Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Will Smith's Oscar slap, debating whether it was a justified defense of Jada Pinkett Smith against Chris Rock's alopecia joke or an act of entitled privilege that ruined the show. They explore rumors of an open marriage, compare Hollywood double standards to Roman Polanski, and pivot to male birth control options costing $200 monthly. The episode concludes by analyzing Tiffany Haddish's "costume" gown comment as racism and discussing reproductive autonomy, ultimately questioning societal norms regarding celebrity conduct and gendered expectations in comedy. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Defending Chris Rock's Honor00:14:31
After the vicious attacks on Chris Rock last night, we think it's only right here at the Flagrant 2 podcast to defend the comics' honor to tell jokes.
So here we go.
If you didn't see the Oscars, Chris Rock got himself in a hairy situation.
He shined a light on female alopecia, while Jada's head shined a light on everything else.
Chris was making fun of Jada's baldy, but seriously, how is Will supposed to get turned on if she has a woman's haircut?
Now, I'm not saying that he's gay.
He likes women, specifically ones that swim for pens.
All I'm saying is last night wasn't the first time Will fondled another man to make Jada happy.
Okay, yes.
And Will's hand that struck Chris Rock was actually a metaphor for his relationship with Jada.
Open when he wanted it to be closed.
But let's be honest.
Last night, Will Smith looked like he was from the streets of Philadelphia.
And Jada looked like she was from the movie.
Now after all that drama, Will Smith still took home an Oscar.
I'm talking about the award, not a Mexican guy to fuck his wife while he walks in the corner.
You gotta check.
Now, to clarify, Will won the Oscar for best actor.
People were saying it was for the Lifetime Achievement Award.
And no, that's not it.
That Oscar goes to the plumber that unclogged Jada's shower drain.
Now, I am tired of people not giving Jada enough credit.
Okay, it was actually Jada that helped Will get in character for King Richard.
Because when she gives blowjobs, her head looks like a bouncing tennis ball.
Give it up to Will, okay?
Give it up to Will Smith.
He is the only person to be recognized by the Motion Picture Academy and the Citizen app on the same night.
And to everyone saying Will was probably under the influence, no, okay?
He doesn't drink or do drugs.
This is the only time he's ever smoked a rock in his life.
Now, don't feel bad for Chris Rock, okay?
He was finally part of a hit white people will watch.
Give Chris Rock some damn credit, okay?
He took that smack like a champ.
And next year, he's going to be ready.
Okay, he'll have more bobs and weaves than Jada's wig collection.
Now, a lot of people are saying this never happened during Oscar's So White.
Exactly, okay?
The white Oscars are mind-numbingly boring, or as Jada would call it, a relationship with Will.
So I think we can all admit this was shocking, okay?
Because if there was going to be one chick at the Oscars with a hair loss disease that doesn't understand humor, I would assume it'd be A.B. Schumer.
Oh my God.
Anyway.
Will, let this be a lesson to you.
If you want to keep your wife's name out of other people's mouths, make sure to keep your hands off comedians.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
Now, let's start this show.
Wow.
You defended Chris Rock's honor, dude.
Yeah, we did.
How long do you think I'm going to be in this?
Until we decide you can get out.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're really a prisoner of this.
You like Jada in her own marriage.
Jada or Will.
Well, hey, Jada wants out, can't get out.
That's facts.
What did you guys think of what happened?
Thank you, Squire.
I mean, dude, cursed off of the costume.
I'm in the fire, right?
Is this just in case like Will tries to attack you?
Yeah, this is what comedians are going to have to wear now.
On stage?
Yeah, we're going to have the dress prepared for violence, dude.
Yeah.
This is what it's like now.
Comedians are under attack, dude.
Wow.
Everyone wants to talk about Ukraine.
Comedians are the real ones that are under attack.
We're the Ukrainians of America.
Absolutely.
You don't look like the Kingslayer.
You're not the Kingslayer, but you're like the Prince Layler.
I'm the Prince Layer.
Yeah, 100%.
Which Prince?
Yeah, the French.
Fresh one.
Okay, guys, what were your thoughts on what happened with Will and Rock?
I mean, that was unreal.
It's hard to do.
We can't move on.
You want to hear something funny?
I saw a tweet that said it wasn't even Rock's joke.
It was one of the writers.
That's so good.
What do you think he's doing back today?
The writer just like the writer probably thought of way worse jokes about Infidelity and was like, let's go with something mild.
Dude, she's wearing a green, like a military green outfit.
And is she going to be in G.I. Jane?
No, no, no.
They're not making another G.I. Jane?
No.
She's not doing this for a role.
What?
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
No, no.
She's doing it because she has alopecia.
She's losing her hair.
Yeah, which is apparently a huge deal.
I had no idea.
Every person at the Oscars has fake hair.
Every person in this room is losing their hair.
Yeah.
Shout out to Keeps.
But no, for real.
Like, if there's one place where you can wear wigs and fake hair and all that kind of stuff, it's the like every girl there probably has extension.
Maybe she wanted to be proud.
She wanted to come out and say, yo, this is my hair.
Well, then keep it a buck.
Be proud.
Yo.
Do you know what I'm saying?
If this is a big deal for black women to not wear their own hair, why have my women been cutting off their own shit and sending it this way?
Talk that shit.
For fucking decades.
Talk that shit.
Let's talk about it.
You can't get a nice weave.
A crusade.
A crusade in there?
It's like I'm ready for a crusade right now.
You look like it.
Yeah, y'all will get there first.
But by the time I get there, I think that was the strategy.
They're like, if we just make them walk there from England in these outfits, the Muslims will just be dead by then.
There's no way that we're just waiting for them.
Bro, son, you're looking for a crusade.
I thought you were looking for the yellow brick road over there.
It took a while to go there.
The joke was great.
The joke was great.
The joke was exceptional.
But it did take you a while to get there.
But that was fucking good.
Bro, Tin Man, bro.
Yeah.
I feel bad for him.
They said no one's ever rented this outfit before.
Say again?
They said no one's ever rented this.
I was like, I want to rent that.
They're like, wait, actually?
Mark, we didn't rent this outfit.
Oh, that's what I said.
This is handed down.
Forged, yeah, forged.
Yeah, it was my family.
Yeah, they've never forgotten.
My Scottish answers when we were fucking up the English in their butts.
You know what I mean?
We were cucking out the English, dude.
When we were Will Smith and the English, dude.
If there's any, August Al Cena, if there's anything you want to say to Andrew, now's the time because he can't do nothing.
I can't do shit.
You can say whatever you want to me.
Okay.
But if there's any time to use your Scottish accent, now is also the time.
I definitely want some freedom from this outfit.
That's for damn sure.
Now, now, question, guys.
Jada Pinkett Smith's hair condition.
You think that's actually alopecia, or it's all like the RB singers just rubbing her head?
Oh my God.
Oh, my God.
What?
They said that her head is like the new log from the Apollo.
Gross.
Like, what?
You thought I was going to give all the Rose jokes and intros?
Come on, son.
We got to have a couple leftovers for the conversation.
You wrote that, you could have a career.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
That's crazy.
That's wild, man.
You got to keep this on forever.
You got to swing them.
I swing back.
Will.
You got to challenge him to a joust.
Yo.
That's fire.
Yeah, dude.
Will he just put Jada like that?
Yeah.
Will took on my Oscar and I'll use Vala.
Yeah, you guys deserve it.
Sorry, Vala.
Show the head.
We got some growth.
Yeah, right?
Vala making a comeback.
Watch out, Miles.
Okay, what were your guys' thoughts?
Like, immediate reaction was crazy on the internet.
Initially, Arkash said it was fake.
You dropped it.
I thought it was fake.
I thought it was fake too.
I don't anymore, but initially, I was like, there's no way that's real.
Okay.
And then I was watching with Dushar and my wife, and they're like, no, Chris's energy shifts way too hard.
There's a moment, I don't know if y'all noticed when Chris is about to clap back.
Not like fight him, but he goes, keep your wife.
Will goes, keep your wife's name out of no, keep my wife's name out of your mouth.
And Chris goes, yeah, he was about to unload.
He needed to.
Yeah, he did.
He needed to.
And he, we would have been completely fine if he went crazy, bleep him out, whatever.
Yeah, you got slapped on TV.
Yeah.
100%.
Like, not on TV, the TV.
Yo, the literally for losers, the Super Bowl.
The theater nerd Super Bowl.
The Virgin Super Bowl.
The Virgin Super Bowl.
He got slapped.
Yeah.
And it's so fucking crazy because the initial reaction was like, yo, Chris is pussy, blah, blah, blah.
I don't think Chris is pussy for not hitting Will back.
I think he's pussy because he was worried about his career.
I thought he was worried about his career, but I also think.
Like, if he acts crazy, if he acts professional in that moment, all the execs and everything are, oh my God, thank you so much for doing that.
And you acted like a man.
Will you?
I don't know if we can trust this person.
He's got issues, mental health, this, that, the other.
And then Chris is the ultimate professional.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but it didn't work out like that.
What do you mean?
We're not looking at him like that.
The people, not us, I'm saying the decision makers in Hollywood.
Like, he didn't hit him back so he can be in Zootopia 4, right?
He's like, I need to be doing voiceover work.
I need to do all that shit.
Which is sad.
It's that's the sad thing.
That's the social media.
That's his career.
Son, Antonio Brown is not beholden to no one.
Antonio Brown.
That's a horrible example.
No, but no, Think about it.
He's most athletes in that situation go, oh, I got to make sure that I keep my composure and I don't, you know, say, curse out the coach.
I don't do any of that kind of shit.
Antonio Brown said, fuck it, took off the jersey.
I do whatever I want.
I'm not beholden to the NFL.
Now, I'm not saying you should be Antonio Brown, but he's free.
That motherfucker is free to act whoever he wants.
And he doesn't do what the NFL wants.
He doesn't do what the coach wants.
You know, what Buccaneers wants.
He does what Antonio Brown fucking wants.
Lloyd Mayweather.
Sure.
He doesn't have no sponsors.
He didn't have to worry about people pulling out whatever.
He's, I'm going to sell my next fight on my own, make $100 million, and I could tell me shit.
Because Chris Rock can't do movies, but he could do stand-up.
Yes, he literally, his new tour is called Ego Death.
Antonio Brown.
Getting slapped at the Oscars and not doing nothing.
You can't have an ego about that, bro.
And he can't even come back and make jokes about Will.
Yes, he can.
Yes, he can.
There's two types of black people.
There's black people and then there's Will Smith.
Every time black people want to have a good time, Will Smith come and fuck it up.
That's good.
Keep going.
Yo, Will Smith always wants some credit for some shit he's supposed to do.
I protect my family.
He's supposed to, you dumb motherfucker.
Be my four-fifth mind.
I hate Will Smith.
The media.
You think when I'm at the Oscars, I'm looking at the audience for the media.
No, I'm looking for Will Smith.
That's going to be so fired.
Okay, fine.
But let's like his career is his life.
Right?
Like, like, you live and you make movies, and that's your job.
Yeah.
And that's also your life.
And so it's like, yeah, he just defended his life by not swinging back.
Yeah, but his life.
That's the gayest shit, man.
