Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect the White House's rejection of his WCD jokes, contrasting traditional comedy with modern transparency. They debate the ethics of sharing unfinished material versus waiting for polished specials, citing Schulz's "Gringo Poppy" release and his rejection of Showtime metrics in favor of direct YouTube control. The conversation also touches on controversial holiday comparisons, OnlyFans earnings, and Schulz's philosophy of ignoring online hate while promoting upcoming tour dates in Charlotte and Philadelphia. Ultimately, the episode highlights the shifting power dynamics where comedians now dictate their own distribution and narrative control. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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White House Dinner Jokes00:06:35
Insider info, everybody.
The White House actually reached out to me and asked me to host the White House correspondence dinner.
I accepted, obviously.
I sent them some of my jokes, but like Nancy Pelosi's eyes, they went in a different direction.
Now, I can't let these jokes go to waste.
So here we go.
The real White House correspondence dinner.
Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Biden is here, but he doesn't know that.
Biden's brain is as soft as a bowl of cum, or as Anderson Cooper calls it, brunch.
Does anyone here trust Biden's brain?
I have more faith Madison Cawthorne could win Dancing with the Stars.
Also, Cawthorne, stop bragging about how the Latino community supports you, okay?
They don't.
Mexicans just love a vegetable on a cart.
Speaking of vegetables, let's talk about someone who's got hips like a turnip.
Trump, he missed his fifth correspondence dinner in a row.
Did someone tell him it was Tiffany's birthday?
Hunter Biden also couldn't make it.
It was date night with his dead brother's wife.
America hasn't had a hunter this shitty since Dick Cheney.
But forget who didn't show up, okay?
Ladies and gentlemen, we have future president Ron DeSantis here.
Give it up for Ron.
Ron, you look like Bradley Cooper if the limitless pill was wrapped in bacon.
Ron signed the don't say gay bill.
So Florida kids are going to have to learn about homosexuality the old-fashioned way by watching CNN.
CNN is gay, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, between Lemon, Cuomo, Selter, and Cooper, CNN is taking more prep than an Asian kid studying for the SAPs.
Jesus.
But they're not the only biased ones in the building.
Fox News is here as well.
Fox's slogan is fair and balanced.
Sure.
The only Fox that's less balanced is Michael J. Everyone knows that Fox has a major slant.
And that's also what Tucker calls Andrew Yang.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, come on, Fox.
Fox leads.
Bro, come on.
Can I keep that in?
I mean, come on, guys.
Wait, wait, wait.
Give me a second.
I mean, come on, guys.
Fox leans further to the right than Stephen Hawkins' neck.
But guys, let's be serious for a minute, okay?
America is incredibly divided right now.
And sitting in this room are the most powerful and influential politicians and journalists in the world.
And if our goal is to stop the division and unite America, I think we can all agree that the best way to do that is to simply let the president leave and then drop a bomb on this dinner immediately.
Problem solved.
Yeah.
Wow.
I figured it out, guys.
Yeah, I figured it out.
I love it.
What's up, everybody?
And welcome to Flagrant 2.
Let's start this show.
Nice.
Why did they want you to do those jokes?
I don't know.
It's so stupid.
It's so weird.
It's so dumb, dude.
They asked about editing a couple.
Yeah.
Which one do you think?
Andrew Yang, maybe?
No, the Andrew Yang one, they were fine.
Oh, okay.
You're right.
You're right.
Andrew Yang was totally fine.
They were like, yeah, yeah, they're racist over there, Fox News.
But it was the Hunter Biden's dead brother's wife.
The factual one.
Yeah, the factual one.
Yeah, yeah, the literal thing that's happening.
Yeah, they really protect that kid, huh?
Yeah, oh, yeah.
Maybe next year you can host it.
We'll say again.
Maybe next year you can host it.
You know what?
I don't want to host it.
I don't want your stupid correspondence dinner.
You know?
Why?
No.
I don't know.
Just trying to have a fun day in the beginning.
It's such a fun honor.
No, no.
Honestly, it would be really cool.
I love the idea.
And I thought Trevor had some great jobs.
I thought he was good, man.
We always are going to want something a little edgier, but I thought he did great for what he did.
They're not going to let you do anything edgy in that circumstance.
But there were a couple jokes that were really fucking biting and embarrassing for the people in the room.
Oh, he had one against Biden, though, something like, yeah, everybody was so appalled when he said Putin should be removed from power.
And then they remember that nothing Biden wants actually gets done.
Gets done.
That was great.
Bang.
Even the Tubin thing going right in at Tubin.
Yeah, Tuban.
At a circular table surrounded by all of his friends, and he's just praying that they don't mention it.
Yeah.
I was impressed with Trevor Noah.
Yeah, I thought it was good.
I'm happy that they even did it.
Like, considering the last however many years, Trump was like, Yeah, no, we're not doing it.
It also exposes what a pussy Trump is.
Like, dude, stand up there and take your fucking shots like a man.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then come back and fire at the end.
That's it.
And you have the last laugh.
Yes.
Like, Biden went up there and he had a couple zingers.
The Brandon joke I thought was great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He had that one joke.
You know, the Republicans aren't doing bad.
There's one guy over there that seems to be doing great.
This guy named Brandon.
And it was really good.
It was like a funny bit.
But like, yo, stand up there and do it.
And every president should.
And it's a great example of no, like, oh, functional democracy works.
No, it's a great example of humility.
Right.
It's like nice that this is how you don't get tyrants.
Every year, you get made fun of and humiliated publicly in front of all the people that you care about and the whole world.
And it's all in good fun.
And it's all in good fun.
Everything's cool, but the jokes kind of operate in reality.
You know what could make it easier for Republican presidents if the comedian hosting was openly conservative.
Like Trevor Noah, we all pretty much know where he stands on the issues.
So if he's roasting a Democratic president, it's like someone who loves you making fun of you.
If Crowder is roasting Trump, now it's on Crowder too to fucking go hard and not hold back.
But then it's like, oh, it's just a guy who likes me also teasing me and I get to tease him back.
I think it hurts or it annoys you more, it bothers you more if it's a guy that you know doesn't like you taking fucking shots.
Because you get to choose if this is going to happen because he did.
Trump did the Comedy Central roast, which was great.
Yeah.
And it was more hardcore and he put up with it.
So it was weird.
He just didn't want to give the power to the Democrats that he knew were probably awesome.
And let's be honest, every correspondence host, you know how they're going to vote, which is why a guy like you would be great at it because you're a moderate guy.
Yeah.
So you just give it to both sides equally.
But if it's like, if Trump got a guy that he knows probably voted for him and then they take fucking shots, now the comedian better go hard and be soft.
You got to do it.
You got to do it because then you're going to be president.
And so that's true.
You can be on both sides.
Holiday Roast Dynamics00:08:00
That's true.
Fine.
I'll do it one year before I'm president.
There you go.
I love it.
That's a great, yeah.
That's where you announce it.
Just like Trump.
And then you set it up, have some callbacks for the next year.
Bake in jokes that don't pay off until a year later.
Fired.
Oh, you're inaugurated for a whole year.
Man, they just think I'm having Biden brain.
Talking about it up there, finish the joke a year.
I told you I was going to be back up here.
Oh, that'd be fire.
Yeah, I just love the idea.
I think it's so cool.
I don't know who else does this.
I don't know if there's other countries that do this.
I'm sure there are.
I'm sure we're not the only ones.
But they say it happened in fucking Russia.
You know what I mean?
Like Antibadan in North Korea.
It's not happening in Iran, Saudi Arabia.
And yeah, it's just an awesome tradition.
And we should keep this going.
This is fucking great.
Anytime that we can publicly humiliate elected officials, we should do it.
Yeah.
You get everything you want and run everything you want and fuck everybody over basically for 364 and a half days a year.
One night.
One day of comment.
One night.
We get to say something to you.
This Christmas.
It's Christmas Eve.
This is our Christmas.
Yeah.
Like, oh, phenomenal.
Yeah.
Comics are the most important.
Yeah.
We shape the world.
Nobody's better than us.
Bastion of Free Speech.
Yeah.
I just think it's what a great tradition.
I think it's fun.
Yeah, man.
That is a great.
That is a great thing.
Yeah.
Do we have the best traditions?
Thanksgiving, fire.
Fire.
Christmas, nobody did that before us.
We don't have Carney Valle though.
Say what?
We don't have Carney Valley.
Yeah, we do.
Nah.
Not like Brazil, not like Trinidad.
We got New Orleans or whatever.
Marty Gras.
They got Carney Valley.
We got Marty Gras.
Way more titties in our shit.
I don't know about that.
Way more titties.
They got more flowers and shit.
We ain't got that many celebrations.
Bro, the trade-off, the fact that inflation hasn't affected beads, it's still one set of beads, two sets of tits.
I don't know.
I feel the girls want more beads.
Two tits.
Yeah.
I feel like girls want more beads.
I mean, I haven't been to Mardi Gras.
Word?
I feel like it's going up.
Nah, they be showing them.
They show them for a set of beads.
Like, whoever invented it.
People are like, oh, my God, crypto.
It means nothing.
There's been shit that's worth nothing that got you things before.
Title, bro.
Titcoin.
That's it.
Let's go.
Real talk.
If a Mardi Gras has like mad floppy tits and shit like that, you go to like Carnival.
