.
Fortnite.
That had no hook.
And it fucking demolished.
But it was free, though.
Yeah, that was like the first one that went free.
Free games are free.
No, no, no.
You pay money for bombs you pay.
Fortnite is a free game.
You download it for not knowing.
Like in the app store, you download a free game.
You download it on your console or on your Xbox for free.
Which is smart because make money through the other thing.
And then they make crazy money off skins and other shit.
Yeah.
Selling fake in-game products.
Jeez, I didn't know that.
And then they had the whole thing with the loot boxes, where you're basically gambling in the game and they cut it out.
I heard about this.
Yeah, the app stores threatened to.
But it's like actual gambling.
Where it's like, okay, I'm going to put in X amount of money and then there's a percentage I could win this other shit.
Yeah.
But not money, right?
Just loot or whatever?
Yeah, I think it was just loot.
But then you could trade loot and like sell it and gain money that way.
I'm pretty sure.
I don't know.
I didn't really play Fortnite that much.
We're talking gaming right now.
This shit wheelhouse.
You lured him back in.
Shifty needed to be in her game.
Pokemon pop off.
Was it card game, cartoon, or video game?
Pokemon was big in Japan, came here, and then, yeah, it was like a card game was big here.
And the anime came out at the same time.
Pokemon is a great like mall video game.
But it is, though.
You didn't hear us tell that whole story?
Selling Fake In-Game Skins00:10:17
Oh.
And that mall shit, bro.
That shit really just.
What did that make you feel?
Like when Mark just shit all over the outfit that you meticulously put together, you look and cool.
Like, stop.
That's cool.
Stop.
Yeah, you can get married in the mall.
It's cool.
It's cool, bro.
Like, it's in Kanye's song.
It's real cool.
Play it, bro.
It's cool.
Nothing wrong with a mall.
Where am I going surfing?
A mall?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The mug is good.
The mug is good, bro.
I'm telling you, bro.
It's good, bro.
I just want to show off his pants.
I've been waiting for the opportunity to show off his shoes on.
He didn't even walk out that way.
He walked right into the center camera.
Am I in Shipping?
He posed.
I'm back yet.
We're back.
We're back.
No.
We're talking about Shifty, bro, and how you chipped away at his fucking self-esteem.
What a name.
Come on, he came to where.
I didn't hear him.
I just heard you guys talking stupid about video games.
Thank you.
No.
Yeah, he came in for the video games.
You're talking about the fan shirt you were wearing.
Remember when Mark shit all over?
He called you a mall as a mall skate brand.
That's fine.
I just ghosted him for like a week.
I didn't talk to him.
Damn!
Yo, get in there, Shifty.
Get in there!
Get in there!
That's not a comeback.
Talk about what a lot of bitch marketing is.
That means he got in his feelings and he's like, oh, I'm not talking to you for a week.
Are you in your feelings?
No, I'm just not a professional comedian.
I can't out-talk him.
Well, he's not a professional.
He's more like a mall comedian.
Miles!
Sit the fuck down, you hate your fucking pants, bro.
This guy is crazy.
That was good.
Crazy guy.
You killed it with that shit.
I know.
So crazy.
That was jokes.
So that shit was crazy.
This is so like with the new new battle.
No big thing.
Big dick, Bridge.
Big dick guy.
Hold on, guys.
That was crazy.
Yo, bro.
Damn, bro.
Damn, bro.
Damn, Daniel.
Hold on a second.
That wasn't me.
That was an Al.
You heard that.
You heard that.
That was a fan.
Miles holding Calderon.
You moved the fucking couch.
You got to throw thick ass down, bro.
You were the whole shot.
Even heavy no more, bro.
You're a light boy.
I'm slim down.
You light, bro.
How do you lose weight on vacation?
I don't know.
I tried.
My girl is shooting me from the titties up for the last like five days of the goddamn vacation.
Bro, and once she's like, suck in.
There's a video where I'm literally sucking in.
I took a video on a mountain with my shirt open, and she was like, button it.
I was like, damn.
