Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Hollywood's decline, citing record-low Oscars viewership and streaming dominance as proof the industry is dead. They debate UFC champion Kamaru Usman's dominance over Jorge Masvidal and his refusal to fight Israel Adesanya, while analyzing wrestling as the critical skill for modern MMA. The hosts also critique Georges St-Pierre's retirement, compare Dana White to Steve Jobs, and discuss the ethics of legalizing prostitution in Queens or Jersey amidst broader conversations on race, gender stereotypes, and Japan's dating culture. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Gay Country Population Decline00:15:15
If you're a country and your population is declining, you are a gay country.
If a doctor touches your dick because he's doing some sort of exam and you come, I don't think that's cheating.
Kamaro, you are basically royalty in Nigeria right now.
Can you ask those Nigerian princes to stop emailing me?
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
Okay, it's your boy Shultzy.
Got Akash sing Alex Media Mark gagged on the truffles in the building.
Bitches in the Waldorf.
Oh, do we have the remix of that, by the way, Al?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got two remixes from Bitches in the Waldorf.
You know what I mean?
I had people hit me up like, yo, y'all got another banger on your head, bro.
Yo.
Number one song in the world was Open Her Up, still number one in the whole world.
Crazy.
Honestly, it's unbelievable, bro.
Nobody would have thought except me because I knew it would be.
Have we gotten our Grammy noms yet?
No, no, we can't get a Grammy.
Oh.
Because I lied about what I just said.
Okay.
Okay.
We can say we got it nominated for a Grammy though.
We can say.
Yeah.
We did get nominated for an Oscar for the video.
So congratulations, Al.
That was really cool.
We got nominated for an EGOT, too.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
We got nominated for all four?
Yo, that's fire, bro.
All the egot, guys.
If you had sex in high school, you probably wouldn't know.
So Mom.
I should know.
So, yo, open her up, banging.
If we were smart, we would have made you guys able to repost or whatever on Instagram and TikTok when the first shit came out.
But now it's available on Instagram and TikTok.
Right, right.
But when the fucking song first came out, you couldn't do it.
Yeah.
Well, we'll learn for bitches in the Waldorf.
Bitches in the Waldorf.
Oh, dude, we got people shooting us verses.
I want to read some of the verses.
Get some fire verses because we couldn't rhyme Waldorf.
What?
Oh, do you have one of them?
Okay, this is somebody went in and we have two versions where they went in.
They're nice as fuck with, you know, beats or whatever, and they started creating the song.
This is one version.
I don't know who the fuck made it, but thank you.
I think we might have some bitches in the Waldorf.
Bitches in the Waldorf.
Bitches, bitch, bitches.
All right, cut that shit out.
Cut that.
It's too much heat.
Can't give away too much heat right there, right?
Cool off the mic.
Bitches in the Waldorf.
Tricking on a tall horse.
What with the tall horse?
You know what I mean?
We're tricking on these tall horse.
Where's Meg thee stallion when you need her, bro?
We're tricking on these tall horses.
Got that bitch on all fours.
Whoa!
Got that bitch on all fours.
Whoa.
Bitches in the Waldorf tricking on the tall horse.
Got the bitch on all fours.
I need three because one of them kind of might be a little shot.
What do you mean?
What was a little shot?
Al, Jesus Christ, Al.
We're in such a good way.
Why are you trying to make rap music about violence, dude?
Yeah.
Why are you guys always doing that?
Bitches in the Waldorf.
The lit shit.
Bitches in the Waldorf.
Okay.
Tricking on the tall horse.
That's what's happening.
Got the bitch on all fours.
All fours.
What's happening next?
Bruh, that's where you come in.
Do one bar.
You the black guy.
I had no bars yet.
Thank you.
So I take it through Violet, man.
All right.
Be a little less black.
I walked in here.
Let's do this DM.
She squirts and we mop up floors.
It's okay.
I mean, rearrange it.
I used it all together.
It was Jewie.
He's like, we have to clean it.
We got to clean it up the fence.
What is going on?
They were so sincere.
Put it on slippery signs.
Slippery, breaking their neck.
It was okay.
He said something sexual and immediately went to clean it up afterwards.
He couldn't even enjoy the squirt.
As the squirt is coming out, I can see him in his head, like with a girl, a girl squirting on his sheets, and he'd be like, oh my God, I'll have to take these in.
Just try clapping.
No, I actually have a strategy for that.
What is that?
If it's like at a hotel, like you request a roll dwarf!
Tricking on the tall horse!
Ready for the strategy?
Got the bits on all fours!
Get a room with two beds.
That doesn't run.
That doesn't run.
No, I meant the strategy for that.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
If it happens, if it happens.
Come on.
Eat the ass like old dwarfs.
Or dwarfs?
Horse on the derfs?
I saw what he was going to do.
They just said order.
Yo, that would have worked.
Yeah, it would have worked better if I said that.
Yeah, yeah.
Eat the ass like ore derfs.
Oh, eat the ass calling whore derfs.
It's a whore derf?
Am I Bahaman, bro?
I thought that was pretty good.
It was, actually.
Y'all were completely off today?
Jesus.
No, you just got to, yo.
He's got to swag it out.
That's how you sold bitches in the wall door.
Bitches in the wall.
Tricking on a tall horse.
Hey, man.
Got the chick on all fours.
Eat the ass like hoard dwarfs.
He said horde derf.
Or derfs.
He's that horse derf.
You sound like Takashi.
Yo, yo, yo, don't disrespect, bro.
Takashi, don't disrespect the goat, bro.
He's the goat.
Don't disrespect me putting my rap skills on him, but we will have you on this podcast.
Takashi, if you're still doing bar shows in Orlando and you want to stop that.
You want to change your life.
We're here to change your life.
You're all bar shows in Orlando.
You want to open her.
Holler at your boy.
Yo, Akashi is going to open for Takashi?
Let's go.
I like that tour.
He tried to stage dive and fell straight to the floor.
Did he?
No.
He didn't catch him.
He didn't look like he fell.
That shit looked fire.
He fell, so.
I don't think he fell.
Security rushed in this.
I don't think he fell, bro.
I think Alex is hating, bro.
Yeah, Alex, why are you hating?
I know why you hate because you ain't got no bitches in the Waldorf dork.
Takashi could have finished that burst of fire.
Yo, we're going to get Takashi on that.
Bitches in the Waldorf.
I don't got nothing to say.
I'm going to say that shit, though.
I feel it.
Bitches in the Waldorf checking on a tall horse.
Got the chick on all fours.
What's the last one?
Eat the ass like Old Dor.
Or derves?
You make it sound like a giant on Game of Thrones.
Why is Aldorf?
Who the fuck is Aldor?
Or d'oeuvres, but O d'Orves doesn't rhyme at all.
Eat that shit like hors d'oeuvres.
But that doesn't rhyme.
We need Eminem.
Bro, it's a slant rhyme, dog.
You know what I mean?
Whoa, whoa, dude.
Stop Asian hate.
Come on, Akash.
Come on, man.
We just getting over Corona.
You're going to keep Asian hating.
Come on, dude.
But Akash is done with these Asians after what's happened in India.
I'm saying, bro.
Save some Asian lives.
You know what I mean?
We out of here fucking dying.
Ain't no cute hashtag.
Why can't y'all survive Corona like the rest of the world, though?
Bro, we too dirty, man.
There's too many people.
There's no infrastructure.
They're also the most contagious.
They're the most contagious.
Arkash had Corona, didn't even have a symptom and got all New York infected, bro.
Now, imagine that.
I took offense at first when you said it, but you're not wrong.
I'm really avocados, bro.
When you're right, you're not wrong.
So maybe Columbus and them were right naming Native Americans Indians because they were just like, well, if they get sick, this is the same thing.
Now, so y'all are the contagious ones there.
Nah, but y'all.
You're the Native American of this situation.
Oh, wait, wait, we are.
Because I just gave it to you.
I'm just hanging out.
You know what I mean?
Trying to help you guys right.
Y'all get Corona like pussies.
Yeah.
And I was the least affected by it.
I had taste.
Nah, you got anti-body.
I'll got anti-body.
Yo, I did have a rough time.
But I'm trying to understand, like, what is the Hindu approach to Corona?
Like, stop wanting more air?
Like, like, stop desiring it.
Or is that Buddhism?
Yeah, it's Buddhist.
But it's also Hindu in its own way.
Yeah.
Like, can you just stop desiring more air?
You just got to desire enough air.
That's the problem.
They don't have enough air.
You know what I mean?
So, if you were desiring more air, if you were holding your breath like an asshole, you're a politician.
That's all you're doing.
You know what I mean?
And that's what that's what archives were telling me they did.
Say what they did.
Man, listen, I held China accountable.
I think India's doing the same shit.
What's happening?
I was reading a thing that they had like the crematoriums, because you know, Hindus cremate bodies.
So, the crematorium, mad people are coming in dying non-stop.
They never write non-non-stop, carb stop.
Yeah, and they never write the cause of death as COVID.
They have been instructed to just write sickness.
So, the actual number of COVID deaths in like certain villages, like 800 people are dying, and there'll be like 12 that are COVID-related.
Whoa, so this shit is crazy over there, and it could spread here.
And we're just doing some China shit about it.
Maybe that's how you know it's a bioweapon.
Because if Indians are more affected by who do Chinese hate the most, who is trying to increase the business, who's China's biggest threat, India, Obs who's better at math?
Yeah, wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Better at math, chill out.
So, I'll slap you in your fucking chest.
I'll be honest with you.
I got both of y'all.
You guys can't spell.
You guys can't spell better.
But math, I think we got to give them math.
You out of your mind.
Name one good math thing that came out of India.
Yeah.
Zero.
The number zero.
That was arrows.
You don't invent zero.
Bro, we did, though.
How do you invent zero?
You didn't have it before us.
Yes, why?
We did have zero.
Nah, you didn't have a term.
Of course, we had zero.
Nah, you just be like, nah, I don't know what I don't know what's going on here, bro.
Before they invented it, if you had a dollar and you spent it, you still have $1, bro.
Yeah, you just kept your dollar.
You ever ate a banana and then you still have one banana?
That's how dumb y'all are.
Y'all couldn't even calculate.
You were just like, I don't know what to do.
Why would we need to get nothing?
We know what nothing is.
Most people had nothing their whole life.
It's just living.
Hey, I don't know what to tell you, dog.
Y'all didn't think of it.
That's on you.
It's bad.
Losers, you made a name for nothing.
What's the name of that?
You know how much nothing you got to have before you decide to have a name for that?
The British left, and we were like, what are we left?
What do we got in our country?
Zero.
We're going to teach you zero.
You're going to walk around bragging around zero.
We're like, all right, you earned this.
Take this zero.
No, I'm just saying, when it comes to numbers, I think you got to give it up to Asian.
No, Charlie.
I think you got to give up to China.
Chance Lance.
Bro, what?
Can you explain to me the number thing that India did to make you guys own?
What did China do?
Say what?
What did China do?
Son, there's just something about them, bro.
They always look like.
What did they do?
What's the have you looked at them?
Don't they always look like they calculating, bro?
They look like they're doing math constantly.
Every time you see them, they're just like 34, 36 foot.
How did the Indian always do get better grades than me?
I be trying so fucking hard.
I don't know if they're getting better grades, bro.
We the doctors.
I don't know if they don't know, bro.
I'm being.
I'm the only Indian you know.
I'm not a good barometer for Indian success.
I'll be fucking you up.
Because we live out there in Rockaway or whatever.
Andrew, you some Indians.
I'm not saying you guys are bad.
You guys are very good at math.
Copy number two.
Can we be honest right now?
If you got to cheat on a test, you got Indian to your right, you got Asian to your left.
Math class?
Definitely Asian.
That's how dumb black people are.
How dumb black people are.
I don't even know who to cheat off of.
Science class, Indian.
I got you.
I'm going to shut it down right now.
Science class?
I'm going to?
I'm going to shut it down right now.
Yeah.
Whose women are better at math?
Oh, it's not even a question, son.
What are you talking about?
Asian chicks.
Like, I would copy off an Asian girl just as much as I've copied off Asian dude.
100% the same, bro.
Yeah.
Hmm.
You're not copying off the Indian girl?
No.
Son, they're nice as fuck at math.
And we just started letting them do that shit.
Think how quickly they got good at it.
Bro, I don't think they're as nice at math.
I don't think Indian girls are as nice at math.
Oh, so I don't think I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't copy off of it.
I wouldn't.
That the Asian girl, not even shaving her legs.
What kind of grades you get in school?
Say what?
Probably cheating off the wrong person.
A minuses.
You know what I mean?
I had A minuses.
I had A plus.
You cheated off the right.
Son, I had A minus because I was cheating, man.
Look at that.
You cheat off the Indian?
A plus.
I don't think so.
I'm just being honest with you.
I think that Asians are better at math than Indians.
Listen.
I think Indians are better at the other subjects.
Science.
I get it.
You know what I mean?
Indian history.
Spelling.
Indian history.
You guys are way better at that.
Yeah.
We don't give a fuck about history.
Why people are best at history?
Y'all gotta have that.
Yeah, we kind of did it.
I said Indian history.
I specific to Indian.
Yeah.
We don't even know any kind of history.
That's just trauma.
Y'all call it shit history.
We call it shit drama.
Yo, our history is so dope.
We made a class about it.
We're like, yo, y'all want to see what it's like to win wars?
Open any page.
India, nah.
Anytime a minority is like, I'm working through my trauma.
I'm like, what are you reading a book about the past?
What's going on?
Yo, I actually brought this up this weekend that you guys have a shared history being bodied by the British.
No, I never knew that.
That's not true.
You never get it.
That's not true because they never actually got freedom.
So it's a little hit.
Scotland's a little, it's a little, it's not one-to-one.
You know what I mean?
It's not same-to-same, as we say in India.
That's a great point, bro.
Yeah, bro.
I was searching my mind for what the N-word would be for India when he just said it.
And if there was one, I would have said it in that moment.
That's how enraged I was.
I know.
I know.
But you wouldn't have done anything.
You know what I mean?
Very Scottish of you.
Out!
Out!
I'm about to go full brave heart on this corona sacrifice.
How are you going to say shit?
Y'all can't even breathe.
Y'all can't even breathe, bro.
Yo.
Hey, at least we got our own government lying to us instead of the British.
Yeah, but you can't.
What is it called?
What's it called?
Hunger strike Corona, dog.
You can't hunger strike Corona.
That's why y'all getting your ass busted.
Is Scotland getting their ass busted right now?
No.
You don't have enough people.
Yes, we do.
Because the British done killed them all.
Fuck you.
I hate that you're winning this.
And I hate that I don't know enough about Scotland to fight back.
I literally know one movie of history about Scotland.
That's it.
If it isn't in Braveheart, I don't know shit about it.
And I know one Scottish lady came here and got netted in by an American.
And that's why I'm here.
Okay?
They still trying to figure out fucking farming.
We're already onto 3D printed foods.
So that's a great point.
Come on.
I'm not comparing America.
Hey, do you have my back here?
I got your back.
Okay, okay.
Yeah.
You can't even learn how to 3D printing.
Shut the fuck up.
Scott ain't a 3D.
I'm German, too.
Well, maybe that's it.
I'll just call all the other shit I got.
I'm also from Ireland.
Fuck!
I'd be from some success story going over the top, bro.
You're losing an argument.
You're like, I'm a Nazi.
We had a great run.
I'm not competitive.
I just need somewhere.
We won a few.
Bro, all I'm saying is, and Mark, how did we get off of where you're from?
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, remember when we were jumping on him?
You were French.
You're with me, bro.
No, dividing property to divide and conquer, bro.
Nah, nah, nah.
I'm neutral, bro.
I'm Switzerland, dog.
I'm neutral in this.
Nah, you would be neutral, you French fucking.
Yeah, dude.
The French are so lame, dude.
Yo, you guys are the most lame.
And why is that, dude?
No, I'm not even going to bring it up.
I brought it up in the green room, but I'm not going to bring it up.
What color do you think Miles thought the green room was?
We'll get to that.
We'll get to that in a second.
