Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect cancel culture, debating whether indefinite accountability stifles growth using Sean Strickland's redemption versus Kevin Hart's Oscar cancellation. They analyze Ricky Gervais's transphobic defense against Dave Chappelle's satirical style, questioning if "sunlight disinfects" bigotry or merely fuels resentment. The chaotic studio banter over seating and Mark's dog incident underscores their broader argument: society must allow evolution from past offenses rather than enforcing permanent exclusion. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Hey Derek, Leave Scorned00:09:12
What about this person isn't a lady?
Well, his penis.
Her penis, you fucking bigot.
Funny.
It's funny.
Objectively, from a joke writing standpoint, it's good.
Let's start it out.
Feelings, no facts.
Should Akash have his own chair?
Go.
You motherfuckers, bro.
Why are we getting so much hate?
Like, we're not thoughtful about things.
You don't think that we have multiple fucking setups?
You didn't think that this ended up being the one that fits the space the best, assholes?
I think they want to see Akash Snack stuff.
Yeah.
Say what?
We have three fucking couches.
I spent half of the money that I own on Crate and Barrel on CB2.
What do I slap when something is funny?
Mark's thigh?
That's too hard.
That shit is.
That shit is slappable, though.
That shit is too short.
It's not soft like a chair.
Okay, they're going to be furious when we have a guest and Alex is back in the booth with Miles.
And it's somehow going to be my fucking fault.
They've never seen the booth, eh?
They've never seen the booth either.
Oh, that's right.
No, maybe that.
No, yeah, they did.
No?
No.
Okay.
What if when we have a guest we can just put Al with the plants like a shirt?
That'd be fine.
We could just copy you back there.
Is that?
I feel like that's kind of where you belong.
Like, you'd be blending in person.
Oh, did you?
That's where you belong.
He should be in like the forest or something like that.
What are you trying to say?
He belongs.
Why a forest?
Why would you?
Why should he belong?
Why should he go there?
Don't do that.
Why should he go?
The fingers out!
That's the thing.
Yo, that shit.
He never got a cowboy in his life.
He likes it.
That should turn him down.
No, it's...
Hey, hey, hey.
It's a crazy crip.
That's not a normal person.
That's dad's shit, yo.
What?
The cowboy.
Really?
Way to rub it in.
No, what's wrong with this?
You don't want this on the couch?
Y'all don't want this on the couch?
You don't want to be able to see that?
Okay.
Hal's dressed like a couch.
Jeez, that's perfect, bro.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
All right, we can take that off the couch.
That's what it's going to be.
These motherfuckers are so angry, bro.
This is what fits the space.
There's another setup that we have that when we have two guests, Akash's seat is here.
In a chair.
In a whole chair.
A chair.
Right?
And Al and Went is Al.
If it's two guests, I'm out.
You're out.
You're in there.
Even one guest, you're in there.
You guys are out.
I thought white guests or whatever.
What if we have five guests then?
Well, then what?
We don't have five guests.
But what if?
We don't.
But it could happen.
Barstools lined up behind you.
Oh.
Yeah.
The Nick Cannon show.
The Micro Nick Cannon show where they had like the bleachers of people in there.
Yeah.
Anyway, so that's what it is.
How do you feel?
Are you scorned?
I'm scorned.
I'm incredibly scorned.
Yeah.
I'm resentful.
The last time Akash was on a couch getting interviewed, it was not good.
I think that's why.
It's PTSD.
Is that what it is?
Why are you bringing up this trauma for me?
If you were in a chair, it wouldn't have happened, dude.
If you were in a chair, she wouldn't have been feeling you.
Now, I will say this.
Don't you not appreciate it?
Don't you think that this arrangement is better?
Because now you can at least see the guys.
Yeah, before I was just guessing what Mark was saying.
Yeah.
Like, you wouldn't know when they were going to talk.
No, never.
And yet now it's like...
Me and Al were talking mad shit.
You guys didn't know that.
No, you were talking shit, but I imagine you have a line you're about to say and then someone behind you just says something and then you have no fucking clue.
Look at them talking all that fucking shit.
Yeah, we can't do that anymore, bro.
Before we could do it.
Yeah, but I actually got a little defensive.
You know, I didn't comment anything, but I was seeing the comments beyond Akash needs those stay.
I was like, God damn, bro.
I agree.
Now I agree with them.
I think we need to bring back two paintings.
I think we need to put you guys on different size seats right next to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think we need Dove's shitty shoes that look like they're expensive, popping into the frame.
It's so expensive.
How much are those?
Yo, Dove knows how to buy the least expensive look.
Great expensive shit.
He's great at that.
Yeah.
Dove's like the studio a little bit.
This one's fucking amazing.
Because we have to cut something from the main episode.
The first thing, I'm like, how do you guys feel about the studio?
The first thing Mark says, he just starts trashing the Brooklyn studio and making up lies.
What lies?
You go, you go, yeah, well, you know, now it's different.
Before nobody wanted to come out to Brooklyn.
Why is that a lie?
You know how many people I got to ignore?
So how many text messages I get on a regular basis and I just got to be like, oh, yeah, about that.
We'll definitely have you on.
Insert the business.
You got any text messages?
I got to say, I got to say, hey, ask Andrew.
I don't really handle the booking.
Yes.
Now you can say, I don't even have to see.
It's hard out here.
Recession.
It's a recession.
It's a recession.
In this economy?
You know what?
Fuck it.
Y'all are crazy, Seth.
Oh, let's go.
Y'all are fucking crazy.
This is how we do an episode.
Come on, come on, boy.
There's no more space.
Why?
Just move over.
Welcome to the Juneteenth episode.
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
Okay.
This is just Oprah now.
Run the app.
Yo, is it fucked up?
No, no, let him run this app.
This is when Oprah interviewed Tom Cook.
Can you let him run this?
He's got this.
Stop bailing him out.
Nice, bro.
Yeah, you like that?
Yeah, it's a little nice.
Say something funny.
That's why he gets paid for big bucks.
Perfect topic.
Come on, Al, let's go.
Rapper Dead textified against us.
Get up to the end of the fucking couch, bro.
Can we all do it?
No, it might be right there.
No, come here, come here.
Can we just do the episode here?
This is a fun game.
Do the episode here.
Come on.
Mark, just be here so we can all be together.
Come on, bro.
Come on.
No, you don't.
Can we just leave that alone?
Is that possible?
Which camera are we in?
This one?
This one?
And this one.
Okay.
Listen, so here's the thing.
Is everybody happier?
Is this some more comfortable?
I'm cozy.
I'm not going to lie.
This couch is fire, bro.
It's cozy.
I know.
That's the person he said.
He sat in here.
He was like, man, this couch is real.
This couch is kind of nice, bro.
And this might be the new podcast setup.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
We bring on a guest.
They interview us.
Yo.
What do you want to know?
Talk to your boys.
Talk to your boys, bro.
Okay, so what do we got today?
Let's do some feelings, no facts.
Yes, feelings, no facts, okay?
What about this priest that's now doing porn, digging down?
Wait, really?
Yeah, bro.
Yeah, yeah, not just, I don't think it's just porn because he also came out as gay.
So I would assume this is gay porn.
He's right.
He's red.
Derek?
Yeah, huh?
Yo, son.
How is Derek Posing catching?
I didn't further hear.
I didn't find you, Dick.
Derek Posing.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
We hung out with you every weekend.
You didn't have any of that same energy when he was there.
Was this off podcast?
No, we on pod.
No, I mean.
You got a pink hat before the guy's gay.
Before when y'all were calling him by, was that on podcast or on podcast?
Where was that?
That was Akash calling him by.
I think y'all.
Look, Derek, I just have a question.
If you're not.
What if I just kiss Akash's name?
I'm not hyped.
Derek, it's a gay.
But I am gay.
I'm openly gay.
Derek, we miss you.
We love you.
We need you back, Derek.
Derek, we need you back.
I'll see you June 3rd and 4th.
He's really going to stay here the whole episode, huh?
He's really going to not.
I refuse to have my boys slandered.
No, you're not.
You decide so much more fun.
That's what it was.
This side is fire.
We made a fucking decision that fit the space well.
We knew they was going to have some scrutiny, and people are doing a fucking hashtag.
Like, we're abusing Akash.
Get Akash a seat.
It's like, buddy.
Oh, my God.
I'm a piece of shit.
You're a decent shit.
You're a bad guy.
You know what?
I assume the comments would be slandering the audio.
If they're slandering Andrew, I got to read them.
I'm not leaving.
I'm not leaving.
Who asked you to leave?
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm not leaving.
Who asked you to leave?
Nobody tried to kick him out.
I'm not leaving.
No, you don't.
You left on your own.
I'm not leaving.
You can stay right here.
Yo, I miss y'all.
I feel far.
You don't have what we got with 90 degrees just on my thigh, bro.
You run.
You got a hot ass.
I'm at least 98 degrees.
Yo, yo, son.
Come on, Al.
Let's just be comfortable, bro.
Can't we just be comfortable?
All right, bro.
Duff.
Why'd you say 90 degrees?
Like, that's a lot, bro.
We're all 98.
Nah, we got 73, right, though?
Your body temperature is 73?
Yo, shut up.
Is this guy talking about?
Shut up, bro.
Bill Nye.
Hey, right?
Bill Nod.
Hey, Bill Not.
How hot is our body, Bill?
No, no, Al, take my temperature.
Yo, Al, that was wild, dog.
That was wild.
Are you Al?
Peco, you.
We're going.
Crazy time.
We didn't bring out of the fucking couch friend.
Let's just chill and do nothing.
No.
He don't got his laptop to watch fucking video games.
90s Karma in the Dugout00:11:12
So now he actually got to contribute.
He's a wild ass boy.
Oh, my God.
I didn't know Al's a priest.
So tell us about this, Al.
What do you got?
Al, yeah, yo, Al too pro abortion to be a priest, dog.
Come on, let's be honest.
So apparently, this dude, he just bounced from the game.
He's like, yeah, I'm doing, I'm slinging dick now.
Serving up dick.
He said he doesn't.
He said he doesn't.
Yo, Mark's Catholic is so tight, bro.
It always is, yeah.
Always?
Always.
Always.
It has to be.
Or I'll sound good.