Yo, why are you so honest?
Where was this honesty in the beginning when you tripped me?
You know what I'm saying?
Where was this honesty in the beginning when you made me fall deeply in love with you?
Now I'm getting this maul brand love.
Oh, come on.
Shifty, don't ever let him talk about your clothing like that again.
No, come on, shoot.
High value man.
Shoot back, bro.
I don't have anything to say.
I'm not going to outtalk him.
I can't outta him.
No, no, no.
Nah, you can't.
You just got to shoot.
Even if it sounds dumb.
Just make up a word.
Yeah.
No, for real.
No, don't listen to miles.
So I'll just have you say the N-word real quick.
Call him that word that we were working on.
We were working.
In the mirror?
Like, cool, running time.
I have pride, white pride.
I have power.
White power.
I'm a badass mother.
Don't take no shit from black people.
Where the heck is that from?
I wonder what special is coming out.
Oh, 7-17.
Santra!
Truffle, get over here.
Oh, we got Dove, we got Chifty.
We got a new special coming out.
TheAndrewSols.com.
Do you know what I'm saying?
The Truffle's officially back.
Thank you so much.
Big neck.
What?
I'm trying to get the whole neck shit off me, so I'm just throwing it out.
Everybody.
His neck is big.
Yeah.
Does it look like his ears come out of his neck a little bit?
I'm sorry, Doug.
You caught us straight.
You caught us straight.
It wasn't even better.
But it dude looked like.
No, he does have a thick neck, though.
He does.
He's not thick.
Yeah, he does.
He does.
Like, the neck is the same size as the thing you just did right there.
Oh, shit, bro.
Are you drinking hummus right now?
He looks like a shit.
I dropped at you, bro.
Look how happy you are, drink.
Yo, Shoe is just sitting there hoping he'll get no shots.
He's being polite.
His knees are together.
He's on a Vespa.
It's okay, Shube.
Yo, Dub about to fight somebody.
Come on, Dub.
Give me a chair.
How long until Dove kicks Shoe about his seat?
Oh, five seconds.
You think you're good?
Everything's a piece.
He's been in the sun all day.
No, he looked all tan.
Dove, they were hating on that picture I sent you.
Yeah, we all dressed up like our vacation.
Yeah.
You know, I dress like this anyway in Spain, still.
Yeah, that's oh, yeah, you were in Spain.
He was in Majorca.
He went to Mallorca.
It's pronounced Majorca, bro.
Don't say it.
It's Majorca.
He was in Mallorca.
That's how Latino said.
He had a girl with him.
Remember, he sent a little picture on the video.
I love when Dove tries to show up and he got a girl with him.
So that shit is good.
Play the video.
But then also, Dove told me immediately after that, he's like, I think I could have done just a boy's trip, bro.
He said he nutted.
He was like, what is wrong with me?
What is wrong?
Grow up, Dove.
Why am I looking right under a skirt right at Mark?
It's not a skirt.
He's being disrespectful to my culture.
What are you talking about?
What am I talking about?
Why are you acting like you don't like looking up skirts, Dove?
Are you kidding me?
You can see his pecker.
Can you see his pecker?
But he's being disrespectful to my culture.
Statue of David, dog.
He's talking about a special relationship.
Do you think it's an homage?
I think it's an homage.
I don't know, bro.
Because my culture is just as much as yours.
No, fuck you, and don't fucking say that.
It is more.
It's more his.
You're American.
I'm American, but it's also part of my culture, and you're fucking insulting it.
I don't do that shit to you.
Insulting it?
Don't jump through no fucking hoops in a pool and fucking parpoodle.
I'm seeing you the fucking dog.
You come to him jump through hoops?
Nah, Dawson, you dumb.
You are a dolphin ass nigga, bro.
You really are.
Thank you, bro.
You really are.
That's a compliment, bro.
Come on, hit him with an ah, little fish boy.
Hit him with an ah one time, bro.
I'm a little for cultural purposes, bro.
You a maul dolphin, bro.