Women are fine.
It's disgusting the way you choke on women's body.
Because they're hungry, Al.
Okay?
And they eat like Zion Williamson out of New Orleans, walking around 300 pounds, 254 foaming on the basketball court.
But yeah, nah, we got fire traditions.
July 4th, sick.
Fireworks fire.
Fireworks fire.
Also, black people, Juneteenth, gonna be lit once you get black about it.
Oh, what you mean?
Y'all make shit cool, dude.
He might be on a sound.
You just started Juneteenth.
It's French.
It's fresh.
But give black people 10 years on Juneteenth?
That's going to be the most lit holiday.
Forget it.
Son.
I still don't know what date it is.
I don't know what date.
Son, it's 15th.
It's 18.
It's 18.
It's not 18th.
It's the 18th of 19th.
It's 19th.
It's 19th.
Nah, he got a rough time.
He got a rough tube, bro.
He had a bad row too.
The first time he was early.
Oh, fuck that.
But it's because it's not hot enough.
But once black people make Juneteenth a black holiday.
I'm so eager about it that I was talking about.
It's every day.
Juneteenth is every time, every day.
All I'm trying to say is holidays.
If you want to go pound for pound, American holidays versus any other country, they celebrate our shit.
They celebrate Valentine's Day in other places.
They celebrate Halloween in other places.
We ain't celebrating no French shit.
No one else celebrates July 4th.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Mark.
Don't be sorry about that.
I'm sorry, Mark.
What do you mean they don't celebrate July 4th?
No, I was in Japan on July 4th and they didn't celebrate.
What day do they celebrate?
Payback Day?
What do they do for that?
Do they do a little dance for Payback Day?
They ain't talking about Godzilla.
He's not talking about anything.
Hell yeah.
Gotcha.
I'm just saying, guys.
I'm just saying.
We got the most fire holidays.
I'm going to go so far as to say, I don't know.
Actually, actually, and I can't believe you haven't spoken up.
Holy?
Fire.
Oh, I've been waiting to say that.
He was waiting to say that.
I just reminded you about that.
I had to put you on games.
Your own shit.
He said, speaking of which, I don't know how you haven't spoken up.
I said, holy.
I was waiting in the cut.
You got that, bro.
Yo, I might have to take credit for that.
The British made that.
No, so not the British inventory.
How did the British make that fire?
Son, they brought color.
Y'all didn't have color yet.
It was black and white.
It wasn't a black.
The British had nothing before.
They didn't have spices.
What do they have?
They still ain't got spices.
Have you seen a British person?
They still don't have color.
Pay all my family.
You all say that shit.
You're like, oh, they took everything from us.
Not everything, bro.
They took very fast.
You probably came for spices and don't even put them in your food?
Son.
Oh, gosh, when is holy?
Overrated.
When is holy?
Yeah, when day is holy.
It's a lunar calendar, so it's always different.
Don't give me a shit.
Shout out.
Give me a shot.
We're talking about periods.
We're not talking about your period right now.
We're talking about holy.
When is holy, bro?
It's a different time every year.
Looks like it's a long time ago.
So is he last year?
So is Valentine's.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
Valentine's a different one every year.
Valentine's is Thursday every year.
Come on, sorry.
It's your girl's birthday.
I thought that should be switching too.
I was like, this chick is Aquarius.
I think we'll be doing on the Aquarius calendar, dude.
Nah, for real, bro.
Is it Valentine's Thursday every year?
No.
It's Thanksgiving, bro.
Are you sure?
Nah, Thursday is Thanksgiving every year, too.
There's certain holidays that they rep the day.
They don't rep the month.
Ramadan, Eud Mubarak, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
He's got a lot of money.
Fake ass Muslims here.
Fake-ass Muslims been eating the whole fucking time.
Yeah, you've been you.
You've been eating the whole time, fucking white girls, eating the whole time, haven't even fasted once.
Yeah, put the camera on him.
Put the camera on me.
This piece of shit got a hat white.
He got a fresh shave.
All that pork.
He got a fresh shave like he's been growing out his beard for fucking Ramadan.
Bullshit.
Bullshit.
All I'm trying to say is best holidays on the motherfucking planet.
America holy is straight flames.
Holies flames.
Diwali fun.
Holies fun.
I don't know Diwali as well.
We'd be lighting shit.
We'd be having fireworks.
I need to go to experience it.
Yeah, that was a good idea.
That's my references right there.
I went to Lent too.
Yeah, yeah.
Brazil got Carnival.
It also got a fire New Year's.
Where they dress up in white, they're in the beach and shit like that.
But it's just tan people in white is fire.
But even DJ Khaled looked like a snack in some white.
You know what I'm saying?
Why do you think black people always throw all white parts?
I ain't gonna throw it, bro.
So we kill that shit.
Oh, boy.
If the Backstreet Boys were black, bro, remember when they were the all-white suits in the wind?
Yes.
Gone.
They would have been bigger.
Man, what?
Oh, they would have been even bigger.
I was like, how'd you get Asian?
Yeah, man.
I think we need to put some respect put on us for our ability to create holidays.
Yeah.
If you're going to celebrate our holidays, don't talk that shit about us during the rest of the year.
But you should get more days off.
Super Bowl Monday should be a holiday, a day off.
Talk that shit.
The NFL draft, give people time off.
Don't just party in Vegas, expect them to show up to work the next day.
Time off.
You need time off.
If we're going to be partying all night, we're going to need that Monday.
100%.
Super Bowl Monday in particular.
That shit don't apply to none of y'all.
Yeah, I was just a starters just throwing a starter there.
Everybody want to have a Monday off.
Martin Luther King ain't take no days off.
Yeah, no.
He got some days.
But he had some back pop.
I thought he was working.
Super Bowl Monday Off00:14:29
I don't know.
That's what he told his wife.
Al try to kill himself.
Al try to kill himself today.
But I respect the jokes because the jokes matter more.
We are comedians.
We're shaping the world.
All jokes matter.
All of them.
Okay?
Come on, man.
We need to dress in white, dude.
Yes.
But not.
Wait.
Wait.
Come on, Mark.
Why'd you do that?
Why'd you fucking do that?
Wait, you've got a point.
I'm not just talking about the hood.
All right, guys.
We have a very special guest we're bringing in today, right now.
So without further ado, give it up for my brother, Brendan motherfucking Shaw is in the bail day.
Hey!
We're here with Brendan Shaub, everybody.
The boys.
What's up, baby?
Cheers, brother.
Cheers, cheers, cheers.
You know, it's really interesting.
Shaw told me before the podcast that they has a gift for me for the wedding.
Oh, that's so nice.
Dude, I mean, listen.
Dub still hasn't given me a gift, and I see him every single day.
Shaub has a control?
Shaub has a gift for him.
I have a gift for him.
I've had it for eight weeks.
Also, Shaub got invited.
All you got to do is got to say, I have one.
You had time.
Shaub got invited the day before the wedding.
I think he's about to give him the gift.
I don't think he's going to say, I have a gift.
No, he doesn't have it here.
Here's where he gets an actual.
Oh, fuck, man.
Are we making content or not?
I know.
I fucked up.
I have the gift for it.
I've had it for eight weeks.
Now, you know, I'm a sneakerhead.
And so I, and I know, I know in Jordan 1s, that's also my favorite shoe of all time, the Jordan 1.
Yeah.
Mids or here we go.
Yep.
So I have to source these.
And they're not.
I have to source these.
And they're not easy to find.
So I get the Jordan 1 Union LA edition.
Yeah.
That's why I asked for your shoe size.
Remember that?
A hot second ago.
I don't remember that.
It was after your wedding.
I was like, yo, dog, what size shoe are you?
And you're like, why?
What are you?
And you, I, he's like, what do you want?
You know my dick size?
I'm like, whoa, whoa, just trying to get it.
I was just so used to my friends not giving me gifts.
I didn't assume that you're asking me.
I know.
I gave you a cryptocurrency that tanked very quickly.
But is it down to zero?
Not yet.
Crypto's tough, right?
Yeah.
But it was the intention.
You're a fucking asshole.
Just give me that and Bitcoin.
Why are you giving me this like off-currency thinking it might make it?
I thought it would have a bigger return.
Beginning or edge coin.
I gave you a huge.
Shut the fuck up.
You don't talk about this.
You've given me nothing.
All I got to say is his fucking stock is down.
You still have hope for my gift.
It's only be positive.
It's still worth thousands more than your zero.
Can I tell you something?
Can I say one thing?
This is very interesting.
You don't have to.
I started helping Dub with my gift.
Wait, what?
You give him ideas?
No, no, no.
Like, yeah, I have a good idea pop in because now it's more just about you not looking like a scumbag to my wife.
So I go, Dove.
I got a good idea for the gift you're supposed to give me.
I'm helping him execute a gift to me to redeem it.
You still haven't done it.
Yeah, and you still haven't done it.
You know what?
I thought your idea was mid.
Oh, at this point, I'm grateful.
Double down.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Don't get shit everywhere.
My idea is fire.
It's in the streets.
The best restaurant in the world is coming to New York for a pop-up for a week.
That's a mid idea.
The best restaurant in the world.
For his wife, that's a mid idea.
Tickets sold the meals or whatever, the reservations sold out within the first minute.