Nah, he made it so close to heaven.
He must have stopped believing, bro.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, he had to stop believing, right?
He's that close.
He's 97 years old.
He rides that belief out.
He goes to heaven.
Yep.
Oh, wow.
Right?
Like, you're right there.
Wow.
He's 83.
He's 83.
He can switch back.
Damn, he's old 83.
He might be doing it wrong.
Nah, but you can beg for forgiveness.
Yo, that's a big Catholic loophole.
You want to talk about loopholes?
You guys are going to.
Do whatever you want to.
And then right before you be like, yo, you know what?
I feel bad.
You don't got that?
No.
What happens when you and your friends rape a lizard?
You get some bad karma.
No, that's it.
You better be careful dressing like that.
Yeah, for real.
I'll have to take that down.
He's about to take that down.
You can have it.
You can have it.
Don't talk to me dirty, man.
Don't talk to me dirty, bro.
I see your chest poking out.
Oh, shit.
Al out here in the fucking gym, bro.
Unbutton one more.
Is that not a thing in Hindu that you can't just ask for Hinduism?
Not in Hinduism.
That's like me saying, is that a thing in Catholic?
It is.
It is a thing in Catholic.
If you are fucked up and you do something bad, no, you get bad karma.
That's it.
Build up a karmic debt.
But you can offend that karmic debt by doing something good, right?
Yeah.
Like good karma outweighs bad karma.
Yeah.
Well, it's ways the same.
What's your karmic calorie?
As far as I know.
What's your karmic credit score right now?
Yeah.
How do you know when you're I don't know, man.
I thought it was pretty good until I was sitting next to y'all on a couch.
Now who the fuck knows?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it was your fault.
Yeah.
Maybe it's karma.
That's a good point.
This is his karma.
God has decided.
Hindus gets gaslit so much, bro.
He's the guy with the big trunk.
You get the issue.
I'm not going to answer, bro.
You fucking asshole.
Hey, you fucking asshole, Alex.
The Hindus get gaslit.
If anything bad happens to you, it's karma.
Oh, yeah.
So if any bad shit happens, if any bad shit happens, that's on you.
It is.
So if any shit happens, it's like, yeah, I fucked up.
Yeah, I hear you.
I'm going to punch you in the leg.
You want a knuckle sandwich?
You want a knuckle sandwich then?
I don't know what's going on.
I'm going to punch myself.
No, I'm trying to be serious and make an interesting point about religion and culture, and Andrew doesn't want to hear it.
He's just trying to be a scoundrel.
I swear to God, bro.
He's trying to be a scoundrel, right?
I swear to God.
I'm about to go bowling right now.
He just bowled a perfect game.
Dude, he just robbed the picnic table.
What is this whole shit?
This is crazy.
What happened?
He just bowed a perfect game.
Don't ever disrespect me acting like you didn't just get a turkey.
Okay, but for real, can we have a conversation?
Yes.
All right.
We're trying to be serious.
You want to see?
You just upset.
Oh, my bad.
I'm fucking up the mic already.
You just had to have an anger as a bro.
You're defending yourself.
Did I spit on my channel?
You've had spit on your chin for 20 minutes, at least.
Bro.
This guy's crazy.
Yo, you know what's crazy?
Tell me something.
To lubricate a vagina wall, I don't ever spit on my hands.
I thought you were going to end it there.
I take saliva sometimes to get my fingers wet.
I don't look for a joke because that seems rude.
Yeah, I don't want to disrespect myself.
Right, though?
That's not the one I'm trying to disrespect.
Oh, it's disrespectful to me.
Yeah, why would I do such a thing to myself?
Yeah, I didn't think about it like that.
I just thought the act of like spitting is so like vulgar.
Little vanilla bitch.
I know, bro.
I treat that pussy like a 90s handshake, bro.
Put it there.
A 90s handshake?
Yeah, bro.
How fucking old do you think the 90s?
That's how best friends handshake in the middle of the night.
You just dissed us just now.
That's a 90s handshake.
This guy's a real asshole.
That's how best friends.
He's a young asshole.
Like, we was walking around the 90s.
Well, I was 18.
I'm walking around at 18 years old, spitting on my handshake.
We had cell phones.
Yes, if you watch a 90s movie, that's how they're all handshake.
Just think about me, motherfucker.
This is bookie.
90s movies about the 40s.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, oh, okay.
So, how old are you guys?
Movie of the year.
Everybody's fucking shaking.
Did you only watch Disney movies, by the way?
I was a kid in the 90s.
Yes.
I was not watching any eyeswatch.
You weren't a kid till 97, bro.
You talking about it?
Yeah, I know.
That's my point.
I wasn't watching fucking all your old movies and shit in the 90s.
They hate him, bro.
They hate us, but they want to beat us, bro.
That's what it is.
You're wearing 90s sneakers.
You're wearing an old retro jersey.
You're wearing the best war ever pants.
Which was that's Vietnam, right?
This is?
Oh, maybe I don't know.
Which camel pants?
We staunch in and out of style three different times.
That's true.
No, that's good.
No, we switch up.
Yo, what are you trying to be camouflaged from when you're shirt?
No, that was good, though, but I just got you at the side.
Real dunk, bro.
Do you cut my hair?
Yeah, it's doing that.
It's doing that, bro.
I just don't get it.
Sorry, Alex.
This to your point.
I know I just hit my own palm by accident, bro.
But he looks like my gay Cuban one before Alex.
I had a gay.
Oh, that's a reference vlogging.
Yeah, that's true.
He explained it to me.
I'm going to the dugout, bro.
I'm going to the dugout.
I want to see the dugout.
I want to see him like come down.
I want to see the dugout.
I'm going to the fucking dugout.
I got to start it over.
All right, let's go.
Bro, Schrozer and Comedy Central Rose would be legendary, bro.
Yo, this guy looks like my uncle.
You guys know my uncle, right?
This is my conscience.
Oh, my God.
Okay, guys, what are we talking about?
Damn, Al.
Come on, son.
I be running hot, bro.
It's soaking wet.
Are you sweating?
I've been turning.
He's been complaining about a temperature since he got here.
Literally, since he sat down, he's like dove about everything else.
Just constant complaining.
Yo, but only about temperature.
Yeah, this is crazy, dude.
See?
Okay.
Should I buy a backup couch?
Huh?
Should I buy another couch?
Oh, we have three more in the other room.
Yeah, what y'all doing with those?
Yeah, what are you doing, though?
What are you doing, though?
Alan already robbed the other one, bro.
I got a message from Louise.
He thank you so much for the sound panels.
I was like, oh.
You're welcome.
I told you I can take them.
I saw him taking towers.
He's helpful moving.
I was like, what's happening right now?
What is his other truck for?
That's weird.
I was just packing shit up.
Son, y'all told me to take them.
We did?
Yeah.
Dove, Dove did.
Dove signed off on it.
I saw it happen.
See, Dove is very giving when it's not his money.
He almost got a lot of stuff.
Very generous guy.
Until I said it, I didn't know if it was a subscription-based cooler.
I'm just giving away your money, bro.
That's why you called me about the fridge.
Yeah.
But the funny, the way that you said it was hilarious.
He was like, Al calls me.
He goes, Yeah, this guy is so fucking fake, dude.
It's crazy.
It's so fucking fake.
No, he drives him the craziest dude to be fake.
No, he goes, He goes, Are we taking the fridge?
Like that.
What does that mean?
Are we taking the fridge?
I mean, you, because you make the decisions.
I'm saying, fuck that seat.
That's not your fault.
That's perfectly reasonable.
He's saying, are we taking it?
Shut the fuck up.
Fuck up.
It's so easy to get.
Fuck the fuck up at the end, yo.
Y'all give a fuck about the crust.
You call me the crust.
You're the ass piece of the bread.
God damn, bro.
I hate y'all motherfuckers.
How many phones you got, Al?
How many phones?
Yo, Al, no, that's not my.
I got my phone right here.
Why you got two phone?
That phone.
Snitches on himself.
Why is this snitching his phone?
No, it's not.
Now he's sweating up.
Everything does.
Yo, yo, yo, son.
I quit.
Not with that white boy shit.
Come in, get your dicks up.
Yo, come in right now.
Get your dicks on.
Stop playing, bro.
You need to stop playing.
Come here, son.
Come in.
Come in.
I wish Al had a dick on his arm, bro.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
Watch out, Al?
Wild fucking dick.
That's some gross.
Control tickle.
Ticklish.
I can control it.
You can control.
All right, let's find out.
Okay, go find out.
Go control ticklish.
All right, ready?
Go.
Get in there.
Yo, get in there.
Dig in there, buddy.
Yo, this is.
Oh, this shit got a lot here.
It's like you turn the autism on.
Emotions?
I've never felt it.
I can turn those up.
Never felt those.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
I can turn it up.
Little son of a bitch.
Okay.
Akash, what are we talking about?
What would you like to talk about?
You guys heard about Kellyanne Conway?
It's the seat.
It's the seat.
Yo, I'm telling you.
Yo, intelligent about these two ass.
Listen, when big seats come, big responsive girls.
Okay, don't be fucking that shit up.
It's fire over here at the end, bro.
I'm going to call my wife.
I ain't got no responsibility on this goddamn show anyway.
Hey, WTF Media Studio.
Yeah, you can book that shit.
Yeah.
Speck the chair one time for all the people.
Yo!
Giddy up, yo.
Giddy up.
Okay, what are we talking about?
Kellyanne Conway.
Okay, well, she hit it that time.
What'd she do?
Yo, this bitch wrote a book trying to shit on her whole family to look good.
Have you guys heard about this?
Why is it so funny?
Because it is good.
He did a good job.
He tried to be serious so bad.
Because it did do a good job.
No, he did a great job bringing up the topic, but it was something so phony about the wedding.
I panicked because I was like, they didn't read this shit.
I don't know they won the random.
I thought she retired, Kellyanne Conway, doesn't her daughter?
My daughter openly hates her.
And was like exposing her parents or something.
Yeah, she was.
That's what she got to do with it.
Yo, this is that sheet is mad far, bro.
We need to bring that shit a little closer.
You got to relight the whole studio?
Yo, we might have got to bring that shit a little closer.
Yo, she would play the TikToks when her mom's just fucking going nuts.