You a porpoise, bro.
You ain't even a.
I'm not even see world.
I'm see land.
You don't see land.
All right, here's here's Dove.
Okay, look at Dove.
Look how unhappy he is.
He looking good.
That shirt look good.
He's handsome.
Hair looks full.
He knows he looks good.
When he sends us anything, he knows he looks good.
He knows he looks good.
He's like, his light catch would be good.
Look at that.
That nose, though, is nose.
Look cutie.
Girl.
He said.
I got bricky.
I got brick.
My dick got harder.
Oh, yeah, Mittarthin, Dove.
Mittarthin.
Don't insult my culture, bro.
This is my family clan, though.
This guy's so insulting to my culture.
What do you mean?
And you guys are going along with it.
Nah, you mad?
That's his culture.
Why are you desecrating the flag right now?
Put it on your plate.
I put it on my back.
I put the country on my back.
Your arms also?
Yeah, it's all over you.
Yeah, it's all over me because I'm holding it down.
Desecrating.
What are you talking about?
Desecrating?
I go to any country, take what I want.
Is that what we do?
No, that's.
What are we celebrating today?
What are we celebrating today?
We got independence from the British.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Something that our people struggle with a little bit.
Sky.
Taking shots at you.
He's really taking this shot at you.
Passive aggressive.
He called you a maul country.
What should I do to this motherfucker?
Don't point that thing at me, bro.
I'll point this thing at you in a second.
Bang, bang.
Put some butter on his baguette.
You can fuck it down, French motherfucker.
Take it out.
I'm about to take it out.
Bring that video up one more time before I check it out.
I got to get this shit ready.
You just snuck a Diet Coke back there, you Florida motherfucker, bro.
Not just drinking pop.
You're drinking pop.
Yo, you just out here drinking soda pop, Miles?
I don't want to talk about it.
Wait, what? you got?
Nothing about it.
Nothing.
The boss?
You be just like, oh, you caught something.
Let's go on it.
Now I'm interested.
What's your short pop?
Who made fun of him?
I think we would have heard that joke.
Motherfucker.
You missed a good joke that Miles had on Mark.
Oh, yeah, it was far.
Yeah, Dove.
I got my first one of the year.
Probably last one too, but got it in.
I thought right there you were going to say, shut up, but you didn't.
To whom?
To him.
Why?
Why are you doing that?
What are you doing?
Dove.
What's your deal, yo?
Shut the fuck up.
What is he trying to do, bro?
This guy's crazy over here.
Listen, we're all back.
The gang is officially all back.
So let's do a little bravo to us.
We got a vacation in our body.
Alpha.
Bro, just get with it.
Get with it.
All right, bro.
Martin, what are you independent about?
Yeah, go.
Go.
What are you?
Don't get up.
Christmas.
What are you Christian about?
What if you die for someone since that guy?
Memorial Day.
What do you think it is?
Okay.
No, what are you independent about?
Comedy.
Comedy.
Independent Comedy Content00:15:08
Content?
I think you should answer this question, to be honest with you.
Well, I was, you know, we was doing a little segue here.
Why we got to think of shit.
I was just rolling.
It's just word and swirling.
It's just word swirling, bro.
No.
Obviously, I hope everybody listening right now knows that we just dropped the first promos for the special infamous coming out.
Boom.
And yeah, and everybody here in this room played a major part in that.
So I'm just super grateful for everybody here in this room.
And obviously everybody that has been so supportive online and going out there and pre-ordering it.
Yo, go pre-order it, man.
Go pre-order it.
When does it drop?
It drops the 17th, July 17th.
Yeah.
As the Army, light this thing the fuck up, please, because this is an absolute game changer if we can do this.
You know, obviously you guys heard the story.
We just did not want to compromise material.
And they just did not want to compromise.
It was like entire businesses.
Yeah, we don't blame it.
I mean, there was multiple bits, like multiple even lines and other bits.
And like, I get that.
I understand.
I have empathy for people who are in that business, right?
Because they're not creating the content, right?