That's crazy.
It's called Noma.
It's originally, I think, in Copenhagen.
Copenhagen.
And they're here for a week.
So it's completely sold out.
The truffle can make that shit happen.
I'm like, yo, this would be fire.
It's not too expensive, but the thought is super valuable.
This is what's so crazy that he doesn't understand.
What?
And I was actually, I'll make fun of myself.
Yeah.
I'm the one who saw the post about this actually coming to New York, and I just sent it to your girl saying, look, what's coming?
Instead of saying, shit, that would have been a fucking race.
Why don't you still get it?
Because they don't have it.
And I'm like trying to nudge him towards it now.
Even now.
Even now.
I'm trying to nudge him towards it.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's crazy.
At this point, he doesn't want to do it.
I get a better feeling.
I don't like to just skim past my gift, though, dude.
Yeah, they ain't here.
Yeah, where's the gift?
Where is your fucking idea?
It's not an idea.
It's in my class.
Yes, in the box, Doug.
And it's also a pretty good investment.
But on your crypto, I hate to be shitty.
And tell me which one.
The Union Jordan LA.
It's the Lenny Kravitz Jordan.
That's what it is.
That's a good idea.
Champagne by Lenny Kravitz.
One of the best channels in the game.
Mark, please.
Goddamn everything.
But as far as those union, the LA editions?
Yeah, but if you don't money, what the fuck?
With yellow laces, hold on one second.
How are you just going to sneak in?
Lenny Kravitz got a dick on him and you didn't comment.
Who said that?
I did.
That guy.
Wait, does he?
Yeah, yeah.
Big piece?
Dude, he's doing a concert in leather pants.
No one.
Look at the size down.
What are you, size?
12?
Go bring up size 12 on Stock X on those.
Let's see.
Union is all about to get great show in a skateboard shop in LA.
They always do the best collabs.
You put the yellow laces in.
Those are the best Jordan ones you can get, Doug.
I'll be honest, keep them shits, bro.
Really?
Really?
I'm off the joints.
I'm a jump now.
I'm off the Jordan's shit.
Punches Chance Whiskey Baby!
He's a bad guy!
He's a bad guy, sick!
You're a bad guy.
Bro, you got me that for my wedding?
How could you?
Bro, you're in Marty Mystery.
I thought you had money, dog.
I get trying to be humble and all that, but those?
Hold on, we got to see what you're wearing.
Oh, the concept Air Max 1 Clab.
What concept?
What concept?
That run out of material.
That's Boston.
Huh?
It's a store in Boston.
No, if there's one place that no sneakers, it's Boston.
Yeah, in style.
You're not going to run fast enough to see it.
These are way better than those, buddy.
Boston can't even have a marathon without 300.
Those are like 40.
Yo, these on Stock Expert?
The Martyrs.
Put that shit up right here.
Put that shit up right here.
You can't find them on StockX because they're in the store.
Yeah.
No, you don't need to go to StockX for these.
These are available.
Yeah, you go to Kohl's and get those.
I mean, congrats.
What's Kohl's?
Yeah, they're all.
Oh, you got to throw the New York jokes in.
What's their version of Kole?
Wait, TJ Man.
Explain it.
Is it TJ Man?
Jimmy Gaz.
These?
Nah, they're kind of hard.
Zoomies.
Those are objectively.
The ones that you showed me before, they weren't bad.
These disrespect those.
Those weren't bad.
Those weren't bad.
And you would win.
These are awful.
I mean that sincerely.
Those are one of the ugliest sneakers I've ever seen in my entire life.
I'm going to be honest.
He does.
No, no, no, no.
Can you compliment one thing you're shitting on?
That's off.
Can I just take it off?
Can you shake it off for a second?
I should have put the alternate laces in them.
Here's the thing.
No, no, no.
Now he's insecure.
It's the laces.
It's the laces.
No, these.
No, these are fire, dude.
Here's the thing.
These are the coolest sneaker I've ever seen.
Who wore these?
Did Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wear these?
Is that what they made them reference?
Is that what it is?
You're better than that.
Bro, look at your pants right now.
Dude, are you talking?
I know what you're thinking.
That's the best part of them.
Yours don't either.
I love that part.
Oh, you like that?
I like that.
Here's the thing.
I would take off.
The rest of them know.
I would take offense to you hating on shoes if you weren't wearing basic converse, dude.
Yo, sometimes, listen, I'll be honest with you.
You go high.
It's too much.
You go high to low, bro.
It's too much.
You know what I mean?
Like, if I got something nice up here, then I'm going to be simple down right now.
Because it's a little bit more.
What does this say?
You know what this says?
What does that say?
When you look at the ear maxes, the ones, you know, just say an old shoe.
So for them to revamp it and put their flare on it.
The Woodstock fucking 60s flare with the flannel.
You don't know.
Did you just say flannel?
Yo, they have flannel.
They have everything on it.
That's the problem.
Yeah, Donald.
The current bandana pattern is literally the pattern of your jacket right now.
Oh, right there.
Oh, yeah, they're sick now.
That was the thing I didn't notice about them.
They're absolutely amazing right here.
You don't think they're a little confusing?
Like, objectively.
That's what I like.
See, like, if you saw them on, if you just saw someone else wearing them, what would you think?
How much?
How much?
What size do you want?
How much?
How much?
Size 12?
How much did you waste?
To your point, you know.
So I get these are these are cool and people think these are cool.
Sure.
But to your point, you're crazy on top.
It's me and you on a beach.
And I show up in these.
Yeah.
What do you do?
Suck your dick.
That's not how you do it.
That is fucking sick.
The sickest part is the label.
It's like the Mexican wristbands that you get.
The little bracelets that they're going to be.
That's why he got it.
Wait, why do you sound it?
At the top, where it says concept?
Where it says concept in the crazy colors?
Yeah.
Throw back to that 70s time.
There's camo on there.
Certain things need to get left behind, bro.
Like, there's a whole story.
You need to revamp everything.
You know what I mean?
Like, this, honestly, this is not as bad as slavery, but there's certain things that need to get left in the past.
This is not.
And it doesn't get the white chucks.
Bro, these around forever, bro.
Around forever.
You in this outfit right here with these?
Honestly, you want to put this on?
What do you want?
These are 12.
It's your mid tight fit.
I'm going to stretch your shoe out.
No, that's how I want you to do that.
What's up?
He's dead.
He's dead.
Now you look at this foot fetish.
Yeah, yeah.
Just keep doing socks up.
You just wear white socks.
Let me see them toes, dog.
Are you coughing up feet on the Graham yet or what?
Nah, man.
You got good feet?
I mean, you know, dude, feet.
My middle toe feet.
Get out of here, bro.
You're not even in the combo, bro.
I mean, middle toe longer?
I don't think I started OnlyFans with my feet.
Is it true that Cat really makes tons of money on OnlyFans?
Yeah, she's quitting firing the kid because of it.
She makes it.
So much money, yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, how much is she making on OnlyFans?
It depends.
What's a lot of money to you guys in here?
If you're making a six-figure show, I don't know.
I thought you were doing well when you showed up in those shoes.
I don't know anybody.
I thought you were clear.
Did he just try to insult us?
He just tried to insult us.
He's only great ideas.
I'm on OnlyFans right now.
Did he decide to shit on us?
How dare he try to shit on us?
No, no, I'll be honest.
That's a lot of money.
All right, whatever you guys are doing.
It's a lot of money no matter who you are.
I'll tell you right now.
She makes over $100,000 a month.
What?
And she was still working?
Are the feet that crazy?
Her feet, her body, like she's a pretty girl.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought the feet was the thing, though.
Start with just the feet, and then, you know, you got to give the audience what they want.
And has she been showing coochie?
No, no, no, no.
I think just like lingerie type shit.
She has a man, but you know, she does her thing.
She's crushing it.
She was like, hey, man, I was like, I get it.
Good for you, Kat.
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Affordable Hair Treatments00:04:20
The man thing is weird, though.
I can't.
If your girl was like doing that?
No, I can't.
I couldn't do it.
Me personally.
I couldn't do it.
Think how crazy the feet are for a second, though.
That might keep you in for a while.
That's all I'm thinking about.
That's all I'm thinking about right now.
I think I have a great gift for one subscription to cats and only fans.
You don't have those in the union ones, son of a bitch.
Keep the union ones.
Give me two years' subscription to cat.
$25.
What is it?
$25?
I'm going to pay the sub.
I don't know.
I don't know.
OnlyFans.
I've never seen her shit either.
Yeah.
I swear in my life.
I've never seen her.
The pictures.
She didn't come in in a California podcast.
She never wore sandals once and you look down?
I don't think so, dude.
She always wished.
She wears jokes sneakers.
And I'm telling you that.
I'm going to tell you that.
You got to pay for it.
Yeah, she's smart.
She's smart.
You never got curious about her feet?
Yeah, hell yeah.
$100,000 a month.
You're not looking.
I'm not a foot guy.
Dying to know.
I'm not a foot guy.
I'm not a foot guy.
$100,000 a month.
If you have football, it's an issue.
As long as you have five toes, I'm in.
Even four, I don't give a fuck.
Unless there's something weird.
She has Simpson feet.
That would be fire, dude.
A normal foot, but just four digits.