He's in movies.
He makes money by being in movies.
I know you're trying to disagree with us, so you have to have it take.
But that's being genuine.
I'm going to bail him out.
This is tough.
Okay, bail him out.
Bail him out.
How to Will Ran.
Huh?
Will ran.
He did kind of slapped him, turn around quick and started moving.
I don't know if it's a run.
I mean, it's pussy of Will to slap him, though.
No, no, because if you close fit, that's the most 140 pound soul.
That's the thing.
That's the most dishes.
I'm sure a lot of people.
I would rather get punched than get slapped.
What do you think weighs more?
Oh, my God.
Chris Rock or the hair in the shower drain F of Jada Smith's house.
What do you think, Chris?
No?
I'll try so hard.
I'll try so hard not to.
Yo, did they think they wasn't going to get these jokes?
That's crazy.
Come the fuck on, bro.
You think you could do that and not get more jokes?
You think we're going to, from the comfort of our own home, not talk more shit about Jada?
I'll be honest with you, and I resonated a little bit with Chris, because I've been punched on stage.
Yes, yes.
I have been punched on stage.
What happened?
Can you tell us a story?
I was doing a show, my first show in Harlem.
Yeah.
Shout out to Mocha Lounge.
Shout out to Mocha Lounge and Smokey.
And I went up and I was making fun of some Puerto Rican guy and I wasn't funny.
It wasn't even that good, but I was making fun of his ass.
And he walked up to me and there's no stage.
You're just performing right in front of like the bar, basically.
And he just walked up and I was like, what's up?
And he just swung on me.
Now, luckily, they grabbed him before I could do nothing.
Yeah.
Chris Rock didn't have that lucky.
Luckily for him.
No, no.
Luckily for him.
Before I could do nothing.
Yeah.
Luckily, they grabbed him before everybody could see I wasn't going to do nothing.
Let me word that correctly.
But I said that the first time.
So I get to look like the, oh, I would have fucked him up.
And I remember they just gave me the mic and they're like, all right, keep going.
And it was like a legendary story for me because it's like, how do you react to that?
Like, I know everything he felt in that moment.
Except it wasn't by Will Smith on the most famous stage possible.
But in the moment, going like, what the fuck is going on?
But luckily, they all grabbed him and threw him out.
So I didn't look as pussy as I was about to be.
Did you have a sturdy chin?
Oh, he didn't drop me or nothing, bro.
You got a sturdy chin.
Chris had a sturdy chin, bro.
He leaned in, smiling.
He looked like a shark in shark's tail.
Do you see the picture of him leaned in cheese dust?
That's Will's.
I think he thought Will was joking.
He's the guy.
I think he thought Will was joking.
I think he was like, oh, no, here we go.
Let's do it a little bit.
Then he legit slapped him and he just says it like, yo, this guy just slapped me on national TV.
I'm just saying in that moment, you're not in fight or flight mode.
No.
You're in like complete shock mode.
Yeah.
And so I'm not like, I'm not angry at him for not doing anything back.
Obviously, you'd want to see him at least tackle him or do some shit.
But it is so unbelievable.
All of us watching are like, I can't believe this.
Imagine being there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I definitely empathize with him for that.
But like, you got to address that shit, fam.
You got to start going.
Right?
You got to say something.
I'm going to see you after or something like that.
I'll see you backstage.
Yeah, boom.
Why Will Smith Slapped Him00:03:40
Even if you don't, leave immediately.
We'll handle this backstage.
Yeah.
Hey, Will.
Some of us have a little bit more professionalism.
Some of us have a little bit more decorum.
The show must go on.
I need to be in Zootopia six.
Okay.
But I'll see you backstage.
Yeah.
That's my point.
Yeah.
Like, I don't think you fight because it's like, if you fight, you're fucking up your whole bag your whole life for what?
Your honor?
Nah, you could fight.
Your ego, bro.
You're right.
You're at the front of your honors.
Ain't nothing wrong with Ross.
He got paid 70 fucking million for doing a bunch of movies, Madagascar and shit.
Who?
Chris Rock.
Chris Rock.
Like, he's getting paid dozens of millions of dollars to be in these animated movies.
Like, if he fights.
He's not dozens of millions.
He doesn't sound that impressive.
They're not going to put him in movies now.
If he like scraps and gets on the ground and defends himself, then you're going to be able to do that.
If you get slapped, you're allowed to defend yourself.
They might look.
But here's the problem.
He can't do nothing.
Somebody said, I think Mike Albinet said this.
I would love to see if The Rock said something instead of Chris Rock.
Then is it, keep my wife's name out of your life.
I'm going to give you one.
What if it was Jimmy Kimmel?
What if it was a white dude?
What if it was Ricky Dr. Bass?
Will Smith ain't hitting him, yo?
Yeah.
That's it.
Probably right.
Will Smith.
What do you think, Al?
I don't think he's hitting him.
I don't know.
I think Will was fed up.
And this is the thing.
I think Will.
It could have been anybody.
I think Will was fed up and then he took it out on somebody he knew he could get away with taking, which is why it's so pussy to me.
He's known him for like 25 years.
But he's also made.
I want to make a point about that.
He did make jokes in the past.
I want to make another point.
Nobody in that room was rooting for Chris Rock.
What do you mean?
Keep this in mind.
All the people in that crowd have been made fun of by Chris Rock for the last decade.
These are people who live in their own little Hollywood bubbles.
Nobody ever gives them pushback.
Nobody ever teases them.
Nobody ever says nothing to these people.
They don't have a sense of humor.
You go see these shows and they're like groaning about all these jokes and then applauding when the joke is virtuous, right?
Yeah.
They see they have to go to these events because they want the public applause.
They want the public validation, but they know that they're going to get caught in the crosshairs from a Chris Rock joke and it drives them crazy.
And they were happy.
Did you see the way Samuel Jackson dapped up Will Smith?
Did you see the way that Denzel and Bradley Cooper?
Watch it, watch it.
I'm just saying.
Denzel a loser.
No, Joe, Joel, Joe, Joy, Joe, Joe.
I gotta give credit.
I gotta give credit.
I gotta get it.
Keep his name out your mouth, okay?
I will.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is like they were on the side of Will.
These are people.
A lot of the people there are humorless.
It's not like we have actual comedians and audience.
They can't go back and forth with Chris Rock.
So they were loving the fact that Will got up and slapped the bully.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think they were rooting for it.
But again, Will Smith was the bully.
If you get bullied and then you pick on another kid that won't do anything to you, you're not a bully.
Yes.
And Will Smith is choosing to stay with the woman that's causing all the bullying.
Whether that's that's his choice, fine.
But if that's the bed you made, you lie in it.
I'm honest.
I'm being serious with you.
And this is not my idea.
So I can't give credit, but I won't give credit to this person because I don't want him to get in trouble.
But a friend of mine was like, I sincerely believe that Jada is a witch.
Like with spells and shit.
Is this 1300s?
Are you talking about shows in the 1300s?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Being serious.
I spent the weekend up in wherever we hung those witches.
What is it called?
Salem.
Salem as a James.
No, I spent the weekend up in Salem.
No, no.
I was talking to somebody, and they were like, no, I think she's like a literal witch.
Like, I think she has him mind-controlled.
And he laughed at the beginning, at the beginning.
That's what fucked him.
Staying With The Bullying Woman00:03:05
Yeah, can we discuss that?
Okay, the joke happens.
It's a very easy joke.
Everybody who's watching now has already heard it.
And not a mean joke.
By the way.
Not even that mean.
He laughs, though.
And then she gets a little bit.
She rolls her eyes.
Okay.
She rolls her eyes.
And I think he went up there because he had to make up for the fact that he was.
That he laughed.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break.
We need to talk about the infamous tour.
New York City, thank you so much.
Right now, there are only single seats available for Radio City, man.
That is fucking unreal.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Thank you guys so much.
That's absolutely amazing.
That's 12,000 tickets we sold, man.
That is, that's big numbers, bro.
That's big numbers.
Radio City is going to be a night, and I'm so fucking proud to do it.
And I'm so thankful for you guys spreading the word and means the world to me.
So thank you guys so much.
And then so this weekend we're coming to Montreal.
I think those are sold out.
All we got left is Atlantic City and Vancouver.
That's it.
So, hey, theAndrewSchultz.com, you want to come see the infamous tour?
Those are the places.
And then it's a wrap, man.
Then we get out this special and then we start from scratch and that's going to be fun.
Hell yeah.
So Akash, what you got cooking?
Yo, you guys want to see a comedian make fun of people without getting slapped in his face?
If so, then watch the CrowdWork special tomorrow on my YouTube page, Akash Singh Comedy.
That's right.
We're doing two specials back to back.
That's what we're doing.
Also, sorry, I have to record this in my camera phone.
Miles is a dumbass.
So that's what that is.
But anyway, two comedy specials, two months, Akash Singh back-to-back, the Crowdwork special.
Check it out on my page.
Hopefully Miles remembers to drop a banner right here.
Peace.
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Don't Get Upset As A Joke00:15:17
And he's like, oh, fuck.
I laughed at my girl when she was feeling uncomfortable.
I'm going to hear about this for days.
Let me go stand up for her.
That's why I give him a little bit of an out.
Within those couple of seconds, he wasn't thinking, oh, this is my friend.
Oh, this guy's a little than me.
Oh, I'm going to go pick on him.
Like, it was just a reaction to his wife.
It could have been anybody in the world.
Hundreds of millions of people.
You don't do that.
You got to think.
Like, the fact that he's getting celebrated for this is crazy.
All say if anybody did anything to your wife, you're going crazy.
Well, that's the thing.
If you are defending your wife, I think that it's forgivable.
I think most people will forgive.
But I'm getting two reactions to this.
I'm getting like my friends outside the biz going, well, yeah, he's talking about his wife.
Like, it's going to happen.
And then I'm getting my friends that are inside the biz going, like, Chris Rock was a complete professional and Will Smith was an absolute buffoon.
Shouldn't have done it.
I'm getting a little bit.
I'm getting a little bit of both reactions, but I would also say context matters.
If it's an innocent joke about my mostly innocent joke about my wife, and then he says, Oh, that was a nice one.
Like, I'll talk to him after.
100%.
If I'm upset, I'm going to talk to you after.
I'm not going to walk up on stage and slap you in the mouth specifically because you're literally smaller than me.
I don't get away with it.
I guarantee you he's not doing that to a white guy.
Probably not.
Definitely not the rock.
A big motherfucker, he ain't slapping the rock.
He ain't doing that.
He ain't saying nothing.
I'm telling you, in that moment, you turn to your wife and you see your wife is upset by something somebody else screamed.
You're going to have to do it.
If he just screamed, keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth.
That would have been wild.
But okay, that's hey, whatever.
That's crazy.
You don't think you don't think it's like he was kind of enjoying it a little?
Like what you mean?
You don't think like his wife's out here like banging dudes and shit, embarrassing him all over the fucking internet.
He's about to leave it.
Let's like, he's fucked.
He's fucking too.
Yeah, but he's become the butt of the joke.
Nobody, very few people are like, yeah, but Will is fucking too.
They're like, yo, Will's wife got banged out by a child that she helped sober up.