They're making sure that their business is successful, right?
So like, I'm not angry necessarily that they're protecting themselves.
And to be fair, like the person that sat the streamer was on my side, but everybody got a boss.
Yeah, and a streamer is bigger than any one project.
Exactly.
Because you have to deal with your whole audience.
Yes.
You know, like when you have a YouTube channel, you are putting out your content on that channel and you can curate what that audience is into.
And the people that don't like it just don't watch it.
But if you're one of these streamers, you've got to deal with fucking kids' shows to adult shows, just absolutely everything.
So, so yeah, but they didn't really want to, you know, they want us to make some cuts.
And we're like, listen, you know, I've had enough of that.
What's the point?
What's the point of being independent?
What's the point of doing this shit?
What's the point of creating your own stuff?
We're going to write the jokes.
We're going to edit it.
We're going to put it all out.
And we have the opportunity to do it.
We go in front of audiences and do this all the fucking time.
We know what's funny and what isn't.
We know where the fucking line is.
You know, people like it.
You know, it works.
The fucking audience is the one that gives me the notes.
Yes.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I'm on stage.
If the joke's bombing, I know it's not good.
And the joke is killing.
I know it's good.
And we're in front of thousands of fucking people, literally hundreds of thousands.
If you look over the course of the tour, like we know what the people can take and what they can't take.
And I don't know.
Like, I just wanted to trust that relationship I have with them.
Like, I, you know, you see a lot of people shitting on comedy that's coming out from these streamers.
And it's like, I built my career in the beginning.
I started it by doing comedy that they would never allow on these companies or these networks.
Comedy Sense would never fucking allow it to be on there.
And it was very successful.
And I assume it was very successful because people are like, oh, shit, this is the real.
This guy's being authentic.
This guy's being real.
He's being truly funny.
This is kind of how I like to bust balls with my friends.
These are the ideas that I like to see made fun of.
And for me to sacrifice that when I finally got to this point where we put all this work into making this fucking special and something we're all, I believe, very proud of.
I can't speak for you guys, but I think that we're all very proud of this fucking piece.
And to be at that point and then go, I'm just going to water it down so it can be acceptable.
It's like, why we work so hard?
Fuck that.
Why we fucking put all this work in?
What's the point of that?
Why we sacrifice so much?
Why are we away every fucking weekend to just put something out that we're like, oh, well, it would have been nicer if I was able to say this or this joke.
It would have been funnier if I was able to say that.
So.
Can you say specifically like what things are joking?
Michael Jackson joke that they were like, there's no way.
There's another like serial killer.
I love that bit.
Thank you, man.
I love that bit.
And they were like, there's parts of that.
They're like, there's no way.
And then just other like specific lines in it.
And the thing about like, you know, people who have obviously seen the live tour, they've, when I do a bit, it's like a piece, right?
So it's like, it can be five minutes, it can be 10 minutes, but it's like a chunk that has layers and it takes months and years to build these out.
I know that sounds crazy because a lot of times you'll see the crowd work stuff and I'm just doing it in the moment.
But like to put together the abortion clip that I dropped, like that took years to put together, right?
And it's just like the, I guess what I'm trying to say is like to just lop that off or change it, it's that, that, that would be very difficult.
Yeah.
You know, very, very fucking difficult.
So I want to maintain the integrity of the piece.
And that took, you know, us buying it back.
Basically, long story short, took us buying it back.
And then, and now we're delivering it right to you guys.
And I think the cool thing about this is that if this works, and again, this is a gamble.
Who knows if it works?
You guys decide if it fucking works.
If you guys support it, asshole army, I hope you guys do.
But if it works and comics find out that they can make more money doing this than doing traditional network specials, there'll never be a note again on comedy.
Yeah.
So, and then what will happen is the networks will go, oh shit, we can't offer them the money because they can make their own money.
So we have to let them do whatever the fuck they want on this, on, on the specials.
And that's the thing with the streamers right now that people aren't saying, but I think everybody's kind of realizing is that like, it's not giving you the people that it used to give you.