But yeah, everybody knows it's universally known that the French are the most pussy when it comes to any sort of altercation whatsoever.
Why?
That's a fact.
French Lame Neutral Switzerland00:15:05
Because y'all stay catching L's, bro.
You didn't even fight back Hitler.
You're like, don't ruin Paris.
Decorate the Andrews are too pretty.
Yeah, that was a strategic move.
What did you say about that?
Strategic move of what?
Let them through so we could help y'all out?
Bail y'all the fuck out?
Because they know the boys were coming.
The boys did come.
The boys, the boys.
And they're not coming to help you for all the shit you've been talking, bro.
You're not getting no vaccines.
You got no boys leading their wars?
The French?
That's true.
Bunch of fucking females running that shit, bro.
Yo, I don't know, because the dudes have super long hair.
The women have super long hair, so I don't know.
It was a dude named Joan.
That's even worse.
That might have been.
Son, Joan of Arc, bro.
Joan of Arc, the only French person to win a war, was a female, dude.
What about Napoleon?
Napoleon wasn't French.
Okay.
You know that.
He was Greek.
No, he's French.
No, he's Greek.
He fought for the French.
That counts.
No, it doesn't.
What do you mean he fought for the French?
That counts.
That's how counts.
Now outsourcing, not a problem.
Now outsourcing, not a problem all of a sudden.
I'm flourished.
No, it doesn't.
He's Greek.
He's as French as you are American, bro.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Watch your fucking mouth.
Where was I born, son?
Yo, where was I born?
No, he wasn't.
He was born in fucking Greece.
That's ain't part of it.
That's in part.
Napoleon.
No, he wasn't.
He was born in Gorsica.
Oh, yeah, he was.
Yeah.
So I don't know where he was born.
Dude was born in North.
You have me going.
I was like, yeah.
Marston, Google.
He's like, where did Napoleon?
Get on Google, bitch.
Get on Google.
Dude was from Corsica.
Dude was from Corsica.
I'm not going to lie with conviction.
I know.
You got me scared, bro.
I was like, fuck.
Corsica.
The island to the north of Sardinia.
Kingdom of France.
He wasn't born in France.
He wasn't born in France.
He was born where?
On an island of Corsica, which is Kingdom of France.
But what is Corsica now?
Bro, he was born in.
Corsica is Corsica, but part of Crucian.
But is that Greece?
Corsica?
Are you winking at me again?
No, it really isn't.
No, are you crazy?
I think he's Greece.
No, it's right above Sardinia.
It's Corsica.
This place, I googled it.
This motherfucker talking bash.
He don't know what it is.
He doesn't even know.
He doesn't know fucking nothing.
What is Corsica?
What do you mean?
To the left of Italy, there's an island called Alexander the Great.
You don't even know who that is.
Who's that?
I don't know who any of these people are.
That's not Stalin, Lenin.
Yeah, I'm just saying.
You don't know anything about the world.
So the French body dubs people.
They did?
Yeah, that counts.
The Jews or the Moroccans?
Both.
They did.
They just abused you.
Why do you stop?
In Morocco?
They went into Morocco and they're like, this is ours now.
And then y'all just took it, bro.
Yeah.
You bent over, opened up your assholes, and they started baking baguettes in them things, dude.
That's what they fucking did to you guys.
And you're okay with that?
Are you okay with that?
Can you sleep at night?
Perfectly well because the mixed punchers, I dig French Moroccan.
This guy flip caps.
You know what I mean?
When Morocco's getting bodied, he's like, I'm Jewish.
And then when the Jews are getting body, he's like, I'm Morocco.
This motherfucker.
He chose aside, dog.
Choose a side.
That's a pretty safe side, actually.
You know that was covered with the conspiracy.
Moroccans run the world.
You definitely picked the right side on that.
Bro.
Fully vaccinated.
Israel.
Yeah.
Step it up, India.
Step it up.
You know, he's so bad.
She got me.
She got to make it real for a second.
My bad.
My bad.
Yeah.
You know how it feels.
That's been me the last 25 minutes talking all that shit about Scotland.
I don't know a single goddamn fact to come back with.
In 1614, we did something good.
Got we were doing a game.
I got a little caught up in Indian shit.
He was about to talk some shit, right?
He was about to go full racism.
You saw him stop himself?
He put the eBay.
He literally liked this in his mind.
He was like, and then stopped it.
Full stop.
Good idea.
Oh, fuck it.
All right.
Oh, man.
What's wrong?
Al ain't even throwing a hat into the ring, bro.
Puerto Rico, you don't even claim it.
Puerto Rico, fine.
Latins can't get Corona, bro.
They can't get paper towels either.
So, you know what I mean?
Things are working out all right for you.
You're going to be good soon.
We're about to get it.
We're about to become a state.
Puerto Rico?
Yeah.
No, it's not.
He's getting added in Puerto Rico.
We're not letting Puerto Rico come a statement.
Listen, I love Puerto Ricans.
They don't deserve a state.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
Keep the lights on, guys.
You can't keep the fucking lights on.
First of all, you need to be able to keep the lights on.
After you keep the lights on, now you talk shit about Texas, too.
Say why?
Now you talk shit about Texas, too, with that light.
The states were the most pride.
We've been here fucking three months and the lights turned off like five times.
Yo, Al, don't family business.
Family business, bro.
We just got to hang out with the homies and talk some shit about not us.
Okay, and listen, Texas, y'all got to figure that out, bro.
Because I was about to let Texas be its own country.
I was about to.
So Texas becomes a country, Puerto Rico becomes a state, and then that way the flag is still balanced.
Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, cut that map out.
That way, that's far style.
We don't have to buy a new flag every day.
Start being all fucking Chinese about this shit.
Just relax.
We have a no, we have like a relegation system for states.
No, we don't.
Yeah.
This is what a relegation league will be fire, and New York will be relegated too, and you know that shit.
Yo, yes, bro.
New York's about to be a province or something.
Son, son, you have some espresso before you came in today, bro?
You are acting up, bro.
You hurt my soul right now.
Insulted Scotland, assaulted New York.
What else do I have left?
Let me tell you something, bro.
You an immigrant of New York.
You fled like a fucking refugee.
You might have a refugee.
Son, I think I gotta fight this shit.
This motherfucker disrespected you so many times.
I'm gonna fight you.
I'm gonna be us on Triller.
April 31st.
Are there 31 days in April?
Five days.
We're fighting on Triller.
I'm gonna look at it, like Ben Asker in it that way.
And hey, bro, get it.
Get them hips.
Yeah, there's no 31st.
No, it's the 30th.
Well, we'll definitely be fighting the 31st.
Lead over here.
That's what I need to start doing: calling out people on days that aren't there.
February 29th.
I'm fighting John Jones.
February 29th.
Shit.
Almost threw up right there, guys.
Okay.
That leap day coming around.
You're going to be fucked up.
Yeah.
I got to be very careful with that.
I got to be very careful.
Is it leap year next year?
No, I think two more years.
This is how you know you stop letting white people do math, bro.
What the fuck is a leap year, dog?
How you make the whole year, you figure out the whole year, and they're like, oh, we forgot one.
That's the most white shit, bro.
Yeah, that's the most white fucking shit.
Let them figure out the fucking calendar.
Y'all have months and days or what?
What do you guys got?
Yeah, we got a lunar calendar.
That shit mad confusing, to be honest with you.
But it's exact, though.
Is it like Celsius?
Yeah.
Because we're out here with this Fahrenheit.
You invented Fahrenheit.
Egyptians figured out fucking like stars and shit.
They have a perfect calendar.
Mayans had a perfect calendar.
And we're still dealing with that.
We're doing with leap year.
Y'all got remainders, dog.
As a wild.
Oh, my.
Julius Caesar created the leap year.
Say what?
Julius Caesar.
Greek.
Is that right?
You're thinking of Napoleon.
Do I get that right?
Nope.
But he's Roman.
Roman.
They were joking.
Shit.
Hey, shit.
All right.
Damn it.
I got that one wrong.
Shit.
I would have said you got some.
I thought I was right on that when I was like, Julius, that sound kind of Greek.
I never met a Roman dude named Julius.
Caesar?
Yeah, Caesar.
That sounds super Greek.
Why?
Because I don't think salads are very Italian.
Caesar salad at Italian restaurants kind of a thing.
You go get a Caesar salad in an Italian restaurant.
The Caesar salad is from Mexico.
But there's a Caesar salad in the Caesar salad, bro.
Caesar salad is from Mexico.
Y'all think I'm fucking around?
Look it up right now.
Yes, dude.
It was.
It was created in Cabo San Lucas.
I was talking about it.
Not a restaurant called Editor Miles now.
Back to that restaurant.
You are right.
He's actually.
It's not Cabo San Lucas.
It's Tijuana, bro.
Okay, it's at Edith's restaurant, Cabo.
No, it's at Caesar's restaurant.
The restaurant was called Caesars, and that's why it's a Caesar salad.
But the dude makes way more sense that way.
Yeah, listen, I know everything.
You know what I mean?
I do know everything.
I know a lot of shit about Greece.
Ask me any question about Greece.
Go.
What's their population?
73 million.
Yo, look that shit up.
Look that shit up.
See if I ain't right.
And that's not including all the Sudanese they kicked off the fucking beach with a boat and watched drown in the middle of the ocean piece of shit.
Greeks are pieces of shit for that.
You're close.
Shit.
What am I?
10 million.
But close if you look at all the numbers that exist.
Hold up now.
The whole country is only 10 million?
Yeah, according to Greek.
Nah, no.
Oh, we could lose that.
That's not true.
You don't get to have a whole country for 10 million, bro.
Yeah, that's like Florida.
I think Florida's got 10 million.
10 million in the whole country of Greece, bro.
Even on them islands where the hoes are out there.
From 2019 to 2020, apparently population declined.
From what to what?
I don't know, 50,000 people.
Son, yo, if your population declines, you're gay.
If you're a country and your population is declining, you are a gay country, bro.
That's a fact.
That is a fact of life.
Your country is gay.
If the population is going down, not up, you guys like butts more than you like pussies, bro.
I mean, think about it.
Dude, say what?
Kanaidos.
Kanaidos.
That gay shit Greeks are doing.
There we go.
That is, yo, I'm sorry.
Japan population going down?
Gay.
Right?
Come on now.
What else?
Need another country with a population going down.
I think Italy.
I think Italy.
I think they be struggling to have kids in Italy because the lifestyle is a lot of people.
I don't believe that.
It's older than the population.
Go.
You're not going to like this.
Go, I don't want to say it, bro.
Go, go.
You're such a good guy.
I don't want you to do it.
Dude, oh, my God.
Go.
God damn it.
Scotland's going down.
I'm German, man.
I'm tired.
I'm tired and I'm exhausted.
5.4 million, dog.
What?
Wow.
5.4 million.
But wait, wait, wait.
It's going down?
Yeah, but to be Manhattan.
To be fair, to Scotland is not actually a country.
It's a British country.
That's why it's not a country.
Yeah, exactly.
We're not a country, so suck my dick.
Also, he was right on this Caesar salad created in Tijuana.
I know I'm right about that.
Also, right about by an Italian.
I can second Italian.
You got to listen.
I'm fucking nice with this shit.
Scotland's population is going down because of English oppression.
It's because of English oppression.
Real talk.
But if we really want to talk about things and we actually want to have this conversation, if we want to have tough conversations, because it seems like that's what y'all want to have, if y'all want to have tough conversations, your population is going down by the fucking second.
Per cost.
It's going down, down.
That shit still goes up next year.
Go ahead now, swing it.
Oh, my God.
But population going up.
What is New York's population?
Up or down?
Yeah, look that out.
Crank that, soldier boy.
Crank that.
Crank that.
Come on, Mark.
I mean, like, in the last year, it's going down.
Yo, Open up the years, son.
Open up the years.
Give me a decade.
It's down at least right now.
We're looking at four.
Yeah, but other people might have gone there.
Back and forth.
All right, I shouldn't have asked about New York.
You ain't back enough.
I've been back and forth for three and a half.
Why would you ask about New York?
I don't know, man.
I got a little bit too confident.
As you were asking, I was like, this is a trick question.
Man, when I asked it, too.
I thought he had a trick or something.
I also asked it, and I was a little bit concerned.
I too felt concerned about the outcome.
Ah gosh.
Damn it.
Yeah, it's been going down.
What about America's population?
I just want to make sure we're not a bunch of funucks.
You know what I mean?
We got to make sure.
We up, bro.
We up big time.
What are we up?
I can't find the exact number right now, but the chart's going up.
And that's not even including all the illegal motherfuckers.
Oh, shit.
So think about it.
We're the most straight country in the world.
I mean, there's other countries that are also going on.
Nah, they're not.
We top.
Other countries that are going up mad quick, they probably got crazy child mortality rate.
We're the top.
We're the straightest country on the planet.
This is a fact.
Everybody needs to listen.
If you're listening from your countries where you're getting bent over and your fucking shit pushed in, listen, bunch of countries that got populations.
You're grabbing your ankles and having your shit pushed in, okay?
If your population's declining.
All right.
But the boys, but America, we out here.
Increasing population, fastest increasing.
We don't fuck around.
We fuck bitches in the Waldorf.
Fucking go.
Bitches in the Waldorf tricking on a sawhorse.
Yeah, that's a great salad too, bro.
Fuck that Caesar shit.
Waldorf.
The Waldorf salad.
Yeah.
Made in New York.
Still trying to make that salad.
He's still trying to make that lie worse.
You need to stop it.
Also, this podcast brought you by Waldorf Salad.
They paid me $100.
They vetmo me a hundred bucks to say it, okay?
I've been pushing it.
Oh my God, bro.
We got bitches in the Waldorf, bro.
We really do.
What's the most famous hotel that didn't get shot up in your country?
That's tough.
It's a big drop-off, actually.
Fuck.
I think there's a Marriott out there we're supposed to get married at, but.
Bitches in the Marriott, nope.
Don't hit the same.
Yeah.
You can't get married in a Marriott, dude.
Come on, bro.
Yeah, can you not do that?
How are you going to get the wildlife in a Marriott, bro?
They're not built for that.
Nah, Indian Marriott built for that.
Oh, yeah, I guess.
At least be classy.
Get a holiday inner.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, we're going to a holiday inn.
Yeah, it's a breast, bro.
It is a holiday.
Breast.
What's the worst motel you ever stayed at?
I stayed at a Red Roof Inn back.
Yo.
What?
You ever stayed at a Red Roof Inn?
Nah, I don't think so.
That's not that bad, yo.
Red Roof Inn is all right.
Nah, that shit was trash, bro.
I don't know.
I didn't fucked in some places.
Everybody in Oklahoma.
Prostitution legal in New York.
Oh, yeah.
We're getting back to prostitution is legal in New York, which is also going to up the population.
Probably not.
Maybe it won't.
Maybe it won't, actually.
Yeah.
Those prostitutes are a fucking barren.
A bunch of Caitlin Jenner pussies on them prostitutes, bro.
Now that guy gets his uncle laugh going, bro.
Holiday Inn Breast Motel00:04:11
Yeah.
Oh, good lord.
Hee-haw.
He fucking hot.
We got a lot to talk about, boys.
We got a great pod and a super special guest that you probably already know about because he was in the title and a thumbnail.
Oh, fuck.
Okay.
Let's come together here.
Let's be serious.
Let's be serious.
Let's be serious for one fucking second.
One second.
Bitches in the Waldorf.
Bitches in the Waldorf bubbly in the bathtubs.
Tricking on a tall horse, something in a...
What rhymes with bathtub?
Why we pick the hardest words to rhyme ever, sir?
Why do we do that to ourselves?
Bitches in the Waldorf bubbly in the bathtub.
Tricking on a tall horse, something in the hat.
Let me look at bathtub, Brian.
Got to join the hat club.
Oh, the hat club could be good.
Gold bottles in the nightclub.
How do we do nightclubs?
Can't run a club.
We can't club a club, bro.
Fuck.
Bathtub and nightclub?
Tubb and club.
Yo, Mark.
Tub and club.
Yo, Mark.
You can't rhyme club and clubs.
You can ride tub and club.
Bath club.