God damn, if I'm not controlling it, goose, bro.
Jail Intention and Attacks00:09:57
Okay.
All right, let's go.
How old is Kellyanne Conway's daughter?
In 2021, she was 16.
In 2021, she was 16.
So now she's 17.
Come on, son.
Why are you talking about these little girls, bro?
Back it up.
Back it up.
No, no, you got to go to the dugout.
Go ahead, Mark.
Go there, Mark.
You got to hit the dug out.
Let's go.
I'm telling you, you got to hit it.
Back down.
Go.
There you go.
That's good.
Yeah, but you're dirty.
And you got to fill your head up because it's reflecting so much.
Yeah, Miles.
Miles, stop ganging up.
Miles, stop ganging up.
Okay, you're a chickety dead day.
Miles is so homeless because of you.
Fuck you.
I know, but you really are a piece of shit.
Wait, me?
Yeah, you're a piece of shit.
Why?
What did you do to be a piece of shit?
No, without points, it's different.
Outpoints is that.
No, You're a piece of shit.
You see that?
Son, this head will be.
You see that, bro?
I would cross the street.
I might cross it.
Perhaps, though, perhaps.
You never know.
You know what I mean?
Son, is this Patreon?
Can I tell a story?
All right, it's 11.
If it's related to this, yes.
Okay, last night I'm talking to Charlamagne, right?
And I'm talking to Charlotte, and I'm just on, and I have my dog, and we're chilling outside of this building across the street from my building, right?
And I'm just leaning up on a building, right?
And I got the AirPods in, and my dog's right here.
And this guy comes out to like take his trash out from the building.
And he says something.
My dog is like barking at him.
So I just grab my dog's mouth and I go, yeah, sorry.
But I'm not really hearing what he said.
Then he says something, and I think he called me a bitch.
This old ass man, right?
He goes, I'm pretty sure he called me.
I was like, excuse me?
He goes, he goes, oh, do you have the time?
I go, oh, yeah, yeah.
It's 11:30.
I put my AirPods back in.
I start walking away and I hear bitch.
He goes, bitch.
And I go, I go, I'm sorry, did you say something?
Because I got the AirPods in.
I'm talking to Charlotte, right?
I go, I'm sorry, did you say something?
And he goes, he goes, no, no, I was just asking the time.
Yeah, this guy is hilarious, man.
I was just asking the time.
He goes, I go, I just told you the time.
That's when I know he said bitch, right?
I walk away.
I hear him go, bitch, bitch.
Because I say, don't say anything to Charlotte.
Hey, bitch, bitch.
I'm walking halfway down the block and I think I lose my mind.
And I don't know if my like ego, I feel a little vulnerable because Charlotte's on the phone.
Some guys call me a bitch and I'm not doing nothing.
I also have a golden fucking doodle.
You know what I mean?
Like my masculinity is in check.
Right?
It's an old man in front of his building.
I'm like a quarter of the way down the block.
I turn around and I get out run straight for him, right?
Like this, hoofing right at his thing, knowing that he's going to get scared, right?
Where's your dog?
With me, running.
Yeah, hanging on.
Yo, no, no.
We're both running for this motherfucker.
And the guy immediately looks at me, goes inside, and closes the door to his thing.
And I'm just start cursing at the who's a bitch.
I live right across from this guy.
I'm gonna see him every single day of my life.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Wait, wait, for it.
We gotta get these guys out the neighborhood.
What the fuck, bro?
What the fuck is that?
Yeah, you can't take them nowhere, dude.
They're violent.
They're prone to violent genetics.
Why they say New Yorkers are rude, bro.
I like this shit.
Joe, you might be right.
No, but Al, you're right.
I'm not done yet.
I go walk the dog thinking I'm like, yeah, I just told that motherfucker what it is.
I come back.
He's still outside of his apartment going, bitch.
I thought he said it from the window.
No, he's the house.
You're going, bitch.
And then we just have a fucking back and forth.
I actually know someone who lives in this building.
I won't stay on this, but whatever.
So now I got fucking beef with somebody right next door.
Why was he calling you a bitch?
Wait, why?
My boy who lives there that you guys know, my boy that I won't say.
No, no, because I was walking a dog.
Yeah.
And then I had to walk back to where I live.
Yeah, but when you came back and he's going to be a little bit more damaged.
You clearly have no problem breaking your route.
You could chase this guy.
That's a good ass point.
Wait, what did I do wrong?
Yo, bitch was confirmed the second time, I think.
Yeah, but then I chased him and he went back in his house.
And then you came back and ran.
And then he kept saying something.
He said nothing.
No, I started cursing at him and talking and blah, blah.
See in his window?
No, he's like standing in front of the doorway to the building.
But the crazy thing is my boy, who lives in it that I'll tell you guys after that you guys all know told me he's just a wild ass old man and he sent me security footage.
Like he's like a he's like a racist and shit.
And he sent me security footage of him just cursing at some dudes that were like delivering shit to the building.
And then the dudes pulled a fucking United Airlines on him and started beating this motherfucker's ass and they got it on the security camera.
So he's just like an old man who's like probably a little bit crazy, probably lived in a building forever and for sure crazy.
Yeah.
100%.
For sure mental illness.
100%.
Had a mask on.
What?
You look really cool when you tell this story.
No, I'm not trying to look cool.
Nah, it's funny because I don't look cool because the guy's calling me a bitch.
Yeah, you should have hit him, bro.
Really?
Yeah.
No.
No, dude.
He's clearly fucking crazy.
Why are you chasing the first time?
Well, I just want to see how you knock out the race.
That's the crazy part.
That's crazy.
That's what you could have done is went home.
Yeah.
He's old.
And then not chased after a crazy.
He's old, angry, mentally ill fuck.
You are a young millionaire.
What are you talking about?
Yes.
You could have killed him.
Al, Al, you acting like you're behind a desk right now.
You're on a couch, dog.
Andrews feel like a man on a couch.
You're not doing nothing, bro.
Oh, yes, sir.
What are you doing?
No, he's getting a slap.
Open-handed slap.
What if when you go to attack him, he runs inside?
And it was not my intention to attack him.
But you wanted him to think it was that he had to go.
You wanted him to think it was your intention.
It was not my intention to attack him.
Okay.
It was not my intention to attack him.
It was in no way my attention.
You got a nice tit.
Microphone.
I ain't going to get a microphone.
Microphone, but that tit had a nice slap to it, bro.
That felt like butt cheeks, bro.
I ain't going to front.
That city felt like butt cheeks right there.
In that moment, I think I realized Al could fuck up Andrew.
Yes then.
I'm not gonna lie, dog.
Close, like close quarters.
If he gets a hold of you, bro.
If I get close, I'm alligator.
Yeah, but you better keep that.
That's not keeping that dick.
That's what he keeps the distance.
I got a chance.
But right here, just that.
He spits, bro.
He's spinning.
He spits.
That's petrol, dude.
You're getting drowned.
It feels far away over there, don't it?
Nah, nah, I'm having crazy.
I mean, I'm seeing him.
If I'm next to the fucking Komodo dragon, bro.
Okay.
Yeah.
What else are we talking about?
Yeah, Buck.
All right, hypothetical.
Yeah.
Would you rather go to jail for something you didn't do?
Okay.
Or have your father go to jail for something that you didn't.
You asked him two of the wrong people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's an easy decision.
Five bucks.
But I couldn't send my dad to jail.
No way.
Yeah.
What would you do?
You'd go to jail for what?
Something you didn't do.
Whatever it is.
Bullshit.
Nah, I'll go to jail.
I'd run jail.
I'd be the king.
You wouldn't even let your shorty get first class.
You're not fit.
You're talking about my dad, not my wife, bro.
What are you talking about?
What is the dude you tell hypotheticals to?
He's like, no, I would go to jail that I break out.
Now I'm out of jail.
I don't break out of jail.
I would break out of jail.
They didn't break out of jail.
Someone else did it.
Who?
Someone who probably didn't invent subtitles.
In that case.
You know what I'm saying?
No, no.
Some guy broke out of jail.
He's probably not even that smart.
Okay.
You don't think that we could break out of jail, bro?
How would you break out?
Oh, did you see the girl that broke the three dudes out?
Yes.
She was like that.
You break down a CO.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Crazy.
Hell yeah.
20-year-old white girl against these kids.
Can you cheat on your wife, dog?
To get back to her.
God damn it.
Only time I'll cheat on my wife is to get back to her, bro.
Damn, yo.
I would fuck dog the bounty hunter's wife.
Whoever the CO is.
Goddamn ugly ass COs, bro.
All right, now what if it's you go to jail for something you didn't do, or your girl goes to jail for something you did do?
How long should you get?
Because girl jail ain't that bad.
Yeah, it is not that bad.
How long are we talking about?
They just each other's hair.
You get your nails painted.
You get a girlfriend all of a sudden.
Life is good.
You're hanging out all the time.
Low-key, I feel like girls might like prison.
Low-key, yes.
100% would.
100%.
Teach me how to eat some pulls.
I teach me how to use some pulls.
Hey, bro, teach me how to eat some pole.
Come on, I'll press the buttons.
Do some button pressing out here, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
It is what it is.
Slaps.
You got butt cheeks on your chest, bro.
Them shits needs to get a slap.
Don't put me on the couch.
I got butts too, bro.
I've been doing push-ups, bro.
And I do them on my knuckles sometimes.
What?
Come on, bro.
I've been trying.
I got an offer for you.
Okay, go.
Would you drive backwards in reverse from New York City to Los Angeles for $1 million?
Yeah.
Whole way reverse.
What?
You got to drive backwards the whole way.
That's mad annoying, bro.
There's no way he'd do it.
What's the $50 million?
Is it a million dollars for charity?
That would change it if it was a million dollars for charity.
$50 million for you.
All money is charity.
You can give it, you can give it a job.
$150 million.
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
Because all the money I've made, none of it has gone to charity.
So you can't.
But you can't get it.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Black Lives Matter.
So does Blue Square.
Something with three of the farmers.
I'm sure your accountant has donated quite a bit.
No, we out here donating, bro.
Donations.
But you can take the money and donate it yourself.
Laughing at Frito Bangs00:09:38
I could also flick my clip.
Don't.