Yeah.
Back in the day, you go on a fucking streamer, you become a superstar.
Yeah.
It's not really making superstars no more, but they could still pay you crazy money.
Yeah, yeah.
Now all of a sudden, the money drying up.
Right?
Yeah.
Now the money ain't what it used to be.
Yeah.
The stock prices are down for everybody.
It's a tricky world out there.
And they don't have as much money to go throw around.
So if you can't offer the people compared to a YouTube and you can't offer the money, what's the point?
Yeah.
Andrew's censoring on top of that?
So that's just like, there's no people, no money.
And it's censorship.
Can't do it.
There has to be another way.
I don't know if this is the way.
I fucking hope this is the way.
It would, I mean, it would make me so happy, not only selfishly that we could do well with this, but also to like create pure, authentic comedy, like the exact way you want to do it.
That is, that would be really cool.
That would be really fucking special.
And I'd be very proud of that.
I'd be very, yeah, I'd be very fucking.
And real quick, walk people through how to do it.
What's the deal?
So like, go to Theandershalls.com, just go to the website and then there's a click and it'll take you to Moment House and shout out to Momenthouse.
Moment House is a is a company that uh, that we're working with and also they've they've done other versions of, like live shows so you could, you could uh, you'll be able to watch the special.
It'll exist there for two weeks and then we're gonna email everybody who orders a special a private link of it so you'll have it forever.
So when you get it, you just get it forever.
We're also talking to Momentouse and we might just keep it up there in perpetuity so you can have that or the link, but I know it says the two weeks.
Maybe that's confusing, but you'll just have this special Special forever.
And yeah, I'm just fucking stoked.
I'm stoked we got to do it the way we got to do it.
And I fucking hope it works.
I'm so proud of you, though.
Thank you, man.
I'm proud of you guys and the amount of work that went into this, you know, like Mark, Alex, Shifty, like the fucking hours of editing that we put into this, Dove, like Vala, you probably did something.
But like, you know what I mean?
Like, yeah, we just put a lot of fucking work into it.
And I don't even like talking about that because we should put work into it.
I don't want you to feel bad for us.
Like, we love doing this and that's what it is.
And, but what I'm most proud of is like, it is the exact special that we want to put out from the fucking sound to the color to the jokes to everything.
This is what we want to put out.
And if this is a new way where we can do this and motherfuckers can make more money than they go with the streamers, like, why would you?
And then it's yours.
You do whatever you want with it.
It's not a network going, oh, you can't put that clip on YouTube.
And you're like, well, it would be great for people to see it.
No, now it's yours.
You do whatever you want.
You get people to see it in the way that you feel.
Yeah, if you're working with a streamer, do they prevent how much you can put on yourself?
Of course.
Of course.
This many minutes.
You're like, but what if this joke could really do well and get people to watch my special?
We don't care.
And you kind of don't know what joke is going to pop and what is it, especially with like TikTok.
You don't know what's going to hit the algorithm.
Absolutely.
So if I'm limited to 10% of my material, it's like, well, fuck, dude.
One of those other 90% could have been exposed.
So many people could fuck with me and fuck with this style of comedy and they're just not going to know.
Yeah.
I'm just tired of the fucking censorship with jokes, shit.
Like, it's just so stupid.
Like, it's one thing if you're just winging it.
It's another thing if you're on a tour in front of lots of fucking people and these jokes are working every single day.
Yeah.
People don't enjoy bombing with offensive jokes over and over and over.
I promise you, if you did it once, you wouldn't do it again.
You would try your hardest at least to never do it again.
Yes.
At the end of the day, we want the feedback.
We want the rewards.
I want to do well.
I'm needy.
We're insecure people.
That's why we do this.
We don't want to offend you and you hate us.
We want you to love us on our terms a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're filming the audience, so we are actually capturing their immediate reaction.
And you're like the biggest YouTube guy, though.
So is there a reason you didn't just put it?
Like some people were DMing me that.
Like, why wouldn't you just put it straight on YouTube?
I need to make money.