That's kind of weird.
Yes.
That's a little fucking twisted.
This girl's a little twisted.
And Will's a little bit of a sucker for staying with her.
If I promise you, if it was a guy that helped a girl get sober when she was in her early 20s and then fucked her, the guy would be a real piece of shit to everybody.
To everyone on earth.
I think what's happening right now for Will is like he realizes the fame is slipping and he's done so much to hold on to it.
Like when the movies weren't really working, he hopped on social media and he was in every Instagram, every TikTok, YouTube.
And he is by far the most.
And look, when I say talented, like maybe Jamie Foxx is the most talented, but like he is a superstar, one of the most engaging characters ever.
He's so motivated.
Has the brain, has the charisma, has it?
16 years old, like a star.
Genius.
It.
He's fucking awesome.
And he's realizing it slip away.
And you got to realize, the guy's 50 years old.
He's been the guy since he's 18.
The guy.
His whole identity is wrapped around being the guy.
And it's slowly fading away.
And the movie roles aren't being handed to him like they used to.
The movies aren't crushing like they used to like they used to.
And yes, he got an Oscar, but nobody gives a fuck about the Oscars anymore.
People aren't talking about Will in the way that they used to talk about Will.
And I think what's happened to him is the same thing that's happening to, or happened to Jim Carrey.
Like Jim Carrey was the guy.
And the second he stopped being the guy and it slowly started fading away, he had this fucking crisis, dude.
Right?
He had this crisis where he's on the red carpet talking about, oh, life is meaningless and it means nothing.
It's like, oh, if you weren't the guy, I guess life is meaningless, right?
And I think right now, I mean, didn't he put out this whole book about crushing his ego and all this other stuff?
It's like, anybody who's putting out all this information about how to live life is struggling life.
You know, I was thinking that.
This is perfect proof of it.
That might be a more true point because what I was thinking is he was not built for this age of transparency of celebrity.
Like back in the 90s when celebrity was very crafted, he plotted out his entire career.
This is how I become the biggest movie star on the planet.
And he did it.
And then it shifted to, okay, but now we want transparency from our celebrities.
Kevin Hart is brilliant at it.
I think Will Smith was like, all right, let's leap in.
And he had these YouTube videos, Facebook videos that were like cultivated and great, but then he kept getting more transparent.
And then we're just like, you're having sex.
You're vomiting after you have sex.
Like, well, this guy's a fucking weirdo a little bit.
Saying all these crazy things.
And it's like, yo, he got too transparent.
And you know what?
They wanted to, I don't know if they wanted this, but it looked like they were on the trajectory to be like the new Kardashians.
Remember, we're like, oh, shit, the Smith family's like the positive Kardashians.
Yes.
Y'all can't handle the smoke.
Kardashians can, they love the smoke.
They sit in the smoke.
They're born in the fucking smoke.
You talk about these motherfuckers all the time.
They don't care.
They still hanging out with one another, living with one another, loving on one another.
Like, say what you want, but those motherfuckers are tight-knit.
That might be some Armenian shit, low-key, but they are tight-fucking-knit and deal with craziness all the time.
They tried it.
Now, granted, their lives are way crazier.
Like if they're actually swinging.
They try to do the full transparency shit, but then not really share what the real was.
Yes.
And then all of a sudden the real started coming out and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, who we can't protect our image.
Nah.
And she's a bigger culprit of that than Will, I think.
Her red table talk.
The red table talk is, hey, let's be transparent.
She had an hour-long episode with Will.
I watched it.
I thought it was dope.
The first one where they talk about marital troubles.
And then you find out a year later, they're fucking everybody else.
And you're like, oh, you guys are liars.
You're phonies.
What, what, what, what?
I'm just saying perspective.
If it's perspective.
If it's an arrangement, like, that doesn't mean they have a bad marriage.
It could be a healthy marriage.
And that's what they agreed to.
Well, in that same first hour, she's like, we're not swingers.
We don't have an open relationship.
Yeah, they'll be dead on that.
Okay, that's like a ball, like a ball's face lie.
Yeah.
You think the Kardashians are telling us all the truth?
Like, they tell us what they want us to do.
So that's the same shit.
And if you find out, they're not upset about it.
All right, you failed.
Exactly.
We're not lying.
We're not running from it.
I only had one surgery, wink, wink.
And then if you say they had a thousand surgeries, they're not slapping anybody in the mouth.
They love that we say they got a thousand surgeries.
They love it.
We're talking about their asses.
They love every time we talk about them.
Put my name in your mouth.
I love it.
Yes, the Kardashian motto.
Put my name in your mouth.
Went on a show and got her ass like three X-rayed just to prove to people that it was real.
That's how much the shit was bothering her that people were saying her ass is fake.
It makes her look cooler if her fat ass is real content.
Like, are you kidding me?
But the fact that you have to prove it, you know, that means it's getting to you.
I don't think it's getting to you.
I just think it's news and they're going to lean in.
And then all of a sudden, you have this episode where it's like, we're going to get x-rayed to see if her ass is actually when a rapper gets their diamonds checked on Instagram live.
Like, yo, let me check my diamonds because I'm going to watch that more content.
Even if it gets to you, it's all right.
I'm going to say it, but if they're saying it, I'll handle it within my show and get ratings for it.
But I'm not going to be upset at everybody saying, and fuck you, how dare you?
You put your life out there.
A guy made a fairly harmless joke.
It triggered something.
It's not fairly harmless because it depends on the person that the joke is like.
Jada gets to say that.
There's a video of Jada looking into a camera saying, All I can do at this point is laugh about it.
And then she laughs about it, talking about her alopecia.
So laugh about it, yo.
Laugh.
This is a perfect opportunity to laugh about it.
Because you put that out there.
Reality.
You didn't say, Hey, don't make jokes about this.
It really bothers me.
If you said that and Chris did it, that's kind of fucked up.
I still defend the joke, but I see how you get triggered.
But if you say, I all I can do at this point is laugh about it as a comedian.
I go, oh, she says she can laugh about it.
Also, G.I. Jane's hot.
And G.I. Jane is a sex machine.
It's so bad if you're Debbie Moore and you wake up.
You're like, wait, someone said they look like me and they got the shit slipped out of her.
She's probably like, wait, what?
What?
What's the wrong about being G.I. Jane?
See how much I worked out for?
I looked amazing as G.I. Jane.
And Jada had short hair her whole life.
Yeah.
Like, she's not somebody that her whole worth was her hair.
Yeah, but you know, women and their hair.
It's very important to.
So, like, even if she rocked a short-haired douche, it wasn't a shave.
Yeah.
It was a choice.
Yeah, yeah.
I understand that.
Uh, having alopecia is an autoimmune disorder.
So if we make fun of people's disorder, that's a fucked-up joke.
Hey, bro, I'm just a bad person.
I just don't see allergies.
That's an autoimmune disorder.
But it is a disorder.
And it's like, I got allergies.
You're not saying make fun of disorder.
But he's also a comedian.
Like, yeah.
Like, they knew it could be roasting.
And also, it's not like that.
That's like somebody had Tourette's and you're making fun of that Tourette.
She's a public figure.
She's not a public figure.
If she stays out of the limelight, even if she stays out of the limelight and she's coming with her husband to a thing and then you go out of your way to talk shit about her and she's not famous and doesn't try to be famous, that's that's to me, that's crossing the line.
If you are a celebrity who happens to be married to somebody, it's actually kind of sexist to be like, oh, she can't take a joke.
Your husband has to speak on your body.
Down syndrome is a disorder.
And if we made fun of Down Tinger people, we would be fucked up.
That's why we never do it over there.
That's my point.
Like, yo, people with Down Cinder deserve respect and human rights and love, and society should accommodate them.
But at the same time, as a comedian, that's my job.
Like, I'm going to make jokes.
I'm not going to make jokes too.
I see you as equal.
You get these jokes.
Yeah.
And not everyone should do them in person.
They should smack the shit out of you.
And that would be their right if they felt upset about the joke.
I think it's not at all.
It's not at all.
I misspoke.
But I mean, like, if they got upset by the joke, that's on them.
They, you can't just be like, hey, don't get upset as a joke.
But you're making fun of their disorder.
Yeah, but I'm a comedian.
Okay, but people can get upset at a joke.
100%.
They don't have a job.
You have the right to get upset, but you don't have the right to walk up and slap.
I say, I am not justifying a slap.
I think the slap is wrong.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
He's has the right to be upset, but you have the right to act like that.
You can talk to me after the show.
You got my number.
You got whatever you want.
If you were upset about 2016, if he, I read one person on Twitter, which could be bullshit, that I heard that Will privately asked him not to make any more jokes.
I heard that.
If he did that and Chris still made the joke, Chris, be ready, bro.
Be ready.
So you would just now.
Oh, wait, say that again.
Say that part again.
That's important.
Y'all heard what?
What?
The chain mails over here?
He's going there and shit.
I'm going to put his shoulders off down.
My back hurts.
Holland.
This country-ass town.
My man is country ass now.
Did you see the 2016 jokes?
Yeah.
Do you want to watch them real quick?
Yeah.
I'm coming, protesting.
I'm like, is she on a TV show?
Jada's going to boycott the Oscars.
Jada boycott in the Oscars was like, me boycotting Rihanna's panties.
I wasn't invited.
So, is that justification to get slapped?
No, but seven years later.
No.
Not at all.
But if it is true, what y'all were saying, that there was a conversation between Will.
That's not verified this whole story.
Somebody making that shit up on Twitter.
It's one person said on Twitter, so you don't know if it's real or not.
If it's real, that's a different thing.
I tend to believe it's not because, again, Chris Rock is aware of how thin he is.
The motherfucker swimming for exercise.
You know what I mean?
Like, he knows he ain't fighting.
He's not trying to fight a guy who played Ali.
And Dove was saying that Chris Rock has had a broken arm and that he's been like in a cast or in a sling for the last few months.
So it's possible that the arm ain't even working.
He just took off the sling or whatever so he could deliver the jokes.
Now, I don't know if Will Smith knows this, but if he does, he's double pussy because he knows that Chris ain't going to come back.
Yeah.
I don't think Will knows that either, to be fair, but it's still a pussy movie.
I mean, Chris Rock got to smash Jada.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
100%.
Jada would do it.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
You take home the Golden Globe.
Are you talking about her head?
Hit his head.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got to smash the mother.
Oh, the mommy.
Because she's the first vampire.
Like, you take her out, and then all the others normalize.
You go to Will and be like, call me daddy now.
Actually, you got it.
Is it crazy that they let him stay the rest of the day?
It's fucking insane.
I couldn't believe it.
That's insane.
Okay, I couldn't believe it.
That's where you call out Hollywood.
You do that shit.
You do that shit.
Oh, we're going to talk about Hollywood because all these motherfuckers care about is their stupid fucking awards and nothing else matters outside of it.
I mean, they gave Roman Polanski an absentee award.
This is the guy who was a legit pedophile, convicted, living in France where you could do that.
Gave him an award.
Half the people stood up clapping.
Fucking crazy.
These guys are.
But the movie was fire on pieces of shit.
There's a little bit of Hollywood in your life.