There's so many things I could do, bro.
I haven't been on a chair with you.
I don't want to be here.
You got a different energy.
I got them boxed in, bro.
There ain't nothing you can do.
There ain't nothing you can do.
I'm just a jelly because I'm painted games.
This is my life, though.
Okay?
That's what you get.
You felt that right there?
Well, you scared of it?
It's like, can you fuck up?
You scared of it?
Get open that.
You're scared, you little scurd.
Come on, bro.
Move over so I can smell your seat.
Yo, yo, more so I can sniff your fucking seat, bro.
Yo, all right, you go, you go.
So let's do one more rotation.
Okay, one more rotation.
Hold up.
Hold on.
You are so sweaty, it's unbelievable.
We're going to need to buy another couch to get you.
Al's a slug, bro.
He's a full slug.
He's just slithering around the studio.
Dude, he is.
Leaving a fucking snail trail.
This is just.
Okay, Al, can you give us a topic?
No, you can't.
You got it.
What are we talking about?
All right, Young Thung.
It's the seat.
You're kidding, Curse.
You don't see.
I haven't thought the word since I moved.
It's the seat.
There's no way.
It's the seat, bro.
There's no way.
Young Thumb?
Young Thumb?
It's a different rapper.
Oh, you guys.
I was talking about Young Thug?
Yeah, who's Young Thumb?
Young Thumb.
He's like Frito Bangs, like co-writer.
Do you know Frito Bangs?
No, dog.
Yeah, I know Frito Bangs.
Of course, I know him, bro.
Yo, yo, that's another thing.
That's the name you don't know.
I know Frito Bangs.
I know mad songs about him.
That's Chase, Paper Chase.
Come on, Frito Bangs got the heads.
Do you know what I mean?
Do you remember?
Shell of Pecks.
So the Pays.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I know Frito Bangs.
I actually know him.
I met him.
That's a rapper you made up, I think.
No, Fredo Fredro Bangs, man.
Fredo Bangs?
Fred?
Went to Bronx School of Science?
Did fucking dork?
You did.
What kind of nerd-ass rapper are you friends with, bro?
Wait a minute.
I didn't go to Bronx schools, huh?
Where'd you go?
I can't believe you forgot what high school.
Oh, Baruch.
Yeah, I know what high school you went to.
Which high school?
San Francisco.
No, Frisco.
Frisco.
First of all, yeah.
That's how his braid works.
Like, you know, he was close to that word.
And then I had to get there.
Yeah, 100%.
I know you went to Frisco.
Where did you go to?
Bard high school early.
Bard high school.
You went to your living room?
Yeah.
It looked like this, actually.
This is what my school was.
Bet you wish you had a fucking chair, huh?
I would have liked that.
I would have learned way more.
Damn, bro.
Motherfuckers shamed us.
Okay.
Can we please have another topic to discuss with our dear patrons?
Yes, I have a video I want to show you, okay?
Yeah.
If you laugh, you owe me a million dollars.
Okay.
Okay.
And what if I don't laugh?
I'll give you a kiss.
Oh, boy.
Here we go.
Here we go, but we need some volumin on this puss.
Yep.
You can't laugh the whole video, okay?
Understood?
Yeah, I understand it.
Hell, so this is.
I need my cat.
You can't laugh either.
Hoodie mellow in the corner, son.
Yo, son.
Don't do that, Miles.
He looks like a stock image of a hacker, doesn't he?
No, he doesn't.
He looks like a pumpkin.
Bibity Bobby Boop.
Is that Cinderella when you date Cherry's fucking stick, though?
Bibbity Bobity Boop.
What is that from?
That's not Cinderella.
That's like that.
When they change it into a fucking pumpkin.
Come on.
I'm sorry.
My bad.
Al, you can't laugh either.
Okay.
Go.
He's already seen this.
No, I can laugh at this.
Oh, you've seen it too.
Man, well, Slip needs to see the guy who's clearly retarded or no, no.
God damn.
Go.
All right.
Wait, what?
I'm just waiting for you to play.
I'm trying to build some anticipation with Andrew, okay?
Knees weak, arms are heavy.
This vomiting on the floor.
I wish he had a camera.
He looked at you, fucking.
And on the surface, he looked calm and ready to drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down.
The whole crowd.
Go spaghetti.
Yo, ain't it funny?
Is this the one rap song he actually knows?
I know mad rap songs, bro.
White people hear that song, lose yourself.
I am him.
I'm Eminem.
When that song comes, every white person knows those lyrics.
I don't know those lyrics.
I'm just freestyling.
He's in the crowd already.
He's in the crowd already, and the chits are fucking furious.
I'm going to grab their butt and touch it.
All right, here's a video.
You can't laugh.
All right, go.
I'm being serious.
How many questions do you think I asked Miles today and he answered a different question and it drove me fucking crazy?
It's so funny when he does that shit.
Here we go.
I'll ask you.
I'm just like, I'm not.
Hey, Miles, did the light move?
Alphabets were originated in ancient Sumer.
And if you look back at cave drawings.
No, but did the lights move?
Well, it depends.
If a cave actually has the natural light, then people could draw the alphabets as well as other animals inside the cave.
No, but this light right here, did it just move a little bit?
What I'm trying to say is that I will be able to do the alphabet for you in an ancient Sumeric tongue if you just give me a moment to try to do it.
That was four different conversations.
At least four different conversations.
Okay.
All right.
You can't laugh at this video.
I'm not going to laugh at it at all.
I really hope.
Love you, Miles.
Thank you so much for all your hard work and your dedication.
He's ready, bro.
He really is.
Knees weak.
All right, ready?
Miles never shoot him.
Stop.
Stop.
Omilly.
Oh, million.
Just run it back, right?
It's so good.
Stop it.
I love this kid, yo.
All-time legendary video, bro.
Stop it.
Stop.
Yo, have you ever been that excited in your life?
Never, has anything ever made me feel like this?
God bless this kid.
Bro, it's awesome.
Imagine that.
What is that like?
What is it like?
You know, after you take the trip to the little clinic, like you guys are wild, bro.
Yo, you're crazy, bro.
You're crazy, man.
You are fucking insane, sweating all over my seat.
Come on, Miles.
What's up there, boy?
You're not like jammed up between y'all niggas.
That's so cool.
Yo, how much more room is there on the couch without?
It's unbelievable.
Look how much out of here.
They're fucking tapping knees right now.
That's just because we're close.
Yeah, they like that.
They're not afraid of being homophobic.
Look, well, Pretzel.
Look, it's a braid.
Look at that.
How do you feel?
Do you want to join?
Nope.
Why not?
I should circle drink right now.
Joe, you know what Tom Cassetta said about Europeing?
He said it is evident of a guy with a small dick.
Oh, yeah.
He said, he didn't mean it in a mean way.
Yeah, he was just like, he's like, oh, does he have like an abnormally small dick?
Like, he came, he got a drink.
The fact that y'all talking about my dick, I know that's just heavy.
Heavy.
The stream was so heavy, it was like.
All right, fine.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
I didn't know.
Go to the booth.
Yo, go to the fucking.
I was trying to get it.
Yo, go to the booth with Miles.
Yo, yo, go in the fucking booth.
Wait, damn, I don't know what I was doing just now.
Miles, you want to come sit?
I don't have a mic.
I don't have a mic.
That was crazy, son.
I had no way I was going with that.
Son, you got so defensive, son.
Yo, you don't got to get so defensive, bro.
I feel too far from y'all over here.
What do you mean?
Should we just get one couch that we all sit on?
I feel so far.
I would love it.
Right?
You feel the distance, the energy has changed.
I just miss you, dude.
I miss y'all too.
Are you taking his water?
Yeah, what the fuck?
For what?
Oh, thank you.
Hey, thanks, buddy.
Thank you.
Yo, that's what you got.
That's a big time move.
Yo, he lets you know.
You knew to the couch.
Yo, you knew to the center shot.
You knew.
This is how newbies get treated over here, bro.
You want some water?
Jesus.
Give him that shot.
Mark won't drink it either.
He won't drink after people.
Gross.
Why does he have to do it?
Yo, I'm going to get the fuck out of my shot, bro.
Come on, son.
Be respectful of my fucking shot, bro.
Remember, my bad.
You know what I'm saying?
Fucking, I'm back in my motherfucking chair, bro.
Talk to me.
I'm a fucking cunt.
I'm a douchebag.
I do need to bring up.
Miles, what are you doing?
Don't stress me out.
I won't have to refocus.
Oh, God.
Crypto Exodus for Newbies00:03:32
Wow.
God damn.
Now we got an answer for you.
Wow.
Very clear.
Very direct.
Yo.
Wow.
Yo.
Notice how he still didn't answer the question.
It wasn't the question.
That's a very answer.
The question was, what are you doing?
Oh, refocusing the camera.
That's it.
That's the answer.
Fucking dick.
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Apologizing After Cancel Culture00:11:41
And now let's get back to the show.
What do we have?
All right, you want to talk about Ricky Gervais, brand new stand-up?
Yo, Gervais had a fucking great take on cancel culture.
Yeah, dude.
Well, we could play the clip and insert it, but basically he's like, if you don't let me improve from the shit I said 10 years ago, I'm going to just keep saying it.
You want Aldisi Allen's.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I was going to tell the other one.
It was his best day ever.
He was on Twitter going, oh, I've wanted to do this all my life, right?
And then someone found these 10-year-old tweets.
About Kevin Hart right now.
They were sort of childish, sort of shitty, homophobic tweets.
It was about his son.
He was mucking around.
He said, oh, my son's doing so-and-so.
I hope he's not gay.
There was a massive backlash.
He went, oh, sorry.
That sounds, I'm not homophobic.
Really sorry.
He deleted them, right?
And said, I'm really sorry.
10 years later, someone finds a screen grab and goes, look, he's done this.
Oh, big thing.
The Oscars go, oh, you've got to apologize again.
He went, no, I've apologized.
I can't keep apologizing.
And he's right.
If there's no value to saying sorry and evolving, you might as well just tweet him again.
That's the way deal with shit.
Anyway.
But if you're the type of person to revel in someone getting cancelled for something they said 10 years ago, you're just ensuring that one day you'll be cancelled for something you said today.
You can't predict what will be offensive in the future.