That's the motherfucking reason because it costs a lot of goddamn money.
Are you allowed to say that?
Yeah, not even to at least break even.
To break even.
Yeah, that's the other thing.
It's like, motherfuckers, there ain't no cash grab here.
It's let's make it back.
You know, and that's, but to me, I don't know.
I think it was worth it.
How good does it feel to own your shit?
Yeah, it feels fucking great.
It feels great to put it out when we think it's done.
Yes.
That's another thing.
It's like you're on a different timeline.
And I think we got, I think we got used to creating our things and like when it's ready, putting them out.
You know what I mean?
And like, but when you're working with corporations, like they, they have every right to want what they want.
And they have, they have every right.
That is how they also make money.
That's their business.
That's how they feed their families.
Like, I completely respect that.
But when you create something that's so fucking personal to you and, you know, and I'm sure you guys feel this as well because this is your creation too.
So it's like, you're like, no, that it could be better.
Yeah.
It could be this.
I remember that with the Netflix thing, which was great, but like, it was like, oh, I wish we could have one more day.
Give us more time.
No, we have to because the subtitling and the whatever and the international release.
Like it was.
What are you dealing with?
Like bring back a poo.
Like you need an extra like.
It took an extra two days and everything was changed everything.
Yeah.
Imagine you were on a deadline with the network that was like, no, it has to come out today.
It would be 15, 20% worse.
And I empathize with it.
It's two less days.
Because they need to do it at certain times.
Basketball games need to be played.
Like the finals need to be.
We sold 30,000 tickets for motherfuckers to come on this day at this time.
That's it.
You can't disappoint these 30,000.
That's it.
That's what it is.
So I get that.
I'm not angry at that.
But once you feel Freedom.
Once you feel like creating something and putting it out the way you want to put it out is hard to go back.
It's like just the idea of freedom in general.
Like once that popped up, whoever the fuck said it on, if it was a French dude, I don't know who the fuck was like, yeah, you should be able to be free to do whatever you want.
Like once you put that in motherfuckers heads, it's hard to go back.
Like it is hard.
Like I don't know.
Like, oh, this needs one more day.
I want to change this one little thing.
And then you see it and you're like, I'm so proud of it.
And yeah, I just want to do the jokes I want to do.
And I are, you know, everything that we've been working towards is finding a way to put out the content that you want to put it out, put it on your own terms and give it directly to the people.
This is the first time I've ever sold fucking comedy.
I don't know how that is going to go.
For five years, I've just given away specials and clips.
I'm hoping that people appreciate that.
And I'm hoping that people will want to support me in this.
And yeah, I hope you guys want to want to do that.
I'll say something also on the like the buy it back so people know another technical side.
It's like you see people releasing specials on YouTube and we film every show that you do.
We bring our cameras, the internal crew.
Oh, yeah.
This was done Hollywood style.
Remember when this was supposed to be with a streamer?
This is eight professional cameras, a crew of 50 production designers.
Like I think people need to understand what they're going to be seeing is not what someone could have just popped up on the club.
I think what Dove is saying, I think he's made a good point, which is like to do it like a professional streamer level special in terms of production is very expensive.
You're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Yeah.
Right.
So it's like while we can film our shows every single weekend, it's a different quality.
It just is a different quality.
From the intro, if any, whoever orders it, you will see from the intro, you'll be like, oh, this shit is different.
With like set design and all that.
Yeah, it's like, and there's so many different moving parts from like audio to video.
Like there's all these different things.
So it's like, we filmed four shows.
You know what I mean?
Like we paid out of our own pocket for the second day just because we want every single moment and the, you know, this to be perfect, et cetera.
So it's like in order, I think what you're pointing out is like in order to create this level of production, eventually you're going to need to put something behind a paywall.
Because, and we've done, I love YouTube.
YouTube is awesome.
The YouTube specials are great, but it doesn't generate enough revenue to do this level of production.
It is awesome for the comedy club and I love those and I love and I still love these moments and putting out clips, et cetera.