A little bit.
Was the penis that good?
The guy wasn't even Jewish who played it.
You said Patriot Brody is definitely a Jewish.
Oh, yes.
Is he?
He got a big nose.
Don't make him a Jewish.
I literally thought he was Italian.
He could be Italian.
Yeah.
So, all right.
The point is, he doesn't get kicked out.
I mean, you do this in a basketball game.
You're kicked out.
You're suspended.
You do kick out.
Anywhere you're kicked out.
Anywhere you're kicked out.
You don't get kicked out there because we all know that they know he's going to win.
Yes.
Right?
And they don't want to fuck up the live show.
And they don't want to make a scene.
Yes.
And they don't want it to be bad.
I was assuming he would get kicked out and then they would give the award to somebody else.
100%.
He should have slapped our fucking presenter.
Son, it's crazy.
You ask this guy to come here and present an award and then he gets attacked.
Then the guy sits there and gets a fucking award at the end of the night and people are going nuts for it.
That's foul.
That's foul.
Crazy, dog.
And what's crazy is that he wasn't one of the hosts.
Will Smith was nominated for the Oscar.
He had the power before the award to say, I'm not showing up if Chris Rock is performing and roasting.
Or you hit Chris and go, yo, if you say some shit about my girl, I'm going to beat the shit out of you beforehand.
Simple as that.
Do you think he knows?
Who said it to him already?
He's assuming that.
If that's true.
We're assuming some random tweets are true.
Sure.
That's not verified in any way, shape, or form.
But I don't know.
I'm safe to assume that he probably didn't like that he was making fun of his girl at the 2016 shits.
Yeah, but I also don't know if Will said anything.
Yo, so he's the kind of guy who let his wife fuck somebody else and stay with her.
But he should have.
The question on Twitter seems to be, why is Will Smith so upset about a joke about his wife and not his wife hooking up with other guys?
Oh, like that should be the thing that makes you more upset.
And I think Tom Segura even said it, like, we know who you really want to slap, but you can't slap that person.
So you're slapping the people that are talking shit.
Yeah.
I don't know.
We don't know what goes on in their private house.
I think they have an open marriage.
It's pretty clear.
People know girls Will has fucked.
And the fact that the public knows that, I think he's probably fucked 10 times more.
So then why does he slap Chris Rock?
Because he's that protective of his wife.
He's fed up.
He's been the puncher.
He's fed up why?
He's been the punching bag for the past three years.
Why is he the punching bag if it's an open marriage?
No, because can't he talk about how open he is?
I think honestly, he's doing that to protect his wife.
That's what we're saying.
Everything's to protect his wife.
And his wife ain't protecting him.
Irony Of Protective Husbandry00:07:50
His wife is out there like, yeah, we had an entanglement.
Yeah, this.
She wasn't even...
Yo, when you watched that, she wasn't even remorseful.
She wasn't even remorseful.
Like, she was almost angry when he brought it up.
When he says entanglement and he questions the word, she gets irritated.
That's what I said.
Entanglement.
Like, bitch, you cheated, bro.
No, it's nothing wrong.
Even if it wasn't cheating, you know, I look stupid.
And you out here angry that I brought up that you fucked up.
We supposed to keep this on the low.
You couldn't control and keep it on the low.
And I look stupid.
And you angry at me?
I'm the one getting embarrassed.
And then I call you out on wording and you get, yeah, that's what I said.
No, it's not what you're saying.
I agree with you guys.
She could be a bitch, bro.
No, she could be out.
I agree with you.
We don't know.
There's only one way.
You know what take that out?
I've never seen them on an island.
This is a bit of a cocky take, but it's out there that he is in an emotionally abusive relationship.
And that's why he cares so much about what she thinks and her reaction to something.
Oh, Kosh, can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Please.
Would an emotionally abusive person date someone who's like 25 years younger than them, get into a relationship with them?
That's a good point.
He's not like a drug addict or anything.
Yeah.
Would that emotionally abusive person do that?
Maybe?
Maybe.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Controlling emotionally abusive person might get in relationship with someone fresh off a drug habit that's kneading.
You think maybe they would do that?
Of course she's emotionally abusive, bro.
Okay, so I don't understand how that's not coming up more.
And it's all Will, the fact that he's being celebrated for this is fucking mind-white.
Who's being celebrated?
Dude, it is 50-50.
Will is being celebrated.
It's 5050.
If you talk about my wife, and it's a lot of the same people who are going to be able to do it.
You don't want to talk about your wife because your wife keep her mouth shut.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it's very simple.
Like, all of us got girls, we got wives.
We are choosing not to make them public figures.
They are choosing not to make our lives public.
Maybe you get little shots of our life, but it's not every little fucking bit of trials and tribulations that we go through.
They want that.
Context matters.
Your wife is not his wife.
You want to talk about alopecia, about your struggle with alopecia and how you're getting over it and all that stuff, but then you don't want the world to also talk about it.
That's not how you're talking about it when nobody else can.
It's a disorder.
What does that mean?
You retard it.
We talk about you.
Yeah, but I could take it.
And it's like, I told you guys that because I know the jokes are going to come.
But it's like, if you are going to be.
Just because she's talking about her.
She's monetizing it.
She's not just talking about it.
She's monetizing it, saying on a thing she gets paid on.
I just have to laugh at it.
I'm going to watch that and say the bitch could take a joke then.
I don't know.
It's still not the okay to make fun of a disorder, bro.
Yeah, 100%.
And one that probably affects her every day.
He also didn't say...
Like, I have alopecia, but it was from stress and sleep when I wasn't sleeping at all.
And I had fucking crap circles in my motherfucking head.
That's true.
I remember that.
And I had to fucking shave and just do fine hairstyles where I can hide it.
And like, that shit was annoying to deal with.
It was sensitive.
It sucked if you guys made no.
Drew knew about that, and Drew didn't make jokes.
Yeah, well, because I'm very sensitive to hair loss.
But I'm just saying, like, men lose their hair all the time.
We're supposed to be sensitive about a girl doing that.
That's equality.
I'm just saying, you take shots at everything.
I do take shots at that point.
So the fact that you didn't do that, you felt like, hey, maybe I shouldn't take a shot at it.
That's not it.
It's because you were working like 22 hours a day and I felt bad.
I didn't want you to stop that.
I actually cared more that you worked 22 hours a day than you had hair.
Yeah.
No, that changes things.
If I had known you had Alopecia, I'd have definitely made fun of you a lot.
Yeah.
Why did you tell us?
No, but I thought his name is short for Alopecia.
We call him Al.
I really did think that for a long time.
They're like, no, it's Alex with two X's.
I'll see how things are.
But you didn't talk about it.
You didn't make it a thing.
If you had said on this podcast, all I could do is laugh on it.
I'm going to make fucking jokes, dog.
If you told me that off podcast in private, it's a very different thing.
I handled it very differently.
And that's not even all jokes aside, I'm going to handle that completely differently than a person who preaches transparency, vulnerability, and the ability to laugh at yourself.
I'm still not justifying Will hitting him, but he has a right to be mad and stand up for his wife.
You always got a right to be mad.
Yeah, stand up for your wife.
Like that, and stand up for your girl.
Like, that's the thing that people like.
We never ever say you're not allowed to not, uh, you're not allowed to react a certain way to a joke.
Like, everybody's allowed to react whatever way they want to a joke.
That's fine.
Like, you can be angry, you could fucking spite someone.
You can walk out of a comedy show.
Leave.
That's completely fine.
Yeah, like all those things.
It's when you start interrupting or when you put your life on someone else, it's super entitled.
It's super privileged.
Like, he did the most Karen shit ever.
He stopped the whole show.
Yeah.
For how he felt.
It wasn't even how his wife felt.
He didn't even check to see, hey, no, no, no.
It was all about his wife, how she felt.
He saw the role.
Hold on, hold on.
He assumed his wife wanted to be defended in that moment.
We don't know.
He did not lean over and go, Hey, how are you feeling?
Is everything okay?
I'm about to go fuck this guy up.
It happened.
It didn't happen too fast for that.
It happened way too fast for that.
You don't think she looks at him and goes, You're going to let him talk to me like that?
Now you blaming the woman like you always do.
Why was she talking like that?
Why was she dressing?
She might have said that shit.
And then, and we didn't see that.
And then he's like, All right, fine.
I got to do something now.
Because he laughs at first and looks like he's going to laugh.
And a lot of times he doesn't say that.
Where she casts a spell, bro.
There's an angle, duck.
You can see it.
She does some shit.
And then Will just wakes up.
Literally.
He just walks on over and just slaps.
So I hear what you're saying.
I just think he's making an assumption and he is stopping an entire show that a lot of other people are there for.
Like there was somebody who their whole life, corny, it may be, but their whole life was about that award that they were.
They were about for best actor and then they lost to the guy that slapped everyone.
Or the director thing that he was giving away, the documentary.
Yeah.
I could feel bad for Quest Love because Quest Love rolled.
Oh, that was.
Wait, what doc was that again?
Yo, Quest Love got emotional and nobody gave a shit.
Summer.
But isn't that crazy?
He's only dedicated.
That shit was fire.
He stole Quest Love's moment.
Yeah, he stole his veil.
He stole his mom.
I think he died.
And then Will Smith is going to ruin that moment for that guy because he's upset about how his wife feels.
Will did the wrong thing.
Yeah.
Now, again, I'll say this at shows.
This motherfucker got sorry to cut you, but he had a whole show about stand-up comedy now.
That's all.
Oh, yeah, that's a fucking irony, isn't it?
Goku or something.
Yeah, you're going to put on a bunch of comedians, but then you're going to dictate what they can and can't say.
Get the fuck out of here, dude.
Get the fuck out of here.
There's also a lot of jokes.
I didn't see Chris's whole thing, but like every Oscar's monologue has little, it's kind of roasty, right?
Like Ricky Gervais goes up there and is like, you know what you're getting with Chris Rock.
You know what you're getting.
And I'll say this, and I'm going to definitely say it more often now.
But at shows, I'll say shit like, yo, I'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings.
I understand I'm 5'7.
I can't fight.
So if I hurt your feelings, just give me a little thing and I'll move on.
But there are people coming to a comedy show.
They're not fucking Hollywood celebrities living a life of transparency.
You sit in that chair, you could get jokes.
That's what it is.
And don't preach equality and women can do anything they want to, and then think that your wife can't take a joke when she's a fucking celebrity and has been for 30 years.
I just don't like the thing.
Oh, you can't take a joke.
Like, yo, jokes can make people feel however they're going to be.
It can hurt your feelings, but you can't take a joke.
You can't take a joke if you stand up and slap somebody.
You can take a joke if it hurts your feelings and you talk to somebody after that.
You still handle it the right way.
You couldn't take that joke, but in a completely acceptable fashion.
But if you can't take a joke to the point that you stand up, destroy a fucking lifetime achievement for so many people, make it all about you and your wife, slap a skinny kid in his face, then go sit down and talk shit.
It's like, bruh, that's not, you can't take a joke.
You can't take a joke.
She can't take a joke.
Handling Offense Properly00:02:19
I was kind of thankful for the moment because that shit was completely.
Great moments.