I didn't know she was going to be able to do it.
That would be big.
Well, Simpson has only got four.
Yeah, that would be worth the money.
You have pictures up there.
Yeah, they have three.
Can you pull up the feet, though?
No, Not unless we're paying.
You know what I mean?
Like, we definitely got to pay for it.
She's doing something, right?
You think I'm already not subscribed?
Wait, really?
No.
What do you mean, really?
Yo, I think that this show should have an OnlyFans budget, and I think that we should move around a couple hundred dollars a month for a different OnlyFans.
A couple hundred a month.
Like, who's the only one?
Who's crush on OnlyFans?
There's a lot of accounts, yo.
Like, who's crush on OnlyFans?
Like, Bad Baby made $52 million.
$50 million.
Is she number one?
She's the biggest?
I don't know.
I mean, who's probably some other girl?
$50 million a fucking year.
That's insane.
I think Black China made more.
I think Taiga made more.
Tyga was making crazy at the dick out.
Yeah, Hog.
Yeah, I saw that big.
Big army in the building.
And you out here selling whiskey.
Yeah.
Black China made 20 million per month in 2021.
According to this website, is that real?
There's no way.
That's what this says.
There's just no way.
20 million in one month.
It had to happen one month.
I think it's their highest month.
It's still 20 million.
Bro, talk about a come up.
That fucking bad.
Bad baby.
Bad baby.
Dude, like Bobby without the R.
It's pronounced Bad Baby.
Bad Baby.
Do we have something to throw a dove and he just derails for no reason?
I thought I was.
I thought I was right here.
Oh, my God.
That was a gap.
That makes sense.
It's Bad Baby.
Bad Baby?
But really, not spelled right.
She spells it different to be different.
Wait, Alex, are you saying that you're not familiar with people in hip-hop misspelling things on purpose?
She's not a hip-hop.
She's literally a rapper.
She's literally the best female rapper of her generation.
We don't take her pop.
We don't take her.
Al?
She's an OnlyFans girl.
Al.
She's an OnlyFans girl.
Al, she's a platinum recording artist.
Is she?
Is she platinum?
She went platinum.
That's not fat.
Mark, please look it up.
With her fan base.
Fuck.
Dude, talk about a come up, dude.
Yeah.
From fucking Dr. Phil from Dr. Phil, Catch Man Outside to 50 Million.
She's got two Platinum records.
Two Platinum.
Sorry, I was wrong.
Not one.
Two.
Yeah, left tit, right tit.
Those are her.
Al, she just turned 18.
Yeah, yeah.
And she doesn't.
So y'all talking about she making 50 mil?
That's all I'm saying is 50 mil.
I wasn't talking about it.
How'd you know?
How'd you know she made 50 miles?
How do you know she had ticks?
How do you know she got tits?
You were just 12 pans.
Oh, yeah.
She's a kid.
Oh, so we weren't.
And we weren't all just looking at that.
Nah, everybody's getting under the bus.
She's a kid.
You would drool in this guy.
I know Jewel was.
You went off to the corner, started dragging off and showing, it's crazy.
She's a child.
Okay.
She's doing lots of crap.
She's making bread and sneakers every single day.
She's doing everything she fucking can to get by as a child.
Okay?
Yeah.
We're not going to talk about it.
Just for the record, I thought we were talking about Bad Bunny.
I want to be very clear.
His OnlyFans is wild, bro.
Lit.
Yeah.
50 mil, dude.
You're not getting money over there.
Hey, you're not getting money over there, bro.
I'm not.
I'm not that taxed.
Oh, I thought she was getting money over there.
Get that.
Come on, bro.
Come on.
Your shoes threw me for a lube, dude.
Yeah, I got to do that.
I got to switch it up on you a little bit.
I'm just saying, bad money making real money, dude.
Child Hustle Reality00:15:24
Bad money.
It's a great name, though.
Hey, hey, guys.
Hey, hey, guys.
Count us, guys.
It is what it is.
It's rubbing off of me.
I can't fucking speak with this guy around.
Okay.
Show up.
Talk to us, man.
You are here.
You have a special that's out right now.
Gringo Poppy.
Yep.
I would be here regardless, but yeah, I'm here.
No, that's why you're here.
You ain't been here yet.
You're here just for that reason.
I mean, I'm here for that.
You would go right to Charlotte.
You have a family.
You want to spend time with your kids?
Facts.
You're not going to just come to New York for a week.
Carry on.
Okay.
Do you think that's going to be a good thing?
You're going to Latina wife.
She's going to let you come to New York for a week?
Nope.
Burn the house down.
Exactly.
Yep, carry on.
Okay.
Yep.
So you're here for one reason.
To spread the knowledge of this special around the world.
Correct.
Okay.
The Gringo Poppy on Gringo Boy YouTube.
Yep.
Thick Boy YouTube.
After putting out this special.
Yes, sir.
Which, before you go on, huge help to you guys, especially Akash and his team.
Like, he's been so much help, man.
Like, I can't thank you.
I'm glad to help.
Yeah, he's been great.
And you too, you came to the taping at the haha.
Not the taping, but I told you you were special and you came by.
You said to me, you're like, I'm doing this special.
I think he was going to be for Comedy Central or something at that point.
Some major network, yeah.
Right.
And so I was like, okay, I got to see this shit because I didn't want you to get into the same situation what happened with the showtime one.
Sure.
So I was like, I got to see it.
And as long as I saw improvement, that's what mattered the most to me.
Correct.
You know, and we were talking about this before, but for me, you're in this really precarious situation because it's like, first of all, how do you feel about the Showtime special?
We spoke about it.
The Showtime special?
Yeah.
In hindsight, like I...
Hindsight.
In hindsight, I wouldn't change anything.
Like, this is my path, right?
Like, that.
I'm not like that.
No, no, I'm with you.
I know where you're going with it.
In hindsight, I wouldn't change anything because it led me here and the stuff I learned from that special to everything.
But in hindsight, going back, and it's a common theme throughout my career in sports, you know, in the UFC, in the NFL, college football.
I wish I had someone with the perspective I have now that goes, whoa, dude, you've been doing two years?
Yeah.
What the fuck are you thinking?
Did nobody tell you?
You should do it to 10 until you're 10 years in.
Did nobody say that to you?
No, not really, because I think, I don't know.
You know, I don't know.
No one told me.
Nobody was like, yo, let me watch it or let me just, hey, man, it takes fucking, you can't cheat this game.
It takes fucking years to get to the point where you can do this.
Callen, a little bit, told me that and Delia a little bit, but it was more like, but if they're paying you, why don't you have an hour?
Like, why not?
You know, but I wish I had someone in my ear being like, dude, it's a, this comedy game, it's a marathon, not a race.
Yeah.
10 years in before you start finding your voice.
10 years in.
No matter how many sets you're getting, it's 10 years in.
You know, so I do wish somebody told me that.
Nothing can change about it.
So as long as you learn from that, which was a mistake, you learn from it, you grow, you put in the work, you put in the time.
And that's why with the special on YouTube, the Green Girl Poppy, like telling you, man, put in the work.
Put in the work.
There's only so much I can do.
And it's the best I can do, brother.
It's the best I can do.
And for what I do, it's pretty good for doing this short amount of time compared to 10 years or however long you've been doing 15 and 40.
So it's like, you know, but take this perspective, though, Schultze.
It's like, yeah, remember, I'm surrounded by monsters, man.
So, you know, one of my close friends, my brothers, Joe Rogan and Brian Callan, Chris DeLeon, Theo Vaughn, and Burt Kreischer.
So I want to be like them, man.
Those are my North Stars.
I want to be those guys.
But there's nothing I can, I don't have a time machine to go back and skip the UFC career and skip the NFL and get my experience.
And so I thought by getting the nod from Showtime that I'm just like you guys.
Yeah, you want to impress your peers.
Yes, that's all I want.
So it's like, yeah, in a way, it was to like, listen, there's so many obviously positives when you're being around in close proximity to great comics, right?
Because it's going to inspire you to be better at comedy.
You're going to grow to your surroundings.
And we're all like fucking goldfish, right?
You put a goldfish in a tiny little bowl.
It's all going to show you.
You see how the sausage is made.
Exactly.
But you also see how big it can get, how funny it can get, et cetera.
But I think one of the issues with that is that you don't have friends that are two-year comics that you're coming up with.
Correct.
Right?
Yeah.
And two-year comics are talking about two-year comic things.
Correct.
Oh, I made me want to do it at this time.
I want to do a late night or I want to do this.
None of them are going, yeah, I need to put out my hour special right now.
Correct.
Right.
So in retrospect, I mean, it's a great philosophy to go, oh, I don't regret this because I want to get, it got me to where I am now and I'm happy for where I am now.
That's a beautiful perspective.
It's the perspective you need to have on life.
You don't want to sit and do it.
But I also think it's also like, yep, you did that.
And if you watch that and then you watch now, you're like, holy shit, dude, this kid's working.
Yeah.
Well, that's what I, that's what I, when I came out there, I was like, I need to know that you've put in work because this means the world to me comedy, right?
So it's like, and I love you.
And I think that, you know, I was telling you this before, but like, I think that people don't know what a great guy you are.
And there's very few great guys in comedy.
And I mean this sincerely.
Like there are things that you do, they'll probably never see the light of day that are like intensely loyal.