I thought you said you were saying bad.
Bathtub, not bath club.
I thought you were saying bath club the whole time.
Dummy or whatever.
This guy's from Quebec calling.
Oh, yeah, from Quebec.
He is, bro.
Who the fuck is from Quebec?
Celine Dion?
He's rapping like a fret.
He's a fragile bitch.
Bitch built like a Pixar retart.
She really is.
She is.
Leah's built like a Pixar retart, bro.
You never seen Celine Dion?
Yeah, in the arms of an angel.
That's yeah, that's you would know that.
You gay motherfucker.
That's the trick.
I was checking to see which one of y'all are from declining populations, if you know what I mean.
Also, how declining population is it that you immediately claim Celine Dion?
Who's from Quebec?
Celine Dion, yeah, one of the declining populations, declining population shit, right?
Yo, Celine Dion, even knowing two songs about her, you can know Titanic bang.
That's a banger, and that's it.
My heart will go on.
And my heart, my heart will go.
You ain't never seen me.
How does that song go?
Hi, I'm a guy.
And I take eyes in my rectum.
Is that a pretty good impression of Celine Dean?
Was that a Quebec accent?
That's Quebec.
That's how you say hello.
That's Quebecois.
Yeah.
How do you say hello in Quebecois?
All right, let's be serious, bro.
We got a lot of shit that we ought to talk about, man.
Let's be serious.
He's got rid of his ammo.
That's my ammo's done, but I got a full one right here on deck.
Oh, shit.
On deck.
Don't act up.
Hey, better not act up.
Real talk.
Don't act up.
Get smacked up in the motherfucking Waldorf.
Yo, we got to make a rap song.
Yo, we got to make it now.
We did make one.
Like, someone made it.
Yeah, but we got to really make it.
Bitches in a Waldorf, bubbly in the bathtub.
Bitches in the Waldorf, bubbly in a bathtub.
Tricking on a tall horse.
And that bitch's ass up.
Got the bitch's ass up.
Do you know what I mean?
Bitches in the Waldorf, bubbly in the bathtub.
Chickens on a golf course.
That says Fallout.
So the flowers there.
So this is about golf course.
Yo, hold on.
What can we do?
A golf course?
What can we do?
A golf course?
Because that shit hits.
Golf course.
Yeah, yeah.
More green than a golf course.
Oh, more green.
Back more green than a golf course.
You know what I mean?
What else?
You know what I mean?
Clubbing harder than a golf course?
Clubbing harder than a golf course.
Where the baby seals at?
Yo, come on.
Y'all are crazy right now.
Y'all are crazy right now.
Al, you are nuts.
You know what I mean?
Bitches in a Waldorf.
You are nuts.
You are nuts.
Bitches in a Waldorf.
You know what I mean?
Let's get serious.
Bubbly in the bathtub.
Let's get serious.
You know what I mean?
Clubbing on a golf course.
What?
Yo, you are silly.
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Trigger Mechanism Card Access00:14:49
Now, let's get back to it.
Prostitution in New York is now they're not gonna prosecute it.
I hate that those words are so similar.
I know, it's hard.
So, they're not prosecuting prostitution in New York anymore.
Could this be the worst way to handle this situation?
Which situation?
Porque.
I'm saying, I'm assuming all these changes are coming from the fact that the city is broken.
They need to make money.
Oh, yeah.
But if you're not prosecuting it, right?
Maybe you save money on these prosecutions that the taxpayers have to pay for.
But why don't you legalize it and then tax these bitches?
Coochie tax.
Yeah, that's a great point.
That's how you really make money, right?
You make it legal.
Now you don't have to prosecute them, save money there, and you tax them.
Yeah.
Because if you're just going to make it not prosecuted, you're only going to increase pimping.
Like if you really care about these women, right?
Which they don't, but if you really care about these women, you don't want to increase the pimping.
You want these girls to be able to support themselves.
And New York needs tourists, dog.
And if prostitution was full-ass legal in New York City, but I don't want to fuck no girl from New York.
Shipping from Puerto Rico, bro.
New York got the Puerto Ricans.
All right, but you don't want, you're not coming to New York to fancy.
It's the second state coming through.
Yo, real talk.
Can we talk about that?
Like, shout out to all the women in New York, but y'all are gross.
Nah, you buggins.
Yo, yo, Ain't nobody want to hear all that with your fucking cool vocabulary.
Dudes don't want to hear all that.
Yo, it's mad hot outside.
Shut up.
Shut up with that.
Stop trying to talk cool, women in New York.
Cut the vocab out.
Slang is for men, not women.
Yo, yo, yo, let's get some sour diesel this weekend.
Chop cheese, yo.
You gotta hit this chop cheese, man.
Yo, if we get some sour diesel, we get that diesel, and then we eat a chopped cheese.
That shit finna be great.
Yo, I got madheads coming over this weekend.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, I got mad heads coming over this weekend.
We're gonna eat chopped cheese and smoke sour diesel.
Yo, roll that blunt.
I only like duchies.
I only like black miles and duties.
Shut up.
Shut up with it.
We don't think that's cute.
Real talk.
If a girl speaks with slang, minus two points.
You don't like a girl with Tim's?
Say what?
A girl with Tim's?
No.
No.
I'm not sure.
You can't get my Tim's.
You can wear those Tim's.
I'm not a big fan of girls wearing Tim's, but it's not even about the clothes.
It's like the stop trying to be like us.
Like, you're supposed to be girly.
Be girly.
Don't be like us.
I know we're cool.
You just want to act like us because we're the shit.
But ladies, cut that shit out.
Have your own girly slang.
I love it when girls are like, I mean, the Valley Girl accent is stupid, but at least it's theirs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Least it's.
There's a thing it's not appropriated.
I'll take slang over the valley girl accent.
You a liar bro yo, you ain't.
Who likes white girls more than you on this, I don't want either, but no, I don't with none of the valley girls.
I don't with that valley girl I, that's just me personal preference.
I look, I understand what he's saying.
It's annoying the valley girl, but it's not more annoying than if a girl's trying to talk like a New York dude.
Dude, if a girl's trying to talk like a New York dude, that is absolutely repulsive.
We could shoot the dozens and then this shit is fun.
Yeah, if it's the homie, it could be the homie.
The shorty could be the homie.
Nah bro, you never had a shorty.
Who's just the homie.
No no, that is fun.
No, that is broke.
That is weird, bro.
Yo, that was yo.
That dick was fire.
You want to go do that dick was fire, beating his pussy up yo yo, you beating his pussy up right now.
You want a girl to say that to you bro, like a man after you fucked a man after you feel you got you really do.
She don't even put both of her legs over her head, just one.
Like yeah, hit that yo.
I'm just saying, cut the slang out.
You don't think?
Is that?
Are there any people that find that attractive?
I don't know.
Do you find it attractive when women talk like men?
No, do you find it attractive when women talk like men?
Yeah, sometimes it'll happen where like, i'll meet someone like a girl for the first time, she'll call me like dude or bro.
I'm like whoa yeah, kind of off putting a little bit.
Yeah bro, like in Miami they, they do that a lot bro.
Hey bro bro, but they all got the 30 that should be making up for it a little bit.
I'd be like yo, stop talking like a dude.
Yeah, I don't know enough girls that talk with New York slang.
I'll be honest, because most of the girls I know in New York are from uh, they're shipped in.
Everybody shipped in transplant very rare.
Al and I are the only New Yorkers really.
Yeah, there's not a lot, y'all are a dying breed.
But I would still say New York women are more beautiful.
But Miami, they take care of themselves better.
Yeah, because in New York women just throw on a fucking hoodie for half the year, but they're beautiful.
Yeah Miami, they be having some bust up faces, but the bodies.
They get the work done though, but Miami women will put in the work.
New York's got the most beautiful women in the world because that's because all the most beautiful women in the world come to New York yeah, so it's like it's not even comparable.
Every kind of woman maybe La could compare, I think, the hottest girls in La that we don't really see.
When you see them you're like whoa, what the is that?
Yeah, not even a person yeah, yeah.
And then New York, you just see hot girls just walking on the street.
Yo go, speaking of cities with women.
Do you see Charles Barkley?
Oh my god, a legend bro, go Legend, say what he said.
Say what he said so I could enjoy it.
Yeah, he basically says uh, he goes.
Yeah, I think they named them the Georgia Bulldogs.
You know, based on the women, they got down.
Bunch of bulldogs in Georgia bro, bunch of bull.
That's why there's so many gay dudes in Atlanta, probably.
Oh my god right what, what?
Although bro nah, Atlanta don't play chill.
Atlanta is the gayest black city.
Population declining in there declining, bro.
You think red would go down.
You know what I mean?
What in Atlanta?
Yeah, them gays got money.
It's gay money broken, but they attract more gays.
Oh, it's like yeah, who got more money than gay dudes?
Yeah, that's a good point.
Gay guys got the most money, you think.
Right, of course yeah, they got a lot of money because they both got to make money because they're men, and then they don't have to take each other out because they're men.
So it's kind of lit.
Yeah yeah no no, kids win-win-win, yeah.
But that's the thing with Charles Barkley's comment.
I'm wondering, is it fair to say a whole city has ugly women, is that?
Yeah yeah, it's hilarious.
Yeah, is it?
It's so funny, it's more than fair.
It's funny.
Boston I have been in Boston yeah, oh yeah, San Francisco you yeah no no, it's.
It's really interesting.
Girls in Boston, Sorry, Boston, but it's the truth.
What?
are you going to say?
Because maybe I was going to say something different.
Oh, I already said that they're all ugly.
All of them are ugly?
I mean, relatively.
You think so?
Yeah.
That is interesting.
That is very interesting.
We've sampled a lot of cities.
That's true.
We've traveled all around.
Are girls in Boston the most ugly?
I don't think they're the most ugly, Al.
I think the ugliest is San Francisco or Portland.
Wow.
Nah, Poland got some sneaky ones.
No, no, no, no.
I ain't seen them.
No, Yeah, they're sneaking outside the fucking city where they're sneaking.
I mean, there's something up over there.
There's something up over there.
Portland is something up.
Coffee situations that they got going on.
What's a little ugly?
Oh, yeah.
Sneaky ones.
Yeah.
San Fran, I ain't see nothing.
Yeah, San Fran is really rough, dude.
It's really, really rough.
You got any coffee when you was in Poland?
Yeah, you didn't get any coffee?
What's a coffee situation?
I don't even know.
Oh, they got the top.
I got coffee.
Yeah, this guy's declining, bro.
Declining.
Yeah, obviously.
Yeah, I got all the coffee.
I'm Seattle's best.
You know what I mean?
I'm Portland's best, actually.
They changed my name.
Did you go to the place where they got the topless chicks serving coffee?
Oh, no.
I didn't even know it existed.
But everything's also shut down because of COVID.
But I wouldn't have gone anyway.
So why am I acting like I would have?
That definitely didn't.
Is that shut down or no?
Because it's little booths.
They don't even get close to the people.
Oh, it's a drive-thru nude.
Drive-through nude, bro.
That's nice.
Not playing games.
Yeah.
That's the best way to have people.
That's actually a fact.
When you ask for milk, do they just because that's fire.
That's probably highly nutritious, to be honest.
Well, sports court.
Got a little taste in it.
Yeah.
A little flavor.
Okay, guys.
So the prostitution thing, we're about it.
We're not about it.
What do you got?
Yo, legalize it.
You're right.
Legalize it.
That's the move.
They just do it.
It's illegal right now, right?
That's the first thing.
Maybe that's a district.
Have a red light district like Amsterdam.
That's interesting.
So it's not, it's like a Times Square for whores.
Yeah, but it just ruins it.
Like that part of Amsterdam, I'll be honest, sucks.
Oh, it's gross, but you make your money and it's there.
Yeah, but it's just such a shitty thing about the city.
And then people go to this great, beautiful city strictly to just do drugs and fuck whores.
It's just, I don't know.
I think that the worst part of Amsterdam is the red light district and the legalized weed.
I really, truly believe if they do it in New York, where should they put it?
In Queens, you think?
Yeah, put it in Queens.
Yeah, put it in a far rock.
You don't want the income out.
You don't want the income out.
It's a stimulus, bro.
They should put it in Jersey, man.
Jersey could use it.
Nah, Jersey will take it.
Jersey, this guy, I think, is smart.
Who?
Governor Murphy.
You like Murphy?
He legalized weed mad long ago.
When y'all were shut down like pussies, he was still open.
Restaurants, 25%.
We got something.
Yeah, that's true.
He's smart.
He's opening shit up now.
But why does it mean recreational weed now?
It just sounds old-fashioned in terms of like street walking is permitted when it's like you have OnlyFans.
You have ways to just do it digitally to get the pimping away.
Like, why is that the thing?
Yeah, that's a great point.
Like, what kind of idiot girl becomes like a street walking whore?
Oh, flip phone ass bitches.
Get out of here, bro.
Dude, like, start the OnlyFans, be a thought on Instagram.
Like, it's not that hard.
Do that.
You can, like, confirm that that's the actual person, like, FaceTiming.
If you're streetwalking, you definitely have a pimp that is abusing the fuck out of you.
Oh, yeah.
So, we got to get rid of the street walking.
I don't want street walking.
Streetwalking, what?
There isn't.
No.
But, like, they mention it as, like, that's what'll be decriminalized.
And I was like, really?
Is that a point?
Just like, let them do what they want to do.
So do you think it will happen within the strip clubs like crazy?
That's where I think shit goes.
Like, I think they'll be in the strip clubs.
They'll be fucking in the strip clubs.
It's decriminalized.
So now all of a sudden you can get your dick sucked or do something like that.
And then the strip clubs will make crazy bread off of it.
And then ideally, some of that bread will go to taxes and then the city makes some money.
Strippers better get some equity out there, bitch.
You better not be sucking dick for hourly wages.
No, I think it's going to be like they got to take it off premises, but the club will know about it.
Ah, maybe.
Maybe.
Club could probably still get in trouble, right?
I don't think the club can get in trouble, right?
If it's decriminalized.
Yeah, you're not prosecuting.
How are we getting in trouble?
Well, even if we got it, what are you going to do?
You've already said we're not going to prosecute.
Oh, no, I'm in trouble.
You said something.
I'm not getting a ticket, going to jail, nothing.
Anyway.
What about rub and tugs?
What about them?
So that is one of those gray area things where it's like, eh, it's a massage a little bit extra.
Yeah.
So now that it's decriminalized, would any of you be more likely to get one?
I got a girl, so it's just like a headache for something that's not even feeling that good.
Is that really cheating?
Yeah.
I think it really is cheating.
Yeah.
The worst part is I think it's cheating because your intention is to come.
Oh, like if we really want to open up this discussion, like if a doctor touches your dick because he's doing some sort of exam and you come, I don't think that's cheating because that wasn't your intention, right?
He's doing his job.
He's a doctor.
He's not trying to make you come.
You don't want him to make you come or her to make you come.
I don't know why it's a guy in my situation.
But that'd be super embarrassing, right?
Speak to a therapist after that.
Doctor to psychologist.
Right.
So then like that's okay.
But when it comes to like a rub and tug, you're going there to get jerked off and ejaculate.
There's got to be like a Jewish like Sabbath trick we can do with this.
Talk about it, Mark.
You know what I mean?
Like, you know how all the Sabbath Jews, they're like, oh, yeah, I can't use electricity, so the elevator goes to every floor.
Yep.
I can't rip toilet paper, so it's already pre-ripped.
There's got to be a system where you can be like, oh, I'm not going in for a rub and tug, but then it becomes that.
Yeah.
Like, like, it's like you just get a regular massage and they go, this isn't a rubber tug.
You go, yep, I know that.
But it is the whole time.
Oh.
But it's not.
Well, what if there was a way for them to make us come without touching our dicks?
Oh, like mind control?
Yeah.
Dude, if they could mind control, make you come, that'd be absolutely.
Or if it was like birthday candles, they just went, yeah.
Or I just keep thinking about like Magneto.
Remember, he would like lift up like metal poles and shit like that?
But what if they could just do that with your dick?
Yeah.
In that case, then it wouldn't be cheating.
Then it wouldn't be cheating.