That shit was fine.
We made it.
That shit was funny.
I didn't know what we're going to talk about today.
So fun.
That was all we had to talk about.
We were salivated.
I was so excited.
I was at a party.
And this shit happened.
I rewound it.
Everybody takes out their phone.
Like the whole party stops.
Like, everybody's dancing having a good time.
And then you just see how it's like, boom, boom, boom.
Everybody's having their phones out.
Like, it's just the whole party just people.
They're locked on, right?
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Exodus Crypto Wallet Features00:15:17
Now let's get back to the show.
I rewound the thing and then taped it to send to you guys.
I was like, guys, we got it.
We got it.
We got it.
And did you see this though?
Yeah, let's go to Will's Excellence.
Crying and shit.
So sad.
To do what we do, you got to be able to take abuse.
You got to be able to have people talk crazy about you.
Shock people.
In this business, you got to be able to have people disrespecting you.
And you got to smile.
You got to pretend like that's okay.
I want to apologize to the academy.
I want to apologize to you.
They cut something out.
Nominees.
That looks like an edit.
Yeah, but it's not important.
This is a beautiful moment.
And I'm not.
Hold on.
I'm not crying for winning an award.
It's not about winning an award for me.
It's about being able to shine light on all of the people, Tim and Trevor and Zach.
and Sinaya and Demi and Anj New and the entire cast and crew of King Richard and Venus and Serena, the entire Williams family.
They did it.
What'd they cut?
So they cut.
Will Smith gets on stage and he goes, Richard Williams was a fierce protector of his family.
And he made it as if he was doing what Richard Williams was do.
And he's like, he's carrying on the legacy of Richard Williams.
Protecting his family.
Richard Williams.
Sometimes loves make you do crazy things.
Sometimes love.
Yeah, that's a bullshit justification.
Murderers could say that and get off.
Yeah, Puerto Ricans be murdering their wives and shit and their girlfriends all the time for love.
Literally every abusive person.
You see Romeo and Juliet?
That's love.
That's the final day of a Puerto Rican woman's life as the man gets to finally admit that he loves her by murdering her.
Who does love?
Yes.
It's a ridiculous thing.
But he says, basically, I'm carrying on the legacy of Richard Williams by protecting my family.
Richard Williams took two little black girls from Compton and made them the greatest ever at an all-white sport from nothing.
None of them defied all the odds.
Will Smith couldn't take a joke about his wife who has cheated on him and is probably possibly emotionally abusive.
They're not the same.
You're not Richard Williams.
You're not a fucking hero.
And people clapped.
That's how delusional actors are.
And that's how much of a world of grandioseness they live in.
They put themselves on such a pedestal.
Oh, I am Richard Williams.
No, you're not.
You're a fucking genius who got 800 on his SATs.
And then you made brilliant career moves.
And now you're emotionally abused.
And you can't see that that's a thing.
You're not Richard Williams, who was also a little crazy, but the guy was fucking, I mean, he did some beyond improbable shit.
That's a great point.
You are not at all Richard Williams.
Comparing yourself to him is insulting.
Insane.
Yeah.
Insane.
And then he says, like, I am here.
God put me here to be a river through which some shit flows.
It is all just, it's a crazy person.
That's Kanye.
What Kanye did to Taylor Swift is nothing compared to this.
And Kanye was vilified.
And we're looking at Will Smith like, nah, this guy did it.
What did he do?
He slapped a skinny kid, dude.
Yeah, he did.
I'm telling you, if you did that shit to The Rock, even Joe Rogan, you would have my respect because you're ready to go to blows with somebody that could probably fuck you up.
Yeah.
But you did it to Chris Rock.
He probably did a bunch of like training and shit.
Hey, you do it to Joe Rogan another stand-up.
He makes a joke and you're upset and y'all roll around.
Hey, man, you went for it knowing this could not end well for me.
Yeah, if you slap Chris Rock full armor of respect.
True, that's also fun.
So that's the thing that bothers you the most is that you're not going to be able to do that.
I don't like bully behavior in general, but that's bully behavior.
Maybe it's because I'm little, but I don't think I'd do it to somebody smaller than me.
I think your size is shown.
I don't think I would do it to somebody smaller than me.
And I have said this to everybody in this room probably at some point.
Like, yo, I don't want to be overly disrespectful because I'm mindful of how little I am.
And I think that's fucked up that, oh, I've been here longer than you or I, whatever, so I can say any crazy shit to you and you won't beat me up because I'm small.
I like that a little dude got fucked up, though.
Why?
Why is that?
Because they hide behind themselves being little.
See, that's what I'm saying.
I won't do.
I've said that to you, Al.
I'm not going to cross a line with you because you would kick the shit out of me.
Not because we can't kick the shit out of you because we look like Will.
And that's why I don't cross that line because I don't want to take advantage of that.
That's smart.
But there are not you.
Other people that are little cross that line all the time thinking they could hide in how little people are.
They can get fucked up.
But Chris Rock didn't do that.
Second.
Chris Rock didn't do that in this situation.
I don't like that Chris Rock got fucked up, but little people need to get checked.
Yes.
I'm acting crazy out with you.
I'm with you on this.
Go ahead.
Keep going.
Little people walk around chirping all their shit with their high voices.
Squeaky ass fucking heads up in the air.
Yeah, yeah, looking up at you talking to you.
Looking up at you talking shit like I'm not going to slap the shit out of you talking to me, little boy.
If your chin is tilted up and you're talking shit, you're crazy.
Yeah, you should get slapped.
Yeah.
If it looks for little people, how are you going to get your suit off then, huh?
Say again?
Yeah, if you don't have your squire, you're going to be fucked up.
That's not little.
No, but your squire back in the day probably was mad little.
No, squires were big, bro.
They had to reach the top here with the hell.
There was children?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
No.
You're going to lie to me again, Mark.
That's not little people either.
That's children.
Yeah, but children are mad short.
Yeah, but they can't talk shit.
You know what I mean?
They can't do nothing.
All right, yeah.
Okay, so in conclusion, eh?
Does he keep the Oscar?
I hate that he didn't apologize to Chris Rock.
That was fucked too.
It was intentional, too.
I apologize to the academy.
Fuck you.
That's the thing.
He's worried about his job too.
Of course he is.
He's worried the same way Chris Rock is worried.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a video of him singing fucking Wild Wild West or some shit.
Getting jiggy with it.
Again, Jiggy with it.
After party.
With like a look of concern.
Like he's trying to get jiggy with it, but he's also like, I fucked my whole shit up, didn't I?
You think it fucked up?
Oh, he's leaning in.
Have you seen his social?
No, what did he do?
He posted him and Jada.
He's like, oh, shit, we brought the chaos tonight.
Oh, that was after?
I don't know if it was.
I think that was before.
He commented on it.
His son made a tweet.
Yeah.
That's what we do type of thing.
Or Baltimore nowhere.
Yeah.
So this is his Instagram.
After.
So he posed this.
Me and Jada got all dressed up and chose to choose chaos.
This is afterwards.
I don't know.
This was 22 hours ago.
And then the comment was two hours after that.
You can't invite people from Philly or Baltimore.
Yeah, that's why.
Yeah, that was after the slap.
After leaning in.
Wait, is she bald, bro?
Oh, my God.
I thought she got a little Caesar or something.
Oh, I didn't know that was Jada.
I thought that was a mega mind from the Disney car show.
I did not know.
Oh, I hope Will fuck both you niggas up, bro.
Like, real talk.
Why would you hope that?
Because.
Why would you hope that?
Because you would do the slack.
Why would you hope that?
If he's saying this about y'all wives, you would, you wouldn't do shit.
But you would fuck him up.
Nah, you talk to the guy after.
Like this, again, even if I could fuck you up, I'll talk to you.
Fuck you up after even.
It's not as bad.
You said that.
If you talk about my wife.
Everything you said about Jada today.
Will said that about your girl.
Again, also different.
You're not hitting him.
Also different because our wives aren't celebrities.
They don't put themselves out there.
You put themselves out there.
I swear I would look at you and be like, yo, and it would be a fight.
And I'm not great at fighting with my wife, but it would be a fight where it's like, hey, you also got to understand that comes with this life.
I'm going to defend my wife.
I'm going to defend my wife, but I'm also.
Wait, what was that?
That's what he's crying about.
He's like, as a celebrity, I just have to laugh it off and be disrespectful.
Can we talk about you have to put up with abuse after you abuse somebody?
Being in this life, nobody's saying that what he did was right.
Delusional.
That guy's fucking crazy.
Hitting Chris was wrong.
But him standing up for his wife.
Yo, stand up for your wife, bro.
In private.
If there was just a story of him slapping him after or backstage or some shit like that, if there was a story, everybody would be on it.
100%.
He's not an Instagram concept.
100%, dude.
That's a completely different thing than embarrassing this fucking guy who's also a celebrity and then just making him deal with that for the rest of his life.
Yo, the joke was so little.
It was not a big joke.
Real talk.
The jokes that we said were crazy.
If Will, if what's his face set?
What's his name again?
If Chris Rock said, one of the greatest comedians of all time, the inspiration for me being a sham comedian.
If Chris Rock said the shit that we said, it'd be like, yo, like, low-key, Will's sitting there, like, what the fuck did I do?
Like, that's, you know what I mean?
Why are you talking to me like this?
This is crazy, bro.
Like, why are you going to make me kill you on live TV?
I get that.
100%.
I get that.
And we would never come here and say those jokes if he didn't do what he did.
But you do what you do.
The same, plain and simple.
You think we're going to come here after the Oscars for no reason and do all that?
I mean, you attack one of the boys, bro.
You got a lot of those jokes.
Say again?
Jada got a lot of those jokes online, bro.
Not online.
I don't know.
I'm not talking about here with the August situation.
Yeah, but not about baldness, not about her alopecia, not about her disorder.
I didn't know if she was bald, bro.
I thought that was.
Is it possible Chris didn't know?
That she was bald?
No, that she has a disorder.
That's also possible.
I don't know how tight they are.
Is it possible he's like, oh, yeah, you got short hair?
You look like G.I.J. And she also looks great.
So many women have shaved their heads.
Yeah, like, is it just a look-alike joke?
I'm just saying, that's it.
It's like he didn't know that she is a disorder.
Perhaps.
We don't know that.
And he didn't write the joke.
We don't know that he does.
And definitely the person who wrote it probably didn't know, just sees that she's had a shaved head.
They're not doing this reason.
They're not going to follow her fucking hairstyles.
And like you said, Shorty has had short hair her whole life, practically.
I didn't know it was a disorder.
I didn't either.
I just found out.
I did not know until that.
Really?
Yeah.
I didn't.
So that's probably what it is.
So he didn't know.
No, no, no.
You guys did.
You didn't know she had alopecia.
You didn't know that alopecia was a disorder.
No, I didn't know she had alopecia.
What do you think we think?
How dumb do you think we are?
This guy retarded.
People just lose it out and then they're falling.
What did you think we thought alopecia was?
I didn't know if you knew if it was an autoimmune disorder.
That's what it is.
I'll be trying to tell you.
Hey, put the helmet on, though.
Put the helmet on.
You don't need a helmet, bro.