Mind-boggling.
And kind.
And that is, you know, indicative of a person of like very high character.
And I appreciate that.
Oh, thank you.
And I'll always have your back because of it.
And that's why I came to see it.
Because what I judge you as is I judge you as a comic who's been doing it for now, what?
Seven years.
Seven years.
So I'm looking at seven years in.
I'm not going, okay, this guy is saying, I'm ready to have a special on YouTube.
I should be compared to Shane Gillis.
I should be compared to these people because those people are doing comedy ways.
I'm just talking Dylan or if you're looking at me and then going to Nate Bargatsky, it's like.
Right.
You know?
Right.
So I think that if that's the perspective and you're looking at like, like what you have is you have this group of fans that have loved you even before you did comedy.
Dude, they've been on the journey with me.
Remember, I was doing Fire and the Kid when I was fighting.
Firing Kid is almost 10 years old.
10 years old.
How long have you guys been doing this?
Yeah.
How long have you been?
Almost five.
Five.
Almost five years.
And then that was the first podcast?
Or did you have something on your own?
I did Brilliant Idiots with Charlamagne before.
And how long ago was that?
I don't know.
Good question.
So eight years, maybe.
So, you know, a while ago, Fire and Kid's 10 years old, dude.
So if you go back and listen to those older episodes, those first episodes, like, you know, that show is like, at the time, there's like Rogan.
There wasn't any competition.
It was like me, and I was a fighter at the time, but I wanted to be a stand-up comic.
And there's Brian, who's a stand-up comic.
So we had this dynamic back and forth.
So it's like they've seen where, and I was talking about, you know, my train camp and the fights on there.
So they've been the highs and lows with me, man.
Being a fan of mine when I was a fighter, even now, like, you know, it's a rough ride, man.
Especially as a fighter.
That's a rough fucking go, dude.
So, you know, I built that fung on there.
And then they've been on this journey now, but they've been with me where, you know, if you talk to any of my peers, whether it's Kreischer or Segur or Rogan, they'll go, don't post your Ferraris.
I'm like, no, no, I'm different than you, man.
You got to understand.
My fans were listening to me when I was making 14 grand to fight Noguer in Brazil and I lost.
And after taxpaying the managers, I hit eight grand.
And, you know, and I had a mortgage and my girl was pregnant.
So they've came up with me through this journey when I had fucking, you know, I know Rock's whole thing is $700.
Cool.
Your dad was a WWE legend.
I didn't have any of that, dude.
So they've been on this journey with me when I had fucking nothing.
And they also have been on a journey where I talked about going to my first open mic and then doing my first set the comedy store.
So they've gone on this crazy path with me, man.
Yeah.
Crazy path.
So a lot of times, like someone who's like a stand-up comedy traditionalist, they get into stand-up comedy and they're like, and this has changed now.
And, you know, you could say this is partly our fault, but like comics are sharing a lot more of their material, a lot this.
Completely your fault.
Fair enough.
Completely your fault.
The relationship between a comic and our material has transitioned.
Before it was something we hoard for years and then we put out the special and now it's our best marketing tool.
There's pressure to put content out, like to stay relevant, to stay in the race.
And I was talking to Rogan about this.
He doesn't have to do it.
He's at a certain level where he didn't come up that way.
Tell those guys, they don't have to do that.
You also get to a certain level of success where you don't need to do it as much.
But with us, it's like, especially where maybe you're the ringleader of this, but now it's like with stand-up, you have to have content out there.
Well, no, I'm specifically saying for you is different is that like your journey is in front of people.
It's almost like people are living this reality show with you, right?
Where it's like, you're not going like most people go, don't, friends and family, don't even see me for four years before I'm ready to go.
You're being transparent with your journey.
You're going, hey, this is me at this stage.
This is me at this stage.
This is me at this stage.
So I think it's cool.
Which is it is cool, but it's also your journey, which I know about you, which I support.
Yes, sir.
Right.
So a lot of people, they go, oh, when it's time for a special, this is the mess.
This is the mat.
This is my finished product.
I'm done.
Here it is.
You're going, hey, my journey is something I share with my fans.
Correct.
And I think that's dope.
And that's how I see you.
And I think that you'll get negative feedback from people that don't because they're giving you traditional stand-up comedy expectations.
Like they're watching like Tim Dylan and going over to me.
You know what I'm saying?
No, like they're going, oh, you shouldn't put this out because you have been doing comedy for 15 years.
Sure.
It's like, well, no, no, in 15 years, you'll put another one out.
Correct.
And in 10 years, maybe you'll put another one out.
And you'll ideally, if you keep working hard, continue to improve and get better, just like anything.
You do it with boxing, you do it with MMA, et cetera.
Do it with everything, yeah.
Exactly.
And there's only one way to do it.
Which is grinding, doing the work.
And that's why I think Andrew's willing to help you.
Why I always want to help you is, this is like religious for us.
I'm a religious guy.
Stand-up is a second faith for me.
Sure, and I don't need you to be the best disciple of the faith, but I need to make sure you're devoted to the faith, and when I see you're growing, it's like bet, you're in there, you're grinding.
What can I help you with?
Yeah, how much I can help you, i'll give you my, my reason.
So you know I love you guys.
Man yeah, appreciate you.
Does it bother you when you get hate?
Uh I, I don't understand it.
I think I think other comics might be able to understand it.
Um I, but I also I don't understand it because I don't have hate like, no matter who it is.
You know, like I try to help anybody out, even if they don't deserve it.
I'll usually do as much as I can for them, even though I don't know them.
So I can't relate to it, you know.
So it will hurt my feelings if I entertain it, but I don't.
You know, you try to ignore it.
When I say ignore it, like people talk about posts and ghosts and they're usually full of shit, i'm telling you man, I haven't seen anything about three, four years.
I see nothing.
So by the time it gets to me it has to be pretty bad, you know.
So I see nothing because I don't think it's uh beneficial for what we do.
Right, I think it's good to have your ear to the ground, know what the trends and what Shultz is doing, what Akash is doing and what you know Nate Bargetsy is doing.
So that's good.
But as far as that the, the feedback and the fans and reading, you know, youtube comics no man, I don't think it's good.
I don't think it's good.
So um, you know, it's just the way I deal with it and that's not for everybody right, you know.
But um, it works for me.
Yeah, I mean, some of us were so feedback dependent.
We want to look at the comments, we want to see what people are doing.
And again, no judgment.
If that works for you, do that dude, but for a, for a lot of people it's, it's not too beneficial.
You know, especially my journey right, like could be triggering.
So I get it man, you know i'm saying I get it.
So, as far as the hate, you're not telling me anything.
I haven't heard.
You know what i'm saying.
Like nobody's harder on themselves than me.
So, whatever you say, trust me, i've thought it, so it doesn't hurt my feelings.
Man right, you know, and do you understand where some of them are coming from?
I they they probably I, I understand it.
Where, if you know oh, this guy, whatever their agenda is, their narrative is, yeah man, you know, it's like yeah, because if you don't know me, or you just watched a special, you just saw a post of a Ferrari but you weren't on the journey yeah, you know what i'm saying.
So I, I get it.
It's triggering too because a lot of, I would assume, the hate comes from.
You know, there's a lot of people that don't have the balls do coming, sure as fuck, don't have the balls to fight in the UFC right, so a lot of it's triggering man right, because i'm, because my thing is is, i've always had the balls, i've always had the confidence like I had great parents super blessed for that right that whatever dude, whatever you want to do, do it.
Man yeah, and i've ran with that dude right, ran with that to the fullest extent.
So right, maybe they didn't have good parents, maybe they have something going on with their lives where they can't do, go to open mics or they can't pursue it.
So they have this toxic dark energy and they see me pursuing it.
It's triggering yeah, and they might be really talented, they might be funny, but for whatever reason they can't do it.
And you want to throw hate my way?
I was built for it dog, you know.
Okay, I get it Brother, I get it, man.
Yeah.
And if I could, here's the thing: if I could help you, I would.
But, you know, there's nothing I can do.
I don't know them.
I don't see it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a tricky situation.
I often think back to like, you know, the scenario that you were in with like with the whole Showtime thing, because at first I'm like, why didn't anybody tell you?
And then there's part of me that's like, of course, nobody told you.
Right.
It's like people wanted opportunity from you.
You had one of the biggest podcasts on the planet at that time.
And this is during like the podcast bubble when things were starting to fucking explode.
I mean, I still do.
Yeah, Kim.
Of course.
And then you have proximity to the fucking king, Joe.
So nobody's going to want to keep it real with you and be honest with you.
What if I get on his bad side?
I don't ever get on Rogan.
Yeah.
And they're like, well, I would like him to suggest that I maybe go on Rogan, right?
Which they know that you're a good guy.
You did it for me.
You've done it for people.
And they're like, listen.
I've done for three people ever, though.
So for those out there, if you ask me to do it, I've done for three.
But you're undeniably a helpful person.
Yeah.
When I'm doing the LA podcast, Ron, nobody was more helpful than you.
Nobody lined up as much and did as much.
So I understand how you could potentially be in that situation.
But after that, it's up to you to learn from those situations and make sure that.
Yeah, that's on me, brother.
But again, all that's from hard work.
Yeah.
And you're not going to, again, I know you guys know hustlers.