You don't know who the dominant mob will be.
You know, like the worst thing you can say today, get you cancelled on Twitter, death threats.
The worst thing you can say today is, women don't have penises.
All right?
Now, no one saw that coming.
There are no 10-year-old tweets that people say.
You won't find a 10-year-old tweet of someone saying women don't have penises.
Do you know why?
We didn't think we fucking had to.
It's great.
Let's get to the trans thing after, but the first part of it.
This idea, it's like, what world do you want to live in?
Like, if you want to live in a world where people are no longer saying these words, if they're not saying them, they said them 10 years, but they're not saying them, then you have to let them evolve.
They have, yeah, they have evolved with the times, which is what you want them to do.
What world do you want to live in?
Yes.
Because otherwise, just keep saying it, and now you're in the world that you don't want to be in.
Yeah.
So shut the fuck up.
You have what you want.
Yes.
Cancel the people that are still doing it.
Yes.
Okay.
I don't even want to say cancel them.
But like...
You want punitive action or shout them down or whatever if they're still saying it?
Cool.
If they said it in the past and stop saying it, that's exactly what you want.
You want people to evolve and learn and grow.
That's what you demand.
We have statute of limitations on everything.
Yes.
Like, I don't even know.
Murder?
I don't know.
I think outside of murder, maybe rape.
Yeah, you shouldn't have it for those two.
Everything.
You think everything else?
Like, I even think with taxes.
Like, if you didn't even pay your taxes, like back in the day, there's only a certain amount of years that they could get you.
After that, suckers.
How many, what?
How many years?
Say again?
How many years?
I'd be paying too much money in taxes.
Yeah.
We pay a lot.
We're sitting in a write-off right now.
I'm writing this thing off for the rest of my fucking life.
Okay.
But still, like, if everything has a statue of limitations except the words that we use, even if you said it and you meant it in a fucked up way, if you've changed, you gotta let motherfuckers change.
You don't gotta do business with them anymore.
But bringing them up is just gonna stop people from ever making the change because the costs, I mean, the costs are too high.
How do you measure if someone's changed, though?
They're not saying that shit anymore.
Yeah.
It could not have changed in their personal life, but if publicly they are, then what do you care?
Yeah.
And if they're in your private life, then tell them privately.
Yeah, or remove them from your private life.
Or remove them from your private.
And there's a lot of people who say the right thing publicly and then privately, they're pieces of shit.
We elect them to office with regularity.
So if human beings, if it's not live and learn, it's be born perfect and evolve 100 years like right now, we're all fucked.
I love that.
None of us are going to know.
You're disincentivizing change.
Yeah.
I love this.
It's wonderfully said.
Okay, give me the pushback.
Some real fucked up shit, like super, like, oh, let's exterminate this group of people.
I think we would all call that now.
Is it a joke?
In any given time, in any given time, let's exterminate a group of people.
You're not allowed to say that.
It doesn't matter.
I'm saying there are fighters.
There's a fighter named Sean Strickland that was part of some neo-Nazi groups or something like that in his youth.
And through fighting, he realized that there were all these non-white people that were really helping him out and like.
showed him a lot of love.
And they were loving him and helping him and supporting him in ways that like his like neo-Nazi buddies or like white supremacist buddies were.
And then it made him relinquish that shit.
Now, I'm not saying that those views are absolutely abhorrent, but we let him change.
And now that's for the better.
This person is out here and he's, let me just get the point out.
This person is out here and he has become the person that we want him to be.
And he's been very open and honest about it.
Instead of like hiding it, he had a conversation with Ariel Hawani about it.
And Errol Hawani is a Jewish guy.
And they had this conversation.
It's like he had these horrible views.
And then he's changed these views through talking to new people and being allowed to change.
What do we do?
Do we say, hey, when you were a kid and you thought these fucking horrible things, you should never be allowed to do anything else in your life anymore?
Or do we say, hey, that was great that you left that horrible shit aside?
And I hope more people also do that.
Additionally, that's the guy that can make the most change with the group of people whose mind you want to change.
He can go to these white supremacists and say, guys, I used to be this.
I understand what you feel.
I empathize with you.
It's not the way.
The idea of scared straight for kids who are like troubled youth is taking them to prison and then a prisoner says, yo, I am what you were or whatever.
You know what I mean?
It's the same kind of idea here where you take a guy who has changed and then talks to these people who are still in that shitty state and be like, yo, this is not it.
But like Mark's question, how do you know they've changed?
Just because they stopped saying it doesn't necessarily mean that they changed anymore.
They can just be like, hey, I'm not.
But how can you judge a man by his beliefs?
It's impossible.
None of us can do that, good or bad.
I can't say a person says bad things, does bad things, is good because of his thoughts.
You know what I mean?
I can't say a person is good because he says the right thing, does it?
He might do fucked up things in private.
We don't know that.
Let's assume they have changed.
Do we still punish them for these past beliefs?
Let's assume they have changed.
Do we still punish them?
What do you mean by punish them?
Like social like ostracization?
Yeah.
Or illegal.
Or like you don't get to be on the team that drafted you.
They look back at your tweets when you were 16 years old and they see that you were tweeting rapid lyrics and they're like, oh, that's it.
We can't have this white guy who tweets some rap lyrics.
Or if you're a black dude and you tweeted some wild shit, we can't have you on the team.
Yeah, I mean, of course, I don't think that's necessarily the solution.
But like, I do think people bring up like, yo, how do you actually rehabilitate someone that believes fucked up shit?
So like people point out, like, this is a quote that like will go around the internet where it's like, okay, if there's one Nazi at a table and nine people around him, there's 10 Nazis at a table.
That's like a quick thing that people will say, like, obviously to try to get people to stop disenfranchising with quote unquote Nazis.
But it's like, it depends what the context of that interaction is.
Like, if you're trying to bring someone out of like a social situation or like there's some type of cultural pariah and you bring them into a new situation where you're able to like change their thoughts on some like Daryl Davis shit.
Yeah.
Is that helpful?
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I think I think that's a much more helpful thing than ostracizing the one person and then they find each other and they just feed into that hate.
I think what Akash was saying earlier also makes a lot of sense, which is like, I want that guy to share his story because his story could help so many other people that were like him.
Yeah.
Right.
That's a powerful story.
But if he's afraid to share that story because he's like, oh my God, my UFC contract is going to be taken.
All my sponsors are going to go away from me.
Everybody's going to hate me.
And they're going to paint me now as this person that I was.
Then he's going to be completely silent.
Nobody else gets helped.
Now, if he did horrible things based on those beliefs, like he broke the law and did some foul shit back then.
That's different.
That's different.
Yeah.
But we're talking about believing something.
Like, Mel Gibson's a good example.
Okay, go.
He says most racist shit about Jewish people.
Sorry.
And then they, who went and vouched for him?
I forget who, but someone went up in front of the academy and was like, guys, Mel Gibson's changed.
We're sorry.
Take him back.
And like, they stuck their neck out and they're like, he's a different person and tried to bring him back into the fold.
For the longest time, he was like pushed out.
Do you remember who that was?
No.
I forget who that person was.
The last thing I remember about Mel Gibson not even making a joke was the audio recording that his ex-wife released where he's saying more racist shit.
Yeah, exactly.
So to me, it's like, you didn't change.
But I would also say ostracizing didn't work.
Right.
Because he got ostracized and then you got him on tape a few years later saying more shit.
Because it's like, what?
Do you really think that helps?
It makes us feel good.
It really makes you feel good, me included, to ostracize somebody.
I'm okay ostracizing people in the moment.
Yes.
For foul shit that they do.
I'm ostracizing Will Smith.
Like Will Smith, you're not cool to me because of an action that you did.
10 years from now, if Will Smith or a few years, whatever it is, he goes, man, I fucked up.
That was so stupid.
Look at the trends of shit that I caused.
Look at all these people at Newark that are getting fucking harassed because of me.
Like, look at what I've done.
Look at the avalanche.
The agent union is in shambles right now.
Shambles, bro.
People bleeding.
Right?
So it's like, if I at least admit and take accountability for what I did, right?
And then change in the future and recognize that.
Yo, Will, come on to pod, bro.
Like, I got you.
Let's talk it out.
You're cool.
I don't know if forgiveness is the right word, but like, yeah, we're going to move on.
You realize what you did?
You worked it out with Will or you worked out with Chris.
Okay, let's go on.
Let's figure something else out.
So the thing with the Oscars and Kev, I think they were just like, hey, we just want you to apologize so we know you don't have those thoughts that you had 10 years ago.
But he had already said he's already apologized.
Did he already say that?
They want that motherfucker to kiss the ring and they were protecting themselves.
They were basically like, yo, look, they're going to make a big deal of this because we live in cancel culture right now.
So they're going to find these tweets.
Somebody probably already showed them.
They're like, if you allow this guy to host, what we're going to do, because it's all about like getting the corporation to bend.
It's not about the person.
So somebody probably found a tweet and they're like, I can get this corporation to bend.
Watch.
Right?
It's a power struggle.
I didn't know he already hosted that.
So he explains that in the joke, you might not have caught it early on, but he says he apologized.
He said, I'm wrong.
That was wrong.
I'm not homophobic.
So they hit up the Oscars and they basically said, yo, listen, I'm going to do this and I'm going to expose this.
And you guys are going to look crazy because you have a homophobe is hosting the Oscars.
So the Oscars freaks out and then they go.
And the Oscars might not have even done their due diligence.
The Oscars might not even look to see if they apologize.
And then it becomes this public fiasco when Kev could have just hit him and be like, yo, I already apologized for this.
I'm not going to be held up on this forever.
Now he did end up apologizing again.
Well, that was Kev's statement when he stepped out.
He's like, I'm not going to be hosting the Oscars because they're asking me to apologize and I've already apologized however many times over.
And the onslaught is just so fucking relentless.
I don't blame a guy for caving in a certain sense, but like to me, he apologized.
He didn't make the joke again.
And then you're asking him to apologize again for this.
You, yo, we're all going to make bad jokes.
Everyone on this pod, anyone who tries to be funny, you will make a joke that hurts somebody at some point.
If you feel bad and you apologize, cool, done.
Now move on.
I'm not going to keep apologizing for this.
I've apologized.