As long as I think it's an intention thing.
You know, like the intent.
That's why I think that the Sabbath Jews are faking it because their intention is to use electricity.
They just found a way like around the system.
God's going to go, motherfucker, I know what you were doing, but it's true, right?
Oh, on that thing?
Yeah.
The intention is, like, if you just leave the TV on the whole time, you're technically not like igniting the switch.
What is the actual technical term?
Like, you're not allowed to light the fire.
Sparking fire.
Yeah, you're not allowed to spark the fire.
So if the fire is already sparked, then I guess it's okay.
But your intention is sparking the fire.
So you're breaking the fucking rule.
I think that's what.
But if they tie you down and you say, no, please don't.
And then they still do it.
Yes.
Then your intention is good.
But you still walked in.
To get a massage, bro.
I know.
We're trying to get around it, bro.
We're trying to get around it, but it's a really hard thing.
Jews do it.
You guys must have like a system or something.
They always got to justify rubber tubs.
Like a Sabbath boy thing.
Like, how does that work?
There's got to be something, right?
Mark is loving marriage.
Come on, Joe.
Enjoying his shit.
I need a workaround.
I need a workaround.
That's the thing.
I'll never get it.
But the workaround for the tug is so stupid.
Like, if you were going to get your dick sucked after a massage, that's fire.
But, like, just jerked off after the massage?
What if they say scientifically, if they jerk you off first?
Yeah, you're also not the same.
It eases the muscle.
It's like a muscle relaxant.
So actually helps in the sports medical approach.
It will help.
Afterwards.
So the need.
It will absolutely help problems.
After I work out every time with Jordan.
Shout out to the muscle doc, Jordan Shallows.
It'd be great if I got a fucking rubber tub.
Not from him.
He'd tear my fucking cock off my fire.
Should have led with that because he's like at the back of the ass after you've been getting that all this time.
Like, oh, you really should.
No, no, that guy got some mitts, bro.
That'd be crazy, dude.
That would be a fucking crazy rub and tug.
Shout out to you, Jordan.
He's got big hands.
Monday's workout session is going to be fun.
Bluechew Hard Dick Shipping00:02:49
No, but you see what I'm saying?
Like, after some form of exercise, the ultimate relaxation is obviously to bust a nut.
So that's what Deshaun Watson was probably doing this whole day.
Ooh.
You know what I mean?
I just need to relax more.
I got a lot of games to play.
That's it.
Hey, this is the workaround, dog.
You just got to find a workaround.
That motherfucker was asking for rubbing tugs.
Yeah, he was going to matter what skis and asking for that jerk.
Yes.
He's got to relax, dog.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Okay, what else we got, man?
Oh, no.
There was something I really wanted this.
We got LeBron.
We got LeBron.
Actually, first of all, let's talk about this UFC fight card that was unbelievable this weekend.
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That was a nice sneeze.
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Let's get back to the show.
Okay, there's a few conversations to have about it, but it was an unbelievable fight card top to bottom.
UFC is by far the most entertaining combat sport in existence right now.
It might be the most entertaining one in history.
You can be a complete casual and love it, and you can be an absolute expert and love it.
And you can watch fighters that you don't know their names.
You don't know anything about them and fucking love it and enjoy it.
Or you can watch fighters that you are 100% intertwined with their identity and personality and love it that much more.
It is unbelievable.
It seems like I'm doing a fucking free promo for the UFC.
I promise you, I am not.
I just enjoy it so much.
It was worth everything.
This is the most I've watched like all the way through of any fight, and it was great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was great.
Fights I did not think I'd be into.
Thug Rose, love of your life.
Oh, my God.
I did not think I'd be into it.
Love her.
But it was a great fucking fight, and that knockout was insane.
She was so endearing, so likable.
So just adorable.
So adorable, so sweet.
I'm the best.
Yeah.
So American.
We took it back from Willie Zhang.
Oh, wait, what?
UFC Free Promo Fighter Love00:16:02
What are you saying?
We took it back from China, he's saying.
Oh, yeah.
Well, we didn't have to get all fucking ethnocentric about it, dude.
No, never on this show.
But like, she was just so sweet, so endearing, so like wonderful, so grateful, so happy.
It was just great to see.
It's like, it's like watching Jordan win his first championship or like Kobe win it.
Like, the pure joy that you were witnessing in that endearing.
She reminded me of like an anime character.
Yeah.
Like they beat up some guy and they're like, yes.
Dude, it was just great, man.
So that was amazing.
And then obviously the Usman fight, and we're going to have Usman on in a second.
We can talk to him about that.
But Mark made a really interesting point about the whole night.
I think we're on the drive home with Colorblind Miles.
Miles is the guy that does.
I can't believe we'll let him drive.
It was unbelievable.
They can't be pilots.
Top signals.
We found out Miles, who does all the editing for the podcast and color correction, is colorblind.
We found this out.
Like, truly, failed colorblind tests we found on Google.
Yeah, yeah, he's completely colorblind.
It is unbelievable.
But if anyone ever says the word ableist on this podcast, it's not true.
Well, we've given him a fucking job.
I should fire his ass.
But he's still working here.
I'm going to get him those glasses.
Oh, we'll get him the glasses.
We'll do it live.
We'll have like an emotional breakdown.
Yeah.
Oh, those videos are great.
It'll be amazing.
I mean, it'll be absolutely amazing.
Anyway, point is, we're writing back.
And then my, and then Mark goes, this is a pretty significant event in recent history.
And I'm like, why?
And he goes, because I think this is what really opens things up.
I go, what are you talking about?
Like, things are kind of open.
He goes, yeah, but this is the first indoor, full-capacity event that is profited off of.
Okay.
Okay.
The outdoor stuff, you feel kind of safe.
Yeah.
Right.
But like the mouse is making money off of this.
Yeah.
This is Disney.
Right.
So they're willing to put their reputation up to make money off of this fight.
Right.
And what's interesting is what moves things a lot of times in this country is not necessarily morality.
It's capitalism.
Yes.
So all these other places that are going, I don't know if we can be open.
I don't know if we can hold these events.
You know, there's a liability here.
They're going to go, wait a minute, they're making money off of live events?
Why the fuck are we not making money off live events?
It's time for us to make some fucking money.
And that is how you get the gears grinding in terms of really opening things up.
Yeah, 100%.
And I even think optically, having the people that were there on camera, like without matt, like someone like Tom Brady.
Without a mask.
Ocho Cinco masked up, going to hug maskless Tom Brady.
Yeah, but someone like Tom Brady is just like a superhero.
Yeah.
Society.
And to see someone like him in the stadium, no masks, just big.
I think optically it does a lot for like the morale of the country.
And we were sitting there wondering if this was all by design because the first like four or five fights were a Chinese person versus either an American or like anyone else.
Yeah, it was anybody else.
But it's seen.
Now, I understand they have like a fight academy in China and they're probably trying to promote the sport in China.
And this is not how they wanted the night to go.
But it almost looked like the world was beating up on China in the first event where people are back in the stadiums like this is payback.
It looked like payback.
It really looked like fucking payback.
And I'm like, are they doing this on purpose?
Is this a promotional technique?
I thought they wanted China to win all the fights because there's so much money in China.
Yeah, there's $2 billion to promote there.
Capitalism moves everything.
There's so many people there.
I'm sure that was their intention, but it almost felt as if one Chinese person won their fight, I think.
And that person wasn't even Chinese.
I think they were like Mongolian.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, shit.
Mongolian guy.
Yeah, even Wei, whatever, Wei Li or whatever is the one that Thug Rose knocked the fuck out.
We thought she's going to beat Adam.
She's nice, bro.
She was great in the last fight.
Yeah, she was savage.
That girl's an absolute savage.
But Thug Rose knocked her in her fucking head with that front kick.
Yeah.
And oh, yeah, it was absolutely amazing.
But it's just really cool to see.
It's really cool to see it happen.
And you realize how much the fans do affect the sport.
Like, we've tricked ourselves in going, oh, it's really cool to hear what the coaches are saying when we were watching all those fights without the fans.
And then you saw the fans roaring after a strike.
And you're like, oh, there's nothing like this.
This is the energy.
This is what we pay for.
This is what we pay for to be there live.
And this is part of what we pay for to watch at our homes.
Like when you watch the World Cup, do you guys want to watch a fucking World Cup without fans?
No.
No.
Fuck.
You can watch any of the Champions League games or Premier League games.
It's like, I want to hear the vooovoo zalas or whatever.
I want to hear all of it.
Yes.
And I really do think it impacts the fighters and impacts any athlete playing in that setting.
Bro.
I love that we're still able to hear the coaches, though.
Yeah, you could kind of hear them still.
Yeah, the coaches.
Yeah.
Because that was one thing I enjoyed when the fans weren't there.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
Sorry.
You know what I realized is how much Joe Rogan does for UFC in the sense that, like, him and Daniel Cormier, and who's the other guy, the other commentator?
John.
Is it John?
John and Mick or something like that.
The three of them, when they have the reaction, whenever there's a knockout, and Joe's grabbing both men.
Unbelievable.
It's just three homies hanging out watching sports and they happen to know the sport very well.
That's the way you want all your sports to be commentated.
It's just that's the exact reaction.
When one of us says something funny, we grab each other, we slap each other, go nuts.
That's like so much more accessible.
It makes the sports seem that much more complex.
Close to you.
Stiff white dudes in a booth being like, oh, yeah, great Naga.
Yeah.
John Anik.
John Annick.
Yeah, man.
It was just so cool to see.
It really made me feel like, oh, we're about to be back.
Oh, and did you see some videos from Texas?
They have like the Music Fest, like EDM Fest, Ubi-Doobie or Ubw, whatever it's called, like with Cascade.
I saw videos.
We back.
Yeah, Texas back.
Numbers are continuing to decline in Texas.
And their numbers being fully open are lower than New York's numbers.
I think Michigan's numbers and a couple other Democratic states that are not fully open yet.
It's like, guys, at what point?
I think we said this on the last pod, but at what point are you not trusting the science?
The data is right fucking there.
You know, there's a saying from a pretty famous scientist that says the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
That's what New York is doing.
So you say trust science.
Yeah.
You're doing the exact thing the fucking greatest scientist ever said don't do.
Yeah.
Let's keep doing the same shit.
Shut down.
It's a fucking baboon.
Just a bunch of baboons, man.
Running New York.
What?
Sauce-nippled chimp.
What is it?
Chimp-nippled sauce monkey.
Sauce monkeys run in New York.
Governor Cuomo is a sauce monkey.
Bill de Blasio is another sauce monkey.
And Cuomo happens to have chimped nipples.
So that's why he's a chimp-nippled fucking sauce monkey.
Yeah.
And yeah, he should be put in a zoo.
We should put him in the fucking Bronx zoo.
That's what we should do.
When he's done with his term, just stick him in the Bronx Zoo with a bunch of other chimpanzees and let them have at it, dude.
Just let them have at it.
Just make some fucking meatballs and marinaro for the fucking chimpanzees and the Bronx piece of shit.
Anyway, what were the main fights you thought from the night that were significant?
I mean, for me, it was anytime an Asian loss.
No.
No, for me, it was Thug Rose's fight, and then it was Kamaro's fight.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you see the full Uriah Hall, Chris Weidman fight?
Oh my God.
That was another thing that happened.
I mean, Chris Weidman, who's this, he was the first guy to dethrone Anderson Silva.
Okay.
Right?
And I was on stage when this happened.
He, I literally was right before I went on stage.
Yeah.
Thanks for everybody coming out, West Paul.
It was an amazing time.
Yeah.
And he throws a leg kick at Uriah Hall and then snaps his fucking leg in half.
And you saw it happen in real time, and it was absolutely devastating.
Yeah.
The grossest part about that?
Yeah.
He snaps his legs and then steps on his own snapped rubber mesh body down on the ground.
And it was the scariest.
It's fascinating to look at.
I saw a slow-mo of his face, and he doesn't realize he breaks until he steps in.
He steps down.
Yeah, what is it called?
The adrenaline is just going.
Like, you do feel pain, but you don't.
I think you're in shock, too.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Just unbelievable, man.
Yeah.
Just unbelievable.
I read a stat that there's been three leg breaks in UFC history.
And he's been involved in two of them.
And he's been involved in two.
Yeah, because Anderson Silva's leg broke when he was kicking him.
Yeah.
I guess.
And it's just.
Anyway, what an amazing fight card.
UFC is absolutely killing it right now.
And before we, you know, not before, if we're going to talk about this a little more, we got to talk about the headliner of the card and King Kumaru, the Nigerian nightmare.
We have him on the podcast.
He was generous enough to give us some of his time.
I know he's a busy man right now because the entire world wants a piece of him.
So, you know, we got to have the champs on.
Yes, sir.
You know, when somebody maintains their belt or wins a belt, we got to have them on Flagrant 2.
So without further ado, say hello to our buddy, Kumaru.
All right, what's up, everybody?
This man needs no introduction.
It's the Nigerian nightmare, Kumaru Usman.
We got the champ once again.
Champ, congratulations.
Wrap up a page.
Champ.
Yeah.
Okay.
Kumaru, you and I know each other from Instagram.
This is my co-host right here, Akash Singh.
We also got Alex Media in the building, Mark Gagnon, and the truffle picked up.
We are very excited to talk to you.
What a fucking epic ending to an amazing fight card.
Congratulations.
How are you feeling right now?
Feeling good.
I mean, I'm okay.
I'm pretty content, you know, and I think that's something with me is I try not to get overly indulged in it and excited because I know in this game, too, is you have highs of highs and lows of lows.
So if I try to stay at a steady stream, then it doesn't hit me as hard.
But I feel good, you know, like you just said, that fight card was insane.
And I didn't realize it because I didn't watch most of it.
I get to come later because I fight later than everybody.
And so I was in a hotel and just basically meditating and trying to be in my own space to do what I do before I actually have to get picked up and go to the fight.
So I didn't get to see a lot of it.
But looking back, I'm like, holy shit, that card was insane.
Yeah, it was absolutely stacked.
I want to talk to you about your performance.
I was blown away, man.
Listen, I come into this as like a huge boxing fan, right?
I've been a boxing fan my entire life.
My father was a huge boxing fan.
He used to cover fights back in the day, go to Ali's camp all the time.
So I'm like a multi-generational boxing fan.
And I always witnessed your dominance, right?
But I didn't see your dominance with the hands.
And then all of a sudden, lately, you were catching people with this really sneaky right hand, right?
And in UFC, the guys that are like dropping people with right hands, usually it's this big, like overhand right bomb, right?
And you saw guys like Tyron Woodley was very effective with it earlier in his career.
Obviously, if you go way back, Liddell and stuff, it was these big looping punches.
Sometimes Liddell will throw straight.
The punch that you knocked out Masvedal with, you hit him like three or four times earlier in the fight.
With were you picking up on that that he could not see the right hand coming?
I was basically, to be honest with you, my main thing is right hand is there for me always.
But, you know, my main thing is sticking with the fundamentals, and that's using my jab.
I've been working on that so long.
You know, when I got into the sport, I knew two things.
I could wrestle.
So I could take your ass down and I could jab your face off.
And that's it.
You know, if you got through those, I might be in trouble.
But if you can't get through those, it's going to be a long night.
And it's just, you know, I'm starting to round out my skills, just hone it all and believe in them.
You know, that's a big thing.
A lot of guys are very, very talented and skilled.
But if you don't believe in it and you don't go out there and really try to implement them, it's going to be damn near impossible for you to really show those.
And so, you know, I'm starting to really believe in it.
And, you know, I surprise myself sometimes.
Bro, the craziest thing about that right hand that you landed is he tried to counter your little slap hook, but you snuck the right in before his counter.
So you landed two punches before his counter even came.
And I think that's why it was just night night.
Yeah.
And the one thing that I know about George and my coach, Trevor Whitman, we know this as well.
And we looked at this is George is very, no, much respect to George, amazing fighter, great fighter.
George is very good at boxing.
He's very good at rolling punches.
Yeah.
You know, even in the first fight, there's a little, there's a video that became a meme of him just rolling, rolling my punches and rolling the elbows.