There's, when hard, when it comes to hard work, people say, and I told Rogan, quit saying this.
He'll paint this narrative.
Dude, you take that professional athlete's mindset.
I've always had this, dude.
I could be a UPS worker, and I just, I just fucking grind, man.
My dad, he's not a professional athlete, grinds, dude.
That's all I know.
Yeah.
But people, oh, professional athlete, no, what are you talking about?
I know professional athletes have horrible work ethics.
It's just, it's a, it's a, it's a, you know, it's a, it's a trait of somebody.
Like my, my father-in-law works at Walmart.
Dude, he grinds his ass off, dude.
Honey Coupon Secrets00:04:18
Yeah.
He doesn't own the company.
He's a manager at Walmart.
Yeah, works off.
He's a Mexican job.
Yes.
And he is very Mexican.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
He does construction on the side.
On the side.
Yeah.
The side of a pickup truck going over the eye.
I'm Mexican.
I'm Mexican.
At the Home Depot off DeSoto and Woodland Hills.
Give him a job.
What's Woodland Hills?
South California?
Yeah, a suburban fucking outside Calabasas.
Did your father-in-law put together your sneaker?
Listen, he'd be a lot richer if he did.
Get you put together yours, my man.
They've been doing it for 100 years.
This is Dr. J, dude.
This is Dr. Dr. Jay.
Imagine playing the doctor.
The doctor put together my shit.
It's actually Chuck Taylor.
But I don't know how to say, hey, what is Dr. J, bro?
You forgot who Chuck Taylor was for the minute, didn't you?
Yeah, he wanted to fucking lay down.
I was like, who the fuck was that?
Damn it.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because obviously, you know, I've been catching some rays.
You know what I mean?
Look at my skin.
Look like a cherub.
You know what I'm saying?
I look like a Russian's back after getting beaten by some leaves.
I look like a ball sack.
Guys, guys, guys, what I'm trying to say is if you're out there in the sun, don't be squinting your eyes and getting them crow's feet.
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Arcash, what you like, bro?
Son, buttery bros?
The buttery bros.
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Oh, my God.
Walk down the pier with those, dude.
Anyway.
My point is, obviously, you guys want these sunglasses.
So if you want them, I think, Mark, the best I could do is 15%, bro.
Come on.
You think I should do less?
Come on, give them 7% off.
15 is a lot.
Yo, 7% off.
No, they deserve 15%, Mark.
I don't know.
15 is a lot.
It's very generous.
That's the best I could do.
And I'm going to give them the best.
Bad business, bro.
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Now let's get back to the show.
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Free Browser Extension Hack00:09:05
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Now let's get back to this show.
What is success for you with this special?
Oh, good.
Oh, fuck.
Good question.
I don't know.
You know, for me, put it on YouTube, which was against when you talk about listening to people.
You know, I have suits that work for me, agents and managers.
Clearly, they wanted to go with a major network, which I think was a mistake, which I learned from the showtime because when you do that, you're compared to the other guys on that network.
And so the networks that made offers, I went, I've been down that road, man.
I'm not like those guys.
My journey's different.
But also, I, you know, I'm not like you or Arkash, where you guys are putting material out all the fucking time.
The only material on me is from this is not happening on Communicentral, which was, I filmed six years ago when I was a year into stand-up.
So that's the only material.
So I need this where people can see it.
So they can see how hard I'm working, how much better I've gotten at stand-up.
So it's like to me, YouTube made all the sense in the world because I can control it.
I can put out clips that I want.
You know, the whole marketing behind it, I can do everything.
And I enjoy doing that.
And then I also have the team who can pull it off.
Shot by me, shot by the Thick Boy crew, the staff, edited the music from Little Browse, who I found.
So it just made sense.
Yeah.
So to me, I just wanted content out that everybody can see.
I mean, why not just put out clips?
You could have.
You could have.
I have so many clips.
Like, you know, we shot an hour.
We only released 30.
So I have so many clips in the chamber ready to go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I would have told you to do.
Because it's going to exist in clips no matter what.
So we put out that material, which I want to get rid of.
Yeah.
Right.
So want to put that out.
And then the clip, we cut up an eclipse too, which will be rolling.
Right.
So, you know, both.
And those are going to create more portals for people to see what you're doing.
Correct.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And it just allows you to do that.
I think where I'm at, it's the move, man.
It's the move.
It makes sense for so many reasons.
Yeah.
But as far as success, I don't know.
I don't know.
What's interesting about YouTube is.
Is there like a number that makes you go, yo, this is what I wanted?
If it hits a million, I'll feel like the success.
Anything on a million, I'm like, all right, we got work to do.
But again, I don't know.
I think that's the pros and cons of going on YouTube is there's a numerical value of how many people fucked with you.
Yeah.
Very clear.
How many people fucked with you?
Yeah.
Netflix, Company Central, Amazon, Hulu, all that, all those other HBO Showtime.
I have no idea.
I have no, they're not going to tell you.
Right.
Showtime I knew because they, I have a really good friend who deals with it.
So I knew how well it was doing.
And they did a promo code to see who would sign up.
So I knew how well that did.
But this is very black and white.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah.
You get to actually see the views.
And then also the feedback.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Complete 180 from Showtime.
But you don't look at the feedback.
But I don't look at the feedback, but I get it from my team.
Ah.
Gotcha.
Got you.
Gotcha.
Well, listen, before you leave, we have to do it.
What do they tell you about the Showtime thing?
What was their feedback?
I'd be like, bro, the fuck did you hire me two months ago?
I told you.
Put this shit in the trash.
This is a fire store, man.
I don't want to work period.
I'm like, no, I got the feedback was they gave me their two weeks.
What do you mean?
How's it going?
Hey, man, I won't put my two weeks in now.
Oh, what the fuck?
At the time, I didn't have a team.
I was solo doughing.
I didn't have a feature, man.
Have you gone back and watched the first special like all the way through?
No, I hate watching myself.
I can't stand it.
You know what?
I'm all set.
Hey, I'm all set.
You know?
Yeah.
That is fucked up.
And that's my therapist.
Like, won't we sit down and watch this?
Yeah.
Together?
We're sitting and watch this together and see how you fucked up.
I want you to mark this moment.
Yeah, no.
We do something on this show called Feelings, No Facts.
Feelings, No Facts.
Okay.
And I haven't heard you guys do that, but this is, you know, I'm busy like you guys are.
So I listen to a few podcasts.
This is one of the only shows I listen to religiously.
This is one of the only shows.
Yeah.
Well, we do feelings no facts.
I think you're brilliant.
Oh, I appreciate that, man.
Thank you.
Can we do some losers?
You're a fucking loser.
You all are fucking nerds.
Can we do some feelings, no facts?
While we have Brendan in the building, please.
So Mark will bring up some stories and then we basically do feelings, no facts.
Let's do it.
But I also said this.
I think I said this at the wedding.
I think you're the secret sauce of the show because I did flagrant and you came to Thick Boy and did it.
But you weren't there.
You weren't there.
And you were there.
The whole thing fell apart.
It just sucks.
So you're the secret sauce.
Is there a part of you where you're not involved?
You hope it pops.
Yeah.
Because this is the first time ever.
Dude, I've never missed a podcast in 10 years.
Ever.
Ever.
It's the first time I'm missing King Singing the Wing, Two Firing the Kids, The Shop Show, Food Truck Diaries.
I missed all of it.
Wait, are people filling in for you?
The people are filling on Firing the Kid and King of the Singing the Wing.
And then on the fight companion, Calvas Fight Companion on Saturday, I have Rashad Evans, Rampage Jackson, Matt Mitrion doing it.
I won't be there.
Is somebody else hosting it?
No.
That's going to be fun.
Yeah.
But I, but I do hope when Brian's on his own, it eats all the dicks.
So they realize that I'm the secret sauce.
I hope King of the Singing in the Wing eats shit as well.
I hope Chris and Theo go, fuck, dude.
Brennan's really important.
Because when they have to do all the reads and I'm not there to do all the fucking reads, I just hope they suck at England.
Yeah, what's up now, dude?
That's what you bring.
Now who sucks at England?
The money maker.
The mule of the fucking show.
Love it, buddy.
Yo, you know who could be a good fill-in is Trash Tuesday if you want to get them on a podcast.
They can have what's with the Trash Tuesday beef.
When are we going to settle the Trash Tuesday beef?
It's settled as far as you know.
Did you try to wog Annie Letterman to your truck?
No, it doesn't make sense.
No, no.
It doesn't make sense.
No.
Okay, so then follow up.
Why does it not make sense?
You know, it's her perspective.
And I get it.
Perspective.
For it to get back to me, it has to get out of control.
I have nothing but love for her.
I have no idea what her issue is.
Anything like that.
That's fine.
That's her narrative and that's how she feels.
All good.
I get it.
Yeah.
As far as Kalila goes, you know, me and her had a long conversation on the phone.
We are good, man.
Yeah.
No one's suing anybody.
Again, these are the things that you asked me.
No, no, these narratives online, you know, it's like a fucking soap show.
They want this drama.
There's no drama.
Like, Bobby Lee is one of my close friends.
Me and Bobby talk a lot.
No one's been more supportive when I started than Bobby Lee, dude.
Really?