I understand it was wrong, but you're going to just sit here and like flog me or whatever over and over because I fucked up once.
I've changed.
Give me that credit.
And if you don't, I'm going to start to resent you.
And that's what I think these people don't have the sense to know is these people, you're just creating more enemies.
You're not creating more love for the group people that you want to help.
Dave Chappelle Trans Controversy00:06:22
Yeah.
When you're exercised from society, you become radicalized.
Yes.
And then you get brought in by all the other group of people that have been exercising.
And that's how they get stronger.
And that's where Jesus keeps saying exercise.
Excise, yeah.
I think I meant to say exercise.
I think he kept saying excise.
Exercise.
No, I said exercise.
No, no, I said we pull it out.
I said exercise, dude.
I mean, look back at the chicken.
Expect the change.
You 1,000% exercise.
You said exercise.
I thought you meant like exorcism, and I was like, I guess that word about Al or me.
You meant to say ostracized.
I know, exercise, like a cyst.
Like, cut it out.
That's like a medical term.
Yeah.
I meant to say.
Nah, nah, nah.
You said ex-nah.
Now you're finishing it.
Yeah, no, no, you're excited.
You said exorcise.
You said exercise.
He's 1000%.
I'm not going to let y'all fucking shit all over Al and never me when words get fucked and then you say Texas.
Look at noodle hair.
What are you talking about?
He said, look, exercise.
Listen and fucking spaghetti breath only.
Camel hop, motherfucker.
Okay.
What else?
What else are we talking about?
So, I mean, he also had the trans joke that came out.
Do you want to touch on that?
Yo, the trans joke.
Yeah, we can watch it.
Those fucking dinosaurs.
No, I love the new women.
I know the new women.
They're great, aren't they?
You know, the new ones we've been seeing lately.
The ones with beards and cocks.
They're as good as gold.
I love them.
No, it's the old-fashioned way.
And now the old-fashioned, they're going to like, oh, they want to use our toilets.
Why shouldn't they use your toilets?
For ladies.
They are ladies.
Look at their pronouns.
What about this person isn't a lady?
Well, his penis.
Her penis, you fucking bigot.
What if he rapes me?
What if she rapes you?
You fucking turfed whore.
It's funny, objectively, from a joke writing standpoint, it's good.
Yeah, the interesting thing about this and like the way he positions it is that he's not saying the things.
He's basically having the online discussion in real time.
So he's like positioning the groups against each other as if they're having that discussion.
And it's kind of cool because it absolves him of any of the guilt.
This is what the trans community is saying.
This is what the people are saying.
And it is ridiculous when they're having that conversation because if you don't see trans people as what they say they feel they are, then it sounds ridiculous.
Yeah.
So yeah, I think he will catch some backlash.
I don't know why.
I don't know why it won't be as much as Chappelle.
I think he does a smart thing of playing the...
He kind of does the Colbert thing, but he does it to liberals.
You know, Colbert, back when he was funny, used to mock extreme conservatives and like play that character and then make them look kind of foolish.
That's what he's doing with extreme liberals.
Yeah.
He's like, well, it's her.
What if she rapes you?
Yeah, yeah.
You fucking bigot.
You idiot.
And it's like, he's playing that character, so it's harder to get mad at.
Because he's actually saying the right thing.
You just know what he really means, so fuck you.
Right, right.
But he's saying the right thing, so you can't.
It's clever, dude.
That's the thing.
Chappelle's anti-trans jokes weren't as clever to me as this.
I found this more clever.
This is also silly.
And he's great at that.
There's a difference when you're just being silly.
Yes.
Silly, absurdist, ridiculous.
And I felt like Chappelle was like, I'm going to teach these trans women once and for all.
Gender is a fact.
Not women.
That was like the conversation.
It was almost like, this is how you know.
Or you might have a struggle, but it's not like black people struggle.
So not only do I not believe you're women, I also don't believe that your struggle is that big a deal.
So if you are someone struggling through that, you're going, well, fuck this.
Do you think it's meant it that way or do you think it just came across?
I think it came across that way.
I don't know what Chappelle really means.
But if I'm a trans person, I can see how they might feel that way.
I can see trans people being upset at this too.
Oh, they are.
They're like, yo, you're mocking me.
They're like, I am a woman.
I'm curious what Daisy feels about it.
Because she's like, yo, I am a woman, and you're saying I'm not just because of these body parts, which 10 years ago seemed completely reasonable, which is what he said in the other bit.
Acknowledge like the irony in it.
Like, even though you believe that there's a certain now like cultural change, you can acknowledge oh, things were different back then.
Therefore, I even understand why it's funny.
You know what I mean.
Like that that's first joke that we played is harder to get upset at because his point is logical.
Yeah, he's just saying like oh, the discourse has changed and now there's a funny thing happening, like happening in language.
Yeah, so yeah, you know what it is.
It's like you understand bigotry much more as you have those people that are the victims of it in your friend group.
So what we're going through right now is like, what I imagine, right?
White people, I imagine white people were a little bit more casually racist, even the whites that didn't identify as racist, casually racist before black people were in their friend groups, right?
They were just saying things that were racist.
They didn't even know they were racist to even say.
And then you have a black dude enter the friend group and you see a black dude either get offended by that or see how they react to it or see them not live up to all those stereotypes that you thought were true.
And then you're like, oh, fuck.
Okay.
I got it.
And I feel like that's what we're doing now with trans.
We have this community who's like deeply offended, but very few people have trans friends in general.
Trans like 0.01% or whatever the hell it is.
So it's like, you don't even have a trans person to know how they feel about these certain things.
Having Daisy on was a wild experience for me because it was the first time I'm actually, well, maybe the second time, but I'm like sitting down with a trans person and going, oh, wow, they really do feel like they are a woman.
And it was convincing to me.
Yes.
So, and they are in this wrong body.
That was convincing.
Now, you know, they say sunlight is the greatest disinfectant.
For bigotry, I think exposure is the sunlight.
So exposure is what cleanses me of this thing that's bigotry.
Exposure to a trans person being like, yo, this kind of hurts my feelings when people say X, Y, and Z. You're like, oh, shit, my bad.
I didn't know.
Before I knew a trans person, these are just jokes.
Now I see it and I see how it hurts you.
And that's a different thing.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because you know it's playoff time, baby.
It's playoff time, okay?
Doctor Dreams and Skin Creams00:09:33
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Let's get back to the show.
Sunlight's the best disinfectant?
That's what they say.
I've never heard that.
That's a saying.
Sunlight is the greatest disinfectant.
I've never heard that.
I feel like we've said that on the show.
I've never heard that.
No, no, no, I've never heard that out there.
Sunlight is the best disinfectant.
Yeah.
That doesn't disinfect anything.
Saltwater.
What about Robotos?
Robots?
Hey, what can you say about these old, you know what I mean?
These old sayings.
That's only CAT with disinfectant.
He's not a doctor, bro.
You're not a doctor.
That's how you got to do it.
You're going to pre-med.
Look it up right now.
Come on, bro.
Sunlight is.
First of all, stop saying you're pre-med.
Everything's pre-med before you go to med school.
Yeah, are you pre-med?
I'm pre-med.
I take the MCAT.
I study business.
I'm pre-med.
You take the MCAT.
You failed the MCAT.
Bravo.
You can't fail the MCAT.
That's why I didn't.
Did you take it?
What was your score?
27.
What do you need to get into school?
34.
Get in with 27.
What?
34 or getting to Harvard?
Where are you going to medical school with a 27?
You can pee if you could be a DL.
You can't get into no fucking medical school.
My cousin got a 27.
Devine, you got to like Jamaica.
That's the divine.
Yeah, you go to Caribbean medical school.
Haven't you met one of those artists?
Get out of here.
Have you met one of those doctors that's like, yeah, man, I studied in Kingston?
You're like, yeah, sure you did.
You don't think I've been.
Are you trusting them?
That's where you learned the sunlight.
You can't even be a dentist with a 27.
I would have destroyed the DITs.
Bro, sunlight is the best disinfectant.
There's a quote in a place where they don't have disinfectants.
Oh, is that why it says sunlight is the best disinfectant?
Quote quote investigator.
That's the quote investigator.
Malaria, for instance, which is one of the most difficult things that contend with.
I didn't say it was a scientifically accurate quote.
I'm saying you.
I'm not going to lie.
Before he shit on it, it sounded fine.
It did.
That's true.
It really did.
Like, shine the light on it.
You know what I mean?
Like, it was really beautiful.
I think about a surgery that she gets infected.
You know what I mean?
Take a walk.
COVID.
COVID, vitamin D. There you go.
Eat my dick.
Okay.
Argue with Rogan.
Don't argue with me.
You know what I mean?
Nah, that is true, but it don't really disinfect.
Infect her now.
Plus that Sam Rogan.
No, no, no, no.
That's him.
I got him back.
I got him back, though.
I don't know.
I got him back.
That one.
You know how to get me on your side for sure.
But for real, though, keep saying trash quotes.
I'm sorry.
My quotes are too deep for you to know.
No, no, no.
That was a great quote.
Great quote.
But then Mark cut the legs out from under it.
But if you did get your legs cut off, there would be a great disinfectant that I recommend.
That was a hell back, man.
Hey, what can I say?
I know quotes from back in the day, you know?
Yeah, you got to.
Not a doctor, but I'm going to quote.
Have you heard about sunning your butthole?
That's a new thing.
People use this as like a medical thing where you go outside, you're supposed to put your ass in the sun, and apparently it gives you like energy.
Those weird ass facts.
That's a real thing.
Tucker Crossing documentaries.
You want to do that?
No, that's red light.
That's red light.
Red light.
You know it's weird.
That's season three.
Yeah, no, this is the real thing.
What is this sunning your butthole?
Yeah, perinium sunny.
Oh, now you trust Google all of a sudden.
But if your shit, Google, if it's .org, I trust it.
Okay.
You were talking about.com.
You are healthline.com, dickface?
Yeah.
Okay, no, this is government.
This is their different satellite one.
But yeah, this is perinium sunning.
Hey, Dove.
Tell me.
Can you ask Shube what a respectable MCAT score is?
You don't even know what a respectable score is?
A 25 is as mid as can be.
Really?
Yeah.
That's the 50%.
I think above age.