And he's very, very good at that.
When you let him set and plant his feet and there's not somewhere to go, he's good at doing this and rolling off.
And so this camp, I tried to keep him in the center where he thought that I didn't want to be.
Yeah, yeah.
I wanted to keep him in the center.
And I wanted to just be sneaky with it.
And the right hand, there was two positions, two ways, setups that I had for that right hand.
This one was probably the one that I didn't think would land as easy.
The other one, I tried it in the first round, but I was very tense.
I wasn't relaxed enough.
And he was still very, very sharp in there in the first round.
And it didn't work out.
So I'm like, all right, shit, that didn't work.
All right, we got to do something else.
Which one was that?
When you tried to counter with the overhand?
You see where it got what I was, I started getting a little sloppy.
I started to get sloppy because I hit him in the body.
I hit him in the head with the jab and I'm setting him up.
And the setup is a jab to the body.
I'm going to jab the body.
I'm coming right over the top because I change speeds on him and they don't see it.
And I tried it, but he was very sharp.
But he backed away so that I'm like, whoa, I was like, damn, I bet that looks stupid on TV.
I bet that looks stupid on TV.
I'm like, don't do that shit again.
Let's stay focused with the fundamentals and we'll get this guy out of here.
How much of, like, we often think this with basketball players, right?
Like, if you get crossed on TV, like you can just hear in the back of your head the sports center, da-da-da-da-da-da.
Because you know you're just going to be lit up.
As a fighter, you're in there.
Your whole focus is on beating that person up, but also not getting beat up.
Is there any part of you in the ring that's going, oh man, they're going to make a meme of that?
They're going to clown me.
What I just said, yes.
Really?
Yeah.
You're thinking about it in the moment?
I threw the punch and I'm like, see, the whole time, especially in that first round, people don't understand.
That first round is so nerve-wracking because you're trying to catch your nerves and you're trying to control your adrenaline because, and that's the thing with me.
A lot of people don't understand when I'm walking out, you know, I tend to dance a lot.
And that's a rhythm that I found early in my career is that when I do do that, it relaxes me to where I don't think about the emotions walking into this cage.
You know, once I'm dancing, that means I'm grooving.
I'm feeling the music and I'm thinking about the music.
And I do have a mantra that I say to myself while I'm walking out.
And I'm saying it while I'm dancing.
Dancing Mantra Cage Emotions00:07:13
And next thing you know, I'm in the cage.
So I don't have time to think about that walk.
And you see some guys, they come up, they get really, really worked up, you know, on that walk.
And then they get in there.
And after you exchange a couple punches, they get an adrenaline done.
And now it looks like you have never trained a day in your life.
You're just getting beat up in there.
And that's what I tried to avoid.
And in that first round, I'm trying to find it.
I'm trying to find it.
But then there's certain moments to where I get tense.
Like when I was trying to set that right hand up, I got tense and I'm like, oh shit, that looked bad.
Oh my God, they're going to clown me for that.
All right.
Stay with the funding battles.
Stay with the funding battles.
Kamara, talking about pre-fight nerves, there was a moment before the fight when they're introducing you and then you walk into Masvedal's face.
What was the psychology of that?
Was that as much get rid of my nerves as anything?
Or what was that?
It was just a thing that I started doing.
And the more and more I grow inside that cage, I'm a giant.
I'm the African giant.
That's my cage.
That's my cage.
You are my fucking octagon.
And so early on in my career, you would see I always walked up during the introduction, but I didn't go as far.
I might, you know, a couple of steps, you know, still close to my corner and, you know, just, and that was it.
But then the more I grew, the more my confidence grew and the more the work that I put in and I became this giant.
So when I step in there, I have, he has to know that he is in my octagon.
And I walk up.
If he's willing to step up, he steps up.
But if not, I'm walking, stepping all the way up to him.
I'm letting them know, yo, you are in my octagon and you're about to experience something you've never felt before.
Now, I think you're going to experience something that you haven't felt.
Maybe you felt a little bit of it, but like the love is different when you sleep people.
You know what I mean?
Like it's easy to say things like, like, oh, he's not fun to watch, or you had all these criticisms earlier when you were doing more wrestling.
But when you start putting people to sleep, like the average person that doesn't even follow the sport, all of a sudden is going, oh, no, no, that's the baddest motherfucker on the planet, right?
You're probably feeling that a little bit right now.
The internet love is crazy.
I agree.
And the thing, I, the thing about that is, like I said, I've said it before, when I got into this, I didn't get into this because I couldn't do anything else.
You know, I had plenty of different things.
I went to school.
I could have done things.
I chose to get into this because I wanted to be the best.
I wanted to prove that I was the best.
And then you get to this point where I'm doing it and I'm doing it and I'm using my technical skills and I'm beating everybody.
But then it's like, you know, the sport is still, it's still growing to where, yeah, you have the hardcore fans who understand the technical ability of it and they appreciate that.
And then you have, you know, the beer drinking guys who just need something to do on Saturday.
And they're just like, let's get on down to the bar.
Let's catch the spot.
And those guys, they want to see guys bang.
And, you know, it took me time to be able to get to the point where I was loose enough with myself and my technical ability and trusting in them to know that I can do whatever I want to do in there.
And I've said in the last couple of fights, I'm starting to have fun.
And that's scary.
I'm starting to have fun with this now.
When I start having fun with it, you know, and that's when I started doing wild shit in there.
And the sky's the limit.
I noticed you were hitting another level when I saw Connor mention you because Connor, I think, is on like marketing mode 24-7, right?
So whoever has the most gravity, he's trying to attach himself to that gravity and he's trying to attach himself to that story, right?
So while it's really cool or maybe annoying that he's doing it, it is, it is important to note that this is where he notices the gravity going, right?
He's going, I might have to come up to 170.
You're not coming up to 170.
I don't even know how you make 170.
Dude, when you were on top of the cage, bro, it was different.
When you were on top of it, you had titty muscles on your titty muscles, bro.
It was one of the most unbelievable things I ever seen.
So there's no way Connor could come up, but the fact that he's coming after the gravity you created, you know, you're entering a different stratosphere right now.
No, absolutely.
And that's the thing with my manager as well.
He recognizes that.
He's very smart.
You know, shout out to my manager, Ali Abdullah.
You know, Connor is, you know, Connor is Connor.
Yeah.
We have to give him props for what he's done and the space that he's put himself in.
But at this point, it gets a little bit corny and it gets a little bit, you know, we're in this age of all these clout chasers and people always continuing to steal clout.
And Connor is getting to the point where it's, if I can't create it myself anymore, then I'll just, I'm just going to chirp and get to whoever has got it.
You know, when Izzy, Israel out of Sanya fights, our boy, my boy, when Izzy fights, boom, Connor's tweeting about something.
You know, and it's like, it's like, why?
Why are you trying to steal some of that shine?
Why are you?
That's not what's going on.
You take a seat, young man.
You know, it's not your turn right now.
But he can't stand it.
Or where someone else goes, he can't stand it.
He has to speak up.
And in that space, that's where he's at right now.
And Connor's saying, I might have to come up.
He's mentioned before.
He said, ah, that 170 belt is looking quite good.
And then I gave him an opportunity.
I said, hey, you want to fight for the belt?
Here, you can fight for the belt.
During, I believe right before the COVID app, I said, yo, you can fight for the belt here.
He said nothing, went silent, radio silent.
Didn't hear anything?
Two days later, Anderson Silver does an interview about, you know, potentially fighting Connor.
Connor goes, I accept.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Now you're accepting.
So, my man, you know, it just, it looks bad for you right now because at the end of the day, if you want to fight me, pick up that phone call, call Dana, and say, Dana, I want to fight that guy.
And, you know, let's be honest, it's kind of hard to shy away from that.
It's hard for me to shy away from a fight, period.
I would shy away from fights.
Yeah.
But if it's Connor McGregor, let's be honest.
Yeah, it's hard to shy away from that one.
You know, very hard to shy away from that one.
So if Connor really wanted to come up, he would do it.
He won't get on Twitter and turn into Twitter fingers and basically just start tweeting and chasing clout here.
You know, I'm not into that business.
I'm into the hurt business and I'm starting to do that very well.
Yeah, I think you are.
Go out.
Let me ask you this.
Connor wants to fight you.
What do you want?
Because now they're starting.
Raycon Earbuds Eye Rest00:03:14
I'm starting to hear casual guy, oh, this is one of the greatest ever, maybe.
So what do you want to do to get to the point where it's like, oh, that's the fucking GOAT?
The crazy thing for me is I just, I can't, I try not to even think about that.
I can't think about that.
I don't, I don't want to worry about that.
I've seen a few guys start thinking about that.
A guy that actually ruled in my division for a little while was starting to make those statements and say those.
Yes, I'm this, I'm that, I'm this, I'm that.
Instead of worrying about the next one in front of you, the next one in front of you, my full focus is on the next guy in front of me.
Now I go out there and I take out that next guy.
Guess what?
There's going to be another next guy.
Boom, I take out that guy.
There's going to be another next guy.
You continue to do that and you do it long enough.
People are going to be like, holy, look at this.
Yeah.
Look what this guy's done.
And so that's just where I try to focus my mind and my attention.
And when I'm done with it and I walk away, I'm going to look back and I can say, wow, damn, I did that shit.
That's it.
There's a.
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Buyraycon Discount Fight Mention00:06:57
There's a fight that I'm sure people are starting to mention.
Now, we're huge fans of Israel Adesani on the show.
We've had Izzy on the show.
That's our homie.
I know that's your homie.
There's one division between you guys.
You are massive for 170 and Izzy is not big for 185.
Is that a potential fight for you?
Or Izzy?
Is that a potential fight?
Because I know you're both competitors and that is a bad motherfucker over there, right?
Absolutely.
What do you think about that?
We are.
We're both competitors.
And don't be fooled by that.
Izzy's deceptively big for one person.
I always tell people.
He's deceptively big.
He's tall.
Yeah.
Strong legs and he moves well.
And striking is just unreal.
Unreal.
The rate and the pace that he's able to see strikes and adjust and react to them is next level.
And, you know, if I wasn't who I was, that would be a test that I would, oh my God, I would salivate over.
But that's my brother, man.
And I just, I couldn't see myself getting in there and mentally preparing to fight.
I couldn't see that.
And this is a quote that I've said time and time and time again.
I'd rather see two Nigerians with belts than one Nigerian with two belts.
So, you know, that's not a fight I'm looking at.
Okay.
That being said, what if Izzy came out and said that your family can't cook Jolof Rice?
What if he said your Joeloff Rice is trash?
Would you have to avenge that?
I would call him up ASAP and we got to have a conversation about that, bro.
We need to have a cookoff.
I'll say it.
You know, I just, I can't picture.
I just can't picture right now.
No, I love that.
I think that's great.
And I think it's cool.
You see fighters.
There have been fighters throughout history that have done it.
They've just been such close friends that they wouldn't want to do it.
And also, you guys are fortunate enough to be in financial situations where you're not needing that fight in order to feed your family, etc.
But these pipe dreams are always cool.
Interesting thing about what you're going through right now, which I think is always really interesting.
Is like you hear guys like George St. Pierre, they think about coming back, right?
And they're like, oh, yeah, I might come back for that Khabib fight.
He's not mentioning coming back for that Usma fight, is he?
No, I just, I'm starting to slowly, my hope for that fight is starting to dwindle.
Yeah.
And it just doesn't make sense for him.
It doesn't to go to still have your name attached.
Like, look at how I'm slowly elevating and building myself, and his name is still attached to it.
So that's what you want.
Once you cemented and you put yourself in that place, there's no point in risking it.
And he, he's, that's the one thing that I do love about George that we believe we think similarly on and we agree on is that he's honest with himself.
He's very, very honest with himself as far as stating what he's capable of, what he thinks, and just the facts.
Fighters of today are better than fighters of yesterday.
Right.
And fighters of tomorrow will be better than fighters of today.
It's a fact.
And George is honest about that.
And that's one thing that I commend him for.
And I love that he's honest about because a lot of people like to make that debate, who, Joe, you just George, you versus George, or me versus Matt Hughes.
I would kill Matt Hughes.
You know, it's just, it's just, it's just different.
It's different.
It's not that Matt Hughes wasn't a great Mike Hughes.
I put him on the Matt Mike Rushmore of Welterweights.
Right.
He's great, but you think about the time and you think about the way MMA was being fought at that time.
You know, a lot of fighters had one, one skill that they were very good at, the horse grace, very jiu-jitsu specialist, to where now you get guys who come in with two skills: boxer, wrestler, yeah, and they start taking over.
That's the Matt Hughes era.
And now you have guys that can do everything.
Matt Hughes doesn't know what a calf kick is.
Like, imagine you, you know, I gave Matt Hughes about four calf kicks.
Forget it.
That fight done.
Yeah.
It's different.
So, you know, that's just a difference to where it makes it very, very hard to really say, oh, who's the best?
But GSP, that was, that's a fight that if I still got, if I got a call tomorrow, I, I, I don't know if I wouldn't believe it.
You can't.
Let's go.
George signed.
Let's freaking do this.
I, I absolutely would do it.
I'd be jazzed up for that one, but I just don't think that's going to happen because George is very we don't want to take too much of your time, but I do have another question.
What do you think the best because you brought it up?
What do you think the best skill set is for the modern-day fighter?
Because I've been looking at a lot of guys who came up with wrestling backgrounds and then learned striking.
And it seems like that's the most well-rounded if they can get the striking down.
If they don't learn the striking, then they can struggle.
But what do you think that elite recipe is for the MMA fighter today?
It's hard to deviate from facts.
And the fact is, let's think about it.
You watch a street fight go down right now.
Okay.
You're watching it.
Boom, these guys are fighting.
Think about a fight.
There's only three positions that a fight could be in.
Both could be standing up, trading punches, one guy on top of the other guy on the ground, beating him up, or reverse, the other guy on top of the ground beating him up.
It's three positions that a fight could take place.
Yeah, and two-thirds of a fight of those positions are on the ground.
So, as a wrestler, that means I have the ability to control and dictate where that fight takes place.
So, if you're a jiu-jitsu specialist and you want to submit me, you got to be able to take me down.
If you can't take me down, as in my last fight, how are you going to use that jiu-jitsu?
Yeah.
And as a striker, if you're a great boxer or a kickboxer and you want to keep me standing and use it, and I can take you down, how are you going to use that skill?
You just can't.
So, it's very hard to deny the fact that wrestling is probably the single most important aspect of mixed martial arts right now.
Yeah, it is cool to see that evolve.
Okay, I want to do a little lightning round.
You know, we do a little lightning round when we have special guests on.
Wrestling Control Ground Positions00:04:19
Okay, um, here we go.
This is going to be quick.
All right, Masvedol said that you had pillows for hands.
Was that because they made him go to sleep?
I guess that's something you got to ask him, but uh, I would say yes.
That's probably yes, okay.
Kamaro, you are basically royalty in Nigeria right now.
Can you ask those Nigerian princes to stop emailing me while you at it?
Tell him, stop emailing me.
Okay, this is a serious one.
All right, Daniel Cormier or Jake Paul, who wins?
Oh my god, that's not even serious, Jake, right?
I know it's not serious.
I know.
I honestly, I thought DC was gonna smack him over the weekend.
That's how you know DC love that job.
He loves it.
Old school DC would have smacked dude right there.
Not even a question, would have smacked him.
So, DC love is ESPN job.
The mouse, the mouse is doing good for DC.
All right, man, before you leave, who you want next, bro?
Who do you want next?
I don't.
Like, think about it.
I've been through them all.
I'm trying to think who else is there.
At the end of the day, now, what it comes down to is I like having fun now.
I like being able to go into the fight and know that I'm having fun now.
And so, in order for me to do that, someone's got to motivate me.
George motivated me by, I mean, it was the perfect excuse.
Six weeks.
Oh, this guy can't do this.
And George sold the fight well.
I mean, he's talking, oh, this guy doesn't hit hard at all.
I mean, he wasn't blessed with the macho-ness to be able to hurt someone with his hands, you know.
And those things just kind of stick in my head as like, oh, word?
That's how you feel?
Okay.