Besides Rogan and Callum DeLiet, like nobody's been more supportive.
So when it comes to Kalila, you know, I and I didn't have her number, Bobby.
I go, look, give me, send me your girl's number.
So I called her and we just had a conversation, you know, for over an hour.
Me and her are good, man.
I, dude, when you talk about the secret sauce, Kalila is the secret sauce of Tiger Belly, of the Trash Tuesday.
She's such a smart fucking girl.
No issues.
As far as suing goes, I think it's a miscommunication.
Did you see the clip that they put out?
It looked like they were very angry.
Yeah.
Again, if, and I told her, always come to me.
Yeah.
If you want to know, come to me.
Don't.
And they said that you had like some dirt on her or something like that.
I've noted her.
I don't know.
So where are we?
Maybe we don't know each other that way.
They're making this up or what?
Yeah, but when it comes to Kalila, it's like, I don't know.
Again, I don't subscribe to social media.
So if she's getting that news and she subscribes to it, I would be upset too.
And that's why I told her.
See, like, I get it.
So me and her straight up had a conversation.
That's how adults do it.
But see, this is the problem with you being like so detached from anything that happens online is you don't get to correct narratives about you in real time.
Like, you know, this is probably the first time you've ever addressed what they said.
Well, who, but who else is going to have 14 different platforms?
Correcting Online Narratives00:14:50
You could just go and be like, yo, that's wild.
That's not true.
I'm not saying anything.
There's no lawsuit.
I called her up and squashed everything's good.
Instead of they put it out there and then never addressed what is out there.
And now everybody just believes what has been said by them is real.
You could do that, or I can just call Kalila direct like I did.
No, then it's squashed between you two, but the people that have seen it haven't seen it get squashed.
So they just believe that that thing that they've digested is still real.
Sure.
And that comes with, you know, celebrity and all that shit.
So it's like with that, like, you know, some stuff you don't have to tell the public.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, me and Khalil are cool.
Bobby's one of my closest friends, man.
So it's like with that stuff, and you got to realize when I was coming to comedy, and again, I get all of it.
When you have this.
Do you drive a truck?
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't even drive a truck.
What do you drive?
Hold on.
You don't even have a truck?
No, here's.
No, I have a Bronco that I got six, eight months ago.
Bronco's a truck.
No, that's eight months ago.
That's eight months ago.
So you didn't own a truck before then.
No, I had a truck.
No, hold up.
I had a truck.
I had a truck.
Let's go.
No, I had a truck, but here's the thing with that.
But did you park in the comedy store parking lot or do you have to walk?
They wouldn't let me.
I got rid of it after two weeks.
Because, you know, I was at the comedy store so much.
The valet guys who has, they've always been great to me.
If you know how the comedy store works, unless you're passed, you can't park in that lot.
I didn't know that.
But I would tip them like crazy.
Even when I didn't have money, I'd always tip them.
But also, any money I made from the comedy store, the improv, the laugh factory, I always give to the door guys.
I never took it.
See, this guy's a great guy.
You're a great guy, dude.
Yeah, yes.
So I'd always give him the money.
You said that's a fucked up precedent to set, though.
Because if I go to the comedy store, I ain't trying to tip y'all like that.
Yeah.
I'm nice, but I got you so.
Come on, yo.
It's just different.
It's against my economicity.
But with the truck, they're like, bro, we can't park this thing.
It's too fucking big.
And I couldn't park it in the streets of LA.
So I was like, fuck this thing.
It was a raptor lifted, like a monster truck.
You can't in LA, it didn't make sense.
So I had it for maybe two weeks, you know?
So that truck was lit.
Also, if you're going to make fun of the way I talk, bro, I say to my special.
It's not me.
No, no, but I say my special.
I love that luck.
Yeah, I say that.
You didn't speak English.
You want me to learn Spanish?
Yeah, I barely know English.
I struggle with English.
So, yeah, I'm not Jordan Peterson.
I'm a far cry from him.
And I know this.
I've had a speech impediment my entire life.
I have to work on it.
Like when I would read teleprompters, when I had that legit TV show on Showtime, they had me read the teleprompter and I could see that.
And I want the guy to be honest, like, hey, dude, we need to work on the way you pronounce words.
But he was just like, I think we should use this.
Give you a special.
I think we should give you a special.
I think we should give you a special.
You stumbled across these words like it's a tough mother.
There we go.
So they gave me a special.
No, which is hilarious.
So I had to work on it, dude.
I had to work on it.
So for a guy with a speech impediment, and then also I've had since I was a kid, man.
So if they're going to make fun of the way I talk, you know, my entire business is based off talking.
I thought this was from being punched.
Yeah, me too.
I honestly had no clue.
I thought you would be speechless.
My life would be easier if it was CT.
Then I could chalk up.
You've told me about CT.
I don't have CT.
You told you were worried about it.
Of course.
I lost my keys the other day.
I was like, here we go.
It started.
Yo.
Next time Andy Letterman brings that up, you got to do the Michael Irvin.
What's that?
You walked me in my truck.
CT!
I have a car!
Dude, he was a tidal wave on it.
It's one of the only episodes I couldn't get through.
No, it gave me anxiety.
Really?
Dude, because he's just yelling.
He doesn't love it.
But he's one of my favorite people on the planet.
He's incredible.
Oh, dude.
He's the best.
So me and him know each other.
And then when I, he was like a big UFC fan.
And then I was at a Super Bowl party.
Deion Sanders is there.
I'm with Tim Tebow, dressed to the nines.
And he goes, shop in front of all these people.
I'm like, oh, I say last dog.
What's up?
Give me some street credit because I might as well have been a fucking worm.
Nobody said hi to me.
He'll shop in front of everybody.
I'm like, What's up, bro?
I go to give him a high five like this.
He grabbed.
I'm a grown man.
I'm probably 32 years old.
He grabs my head and kisses me on top of the head.
Let's go.
He's a fucking bad.
No doubt, man.
He's so jealous of you.
Yeah, he's the best.
You could probably fuck him up.
I don't know.
Michael Irving.
I don't think so.
If it went to the ground, yeah, hopefully, I could.
I don't know, though.
Hopefully, I don't have to.
My favorite line of his, he goes, you're not everybody.
He goes, not only was I getting double team on the field, I'm also getting double team in the hotel room.
Dude, the White House, bro.
Yeah.
The best.
I love Michael Irvin.
Yeah, Michael Irvin.
That was honestly, I think, one of our best episodes.
Yeah, so fun.
Go listen.
You had Bill Gates at your fucking show.
Yeah, that was kind of crazy.
The lizard man himself.
Yeah, that was kind of crazy.
He's just a fan?
Came to the show?
I assume that his kid is a fan.
And he was there with his kid.
Schultz in the Illuminati now.
I'm also in the Illuminati.
Yeah.
He's got fully inducted.
It's a different group.
You know what I'm saying?
So if you need anything handled, I got you.
I'll take it.
I could use some help.
Dude, Alex Jones was in the green room.
I mean, Rogan did shows.
Did you talk to him about the whole thing?
He just got, I think he filed for bankruptcy.
Yeah.
It did seem that way.
He was like, I'm crushing.
He's like, he was like, the media says this, but he's like, business is never big news.
Yeah.
He's like, fake news.
And he's just a tidal wave.
He's the most entertaining human being you'll ever meet in your life.
Raising us through the roof.
It is unbelievable.
And I have like vaccine jokes and mandates about California compared to Texas.
He's like, I love that the vaccine, but you hit him hard.
I'm like, all right, man.
It's a good impression.
Take it easy, dude.
Take it easy.
He's just like, he's and then also, he could be the president of Thick Boy Club.
I was like, dude, your arms are how big?
He's a tank, dude.
You built like a baby rhino.
Just fucking tan, thick rhino.
I am worried about his long-term health.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, his cholesterol is through the roof.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw him eat a whole onion.
Stem it every wait, cooked?
Nope.
Raw white onion.
Lizard.
Cut in.
Come on, bro.
Come on, bro.
Chopped vegetables?
Come on, browser.
Is Alex Jones a lizard, bro?
Based on diet alone?
He doesn't look like it.
It was unbelievable.
Whole onion cut in half.
He's more like a toad, am I right?
Yo, infamous tour.
Last two shows, the final two, Vancouver, May 6th.
Absolutely crazy that we are finishing this tour that we've been doing for years.
And truly unreal.
Thank you so much for everybody who's come out.
I'll be honest, I don't know if there's any tickets left for those shows, but you go check at theandrewschultz.com.
But yeah, man, I'm just super, super grateful for everybody.
Akash's store is still crushing it right now.
Man, it's amazing to see what Akash has been doing.
He's going to be in Tacoma, Washington, May 12th through the 14th, Tacoma Comedy Club.
He's going to be in Holland, Michigan.
Is that Michigan?
Am I?
Yeah.
Mississippi?
Nah, that's MS. Oh.
Oh, damn.
All right.
He's going to be in Holland, Michigan at the Park Theater on May 19th.
He's going to be in Muskegon, Michigan on May 20th at the Back Alley Comedy Club.
On May 21st, he's going to be in Grand Rapids, Gun Rule in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Thank you.
I appreciate you covering, bro.
Got you, son.
Yo, go to Akashing.com.
Get the rest of that.
This guy's Ron Burgundy, bro.