But if you're doing what this is, it's you're going to have to.
I mean, the cameras, just the cameras, and they had eight of them.
I've never seen no shit like that in my life.
I was like, what is this is it's incredible.
Yeah.
And I'm so proud of you, man.
I'm glad you bought it back.
And I got faith.
That's how we build this whole thing is the people fuck with us.
So I got faith that it'll work out.
I think they'll rock with it.
And I think we're going to give them something that they will feel very glad that they support it.
Yeah.
That is, yeah, ultimately, you guys enjoying it, having a good night and like putting out, listen, I know it's weird for a fucking network to see a white guy on stage making fun of every different group of people.
Like that is terrifying.
You don't think that's terrifying for some executive to see a white dude on stage and there's fucking black dudes, Muslim women, you know what I mean?
Like agent, like every different group is there.
That's, you're in a board meeting going, fuck.
Yeah, this violates every policy.
Everyone.
Let's not punch down.
I think we got that in one call.
We'd like to avoid punching down.
And I'm like, guys, you have the wrong guy.
I punch down.
If that's like, by your definition, I don't consider it down because I don't view these people as down, but like they, which is like the weird bigoted thing.
Like, why is it down?
Yeah, I've said that before.
You automatically put yourself above them.
It's kind of odd that the white people making decisions see it as down.
Yeah.
Like if you grew up the way we grew up, that's how you know somebody's your friend.
Yeah.
You're buzzing balls.
Punching Down Policies00:07:20
100%.
I can see why they're fucking terrified.
And this board, who is not as committed to comedy purity, maybe as we are, is really committed to making sure their brand doesn't get backlash.
I don't give a fuck about the backlash.
We know it's funny.
Yeah.
So I'm proud of what we did.
I believe in what we did.
And I hope it's something, if we can make it successful, and that's Ultimate.
And you guys did is something that other comics replicate and put out the exact fucking projects they want to put out for their people.
It's not for all comics.
It is, in my opinion, it's for people who have built up a community and built up people who fuck with you.
And like, you know, if you have that, I think that this could work.
That is our gamble.
We believe that it can.
So go fucking support it.
You can buy my website.
And yeah, if you have any questions, just fucking ask me.
Should people watch it right when it comes out?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that's what I want it to be.
I want it to be pay-per-view.
I want it to be like a fight.
Yeah.
You know, that's why we call it pay-view.
You'll have it forever.
But like, I want, I want all of us watching it together when it comes out and fucking tweeting about it together and talking shit together after party.
Oh, that's another thing.
Yeah, that's right.
I got to remember more shit that we got.
So yeah, so what we're going to do is if you, there's also an after party for it that you can get on the website as well.
And it's like an add-on.
And we're going to be basically doing like a live pod afterwards.
So we'll live stream afterwards.
All of us will be here.
We're going to talk some shit.
And, you know, you guys can make fun of me and we can tell little details about the special that people don't realize that are quite funny.
And the harrowing tales to get here.
So go check that out.
Join us for that as well.
I think that's going to be fun.
There's some new fashion merch on the show.
Oh, yeah.
Also, we got the latest season of fashion.
And we got a couple of tour shirts on there if you missed out on the tour.
So like you go through the website, you get all that.
You get the new fashion, which is fucking fire.
And, you know, that on, just all that kind of stuff.
I feel like I'm selling you guys on it.
I don't want to sell you on it.
I genuinely just am very fucking proud of it.
And I would love if you guys support it.
And I really think that we could change something fundamentally and not just in comedy, but just in everything.
Normally I would sell them on it.
Yeah.
But I don't think you need to.
I'd be like, I'll do it for you, but I really don't think you need to.
I really think.
Motherfuckers know what it is.
Motherfuckers know who you are.
I saw the work you put into it.
I see the fucking obsessiveness you put into it.
It's inspiring to watch.
And I just think you, yeah, I don't even need to be the guy.
It's like, nah, I'll sell it.
It sells itself, I think.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I just, I really want people to watch it.
And I really want to be successful, like selfishly.