That reminds me of school, but I had to wear the hard helmet, bro.
You would look fire at that, though.
Yeah, there's no way.
Chris probably didn't know, made the little joke, said it was nothing.
Then we all find out that she got this fucking disorder.
Now it's a bigger deal than it is.
But he wasn't making fun of a disorder.
He was making fun of a haircut choice.
And if you choose to cut your hair like that without having a disorder, which is probably what he thought, then it's okay.
That's your choice.
You think that looks good.
So I'm going to go after it.
And she does look good with a bald head.
She does.
I ain't going to lie.
Bro, she's a beautiful woman.
Absolutely.
That's my point, though.
I think if Will comes out and goes and like trashes Chris, saying like, yo, why are you making fun of my wife with a disorder?
There's a lot of people that are affected by this all over the world, blah, blah, blah.
I think Chris just ends up looking bad.
But now Will tried to be a macho dude about it.
And then now he looks like a clown.
I mean, how insecure is he if he's doing that?
That is radical insecurity.
Like, I know I'm insecure.
If somebody looks at my girl when I'm walking down the street and I want to fight him, I'm like, that is insecurity right there.
But it's real.
It's a real feeling.
It's real, but it's not confidence.
It's not coming.
Like, that is major fucking insecurity that he is getting up in that moment where he knows he's winning the Oscar.
The motherfuckers sit in the front row, practically.
You know, it's your night.
They got a private table.
He's just them.
You got the table to go get the Oscar.
Yeah.
I just did it.
It's your night, even with all of that going to have that type of vulnerability in your relationship.
Like, Shorty's not going to love you if you don't defend her from a joke.
Like, what is you guys have kids together?
You've been to it.
She's a witch.
She's a witch, bro.
I think she might be a witch, dude.
You might be right about that.
Listen, she's under a spell.
Maybe a sorceress.
Maybe a voodoo.
Yo, sorceress sounds way better.
Witches to derogatory.
You gotta give her credit.
She's high level.
She's not hammering.
She's a sorceress.
She got some powerful man in Hollywood.
Yeah.
That's sorcery.
The red woman.
That's sorcery.
That's not witchcraft.
It's sorcery.
Get red woman with the red table, bro.
This woman out here is not to be played with.
I think the person that looked the best in it was Lupita, though.
Why?
She just sit in the background, just getting all the screen time.
And she had a baldie for a minute.
She's like, what's wrong with a baldy?
Exactly.
Like, y'all really fighting over this?
Like, I haven't had this haircut my whole career.
And I don't know anybody that thinks she's unattractive.
Lupita.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
She just looks amazing.
Imagine being in the background of the most huge video of all time.
And then just looking back.
And you're just like, and just like in the back, like posing.
That's the best seat in the house.
What?
Lupitch?
She's in the Will Smith angle?
Bro.
Unbelievable.
I feel like it's going to be great for a career.
Am I crazy for this?
What?
That she's going to get a career bump?
Yeah.
Mark didn't know who she was, and we went on.
I saw her.
She's one of the pops.
He's like, yo, who's that no-name actress behind her?
She's going to have a career.
She's going to enjoy.
She's like the girl from Jordan Peel's movie.
She didn't like her winning.
She is the girl from Jordan Peel's.
That's why I didn't recognize her.
She's also from Blek Pente.
Yeah, I didn't watch that yet.
You haven't seen Blek Pente?
No.
You got to see Bleck Pente.
Yo, it's great.
Yeah, I know.
Blick Pente.
I'm saying, this is just this hypothetical.
What if what if Jada had cancer?
She didn't tell people, and that's the reason why she shaved the head.
First of all, lick if she didn't tell people.
Second of all, there's no way she would have cancer and not tell people to have a fucking conversation about it.
I would sit down with the whole goddamn family, the whole fucking clinic, everybody else that ever had cancer, talk about talk how Will's the reason she got it and call him fucking cancer.
Probably take somebody else's fucking spleen or whatever with the cancer, steal it from their ass, sorceress.
This woman is a sorceress, bro.
Thank God you found a better word than witch.
Yeah.
Which sounds derogatory.
Yes.
It does.
Yes.
What is that other word I'm looking for?
It's a pejorative.
Yeah.
It's a pejorative.
Yeah.
It's a pejorative.
Yeah.
Witch.
But sorceress is like a compliment.
It is a compliment, dude.
This girl's sorceress, bro.
All right.
Can we talk about something else?
Have we concluded this?
Any final thoughts?
Do you guys have a final thought?
Do you guys have any jokes you didn't get out?
Should we get them out now?
Nah, bro.
Not a single one.
It's cool that Chris didn't press charges.
Say what?
Chris chose not to press charges.
Yeah, he's from Brooklyn.
Society chose.
So nothing is.
That's my point.
Is it Brooklyn or is it a whole charger?
Chris backed into such a corner with that.
He nothing he can do.
And people are saying, take away his Oscar.
Shut the hell up.
He got the Oscar for the job he did.
Ain't nobody want to take the second place.
Like, you don't want to get second place and get the trophy off of technicality.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, like you already won it.
Even if they take it away, you won one.
You won one.
Although all the people nominated are like bad motherfuckers.
Like Denzel.
He would kill him if he lost his Oscar.
It would kill him if he lost his Oscar.
He won it for the movie.
That's it.
You know why?
You know what, Denzel Corny?
Because he apparently said to Will, this is what I heard.
He said, that was your highest moment.
And it's like, really?
That?
Not opening number one at the box office eight times in a row.
Is that what he did?
That was your highest moment.
Yeah.
And then he said something like the day there, be careful because the devil's going to come for you.
Bruh, that was the devil.
Who said this?
The devil was the one, the one looking at you after you laughed at a joke.
Like, you really gonna let that happen?
Losing The Oscar Trophy00:02:36
Where'd you hear this?
Son, I'll be hearing shit.
Why are you making lip reading and going in here, seeing the Japanese telecast?
What about Denzel?
I was like, going up to him and like, who was the other dude?
Bradley Cooper?
Yeah.
Went up to Will Smith and they're like, yo, you'll get through this, bro.
Like, they went up to him and like hugged him during the break.
I think they were trying to just like calm him down and make sure he doesn't ruin his career.
How about somebody check on fucking Chris, dude?
Nobody cared.
He ate that.
Somebody said Carlos had a tweet that I was like, yo, Chris Rock got no friends.
That motherfucker got slapped.
Nobody's saying nothing.
Yo, not a single person jumped up to separate, even.
Yeah.
I mean, have it quick.
What do you got?
I mean, did it?
It's a long walk, bro.
They had music.
It was a skit, too.
That's the thing.
Everyone thought it was a scared.
I thought that that was.
I thought it was a skin.
They got a laugh.
Oh, it's going to be like a movie.
I was only slapping her that got like a little pop going.
Yeah.
You were in there.
Nah, that's true, man.
Fuck.
All right, guys, we need to take a break for a second because some of y'all are going Jada Pink and Smith, and you don't have to.
Okay.
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Now, let's get back to the show.
And then the Japanese broadcast is the only one that's getting there.
Oh, wow, they cut it out or something?
They cut it out of the U.S., but Japanese and like Australian didn't have a cut out.
Do you want to play the Japanese?
Wait a minute.
They pre-recorded it?
You're saying this isn't live?
No, there's like a 15-second delay.
So, because everything happened, they just dumped a bunch of you.
Japanese Broadcast Cuts Out00:02:49
You can see Will Smith saying it, but you don't hear it.
But luckily, there's a Japanese broadcast where you can hear the whole thing uncensored.
Have you heard it?
Yes, please translate the Japanese as well, Andrew.
I can do that if you want.
I had no clue because I heard the I didn't know it was Japanese, but I heard the agent in the background.
Yeah, now, do you want to guess before the translator translates what it's going to be in Japanese?
Yeah, I can say exactly what it is.
Okay.
Wow.
Wow.
Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.
Okay.
How do you think that's going to be translated in Japanese?
It's about to come in.
Yeah.
I think it's honey musta.
Honey musta.
Honey musta.
Okay.
That was pretty honestly.
Don't ever say I'm racist.
That was honestly.
So I was saying I'm racist.
Don't ever say I'm racist.
That's a shot.
Don't ever say I'm racist.
Okay.
Did I not just say it?
Did I not just say it?
It's what I do.
It's what I do.
Okay.
A father protects his family.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's what I do.
Oh, shit.
Fuck out of here.
Y'all thought y'all was setting me up to be racist.
And then no.
Well, yes, and then no.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh, bro.
Don't ever stop.
You want to keep going?
Yes, I can fucking keep going if you want me to keep going.
Shit.
Let's see.
Honey must.
Honey muster.
Wow, dude.
It was a G.I. Jane jump.
Keep my fight.
G.I. Jane.
Proper names.
G.I. Jane, no joke about that.
This is fucking.
I'm going to.
Okay.
I'm going to.
I'm going to.
Yeah.
Come a cuz it.
Okay.
Well, actually, Will is more.
All right, let's see.
Dana White posing on the gram.
Okay.
That's what he was going to do.
Yeah, he held back.
That was the funniest part here.
Greatest night in the history of television.
So we are here to give a documentary out.
To give an Oscar out.
That's the best part.
Will had a great tweet when he noticed that.
His nigga was so flustered.
We're here to give a documentary.
We're going to give it out.
We're going to give the documentary.
It's an NFT, actually.
We're going to give this document as an NFT.
That is the best part of that whole shit right there.
He literally said, oh, I could.
NFT Documentary Giveaway00:15:20
You could win.
Oh, I would love to know what you could.
Yeah, it would have been awesome.
Nah, he was about to go in.
It was the out-the-mouth thing.
Yeah.
That's what he was about to do.
Guaranteed.
Keep my wife's name out your mouth.
Keep other dudes out your wife's mouth.
That's what I think the comeback was about.
That would have been so good.
Yeah.
What he would have got.
I mean, that would have been good.
I mean, if he said it, it's a groan, and then Chris Rock is an absolute superstar.
Pleasure.
The tour sells out the next day.
His tour is probably doing fine.
Maybe.
Hey, Chris Rock.
Maybe.
He is Chris Rock.
That's a good point.
I'm just saying.
You never know.
Yeah, he would have gone to that as all-time greatest coach.
I mean, yeah, yeah.
I mean, he's in the shower right now, probably.
Like, God, yeah.
He missed his moment.
I had so many.
He's got lines on.
Everyone's texting him.
Perfect jokes.
Yeah.
He probably watched this.
He's like, I should have said that.
All right, guys.
We are back.
Mark, let's move away from the Oscars for a little bit.
Don't you think?
Let's do it.
Let's do a little feelings, no facts, man.
Feelings, no facts.
This is all feelings.
No facts at all.
We know nothing.
What do you got for us?
Romo Bramovich is dead.
What?
Okay, he's not dead.
He didn't die.
No, he's the owner of Chelsea, Russian oligarch, and is suspected to have suffered poisoning.
Interesting.
Who do you think is trying to take him out?
Arsenal.
Head coach of Arsenal.
No, for real.
What is the, is it, you think it's the Kremlin?
No, like, no one knows.
So the allegedlies are the hardliners that want to sabotage the talks.