So, these are things that motivate me to want to go in there and have fun.
And right now, just looking at the guys, you know, no one, they're all just kind of sitting around waiting on me to pick them for them to get a payday.
So, I just want someone to, you know, show me something, show me some good activity to where I'm like, oh, shit, that dude is scary.
All right, I want him to motivate me to get off.
I'm literally, the couch is right there.
I'm literally on the couch all day today, waiting for my daughter to get off school.
So, when someone motivates me, I'm going to get off this couch and we'll go have fun again.
Well, God bless, man.
Thank you so much for calling in, man.
We are big fans.
We're rooting for you.
You need anything, you let us know.
And we got you, okay, man.
Thank you guys.
And you know, I'm now here in South Florida, too.
So, yo, you got to pull up.
I told y'all.
I'm, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm the king of my family, you know, the shows this weekend.
Yo, you gotta come, you gotta come out and whisper that.
You say, hey, hey, I'm the king of Miami.
Make sure Rick Ross didn't get out of something.
We got to get you out to the stand-up shows this weekend, man.
We're going to get you to come through, bro.
All right, my man.
And we got to get you in the first episode.
I thought you were up in Jacksonville still.
If I knew that you were down in Miami, I would have said, pull up to the studio.
Nah, I live in Bougie Boca, you know.
Oh, I see how it is.
Yeah, but West, though, West, not East.
Not West, though.
I don't know either.
Drive on down here.
We'll wait for you.
Facts, facts.
All right, brother.
Well, thank you so much, man.
Everybody, go check out Kamaru, man.
Let them know where they can check you out.
Obviously, Instagram, Twitter, anything else that you push in.
Anything else?
Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat.
OnlyFans, you showing that dang-a-lang on OnlyFans yet or not?
I thought about it.
The real Nigerian nightmare.
Put your head on.
Ushman84KG.
So, yeah, go check me out, guys.
Jim King.
All right, bye, man.
Be good, dude.
WBC Business Criticism Fighters00:05:45
Peace.
All right, man.
All right.
And we're back.
Yo, go shout out Kamaru, man.
Let him know you enjoyed him on the pod.
Tag him, Instagram, Twitter, all that kind of stuff.
Because he's a beast, man.
Great dude.
Wish him the absolute best.
And we'll make sure to have him back on.
I didn't know that he was a neighbor, so it's good to know.
Good to know.
We got to have him on with Nganu and Izzy.
Oh, that'd be fun.
Fire, the champ, champ, champs episode.
That'd be cool.
All right, bet.
So let's have this conversation right now because it was something I tweeted the other day.
It just kind of hit me.
I think that Dana White is the greatest promoter in history.
Yeah.
And I got checked by Hinchcliffe.
Yeah, I got checked with my boy Hinchcliffe, and he brought up a great point.
And I can see to his point.
He said that Vince McMahon is the greatest promoter in history.
And I do agree with him because Vince McMahon has made a sport that has a fixed outcome.
Yeah.
Be viewed, supported, and treated as if the outcome is not fixed.
Like they talk about on ESPN.
Like, this person won WrestleMania.
It's like, yeah, we knew who was going to win WrestleMania, but he's built this unbelievable machine.
So like, give it up to Vince, sure, but we're talking about non-fixed outcome sports, especially combat.
UFC went from a fucking carnival show.
Okay.
It was, people said human cockfighting.
That's what they thought it was.
And now it is the pinnacle of combat sports.
Yeah.
And this happened within our lifetime.
Yeah.
And it happened with Dana White at the helm.
Yeah.
You got to give the credit where credit is due.
Yep.
He's been able to build up these fighters.
Like the thing about boxing is if you're a boxer and you can't build yourself up, the promotions aren't going to build you up at all.
Right.
But the UFC is constantly building their own fighters because they're almost like a management system as well.
Yeah.
Like once you're assigned to the UFC, it's in their best interest to build you up.
Right.
Now, we can get to the Jake Paul tweet in a little bit.
I want to talk about that.
There are definitely criticisms in terms of how much the fighters are getting paid compared to like boxing, et cetera.
But I feel what they've done and their ability to maintain the notoriety of their fighters and build up fighters within their ranks and also continue to build up fighters who have losses and continue to maintain the interest in those fighters who have a bunch of fucking losses.
Like Masvedal, and he deserved tons of credit for this himself, but at the same time, had like, what is it, 13 losses, 14 losses, made 15 now?
It's like most people who have that many losses in their career are not fighting twice for a championship.
He also has a lot of wins, but still.
But it does.
Usually in fight sports, it doesn't matter.
And I'll probably still watch Masvedol's next fight.
Absolutely.
Yeah, if he makes me interested.
And don't get me wrong, he did a lot of that work himself, but he was also with a promotion that had a vested interest in bringing his ass to the top.
He's devised a system, and maybe the fighters aren't making as much as they would with boxing.
But at the same time, maybe these fighters wouldn't have all the opportunities that they would because they won't have this massive promotion.
There's tons of money being spent in promoting all of them and fighting them often if the promotion didn't make that money.
I have a hard time believing that the money just gets taken out of the UFC and just gets put into Dana White's pocket and nothing else happens.
I believe that it's way more costly to run the UFC than it is to run the WBC, which is in boxing, right?
Like, does the WBC have a facility where people fight at?
Does the WBC have a promotional leg?
Like, no, they just leave it up to Showtime or HBO or whatever one of these networks is promoting the fight.
The UFC is constantly promoting its own fighters, right?
Like, you go to UFC's Instagram posts, et cetera.
There's little videos that are made to make Kamaro look amazing, Masvedolma look amazing, et cetera.
They're constantly editing stuff.
They're promoting.
They're pushing.
They're giving them content to post.
Exactly.
They're doing the work for them.
You got a boring fighter who don't even speak English.
They're going to cook some shit up to make you look like a badass motherfucker.
So I don't think it's as simple as just going, oh, yeah, we're just putting all this money in our pockets.
Yeah.
I think what we're doing is taking that money and reinvesting it in the brand.
Yeah.
They're running a business.
They're running a fucking business.
So in order to build a business, it takes money.
And yeah, I don't know.
So I just think you got to give credit to this guy.
He saw the problems in fight sports.
He changed it for his specific sport.
And I mean, it's just impressive, man.
This is Steve Jobs of fight sports.
Okay, go on that.
Like, you got one guy running shit the way Steve Jobs did at Apple.
Yeah.
And there's probably a lot of criticism, but the guy has a vision and he will execute it.
And you might not see it and you might not agree with the way he gets it done, but he will get it done.
Like Steve Jobs treated his employees like shit.
He never donated a goddamn dollar to charity when he was alive, as far as I know.
Some crazy stat about Apple not donating any money, whatever.
Criticism after criticism of how this guy treated people.
But he had a vision for what Apple was going to be and he fucking took it there.
Dana White, you can have criticisms and I get it.
I might have criticisms, but he has a vision for where UFC is going to go and he took it there.
If you said 15 years ago, this is going to be bigger than boxing.
Even 10 years ago, I'd be like, I don't think so, man.
Like, it was like Bitcoin, like on some real shit.
Yeah, okay, you're telling me this, and I guess you see the logic, but I just don't see it.
And that motherfucker did it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It is interesting, but you keep on seeing this criticism pop up about the fighters not getting paid enough.
Yes.
And then maybe we should bring up the tweet, but Jake Paul, who has continued to do something so fucking amazing, the gravity this kid has been creating around him is unbelievable.
The entire arena is chanting, fuck Jake Paul.
Yeah.
At an MMA card, UFC 261, which is one of the most interesting MMA cards in history.
Jake Paul Arena Chants00:07:48
It's not like it was boring.
Right.
And they're distracted and looking for any bit of distractions.
They're like, all right, let's just say fuck Jake Paul.
Every fight is fucking scintillating and he still gets the arena.
And the first time we got together.
First time.
What's that?
First time you have a stadium full of people and they're changing his name.
The first fucking time.
And I know that's driving Dana White crazy.
Absolutely fucking crazy.
And the fighters.
Daniel Cornbay going and talking shit to him.
Francis, Kamara, when we got brought up, was like, yeah, man, that kid, like, you can see he feels away.
Everybody feels away about this kid.
And that's a fucking, that's a, that's part of his genius, really.
Yeah.
That's his marketing.
You saw him standing up, like taking pictures when everyone's chanting, and he's just looking at him.
Yep.
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The kid knows what he's doing, man.
So, he uh posts this on Twitter.
He goes and he goes at uh Dana White.
Dana, you claimed that you would bet 1 million on me losing.
Set up Askrin to train with Freddie Roach, gave him full access to UFC PI, and he still got his ass handed to him.
Seems like you are the uh, seems like you're the real douche, not Ariel.
In my third fight, I made more in total pay than any fighter in UFC history.
Maybe it's time to pay your fighters their fair share.
No wonder they all want to get into boxing.
Dana, you say you make the fights the fans want to see, so hurry up and make Jones versus Nganu.
Pay them their fair share: $10 million purse for each guy, plus pay-per-view.
Why are UFC fighters so underpaid versus boxers?
Why did I make more in my third fight than all but two Khabib and Connor?
UFC fighters have in history.
I know why.
Dot dot dot.
No selling mistakes.
That didn't impress me.
He hit the right there.
He's only had three fights.
Yeah.
Give him 10, 15 fights.
There'll be some spelling mistakes for sure.
But it is.
It's a fucking great point, dude.
So he's what's really interesting about this is he's driving the wedge between the fighters and Dana.
Yeah.
And I thought Dana did a very good job of like keeping the fighters on his side.
The fighters seem very grateful for Dana and probably because he kept them working, i.e., fighting during the pandemic.
And if you're a fighter who makes their living fighting and you can't even be around other people, it must be terrifying.
How am I going to feed my family?
Like, oh shit, this guy's working hard to make sure we can keep fighting and keep getting paid.
Thank you so much.
Salvation.
But he's driving the wedge between fighters and Dana.
And now between fans and Dana, the fans want Jones and Ganu.
He's saying Dana is stopping that from happening and Dana's alleged greediness.
Now, who knows if Dana is being greedy with that money?
I'm really curious to hear what Dana is spending on building the UFC itself.
Yeah.
Because it is undeniable that these fighters get to take advantage of the brand that the UFC is.
You immediately fight on the UFC, and all of a sudden you are legitimized.
They're going to build you up.
And if you have exciting fights, they're going to make you a fucking superstar on their platform.
That costs money.
I don't know how many millions it costs.
I don't know how much less they have to pay fighters versus boxing where you don't do that for your fighter.
But I'm curious if I was a young fighter, if that'd be worth it.
If I'd be willing to take that percentage of my pay and give it back to the promotional company and have them do it.
Or if a young fighter would go, hey, just pay me the full amount.
I'll take care of my own promo.
Right.
But maybe the UFC goes, We're better at it than you.
Yeah.
You will make more money if you go along this.
And the guys that are at the top, they might not be making those fucking $50, $100 million.
They're not starving.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, is he still making millions?
Is he making the company tens of millions?
Yes.
Should he get more because he's making them?
Some would say yes.
I would say yes just because he can promote shit outside of what the UFC can do.
But there are boring fighters that need that UFC promo.
And it's worth whatever they're taking out of their salary because they wouldn't get those fights because they're too boring outside of the fight itself.
Yeah.
It's tricky.
Not to mention without UFC existing, what was the alternative before that?
You know what I mean?
Like, obviously.
K-124 and things like that.
But like, if you're a young, you know, mixed martial artist in like 2005, like the K-1 tournaments were really big out there in Japan.
And were they making money?
Pride.
I think K-1 was purchased by Pride or vice versa.
But yeah, I don't know if they were making tons of money, to be honest.
And I doubt it.
You could argue the rising tide of UFC just lifts all ships.
That would be his problem.
So that's what I would be curious about.
Like these fighters are making maybe not as much as they're supposed to be paid by the promotion or whatever, but they're making more than they would have gotten paid had this thing not existed.
Yeah.
Like I don't know what the average fighter salary was prior to.
Yeah, the counter could be sure, you don't get paid like boxers.
Boxing is also dying.
So that's the other thing that people don't realize about boxers, right?
It's like you see the top of the top making all this money.
Yeah.
And the bottom of the bomb make nothing.
Like, I don't think the bottom of the bottom boxers are making more than UFC fighters.
Right.
Like, I would argue that there are more UFC fighters that are making a functional living.
In other words, they can eat just off their UFC money than there are boxers.
Just the top of the top in boxing is what makes all the money.
So that money in the UFC is spread over far more fighters, which if you're a UFC fighter for a living, chances are you're not going to be the top of the top.
So it's nice that you can make a fucking living doing the thing that you love, even though it's very dangerous.
Whereas a boxer, you're basically working as well as boxing until you get a sponsor, which is a rich guy that wants a piece of your purse in perpetuity.
Or you get a huge fucking fight.
But most boxers have fucking day jobs.
I guess a lot of UFC guys do as well.
I'm just saying it's quicker to get to that middle, middle tier.
Who knows if it's right?
And also if the brand equity of UFC gives these athletes another chance to make money, another avenue to make money.
There's even this guy from the last fight, Touch and Go.
Cop Job Gray Area Policing00:14:32
I forget his name.
But he drove all his people to his Twitch.
Oh, yeah.
He had this platform and he was able to utilize UFC's brand in order to make money on his own.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whereas like boxing, I don't know if they have, if those like promotions have the same type of equity where you could make your own side thing unless you're in the 1% of fighters.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
I remember that guy.
It was an interesting move.
I don't know.
It's just a crazy game.
It's cool to see what happens.
Let's do some feelings of facts and let's get out of here.
So you want to start with LeBron James?
Oh, yeah.
LeBron being a fucking goofy again.
So LeBron came out and tweeted, I think it was on the day of the Derek Chauvin conviction.
Yep.
He came out and tweeted a picture of the cop in the Michaela Bryant shooting.
I believe that was her name.
Makaya, I think.
Makaya.
And he basically just posted a picture of the cop and said, you're next, hashtag accountability.
And then there was like a sand timer.
Yeah.
Whatever that was.
Yeah, the hourglass timer.
You're doing too much, LeBron.
Yeah.
You're doing too much.
The picture of the face and shit is like, come on, dog.
You're doing too much.
Like, that situation with Makai Brian is tragic, but it's so fucking tricky that, like, that's not the one where you show the cop's face.
The cop shot.
a human that he believed was trying to stab another human and potentially kill them.
Okay.
That is a really tough decision to make in the moment.
People are going, she was only 16 years old.
It's like, you're not thinking how old someone is when they have a knife and they're about to stab another person.
Right.
I don't think you're going, well, how many years have they been on this earth?
You're going, this person is about to commit a felony and potentially murder another human being in front of me.
If he did nothing, what would we be saying?
We'd be saying the same thing.
We'd be going, oh, so I guess cops just let black people kill black people.
That would be the conversation on Twitter if that cop did nothing.
Okay.
If that was my daughter, I am so fucking grateful that a cop stepped in there and stopped her from being fucking stabbed.
I think my understanding, and this is, it is different.
It's still different.
But I think my understanding is she called the cops and she was getting jumped and trying to defend herself.
So maybe it's a little different.
And you could say, we need better policing.
This guy should be held accountable, but he's a different person than Derek Chauvin.
That's what I would say.
Derek Chauvin is like, you are killing this guy slowly, knee on his neck.
You put his face up.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm with it.
Let's go.
No, no, no, no.
You're okay with him putting the face up.
No, if it's Derek Chauvin, oh, Derek Chauvin.
Okay.
If it's Derek Chauvin, like somebody that's doing something like that, hey, man, you were, this is what, this is kind of like not what you deserve or whatever, but I don't have a problem.
There's not much of a gray area with Derek Chauvin.
There's no gray area with this.
There's more gray area.
What do you mean more?
The whole thing is fucking gray.
Yeah.
There's a completely reasonable argument to say he was 100% justified.
What do you want him to do?
Maybe shoot in the leg?
If you want him to say, go for the leg or something like that, Taser or something.
I don't know if a taser is going to stop her from stabbing another human being and potentially killing them.
Like, look, I'm watching the video.