I've loved it.
I like the, I want to go.
I told you so, motherfucker.
I want to send the text.
I want to send the text to the motherfucker.
Talk that shit.
That was like, yo, these can't be here.
Like, yes, they can.
And this is what the fucking people want.
I want to send that.
I want to pop that fucking portnoy champagne, bro.
Like, I want that.
Like, that drives me.
Wait, what's the text, though?
What's it going to be?
Oh, I already got locked in.
Picture of me on the roof?
Because you can use that if you want.
You can have that.
I can't tell you.
I'll share it if it happens.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
I'll share it when it happens.
I'll share it when it happens.
That fucking.
That fuck you.
That knowing we're right, we're on the right side and that people actually want comedy and all this bullshit that people are responding to fucking 10 people on Twitter is nonsense.
It's like, I don't know.
It's cool to have like real people make a voice and real people go, no, this is actually what we want.
And we're going to fucking support it.
And this is how we, yeah, this is how we change content, man.
And I think we've done a good job of that already, like showcasing there's other opportunities for it.
You know?
So, but yeah, go rock with it.
That's it.
We won't go anymore on it.
Guys have any questions, go loud too, though.
Oh yo, oh yeah, this is Louis, the first guy to do this.
Man to put it on his website and like, have his people go, support him and even when he was going through all his still have them come out and support it and like yeah, I mean he, he made that possible.
Man, he's the, he's the originator with that.
So i'm hoping that we can, you know, do that and uh, and replicate that success.
Man, so shout out to Louie and go check out Louie's as well.
Man, this is just, let's go, I don't know.
Check out Andrew Schultz, 17th Beanderschultz.com.
Oh man, thank you guys.
Alex got a pee.
Yeah again, he just went pee drinking, bro.
Oh geez.
Also I want to do something.
Um, I want to bring 10 people from around the world to New York City to watch the special before anyone else.
I love that.
That's fine.
There we go.
No, I think that'll be dope.
There'll be like a pre-screening.
We had 10 people who have pre-ordered it.
You got to pre-order it, by the way.
Okay, we have all your emails, so we'll reach out to you.
Go pre-order it right now, but we bring 10 people out.
We all watch it with them.
We'll do it right here in the studio.
Yeah, that's kind of fire right though, like that is kind of fire.
You know what i'm saying?
I, I can't afford dinner just yet, but maybe you guys can help me out.
Yeah, we'll do a nice little dinner.
Stop, it still got a couple bucks left bro, like you cannot pull me, like yo, should we do a go fund me for you?
I'll be like, i'm all right, i'm okay.
Are you crazy?
I'll be all right but uh, but that would be dope.
I think we get 10 people driving a Porsche and okay, don't do it.
Okay, it's not a kid.
Notice, he couldn't sell that.
You know what I mean?
What you getting back for that?
Anyway look listen, I can't enjoy, bro.
I just can't enjoy bro, let's just.
You got your wife's car.
No, my wife got my mom's car okay whatever, thank you, your dad's wife's car, all right.
So look I, I want people to come the out people, ideally from Israel.
Women yeah, why not?
We don't want to have women here.
Not, it's not going to be a dating situation for dub.
We can double up, we can double up.
Oh, so we should also make it a dating thing.
Yeah, I see, I see, but dove might also date dudes, exactly.
Okay good, so you're also dudes, you can also do that.
But keep the ratio.
Nice Israeli, exactly.
Yeah, I want to control costs.
That's uh, too expensive of a flight, so we're gonna cap the juice.
You're watching it in here with us pre-screening.
Then we grab some food or some um, this is gonna be dope.
You gotta pre-order it, but we got you and this is gonna be fire.
Thank you guys, so much for supporting everybody who already bought it.
Thank you so much.
Everybody who posted on their story, everybody posted on their their feed, everybody who's been sharing it like crazy like, thank you so much.
It means the world to me and I know it means a lot to us.
We put a lot of time into it.
So thank you so much.
And um yeah, this was a, this is a big gamble and we hope it pays off.