That's 50.
Like average to above average.
I don't believe it.
No, I don't think it's 50th.
I don't believe it.
I think he got below like a white score.
Can you look up the average white people score in the MCAT?
Go ahead.
I don't believe it.
If he got a good score to get in, you'd be in med school right now.
Yeah, I didn't say it was good enough to get in.
You just said it was good enough to get it.
You said you can get in.
My GPA wasn't good enough to get in.
Well, it's not just an MCAT.
Don't let this nurse.
No, no, hold on, hold on.
No, this is good.
So you fan pre-med.
GPA.
Those are the three feds, the two things: MCAT GPA, and then extracurriculars, which allow me to do that.
Yeah, everybody adjusted AC is like, oh, we got him.
I'm not going to let this nurse talk to you like that.
No.
I think this might be our first percentage.
27 is 60 percentile.
60?
You failed?
You did fail.
60th percentile.
Oh, I thought it was meaning in the highest 60 percent.
I said above average.
There you go.
I didn't say it was good.
Above average.
Slightly.
I said above average.
Barely above.
It's above, though.
It's above.
So you wouldn't have gotten into med school.
No, not with my GPA.
If I had a great GPA, I could have gotten some.
Do you think that you didn't get into med school because you believe dumb shit like light is the best?
That could have something to do with it.
That could have something to do with it.
You could use some sunlight, though.
You don't need sunlight, bro.
Yeah, you got to get disinfected.
Yeah, maybe disinfect that.
Facebook.
Real talk.
I need that.
I really, can you hit me off with something?
Something nice.
Oh.
There you go.
Did you just turn off all the lights in the studio?
This fucking guy, bro.
Go back to the hero shot.
We learned it.
Okay, so Akash has kind of like wiggled out of the because laughter is the best medicine.
That's why.
Ooh.
Technically, you are a doctor in a way.
Laughter is the best medicine.
You gotta tell your parents that.
I tell them that all the time.
They don't believe it.
If I had a diploma that said that, maybe they'd agree.
What did your mom say when you told her your MCAT score?
They didn't know.
You didn't even bother to tell them.
No, they don't know what it means.
They're just numbers.
Are you in or are you not?
That's what we need to know.
Your parents don't know what a good MCAT score is?
No.
Even though your uncle is a doctor.
Yeah, but he came from India, so he didn't have to take an MCATATATATAT.
We don't count that Indian doctor.
Take a board right now.
They're all driving Ubers right now in India.
No, they're coming here to be doctors.
Exactly.
You don't take the Indian doctors over there.
Yeah.
Yes, you do.
If you're a doctor in India, you don't get to transfer that shit over here.
You have to redo it over here.
No, no.
Yes, 100%.
You take the boards.
So you think the doctors from the Caribbean come back to medical school over here and then take the boards again?
I just think you're not right now.
I just take a motherfucking doctor.
Go ahead.
Not again.
Keep noting.
I understand exactly.
Listen, 27.
I just take the fucking Caribbean, all right?
Listen, men.
27.
27.
What's your SAT?
1020?
No, I got 1130.
I got 11:30.
Yeah, it was 1110 because I was 1140.
No, that's 1130.
I got 1130.
Mark got the highest score.
I'm 1240.
What was he 14?
He did a lot of tutoring, though, bro.
He took it like six times.
My parents paid for this.
Oh, no, I took all that tutorial and two just to get 1130.
Yeah, but his scores is like 2,400 by the time he took it.
Oh, yeah.
It was a super mid.
Inflation, bro.
Inflation.
It's inflation.
1240 is a white.
Indian 1240 is like a white 10.
Yo, but to be fair, you were trying to be a doctor.
I wasn't like trying to master SAT.
What medicine were you trying to do?
Whatever.
Okay.
Get my parents off my back practicing.
That's what I want.
Just be a doctor at all.
Yeah, that's the whole thing.
I would have done podiatry.
MCAT Scores and Inflation00:14:49
I don't give a fuck.
You would have done lip injections.
I feel it.
I feel your lip injection.
You feel me?
That weird feet shit, bro.
What?
That's your first go-to right there.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, why not fix your shit?
He needs it.
I would get you too.
Remember when your bunion was sticking out of the fucking city?
I would never let you and your fucking 27 touch my feet.
Never.
Never?
In the fucking camera, too?
Never in fucking life.
But your hand feet, you do definitely need some sort of adjustment.
I saw a guy that had hand feet.
Aren't you flat-footed?
What does that have to do with hands?
You got fat kid feet.
You're fat.
I know.
You have fat feet.
That's why you have hands.
How do you get my feet?
You can eat more fucking food with them.
How do you get my feet?
How do we know that they're not just arms?
And you're one of those Indians that wouldn't have even born with legs.
Oh, get it out.
I fucking got it.
You were there, though.
You were there, though.
Fuck.
I almost had it.
Okay, listen.
What else we got?
So, why do you got to go to Italy, by the way?
I have my honeymoon.
Oh, that's a decent point.
Because now you're going to Italy.
Yeah.
Now my girl's like, oh, where are we going?
I told you guys to book this already.
Yeah, I know.
And Akash, like a fucking piece of garbage.
What?
Books the week before.
Books the week before.
I go on the honeymoon.
I was like, let's all go on a vacation.
You actually didn't have that conversation with me.
That's not true.
Literally didn't with me either.
Yeah, that's 100%.
Who do you think is more likely to forget something and remember something?
I'm telling you, Tuff.
I found out about this honeymoon like baby two weeks ago.
I'm saying, no, That's actually not true because I texted the group the week off.
So everybody knew.
Nope.
Nope.
No?
Who's likely to tell everyone, hey, guys, don't work.
Who'd I text?
Who's likely to say that?
Was that me?
I don't know if you would say that.
Was that me?
Yeah, and you're not like booking last minute in the summertime.
It's comfortable.
It's not to be available.
It's time to book, bro.
Yeah, we are doing it currently.
Fuck me.
I swear to God, we had this conversation.
Who did I talk to about this then?
I think your girl.
No, because was it just you, Doug?
No, because we were talking about the two weeks off that everybody shuts down for.
I know, right?
I had no idea this was happening, son.
What?
I had no idea.
So, by the way, it's going through your heads is what I went through with you in the conversation.
So, the first week was Christmas.
We always shut down for Christmas.
Yes.
And then the second week was honeymoon.
Good to know now.
We always shut down for honeymoon.
Everybody knows it.
I figured we all take the vacation.
It's like Juneteenth.
It's a new holiday.
I got to keep this up then, honey.
You're going to have a new honeymoon next year.
Okay, I'll figure it out.
So basically, yeah, I figured we all take that week off.
Fuck, I thought everybody knew about this.
I figured I would take a different week off because I didn't know about your week off.
And it just happens to be the week before when we have to record all the podcasts to fill the week that we're not going to be here.
Yeah.
My wife has to be at her new internship that week that you start.
I'm sorry.
Did anybody ask that?
Anybody ask that?
You know what?
About your free work thing.
But we'll talk about making money out here, bro.
We're making money right now.
Yeah, you could have told us about the vacation, though.
I thought I did.
Okay.
Genuinely.
And now this is my girl's idea.
Now that you, I think I'm going to be away from you finally.
Maybe that's who he texted.
Your wife.
Yeah, I think.
And ripped it two weeks off the studio.
Who did I talk to about?
His wife.
Yeah, I think so.
Because she knows.
And now I think I'm going to get away from you.
Guess where she wants to go?
Scotland.
Oh, boy.
Damn, bro.
She's like, yeah, summertime.
Guess where I'm going?
Scotland.
Yo.
Summer vacation.
I don't know what happened, bro.
I'll be honest with y'all.
I don't know what happened.
But someone fucked up.
I don't know what happened between me booking a vacation and y'all not finding out.
But we got to figure out who fucked this up.
Yeah, we should.
We really do.
I think it was you.
I think it was.
I think it was you.
I think, I think so.
I think it wasn't me.
I know I told you, Duff.
So you didn't tell us?
You didn't tell us?
You didn't.
How long did you know?
Wow.
Because I booked two cocks those weeks.
How long did you know, Duff?
I'm still going to look this shit up right now.
It's in the calendar.
Dove.
Oh, wait, wait, how long did you do it?
It's in the calendar.
Andrew honeymoon.
You act like we get notifications.
I told your ass to tell everybody, didn't I?
Nope.
I told his ass to tell everybody.
No, that makes sense because everybody looks two months ahead in the calendar for notifications that might pop up they didn't know about.
Yeah.
Did you hear him talking about his honeymoon?
Yeah, blame me, kids.
It's okay.
June.
When am I doing it?
Who put it in the calendar?
Not me.
Who put it in the calendar?
Nobody, though.
No, it is in the calendar now.
But who put it in the calendar?
Who do you think?
What do you think?
Who do you think did that?
I think Duff.
Nope.
Yes.
Oh, Dove.
Where are you going that week?
Oh, so you had enough time to book something.
That's what you're saying.
You had enough time to book something.
I told him to tell all y'all.
No, it's 100%.
Where are you going?
He didn't.
And this is a.
If you're going to sell me out, I'm going to sell you out.
Please.
The thing that I'm going to say is.
Sell me out.
Sell out.
Sell me out.
I'm already sellout.
So I'm already sellout.
Well, now that I know that Akash already booked something, I got in a conversation where, like, I'm doing my trip at the end of July.
And then he's like, no, you're like, man, we're all here right now.
The end of July.
And I'm like, hold on.
You see this?
You see this?
Go at me right now.
Go to marry Matt.
You see this?
This is what we try.
We try so hard.
Everybody wants to take vacations.
Look at how many people are doing this.
We're in the whole goddamn studio.
And everybody wants to take a goddamn vacation.
You see this?
I'm not taking a vacation.
I'm taking a honeymoon.
That's mandatory.
No, I'm taking the vacation.
You think I want to do this?
Do you think I want to do this?
Yeah.
You're taking two weeks.
I went on half of my vacation that my friends are going on.
Oh, but that's not.
Oh, you're going to live a vacation that your friends are probably going to pay for.
Where are you going?
Where's it going?
Let's compare vacations.
I bet it that shit.
I dedicated that shit real fucking quick.
I was tight, bro.