She's going to stab the girl.
Yeah.
Now, I understand she called the cops and she was the one being shot.
She's going to kill him multiple rounds is also disputed, whether or not she was the one that called the cops.
Is that right?
Yeah, apparently that was, and again, like whether or not the police are going to release like the factual information or not, that's also disputed.
But apparently it was her mother or like her aunt that said that she was the one that called the police.
And pieces of her story have already been proven to be not necessarily true.
And so there's still dispute as to whether or not she was the one that called the police or if it was the girl that was attempted to be stabbed.
So there's this dispute about that fact as well.
I mean, what if it comes out, like, who knows?
But what if it comes out that the girl that was about to be stabbed is the one that called the police?
Yeah.
And she's calling the police so that she's not going to be stabbed.
And then the police come and they stop her from being stabbed.
To your point, then, that's the gray area.
There's a lot of gray area in this case.
I don't understand why it's gray.
Why is this so hard for people to look at?
A person is stabbing another human being and the cops stop that.
That's their.
You know why it might be hard to look at?
Because, yeah, it might be hard to look at as gray area.
There's so much gray area.
Because you just said it's all gray area 90 seconds ago.
Oh, I meant there's no.
What do you mean it's all gray?
You said in reference to what?
In reference to.
Chauvin is black and white, but with this scenario, it's all gray area.
And now you just said that.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I misspoke.
And I thought I was pretty clear with my intention throughout this discussion.
I misspoke with the color, but like, all I'm saying is I don't understand how people see this as like some form of like shocking or police brutality.
It's like it's just steeped in like racial context.
I understand.
But if we remove that from the racial context, like if these people are white, right?
Or if these people are both like Asian or just people or something else, right?
It's not a white cop shooting a black person, right?
This is a cop that did his job.
Yeah.
It literally is that.
The argument to make would just be change policing, excessive force.
To what?
What?
So like you said.
To allow girls to kill other people.
Like you said, shoot.
Yeah.
If you want to shoot him in the leg or whatever, or multiple.
It was like four or five shots, right?
It didn't need that many shots and a taser could have done the job.
And then there's tasers.
That shit is mad easy to say when it's not your daughter about to be getting stabbed.
Yo, if my daughter's about to be stabbed and there's a cop there and he's going, well, I guess I'll just tase no.
You make sure my daughter's safe.
And you're not, I don't disagree with that.
And that's where I do think this is, there is actually a lot of gray area with this.
So if you want to make it excessive, whatever, or you don't need to shoot multiple times, cool, I can hear that.
Taser, maybe.
I don't know.
I can see.
I'm only a certain amount effective.
Only a certain amount.
So if it's going to walk away from the taser.
So that's what I'm saying.
I'm with like, I don't necessarily just accept that.
Yeah, just taser him.
I'm not, that's possible.
But for sure, I don't think you need to shoot four or five times.
If you cannot shoot to kill, great.
That's where the gray area is.
That's where it's not on this cop, to be honest, as much as it is the way cops are trained.
So putting this cop's face up is irresponsible.
Well, they told the cop, they trained him and said, if someone's going to try to kill someone else, you got to kill him.
That's what I'm saying.
We know that LeBron James on Twitter, he happens to be one of the most prolific athletes in history.
He's done an amazing thing, amazing things in his career, not only through athletics, but through charity and that kind of stuff.
That's really cool.
He's also a fucking goofball, fake activist that just virtue signals for pats on the back.
And it's a shame, but that is what it is.
But he also lives that life as well.
He also does amazing things.
He makes a fucking school.
He cares about these kids.
I'm sure he donates millions of dollars.
So we're expecting him to be like this perfect fucking human being, get everything right every single time, which is not fair.
We don't get everything right every time.
LeBron doesn't.
He's going to get it way more because it's an EG touching point conservative.
Just go at LeBron.
He's a lightning rod.
It is what it is.
And also when he posted the tweet, I don't know if all the facts about the story were out.
I don't know if they knew that there was a knife involved.
And that's him being irresponsible with his platform, and he has to know what comes with that.
Yeah, he should.
And it was a responsibility thing, but I don't know if he necessarily knew all the context when he played.
And then he took it back.
Maybe he found more context and then deleted it.
And that's fair.
And he did the right thing to delete it.
Don't leave it up there if it's going to be misinforming.
I'm just saying, it's like the fact that we could get into some sort of like racial situation, like, oh, he didn't have to shoot her three times.
How'd he know if he hit her?
Like, if he shot her after she's on the ground, yeah, that's fucked up.
But if you're letting off three to make sure that you hit her so that you can save the girl that she's trying to penetrate with a knife, I don't see that as this racist act of a cop.
I think there are plenty other racist acts of cop that we can focus on and think about fixing policing.
This is not the one where we go, we need to fix policing.
I can agree with that.
Yeah, because that's the argument.
In a vacuum, if that was what should have been done, but people are asking like for all of those that should have been done, how many mistakes have been made in policing in general that need like that non-lethal force or that extra step to prevent that?
And she would be that piece of collateral damage in that situation.
I just think issues like this take away from like a very valid argument that we should fix policing, right?
When you use this as the example for fixing policing, so many people go, what are you talking about?
These are just people crying about bullshit.
This is dumb.
This is stupid.
You give them an out.
You give them the per, it is literally the perfect out.
It's like, how do we fix policing?
We stop them from saving people's lives.
They're about to be murdered.
You want to stop that part?
Like, I think a lot of people looked at this and go, policing works.
I think a lot of people watch that.
They go, wow, you saved a person's life.
Yeah, I didn't.
Yeah, to your point, there's a need for change or whatever.
But if you're going to be passionate about it, you got to make sure you're talking to the other side.
If we're just talking to ourselves, you're not going to make change.
Let's elevate the things that need to be changed.
There's a case coming.
I think we just saw it on Twitter.
In South Carolina, they're declared a state of emergency because body cam footage is about to be released of a black guy who got murdered last week by a cop.
And I don't know what the footage is, but potentially that's going to be that sounds like one.
The way the city's preparing, or it's like, oh, hey, this is probably going to be another Chauvin type.
Yo, this is foul.
And we got to do something else.
Let's highlight that.
Let's elevate that.
Let's give as much, let's put as much gas on that flame as we possibly can because there can improve policing.
The idea that you can't improve policing is absurd.
You can improve everything.
Yeah.
Literally everything in life can be improved.
And if you're pushing back against the improvement of anything, you're a baboon.
Yeah.
Okay.
Very simple.
We can prove it.
Do we take examples that people are not going to agree with at all and use them and highlight them as why policing can be improved?
No.
Yeah.
We show when something doesn't work at all and it completely breaks down why it needs to be improved, right?
I mean, this is just such a no-brainer situation.
I don't know how it fucking shut down the internet.
So it could, yeah.
If you look at this and you say, yo, we can still improve policing, cool.
But if you're going to make this a cornerstone of your argument for police brutality, I just think it's easier for the other side to pick apart.
You know who wants you to do that?
The other side.
Yeah.
The other side would want nothing more.
Because then I don't have to emotionally invest.
I can write it off in my mind and then live my life and not worry.
It would be literally, it would be like conservative anti-Black Lives Matter people's dream.
Yeah.
If the Black Lives Matter movement and the defund the police movement use this situation as their perfect example as to why we need to improve policing or defund the police or get rid of police.
Like that would be their absolute wet dream if they did that.
Yeah.
Because it would be so, like you said earlier, so easy to dismiss.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
I also think the media had something to do with like sort of fanning the flames of it.
Because the story broke like pretty much like hours after the Derek Chauvin conviction.
And there was like a lot of pent-up anxiety and tension about the conviction of whether or not he would be guilty or not guilty.
And then in the wake of that, the media is pushing the story saying, you know, like young 16-year-old girl shot by a white police officer, which is technically true, but then there's more context to it that seems to get left out of the headlines.
And obviously, with the way the media works, those things don't get necessarily get picked up.
And so a lot of people that felt, I think, tension and like anxiety and even animosity from the Chauvin verdict, I think were able to find, you know, like an outlet for their frustration with the story as well.
Especially because I think a lot of people were surprised at the verdict.
And it's unfortunate that you could go through life being surprised that that would be a good idea.
It's such a clear-cut situation.
Yeah, but and that is absolutely horrible.
But I think there are a lot of people expecting Chauvin to get off and then having anger and angst based on that expectation.
And then he gets convicted on all accounts.
And all of a sudden, that anger and angst doesn't go away.
It needs to be processed in some way or it needs to be projected on something.
And then the perfect fucking case on paper, cop shoots 16-year-old black girl without any context.
The perfect on paper for you to be upset about, steamroll.
Yeah.
And even the people that were excited, they're like, wow, this is such a great victory.
And then they see this kind of story again with that same headline and they go, oh, wow, we're back where we started.
And so, like, the emotional response from this, especially in the wake of such a controversial ruling, I think is like, I think it has a lot of that is why that kind of story got picked up in fans so much.
What do you think, you know?
No, I just think people confuse or conflate.
Yeah, conflate like racist cops with bad policing.
Excessive force.
Oh, I think the knife combo is really excessive force combo.
That's what I was race combo.
So what do you think the right thing to do would be in that situation?
No, I mean, like, there are countries that don't really wield guns.
Like you have the UK.
Like, they police their countries without the use of guns.
And it's like, I think you just have a portion of your police that have guns, and then you call them for escalated situations.
But I think if you have it on your waist, it's like that's just going to be your go-to because you know this will get the job done instead of this thing that's maybe 75% effective or some type of pepper spray.
In the UK, they have guns.
They just, they're trained to have some type of de-escalation.
And I don't think all the oxygen.
I think there's a gun police.
They don't walk around with gun guns.
That's crazy in Europe, considering all that goes down.
Sorry.
That's the bigger combo, though.
That's a terrorist tax issue.
Yeah.
Should the state have a monopoly on murder?
You know what I mean?
Like the state is able to kill people.
And then the question is, should they be allowed to?
And should citizens have more leeway in that regard?
There's so much control over what we're allowed to do as citizens.
I mean, that's an easy, that's an easy question, you know, at least for us to answer.
If you have an armed republic, you need an armed police force.
And if you don't want an armed police force, then take away the arms from the Republic.
Take away the arms from the people.
I personally like the fact that we have the right to bear arms.
And I understand the cost of that is police also get to do it because how the fuck are you going to police me if I could point a gun at you and now you got to do whatever the fuck I say?
So in the UK, they cannot have guns.
So you could have a little billy club and chase someone with that shit.
Simple as that.
You know, we make that choice.
And unfortunately, we have to live with the cost of that choice.
If the speed limit is 75 miles per hour and, you know, let's say car crashes over 25 miles per hour often lead to death or whatever, that's the cost that we pay for the 75 miles per hour speed limit.
If we don't want any more deaths, we bring it down to 25 and we'll be okay.
But we got shit to go.
We got shit to go to.
We got a place to be.
Yep.
It's a tricky listen.
And I think people just don't want to reckon with the idea there are certain police killings that are justified in the wake of so many killings that aren't justified.
People are hypersensitive.
Mortal Kombat Movie Nostalgia00:07:18
Yep.
I see that.
All right.
What else we got?
We got Oscars popping off.
I didn't even know it was happening until I looked at Twitter.
Well, I didn't even know movies came out this year.
I was like, what movies?
First of all, actually, before I need to give a huge shout out to our boy Van Lathan, ex-TMZ employee Van Lathan, best thing that could ever happen was leaving TMZ so we could win a fucking Oscar.
That's wild.
Yeah, so shout out to Van.
That's my brother.
I love you, man.
I'm so proud of you.
And it's just so great to see.
And yeah, it's just, it's just, his journey's been awesome to watch.
And yeah, that's just great.
That's just great.
Short film doc, his doc.
It's called Two Distant Strangers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gotta look out for that.
So check that out, man.
Check out Van.
Show love to Van, man.
But what were you saying about the Oscars in general?
I just had no idea.
I just think it's getting more and more irrelevant every year.
And it's so funny to watch these actors still think they matter and do their fucking social chants whenever they win an award and nobody cares.
Yeah, it is funny.
Well, ready for the numbers?
Yeah.
Officially, the lowest Oscar viewership in history, under 10 million.
And last year was the all-time low of like 23 million.
So it's dropped that drastically low.
And this was directed or put together, produced by Steven Soderberg, who like brought you the Oceans franchise.
Like you think, all right, he's going to shake it up.
Garbage.
Still three hours.
No monologues, no, no sauce, nothing.
You know why I love watching actors lose is because they swear they're for the people and then they all put on $10,000 outfits to be for the people where they go to this award show and the people are literally caged off and they walk a royal red carpet like kings and queens and then they go into a fucking castle and lock the door and then you watch them pat themselves on the back like kings and queens.
You're not for the people.
You are kings and queens pretending.
Even to add to that, I'm pretty sure the city of Los Angeles like bust out homeless people and got them away from the venue that they were having.
This is so, this is so funny.
And the city displaced the homeless from that area, right?
Yeah.
And then I believe Best Picture or something like that, or one of the.
What was it?
It was the Best Picture.
Best Picture was a movie about homelessness.
It's just on the self-awareness.
They bust out.
They sweep away the homeless.
They go in with their sweep away the tents, sweep away the homeless, so that they can give out an award for a movie about homelessness and the crisis that that is.
It's unbelievable.
The fact that you think you have the right to get political, it's infuriating to me.
Like you have no ground to stand on.
You're the most out-of-touch person on earth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I fucking hate actors.
You just talk for a living.
You don't even write this year.
I mean, what does that say about Hollywood that all these, all the like the Oscars are tanking and all these other award shows are tanking?
It's over, baby.
Well, I think you could say in terms that's that's decreased in terms of like, I guess, importance, but people still are loving content more than ever.
They're just finding in different ways.
And it's like, all right, we don't really care about the fame in a certain way.
That's why when you watch content on TV, like you talk almost less about actors and someone's saying that show is great with these, you know, these Brits you've never seen in your life.
And so that's it.
That's good.
Writers and directors, and that's going to come up.
And there's a lot more voices that can be seen.
I mean, if you think about it, all of the winners, it's the ones who really controlled it were Netflix, like Hulu.
That's where you can see all these films.
I mean, they're still controlled by some of the studios, but isn't that just taking over?
Is that just like this year is in particularly bizarre?
Because I'm sure it didn't help.
Like, I have no clue any of the films that were nominated this year.
I mean, do you guys know?
There was like this big, there's this big beef over because Chadwick Boseman, R.I.P. didn't win, and Anthony Hopkins won for Best Actor.
Soon to be R.I.P., right?
Let's be honest about that.
Who Anthony Hopkins?
Probably.
That's going off numbers here.
You know what I mean?
Actuary Table.
No, that's actually the funniest guy on social media.
You should follow him.
You think he's a 20, 20-year-old wild boy.
So here's my point.
People are upset that Chadwick Boseman didn't win, right?
How many people saw the Anthony Hopkins movie?
The father.
I didn't even know that movie existed.
I don't even know what Chadwick Bozeman was nominated for.
Black Panther?
What was he nominated for?
Sound of Metal.
No.
No.
Rainey's Black Bottom.
I mean, like, I don't even know these movies.
I have no clue.
So people are getting outraged about it.
Like, be honest, you didn't see any of them.
None of us saw movies this year.
Yeah.
I wish I didn't.
Yeah, you would have thought that they would have because everything's available and it used to be.
I wish I didn't see a goddamn movie this year.
I'll tell you that much.
Saw one too many fucking movies.
All back to last episode.
Yeah.
I guess.
I mean, just, I'm tired of it, bro.
I'm just tired.
Yeah.
The only one I saw was Judas and the Black Messiah.
And I thought that was great.
I heard it was amazing.
Shout out to Leonard Brothers and brothers.
Did that win it then?
Yeah, David Kulai or whatever, however you say his name, he won for Best Supporting Actor.
That's cool.
Yeah.
And he's a hell of a fucking actor.
Great actor.
But I can't tell you he did better than anybody else because I didn't see shit.
Nobody saw shit.
And you would have thought that they would have figured out how to really market those films because typically with the normal Oscars, those movies don't get a big release.