Oh.
So these are people we don't know, but it's obviously being permitted that talks can happen, and he's a part of it between their Belarus and Russian border.
Part of the negotiation between Russia and Ukraine.
And two Ukrainian peace negotiators were said to have also been affected.
So maybe Russia poisoned them at the negotiations.
Yeah, in order to not continue negotiating.
Fam, poisoning is old school.
That's how much he loves poisoning.
They do that.
These guys, that's why they're not a threat, actually, I've realized, because they're too in the Stone Age with this shit.
You think?
Like, still doing this kind of warfare is mad ancient, mad antiquated.
We're still poisoning people.
What is this?
Grow up.
And like, what happened, though?
Like, you just got sick for a little bit?
Yeah, and even kill him, bitches.
Yeah, like, what is that?
Food poisoning.
He said, it's curious.
I mean, a bad way.
He's got his eyes.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Huh?
Piercing pain in the eyes.
And then, and then they recovered.
Is he blind?
I mean, come on.
So shortly after allegations emerge, an unnamed U.S. official was quoted by Reuters as saying, and this is again from Reuters, that the intelligence suggests that the men's symptoms were due to environmental factors, not poisoning at all.
Oh, of course.
Of course.
So, what do we think?
I don't know, but that's wild, man.
Poison?
Yeah, poison's a wild one.
Well, that's what happened to Old Boyd.
What's his name?
He's the U.S., he was like the U.S. pick for Ukrainian president.
I forget his name.
Zelensky.
Not Zelinsky.
No, this is common.
All dissenters against the government.
Yeah, Victor Yukashenko.
Yeah, remember when we thought we would care if Zelensky said something at the Oscars?
Yeah.
We forgot about that.
Will Smith, Russia might have had him do that.
Oh.
That way, Zelensky don't have to talk and nobody cares.
Shit.
Yeah, so basically, like, this was during an election, like, early 2000s.
You had Yushchenko, who was a like, kind of like American-backed.
His wife was like a U.S., like, worked in the White House.
Like, tight with all them.
And then you had like a Russian pick that was another Ukrainian guy, but like, was tight with Russia.
And the two of them were fighting for it.
And the American dude got poisoned.
And then he has like a skin condition ever since.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
They don't, they still to this day are like, we don't even know what does that.
That's fucking cool.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
He has grayscale, yeah.
Legit, they gave him grayscale, bro.
Holy shit, yeah, dude.
Yeah, Russia is some real live Game of Thrones shit.
Yeah, yeah, they got dragons, probably.
I would believe that wouldn't surprise me.
I would believe that Putin is Daenerys 100.
Yeah, yeah, that other guy, Alex Navalny, he's just locked up in prison.
Yeah, oh, no, he died.
No, I think he did, right?
No, no, I think he just got locked up.
Navalny, I think he's still out here.
He recovered and then he got locked up.
Yeah, yeah, but he's the one that flew back and they were like, Yeah, put me in jail.
I'm about it, right?
But yeah, bro, the poison is just crazy.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
That's why you got to cheers every time.
You got to cheers.
That's what cheersing is.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
You look someone in the eye, you go, yo, cheers.
And then you drink at the same time to make sure you didn't poison it because they're drinking too.
Yeah, but they could just poison your drink and be fine.
Why would that change anything?
No, you switch drinks.
And you also make sure it's poured out of the same thing.
Yeah, I think they, I think back in the day, it was just poured from a bottle of wine or poured from a beer.
I thought it was to clink the cups and get the water to participate in each one.
You just made that, bro.
No way.
I didn't do it.
I didn't make it out.
No, Miles is crazy, bro.
Hard cheers is like, get out of here.
Is it October Fest?
Every time you're on a chair, this guy is shine of beer five.
I'm just poor Miles, dude.
I think he's right.
I got your special Miles.
What are you even Googling right now?
How to make a lie real?
Is that what you do?
How do I lie to my friends?
What's the easiest way?
Was drinking, was drink toasting originally a way to avoid poison?
Clinking glasses started as a way to guard against poisoning.
The clinking two glasses together would cause the liquid from both to spill into one another.
Man, stop.
No, that's not true.
From what?
I believe it.
You think he's on hospitality?
It's an EDU site.
Hospitality inside.
What is he doing for?
Stop EDU.
Educating.
Educating both you dummies.
Fuck, Mark.
I thought we were on to that.
There's no way that's what it is.
Yeah, I don't think this is like a researcher being like, yeah, we suspect that the original cheers.
It was look at each other's lies.
And now you find Martin Santos to look into each other's eyes.
I don't know if a better way.
What's going on?
Because you are in the same cup.
Whoa, it's honorable.
I looked into your eyes.
No, because you push it and you drink from the same shit.
Why even look in the eyes?
There's nothing with the eyes.
It makes sure when you're doing it, you're not slipping some shit in their drink.
Oh, yeah, cheers, And then someone goes, whoop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Y'all never been poisoned.
You don't know nothing about poison.
Motherfucking idiots become drunk, yeah.
Dog, you had nothing.
He's stupid.
Damn, bro.
Damn.
Well, according to this, it says it was a ceremonial traditional thing.
So we're both wrong.
Oh, don't drag me down.
Oh, that's hate, bro.
That would be the same.
He would rather both be wrong.
Just Miles be right.
Both wrong.
That's weird.
That's crazy, dude.
Thank you for saying you were wrong.
Okay, what else we got?
Mariquito.
All right, male birth control.
Yeah.
Just hitting the market.
How does it work?
There was one that came up back in the day, and then it went through like clinical trials and they got rid of it.
And but what it basically did is like paralyze the tail of the sperm so it wouldn't swim.
And so you just like leave this load of like crippled fucking sperm in your girl and then they just don't go for the egg.
Like Christopher Reeves sperm.
Yes.
100%.
It's just sitting there.
Yeah.
So, uh, yeah, but I don't know.
Well, how does this one work?
How does it make you not get pregnant?
I don't know.
There's a bunch of different ones.
It seems like the pill, it says like testosterone dropped in such a way that like the it's not producing viable sperm.
Oh, that's terrible.
I don't want to know that, bro.
And then there's like a gel injection that apparently does one of the shit.
It's like retard sperm that got extra strap and you get it.
Yeah.
Oh, and they can swim no matter what.
Yeah.
And then apparently there's side effects too.
Like some people in the study reported like headaches acne, weight gain.
They also reported some of these in placebo groups.
So it's not necessarily just that.
Isn't that basically the same side effects as female birth control?
Yo, I did a, I had a joke about that, but like all these are the same side effects that came out and then the studies came out for them and then we were like nah, this is too dangerous.
It's like what kind of idiot would actually take this stuff just to not get pregnant?
But them girls were doing it.
Man yeah, it makes more sense that they would do it.
They bear the cost of the pregnancy.
They're doing it to make sure they don't get pregnant and then get over by some guy.
Yeah yeah, a guy's doing it.
So super, you're a cuck, you're a big cuck.
This is literally for athletes, right?
Yeah oh, it's like for athletes, but then if it fucks your testosterone, you can't have it.
Rappers, you can, athletes, you can't with your testosterone.
That's the reason you're there.
Oh, i'm not gonna drop my testosterone at any cost.
That's a great point.
There's athletes who won't even take like Propecia.
So who is this for?
Like finance bro, like back in the day you wouldn't have done it.
What male birth control?
Yeah, like early 20s when out here just slinging, no, I was rubbering up, but that's still a risk.
Dead nah no nah, because these girls are burning bro.
You, with the wrong girls though, you think yeah, you can just look at a girl and tell them and tell her they're burning.
How do you tell?
You just know what do you do?
What's your sign?
Look funny, they off.
Guaranteed 100 off.
Yep yeah, I can spot a's.
I can spot all of that.
Yes, you can.
Yeah, he believes that.
Yes, you can.
You didn't diagnose yourself for 30 something years.
Yeah, that's true, you can spot everything, but retard.
Is that part of like?
You know how like people?
It's his rain man retardation.
He can just spot.
You know how you get to count cards?
Yeah spot, like dogs can smell cancer and like that or whatever like that.
Do you have like an extra super sense?
Yeah, just for t-shirts and you smell chlamydia.
Yeah, it's kind of amazing actually.
Yeah damn ali, i'm nice bro, you're nice dude, not just strong hands bro, you have other things, you have other abilities.
It seems risky for dudes to do male birth control, because if a girl does birth control, it fails.
She still has options, you know.
I mean you could take, like an abortive pill, you could do have a full oh, but if our shit fails, i'm keeping it.
Whoa, whoa.
Yeah, so like there's still risk.
So i'm like I don't know what dude necessarily would go for that, unless maybe, like you're in a marriage and you're like, all right, we can work this out.
Yeah, but the lower testosterone is weird.
Yeah, like I don't know if dudes want to sacrifice that.
Also, you already get older, your testosterone starts to get lower and that doesn't stop us from impregnating these girls.
I don't know if that's necessarily a side effect.
With this specific one people are talking about, why would the risk be different?
Because if women birth control fails, it's the same, but they have the power to get aborted.
We can tell them how we feel, but they can't.
It's like if we're choosing this versus another birth control yeah, I think that's what marks.
Yeah, you're a professional athlete.
You're hooking up with some girl.
It's like rubber up and you get her pregnant because your male birth control didn't work.
She's just like yeah, i'm having your kid.
Yeah, whereas if you use a condom and it doesn't break, you're like okay, i'm good oh, probably good, whereas if you're a girl, let's say you're some like major finance ceo, and some random dude hits it like and you get pregnant because your birth control as a woman didn't work, you can still get an abortion because it's ultimately you're the one carrying the kids.
So you have final say gotcha, whereas with a dude you're like yeah yeah, I don't know man, so maybe if you're married, like that would be good play, but if you're just out here slinging dick in the streets, I feel like you'd still wrap it up.
I think so you got to wrap it up because you got to worry about the other stds.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Like, were you really worried about getting girls pregnant?
Like every girl's on birth control, pretty much like I don't know, as long as you're not famous, you don't really got to worry about getting girls pregnant, I feel, especially in New York.
Every one of these girls on birth control, like literally everyone.
So did you worry about that?
Yes really, I mean yeah, I don't think I would worry.
Why would you worry?
What would make you worry about?
Were you having sex with girls that aren't from New York?
No, actually, no, I wasn't.
Really?
Yeah.
It was New York girls.
It was all New York girls.
Wow.
And you were just unloading a clippy?
Done.
I got some swimmers, bro.
Yeah, bro.
Spin the whole block.
Oh, you were pulling out?
I was pulling out.
Well, for the whole nut or for part of it?
I don't know.
Probably, but he would run it back 100%.
Oh, that's what you do.
And then that's what people don't realize.
If you pull out and then fuck with him, like.
One time I did that.
And then, did that work?
I mean, you got got, right?
Every single time, bro.
You can't do it.
Once a night or you rub her up.
Yeah.
Facts.
And then you're good.
Is it going to be bad for society?
The dudes are like, yo, I don't need a condom.
Yes, dude.
Dude, Herbie's going to go crazy.
Yeah.
Like, uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Also, this is perfect timing.