He was like, well, we'll have to go on a different week because all my friends are going to go on this.
And I was like, I don't give a flying fuck.
I go, because his friends are in the business.
They represent clients too.
And I'm like, oh, oh, are their client schedules more important than your clients' schedules?
Oh, oh, what if it's their birthday?
That was terrible.
Go to the other room, son.
Go to the other room.
Go to the other calendar.
I'm high right now.
I've been high for two hours.
I'm very sorry.
What is high at work?
What's going on?
I had to admit it.
I just had to.
What if there's birthday?
That must be nice.
What if there's birthday birthday?
They were calling me out there.
Birthday.
That was fun.
Yeah, well, okay.
So, what about birthdays?
What if there is birthday?
Yeah, what is come on?
Can y'all answer the motherfucking question?
Who put it in the calendar?
You did.
I swear.
You did.
You did.
You're high on drugs.
Yeah.
You have no idea what's going on.
It's CBD.
Whoever put it in the calendar knew.
What are you saying?
Stop.
You said you were high.
On CBDs.
But the second I knew my schedule, I told him because I have to tell him for films and shit.
For example, he knew I was doing it because we had to make sure that I wasn't going to be doing the film.
Exactly.
So you knew all this stuff.
Stop acting like you didn't know it.
And you didn't tell them.
And I asked you to tell them.
I wish I also told you because I didn't know he was a ninkum poop.
Right?
Like, now that I know he's a ninkum poop, then I'm going to make sure I tell you all this shit.
What's worse?
What I did or what Akash did?
Because I didn't even do it.
What you did?
Don't do that.
Oh, I'm going to do it.
And I'm going to look you in the eyes when I do that.
I'm talking to both.
You're not correct.
Remember, we were wondering what karmically he did to lose his seat.
I do remember that.
Yeah.
I'm going Wednesday through Sunday.
I missed one.
Wait, record on Tuesday.
That's it.
You're a scoundrel.
We would have recorded one Tuesday, been out.
That's it.
How dare we take vacations?
I'm too far from you guys.
So, yeah, last week in July, where you going?
Oh, yeah, both of you.
You said I was going to take a trash vacation.
Let's compare vacations.
Come on.
Yeah, he's going to ride a fucking pontoon boat.
Take your shirt.
Take your shirt.
To the slums of Spain.
Who is?
You are?
Yeah.
Where are you going?
My shorty.
Guys.
Oh, am I known to take time off?
Honest question.
I mean, you missed a week a week ago.
That wasn't time off.
That was work.
That was time off the podcast.
I didn't say, am I known to take time off?
General vacations?
Like, just not work.
End of every year.
That's it.
But I'm not.
Yeah, but that's.
Miles, can you?
We don't want to.
We don't want to give this one.
Should I go to the back of the fucking campaign?
You're forcing us to try to.
And am I the idiot?
We just don't want to give you a point on this.
Am I known?
Do I ever am I known to not take time off?
Am I known to take off?
Hardest working man in show business.
I didn't say I was harder working.
I didn't say I was harder working than y'all.
I didn't say I was harder working than y'all.
Okay.
Many of you, yes.
But not, but I'm just not known to take just, oh, I'm going to take time off.
Is that correct?
Fair to say?
Yes or no?
Sure.
How can we not admit that?
We don't want to give you the point.
How can we not admit that?
What is this?
He just brought it up.
I just gave it to you.
What?
You interpreted sarcasm.
Wait, He's basically saying you guys don't deserve vacations.
That's how I'm reading it.
No, no, no, no.
Dove is our attorney.
Oh, yeah.
Can I tell you what the real thing with Dove is?
Dove.
He is like.
No, that was cool.
Listen, listen.
Listen.
Listen.
You're on drugs.
And what about birthday, Dove?
What about alcoholics?
Listen.
Can't do that.
I like it better.
Can I just have an honest conversation?
Yes.
Can we please have an honest conversation?
Okay.
Please say I'm the hardest working guy.
Can we?
No.
Can we just acknowledge what they're saying?
No, no, I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that, right?
You said it.
I'm not saying.
What I'm saying is I'm not looking to take time off.
Okay?
I have been forced to do such a thing.
Oh, wow.
By a spiteful wife.
You know what?
I'm going with that too.
Yeah.
Okay.
My wife has spite.
She has spite.
She has spite.
Boom, clap.
Boom.
T-clap.
Why are you blaming your wife for this, yo?
Because I'm pussy, bro.
I understand, man.
I'm excited for this vacation.
We're going to go to Venice, man.
We're going to go to a Malfi.
Yeah, we're going to go to Rome.
I'm very excited for this vacation.
What do you think?
What do you think his Instagram story looks like when he's there?
Be honest.
Oh, my shit.
What do you think is Instagram story?
He's going to look crazy.
All right, let's make some predictions.
Let's make some predictions.
Let's make some predictions.
First one, first one.
He's going to close the hotel window when he gets to wherever he's going, looking at the water or some shit.
Canal.
You know, canal's right out there.
I already planned that.
Does Guys die that?
I do that.
They're like, you got to stay.
You got to stop.
You're out, right?
Why are you like that?
My man never been on vacation.
He's going to Scott Dog.
He's going to take pictures on Father.
Come on, son.
Stop it.
You're going to pose that one?
Oh, you're going to have the one of like it's going to be a zoom.
You're going to ruin my honeymoon.
You see what he's doing?
He's going to ruin the joy.
Keep going.
Keep going, Mark.
Keep going.
You know what I'm saying?
Keep going.
Remember when he ran to the dinghy?
Remember he went to the dinghy and he put that shit in his close friend story.
He tried to flex like he did a little bit special.
Motherfucker was on a life rack.
He went tubing.
He went tubing.
It was like the taxi of the.
It wasn't even a taxi.
It was what they have on the side of the taxi in case shit went wrong.
Motherfuckers from the Titanic was still in the goddamn boat with him.
Women and children.
The fucking boat said women and children.
Holy case.
Eliana Gonzalez off that thing.
Can't do it like that.
There was African refugees on that boat that he had to tip them motherfuckers over.
You're a piece of jealous.
Okay?
Yeah, we're jealous.
He doesn't know how to, he doesn't know Dolcevita like me.
He doesn't know.
You do need to be aware of that.
That's going to be spelled out.
I called him before.
This is what he said to me.
He started venting to me.
That's why I was talking about I don't take vacations.
He started venting to me.
He goes, Here's the thing.
I'm working my ass off.
I'm fucking grinding.
I'm working to the bone.
I'm doing 10 different types of things.
He goes, You have to understand, like, I need my summers in Italy.
Like, I need like he said this to me.
Oh, my God.
And was serious?
Yeah, like, like, a dead serious, like, like, he looked me in the eyes and it was like, I need my summers in Italy.
Like, I need to be on the lake.
I need to take out my dinghy with a girl that won't fuck me.
I need to do these things, right?
And I just couldn't believe that it was coming out of his mouth.
I'll make it come out of my mouth again.
I need my summers in fucking Italy.
And I'm taking it.
Such a white bitch.
I just want to break the tension.
That's dope, but he doesn't have summers in Italy.
I know.
Yeah, enjoy Scotland, bro.
Hey, listen, I got mad love for the homeland of chicken.
Buck country summer in Scotland.
Just used to that's a diss, bro.
So charitable.
You go to Scotland, bro.
The Edinburgh Riviera.
Al, where are you from, Al?
What?
Oh, that got uncomfortable.
Yeah, where's the money?
I'm going to fuck out Puerto Rico.
Come on.
Yeah, Puerto Rico.
That's way better than Scotland.
Fuck out of here.
What are you talking about?
I guess you're fucking around.
He's going to drop a ball.
They had no electricity for a little bit.
How much I get paid?
I'm still wearing skirts and shit.
Fuck out of here, bro.
Oh, my God.
Oh, you're going to take a pic on the gondola for sure?
I told him not to, also.
Not for tourists.
100%.
Nah, I don't need no gondola.
Tourists.
Y'all really going to ruin my time?
Y'all going to ruin my time?
I can't be a hacky tourist for a little bit.
No.
You're going to get a damage.
Drinky drinking.
Oh, my God.
It's going to be.
I'm going to be on my vacation about to capture a moment and then just think of y'all laughing at me on the fucking hot.
This is house.
Well, I dig back and fuck you.
Yo, guys.
This every vacation.
He's going to drink and drink.
So he just has his phone up the entire time.
Pineapple Tourist Views00:02:13
Oh, my God.
And some time you lock streaming, but you don't know how to lock streaming.
So he just holds the button down in the story.
I mean, I know Al's not talking about stories.
I know you're not talking about doing calculations.
Yo, catch up.
Every time we're on the road, yo, yo, Mark, can you come take a picture of me on the beach with a pineapple?
Yo, yo, Mark.
Yo, Mark, let me just hold the pineapple like this.
Let me just get my ass.
I'm back.
Stop this.
His little thirst traps with his toes out every quarter.
He's another one of those, by the way.
He doesn't know what mushrooms write.
Al's story every time, bro.
Feet up, just like on a beach or some shit.
Just toes out.
We get it.
Every time we have a view of him, every time.
Okay.
You'd like that.
And then the monitor traction.
That's a view of me.
You don't need to know if he's shitting on you so hard.
He's doing you so hard.
You got a view of rats running by.
No, no, no.
He lives in a rat-free queen.
No rats.
Look at my group terrorists.
How'd he be cropping all the 300 other people in that book and you would have to look like just Alex Terra?
Two Japanese people.
Excuse me.
Listen.
Listen, fuck you all for ruining my vacation.
Nah, I'm looking forward to that shit.
Yeah.
To mine?
He's going to Venice, where they created Apple Spritz's.
That'll be the first fucking.
I only have that one.
Can you have that touch in?
You fucked it up.
I can't have nothing.
Were you going to do the two lay flats with you and your Brian on the other side?
Or you know on the way out there?
You know that pics of it.
What is that?
I'll be telling that shit.
Are we going to?
What?
Should I watch?
What is it?
Oh, yeah.
Anyone I could have lay flat?
Yeah, should I watch this much?
Yeah, yeah, Anytime, let me tell you something.
I know if Al's vacation is on the budget because I don't see no pictures.
If Al's doing anything nice, we all know about it.