They wait for the Oscars.
You see the winners and then they go in a bigger theatrical release.
This time it's like they're all streaming.
They could have done a push.
Everyone would have been ready to see it.
Nope.
They also were depressing dramas.
Like it was, you know, people that were already depressed, like put more depressing shit out.
Like, come on, B.
They need Dana White to promote the Oscars.
Yeah.
You know who had it right back in the day?
It was MTV Movie Awards.
They killed it.
Kill.
Talk shit to everybody, make fun of everybody, have sketches, making fun of everything, and then just let fans vote.
And we're not going to be happy with it because fans are stupid.
But at least it's fans.
Yeah.
You just can't have antics like that anymore.
Well, even MTV fans.
They started thinking, they started thinking it was important.
They stopped thinking the award show was a joke and they started thinking it was actually something serious.
And then they just ruined the whole fucking thing.
Yep.
I mean, whatever.
That's a problem.
When these goofies start taking themselves seriously, man, it is a damn, damn shame.
All right.
What about Mortal Kombat, Al?
You just saw it.
Oh, yeah.
I saw Mortal Kombat.
It was, eh, I give it like two out of five.
Really?
But, you know, nostalgia was cool.
Sub-Zero character?
Yeah, it was like Sub-Zero and the Scorpion character there back and forth.
That was, that made the movie.
Yeah, yeah.
Outside of that, I was like, eh.
How was Raiden?
Yeah, trash.
Really?
Like, it looked like the CGI for his eyes.
Like, we could have done that on fucking that bad.
First, Mortal Kombat was so lit when we were kids.
Oh, my.
That was fucking.
And if you watch it back now, because you put it on.
What's worse?
It's horrible.
For these times, this one is worse.
Because the fucking graphics should be way better.
Was it traumatizing to see the movie after I whooped your ass in Mortal Kombat when we were in North Carolina?
Sub-Zero Scorpion Trash Raiden00:12:06
Are you lying?
Like, you know, you go to hell when you lie like that.
Yo, Mark, I'll try to get out of here.
You were absolutely horrible.
You were horrible in everything we played.
I whooped you in Mortal Kombat.
NBA Jam, you're nice at?
Nah, I got his number now.
Oh, my God.
I got his number now.
When we left.
Let's be honest.
You went on a run.
Mark is nice.
You haven't beat me in NBA Jam.
The last four times we played, I beat you.
Last four times we played.
What did you play with?
I played my same team.
Oh, my God.
He doesn't even know what team he plays with.
He doesn't play.
I'm putting in hours, bro.
I put in hours.
I train every day.
This man can't even kill you.
Wait, wait, wait.
Really beat you last four times?
No.
Yes, I don't lie here.
I've been untouched.
I swear.
To God, bro.
I've been untouched.
Yo, he just swore to God.
You heard what he said.
Untouched.
He's not swearing anything.
You swear to God you didn't lose the last four times.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure if I'm doing this right last four games.
Then y'all played.
I swear to God, I didn't lose the last four years.
I played Al.
When did you beat me?
When did you beat me?
Why do you believe him?
Because he seems so fucking sick.
He does seem sincere, bro.
When did you beat him?
Usually the more shocked person four times in a row can't believe what's happening.
The last four times we played.
When?
Couldn't get a win.
What do you mean, when?
The last four.
That's when.
But, like, I remember the days, bro.
Like, was this when we were packing up?
I beat you and we were packing up when we were packing up the studio.
He didn't even play a full game because we stopped playing that game.
Oh, that sounds like.
He noticed that, right?
We did stop playing.
You quit playing.
We quit.
We were packing.
Yeah.
Guys, hold on.
Who won?
For real.
For real.
I swear.
You haven't beat me.
Yo, bring the game here.
Bring the game here right now.
We go into an arcade, right?
No, I was getting my ass bust.
I'll be honest with you.
I just stopped playing it.
That game's stupid.
I started playing online.
I started playing online with people.
Can I be honest?
I just really love that you guys are enjoying my gift so much.
It really makes me happy that I can bring you some.
That's not your gift.
That's Aldeo's gift.
I just really himself.
That's not your gift of the game.
Aldea and me just came again.
What happened to the bigger one you were going to get for here?
Yeah, remember you were going to get it.
You moved.
Yeah, you're going to get a bigger one for here.
You said, oh, we're not going to bring it because I'll just get one in Miami.
Yeah, you did too.
I'll order it.
Hey, listen, you want it right now?
I'll order right now.
Let's see.
Let's wait till I'm going to be able to do it.
Look at that.
I can't order anything.
My soul was like, what you doing?
Anywho, okay, last one.
And then we out of here.
All right.
This story is coming from Japan.
Apparently, there is a man in Japan that dated 35 women at the same time and told them all that his birthday was on a different day.
Wow.
He gets arrested for fraud.
Fire.
Wait, why is he arrested for fraud?
He's defrauding people, I guess.
I think it was a financial.
He's getting these birthday gifts, I think.
Presents from all the chicks.
I think it was another thing that he was doing.
I think it was like a financial fraud thing that he was involved with simultaneously while dating all these chicks.
So he had 35 girls in the roster.
In the Waldorf.
In the Waldorf.
He had 35 bitches in the Waldorf.
Yeah.
Right?
35 geishas in the Waldorf.
I got geishas in the Waldorf.
Yo, this guy's a legend.
We need him on a track.
So he got birthday presents and these girls were so tight when they found out they wanted their money back for the birthday presents.
Take your little birthday present, bitch.
Why is this an international story?
Because you got tricked.
Oops.
Yeah, when you break up with a guy, do you give him his shit back?
All his gifts he gave you?
Yeah.
Give it back.
No, this is supposed to be a gift.
What?
What's the problem here?
That's so goofy.
How you didn't know he was dating 35 other girls?
That's absurd.
Yeah.
Dummy.
That's on the shorties, bro.
Yo, does this say something about Japan, though?
Yes.
Declining population, my guy.
I don't know.
I agree with whatever you're saying.
Declining population, bro.
That's a declining population.
But as we just know, Japanese men have a hard time hooking up with Japanese women, that they have a declining birth rate, and they have to teach the men in Japan how to appropriate.
So then one dude who actually talks to him has 35 girls.
It's like, fellas, step it up out there, bro.
Are they the ones that like slam on the wall?
Yeah, they knock on the wall.
Motherfucker slammed on a lot of walls.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
He probably got that Michael J. Fox.
He wasn't even trying to date these girls.
They were just shaken by walls.
They're like, ooh, it's time for me to get some dick.
That's how simple it is to get pussy out there in Japan, and these motherfuckers won't do it still.
Dog, isn't that crazy?
Declining population, dog.
Declining population.
So I don't know, man.
I feel like, hey, Asian chicks, I feel bad for you because dudes won't talk to you.
I do feel bad.
That sucks.
Imagine you're an Asian girl out there.
You just want to get cracked.
In Japan?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So it's like...
Because Asian girls here are doing fine.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that's what happens.
They come here, and I get it.
They just got to put themselves in a vending machine.
Like a claw game or something?
I'm telling you, man.
If they were in a vending machine, 100%, they could get picked up immediately.
You definitely get a boyfriend.
If you want a boyfriend in Japan, you just got to put yourself in a vending machine.
Just one day in a vending machine, some dude will find you 100%.
Wow.
That's so good.
That's a great point, bro.
That's a great point.
35 seems like too much, bro.
What, girls?
Trying to date 35 women?
Yeah.
I don't even understand the practicality of that.
How many total conversations do you think they had?
Imagine having.
35.
Bro, when I was in Japan, dude, I would go out to dinner.
I never have seen this in my life.
There'd be couples that just would not talk the entire dinner, dude.
They just sit there.
They either look at each other or they'd be on their phones together or they'd look at like the person making the food.
But zero conversation between each other.
I've never seen this.
So odd.
So fucking odd.
Place.
But like, here's the thing that pisses me off about that shit.
If you have no expectation to even socialize at dinner, the fuck you nervous about asking a girl to go out to dinner for you.
Oh, that's a good point.
Like, you don't even got to talk.
Yeah.
Why are you worried about asking a bitch out on a date?
That's an easy ass date, bro.
It's so easy.
You go out, you watch the chef cook because it's kind of like a performance or whatever the fuck.
And then you maybe go have sex to her.
Maybe you don't.
In America, we got to have some charisma.
You got to come with your jokes, the story.
You got to have an ice cream.
Would you rather, bro?
Come on.
It's farm, huh?
You got it laid on thick.
And we're not nervous out here.
We'll hit on you in the street.
Uh-uh.
G's up.
At the gym.
G's up.
Treadmill.
You doing the stairs.
Out of breath.
Can I get your number?
Uh-huh.
You take him to Benny Hanna.
You go, yo, wait, wait, wait.
I got to talk.
I got to talk.
Stop cooking shit, Mexican guy that looks Asian.
It's mind-boggling to me, bro.
It's mind-boggling.
You got no pressure whatsoever.
You just ask them to go on the date.
You just giggle at each other for an hour, whatever the fuck they do.
Stay on your phone.
Say what?
We're just standing in your phone.
Literally, they would both be on their phones, bro.
How do you know they weren't texting each other?
Say what?
How do you know they weren't technically?
They were playing Star Crush.
You don't know that.
Star Crush.
Ninja through Ninja.
No, but that's culture.
Telepathy, you're saying something like that.
Maybe.
Maybe they're in each other's thoughts or something.
Like a YouTube thing.
That could be it.
That could be it.
Yeah, Japan is like a big Star Trek ship to me.
Like, y'all just got a lot of technological advancements, a bunch of weird rules I don't understand.
Yeah.
You don't really talk to each other.
You're just ancient culture.
I feel like they just understand.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Oh, while we're talking about that, like telepathy shit.
I keep getting back to like this UFOs.
Like, isn't it crazy that the government's like, hey, there's UFOs?
And we're like, we don't get it.
Yeah.
Like, we get like nuts.
It used to be weird.
So, oh my God, there might be aliens.
Now the government's like, yo, there's aliens.
And we're like, so what?
UFC 261's on.
Yeah, we go.
Are we going to Mars or are we not going to Mars, Elon?
Like, we do not give a fuck about aliens.
So that's crazy.
That is amazing.
That topic came out like three weeks ago and we didn't talk about it.
We didn't even discuss it on the show.
They're being mad slutty about it, though.
What you mean?
Like, they'll be like, oh, there's a UFO unidentified object.
Might not be from another planet.
Could be something weird.
They're not saying aliens.
They're saying technology don't exist unless it's our technology and it does.
Yeah.
But all I'm saying, if nobody even cared about the semantics because nobody even read the fucking article.
They're teasing us, bro.
That's what it is.
We don't care.
They tease us too much.
We really cared.
They're teasing us too much.
So eventually we got to get out of here.
They just come out and go full frontal.
Yeah.
Also, why is it everybody take a picture of fucking aliens?
You got a flip phone.
We don't got one HD of the aliens.
Nah, it's Matt zoomed in.
Cut that out.
Why are we so far away?
We got Google Earth, bro.
That shit zoomed in.
Son, not only do we got that's true.
Google Earth is zoomed in.
That shit zooms pretty well.
Yeah.
We can't get one HD of these aliens, bro.
That's a great point.
Not one single fucking HD.
Something's off.
Something's off.
Like, speed up and go up to them.
If you're taking a picture in the plane, hello.
ET phone home, bro.
Let's get it.
Yeah.
Just ride your little bicycle and figure that shit out.
You can't kill him.
Like, we can't catch them or some shit.
I mean, I would shoot it.
If I'm a pilot, next time I'm doing it, I'm going to shoot it.
Just to see.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I don't know what you're up to.
It's like the cop with the Makaya Brunt.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, yo, you have to assume worse intentions, bro.
How?
You've seen all the movies with the aliens, right?
When they're over here, it's usually to fuck shit up.
Okay?
Independence Day.
I saw it.
I'll tell everybody straight up.
I saw the alien wielding a knife.
You know what I mean?
I thought that motherfucker was going right to the Empire State.
You know what I mean?
I thought it was going right to Empire State.
So I had to do what needed to be done.
Why aren't you stunned him?
We didn't, we're not doing the stunning.
We're going right.
Oh, the culture don't stun him.
We're not doing no.
Nukes.
Nukes.
If aliens come, they get into nukes.
Yeah.
Come, yo, if you got all that technology to get here, you can send an email first.
You can't send an email first.
Like, yo, we come in peace.
Don't be coming however.
Coming in unannounced.
Yo, you got all the technology to know where the fuck we are and to get here.
You could write an email.
Check in on the blog.
Check in.
You got to check in.
Yeah, they never check in.
Check the fuck in.
You better check in with America.
Don't be checking in with Russia or checking in with China.
Come here.
Come here.
Permits.
Have some permits in this bitch.
Yeah, I don't care if you don't speak English.
Figure it out.
You got here, motherfucker.
You don't think you could figure out English?
Yeah, this is America.
This America.
This is Earth, bro.
Come on, son.
We speak English on Earth.
We speak English on Earth.
You're going to come here saying, oh, I come in peace in some language we don't give a flying fuck about.
Yeah, this is Earth.
This is Earth, bro.
Come on out here.
We got to build a space wall.
Honestly, a net.
Because these aliens are coming in.
We build in a net.
We build a space net.
Bycatch net for aliens.
That's what I'm talking about.
We're going to catch these motherfuckers.
Yeah.
We're going to catch something real nice.
We might have to do that shit for food, bro.
What do you mean?
We run out of fish in the sea.
We run out of cows, see?
We're going to have to start eating some aliens.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
If we know that we could just have an entire race of aliens that we could eat, delicious, great source of protein, you don't think we would start eating them up?
Absolutely.
100%.
Yeah, that's a good point.
100%.
But yeah, there's a huge immigration issue happening with aliens.
On the ozone, yeah.
On the ozone?
Yeah.
Not on the ozone.
No, they keep coming through the ozone, bro.
Actually, I guess they have to come through the ozone in order to get here.
Yeah, we got to rebuild the ozone to keep them out.
That's what I'm saying.
There's a huge hole in the ozone.
How do you think they're getting in?
That's our space wall, though.
I want them to come.
Wait, what?
I want them to come.
I want them to, you know, go tell a little story about what happens.
We're going to take, we're going to do some 300 shit.
Remember when he kicked homeboying down the well, but then he let the other one go?
Yeah.
So tell your mans what happens over here.
That's what's going to happen.
Yeah.
One ship, we're going to torture them, motherfuckers.
We're going to make your head look big and fucking swollen.
Even if you don't look like that, we're going to turn it into that.
Yo, what if we put them in a UFC fight?
We probably will.
I think that's how we torture them.
Say, hey, oh, you want to come to Earth?
Here you go.
Yo.
Welcome.
Bang, bang.
You're in there with Kamaru.
You're getting choked the fuck up.
Out for the belt.
Let's go.
Let's go, aliens.
Let's go.
I'm all about this.
I want to smoke.
Fuck this.
Oh, let's have peace with the aliens.
Fuck what we want to talk about.
What you want to talk about with an alien about?
Well, in my country, we do that.
No, I don't want to whatever they, where do they live?
Planets?
Planet.
Why don't they?
Fuck my planet.
We have that up.
We don't want that.
I don't care about your stupid planet.
We're over here, baby.
Your plan sucks.
That's why you came.
Aliens Earth UFC Torture00:01:04
Yeah.
Your planet was so trash you needed to leave your planet.
Okay?
That's why we're trying to leave ours right there.
You know what I mean?
Getting kind of shitty, but what happens if we get to Mars and someone else gets to Mars?
Oh my God.
Now we got this colonization shit all over again.
Spew.
We got to get the attorneys involved.
Hold on, hold on.
You know, I started realizing we started hearing about aliens like two, three years ago.
The government was like, yo, they're out there.
When did we start this podcast?
Two, three years ago.
What you trying to say?
I think the aliens are fans, dog.
You think they know the front of it?
Long live the flagrancy.
They probably from some PC ass planet, cuck-ass planet.
They do shit.
And they're like, bro, we need jokes, dog.
We need jokes back.
Yeah, somewhere else.
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