He's about to read that whole shit.
Yeah, more words.
I keep reading, bro.
Let's go.
Website is fire.
All right.
Anything else you want to tell them?
First of all, thank you to everybody who came out in Bridgeport.
I told them that.
You know, it was fire, though.
We had people come multiple nights, and then one guy came three nights.
Oh, my God.
Just so cool because if you came twice and felt like it was different enough to come the third time.
That's that's what I want.
I want you to be able to come to multiple shows and still feel like it's different enough.
So thank you to everybody who came out.
Get tickets for the rest of the shows at Akasing.com.
Now let's get back to the show.
Thank you Andrew, love you.
Dude, I used to work for Bravo and I used to have homework.
What'd you do?
Uh, I did a show with, like Kelly Ripa and what's the?
Andy Cohen and uh, some other guys on there and we used to have to talk about like their shows.
So I was like Real Housewives Of Orange County expert.
This is so gay.
I was the real housewives of Orange County expert, but they have like nine or ten other fucking spin-offs, like real housewives of fucking, you know, New Jersey, New York, Atlanta, Spokane, Oklahoma.
Yeah.
I used to have to watch all that shit.
Yeah.
And then you'd have to come on there and try and be funny and like give them the shit.
And it was exhausting.
When was this?
Shit, man.
Six years ago, probably.
I used to for and then I worked for E.
I used to host the Oscars, like do all the red crep for the Oscars, the Grammys.
Yeah, man.
Really?
And I got fired because little Uzi Vert walked by and I made fun of his outfit, like lit him up.
And everyone was laughing.
The producer's like, uh-uh, dude.
Because he wouldn't do the interview.
He's like, nah, fuck that guy.
I was like, okay.
And then I oh, you're fired.
With all those jobs, he might be Mexican, y'all.
Shaw is actually a real life Mexico kid.
He goes deep.
That's crazy.
This motherfucker.
The outfits were lit, though, man.
A personal stylist.
Dude, oh, dude, it's sick.
And because I'm so big, they have to custom make it.
Oh, wow.
That's that vest right there is interesting.
I look like a blackjack dealer.
I'm a blackjack dealer.
Yeah, you are.
Dude, Shaw.
Biceps and forearms looking diesel, though.
What's up, dog?
So, Shaw.
Yeah, what else you got, buddy?
I'm just curious, like, what is what is next for you?
Keep grinding, man.
You know, I'm on tour this weekend in Charlotte.
And then in two weeks, I think I'm in Philly.
So it's like, just back to the grind.
Are you doing new material?
Of course.
I subscribe in the way I came up through the guys who I've mentioned before is like, once that special's out, you can't touch that material.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so it's all new shit.
It's called the Trash Panda tour.
And we just launch a bunch of other dates.
Right.
So it's back to the grind, man.
Then also, Thick Boy Studios, like, you know, heavy lies the crown, man.
The thing's a beast.
Yeah.
The thing's a beast.
You got, you know, I'm like in charge of people.
I had to fire somebody the other day.
Oh, really?
That's all they do.
He's just not going to, he's just vaping the corner.
He's supposed to be in charge of social media.
Just vaping the corner and chilling.
You know, so it's.
Well, what do you want him doing?
Working.
So like you could do social media and vape.
Yeah.
You would say Walla does 90% of the time he's here.
Yeah.
Some people, they're not as talented as your guy.
He's either vaping or he's working, but not both.
Look at him.
Vaping and working.
Which guy?
Which guy?
Yeah, I'm going to say his name.
I might know him.
I might have not.
You don't know him.
No, he's new.
No, the little one, Kyle.
Yeah, I love him.
He's the best.
He moves from Kentucky.
Like, he's the best.
He's really stepped his game up.
Now you got Mike, who's like the head of, I stole him from a movie studio, and he's the head of Thick Boy.
Like, he's a beast, man.
So what do you want to do with Thick Boy?
Just create shows and give guys a platform.
Like, you know, Chappelle Lacey has his own show on there.
Chappelle's World.
Chappelle's great.
Chappelle's the best.
Chappelle's leaving Fire the Kid.
What?
Really?
This week because I'm out of town, but this is his last week on Fire the Kid.
The Monday I get back, May 9th.
He's not on anymore.
Why?
He just felt like it's ran its course.
And he's like, it's yours and Brian's show, man.
Like, I filled in because Brian couldn't do it.
So, but now Brian's back.
He's like, and you and Brian have this relationship where I can feel the chemistry and it's such a fun show, but I'm just on the side, dude.
Like, I'm trying to insert myself, but it's just not.
You guys have your black belt and podcast.
I'm still a white belt, man.
He's like, I'm trying to get in there.
It's just not a fit.
He's like, so I want to focus on my own stuff.
I was like, dude, whatever you want to do, man.
So he has his own studio and Thick Boy, and he's going to focus on his show.
Okay.
So with Thick Boy, you know, I don't know.
I just like making my own shit.
Yeah.
That's dope.
That's fucking dope.
I still need to see Cat's feet, but that's fine.
Dude, I'll keep the Jordan 1 unions and give you a subscription to Cats OnlyFans.
I mean, I guess I'll do that.
Although Jordan 1 Unions, it's a good look.
I'll sell them to you for $1,000.
You son of a bitch.
I'll sell them to you.
You know, hardness for a thousand dollars.
He's a bad guy.
Listen, what I'm trying to do right now, what I'm trying to do right now, is I'm trying to set a precedent for what the gift Dove needs to give me is.
Because you gave me a very thoughtful gift, which is a very cool pair of sneakers.
Objectively, they're cool.
Subjectively they're cool.
Coolest.
I mean, now it's not a Daytona roll.
Role.
I don't like that.
That's what fucked everybody in this room.
Rogan, who's fucking Oprah for guys, goes, here's a fucking Daytona Role.
Here's a Daytona Role.
So it's like, all right, dude.
Here's a fucking pair of sneakers.
Look under your seat.
Here's a career.
There's a career.
You get a career.
You get a career.
You don't.
The one guy that needs to give me nothing.
He's the best.
He's the best.
Not the guy that officially.
He's the best.
But this guy thinks that just because he officiated the wedding.
Just because.
He officially.
Oh, my God, Dub.
Bro, Dove, you did a great job.
The highlight of that was Charlemagne, though.
Yeah.
But oh, yeah, you offloaded your officiating.
It was half and half.
Dove, who picked Charlemagne to do it?
Nobody knew.
Well, that was a surprise.
I think it was Hall.
Yeah, it was maybe, maybe it was my friend.
It might be the years of relationships.
You booked him.
Oh, I booked them.
I produced them.
And I timed it.
And I did all the things.
And you wrote it?
His thing?
Yeah.
I know.
Dove, you did a great job officiating the wedding, but that's not a gift.
Yo, but we can't even compliment him for it anymore because he believes that it was like worth something.
Yo, you know what?
It was worth friendship and love.
Yo, that's it.
And he believes it's worth a value.
Like a value.
Rogan didn't get your wife a gift.
He don't need to.
He got my wife the gift of me being happy.
What a terrible thing.
Taking down Rogan.
I'm taking down Rogan.
What a terrible take.
Terry Diet Coke, though.
What a terrible dude.
Diet Coke is my fucking Lord and Savior.
Dude, I'm like Donald Trump.
I would bring 15 of them.
Did you bring it?
Oh, but not in the bottle.
No, I want it in a can.
You can or nothing.
Todd Wedding Production00:02:05
I can.
Can.
But I asked for cans, but on ice.
Dove on ice.
It's all right.
I mean, Dove, you got the plastic bottle version of the Diet Coke.
You know, I'm doing 97,000 things.
So I said, hey, hey, don't let them hate on you for this.
Don't let them hate on you for this.
Let them hate on you exclusively from no wedding gift.
That's fine.
I'm a fair guy.
Plastic?
You want me to get cancer?
Okay, that's fine.
Wouldn't care about it.
Shaw, listen.
Honestly, you can all go down.
And Roland, you're going down too much.
I'm being objective here.
His girl a gift.
Dove wants all the he wants all the smoke.
I'm telling Todd Feldman, man.
He's going to discipline him.
I'm telling Todd.
And you know, Todd.
Todd's My guy, man.
I love Todd.
Okay, before we get out of here, tell them anything that you need to tell them.
We have Gringo Poppy right now, Thick Boy.
The biggest thing in the special, the entire reason I came to New York and took time away from my kids is, yeah, the special's on YouTube right now, Thick Boy YouTube.
It's the Gringo Poppy, and it was created, shot, edited.
The music, everything is all under the Thick Boy banner.
We did it all ourselves.
So hopefully you guys enjoy it, man.
And then a lot of work went into it.
And continue following Shaub's journey, man.
I think you have a very interesting journey, and I think that it's cool that you're being so transparent with it.
And a lot of people rock with it.
And I think that you're a genuinely good guy in this business.
And it is rare to find good guys in this business.
Agree.
So you keep doing that.
And don't let negativity change you into a person that you're not.
No, never, brother.
Okay.
Never that.
Never that, man.
But I'll be in Charlotte this weekend and then Philly.
Good.
But I believe that correcting false narratives is important.
Sure, bro.
And I believe that you should use either your platform or other people's platform to do that.
And I hope you got a little bit more clarity here today.