Like, you come right out of COVID, like, nobody's seen each other, and all of a sudden, we got male birth control.
Like, they haven't had this shit on deck for a minute.
I think they just realized we'll put anything in our bodies now.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, we don't need no clinical trials, nothing.
Just let that shit go.
Oh, okay.
I don't got to worry about getting girls pregnant.
Bet.
Let's go.
I wouldn't want us out here fucking.
They want us out here partying.
Like, all industries.
Alcohol, nightlife, everything goes up.
Yeah.
It's in everybody's best interest for society to be out there fucking.
Also, how much is it the birth control?
Like, how much would it cost to not get girls pregnant?
I'm trying.
I'm curious about that.
It might be cross-prohibitive.
What do you mean?
If it's 200 a month, I don't think dudes are buying it.
Oh, no, I don't know how much it is.
I don't even know if it's actually released.
I think this is, again, like another clinical trial thing.
Most likely, it will be a prescription just like female birth control.
Yeah, insurance.
I'll cover that insurance cover.
That's it.
Dudes don't get insurance, though.
That's also true.
Dudes don't get insurance.
They have the best raw dog in the world.
Yeah.
Okay, what else?
One more.
Okay, do you want to talk about Tiffany Haddish?
Getting asked about her costume?
Yo, I love it.
Do you do a little costume change?
I'm not wearing a costume.
I'm wearing Tol Che Gabbana.
It's called an evening gown, darling.
This is not, no one's paying me for this.
I paid for it.
It's custom.
Thank you.
Time of death for me right now.
You look gorgeous.
I'm not an acting gig.
This is my life.
This is what fame looked like.
This is what success looked like.
This is what money looked like.
This what it looked like.
This is what it looked like.
When is your book coming out called This What It Look Like?
And I will just read the entire book.
That book's not coming no time soon, but I curse you with joy will be out in November.
Okay, okay.
And Layla, the last black unicorn will be out next month.
I'm doing so much right now.
Okay.
I'm just, you know, trying to accomplish a lot of things before 50.
What are you doing?
Well, I'm wondering something.
I'm out here with no shoes on.
I'm jealous.
Here's the thing.
I'm from Chicago.
And you out here with no shoes on?
This is warm weather to me.
I know.
It's hot out here to you, right?
She's actually sweet with her then.
She was.
No, that was shaved.
That was shave.
Yeah, that was shaved.
Absolutely.
Okay, look at you.
No, but she's wearing jealousy.
You're lucky you don't have to be wearing shoes.
She decided to save her a little bit.
But it's like, she's like, what the fuck are you doing barefoot on the street?
So why did she say costume?
That's disgusting.
Why does she even say costume?
When would you even say that?
She missed both.
Costume change and wardrobe change are so they're close.
Come on.
Costume change you do at theatrical performances, wardrobe change at like a wedding event.
So this is only racist because she's black.
Wait, who said it's racist?
Yeah, don't be scared.
Is there evidence that you're not thinking they're trying to, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's what that was.
They're saying that this racist, they're saying it's racist because she's a black woman, so she's wearing a costume.
Where if it was some white actress, she'd be wearing her wardrobe outfit or whatever.
Oh, I didn't take it that way.
Outfit change.
Oh, good.
I'm glad.
I got to get out of this racist mentality.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, then why is this a big fucking deal calling it a costume?
That's what I feel.
OnlyFans Daughter Comments00:07:09
That should be more insulting to Dolce Gabbana than her.
Why she take it personal?
No, she just like, don't call my clothes a costume.
Also, why would she?
Why would she pay for that?
Why can't you just tell Dolce and Gabbana?
I'm gonna wear your shit to the office.
There's no way in hell she didn't.
Oh, maybe they didn't want to dress her.
That's don't wear their shit.
That's on them.
They also were canceled a while ago.
Yeah, that's true.
When they had, like, what they have on their shit, they was asking like racist ass.
Yo, is that the ones that had like the little black kids wearing the crazy sweaters?
Oh, yeah.
That's not what China did.
I just wish she stopped a little bit earlier.
Like, she could have done just a couple burns and then just kept it moving.
Yeah.
But it went a little too low.
I don't think it was that bad.
Y'all think it was bad?
She said, I got slapped.
You really slapped her up.
All right.
I got a hypothetical.
This is the last one, okay?
So apparently, this girl's dad subscribed to her OnlyFans.
Jeez up.
Okay.
That led me to the question: is it better if you had a daughter that had an OnlyFans, would you rather it be super successful or like a huge failure and no one wants it?
That's tough.
Failure.
Failure.
Yeah, you'd want it to be failure, but.
I mean, if it's successful, she's just going down this path forever.
Yeah.
What incentive does she have to get out of it?
Also, I'm definitely going to subscribe to my daughter's OnlyFans.
What?
Son, she's not going to post crazy shit if I'm a subscriber.
Oh, yes, she is.
It's OnlyFans.
She's going to post crazy shit.
Now you're looking at your daughter like that.
Is she going to post crazy shit knowing her dad is looking at me naked?
Yes.
You get me naked.
You're the weird one who's subscribed to a fucking OnlyFans.
Or you make OnlyFans compete with her.
And just shut her down.
Or that.
That'd be my favorite.
You got to shut her down.
You want to sign up to your daughter's OnlyFans.
Yeah, you tell her.
Yo, you want to have his OnlyFans?
I'm signing up.
Huh?
You want to have this OnlyFans?
I'm signing up.
Okay, and then what if she blocks you?
You're going to ask for my past.
I'm going to make dummy accounts.
Yes.
Yeah, it'd be negligent.
I want you to sign up for my daughter's OnlyFans.
I will be there.
I'll do that.
Tell her you're going to jerk off to it.
I'm not going to jerk off about that.
Tell her that's what she thinks about that.
She and she's posing.
Listen, she's what, 20 years old?
You don't think I'm going to look at your daughter's little pussy on the OnlyFans.
She's 20 years old.
She's 20, bro.
Come on.
21.
21, at least.
21?
21.
That's for the streets.
So your daughter's 21 to jerk off to her OnlyFans.
Yeah, got you, fam.
Come on.
But only if my daughter's on OnlyFans, don't do that shit if she's just regular.
But if she's OnlyFans, that's that pussy for the streets.
Correct.
Correct.
That pussy for the streets.
Correct.
That's the thing.
If my daughter on OnlyFans, y'all can look at her pussy on OnlyFans.
Yeah.
If she's on OnlyFans.
I don't believe she will be.
I want you to tell my daughter you're looking at.
Because you failed.
That's not her fault.
That's your fault.
Exactly.
You done failed your daughter.
Why am I looking at your daughter's pussy hole spread?
Oh, my God.
Why?
Because of you.
I'm angry at you.
I'm sending you pictures.
Like, why did you do this?
I'm doing damage control.
I'm telling her, hey, look, look.
Nah, bro.
You can't let it get there.
You can't let it get there.
Because I'm going to have to step in too.
After I look through all them pictures, I'm going, I'm going to call yo, what the fuck?
Well, why are you assuming it's like dumb, hardcore?
What if it's just feet?
Say again?
What if it's just like a little feet?
Same, same, do same, bro.
That shit is all.
It's all possible.
Come on, son.
You can't be allowing that shit, bro.
Come on.
I don't know if I say the same.
Tell her, put them feet on Instagram.
I look on Instagram.
I don't get an answer or nothing.
Instagram is for the people, bro.
Yeah.
Instagram's for the people.
That's got to be the rule.
If you're a dad, your daughter's on OnlyFans.
Don't be upset that I'm looking at it.
Be upset that you done fucked up to the point where your daughter's on OnlyFans.
Right or wrong.
I agree.
Angry at me.
Angry at me.
I'm still.
It's still weird.
You're going to sign up for your daughter's OnlyFans.
That's strange, bro.
Why?
Support.
Policing.
Yeah, but you're supporting her and now she's going to keep doing that shit.
Supervision.
No, I kind of.
I get what he's saying.
He's like, yo, hey, he's going to text her, like, hey, I just subscribed.
And then she's going to be like, I got to get a different one.
I got to make a new one.
I got to duck this.
Yeah, it's like when your parents come to your show or whatever.
You want to, you know, adjust the joke.
I don't, but some people do.
You know what I mean?
Or your wife or something.
This guy doubles down.
I think you're going to get him off stage and be like, Laddie!
Letty!
Put it in!
You're over with that.
What's up, Chicago?
Thanks, though.
I should.
My mom just fucking crying out of embarrassment.
Poor one.
But yeah, I don't know.
Do you adjust your shit if your girls folks are there or something?
Girls, folks, I probably would.
Definitely not wife.
You got to be able to laugh at this.
But parents, my parents have been to one show and I didn't cuss.
I was like, yeah, I did it at a show.
You didn't cuss?
No, I didn't cuss.
But it was a show where I could probably, should probably not cuss.
It was like I was hosting something.
And I was like, y'all can come to this because I know I'm going to be clean on this.
Other than that, Don't Kong.
Was it easy to be clean?
Yeah, because my jokes aren't that raunchy.
So I just don't cuss.
It's like being around a kid.
You just watch what you say in terms of like cussing.
Did they watch Bring Back A Pooh?
My dad said he watched it, but my mom probably watched it, but didn't tell me.
Because I'm like, don't watch it.
Really?
I don't want you to see it.
Yeah.
Why?
Hilarious.
I don't know.
I don't.
It's like a big, there's a big respect thing with Indians where it's like, I have to be a certain way around my elders.
So I don't want you to see me how I am with everybody else.
No, you're going to know that I do it.
Like, I'm going to tell you what it is, but I don't want you to see it.
Like, I don't cuss around my parents to this day.
Really?
No, I don't.
They know I do it.
They'll hear me doing it with other people.
But like, if my parents are in the room, I'm not cussing.
It's a different thing.
Meanwhile, you're signing up to your daughter's OnlyFans.
Yeah, what happened to the respect?
He wants to support his kids.
Like, how his parents didn't watch his shit.
Whoa.
Also, what I jerk off to is my business.
This guy's wild, bro.
This guy's wild, dude.
Crazy.
He's going to jerk off to his own daughter on OnlyFans.
Why are you saying it's only her content?
Maybe it's a collab.
Oh, man.
Somebody just scissoring that up.
Maybe your daughter.
Yo, my daughter and your daughter?
Oh, my God.
The other podcast?
Yo, Flagrant 3.
Dude, the Flagrant 3 podcast with my daughter.
Yo, that'd be a little crazy, bro.
I'm not going to lie.
That'd be a little crazy.
My teeth hurt.
Is that COVID?
I think that's poison.
I think I might have been poisoning.
You might have been poison, bro.
It's 18 by Will Smith.
Yo, it's a possibility.
Yeah.
Well, Jada.
Oh, that's Jada sorcery right there.
All right, we got to stop this podcast.
That's the lead suit you're wearing.
Guys, guys, everybody chill out.
Okay?
We got to stop this podcast right now.
Yeah.
Okay.
Guys, we love you and we appreciate you.
Okay.
We've got a very special episode coming for you later in the week.
And of course, a very special patradion.
So make sure you tune the fuck in.
Patreon.com slash flagrant two.
Or right here where you're watching or listening to this.